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Reading Reviews From Member: Augurey Pleur
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Augurey PleurEqual Measure Good and Bad: A Break in Pattern

5th December 2015:
Hey nice flow after your last chapter, but I was waiting for some major news to drop! Ahh, not we must wait. Draco knows something... Really want to know who's behind all this. I have a suspicion it's George, which I realize makes no sense, but you could make it work! So please make George kinda-evil-but-actually-really-lost-and-hurt.

Kinda confused why Ginny can't smell? Is that what you were implying in that scene? If that's the case, why wouldn't she just tell Harry? Also, that scene was adorable but weird. I was like "Are they... going to do it while drinking tea? Kinky." hahahaha.(Are you uncomfortable yet?)

Astoria's character is really cute and nice, and I'm hoping to get to know her better. Hope to see other sides to her, like she's hiding a secret? or she has a secret agenda? Actually... that gives me an idea. *makes a note*

One last thing, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you should request for someone to help edit before posting. Honestly, I find this helps me a lot because I learn to see the things people point out and I actually get better from their feedback. I noticed you're getting better with the grammatical errors, but they're still some there, which is distracting as a reader. Think about it? :)

Overall, nice work! ~Ether.

Author's Response: Hello Ether and thanks for another great review. :)

Hehe.. That's an interesting theory Ether I must say. :D

Nah they weren't gonna do anything. Just wanted to show the serenity in Harry's life at the moment.

Astoria is a simple woman who is trying to keep herself together in a real tough time.

About your CC, don't be afraid of offending me Ether. If you have taken the pains to go through my entire story and supported me through it , then you deserve to tell me where I go wrong as well. About your suggestion, I have actually found a beta :) and she will help me from the next chapter.

Thanks for staying with me for so long and I hope I do not disappoint you Ether.

-Penn


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Review #2, by Augurey PleurEqual Measure Good and Bad: Opening Moves

1st December 2015:
I think this is your best chapter yet. The curse set on Demelza was creepy and your wrote that scene really well. You could feel the tension and fear in it. The reader in me is glad she survived, but the critic in me kinda wished she died. I think it would have really spoken to how powerful and ruthless this dark wizard is.

Demelza's reaction to Draco makes sense. I've had the feeling that the trio's trust for Draco was too quickly given. I know he seems like a good guy, but he hasn't given them a real reason to trust him yet. So I'm glad to see other people being distrusting because I definitely would be.

But it's good to see he's been given a chance to earn that trust. Of course Harry is the first to give that to him:)

Once again, great chapter. Story is really picking up quickly and I'll impatiently wait for an update!

Author's Response: Thanks Ether. Writing is a hard job (as you very well know) but the praises of the readers makes it all worthwhile.

I loved writing this chapter, especially the hangman scene. Trust me, it gave me the chills just writing about it. At the moment, all I shall tell you is that there is a reason Demelza wasn't killed.

The Trio haven't really began to trust him. But I guess after this chapter, I can explain it. As you read, he is the one who treated Molly Weasley. So they are indebted to him. Its a bit like Snape's behaviour toward Harry in the 'Philosopher's Stone'

As for that update, well I just put up a chapter for validation. Hope it goes through all right and I shall PM you as soon as it's up.

Thanks again for all your help up till now. Hope you continue to read further.

-Penn


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Review #3, by Augurey PleurEqual Measure Good and Bad: Conjecture

1st December 2015:
I'm finding all the new references are beginning to get a little confusing, and I have to ask myself "oh, who's that again?" But this isn't a bad thing, just means your story has layers:) When I first read philosopher's stone as a kid, I felt the same way.

You seem to take great care into expanding this world. It' refreshing to learn more about wand making and the history of the Brother. A nice touch was the dementor's sickness, because I think you might be onto something. That sounds almost Canon.

I'm confused why they weren't successful with the Stonehenge, but I think I'm supposed to be as a reader. And when you refer to a portal, do you mean in a literal sense? Like a portal to a different place or TIME?! haha, that'd be awesome. I hope someone gets stuck there. Harry. and Draco. Together. (Hahah, only so that they can become friends and come to respect each other. I have no drarry expectation, I swear! It'd be refreshing if they became actual friends. Or even like Ron and Draco. I'm rambling, moving on -)

Really like the insight that they're seeing a different side to Draco. I think you should elaborate on that for sure!

The Dark Mark is back! It could literally have been cast by anyone, but I'm suspecting it's someone we know... Intrigued.

Author's Response: Thanks Ether. You are most effusive with your praise. *blushes

I love adding the various layers to this story. This ain't a simple story at any rate. I literally had to spend days planning and perfecting it so someone showing interest in the layering is refreshing. :)

Well, a Time Portal would be really cool I admit but this is a power portal. In the sense that it sucks all energy from the neighbouring areas into itself and can direct it at an object of choice.

The different side of Draco shall be explained in the next chapter.

Oh yeah, the Dark Mark is back. We know the person who cast it only too well. ;)

-Penn


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Review #4, by Augurey PleurEqual Measure Good and Bad: Puzzles

1st December 2015:
When Ron said to Draco that no one else was a Pureblood, that everyone else was known for their deeds, I was actually angry that Draco didn't say something. His younger self never would have let Ron see that he's hurt... He'd say something like, "Yes well, not all of us have such a reputable repertoire of good deeds." or something! I just can't see him not taking the chance to retort. He's too proud and private to let it slide... at least his younger self was, and of course he's changed over the decades. This Draco is more mature and honest with his emotions.

Ron's still has a big mouth though, hahah.

Actually, it seemed like everyone except Draco was a bit on edge on this chapter. Ron and Hermione bickering was on point, but I did find it weird they continued infront of people they don't know. I love that Ron just decides to wake up his brother in the middle of the night, because it really does show the relationship between these siblings. They're close enough to not care.

The ending was a real twist! I'd excited to see what the means and who is behind it all...

Author's Response: Thanks for another great review Ether.

The way I thought of it, Draco realizes after probably years of listening to taunts and jeers and insults that somewhere down the line, he is truly to blame for these. That's why he takes these with silence.

About Ron and Hermione bickering, well some things never change do they now. The very essence of their relationship is the fact that they are completely unlike each other.

The siblings do share great equations with each other.

Do read ahead and tell me what you feel about the information I am going to give out in the next chapter.


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Review #5, by Augurey PleurEqual Measure Good and Bad: Musings

30th November 2015:
Your story is really interesting because we're seeing your interpretations of their adult versions. I feel like Draco is most different, but this makes sense if he just grew up some and found some closure. He still has a bit of a bit to him, but it's more contained and he seems much more content. Ron is also a little different, in that his priorities seem to have shifted. I think when he was younger (or how I see him in my mind), he would never give up the opportunity to work as an Auror, you know, chose that exciting, yet dangerous life. This Ron seems more settled and again content on just being a good family man. I'm glad Hermione's still ambitious because I don't think that would ever change. She probably had a huge hand in developing those House Elf laws (which kinda seem a little bizarre to me, because the law can't really force people to be 'polite' but I think you meant to emphasize that there are house elf rights now.)

Harry- still seems like our brave and selfless hero, except he seems more commanding now. Which I like. As a teen he's sometimes a bit awkward and comes across as hesitant. I think he would have grown out of that for sure. But... I hope not completely. One of Harry's endearing qualities is that while he thinks he's right and acts impulsively, he's not arrogant or even sure. He stumbles around a little bit and needs the help of others more than he realizes.

Anyways, loving the direction of the story and I'm so happy to see the worlds beginning to collide. Curious to see how adult Ron and Draco are like. If I had to blame one of them for regressing to old ways first, I think. I'd chose Ron. And if that happens than Draco won't bother being civil, LOL.

Author's Response: Thanks Ether for a marvellous review. I shall be getting to yours in a short while. Real life being a right pain.

Thanks for noticing the adult interpretations in them. :) Its so hard to get the balance just right. But yes with time they have grown out of their childish impulsiveness and have mellowed down a bit.

Hermione is still the trailblazer. I mean changing that would have been catastrophic. Harry is more collected and realizes and fulfils his duties to the Wizarding World.

The civility is there because in my timeline Draco has helped them in a big way. Well we shall get to it later now, shan't we?

Thanks a ton Augurey and I do hope you read ahead and tell me what you think about it.

-Penn


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Review #6, by Augurey PleurEqual Measure Good and Bad: The Curse of the Stonehenge

29th November 2015:
I already reviewed chapter one, but I think it never went through, ahh! But it's okay because most of what I had said is still fresh in my head.

I pointed out a few grammatical errors and sometimes I felt the dialogue was a little stiff, but this was already improved a bit by the second chapter. My advice for dialogue (not that I'm an expert by any means, lol), is to not write perfectly. People don't speak in perfect sentences most of the time, and we tend to use contractions. So instead of "I am so happy," it'd sound more natural if it was "I'm so happy."

But over all the story has started off with an interesting and original idea. I love that you started from a muggle's POV, since hp readers don't tend to see that side of things. Really curious to see what happens next! Great job:)

Author's Response: Thanks for the Augurey for the review (I have gotten into the habit of calling you Ether)

This dialogue issue has plagued me from the beginning. But I guess I have improved as I went ahead.

Do read ahead and tell me what you think about it.

-Penn


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Review #7, by Augurey PleurEqual Measure Good and Bad: Hearts are broken, Lives go on

29th November 2015:
oh, love how you casually dropped that a brother was missing. (This got me thinking: "What? Which one? Did I miss something?!")

Dude, I'm so far loving your Draco, so yummy. Sorry, slightly inappropriate, but that's my unfiltered thought process. Hope we get to see his snarky and sarcastic side, but I'm glad he seems happy with Astoria. I can't see any hint of the kids?

Also, not GEORGE! I think he's my favourite Weasley... I like Bill, but so far feel he's a little "safe". If he's a main character, I'd like to learn more about him or what makes him "bill", different form his other brothers.

All in all, curious to see where this leads. The tone of the story is good, such that there's a nice balance between dialogue and description.

Oh and I forgot to mention, I'm Ether.

Author's Response: Hey Augurey. Thanks for all the lovely comments. :hugs:

The idea of dropping in the missing brother was deliberate. I wanted to create an impression upon the reader and by the looks of it I succeeded.

Draco is one of my favourite characters too. As for the kids, its been 23 years since the battle of Hogwarts so they are passed out of school and starting to enjoy their own lives.

Bill is going to flit in and out of the story but he isn't a major character.

Please do read ahead and let me know what you think about it.

-Penn


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Review #8, by Augurey PleurA Chronicle of Wasted Time: Creation

15th January 2014:
Hi there. I'm here to swap reviews with you.

I must first say that I'm really impressed. But before I go on and praise you, I have to get one little thing out of the way. I saw a couple of run-on sentences that I found to be distracting. But this is more of my personal preference than a real critique!

I love the way you write. (I'm a little jealous.) I feel like you have this older style of writing that isn't really used much any more. It's not obvious, but it creeps through here and there. What I enjoyed most about the narrative is that it's quite refined and elegant, without being "stuffy". I'm not sure if I'm explaining this right. I suppose I found that there was a poetic feel to your tone, but it was not at all "flowery". I'm not sure how easy it was to accomplish that, but it sounded effortless!

My second favourite thing about this story was the originality of the plot. From what I see so far, you are actually writing a story about magic. You're taking your time to explain some of the rules that were never taught to us. :) I do find it very interesting that you made her character so different form her real-life counterpart. (I always imagined them being somewhat like an incomplete reflection.)

All in all, great job! I have added this to my reading list!:D

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Thank you! I'm glad you liked the story. I'll definitely have to go back and check for run-on sentences- it's definitely one of my weak points. :P

It's really wonderful to hear you like my writing style and the way you described it: poetic, but not flowery. That's just what I was hoping for. Honestly that style comes quite naturally to me because I quite like it, so I'm glad you enjoyed it as well.

Thank you! I love Harry Potter lore and getting to invent and play in the world of magic was really enjoyable. I love how you explained it as an incomplete reflection! I imagined that the Lady would feel quite separate from the original person.

Thanks so much for the wonderful review! :) I really appreciate all your lovely words.


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