Reading Reviews From Member: marauderslover15
  
144 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderslover15A is for...: Arriving

23rd September 2014:
HI!

Sorry it took me longer to review. I had a death in the family.

At first, I was confused when I saw "Kat" I was like wait, I thought this was a Dramione! HAHA. But you changed Hermione's middle name to Jean to Kat. That is very cute especially the nickname "Kit Kat."

Anyway, You are off to a great start! This seems so much like Hermione, getting so excited for school. I can't imagine the excitement of going to the year of Hogwarts. And you pinpointed Ron's character so well in the flashback. What you describe him in Hermione's perspective as is really canon.

One mistake I found which I am pointing it out as a friend was, "I walked into the kitchen, the aroma of breakfast filling her nostrils." HER. I think you meant mine. It's a silly mistake, we all make from time to time in our writing. Sometimes things are overlooked, but a quick edit then your first chapter is PERFECTION! HAHA.

I hope this review is helpful and can't wait 'till you put more up. =D

Author's Response: Hiya! ^^

Oh no! I hope and pray that everyone is doing okay! :<

Haha, yes! I was going for confusion, I'm glad I succeeded! :P Her middle name is actually Kathleen!

Aww, thank you!! It's so nice to hear I'm capturing the characters nicely! I haven't written fan fiction before because of lack of confidence in portraying the characters :<

Ohhh maaan, thanks! I have a really hard time with tenses, so my mind probably didn't even register it as a mistake as I was reading over it!

Thanks again xx
-Miri


 Report Review

Review #2, by marauderslover15What next?: Chapter One

7th September 2014:
HI! Here with your requested review. Sorry it took me a bit.

I think this is a great start. By the first chapter you can tell Rose's life is dynamic and she will struggle with many parts of her life like Malfoy, her mother and Jonathan. You are really setting up the story so readers know what to expect.

Each character, you made it your own. Al in Gryffindor (he is usually in Slytherin & friends with Malfoy). Rose is different, not usually the upbeat, sarcastic one with best friends with Dom Weasley. And the relationship between Rose and Scorp is unique as I am use to reading about them always teasing each other, but pretending to hate each other. Their relationship seems more complex than that. This is all something you should be VERY proud of. You claim things as your own and it is refreshing to see.

You had a beautiful balance between descriptions, feelings & thoughts and dialogue. There was no grammar or spelling mistakes that I read. This was flawless in many ways. Really great work wouldn't cut it on how well written this is and the effort you put into it. Absolutely wonderful! XOXO

Author's Response: Hello!

Aah, thank you so much for this wonderful review! I've been smiling at the screen like an idiot for more than five minutes before I could reply. :)

I'm so glad you like what I've done with the characters! I just went with what I thought was most likely to happen and how they might turn out. I kind of ignored the rest of the Weasley clan, which I know some readers will find off-putting but my love for original characters was stronger, haha. And yes, Rose and Scorpius have a weird thing going between them, so I hope the next chapter will clarify how Rose feels about it. Anyway, I'm so happy you found the relationships between the characters believable, that is something I put a lot of thought into.

Thank you again so much! I really appreciate you taking your time to read and review. :)

- Andy


 Report Review

Review #3, by marauderslover15And Just Like That: Chapter 1

1st September 2014:
HI! Here with your requested review.

First off, let me say I am hooked and you won't need to request any reviews from me anymore b/c I will come on my own. I loved this and you reminded me of why I love Lily and James.

Even though you set this in an AU, you have so good that you stay true the characters. Every single character is as if JK would have written them in the real world. Not only the characters were very canon, but even the situations. You aligned the situations in Hogwarts and played them out if it was in real life. I love it, I truly do. I could find nothing wrong with this. This is so creative and original and yet I still see Harry Potter series in this.

I can't wait for the next chapter!
WONDERFUL WORK!

Author's Response: Sorry for my delayed response! I just got back to school so I'm getting settled with friends and classes.

But thank you so much! This is so so so so sweet and I can't stop grinning! I'm glad that you're enjoying the story so much and I'll do my best not to disappoint with the upcoming chapters!

Again, thank you so much!

~Jess :)


 Report Review

Review #4, by marauderslover15Define Me: Issues

26th August 2014:
Hi again! Here for your requested review, obviously.

This is by far my favorite chapter. I love the fact we got to see more of Taylor's life other than work. I love, love her little brother and her interactions with him show that she could be a good mother. That gave me some hope! And I feel so bad for her. I never felt worst for character in a fanfic! Aw, Taylor. I just really hope she gets accepted into James' family.

I am glad to see James make an appearance. They work well together and I love the cliffy. I need to know what happens next! UGH!

Great story. This will do well. =D

Of course, please don't be afraid to rerequest!

Author's Response: Yay, thank you so much!!

I loved this chapter as well, although the following one that I will be submitting very soon is probably one I like a little more. I thought it was about time we see her outside of work. And I has mentioned Parker several times and thought it about time to actually introduce him to the story. (: She has a lot of mothering instinct and knowledge because she has practically raised him since he was very young. She's in a tough spot, I'll say. But I promise that I'm a firm believer that there is light at the end of the tunnel eventually.

The entire Potter/Weasley clan will be introduced soon. First James has to talk to Taylor about everything and decide what he wants to do.

I'm glad the Cliffie wasn't too annoying, I felt it a good place to stop. I was happy to bring James back though! The next chapter picks up right where this left off, no worries. So you'll see a lot more of James and Taylor in the best chapter. As well as a special guest appearance of Parker. :D

Super happy you're enjoying it and I will definitely re-request, I'm loving these reviews!


 Report Review

Review #5, by marauderslover15Define Me: Options

25th August 2014:
Hi again with your requested review! =D

I find it weird that MEN would know if a woman is pregnant. Most men are naive, it would have seem more natural if it was a woman. BUT then again, Mr. Jenkins is old as *(the fiery pits of down under) and would be wise enough especially with 5 kids.

The only warning I could give is you want to make sure your character doesn't turn into a Mary Sue, where everything goes her way. As readers, we heard Taylor make Mr. Jenkins and Mr. Acreman sound like butt holes, but in this chapter they turned around for the better.

Other than that, very great chapter!

P.S.- I love Lottie, especially her name! And she is such a good friend and I hope James somehow makes an appearance soon!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

Mr. Jenkins is a smart man who has seen a lot in his life as well as raised a big family. I saw a movie about a woman with an abusive husband who found herself pregnant due to a drunken night and there was an old man customer who always seemed to know a little more than he should, which is where I gained the inspiration for him. The characters are different but there are similarities as well.

Please don't mark this story as Mary Sue just yet. :p I promise I won't allow that to happen. Mr. Jenkins isn't really a mean man. He's really gruff and insensitive, but flat out mean, he is not. As for her boss, he is not a very nice guy. He just can't fire someone because they're pregnant. It could be different in England, which I should look in to, but I know in America it is not legal to fire someone because they're pregnant. It happens, but is against the law. He didn't just warm his heart, he's just telling her what he feels he has to because he has no good reason to fire her.

I'm really glad you're liking the story so much! I'm loving your reviews a whole bunch!

I love Lottie also, hehe. And thank you, I hoped people would like the name, even though it isn't altogether common to the best of my knowledge.


 Report Review

Review #6, by marauderslover15Define Me: How It All Began

22nd August 2014:
HI! Here again for your requested review.

I have to say, I love flash backs. I find them very fulfilling. It always helps readers understand the background of the story and this chapter did that. I am left wondering about a few minor details though that probably have nothing to do with the bigger plot. For example, why was James in the same town as Taylor?

And when she found out she was pregnant, where was James? In, Hogwarts, I'm guessing? And if he is at Hogwarts, were they staying in contact? Things like that. I still have two more chapter to go so hopefully it will be answered by then...

Secondly, it is refreshing to see something different about a one-night stand rather it being the cause of drunkness. It is different from the usual.

The chemistry between the two just clicked, but sometimes I was left questioning how realistic it was since they were just getting to know each other. But I realized it was a larger time frame that was skimmed through in some parts. This is not a bad thing though as I know the main focus isn't HOW the relationship begin, you just gave readers some background to understand the present story at hand, Taylor being pregnant.

Talking about Taylor, I have to add I so sympathize with her! Drop-out. Working full-time and being mistreated NOW THIS! I hope she will be accepted to the Potter-Weasley clan and truly be loved for once.

Oh and one mistake I noticed, "The good thing about closing up wast" you added the t by mistake when you were writing. Just to let you know, when I notice and point this out, it isn't because I am nit picky, I appreciate when people do it for me so I don't have to be on the search myself HAHA I guess I am lazy.

ANYWAY, another wonderful chapter. And I look forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review!

I myself love flashbacks as well, they clear up a lot! James was staying in a summer home in her town for the summer, with Fred and Teddy.

No, James was not at Hogwarts yet, the school year hadnt started yet. She got pregnant early in the summer and found out at around 6 weeks, and school doesn't begin until Sept. 1. So James is still around. (:

I'm glad you liked the change! It seems like every story like this I read has the pregnancy a result of too much to drink and I thought it was overdone, I wanted something else.

Writing scenes between James and Taylor just flow right, to me. I love writing them. They hadn't known each other but a couple week, which I know is not ideal and could give some readers a bad impression of Taylor. But this isn't a situation of a girl who sleeps around. She has a really tough life, which will be explored a lot more, and she has a lot of hardships and now she meets this seemingly perfect guy who's really nice and it takes her out of that for a while and that led to them getting together which led to pregnancy. James was essentially her escape.

She does have a hard life, no doubt about that. I can't say anything yet though on what happens when she meets the Potter/Weasley clan. No spoilers.

I greatly appreciate the help, I don't catch things like that myself a lot of the time! lol.

Thank you so much for a lovely review, super excited you enjoyed it!


 Report Review

Review #7, by marauderslover15Define Me: Prologue: Positive

18th August 2014:
Here with your requested review! =D

The introduction was a hooker just by the simple word "Once."

You were able to give readers a general idea of the story's basis in one chapter which was really great. Taylor's life just seems miserable especially when adding the pregnancy to her life. Readers can't help BUT to sympathize with her. =( I was surprise to hear she was 16 especially when she is working full-time. I am unsure how things work over there so my shock might be due to culturally differences.

I am really curious to see how Taylor and James happen and hope you do a mini flashback. =)

Also your descriptions are awesome like the crying part. It was creative!

Really strong start to your story!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

I'm really glad you seemed to enjoy it! I wanted to make it different than all the other pregnancy stories, and I think I'm accomplishing that so yay!

Her life is pretty rough, but things will get better eventually.

Chapter two is an entire chapter dedicated to a big flashback so readers can really learn about her history with James and everything. I write long chapters (except for the prologue) so that should be the only flashback chapter needed for the backstory between them.

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it!


 Report Review

Review #8, by marauderslover15A Rollercoaster Ride: Of Birthday Celebrations, Friendly Faces and Tests

18th August 2014:
Here with your requested review =D (sorry it took me so long!)

HERE WE GO.

I love how Lily has support and more so that you had Molly be there. Molly is an underrated character that is barely mentioned compared to Rose, Dom and Lily herself. Also Molly is usually characterized much differently usually like her father Percy. But you claim Molly as your own character, stepping out of the stereotypes fan made for Molly. It is refreshing to see you defining Molly differently.

The birthday scene slightly left me in disbelief. It seemed like Lily forgot her thoughts about being pregnant which I can personally assure you nothing would suppress those fears even presents especially when face with the father who is not even her boyfriend. That scene in my opinion was unrealistic. Hogsmade though you made it more believable especially when she wished on her birthday candles. But throughout the scene, I couldn’t connect with Lily on an emotional level until much later on during the pregnancy test. It was then I understood her feelings of fear and confusion.

One grammar mistake I saw: “I-I don’t want it to be true thought (THOUGH)”

Anyway, I am sure this story will be a success. It is really interesting and I could tell there would be lots of drama that Lily will need to overcome. Great story & chapter.

Author's Response: Hi,

It's fine, sorry it's taken so long to reply!

Lily and Molly are two of my favourite next gen girls along with Rose and Dom. I always see Molly as a bit rebellious but she isn't so much in this, more like her namesake I think. I certainly don't see her like Percy at all which is how I love it! Molly is one of the under loved, maybe that's why I love her so much :p

Having re-read I totally understand and now I've changed it slightly. Lily did have the thoughts still there, they just weren't as prominent at certain times. But I hope now it's been edited that her thoughts and worries are more noticeable.

Sorted that :)

Thank you so much dear!

-Potterfan310









 Report Review

Review #9, by marauderslover15The Underground: Going Up Together; Waking Up Again

4th August 2014:
Really great Draminoe story. I literally have no complaints (which I usually do in a Dramione story). This story was perfect. Well-balanced and I enjoyed every single minute I spent reading this. WONDERFUL!

 Report Review

Review #10, by marauderslover15The Underground: What Humans Do

4th August 2014:
YOU SHOULD FEEL EVIL! UGHRK dngl HERMIONE! I thought they were going to kiss for real, but you surprised me and threw me off when Ron came. GR! I hope things get patched up. =) Great story!

 Report Review

Review #11, by marauderslover15Control: "Actually no- kill Luke Charter. Make sure he dies a painful death before reaching the Hospital Wing. Okay maybe not death, but at least give him a few bruises.” -Gwen Larson

4th August 2014:
Hi again. So sorry this took forever to review. I been in la-la land.

My, my! You have improve a lot. It is less heavy on dialogue and things are getting interesting now with James asking her out. The chapter was a bit long though so I had read it over a couple of days. There were a few grammar mistakes, but easily fixable if you just read it over. Other than that, I was good. =) Keep up the good work. And hope to hear from you again! XOXO

Author's Response: Don't worry about it! I'm really glad you think I have improved. I've been trying my best. I'll edit this chapter soon but at this second I'm feeling kind of lazy so within the next few days haha.

Anyway, thanks for the review c:


 Report Review

Review #12, by marauderslover15The Underground: Remnance

4th August 2014:
This was so heart-felt. You could tell their relationship got stronger. Beautiful!

 Report Review

Review #13, by marauderslover15The Underground: Fade Out

30th July 2014:
The dream was intense! I was left almost speechless. Draco must be hurting and carrying a huge weight on his heart. =( It was short, but thankful I am reading this when it is completed so there is no wait. HAHA. Sad, but great chapter.

 Report Review

Review #14, by marauderslover15The Underground: Darkroom

29th July 2014:
Nightmares hmmm... What about though? That is the mystery I want to find out. Good chapter.

 Report Review

Review #15, by marauderslover15The Underground: Closer

29th July 2014:
I like this chapter the most. I am not into fluff that much, but this was well needed. They are just so cute together, I can't take it!

 Report Review

Review #16, by marauderslover15The Underground: What Humans Feel

29th July 2014:
Perfect chapter and I am loving this preview. Can't wait to read the whole thing which I am by the way now. =D

 Report Review

Review #17, by marauderslover15The Underground: Trouble Sleeping

29th July 2014:
I want more interaction! I am hungry for it! LOL Your progression is great so far! And very true to the characters. You are building them slowly, but surely to grow fond of each other. Can't wait to read more. Onward to the next chapter!

 Report Review

Review #18, by marauderslover15The Underground: Adjustments

29th July 2014:
Aw, poor Draco. I wonder what is wrong with him. I am really looking forward to more interactions between the two. Good chapter.

 Report Review

Review #19, by marauderslover15The Underground: Waking Up

29th July 2014:
I didn't think this was boring. You have such a wonderful idea here and I cannot wait for it to play out =)

 Report Review

Review #20, by marauderslover15The Mysterious Diary: Chapter 21

23rd July 2014:
AWESOME! I loved this so much! This was just---AH wonderful! Favoriting as we speak! 110/10

 Report Review

Review #21, by marauderslover15Married By Mistake: Too many ‘girl’ friends

23rd July 2014:
Hi, so this is my second time reading this. But I have to say I give up. I love your idea. I think Draco & Noel are such sweethearts and I thoroughly enjoy the two, but my patience with Hermione thinned out. She is very OOC and not in a good way either. She is outright mean & has an unbearable attitude. Also very shallow and look-oriented. She is not the Hermione we grew up with in the books and that we came to love. I am sure there is a reason behind her change. But I have little patience for her. Maybe when I regain patience, I can continue to read & I really hope that I can b/c I am sure things do get better.

 Report Review

Review #22, by marauderslover15Simply Irresistible: Finding Out

18th July 2014:
Ha, I hope Draco becomes jealous of Blaise. BUT I want to know how Ron will react. GREAT CHAPTER AGAIN!

 Report Review

Review #23, by marauderslover15Simply Irresistible: Who's that Girl

18th July 2014:
I LOVE IT ! *sings iconic pop chorus* Yes, shove it RON! HAHA great chapter. Although I am surprised Ron was still alive, I thought Molly would have killed him. lol

 Report Review

Review #24, by marauderslover15Simply Irresistible: Gustav

18th July 2014:
They are both too funny & clever. YES PLEASE DYE IT GREEN THAT WITCH or another word that rhymes with that. LOL Love this chapter.

 Report Review

Review #25, by marauderslover15Simply Irresistible: Shopping with Draco Malfoy... Oh the Joy

18th July 2014:
Oh my MERLIN! Is that Draco getting jealous and I LOLed with Gustav changed his accent.Even I was like WAH lol GREAT CHAPTER!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>