Reading Reviews From Member: the5thmarauder
  
121 Reviews Found

Review #1, by the5thmarauderForever Changed: Telling Everything

4th August 2005:
oh my goodness that was mazing, they both were, sorry I havent been on here in such a long while, I have had tons to do and fnafiction just isnt the same since the launch of HBP, sorry for not being completely loyal but this is fantastic, I love it!

Author's Response: Yeah, I know what you mean. I have restricted from the internet for awhile because I am on the computer too much otherwise I would have put so many up by now. But now that I have my laptop from school there will be plenty of updates.^^ I'm so happy to be back^^ (How has KISS been going? Any new memebers?)

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Review #2, by the5thmarauderForever Changed: Harry’s Destiny

22nd June 2005:
That was fantastic iit makes me proud to be a member of KISS. I loved it and I totally understand her logic about Harry and loving him more by overcoming obstacles out of her control, it is true and it does make a relationship a hell of a lot stronger, I wonder what the blackness and darkness was about will we find out soon? Hope so, this fic is so amazing !

Author's Response: Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. I didn't think anyone would understand what I was trying to say. It does, doesn't it? Yes, you will find out all about it in the next chapter. There will also be a few surprises. Thanks, I'm glad you think so. I love writing it!^^

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Review #3, by the5thmarauderFreya: ...It's Who You Know.

18th June 2005:
This was great once more, I loved her leaving line Obviously I do not have any friends in this crowd.” It is nice to see someone finally showing the trio will sacrifice anyone else for the safety of their members, even if it goes against their beliefs. It makes for good reading!

I liked the way you wrote Luna, it was so IC. She was kind of funny as well, I could understand why Freya was angered. I am liking this at the minute, but I don't have much time left to read it so I better get on!

Author's Response: Like I have said before, I try to keep things as much in cannon as I can, I know I am going to be in a pickle when I have read HBP...

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Review #4, by the5thmarauderFreya: Abrupt Departure.

18th June 2005:
I thought this chapter was good. I like the character Elliot Zabini, he seems quite well rounded and very un-Gary-stu so that is all good. I like the way you show us that they are going off to a D.A. meeting without letting her in on the secret. It was done very well and I thought it was good story-telling.

I thought the characterisation of Ginny over Lupin was great and it showed how the Gryffindors react when they are faced with criticism of their own kind.

You do need to go through this chapter and the last one to check for where you are putting the code < br> it isn't necessary in many of the places and merely needs a slight check, this is crucial in making your story flow and easy to read.

I did think the putting trust in the wrong people was a good thing and I think it might be foreshadowing something else, I may be wrong so I will leave it. Oh and I would like to say I'm glad you haven't had her getting loved up with Harry yet, or ever, it is so cliched and you have developed your story enough so that if it did ever happen it would be plausable! Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you... and I can already say that Harry will not ever be a love interest! In my plot that just wouldn't work... and I am kind of against the whole "it is all about the romance"-thing I like fanfic. to be as much cannon as posible and well, I don't see JKR making all of it about love and relationships all of a suddan... (thanks for the heads up about the spacing, I will look in to it when I have the chance...)

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Review #5, by the5thmarauderFreya: You Have the Right to Remain Silent.

18th June 2005:
I thought this chapter was brilliant! I loved the introduction of Professor Jordan, still don't entirely understand how he could be a student at the school for the past seven years but attended 10 years ago, but hey it doesn't really matter. Unless he is refering to the fact he attended the full seven years?

I liked the conversation about war being a concept as opposed to a concept. It is an interesting idea, slightly hard to comprehend. I think it is suggesting that there is an emotion behind war?

I am off to read the next chapter. Sorry this review isn't very long but when there isn't anything to critiscise they generally aren't.

Author's Response: It's ok, I trust you will be honest if you do have something to say! Professor Jordan did refer to the fact that he had attended a full seven years, Freya was just confused!

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Review #6, by the5thmarauderFreya: What Is To Come.

18th June 2005:
I really think this story is getting better and better. I love the fact that you are keeping the exact details of what is contained in the book a secret, it makes me want to read more and more! I can't wait for the next chapter.

I didn't see any grammatical or spelling errors in this chapter so that is always good to see. I feel as though your fic is moving alot faster and the pace is picking up a bit more. I am going on to find out whether she speaks to Dumbledore, great chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you.. I am glad you like it thus far!

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Review #7, by the5thmarauderFreya: Love and War.

18th June 2005:
I liked this chapter, I thought the characterisation of Ron and Ginny once more was excellent, they were both in canon and you seem to have the ability to keep them that way. That is very, very, very rare in fanfiction so well done!

I love the use of over languages in this fic aswell it gives it a slight edge, I think it is really great that you are including stuff like this, it is a great idea for fics everywhere! Well done!

I find the use of a myth/ ancestrial heritage very intriguing and I can't wait to read it further. I do, however, think that her being the first girl in many centuries is too much like Ginny for my liking, I hope it doesn't affect the story too much her being the only girl but I think there would have been a better way of bringing her inheriting the powers in the sight. An example would be merely a prophecy describing her as the person who would be the next seer, the next girl is just a bit too Ginny-ish for me. Sorry, I do try to be honest. I do think this will turn out to be a very interesting story with this kind of stuff included, so kudos to you!

I don't want to insult your betas but this line just doesn't look right, I may be wrong, just have a look over it or something, She barely remembered anything of the start of term meal or Dumbledore's speech; but one thing she did remember was his lack of introducing a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. I just think the use of a semi-colon is wrong, maybe a comma. Also you mispelt "Ravenclaw", you spelt it "Rawenclaw", I know it is a typo but it won't take a second to correct so I thought I would just say it. Also It was her family's Raven, Mia. the Raven should be raven with a lowercase 'r'.

Other than that it is simply fantastic and read over my postive comments to see what I mean. Just so you know this review may seem harsh but I try and have an equilibrium between the good and the bad points just to help people improve. :)

Author's Response: I love it when people are honest, and I prefer it! It helps me improve, even if there are some things that I don't agree with! I'll ask my betas about the sentence... Urgh.. I hate typo's they are so stupid... Thank you for mentioning it! About the Ginny thing.. well I have never thought of her as the first girl in a long time, only as the first girl in this "small" family... Arthur could have sisters... I know that this could have been done with a prophecy, but I think those are rare, and I would like to make Harry staand out as much as possible because of that...

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Review #8, by the5thmarauderFreya: A New Beginning

18th June 2005:
I really liked this chapter. I loved the pacing and the immediate explanation of where she was from and how she "sat alone". I think the use of the German word for dogs was good a subtle way of using another language to make the animal seem magical.

I must be honest and say I was worried when you said she had been given special permission to have the dog, I think at that point you hadn't explained he was magical, that was probably why. It set the "special" Mary-Sue alarms off, but you rescued it with the explanation of the magical abilities the "Hunds" pocess.

I thought the characterisation of Harry was terrific, he seemed really normal and down to earth Harry. I also thought the reaction of Freya as an outsider to the "Golden Trio" was good in response to the entrance of Hermione and Ron.

The only problem I saw with the plot was the reason for her parents not being there. Surely, if they are adults, they would be able to apparate whilst she took a portkey? I don't know it was just something that cropped up. Also for a moment there at the beginning when it says She wasn’t a little kid anymore, and in her third year at Hogwarts the Danish Ministry of Magic I got a little confused as I thought she was a fifth year which is explained later, it just seems to be a bit of a random reference and it made me wonder is she a fifth year or a third year. Those are the only constructive crits I have for this chapter, which is a very little number so, WELL DONE!

Author's Response: Thank you for the thought out review! I haven't thought about the apparation... I'll have to look in to that! The point about the whole 5th year/ 3rd year thing, was that the first time she did it alone was in her 3rd year... now she is in her 5th! Thank you!

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Review #9, by the5thmarauderTill Death Do Us Part: Forever and Ever

17th June 2005:
I liked this chapter on the whole it was good. I liked the way you made the wedding realistic wiht her once again having short flashbacks as opposed to really long ones I have given you my opinion on those before and I am glad you have kept going along the same thread.

A couple of constructive crits are I mean you would think it’s there wedding it should be theirs I know it is only a typo but it was distracting. The other was the listing of the vows, I think that it was too much and that it was just uneccessary, I mean we all know what a muggle wedding is like and that those vows are spoken. You could say something like The vows were spoken or use the first line of the first vow and then say something like how much time transpired and the emotions of the two whilst they were speaking there vows. Overall well done!

Author's Response: sorry you didn't like the vows, after i looked back on it i realized it was kind of much to put in there, maybe just had one person say them and then the feelings as they were saying them, i don't know...lol thanks for reviewing though, and i changed that theirs for yuo! its nice to know i have fans other than hpsmartone32...lol...thanks for reading!

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Review #10, by the5thmarauderA Red and Black Sky: A Friend's View

17th June 2005:
Oh my gosh that was so beautiful! I loved the part with Ron at the bottom so many different points of views all so well woven! I loved it! I though the section with Sirius thinking Jess couldn't be in charge was very funny.

I think you have chosen two eras which can present the perfect balance, the angst of the HP era and the relative jolity of the marauders ere, it has the combination of the two without leaving either emotion lingering unbalanced in the story. Good Job!

Did you really name that character after me btw, I feel so honoured =D!

Author's Response: You took your time, your usually the 1st to review! :P hehe yes jess is your character haha, I'm sure you'll like what is to come for her! Do you remember me asking you a-g-e-s ago???? like in your battle fic? I'm glad you liked the Ron bit, as I thought it felt out of place!!!! Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #11, by the5thmarauderStolen Away: Stolen Away

16th June 2005:
Ok, I think the plot behind this story is great and the message you are trying to put across is really believable but I think there were a lot of silly mistakes, mainly typos which were distracting from the story and the general flow. I think, perhaps, this needs a beta. My first stories which don't have betas are really rubbish compared to my later ones which have the constructive opinion of someone wiser and generally better than me. I am terrible at grammar but there were some sentences in this one where I picked up on some of the mistakes, the story is so great and has such a brilliant portrayal of the horrendous trauma Ginny would feel that the lack of grammatic preciseness doesn't create a huge problem.

The only suggestion I have is get a beta and that is it, to be honest! Great fic and well done! ~ the5thmarauder

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Review #12, by the5thmarauderAisya: Epilogue

15th June 2005:
That was really groovy, I love this fic, I think it is amazing and you should be really proud, well done!

Author's Response: Groovy... I always like when people like things I've done

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Review #13, by the5thmarauderForever Changed: No Turning Back

15th June 2005:
How about this we shall be the Kathryn Is Stupendous Society , KISS for short. We should start straight away, now we will be joint presidents but we need to enrole more members! EYES OPEN EVERYBODY, ALL THOSE WHO WANT TO JOIN KISS SHOULD LEAVE A LONG REVIEW AND THEN YOU CAN JOIN! :) I expect alot of reviews!

Author's Response: O.O Wow. My story has inspired a society. Wow. I'm honored. I don't think you'll get very many reviews though. MOst of my reviews are from you two. I have had a fair few from others, so maybe. Good uck with it.

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Review #14, by the5thmarauderForever Changed: The Truth

14th June 2005:
Well, we weren't arguing persay, merely expressing how we are in agreement that your fic is something to be valued.

We definitely aren't going to have an arguement about who loves your fic the most, since it is so obviously me, lol!

Author's Response: *raises eyebrow* Really, hmmm..... Well I haven't even read my other reviews yet, but I know an argument is going to come from this. LOL. I'm glad you think its something to be valued.

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Review #15, by the5thmarauderTwinlings: Switched

13th June 2005:
I just read the question you put forward to Jane Potter, the point of fanfic is to make a story as you see fit, just in general characters in the book should be written in canon, or you might aswell write your own story, with your own scene and characters. The point of fanfic is the paly, triffle in the world which we all love to one extent or another - The Potterverse. just a response to your question, better not say much more here or it will become a conversation, lol. :)

Author's Response: i'm glad you agree!

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Review #16, by the5thmarauderTwinlings: Like A Sister

13th June 2005:
I liked it, I still think it was a tinsy bit short though. I think you need to also make sure that you don't have Ron moving too fast with Hope, she has known him barely a day, well barely 6 hours she would probs not be kissing him lovingly in the corridor in such a comfortable manner, that comes after at the minimum a couple of weeks. Also try not to rush the whole Harry thing aswell, maybe make it more gradual. Also try to make the chapters longer, you have a great writing talent, I would love o read longer chapters of it.


Now, for the good stuff, I liked the way you had her make that funny little comment on how she now basically had a new family, it made me chuckle a bit. I also liked the bit about Harry and Sirius, it was very well done and sensitively too. I also thought the grammar once more was excellent! Well done, and please update soon.

Author's Response: thank you, thank you, thank you!! the ron thing has to be done a little quickly, but i suppose it should go a little slower. there are more relationship issues as the story progresses and HUGE repercussions

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Review #17, by the5thmarauderTwinlings: Shock and Trauma (also titled "Snape")

13th June 2005:
Great chapter, I thought Snape was slightly out of character but I don't think it really mattered, since the rest of the characters were IC, great job!

Author's Response: thanks! i really enjoy the books, even though some ppl think harry's a little angsty, but i was going for that!

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Review #18, by the5thmarauderTwinlings: Coincidentally (or not)

13th June 2005:
oh angsty, I like it, I like it lots, what a clever way to bring in Lily II creator!

Author's Response: "Lily II creator"? lily is important to snape, very important but it's not in the usual way

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Review #19, by the5thmarauderTwinlings: Reactions

13th June 2005:
I like it, so many plot lines it is turning out to be a classier version of a Harry Potter soap opera.

Author's Response: thanks! i think...

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Review #20, by the5thmarauderTwinlings: Hogwarts Express

13th June 2005:
great chapter, I liked the view of Harry and how it was a bit longer, great job!

Author's Response: yeah. i'm trying to work on that. i have a tendency to write short chapters and post 2-3 at a time. (see answer to Kyleigh's review below)

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Review #21, by the5thmarauderTwinlings: Meeting Godfather

13th June 2005:
Oh she is a searcher of information putting that above anything else, great name to pick for her, one critisism you might want to make the chapters slightly longer, they all have amazing grammar, but it would be nicer to have more to read at once, this is only the second chapter though so they might be longer, again off to read the next one.

Author's Response: in the beginning, when this was still an idea in my diary, i imagined Hope as a Ravenclaw. Then i realized, there was no good way for her to meet the Trio and form a good close bond. i guess i subconsciously still consider her a Ravenclaw.

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Review #22, by the5thmarauderTwinlings: Switched

13th June 2005:
Oh, that was really good, finally an original take on the twin thing. Rowanwoods bears some simalarity to the wiccan clan rowanwands, they were supposed to be searchers of knowledge, kind of like Ravenclaws. I read it in a book somewhere, they were supposed to not choose sides and were above that and merely pursued the search for knowledge, I wonder if it had a bearing on this story? he he he, it looks extremely interesting thus far *scampers off to next chapter* toodle pip!

Author's Response: wow! i'm really flattered! you're one of the authors who i routinely check up on, so this is pretty cool! um, actually no. rowan is the type of wood that harry is (according to JKR). i wanted something like that, but "Hope Rowan" sounded weird. so i added a "-wood"...

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Review #23, by the5thmarauderJust Like a Rose: Boredom

9th June 2005:
Sorry just reiterate - I LOVE THIS FIC!

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Review #24, by the5thmarauderForever Changed: Start of Holidays

7th June 2005:
That was really good I loved it! It was so funny the Ron and Hermione getting caught bit, that was hilarious, I have a feeling she is beginning to think about not killing Harry, YEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! Update soon from your most devoted reader ~ the5thmarauder

Author's Response: lol ~I'm going to put one up today. It will probably take a few days to get up though. I hope your happy with it. ~lol~ I will try to update more often. My mum hasn't let me get on in THREE days. I thought I might have died. lol

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Review #25, by the5thmarauderPrisoners of Emotion: Helia Lovegood, Snape and Ghost Charms

2nd June 2005:
I loved this chapter, your writing is getting better and better, this was much more in depth, is Harry with Luna? He is just pretending with Gin, isn't he? Are Ron and Hermione going to get together, please say yes, please say yes!

Author's Response: No Harry is not with Luna...well yet anywayz ;)!!! And will pretending with Ginny turn into anything more?? hmmmmmmmmmm!! Rona and Hermione are just friends atm!!! I spent ages thinkinng how to get that message across at the end of the last chapter, it didn't work though! :( oh well thanks for the lovely review!!!

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