Reading Reviews From Member: Rumpelstiltskin
  
540 Reviews Found

Review #1, by RumpelstiltskinGetting Out Alive: My Life (An Example of Disaster)

11th February 2015:
Ooh boy.

With Ash and Hudson having their little...whatever you'd call it (hate-hate relationship?), poor Jay must be loosing her mind. That has to be a tough friendship to balance (well, rather, two individual friendships and a rivalry). I like that aspect a lot, though, and I think adding it in is giving this story an extra special flare.

I really just adore the quirky inner monologue ("He's proud of himself for the comment. Seriously proud of himself. I can tell he's rewarding himself in his mind"), and I love Jay's character. She's just so spunky.

Aha, the arrival of the handsome Dalton, boyfriend ;). *cough* Just speculation, here, but Dalton doesn't seem like he's all that terrific of a guy (you know, short of being handsome). Unlike the BFF Hudson, Dalton doesn't seem to know anything about Jay, really. O.o AND he totally avoided the whole visiting her over break thing...just saying. :D

(Just as a side note, I woke the baby up giggling over "“I find you sexually appealing. Hudson is into cats.”" bahaha)

Anyhow. Well, in the very least, Dalton isn't a complete jerk ^.^ what with the hug (at least for now, I'm not sure which direction he's going to take yet...I'll just have to wait and see).

Okay, yeah, Hudson deserves to be hit...so, go for it (that's what Ash was really saying ;) ), haha.

Great chapter, Mae!

-Rumpel

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Review #2, by RumpelstiltskinThe Worst: More Bad News

4th February 2015:
Hey there!

This is an excellent chapter! You've described Dominique's sufferings beautifully, and I wasn't certain that suffering could be beautiful. Of course, it's understandable that she's dealing with an enormous amount of complex feelings that are making her push people away from her, but she really does need somebody at the moment to help her deal. Which is why it's fantastic that Teddy's around -- no matter what :D.

Hopefully she's able to open the lines of communication between herself and her mother and sister again. And, that's absolutely true, having to continue to write that article is completely unfair! The amount of emotional distress it will have on Dom is reason enough for not having to do it, but, no, they just want the stupid story *twitch*. (Sorry, got carried away there.)

It's also absolutely freaking devastating to hear that she can't have children because of her condition. I never thought of Lycanthropy like that for females, where the process would interrupt the ability to bear children. It's a clever and heartbreaking twist on your story!

The decision? Oh man...that's a mean place to leave off a chapter! I'll try very hard to squeeze another review in before the day is up!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I am happy you liked this chapter and found my description and all good. Teddy is just amazing, isn't he.

Yeah I know, I'm kinda mean to put Dom through so much stress but hey it's not called The Worst for nothing xP

Thank you so much for your wonderful comments!


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Review #3, by Rumpelstiltskin'Bring a Muggle to School' Day: 'Bring a Muggle to School' Day

26th January 2015:
I happened to stumble across this while looking for something and absolutely had to read it! I found the entire ordeal hilarious. My favorite part though was when Fred and George realized that Melina had made the entire thing up, and they were still towing captive muggles to Hogwats. :)

McGonagall is going to have their heads!

Thanks for a good laugh!

Rumpel

Author's Response: Haha, you're very welcome! And thanks so much for the surprise review! This story turned out a lot funnier than I thought it would be, sometimes I'm surprised I'm the one who wrote it because it still makes ME laugh whenever I deign to reread my own work. But it's definitely one of my favorites!

xxNix


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Review #4, by RumpelstiltskinLike a House on Fire: What an Idiot

26th January 2015:
Oh my gosh! The end is nigh! *Deep breath*

Sirius in the sunlight. My inner fangirl may or may not be drooling slightly. *Cough* Anyway, his peculiarity (you know, poking Millie to make sure that he wasn't hallucinating, and then trying to explain himself after) makes him even more fantastic, as Millie said. Well, she didn't call him fantastic, that would've just gone to his head anyway.

" “Why didn’t you ever tell me you were an Animagus?”" --Yeah, Sirius. Explain yourself. Or play dumb *sigh*. Silly boy.

Aha, Padfoot the dog is still an idiot ;), but a lovable idiot, of course. And Sirius does have a point, when Millie didn't want him around, she was typically okay with Padfoot being there.

...and then with the I love you and the kisses and the strange thermal underwear analogy! I love the two of them! And I can't believe that it's over!

How do you feel now?

I'm feeling a bit bittersweet, haha! It was a great ending, though!

Now, where's the sequel? Haha ;)

-Rumpel

Author's Response: WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS. DON'T WORRY.

He probably glowed or something. I can imagine Sirius doing that without meaning to. He's just that good-looking. Millie loves him for all his weirdness. As do we.

Sirius was coming from a good place here. He didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to give up Remus' secret. Goodness. His loyalty is going to be the death of him someday. Oh, wait... I think I just made myself sad :(

It is my opinion that all dogs are loveable idiots. It's just the way dogs are. And the reason Sirius did this in the first place is to be closer to her, and to get her to open up in ways that she wouldn't to anyone, not specifically him.

And the ship has finally, for real, sailed! And it only took thirty-nine chapters. Woohoo!

I think that's what I'm feeling too. I'm very relieved to have finally completed this, but also I'm sad to see it done. This was my first fanfic. It holds a special place in my heart. The things that I've learnt over the course of writing this... Sigh. It's been fun.

And concerning the sequel... there might be one, but it'll be a little different to what sequels traditionally are. I think I may rewrite this as an AU of some sort and then continue the story on from there. But who knows?

Thanks so much for all your love and support, Rumpel! It means a lot ^.^ *hugs*


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Review #5, by RumpelstiltskinLike a House on Fire: Home

26th January 2015:
I'm terrible with reading the end of stories, and I tend to procrastinate, which is one of the reasons I've been avoiding it. If I don't read the end, then it doesn't end :D. However, it's time to take my big girl pill and *gulp* accept that one of the first stories I started reading when I joined is now ending.

Nostalgia at its finest. I don't blame her, it's sort of heartbreaking looking back at the beginning, knowing it all will end. Also, I find Remus' statement (Hogwarts is home) very true. It can feel even more true with the weight of Voldemort's uprising looming over you upon graduation, knowing that you'll never be quite as safe as you have been at Hogwarts (home).

Heh. Everybody knows she was thinking about snogging Sirius ;). I love his trepidation when he feels like he can't talk to her without the chocolate frogs. Those two are impossible. I want to shake them sometimes, but at least they're talking.

Oh feelings... Hey, at least he's not beating-around-the-bush with this feelings now! Perhaps there will be some progress! *Crosses fingers*

Hooray! Well, sort of. Starting over seems like a few steps backwards, but, in the very least, it can provide a clean state with which to NOT GO KISSING OTHER GIRLS (*grumble* Sirius *grumble*). Logically, I can understand Millie's hesitation. Sirius broke her heart; how is she supposed to trust him? On the other hand, I've been rooting for this ship to sail!

And yes, Sirius is absolutely endearing in this chapter. How could she not love him (you know, besides the being an idiotic idiot thing).

-Rumpel

Author's Response: I'm the same! I haven't finished reading books for similar reasons. And I did procrastinate writing the end... because it's finally over :(

I was feeling nostalgic about the end, and that translated into my writing. My characters and I are all growing up, and we're all letting go of something that's been part of our lives for a very long time. Remus' line about Hogwarts always being home is a big nod to that feeling, too. It'll always be here - for all of us.

Hahaha! As long as Sirius doesn't know, right? That's all that matters, because that's very awkward. So much of their wariness of each other arises from the complete lack of open communication between them for most of their relationship. But yes. These two. So oblivious sometimes.

It's the second-last chapter - if there's going to be progress at any point in this story, it should be now.

I don't think they can start over. It's a lovely sentiment on Sirius' part but Millie's reluctance to start over completely comes from that. And Sirius' "slip-up" is an excellent example of this. They've been through too much together. You can't just forget all of that, because along with all the bad stuff, there's a lot of good stuff too.

And Sirius has that effect, doesn't he? One can't help but love him...


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Review #6, by RumpelstiltskinTrue Romance: A Satisfied Mind

17th January 2015:
It takes me one to two days to write a review now, and my fiance keeps exiting out of my webpage, even though we each have our own computer, and this is the third time I'm writing this review! *Twitch, twitch*

Anyway, HOW COULD YOU?! YOU MUST HATE ME! I knew something bad would happen...but Arthur? *Cries* Poor Molly :(

Or, maybe we should start at the beginning. I love the idea of Scorp and Rose hanging out, the GBF thing should totally happen. Just saying. I think that the wedding will be much more enjoyable if they went together -- or I hope... I never know with you. You'll probably have something explode at the wedding, killing the pair of them. *Cough* Or I'm overacting.

I can definitely see Harry hiring assassin aurors to defend his daughter's virtue (though I don't mean that as literally as it sounds *cough*). Feeding him may help ;). And, hahahaha, "Great job." That was fantastic, I chuckle every time I read it :D.

Now, the part that had me laughing out loud like a crazy person, of course, was James' inquiry on when the baby is due, and Archie's complete nervous break-down that was about to happen if Lily hadn't reassured him that there was no secret pregnancy. I don't think he's quite ready to be a father. But the Lily-Ginny scene that followed was sweet.

Now, this scene. I just... wasn't expecting it. It was just a lovely scene, with Al reflecting on how much his grandparent's love each other, and Arthur taking little Cora to the garden...and...it was even more heartbreaking to reread, knowing what was happening...

And, every time I read it, it makes me cry, because...it's just so SAD, ROSE!! STOP MAKING ME CRY! :(

At least, I know that Arthur led a full life, with a loving wife who he loved just as much in return, and a GIANT family who all loved him too...

*deep breath*

Okay. PROMISE ME...PROMISE ME that the next chapters won't make me cry as much as this one did. OKAY?

:D :( :D

Rumpel

Author's Response: Oh wow. I would have had harsh words about the closing of tabs.

I DON'T HATE YOU. I LOVE YOU TIMES A THOUSAND (maybe you'd cry less if I didn't love you so much).

Scorpius and Rose are gbff forever. I will promise that there are no bombs at the wedding. They do have fun together :D

Hahaha, I got what you were laying down and that's more of a figurative job than a literal one. My dad inspired the good job statement. He was equally eloquent during my first wedding.

I do take pride in making you look slightly crazy one chapter at a time. Archie was very unprepared for the pregnancy comment. I did like showing Ginny being close to Lily.

I... Don't have any excuses for what I did next. It was part of me just throwing in some real life for the family to deal with and part me expressing my own loss with a family member.

No one dies in the next chapter but it might make you cry.

Thank you for your awesome review!


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Review #7, by RumpelstiltskinKaleidoscope Love: Oh Comely

15th January 2015:
This! I freaking love this!

First, let me start with this sentence -- "“My jokes are dreadful and you aren’t giving out free hugs.”" That stereotyped sentence about Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs made my entire week, you have no idea. I laughed over that for a good 10 minutes, and remembering still makes me chuckle. My fiance is going to send the men in the white clothes to take me away :D.

*Cough* Anyway, the story itself is very well written, and I love the minor character, slash story arch. Anthony's shy interest in Ernie that blossomed into a fantastic friendship -- and, eventually, a romantic relationship -- was absolutely lovely. Their discussions and reflections on what their futures would hold in the wake of the war gave the story a somber air, where the heaviness of uncertainty really messed with me. I wasn't sure what the end would hold for them -- grief and despair or happiness.

One of my favorite parts was when Anthony escapes the Carrows, and flees to the Room of Requirement. The way you described the dreamlike-quality of Anthony's journey through the sea of his concerned classmates, straight to Ernie, to lead to a first kiss, as if nothing in the world could matter more, was absolutely beautiful (and, as written, "It was the perfect crime").

The ending was, of course, fantastic. I'm a sucker for happy endings, and, I'll admit it, it made me tear up a bit. I'd like to hug this story and never let go ^.^.

Great job!

-Rumpel

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Review #8, by RumpelstiltskinThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Spontaneous Combustion of Dairy Products: A Prologue

13th January 2015:
Hey there! I'm here for the January Slytherin review exchange!

I really just love the beginning of this. The originality is really just refreshing. I love the angle of her parents being scientists, and being utterly perplexed by Annett's special abilities. Her personality is also fantastic, due to her upbringing.

Teddy on the Welcoming Committee was refreshing to see, as well. I think that, with the personality that you've given him, being a part of the Welcoming Committee is a fantastic position for him.

Oh, the Wotter clan... that's a clever moniker ;). Poor Annett, being an introvert certainly doesn't help when under the speculation of said Wotter clan. I loved the way you set up the anticipation of the group of Potter-Weasley's finding the compartment that Annett and Scorpius were in. The sense of anticipation was fantastic.

You tied the mention of Daisy and Dahlia at the beginning of the story in nicely, as Annett discovers them on the train. And, goodness, those girls are noisy.

I think that Slytherin was a good choice for her -- I had an inkling that she'd be in either Ravenclaw or Slytherin -- and I liked that Albus is there with Scorpius and herself.

To be honest, I tend to shy away from Next Generation still, but this is absolutely fantastic. Between the quality of the writing, the interesting main character, and a story that has made me laugh out loud more than once, I think you have something great going on here. I can't wait to read more!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hey Rumpel!

D'Awww, thank you!! Thank means so much to me that you think that of Annett! Bahh, you spoil me with your compliments.

I'm super happy to see that you like Teddy! He's so fun to write.

The Wotter clan. . . Wot a clan. I'm expecting absolute silence for this terrible pun.

The train scene. Oh dear, I wrote that in a mad rage of typing one day. And Dahlia and Daisy seemed like a good way to really bring out Annett's personality.

Ah they'll be a very Slytherin little bunch!

Aww, THANK YOU SO MUCH, RUMPEL! You're too kind!!! :D [hugs]

Cheers,
Em


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Review #9, by RumpelstiltskinTetraphobia: The three stages

11th January 2015:
Hello!!

Ah! I loved this! I love that, with each new phobia, Hermione's state of mental well-being is declining more and more. The phobias are literally destroying her, causing her to become paranoid and unhealthy. Her response to each one of the phobias is absolutely fantastic, having the perfect balance of realism mixed with aspects of 'the horrific'.

One of my favorite aspects of this is that her fears absolutely consume her, keeping her from living normally. I mean, after facing what she had in the war, it's really no wonder that she would become paranoid, and start developing phobias (and if not her, others would have suffered some mental issues as well). I don't think that this aspect is brought up enough in post-war stories, which is what really made this story stand out.

YOU CANNOT END THIS HERE! That! That...is a cliffhanger! I need to know if Hermione is hallucinating due to her extreme stress brought on by her phobias, or if there is something else going on! I would love to see another chapter of this, because this is really great!

Loved it!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hi Rumpel!

I am so glad you liked this! I had this on my laptop for quite some time, before handing it to a beta-reader. The timing was actually perfect, for the Slytherin Writing Challenge started and this story fell perfectly for Prompt 2.

Yes, I've noticed that it's something we writers sometimes overlook/forget, how the war affected them. They were on the run for a long time, and were close to death several times. It would be absolutely normal for them to get post-war traumatizes.

I WON'T END IT HERE. I promise! Because of your and the other's wonderful reviews, I've decided to change this into a Short Story instead of a one-shot! Yay. Now I just have to write the second chapter, I'll probably start on it by the end of February.

Thank you so much for your review! I loved it.

- Avi


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Review #10, by RumpelstiltskinGetting Out Alive: Buttered Tea (An Example of Distraction)

10th January 2015:
Hey Mae!!

First of all, I love the way you use Jay's inner monologue to progress the plot line. Also, I love the WAY it progresses, giving bits and pieces of Jay's characterization (as well as insights into her mother, Ash, and Hudson's personalities as well) without interrupting the flow. I think what makes it even more impressive is that you've broken all of that information up with amusing portions if text (of buttered tea, almost-beards, and Hanukkah) and more serious bits of text (about her mother and 'father' and why the male counterpart isn't in the picture anymore) all while feeding the reader more and more information. Clever, Mae! ;) But, that's why you're a Slytherin.

You've nailed the teenage antics and concerns (you know, of exams -- and having to scrub toilets or become a stripper if you've failed -- and of rough relationships with parents). I adore the friendship between Jay and Hudson, and I'm a bit curious about Jay's boyfriend, as he was only mildly mentioned ;P.

As for quality, you've done a great job! This was easy and fun to read and I'd like to read more! Jay seems cheeky and a bit insane (in the best way possible), and I really just love her!

I'll try to get to the next chapter soon!

Until then,
Rumpel!

Author's Response: Rumpel, you are far too kind! :3

I struggled with deciding how to tell this story. If I wanted it in first, second, third and the such. But I'm glad I went this way because it does help tell more story, without having to tell more story. So I'm glad I made the right choice there :3. Never thought of it being an example of my House though! Yay! It's in my Slytherin blood! :D

I actually had to go back and add that part in because it was so bland in the first place! Then I thought of Hudson's dad saying hags are strippers and I couldn't resist! So I had her worry about them a little more! :) As for Dalton, I promise there's more of him in future-ish chapters! :D I just love Hudson too much. I wish he were my best friend!

Thank you so much, dear! This really was such a treat to come and see after coming home! I'm so glad that you liked it and might even stick around for some more! As for now, I have chapter four in the works, but also a few other chores around the forum ;). Just thank you so much for the lovely gift!


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Review #11, by RumpelstiltskinTrue Romance: There Goes the Fear

9th January 2015:
Must. Read. TrueRomance!

*Cough*

Aww, I think that it's sweet that Lysander has a crush on Lily ^.^. I just love Luna, how could you not? She's just so...eccentric! The whole family seems like a fun bunch, though...I'd love to have them over for wine.

Oh no! *Covers eyes* James! (This sooo better not be the sad part that you're talking about!!) Oh phew. Okay. No yelling yet.

Bahaha, Rose (erm, not you, the Weasley)...yeah, it's totally cool to preform spells on humans because they've been cat-tested. Pfft, it's fiiinee!! ;) I do love Rose in this, she's pretty fantastic.

International experience? Oh Rose, no worries...you'll find love someday (and, you know, there's always the bartender in Spain) ;). It must be terrible confusing to you when I speak to Rose, your character, and not Rose, you...erm... Ah, Rose, you have to stop writing characters with your name!

Ouch! Her boss wants Lily only for her name and connections (or find a job elsewhere)? That's terrible, poor Lily! Good for her, though...I would've told him where to shove his "You’re not witless enough to think it was to grow your skill" too. Grrr..now *I'm* angry!

AHH!! Archie proposed!! ♥ ! Hooray! *Hugs story*

Aww, at least Corbin understands that Scorpius isn't ready to up-and-leave to Paris! And, woah boy...warmness *blushes*. D'aww, those two go at it like bunnies ^.^. You finish what you started, Scorp, you finish what you started... haha ;).

Ahh, it's been so long, I think that I almost forgot how much I love your writing! I'll get caught up here eventually!!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: I'M SO EXCITED THAT YOU WERE HERE AND REVIEWED!!

Lorcan has the crush (I had to re-read to check that I got that right) but it is adorable!! I will see about arranging time for them to visit you (I'll be wtih them disguised as Rolf).

-.- you'll be yelling at me sooner or later

Rose doesn't believe is testing spells - straight to use on the pregnant ladies!!!

Well, she had some international snogging not too far back. It's not terribly confusing unless someone says they're mad at Rose as I tend to also make people mad with my writing.

Her boss is quite the jerk. I thought she'd definitely have her parents' courage when it came to standing up for herself. *hides* Don't be angry with me

yay! someone liked that they got engaged.

your comments here have put a grin on my face every time I've read them. um, yes, they got a bit warm and Scorpius did finish what he started. It was off screen because rules.

YOU HAVE TO GET CAUGHT UP. I'M ALMOST DONE WRITING.

thank you for a fab review! I've missed you

-rose


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Review #12, by RumpelstiltskinThe Brave at Heart: Discoveries

11th December 2014:
*Confetti* My first review since having the baby! It has been way too long.

I don't know if I've mentioned it before -- and, if not, I'm a very bad Rumpel -- the flow of your sentences are awesome (you use punctuation within the sentences extremely well). :D

Anyway, on to the madness.

D'aw.. Mandy asked Remus out! That's just adorable! ♥ Mel will get the courage to ask Sirius out eventually. Maybe. Hopefully. *Cough* Sirius and his moodiness -- so much to love ;).

Uhoh, Vanessa with a love potion...that can't be good. Unless she uses it on Filch (then, THAT is hilarious)! Bahaha. Of course, then we find out her mom died, which was a perfect transition back into the reality that their facing, with Voldemort and whathaveyou. I do love that you're leaving that shadow hanging over everyone's heads while they continue -- most of the time -- to act like normal teenagers (as they would do, because they ARE teenagers).

Carol's trying way too hard (which is a good thing, because the primary objective is not to have Carol dating Sirius anyway). Oh goodness. Must. Not. Make. Eye-contact. Don't do it ;).

Fleeing the country seems to be a suitable choice in the wake of the war. I have the feeling that she will not be doing that, however, but who knows. Maybe this ends with Mel living happily ever after in Iceland with a pack of krups in a fortress made out of rock. Or not, who knows.

An Obliviator...that actually sounds like a fun job.

Whoo! James Potter's impressive Patronus-casting skills to the rescue! To be fair to Mel, casting a Patronus charms seems difficult enough, never mind casting it when there's a creature designed to suck the happiness out of its surroundings in front of you.

Mystery parcel...I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S IN IT! :( Heheh, poor Peter, continuously left out of things. Well, we can't feel too bad for him, can we? Nope. :D And poor Octavius as well. Sirius is just jealous, kind of like how Mel is jealous. Maybe they just need a shove in the right direction ;p.

Oh yes, and then Remus with the werewolf complex. :( it must be frustrating to feel as if he can't get close to anyone, and it must be frustrating for Mandy as well, not being able to know why.

Heheheh, of course Lily doesn't like the lack of attention ;). I think the girls are right, I don't think she'll be able to resist going out with him for much longer ^.^.

Owl steeds! :D That made my day. ...and then the winterized corridor prank just made it even better.

Bahaha, Sirius almost let it slip in Potions, didn't he? Those two crack me up, not to mention the frustration as being the reader, and knowing that they both do have some sort of feelings for each other. It's all about timing though...and, it is quite funny watching them make fools out of themselves ;). Oh, I don't think he'd give Mel tuba feet :D.

Aaand an exciting game of Quiddich to end a lovely chapter! Thanks for some great reading upon returning to HPFF :D. Hopefully I'll be able to make an appearance every now and then!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: omg, congratulations!!! ♥

Ooh, thank you! I am a huge fan of punctuation. Sometimes I think I go way overboard on commas and semicolons because I love them, so I am glad to hear they are reasonable ;D

Yep... Mandy is a go-getter, and there's no way that Remus was going to put himself out there on his own. Sigh. Fingers crossed for Mel! ;)

Bahaha that would be hilarious. And disturbing. Yeah, I wanted to show some sort of background to Vanessa because there'd been nothing particularly sympathetic about her so far - but she does have a reason for being how she is. :-/ And I'm really glad that feeling came across, of the shadow hanging over the heads of otherwise normal teenagers.

I think that most teenagers wouldn't be all "I'm so awesome I'm going to join in this dangerous fight against Voldemort!" Besides, as Mel is not necessarily brave and has a tendency to avoid her problems, escaping would be exactly her sort of thing. Ooh, I wish I'd gone the Iceland and krups route, that sounds like the best outcome. ;)

Harry was good at the Patronus charm, but it's definitely supposed to be a really difficult one, so I figured not everyone can do it under pressure!

Well, I think that Sirius kind of underestimated Peter, so he just didn't think before he said that (as he's not particularly tactful either, is he..)

Remus... ugh. Love him, but he can be so frustrating!

Oh Lily... it's too obvious to EVERYONE around her that she likes James, but... haha. I think you can understand Lily a lot better than she can understand herself at the moment! ;)

UGH, I know. I think this chapter is them at their most frustratingly obtuse, haha!

So glad to see you back, your reviews always put the hugest smile on my face. There are exciting things coming up in the next few chapters so I'm excited to see what you think ;) Thanks so much for your review!! ♥ And congratulations once again :D


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Review #13, by RumpelstiltskinPlaying for Keeps: A Face From the Past

14th October 2014:
Hey there!

James Potter -- described as the epitome of a character that I'd love to hate :D. I absolutely love how the narration plays into the MC's opinion of him, possibly skewing his characterization slightly. That's one of my favorite aspects of the "unreliable narrator" (like this, when the narration is driven by how a certain character views the world around them), and you're using it spectacularly. Also, there are some fantastic descriptions in this.

There's a HUGE presence of tension when the two begin to converse, which is absolutely fantastic. Their personalities are just so strong that their (mostly) mild conversation feels like the beginning of a war. I also like the hints about the MC having fallen for (or at least become vulnerable to) James' charms in the past.

I'm beginning to love your MCs vindictive sass, as well. I mean, she's just so amazingly ruthless and brass, trapping James in corners with her carefully-worded questions, and denying him anything and everything that she could -- including teaching him how to play pool. She's fantastic.

Ouch. What's James going to do now? :D I have a feeling that he'll figure out SOMETHING that he could possibly give her. Maybe. Actually, I have no idea.

Anyway, this was a fantastic chapter, and a great fic so far to boot!

Thanks for the swap!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the swap! :D

James Potter is definitely a love-to-hate sort of character. He's quite a jerk in this chapter, very arrogant and rather entitled. I'm glad that you caught the whole "never-trust-a-first-person-narrator" thing. My OC sees him through a very skewed viewpoint, and that will be revealed gradually as the story progresses. :D Thank you! I love descriptive language, but I always feel like I don't use enough of it. I'm glad you liked my descriptions!

So. Much. TENSION! And it definitely doesn't end there. Their personalities clash and collide and clash some more. War is a good way to describe it! But for now, battle is only on the horizon. :) Ah yes, their mysterious past! The MC is definitely not enamoured with James, but she did have a very bad experience with him when she was younger. More will be revealed in later chapters. :D

Oooh, I'm so happy that you love her sass! She's like my channel for sassiness--I can't say these things to people in real life, so I let her say them and my life is better for it. :D She has to be ruthless-it's in her job description, and she has a special hatred for James. Thank you!

Ahhh... You shall see very soon!

Thanks again for such a stellar review!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #14, by RumpelstiltskinLike Clockwork: Antiquity

13th October 2014:
Hey there!

First of all, your use of imagery and description in this is absolutely lovely! I love every bit of it. From those flames that the reader's are lead to believe are quite possibly the result of Cecily's panicked emotion -- and turn out to be the result of magical build-up, instead -- to the terror portrayed as she was facing her (what we though was) her ultimate demise, it was really great.

The tone matched this introduction very well, as did the voice. The combination of narrative and word-choice was fantastic for the time-era that this was set in, and it really gave it the 18th-century feel.

This introduction was a great set-up for what is to come. The name Mason is holding something special, and I believe that you are setting up future character with that small line of, "“You are to do great things, Miss Mason..." Fantastic foreshadowing.

And, of course, ending with "Happy Halloween" is lovely for the season and airs a hint of foreshadowing in itself.

This was great, I can't wait to read more!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hi Rumpel!

Thanks so much! I'm not extremely familiar with 18th century; I've read a bit and watched a bit, so applying their word choice, perspectives, and actions was a challenge. I'm happy to see you thought it was portrayed well!

Thanks so much with the foreshadowing compliment! It means a lot!

Thanks so much!

-Leigh


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Review #15, by RumpelstiltskinDeath Eaters: Death Eaters

2nd October 2014:
Hey there :).

Microfiction is something that can be extremely challenging, given that you must paint a picture within the limits of word constraint. I thought you did a fantastic job with each section, capturing a single moment in a very artistic manner.

Regulus -- This section was beautifully murky. You've managed to embody his suffering and internal conflict surrounding his decisions in life -- specifically joining Voldemort's ranks -- and the consequences thereof. The object of his affection is even deemed to be unfit for someone like him, who has become befouled by his own devices. The ending of this section was especially fantastic, and was absolutely my favorite part of this section. "...he was sure to explode. And that he did." -- this was a powerful statement that really wrapped up that particular flash-fiction nicely.

Narcissa -- While this section had a strong focal-point on Andromeda -- on how she was able to flee from a life shrouded in darkness, where she would certainly be dragged along through the chaos of a life that she did not agree with -- this also indirectly highlights some of Cissa's traits. I love that you've shown Cissa's sense of abandonment when her only protection from said life (Andromeda) left. In a way, it reflects the same kind of feelings as when Sirius left the Black home, and how I'd imagine that Regulus would feel. I thought that the parallels drawn there were quite clever.

Rosier -- I love how this section really highlights some of the aspects of war and being a Death Eater. Although orders were to eliminate an individual, an entire family was slaughtered just because they were there, and in the way of people like Bellatrix Lestrange. Rosier's inability to stomach the gruesome sight was absolutely powerful, speaking volumes for his characterization. The vulnerable feeling of being trapped with his 'choices' in life, unable to escape without facing a fate that would be surely worse than death, was captured wonderfully in the end.

Fenrir -- I love this character, and you've done him justice. The fact that he was not 'born' evil, but had become evil under the speculation of others, giving way to the pressures of his circumstance (eg becoming a werewolf and facing society, thusly), was truly a unique and awesome take on who Fenrir is.

Severus -- I'm always terrified about reading other author's characterization of him, as he's my favorite, but I was confident that you would do fantastically given what you'd done with the other characters in this (and I wasn't disappointed). I loved the idea that his beliefs about blood impurity was a manifestation of nurture, and I loved the contrast that you set up between Lily Evans and himself. The short build-up you've built here, about love, friendship, and a darkness that just kept lingering, was perfect, and I love the ultimate let-down of this build-up, where that love and friendship crumbled. The end of that section, where he swore not to fail her again, set up what we know of his canon characterization nicely.

Rabastan -- Ah, unrequited love. I love how this section focused on the naive girl who got away (Emmeline) rather than a feeling of hopelessness surrounding being a part of Voldemort's ranks. In fact, he seems quite pleased with being a part of that world, and his discontent surrounded the fact that Emmeline had been 'woken' from her naivety.

I absolutely loved this! The common themes penetrated throughout the story's entirety, while each section stood alone as its own flash-ficiton, capturing a single moment beautifully!

Great job, and thanks for the swap. (Also, sorry it took so long, I have to stop and think when I'm reviewing so that I don't miss anything :) ).

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hi Rumpel!

Thanks so so much for such elaborate review! It put the largest smile on my face :) writing a bit for each section was so nice of you, and I'd like to thank you for that. I'm also glad that you caught on that the Narcissa part was about Narcissa-some thought it was about Andromeda.

Thanks so much! And I didn't mind the wait :)

-Leigh


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Review #16, by RumpelstiltskinUpper Class: Chapter Six

29th September 2014:
^.^ Hey there, and sorry for stealing your review ^.^.

Of course Hermione would have to examine everything about her life -- about whether or not everything would be different. It's something that I'm sure will haunt her throughout the story, and it could drive anyone a little batty. I love the idea of not quite being able to "put words to her emotions". I think we've all been to that point at some point in our lives, which makes the saying easy to relate to.

Despite everything that's happening, it's wonderful to see Hermione and her parents getting along so nicely. There's a lot of love in that scene, and I think it reiterates the fact that her parents are still her parents, even through the huge secret they'd been keeping from her. ♥

Being gifted a house is something huge, and completely unexpected for Hermione. Naturally, it brings back all of the confusion for her, knocking her back from her sense of normalcy.

It's not surprising that she doesn't understand why the didn't fight, and why they took such extreme measures to hide from Voldemort, and her parents don't react to it the right way. The revelation that comes from it, that Hermione's mother was pregnant (and then lost that child) was absolutely heartbreaking. :(

I love the back story (even if it was sad)!

On a little side-note on your AN, I had absolutely no idea that English wasn't your primary! I think that it's absolutely incredible that you write so well in a secondary language! I could never write so well in my secondary ;).

Great job!

-Rumpel

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Review #17, by RumpelstiltskinSins or Virtues?: Gula

29th September 2014:
Hey there!

So, I definitely love the idea of this, and I think your approach to the challenge was unique and well-executed. Not only are you portraying the seven sins nicely, but I love the fact that you are pairing them against virtues, and there's an ongoing battle between them.

I found all of the names a bit confusing, only because they're new to me, but as the story progresses I'm learning more and more about their necessity and placement.

Some of my favorite parts of this are the short bits of dialogue that open each piece. They set a proper air to the story, creating foreshadowing and mood. I also love the repetition of "But the war was yet to be fought" that concludes each segment.

Overall, I think you have a very original piece here, and I encourage you to continue. Again, perhaps slowing down a bit surrounding some of the characters, so that the reader can connect with them, would add to the flow of the story. Keep up the great work, it's nice to see a bit of abstracted tucked into the FF world!

-Rumpel

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Review #18, by RumpelstiltskinUpper Class: Chapter Five

23rd September 2014:
Hey there ;).

Format-less Rumpel ramblings, round two.

I think that Pansy's ownership of a high-end dress shop suits her perfectly, especially with what you're doing with her characterization. Pansy never had much of a show of character development in the series, mostly because she was an extremely minor character, so I absolutely love what you are doing with her. She's has hints of what canon we DO have from her, and then so much more depth (from growth through the years and just more characterization in general).

Obviously, Hermione is a bit overwhelmed by all of the different kinds of dresses, heels and jewelry that Pansy has available in her shop. Not being used to such an array of items would be overwhelming to anybody, really. Of course, Pansy doesn't make it much easier on her, with her snide comments about Hermione's sense of fashion ;).

Draco's characterization really shines in this chapter, as he defends Hermione against Pansy's comments.

Despite everything about Pansy, she sure knows what she's talking about when it comes down to fashion advice. I'm curious to see if Hermione will be able to make a good impression at the fundraiser, and if she'll be able to walk in those heel ;).

Another great chapter!

-Rumpel

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Review #19, by RumpelstiltskinUpper Class: Chapter Four

22nd September 2014:
Hey dear, I'm here for the Slytherin review exchange.

(I don't particularly feel like sticking to a format tonight, so prepare yourself for a free-for-all!)

Understandably, Hermione's remains entirely resistant to the idea of her parents' new lifestyle (well, their OLD lifestyle that was abandoned, and now being reestablished). I do love that you've kept this canon stubbornness about her that really is one of the only things about her that could possibly hold her back...and of course, she's holding herself back from experiencing life differently. Though, I wouldn't be too keen on spending time around someone like Draco, who had tormented me through school. That's a tough situation to be in.

Her state of dress caused that much commotion? Oh boy... Well, maybe she'll get the elitist-style dress down someday ;). It seems quite unfair though, that she would be judged solely on the way she was dressed -- poor girl!

Harry's outburst made me laugh a little. He's really a great friend, and I love Harry/Ginny in this, it's very cute.

Of course, with the obligations to her parents hanging over her head, she can't exactly escape the life that she doesn't want. That leaves room for some interaction with Draco, because she does, in fact, need his help if she's going to pull this off. It is also true that she'll be able to escape the grasps of the Prophet if she is able to blend into the society smoothly, becoming invisible instead of sticking out like a sore thumb.

Speaking of, that particular part of Diagon Alley is a little intimidating, isn't it? Though, I wouldn't expect to meet someone like Draco Malfoy anywhere else. Hermione may hate Draco, if only just a little ;) but I don't think that she would have any reason to believe that he would poison her (at least not now that the war is over and everything).

I'm excited to see all of the guidance that Draco can provide in leading the lifestyle of the upper class (or 'infiltrating' it, as he's said). I find it humorous that Hermione's getting dragged along into this, especially that she'll be dealing with Pansy in the ways of dressing properly ;).

Great chapter! Sorry about the rambling (it's what happens when I don't stick to my format)!

-Rumpel

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Review #20, by RumpelstiltskinChicks Before Broomsticks: Fast Life

19th September 2014:
Hey there!

Plot/plot arch: Originality is definitely something that shines through here, as I'm quite certain that I haven't read anything quite like this yet, particularly given that it appears to be heavily Quiddich-oriented (as the MC's on a team). The underlying plot that's shining through this introduction is the MC's, Hollie, love interest in one, Roxanne Weasley. The tragedy, of course, lies in that Roxanne doesn't seem to be returning said interest. In fact, she seems to be straight (solely based on the tryst in the bathroom with Logan), which doesn't look good for Hollie.

Characterization: Hollie -- Despite her position on her Quiddich team, the 'Tutshill Tornados', in the reserves, she seems to take her role quite seriously. What hints at this the most is the fact that she chooses to leave the team's celebration early in order to get some rest for practice the next morning. There are several key qualities that shine through in this introduction: she's friendly (like with Elijah), she has the ability to stand up for herself (like with the drunken man pestering her at the bar), but she is still vulnerable, if only in private (like when she cried herself to sleep, pining over Roxanne). She also doesn't appear to be bound by social stigma, as she is far from shy about entering the men's bathroom to escape a line for the women's. She made a logically sound decision that speaks greatly for her character. While she has the ability to be a strong individual, her more sensitive side shines through when it involves Roxanne (whether it be admiring her from afar at practice, or attempting to act like a friend when she really wants more). I absolutely love the effect that Roxanne has on Hollie, especially at the end in the fantastic line, "Hollie was surprised she didn’t end up in Finland or Japan with how badly she butchered her address in the Floo." ;).

Style: Nothing is overly verbose, and the face-paced terminology during Quddich practice greatly assisted the action of the scene.

Notes/other: Great job, and thanks for the swap! Also, sorry it took so long, I tend to get a bit carried away.

-Rumpel

Author's Response: I can't even begin to thank you for taking an analytical eye to this.

You are correct :) at the current moment - when we begin - Hollie is under the impression that Roxanne is straight. We'll see if that changes :)

Characterization! Oh good! I was a little worried that her characterization was getting lost in everything that was happening, but the way you've picked out everything specifically on point puts my mind at ease. I'm glad you got such a great grasp for her (I'm probably going to come back and read this when I'm having writers block. seriously. I don't even know where to start thanking you.)

heh. I'm glad you liked that line.

Anyway, thank you (again) a million times for picking through this. It really brings my perspective around so I really appreciate it. Thanks again for the swap!

Julie


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Review #21, by RumpelstiltskinThe Brave at Heart: Carry That Weight

18th September 2014:
Hello!

Wow, Mel's all about asking Sirius questions that he doesn't exactly want to answer: first about Remus, then the nicknames, and then Regulus -- she's on a role! At least Sirius seems to be opening up to her a little bit, what with actually having a conversation with her about his brother. (Also, I'm sure that Sirius' claw hand looks absolutely fabulous, because he's Sirius :p .)

“The world is not split into good people and Death Eaters, Sirius,” -- That's actually a very powerful line, in my opinion. Not only does being a Death Eater seem to define a person's good or evil status, especially in people like Sirius' opinion, but there are also people who aren't becoming Death Eaters who aren't necessarily good people. Mel's ability to see this, influenced slightly by Nathan's involvement, is a strong show of her characterization as it conflicts Sirius'. Though, there is that strong bond of similarity between them, as both of their brothers are either Death Eaters or soon-to-be Death Eaters, so that element alone provides an essential commonality. Which, of course, means, queue awkward hand-holding meant to be a gesture of friendship ^.^ hahahah. Teenage love.

Speaking of, I love James and Lily's interaction here. That tentative dancing that Lily's doing around her feelings, while showing the desire to speak to James and be around him is absolutely fantastic. Her denial of actual feelings towards James I think is not only for everybody else's benefit, but for her own, like she's trying to convince herself that she really doesn't show an interest. However, it's almost as if she's partially admitted to herself that she's developing feelings for him, already. ♥

Yes, I would think that learning how to dissuade Peeves from his pestering would result in life at Hogwarts being just a tad more tolerable. ^.^

Gah, wow Mel...*cough* thinking before she speaks isn't exactly her strength, is it? Baha, it made ME laugh, though, even if it was a little bit horrifying for her. I do love her rationale when she decided that she was never going anywhere near Sirius ever again -_-...poor Mel. I can imagine that she's quite embarrassed, even though her cover was oh-so-suave.

Of course, it didn't help that Vanessa assisted in the revision and spreading of the tale. I think that, in her position, I would have just locked myself in a cupboard and refused to come out for the remainder of the year...or until someone did something so embarrassing that everybody forgot about the incident. Yeah...

What was he going to tell her?! Stupid, giggling girl *hmph*. I'd like to hex her, myself, to be quite honest. Luckily, Sirius took the events of the previous day lightly, overlooked the rumors, and was able to maintain his friendship with Mel. You've really nailed this charismatic aspect to him that I really just love about him, and would expect him to be like.

“You know, there’s nothing going on with me and Carol,” he said cautiously. “We’re just friends.” -- His justification proves, to the readers, that Sirius might have actual feeling for Mel. Of course, with both of them being teenagers and dancing around the subject like teenagers do, it leaves Mel feeling worn out because these kids refuse to process their feelings O.o! So, yeah, the main topic of this review is teenage love (don't mind me). Obviously, they're just both very confused by their feelings, and don't know how to handle those feelings, so they just play this back-and-forth game. It fits perfectly into the story, building up tension to the point where you want to scream 'Just kiss, already!' -- which is an absolutely fantastic thing.

I'm rambling.

Well, isn't Mandy the romantic ;). Though, Althea doesn't seem to mind the soup incident, and that she does, in fact, have a crush on Hector. ♥

I think one's own personal ghost would be a pretty neat thing to have.

Oh boy, Death Eaters inside the castle...that's going to start a panic. Well, yes, actually that's exactly what happened. Parents (as well as students) will be wondering if Hogwarts is a safe enough place to be.

Ouch, Althea, that was pretty harsh. Though, Slytherin House DOES seem to be under fairly constant speculation...poor Slytherins ;). The war is happening...and it just seems to be escalating! Things are really going to hit the fan when they're OUTSIDE Hogwarts...

:D Great chapter!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Rumpel! You're such an amazing reviewer, like where do I even start with this review other than "bkjasjhkd"

That conversation was one of my favourite parts to write about this chapter as they finally TALKED about important stuff and connected on a deeper level. I really like the connections you drew here between Melanie and Sirius - although they do have the commonality of having brothers involved in the other side, they have very different perspectives of it. I do like that line in particular - Sirius said something to that effect in OotP when talking to Harry (and in my mind at least, he was recalling this conversation with Mel :P)

You hit the nail on the head with what I was trying to convey with Lily, and I'm so thrilled it came across that way. That's the way I imagine it too - she was trying to deny it to herself for a while, but her shell is cracking by this point!

Well, Melanie does usually say what's on her mind, which in this case is unfortunate when things like that are on her mind. Maybe it would have been easier if Sirius actually picked up on it, too. :P

Aw, thanks! That really means a lot to me that you think I've done the characterization well with Sirius.

Hmm.. does he actually have feelings for her? Who knows, because as you said - like teenagers do, they just get awkward about it. Ughhh sometimes I just wanted to yell at all the characters :p I'm glad you like that dynamic and all the building tension though!

Mandy is too much of a romantic! :P Sometimes when writing her lines I was just doing these huge eyerolls at how absurd she is.

Panic indeed. That would be super scary.

That was definitely harsh from Althea - she's normally quite a nice person but as you can imagine she's under a lot of stress, and that does sometimes crack even the nicest people. Poor Slytherins indeed. The war must have been a bad time to be a snake.

Thanks so much for your amazing and thoughtful review!! ♥


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Review #22, by Rumpelstiltskinlove and lycanthropy and other institutions: institutionalisation

4th September 2014:
I have finally arrived ^.^! (And linear timelines are for squares, anyway.)

Due to the plot jumping about, this review is going to jump about just as much, in order to follow the way the story flows. This ways amazing! WolfStar is one of my favorite ships, and I think you're doing the relationship great justice with this. As always, your writing is beautiful, with the absolutely amazing word choice and descriptions. Alrighty then, into the madness we go!

Section One:

I love the way that you clearly define what 'time' we're reading, most especially by using the hours until the full moon as the 'present' part of the time-line (for now, anyways). It makes the transition between sections flow smoothly.

There are so many elements in this section that made me know right from the beginning that I was going to love this. For example, the small details that play into characterization, such as James wearing his Head Boy pin upside-down all year, Peter's questions (and the fact that he's mostly ignored), Sirius' very open public display of affection and Remus' hesitance towards it, made me fall in love with this crew all over again.

The idea of the institution is mentioned in this section, of course, referring to Hogwarts, that will grow in meaning over time. What I love most about the idea of the institution in this section is that Sirius seems desperate to get out, while Remus really isn't quite sure that he wants to leave.

Section Two:

This is where the meaning of institution evolves the first time, from Hogwarts to Lycanthropy, where his sickness is something he's slave to. I do love the idea that it has an order to it, it's timely and to-the-point. You've brought a new level of depth to the idea of Lycanthropy.

The meaning transforms again in this same section, moving from his condition to the Shrieking Shack, which will, indeed contain his more *cough* wild side. "And institution within an institution" -- ;) well-said.

Also, I appreciate this section as it is the beginning to Remus going to Hogwarts, and how others perceived his illness. Of course, he must have looked sickly, especially around the full moon, so why wouldn't kids spread rumors? The rumors were probably better than the student body discovering his secret...even if the rumors did include being a leper.

Section Three:

Peter's fears go unheard in this section, an ongoing issue. His friends aren't truly hearing what he's saying, and I think you've done a wonderful job with that, as it sets a path for his canon betrayal.

Peter obviously feels safe at Hogwarts, but Sirius is, once again, desperate to leave the walls of the institution behind.

Section Four:

This was one of my favorite sections, and there are several elements that really strike me. The first is that Remus was the last member of the group that would come to be known as the Marauders. Furthermore, I loved that one of the boys' first interactions was met through a failed attempt at a prank...it seems perfect to me.

The boys' acceptance of his condition, upon finding out, was awesome. I especially loved that Sirius takes Remus' statement of 'there's nothing you can do' as a challenge, which very well may have planted the idea of the group becoming animagi.

Section Five:

Even Remus, in this section, isn't quite listening to Peter. He hears what the other boy is saying, but the way that Remus answers caters to the idea that he doesn't care so much about what Peter is trying to say. Peter's clearly terrified, but his friends don't seem overly concerned at this point (they're still working their ways through the end of the school year).

Section Six:

Your inclusion of how they all begin to achieve their nicknames was a fantastic small detail, as is the beginning process of how the boys were learning to become animagi (that made me laugh).

I love how Sirius' advances on Remus are met with skepticism, Remus believes that he's just fooling around, and taking it a bit too far to boot ;). I love the slow build-up, here.

Section Six:

Sirius' tenderness -- ♥ -- that's absolutely freaking adorable, that is.

Section Seven:

While the successful transformations are absolutely fantastic, I'm running out of characters, so let's move onto the groping ;).

Sirius' advances are more forward here, but Remus is still reluctant. Something tells me he won't always be reluctant and, you know, that was a fantastically hot little scene :D.

Section Seven:

Remus' body becomes the institution, trapping the real him within. That was an absolutely fantastic addition.

Section Eight:

James' wholehearted acceptance and Peter's hesitance towards discovering about Remus and Sirius is a fantastic contrast. It does highlight the difference in the two characters personalities. 'You're going to ruin us' -- fantastically powerful words that truly speak to Peter's character.

Section Nine:

I love that Remus wakes up, believing that he's going to be all alone, to discover that Sirius is there with him. Whatever tension had been between the pair before the transformation, is suddenly gone, and some spectacular flirting ensues, as it must ;).

Section 10:

I love the idea that Sirius refuses to let his guard down, even with Remus, and even over something as trivial as the fact that he's afraid of water. Yet, the pair are still there, together, because Remus accepts that about Sirius. And kisses.

Section 11:

James seems to be the glue, reminding the group that they are just that, the group. It feels like a bit of foreshadowing, because once James dies, the group ultimately falls apart. And of course, there's the wonderfully tender moment between Remus and Sirius in the Hospital Wing ;).

Section 12:

The final mention of the institution...little do they know that the institution is what was holding them together. And feels.

This was amazing! Thanks for the swap!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hello Rumpel! ♥

Oh god I'm SORRY how long it's taken for me to respond to this amazing amazing review -hides- It scared me a little when I received it, but asdlkjaslfkh THANK YOU SO MUCH. Your comments reduced me to a puddle of happy slush.

I'm glad to hear that wolfstar is a ship you ship! I'd been hoping to get feedback on this story from fans of this ship, and yay! Thank you!

Ahahah linear timelines hahaha. No such thing exists in this fic, for sure!

I really think I needed to add the 'time', or a sense of time to the start of each chapter to differentiate the timelines. I wasn't going to at first, but I realised that things got confusing pretty fast, especially since both timelines are only a few years apart, and they grow closer together towards the end. And they're both set during the Marauders' school years so yeah...the full moon thing allowed me to help sort out the time a bit.

I love small details! THANK YOU for noticing them! James and his upside down badge haha!

The 'institution' term does gather more meaning and connotation as the story progresses; it's not all bad. I do hope the metaphor isn't too forced or anything... o.O I thought the concept of the institution would indicate things like an established framework of rules, society, patterns, familiarity, protection - but it also includes the rigorous cycles of the full moon that Remus suffers so terribly from. And then there's the war outside of school which threatens to shatter comfort zones, with death and violence...etc. The Marauders being such a band of free spirits would want to always escape established patterns; I feel that most of them would react against the norms, stand up for each other while being highly individualistic (I hope I'm making sense). Hogwarts for all its fun times can start to become a prison for James and Sirius, who want to go where the action is.

ARGH RAMBLING SORRY

Section 4 was one of my favourite to write too! Before I wrote this fic, I never thought that Remus would be the last to join the Marauders! But then it all started to make sense as I wrote more of him, and so I made him thus.

Peter was such an interesting character to explore. I know there are lots of Peter fics out there all examining his motives in detail, and I couldn't help referring to them, at least foreshadowing things and how he will soon be splitting from the Marauders.

SIRIUS IS TENDER YES. He's harsh sometimes, but he can go the other way too! I wanted to write him as fairly open with Remus, in terms of their relationship. Not so much in terms of all his past and his personal issues which he's trying to put behind him.

GROPING GROPING :P

Flirting, hospital wing scenes, etc. My god we all need some fluff after all that transformation horror. :D

I love your analysis about James being the glue that holds the group together. OF COURSE. It completely makes sense. Argh, the ending was meant to be hopeful...because for now, the boys are united, and their tensions are cast aside as they revel in each other's company and enjoy the present moment. Unfortunately, if you put the fic in context with the Marauders' entire lives, then things do become bittersweet and take on that tragic undertone...that's the thing about writing the Marauder Era: we already know their fates. The bitter end to their lives. :(

ARGH BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH RUMPEL! ♥ This was absolutely wonderful, and your review made my whole week AGAIN just by rereading it! And sorry again for the late response.

-teh


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Review #23, by RumpelstiltskinThe Lost Wolf: Go to Sleep

3rd September 2014:
Okay, I'm here! Sorry about the delay...I needed to get back to this story anyway.

I love this chapter ^.^. Okay, so one of the elements that really stuck out to me was the way that Sirius' thoughts run the narration in the first section, Minerva's in the second, and Remus' at the end. This narrative style is something that really appeals to me, as it allows for a wider range of character and plot exploration -- so that the readers can see all sides of the story rather than just one (which does have its benefits, but I find this more fun, especially for this story).

I love Sirius' frantic thoughts of 'is this Cassie?', 'no, this can't be Cassie', 'why not?', 'It IS Cassie!' :D. It's sad to think about Sirius not being able to reveal himself to her, because, as he said, even if she does remember him, she'll think (like the rest of the world) that he's a murderer. For now, he'll just have to settle with keeping her company as "Doggie" ;). At least he's making her laugh -- poor Cassie has gone through a lot.

Cassie's characterization is great. I really like how strong she is, despite being so broken. She's a strong person (and goodness, being able to stitch your own leg must be incredibly difficult...I don't think I could do that), and I have a feeling that's going to play into the story.

McGonagall's characterization is spot-on, and I loved every second of her.

Remus' story of why he didn't approach Cassie when he saw her was heartbreaking. While, yes, her life seemed to be looking up -- but her entire world shattered since he last saw her :(. But, he knows that, though he thinks that he's killed her.

Ah! I can't wait to see how this all plays out!

Great chapter!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry for the incredibly late response and the incredibly late return of favor...

Thank you so much for your review! I have to say I missed your comments, since you were my first reviewer ever and you managed encourage me to keep writing in a way you couldn't imagine!

I am glad you liked the shifts of POV, especially since they will be a constant in the next chapters. I found that I couldn't express the story with the depth I aimed to if I just conveyed Cassandra's and Sirius' view of the events. As it may transpire from this chapter, things are just too complicated to be seen just through a seventeen-year-old girl and a slightly unstable escaped convict. I am also incredibly happy that you like my OC: many told me she is a Mary Sue, and at the beginning I understand that she may give this idea... But she had her inner debates, and she is not perfect. This will probably become more and more evident as the story proceeds, and more difficulties arise :)!

MicGonagall is great! I love her, and I certainly want her to play a major role in this story. Remus is a tad bit darker than in the books, but I keep fooling myself that he's not OOC, probably because book Remus tended to take foolish decisions when it came to family (ehm... Tonks.ehm...). The "Restaurant misunderstanding" will cause quite the drama, I warn you!


Thank you again for the review, I really hope to hear from you soon, and congrats for the mini-Rumpel ;)!


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Review #24, by RumpelstiltskinPlaying for Keeps: Shooting Star, After Midnight

2nd September 2014:
Hey there :).

The first, and most obvious, element that I love is the atmosphere that the story conveys. I love that 50s, Monroe-era feel that this is giving off. The way that you've tied in the casino-life with the wizarding world is very entertaining. In fact, this era is actually very enticing for me, so I was very excited from the beginning.

The main character, of course, fits perfectly into this setting. Dancing on stage, and hustling games of pool -- she just emphasizes that atmosphere in this that I love so much. And she can really play well (meaning that she's perfect for hustling). I kind of feel bad for the guy that she tricks, but, hey, it's all the more fun. I also really enjoyed that she acknowledged herself as a showoff ;).

This was really well written, and I love the mystery in the end of this chapter. I wonder who is lurking in the shadows, and if her night being over was referring to more pool, or something else.

Great job, and thanks for the swap!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hi! Here I am, finally answering your review from our swap. :)

I'm so glad that you love the atmosphere! I really like the Gatsby-esque, Roaring Twenties vibe, and that's what I was going for, but I can see how it can be taken as 50s-ish, too! Lots of weird gender politics going on. :)

I am personally in love with my MC. Is that bad? I don't know... She's the first character that I've created that I have any real attachment to, and I love how talented she is and how snarky she can be. She is definitely a showoff! Every performer needs a stage to perform on, and this is her stage. :D

Thank you so very much! Everything will be revealed in time!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #25, by RumpelstiltskinHere, There & Everywhere: Here, There and Everywhere

2nd September 2014:
Hey there! :D

This is a fantastic look into Ron and Hermione's developing feelings and blossoming relationship over the years. The time spent alone during that first summer seems to have really brought them together, until Harry comes into the picture. As they are still very young, of course any feelings that they're having for one another are confusing. With everything that transgresses over the years, it's really no wonder why they would not only turn those confusing feelings into bickering, but also refrain from perusing them.

The transition into the following year by highlighting the subtle changes (Ron's height and Hermione's hair) made me smile. After some time a part, these things could be very noticeable, and noticeable because they do care about each other. The small things that they argue about, and the way Ron ultimately sticks up for and attempts to protect her, is very, very sweet! ♥

This line, "any kisses with others were for the secret purpose of practice for when he finally plucks up the nerve to kiss her" is (of course) one of my absolute favorites ^.^. It's just so sweet, and it emphasizes the fact that Ron really does have feelings for her, but he just can't bring himself to express them in ways other than his protectiveness and argumentativeness.

Again, with everything going on, and all that Harry is facing, the pair feel obligated (because they're great friends with him) to focus on Harry (and, hey, there's a war brewing -- so that probably was a good plan of action) and leave their feelings on the back-burners.

The extent to which they go to be close to each other, to touch hands or just be in each other's company, is really sweet. His laughing at her joke, simply because it was just that bad of a joke, was another one of my favorite moments in this. And then there's the first kiss ♥ ! Aww.

The ending really tied this all together, bringing all of their July's spent together to a meaning. July no longer represents their time spent together alone, but not their time spent together with everyone that they love. The way their relationship was finally able to transpire after the war was the perfect way to end this.

This was so sweet! I think everything else I've read of yours so far has had a slightly more solace tone to it, so this was a new way to view your writing style, and it was fantastic (not that it wasn't fantastic otherwise) ;).

Thanks for the swap!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hey Rumpel! :D So sorry for taking all these months to reply to your amazing review!

I'm so glad you liked this look at their relationship and how their feelings developed! I'm glad you thought it made sense as well why they held off for so long, partly because of the circumstances. It helped for me to have the canon events to tie into the story.

Ah, I'm so glad you found them sweet and liked the little details showing how they were growing up! I liked the idea of them noticing little changes in each other than someone who wasn't as invested wouldn't necessarily have seen.

I'm so glad you liked that line about the kissing! :) Ron is quite an interesting character in how he doesn't like opening up in some ways, and if he's upset he can lash out by being mean. So it felt right to give that some rationale in how he acts with other girls.

They definitely do, and I think that by the end of the war, they would have been through so much that it wasn't worth delaying or making excuses anymore. I'm glad you liked the physical contact, and the kiss, yay!

I love your comments on the final July and how it represents their love but also relationships with others. Hehe, this was definitely a happier story or at least fluffier than I usually write, but it was quite fun. :P

Thanks so much for the lovely review, darling! :D


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