You tease! I thought you were going to off Malfoy! Oh well I guess that'll have to wait *exaggerated sigh while rolling eyes* This chapter was well paced and your action scene was well written. I guess my style rubbed off on you a bit haha. Well, at least it's nothing like firefawn's ^^;; Her action scenes give us brain spasms hahaha.
I kind of felt bad on Malfoy in this chapter. Is it because I've been taking it easy on him in my story?! I could be crueler! I can change! haha. Anyway keep up the good work and I look forward to you finishing this story.Author's Response: Tease?!?! Never! Offing Malfoy? Hmm...interesting scenerio you bring up there. The action was well written?! ::stares:: I guess it was okay. That's all I'm giving it, okay. And yes, I admit to going back and reading some of your chapters to help me along. I look forward to finishing this thing as well...it's been a long time coming! Report Review
I love how Draco was so whiny in this chapter. "I hate being obliviated!" I just imagined him stomping his foot with his arms crossed like a little child who wanted his pudding before his dinner XD
And how Brooke gave Draco Harry's favorite sweater. Priceless. That has got to be one of the best moments in this chapter next to Draco being whiny. And him saying Harry upgraded from a redhead to Brooke. I would assume Brooke would be beaming on the inside, thinking "You're damn right Potter upgraded!"
Author's Response: Yes, Draco is quite the whiney little character, isn't he? Haha, I love your thoughts for Brooklyn here! I may need to go back and add that somewhere...somehow...or maybe add it on later. Report Review
I absolutely love this chapter. You turned Ginny into an obsessive emo teeny bopper on Harry. That was absolutely CLASSIC! And how Fred just oh so casually introduced everyone, especially "And I believe you know Ginny, she tried to kill you.” I cracked up at this line.
Sorry it took me so long to review. I've been mourning the loss of my tablet hahah.Author's Response: Haha, yes I turned her into a...well you know. I'm glad you liked the Fred and George scene, I needed some form of comic relief for this chapter. I think I'm becoming and expert at writing funerals, haha. I as well mourn the loss of the wacom =( Report Review
Dude this was a masterpiece! And it goes against everything you've written with climax and excitement. This was just out and out insanity! I love how they got engaged without Harry popping the question. It was just forced onto him. The reference to 'Old School' without the rated R content in the wedding scene was classic. At least you kept Voldemort in character but letting him see Harry get tortured at his own wedding. You should have had Ron summon a cattle prod and shocked him in the butt to get him to run XD.
Pansy really did want to torture Harry demanding the medics to bring him back to life. I think Ron would've been happy to see his best mate dead at this point XD
And that's right: We heard nothing at all.Author's Response: ::sighs in contentment:: My masterpiece. It really was a nice little piece of work, wasn't it? ::pets ego:: Hmm, cattle prod...interesting...maybe I can incorporate that somehow into another little story I'm writing under your influence ;) Report Review
Oh sweet Jesus. You really posted it... I don't think I could've put it into better words than you. The vivid visuals of 34th and 5th really put me there, seeing how my office is exactly three blocks off of 34th.
I can only imagine what you're going to do with the cup.
*smacks forehead* WHY did I suggest this?Author's Response: Of course I posted it! You presented me with quite a lovely piece of plot to work with it would be a travesty if I didn't! And you already have an idea of what's going to happen to the cup, after all, you suggested it! Report Review
Ah so you did manage to kill him off after all. It was very bittersweet but at the same time, you showed Ron's constant dependence on Harry for things like this. All in all it was a great chapter.Author's Response: Of course I managed to kill him! ::crosses Ron's name off the 'Needs to be off-ed' list:: So close to being complete now. And yeah, you pretty much knew Ron was dead as soon as Harry decided to go into the first room instead of follow advice from the 'dark ones'. Dumb Harry, very dumb. haha Report Review
You have to love Tonks. 'National Hangover Day.' Worst. Day. Ever. But oh so funny when you read it. I think you're beginning to dig yourself out of this hole you created ^_^ This chapter went at just the right pace. A little humor, a little action, and of course, a little sarcasm.
The sarcasm was worth at least an 11 right here. I think this year break from writing really recharged your batteries for this story. Author's Response: Ah yes, that lovely, deep, gaping hole I dug for myself with this story. I'm starting to see the light again myself! As for the break from writing, I don't know if I needed the year break, but I certainly needed a couple of months. Report Review
You HAD to put the jello shots. Bravo man, bravo! That was what earned you a 10 on this chapter *laughs*
I find it funny that they went from fighting over hangers to cooperating now. The old lady part was just priceless. Great grandmother. And the ending to this chapter was an absolute perfect cliffhanger. Truth be told, I had to re-read the previous chapter to see where you left off to pick up the pieces. But nicely done! Reading your story reminds me I still have mine to work on... *Looks at Lexi's Hamlet moment and shakes head*Author's Response: Got to love those jello shots ;) Truth be told, I had to reread my previous chapters to see where I had left off! And speaking of yours, I need to catch up on that myself. ::continues to mumble about so many words:: Report Review
OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO?! That was all I could utter out while reading this. You've thrown yourself into The Pit, man. What I'm wondering is how you're going to get yourself out of this plot you wrote! Sorry it's taken me so long to review. I haven't been going to this site lately and PoM was on a two month hiatus.
Now for a proper review. What are you going to do with Milla now? The cat's out of the bag and now she has to choose between Ron and Zack. May I suggest some hilarious suicidal thoughts and attempts from my part? j/k I love how you called fireflies lightning bugs. That scene was so romantic and detailed, I'm sneezing from the open field of grass and flowers Author's Response: Lol wow I first read this and thought I did something wrong!! I'm kinda wondering how I will get out of this too but I think I've got a plan...
I used to call fireflies lightning bugs when I was little so it came out like that... I had a slow moment where I thought there was a difference between the two so I went with the latter name. Thanks for reading!! Report Review
I just realized you made Kally practically a mute for the past three to four chapters. I could be wrong though *laughs*
You mean our midnight ramblings actually did you some good?! And here I thought you took me lightheartedly on the comments haha. As usual, this chapter was very vivid in detail and action. You can actually feel Harry's mental strain as he erected those barriers in Kally's mind. And the memories inside her, oh man. Even I felt how much pain she was in when she saw what had happened to her dad and brother. Not to mention the exhaustion in her body. It was all very lucid and I congratulate you in succeeding in writing oh so perfectly here.
I can only imagine what insanity you have plotted for the next chapter. Our emo hero accidentally kills Angelina by accident while thinking of something vile XDAuthor's Response: Hey IchigoPan! (Wow it feels weird refraining from names on here!) lol And of course I have made her a mute! I figured that was a nice compromise compared with the other options we were discussing for her. *cackles happily* She is simply so much easier to deal with, I mean to write, when she is a mute! And you had a doubt that the midnight ramblings helped!? Are you insane!?! lol They kept me from losing my darn sanity (the little that is left of it) while writing it! I'm glad that the detail was vivid, b/c that was hard to do without an overkill of it. Heck you should know! I had you re-reading the drafts! And as for your "guesses" regarding the next chapter...*hums a bit while running away* Report Review
Sorry it took me so long to read this story. You already know my reasons. And you said you had trouble with witty lines? I found a few that was fitting to this chapter, especially Regulus threatening to kill off a brass doorknob and Tonks' reaction when he mentioned the Killing Curse idea to Kenneth. Priceless.
The whole situation with Angelina wasn't in the original version and it's great. My only question is what made her turn to the dark side (That sounded very Star Wars like)? The actions you had described could be pictured vividly in my head, it's great. And look on the bright side, you're not stuck in the same day anymore!Author's Response: Woohoo! I can't tell you how much your feedback means as usual Viv. I respect your writing so much, and you as a person a lot, so thank you so much! And I'm thrilledM that you found Regulus amusing! lol I really enjoy writing his character, and I am just itching to write the next battle scene. It's not in the next chapter, but the one after that, and I already have some 'antics' planned for Regulus! hehehe Anyways, I'll e-mail you sometime soon and we can catch up. :) As for Angelina, I definitely enjoyed adding that part in. I hadn't planned on making her a bad guy until around Chapter 10. :) I knew I was going to make someone 'good' become bad, but then I figured she would be the perfect person to coerce. I'll say this, she has her reasons, and I'll admit that if I were in her situation I would have been hard pressed not to turn bad either. And Star Wars eh? *chuckles* I love those movies, all the good versus evil plots and subplots! I am so glad that the action was vivid for you too Viv! hehe Get the pun? Sorry, couldn't resist! And yes! We are out of the same day! HUZZAH!
I should have read this a long time ago. This was a short but sweet chapter, very unlikely of you, firefawn. Your chapters tend to be epics usually. From Malfoy referring to God having a sense of humor while poking fun at himself and our Holy Brible was witty and worth a good chuckle.
Give Sienna my best! Report Review
You had a misspelling in your sentence. 'Hopping' is one 'p'. The way you spelled it, you had Milla hopping on one leg like a rabbit or something. But I'm sure it was somewhat late when you typed this.
This wasn't one of your best chapters to be honest. It seemed borderline 'Quizillaesque' if you get my drift, especially with the shopping bit with Ginny. Also, I think you could have done more with this chapter by flashing to Ron's part and seeing how jealous he gets over this. I could imagine him vent to Harry and his face all flushed red haha. Then again, that's just me being weird.
I feel Milla in the food allergy. My mouth and face swells if I eat shrimp and certain fruits. As for cigarette smoke, I get small asthma attacks. Better than a nosebleed from the past.Author's Response: I fixed that spelling, thanks a lot. I was definatly sleepy and rushed in getting this chapter out so that's why it sucked so bad. I'll try to make it better the next chapter coming up. Report Review
I can understand why you needed the fluff in there. Although a crowd pleaser, it was fitting to your story anyway (despite how much you hated writing it) and it builds up Brooklyn and Harry's relationship with one another.
The best line in this entire story was definetely, 'Make sure we never properly meet' and 'Speaking of Ron, it was time to work on getting him back….' I had this vivid image in my head of Brooklyn staring death into Harry's eyes if he ever mentioned Ginny again. And I love how you had Harry forget he had to save Ron from near death. Oh the sidetrackedness your characters go through...
This chapter in general flowed very nicely, from event to event, it was sewn together in a consistent pattern. And take your time with the next one. It's not like we're behind you poking your back to type faster.Author's Response: ::shudders at thought of the fluff:: But yes, it was necessary fluff as you put it. As for the sidetrackedness (awesome word that I must incorporate into daily life now!), what can I say...I guess it might be for a slight comedic edge in some places. Haha, oh the Ginny issue... ::twiddles thumbs:: Chapter 20...yeah, we'll see how long that takes. Report Review
Quite humorous to see this story in Ginny's POV. It's interesting to see her in this angle because I remembered her saying she's never gotten over him at the end of the 6th book.
Again, sadly to point out, you have a few spelling errors ^^;. In the 4th paragraph at the beginning, 'Gryffindore' without the 'e', and 'blancing' with an 'a' between the b and l. Also, 'copal' is 'couple' when Ginny was thinking that sadly. After that, 'dormatory' (I know you didn't intend to spell this wrong because you got it right when you typed it beforehand), 'smileing' is without the 'e', 'experences' is 'experiences', 'portriat' is 'portrait'. Toward the end, you misspelled Gryffindor again (Wow, I'm being very nitpicking with this review. I apologize).
This songfic wasn't bad at all, considering it's your first one and all. Hell, it came out much better than mine ('Down Towards the Healing'). I don't even know what I wanted to go with that. But anyway, to prevent this from running on with what you did wrong and right with praises and what not (you know the drill), I shall end it here :D Author's Response: Don't worry about being nitpicky with the spelling. In fact I'm thanking God right now that someone found out those errors! They'll be taken care of as soon as I can manage it. And thank you so for the compliment and the review! Report Review
Milla really is a bit dense, no? Why was Ron acting cold towards her all of a sudden. *rolls eyes* I must admit, definetely loved the farting scene. Very original on your part so I tip my hat off to you, missy. But man, I do feel bad for your OC right now. All the things you're putting her through... No clothes, turning the knob the wrong way, Ron having a hissy fit over Zack liking her... Can't cut a break at all. It's fantastic hahahaah. Keep it up!Author's Response: A bit dense?? Please.... she won't have a break for a while!! It's what keeps this story alive!! Glad you enjoyed it!! Report Review
I KNEW IT!!! HE WAS DRUNK!! OH MAN!!! You have NO idea how hard it was for me to read this and not burst out laughing in the computer lab of my school (where there's currently only four people present, including myself). Brilliantly done and the hinted sense of uh... well, you know, emitted throughout this one-shot beautifully! I don't even think I could've done something like this. You have seriously found your element in writing :D, unlike me with my sappy, depressing stuff ^^;
Oh man, Cedric's movements and Harry's uneasiness made this so much more fun to read, especially with him kicking water at him. Also, with him being all 'buddy-buddy' when he leaned his head on Harry's shoulder, priceless! I think it would've been funnier if he yakked on him but it would've been a slight overkill. Anyway great job!Author's Response: Are you referring to the hinted sense of homosexuality that I shamelessly threw in there? After seeing that scene in HP4 that opening night we saw it on IMAX, you knew I had to do something about it, I would've never forgiven myself if I didn't! I guess you did end up liking the one-shot afterall, despite the ambilavance you expressed toward the little preview you got. Haha, good job on not laughing in the computer lab. Drawing attention to oneself on a college campus as you read HPFF is less than optimal...hahaha! Report Review
Great to see the explanation of the anatomy of a Reach finally. It makes sense scientifically, logically and physically. I guess it was a bit easier for me to understand since I'm taking a science class right now (I distilled wine and sucked fat from meat the past two days XD). I think you'll be getting that big understanding 'oh' after your numerous fans read this.
What I liked best about this chapter is the interaction with Harry and Lupin. From all the other fanfics I've read, the writer always puts them in good terms (myself included). Never have I thought Harry would carry a grudge against his former professor in this way. Again, the way you made them interact was very natural and logical since Lupind had been avoiding Harry, but not by choice. Of course, Harry being the person that he is, refuses to believe that. Talk about being egocentric. And I definetely loved the plug in Hermione telling them not to hold grudges because life is short, especially for them. They're at the brink of war so it's best to leave grudges out and get along and have ice cream :D
The ending of this chapter was very impacting and dramatically done. After all, if you lose hope, one does lose everything; even their sense of self. And Harry's desperate cling to this word and to Kally was a very symbolistic way in foreshadowing chapters to come. I look forward to your future chapters that are not in the same day *laugh*Author's Response: *sighs in relief* I have to admit that the Reach idea needs a bit more work, since I'm not the best with physics and the idea of energy manipulation has a lot to do with that arena of science! But for the purposes of this story (since JKR never explains how magic is possible to begin with) I figured this explanation would do just fine. I'm glad the Lupin thing wasn't too out-there. I didn't focus too much on that since the one time they have interacted in this story before, Harry was worried about Lupins' physical well-being, so it wasn't exactly a time to yell at the man. And Harry also had a lot to worry about asides from Lupin's lack of communication, but I didn't want to completely ignore the fact that Harry should be rightly ticked either. ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs to the store* You really found the ending dramatic!? That's making me grin insanely! I kind of felt that I botched the ending and never even thought of the clinging being symbolic! I like that explanation though so I'll have to go with that one! ^^ Report Review
Oh come on Hill! This chapter wasn't THAT bad! I admit, the part with Brooklyn and Harry wasn't your usual writing style, but it's a good change. I think a lot of people were expecting Brooklyn to hex him or beat him to a pulp for what he did, yet she restrained. I mean, if you kept them fighting, it gets boring after awhile. And the whole scene at the Burrow, PRICELESS! Your son is missing, perhaps being tortured by death eaters, yet they were all focusing on Harry's 'wedding band.' And you went completely complexy on Ginny when she confessed her dying love to him. I couldn't help but gape with my mouth open when I read that line. I still wonder what you were on when you typed that out... Along with that, her comment on Harry not being obligated to be married, can we say adulterer? I really wouldn't be surprised if she did do something to him when he was unconscious. You definetely brought out this stupidity gene in this chapter. Very hilarious and great job! It only took 15 days to be validated XDAuthor's Response: Not that bad means that it was bad in some places! And those places were everything after the break in the story. Oh how I so did not want to write that. Everything at the Burrow I willingly wrote though...haha. As for what I was on...absolutely nothing! It was simply done for effect...the summary should've given that away, idiocy being genetic and all. HAHA, 8 days for validation, 15 was chapter 17 ::rolls eyes while muttering about a certain email response given about the issue:: Report Review
Great chapter as usual. Balance of the Order was very well planned out with the explainations and theories that go on. You really took your time with this to think out what would and wouldn't work. I didn't expect anything less from you, HollyH. And happy 17th. You only get to be that once and then, bam! You're 21 ;_;.... Report Review
Ah the sappiness of it all... I guess I have my mixed opinions on the kiss in being meshed well with the rest of the plot. I mean, they're stuck in the mud and rain. Shouldn't they find somewhere warmer to 'cuddle up' if you get my drift? I love how Fawkes came so last minute after their lives were endangered. What was HE doing? Taking a stroll around Hogwarts? The reason for the war was very well thought out and explained. It reminds me of 'X-Men' when the humans were sending the mutants to concentration camps for them to be killed off. Of course, there were much resistance if you've read the comic or seen the cartoon. Definetely loved the WWII reference in there to match it all up and I love how the wizards think if they draw first blood, it'll justify their cause even more. What makes them think the muggles would even retaliate knowing of what they can't do to them. This was an extremely long chapter (I had to read it in two sittings rather than one O_O) and I'm sure your other fans appreciate that.Author's Response: hehehe Ah finding somewhere warmer would have been a good idea, but since when has Harry ever done anything normal. *grins evilly* hehehe *gets drift and laughs at what is planned in the future, even though you are fully aware of it* LOL Ah, poor Fawkes. My explanation for that is I just wanted to add in another action scene. I know, shameless right? Hehehe It's also a big forest though so it would probably take awhile to rule out other places. And ah, it has occured to me that this story is a bit similar (well the whole HP series is) to the Xmen series in that there are the humans, and then the good wizards and bad wizards. Just in the xmen there are the good mutants and bad ones. ^^ I haven't read the comics nor have I seen the cartoon, but I loved the movies and will hopefully get a comic as soon as I get a chance. :) And ah...I couldnt' resist throwing in the fact that human beings are in general, blood thirsty in masses, and thus the wizarding fear. ^^ Report Review
Ah Ginny, Ginny, Ginny. Always pretty but nothing up there. It was a very well written chapter nonetheless. As you said, you were being kim-esque for some apparent reason. I always love how you bring out Harry's paranoia so well it's to the point of annoyance. I just wanted to take his wand away and smack him upside the head. I mean, they were standing there, unflinching and not making a move yet he still thought they were going to attack. Can we say borderline delusions of paranoia? And I can't help but feel a bit bad for Ron; he's always the scapegoat for some reason... Author's Response: HAHA! Well, can you really blame the guy for being so paranoid? As for Ron, well, someone had to be taken and it obviously couldn't be Harry since he's The Chosen One and all. Ah and Ginny...you know how I love Ginny, I'm sure it shows how much I love her. If that wasn't dripping with sarcasm I don't know what was... Report Review
Wow you've made Ron the 'hero' for the moment, despite Lupin's guilt in turning him into a werewolf. Greatly written, as usual. Although you have small spelling mistakes here and there, it's forgivable. I can only imagine what Voldemort's going to do to Hermione. Poor girl... As for Harry and Kally, they're going to live. They have to! They are the main characters after all... Author's Response: Aw thanks Viv! lol I must admit I had a hard time writing Ron simply because while I wanted to show him maturing, I was having a very hard time picturing how he would ease Lupin's guilt! That's just what wound up coming out! lol And ah...I love the spelling mistakes of writing in the wee hours of the morning. One day I shall actually finish beta-reading this entire thing! lol And ah...I'm quite sure that you have a good idea of what is in store for Hermione. ^^ Just think of it this way, the Indians lost last night and that does not make me happy. And we all know what happens to innocent characters when I am not happy.... *scratches head* Main characters have to live? Really? *checks plot point* Oh darn.... Report Review
It's a very good and unique start to your story. A couple of spelling and grammatical errors here and there (you have a tendency of run-on sentences here.) I think to make this story better, you can separate your character's thoughts on a separate line with italics. That way, your readers won't get confused as they're reading the descriptions you write and then jumping into the character's thoughts. Keep it up! Report Review
Another great (but short) chapter from you, HollyH. I would say that voice is either this imagination or he's really speaking. Then again, with your plot twists it's practically impossible to figure out now eh? My favorite part of this chapter was the description of the house. I was always one for the old styles, one of which are Victorian. The other is gothic ^_^. However, I think you could have described it more with the stair banisters, windows, floor, and its furnishings. Other than that, I missed reading your stuff. It always gives me lots of ideas for my story, although the plots are completely different. Report Review
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