Reading Reviews From Member: SilverDarkHorse
  
51 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SilverDarkHorseIdentity: Of Boggarts And Brothers

9th February 2015:
It's nice to see Remus and Dora reunited of course, but I still think that Remus deserves a punch to the face for treating Sirius and Harry - his family - so summarily.

And I'm going to be very blunt here, and I don't mean to be unkind, but the constant emphasis on Draco Malfoy - especially the increasing rapport between him and Hermione - is making me lose interest in the story. Malfoy never interested me as a character (though his development in Innocent held my attention very well).

I also feel a little as if Malfoy is ursurping Ron's importance in the friendship group. For example, Draco effectively took over Ron's sacrifice during the chess match with the giant chess set in Initiate - leaving Ron as only a useless sort of sidekick. I love your Ron-POV sections, but I think he's not getting enough credit in his friendship group.

But as Malfoy happens to be probably the most popular character and adored by most fans, I guess we'll be seeing much, much more of him all the time.

And anyway, I guess that's what happens when you come for the Marauders, but the storyline inevitably evolves into Hogwarts era.

Apart from that, the story is great, as usual. Tom-Ginny storyline promises to be interesting.

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Review #2, by SilverDarkHorseLove is for Fools: Not a Fool

8th February 2015:
Hello, I'm here with your requested review!

My first impression is that this story is very good. You've said that the writing style is a new one for you; I think you've used second person very effectively. It flows smoothly and a little slowly, giving the reader time to absorb the details and really feel the angst. I caught two places where a semi-colon instead of a comma might help to improve the flow:

"...sound annoys you more than it should, the creature would never understand your grief."

and "...hanging haphazardly over the edges of the drawers, his appearance was of utmost importance to him".

Description is excellent. The details about Buckbeak, the dust covering the dresser, Sirius' interest in his appearance all play their part in hooking the reader in. The progression of the story is effective too; starting off with their friendship, then going on to Remus' suffering, and finally his thoughts about death.

Remus was perfectly in character. It was very clear that he was heartbroken - the comments about "quiet suffering" and not wanting his feelings to hinder their friendship were very effective, and true to Remus. At the same time, the common sense that is a hallmark of his character comes through - "What good is it doing you to sit here when he is gone beyond the veil never to return?". You've also given the reader a shred of hope at the end: "And you hoped it was too." It balances out the angst very well. Sirius' characterisation comes across well too.

I think the two most potent lines are these:

"“Love,” he always said, “love is for fools, and I, Sirius Black, am not a fool.”

and "Zonkos,” Sirius once told you, “if there is a heaven, I hope it’s exactly like Zonkos.”

Overall, a very effective piece of writing, and one that made me very sad (in the best way possible, of course :D).

SilverDarkHorse x.

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Review #3, by SilverDarkHorseAfter Waking: Chapter One

25th January 2015:
Hi there. Your beautiful banner in the newly added stories list caught my eye. Then I saw Lupin, Sirius and Regulus in the other characters list, and simply had to click on this!

I like your story so far. It's hard to make a female OC work in first person without her coming off as Mary-Sue, but you have done it well. Your use of the names Mary and Anna is also great - simple but elegant, suited to royalty. And I am extemely tired of the usual Katelyns and Jades which are much more contemporary than you find in the Marauder era.

The story seems intriguing; what with poisonings and royal suspects and poor Anna/Mary trying to fit in with-ahem-commoners. I also see plenty of potential for humour here. Her slightly snobbish attitude adds an interesting angle to the story.

Strangely, your story reminds me very much of The Secret Garden - Mary's ayah dying, Mary being packed off to place she has very little chance of fitting in to...

The only discrepancy of sorts I can find is this: "I closed my eyes tightly as they drug the man from the room." I'm not quite sure whether "drug" is common in American English, but usually "dragged" is a better form of the verb to use.

And I would like to see a bit more detail into Anna's thoughts and feelings, so as to create a more immersive story.

That said, it was a lovely chapter, and I hope to read more of this story soon.

SilverDarkHorse x.

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Review #4, by SilverDarkHorsea little bit of coolness.: a silky dress and a happy birthday.

22nd January 2015:
Hiya. Here for our review swap!

So, it's my first time reading a Scorose :D

The first thing that struck me about the chapter is the lovely use of detail, particluarly in the introductory paragraph. The mention of frost on the windows and Hermione's beautiful voice really drew me into the story, and made a good mental image.

It's nice to see Ron and Hermione being a united couple. You've got Ron down pat - the outspokenness, the bias towards Gryffindors, but at the same time, you can see the love he has for his daughter shining through.

Rose seems to have a slight inferiority complex? "Not likely to happen to someone as plain or quiet as me." Or maybe she's just brutally honest? She's very much a teenager despite her brains and interest in studies, and that's good to see.

Ahaha Scorpius tells a lot of lies. So Rose is very honest about her friends, too.

The description of Rose at the end is lovely. It's very sad that she thinks her beauty is an illusion for her birthday - but maybe she'll find out that it's not.

Altogether, a good chapter. Very enjoyable. Beautiful little details, and nice characterisation. I'm glad I got a chance to read this! Keep writing :D

SilverDarkHorse x.

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Review #5, by SilverDarkHorseDefining Moments: Chapter 1 - Sirius

17th January 2015:
Ha. Julianne Price, that real estate firm up Flinder's Street?

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Review #6, by SilverDarkHorseIdentity: Old And New

10th January 2015:
Welcome back (again!)

Great chapter as usual, though I very much miss the 6K-7K chapters of the Innocent era (hint, hint).

I love the spirit you've shown Ginny possessing. Very true to what I believe Ginny to be. She could easily take down Percy any day. Nice little reference to Fred and George's fraternal bond with Ginny, too. It would also have been very interesting if the diary fell into Percy's hands. SOme nice little plot arcs and spinoffs are already assaulting me...:P

Wonderful to see Sirius and Remus again. You write Sirius so exquisitely. And Remus ah, the puir wee laddie. Digs himself into his own grave, he does. Maybe Harry can bring him 'round in a while, though.

There's a slight issue with the formatting; the space between scenes is unequal in this one. HPFF glitch, maybe?

Since it's still holidays, can we hope for a longer chapter next time?

Cheers, mate,
SilverDarkHorse x.

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Review #7, by SilverDarkHorseIdentity: A Chance Meeting

26th December 2014:
This was a great boxing-day present! Thank you! I hope you had a great Christmas - were you in Adelaide for Christmas?

I feel terrible for Remus and Dora. I do hope he gets his act together soon. As an avid Remus-Dora lover, I still hope for a wedding :/

I liked the glimpse of Ginny. This is as she should be, not like the spineless creature portrayed in the films.

Loved seeing Sirius again a lot, too. You've concentrated so much on Malfoy recently, that I felt quite deprived of Sirius. It was a little bit of heaven to read about him again :D

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Review #8, by SilverDarkHorseIdentity: Choices Made

29th November 2014:
Welcome baaack! This is so exciting! What a great start to the new book.

But...my poor Remus :'(I don't think he'll stop Dora from going...maybe he should go with her? It will be difficult for him to get a job there, though. Maybe they should get married before she goes (yes, please forgive my fixation, but I am extremely fond of those two). I really enjoyed this glimpse into Remus' mind. He never can catch a good break, can he? First he thought his best friend had died, and now this. But surprising that Dora didn't pick up on his sadness. She's usually quite sharp.

I loved the explanation why Azakaban isn't the worse possible punishment for a Ravenclaw. An interesting and valid point, and one that should provide an answer for people who thought Quirrel's punishment insufficent. I also like that particular scene because you've shown us how much Sirius has grown and matured (again). He's concerned, but can channel that into a productive cause - making sure Quirrel cannot hurt anyone, rather than being angry and rash. Interestingly, it's often from other people's POVs that we can see how much he's grown :)

Good for Narcissa. Now that's a REAL resourceful Slytherin. Not being a Draco fan, all I can say is poor him. But he'll manage anyway.

It was a good first chapter, and already looking forward to the next one!

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Review #9, by SilverDarkHorseSeven: Seven is the most magical of numbers.

22nd October 2014:
Hi! Here for review swap :)

Oh my goodness.

My first heartfelt reaction to this piece is that it's so beautiful. It's got such a lovely poetic feel to it. It sucked me in and took me on a tumultous ride.

My next response is to your use of the number 7 *insert applause* How on earth did you get EACH paragraph to work so well in multiples of 7? And each paragraph was a complete story in itself, while working in harmony with all the others.

"He knew the hat chose him for this reason, to be brothers with these three." That sentence is very poignant; it sums up Sirius' loyalty so well.

Your portrayal of Dorcas and Sirius' relationship is perfect. Just the right amount of detail to be beautiful without being overly graphic. Haunting, too. :'(

And Sirius taking Prong's hand, and afterwards, in Azkaban. The imagery is so good. And finally, the freedom - I can actually feel the revenge coursing through my veins as well!

And then the tumult - Harry, Remus, OOTP mobilised, Bellatrix's madness...and finally, death. I like the repetition of the noble Sirius Orion Black, it ties the story very nicely together at the end.

It was so well written, you really made me feel connected to Sirius throughout the piece. Well done!

Author's Response: Hey there!

Ugh! So sorry that it took me so long to respond to this completely amazing and wonderful review!

So excited that you felt the poetry. I was trying for a sort of rhythm with the words and I don't have a lot of experience with that, so it was so nice to hear that it works!

Eeep! You like my Dorcas/Sirus paragraph. It was a challenge to get through their entire relationship in 112 words, so I let out a little squee that you felt it worked so well.

I actually did a bit of research about Sirius on this one. The reason the dementors didn't affect him as much as the other prisoners is due to the fact that he knew he wasn't guilty. So I tried to portray that he held on to his conviction that he was going to avenge James and condemn Peter.

Oh, thank you so much for this!

♥ Beth


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Review #10, by SilverDarkHorseInitiate: Aches And Pains

22nd September 2014:
Your update was quite late last night! I waited around for ages, but finally fell asleep :P

I believe that Sirius is alive. You've given us fair reason to think so in your information about how the veil works two chapters ago.

IMHO, killing Sirius off would be a great loss to your story. J.K. did so to deprive Harry of all father figures, and reinforce the "lone hero" ideal; as far as I can see, your story follows a different moral compass. I, for one, read the story ONLY because of Sirius and Remus - it's the best Sirius-and-Remus-are-actually-explored-to-their-full-potential story out there, and the loss of one or the other would make me stop reading the story pronto.

You've invested such a lot into Sirius, he's come such a long way, developed so well as a person throughout your series, that I refuse to believe that he's dead.

Moving on, McGonagall is so irritating. She wantonly refuses to see past the end of her nose. Bleh.

A pox upon the person of King. An even worse pox upon the person of Umbridge.

As ususal, your writing in those areas was superb. It was nice to see Florence again, too. I did feel, however, that the scenes with Remus and Harry could have been a little more emotional - the thought of losing your best friend/father would generate more angst than I felt the scenes displayed.

Other than that, it was brilliant. Please don't keep us waiting for ages (Serpent Sworn times, anyone?)but bring Sirius into the picture again, soon! Maybe an early update?

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Review #11, by SilverDarkHorseInitiate: King And Croaker

13th September 2014:
Hello there! Long time. I've spent this entire morning catching up on the story so far, and it's just as delightful as I always remembered.

The minute Croaker took Sirius into the Department of Mysteries, my spidey sense started tingling. I'm going to trust my instincts though, and say that Sirius is most certainly Not Dead. If you went to the trouble of resurrecting him after J.K killed him, only to end up offing him halfway through your book, it's a pretty poor lookout for us! So HE IS ALIVE.

I wonder who whispered to him from beyond the veil. James? Regulus? I would wish :P

Poor Snape, too. And poor Draco. He must be very frustrated.

Does Harry know yet that Sirius is "dead?" I guess unless Sirius found very soon in the next chapter, Remus will have to look after Harry - poor Harry! I can't bear to think of how he'll feel :'(

I would actually have felt much more sorry for Snape, but my quota of feels is thoroughly invested in Sirius.

Your ingenious (and cruel) penchant for cliffhangers is torturing me. Please give us a happy ending to next week's chapter - at least as a start to the mid-sem break :/

SO good to be back with a review! Sirius, I believe you are alive!

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Review #12, by SilverDarkHorseMarius: The Tale of Martin Corner

11th June 2014:
Hello there! I saw your post asking for help with cricket, and as an obsessive cricket-freak, came here to scout out your stories :)

This one-shot was very enjoyable. A nice glimpse into Marius' life - and also a beginning to Michael Corner's line, I guess? It was well-written, but a bit more detail like fleshing out Professor Pendlebury's and Christopher's reactions to Martin wouldn't go amiss, I think.

Btw, you can spell cricket with a simple "c" :)

I've also added a reply with a few links on cricket to your forum post - I hope you'll find it helpful :) And there is another author here named Sheriff who is actually a cricket coach - so if you ask him he might help you out :)

All the best with your writing! I look forward to more cricket :D

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Review #13, by SilverDarkHorseSnake Bites: The Borthwick Ward

1st May 2014:
Hello again, and here is one of my promised reviews :)
You've described the action at the beginning vividly, I was able to visualize it as I read, so well done on that.

Now Charlie has a magical imprint? That certainly opens up a field of plot arcs. Should be interesting if you decide on a sequel.

Ha I love angry Greg! I would love to see a confrontation where Greg emerges victorious, but I certainly wouldn't want to be in the line of fire. Greg is rather mature for a twenty three year old.

Some more Lucas - I like him. It must be awful to have a brother like Kevin.

Thanks for the French-English translation at the end, as I am from a country where we don't learn French at all.

Lastly, how did you come up with the name "Borthwick" for the ward? I immediately thought of Scott Borthwick, legspinner for Durham :D

It was a brilliant chapter as always, and I'll be back soon to review some more :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

Thanks for another review and glad you picked out the description and scene setting as I know that's one thing I've tried to work on in recent chapters as my stories can often end up being heavy on dialogue and reaction and light on atmosphere.

Charlie's magical imprint is a definite candidate for experiment with a sequel or perhaps a one-shot (Snakes and Ladders needs finishing before I start any new epics!) as I'd like to explore Charlie and Connor's next steps in coping with the magical world.

This Lucas has helped a good deal with the characterisation of the younger Lucas and vice versa. I can definitely see the little boy fascinated by healing spells becoming a Healer on leaving school. Also I think Greg gets angrier before too long.

Finally, yes, that's pretty much it, although "leg spinner" is pushing it. It's named after the wizarding relatives of Scott Borthwick who placed a Confundus charm of such strength on the England selectors that they got young Scott confused with an Test-standard cricketer. Sadly it also convinced them that Jade Dernbach was good enough, too.

Thanks again

Sheriff


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Review #14, by SilverDarkHorseSnakes and Ladders: Water Leapers

28th April 2014:
Hello :)
Nice to see you're back again. I enjoyed your story Snake Bites very much, although I haven't got around to reviewing it yet - sorry about that.

I love Greg's character. You've done a good job of changing people's perceptions about Slytherin through him. I'm intrigued by Lucas Brand as well - he has the potential to become an important character in your universe.

I like this twelve year old Greg, but I like the twenty three year old Greg better!

Although this would be better said in a review for SB, I really love the dynamic between Greg and Dan. It's more a fraternal bond, I feel, than a student-teacher relationship. In your chapter Stygian Flames, when Greg is trapped inside the house, Dan says "and it's my...my teacher who's trapped". Am I right in thinking that he wanted to say "brother" or "father" or perhaps "friend" in place of teacher, as hinted by the pause?

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks for the review; always nice to have some positive unsolicited feedback! Greg's very much the heart of my universe and having written 2.3 books about him now his character is really starting to get the depth. You can also spot a little bit of reverse foreshadowing with Lucas' interest in healing spells leading to his future employment at St Mungo's.

You'd also be pretty much spot-on with your observations about Dan and Greg in Stygian Flames, though I'm not really sure Dan knew what he want to say in the heat of that particular moment. I look forward to the full review of Snake Bites that follows... ;-)

I'm not sure how much writing I'll get done over the next few months as the cricket season will kick off and dominate my life - but I will keep chipping away at Snakes & Ladders... I've managed three paragraphs of the next chapter so far, but I know what's going to happen!

Thanks again
Sheriff


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Review #15, by SilverDarkHorseThe Function of a Rubber Duck: Discovering the Function

29th March 2014:
Hello :)

I loved this one-shot! Very sweet. The Arthur-Ginny interaction was heartwarming, as it is not something we see much of in canon.

I like the analogy of Charlie's dragon toy. Adds interest to the story, as do the little details like Molly's fluffy pink bathrobe and matching slippers.

You've got the same great eye for detail and ability to invoke emotions that I noticed in your story about the Potters' wedding, but this story is much better paced, and is altogether more successful.

Great job!

Cheers, mate :)

Author's Response: First off - so sorry for the late response! I had a mini vacation.
And thank you so much for your review! I am particularly proud of this one shot, and it's been received very well. I like it so much more than The Wedding, which was really just my attempt to write something Marauders era.
I'm glad you liked the bit about Charlie's dragon and the interaction between Arthur and Ginny! I wanted to make it interesting, as it is so short, so I'm glad those both worked.
Thank you again very much for your review, it makes my day to see people enjoying what I write. :)

-the ghost of his last laugh


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Review #16, by SilverDarkHorseInitiate: The Professor's Intervention

29th March 2014:
Hello :)

This is a very late review because uni has been throttling me, but here goes...

I loved the Harry - Ron - Draco interaction. Particularly Ron, you've done an amazing job with him! I absolutely love the way you introduced Morgana and James' card collection - it was from Brothers, if my memory is correct?

Erh Hydrus is an awful, irritating little prat. So Ron caught Hermione when she was about to fall...do I sense a bit of Romione in the making? I like the way Harry and Ron defended her - a glimpse of the golden trio :)

Classic Moony - a sixth sense for detecting trouble! Hydrus is quite the coward behind his arrogant demeanour. I also loved the way you've brought "Brothers" into this again, with the silver skin because Reg was so pure :P That sort of small detail really enriches the story.

It was nice to have a bit of time in Moony's head - you haven't given us much of that lately. I do think however, that Remus' character development so far is a tad slow in comparison to Sirius', for example. I have not seen any marked development after he got his act together and asked Dora out. You've shown clearly how Remus sees Harry's and James' differences. I feel that Remus could be a bit more assertive, however.

Poor Harry - it's a reality check for him to rediscover the fact that he is famous :(

Frankly, I'm not fussed about Draco's sorting. My personal opinion is that he would do well in Ravenclaw, but I do know that you'll have an amazing plot arc for him regardless of the house you choose for him!

I'm more worried about Harry's and Ron's sorting. I pray that they are in Gryffindor! We could all do with some golden trio awesomeness :)

I missed Sirius in this chapter. Hopefully he'll make an appearance tomorrow - and how about a bit of Sirius/Marlene soon, please?

Altogether a brilliant chapter. Looking forward to more.

Cheers, mate :)

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Review #17, by SilverDarkHorseWide Awake : I Shot the Sheriff

18th March 2014:
Hello :)

I first came across this story some months ago on Mugglenet fanfiction, and read it with interest, but lost track of it after some time. Imagine my delight when I accidentally stumbled across it here!

I love your characterisation of James, and of Peter. The sensitive side of the former is something that you have written well. I also appreciate the fact that you've given Peter a bit of a brain and an ability to think - without making him the usual moron :)

I look foward to reading the rest of the chapters, and a sequel, should you decide to write one!

Author's Response: Hello!

Are you sure you read it on Mugglenet fanfiction? I don't think I've posted this story there ... maybe you're thinking of fanfictiondotnet? Whatever, that's beside the point. Thank you for coming back :DDD

James is such a little goofball, but I love it. I feel like a lot of fics portray him as "boy wonder" but I wanted to show his sensitive side. And Peter, oh Peter! He's probably my favorite character to write, simply because he hides in plain sight. If you continue to read on to the latest chapters, you'll see what I mean ;)

I've actually decided not to write a sequel, but believe me, this story will still be action packed and full of drama. There will a JK style epilogue, tho.

Thanks for the review, I really appreciate it XD


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Review #18, by SilverDarkHorseInitiate: Aboard The Hogwarts Express

16th March 2014:
Hello :)

This is a very short review as I bunked my schoolwork for this, and should be getting back to it soon :(

Padfoot was great - ever the parent. Brilliant advice - cause trouble, but don't get caught! You've shown the softer, less secure side of him so well here - it's evident that he is going to miss Harry very, very much :')

It was lovely to see Ron - he's one of my favourites, and you've done a great job with him :) I'm so happy that he and Harry are friends. I always loved the golden trio.

No Blaise yet? I'm sure we'll be seeing him at the sorting, though?

Draco is an interesting character. If I were Ron, I would not have been able to abstain from punching his face in :P

Looking forward to the sorting - I do hope Harry is in Gryffindor! I think it suits him best :)

Brilliant chapter, as usual, and I eagerly await more. Oh well, back to shadow calculations for me now :(

Cheers, mate! :D

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Review #19, by SilverDarkHorseInitiate: A Place To Belong

9th March 2014:
Oooh yippeee! Almost Hogwarts :D I really enjoyed this chapter, particularly the last part :P

Lovely to see Ron again. Your portrayal of him is absolutely smashing. His self-esteem issues were very evident. No Ron, you are NOT nothing - you're brilliant, empathetic, genuine and an awesome person! And Ginny was very well done, too - not just a stupid fangirl like many make her out to be, but a complex person. The twins' mockery of Percy was hilarious :D I feel a stab of sympathy for ol' Weatherby there.

Blaise would fall right into Slytherin house - except for the fact that love, and not ambition, is his driving power. (But of course, there were Snape and Regulus who had plenty of loving abilty too). I still think Ravenclaw would suit Blaise well. Oh Giovanna is a cold-blooded murderess - that part of the story was particularly chilling.

The interaction between Hermione and her mother was heartwarming! I can identify with it - both my parents were anxious when sending their only daughter off to uni in a far-away country :'(

Looks like Snape's lessons are paying off on Draco :) I've come to enjoy your portrayal of Narcissa - particularly the dynamic between Narcissa and Snape.

And of course the Marauders - MY FAVOURITE PART YAYYY :D Hmmm looks like Remus is going to have some fun :P I hope Sirius will drop by to visit often - I'm dying for more Remus-Sirius banter :)

As usual, I enjoyed the little details - Hagrid carrying the Marauders, Padfoot's doggy breath, Blaise's bolognaise etc, really livens up the story :)

Can't wait for next week! I presume the sorting will be either next week or the week after?

Cheers, mate! :)

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Review #20, by SilverDarkHorseAdvising Sirius: Chapter 1

8th March 2014:
Hello :)

I REALLY enjoyed this! The last line was perfect :D Aaaah Blackinnon! Write more and more and more and more, please - especially Sirius/Marlene ones!

Author's Response: Hello :)

Glad you enjoyed this one too, I shall see about the more thing...

Thanks for the review
LR
x


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Review #21, by SilverDarkHorseConsoling Sirius: Consoling Sirius

8th March 2014:
Hello :)

I really enjoyed this one-shot. A refreshing take on the famous "day-after".

I'm a huge Sirius/Marlene fan, so it was a treat to read such a well-written story. I like the idea of Marlene being a Ravenclaw - people generally sort her into Gryffindor.

The process of Marlene talking to and consoling Sirius is easy to read, methodical, and makes a lot of sense - in fact, it is comforting to the reader as well as Sirius! :)

Good job, and keep it up :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it, I very much enjoyed writing it for your pleasure :P

I've role-played versions of her in both houses, this was just the one I rolled with for this fic and it works quite well for me, so I'm glad it does for you too!

Thanks for the review :D
LR
x


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Review #22, by SilverDarkHorseThe Wedding: I Do

7th March 2014:
Hello :)

I enjoyed this one-shot. Jily is my OTP, and I am always on the lookout for new stories.

James, Lily and Sirius were all well written. I thought a little more Remus would not have been amiss.

The little details at the beginning - the sweat on James's forehead, the leaves falling from the trees etc were lovely, and add interest to the story. The latter half of the tale would benefit from a few similar touches.

The tempo at the end is a bit rushed - pace it out a bit more, and perhaps you could switch between different POVs? It would add interest to an already good story.

Overall, it is quite good for a first attempt. Keep it up, and you could throw out some great one-shots soon!

Cheers, mate :)

Author's Response: Hi!
First off, thank you so much for the review. It seriously brightens my day.

I tried so hard to write them well! I'm glad you noticed, and that I even got close haha. And I wanted to write Remus in a little bit more. When I had the idea, he wasn't in it at all. But what's a marauder wedding without Moony? I agree that he could've been in it more, but I really wanted to focus on James in particular.

The ending is where I sort of got lost...because I wanted it to be relatively short, which it definitely is, and the tension is the main focus. But looking back, I think I might edit a bit, especially with description.

Thank you so much for your critique! I find it very helpful, and I'll tinker with the ending. And thank you for even reviewing at all. :)


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Review #23, by SilverDarkHorseInitiate: The Break-In

2nd March 2014:
A brilliant chapter! Three cheers for the Remus-Sirius bits :D

I was excited to see the birthday Harry scene! At least he got his letter. Incidentally, it is my birthday too today - 21 years old and still no letter for me! I REFUSE to be a muggle :'(

The exchange with Draco was a nice contrast to that same scene in cannon. Also, the comparison between Hydrus and Draco - one like Lucius, the other like Narcissa - was interesting. Did Harry's face fall because Draco's statement came across as an insult to the Weasleys?

An inferius goblin - that is very dark and scary. At least Brown didn't hash anything up this time.

Poor dear Moony. Was it Quirrel trying to dispose of Remus so he can bag the Defence job at Hogwarts? Or kill Remus and use his hair for Polyjuice and pretend to be Remus teaching DADA...

I admit it was rather odd at first to think of Dora and Remus sharing...What was the rude hand gesture Remus did? Did he flip Sirius the finger or something similar? And Dora hitting her head on the bed side table - that exchange with Sirius was hilarious.

The Animagi-Inferius-mind-link explanation was enlightening.

Overall, an awesome chapter! Well, considering that uni starts again this week, hope you'll have time to read and respond to reviews :)

Cheers, mate, and here's to many more exciting chapters :D

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Review #24, by SilverDarkHorseInitiate: New Names

27th February 2014:
Well, here's a very late review :)

Engaging chapter, as usual. Hermione was brilliant - all eager to learn and discuss the magical world :) Harry is such a careless diddums - errrhhh... muggle-ish indeed :P Poor Sirius; he is one heck of a brilliant Auror, and his godson has to slip-up so!

Blaise appears to be holding his own rather well. Interestingly Slytherin characteristics, I would say. He and Draco seem to have a bit of common ground. I also think both of them would do well in Ravenclaw - they are observant, and their thought processes are very advanced for eleven-year-olds.

Overall, the sorting scene should be interesting - I am definitely looking forward to that!

Were Astoria and Draco the cannon couple you were referring to? I know you can't give anything away yet :P Just a rhetorical question :) I did see smacks of Harry/Ginny too, earlier on (when Harry keeps Ginny's drawing in his pocket during the Padfoot-trial scenario)...I am rather fond of the cannon couples, I hope you would consider them :) And I absolutely despise Draco/Hermione - it just seems so very wrong...

Crabbe eating soup with his fork - hahaha!! I am ashamed to admit I tried that out :P Didn't work out too badly :P

Of course, I missed Sirius and Remus very badly this chapter. However, even if you spend the next ten years writing ONLY about them, I would still ask for more :D !

I forgot to ask earlier, in the final chapter of Innocent, what is the dream that Sirius has? The one he "makes a conscious decision" not to tell Marlene about?

Spiffing chapter! I eagerly await to devour more-and more-and more... :)

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Review #25, by SilverDarkHorseFurry Little Problem: Moony

25th February 2014:
Hello :)

Aaaah this was so sweet! I loved the as-sertive Remus - would love to see more of him in Initiate *hint*. It was also incredibly cute when he began to cry haha :')

Peter is an insensitive jerk...James and Sirius have an inordinate amount of patience to put up with him! I would have chucked him out of the window ages ago!

I take it that this is the Aunt Catherine that Sirius impersonated in Innocent? I love that kind of throwback :D

The interplay when Remus snipes about Sirius' family was interesting. Oof.

Skateseer...Shakybeer...how did you come up with those names?!

This was Brilliant! I would love to read something focusing on Sirius and Mr. and Mrs. Potter. I'm sure you'd write it excellently :)

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