Reading Reviews From Member: milominderbinder
  
117 Reviews Found

Review #1, by milominderbinderDoing the Right Thing: Doing the Right Thing

22nd August 2014:
Hiya! Here for our review swap!

I really enjoyed reading this! I don't read a lot
of Draco stories - mostly because they usually
have pairings I don't like, haha - but I'm glad I
read this one. I think you got Draco's
characterisation spot on.

I love how you got right to the point at the very
beginning. Starting with those three short,
fragmented sentences - his orders - really set the
tone of urgency for the story, and showed the
importance of the mission. It was a great way to
start as it really draws the reader in and has
them feeling that tense atmosphere from the very
start.

I'm also so impressed you managed to write this in
exactly 1000 words! I wrote an exactly 500 words
story and it almost killed me, it's so hard to cut
it down to the exact right amount! So yeah extreme
kudos there.

My favourite quotes were:

Get in, cause a distraction, then get out of
the way. I repeated my orders to myself again.


^I love the repetition of his orders, it really
gives an insight into his mind and how focused he
is at the start here.

Killing a man in his sleep? Where was the
honor in that? There was none.


^We rarely get to see a moral side of Draco in
canon but there is always the sense that he DOES
have these moral qualms so I think it's really in
character for him to think like this, and I really
liked it.

I had been predestined for this life before I
was conceived. I was born a Death Eater, and I
should die as one as well.


^I love stories which explore the idea of fate and
people going against what should be their 'fate'.
It's always so powerful because it shows that at
the basis of everything is personal choice, even
if that choice is incredibly hard to make, and
that's something I really strongly believe in. I
loved how you used that theme here.

You have about one minute to prepare yourself,
Minister.


^I loved this ending! I think it ended at the
perfect moment. We get to see Draco's decision to
warn the minister, without seeing the
consequences. Because it's not about what happens
next, it's about him making that choice, no matter
what the outcome. Even though it ends suddenly
and we don't know what happens next, it's not
really a cliffhanger, because we've had resolution
on Draco's choice and seen him make the right
decision, which is incredibly lovely to read.

So yeah, I thought this story was really good!
Well done, and thanks for the swap!

~Maia

Author's Response: Haha, I may be a bit biased about that whole Draco-pairing statement, as I have only ever seen him with Roxi, lol!! But anyways, I do know what you mean there. If you ever DO wanna know more about where Draco's story goes from here, however, then I encourage you to check out my Novel: :Love, Not War: also. =)

Hitting the 1000 word mark, and hitting it perfectly was SOOO hard!!! There was SO MUCH more that I wanted to add in here, and then I wanted the ending to be longer to show that Rudolphus was captured too. But, alas, there was just not enough space to allow all that, haha. XD

So I basically agree with everything you just said about people going against their supposed "fate". This one particular choice definitely causes Draco quite a bit of grief later on down the road tho. If you do decide to read the Novel, you will see the outcome of this mission first-hand. But it also ends up being his salvation, as he ends up getting a second-chance to change himself by the end of everything. You'll just have to read on if you wanna know anything more that that tho, haha!! ;)

I would love to review-swap with you again some time, if you are interested. Thank so much for the great read, and again for this wonderful review. I love it when people point out what their favorite moments in my stories are!! (:

~Deana~


 Report Review

Review #2, by milominderbinderHow to Fly: How to Fly

21st August 2014:
Review tag!

Wow, this was SO sweet. I've written a 500 word story and I don't feel I managed to put NEARLY the amount of emotion you did into it. That last line had be almost tearing up, it was incredible.

So many fics I read are about Rose as a teenager and seem to completely ignore her relationship with Hermione. But Hermione is one of my favourite characters in the universe and I think she would be an amazing mother; I wish there were more fics that showed her relationship with Rose.

I could also really feel the love between Hermione and Ron just in the way she saw parts of him in Rose, which was so sweet, and it worked really well.

You used the repetition and motif of flying perfectly. Not too often so that it lost meaning, but enough that it reinforced the idea, and just turned it into an incredibly poignant sentiment.

This was amazing, well done!

~Maia

Author's Response: Hi Maia,

Thank you for this. I'm so touched by this review, you don't even know. I actually think that Hermione would find motherhood really challenging, she was so book smart - and most of the stuff you need to know when you're a mom (I can attest from experience - haha), isn't in any book.

I'm so glad you mentioned about Hermione's and Ron's relationship. Seeing your partner in your child is one of the best things about being a parent.

Thanks again for this review! It really made my day!

Beth


 Report Review

Review #3, by milominderbinderComplicated: In Which Draco Malfoy Makes A Joke

21st August 2014:
Review tag!

I actually reviewed chapter one of this for review tag the other day too, haha, and I really liked it so I'm glad I got to read the next chapter now!

The howler thing was great! Weirdly I hardly ever see them crop up in fics... you'd think they'd be a much more popular device, haha.

I really like Cassie and Scorpius. I think you introduced them really well here, and we really got a feel for their relationship and their relationship with Olivia, too. It's obvious they're all really close, and you can feel the loyalty in that friendship, even though they kind of tease each other you can feel that they love each other too. I'm glad Olivia has friends like that, when she's going through something so tough!

You write dialogue very well! Though there wasn't a ton of plot in this chapter really, I feel like we really got to know the characters well through their dialogue. That can be a hard thing to make sound natural, so well done.

One thing I'd mention is that formatting wise, there were some pretty big spaces between lines here? But it doesn't detract from the story too much, and I know extremely well how tricky hpff's editor can be about things like that, so I wouldn't worry about it too much! But if you ever edit this chapter that's one thing to think about.

~Maia

Author's Response: Hello again!

I'm so glad you enjoyed the howler. I think they're so much fun and am surprised they're not used here more often.

Cassie and Scorpius are some of my favourites to write and I think their friendship with Olivia is (while not uncomplicated0 something special so thank you for picking up on that :)

The spacing is definitely something I need to edit. I just can't quite bring myself to do it...but I will one day, I promise.

Thanks for the lovely review!

Emma x


 Report Review

Review #4, by milominderbinderLike So Much Red Wine: shattered glass, cracked porcelein, buckled steel

20th August 2014:
review tag!

I liked this! I don't read many Snape stories and I always find them interesting, especially seeing his POV on events we already have seen in canon. It was really interesting to see how you wove this whole story out of just those few lines we have in canon, yet it never felt drawn out or unnecessary at all. It totally felt like a whole separate scene, in a way, but also not because it linked to the original so perfectly.

You characterised Snape really well. I could totally see his canon character here, but expanded on perfectly. You showed him in such an interesting way, I really love it. It kind of emphasises just how much he's always lived in denial about certain things.

So yeah, I loved this! Well done!

~Maia

Author's Response: Ah! So glad you mentioned denial! That was a BIGGIE here.

Me and Snape--oh man. I don't ship him, because I LOVE him horrible and old and petulant and bitter (and heroic). SO MUCH. He's my favorite character for being so complicated.

THANK YOU for your wonderful interpretation of this--it's so great to see that what I intended came across!

AND PS: I'm having SUCH a hard time not reading/reviewing all your stuff, because I REALLY wanna. BUT CHALLENGE ENTRIES. I promise I'm not playing favorites, but in the event you win, I want something left for the prizes!!!

PPS: Your sig on the forums super makes the song "Never Forget You" by the Noisettes get stuck in my head! Check it!


 Report Review

Review #5, by milominderbinderPlaying for Keeps: Shooting Star, After Midnight

20th August 2014:
Hiya! I'm here from the Ravenclaw review battle!

Wow, I REALLY loved this. I pretty much just chose the most recent thing on your author's page to review without thinking about it, so the awesomeness of this kind of took me by surprise!

This is such an original idea, which is something that you don't find so much in next gen stories. I had never even thought of the possibility of a wizarding casino before!

You captured the atmosphere perfectly. It all felt so tense, glamorous somehow with with a dark side. Your description of the game was great - sometimes when describing a game like this people slip into, like, 'and then i hit the ball and then i hit another ball and then i won', but you wrote it in such an interesting way, you could really feel the weight of each shot, and were eager to see the outcome.

I also love how your character uses her femininity against the guy. That'll teach him to get cocky just because she's a woman! She totally played it up right to the end, which I think is great. Women using misogyny to their advantage is always amazing to me, ahaha.

Overall I loved this, and I love your writing style! Well done!

~Maia

 Report Review

Review #6, by milominderbinderComplicated: In Which Christmas Is Not The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

19th August 2014:
Hiya! Iím here from review tag on the forums!

I really liked reading this. Olivia is so funny, her internal monologue had me laughing so much. This is probably a random thing to pick up on but I really liked that sheís a Slytherin. Thatís somehow still pretty rare in Next Gen fics, I think, and I always find it really refreshing to read Slytherin OCs who arenít just mindlessly evil antagonists.

I also found it so interesting to see the parents - especially how the Oliver and Katie were getting on now, but also your take on Pansy! It was so interesting and I think you really realistically developed them from their characters in the novels into adults here. And I actually felt so bad for Pansy when the whole cheating thing came out :( It reminded me of the scene in Love Actually where the wife thinks he is going to give her a diamond necklace or whatever and heís replaced it with a CD! So heartbreaking. You wrote Oliviaís reaction to the whole thing really well.

Of course, I didnít feel totally bad for Pansy because of how she treats Olivia ;) Focusing so much on her daughterís appearance is awful and I was really annoyed by it! Itís very in character for Pansy, though, and you wrote it well. Iím glad it doesnít seem to have given Olivia bad self esteem or anything. I liked how despite not having a great relationship with her mother, there is still love there - you portrayed a complex relationship between them very well.

Over all I really liked this! I will read the rest at some point!

~Maia

Author's Response: Hi Maia,

Thanks so much for such a thoughtful and kind review. I'm really glad you liked Olivia and thought the canon character were in character.

The next chapter should be in the queue later today or tomorrow.

Emma x


 Report Review

Review #7, by milominderbinderRomeo In Ivory: Icarus in Mourning

18th August 2014:
OH. MY. GOD.

LAURA. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

This is one of the best things I have read in a really, really long time. Everything about it was perfect. The style, the way you alternated scenes , the symbolism, the setting, the progression, the ending... just when I thought it was about to get happy, it turned into basically a horror story, and I loved it.

I swear I'm usually so much better at reviews than this but I can't think how to describe anything I just read, so here's my favourite lines instead!

A few yellow petals, ripped from their heads, fluttered to the ground behind him. Hansel and Gretelís trail, for mourners and lost lovers.

It was ugly and ungainly and yet, there was a strange sort of melancholic beauty about it; a strength written though it, as though he was a statue where the paint has not quite dried, and has run, chased by raindrops.

"If it's a girl," he told the grave, and there was a sincerity, a desperation in his voice which stung. "Iíll name her after you. For you, I mean. She'll be for you."

"He was never going to be happy," the middle sister corrected her. "He was never meant to be happy."

It was a Thursday, two weeks later, when the family came again, this time to bury a coffin Ė white and silver Ė underneath a black marble stone. The sisters watched, veiled with lilies and dark crimson roses in their hair, from their bower, as the inscription was carved.

Then, once it was done, and they had left, leaving ivy wreaths and bouquets of marigolds and irises, the sisters turned back to the wheel and the scissors and the threads, and time, as ever, ticked on.


Umm, yeah, if I put all my favourite lines I would basically just be copy pasting the whole fic into the review box, so I'll stick with those. Seriously though. Wow. Your writing is just incredible. This is why I shouldn't go away from HPFF, I miss stories like this!!

Anyway, excuse my flailing, sorry this wasn't more coherent! 10/10

~Maia

 Report Review

Review #8, by milominderbinderJust for this moment: See how bright we shine

18th August 2014:
hiya, here for our review swap!

So, first of all - wow, this just about broke my heart! I've never read much Remus/Sirius but it's always a pairing I've been interested in, and I love Rose's story 'Love in Three Acts' (I actually made the banner for it, haha) so that's what made me decide to pick this story off your page to review!

Your writing is absolutely lovely. I don't think I've actually read any of your stories before, but I definitely want to read more now! I totally adored your take on their relationship. What little fic I've read of these two is often focusing on their teenage years, or in this era but without mention of the fact that they were separated for all those years and that Remus thought Sirius was a killer. Exploring that more serious side of their relationship - that belief that borders on a betrayal - made this fic so intense to read, and I loved it.

You really captured both of them perfectly. You showed a more serious side to Sirius (oops I accidentally punned) that I think reflects how his inner self would feel, even when he's joking on the outside. It's a testament to how close he is to Remus that he lets Remus see this side of him. And I loved how you showed Remus, too, how he was so apologetic and just... I don't even know how to describe it, but he was just perfectly in character.

Even though this ended on a happy note, I feel heartbroken, because I just keep thinking how happy Remus must be here and how broken he would be when Sirius dies D:

Some of my fave lines were:

He seems weak, as if he's coming down after a Full Moon. I know that the Full Moon was two weeks ago.

^it seems so right to me that Sirius tracks the full moons, and that he knows Remus so well as to know what his voice sounds like after one...

I kiss him, and slowly, he comes back to me. Just for the night, we let the years vanish and we're young again, young and whole and together.

^this is just such a beautiful line, heartbreaking because it emphasises how broken they both are now compared to when they were young.

Overall I loved this story! I'm so glad I got to read it :D

~Maia

 Report Review

Review #9, by milominderbinderThe Diary Of Marietta Edgecombe: The Diary Of Marietta Edgecombe

18th August 2014:
Hiya! Maia from the forums here :P

I really, really loved this. I was intrigued when I made the CI for this the other day and made a mental note to read it at some point, but this just gave me the proper shove to get around to it, haha! I can honestly say I've never read a fic about this character before - which is kind of the point of the challenge - and I think you did an AMAZING job exploring her!

You really caught her indecision between being loyal to her mother or to Cho. I especially loved how you showed her relationship with Cho; the way Cho forgave her for betraying the DA really shows how close their bond is.

Marietta isn't a character I've ever really thought a lot about but I've always disliked her when I have thought about her, because obviously all we really see of her in canon is her betraying the DA, which is bad! But you actually made me empathise with her decision here. We've all been in that situation where we've done something we're not proud of to try and be loyal to someone, and it's especially hard when your parents are the ones asking you to do something you don't want to. I'm so glad she had Cho to stick by her side - after their short time of not talking - because that relationship clearly means so much to her, too.

The end just about broke my heart, even though you left it kind of ambiguous I think she died? But I'm glad there's someone who will be remembering her, and maybe she will finally lose her reputation as a 'Sneak', when people find out she fought on the right side of the battle this time.

I really loved this, well done!

~Maia

Author's Response: Hey Maia!
Can I say this: your review just made up for the worst day I might have had in history! After hours and hours of writing for those practice competition, I finally set down and this just lightened me up!

I really used to dislike Marietta too, because of the betrayal. But when I got her for the challenge, I started wondering, 'No one is bad, and Marietta must have had a valid reason for the betrayal.' Some surfing on the internet and half a dozen soppy movies later, I finally decided to write her diary. What other way to show someone's inner thoughts? From the surfing, I knew that Marietta was having the pressure of her parents and the difficulties she had in her friendship with Cho. I just could relate to Marietta so much in someways. And of course, if it was not for stillroisin, who made this amazing challenge, Marietta might never have got justice in my eyes.

Thanks again for the lovely review!

~Sanaa


 Report Review

Review #10, by milominderbinderPure Intentions: Red Line

6th February 2014:
AHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER!

Even though this is a short story I feel like it's been a novel; I'm so invested in it and I feel like I know all the characters so well, you've developed them all perfectly.

Scorp and Rose's breakup was great. I love how their relationship didn't end because she found out about him and Al, and that she was the one to end it, because they wanted different things. I was so worried she was going to end up heartbroken and I love this version of Rose so much, I didn't want to see that happen to her. She's such a lovely free spirit.

Also Astoria, so sweet. It's sad that she can't completely stand up to Draco and that she can't stop Scorpius from being thrown out, but so sweet that she tries to help him anyway. It must be such a horrible situation she's in.

Loved seeing Scorpius so resolved, realising it wasn't right to date girls when he just wasn't attracted to them. Standing up to his parents was the right decision, even if it had bad consequences it's healthier and will make him happier in the long run, so I was very proud of him in that moment!

Can't wait to see the next chapter :D

~Maia

Author's Response: Maia!!!

Your excitement is making me so happy!!! I just posted the last chapter (dun dun dun!)

Im really glad the characters and story got you invested - I wanted them to be memorable so it's really nice to know that came through in the story.

It was hard to avoid having Albus' relationship with Scorpius not be an issue for Rose. I wanted to avoid lasting awkwardness/tension between her and Al. Ultimately, they were going down different paths. I thought making her a free spirit would shield her from some of the clinginess teenage girls can go through.

Astoria is starting down a path to stand up to Draco a bit more. Im really glad her help was touching.

Getting Scorpius to a point where he could stand up to his parents was a a key goal for me in this story. If he had this same resolve at the start of the story, well, he wouldn't ahve broken anyone's heart and there would just be a nice, sweet Al/Scor story. :D

Thank you so much for a spectacular review! I hope the ending is up to par!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #11, by milominderbinderPure Intentions: Red Letter

6th February 2014:
*is in love with your french soup humour*.

*is in love with everything else about this, also*

Seriously, this story just keeps getting better and better!

I love the little nods to canon throughout the whole thing - Rose taking Hermione's beaded bag on holiday made me so happy!

Also omg Brandon Savage :D

Okay this is just a teeny review since I'm skipping off to read the next chapter now :D :D

~Maia

Author's Response: Maia!

I'm glad so someone got my French soup joke!! I'm extremely happy you like this story. I wanted it to be something you'd enjoy. :)

I think I had to include little nods to canon because I'm so out of my element writing next gen. I'm glad you were excited to see another Savage!!!

Thank you so much for stopping by!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #12, by milominderbinderEvil Will Prevail: The hooded figure

5th February 2014:
Hiya! Here reviewing for the Ravenclaw review battle :D

I really loved this start. It's just so intriguing and unlike pretty much anything I've read before. I'm usually a stickler for canon but one of the great things about the review battle is being exposed to things you might not necessarily choose to read by yourself, and I'm really glad I clicked on this story when I looked at your page!

Your writing has just the right amount of suspense and intrigue to really make me want to read on. I love your descriptions a lot. The ones in the first paragraph actually really stood out for me.

A sudden draft made the hairs on his neck stand on end. He could hear the faint rustling of the nearby trees. A werewolf howled at a distance, as the full moon shone overhead. Nothing seemed out of place, with the calm hills silhouetted along the horizon and the moonís reflection casting a pale glow on the nearby stream. It would have been hard to guess that this peaceful spot was doomed to witness the most atrocious acts in the weeks to come.

Forgive the long quote, but that really is all just perfect. You Totally set the scene, but also leave a lot up to the readers imagination, which I think makes it creepier. Just by naming a few things like the werewolves howl, but not necessarily elaborating on it, you really set the tone of unease.

I love Draco's POV as well. You really get into his head and I think you've characterised him perfectly. It's interesting, because he's used to this kind of thing, this is basically the environment he's grown up in - the fear and cruelty - yet he's not at home in it totally. It's very lovely to read because it makes him very relatable, and it also contrasts with the extreme comfort Hermione seems to show in that environment - when in canon you'd expect it to be the other way around.

Overall I loved this, well done :D

~Maia

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! This must be one of the best reviews I've received so far!

I'm so happy you like the descriptions and the characterizations. It's such a compliment to have you say they're perfect. *does a crazy happy dance*

Well it is the Canon Craziness Challenge. :D I hope Hermione's crazy enough in this. And I really hope you keep reading! Thanks again for the amazing review.


 Report Review

Review #13, by milominderbinderNo Matter What: Lily

2nd February 2014:
Hi hon! Sorry for the wait haha, but I'm finally here to review your challenge entry!

Some quotes I loved were:

The house is wordless, not a moan or groan escapes the depth of night. Everything is still, asleep and dreaming of wonderful worlds, death, and magic, magic of all levels of power and rage.

He's scared of telling dad something? What is so frightening? Dad would never be disappointed in any of us, unless we involved ourselves with dark magic. James is far too soft for that, I think, laughing silently.


I really loved how you told this from a different pair of eyes - focusing on the whole thing through Lily worked so well. It could really concentrate down to the reactions James could expect, and showed how that kind of thing can affect a family. But you also did a great job of conveying all James' emotions through his conversations with ivan and Lily, and also just from the things Lily saw. You did a great job of making his emotions shine through his actions.

Ivan seemed really nice. I like that he was a serious relationship, and not just some random guy, because it makes it more significant when James comes out to Lily. I also love how you didn't quite clarify James' sexuality, but implied that he's bi. There is such an incredible lack of bi boys in fic, it's always so refreshing to read!

Anyway, I really loved this. You did a great job of addressing all the issues around this, and the POV especially made it really interesting and made it stand out.

Thanks so much for entering my challenge hon!

~Maia

Author's Response: Maia!

I am SO relieved that you loved this. Like I cannot even begin to explain how relieved I am. I am only truly exposed to stuff like this through reading, and I have never really written Slash, like, straight-forward. Because I am not exposed to it in real life, I was terrified that I didn't write it correctly!

Anyway, thanks for the kind words! It was no problem entering your challenge!

Thanks!

-Janelle


 Report Review

Review #14, by milominderbinderfalling away with you: falling away with you

2nd February 2014:
Kiana. Okay. Like. First - W O W.

Second, I want to quote every single line of this story to show you how perfect it was. It truly was like you painted this, only you were, like, Leonardo Da Vinci or something, and not a single brush stroke was out of place. If my stories were paintings they'd be like, interesting finger paintings improvised in ten seconds, but this here is a MASTERPIECE.

Okay, a few lines of the MANY that stood out:

You had always thought of things in terms of paint. The colour would never be red, it would be crimson or scarlet. Your motherís hair would never be bushy, but painted onto her with a thick brush in need of being thrown away. The things falling out of your eyes now wouldnít be tears, but drops of water slipping over the edge of the pot. It drew you into obscure things.

You know what Andrea, the other curator, thinks of him. You know what other people think of him. But then it almost makes you want to think differently. One person canít be the subject of everyoneís hate, itís too much for them.

Dusk has already fallen across the city, the slight warmth of February is taken with it, and a chill has fallen among the streets. The only comforting thing is that unlike London, where the shadows tower over you as night falls, the buildings here are low, allowing some sort of light to seep through the dark.

A canvas is mounted on a stand, taking up most of your bedroom. The paintingís nearly done. The swaths of black are clouded over by the white, merged into something less threatening, less harsh, but you know there still needs to be something more.

Your breath is intermingled, you can smell the peppermint of his and the strawberry of yours. Theyíre merging though, coagulating, not like the black and white of Draco and the red of you. Perhaps things arenít as defined as you thought them to be.

Okay quote time over, and now to the bit where I SOB ABOUT HOW THIS ENDED. I mean, I accept it, and I can see why it had to end this way, but still. I've never been a fan of Draco and I was so wary of this story going in but you had me rooting for them nearly straight away, and their ending just broke my heart.

Okay, I apologise for the nonsensicalness of this review, but yeah I really did just love this, well done!! Thanks so much for entering my challenge, this is an incredible entry.

~Maia

Author's Response: Maia! Can I just say wow to this review because it really was fantastic!

Ahahahahah, yeah, I don't really know how to respond to the Da Vinci comment because I always thought your description was like that so for you to say that to me is sort of jaw-dropping time for me :P I feel as if I need to start flailing around or something because that feels the most fitting thing right now!

I found it really interesting that you picked out those quotes because they were rather different ones to the ones other people have picked out, so it's great that the rest of it was interesting and descriptively good (if that makes sense...?) too!

Bahahaha, yeah, I love angst so I was just like nah happy endings are boring let's make it never work out! I'm so glad I did manage to make you root for them though because I personally didn't like the ship that much beforehand it was more of an experiment when I decided to write it, but it was so much fun I couldn't resist!

The review wasn't nonsensical, but rather fabulous if I'm being modest! Thank you so much for this fantastic review and the challenge, it was so much fun to enter and such a different and entertaining one too!

-Kiana


 Report Review

Review #15, by milominderbinderOur Little Secret: II.

2nd February 2014:
Hiya! Maia here from the modern romance challenge :D

Ooh this has really captivated me! I didn't stop to review the first chapter separately because I didn't want to stop reading!

This is such an interesting pairing. I never would have thought of this, and it's incredibly interesting that you did. I love Oliver Wood and I love Molly - in pretty much all their incarnations, though especially here! They seem to really fit well together.

You really paint an amazing picture of the beginning of their relationship. I could feel every tingle of excitement that Molly did, those flirtatious butterflies that always crop up at the beginning of a new romance. I love how easily they seemed to fall into it; just a short conversation before they were leaving that first party together, because they both already felt the connection, and they seemed to converse effortlessly, and Oliver kissed her even after he found out who she was. I loved his reaction to finding that out, too, the way he found it kinda funny and regretful, and then decided it didn't matter after all.

Your writing style is lovely and clean, and perfect for the story. It's not too flowery and doesn't get in the way of the story, and gives just enough information to keep you both captivated and intrigued.

Random note but Flaunt is a great name for a wizarding restaurant!

I love how they both instinctively knew to keep it a secret. Not only does that kinda show their connection more, but the secrecy adds to the thrilling feel of the whole story. The tiny secret touches, the tangling of their fingers together while nobody's looking - that smallest hint of risk is what makes this so captivating, and really had me on the edge of my seat!

I can't wait to see where you go with this. Please message me on the forums when you next update!! And thanks so much for entering my challenge :D

~Maia

 Report Review

Review #16, by milominderbinderTelling the Family: Telling the Family

2nd February 2014:
Hi hon! Maia from the Modern Romance challenge here :D

Wow, I really liked this! This was such a nice take on an original and modern relationship. Of the entries I've read so far, a lot of them have addressed gender, and one was about unconventional parenting, so an age gap was a really fascinating thing to address. It's true that there can be a lot of stigma about an older girl than guy in a relationship, but I honestly think I've never read anything about it.

Another thing that stuck out about this was that by making Lorcan younger, you actually stuck better to canon than most people do - or, at least, to what JK has named as her personal 'canon', when she said that Luna would have waited longer than her friends to have kids. I think a lot of people tend to ignore that for convenience, just making Lorcan and Lysander the same sort of age as most of the Weasley kids, because it's easier to pair them up then, and get some variety of friendships that isn't just between the cousins. But it was very interesting and it worked really well that you did decide to make them younger, and I liked it a lot.

Lily and Lorcan seemed really sweet together as well. I would have loved to see more of their relationship, but in a way, the short snippet was perfect, because it just showed this tiny cute glimpse into their relationship.

Luna was great. I love how she knew about it already, and how she was the one Lorcan turned to when he was so nervous. I always pictured Luna being really close to her kids and a very loving and hands-on parent, so you really played to my headcanon there and it was really nice to read.

Overall I loved this! It was short but really sweet, with great characterisation, and addressed a very real and underwritten issue in an interesting way. Thanks so much for entering my challenge!

~Maia

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. I have to admit that it isn't my best, but it's been a while since I wrote any for HPFF. I really loved your contest idea though, and once I read it this just came to me. Thanks again.
~Lily


 Report Review

Review #17, by milominderbinderHouse of Cards: Two of Spades

25th January 2014:
*jaw drops*

LAURA. I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO STOP IT.

Seriously, this is so, so good. I don't know how you do it but you have such an incredible talent for description, I'm super jealous. You can paint the most vivid picture with just a few words, or perfectly describe a subtle and nuanced mood in a paragraph. Some of these words seem like they just got painted onto a canvas, if that makes sense - they all fit together in one perfect brush stroke.

I love the plot so far, as well. It's all so mysterious and intriguing, I really couldn't stop reading. There are not enough Black family mysteries in the world, and that is a fact. Even if there were more, I doubt many of them would be as awesome as this.

Okay, some particularly beautiful lines I loved were:

The rest of the staircase is dark, the house-elves having put the candles out before dinner had even begun, and those furthest up it look dark and tall.

^This just creates such an interesting mood, dark and... I can't even think of the word, but it's uneasy in a way, it totally reflects the darkness over all the lives of these characters. The fact that the candles are put out even before dinner, like everything kind of ends before it begins, if that makes sense? Anyway, this gave me chills to read.

Chopin's Piano Sonata in B Flat Minor, Opus Thirty-Five, Number Two.

The Funeral March


^ *raises hand* hi, my name's Maia, and I'm a classical music addict. I actually learnt this on piano a few years ago, so I know the song really well, and this reference just perfectly evokes the mood you're going for here.

"There was no blood,"... "There was no blood," ... I thought there would be blood - there always is at these things - but there wasn't. No blood at all... There was no blood.

^Okay so I chopped bits out of this just to say I love all this repetition. It makes it so powerful, and also so eerie, such a casual observation, but it makes everyone seem just a little bit unsure.

It is the first time Orion has ever called him Ďfatherí. He suspects it will not be the last.

^Such an interesting look at the dynamics between these characters, and a perfect, nuanced and complex way to end the chapter.

So, basically, I loved this. It was so powerful, and eerie, and mysterious and intriguing. Well done!

~Maia

Author's Response: *picks up jaw and hands it back*

I'M SORRY, OKAY? I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENS, OFFICER, I SWEAR. :P

Gah, thank you so so much for that! I tend to overload things with copious amounts of description and not enough dialogue, so I'm glad you liked it! :) The beginning took me so long to write (I rewrote it three times), in choosing the right words and making sure it sounded right, so thank you! :D

Yes, more Black mysteries! Ah, they just suit the genre so well, it's unbelieveable. It's almost scary how well the two fit together... But yes, more would be excellent! :)

It is kind of foreshadowing, isn't it? Even though it's not actually before the story, just in the timeline of things... ahem, I overthink things, haha ;) But yeah, that makes perfect sense - and I never really thought about it that way before, just that it would make for a particularly spooky setting!

ME TOO! I borrow my dad's cds - all of them, in fact, not just the classical ones - and listen to them. I have my own Chopin and Rachmaninov cds too. And Tchaikovski. And Beethoven. So yeah, I have a few. I couldn't resist putting the reference in... :P

Thank youuu! I'm glad you liked that bit - I always feel I tend to overuse repetition, and try to cut down on a bit of it. Like the 'rule of three' for description - I use that all the time, so I'm trying to stop.

Thank you so so much for this lovely, lovely review - I really love hearing from you and I'm so glad you liked it! :) :hug:

Aph xx


 Report Review

Review #18, by milominderbinderMaking Memories: Some Personal Lives Can Do With A Little Bothering

13th January 2014:
Hi hon! Reviewing your entry for the Modern Romance challenge :D

Aww, I really loved this! This was a great idea and fits perfectly with the theme of the challenge. I love Victoire's reasons for not getting married - they really are entirely practical and it's clear she's not that bothered by it, and her exasperation at her mother being the only one who couldn't accept it is very realistic!

I think the strongest aspect of lovely this is your characters. You seem to develop them really well in a short space of time, and they all seem realistic and likeable and are lovely to read about. I love Victoire - she's so practical and down to earth, and it's a real change from how I often see her characterised. That uniqueness in her character makes this especially cool to read, as it feels very fresh. Louis made me laugh as well, though we obviously saw less of him, his conversation with Victoire at the end was just perfect. It's also really a cool idea to have him as Emmaline's 'childminder' or whatever. It's so cute to keep the childcare in the family like that :)

Emmaline is also great! It can be super hard to write kids but you did such a good job here. She seems super cute and I can't wait to read more about her, and Victoire's interactions with her :)

Can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter ! Thanks so much for entering my challenge xxx

~Maia

Author's Response: Aw, hey! :D Thanks for coming to check it out so soon! :) My tummy tingles with joy that you love it! :)

I really sort of got the idea of her being happy with not being married by a friend of mine. Of course, she did end up getting married, but she was content on just being a mother with her boyfriend for the rest of her life. It was his parents that wanted the wedding lol.

Thanks for that comment on the characters! :D This set has got me all excited because the more I think, the more I already feel connected to them. Van is one of my favorites. :) As for Victoire, I really wanted her to be toned down as compared to other people's fics. I wanted the strong reminder that she is not ONLY Fleur's daughter, but Bill's, too. Which makes her a Weasley.

The first time I wrote the chapter, I actually had Dominique as the 'childminder', but I really felt like a male role would be much better keeping in mind that Teddy is at work. It seemed to fit much better, and it was just too cute to pass up.

Little Emmaline in my mind is like a little Merida from Brave haha.

Thank you so much for stopping by! I hope to be finished with my next chapter soon! I want to thank you so much for the awesome prompt! I'm excited to delve further into the story! :)

~Mae


 Report Review

Review #19, by milominderbinderThe Enchanted Ground: One

13th January 2014:
Jenna! Here from the Modern Romance challenge to review your entry :D

Gosh. Just - how do I say how much I loved this without sounding like such an idiot? This is one of those stories that just sucks you in straight away. Gorgeous writing that doesn't get in the way of the plot, unique and relatable but still quirky characters who immediately seem fully developed, such original concepts and plotline that it's really stimulating to read because it's all so fresh. And somehow, it wasn't quite any of those things that made me love this, but something else entirely, something I really can't put into words (I know, kinda useless for reviewing, sigh) that kept my eyes glued to the page until the very last word.

Roxanne was perfectly characterised and really a great choice for the main character here, but I'm not gonna say too much about her here because I want to talk about her in reviews of later chapters :D I do just have to say a few more words about Thackeray Doyle. I mean. Just. What a character. What a truly amazing, quirky, insane, realistic literary phenomenon. I totally relish the idea of the next gen being filled with these slightly malcontent social activists, and she perfectly embodies that. Every line she spoke seemed perfect - I loved her stubbornness and the pleasure she took in correcting people, but also by the end the clear affection she showed for Roxanne. She's such a perfectly balanced multifaceted character.

I know the romance hasn't truly started yet so I can't really review this in terms of how well it fits the challenge. But the connection between Roxanne and Thackeray is already obvious here - they seem, in a way, two perfect halves of a whole. From their wider personalities to the finest details like Roxanne's dyslexia(? I'm assuming, I don't think you actually mentioned the word?) and artistic preferences slotting into Thackeray's wordiness and love of facts. And I really do love how you're setting up their relationship. Because this isn't purely a love story - there's a plot, a plot that sounds gosh darn interesting so far, and that means that they don't just have this mindless connection, they're thrown together for a reason which makes the whole thing more significant, and also adds a whole other layer to why this is interesting to read.

I did start compiling a list of my favourite lines but it was getting longer than the review by the time I'd finished the third paragraph, so since it's impossible to pick (since I loved so much in here), here's three random lines from my top faves:

We were the inheritors of a bored age in which the greatest entertainment came from finding something to be appropriately angry about, whether it was the History of Magic curriculum not including enough historic feminist witches or bans on loud singing in the corridors.

I didn't bother to explain to her the excitement of having a purpose, of being necessary and seen as intelligent and a valuable contributing member instead of as Roxanne Weasley, the girl who read a little slower and had to study her words a little more carefully than others.

I took this for a fact: Thackeray never spoke unless absolutely sure of the words' truth.

Okay, that's me done! I'm adding this to my faves so I can keep up with updates :D Can't wait to see what the next chapter holds, and thank you so much for entering my challenge!

~Maia

Author's Response: Hi! :D *dies at the amazingness of this review*

I'm so thrilled you liked this! It's a little different from my usual style and approach to writing and I felt like I took some risks with it, so getting this lovely feedback really means the world. I've been savouring this review and coming back to re-read it for the last day or so since it's so lovely, thank you for all these compliments! ♥

It's really amazing to hear how the story pulled you in and that the characters felt very developed. That's just how I imagined them, jumping into the story fully-formed, and knowing that came across to you as a reader is really incredible to hear.

Ahh, I love Roxanne and Thackeray and I'm really pleased you do too. I'm happy to see how you appreciated Thackeray as I did- I put a lot of thought and humour and fun into imagining that character and knowing you found the slightly obnoxious comments realistic and interesting is so wonderful. That's exactly what I wanted-balanced, multifaceted, and easy to love and hate at the same time.

I promise the romance will begin and overflow in the next chapter! :P I just got a little carried away with the introductions and didn't want a 10k word chapter, hehe. :P

Yes, they are opposites but in a really good way! I didn't explicitly say, but in my head Roxanne does have dyslexia. And then Thackeray is very fact-based and goes by getting worked up and passionate while Roxanne is more laid back and quietly expresses herself through her art. I'm so happy you like the plot! I love writing it and coming up with Thackeray's crazy schemes, and it's really lovely to hear you like how the causes unite them and drives the story and their relationship forward. :)

These are some of my favourite lines as well so I love how you picked them out. :) I felt like the first one and second lines here represent something quite universal which Roxanne feels quite prominently in her life, and then the third is Thackeray being particular and opinionated. :P

I'm really so excited you like the first chapter! :D I'm working on editing the second one and hopefully will be putting it up in the next day or so! :) Thanks for the amazing challenge and lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #20, by milominderbinderThe Unspeakable and the Wasp: Unique Service

12th January 2014:
Rose! So, it's been like a million years since you requested this review from me, right? Please don't hate me! *dodges flying fruit*

Anyway, I'm here now, and I really loved this. Such an interesting choice of two characters I've honestly never thought much about before, and you gave them both such depth and story, in such a small amount of words.

I really liked these lines:

the guest list ranged from the rich and famous to the athletic and popular with the well-connected and important falling somewhere in the middle.

^great use of listing (which is always a great literary device in my opinion :P) used in an inventive way. I love how you really set the scene of the party in just these few words describing the people who were there.

The first rule to seeking information from a target is to let them do the approaching.

^I love how this has such a 'secret agent' kinda feel to it in some places, and how it reads almost like an instruction manual in this line. It's really engaging to the reader and gives this a very unique tone of voice that I personally find quite thrilling.

Could he change? Rookwood had never considered not using people to peddle information and power. He certainly had never cared before when peoplesí hearts were trampled as he expanded the network which provided him so much access and information.

^The rhetorical question is really engaging and it really did make me consider these things alongside Rookwood.

His only remorse was the few minutes when he had considered that ridiculous change. Thoughts of trying to be better were washed away as he returned to his flat in the city. It had been an ephemeral thought of madness brought on by the lingering holiday cheer in his system.

^ I really love this as a way to end it. The fact that he hasn't learned his lesson, he hasn't decided to turn over a new leaf. It's the total opposite of what you'd expect from a 'New Year' kinda fic, but in a way, it's much more truthful than the resolutions people usually make and never end up sticking to. I really liked that although he's a dark character in a lot of ways, Rookwood has these redeeming qualities below the surface that make him so great to read about in this story, and one of those is his resolution and belief in himself. The fact that he's happy with his lifestyle of 'seduction and secrets' really paints this whole thing with a tone of dark glamour.

Well done, this was great. Sorry it took me so long to get around to the review!

~Maia

Author's Response: Maia!! haha, I won't throw fruit. Between your internet being gone and moving, I didn't expect a super fast turn around. ^_^

I'm not sure if I would have gone towards Roodwood/Bagman if not for the DE Challenge. I was a bit lucky to get Rookwood. it's great to hear that I gave them both depth. I was focusing on Rookwood more so I was worried that Bagman seemed a bit less well rounded.

Ah! I'm really thrilled you liked my line describing the party. I got the idea from the Great Gatsby where they describe the huge parties. Despite it being different eras, I thought the parties would have the same vibe.

Rookwood was afterall working - I just saw him as having a very clincal view of his work. In my head he's a combination of Don Draper and James Bond (and let's face it, if either were set in modern day there would be guy on guy action).

The ending felt like a way for him to have at least considered a new self but then reject it once reality seeped back into his veins.

I'm so happy you liked this!! I really love getting reviews from you (I might just keep writing slash to ask you for reivews!) Thank you so much!
-Rose


 Report Review

Review #21, by milominderbinderPure Intentions: Red Rose

11th January 2014:
Aww, no, this was so sad!! Wow, you're really doing such an amazing job of portraying all these really complex mixed emotions.

I like Rose but I feel so bad for her - she seems like a great character, and she seems really happy with Scorpius, but if she knew what was really going on, that Scorpius didn't really love her and that it was breaking Albus' heart to see the two of them together, I'm sure she'd be devastated.

I can totally understand why Scorpius is doing all this - familial pressures are always awful but they're worst when they're about something so personal as your sexuality. Still, I'm mad at him, because he's making Al so upset, and using Rose :( I know he can't see it that way but still!

You did a great job with Al in this chapter. I could really feel his heartbreak but also his anger.

Al and Harry's conversation was perfect. I loved how supportive Harry was, but also a little awkward, just like canon Harry :P I wonder if Scorpius had seen that conversation, if he'd realise what a good parent is actually supposed to do when their son likes another boy, and whether he'd be less willing to give into his parents' wishes.

Can't wait to see the next chapter!

~Maia

Author's Response: Maia!!

Rose gets to shine through more in the next chapter. I mean, she feels a bit generic to me right now (likable just not very complex yet). I'm still toying with whether she'll find out about Al/Scorpius and how she'd react to it. There may be devistation on the horizon.

I'm mad at him too!! I mean, he's not doing a good job at being his own person or following his heart. Their falling out kind of reminded me of how some relationships fall apart when neither is able to apologize (or do it well) and the other person isn't able to hear it when it does happen.

Writing Al was a lot of fun for me. I mean, he's besotted and trying to find his way. I'm kind of fond of him now.

I'm so glad you liked Harry's conversation with Al. I fretted over it a bit while writing it but it sounds like it came out like I intended. I couldn't imagine writing Harry and completely smooth. I don't think any parent would know exactly what to say. I wish Scorpius had the unconditional love that Al grew up with. He will have a catalyst though!

Next chapter will be soon!

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #22, by milominderbinderPure Intentions: Red Flags

11th January 2014:
Ah! Rose! I love it so much!

Seriously, best Christmas present ever. I love how you've shown Scorpius' relationship with his parents. You haven't made them totally the bad guys and have made their arguments reasonable, at least to them, so it makes it easy to see why Scorpius still wants to live up to their expectations. I was so sad when his Mum made him question his feelings for Al :( But I thought it was all very realistic and Scorpius' confusion was very sad.

I love the relationship you've shown between Scorpius and Al, too. How they're friends first, and then have this undefined romantic overture to their relationship, but it's clear that their friendship's really strong no matter what. I always think having characters be friends first makes their romantic relationship seem stronger and more signficant.

And, yay, the next chapter is posted now! So I'm off to read that :D

~Maia

Author's Response: Maia!!

^_^ Well, I didn't think it'd be practical to make you more cat graphics. :P I am glad you like your present!! Your Christmas bio thing helped me come up with the plot for this story.

Draco and Astoria are probably the best parents they can be (given who they are and how they were each raised). I wanted Scorpius' hesitance and doubt were realistic - I'm glad that came across after his discussion with his parents. I imagine he had talks like that with them throughout his life.

Scorpius and Al probably had a lot to work through just to be friends. I mean, the whole Draco/Harry angst and the stuff their parents went through overall. I imagine a bit o that came through in the beginning of their friendship.

^_^ I should have the third one done in a few days too!!

I'm beyond glad you're liking the story!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #23, by milominderbinderWe Solemnly Swear That We're Up To No Good: We Solemnly Swear That We're Up To No Good

10th January 2014:
Hi hon! I know I kinda said everything I had to say about this story when beta'ing it, but I just wanted to leave a review too :D I reread this when I saw your post on the forums - and I love the new and improved version even more than the old one, haha :P This is a lovely story, and I really hope you decide to expand it out at some stage into a short story or even a novel! I'd love to read more of this :)

~Maia

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing:D. I really like this, and I think it has potential to be expanded. I think I might write it as a Novella when I finish my current Novella, One Blaze of Glory. Maybe it'll be a spring or summer project :)

 Report Review

Review #24, by milominderbinderOne Blaze of Glory: Feel the Heat of the Future's Glow

2nd January 2014:
Hiya! here for the 'claw review battle :D

I've always been totally fascinated by the idea that lycanthropy is used as a metaphor for aids. It's such a deep social commentary for a series of children's books, and a really important one too. Also, RENT is one of my favourite shows ever. I've never seen fic based off it before, so I was very excited when I clicked on this and the first thing I saw was that this is inspired by RENT! I think you did an amazing job of taking that idea of a plotline, but totally making it your own.

This story was very powerful. It was really interesting the way you showed this subcultural group who've been pushed out of society. I also think it was really realistic that they would then turn to the 'dark' side as it were.

I love how you gave just a little hope at the end of the story. This is extremely angsty in places but not unnecessarily so - every emotion you portray seems carefully placed, and you add just enough few bright spots to make this poignant, almost a little soft - or as soft as a look at such a heartbreaking topic can be.

Overall I really loved this. I really think you did both RENT and the werewolf community justice with this very powerful story!

~Maia

Author's Response: I'm so loving the 'claw battle! It's so fun!

Thanks so much for reviewing. I don't think anyone else that's reviewed is familiar with RENT, so it's great to get feedback from someone who is.

I'm so glad that you like it! Your writing is so well done, and getting feedback from you makes me so happy!

I dove head-first into this project, and I'm getting really great feedback. I'm seriously so happy!

Thank you so much!!


 Report Review

Review #25, by milominderbinderDevlin Potter: Riddle and Rescue: The Man at the Table

27th December 2013:
Hiyaaa! Here for the review swap :D Happy holidays!

I have to admit, I don't really follow this story because it's not my kind of genre, but every time I see you in review tag or something similar I post and come and read another chapter - simply because the second I click on it, I always find myself enthralled by your writing. You really do make me enjoy a type of story I'd never see myself enjoying, which is amazing and a real credit to your writing!

I love how you show Devlin's thoughts and views. It's clear just how much he's been influenced by his 'grandfather' and that's really creepy in a way.

I really loved Emma. She's a really sweet character and kind of seems like a bright spot amongst all the darkness going on, yet she's not overly and unrealistically so. She's wary and even afraid of Devlin at first and I think that's a great way to portray it, really realistic. But even when she's not being welcoming straight away her sweetness really does show through. I already like her a lot as a character.

Super interesting chapter as always! Well done!

~Maia

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>