Reading Reviews From Member: Cannons
  
177 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CannonsHarry Potter and the Wizard's Portrait: The Recapture of the Carrows

1st July 2014:
Hi!

Here for the review tag! I thought this was an interesting start to the story and a realistic one at that. Your description was good enough that I could clearly see what was happening during the battle scene which was good as I know battle scenes can be hard to get right at times.

The only weird thing I found was Harry's nerves when he was about to fight them with his wand hand shaking etc I would have though that just after defeating Voldemort he would have been so pumped up he wouldn't have any nerves. That's just me being pedantic though I suppose!

I loved the section with Peeves, it was such a clever idea and somehow made it feel more like Hogwarts.

Anyway keep writing you defiantly have talent.

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for reading. I enjoyed all your comments. This was my first fanfic and also my first finished novel-length story. It was also the first action scene I ever wrote (eek!) - so I'm thankful to hear you thought it wasn't bad, because I did struggle with it. And because it was one of the first scenes of the story, I knew it could either draw the reader in or turn them off. You're so right to say that battle scenes are hard to get right - they really are.

I can see your point about Harry not having nerves after just killing Voldemort, and I agree that he wouldn't be nervous about just fighting Death Eaters. But I was looking at it from a slightly different angle - my thought was that Harry was nervous about the Cruciatus curse the Carrows might cast and hit him with - or his friends - since Ron had just pointed out the Carrows were known for liking to use it, and no one wants to get hit with torture. So that's where I was coming from. But I'm glad you mentioned it, because it lets me know that the story might not have made my reasoning clear to every reader.

Thanks for letting me know you liked the scene with Peeves. I was so glad I got that idea, and hoped the humor would work for readers.

Thanks for a lovely review. I appreciate your reading this and commenting on it.


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Review #2, by CannonsOut of the Darkness: Into the Sun

7th June 2014:
Hey,

I don't know what to congratulate you on first. So I'm going to go with...congratulations on conveying so much emotion through so little words. That is a talent in itself. It was sad and when she was going through her speech to Harry I was imaging all the moments she was talking about that we know she won't see.

At first I thought that this was going to be the moment when Voldemort burst through and kills her but somehow it's even sadder this way. It's like you've delayed the inevitable.

Awesome.

Cannons

Author's Response: Hehe, thanks so much! You're right, knowing what's going to happen makes the atmosphere heavier. :)


Thank you again for reading and reviewing!



- Asphodel


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Review #3, by CannonsTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : This is your mission, if you should choose to accept it.

26th May 2014:
Hey, I'm here for our review swap!

I really, really enjoyed it and am so pleased that there are 19 chapters for me to read! I have never read a Hermione time travel fic so I have no expectations and the plot will be like nothing I have read before.

I thought you wrote Hermione really well and I liked how you didn't make her say 'goodbye' to Harry and Ron and that she avoided them before going in to the past because I feel like that would be an easy thing to do. It made her feel more like Hermione to me that she didn't say anything.

Dumbledore was written brilliantly aswell. I think that he is one of the hardest characters to write and it really stands out if he isn't written well so you did a great job there.

I found myself hating Peter without giving him a chance and I can't wait to see how you make him interact with everyone that he eventually betrays.

Your writing has a great flow to it and it's super easy to read and you can't help but get drawn in. I'm going to be honest and say that I probably wouldn't have given this story a chance if I had stumbled across it but your writing is so good and your plot is so awesome that you have changed my mind!

I will defiantly be reading on, you're a great writer.

Cannons!

Author's Response: Hiya! Thank you for doing the review swap with me! That is really cool of you! :) So I'm really happy to hear that you're enjoying it!! After I read my first Hermione time travel fic, I was hooked. It's my favorite storyline, to be honest, so I hope you like it!

Hermione is definitely my most favorite out of everyone. So I am incredibly thrilled to hear you think I wrote her well! I really did feel like it would be more her to just avoid Harry and Ron and not make a big spectacle out of what was going on. Basically, what I felt her mindset would be, is that she would only appear to be gone seconds, so why worry them.

Dumbledore is tough. So thank you for that! I've read so many stories where he was just.. off. I really didn't want to do that with him. So, again, thank you. I was very much hoping to do him justice.

What I can say regarding Peter is, don't judge him too harshly yet. He may surprise you... :)

You are far too kind! Thank you so very much!! I'm so happy that you answered my review swap and found my story. I hope you continue to enjoy it the rest of the way through! :)

*hugs*
Meg


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Review #4, by CannonsDead Ringer: Preparing for Departure

21st May 2014:
Hey, I have read this story and the previous one in a couple of days! You really are a talented author, you pace out your plot incredibly well nothing ever seems rushed.

I don't know if you will ever continue with this story but I will check back to see if you do.

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I do intend to continue; I'm focusing on one of my other fics at the moment, but eventually this one will be updated. I apologize for the wait! Hope it's worth it!

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Review #5, by CannonsDisclosure: Bonding with the Pages

12th May 2014:
HEY! :D

I love a good missing moment story and although it was short and sweet it did the job wonderfully! I always enjoy your writing and I see you have a couple more stories since I last visited your page so I will have to check then out!

Cannons

Author's Response: Hey! :D

Thank you haha! Really?! You enjoy my writing! XD That's awesome to know! ^_^

Hehe, thanks for reading! Hope you like my other stuff - though it's not as quite as good. -^_^-



- Asphodel


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Review #6, by CannonsMy Little Secrets: Villas in France

27th April 2014:
Hey, I love this story but it's so depressing at times ( in a good way )hopefully there is a happy ending , but I know how hard these things are so at least it's realistic. Your writing is really engaging and I keep coming back for more even if I haven't reviewed it in a while which I apologise for.

Keep it up!

Cannons

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm glad you liked the story. I can't tell you how the story will end, you just have to keep reading to find out. I'm flattered that you think my writing is engaging. Don't worry about it, thanks for taking the time to leave a review now!

xoxo Sarah ♥


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Review #7, by CannonsThe Quiet Outcast: Hugo Weasley: Part II

29th March 2014:
Hi!

I don't normally leave reviews if I'm honest but it would have been rude if I hadn't on this amazing story.

It's hard to find a story that I can't put down on here atm so I was so pleased when I found this one! I saw your blog post on the forums (congrats on 10 years btw!) so I thought I'd have a look at it and I'm so pleased I did!

I loved Hugo and how he isn't like any main character I've read, he isn't a natural leader, star Qudditch player or insanely popular, he's just himself and that's the best bit about him. I was rooting for him throughout the whole story.

All off your characters are relatable and believable, which is what made it seem so real to me.

I really do wish you would write more about Hugo and the others! Good luck with getting published I know you can do it.

:)

Cannons

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Review #8, by Cannonscast my shadow, shine your light: 1.2: Amelia

11th March 2014:
Put me out of my misery and put another chapter up please! This is amazing

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Next chapter should only be a couple of days away, I hope to see you back!

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Review #9, by CannonsHer Love: Scars

2nd March 2014:
Holy Snap!

That was deep.

Ok, I loved it, I love the idea that Lavender survives and I love how you haven't made it a fairy tale ending for her. I mean it is in a way but the day to day mental fights she must have with herself over her looks must be absolutely draining.

:)

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh well thank you! Yes, well, how could it ever be a fairy tale ending for her with what's she's been through? And yes, all that is definitely exhausting, but at least she had Juno!

Thank you so much for this amazing review!
Lo:)


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Review #10, by CannonsManor of Secrets: The Library

2nd March 2014:
Hi, I'm reviewing this for 'Blackout Bingo'

At first I got a bit confused as to why Regulus would be alive in 1922 but I soon checked that out and now I understand!

I always like a good mystery which is why I clicked on this. I like the choice of name for Shafiq it sounds very grand and defiantly someone the Blacks would associate themselves with.

Your description was really good, especially in the first paragraph it was a brilliant introduction to the story, really grabbing the reader in.

I love the competition between the two brothers, it seems so natural.

Good luck in the challenge

Cannons

Author's Response: I completely forgot to clarify that in my Authors Note, so thank you for pointing that out!

I'm really glad you liked it. It really means a lot to me, and thank you for the lovely review.

x Ely


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Review #11, by CannonsKnowledge (to know, or not to know?): to know, or not to know?

2nd March 2014:
Hey, I'm reading and reviewing this for 'Blackout Bingo'

WHAT! How can this be completed? How can this be completed!? This was crazy, dark and absolutely fantastic.

I need to know more about here, who is she? You mentioned 'red hair' are you implying she was a Weasley? If so which one?

I love how through 500 or so words you've managed to bring her on a journey for just wanting knowledge for 'pleasure' and then she sorts of shifts to a darker side by enjoying having knowledge that nobody else has.

This was really graphic and subtle, yes subtle. This isn't over. Write a novel surrounding this!

Cannons

Author's Response: Hello!
-blushes- You are far too kind.
Yes! I was implying she's a Weasley. I know I didn't mention it in the story, it just didn't quite ever feel right to, but in my head she's Rose.
Funnily enough, I wrote this one-shot because I have always wanted to write a novel about this, but I've never quite gotten around to it. In my head, she's also a Ravenclaw, and I've always wanted to write about an evil Ravenclaw, and I still hope I will one day. Because while knowledge can be amazing, it can also be misused.
Thank you so much for this lovely review :)


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Review #12, by CannonsDamaged: Back To Hogwarts

2nd March 2014:
Hey, I'm reviewing this for 'Blackout Bingo'

This was a really, really, really interesting start. I'm not in to next gen much I have to say because I get confused with who's who and what not because I don't normally read it, but this was a really great read.

I like reading about how characters cope with different situations such as the death of a loved one, so it was quite interesting that she couldn't find comfort in her friends at Hogwarts and actually transferred to Beauxbatons. So it will be interesting too see how she adjusts now that she is going back to Hogwarts where she fell apart.

Your writing was easy to read and smooth, although I did notice a couple of typo's at the start but naturally I can't find them now!

I'm going to add this to my reading list so I can read on! :D

Cannons

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much. I don't even know what came over me when I started writing this story. I just started and in one day I got three chapters. I honestly don't know how this story is going to continue but thanks so much for the review. It really helps a lot. :)

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Review #13, by CannonsIn the Bleak Midwinter...: Part I: The Unexpected Visitor

2nd March 2014:
Hey, I'm reviewing this for the 'Blackout Bingo'

You have given beautiful imagery of a perfect evening with the cold outside and the piano playing. You have also added details that I really enjoy in fanfiction like 'wizard novels' such as which James was reading.

I don't usually read AU so I was a little confused as to what was happening and was outraged that James would even suggest that he didn't love Lily but once I realised it was AU I calmed down and was intrigued.

The twist at the end was perfect although the fact that he hadn't seen Sirius in years made me a little sad.

beautiful imagery throughout, the only thing I would suggest on is lengthening out the chapter because it was to short and I wanted to know more!

Cannons

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Review #14, by CannonsNever Too Late: Rest in Peace

2nd March 2014:
Hey, I'm reviewing this for the 'Blackout Bingo'

You did a truly magnificent job with setting the scene at the beginning. I felt like I was actually in the car with them with them with the bad weather surrounding us.

I like how you've given the main character some depth in the first chapter by telling the reader about how they have shrunk away from the wizarding world after the fall of Voldemort. Also you've created a connection with Harry with how they are both orphans which is interesting.

The only things I would suggest is changing 'yard' to 'garden' as English people don't tend to use the word 'yard'

Also you've written 'O' instead of 'I' but that's just me being pedantic!

Overall I thought this was a really dark, intriguing and ultimately a fun read!

Cannons

Author's Response: I'm very new at the forums, I don't really know what 'Blackout Bingo' is, but I'm glad you reviewed!
I'll correct the "o" and the "garden" first chance I get, and I really appreciate you mentioning it. English is my 2nd language, so these kind of mistakes are bound to happen.
I think that Pre-Hogwarts is an underrated era and people are never unscarred after a war, so I really wanted to write about these people and how they struggled.I'm glad you liked the first part, with the driving and the car, makes me happy!
I really appreciate you reading and reviewing , thank you so much!
best wishes, vicky :)


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Review #15, by CannonsThe Unknown: 1

1st March 2014:
Hi,

wow! How have you written this so quickly when it's so amazing. I'm in awe :o

This was so sad though, reminds me that not all Slytherin's are bad and that it's easy to tar them all with the same brush.

Well done again for completing this so quickly, it really is such a high standard.

Cannons (harrypotterlover1)

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh well, I didn't really write it, it kind of wrote itself. :P

I know. Not all Slytherins are bad!! Thank you so much for this amazing review! This made me smile so much!

Lo:)


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Review #16, by CannonsAll It Took Was A Manticore: All It Took Was A Manticore

1st March 2014:
Hi, I'm reviewing this for Blackout Bingo!

Can I firstly say how impressive your writing is. I clicked on not expecting much but you blew me away. The descriptions were really detailed and you really thought about what era they are in with lines like this - 'Which was how the two of them came to be crouching in the bushes next to a hill about three leagues from the village.' - and them using the sun etc.

I really like how you made them meet, with Salazar being the apprentice of a Dark wizard. You've shown Godric showing compassion to him by sparing him, and how he was determined to kill the mamticore as it was killing innocent people.

I really enjoyed this and you are very talented!

Cannons

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Review #17, by CannonsJust Go With It: Pain

28th February 2014:
Hi, I'm here for our review swap, thanks a lot btw!

I enjoyed this little start you've made, with an interesting character in Krum. I always enjoy reading about Krum especially when it causes some good old tension between Ron and Hermione.

I thought it was typical of Ron to wonder who had invited him. In fact your characterisation of Ron was very good, right down to the eye rolls.

I'll ignore all the pedantic grammatical stuff as that seems to have already been said.

All in all a lovely start with an interesting main character and in interesting premise for the story.

Thanks for this review swap, it's always fun to read different genre's and to get out of my comfort zone!

Cannons

Author's Response: Sorry for the late response! I was a bit busy with real life issues and I don't like to respond to reviews in haste. :)

I enjoy reading Krum too! I just haven't found anything about him on HPFF, but I am in love with his character. He's way too different and interesting and also fun to write!

Dear old Ron! That was one of the reasons I started off the story with Krum visiting the wedding. I wanted to relate my story a little to canon by adding a few Ron-Krum jealousy moments and stuff. :)

Thanks for the wonderful review Cannons! :D

Ashwini


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Review #18, by CannonsCourage of a Badger: Prolouge

25th February 2014:
Hey,

I really like that start you've made on this. So much so that I really wish there was more! I don't really read next gen and I have never read anything about Lucy before so it feels sort of exciting. Your writing feels really laid back and easy to read, whilst also conveying the important emotions that you want to get across to the reader.

If you write more let me know.

Cannons

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, thank you! You really made my day. I love Next Gen but don't really like Lucy that much, so writing this is really exciting for me as well. Thank you again - next chapter should be up as soon as I finish it!
-LaLa


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Review #19, by CannonsInvisible in Death: Ghostly Day

22nd February 2014:
Hey Rose!

How are you so talented :o It's not fair :P

Your characterisation of Myrtle was brilliant, I love how you have developed her character and fleshed her from the books.

She really does come across as a very unlucky sort of girl with everything that she goes through and you have just magnified that. Your detail and description surrounding the glasses made it all so sad.

One thing that I really love about this is that you have actually opened my eyes up to Mrytle being an actual person with real feelings and hopes, she just wants to be accepted like everyone else, because I think its fair to say I only think of Mrytle as a ghost. So you writing her before she died and the events leading up to her death actual makes me feel empathy for her!

Your plot is so clever as well. You have taken something in which everyone knows how it ends and still leave the reader hanging on. So much so that you become so enthralled in it you could almost forget who 'done it' ;)

Your writing is always flawless and lovely to read!

Thanks for the review swap.

Cannons

Author's Response: Cannons!!!

*blush* I've been plunking away at this writing thing for 10+ years and um *waffle*

I'm really glad you liked how I characterized Myrtle! She was a lot of fun to develop from what we learned in the books.

I like to think she had a combination of bad luck and no perspective on her life. The glasses were just the highlight of her being miserable rather than a root cause.

It's so good to hear that you see her as an actual person now with feelings and aspirations. Most people (including me) always just saw her as a ghost in the books. She really wasn't given more depth than that.

*squee!* it makes me so happy that, despite the known canon items, this had you hanging on for more info. It was kind of fun to have a who dunit with the reader knowledgable where the narrator was not. :D

Thank you so much for such a wonderful review!! You've really lifted my ego off the ground!

-Rose


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Review #20, by CannonsResolute: Resolute

22nd February 2014:
Hey, here for our review swap!

This was one of the most impressive things I've ever read! Your writing is so smooth and easy to read. Your characterisation of Tom was really amazing, he was so realistic I don't think J.K could have done a better job herself.

I was going to review a chapter of 'House of Cards' but then I spotted this which I had already seen before but didn't have the time...at the time. :P

I really liked how you showed the reader that he never was content with his achievements, always wanting to do bigger things, achieve more. Also how scathing he is of his peers and teachers, there's no doubt in his mind that he is better then them and it really came across well.

Slughorn was also written brilliantly and I felt a little sorry for him!

You had me enthralled from the start, your writing is superb and I'm going of to read something else that you've written!

Cannons

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for stopping by and for the review swap! I really enjoyed it, so I'm glad you liked it too! :)

Gah, thank you so so much - that has genuinely left me speechless and smiling randomly for the last few days, haha. I can't believe that, wow - thanks! :)

Haha, no worries about that!

Thanks! I found it really interesting characterising him, though I was really nervous about it because he's, you know, Voldemort. I looked up Anti-Social Personality Disorder traits for him, which is where most of those sorts of things came from/the ideas behind them came from, so I don't think I can really claim to all of them, haha ;)

Yeah, same! He's attempting to manipulate, and getting so easily, unknowingly manipulated in turn. It's kinda bad for him.

Thank you so so much for this lovely, lovely review - it was honestly such a wonderful thing to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #21, by CannonsHoping for A Heartbeat : Prologue

18th February 2014:
Hey there :)

Wow, can I just say that you are an awesome person. You have let something which must be terrible in your life out through writing. It's inspiring!

This chapter really hit me with a fistful of nostalgia, looking through Ginny's early life and all the parts of Hogwarts that stuck with her.

It's really an interesting story to me since I have read few from Ginny's point of view. I think you have done a good job in making her believable.

The part I liked the most was when you wrote about Mrs Weasley and Ginny arguing over the make up, I can just imagine that happening!

The only thing I would suggest is to get a beta because there are some mistakes and at one point you changed tenses which confused me slightly.
Don't worry to much though because it is still an awesome start it could just be neatened up a bit. You should see my first drafts before my beta looks at them :P

I will read on in sometime tomorrow!

Author's Response: Hi!
Thank you for coming by and I am glad you enjoyed it!!! :D
I hope you do come back and read more, I have requested a beta but no one has answered. PM me if you have any suggestions of one I could ask?
Anyways thanks again so much!! :)
-Lindsey


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Review #22, by CannonsBludgers and D̶e̶s̶e̶r̶t̶e̶d̶ Corridors: Bludgers and D-e-s-e-r-t-e-d Corridors

15th February 2014:
I enjoyed this :) I love it when I read something from another persons perspective!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts!!!

I'm glad you enjoyed it, I love these types of stories as well :)


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Review #23, by CannonsAshes in the Wind: Prologue

14th February 2014:
Hi, here for our review swap. I thought this was a very mysterious and interesting start. I noticed a small typo 'that he cornered' I very interested to see who this woman is with the strange eye and learn more about Maeve. lovely name by the way. You have some lovely description throughout.

Cannons

Author's Response: Thank you very much for this review; I'm glad you liked the description! Thanks for pointing out the typo, I missed that. I'm glad you're interested in the story so far, at least I'm doing something right :)

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Review #24, by CannonsMy Little Secrets: When Things Were That Easy

8th February 2014:
Hey,

Great chapter I really enjoyed it, I really love the writing style that you've chosen. Why are you doing this to her though! Make her eat something! You do a great job in dealing with a sensitive topic or topics in a sensitive way. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Cannons

Author's Response: Hi!!!

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the chapter!! It was tough to write!! I'm glad that you think I'm handling the topics well!! I hope you like the next chapter. And don't worry! It won't be cloudy for ever!!

xoxo Sarah


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Review #25, by CannonsMy Little Secrets: The Voices Inside Your Head

18th January 2014:
hey, when's the next chapter? ;)

I thought this was a great first chapter, and you've really involved me with the characters as many of their characteristics feel so real.

great job! :D

Author's Response: Hi! It's coming soon! I'm gonna sit down to write it out fully on wednesday!

I'm so glad you liked this chapter, thanks so much!

Thanks for the review!

xoxo LL


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