Reading Reviews From Member: Aisu Hoshino
  
52 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Aisu HoshinoVenom: A Tragedy: Act Three, Part One

23rd July 2012:
I love, love, love your writing style. It really captures me into the story.

I like the comparison between Rose and Montague, because they really do remind me of one another, both so calculating. I feel a little sorry for Scorpius, to be honest. I have decided I like your characterization of Rose - of the two of them, she's really probably the "villain" in a sense, and that's not the way it is normally portrayed. At the same time, it doesn't seem that many in the story see her thorns for what they are. Scorpius does, but he's still captivated, and the hatred the Slytherins have is because she's a Weasley.

I'm really anxious about pushing that "next" button.

Author's Response: Yay! Thank you! It's always wonderful to hear that my writing is captivating. I wondered whether the style for this story was too heavy-handed and elaborate, so it's great to hear that it was instead quite effective. :D

It was interesting to come across that realization while writing - I hadn't planned for Rose and Montague to be similar, but it emerged strangely, entrapping Scorpius between them. He's so connected to them both that, no matter how much he may be repelled by their cruelty, he is still attracted to the strength and power they wield. They're both extraordinary people, and Scorpius, while not ordinary, lacks that spark, be it passion or ambition.

I agree with you that Rose is the "villain" of the story, or at least as close to that role as one could get. Montague is more of a red herring - though he does, at times, take on that role too. To be honest, it's really very complicated, and I'll leave it at that. :P

Thank you very much for all of your reviews! It's fantastic to hear that you've enjoyed the story thus far, and I hope that you like the ending as well. ^_^


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Review #2, by Aisu HoshinoVenom: A Tragedy: Act Two

22nd July 2012:
I'm trying to decide how I feel about your characterization of Rose. It seems like she's somewhere between captivating and conniving - perhaps exactly as she should be, given her name.

Scorpius is also interesting - at least, I like his reaction to the Slytherin taunts, rising above them rather than letting them get to him. He seems a bit above his father in that regard, but at the same time has a hint of foolishness, which is probably appropriate in this particular story.

Author's Response: You've described Rose right there - she's a cross between the two, a highly ambivalent character with no clear loyalties, no clear ties except for that she shares with Hugo. She's difficult to pin down, which is why Scorpius finds her so interesting - she repels him as much as she draws him in, and so he wants to learn more. She captures his curiosity, and that leads to far more.

Scorpius is a bit of a noble figure here, taking family pride to heart in a different way from his father. Instead of gloating about it, he simply lives it - he can rise above the taunts because he's very self-confident and assured of his place in the world. It does lead him to over-confidence in many ways, which, like you said, suits the story - he suits the role of Romeo, the true reckless, feckless Romeo of the play, quite well.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing this story! :D


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Review #3, by Aisu HoshinoThis Longing: One Dark and Quiet Night

3rd April 2010:
I really do not have much to say in review of this chapter...it was just so perfect, so emotional, and written so well. It started suspenseful, had a tad bit of humor with the Blacks...and the rest was just intense perfection. It was the inevitable, and touched on the canon we know - but adds so much depth in the possible unknown behind-the-scenes. This is obviously a pivotal point in the characters' lives, and I feel for them.

And the scene with Minerva and Tibbs was beautiful. Amazing job, Violet, as always.

Author's Response: Perfect? Wow, it means a huge amount to hear that from you. This is an important chapter, so it needed to include a lot of different levels of emotion and suspense, so it's really amazing that you think it turned out so well. :D

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing once again. It's always a pleasure to receive a review from you. ^_^


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Review #4, by Aisu HoshinoThis Longing: This Endless Longing

30th December 2009:
Violet, you can really do amazing things with 4631 words. This chapter was all over the place. In-depth and emotional for both main characters, and yet still with dashes of humor and plot movement. I really love it.

I particularly related to Minerva this chapter. Not just because I could relate, but because the way you wrote it made me relate. I hope that makes sense.

You made me look up Lothario. I shall now giggle next time I play the Sims 2. I like the names and personalities you gave to the Ravenclaw's, particularly Featherby.

Bloody hell, he sounded like a pompous git, something that she would find absolutely alluring. Love that line so much! So Umbridge...I still say she should hook up with Riddle. Lol.

And eep there is not a next button. I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, I want to read more very badly, and yet at the same I feel so accomplished to have finally caught up. I will be waiting for an update, and I know it will be worth it. I really do love this story, and I think it might just be my favorite HP fic.

Author's Response: Wow! I knew it was an emotional chapter, stretching both characters to their wits' end, but it's fantastic that it's worked out so well and that you liked it so much. :D

Part of Minerva's section was based in real-life, as I knew what it was like to be stressed by school work and other things, and I thought that those worries would apply well to Minerva. Perhaps that realistic aspect of that part of the chapter made it more relatable? I don't know for certain.

I love making zany OC background characters. They don't affect the plot too much, and yet they are necessary for the story to ground the main characters, especially now that Grimm and Minerva are so emotionally troubled. Other characters have to contribute the humour and lightheartedness now.

And I had to bring the Umbridge plot back into the story somehow. I keep doing that, forgetting plot points and abandoning them along the way, so I slipped Umbridge in for a bit, also for some additional laughs. She's such a funny character to write! :D

I really need to start on the next chapter. It's mostly planned out and will hopefully be less emotional. There isn't that much of the story left, to be honest - three, four more chapters? Though, knowing me, six will probably be the case. :P Thank you again for all your reviewing and for liking this story so much. It means a lot to have someone to write for, who enjoys the story and its characters. ^_^


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Review #5, by Aisu HoshinoThis Longing: Grim Circumstances

29th December 2009:
Wow. Craziness.

And my description of their relationship last chapter should of been applied to this one. More Strongly. Yet it was so interesting to read this, as there is so much raw emotion in it. It's rather intense as well with the lack of interest on Dippet's part. Yet you still kept humor, what with the cat stuff and all.

Oh boy. Tibbs is reminding me of my boyfriend again. In the same situation, I could easily see him being determined to blame Riddle for everything while I thought of other options. Kind of scary making a connection like that so often, yet it makes things more interesting for me.

Author's Response: It's almost less frustrating/annoying in this chapter, though, because Minerva, at least, tries to make the relationship work at the end, but it's Grimm who messes it up. They're so close, and keep getting closer, yet there's always a little something to prevent them from being happy together.

Dippet's lack of interest could, in part, be due to him being much older and not having the same capacity of emotion as Grimm and Minerva do, especially since they're still adolescents. They're going through that turbulent age. :P But there is something suspicious in Dippet's actions too, though I'm still working on how to make it plausible.

All I can say is that I'm glad Grimm is that realistic as a male character. XD It helps a lot to know that is acting guy-ish enough, as it's hard sometimes for me, as a girl, to make him male-enough, as ridiculous as that may sound. Maybe it's the reason why there are so few male OCs out there. :/

Anyway, thank you again for reading and reviewing! I'm really glad that you're enjoying each chapter. :D


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Review #6, by Aisu HoshinoThis Longing: An Unequal Partnership

29th December 2009:
Very, very interesting chapter.

I felt so sorry for Grimm throughout most of this. It was nice to have one that focused on him so much, and it balances well with the recent chapter that dealt more with Minerva.

Loved the line about the teacher, and Davies' and Featherby's presence seemed to add a bit of humor. And of course, you've heightened suspense. So many great elements for one chapter.

Their relationship is so annoying, yet addicting and fun to read. Does that make sense? I don't really mean annoying in a bad way, just the many aspects of it, and the going back and forth make it...interesting to say the least. Like you want to shout at them sometimes. Make sense? I wouldn't doubt it if it didn't, it's far too early for me.

I never thought about this "generation" of characters like that before, despite the fact I've thought of them all as highly interesting characters. I guess I just never thought of them all collectively, even though they were all in that time period.

That's good to know about alright/all right. Alright always seemed fine to me, but I know people militant about it, so I guess I thought it was some big rule. It makes sense though, when looking at words like altogether, already, always, etc.

Author's Response: The story seems to be gravitating more toward Grimm, especially as it comes to Myrtle's demise, because Grimm is more involved in the mystery part - Minerva just wants to keep away from it. I'm glad that he's a sympathetic character - that really makes a difference in how the story will go from here. ;)

One thing I love about writing this story is mixing the humourous with the serious - my own preference is for stories that combine both, and it's great to know that this one does so successfully.

Haha, their relationship! It's absolutely frustrating! If I hadn't already written sequels, I would have ended up keeping them together. Their inability to admit how perfect they are for one another is, I guess, what makes the story. I am, though, trying to not overdo it, either, because there is a fine line between the addiction and just being annoyed to death. :P

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! It's wonderful to hear your opinions on each chapter (and extra special to think that, in this chapter, there weren't any noticeable typos). ^_^


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Review #7, by Aisu HoshinoThis Longing: Distractionary Measures

28th December 2009:
Finally, a kiss!! And all because of Riddle. I love that connection.

And I love how you made Riddle so...snakelike.

Moody! I love Moody. Can't wait to see what comes of this.

I did find a couple tiny mistakes.“Should have asked your for help ages ago.” Should be "asked you for help" or "asked for your help". Also, all right is two words.

I still can not help but be in love with your characterization. You know how to put in the small details that make characters what they are - the exploding snap, Moody's eyes, etc.

I can't wait to see where this goes. I am enjoying it very much.

Author's Response: Making Riddle evil shouldn't be as enjoyable as it is for me. :P He's wonderfully creepy and it's remarkable how easy it is to bring out his snakelike qualities - he can be charming and handsome, but the coldness is always evident, even if it isn't always connected to "evil".

Moody is another great character to write. I think I just love this "generation" of characters too much. :P It's wonderful that you like how I've characterized them. It's amazing how real they seem now that I've been writing them for a few years now.

I fixed the first error, but "alright" is a word, not as accepted as it used to be, but I don't see a problem with using it. It happens to be one of those words that is up to whoever uses it. ;) Thanks for pointing those things out again, I do appreciate it!

Also thanks again for reading and reviewing! I'm really glad that you like this story. ^_^


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Review #8, by Aisu HoshinoThis Longing: A Very Grimm Christmas

26th December 2009:
Oh, how good it is to get back to this story! I've missed it so much! I'm afraid college has kept me rather busy, and this is the first bit of fic I've read in months (probably since around the time of my last review).

And oh, was this worth the wait.

There was so much Minerva insight in this chapter, and I liked that. Your writing made me really see things through her eyes, really make me feel as if I could relate to her. Very breathtaking.

And the moments between her and Grimm were absolutely perfect, as always. I do like his mother.

And of course, I have to notice the teensiest of things in someone else's writing (yet curiously never my own, ha)

“And dinner will be a eight, dear, after Sir Percy returns from work. I’m sure he’ll be happy to meet you.” I'm pretty sure you meant at eight instead of a.

And, I must say, Minerva not wanting to get married seems very Minerva-ish, especially for the time period. I did love Tiberius's line there. So cute. I sense that this is a very important aspect of Minerva, and their relationship (or whatever it is they have).

Author's Response: Oh wow, it's great to see you reading and reviewing again! Thank you for coming back to this story, especially as the first fanfic you've read in a while, it really means a lot. ^_^

What was interesting about writing this chapter was how much it was focused on Minerva - there isn't much Grimm at all, and even when he's there, he's a bit more distant. If anything, it shows that I'm feeling more comfortable writing Minerva, and I liked being able to show her home life, if only to a small degree. The two of them are also a bit more playful with each other, being away from the stresses (and dangers :P) of Hogwarts.

Thanks for pointing out that error - those typos always seem to pop up. >< I've fixed it now.

I'm glad that Minerva is in character, even though, for that time period, such behaviour would have been out of the ordinary. She is too independent and strong, and that ends up being her weakness.


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Review #9, by Aisu HoshinoBlindness: Blindness

19th August 2009:
Okay, so I go to get a dose of This Longing and see this on your page and couldn't resist.

This is beautiful. You wrote a wonderful fic in five hundred words, and I can think of those three to describe it perfectly. You described Snape's emotions and thoughts so perfectly, so strongly, so painfully.

She is to go to another. Without him. I'm so glad you didn't add 'class' or 'one' to the end of the first sentence here. It made me think of her going to James instead of returning Snape's feelings, and that added depth to me.

This adds to my recent feeling that I wish Snape/Lily had been canon instead of Lily/James (except then we would a VERY different story). The part about Snape seeing them as two parts of the same whole, her as light and him as dark, really represents how I see the ship, if it were to work. But things ended up the way they should have. Lily, to our knowledge, was blind to Snape's feelings, and/or didn't return them. So sad, but expressed well here. I think it would be interesting to see a fic portraying Lily's side of things where Snape was concerned.

Great job, as always!

Author's Response: Another dose? Haha, it's great you find that story addictive and equally so that this one caught your eye. :D Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review this story, Aisu! I always appreciate and enjoy your reviews.

The lack of words really make Snape's pain more obvious; there aren't enough words for him to hide behind, to mask his extraordinary love for Lily. The last two lines emphasize his pain - not explicitly, but it's there. Those lines remind me of a song or poem, for some reason - when I first thought them up, I wanted to change the wording of the first one to make it more grammatically correct, but the repetition really hammers things home.

I did not see that about "she is to go to another" - I'd only used it in regard to another class, but wow, it also refers to James. "One" was there at the end of the sentence originally, but I removed it to get down to the right word count. That's just creepy. It was entirely unintentional!

I've been tempted to write an AU where Lily goes back to Snape, or forgives him. It bothers me that she, who is idealized by so many, is unable to forgive Snape for that slip of the tongue. Or perhaps she did, but was never able to tell him? It would make a very interesting story, seeing the "what if" side of things with this ship.

It's strange because I've only once been able to write from Lily's perspective, and it didn't work out that well. She's a very slippery character in the books for me, so writing her is uncomfortable, awkward. It would be great, though, if someone was able to show her side of the Snape/Lily relationship (there has to be at least one out there already). Whether or not she knew of his love - I don't know what would be more sad: her knowing, or that she never noticed it.


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Review #10, by Aisu HoshinoThis Longing: A Game of Chess

12th August 2009:
Oh, this was a wonderful chapter! I must have had a dozen lines I wanted to gush about in this review, only for me to realize there were far to many to love in this chapter to do so. It was written breathtakingly, but I did find a few mistakes due to my extreme nitpickiness.

His lips tightened, but looked away, defeated. You're missing a 'he' between the comma and 'but'.

There would have been enough time to reach here from the library long before she and Grimm had passed this room, especially with all their various. hesitations (where they only that? again she could not be sure). Where should be were.

It was not phrased as a question, that would have been unnecessary. The comma should probably be changed to a semicolon, or this should be split into two sentences. It seems like a run-on to me as it is.

Other than that, it was beautiful.

There really is much to love in this chapter. I loved the scene with Riddle and it made me wish we had seen the dance scene through their eyes as well as Grimm's. I loved the back-and-forth between Tibbs and Min. It seems like every aspect of their relationship was brought to light in this chapter - the love, the hate, the friendship, the romance, the annoyance, the confusion, and everything in between. Very breathtaking.

And I still love your Dumbledore. You handled the Grindelwald thing very artfully and very IC for Dumbledore. His characterization really stands out in this fic. Really all your characterization is great enough for me to see this as canon. I really can't wait to read more of this. I am afraid that my reviews may be a little spaced out right now due to a defective laptop battery charger, a multi-chapter fic in my review thread I need to finish reviewing, and RL being busy, but I don't think I can stay away from this fic for long and I will still read/review every chapter.

And...thank you so much for nominating me in the Dobby's. You have no clue how great it makes me feel.

Author's Response: Oh, this chapter is one of my favourites from the story, so it's wonderful that you enjoyed it so much. It was just a lot of fun to write, with the characters and all the twists and turns. It is a very "full" chapter in that way, like how you saw the various aspects of M/G's relationship coming to light. The mystery and romantic elements also come together here, which only adds to the fullness.

It's wonderful that you like how Dumbledore turned out here. I wanted to get some mention of his relationship with Grindelwald, especially since the latter has come to light as a great Dark Wizard during the 1940's. And the way that Dumbledore's heartbreak comes to mirror Minerva's really fit the story well. :)

I've fixed up those typos - thank you for mentioning them! And thank you for reading and reviewing. Your reviews are always a pleasure to read and respond to - you really deserve that nomination. ^_^


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Review #11, by Aisu Hoshinoas pure as driven snow: one

12th August 2009:
Very powerful. I still love your writing for the same reasons I said before, and I love how you wrote Bellatrix.

I only found a couple of spelling mistakes - a misspelled 'belonging and 'self-confident'. The only other grammar mistake is below.

She was barely out of school when she became a Death Eater, followers of the Dark Lord. Since Bellatrix is only one person, 'followers' should be changed 'a follower'.

Other than that, everything is beautiful.

I love how you portrayed Bellatrix. You captured her evilness perfectly (that poor cat...I love cats. I wish you had picked a different animal) and didn't go the typical route of trying to make her not seem evil. At the same time, you still make her seem very human and deep with her dreams. I love this portrayal - very IC and intense. I really hate that this chapter ended; I would love to see what you could do with a longer Bellatrix fic (or really, a fic with any of the Black sisters). This was an excellent fic and I'm glad you requested - feel free to do so again any time!

Author's Response: All fixed - again, thanks for letting me know! I'm very happy (and relieved) that you liked this take on Bellatrix, because truth be told, I had a hard time writing this piece. Bella doesn't come as easy to me as Narcissa or Andromeda. And I'm sorry for using a cat *blush*! I love cats too. As for a longer fic with any of the Black sisters - I have one chaptered fic about Andromeda (ten chapters) and two longer one-shots about Bellatrix and Narcissa respectively. But one day I might take on writing their childhood - I think that hasn't been as explored as their Hogwarts years and after. But one never knows, heh. Thank you so much for your reviews!

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Review #12, by Aisu Hoshinoas pure as driven snow: two

12th August 2009:
I really love your writing style. It's so eloquent and emotional. You let us really see who the characters are on the inside without having to have dialogue or ranting descriptions - you just show us with your writing. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I love it.

I found no grammar errors, but I do think you could split a couple of sentences into two or structure them with semicolons. It's not a huge deal, but they seem a tad bit on the run-on side to me (but I'm also extremely nitpicky).

If there was something Andromeda loathed it was displeasing her family, though not that they cared in the slightest, because she was still the bad seed. This is strictly a matter of opinion, but I would probably change this to "If there was something Andromeda loathed, it was displeasing her family. Not that they cared in the slightest - she was still the bad seed." Or "If there was something Andromeda loathed, it was displeasing her family; not that they cared in the slightest. She was still the bad seed." Again, this is mere personal opinion and suggestions. There's other ways you can handle this as well.

It was not as if she went beside herself and behaved improperly, because Andromeda just wasn’t the vindictive kind of girl, but she could relax and for once, feel like she was being herself and not someone she was expected to be. I would suggest something like "It was not as if she went beside herself and behaved improperly. Andromeda just wasn't the vindictive kind of girl, but she could relax and feel like she was being herself and not someone she was expected to be for once." Okay, my example here is rather sloppy and not good, but there are several ways to de-run-on-ize it if you want.

I also think that the part in parentheses about Andromeda and Ted could be taken out of parentheses and maybe even added to the previous paragraph, but this is just a matter of personal opinion. It's still good the way it is. I'm sorry if I sound pretentious at all - trust me, you write way better and more beautifully than I do.

Other than that everything is perfect. I love Andromeda's memories and the fact that her closeness to Narcissa is repeated, but I also love the independence you've given her and the love of reading. Really, she's exactly as I picture her and I love it. Great job!

Author's Response: First off - wow. Second - thanks so much for pointing those sentences out - I took your advice and split them up (run-on sentences is a weakness of mine and I never tend to really notice them, so thanks for letting me know). And don't worry, you don't sound pretentious at all - I'm just very happy that you've let me know, especially since these pieces haven't been edited and I'm kind of lousy at noticing my own errors =p Third - thank you so, so much for this review, and for having taken your time to point these grammar issues out. Means a lot!

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Review #13, by Aisu Hoshinoas pure as driven snow: three

4th August 2009:
Wow. Very powerful emotions in a short piece.

I do have to criticize the point on Andromeda being a Ravenclaw, since canon greatly suggests she was a Slytherin. Still, I had planned on sorting her into Ravenclaw in a story that I will likely never complete, so I can see the appeal.

That is my single critique. I noticed no grammar mistakes.

I like your characterizations and I think you captured all three sisters really well - Bellatrix the warrior, Andromeda the outsider, and Narcissa the one seeking to please. I like the closeness you gave to Narcissa and Andromeda, as I've always felt that there had to be some attachment. The last line was absolutely perfect.

Author's Response: Yes, I'm aware that the question of what house Andromeda was in has remained unanswered, though leaning to the Slytherin direction (I've written an Andromeda centric novella, and she was a Slytherin there), but I wanted to set the three sisters apart even more and because of that, I chose Ravenclaw for her in this particular fic. Anyways, thank you so much! I'm very happy you liked the closeness between Narcissa and Andromeda - I like to think that Narcissa, at least, isn't pure evil like Bella. Well, enough rambling on my part and again, thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #14, by Aisu HoshinoSoulmates: Meant To Be

4th August 2009:
Aww...

This was written well, and an interesting read. I only found one mistake.

“Look, even they’re even staring at us this very moment.” Even is not needed twice; the first one should be deleted.

Very minor mistake and the rest of the fic made up for it. The flow was wonderful.

I LOVE your Victoire...and Teddy's great too. But Victoire's rebelliousness and unwillingness to take the path her family chose for her is very interesting and good. I must admit I would be very put off if someone tried to push me with a guy so much. At the same time their story did make a very good, romantic, believable one. In a way it reminds me of Simba and Nala from The Lion King.

I like the touch of Teddy's adventurousness and that he's a Ravenclaw - very believable, considering his parents and James's admiration of him in the Epilogue.

I do wish that the ending had a little more to it, maybe more of the emotions, but that's probably because I hated to see it end. You did pick the right ending/path with this fic - it all led up to that famous canon kiss nicely. Great job with this, I liked it! Feel free to request again anytime!

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much for pointing that out! I hate typos and have already fixed it. ;)

I'm so happy to hear that! I set out to write a different sort of Victoire from what is usually depicted of her in fanfiction. Can't let Dominique have all the rebel fun xD. Wanna know a secret? It was sort of, kind of inspired by real-life events, but just the 'parents pushing the girl towards the guy'. The pair never got together though. Interesting comparision, I love Disney and The Lion King rocks!

Teddy's adverturousness was always planned. I like to think that he has a craving for danger and adventure, just like his parents, albiet to a lesser extent. I wasn't going to reveal his house but relented in the end, I thought it would nicely showcase that you can excel while in any house regardless of your family ties.

Truth be told, I was at a loss of how to end it, which is why it seems rather abrupt. Ending it with James interrupting them didn't fit well with the tone of the story plus it would have been too predictable. I did do a little foreshadowing of it though ;)

Thank you so much for your review!
~Misty


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Review #15, by Aisu HoshinoThis Longing: A Disastrous Affair

31st July 2009:
Oh boy. Umbridge and Riddle would make the perfect pair, no? Ok, maybe not, but it's fun to picture...

And somehow I'm surprised Tiberius managed to not strangle her, or at least I'm impressed he remained so cordial. Honestly she seems to be the embodiment of all he hates...

And I really have to admire your choice of words. Vigilant Moody, so perfect...

And Tibbs, being saved by Minerva...and then seeing her with Riddle. And then the suspense, between the house-breaker and the ending, it was really thrilling and I can't wait to read more.

Also, I'm interested in the two wars and their relation to this story.

Sorry for the...blotchy review but it's about 3AM here and I'm having temperature problems. Still, will read more soon. Probably tomorrow (later today?).

Author's Response: Haha, that's a pairing for a parody story! They're both very evil, though in different ways. Wow, I'm so going to have to write that one day. :D

It shows Grimm's strength that he managed to survive most of the evening in her company. He only cracked at seeing Riddle with Minerva. I suppose that it wouldn't be that difficult to tune out Umbridge's voice when necessary. ;)

I'm glad you liked this chapter! There's a lot going on in it and I was afraid that it would become confusing or too cluttered. I really wanted to build the suspense in both their relationship and the "mystery" sub-plot, ending in that cliffhanger to increase the impact.

Thanks very much for reading and reviewing, Aisu. ^_^ I really appreciate all your reviews.


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Review #16, by Aisu HoshinoThis Longing: A Bit of Bedlam

31st July 2009:
Is it strange that your responses to my reviews make me feel about as good as reviews for my stories do? Seriously. I'm glad I can be of some help with my ramblings. I imagine writing a male OC is hard - I mean I've written them before, but always as side characters rather than main. Considering how nervous I get about female OCs, I don't think I'd have the guts to attempt it...you do it wonderfully though.

And this chapter...my, I think it might be my favorite. So hilarious for the most part, yet still a bit tense. I loved Moody and for some reason I didn't see him coming, though I can't imagine why. I loved Tiberius's um...almost coming out with his feelings only to evade it. So...I'm not sure how to describe it. It's actually probably a prime example of their relationship, and if Tibbs wasn't guy-ish before, he certainly is now. He actually reminded me of my boyfriend, in a way...

And was my mind supposed to jump to - er - not so 12+ things at the drink talk? Cuz it did...

As for Minnie...one of the things that made me love this chapter from the start was the line about problems resulting from understanding Tiberius...it says a lot for her and her feelings in a humorous way, methinks. She loves him, she hates him, she wants him, she want's to repel him, but most of all she's scared of him and what could possibly result with him, that whole fear of love or people or something. Or I'm completely insane...

And it was interesting seeing her caught in such a position...honestly, what would the Trio say? And the War of Wits and Jane Austen/Lord Byron line was awesome.

Speaking of Austen, I have thus been reminded of Pride and Prejudice...

Anyway, I'm still loving this, and am favoriting since I'm actually logged in.

Author's Response: The responses make you feel good? Wow, that's quite amazing and I'm glad to hear it. I always feel like I'm rambling in responses, saying just whatever comes to mind based on the review. So at least the stuff I say isn't unintelligible or worse. ;)

Looking back at this chapter, I can see how it's your favourite. That scene between the three characters is very funny, and Tiberius is so awkward. It's even more funny because I didn't purposely make him guy-ish here, which is a good sign. But wow, he reminded you of your boyfriend? I hope that's a good thing! XD

There was a lot of innuendo in this chapter, so if your mind went off beyond 12+, you can blame in on the story. :P They are three 17 year olds, after all. This also explains Minerva's utter confusion about her feelings toward Grimm. While Grimm seems pretty set in his affections, Minerva takes a much longer time to decide whether or not she wants to be involved with him. And even then, she isn't entirely sure whether to maintain a relationship. It definitely makes her more realistic (I hope) and makes it more fun to write this story. ;)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing, and now for favouriting as well! It means a lot that you like this story, and I really appreciate hearing from you. ^_^


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Review #17, by Aisu HoshinoThis Longing: A Hint of Scandal

28th July 2009:
And the plot thickens...

Oh, Minerva trying to avoid Tiberius, Tiberius trying to get things right (and likely only making them worse...) and Umbridge! Lot's of things building up here, I believe.

I couldn't help but think that Tibbs is such a guy over the tears v. jinx thing...honestly. Though I suppose he could be right...still, he's very much so a guy. And right now I'm wishing tones of voice could translate over the internet so that that statement doesn't sound quite so silly...

And I really don't think he knows the game he's playing. Though I'm sure he'll spark some jealousy, I'm not certain his timing is good.

I'm definitely going to be reading more!

Author's Response: Haha, you're so right about him being a guy. I caught your meaning there, though I agree that it's hard to get such meanings across online. What you said here about his behaviour is a relief, actually, since I'm worried at times that he's not coming across as a "masculine enough" character. Though I've written male characters before, even in the first person, Grimm is my first male OC, which does make writing him a bit different.

He's rather doomed with the game he's trying to play. :P Poor Grimm. And to think that he's a Ravenclaw (as Minerva says at one point, I think).

Thanks again for the wonderful review! I really appreciate hearing from you! :D


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Review #18, by Aisu HoshinoThis Longing: Hidden Smiles

28th July 2009:
Another very good chapter. I spent most of the time wanting to laugh, and then went 'aww' at the end. You write a love/hate fic very well.

I love your use of humorous sentences, like that one I pointed out last chapter and the one about bothering her to an early grave this chapter.

And your characterizations are always good. I like Myrtle in this and already feel sad at what has to happen to her. Good job again.

Author's Response: The ending of this almost approaches fluff status. :P The two characters are very silly with each other in this chapter, which made it a fun one to write. I'm really glad that you liked it. :D

Myrtle will play an increasing role as the story continues, so it's good that she's turning out well already as a bit of a pathetic/tragic figure.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing, Aisu! It's wonderful to hear from you. ^_^


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Review #19, by Aisu HoshinoSnips 'n Snails: A Young Wizard's Tale: Prologue: Grown-up Questions

25th July 2009:
This was very nice. You delved right into it and handled first person so well that it felt like I was literally inside the fic. Very well-written.

The one grammar mistake I found is likely just a personal opinion.

A platter of Roasted Lamb narrowly missed my head as it clinked into the table and pulled me from my memory. Victoire had been right about one thing, this was certainly going to be an adventure.

It seems like that last comma should be a colon or semicolon but that could just be me. Very excellent writing job and style.

I love the feelings and thoughts Teddy has - all very realistic given what's going on. Your descriptions were very good too. I loved the scene with them as kids. Very fantastic job. I got very sad at the end.

One interesting thing is you making Dominique male...I realize it is a debatable thing but I still lean towards Dominique being a girl. Still, it was interesting to see the opposite take.

Very good job so far, I am interested in what will happen.

Author's Response: Thank you for this well thought out and helpful review. :) I'm very relieved to hear that someone feels that I tackled the first person aspect of this story adequately. Reading the sentance you copied here, it does seem as though that should be a colon or something. I am currently looking for a beta, so little things like that should be resolved soon. :) Realistic is what i'm aiming for, so that is a huge compliment. As far as Dom being male... I've always envisioned him as a boy. So, I took a chance and went out on a limb. Hopefully it doesn't put readers off.

thank you for reviewing, and hopefully you'll keep reading along.
-witness


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Review #20, by Aisu HoshinoThe Ties that Bind: The Ties that We Forget

11th July 2009:
Another very good chapter. The plot is very good, and your AU is very interesting - I really want to know more about what happened in your version of the Triwizard Tournament, as well as what happens next. You're characterizations are good, particularly Sirius at the end, and it's still excellently written.

Author's Response: Thank you again! I appreciate your review.

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Review #21, by Aisu HoshinoWerewolf Academy: I: Thanos

10th July 2009:
I have to say that this is a very well-written and original piece with an interesting concept. I liked Thanos and really wasn't expecting that twist at the end. I'm guessing Dwayne is the main character? It is certainly interesting and not confusing at all. Good job!

Author's Response: No, Dwayne isn't the main character, there really is no one 'main character' but there are several co-MCs and Dwayne is a rather imporant. I'm glad you liked it, thanks for the review!!!

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Review #22, by Aisu HoshinoThe Crimson Flow of Betrayal : Chapter One: The Birth of Scythe.

9th July 2009:
I have to say this is a good, original start to a fic. The beginning was so chilling, but got me very interested in Antonin and his family. Good work there.

One thing I have a problem with is Scythe's middle name. I'm fine with and even like the first name given the explanation, but the middle name seems rather masculine and non-pureblood-ish when combined with the first name, especially since it's left unexplained. I also wish that the curse that killed Corliss had been elaborated on. I found two grammar mistakes, but another reviewer has already pointed out one. As for the other,

“With Scythe, how’s is she?” Antonin asked,

Since how's is a contraction for how is, both are not needed. It would be best to either remove the 's or the is, probably the former.

I also would like clarification on the age difference between Antonin and Scythe. Antonin is six before Scythe is born, but only in fourth year when she is ten. That doesn't quite add up to me, unless it has something to do with the way their birthdays fall.

Still, this is written well and the characterizations are rather good and interesting. I very much am looking forward to where you go with this, and I hope you request again in the future. Good job!

Author's Response: I am glad that you like the start to this fic and am relieved to hear that the chilling start was interesting.

As for Scythe\\\'s middle name, I will have to look into it, I hadn\\\'t really thought about that aspect of her too much, I admit. I only focused on her first name, thinking that perhaps it was a little Mary-Sue. Thank you for pointing that out. The punctuation mistake as well.

The age difference is something I messed up on, Antonin was supposed to be getting out of fifth year. I will fix that as well. :]

I\\\'m happy to hear you think this is well written and the characterizations are interesting. I will request in the future when you have open slots. :]

Thanks so much for your help and your compliments.

Alex


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Review #23, by Aisu HoshinoSomething Accidental: Chapter 5

9th July 2009:
Wow, this chapter is so hilarious. I smiled all the way through. Again, very well written, and I loved all the interactions. I'm glad you brought Buckbeak in. I really do love this story, and will be adding it to my favorites to keep up with it. Thank you for requesting from me - this is an original and refreshing story.

Author's Response: I am thrilled that you liked it as you did. I want it to be a bit different, and I hope I can accomplish that without getting cliche. And, I do adore Buckbeak, who wouldn\\\'t?

Thanks for your insightful and wonderful reviews, they have helped so much. And I hope the rest of the story keeps your interest :)


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Review #24, by Aisu HoshinoSomething Accidental: Chapter 3

9th July 2009:
Another very good chapter. I loved Sirius's and Remus's interactions. I'm still rather absorbed in this and the writing is still great.

Author's Response: Thank you again for such a supporting review, really helps me to know I\\\'m heading in the proper direction.

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Review #25, by Aisu HoshinoSomething Accidental: Chapter 2

9th July 2009:
Very good chapter, one that actually has me worried for Alison. I loved your portrayal of Sirius - very realistic. This was very well-written, yet again.

I did find one mistake.

His mouth involuntarily gagged at the thought even though it was peculiarly pleasant memory. You're missing an 'a' in between was and peculiarly.

Other than that, everything was very well done. I am very interested in this story.

Author's Response: I\\\'m so glad I\\\'ve kept your interest! That\\\'s always a good thing to hear when you\\\'re writing something in your head that sometimes only makes sense to only you. Thanks again for the wonderful encoragement, and I added that \\\'a\\\' in as suggested :)

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