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Reading Reviews From Member: Veritaserum27
  
652 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Veritaserum27Playing for Keeps: Proposal Anxiety (Is Amusing)

3rd May 2017:
Hi there Mallory!

I'm here for BvB and I was so excited to see you'd posted last and I could get back to this story. Then I started reading it and REALIZING HOW MUCH I MISS IT. Zomg. I love these characters you've created. Annie is so real and I can relate to her so much. I'm also an introvert and I just. You really did an amazing job with this. I saw in you author's note that you think this is a fluffy chapter, but it's really so much more than that. You have so much inclusivity woven seamlessly throughout this that it's exactly the sort of story that people need to read.

How could one passing comment still stick so fast in my mind?

Ugh. I feel this so much. I always let the past creep back in with an offhand remark. And then I beat myself up over it. You really nailed it with Annie's emotions, here.

And Ethan is absolutely adorable. I love how you've got a little bit of everything with this story. And each character is truly unique. Haha - I laughed out loud at Annie's 'rephrasing' of Ethan's last name. I don't think I've ever heard that one before. Very clever.

The flashback scene was also well done to give us a basis for not only the Ethan/Hattie relationship, but how they are together as a trio. It's very refreshing to see such a healthy relationship in a story like this!

Sorry for skipping around in the review, but I've got to get back to this GIANT hole Annie has dug for herself. Eeep! How's she going to find a way out? Seriously, you've spun us one deep plot here. I can't wait to find out what happens next! Thanks again for the fabulous story!

♥ Beth

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Review #2, by Veritaserum27Forbidden: Prologue: The Dare

26th February 2017:
Hello, hello!

I'm here from BvB to leave you a review.

Okay, so first off, I'm very impressed that this is your first fanfic, because this chapter is well written. I love the tone you chose for Lily's voice. She's sarcastic and confident, but you've managed to clearly show the reader her awkwardness and insecurities at the same time. I love being inside her head and the fast pace of her over-active brain made the story easy to read, and also helped us to understand her. I'm always hesitant to take on 5,000 word chapters, but this did not feel that long at all!

As far as the story line goes, I loved the action and plot. You paced it very well, moving with urgency in all the right places and slowing down when it needed to.

There were so many things that grabbed me while reading this, I hope I don't forget to mention anything!

The action: So, so much happened in this chapter. The initial scene, where we meet the main characters and find out Lily's true love for Scropius, then there's the very long scene in the Forbidden Forest, and I was really impressed with your descriptions of the spiders, their venom, and the webs! My only critique of the entire chapter is that you probably could've split it up into two, because so much happened. It would be great to leave the reader with a cliffhanger at the end and have them feel desperate to click onto chapter two and keep reading to find out what happened. All the same, it reads really well the way you have it, but I thought I'd mention it.


The magical interpretation: There were so many great parts, but two really stood out to me. I liked the part where Lily had to figure out how to work the other wand - it really made sense and I could almost feel myself trying to do the same! The other part was the description of the spider-repelling curse. Both of these were such gems to find and it shows that you put a lot of thought into your story. I love it when an author doesn't bend the rules of magic to make their story flow.


The twists: They just kept on coming, didn't they? At every turn I kept thinking, okay... she's going to get out of this and then bam! there's a spider! Or a whole fleet of spiders! And when I thought she was coming around from being unconscious, I figured she'd been rescued and was safe, but NOPE! She had to rescue her rescuer!! I also was CERTAIN that the mysterious boy was Scorpius, but you surprised me again! Great job!

Overall, great opening chapter. I'm looking forward to BvB review tag again! Thanks for writing it!!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hello :)

Thank you so much!! I love every aspect of Lily- how she's witty and sarcastic and sometimes a bit awkward. This was quite a long chapter, but it rally didn't seem that long to write because I had this whole story line so I was genuinely REALLY surprised when it turned out to be 5000 words!

That forest scene...you're right, I probably should've split it into two, but I was kinda afraid to, since it's a prologue and all that. But I'll keep the length of the chapter in mind for future chapters :)

I really enjoyed writing the scene where she couldn't figure out how Lysander's wand worked :D and the technical bits, like the spider expelling curse, and how Ron fits into that too.

Oh, those plot twists ;) you'll find loads more of them coming up!

Thanks for the amazing review! :)


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Review #3, by Veritaserum27Julian: Julian

9th October 2016:
Hi there Aph!

I'm here for the October BvB! Wow - you can really do angst! I think you've taken Remus's brooding to a whole new level! However, as usual, your talent with characterization is spot on. This is the Remus we know from the books. He was always feeling very down about his condition and how it affected the ones he loved. Under that guise, he also lamented how the condition took him away from the ones he loved, too. It's a complicated chain reaction and you've made the two dance a complicated rhythm with your prose and description. I find myself agonizing along with Remus, but also desperate for a moment of reprieve from his torment.

I also think you hit the "Angsty boys like angsty boys" prompt right on the head. The way you used Regulus and Lily (and James and Peter to a lesser extent) to tell us about how incredibly difficult Sirius can be, I can hardly blame Remus for his mixed feelings toward him!

I also love the way you intwined the war into the story. We can hardly write a Marauder's era fic without mentioning the turmoil that was going on around them. In another time, another place, those four would've been branded as unruly teenagers, but the happenings of their time forced them to grow up before they were ready even Remus. His condition automatically forced him to deal with responsibilities beyond his years, but war does not discriminate in such a way. Remus used it to alienate himself even further.

Admittedly, I thought the title of this fic had to do with the calendar. I even looked up that the Julian calendar replaced the Lunar one, and I thought it was a fitting title for that reason. However, I feel a bit silly after reading your author's note - haha.

Beautiful writing, as always!

♥ Beth

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Review #4, by Veritaserum27Bereft: Bereft

15th August 2016:
Hi there!

Dropping of a review from the BvB review battle. I admit it took me a few minutes to choose something from your page because the banners were all so pretty and the story summaries so intriguing!

You write with the most beautiful prose. This story was posted years ago and I usually try to stick to an author's more recent work, but this one caught my eye. Normally, I would comment on the details, but they are embedded so beautifully in the pain and agony that Merope was going through, it seems too simplistic to comment on them.

Throughout the entire story, there was this rush a sense of urgency at the impending birth, but it was wrapped around, and twisted through this overwhelming feeling of utter hopelessness. Merope knew her fate. She didn't fight it or even try to understand it. It was really the story of her entire life, how she was so completely beaten down that she didn't ever feel that there was any other end for her. You captured this with beautiful, but sad poignancy.

Really, really fabulous work! I look forward to reading and reviewing more of your stories!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi Beth!
Oh my goodness, what a fantastic review! Seriously, you're making me blush. ;) I wrote this story so long ago I actually had to go back and read it again just to see what it was all about, lol. Needless to say, I am thrilled that you enjoyed it. Because it is a drastically AU story, I was afraid that readers might not like the ending, especially since it's so sudden, but your kind comments really reassured me and absolutely made my day. Thank you so, so much! It was just wonderful hearing from you. :)

Best,
Lee Anne


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Review #5, by Veritaserum27(1) The Grand Scheme of Things: Chapter 1 - Talking instead of Stalking

18th May 2016:
Hi again!

I'm here for the BvB review battle once more. I decided to start with your most recent story this time, and it also looks like the one you've put the most time into.

I really like how you've set the scene for this first chapter. We meet (what I presume to be) the two main characters and they are both lovable, empathetic, flawed and personable. Using first person POV is a good choice here, because I really feel sympathetic to Olly's angst. Your descriptions of the panic attack are well done and even a little too good at times, because I found myself having a difficult time breathing. You never strayed from the focus being the main character, but at the same time, we learn a lot about Clara - and her personality and fears as well.

Olly seems to suffer quite a bit from low self esteem and I hope he and Clara get sorted into the same house, but I also want him to learn that he can make other friends as well - I mean really! It's only the first day, Olly!

The chapter provided a little bit of everything: it set the scene for the story, gave us two characters to care about, got going on a little bit of plot with the other boys (I wonder who the boy is that looked so familiar?), and even gave us a few chuckles!

Great job!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing my story! It's basically my child (I know that sounds really weird, but that's how I feel about it) so I'm glad you liked it.

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Review #6, by Veritaserum27Home, Suite Home: Home, Suite Home

17th May 2016:
Hi there!

I'm here from the Ravenclaw Common Room for the BvB review battle.

This was such a sweet story! I feel like you managed to pack a lot into such a few words. You did a good job of characterization of these three young women. I can totally see Luna building a play-house out of the cardboard boxes. And you got Ginny's temper just right - I was waiting for her to lose her cool when the hot chocolate splashed down her shirt.

Poor Hermione, I could truly feel for her situation post-war. That must've been extremely hard to deal with her parents not remembering her. :( You managed to pack a lot of back story into this - I feel like I know these girls so well!

My favorite part was the ending. Luna and Ginny really came through for their best friend, and they gave her just what she needed - a place to call home! This was a lovely read - and a real pick-me-up story. Thanks so much for sharing it!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked my story :)

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Review #7, by Veritaserum27The Minister of Magic's Daughter: Journey to Hogwarts

7th May 2016:
Hi there!

I'm here for the BvB review battle! I was so excited to see someone else join the Bronze Team. I was worried I'd have to carry it alone this month!

I really enjoyed this chapter where you took some time to set the tone of exactly where Cassie is at, emotionally. I think you did a fabulous job getting the balance between all the pressures on Cassie and how she's dealing with them. With that, there are two things that I absolutely ADORE about your heroine in this story. First off, I LOVE that she's a goody-goody. I don't know how this story's going to play out, but it seems like she's embracing that part of herself. While she has times that she feels rebellious, she knows what her true nature is. It's refreshing to see a main character that isn't a prankster. The second part is that you've really nailed it with the double-edged sword that comes with being extraordinarily attractive. You don't sugar coat it and, at the same time, you also don't overplay her feelings with dramatics.

I feel like Cassie is being much too hard on herself. At the heart of it, she's just a kid in school. She should let herself have some fun and experience all the things that kids do. Larissa is so jealous, it's scary. I was nearly yelling at the screen some clever retorts that Cassie could've used. Only a bully ACTIVELY seeks out their target to make sure they put in some extra nasty digs.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

♥ Beth

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Review #8, by Veritaserum27Pride and Scorpius: Between the Tryouts

4th May 2016:
Hi there Andrew!

I know it's been so terribly long since I've left you a review - and I apologize for my tardiness. I'm leaving this as part of the BvB, by the way!

And even though I haven't stopped by in a while, I absolutely adore coming back to your story. The characters, plot and details are so well fleshed out that it's a pleasure to dive back in!

And while the writing is the main reason I love your story - your chapter images are just icing on the cake. I just scrolled back up to the top to refresh my memory and let out a loud chuckle. I remember that when I first saw it upon clicking on the chapter, I was confused, thinking to myself, "That looks like poo in a pocket of paper, but really what could it be?!"

Another thing I love about your story is the sheer expanse of characters. Most authors either stick to a small cast and do what they can with that, or end up splaying their story all over the place with far too many characters because they can't land on a plot line. I really like your balance - and each new incident and person that we meet is used to enhance something about Rose (or Scorpius) and to drive the story along. You did a fabulous job with this - and I love how you brought the story back to Rose's POV for the ending. It was a nice way to ground the story line.

Fairclough, Fairclough, Fairclough... What a clueless prat. I'm sure he's very book smart, but also prejudiced and bold. I actually appreciate the fact that he wasn't a Slytherin - good job not falling into the cliche on that one. Flitwick was written very well, and I could just see his face change as he stammered in shock at how daft Fairclough could be. It also seemed very appropriate that Stephen was called out for his role in the incident. It wouldn't have been fair for him to get away with his prank without at least a talking-to.

Oh! So who is this fourth year Gryffindor who is in Rose's spot? I wonder if it's someone who has a grudge against the Weasley's in general - or just a kid who doesn't like being told what to do by a first year ickle girl? I guess I'll have to read on to find out! I also want to know what Rose has up her sleeve to 'take care of the situation.'

Great chapter - I did notice a few typos here and there, but nothing major!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Never apologise for the break between reviews if this is the standard of review that you leave. The BvB's are always a good excuse to get back and review a story that one likes anyway.

Your comments are always blush inducingly good.

I do try to make the chapter images germane to the situation. I did wonder if I should attempt to illustrate the envelope of poo. Firstly I didn't know if I could pull it off, and secondly, if I did I would have a picture of poo at the top of the chapter. But it forms the main thrust of the chapter, so what could I do? I'm glad you ... liked it?

I am going for a long story here, as such I need to populate the castle with a few people: the broader the scope, the more cast I need. But it is true, most of the people you see will either advance the plot or highlight the character of Rose or Scorpius in some way. Oh there is another reason for the inclusion of named characters, that they are fun to write - like Hagrid.

This story is, in a lot of respects, all about Rose's POV.

Fairclough, yes. What an interesting thing the writing process is. I had no idea that Fairclough even existed when I sat down to write this story, he evolved out of Stephen, who himself evolved out of the necessities of the story. After creating Stephen - for the sole reason that I needed some elf to be a bit dismissive of Rose - I brought him back because he was a delight to write. And the more he grew in my mind the more story lines were able to be wrapped around him. I became aware that how I had him behaving is like a second generation free elf. Once I knew that, Fairclough grew out of a need to develop this aspect of the character of Stephen. 'Work to Rule' has always been one of the chief tools of the disenfranchised and the enslaved.

As to Fairclough himself, he should have paid attention to his name a bit more shouldn't he, but alas some people cannot break away from their upbringing. As to him not being in Slytherin, I really wanted to break the whole 'Slytherin is Evil' thing that sort of came across in the books. JKR needed villains, sure, but to make them all come from Slytherin was, I think, a bit lazy; or at least inconsiderate. We will find that there are plenty enough dirtbags and bullies and reprobates to have some from each house. Oh, there will be villains to come from Slytherin, but there will also be some from the other houses too - including Griffindor.

Thanks for saying that I wrote Flitwick well, like McGonagall and Hagrid I found him a delight to write, but unlike them I didn't know if I pulled it off as well. I wanted to show with him, that he is an experienced teacher, and even though, in the books, this aspect of his character is not played up so much, I don't expect that he would suffer fools gladly. He is smart and I think that people so obviously not using their intelligence, as Fairclough was, would rub him up the wrong way.

But also Stephen was not entirely blameless in the incident. He was provoked, but ... If I say so myself, I do like how I wrapped it all up, it all just fell into place as I was writing it. It also allowed me to bring back Trevor, who will also reappear later on too. The interactions between him and Flitwick serve to demonstrate how the reactions between people who respect each other should proceed. As a contrast to those between Stephen and Fairclough.

As to the mystery fourth year ... well you shall have to wait as all will be revealed in the chapter to come. And the same goes for the 'solution' that Rose has to the problem.

Argh, typos, ever my bane; I shall endeavour to find and eliminate them.

Thanks so much for this lovely review, as of this response the story has had 7644 reads, and this chapter has had 185; thank you all.


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Review #9, by Veritaserum27The Rise of the A.W.L.: Professor Merrickson

6th March 2016:
Hi there,

And I'm back for another review to help HPFF - not to mention that I get to help HPFF AND read this fabulous story.

I know he hasn't been a major part of the last few chapters, but I really love your version of Albus. He's such a worrywart and Rose knows that about him. At the same time, I adore your overly-curious Rose too! She reminds me of me at that age, although I don't think I would have had quite the courage she does to break the rules and push the envelope.

Ooo. Professor Merrickson seems much too old school for this lot of next gen characters. I don't know if her style of teaching will be tolerated by the older students, who are used to the type of freedom and respect afforded by Professor Blackburn - however, if she was their teacher in the past, they'll know what to expect from her and that might be alright.

I have the same concerns as Rose does - if they've going to the trouble of hiring a competent substitute, it stands to reason that the staff might not know exactly when Professor Blackburn will be returning. She might have to be out for longer than a week. And I'm even more concerned if the Wolfsbane potion is no longer effective for her, will this be a monthly occurrence? That would not bode well for her. I think it would give the A.W.L. a reason to petition the school and claim that she was unfit to properly carry out her teaching duties. (haha - I feel like Albus, worrying over something that hasn't happened yet!)

Because you've been such a fabulous proof reader for me, I wanted to point out a typo I found here:

It probably was. And then you'd that complete idiot of a Felicity King suggesting she might have not taken the potion. Seriously, why would she do that?

I think you mean to write have between you'd and that? I'm not certain as it may just be a regional dialect that I'm not familiar with.

I feel like the plot is really thickening with this now. Each chapter adds another layer to the mystery. Great job!


♥ Beth

For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

Author's Response: Really glad you like my versions of Rose and Albus. Rose has some similarities with me at that age - being a know-all for one thing. She's way more courageous though. There is no way I'd do any of the things she did, especially the way she talks to the teachers and stuff. I would have been acutely embarrassed just knowing a teacher was upset. I'd probably have WONDERED about a lot of the things she asks about, but I wouldn't have asked them.

The powerlessness is something I do remember from being that age though. I was interested in politics and stuff, but not being able to so much as vote meant there was absolutely nothing I could do. I knew one vote wouldn't make much difference, of course, but I still remember really wishing I could vote in a particular referendum I felt strongly about, because at least it would FEEL like I was doing something.

And yeah, as a teacher who is of a similar age to Harry and the others, one difference I have noticed between my students and my own age group is that teenagers today are WAY more aware of their rights and less likely to accept "I'm the teacher and this is what I say."

And of course, Blackburn is particularly lenient (I don't think I'm a particularly strict teacher myself, but I'm stricter than her - maybe more like Flitwick or Remus) so they are used to getting away with a fair amount in Transfiguration. Bit of a change from the days of McGonagall.

There will be some speculation as to what might have happened with the Wolfsbane and whether it was a one-off or what in the next chapter. Nobody in the story is entirely sure what's happened yet, but people like McGonagall and Hermione are looking into it and we'll hear Hermione's view in the next chapter. Teddy's view will come up at some point too, but can't remember which chapter that is - "Blackburn Returns", maybe.

And yes, getting a sub does indicate she'll be out more than a day or two, but a week is probably long enough to necessitate a sub. Although McGonagall could maybe do it for a short period.

There will also be some indication as to how long Blackburn might be out in the next chapter.

Thanks again for the review. Looking forward to seeing what you'll think of the next few chapters. The last three and some of the next few are some of the ones I liked best - yeah, I like ruining things for my characters.


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Review #10, by Veritaserum27The Rise of the A.W.L.: Things Fall Apart.

6th March 2016:
Hello again,

I love the fact that I get to read this story and help HPFF at the same time! I'll admit, I was a bit worried about this chapter because the title was so ominous - but I'm even more frustrated (in a good way) at its conclusion. Things seem more confusing and stressful than ever and poor Rose seems to be taking on the world right now. A few things I've summed up from this chapter: Rose is starting to spread her network of spies. She now has James, Albus, and Scorpius working to find out any information. And although Angie isn't officially part of it all, she'd definitely tell Rose if she'd heard anything. Another thing: I'm beginning to be suspicious of Cavendish. He's a professor and he's got lots of access to Professor Blackburn's notes and personal information, but he's too much of an unknown for me to be comfortable with it.

While I think McGonagall was right in her administrative response to Professor Blackburn's current physical and mental state, I'm not certain, she's correct in her deduction of how the A.W.L. would read into the failure of the potion. I'm sure they'd love to find ANY sort of a loophole to suggest the children of Hogwarts aren't safe.

Until next time,

♥ Beth

For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

Author's Response: This is probably the pivotal chapter of the story.

Hmm, Cavendish. Not sure anybody else has expressed suspicion of him yet, but yes, he is a character Rose and Albus don't know much about, since his subject isn't one they can take yet and therefore we don't know much either. And of course, we only have his word for it as to why he was looking through Blackburn's things.

Your suggestions about how the A.W.L. will react are interesting, but probably wouldn't be the best things for McGonagall to tell Blackburn at this point. She's anxious enough, poor girl.

More will be revealed about what happened in a few chapters time. Or at least there will be further speculation.


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Review #11, by Veritaserum27The Rise of the A.W.L.: Their Greatest Fears.

6th March 2016:
Hi again,

I'm back for yet another chapter. My goodness, Rose does have to do a lot of backpedaling to cover up her nosiness, doesn't she? Hee hee. I adore her, but I always get a bit tense when she's up to her sneaking around. I can't say I wouldn't be doing the same thing, either, but I definitely wouldn't have her confidence.

Great scene with the boggart. I guess I never really considered how personal that lesson could get to the students who were facing it. And not just for Angie (I'll come back to her in a moment). Albus and Rose too. I think that Rose learned a lot about all of her classmates and I'm wondering if Angie wasn't the only one who felt a bit over-exposed after that lesson. I actually really, really admire your parallel to the books on this one - where Lupin (another werewolf) was the DA teacher who taught the spell to Harry and his class.

Poor Angie - now it's all out in the open and I'm sure Nasty Dora will take full advantage of this piece of information. I'm sure the other students won't allow her to take it too far, but that hasn't seemed to stop her in the past, has it? Rose is a really good friend, and I'm glad she can see that she can't quite relate to Angie's situation, but is willing to put aside her own discomfort to show her friend some support.

♥ Beth



For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

Author's Response: Yes, it occurred to me that the boggart classes could get very awkward for some kids. Kids who were abused or had other traumas in their past or imagine what it must have been like the year after Deathly Hallows - when most kids in Hogwarts had essentially spent the previous year being abused and some had probably been arrested due to being Muggleborn and others had had family members killed. Not all kids are going to have things like clowns or spiders as their greatest fears. I was also debating how to reveal Angie's background, as there have been a number of hints both in this story and the previous one that there is SOMETHING wrong - her not going home for Christmas, her reference to Blackburn having been kind to her her when she was upset and so on. So it seemed to me that this was a good way to both make the whole boggart thing more realistic (and more angsty, since this is a Margaret-production) and reveal what I needed to.

It is also a good way to give some insights into characters, like Albus's fear of not living up to his family's expectations and Rose's desire to protect those she cares about.


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Review #12, by Veritaserum27The Rise of the A.W.L.: Clean Slates.

6th March 2016:
Hello - hello!

I'm back for another chapter.

I really feel like I'm visiting with Rose and the Weasley family with your writing. You have a great eye for detail and I love how nicely your stories fit into canon. It was also nice to see Hermione's parents and, now that Hermione is a mum, a little perspective on what it's like to send your child off into the relatively unknown. The New Years Eve "party" at the Burrow was lovely. Great job capturing what it was like to be part of a large family with lots of cousins. Actually, my dad is one of five boys and on the rare occasions that I spent the night with my grandparents and all my cousins it was much the same - a sort of controlled chaos, with the adults trying to maintain control, but the kids were far too excited just to be together.

Oh! I think Rose wasn't the only one that forgot about the trunk - haha - I completely forgot that she wanted to see what Dora was up to. It was a nice surprise that you didn't end the chapter on a cliffhanger and told us what was inside! I bet that Dora snuck out whatever was in there during (or right before) the holidays!


♥ Beth

For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. It was very much a filler chapter, although there are a few things that hint about future events, like Lily's feelings about starting Hogwarts.

Sounds like you and your cousins had good fun as kids. My dad had two brothers and a sister, but he was in his mid-forties when I was born (and his siblings are all older than him), so the eight cousins I have on that side are all WAY older than me and some of them I've never even MET, since they were away at college and stuff before I even started school. And my mum's brothers are both much younger than her, so the oldest of my cousins on that side is 6 years younger than me and the youngest is 20 years younger.


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Review #13, by Veritaserum27The Rise of the A.W.L.: Victoire's Woes.

6th March 2016:
Hi there!

I know it's been ages since I've left you a review and I thought there wasn't a better time to that than right now, when my review can help HPFF stay online!

I think my favorite part of this chapter is the characterization of Ron and Hermione. While it's obvious they both love their kids and each other very much, you've done a fabulous job with keeping their personalities intact. And the bickering is hilarious. It's even more funny that their kids know that about them. I loved the part where Rose feels right at home because her parents are arguing. At the same time, you've managed to keep the political storyline going as well. Ron and Hermione are right to keep one ear to the ground, so to speak, because they've seen what complacency can do. And Hermione is very clever to wait out (tentatively) the A.W.L. (although I'm not so sure they're keeping quiet because they've giving up - I feel like they're just plotting something.)

And poor Victoire. I quite agree with Rose - that she's got nothing to worry about. However, I can see her concern. She doesn't seem to be naturally jealous, and wanting to spend time with her boyfriend is completely reasonable, but Teddy and professor Blackburn have a connection that she can't quite relate to, and that can be a bit unnerving.

Great chapter! Can't wait to read the next one!

♥ Beth


For the HPFF Review-a-thon!

Author's Response: Apologies for the delay in replying. I have been VERY busy these last few days and your reviews are so awesome, I didn't want to give rushed replies.

Hmm, your suggestion about the A.W.L. planning something is worth keeping in mind.

That whole Victoire/Teddy/Blackburn thing was SO hard to write because I didn't want to make any of the three characters look bad. And it can't be easy for Victoire, seeing that relationship between them.

Thanks for the review.


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Review #14, by Veritaserum27Aurora Borealis: If you love me, let me go...

25th February 2016:
Hi there Anja!

I'm here for the February BvB review battle.

Okay - so I know you're not a Dramione shipper and neither am I, but that doesn't mean I enjoy a well written story - and this was fabulous. I really like the take you put on it. Most Dramione's are rather unrealistic and very over-the-top with the drama and romance, but this had everything put into such few words. I was really feeling all of Hermione and Draco's emotions. They both are such tortured souls, but the drama isn't overdone. Everything it entirely believable. Hermione needed a moment away and found Draco, who'd always intrigued her. But in the morning, her logical brain took over and she fled in horror of her actions. And Draco, who was a boy forced to become a man too soon could never allow himself the pleasures of what it meant to be whole again. Thanks for pounding my heart into a little pulp - haha.

Your language in this is brilliant. My favorite lines were these:

How could I have known you would break what was left of me?

and

You drained all the color from my life.

Wow. It's simply moving to read those words.

Really fabulous job with this!

♥ Beth

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Review #15, by Veritaserum27The Twelve Days of Christmas: Molly

21st February 2016:
Hi there Stefanie!

I'm here from the BvB to leave you a review. I thought I'd continue on with this story. Gah - you write drunk people so well. It's really hard to carry that through for an entire chapter, but you've done a fabulous job with it. And even though both girls are quite inebriated for this whole scene, I could still feel the Christmas Spirit spreading throughout. They both area really close friends and are spending their Holidays exactly how they want to - with each other. Through the are of showing and not telling, I've been able to deduce that they are in their early twenties, and basically just enjoying life. They don't have too many troubles to concern themselves.

And haha! How do you come up with these ideas - to make the Weird Sisters a has-been band, reduced to performing Christmas Specials to make a quick buck? That's so clever. Those poor blokes, I almost felt bad laughing at their expense - but you wrote it so funny, I couldn't help but grin and their misery. It was a great way to show that the band that their parents positively drooled over were nothing but a lot of drunk buffoons. Ah, the circle of life.

I'm really enjoying this series. What a great idea! I can't wait until the next one!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hello Beth!

Thank you for the lovely review! I knew when I started this that I had to write a drunk friends scene eventually. The holidays are about having fun and letting go a but after all!

You guess right that they are in their early twenties. As you maybe have noticed, the chapters go by order of Weasley cousin age, so Victoire is first as she's the oldest. From canon we know that Victoire is twenty-three by year 2023 and James is nineteen. So Roxanne, Molly, Fred, Dominique, Louis, and Lucy are all between twenty-three and nineteen. I imagine that Molly and Laura are twenty-two, the same age as Roxanne and a year younger than Victoire.

Its kinda fun to enjoy the Weird Sister's misery. They used to be so cool! Tonks and Ginny were so into the Weird Sisters! Everyone used to think they were cool! Oh how the tables have turned.

Hehe. Thanks again for a lovely review!!

Stefanie


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Review #16, by Veritaserum27Mistaken for Strangers: James Attends a Party

19th February 2016:
Hi there J!

Here for the BvB. I know you asked for reviews on some of your other stories, but I'm really getting into this one, so I hope it's alright.

Is a creature magical because it is capable of magic, or is a creature magical because it has been created by magic? James recited, nodding. And going off of that, how should the treatment of magical creatures be affected by the outcome of this? But I really liked how Kant introduced the categorical imperative and how it influenced his views of Muggle-wizard relationships. Not to mention how Rawles applied the veil of ignorance to that view-

Oh. My. God. I can't with the nerdiness. Be still my heart. I think my OTP might be nerding out about magic and WHAT you made Shakespeare a WIZARD?! I can't even. But it makes SOOO much sense. And your James is just so lovable I need more lovable James.

And poor, poor Rose. She is just so bad at pranks - and a bit too gullible for her own good. She should know never to believe Fred when it comes to jokes and WWW products. I'm so, so glad James was there to save her. That prank was in a bit of poor taste (b/c Rose is just a bit clueless) and I don't think a lot of the kids really got it. And I think I feel even worse for Scorpius. He seems like such a nice guy in this story - and he doesn't deserve this :(

Of course Fred doesn't know which twin.

I can only hope that James's family comes to his side when he needs them just as much as he does for all of them. He really deserves it!

♥ Beth

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Review #17, by Veritaserum27Taming the Dragon Tamer: [six]

19th February 2016:
Hi there Anja!

I'm here to leave you a BvB review. I know you asked for one of your newer stories, but I only had one chapter to go on this, so I hope you don't mind too terribly much :D

The feels - The. Feeelsss.

Anja. I need more. I need a sequel. Charlie just got better and was able to let someone in for the FIRST TIME and now the story is over. And Chris is just sooo perfect for him. Can you please write me more?

Your talent with emotions in this was pure brilliance. I felt it all and I wanted to jump into the computer and have a group hug with them. And ooo when Chris was able to pull Charlie out of the attack it was such a beautiful moment. ♥ (I know you like that symbol - haha). I could feel Chris's frustration at wanting to touch Charlie and feeling so much for him that he had to be as close as possible.

Great job with your description of the Final Battle from Charlie's POV. And the whole war. Geez, when you put it like that, I can understand how frustrating it might have been for Charlie to feel so far away and unable to help his sister and brothers until the very end. Then he lost David and it was just so sad. I'm so glad he found the words to tell Chris that he wanted him to stay. I really could've seen it going either way, but YAY for Happy Endings! ♥

I'm so glad you've written this story - and I can't wait to read more of your work!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: BETH!

Hey, I got two reviews for one... that's cool :)
I'm so happy you enjoyed it... there's no need for a sequel yet, because I'm still working on more chapters for this story. It's not really complete yet, and I feel terrible for not updating since May, but with stuff happening here, I wasn't really in the right mood to write a happy couple. (hey, my novel was meant to be just romance, but then I was feeling down and had Draco abducted and Muggleborns imprisoned in northern Russia.)
I'd rather give it time than to screw up this story I love so much. I plan to finish it over the summer though, and I still have about 15 chapters to go.

Thanks for all the praise, this was such a great review and it really made me grin like a fool :D

♥ Anja


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Review #18, by Veritaserum27Introducing...: Introducing... James Potter

18th February 2016:
Hi hi!

Stopping by from the common room for a BvB review!

And - I'm on to chapter 2!

Wow - you really know how to set a tone. Since I've read a few of your other stories, I know how gifted you are at setting a scene and drawing the reader in with your descriptions - but this level of characterization is really something. Haha - James is SO full of himself. I mean, it's obvious that no one has EVER turned him down or put him in his place. He is a pretty awesome guy (in terms of quiddtich and probably looks), but he definitely knows it. He's even fairly confident that Meghan will help him out. If I remember correctly from the last chapter, Meghan was sort of caught off guard by his entrance and asking for help - and her role continued nicely into this scene as well. She was definitely taken aback by his request.

And I like how he hadn't even considered ANY other option for the girl of his fancy. I also like that he's already got the plan all set in his head - and he's so confident it's going to work, he doesn't even ask Meghan her opinion. In my own mind, I think his plan is a little half-baked and there are about one hundred ways he could go about this that would be better, faster and more respectful than his "get a good grade in Muggle Studies" idea, but I think I'll just enjoy watching him fall on his face for a bit :D

My only cc with this chapter is the lack of spacing between the paragraphs. The words and rhythm you've created are fabulous and I feel like I'm drawn right into James's hyper-active mind, but because the paragraphs are all sort of stuck together, I found myself losing my place a few times while reading. Most authors put one whole blank line in between their paragraphs for easy reading (the equivalent of hitting enter twice at the end of a paragraph or line of dialogue). I just recently switched over to a double space in between my paragraphs (which means, I hit enter three times) because I've noticed that in stories that do that, it's even easier to read. It wold really look great in a chapter like this one because your eyes wouldn't stop moving - like James's lips - haha!

Anyway - great second chapter, I'm really enjoying this story!

♥ Beth

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Review #19, by Veritaserum27Playing for Keeps: It's a Man's World?

16th February 2016:
Hi there Mallory!

I'm here for the BvB and I was SO excited to see that you'd posted so I could get back to this story. Holy cow I have quite a few chapters to catch up on, huh?

Okay, so a TON of stuff happened in this chapter. Actually, I feel like this is the beginning of the next section of the story. We meet the next group of characters that (I think) Annie will be spending quite a bit of time with for the next few months or so.

Aaannnd - I didn't really think anyone was going to irritate me more than Freddy's treatment of Annie, but SHEESH! These people are vile.

A moment to Honor the Great Mallory for creating this AMAZING world. I mean, I was really drawn in to their seediness. My, how the next-gen has fallen! Rose is the ring leader for an underground group of thugs, Scorpius is her (hopefully) willing sidekick. Seamus and Dean's son is beyond creepy and Cho's son is downright a word that I can't type in this review because it wouldn't follow TOS.

Haha - I didn't have much hope for McLaggen's kid and literally anything is possible for Luna's kids, but I think that Lorcan might be mostly harmless.

The scene was written fantastically - it unfolded nicely as you introduced a whole slew of people that are pretty important to the plot. I haven't yet commented on Rose - but she seems characterized really well. I'm glad Annie is keeping her at a bit of a distance for now - however my intuition tells me that those two will get on swimmingly.

The biggest surprise for me in this chapter was Freddy. He checked up on Annie twice, asking if she was okay. This seemed really out of character for him, although I have a feeling he was trying to protect his investment - but maybe it's a bit more and he's not quite as vile as he seems. Or maybe he's just not as vile as the rest of that lot.

Anyway, this was an amazing, fabulous, incredibly well-written chapter to this story! I can't wait to keep reading it!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi Beth!

Here I am, almost a whole year later. Whoops. I'm sorry for not responding sooner!

Yeah, Freddy is kind of revolting, but he's got hidden depths, I promise! He really comes into his own in later chapters, but for now, he's pretty gross.

Lolol, thanks so much! ♥ Yeah, I love writing fallen!Next Gen because they're SO bad. They're my cabinet of bad babies, and they're all creeps. Lorcan may very well be harmless, but he's also implicated in this whole scheme, so how harmless can he be?

THanks so much! Yes, Rose is the Big Bad here--fighting fire with fire, but not taking any crud from other people. (And thereby internalizing misogyny and being a general jerk.) Annie is really not convinced by her, but that'll all come to a head later.

Yeah, like I said, Freddy is one of those characters that starts out pretty gross, but he's got hidden depths. He cares but doesn't care, and yeah, he's a businessman so he's all about protecting his investments. He's definitely not quite as vile as the others, but yeah, he's a conflicting character.

Thanks for your review!
♥Mallory


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Review #20, by Veritaserum27Excerpt from the Deposition of Dolores Jane Umbridge: Dolores: Age Fifteen

16th February 2016:
Hi there!

I'm here from the Ravenclaw common room to leave a review for the BvB. I saw that you requested this story since it hasn't got any reviews yet.

Wow - I feel like there should be some sort of a warning on this - haha. Delores is undoubtedly pure evil. And I sorta like the fact that she is just plain terrible to the core. There's virtually no redeeming qualities in her at all. It really makes it easier for me to hate her. I also admire the fact that you completely do not give her any excuses, whatsoever. Many authors try to give the despicable characters some sort of horrible past that gives a tragic back story as to why they act the way they do, but I guess she just was a terrible person for no reason at all. She didn't even bat an eye at murdering three people. I feel like if she hadn't been imprisoned, she might've taken over for Voldemort after Harry killed him - haha.

And although this story was a little uncomfortable to read, I kind of think that's the point. (at least I hope I'm interpreting this correctly). We should feel creeped out at the depths to which Umbridge would go - and how little empathy she had at a very young age. Good job with that!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Well, it does have the Mature rating and strong violence warning, but I see what you mean about other warnings.

Yes, I wanted to show that she was always like this. I really picture her as a serial killer type and she has no remorse at all; I don't think she's capable of it, even at this age.

I'm glad I could make you uncomfortable with how she was, since, indeed, that was the point.

Thanks so much for the kind review. I'd been writing fluff so much lately and this was a welcome change.


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Review #21, by Veritaserum27Introducing...: Introducing... Meghan Abrams

15th February 2016:
Hi there!

I'm here to leave a review for the BvB review battle.

This is a great opening chapter. I really like the tone you set with the main character. You gave us a lot of details about how she feels about herself (very insecure), but she has a BIG personality (and I'm a huge fan of sarcasm done well). Meghan seems like she's using her bitter comments and self-deprecation to cover up the fact that she feels socially inadequate, so I love that you've already given us some conflict to consider.

I also think you made a wise choice in keeping the first chapter relatively short. You gave us just enough information to feel like we know a bit about your main character, plus, the last paragraph was enticing enough to make me want to read on. James Sirius Potter seems like he isn't the type of person who would know Meghan's name, so that is intriguing.

My only cc would be to give this story a quick edit. There are a lot of spaces between paragraphs - and that's an easy fix if you switch to the "simple editor" on the "edit story" page. Other than a few typos, there weren't any egregious grammar errors.

Meghan seems like the kind of person I'm going to really like getting to know. Great job with her!

♥ Beth

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Review #22, by Veritaserum27Sleep Without Pain: Sleep Without Pain

8th February 2016:
Hi there!

Stopping by for the BvB to check out your newest story. I've gotta admit, I'm not an animal lover - by any sorts, but this story was so endearing and heart-wrenching, you had me welling up. It was a brilliant idea to tell it from Crookshanks point of view and I think you did an excellent job with that. I loved how Hermione was able to almost tell what he was feeling - but not quite. And she wanted him to feel better so badly she was pulling out all the stops. The magic that you incorporated was fantastic without being overdone. It makes total sense that there are potions and spells that can alleviate pain for a short while - but magic is not a cure-all and death must come to everyone.

The other characterizations were done really well too - Ron (who isn't the best at showing emotion) is strong for his wife and even cares for Crooksanks too. And Luna was the perfect choice to be the on-call, magical veterinarian. She always did have a way about her - and it's a natural extension to believe that she didn't treat animals any differently than she treated people.

I saw your author's note about not choosing to use their names until the very end, and I did pick up on that when I was reading. I agree that it was a nice touch. Very nice handling of a sensitive topic with grace and dignity.

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. I appreciate the kind words.

I really do think that Ron and Crookshanks would have come to an understanding after a while, and I really think he would have noticed how intelligent Crookshanks was. I think he ended up caring for him more than he ever thought he was going to.

Hermione of course is absolutely devastated at the loss of her pet. I knew that Luna had to be the person to do the deed, as she would understand the need for it and Crookshanks would love and trust her, like most animals seem to.

Thanks again for the review.


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Review #23, by Veritaserum27I Don't Do Romance: I'm Not a Romantic Person

25th January 2016:
Olivia, Olivia, Olivia!

Aww, this was so adorable and SO PERFECTLY LILY AND JACOB!! I don't mean to be all shouty at you, but I've never had anyone gift me a story before and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!

I actually find it really ironic that this is a fluff piece about Lily and Jacob - because they are so practical and down to earth - they probably wouldn't like the fluff genre.

It's so fitting that Jacob is nervous, too. He's so desperately in love with Lily and he knows she loves him back, but all the same, he isn't 100% certain that she'll say yes (even though the rest of us are - haha).

I love that it was a simple ring (but it sounds BEAUTIFUL), and it was a simple and beautiful proposal too. I think the thing that makes me the happiest is that now I KNOW LILY AND JACOB END UP TOGETHER! I mean, they are so perfect for each other, it makes sense to me, but it makes me SO HAPPY!

You know I'm just gonna bug you to keep writing Seek and Chase now, right? I mean, I have to know what happens next in that story!

Thank you again, Olivia - this was such a beautiful and thoughtful gift!

♥ Beth

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Review #24, by Veritaserum27Harry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: The Needs of the One

24th January 2016:
Dan, Dan, Dan...

You're kind of evil for the way you started this chapter off. The last one ended with Susan on the verge of death after the showdown at the Ministry. She Albus and Hugo were fighting their way out of a sticky situation and it was just as intense as the scene you describe with Harry at the opening of this chapter.

Except he's playing Exploding Snap.

I actually found it extremely adorable that he and Ron can still get up to such antics as they did when they were twelve. And it's just so Hermione-like to put a stop to it. I also find it adorable that Ron and Hermione still have the gumption to get up to whatever they were getting up to the minute Harry and Esme left the country - heh heh.

Its a very intricate spell, but fortunately its also very robust. She spent a lot of time on this. Id say she really cared about keeping in touch with her sister.

I feel like I should hold on to this sentiment. Something smells important here...

I'm intrigued that the group now have a supply of portkeys, polyjuice potion and some other good things. This is so much different from when they were hunting horcruxes and had to search around for the most basic necessities.

You have an amazing talent for writing such a complicated plot, yet keeping it all straight and understandable for your readers. There are a LOT of Potters and Weasleys, but the group manages to come up with a plan for them in a few moments time - and the Delacours makes perfect sense. I'm breathing a sigh of relief that they will be safe there.

So I gotta admit - I'm more than a little nervous for Al and Hugo to gather all the family and get to the Delacours. They don't seem to be the best at thinking on their feet in a sticky situation. I'm sure it's mostly because they simply haven't had to do it nearly as much as their parents did, but all the same - they have a LOT of people to account for and get to safety - especially considering they aren't 100% certain where everyone is. But Harry and Ron didn't have much of a choice. They can't have Hermione do it in her current state, Esme doesn't know them very well, so she would probably be more of a hindrance, and Harry and Ron must get Susan immediate medical attention. My nerves are really humming on this all playing out well (I'm not going to even try to pretend it's going to play out according to plan - this is Harry and Ron we're talking about - and their offspring).

Ah! The house elf ward at St. Mungo's! How clever. Although I don't rightly blame the elves for being so standoffish. They can't start accepting every Tom, Dick, and Susan that waltzes in and asks for medical attention - it could end up being an underground (but yet above the heads of the wizards) medical treatment facility for anyone who wanted to stay "off the grid." All the same - I'm glad they finally agreed to treat her.

Dennis Northway is a really lovable character. I don't know why, but I've grown quite fond of him.

Fortunately for Oliver, he had his family to fall back on and fortunately for Dennis, Oliver and Artie had sort of pulled him along with them. -That's just the Potter way.

And then we have our suspected Professor Tennant doing exactly what we suspected him of doing. And poorly. Even the Hogwarts students are noticing his behavior.

Poor Dennis - he's stuck between a rock and a hard place, at the moment.

As they walked, Artie peered around to make sure that nobody was listening and whispered, Were going to start dueling lessons again, in secret. Were working on finding a good place to practice. -Hey! I might know of a cool place for that sort of thing!

I really love how you've got little parallels here and there to the books. For example, the inept Dark Arts Professor, the kids practicing dueling in secret, and Rowle with his two, enormous cronies for backup. I really appreciate those little details.

But here's something different! They are planning on going to Professor Longbottom to tell him about Tennant's bizarre behavior. This is a stark contrast to the books, when Harry, Ron and Hermione usually took it upon themselves to solve the problem instead of asking a teacher.

I loved the end of this and how it all tied together! Haha - I love that Neville has struck a proper balance between casting his authority and being approachable to the students. He has Dumbledore's "piercing stare" (I think all teachers need that one from time to time :) ), but he also remembers the contributions students can make to the fight against evil.

I hope the Grey Lady doesn't scare them off. And I'm so excited to see the Room of Requirement again. I think J.K. hinted that the Fiendfyre might've destroyed it beyond use in the last book, but it's never been something that I could reconcile in my head. That room is just too cool for it to not be around!

Great chapter - I didn't catch any typos! :D

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi, Beth! I guess I can't just keep staring at this amazing review and smiling at it forever...

A little misdirection makes a story more fun, don't you think? :p It's boring to ease readers into the exact scene they are expecting without adding some uncertainty about what's taking place and where. Or, yeah, I might just be kind of evil.

Katerina Porcher did love her sister a great deal and went to great lengths to make sure that they didn't lose touch. So you're right, it's interesting that it happened so abruptly.

There are a mountain of Potters and Weasleys in this story, so it did become a challenge to keep them all straight and remember what they were doing at any point in time.

Al and Hugo are in way, way, way over their heads. Nothing in their lives could have prepared them for what they're about to face. In some respects it's similar to how the Trio was sent out into the cold, hostile world to hunt horcruxes, but this generation doesn't have the benefit of a Hermione to puzzle out all of the tough situations or a Harry who throws caution to the wind and acts on instinct. You'll see the consequences of this fact very soon.

Yes, the House Elf Ward. I first saw this in another fic (Learning to Live Again? I'm embarrassed to admit I don't exactly remember) and I fell in love with the idea. It is a very uncomfortable situation for all involved.

I've said since Dennis first appeared to keep an eye on him. Dennis is not only a character, he's also a metaphor for a magical world that's become complacent and naive. A big part of the plot is how Dennis gradually realizes the true dangers that surround him.

Yes, the Potter/Weasley kids do have that one advantage over their parents. They have actually been taught to trust and confide in the authority figures in their lives. How much trouble could have been saved if only Harry had done the same...

I do love writing "Neville the Headmaster". It's such a contrast to how he behaves when he's in the company of his own contemporaries. There's actually a lot of that in this story and it made the writing that much more fun.

I chose to believe that Fiendfyre destroyed "the Room of Hidden Things", but that was only one facet of the Room of Requirement. It works for me. :)

Thanks so much for all of the support and attention to detail!

-Dan


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Review #25, by Veritaserum27Pride and Scorpius: Problems and Solutions

10th January 2016:
Hi there Andrew!

I've caught you for BvB! Which means I finally get to review another chapter of this awesome story! :D

Okay - I've gotta admit, I really wasn't sure how you were going to find a way for Albus to still play Quidditch and not declare a house, but this was pretty impressive. I absolutely LOVE the idea of having practice games with three seekers. At least for practice, Albus maintains his house unity role. If he catches the snitch, the match ends, but no one gets the points. The only thing that I noticed was that (I think) the points awarded for catching a snitch are 150, not 140 as stated by Albus.

I really, loved how you had Rose be the one to inspire Albus to come up with a solution. I love all the personalities, and you've done a marvelous job with staying true to their characters. Albus does indeed seem to embody all the best traits from each house. And then there's Rose. This was one of my favorite Rose scenes (probably tied with her trip to the kitchens to bring her hats to the house elves). I love that she just can't sit by when an injustice is being done. She is the one who inspires Albus to come up with his own solution. She gives him the push that he needs.

And I giggle every time that Scorpius comes by and puts on his overly-formal routine with Rose. It gets her goat every time and he is really enjoying playing it up - haha!

The tryout scene was exciting again, but you knew that the reader would find it a bit humdrum to read two chapters in a row, so I thoroughly enjoyed the scene with Stephen. I like the snarky little elf and I love how he put that arrogant toerag in his place.

I'm also curious about gobbledeygook. Are the words spelled the same as they are in English and just pronounced differently? By the looks of it, Rose will be a native speaker by the end of her time at Hogwarts!

And YES! FINALLY! A ScoRose moment for us! Thanks so much for that. I've been waiting for her to let her guard down for just a moment

Great job, Andrew.


♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hello again.

OK, first off - yep, mea culpa, I initially remembered the scoring of the snitch catch incorrectly. I thought that I had caught them all, but there is apparently one still to be rectified.

This is one of the big things that I always found stupid about Quidditch - the points for a snitch catch so totally outweigh everything else that it makes the whole scoring system ludicrous. I wanted to do something about it and when I had decided to put Albus in every house and also to make him a seeker as good as his dad was, then the solution became obvious.

You are correct as well, it also ties in with his 'mission' of House unity.

I always think that our two Rose's are similar in so many ways - I couldn't imagine your Rose standing idly by seeing an injustice done. The big difference between our two Roses is: yours thinks that she isn't brave when she really is; and mine knows that she is brave just a little bit too much.

She loves her cousin so much and he does back, witness his selfless congratulations for no more needed proof, also more than enough for his inclusion into the House of Hufflepuff too. I'm so glad you liked the scene, I thought it a very important one too. It really does show a redeeming side of Rose; after all her, relatively undeserved, mistreatment of Scorpius. If I didn't throw a few of these 'bones' to my readers sometimes, they might come to dislike her a bit too much.

Speaking of Scorpius, his sometimes over-formality is his response to Rose's rudeness. There is almost a direct correlation between the two.

I knew I had to go easy on the Quidditch stuff this chapter after so much in the previous one.

I love Stephen, he is such a gift from the writing gods. From a need to have an elf be rudely dismissive to Rose when she first entered the kitchens, he has developed into such a joy to write. If you think that he put the boy to rights in this chapter, you wait to see what is to come. We shall see a bit more of Stephen, don't you worry.

OK, here is something that I need to explain. When one is doing a foreign language there are two roads that you can take. The first one is to write out the language, usually using italics, as it is spelt or said (in the case where the language doesn't use our alphabet). This is easily done if there is not going to be much of it - just the occasional word or phrase (see the TIMOASK series by pointless proclamations for a good example). It's also easy if the language is a real one - like French or Japanese - or if it has been codified at least - like LotR Elvish or Klingon.

It is not so easy when the language hasn't been made up. If you try to make up the language you have to come up with syllables and syntax that looks OK, that reads like it could possibly be spoken by the creature/race intended. I didn't really want to go down this path. I have enough trouble coming up with all the Goblin names that I want without trying to construct Gobbledygook too.

So I chose the second option and that is to write the foreign language as English, but distinguish it in some way so that the reader knows that English is not being spoken. If there were whole chapters that were spoken in gobbledygook, say when Dawnsfirstbloom goes home for the Christmas break, then it would all be written in English, but one could be free to assume that all the conversation would actually be in Gobbledygook. But if there is going to be spot Gobbledygook, then what I will do is to make it bold or something of the sort - another way would be to change the font - so that what is said is meant to be considered to not be English.

I hope that's made it clearer.

Once again, I refer to the crumbs that I know are necessary to throw out to my loyal readers to ensure their continuing loyalty. So hence a little ScoRose moment to keep everyone tantalisingly on the hook.

Thanks for the great review. As of this chapter the story as a whole has had 5536 reads and this chapter has had 190, thank you all.


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