Reading Reviews From Member: mcdash
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by mcdashEtiquette: Conflicted

2nd February 2014:
Even though this was a "filler" chapter, I loved it! You two are so good at writing in first person while keeping the right amount of description in there, and it's probably the best wielding of the POV I've ever read. Gwynn and James' relationship is incredibly complex, and the writing handles it perfectly.

As far as more specific things of the chapter, this line was probably my favorite:

In her hand was a wine glass. (Typical.)

Made me laugh! This was a really great chapter overall, and I'm looking forward to the next. :)

Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH :) Oi, Viv is such a character aha! Thanks for the super nice review and hope you keep reading! Chapter four is about 70% complete :)
~ Maysie


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Review #2, by mcdashJordan & Parsons: B is for Babies, Blasphemy and a (Nervous) Breakdown

31st January 2014:
Oooh, loved this chapter! The pacing was wonderful, as well as the dialogue between character. It all feels very natural and works well.

Thierry's plans are very strange. I'd love to learn more about Piper, because while he's said that she would twist his words, it just seems too fishy. I do like the set up however, especially since we'll get to see Alicia ~in action. Thirty-seven hours is such a small window, but I can't wait to see her do it.

I'd love to see more of Alicia and Nick's relationship. Even though Nick's gotten into trouble with the law before, he seems like a good person, and it's apparent why Alicia is still friends with him. I like how he has limits to what he'll do, like putting Molly before the agency. Also, Alicia's confrontation with Roxanne sounds like it's going to very interesting. I love the last line of the chapter:

It's time to eat some humble pie.

This was a great second chapter, looking forward to the next one!

Author's Response: Oooh thank you! I'm really glad that you still like this novel!

Thierry's plans are indeed strange, but I think Alicia's more interested in the money to call him out on it. We do see Piper in chapters five and six :D Thirty-seven hours is a small window indeed, but if anyone can do it, it's her.

I'll definitely try to incorporate more of Nick into this story, since he's such a popular character. I don't know how right now, but I'll definitely do my best to fit their backstory into later chapters :) Hehehehe, thank you! ^.^

The third chapter is in the queue right now! Thank you for reviewing! :)


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Review #3, by mcdashCrossing the Borderline: Albus: The Family

31st January 2014:
Oh my goodness, Al and Aaliyah are ridiculously cute. Like, I'm reading this chapter and part of me wants to just slide onto the floor and lay there for a bit because they're just so overwhelming. You know?

Anyways, the Weasley family is, of course, one of my favorite families, and I love how you've already established their personalities with this chapter. Each person definitely has that boisterous and caring Weasley personality, and their reactions to Aaliyah definitely fit. I was expecting more of reactions to Aaliyah herself, but I liked how it was to the shock of her and Al's relationship. Especially considering her and Fred's past, I could see how they would be surprised. But the girls taking her in at the family gathering was very sweet, because even if they didn't mean it or anything, at least they're trying. :)

As each chapter goes along, I love seeing the natural progression of Al and Aaliayh's conversations. It's not too rushed, and they're definitely becoming better at the whole 'fake relationship' thing (even if part of me hopes the feelings are real). Their conversation about Professor Regan was hilarious, especially this line:

He is what fourth year girls call, "a very fit, young bloke" which is basically a nice way of saying, "I wouldn't mind doing him."

One of my favorite parts of this chapter was the set up of the family gathering with the times at top. It gives a nice progression and visual, especially to how the family interacts with Aaliyah.

This was a great chapter, and I can't wait to see more of the Weasleys. :)

Author's Response: I honestly don't know how to respond to them being ridiculously cute. A part of me wants to jump up and down and squeal and the other part of me is 'wait, be reasonable. be calm.' If you find them overwhelming now, you'll have to brace yourself for the next handful of chapters. ;)

The Weasleys are like the ultimate wizarding family. It's such a relief that their personalities came out or are coming out. There are so many of them, I didn't know if they could all be fit into one chapter. The reactions... I had only Lily's, Rose's, and Fred's planned out and the rest just came out while I was writing. They probably have less reactions to Aaliyah herself since they knew a week or two beforehand that Al and her were together. However, they wanted to know 'why.'

Professor Reagan... he's a looker. ;) That part was fun writing. And it gives a sort of light-hearted, humor to Al and Aaliyah's relationship.

I actually thought the last few parts with the time marks weren't going to be effective but rather rushed and unnecessary. When I read that it was one of your favorite parts, I was literally in mind saying, "yes."

Thank you for the sweet, terrific review!!
I cannot begin to explain how grateful I am and how much I love reading your thoughts. :)

~Sama


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Review #4, by mcdashCrossing the Borderline: Aaliyah: The Slytherins

31st January 2014:
Getting around to reviewing this chapter finally, and wow, what a chapter!

To start off, Aaliyah's list was great. I love how she's identifying the problems, especially with her and Al's behavior around each other. I'd love to see them work those problems out, and I saw definitely saw that in Aaliyah and Al's conversation about their awkwardness. I adore relationships where each person has to work out their problems to make it work, so Aaliyah/Al is making me very happy!

Out of the Slytherins, I think Scorpius is still my favorite, but of the new Slytherins, it's Kian. He seems like a wonderful person to be around and talk to. Honestly, Sebastian was very off-putting to me, but I think it's just his personality at the beginning of the scene. I quite liked Al being "protective" (I say that lightly) and trying to get Aaliyah out of the room.

Seth's confession was perfect. I loved it, especially when he was describing why he liked Aaliyah. This particular line was my favorite:

And how you secretly practice on your broom early in the morning on Sundays even though you quit the team in fifth year.

Throughout the whole scene I was grinning like a madwoman, not gonna lie.

Another thing about this chapter. Your pacing is fantastic. Everything flows together and feels very natural, especially the dialogue. Aaliyah presents herself as very clever in what she says, and I love that. Overall, I really loved this chapter!

Author's Response: I take way too much time to respond to these so sorry about that. Yay! I'm glad Al and Aaliyah are making you happy. They have some walls they need to break that's for sure. But hopefully they'll be more comfortable around each other.

Kian... yeah since Aaliyah already knows him he comes off more wonderful. Sebastian, hehe, I'll have to bring him into the story more, then maybe he'll start to grow on you.

You'll probably see more of Al's protective side later on. And I'm super happy that Seth's confession came out that way. He's a sweetie and I really wish he would find a girl that is as equally sweet as him (not Aaliyah though).

Aww thank you. Pacing is something I'm never sure about it so you saying it's fantastic means A LOT. Aaliyah was supposed to be a clever character and I'm ecstatic that she's coming off that way.

Thanks so much!
I love reading your reviews. :)
~Sama


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Review #5, by mcdashAtlas Air: Front Page News

31st January 2014:
I loved this chapter! It gives a lot of background to the prologue, as well as explaining who Rob is and why Teddy and Victoire are in Africa. I really like how you're continuing her letters to Rob, because it gives us a peek at Victoire's normal life. Also, her and Teddy's friendship is beautiful. They seem to care about each and know each other inside and out, and I can't wait to see how that affects each other in Africa. This story is incredible and so promising for later chapters. :)

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Review #6, by mcdashJordan & Parsons: A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

10th January 2014:
Hello there! I loved this chapter, and I think it's such a great start to the story. It's fresh, interesting, and the ending definitely will keep people wanting to read the rest.

I love the idea of Lee Jordan starting a business like Jordan and Parsons because it's something he would do besides his radio station. Alicia continuing with the business while also pulling such a selfless act by letting her parents retire makes me wonder what house she was in at Hogwarts. Part of me says Slyhterin, but another part says she could be a Gryffindor. Hopefully we find out in later chapters!

Alcia and Al's relationship seems very promising as of right now, but I can definitely feel the awkwardness in it. I suppose it's because they're each other's ex and are now business partners, but I feel there would still be some chemistry between them. I mean, they didn't start dating for nothing, right?

Overall, loved this chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hello! Oooh, thank you for the lovely feedback!

I'm actually planning a prequel to this novel that details how Lee and Bex created Jordan and Parsons, but it won't be up until I've got my WIP count down :P Alicia does do a selfless thing for her dad, but she also shows her selfish side in future chapters, as you've seen. And she's a Slytherin; that'll be mentioned in a future chapter :)

Well, this is an Albus/OC but I never said anything about Albus/Alicia ;) Heh, they're definitely at a loss about how to act around each other, what with their history. I suppose they might still have chemistry, but they did break up for a reason. Hmm. ;)

Thank you so much for reviewing! :D


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Review #7, by mcdashCrossing the Borderline: Albus: The Confrontations

7th January 2014:
Oooh, I got so excited when I saw this story updated! I've been (not) patiently waiting since the last chapter was posted. But enough of me talking about chapter updates and excitement, let's get on with the actual review.

Alright, so I loved the opening with The Ronan Daily. There are never enough stories with gossip publications in them, so The Ronan Daily is one of my favorite parts of this story. I think she makes a good point in that Albus and Aaliyah aren't appearing very couple-y right now. I would personally love to see a scene where the hash out the awkward parts of their relationship and try to make it look more presentable/cute/relationship-y. Plus, that means more interactions between Albus and Aaliyah. ;)

Okay, so I needneedneed to know the whole backstory with Fred and Aaliyah! I can figure out hints from Fred's confrontation with Albus, and it's making the wait for the full story even harder. I'm not sure how I feel about Fred right now, because I like that he's trying to protect both Aaliyah and Albus, but he's still coming off a bit selfish for wanting to take Aaliyah away from Albus. Of course, not every character is perfect.

Speaking of other confrontations, Gabby and Rose are perfect. Rose's list is really intriguing, and I'd love to see what else Albus puts on the list. And Gabby being protective over Aaliyah = perfect.

Overall, this was a fantastic chapter! You write such perfect interactions between all the characters, and I still feel as if there's level of mystery over all the character's histories. It keeps me coming back for more, which is great. Loved it! :)

Author's Response: Aww, I'm glad you got excited. Haha, I do that a lot too, patiently waiting for updates on stories that is.

I honestly didn't plan on the Ronan Daily being there. It was a spur of moment idea. Gossip publications are always fun to read so I get what you mean. You are right. Charlotte does make a point. Though, Aaliyah and Albus should be more careful since Ronan will get meaner and tougher on them. And there are never too many interactions between the two. ;)

I'm saving the back story for later. Haha, I'm evil, aren't you? Keeping you waiting like that. :P I'm actually planning to reveal it soon, like in the next few chapters. Fred is... complicated. That's all I can say at this point. He isn't a bad guy but he isn't necessary the best character. He has a good heart, though.

Rose... I'm having a lot of fun writing her. She has her insecurities and her disapproval is just another obstacle for Aaliyah and Albus. I'm happy you liked Gabby. Usually people write the male as being the protective one so I switched it up a bit.

Thank you so much for taking the time to review. It means so much and you are so SWEET. Like honestly, I don't deserve this much kindness. :P But thank you. And the interactions are really fun to write so I'm ecstatic that you like them.

And the next one is coming soon. I have it typed up. I just need to edit it.

~Sama :D


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Review #8, by mcdashAtlas Air: Prologue

5th January 2014:
Wow, what a beginning! It pulled me in right from the start, and I can't wait to read more. There were so many things I loved about this chapter, especially the letter Victoire writes to Rob. I think it's the perfect start to the story. It sets up the premise while still leaving a sense of mystery. Also, Teddy and Victoire's relationship. It's not a relationship, but it's more then just a friendship. I feel that's severely lacking in so many Teddy/Victoire fics. Overall, I thought this was a great chapter! :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much! Teddy/Victoire is one of my favourite fics and it's not written enough. Thanks for the review!

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Review #9, by mcdashHeadland: Headland

31st December 2013:
I'm collecting my thoughts right now, but none seem to spring to the forefront of my mind except, "This is beautiful and beautiful and beautiful." Rather unspectacular and helpful, I know, but that's the only word I can think to describe this one-shot. Romanticizing depression and the like is a really unhealthy thing to do, but when I say this is beautiful and poetic, I really mean it.

To start off, your diction and choice of words is everything I've ever wanted and more. I had to collect myself when you used 'flotsam' because it's not used enough in writing and gave me fond memories of Neopets, which is really strange but also invoked that warm fuzzy feeling I get when I think of childhood. That feeling didn't stay for the rest of the one-shot though. Freddie's utter emotion, and also lack of emotion, is captured so well within your writing. I could relate to Freddie, not in the extremities that he pursues, but more a hopelessness prevalent in youth. One of the best feelings about this is the choice of third person narration. First person is mostly limited to describing a plot and moving things forward, but third person is the perfect fit for a broader topic like a feeling, such as Freddie's depression. I suppose it also gives a bit leeway to use more dramatic language. :P

The descriptions are the most vivid I've read in a while, honestly. I could picture every scene and every object with clarity, but at the same time, there was just enough to let the reader fill in the blanks. Ocean imagery is my favorite thing to read (scratch that- anything about the ocean), and even though the imagery used here isn't about something beautiful, the words are. I'm particularly in love with this line:

'It came in like the tide, and it crested and caught and crashed and before his head broke the surface - he'd been swept out to sea.'

The comparisons to the whale's blowhole was also every synonym of beautiful out there.

And to end this long-winding review where I mostly talked about word choice and used 'beautiful' too much to describe this one-shot (but honestly it is), I'll just say this will not be the last time I read this story.

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Review #10, by mcdashTastes Like Defeat: Tastes Like Defeat

9th December 2013:
I'm speechless. I'm not sure if I can find the right word to describe this story, because it's so incredible. Sylvia Plath is one of my favorite poets/authors, and that was what initially drew me in to the story. I didn't even check for who it was about!

When the story started, I was just blown away by your writing style. It's so distinct from what I've read before, especially in second person POV. Alice's characterization is perfect, and I think accurately represents what she would be like if J.K. ever wrote her. She truly comes out as a Gryffindor in this because you can tell she's terrified (I mean, who wouldn't?), but doesn't back down from Bellatrix. I've always loved the notion that courage isn't an absence of fear, but confronting fear, and this story conveys that so well.

The bits and pieces that Alice remembers after the attack makes my heart break, not gonna lie. I can sense she wants to remember, but at the same time, is perfectly content with existing in the life she has. I suppose it's because deep down she knows her memories are terrible and she's subconsciously repressing them but outside triggers like Mrs. Longbottom bring them to the surface -- of course, that's just me getting a bit interpretative. ;)

After reading the whole story, I went back and read the lines from Crossing the Water, and I think it just fits so well with this perfect, beautiful, and incredible story. I absolutely love this.

Author's Response: Oh wow, I have no idea what to do with myself right now *flails uselessly* I only heard of Sylvia Plath when I participated in the challenge, but I have to admit she's starting to become one of my favourite poets, partly because of this! I'm glad you thought the characterisation was accurate -- honestly, it was one of the things I was worried the most about when I was writing this, as well as making sure it all made /sense/ with the whole second-person thing, which I would just like to say I loved writing almost as much as I hoped you loved reading ;D

Oh jeez, I was tearing up when I was writing the last part, because all I think about was Neville's hospital visit in the books and wow ;__; I won't agree or disagree with your interpretation for the sake of doing so, but I will say that it is /very/ spot-on with what I was thinking but of course there's loads of ways to interpret it, which is what I love about this story.

Just thank you, so, SO much for the wonderful review -- I appreciate it so much, and I just love hearing what readers have to say, and goodness, thank you for the favourite too!

--Linn


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Review #11, by mcdashEtiquette: Awkward Moments and...

9th December 2013:
This was incredible! I could really feel the tension between all the characters, especially James and Gwynn. They obviously still have feelings for each other, so it makes me wonder why Gwynn said no to marrying him...

Freddie and Viv made me laugh every time they were in a scene. I loved when Viv and Gwynn are running over to Molly and Dom and Viv has to grab not one, but three cauldron cakes. She's probably my favorite character so far, and I can't wait to read more about her backstory and Hogwarts days. Overall, this was a great chapter!

Author's Response: Ahhh, thank you so much! We're so glad you actually felt that tension! That's what we were aimin' for.

Gwynn has some pretty good reasons as to why she said no, you'll find out soon. Heh heh

Trust us, you'll be getting a LOT of backstory on all of the characters as we go along. We're really excited to write about it and can't wait for you guys to hear it all!

Thank you again for the kind review! Hope you keep reading!


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Review #12, by mcdashCrossing the Borderline: Aaliyah: The Reaction

7th December 2013:
Oooh, I really like how the story is going so far. The whole thing with Albus/Aaliyah/Seth is so entertaining, and I can definitely sense some jealously from Seth. Annie and Ellie honestly seem like the perfect best friends. They both balance each other out in personality without clashing too much. I can't wait to read more of them. Overall, this was a great chapter! :)

Author's Response: Yay! You get a cookie for liking this story.

Haha, Albus/Aaliyah/Seth are interesting but it won't be much of a love triangle. You will see more of Seth later though. He is a bit jealous, yes. He is more shocked though like the rest of her friends.

Annie and Ellie aren't perfect but are really close and have this bond without agreeing with each other on everything.

The fourth chapter is taking some time but it will be up before January. I promise.

~Sama :D


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