Reading Reviews From Member: silverashes
80 Reviews Found

Review #26, by silverashesPicking Up the Pieces: Confession

14th September 2013:
Hello, hello!

Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this review! I had my second week of school, and it was crazzyy! I finally have time to sit down and relax. thankfully! Enough about my life, your story! I loved the beginning scene. Anaxadra doesn't understand that Draco actually cares about her well-being. He really does. Even if he has a hard time showing it.

Oh no. The day of her family's death. Ohmigosh. I can't even imagine the guilt she has pent up inside of her. I could feel the pain radiating off of her character. It made me so sad. I can't even imagine what she's going through. Draco was so kind. I wish Anaxandra had let him say why he was sleeping on her couch. I really wanted to know, but Anaxandra saw the compassion in Draco's eyes -- finally!

I hope at some point soon he will tell her about when he used to be a Death Eater. For some reason I feel like she will be okay with it. I think she might accept it because his past relates so closely with hers. OOhh! I wonder what was on the letter he sent! Overall wonderful chapter!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hi! It's okay, there are priorities :P

Yeah, they do some bonding in this chapter that neither of them really wanted, but it happened. It won't be too soon that she finds out... In the next chapter I'm writing for this, so Chapter 13, is when I'm planning on doing it, but we'll see where my imagination takes me. The joys of writing lol.

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to read and review!

 Report Review

Review #27, by silverashesGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 4

10th September 2013:
Hello, hello!

Awe. Mrs. Weasley is so precious. She's honestly one of the nicest women in the entire world. If I were in Sadie's place there would be no place I'd rather be (which I'm sure Sadie will learn!). I loved the first scene where Sadie is being dropped off at the Weasley's. It was just so believable: the stampede of kids, the overwhelming hug from Mrs. Weasley, meeting Harry for the first time, and everything else that happened! I really like getting glimpses into Sadie's past! The section where she gets brief memories of Harry, James, and Lily gave me a mixture of emotions. I was really say - for obvious reasons - but at the same time I was excited to learn more!

The whole breakfast scene might have been might favorite scene in the story so far! I LOVED it. It was just so fitting. Sadie seemed so excited to be around all of these new people. I liked the banter between the Weasley's/Harry towards each other and their kindness towards Sadie. Harry's intuition is amazing. I'm not sure if I would have caught on to that if I were him! She has such a sad aura! My heart broke when she was sitting by herself in the Burrow, divulging into the memories she's packed away into the back of her mind. I do hope that she can find happiness (and her voice!!). I'm really, really excited to see where you take the story! I can't wait to find out what happens next! Another brilliant chapter!!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hi Rachel! Thanks for coming back! I was so excited to see this review!

I love Mrs. Weasley. And while I sometimes wonder if I'm sticking her in a rut, being all motherly all the time, I then tell myself that's who she is! And that's why I lover her! So yes, I agree, Sadie couldn't be in a better place right now.

I'm glad you liked Sadie meeting everyone! Meet and greets are HARD to write, so it's nice to know I pulled it off, and everyone seemed mostly in character. And yes, the little glimpses into Sadie's past are coming, aren't they. I threw in the mention of the Potters because I wanted to show that she wasn't totally unaware that she had a cousin, even if Harry was.

Yeah! Glad you liked it! It was very fun to write. And it is fun to see Sadie starting to interact with everyone. Harry's intuition might have been a bit grown up for him, but he's always struck me as a sort of old soul, so I let it stay.

I hope that sad aura isn't off-putting for her as a character. I don't want her to be pathetic, or seem depressed or anything. But, she isn't a bubbly little thing either. And I have to say it makes me feel so good to know that her story is evoking feelings in you! Thanks so much!

This story is about her trying to find that happiness. I'm so very excited to have you along for the ride! Thanks for reading and always giving such wonderful reviews. I always look forward to them when I post a new chapter.


 Report Review

Review #28, by silverashesIn Sickness And In Health: Healing in Hell?

8th September 2013:
Hello again!

I really like the suspense in the beginning. Well maybe mystery is a better word for it! Hermione and Draco are alone in this strange place that neither of them know. I think that adds a lot of interest to the story. Then you added to the interest by having them both inflicted with a curse. Ohmigosh. I didn't see that coming! I'm really curious to find out what the curse was! I'm also super curious to find out what happened to Harry and Ron during the war! MEEP! I hope it's not anything too horrible! I also hope that Voldemort is dead, but I guess we'll find out in due time!

I'm really excited to see how Hermione and Draco act while they have to live in this really small, confined place for a month. Hopefully they can get over their differences and get along! I'm really happy that they can keep in contact with their friends! That would have been hard if they couldn't!

One minor spelling mistake that I saw!
-In a coma-lie state, yes just like instead of lie!

Overall, really, really good chapter! Nice job!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hello Rachel! Thank you for reviewing again!

Thank you! This story is built on this curse and the mystery behind it, and I am glad that it is resonating through the chapters! The curse will unfold itself in time, there's a lot to come first :P What happens to Harry and Ron and Voldemort is also coming up, but as Draco and Hermione are not supposed to know anything of the outside world, when they do find out there may be consequences...:P

I hope so too! Otherwise I am going to have to cut the story short because they have committed a murder-suicide! Don't worry, that's not going to happen, but they have their hiccups along the way!

Friendship is big in this story, so I wouldn't not let them keep in touch, it's so important!

Oh yes, I will fix that up! I have a beta who are going through these chapters and I'm sure she will pick that up also!

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)


 Report Review

Review #29, by silverashesPicking Up the Pieces: Freedom

8th September 2013:
Hi, hi!

I'm going to start off by, again, declaring my weariness for Gawain. He gives me bad vibes. I'm not sure if that's how you're trying to portray him; but, if you are, you're doing so fabulously! I'm really getting some odd vibes from this guys. I feel like he's responsible for Anaxandra's family's death, and now he's trying to preoccupy everyone by keeping Draco on the job! Draco is, and continues to be, a very steady character. His character stays put. He's not all over the place. He makes choices and decisions that I would expect out of him, so you're doing a wonderful job! I really love the relationship between Anaxandra and Draco! Their outing was really fun! I wish we got to hear the question for a question game, but obviously Draco saw something! I hope we find out what it is!!

Your plotline is running very smoothly! You're staying on track, and I really like that you're slowly allowing the reader to learn more and more about the characters and Anaxandra's past! I think the detail is perfect! I don't think I can find anywhere in the story that needs more or less detail! I also really loved the last bit. I don't know if it was a dream or a memory, but I loved it! Nice work!!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!

That is definitely the way I'm trying to portray him, and I'm glad that he is giving off that kind of vibe. It'll be a while, while meaning in a chapter I have yet to fully write, but you will find out about him. Gawain is probably my most interesting character, and one of the harder to write for.

I'm glad Draco is staying in character. I'm trying really hard not to make him "Hogwarts Draco", but I don't want him to have a complete change from what we all know. What he saw is also in an upcoming chapter that I have yet to write lol.

I'm glad my plot is running smoothly. And what kind of mystery story would this be if I just threw in all the history of everything right then and there? Lol.

Again, thank you so much for the lovely review!

 Report Review

Review #30, by silverashesBreakoff Altitude: Where Fabian has a hanger with his sibs

5th September 2013:
Hello again!

I'm sorry it took me so long to get over here! School just started up this week, and my life has been beyond hectic. I finally have a few minutes to myself *sighs*. Anyways! I really, really like what you have so far! To start off with the plot, my favorite part is that you have this witty, light-hearted, love fantasy thing entwined with the upcoming darkness. It just seems so realistic to me, but it also shows that even in dark times there can be certain kinds of light! Ahaha, sorry if that was too cheesy!

Now to the characters, the lovely characters. Well I think Fabian is adorable. His lusting after her for all of these years makes my heart melt. I really like his character. He's sweet and a little bit quiet, but he's perfect boyfriend material (let's send some hints to Amelia!!) We get to meet Molly! Yay! I loved the whole sibling hang-out sesh that happened towards the end. I love how Gideon and Molly were both so happy for him. They were both just as invested in setting Fabian and Amelia up as Fabian was himself! So cute! The flashback flowed gracefully with the rest of the chapter! I think it fit in nicely and added a bit of information. We got to see Fabian's side of the story from the fateful day of!

Overall another wonderful chapter! Nice work!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Yay!! Thank you! Your reviews make me so happy :)

I know Amelia really needs to get her head on correctly Fabian is just too good to lose.


 Report Review

Review #31, by silverashesDouble Trouble : Prologue-October 31st

3rd September 2013:
Hello there!

There was one minor thing that I noticed when I was reading. In the first paragraph you had a spelling mistake. It said "make" instead of "may". Other than that your grammar was perfect!

As for the flow, I think you did a nice job! It's very smooth. Nothing jumped out at me as out of place. I'm slightly confused as to how Sirius will be her father because he goes to Azkaban. Though I have full confidence that you will explain that later, seeing as this is only the prologue! I like the idea of the story. I think it cab be believable if you come up with a good story behind it, and as far as I can tell, you have! I think the details in the story are fabulous. I really felt like I was watching as movie as I read. I could picture each scene and feel the emotions of the characters through your words.

Overall I think you have a really great beginning to a story! I can't wait to see where you take this!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: I knew there had to be one grammar mistake that would get past me and my beta I'll go fix that when I get the chance.

Ahh but who says Sirius is going to Azkaban? I couldn't do that to my favorite character :D It's actually explained more in the 2nd chapter.

I'm so happy that you liked the story and that you actually felt that you were watching a movie that made me smile so big that I actually think I look slightly crazy as my boyfriend is giving me a weird look.

Thanks so much for the review:D

 Report Review

Review #32, by silverashesGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 3

3rd September 2013:

I'm so excited that you keep inviting me back! I was so excited to read this chapter that I spilt water all over my desk...oopsies. My clumsiness aside, I LOVED this chapter. Once again you did a phenomenal job with the characters. Honestly, I feel like I'm reading the original books when I read your story. The characters' personalities are so perfect that...I just...I can't even. Albus Dumbledore was flawless. That's all I have to say on the matter. I really like how you've depicted the friendship between Albus and Minerva. They always seem like such powerful characters -- which they are -- but this friendship makes them seem more human to the reader. That's a nice touch!

Again I feel the need to ramble about the emotions you evoke with your word choice and brilliant writing style. My heart hurt when Minerva was recalling the day she had to tell Jenny about James and Lily. I can feel how badly that must have hurt both women -- Minerva now more than ever. I felt her regret, sorrow, and anger over Sadie's condition and the fact that there might have been a way to save her. I feel like that strikes a familiar chord with all readers because everyone has felt that pang of regret. The regret that they could have stopped or fixed a situation but took a different course of actions instead. You make the story very believable and give the readers the ability to connect to your story on a personal and emotional level!

Ah! I'm excited to know what her glasses mean! I do hope we find out soon! I'm interested! Awe Sadie made sad when she was standing in front of the mirror, in complete awe over the fact that she had new clothes just for her. More hints at her past. Ooh! I really can't wait to learn more! Sadie's character has such depth. I love learning about her! I actually did end up crying in this chapter. I really did. When Dumbledore was giving her encouragement I cried. Too much feels for one chapter ohmigosh. But I loved it! Every second of it! Pure brilliance!


xx Rachel

Author's Response: I'm so excited that you're so excited to keep coming back! (Oooh, sorry about the water - hands over a towel.) And 100 out of 10, wow! Thank you so much!

Your review has just left me grinning so much I'm not sure how to answer. To think you liked my characters and writing enough to compare it to the books is just... Well, I'm in aw. I struggled so much with writing Dumbledore and McGonagall in this chapter. I love them, but they can be difficult to get them in character. I wanted them to be emotionally invested in Sadie, but not out of character. I'm so very glad you think it worked.

Okay, now I'm blushing again. For real. My stories are character and emotionally driven, at least in my head, but I'm not always sure that's how they come across to readers. When readers tell me they have connected emotionally with the story and the characters I feel so grateful, because that's what drives my writing. So, thank you very much!

Ah, only you and Sian have picked up on the glasses hint. Can't tell you, but just don't forget them. LOL.

My beta and dear friend made a comment in the beginnings of this story that Sadie has a bit of a sadness about her - and it's true. And I didn't even realize her name has the word "sad" in it, until so much later. But it does fit. She won't stay sad, not always, but she does have a bit of that "too old for her age" aura about her. AT least I HOPE she does. Comments like yours make me hope it's coming across in the story.

You cried? WOW. I should be horrified I made you cry, and yet I'm so grinning like an idiot.

Thank you so very much! Next chapter should be up by Sunday.

 Report Review

Review #33, by silverashesThe Fall of the Town : A Stranger In the Dawn

2nd September 2013:
Hello again!

Yay! I'm glad to be called back for chapter two! I love reading this story, it's so unique. The writing style throughout your story is truly lovely to read. The beginning section about the Peverell's lost children was heart wrenching, and I could feel their pain in my own heart. You string words together and they fit like puzzle pieces. It's like they are meant to be there!

I loved the portrayal of Marigold and Stephan's first meeting. Well...I guess they haven't actually met yet, but I like how you described how they first saw each other. The whole scene was very picturesque! Their relationship is fun to watch! I think you do a really good job of slipping between people. It's very smooth the way the scenes change, and we get different views on different people!

I feel sorry for Trip, especially when Marigold snaps at him. She only further induced his own worries about being a Muggle born wizard! I do hope she apologizes and nothing bad happens to him. I feel sorry for the way he was treated! Please keep him safe! Overall, brilliant chapter!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm so honoured you like the story, and think that it's unique! I love the formal language and writing style that this piece seemed to inspire in me, and I'm pleased you enjoyed it as well. Thank you for these lovely comments! :)

I'm glad you also enjoyed Marigold and Stephane's interactions, and their first meeting. I was a little worried about having too many characters and small stories in the context of the larger story, but I'm pleased it's working out well and smoothly. I felt sorry for Trip as well, and yes, it really wasn't Marigold's finest moment, even if she did feel sorry after.

Thank you so much for leaving this wonderful review, my dear! :D Getting this thoughtful feedback on the story means a lot to me.

 Report Review

Review #34, by silverashesIn Sickness And In Health: The Battle

2nd September 2013:
Hello again!

This is a captivating plot line! You've redone the battle scene, and I like it. It's an interesting take on the Battle of Hogwarts. I like how you portrayed Harry, Ron, and Hermione with the Order of Phoenix. This way they are all together when they begin to fight. The chapter does move a little quickly, well only the first section and the beginning of the second. Her confrontation with Draco comes a little quickly. I think she should have a little more time to absorb her surroundings and maybe meet with people she knows before talking to Draco; however, the rest of the chapter moves along smoothly.

As for you characterization I think you did a good job. Hermione is a little more outgoing and courageous than she is in the books, but I don't think that's a problem. Though I do feel her dialogue with Draco seems a little too out of character. She's never been one to stoop down to Draco's level (except for that one time in third year). Writing a character is up to you though! You have to characterize them how you want to characterize them. I think Hermione's more brave personality is unique and something the site doesn't see too often. Draco is basically the same as in the books, but I like the way he is stuck in between the two sides. He can't decide between his family/friends and what he knows is right. I think that little inner turmoil adds a lot of depth to his character.

Overall I think you have a really good start to a story! Nice job!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for the review! Sorry I have taken so long to respond, i have been at home and been a bit neglectful.

I'm glad you find the plotline interesting, it was a bit hard to begin like that but it needed a start, even if it was a slow and off topic. I was worried that it does move a bit quickly. I am thinking of expanding on this chapter and making it longer and more in depth, but it is still a prologue.. so i don't know. I will just have a play.

I'm really relieved to hear you think Hermione is in character, at least for the most part! I think the same thing about the confrontation with Draco, that is a section that is going to be rewritten at a point. I'm glad you also think that Draco is in character. I find him very hard to portray without being the cliche version 'life is so hard to me, somebody love me' type. There's a lot more to him than that and i hopefully will write it well :)

Thank you again for such a great review! I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter :)

Grace :)

 Report Review

Review #35, by silverashesThe Second Life I Lead: School Mates and Cows' Eyes

30th August 2013:
Hello again!

Another good chapter! You characterized Hermione even further, and I'm continually falling in love with her character over, and over again! And we got to meet Draco this chapter, yay! I share Draco's feelings on Pansy! I wish she had stayed home back in England. She's prissy and always seems to have her panties in a twist; but, alas, she will definitely add some drama. I liked Draco's character. He and Hermione seemed to get along well, which I wasn't expecting. I thought they would have been a little more hostile. Change is good though. I'm glad they could both get over their severe differences and move forward from the past.

I thought the end scene was hilarious. The dissecting an eye made me cringe (that kind of stuff makes me wriggle), I thought the overall scene was fluffy, funny, and kept me thoroughly entertained! There were a few things I noticed throughout the chapter -- nothing big! There were a few places where there were words that needed to be capitalized. Here's one spot!

I also think that all of the caps and exclamation points can be a little distracting. It's a little hard on the eyes. I think you can get your point of how angry she is across with just normal lettering! If you describe how she reacts (like when you use the word scream) or maybe say that her face became flushed, you can get the same point across! Also there were a few slight grammatical errors, but they weren't too bad! In the quote above "got" should be "gotten". There were a few other places, but overall nice work! Honestly there was nothing that stuck out like a sore thumb, just some minor things!

The overall plot, story-line, and characterization is awesome! I really like how this story is coming along! I can't wait to find out what happens next!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Ah yay! Your back!!

Haha yeah i thinks she's quite cool in this chapter, a bit more relateable as a character a well. Yup Pansy is horrible, but she's got an important part in the story so can't cut her out yet! *Cries*
Draco and Hermione do get along so far, but you never know what might happen.!

Haha thank you ! I had to do that in my first year of high school, unfortunately minus throwing it everywhere, but i thought it might be something funny to incorporate!

I get what you mean about the caps and exclamation points. I'll go back through this chapter and have a look out for them, as well as the spelling mistakes, thank you!

Ah awesome! I'm just glad you enjoyed it! Thank you again for reviewing!!


 Report Review

Review #36, by silverashesPassing ships : Passing ships

29th August 2013:
Hello, lovely!

I've never read a story about Hermione and Ron being divorced, so this is new for me! I really like it though! I think it's a new twist on an old story. I've read loads of stories on Dramione but never any that have to do with Draco and Hermione both having split from their partners. I really like the twist! You've kept Hermione's ambitious character. While it has always kept her high in success, it turns out that it is actually her downfall as well.

The romance between her and Draco is very different from all the fluffy relationships I read about. The angst and darker side of this story draws readers in. It has a different effect. I think it's a little refreshing after reading so many lovey-dovey, perfect stories about romance. This story kind of shows the realistic view point towards love. It doesn't always work out the first time, but there is always someone for everyone (even if it's not who you were expecting!). I think you did an absolutely lovely job with this story! Brilliant!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hi Rachel! Thanks for responding to my request so quickly, sorry it's taken me a couple days to reply.

I'm really glad you like the premise of the story, this is the third dramione I've written and I always have a little back story as to why Hermione and Ron aren't together, I can never paint him as the bad guy though! I worried that Hermione seemed a little out of character in this so I'm really pleased you don't think she is :D

Personally, I love the fluffy dramione stories so this was a little out of my comfort zone but I agree that it's a more realistic side to love, where its not necessarily about 'romance' but a persons needs and finding comfort.

Thank you so much for this wonderful review!

 Report Review

Review #37, by silverashesThe Second Life I Lead: The First Day Back

29th August 2013:
Hello there!

This might be one of the most unique ideas I've ever read, especially for Hermione and Draco; however, I love it so far! I think the uniqueness makes it so interesting to read. I love the fact that you've moved her from England to the Unites States - New York City to be exact. It adds excitement to the story line because she's in a new environment. Not only has the scenery changed, but Hermione, herself, has changed too. I think the new Hermione is more confident, and she's fun to read! I also love her cousins, Matt and Sam. They're the epitome of boys, and I love them. I think it's cool that she's living with them!

I don't think you have anything to worry about in the plot/story-line. I think you have a really good start. It sounds like it's going to get really interesting, especially with Draco coming soon! You have a really brilliant start to a story, and I can't wait to see what comes next! Lovely, lovely, lovely!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Aww thank you for such an awesome review!! I'm glad you liked it!

Yeah I just thought what would happen if we took Hermione and put her in a different place, I just think that she would be more confident, but still somewhat herself, if she had the chance to be around different people, and wham! Story! haha. I love them too, and they get better later on!

Oh wow, that is so nice! You have lessened my woes about people worrying it will just be another mary-sue story. It used to be, but i've changed it so instead of changing Hermione completely, we just get a different side to her, and we see her more confident and fun!

I'll go back and re-request now! Thank you so much!! :D


 Report Review

Review #38, by silverashesBreakoff Altitude: Where Amelia lays us out the deets

27th August 2013:
Hello again!

You've continued to make the story line/plot even more interesting. I loved this chapter even more than the first one! One of the things I like the most is that all of the Dark-Lord turmoil is beginning to happen in the background, but Amelia, Orly, and the rest of family/friends are still living their lives normally. I've never read a book that takes a look into the way life was just before the Dark Lord took his reign. I think it's a really interesting perspective because we can see how it is slowly starting to affect everyone. Edgar is nervous about his pro-Muggle work hurting his wife, children, and sister. It's all starting! I really like it!

I really like Amelia too! You've characterized her really well! I loved learning about what happened the night she and Fabian ended up in bed together. I thought the background information cleared up any questions I had about the two of them! It's flowing really nicely so far! There aren't any confusing patches, and it's very, very interesting! I can't find anything wrong with it, not even grammar!

Brilliant chapter!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! I got super excited to see that we had a review! Sorry I didn't respond to the last one, I've been extremely busy. And I'm super glad you enjoyed the chapter! There is plenty more excitement to come so get ready!

 Report Review

Review #39, by silverashesI Saw Him Once : I Saw Him Once

26th August 2013:
Hello, lovely!

I think you did a wonderful job with your songfic! Firstly I ADORE Les Miserables. It has to be one of my favorites! I also love Luna, so this was the perfect mix between the two! I think you did a really good job on your first song fic! The lyrics fit perfectly in with your story line. I especially liked the part about the dreamers who met in a trance. Ohmigosh. So accurate.

I really like the detail you put into Luna's surroundings. I felt like I was watching a movie of your story. Ned was just like Luna. He is her perfect match. I though it was super adorable that he knew who she was and that he wanted to find all of the creatures on her list. Awe. Then he followed her when she ran after the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. Overall, very lovely!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hi Rachel! Thanks so much for responding to my request so quickly :)

I love Les Mis and Luna too! This is the first time I've attempted to write her as a main character though so I'm thrilled that you liked it!

I wanted to make Ned just as interesting and quirky as Luna, I don't think she would settle for anything less :D

I'm so glad you liked my first song-fic, thank you so much for this lovely review!

Dee xx

 Report Review

Review #40, by silverashesComposure: eight.

26th August 2013:
FREDDY. *swoons* I'm fangirling right now, to be entirely honest. I adore Freddy. I like that throughout the chapter we see small slivers of a more serious and compassionate Freddy. Awe. I hope we get to see more! He's such a gentleman. I'm having trouble putting my adoration into words. There is definitely mutual attraction between Evy and Freddy, though Evy might not have admitted it to herself just yet. The banter between the two of them is hilarious. They seem to get along so well.

I'm super excited to learn more about Freddy. I feel like he has another side to him, and I can't wait to know what it is. He seems genuinely attracted to Evy. What a gent. The date has lived up to my expectations plus some. I think it's a really unique date, and I loved how he let her choose the location. Lovely, lovely, lovely like always!

xx Rachel

P.S. Thank you for the shoutout! *blushes* It made my day, so thank you!! I'm wicked excited for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Rachel! -hugs tight- You're back, AGAIN! You are just far too kind. I'm glad you approve ;) I felt like Freddie had to do something unique but it couldn't be too out there because in some ways he's a well-worn cliche, but in others a bit of a reckless, crazy boy. I'm really not entirely sure about him if I'm perfectly honest. It's all very fun :P

I usually find speech so hard but Freddie-Evie conversations just seem to come naturally. So I'm taking this as a good sign? Let's hope so :P It's always a worry that characters come over as flat and one dimensional, so once more, I'm squeeing that Freddie seems to have layers! Eeee!


 Report Review

Review #41, by silverashesWaging war: Waging War of Tonks Lupin

26th August 2013:
Hello, love!

You did a beautiful job with this story! I'm not sure if I've ever read a story about Tonks before, but I loved this one. You really captured the essence of her life flashing before her eyes. The details starting from when she was only 6 to when she died so many years later was perfect! You have just enough details to allow the reader to picture the scenes inside his/her head. I felt as though I were looking at pictures of Tonks' life. I think you did a wonderful job with her character.

The emotion in the story was awesome. From defeat, to happiness, to fear; I really felt everything that Tonks felt. I think the story flowed wonderfully. It gracefully slid from one chapter of her life to another. There was no part of the story that felt confusing or out of place. I think you did a really lovely job!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Thanks for the review :)
I am really very happy that you liked this story. When I had thought of writing something about Tonks, this idea just came to my mind and I wrote it. I was more like it would be really bad but learning that it's good through reviews is nice.

Thanks for your kind words :D

 Report Review

Review #42, by silverashesGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 2

25th August 2013:
Happy Sunday!

I'm back for more because I'm in love with this story! Let's see...where should I start? Okay for one I think your writing fits so perfectly with J.K. Rowling's. The characters are so, so perfect. I love them. I like how your fitting a new character into a book that's already been written. It's flowing so flawlessly! It's like this part of the story was meant to be in the Harry Potter books!

Yay! We learned more about Sadie! I mean I guess it was only a couple details, but I just get so excited every time I learn something new! I can't believe she can't talk. Oh my... the poor girl. She has such a sad life, and we don't even know the gritty details yet. I'm really loving her character even though she hasn't arrived at the Weasley's yet!

Lovely, lovely, lovely like always! I can't wait to read a new chapter next week!

xx Rachel

P.S. I adore your writing style. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it, but it's so beautiful!

Author's Response: Thank you! Sorry I'm a few days late replying!

I am SO excited that you like this story so much! Seriously, I can't tell you how happy that makes me. I was so worried people were going to egg me or something after the information revealed in this chapter, so to have people asking for more instead is making my week.

To have you compare my writing with JKR's is the highest praise ever, and you've left me blushing deeply. It is difficult to fit this story into the already written books, and keep it exciting and not just a re-hash of the story we already know. That's going to be my challenge.

Yes, Sadie has some difficult challenges to deal with. I'm glad you're liking the information about her so far. And I like to think the Weasleys are going to be good for her, don't you?

Thank you so very much! More by Sunday at least.

(Blushing again.)

 Report Review

Review #43, by silverashesPicking Up the Pieces: Lonely

25th August 2013:
Hello again!

Awe, we got a little insight to Anaxandra's family life. Her father and mother seemed to absolutely lovely people. I loved the line about the stars! I'm wicked excited to learn more about her life!

I really like the relationship that is beginning to form between Draco and Anaxandra! Though they seem to dislike each other's presence I think their equally stubborn personalities fit well together. The set of three rules for them to abide by was hilarious. I don't know why it struck me as funny but it did! I like them!

I think the flow is lovely! There is no piece to the story that seems misplaced or confusing! I'm following the story very easily. The plot continues to thicken with Anaxandra finding something wrong with Draco's case seems like someone is trying to hinder Draco's progress. Hmmm. I have my suspicions. Putting that aside, I think your plot is extremely different from anything I've ever read, and I really like the way it's playing out! I'm excited to see where you take the characters and storyline!

Another brilliant chapter!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: I'm currently working on the chapter that really focuses on Anaxandra's background. I felt like keeping it a mystery until the middle of the story, then you get pretty much the whole entire picture. I hope my approach is a good one :/

I was hoping to request you for the remainder of my chapters, hoping that you would keep a close eye on their relationship. Make sure it was consistent, as well as the whole progression of the plot. I added the rules in after having the chapter up for a while, and I must say, I think it adds a little more flavor to the story, and I'm glad you like them!

I'm glad I have you asking questions. That was my intention with this story after all :) I will re-request asap! Thank you again for the awesome review!

 Report Review

Review #44, by silverashesBreakoff Altitude: Prologue

23rd August 2013:
Hello there!

I want to start off by saying that I really like your chapter image! The bed just looked so cozy, haha. Anywho! I think you have a really good start! The first chapter is just long enough to whet the reader's interest! I think one of the biggest things that is going to make people want to read the story is the characters! I've never seen anyone write these characters before! It's so unique, and I love it!

I think the awkwardness adds a tinge of reality to the story. Instead of waking up and being completely normal in the situation, they both feel slightly uncomfortable! I like it! I think you definitely have a good start! I'm interested to know what happened to lead them to where they are, and why Amelia is so worried about her brother being already awake!

I think you have a really good start so far! I'm excited to see where you take this!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: :D thanks so much for reviewing!!


 Report Review

Review #45, by silverashesThe Last Keepers Of The Light: Chapter One

23rd August 2013:
Hello there!

I really like your writing style! It's very detailed, painting the story into the minds of the readers. I could see the whole thing inside my head as if I were looking at pictures or a movie. I think your flow is perfect. Everything moved along smoothly without any confusion! I also think your plot is very interesting. You've kept a veil over the main character, not giving any details about her or what she's there or what the Death Eaters want. I think that's a good tactic to build suspense, making readers want to find out more! The end of the chapter was such a cliff hanger too! I think you have a brilliant story coming together!

There were a couple of minor things that I noticed. In the first paragraph, and some later on, there were a few i's that weren't capitalized! Not a huge error but just to make it easier to read! One more minor thing I noticed was the paragraphs. There a bit long. Not that there is anything wrong with having long paragraphs, really there isn't! I think if you broke each paragraph (depending on the length) into a couple smaller ones! I know for me it's easier to read and helps keep my attention! But it's totally up to you(:

Overall well done! You have a wonderful plot that I can't wait to see how it's going to pan out! Lovely, lovely, lovely!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Oh wow! That was such a nice review! Thank you!
You have definitely helped clear up any doubts I had about the flow of the story, so that's very good :)

Also, I will definitely in the future look at breaking my paragraphs up! And of course maybe edit this chapter later on and sort out the 'I' issue, I did read through it again and it was a bit distracting

Thankyou so much for you review and time!

 Report Review

Review #46, by silverashesTruth Will Out: Breathe.

22nd August 2013:
Stop, no. You cannot make this just a one-shot. You're going to absolutely kill me. Please, please, please write more. I think my internal organs will implode if you don't write more! I'm in love all the way up to my eyeballs. I'm at a loss for words. This was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Take every positive adjective and insert them right here _. I literally cannot even form words anymore. I think I'm going to have to read this again. This deserves so much praise, but here I am babbling because I'm just too excited. I hope you can feel my excitement and love for this story! Please write more(:


xx Rachel

Author's Response: This is positively, hands down the nicest review I've ever received :) Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm absolutely floored and I'm smiling so big right now!

I was so nervous to post this so it means the world to me that it's being received so well.

I think Samantha's message is a powerful one. It's about facing her fears and speaking out. It's about learning to fight back and taking back the night. To me, the real ending is that Samantha did all of the above.

I can't promise I'll make this into a short story but I will do Franks POV and hopefully that will tie up any loose ends from this story.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing :)

 Report Review

Review #47, by silverashesPicking Up the Pieces: Pawn

22nd August 2013:
Hello there!

Another brilliant chapter! I like where this is going. You're really developing the characters well. I have to say that I'm a little wary of Draco's boss. He makes me a little nervous, especially in regards to Anaxandra. He seems like a bit of a shifty character. Maybe he's not, but I just have a feeling! I was proud of Draco for keeping some information withheld from his boss in order to keep Anaxandra safe!

I really like learning more about Anaxandra's past! She has a very interesting life that I'm excited to learn more about! Anaxandra's a very well-developed character that is carrying the plot nicely. Everything is flowing so smoothly. Nothing seems out of place, and things fall into place like missing puzzle pieces. I feel sorry for Draco! I hope his relationship with Astoria doesn't deteriorate because Draco has to work too much! That would break my heart!

Overall, brilliant job! I really love this story! It's so unique!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: I'm really happy to see that you're liking my story! I have to admit, that like any other author, I struggle to write a very intense and real world that seems plausible but also keeps the reader interested. I'm also glad that you like my characters and the way that they develop and change over time.

I cannot release any information on Draco's boss... yet. :)

I'm hoping to reveal a lot about her in the next few chapters. I've been kind of keeping her past a secret with little hints here and there, but I think that I've withheld enough for so long that I think the reader has a right to know who she really is.

I am very very excited to see that you love it! This is a big motivator! Cheers!

 Report Review

Review #48, by silverashesCrossing the Borderline: Albus: The Decision

22nd August 2013:
Hello, hello!

I'm going to start off by saying that I LOVE Al's point of view! I always find it so interesting to read something from a boy's point of view (there aren't many on the site!). I think you did a good job of characterizing Al. He's mysterious, but he has this soft side, especially towards Aaliyah, that gives him depth! I also really liked how we got to see Aaliyah from Al's point of view! It gives the reader an 3 dimensional characterization of her because its through the eyes of someone else! Scorpius is a love. I wish I had a friend like him!

This is a very intriguing story line! I can't believe Aaliyah agreed to Al's little plan. Oh man, I hope she knows what she's in for! I think the story is flowing really well. As of right now there is nothing that confused me! Everything is flowing smoothly!

Brilliant job! I really like where this story is going! I can't wait to see what pans out between Al and Aaliyah!

xx Rachel

Author's Response:
Hey Rachel!
Al's point of view was quite fun to write and it makes me want to scream in happiness that you liked it. I agree that reading from a boy's point of view is interesting. You'll see more from Al's pov soon. ;)

Scorpius...*sigh*..I wish I had a friend like him too. :P He is one of those characters that are very loyal and honest but he also over-thinks when making a decision sometimes.

Yeah...Aaliyah doesn't know what she is up for...well, not yet.

Thanks so much for the sweet review. This really made my day and right now I am smiling like crazy. :D


 Report Review

Review #49, by silverashesThe Fall of the Town : The People of Hamlin

21st August 2013:
Hi, Hi!

I'm currently breathless. You started by painting this mental image of a broken town, but then you rebuilt it. Reviving the youth and beauty that it once had. You brought its residents to life, giving the town itself a life. They live in a world that is so different from all the others written on this site. Its the birthplace of Hogwarts. The very beginning.

The plot is fascinating. It's such an underused storyline. I feel like no one ever writes about the Founders Era, but it's so unique! Your characters OC and canon are phenomenal. You've brought each and every one of them to life. I feel as though they are standing in front of my desk right this minute. Marigold is so sweet and naive of her friend's adoration. Stephane is about to carry a tremendous weight upon his shoulders as he goes to save the lives of the people of Hamlin. I particularly liked the way you portrayed Rowena and Helena Ravenclaw. Rowena, not wanting her motherly duties to slow her down, is stern and not as nurturing as she should be. I feel like this explains Helena's somewhat cold feelings to her mother in the last Harry Potter book. She so desperately wants the affection of her mother.

Absolutely brilliant job. I'm in love with this story. Pure brilliance!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hi there! :) Thank you so much for coming to review my story so quickly, and for leaving this absolutely wonderful review! I've been all smiley and warm ever since reading it. :D

Ah, I'm so excited and flattered that you enjoyed the story, so thank you for all your lovely comments. I'm so honoured that you think I brought the town to life, and I loved imagining it and imagining how Hogwarts might have been as it was founded. It's definitely both the beginning and the ending of something.

I quite liked writing the Founders so far, especially since we don't know much about them so there's a lot of creative freedom. I'm really glad you like the characters so far, and that they came to life for you! :D I love Marigold and Stephane, they are so unique and special to write and very different from my other OCs. I'm so pleased you pointed out the Ravenclaw family dynamics as well, since I thought it was quite important to include since their separation is something we know about from canon, and would have had roots in Helena's childhood.

Thank you so much for leaving this absolutely glowing review, I hope you know how much your kind words meas to me! :)

 Report Review

Review #50, by silverashesPicking Up the Pieces: Impression

21st August 2013:
Hello again!

Draco, Draco, Draco. I must say I do love a good story where Draco Malfoy makes an appearance. I LOVE the way you've portrayed him! I always felt sorry for him during the books (even though he was a git through most of them). I like that you show the softer and more sensitive side that we, as readers, have never seen before!

You have also developed your own voice and tone in your story, which I really like! It sets your story apart from all the others on this site! The plotline...oh my the plotline. It is incredibly interesting. You've taken a route that I've never read before, and I love it. You have this storyline that is so interesting, and I'm really excited to see where it leads! Anaxandra is a very detailed character. We're slowly learning more about her family and her background. She keeps getting more and more interesting! She has this hard outer shell that protects her more sensitive inner layer. She has depth!

Overall, I think you're doing a wonderful job with the story! It makes the reader want to keep reading! Lovely, lovely, lovely!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad that this chapter was good for you. It was one of my harder chapters to write. Well, they are mostly all hard, but that's because I try to be a perfectionist. I'm never fully happy with what I put out there, and if I waited until I was, then NOTHING would get published lol.

I'm glad you like Draco. I always felt bad for him as well, and I wanted to get down to his gooey caramel center in my story. I wanted to give him a different tone, but not so different that it doesn't seem plausible.

I wanted to write something that said, "please come with me on this journey." I do tend to be very dull at times in my writing, but I ultimately want to take my story places a story hasn't been taken before (at least that I've seen).

I'm really hoping to re-request you in the future!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>