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Reading Reviews From Member: silverashes
80 Reviews Found

Review #1, by silverashesAccidentally On Purpose : Kiss And Don't Tell

3rd October 2017:

So I am so sorry that this is the first review I'm leaving, as it is on the seventh chapter and I have read everything up until now. This story has been my (not) guilty pleasure. I have been sneaking it in while I should be sleeping, doing homework, etc. etc. But I absolutely had to let you know how utterly enthralled I am with this story.

I love the concept and the characters. I am soo intrigued to find out more about Jenny and James' background, both individual and their relationship. I am also DESPERATE for some Jenny/James romance that doesn't end in flames and ashes. Very excited to find out what happens with Flora as well, this should be interesting.

SO I will continue to read this story when I should be doing other things because I am hooked. I cannot wait, like genuinely I am so excited to come back and read chapter 8.

Wildly amazing. xx Rachel

Author's Response: HI!

Oh my god - please do not apologise! Thank you for even taking the time to write a review! As a serial reader who forgets to review/is lazy despite the million emotions and thoughts I always have, I completely understand haha.

AW. Thank you a thousand times - that is literally the sweetest thing ever! Can I secretly be pleased that this story is distracting you all your important daily activities? 😂

THANK YOU. I honestly love writing this story to death - I have so many ideas and details to get in before it's done it's going to take AGES haha so trust me, I'm with you girl. There are so many golden nuggets and treasures of details about their relationship/life I'm so excited to get to. And GOD ME TOO! Seriously, as an editor/reader of my own story I am fed up with James and Jenny's romance that always ends in a fiery ball of doom LOL. But it just goes to show that I can't write it that Jenny isn't feeling it yet. Oh yeah - Flora is a fav that snuck up on me hahaha.

AHH I can't wait to read your thoughts on Chapter 8!

Thank you so so much for this review!! YOU are wildly amazing. Lots of love, P xxx

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Review #2, by silverashesFluorescent Adolescent : something new

15th August 2017:
Okay, so I've been reading this story for a VERY long time. But I also took a VERY long hiatus from this site (both reading and writing) due to the unfortunate time consuming black hole that is college. In saying that, I can also admit that I read the last 6 (ish...cannot remember the exact number) chapters of this story in the last day and a half.

I feel that the word 'stressed' is probably my best adjective, and I mean that in the best way possible. I am so entirely wrapped up in your characters and the plot that my palms sweat when I read this. I NEED James and Effy to be together, quite possibly more than they want to be together (definitely not, but using that for the emphasis). And I am HELLA stressed now that this whole Mikey situation has come into the mix. I will patiently sit through an earth shattering, blowout fight, between James and Effy, but I need some more of them together (pls pls pls). My heart and soul need it!

I will leave my begging and Effy/James loving for now to say that I adore all of your characters. Oscar, Poppy, Al, Aspen, Jasmine, Ruddy/Louis.AMAZE. I wish I had an infinite number of unread chapters in front of me. I just wanted to convey my utmost adoration of this story and your writing. I hope you update soon! You might be the story that brings me back to this site full-time.

xx Rachel

(if I could give this a 100k/10 I SO would)

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Review #3, by silverashesComposure: eleven.

26th July 2015:
LOVE. per usual. Your characters are fantastic. I've probably mentioned this before, but I love Evie's relationship with both Eoin and Harriet. I think it's hilarious. Please update soon (pretty, pretty please). I absolutely adore reading this story.

xx Rachel

Author's Response: YOU'RE SO LOYAL I LOVE IT. thank you so so so much!!

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Review #4, by silverashesFluorescent Adolescent : albus! albus! albus!

14th July 2015:
UGH. YES. I LOVED the Effy and James sections. Wow. I really liked seeing a softer side to James. It's adorable and makes my heart melt to pieces. The Albus and Poppy scene was very funny. I'm very glad Albus has (hopefully) found someone. I think it will be very entertaining to see what ensues. I'm stuck between wondering if Mikey is being an over-protective brother figure or if he has a genuine crush on Effy...hmm. The last paragraph is my favorite I think. I love how egotistical the two of them are together I think it is so so funny. Please update soon(: I look forward to each and every chapter!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: hey rachel! i think i've already mentioned but my best friend is called rachel. i probably have mentioned- i'll stop now. sorry.
i'm SO HAPPY you liked the effy sections, especially the other side of james. the more i think about him the more i think about how fundamentally he is harry potter's son like obviously he's not going to be this absolute prick everyone makes him out to be, you know?
and regarding mikey- i suppose you'll just have to wait and see. hopefully not waiting too long, i'm writing the next chapter now, but yeah. watch this space!
and you're SO RIGHT. effy and james are so funny, they share each other's worst traits- arrogance, big egos, selfish attitudes and yet a massive privilege guilt- and somehow they bring it all out in each other. so true. you rock. thank you SO MUCH for reviewing!! thank you thank you thank you!! ♥

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Review #5, by silverashesFluorescent Adolescent : labradors, hedgehogs

2nd July 2015:
LOVE. I have nothing but absolute love for this story: the characters, the plot, everything! Even though there was little James/Effy, I really enjoyed the chapter. Her relationship with Mikey is fantastic; I wish I had a friend like him! Her relationship with Al is also enviable. He's adorable, and I loved their little heart to heart talk. I am very excited to see what her Patronus is/what memory makes it happen! Please update soon, I am so in love with this story!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: rachel! oh my god- thank you SO MUCH. you are honestly so lovely! thank you so much, thank you thank you thank yoou!
i'm so glad you like her relationship with mikey because it's honestly so much fun to write. al is based off a real life friend so i suppose i'm kind of cheating with him? idk.
but thank you so much for reviewing- ch14 is up and i hope you like it! xx

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Review #6, by silverashesAt Midnight: Mirage

29th May 2015:
Hello there!

The idea of Molly and a mysterious snagged my attention so I though I'd read this one, and I loved it! I think it's so interesting what you've done with Teddy! Usually he's characterized as a bubbly, warm, and loving character. I like that you changed up the stereotype and made him your own! I feel terrible that he treated Molly so badly. Poor girl! He's such a complex character. I started out by hating him, but as his layers were unravelled he became even more interesting. Still a pain and rather nasty, but at least he has some remorse!

And then I love how the stranger comes sweeping in and is everything Teddy is not! He gave her the kiss she couldn't have from Teddy and tried building her up instead of tearing her down! Overall a brilliant story! I loved it!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: HELLO!

Thanks for stopping by with this awesome review! I don't think anyone would expect Molly to be swept away by a mysterious anything so I'm glad that you stopped by. I don't think too many people like this story but this made me happy!

Teddy is awful in almost all of my stories, I never saw him as a very nice person. You get more about him in my story, "Transparent" though if you were curious. He's a very complex character that I think you'd like.

Ah, this mysterious stranger might hurt Molly more than Teddy but you'd have to keep reading to find out.

Thank you so much!


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Review #7, by silverashesIn the Distance of Bravery : 7

28th May 2015:
Oh please update soon. I need to know how this ends. I need to know more. I am completely and utterly besotted with this story. Teddy breaks my heart every time he's with Pippa. And Lucy breaks my heart each time we get closer and closer to the reasoning between their break. You have created absolute brilliance! Please, please update soon!

xx Rachel

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Review #8, by silverashesIn the Distance of Bravery : 6

28th May 2015:

xx Rachel

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Review #9, by silverashesIn the Distance of Bravery : 5

28th May 2015:
This story literally breaks my heart. I am so saddened and so enthralled by this story. I can't stop reading. I love the songs at the top of the page as well. I love listening. I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of tears. Scorpius is the comic relief I need to keep from crying. I do hope there will be a happy ending to this story. Oh, man. You're breaking my heart. Absolutely brilliant writing. I adore the flashbacks. Off to read more, thank you for this brilliance!

xx Rachel

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Review #10, by silverashesKryptonite: 2 May

28th May 2015:
*cries* So, so good. Oh my gosh. I ADORE Teddy and Victoire. You did such a beautiful job with this story. I really enjoyed reading it. Their relationship was so perfectly created. Teddy cares about her so much; I absolutely love it.

Brilliant story! Thank you for sharing it with us all!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: aw thank you so much! i too adore teddy and victoire (as you can probably tell). i'm really glad you liked it; i had so much fun telling their story!

thanks for the lovely review! ♥

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Review #11, by silverashesDon't Forget Me: My Hero

28th May 2015:
Oh my gosh. Wow. You really made every single one of those 500 words count. That was such a powerful story. "Don't forget about me James. You're the only one who promised that you wouldn't." That line killed me inside; absolutely shattered my heart. I loved the simplicity of the story. It didn't need any detailed descriptions or dialogue. The simple writing made it that much more effective in the fact that you could feel the emotion behind Albus' (I'm assuming it was Albus) words. I could feel the strength he was trying to radiate, but as the story continued you could feel him breaking. It makes me so sad that everyone took his word so easily, without questioning anything. My chest aches for him. I do hope James kept his word.

Overall such a brilliantly written story. I loved it! Have a beautiful day!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: I feel terrible for putting Albus through this, especially for a brother that doesn't seem to care all that much. Yep, it's Albus' words. I'm so glad that you could tell that from what I had written, I wanted to show that he's slowly starting to give up all hope, and his one beacon of hope is slowly starting to leave him.

Thank you so much! I hope that you have a brilliant day too!

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Review #12, by silverashesTrapped: Trapped

21st July 2014:
Hello! So I browsing through the recently added stories, and I came across yours. It sounded a little dark and mysterious, so I thought I'd stop in for a quick read. I like the almost mournful twist you have on Rose. I've seen her portrayed as nasty, stubborn, and bubbly; but I've never seen her so trapped. I think you did a wonderful job! I liked the new Rose, even though it made me sad to see her like that. She elicits a new kind of feeling from the reader!

Lovely, lovely job!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Thank you so much Rachel! It makes me very happy to hear that you liked the twist on her, your review means a lot, thanks! :)

- Leo

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Review #13, by silverashesGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 7

18th July 2014:
Ah, again I love Ginny. She's taking Sadie under her wing. I liked the idea about Ginny's hiding place in the tree trunk. It was so quaint, and something I think she would definitely need in a house of all boys! Sadie's starting to blossom. Slowly but surely!

Oh! Fred saw what Sadie was seeing?! OMG I need to find out why. EEK! I can't wait to keep reading!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much for this review! I always love it when you pop up. And I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter! It was fun to give Ginny something that was just hers, not inherited from an older brother. And to have her share it with Sadie felt really natural.

Glad you think Sadie is starting to blossom. She has a long way to go, but this family is certainly helping her.

And yes, Fred saw Sadie's memory. As for how, well...we'll get there.

Thanks again for reading!

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Review #14, by silverashesBackground Noise: The Curse of Carkett Close

18th July 2014:
Hullo, I'm in love with your story and all of it's characters. That was rather blunt, but I thought I'd put it all out there into the open. Joanna and Nora are both absolutely and positively entertaining. I like how different this story is. It has such a unique charm to it! My favorite quote was definitely this conversational gem:

-You mean that Anglo-Saxon burial mound?

-Yes, that was my inspiration for the cake. Here.

I actually laughed out loud. Not even figuratively, but quite literally. Please update soon!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hello Rachel!

Gah, THANK YOU. I loved the bluntness of your opening statement! And I'm well flattered that you're so entertained by Jo and Nora. And I'm pleased I managed to induce real, literal laughter from you!

Many thanks for reading and taking the time to leave this smashing review! ♥


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Review #15, by silverashesGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 6

17th July 2014:
Hello, hello! I'm back from the dead! I can't believe I missed this much of the story, good God! I absolutely adore how kind Fred, George, and Ginny were to Sadie in this chapter. The whole scene with the jacket nearly broke my heart (in a good way)! Though my heart did shatter when she had to watch her entire family die right in front of her eyes. What an awful thing to make such a young child -- or anyone -- experience. Poor Sadie!

Once again, you did a lovely job! I love reading this story, so I'm off to the next chapter!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hello! I know that feeling! I've been "dead" for most of the year until now, so no need to apologize! I'm just so excited that you've started reading again.

Thank you for your kind words! I'm so happy you liked Fred and George and Ginny in this chapter, and the way they treated Sadie. And sorry about shattering your heart. It was hard to do, but it was necessary for the story.

Thanks again! Can't wait to see what you think of the next chapter.

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Review #16, by silverashesFluorescent Adolescent : it's cold outside

13th June 2014:
Hi, hi! So basically I'm utterly enthralled with this story. I absolutely adore it. I sat down an hour and a half ago to start reading, and I haven't moved since. I think my legs are completely numb right now, but it's so worth it. I ADORE Effy. And James. And Aspen. And Al. And Mikey. And Oscar. I love everyone, honestly. I love Effy's sass and her quick wit. Her and James need to get their ducks in a row and figure out what they're going to do with their relationship because I love them together. Speaking of James, I hope he's okay. I'm really excited to see what happens next! (I'm secretly hoping Effy will go to France with the Potters!) Please, please update soon! This story is absolutely lovely!


Author's Response: ahh this MADE MY DAY i'm SO glad you like it! it's genuinely been so fun to write and i'm just so happy that you seem to like it so much ahahah- i don't really know what to say! luuusms!! this review made my day, i'm so glad you like the crew with all their flaws and their selfish habits and obnoxious ways- and i'm especially happy you like effy & james! thanks again for reviewing rachel xxx

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Review #17, by silverashesComposure: ten.

2nd February 2014:
You're back! I've been looking forward to this for so long! It's like a belated Christmas present, and I'm ecstatic! I loved, loved, loved this chapter to no end. I ship Evie and Freddie so hard >_< I know they're not in a good place right now, but I love them! I think it's absolutely hilarious that she ended up spending the rest of the night with Freddie's ex. I was in tears I was laughing so hard. I also love Eoin. His character is so intoxicating. I can't wait to see where you take us next! Please update soon!

xx Rachel

PS Thank you for the shout-out it made my day :D

Author's Response: No, YOU'RE BACK! -squishes-
Your dedication to reviewing and your happiness and niceness and general gushy words and praise makes my head swell and makes me want to fold you up and put you in a box so I can pull you out whenever I feel sad, which is exactly why I always go back and read the reviews you leave if I need a boost! Honestly, your reviews make my day over and over again and I do love you for it. THANK YOU SO MUCH

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Review #18, by silverashesComposure: nine.

17th November 2013:
YAY! *twirls around* I was so excited when I saw that you updated! It's been such a hectic fall, and I've been away from this site for so long. It was so exciting to see a new chapter! Squee! Ugh have I mentioned before how much I love Freddie? I love him so much it hurts my heart! The only thing I love more than Freddie is the prospect of him and Eva becoming a couple. Ah

Author's Response: YOU ARE ADORABLE! thank you so so so much. you always make my day, it's the best thing ever you lovely creature you!

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Review #19, by silverashesHourglass: 3 years 47 days

2nd November 2013:
Hi there!

I'm so sorry that it took me over a month to get over here *blushes*. I'm wicked embarrassed! It shouldn't have taken me so long, but the month of October put me into academic over drive (with college applications and the like).

I think you've done a lovely job with the first chapter! I totally understand your feelings on first chapters! They're really hard to write because you want them to be perfect. You've done just that! I love the whole chapter! The very beginning with the parchment paper had me laughing. The fact that the parchment expressed pros and cons was hilarious!

Scorpius' character is very interesting! I've never read a story where he is snobby and self-centered like his father was in the books! I like the change. It sets him apart from all the other Scorpius' wandering around this site. His character is very different from Al's, and I like their contrast! I loved the part with the note! It was so realistic! Rose and Scorpius were giving him such a hard time. My favorite was the ending line! I loved, loved, loved the ending line! Well I guess it was the second to last line!

- He let out a dry laugh. No worries, D.L.Z. I dont have time to fall in love.

Overall I think you have a wonderful start! This chapter was absolutely lovely! Keep up the good work!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: No need to be sorry! I'm writing this response two months later than I should've. So really, I should be apologizing.

AND also saying thank you thank you thank you.

I love Al and Scorpius's relationship, so I'm glad that you feel the same. They are very opposite, but they're also both trying to separate themselves from their fathers' legacies--both for different reasons--so they have more in common than initially expected. I'm going to explore their relationship more in future chapters, so this was just a taste of what is to come!

Gah, I'm just so glad you liked it. Thank you!

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Review #20, by silverashesGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 5

29th September 2013:
Hello, lovely!

I just have to say that I fall in love with Sadie more and more every chapter. She has this sort of innocence, but at the same time she has been jaded by her traumatic childhood. She's this mix of qualities that makes her an interesting character to read! I feel so bad that she's so nervous about meeting new people. It must be quite a change to go from being alone to living in a room with a bunch of other girls. Awe, I love all of the boys. They're so sweet to Sadie, and their banter makes me laugh!

I loved the section with Bill. His analyzation of Sadie's condition was interesting! Her whole story just seems to fit so gracefully into the fourth book. It all flows so smoothly! Ohmigosh Bill is so sweet. My heart ached when Sadie began to cry. She has so much hurt built up inside of her. She needs someone like Bill to take the spot of her absent older brother.

I hope she and Harry have a conversation soon. I can see them getting along quite swell-ly. Another brilliant chapter! I can't wait to read the next one!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hi yourself! Sorry I'm slow responding! Real life has been brutal again.

And I can't tell you how much you just made my day with your first sentence there. You are really falling in love with Sadie? THAT IS SO COOL! I put this up, pretty sure everyone would end up hating Sadie and flaming me for having a Mary-Sue, and I have been so astonished at the responses I've received instead.

That innocence is something I stuck in Sadie on purpose. Yes, she's had a horrible, horrible life, but at the same time, she's also been rather sheltered. And, I really wanted a character that wasn't the sarcastic, loud, popular girl that everyone loves to hang out with. So, I'm so happy you are enjoying how I'm writing her.

And yes, don't we love our Weasley boys (and Harry.) They are just the best!

Oh, thank you! I was nervous about using Bill, as he's kind of not as popular and I didn't want it to come across as creepy or anything, but I really wanted to give Sadie a big-brother type character to bond with.

And yes, Sadie has a lot of hurt she's holding inside, and she's not always very good at letting it out. She's gonna need help with that...

Promise some Harry and Sadie friendship building soon. :D

Thanks again for reading. Right now I'm thinking the next chapter will go up in the first of December, but I'm making Sadie fic my nano project, so there might be more sooner.

Thanks again!

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Review #21, by silverashesPicking Up the Pieces: Flashback

29th September 2013:

I liked the beginning of this chapter a lot. We got to see a whole new side of the story. Reoccurring attacks, Gawain becoming increasingly suspicious. Harry and Ron's characters added a nice touch. You did a good job characterizing them. I felt like they had been pulled out of the novels! I feel really sorry for the man who died. His mangled body shows how horrible his death must have been! Awe, the conversation between Draco and Harry was so cute. I loved Harry's ability to forgive and forget!

OMG. When Draco got home I nearly fell out of my chair. My heart jumped into my throat. I would bet money that Gawain had a hand in the attack. Poor Anaxandra, as if she's hasn't been through enough. She can't seem to catch a break!

The next part was fabulous. All of those pictures matched what had happened to her. She must have been so terrified when the lights began to flicker. My hands were shaking during that entire scene! Ohmigosh. What an intense chapter! Absolutely brilliant!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: I'm glad that you enjoyed this! I was really wary of the action scene, and I'm happy to see that it had you on edge!

I'm also very happy that you thought I got Harry and Ron down. I'm having a really hard time characterizing them in that chapter, and in chapters to come. So to see that you liked that was awesome.

Thank you for the feedback! :)

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Review #22, by silverashesCareful What You Wish For: The Dementor on the Train

28th September 2013:
Hi, hi!

*hides behind hands* I'm wicked sorry for the late review. Real life has been dragging me down lately. I've been trying to get to this review for a week and a half now! I do apologize!

Anyways, I loved this chapter. The whole car ride scene at the beginning has such a perfect balance. It was light hearted with all of the characters and their hilarious banter, but at the same time you snuck in a little bit of darkness. The snippet about Sirius Black added depth to the story, and I really liked it!

I love Penny and Angus! They're so funny! I would love to have the two of them as friends! I laughed so hard when Angus told Dani that she was like Oliver. They're perfect for eachother. I know this is a little soon (seeing as it is only the second chapter) , but I do hope they end up together! MEEP! She's thinks he's good looking! YAY! We're making progress. Go Dani!

I think you did a brilliant job entwining your own material with the information from the book! It flowed beautifully! I felt like Dani, Kat, and everyone else were meant to be in the books. It fit in so nicely!

My absolute favorite line from this chapter was this:

-"Admittedly, that boyfriend happened to be Percy Weasley, Hogwarts resident prat, but beggers couldnt be choosers."

I laughed so hard that my eyes watered a little bit. Wonderful chapter!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hello!

Seriously, don't worry about how long it takes, because I know exactly what you mean!

I'm really glad you liked this chapter! And I definitely like adding references into this story about canon events, such as the escape of Sirius Black.

I'm so happy you like Penny and Angus - I'd love to have them as friends, as well. And how could you not think Oliver is good looking? You'd have to be half blind!

Thank you for the lovely review!


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Review #23, by silverashesPicking Up the Pieces: Happenstance

28th September 2013:
Hello! *hides behind desk*

I'm so, so sorry for my lack of punctuality on this review. It's been about two weeks, and for that I'm severely sorry! I've been meaning to leave this review for a really long time!

I LOVED this chapter! I like it when Anaxandra and Draco take little field trips outside of her house. They're always so entertaining! Anaxandra's run-in with Arlok was wicked interesting. It was a nice way to wade into her past. We were so close, SO close to finding out more about her. Then Draco had to ruin it all. *heavy sigh* Come on Draco!

I hope we find out who killed her family! Arlok obviously knows who it was, but he seems adamant on on not telling Anaxandra. Hmm...a little suspicious. Maybe Arlok had a hand in the catastrophe? I guess we shall find out in up coming chapters. I'll be holding my breath until we get there!

You're doing such a good job keeping the interest up in this story! Every chapter reveals a little bit more, or ALMOST reveals something which makes me excited to keep reading. The characters are developing so nicely. I hope we can have a little more Draco/Anaxandra nice time soon!

Brilliant like always!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: No worries at all! :)

I'm glad that you liked this chapter! And I'm also very happy that this entertains you, as that has been my worry with this story. I'm trying to keep the pace consistent and also add in a little more each chapter so that the reader isn't completely lost, and I'm glad you think I'm doing a good job of that!

You're getting very close to Ana/Draco nice time! Very close!!!

Thank you so much for your feedback!

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Review #24, by silverashesEngaged?!: Engaged?!

14th September 2013:
Hello there!

I had some time on my hands, so I thought I'd tackle your story! Sorry my page hasn't been updated in a while. My reviews were piling up, but the second week of school is always so crazy! Enough about crazy reality! Your story is very interesting! It was a whirlwind of very interesting, crazy things, but I thought it as hilarious! It was so unique! I've never read anything like it before!

I thought it was cool that the reader kind of has to use their head to read the story -- well I mean in the sense that they have to concentrate and think about what's going on. I understood the whole story, and I thought it was wicked funny. I liked all the bizarre things that happened throughout the course of the story-line. I think the Gryffindor party in the Common Room, and then the entire house getting locked out was my favorite. The whole thing was so comical. Overall very nicely done!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hello again Rachel! :)

Thanks for reviewing this :) Don't worry about crazy reality! It strikes all of us all the time. No need to apologize!

I'm glad you find it new and interesting. I think that's a huge compliment you can give a writer :)

I know it could be a little... well, it demands concentration in some ways. I know it's busy, and I'm glad you still liked it :)
Aww :) Thanks! I'm glad you found it funny. I was striving for that.

Thank you so much :)

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Review #25, by silverashesEssay Forgotten: The Library

14th September 2013:
Hello there!

I want to apologize for my untimely-ness of this review! I had my second week of school and it was beyond crazy. I miss my summer freedom, haha. Anyways! Back to your story! I think your idea is very unique. I have to say that I have never read a Ginny/Draco story before! This is new ground for me.

You had the characters personalities pinned nicely! I feel like the story line might fit better with a short story, so you can develop their relationship. I think (because they hate each other so much) that it would be more realistic if they had a little more time to find those feelings for each other. Maybe they get stuck in a detention together or locked in the Room of Requirement! I think you could make this into a really interesting short story!

I think your writing style and plot are both very interesting. Your writing flows very smoothly, there's never any hiccups. You give enough detail for the reader to picture the characters and their surroundings! The plot is very unique, so I think that readers will find the story very interesting!

One minor spelling error that I noticed:
-It took all of her self-control not to curs him. Please, just go."
-curs should be curse

Overall I think you have a really good start!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Oh, don't worry about it:) Sorry about the timing of my response. I hope I'm doing the ship justice, as it's your fist one to read.

Thank you! I really like to try and make their personalities as accurate as possible, so that's good:)That's a good idea! I like the idea of them being together in detention.

Aww, thanks! I'm so happy you like it! *happy dance*

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