Reading Reviews From Member: BookDinosaur
  
313 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BookDinosaurTurbulence: Chapter 1

19th August 2015:
YO ERIN I'M BACK BE PROUD OF ME I LIVE FOR YOUR PRIDE

i mean that might be taking it a little far but psh, life was made for exaggerations. or something. y'know i'm just going to make a completely unlinked drop into my review

ah, first things first (i'm the realest; NO i'm sorry i'll shut up now i couldn't resist) ANYWAY, first things first, i love love love the wordbuilding that you've put into this chapter. i really loved that everything you expressed to the reader was so smoothly introduced to the audience and how it all fit so well into astoria's dialogue - it made all these small details about the school so realistic and so well expressed. a lot of the time worldbuilding is often a big lump of information that the author really really wants to get across but don't quite know how, so they end up sticking it awkwardly into a paragraph and then awkwardly stick that paragraph into the chapter where it almost inevitably dos not work out, ya feel? but you avoided that trap by having everything we learn come out of astoria's mouth in her dialogue and it all flowed and i am in awe i wish i could infodump my (very few) readers so smoothly

that was probably a massive paragraph oh my goodness, and to avoid looking at it too much you know what i'm going to do? press that enter key. yep

and YO, now that that monster of a paragraph is out of my sight i can continue

i think the one piece of CC i have for you is that the scene with the two (awful, horrible, nasty, UGH) bullies, where astoria is fighting the two of them - it just kind of comes off as a little awkward? and this could by all means be just me, but when she's kicking their butts to kingdom come it just feels kinda stiff - like maybe in between these lines:

“That’s it, I’ve had it!” Astoria screamed, waving her wand wildly.

“OW.”


If you had some more in there, like a description of how angry Astoria was feeling or the frown that was pulling at her face, maybe it'd help make the scene feel more natural? but yeah, this could definitely just be me being silly again so you can definitely ignore this if you want

and ooh, animagi lessons! that's such a rad idea and i can't wait to see where you go with that

i love the character of astoria (i'm sorry, this is such an all-over-the-place review!). i love how complicated you've made her and her interactions with others, and i really like the way that you've portrayed her disorders. you haven't made it ridiculously overt but it's just there, which is the perfect balance. i really like that she has ways to calm herself down as she's alone, and i love how she struggles to keep herself in check around others, and yet rushes off to help someone without a second thought if they need it ♥ she's an amazing character already and i can't wait to see where you go with her

oh, i'm so interested to see how you deal with the return of you-know-who in america! i wouldn't generally think that voldemort would have supporters so far away but it's a really fascinating subject, to think about how voldemort could have affected america, and who knos, maybe all that time harry was hunting horcruxes voldemort was gallavating around all fifty states and collecting bumber stickers! okay, so probably not that, but you get the message, i hope

i feel like i should tell you that the only "similar story" i can see down the bottom of the page is elisabeth's hamartia, which, to be honest, is my goal in life.

and last thing i'm going to say before signing off this monster is that i love love love that you're touching on race in this story and gah i so want to see how race affects their lives in america (hopefully in positive ways as well, and not just awful prejudices pink pony-boys calling them awful names) (pink pony makes such a cutting insult)

oh, i lied, i think i have one more thing to say; i think you forgot to close a bold tag or something in your a/n, because everything on the page afterwards is bold and i don't think it should be

OKAY THAT WAS THE LAST THING I SWEAR I'M SIGNING OFF NOW

♥ emily

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Review #2, by BookDinosaurTurbulence: Prologue

19th August 2015:
ERIN HAI HAI LOOK AT ME REVIEWING YOUR THING THAT I'VE BEEN SAYING I WILL REVIEW BE PROUD OF ME

(and also, just for future reference, i wrote erin with a great many i's in there, so if it comes out as just ERIN it's my computer/the grey box being funky with me. i wanted to make sure that you knew how i intended to write your name)

SO. SO. this STORY. i've been meaning to read it for ages especially when i saw that it was for jess' diversity challenge bc let's face it, more diversity in fics is always a good thing. and oh, i'm so so glad that you decided to take this diversity in a direction that was to do with mental illness because as much as all diversity is needed in fics, i feel as though mental illness is really glossed over and i'm so so so glad that you chose to focus on that with your main character

and bipolar disorder as well - i know so little about it and i suspect that what i think i know is stuff that i actually don't know at all, so i'm really super duper interested to see how you write it in this story! i'm sure that, as always, you will do a stellar job (no pressure or anything, tho >:D )

aw man, i feel so hard for astoria right now. like, she's only such a small wee baby, what did she ever do to deserve this :( i can only imagine how awful it must be to go through life with an undiagnosed mental illness and not being treated for it or anything, and i'm glad for astoria that she's at least been diagnosed and kinda knows what's going on? ahhh, i can already tell she's going to have to be so incredibly strong for this and you're probably going to break her down and gah erin no you are cruel

and awh, that parting line about the last thing she saw being daphne's sneer! i hate that so much - not your writing or anything, ofc, but because i headcanon the two sisters as so close and it breaks my heart to think that they might be pitted against each other or that daphne would hold her sister in contempt like that. gah, emily, this is not your story. calm down. i'm sorry

and agh, astoria! i suppose it's kind of pointless to ask her how she didn't notice her friend lying on the grass as she ran - in a way, though, i think that made it even more heartbreaking, the fact that she honestly had no idea what was going on and that she was just running, running, running, and just thinking her best friend was right behind her :( you truly are cruel

and oh, man, i loved loved loved all the prejudices that you brought up in the story, with hector greengrass being a mean and grudging old man who doesn't want to be asociated with muggle medicine whatsoever - i mean, it's so heartbreaking to think that he would kick his own daughter out so easily, you know? but at the same time it's definitely realistic and i really love the way that even now, even this early into the story and when voldemort hadn't returned yet, you showed the prejudices that riddle the wizarding world

ahh, and astoria's being sent to america! poor baby D: i bet she's going to meet some interesting characters, tho, and i'm so excited to see where you decide to take this story!

♥ emily

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Review #3, by BookDinosaurTom. : Ginny.

18th August 2015:
ERIN HAI HAI HAI

look at me be proud of me i'm reviewing a thing but not just any thing i'm reviewing your thing and you should know from my proclamations in the cabin that i do not know how to shut up in my reviews so your eyes need to be warned before they read any further

oh man OH MAN ginny weasley is my DARLING and i have hardly ever read any fics about her?? let alone fics that centre on her in her first year, when she was being taken over by voldemort, that time in her life where she was arguably least in control and vulnerable, or at least as we see her in canon - it's something endlessly fascinating to me, how Tom Riddle's diary affected ginny, and something i think is really glossed over in a lot of fanfics.

this story is immensely interesting to me because it focuses a lot on how, exactly, tom riddle gained control of ginny and her soul, and your take on it is so delightfully creepy and realistic and it was honestly just a pleasure to read. the way you showed tom in this story - cold and merciless, and he appears so lovely to ginny but there's this something that's not so pleasant underneath the smooth and caring facade, and you do such a great job of getting that something across to the audience.

the writing style of this oneshot is so beautiful as well - it's very stark, and that goes so well with the material that you're working with; there aren't any extra sentences or descriptions, and that does such an amazing job of setting the tone throughout the oneshot, there's nothing there that doesn't need to be and that does such a good job of conveying the bleakness and awful blankness of ginny's mind when tom was invading it.

the words that you used, the first words that tom wrote in the oneshot - Is that you, lovely Ginevra? it gave me the chills, it actually did. there's something about the way that you write him which is so delightfully creepy, even though to all intents and purposes he appears to ginny to be a nice, harmless diary.

i'm overusing both italics and the word delightfully, i think, in this review. i'm sorry :P

i love your descriptions in this oneshot as well - this was a pretty stark oneshot, so when you did utilise description it really did stand out and that worked so well; the descriptions of how disheveled ginny became once tom started talking to her again were just so well done, as were the descriptions of her anxiety at the beginning. and the description of the cursive was haunting - i don't really think about handwriting that much, but it must have become such a massive part of ginny's life, watching that handwriting, because that was the only way she had to communicate with the diary, you know? so that was amazingly well done and your descriptions are gorgeous in this and i love it ♥

i should probably finish off this review now because i don't want to scroll up and see how much i've been rambling but i enjoyed this oneshot SO MUCH, what have i been depriving myself of all this time, erin?

i will hopefully be back to review some more of your stuff soon!

♥ emily

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Review #4, by BookDinosaurFaith: beginnings.

15th August 2015:
BABY KANGAROO

ALEXANDRE DESPLAT. oh my days, he's amazing. like, three of his pieces were shortlisted for the oscars this year alone, right?? and i loved his work in the imitation game. oh, and he did godzilla! that was last year, but i loved that too. he just makes great scores, and i loved the nod to him in this chapter. alexandre desplat is a boss. anyway

aw man, i love the worldbuilding you've got going! this establishes so easily that they're in the future and tech has advanced but you wok it in so naturally and so easily that is just seems like a perfectly natural part of the story to have holographic screens. and i love the small explanation that the magic wouldn't work in diagon alley but it works here and just - your worldbuilding is SO EFFORTLESS and i am in awe, baby kanga.

also, i love the way you show that moving into a cheaper flat has affected them - on the one hand, there is a perpetual breeze creeping through the house, and on the other hand, they can buy REAL CHEESE and use MORE THAN THREE SHEETS OF TOILET PAPER. tbh, if i couldn't buy real cheese i probably wouldn't buy cheese. fake cheese is awful. and, although i haven't experienced fake cheese or breezy flats, i have had to ration toilet paper and it was the actual worst. D: i'm so glad for the two of them that they no longer have to go through that misery.

also, i feel you about the unpacking. why unpack when there's the option to live out of a box/suitcase? when i moved house i unpacked my books and then spent the rest of the time scrounging in boxes for clothes. ten months later and there are still boxes in my room. i'm telling you my life story now. i should be reviewing. i'm sorry, let's move on

magical coffee machines dug out of boxes on a whim are truly beautiful characters to have in your story.

ugh, your descriptions are so pretty, kanga. i kinda want to marry your writing, except lisa is the love of my life and also my fiancee and, while she would probably understand, she would probably also be more than a little upset at this development of affairs. anyway (i use that word a lot as a way to get things moving again. i hope you don't mind)

okay, i have one bit of CC - near the beginning of the chapter, you have a line that says: Austin was a little hurt by Faith’s reluctance to vent her feelings to him. “Can I at least know why you broke up?” i'm not sure and this could by all means just be me being a weirdo, but that line kind of felt weird to me and stuck out as something very stiff compared to the relaxed way the rest of the chapters flow. if anything i might suggest that you add something onto the first sentence or connect the two in some way, but this could DEFINITELY just be me being silly, so feel free to ignore it.

oh man, tho, the CONCERT. all the reliable sources were not wrong. the writing there was so well done and the usic was described so well - and the song lyrics! you are a boss and i love the concert that you wrote. i really loved the way the focus in that paragraph shifted as well, kind of reflecting the mood of the crowd? like, from crowd-based to mixed to focusing just on faith and austin. i really loved that touch and it made the story so realistic and well done and GAH so beautiful

austin is so easily sold on the idea of making an album, bless him. this is such an amazing idea and it brings MUSIC into the wizarding world - until this story started mentioning it i really didn't realise how absent it is from canon. ofc there are the names like celestina warbeck and the Weird Sisters, and a couple of scenes where the weasley's were listening to music, but what is teenagehood without earbuds firmly in your ears and angsty metal roaring through your brain that loudly? and since i know you have experience in this area i am so looking forward to seeing how this comes about

this review took SO LONG to leave, and i fully blame the cabin bc they were talking and i joined in. anyway, this was a really well-written, amazing chapter to read, and i can't wait to continue on to chapter three and then be in the position to bug you for updats, ehehehe

♥ emily

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Review #5, by BookDinosaurFaith: change.

15th August 2015:
BABY KANGAROO

i am here to read and review yo shizzle, but be warned, my reviews are awful and rambly and get distracted a lot by pretty turns of phrase and MUSIC. i don't know whether i'm capable of leaving a to-the-point review, so you have been warned, even though there isn't much point to warning you because you're only going to read this once i've left the review? anyway

omg, i love Faith and Austin, so much so that i bothered to capitalise their names. this means a lot. that shift key is v v far away. i love how you wrote the two of them, because even though you didn't bother to give us a million paragraphs on them ("Austin and Faith have been best friends since x binding incident and y cementing incident and got up to a, b, and c activities at hogwarts together, blah blah). i will admit that i think i'm vaguely guilty of this myself, but i really appreciate that you could just write these characters and show us that they're best friends rather than telling us every detail of their friendshippy backstory to try and convince us, you know? i feel like this went on a lot longer than i wanted it to. i'm kinda scared to scroll up

so i'm starting a new paragraph instead. this is how i deal with my problems, yay

i love the amount of backstory you have in here as well! like, seriously - while it can and does work in some stories, i am so so glad that instead of clumsily saying somewhere that "faith and austin have been playing at seedy bars and frittering their money away on custom-made ashtrays" you just worked it in as faith kinda giving a dose of reality to austin?? it worked as a line of dialogue and it added a lot of background to these characters really effortlessly - and this was just one example i could think of - so major kudos to you for that

can i just say, The water runs and the shower knobs have temperature adjusting capabilities and also pointing out the fact that each bedroom had a window with the glass still intact. This was hilarious. It reminded me of when my family was buying a house and the estate agent said "the floor won't need renovating'. like...good?? ?? ? i don't want to buy a house that needs to have its floors renovated??? anyway :P

“What do you mean? We move in at the end of the month,” said Austin.

“Tomorrow’s the end of the month.”
o austin. you innocent puppy. i love him already

i really enjoy your dialogue. sometimes it can feel really forced when an author has an entire section just dialogue, like the last scene of this chapter, but i think you have a really good grasp on your characters and their conversations just seem so natural and it's amazing to read.

aw, i love that faith is trying to be so optimistic about things. bless her. "a change of place will be good for us" and "the acoustics will be great" bless her

OH, OH, I ALMOST FORGOT: A BI FAITH!! !!1!!1 !!! i'm SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS you have NO IDEA. bi erasure is definitely a thing, i hardly ever see any bi characters in books/tv shows/movies/fic, and now YOU'RE WRITING ONE YAYAY. i LOVE LOVE LOVE that you're not scared to tackle the issues that bi people face so often, like the whole cheating thing - honestly, just because we have the capability to love someone else doesn't mean we will? esp if we're in a relationship w/ u??? i mean, you have the capability to love someone else too, but you don't see me accusing all gay and straight people of cheating

i got off topic

sorry.

but the relationship between cassie and faith!! you've painted them as such wildly different characters (and you did this so effortlessly as well, like - the way faith didn't want to touch the tabletops vs how relaxed faith was as one example), and i'd really love love love to find out what happened between them to put these two opposing people in a relationship and have it work, at least for some time

i'm definitely looking forward to seeing how the music factor comes into this, and i have had many many reliable sources tell me that you're great at writing music so this is V EXCITING and i can't wait to read on

holy swizzle, my character-count is in the thousands. i don't want to scroll up. i'm sorry for putting all this on you, and because i am awkward and don't know how to conclude, i'll just finish up now.

looking forward to reading the next chapter!

♥ emily

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Review #6, by BookDinosaurNo Strings Attached: three.

11th August 2015:
LISA (just so you know, that was written with multiple Is and As. In case it comes out as just LISA, i hope you realise how i intended for it to be written)

BUT I WANT FIRST REVIEW IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR

so. so. so. this CHAPTER. i mean, you gave us snippets throughout julno through the cabin but this was still so AmAZiNG i honestly laughed out loud reading some of these exchanges. your dialogue is the absolute best and i aspire to gain your skillz

okay, first things first, i am a massive fan of all the scorbus. so much scorbus. i'm so glad that you tackled the issue of scorpius feeling as though he was the means to an end in this relationship here and didn't just let it fizzle away (although, i never expected you to; you're the brilliant kind of writer who's aware enough not to let this kind of thread fizzle). i love that this knowledge, or what scorpius thinks of as knowledge, impacts how scorpius feels rather than you just having him keep it to himself and feel bad about it and then not have it show in his behaviour towards al at all. basically what i'm saying is that i find the way you portrayed scorp's emotional state after that bomb fom rose so realistic and well handled and lovely and do you see what i mean when i say i ramble

the small diatribe about bumblebees was beautiful. i feel like that deserves a mention all of its own. just, these sentences: There was something delightfully Hufflepuffian about them, bobbing black-and-yellow blurs that just went about their business, bothering no one, helping the world keep ticking over in their humble background way. They were part of an innocent, bucolic image
LOVELY.

and then there's what there is about rose being in love with scorpius, and is it true? i mean, i didn't think that her behaviour suggested it, but then i'm not an expert on behaviour, so. i'll just say that it's massively interesting to have a love triangle in this story, bc love triangles are something i always saw as A Massive Negative Thing and you're going to break down that stereotype one step at a time, amirite?

oh hahahaha, i was laughing far too hard at the conversation between rose and scorpius about their parents. i find that so relatable tho - like, i danced around labeling myself bi to my parents, and i think they picked up on the hints that i was leaving, but if i also had to come out to them as ace it would be far too confusing for them, probably, and then there's that whole stereotype that adults have with the youth "not being able to make up their minds" so i'm really interested to see how this conversation goes for scorpius and rose and their parents, hahaha

"Rose had a - a change of circumstance"
subtle, scorp. reeeal subtle

omg, draco and astoria walking in on scorp. OMG. and then trying to talk about it, omg. i am laughing so much. and i bet they thought they were being so clever by hustling each other out of the room once al arrived at the house, oh my DAYS. i'm crying

i honestly have no idea how much rambling and weird tangents this review has but what i do know is that my character limit is in the 2000s so i should prolly wrap this up really quickly

i'm so excited to see where you're going from here, lisa, so you should definitely up date soon (and on that note, aren't you glad we're skype contacts?? this way, instead of being limited to april and july, i can bug you ALL YEAR ROUND. i have no intention of using this gift in a responsibly manner >:D)

this was an amazing chapter, like always, and you should definitely update soon!

♥ emily

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Review #7, by BookDinosaurVictoire: The Guard

30th July 2015:
Hey there! This story's been on my Reading List for yonks now, and I finally started reading it tonight but forced myself to stop at the end and review the chapter. I've promised myself that I'm going to start reviewing more stories, and since I'm counting reviews for JulNo, here I am! :D

That was kind of a terribly long introduction. I'm sorry. :P

Anyway, chapter! You said in your a/n that this was a really different style for you. I have to applaud you for trying a new style, but what I mostly wanted to say was that I really couldn't tell in this story. Your writing flowed really naturally and nothing really seemed out of place, and you've got a great grasp on the tone that you're using to tell the story, so major major kudos to you for that!

And gosh, this was such an interesting first chapter! I love that you didn't really take a time out to introduce all the characters but rather introduced them to us by showing the readers what they do in their day-to-day life. You do a great job with all the characters and even though it's only the first chapter I'm looking forward to reading more of what they do.

And oh my, that first section! I really enjoyed reading from the perspective of Cormac, and I was so sad that he was just relegated to Azkaban duty all the time. I mean, I like to think that Harry and Ron wouldn't be that nasty to someone, but Cormac was something of an arrogant nasty in canon (can you tell how good I m at coming up with 12+ insults for people? Not good), and this was a really interesting take on their characters, showing their more vengeful sides, I suppose.

Ooh, Greyback laughing while he was dying and Lucius' comments sound so forboding! I don't know what they could be on about at the moment because I'm slow and often quite dim :P but whatever it is, it can't be very good, I don't think. Wahtever it is, I'm looking forward to watching it play out and seeing how it impacts our characters in Hogwarst!

One last thing before I sign off - I really liked the extract from the newspaper. It didn't sound overly, ridiculously formal, but it wasn't too casual either, and even though it was quite a lengthy piece it didn't detract from the flow of the chapter.

I really loved this as an introductory chapter and I'm looking forward to reading more!

♥ Emily

Author's Response: Hi Emily,

Thank you so so much for this review! I've not had many readers on this story recently so hearing that you liked it really made me feel so much better about it :)

I'm so glad you enjoyed Cormac. I had so much fun writing him. He's definitely a bit of a pain in the books and I think Harry and Ron haven't forgotten that, but this is also from his perspective so they're not treating him quite as unfairly as he thinks.

I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so so much for all the lovely comments.

Emma xx


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Review #8, by BookDinosaurNo Strings Attached: two.

23rd July 2015:
LISA omg you know, i added like a hundred As after that first one but the archives does this weird thing of cutting off multiple letters for me? so if you only get a capslock of your nickname you know why, and if you get the proper shouty LISA with several As that i delivered you, i just made something of a fool of myself by explaining something that didn't need to be explained. i don't know why i care so much about you getting a proper name-shout but I DO OKAY LISA okay right reviewing

i desperately want first review again i will settle for nothing less someone help me

omg. omgomgomg SCORPIS AND ALBUS. hot damn lisa, those two, i mean, it was getting pretty hot and heavy over there for a while.

:P

i'm so bad at being serious. lemme try again

you've successfully made me want them to kinda be a couple? idk. like, i don't really know who i ship scorpius with but then if occurred to be that after being in fandoms and on tumblr and just generally on the internet, my knee-jerk reaction is to ship something when i'm presented with the option to, and taking that into account, to be honest i feel as though i woulld be fine if scorp came out of this story still single but a loving father and with two good friends, you know?

but i still totally ship all the scorbus.

i kinda think that yeah, rose might be demi, but if she has to think about it and say "in a couple of years, perhaps maybe i will love you" it might not be love, you know? i'm not sure, as i'm certainly not an expert on sexualities and romantic orientations, but i lowkey ship the scorbus as of now. we'll see where that takes me, huh?

"she’d known Scorpius since he was a skinny, asthmatic and oddly accident-prone eleven-year-old, and he could see that innocent image of him shrivel up and die in Hannah’s eyes within seconds of them arriving"

this line is absolutely pure gold, but you know what makes it even better? this follow-up line:

“and this unlikely-looking honey badger is the father".

like, omg lisa, is there any way to express to you how much i appreciate your humour? i do not think there is a way but know that i appreciate all of yo fine self

aw bless, scorpius has so much respect for rose and her uterus. like, most of this is because he's scared, but still, it's nice to see a boy going "you know what, this is your body". i mean i am obviously no expert on pregnancy issues, but i love that rose is pro-choice and doesn't know what her choice is, and scorpius is willing to do things for the baby? that was kind of very weirdly phrased, and yeah, the fact that he's willing to be a stay-at-home dad is partly because his career options are limited but it's just nic to see how they're handling this. i'm not making sense. i shall proceed

ahh, and THEY'RE KEEPING THE BABY!! yayay? it wouldn't be a pregnancy fic if they weren't keeping the baby, but i feel as though i needed to celebrate their making a decision either way.

oof, i'm really looking forward to seeing how albus reacts to this properly, because i feel as though it didn't really sink in? or maybe it did and all that pushing people up against walls was a way of hiding his emotions and idk i'll stop talking now.

and yeah, another thing i'm really interested in seeing is how hogwarts and the headmistress is going to deal with this - i mean, it must be against some sort of school rule to be having a baby while you're still in hogwarts and while rose is (probably?) overage, the governing body probably won't be pleased at this, and i'm looking forward to seeing how you deal with that :D

anyway, this has been a very long and very rambly review, as usual (i need to learn to make things concise? i really really do) but what you can take away from this is that i really enjoyed this chapter and your humour is the best humour, and also that i'm looking forward to seeing how rose's pregnancy affects everyone else :D

update soon, lisa!

♥ emily

p.s - first review? I THINK THIS IS FIRST YAS FINGERS OF LIGHTNING

Author's Response: EMILY MY DEAREST

its okay you called me LISA-- with a thousand As in spirit and i appreciate the lengthy explanation bless your soul

(also can we take a moment to appreciate me RESPONDING IMMEDIATELY TO A REVIEW?? who am i)

okay but yeah, albus and scorpius are kinda the definition of "hot and heavy" sometimes and i'm shaking my head at myself for making them like that because WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT THESE MATTERS? ZERO. ZERO THING. but idk i can't help it that these two losers have ~chemistry

the way i see it with rose is she's at that point where you kinda...~know that things are about to get Real with your feelings for someone? like it's the calm before the storm. the moment when you look at them a tad too long and you're just like "oh no, this is going to get bad for me?? soon??" so that's the sitch with Rose but i also don't know, at this point, whether it's going to be scorose or scorbus that's endgame. i know about as much as scorpius does tbh, or maybe marginally more. but only marginally

so yeah, we'll see where shipping scorbus takes you. we'll see what shipping I-HAVE-NO-IDEA-WHO'S-STEERING-THIS-SHIP gets me. its all up to you, scorpius. lead on

describing scorpius hyperion malfoy as an unlikely-looking honey badger is probably the single best line of characterisation i've ever done tbh

i struggled with that bit so much because that's more or less exactly how i feel about things and then i was like "but scorpius is a dude like he probably wouldn't conceptualise this the same way you would" and then i was "what is this GENDER BINARY BUSINESS you're subscribing to right now lisa. stop it" and then i was like "you're right, self"

albus's reaction is going to be explored more in the next chapter and yeah there's definitely an element of it-didn't-sink-in coupled with the fact that he's generally bad at dealing with stuff. i don't know a lot about this albus yet except that he's failed seventh year and is Possessive with a capital P

and re. the hogwarts thing, like, they're on their way out. they've finished NEWTs and they're more or less just sitting around waiting for the academic year to officially end so they can get on the train and leave and never come back. hogwarts won't even know, apart from hannah

you should never learn to make things concise because these reviews are a blessing to receive and you're my favourite and YES YOU'RE FIRST. FINGERS OF LIGHTNING.

ily







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Review #9, by BookDinosaurBody Builders: talkin' body, or the contract

21st July 2015:
MALLORY HAAAI

I WILL FIGHT THE WORLD FOR FIRST REVIEW I DESPERATELY WANT THIS TO BE FIRST IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR

YAY update!! this was so fast. i'm so proud of you, and so excited for the next one already

I SWEAR TO GOD YOU ARE A HUMOUR GODDESS. how how how have you not written a parody-ish weird tale before? you're so good at it. there were so many lines i just desperately need to quote back at you and laugh at because this was the best and your style of humour is officially my favourite ♥

He sighed and wiped a solitary tear from his face in mourning for the beautiful arm.
frankly, freddy's obsessions with arms and bodies is a little alarming. i mean, he seems harmless now but how long until he goes full-on mad? that would be fun to see, but still. i forget what i was talking about? i hope this madness doesn't get too mad, anyway.

You can build a soda fountain! A theme park! A model of the interior of the Vatican!
you know what? this is exactly what i would do if i had a room of requirement, and probably in that order as well. can't criticise freddy there. a++

Melisande could tell that he was about to get onto some kind of soapbox about the privacy of children and adolescents
to be fair, tho, the privacy of children and adolescents is important. i do not blame freddy for his passion on this subject. is this just a subject that he's interested in, or were his parents concerned about his obsession with arms? i wouldn't blame them if they were, but in that case i also wouldn't blame freddy for having a soapbox about this issue. i've actually managed the impressive feat of pretty much conducting a conversation with myself about hypothetical situations. i should stop now

"And it looks like Alfy has turned on the light. Maybe he’s reading the Chemistry textbook I assigned him! Oh, glorious day!”
should i be asking why he's given Alfy that name and a chemistry textbook? Where would freddy have gotten a chemistry textbook and would he understand it? these are the important questions.

My son. My moon. My stars. The light of my life.
i feel this way about my dog. i relate to freddy more than is probably healthy.

Sarcasm is not appreciated right now. It isn’t even in your job description.
this is a line i loved just for the hell of it. this is a fantastic line and i love it.

I would like to be Head of Security and Aesthetic.
THIS IS THE BEST. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

omg, tho, i need to stop parroting your words back at you and talk about story things. building bodies seems like such a unique, amazing idea that i'm surprised nobody's ever written something like this before, or at least not that i know of. it's such an amazing idea, to transfigure things into random body parts and try to Create Life - what are they giong to do once/if they Create Life? how are they going to use it? with freddy involved, probably for nefarious purposes :P but i can't wait to see where this goes, it's such a fascinating idea!

i love the way that freddy and melisande interact with each other in this chapter - a little awkwardly, but somehow both of them are just so resigned to having each other there. i think that means something, you know, because melisande could easily have spoken to the prefects anyway and freddy could have just kicked her out, but instead they're both acting as though this is unavoidable and now their working together has been settled. i just love how they're not really considering any alternatives, lolol. you write the two of them so well and their interactions are so natural and organic, it's a pleasure to read.

and melisande! omg, i expected her to be a lot more uptight about things (and to be fair, i guess she was pretty stiff at first; it was just curiosity which got the better of her) but i absolutely adore how she just jumped right in to freddy's plan and made herself a little niche that she could be in charge of - i still don't quite understand how she's going to coax the room into giving her what she wants, but i'mm looking forward to seeing what she comes up with :P

this was truly a beautiful chapter, mallory, and i'm sorry for this mess of a review :P as you can probably tell, i really loved this chapter to pieces and i'm so looking forward to seeing where you go with this fascinating plot idea and your humour goddess-ness. update soon!

♥ emily

Author's Response: EMILY THIS REVIEW IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL MONSTER I JUST CAN'T EVEN OMG

of course you're first review, duh silly. :)

no no stop i'm not funny seriously, ugh my sense of humour is so weird. i crack myself up, but i don't expect other people to laugh, so it makes me smile that you think it's so funny. i hope i won't disappoint as the story goes along!

freddy is so weird, but this is freddy before he really knows who melisande is or has any other friends. trust me, that'll change. he'll maybe go madder than he is now, but his friends will keep him from going too mad. (and you'll maybe find out who his friends are in the next chapter, once i write the darned thing!)

haha, i love your hypothesizing about freddy's concern for privacy. yes, his parents are definitely quite concerned about his obsession with building bodies and "muggle-like science," but they stopped intruding so much in his older years. but genius lil' child freddy still remembers how his parents always interrupted his experiments as a child and doesn't want his children to face the same intrusion. :D (but you're right, giving kids privacy to do their own thing is, in most situations, a good thing. just it isn't so good if they're trying to take over the world or something.)

Concerning Alfy and the Chemistry book...Alfy has his name for the reason that gets explained later in the chapter, but the Chemistry book is just another example of me being contrary and weird. I think I might change it. After all, Alfy isn't actually alive yet. It might be Freddy's false hope of the body magically being alive, but the light was not turned on by Alfy. The Room of Requirement turned it on as Melisande and Freddy walked down the hall. I'll have to explain that in the next chapter...

(sorry, went all Proper Capitalization there)

haha, i think your love for timmy might've inspired that sentence. it was all over the cabin and all over twitter, how could i not be inspired?

I AM WAY TOO ATTACHED TO THE WORD AESTHETIC AND I DON'T EVEN CARE. i'm glad you like it too, and thanks so much for quoting all those lines back to me. :)

how are they going to use the Life they've Created? who knows? certainly not me...yet. but it might be for nefarious purposes, or only slightly-shady ones. :D

those two are so awkward, i s2g. they could just choose to leave well enough alone, but they're both rather contrary. so now they're going to be stuck together in this crazy project, and whoops, there it is. maybe melisande was a bit too open to the idea of working with freddy there, though, as she accepted it all too quickly for someone who "doesn't like change." will have to revise.

yeah, she should've been way more uptight, but again, curiosity...i'm definitely revising that before i write anything else on body builders because i don't want to screw up melisande's characterization too badly before the story gets going.

thanks so much for your amazing review, which truly was the bomb dot com.

♥mallory



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Review #10, by BookDinosaurWhere The Wind Takes Me: The Third Chapter

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hay again, isobel!

why are there only three chapters to this story?? :( isobel, i demand that you update. this is another reason i shouldn't have come to your ap for the hc challenge - i get addicted and there are no more chapters D': but onto the actual chapter - i'm SO INTRIGUED by this development isobel, you have no idea. i can't wait to see how everyone seems to be connected and whether these two girls are going to find out how they're related to each other. i just knnow i'm going to love watching this case play out because i love espionage-type stuff and you have such an amazing style of writing and sometimes the suspense is amazing. i'm really excited to see why these two girls were assigned to this case? because it would make sense to give mikhail more experienced partners for something like this. i'm already looking forward to the next chapter so much - this is so trippy, isobel.

please update soon! (if you do, i'll give you a better review that's actually divided into sections and with better formatting. deal?)

♥ emily

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Review #11, by BookDinosaurWhere The Wind Takes Me: The Second Chapter

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hay again, isobel! :D :D :D

i love your writing style, honestly, i have to say this. it's so smooth and lovely and if you look closely, there are things hidden in the words that you might not have seen the first time around. your/alice's style of narration is lovely and i really love how you've characterised all the people in here. i love that you're not afraid to introduce vengeful characteristics in alice, or vanity in katherin, and still have them feel like real characters going through real troubles. i'm still wondering how alice ends up with frank, and it kind of makes me wonder how much of what she says is truth and how much is a lie. and ooh, with bluebell and the italian aurors now on the scene i feel as though things are going to get a lot busier for poor alice. i hope that bluebell isn't guilty, but what alice said during the transcript of the first chapters was pretty damning stuff.

looking forward to the next chapter, isobel!

♥ emily

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Review #12, by BookDinosaurWhere The Wind Takes Me: The First Chapter

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hay isobel!

i'll admit it, i was a bit reluctant to come over here since i know that you write a lot of long chapters and i want to get these reviews done quickly, but in the end i couldn't give up the chance to make myself come here and r&r some of the stuff that i've been wanting to for ages. anyway. this was such an intriguing first chapter! i love that you opened it with a transcript of her interview - it's delightfully confusing and mysterious and you have to wonder whether she's only saying this because she's mad? because it's true? because she believes it, but it's ultimately false? there are so many possibilities here and i love love love all this mystery. and the actual use of the transcript as a way to tell the story - it was so creative and amazing and hooked me right away. there were so many things going on in this chapter - the revelation that alice isn't engaged to frank? the transcript, the background of katherine? this murder?? i need to read on. that's a good idea.

this is such a good intro, looking forward to reading on!

♥ emily

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Review #13, by BookDinosaurMean: The One Where There's a Confrontation

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hay kayla! :D last chapter for now!

aw, so it finally happened - they finally talked to one another! screaming would probably be a more accurate word but they are at least discussing (?) their problems with each other so at least that's a start, hopefully. i really am rooting for them to resolve their problems but if that's not possible, i just hope that lucy's brave enough to cut her ties with them. :( i wonder what on earth it could be if cara and eleanor are lying, though? i can't think of anything that might have caused them to push her away so suddenly and nastily. i'm really glad that viola seems to be opening up to lucy and maybe the two of them can become friends? and obviously, i'm so glad that james and the boys are always there for lucy. have a strong support system is so, so important. i wish that it'd come around in different circumstances but i love that lucy relies on her mother still, despite being in her last year.

i'm so glad that i finally got to read all of this, and i'm looking forward to the next update!

♥ emily

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Review #14, by BookDinosaurMean: The One Where Lucy Becomes a Confidant

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hay again kayla!

ooh, i'm honestly so glad that we're getting to see more of Aalia. it's so lovely that we're going to see more diversity through hogwarts and that you're going to explore the issues of being the only muslim in a sea of hogwartians? i really hope everything turns out well for her, though, she honestly does seem like such a nice girl. and james as well - aw bless, all that procrastinating on his sexuality ended up with this, researching in the library. it honestly sounds like something a ravenclaw would do, i think - be horrified at the lack of books on sexuality in the library and get the school to change that. and madam zeller seems so nice! at first i was a bit iffy but she honestly does seem to care about the students so much, bless her. and at the end - i'm really looking forward to seeing what she does to make this up to eleanor, because even though she's right in that eleanor doesn't exactly have a clean slate, those were some admittedly insensitive comments.

looking forward to seeing what happens next, kayla!

♥ emily

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Review #15, by BookDinosaurMean: The One Where James and Lucy Share Secrets

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hay kayla! (i've given up. you can just expect to be addressed using a food for, like, cows :P )

ugh ugh ugh so not cool of cara and eleanor to just keep cutting lucy out, honestly. i hate that they on't seem to be interested in reaching out to her or trying to talk about their issues with her, ugh. and on the one hand, i'm really glad that lucy seems to be standing up for herself, but on the other hand she should at least try to talk to them and discuss how she feels, you know? and honestly, al is a slytherin who's afraid of snakes. the irony of this kills me. i suppose a pelican's a supremely odd boggart to have as well, though? i mean, her story about trying to be eaten by one makes sense, but it's definitely a "what the heck" kind of hilarious. :P this was my favourite exchange within the chapter:

“Bruh,” he said in a gormless tone.

“Bruh,” I repeated.

This went on for several minutes.


i really enjoyed reading this!

♥ emily

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Review #16, by BookDinosaurMean: The One Where Lucy is Exhausted

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hey again, kayla! (i keep typing 'hay' and having to correct it, hah)

ugh, poor lucy, honestly. i've never been in her position, thank goodness, but hangovers sound awful, ugh. and she had to go through lessons with that! that couldn't have been good for her, and james has the best ideas, to be honest, just continuing to drink to put off the inevitable hangover. genius. (genius with a really unhealthy liver, probably, but whatevs.) and aw, the stairs moving just at that moment must have sucked for poor lucy. i'm so glad that her family was there to take care of her, she really does need them. i wonder whether lucy's right to be angry at declan or whether she was overreacting? and gosh, that teacher doesn't seem like a nice fellow but i suppose we've all had *that* teacher. :P

looking forward to reading on! (this is getting old. i need a new closing phrase)

♥ emily

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Review #17, by BookDinosaurMean: The One Where Lucy Eavesdrops

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hey again kayla! pls forgive me leaving all these awful reviews that you're going to end up having to answer :(

fave line - "Always for da lols." it just sounds so teenager-y and something i might say to my friends, you know? you've done such a good job of capturing the teenage spirit here, i think, and the interactions between all the characters seem so organic and natural. ugh there seems to be so much to talk about, tho! cara is just not nice, and just expecting your friend to pick you over their own family is actually the most selfish thing?? and declan seems to just want to go along with whatever she's saying, ugh. i wonder if eleanor really does feel the same or whether she's just going along with cara? i really loved the touch of james being interested in a guy, but at the same time still just not confident in his sexuality and branching out? i really love to see that so kudos to you for including that in this story!

looking forward to reading on!

♥ emily

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Review #18, by BookDinosaurMean: The One Where they Return to Classes

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hey again, kayla!

first things first or i'm afraid i might forget - this quote absolutely made my day. "I like being a dumb teenager. i think we all feel like that when we think about having to be an adult and yeah, that's definitely something that a dumb teenager would say :P i love lucy so much in this story! i feel like you've done a fab job creating a very real character with lucy and i feel so bad that she's going through so much rubbish with cara and eleanor not realy respecting her or appreciating her? i mean, declan is giving off creepy vibes as well to me, a little, what with asking all about cara, although i suppose that's forgivable, but what with all that sweat on his forehead i don't think i can trust him. :P and honestly, i'm just so glad that she still has james to be her friend.

looking forward to reading on!

♥ emily

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Review #19, by BookDinosaurMean: The One with the Feast

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hey kayla! me again :P

hmmph, it honestly doesn't seem very friendly of cara and eleanor to continue to cut lucy out of their group like that :/ it seems to happen so much, just rifts in friendships, and it's not touched upon very often in fanfic so even thoug i feel really bad for lucy, i'm really glad that you portrayed this issue in your story, y'know? i'm so glad that james seems to be willing to stick up for her, at least. i really really liked that you decided to include a muslim character with halal food requirements, that kind of diversity isn't seen often enough in fic so i really hope that we get to see more of her! she seemed so adorable as well :P

looking forward to reading more, kayla!

♥ emily

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Review #20, by BookDinosaurMean: The First One

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hey kayla!

ooh, i've been meaning to come and read your new story for ages now but somehow never got around to it because i am a lazy sack of potatoes? but the house cup seemed like a great way to finally, finally get started on this. :) i love how you've set this up this scenario and the characters - i think you managed to establish lucy really well, and i loved that she knows so readily that I’d rather be happy and stupid rather than miserable and a genius. she just seems like a really well-thought-out character, and i love her humour - "I left to come visit my favourite people ever. And then I came to visit you guys" i'm crying. as a first chapter, this worked really well to introduce our characters and already set up something of a conflict - i'm looking forward to reading on!

♥ emily

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Review #21, by BookDinosaurMistaken for Strangers: James Meets A Girl

19th July 2015:
Hello J! I'm here for the BvB Review Battle :D

Ooh, I don't know whether I should tell you this because I haven't reviewed, but I loved your writing style in the short story Walking On Sunshine and I really enjoyed it here as well. Your writing flowed really well and even though this was a 3k word chapter, you managed to hit that lovely balance of not seeming too short but also getting quite a lot of plot covered. That's something I admire so much, mostly because I have a lot of trouble getting my characters to stop arguing and do plotty things :P

I really love the plot idea of this! I used to be /that girl/ with her head always in a book (not anymore, though...not as much) so I really enjoyed seeing her character in this and watching James get a little more frustrated every time he met her :P It must be a little frustrating to have someone ignore you so thoroughly, poor James.

Omg, I already love the character of Fred. I love the way that you ended each section with "we're still in trouble for that thing Fred did," it was actually making me laugh and by the end I was looking forward to seeing what the next weird thing was that Fred did to land him and James in trouble. :P

I really like the character of James in this story - a lot of the time he's pretty much what Fred is in this story, the crazy prankster with no regard for rules, so it was really lovely and refreshing to see him as something of a fixer-upper who cares deeply for his family and helps them as much as he can. You bring out a different side of Gryffindor - the chivalry and caring - which I think is often glossed over in favour of their daring, you know?

This was a really well done first chapter and introduced our characters very well, as well as setting up our plot. I really enjoyed reading this!

♥ Emily

Author's Response: Thanks so much Emily! :)

Haha I'm glad you think I hit a good balance! To be honest as I keep writing the less plot happens, so it's all downhill from here. :P Thanks for your comments on Fred and James-- that's what kind of inspired this story actually. I was like "what if James just gets dragged into all this stuff and the whole time he's like 'not again Fred'" and here we are! Also your comment about Gryffindor is oddly poetic with that rhyme haha!

Thanks again Emily! Really appreciate it. :) --J


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Review #22, by BookDinosaurdanse macabre: inviolate.

18th July 2015:
LISA LISA LI SA L I S A

THIS NEEDS TO BE FIRST REVIEW. i will cry if i miss it. (curse you, erin.) but my lightning fingers have not failed me yet i can do this yes REVIEW

oh my god. oh my god ohmygod ohmygod. these are the only ways i can describe this. you remember how i told you a few days ago you should write more description? this is why. your prose is so gorgeous and i love it so much.

ahh, you know i love ginny but i suspect that i can never love her to the fiery hot degree of passion that you hold for her. i feel as though a lot of the later books and a lot of fanfic kind of ignore the trauma that she went through so early in her life, and people don't really stop to consider that this experience may have by all means shaped her that as tragic and awful and terrifying this was, it became a part of her and it influenced how she grew up later

and you explored that here so well. i kinda want you to write a full-length novel of second-year ginny sort of muddling her way through the year of dementors and trying, trying, trying not to let it get to her - failing and seeking comfort and being alive and i adore that you've explored this aspect of her character in this oneshot.

which, speaking of - this is so short, it really is. and the only complaint i have is that this is too short, that i want a novel of this out of you. i should request this novel from you. you explore her character so so well in such few words - how she felt, how she remembered tom riddle, the aftereffects of this violation of her soul.

i love that she narrows tom riddle down to objects, sensations, feelings - i love that even when he's not there, he is, because you can never really escape that. i love that there are some simple things, like a dripping tap, which never bothered her before and crawl up her spine now.

i love your prose and your despcription in this, the way that you phrase words to create an ~atmosphere. i love the way that you've explored ginny's character in this, and the way you had a look at how she might have been affected by tom riddle in her mind - it's an area of her character which is sadly untouched by canon and fanfic alike, and amazing fics like these is the first step to remedying that.

i enjoyed this story so much, lisa! thank you for writing it, you amazing human being you

♥ emily

p.s - FIRST FIRST FIRST I THINK THIS IS FIRST

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Review #23, by BookDinosaurNo Strings Attached: one.

18th July 2015:
LISA LISA LISA

i want this to be first review SO MUCH I WILL EMPLOY MY FINGERS OF LIGHTNING i hope that's enough THAT SHOULD BETTER BE ENOUGH I WANT FIRST REVIEW

but i should actually review instead of wailing at you how much i want first review. that would prolly speed things up, yeah? prolly. yes. REVIEW. LIGHTNING FINGERS.

okay so i really like this, as you have probably assumed because, um, this is you and i love all your stuff. but i really love this.

as an introduction, this is beautiful - it sets up the plot, it introduces our hapless characters and i really really love the way that you've set this story up. the humourous tone already has me hooked, and i really want to read more about how this happened and how these idiots are going to deal with this and basically yes you are perfect and your writing is perfect and i am proud to call you my fiancée.

that introduction. i can't really c&p it here bc it would be way too long, but i adore how you've introduced scorpius. i really like that you brought out the aspect of you not having to embody the house traits but simply desire them in order to be sorted into the house - that's my headcanon for how peter pettigrew was sorted, and it's something that i really don't see much in fanfic so i'm super glad that you touched on that

also i love scorpius' symbolic stirring of the ashes. he literally tried to make himself invisible in order to avoid the crowd. i love this dumb dork so much already

and i love that rose seems to be so laid back about this pregnancy. that's definitely something i've never seen before bc usually the girl is beside herself with worry - and that is an appropriate reaction, for sure, but i just loved seeing this one as well

i adore that you're turning cliches on their head with this story. i love that we're going to see a teen pregnancy, but written by LISA, so obvs it's going to break boundaries and tackle issues and basically be amazing and hilarious and i cannot wait for your next chapter to come out.

have i mentioned that i can't wait to see more albus? i cannot wait to see more albus.

♥ emily

p.s - if this review is filled with typos, you know why. my lightning fingers sometimes sacrifice precision for speed

p.p.s - YAS FIRST

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Review #24, by BookDinosaurDark Energy: Dark Energy

17th July 2015:
MALLORY. MALLORY.

before i forget, thank you for the shoutout! you are the lovliest, tbh. and also before i forget: parvavender is a lovely ship name. it sort of bounces on the tongue, if that makes sense.

but i LOVE lavender stories, especially stories which focus on how she was forced to deal with all these awful awful things that happened to her and the way she's now scarred - i don't think there are enough stories dealing with the aftermath of the battle, and with lavender in particular. i feel like people tend to dismiss her as a shallow girl of no importance and basically i'm SO GLAD that you've jumped onto the lavender train. this girl needs more love.

but aah, your writing here is beyond belief, oh my god. i could have been reading this AGES ago if i'd been a little more attentive, GAH. your writing was so smooth and beautiful and it probably would have been easy to get bogged down in small details but you never did. your writing flowed so beautifully throughout the whole story and i think you did such an amazing job telling the audience the story of a broken girl, gah. i have so many lavender feels.

and of course, i have to mention the astronomy metaphors everywhere! ugh, mallory, they were so gorgeously beautiful and i don't think i could ever express to you how perfect these are? quite honestly, this story is one of the most beautiful i've ever read. do you know how there are some times where you find a beautiful quote and you just have to kind of - sit back and appreciate it for a moment? yeah? well, this entire story is like that, and i still feel as though that description is not doing it justice.

lemme attempt to pick out some of my favourite quotes (this is impossible, btw, but).

I am the gap between the spaces, the useless, leftover, forsaken almost-nothingness suspended in time and space. I consume my world, pulling things in, warping them beyond recognition.

In those moments, I am no longer hiding in the gaps between space and time. I create them. At first contact, energy blooms between our fingertips. You, so full of life and light. Me, so devoid of the same. We are where the shadow meets the starlight, and for mere moments, we are united again.

i want to quote the whole thing back at you, and quite honestly there were about six different quotes sitting in this lil box and after much agonising, i narrowed it down to those two.

ugh, you honestly can't help but feel for poor lavender in this! i hate hate hate the way that she's so convinced that she's awful and damaging and consuming. i hate the way that the hospital keeps parvati from touching her, and i hate the way that maybe she's right about how damaging she is. i hate how she hates herself so much, and how she just wants parvati to leave her, but she wants parvati to stay as well - you've written this dichotomy so well and i just feel so awful for lavender right now, argh.

stop making me feel such angst, you evil author you.

and i know that i had two quotes only up there but i had to bring this one back. i couldn't leave it out:

Push, pull. Your hair is still a web of galaxies and I am still dark energy.

But I love you.


that was - i mean, as a way to end this, it worked so perfectly, i don't think you even know how powerful that is as an ending. you have all this conflict that lavender's experiencing about parvati and at the end of it all, she just admits i love you - i had TEARS in my eyes. :'(

you should totes write another of these (or another chapter?) where parvati and lavender help each other heal. it would be beautiful and glorious and i want it so much and you are perfect for the job. please, mallory?

sooo, i guess what you can take away from this v long and v rambly review is that this piece is heart-shatteringly, earth-breakingly gorgeous, and i love your astronomy metaphors and your prose more than words can say. i loved reading this so, so much.

♥ emily

Author's Response: EMILY THIS REVIEW IS SO LONG AND SO NICE HOW CAN I EVER RESPOND...??

your story basically inspired this one, so the shoutout was necessary and totally deserved. thanks for writing such awesome stuff. ♥

lavender is MUCH MORE than she seems to be in the books, and now that i'm on the lavender train i just can't get off. i really think that her insecurities in the books (whether explicit or implicit, because a girl who clings so tightly to a boyfriend might have a few self-image issues) would sort of come out in the aftermath of her injuries, but this time coupled with PTSD and other mental trauma. it's hard to see yourself as an invalid after you've been so healthy for most of your life, and that's the fact that lavender has to face. and she's terribly, terribly upset about it.

ahh, thank you! i feel like my writing can get really bogged down in various things, but writing both dark energy and stardust, the words just seemed to come out naturally. i really enjoyed experimenting with my style, and i'm glad that i could make something beautiful for you to enjoy reading. :)

astronomy is everywhere! tbh i'm still afraid of space, but i love making fun metaphors out of spacey terms. :D aww, all those quotes, that is so nice of you! lavender is just so down on herself and i really hate that, but it was part of the process, you know? in time, she comes away from those thoughts, though i'm sure they still haunt her now and then. thanks for pointing out those quotes. ♥

sorry for so much angst ♥ i really can't help it. ohh...i probably didn't know how powerful that ending was when i wrote it, but several people have pointed it out to me and i just can't believe that i wrote something that made people feel things. sorry for making you cry. :/

alas, i am all out of astronomy metaphors, but i really wish i could continue to tell a happier ending for their story. of course, it wouldn't be all stars and butterflies but it would show them getting better, and that's what counts? hmm, maybe i will. :)

thank you so so so so much for all of your compliments and feels and appreciation. it means so much to me, especially coming from my biggest fan. :D

♥mallory


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Review #25, by BookDinosaurActions Speak Louder than Words: Bereft: Scorpius POV

17th July 2015:
hey again, beth! this is the fourth, i believe, of the six reviews i owe you. :D i realised just after submitting the last review that i haven't actually congratulated you on winning the challenge in any of my reviews, which is probably a thing that needs to be done, so CONGRATULATIONS! ♥ i'm so silly, honestly

a kitchen accident? i feel like magically indicued accidents are probably a little hard to come by and i kind of doubt that a simple flick of the wand could case so much damage - then again, there was the story of wizard barrufio or whatever, whose mispronounciation of words ended up with buffalos on his chest, so i suppose anything is possible. the main thing you should be taking away from this paragraph is that i am a paranoid lil brat and you prolly shouldn't take anything i say seriously when i'm hypothesising. :P

"I have to use the loo - unless, of course, you want to follow me in there and accuse me of doing something untoward with the toilet.” i think that you were nominated for SOTM best quote at one point (and maybe won as well? it wouldn't surprise me) but i feel like i should congratulate you on this once again bc it took me by surprise and made me laugh. a+ well done on a quote well written

speaking of quotes that i like, i feel like i also need to congratulate you on this one - "Fred was apparently doing something downright amazing out there. i don't know whether you intended for it to be as funny as i found it but i loved it, it was the perfect way to send off this chapter. i mean, i don't even know why, but i love this so much maybe it's because i can taste the sarcasm, and i LOVE sarcasm

and once again, your flashbacks were so well integrated within the story that it didn't seem out of place or awkward at all when you shifted back to present day. i think that if i had one suggestion to make, it would be that maybe you could divide the sections by putting dates on the top of them or something, and then not making them italics? i don't know about anyone else but i found it a little uncomfortable to read italics for so long. that might just be me with my bad eyes being fussy tho, so by all means ignore this if you can't be bothered :P

awh, i love how you express the relationship between rose and scorp! i love that the hanging out which occurs between the two of them isn't a byproduct of teenage rebellion, or getting back at her dad or anything like that - i love how you chose that way to show that she cared about scorp, you know? the two of them and al seem so genuinely fond of one another and sneaking past aurors for one another is a true sign of friendship, i think.

(and just by the by, i loved that little mention of ginny knowing what they were up to but not mentioning it, haha. she's perfect and i love her)

and daphne! i don't remember whether her marrying a muggle is something jk said but i loved that too, and the poor clueless husband going "dear, there are some angry magic people in the house, pls come and deal with them" lololol

but seriously, rose almost seems like a different person in the flashback - especially when we the readers get to know her internal monologue - and this makes me even more curious to see what on earth happened to her to make her fall into this trap of self-loathing and a lack of confidence and just generally feeling broken.

this was such an interesting chapter, beth, and it was great to find out some of the past relationships and experiences that scorpius and rose have shared!

♥ emily

Author's Response: Emily!

Gah - okay this review is downright amazing! You hit on everything. EVERYTHING - all the little quips and personality traits and jokes I put into this chapter. Thanks so much.

(and yes, I'm pretty sure it's number four - :) )

You're right to question the kitchen accident. It *does* seem a bit suspicious, huh?

Yes! I think the line about toilet made me laugh harder than anything else I've ever written, but no one seemed to notice it - until it was nominated for best quote - and I'm just giggling over the fact that you even thought to include it in your review. (And the Fred quote, too!)

You're not the first reviewer to mention the italics, and I like your suggestion of including the dates - I'll look into that.

Thank you so much for your comment about Rose and Scorpius's relationship. I really, REALLY wanted it to be about something different - like you said NOT about teenage rebellion. They have a lot in common with each other - they were both sorted into houses that were different from their parents, they've both had to work through some serious personal problems at a young age, and they're both very kind, loyal and clever.

Haha - I have a feeling that not much got past Ginny Potter. She's pretty clever in her own right. Besides, you don't grow up with 6 older brothers without knowing a bit about sneaking around.

Daphne marrying a muggle is my own version. I did it because I wanted Scorpius to not have any family ties to the wizarding world. (I know that's kinda mean.) This way, Harry sees a lot of himself in Scorpius and can relate to his situation.

Yes! Rose is very different in the flashback. It gave me the opportunity to show her true personality - when she's not dealing with her PTSD. Much of the story is about her climbing her way back to her true self.

Thanks so much Emily - I can't wait to hear what you think of the other chapters!

♥ Beth


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