Reading Reviews From Member: BookDinosaur
  
307 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BookDinosaurVictoire: The Guard

30th July 2015:
Hey there! This story's been on my Reading List for yonks now, and I finally started reading it tonight but forced myself to stop at the end and review the chapter. I've promised myself that I'm going to start reviewing more stories, and since I'm counting reviews for JulNo, here I am! :D

That was kind of a terribly long introduction. I'm sorry. :P

Anyway, chapter! You said in your a/n that this was a really different style for you. I have to applaud you for trying a new style, but what I mostly wanted to say was that I really couldn't tell in this story. Your writing flowed really naturally and nothing really seemed out of place, and you've got a great grasp on the tone that you're using to tell the story, so major major kudos to you for that!

And gosh, this was such an interesting first chapter! I love that you didn't really take a time out to introduce all the characters but rather introduced them to us by showing the readers what they do in their day-to-day life. You do a great job with all the characters and even though it's only the first chapter I'm looking forward to reading more of what they do.

And oh my, that first section! I really enjoyed reading from the perspective of Cormac, and I was so sad that he was just relegated to Azkaban duty all the time. I mean, I like to think that Harry and Ron wouldn't be that nasty to someone, but Cormac was something of an arrogant nasty in canon (can you tell how good I m at coming up with 12+ insults for people? Not good), and this was a really interesting take on their characters, showing their more vengeful sides, I suppose.

Ooh, Greyback laughing while he was dying and Lucius' comments sound so forboding! I don't know what they could be on about at the moment because I'm slow and often quite dim :P but whatever it is, it can't be very good, I don't think. Wahtever it is, I'm looking forward to watching it play out and seeing how it impacts our characters in Hogwarst!

One last thing before I sign off - I really liked the extract from the newspaper. It didn't sound overly, ridiculously formal, but it wasn't too casual either, and even though it was quite a lengthy piece it didn't detract from the flow of the chapter.

I really loved this as an introductory chapter and I'm looking forward to reading more!

♥ Emily

Author's Response: Hi Emily,

Thank you so so much for this review! I've not had many readers on this story recently so hearing that you liked it really made me feel so much better about it :)

I'm so glad you enjoyed Cormac. I had so much fun writing him. He's definitely a bit of a pain in the books and I think Harry and Ron haven't forgotten that, but this is also from his perspective so they're not treating him quite as unfairly as he thinks.

I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so so much for all the lovely comments.

Emma xx


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Review #2, by BookDinosaurNo Strings Attached: two.

23rd July 2015:
LISA omg you know, i added like a hundred As after that first one but the archives does this weird thing of cutting off multiple letters for me? so if you only get a capslock of your nickname you know why, and if you get the proper shouty LISA with several As that i delivered you, i just made something of a fool of myself by explaining something that didn't need to be explained. i don't know why i care so much about you getting a proper name-shout but I DO OKAY LISA okay right reviewing

i desperately want first review again i will settle for nothing less someone help me

omg. omgomgomg SCORPIS AND ALBUS. hot damn lisa, those two, i mean, it was getting pretty hot and heavy over there for a while.

:P

i'm so bad at being serious. lemme try again

you've successfully made me want them to kinda be a couple? idk. like, i don't really know who i ship scorpius with but then if occurred to be that after being in fandoms and on tumblr and just generally on the internet, my knee-jerk reaction is to ship something when i'm presented with the option to, and taking that into account, to be honest i feel as though i woulld be fine if scorp came out of this story still single but a loving father and with two good friends, you know?

but i still totally ship all the scorbus.

i kinda think that yeah, rose might be demi, but if she has to think about it and say "in a couple of years, perhaps maybe i will love you" it might not be love, you know? i'm not sure, as i'm certainly not an expert on sexualities and romantic orientations, but i lowkey ship the scorbus as of now. we'll see where that takes me, huh?

"she’d known Scorpius since he was a skinny, asthmatic and oddly accident-prone eleven-year-old, and he could see that innocent image of him shrivel up and die in Hannah’s eyes within seconds of them arriving"

this line is absolutely pure gold, but you know what makes it even better? this follow-up line:

“and this unlikely-looking honey badger is the father".

like, omg lisa, is there any way to express to you how much i appreciate your humour? i do not think there is a way but know that i appreciate all of yo fine self

aw bless, scorpius has so much respect for rose and her uterus. like, most of this is because he's scared, but still, it's nice to see a boy going "you know what, this is your body". i mean i am obviously no expert on pregnancy issues, but i love that rose is pro-choice and doesn't know what her choice is, and scorpius is willing to do things for the baby? that was kind of very weirdly phrased, and yeah, the fact that he's willing to be a stay-at-home dad is partly because his career options are limited but it's just nic to see how they're handling this. i'm not making sense. i shall proceed

ahh, and THEY'RE KEEPING THE BABY!! yayay? it wouldn't be a pregnancy fic if they weren't keeping the baby, but i feel as though i needed to celebrate their making a decision either way.

oof, i'm really looking forward to seeing how albus reacts to this properly, because i feel as though it didn't really sink in? or maybe it did and all that pushing people up against walls was a way of hiding his emotions and idk i'll stop talking now.

and yeah, another thing i'm really interested in seeing is how hogwarts and the headmistress is going to deal with this - i mean, it must be against some sort of school rule to be having a baby while you're still in hogwarts and while rose is (probably?) overage, the governing body probably won't be pleased at this, and i'm looking forward to seeing how you deal with that :D

anyway, this has been a very long and very rambly review, as usual (i need to learn to make things concise? i really really do) but what you can take away from this is that i really enjoyed this chapter and your humour is the best humour, and also that i'm looking forward to seeing how rose's pregnancy affects everyone else :D

update soon, lisa!

♥ emily

p.s - first review? I THINK THIS IS FIRST YAS FINGERS OF LIGHTNING

Author's Response: EMILY MY DEAREST

its okay you called me LISA-- with a thousand As in spirit and i appreciate the lengthy explanation bless your soul

(also can we take a moment to appreciate me RESPONDING IMMEDIATELY TO A REVIEW?? who am i)

okay but yeah, albus and scorpius are kinda the definition of "hot and heavy" sometimes and i'm shaking my head at myself for making them like that because WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT THESE MATTERS? ZERO. ZERO THING. but idk i can't help it that these two losers have ~chemistry

the way i see it with rose is she's at that point where you kinda...~know that things are about to get Real with your feelings for someone? like it's the calm before the storm. the moment when you look at them a tad too long and you're just like "oh no, this is going to get bad for me?? soon??" so that's the sitch with Rose but i also don't know, at this point, whether it's going to be scorose or scorbus that's endgame. i know about as much as scorpius does tbh, or maybe marginally more. but only marginally

so yeah, we'll see where shipping scorbus takes you. we'll see what shipping I-HAVE-NO-IDEA-WHO'S-STEERING-THIS-SHIP gets me. its all up to you, scorpius. lead on

describing scorpius hyperion malfoy as an unlikely-looking honey badger is probably the single best line of characterisation i've ever done tbh

i struggled with that bit so much because that's more or less exactly how i feel about things and then i was like "but scorpius is a dude like he probably wouldn't conceptualise this the same way you would" and then i was "what is this GENDER BINARY BUSINESS you're subscribing to right now lisa. stop it" and then i was like "you're right, self"

albus's reaction is going to be explored more in the next chapter and yeah there's definitely an element of it-didn't-sink-in coupled with the fact that he's generally bad at dealing with stuff. i don't know a lot about this albus yet except that he's failed seventh year and is Possessive with a capital P

and re. the hogwarts thing, like, they're on their way out. they've finished NEWTs and they're more or less just sitting around waiting for the academic year to officially end so they can get on the train and leave and never come back. hogwarts won't even know, apart from hannah

you should never learn to make things concise because these reviews are a blessing to receive and you're my favourite and YES YOU'RE FIRST. FINGERS OF LIGHTNING.

ily







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Review #3, by BookDinosaurBody Builders: talkin' body, or the contract

21st July 2015:
MALLORY HAAAI

I WILL FIGHT THE WORLD FOR FIRST REVIEW I DESPERATELY WANT THIS TO BE FIRST IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR

YAY update!! this was so fast. i'm so proud of you, and so excited for the next one already

I SWEAR TO GOD YOU ARE A HUMOUR GODDESS. how how how have you not written a parody-ish weird tale before? you're so good at it. there were so many lines i just desperately need to quote back at you and laugh at because this was the best and your style of humour is officially my favourite ♥

He sighed and wiped a solitary tear from his face in mourning for the beautiful arm.
frankly, freddy's obsessions with arms and bodies is a little alarming. i mean, he seems harmless now but how long until he goes full-on mad? that would be fun to see, but still. i forget what i was talking about? i hope this madness doesn't get too mad, anyway.

You can build a soda fountain! A theme park! A model of the interior of the Vatican!
you know what? this is exactly what i would do if i had a room of requirement, and probably in that order as well. can't criticise freddy there. a++

Melisande could tell that he was about to get onto some kind of soapbox about the privacy of children and adolescents
to be fair, tho, the privacy of children and adolescents is important. i do not blame freddy for his passion on this subject. is this just a subject that he's interested in, or were his parents concerned about his obsession with arms? i wouldn't blame them if they were, but in that case i also wouldn't blame freddy for having a soapbox about this issue. i've actually managed the impressive feat of pretty much conducting a conversation with myself about hypothetical situations. i should stop now

"And it looks like Alfy has turned on the light. Maybe he’s reading the Chemistry textbook I assigned him! Oh, glorious day!”
should i be asking why he's given Alfy that name and a chemistry textbook? Where would freddy have gotten a chemistry textbook and would he understand it? these are the important questions.

My son. My moon. My stars. The light of my life.
i feel this way about my dog. i relate to freddy more than is probably healthy.

Sarcasm is not appreciated right now. It isn’t even in your job description.
this is a line i loved just for the hell of it. this is a fantastic line and i love it.

I would like to be Head of Security and Aesthetic.
THIS IS THE BEST. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

omg, tho, i need to stop parroting your words back at you and talk about story things. building bodies seems like such a unique, amazing idea that i'm surprised nobody's ever written something like this before, or at least not that i know of. it's such an amazing idea, to transfigure things into random body parts and try to Create Life - what are they giong to do once/if they Create Life? how are they going to use it? with freddy involved, probably for nefarious purposes :P but i can't wait to see where this goes, it's such a fascinating idea!

i love the way that freddy and melisande interact with each other in this chapter - a little awkwardly, but somehow both of them are just so resigned to having each other there. i think that means something, you know, because melisande could easily have spoken to the prefects anyway and freddy could have just kicked her out, but instead they're both acting as though this is unavoidable and now their working together has been settled. i just love how they're not really considering any alternatives, lolol. you write the two of them so well and their interactions are so natural and organic, it's a pleasure to read.

and melisande! omg, i expected her to be a lot more uptight about things (and to be fair, i guess she was pretty stiff at first; it was just curiosity which got the better of her) but i absolutely adore how she just jumped right in to freddy's plan and made herself a little niche that she could be in charge of - i still don't quite understand how she's going to coax the room into giving her what she wants, but i'mm looking forward to seeing what she comes up with :P

this was truly a beautiful chapter, mallory, and i'm sorry for this mess of a review :P as you can probably tell, i really loved this chapter to pieces and i'm so looking forward to seeing where you go with this fascinating plot idea and your humour goddess-ness. update soon!

♥ emily

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Review #4, by BookDinosaurWhere The Wind Takes Me: The Third Chapter

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hay again, isobel!

why are there only three chapters to this story?? :( isobel, i demand that you update. this is another reason i shouldn't have come to your ap for the hc challenge - i get addicted and there are no more chapters D': but onto the actual chapter - i'm SO INTRIGUED by this development isobel, you have no idea. i can't wait to see how everyone seems to be connected and whether these two girls are going to find out how they're related to each other. i just knnow i'm going to love watching this case play out because i love espionage-type stuff and you have such an amazing style of writing and sometimes the suspense is amazing. i'm really excited to see why these two girls were assigned to this case? because it would make sense to give mikhail more experienced partners for something like this. i'm already looking forward to the next chapter so much - this is so trippy, isobel.

please update soon! (if you do, i'll give you a better review that's actually divided into sections and with better formatting. deal?)

♥ emily

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Review #5, by BookDinosaurWhere The Wind Takes Me: The Second Chapter

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hay again, isobel! :D :D :D

i love your writing style, honestly, i have to say this. it's so smooth and lovely and if you look closely, there are things hidden in the words that you might not have seen the first time around. your/alice's style of narration is lovely and i really love how you've characterised all the people in here. i love that you're not afraid to introduce vengeful characteristics in alice, or vanity in katherin, and still have them feel like real characters going through real troubles. i'm still wondering how alice ends up with frank, and it kind of makes me wonder how much of what she says is truth and how much is a lie. and ooh, with bluebell and the italian aurors now on the scene i feel as though things are going to get a lot busier for poor alice. i hope that bluebell isn't guilty, but what alice said during the transcript of the first chapters was pretty damning stuff.

looking forward to the next chapter, isobel!

♥ emily

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Review #6, by BookDinosaurWhere The Wind Takes Me: The First Chapter

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hay isobel!

i'll admit it, i was a bit reluctant to come over here since i know that you write a lot of long chapters and i want to get these reviews done quickly, but in the end i couldn't give up the chance to make myself come here and r&r some of the stuff that i've been wanting to for ages. anyway. this was such an intriguing first chapter! i love that you opened it with a transcript of her interview - it's delightfully confusing and mysterious and you have to wonder whether she's only saying this because she's mad? because it's true? because she believes it, but it's ultimately false? there are so many possibilities here and i love love love all this mystery. and the actual use of the transcript as a way to tell the story - it was so creative and amazing and hooked me right away. there were so many things going on in this chapter - the revelation that alice isn't engaged to frank? the transcript, the background of katherine? this murder?? i need to read on. that's a good idea.

this is such a good intro, looking forward to reading on!

♥ emily

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Review #7, by BookDinosaurMean: The One Where There's a Confrontation

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hay kayla! :D last chapter for now!

aw, so it finally happened - they finally talked to one another! screaming would probably be a more accurate word but they are at least discussing (?) their problems with each other so at least that's a start, hopefully. i really am rooting for them to resolve their problems but if that's not possible, i just hope that lucy's brave enough to cut her ties with them. :( i wonder what on earth it could be if cara and eleanor are lying, though? i can't think of anything that might have caused them to push her away so suddenly and nastily. i'm really glad that viola seems to be opening up to lucy and maybe the two of them can become friends? and obviously, i'm so glad that james and the boys are always there for lucy. have a strong support system is so, so important. i wish that it'd come around in different circumstances but i love that lucy relies on her mother still, despite being in her last year.

i'm so glad that i finally got to read all of this, and i'm looking forward to the next update!

♥ emily

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Review #8, by BookDinosaurMean: The One Where Lucy Becomes a Confidant

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hay again kayla!

ooh, i'm honestly so glad that we're getting to see more of Aalia. it's so lovely that we're going to see more diversity through hogwarts and that you're going to explore the issues of being the only muslim in a sea of hogwartians? i really hope everything turns out well for her, though, she honestly does seem like such a nice girl. and james as well - aw bless, all that procrastinating on his sexuality ended up with this, researching in the library. it honestly sounds like something a ravenclaw would do, i think - be horrified at the lack of books on sexuality in the library and get the school to change that. and madam zeller seems so nice! at first i was a bit iffy but she honestly does seem to care about the students so much, bless her. and at the end - i'm really looking forward to seeing what she does to make this up to eleanor, because even though she's right in that eleanor doesn't exactly have a clean slate, those were some admittedly insensitive comments.

looking forward to seeing what happens next, kayla!

♥ emily

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Review #9, by BookDinosaurMean: The One Where James and Lucy Share Secrets

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hay kayla! (i've given up. you can just expect to be addressed using a food for, like, cows :P )

ugh ugh ugh so not cool of cara and eleanor to just keep cutting lucy out, honestly. i hate that they on't seem to be interested in reaching out to her or trying to talk about their issues with her, ugh. and on the one hand, i'm really glad that lucy seems to be standing up for herself, but on the other hand she should at least try to talk to them and discuss how she feels, you know? and honestly, al is a slytherin who's afraid of snakes. the irony of this kills me. i suppose a pelican's a supremely odd boggart to have as well, though? i mean, her story about trying to be eaten by one makes sense, but it's definitely a "what the heck" kind of hilarious. :P this was my favourite exchange within the chapter:

“Bruh,” he said in a gormless tone.

“Bruh,” I repeated.

This went on for several minutes.


i really enjoyed reading this!

♥ emily

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Review #10, by BookDinosaurMean: The One Where Lucy is Exhausted

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hey again, kayla! (i keep typing 'hay' and having to correct it, hah)

ugh, poor lucy, honestly. i've never been in her position, thank goodness, but hangovers sound awful, ugh. and she had to go through lessons with that! that couldn't have been good for her, and james has the best ideas, to be honest, just continuing to drink to put off the inevitable hangover. genius. (genius with a really unhealthy liver, probably, but whatevs.) and aw, the stairs moving just at that moment must have sucked for poor lucy. i'm so glad that her family was there to take care of her, she really does need them. i wonder whether lucy's right to be angry at declan or whether she was overreacting? and gosh, that teacher doesn't seem like a nice fellow but i suppose we've all had *that* teacher. :P

looking forward to reading on! (this is getting old. i need a new closing phrase)

♥ emily

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Review #11, by BookDinosaurMean: The One Where Lucy Eavesdrops

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hey again kayla! pls forgive me leaving all these awful reviews that you're going to end up having to answer :(

fave line - "Always for da lols." it just sounds so teenager-y and something i might say to my friends, you know? you've done such a good job of capturing the teenage spirit here, i think, and the interactions between all the characters seem so organic and natural. ugh there seems to be so much to talk about, tho! cara is just not nice, and just expecting your friend to pick you over their own family is actually the most selfish thing?? and declan seems to just want to go along with whatever she's saying, ugh. i wonder if eleanor really does feel the same or whether she's just going along with cara? i really loved the touch of james being interested in a guy, but at the same time still just not confident in his sexuality and branching out? i really love to see that so kudos to you for including that in this story!

looking forward to reading on!

♥ emily

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Review #12, by BookDinosaurMean: The One Where they Return to Classes

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hey again, kayla!

first things first or i'm afraid i might forget - this quote absolutely made my day. "I like being a dumb teenager. i think we all feel like that when we think about having to be an adult and yeah, that's definitely something that a dumb teenager would say :P i love lucy so much in this story! i feel like you've done a fab job creating a very real character with lucy and i feel so bad that she's going through so much rubbish with cara and eleanor not realy respecting her or appreciating her? i mean, declan is giving off creepy vibes as well to me, a little, what with asking all about cara, although i suppose that's forgivable, but what with all that sweat on his forehead i don't think i can trust him. :P and honestly, i'm just so glad that she still has james to be her friend.

looking forward to reading on!

♥ emily

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Review #13, by BookDinosaurMean: The One with the Feast

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hey kayla! me again :P

hmmph, it honestly doesn't seem very friendly of cara and eleanor to continue to cut lucy out of their group like that :/ it seems to happen so much, just rifts in friendships, and it's not touched upon very often in fanfic so even thoug i feel really bad for lucy, i'm really glad that you portrayed this issue in your story, y'know? i'm so glad that james seems to be willing to stick up for her, at least. i really really liked that you decided to include a muslim character with halal food requirements, that kind of diversity isn't seen often enough in fic so i really hope that we get to see more of her! she seemed so adorable as well :P

looking forward to reading more, kayla!

♥ emily

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Review #14, by BookDinosaurMean: The First One

20th July 2015:
house cup 2015 - ravenclaw

hey kayla!

ooh, i've been meaning to come and read your new story for ages now but somehow never got around to it because i am a lazy sack of potatoes? but the house cup seemed like a great way to finally, finally get started on this. :) i love how you've set this up this scenario and the characters - i think you managed to establish lucy really well, and i loved that she knows so readily that I’d rather be happy and stupid rather than miserable and a genius. she just seems like a really well-thought-out character, and i love her humour - "I left to come visit my favourite people ever. And then I came to visit you guys" i'm crying. as a first chapter, this worked really well to introduce our characters and already set up something of a conflict - i'm looking forward to reading on!

♥ emily

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Review #15, by BookDinosaurMistaken for Strangers: James Meets A Girl

19th July 2015:
Hello J! I'm here for the BvB Review Battle :D

Ooh, I don't know whether I should tell you this because I haven't reviewed, but I loved your writing style in the short story Walking On Sunshine and I really enjoyed it here as well. Your writing flowed really well and even though this was a 3k word chapter, you managed to hit that lovely balance of not seeming too short but also getting quite a lot of plot covered. That's something I admire so much, mostly because I have a lot of trouble getting my characters to stop arguing and do plotty things :P

I really love the plot idea of this! I used to be /that girl/ with her head always in a book (not anymore, though...not as much) so I really enjoyed seeing her character in this and watching James get a little more frustrated every time he met her :P It must be a little frustrating to have someone ignore you so thoroughly, poor James.

Omg, I already love the character of Fred. I love the way that you ended each section with "we're still in trouble for that thing Fred did," it was actually making me laugh and by the end I was looking forward to seeing what the next weird thing was that Fred did to land him and James in trouble. :P

I really like the character of James in this story - a lot of the time he's pretty much what Fred is in this story, the crazy prankster with no regard for rules, so it was really lovely and refreshing to see him as something of a fixer-upper who cares deeply for his family and helps them as much as he can. You bring out a different side of Gryffindor - the chivalry and caring - which I think is often glossed over in favour of their daring, you know?

This was a really well done first chapter and introduced our characters very well, as well as setting up our plot. I really enjoyed reading this!

♥ Emily

Author's Response: Thanks so much Emily! :)

Haha I'm glad you think I hit a good balance! To be honest as I keep writing the less plot happens, so it's all downhill from here. :P Thanks for your comments on Fred and James-- that's what kind of inspired this story actually. I was like "what if James just gets dragged into all this stuff and the whole time he's like 'not again Fred'" and here we are! Also your comment about Gryffindor is oddly poetic with that rhyme haha!

Thanks again Emily! Really appreciate it. :) --J


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Review #16, by BookDinosaurdanse macabre: inviolate.

18th July 2015:
LISA LISA LI SA L I S A

THIS NEEDS TO BE FIRST REVIEW. i will cry if i miss it. (curse you, erin.) but my lightning fingers have not failed me yet i can do this yes REVIEW

oh my god. oh my god ohmygod ohmygod. these are the only ways i can describe this. you remember how i told you a few days ago you should write more description? this is why. your prose is so gorgeous and i love it so much.

ahh, you know i love ginny but i suspect that i can never love her to the fiery hot degree of passion that you hold for her. i feel as though a lot of the later books and a lot of fanfic kind of ignore the trauma that she went through so early in her life, and people don't really stop to consider that this experience may have by all means shaped her that as tragic and awful and terrifying this was, it became a part of her and it influenced how she grew up later

and you explored that here so well. i kinda want you to write a full-length novel of second-year ginny sort of muddling her way through the year of dementors and trying, trying, trying not to let it get to her - failing and seeking comfort and being alive and i adore that you've explored this aspect of her character in this oneshot.

which, speaking of - this is so short, it really is. and the only complaint i have is that this is too short, that i want a novel of this out of you. i should request this novel from you. you explore her character so so well in such few words - how she felt, how she remembered tom riddle, the aftereffects of this violation of her soul.

i love that she narrows tom riddle down to objects, sensations, feelings - i love that even when he's not there, he is, because you can never really escape that. i love that there are some simple things, like a dripping tap, which never bothered her before and crawl up her spine now.

i love your prose and your despcription in this, the way that you phrase words to create an ~atmosphere. i love the way that you've explored ginny's character in this, and the way you had a look at how she might have been affected by tom riddle in her mind - it's an area of her character which is sadly untouched by canon and fanfic alike, and amazing fics like these is the first step to remedying that.

i enjoyed this story so much, lisa! thank you for writing it, you amazing human being you

♥ emily

p.s - FIRST FIRST FIRST I THINK THIS IS FIRST

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Review #17, by BookDinosaurNo Strings Attached: one.

18th July 2015:
LISA LISA LISA

i want this to be first review SO MUCH I WILL EMPLOY MY FINGERS OF LIGHTNING i hope that's enough THAT SHOULD BETTER BE ENOUGH I WANT FIRST REVIEW

but i should actually review instead of wailing at you how much i want first review. that would prolly speed things up, yeah? prolly. yes. REVIEW. LIGHTNING FINGERS.

okay so i really like this, as you have probably assumed because, um, this is you and i love all your stuff. but i really love this.

as an introduction, this is beautiful - it sets up the plot, it introduces our hapless characters and i really really love the way that you've set this story up. the humourous tone already has me hooked, and i really want to read more about how this happened and how these idiots are going to deal with this and basically yes you are perfect and your writing is perfect and i am proud to call you my fiancée.

that introduction. i can't really c&p it here bc it would be way too long, but i adore how you've introduced scorpius. i really like that you brought out the aspect of you not having to embody the house traits but simply desire them in order to be sorted into the house - that's my headcanon for how peter pettigrew was sorted, and it's something that i really don't see much in fanfic so i'm super glad that you touched on that

also i love scorpius' symbolic stirring of the ashes. he literally tried to make himself invisible in order to avoid the crowd. i love this dumb dork so much already

and i love that rose seems to be so laid back about this pregnancy. that's definitely something i've never seen before bc usually the girl is beside herself with worry - and that is an appropriate reaction, for sure, but i just loved seeing this one as well

i adore that you're turning cliches on their head with this story. i love that we're going to see a teen pregnancy, but written by LISA, so obvs it's going to break boundaries and tackle issues and basically be amazing and hilarious and i cannot wait for your next chapter to come out.

have i mentioned that i can't wait to see more albus? i cannot wait to see more albus.

♥ emily

p.s - if this review is filled with typos, you know why. my lightning fingers sometimes sacrifice precision for speed

p.p.s - YAS FIRST

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Review #18, by BookDinosaurDark Energy: Dark Energy

17th July 2015:
MALLORY. MALLORY.

before i forget, thank you for the shoutout! you are the lovliest, tbh. and also before i forget: parvavender is a lovely ship name. it sort of bounces on the tongue, if that makes sense.

but i LOVE lavender stories, especially stories which focus on how she was forced to deal with all these awful awful things that happened to her and the way she's now scarred - i don't think there are enough stories dealing with the aftermath of the battle, and with lavender in particular. i feel like people tend to dismiss her as a shallow girl of no importance and basically i'm SO GLAD that you've jumped onto the lavender train. this girl needs more love.

but aah, your writing here is beyond belief, oh my god. i could have been reading this AGES ago if i'd been a little more attentive, GAH. your writing was so smooth and beautiful and it probably would have been easy to get bogged down in small details but you never did. your writing flowed so beautifully throughout the whole story and i think you did such an amazing job telling the audience the story of a broken girl, gah. i have so many lavender feels.

and of course, i have to mention the astronomy metaphors everywhere! ugh, mallory, they were so gorgeously beautiful and i don't think i could ever express to you how perfect these are? quite honestly, this story is one of the most beautiful i've ever read. do you know how there are some times where you find a beautiful quote and you just have to kind of - sit back and appreciate it for a moment? yeah? well, this entire story is like that, and i still feel as though that description is not doing it justice.

lemme attempt to pick out some of my favourite quotes (this is impossible, btw, but).

I am the gap between the spaces, the useless, leftover, forsaken almost-nothingness suspended in time and space. I consume my world, pulling things in, warping them beyond recognition.

In those moments, I am no longer hiding in the gaps between space and time. I create them. At first contact, energy blooms between our fingertips. You, so full of life and light. Me, so devoid of the same. We are where the shadow meets the starlight, and for mere moments, we are united again.

i want to quote the whole thing back at you, and quite honestly there were about six different quotes sitting in this lil box and after much agonising, i narrowed it down to those two.

ugh, you honestly can't help but feel for poor lavender in this! i hate hate hate the way that she's so convinced that she's awful and damaging and consuming. i hate the way that the hospital keeps parvati from touching her, and i hate the way that maybe she's right about how damaging she is. i hate how she hates herself so much, and how she just wants parvati to leave her, but she wants parvati to stay as well - you've written this dichotomy so well and i just feel so awful for lavender right now, argh.

stop making me feel such angst, you evil author you.

and i know that i had two quotes only up there but i had to bring this one back. i couldn't leave it out:

Push, pull. Your hair is still a web of galaxies and I am still dark energy.

But I love you.


that was - i mean, as a way to end this, it worked so perfectly, i don't think you even know how powerful that is as an ending. you have all this conflict that lavender's experiencing about parvati and at the end of it all, she just admits i love you - i had TEARS in my eyes. :'(

you should totes write another of these (or another chapter?) where parvati and lavender help each other heal. it would be beautiful and glorious and i want it so much and you are perfect for the job. please, mallory?

sooo, i guess what you can take away from this v long and v rambly review is that this piece is heart-shatteringly, earth-breakingly gorgeous, and i love your astronomy metaphors and your prose more than words can say. i loved reading this so, so much.

♥ emily

Author's Response: EMILY THIS REVIEW IS SO LONG AND SO NICE HOW CAN I EVER RESPOND...??

your story basically inspired this one, so the shoutout was necessary and totally deserved. thanks for writing such awesome stuff. ♥

lavender is MUCH MORE than she seems to be in the books, and now that i'm on the lavender train i just can't get off. i really think that her insecurities in the books (whether explicit or implicit, because a girl who clings so tightly to a boyfriend might have a few self-image issues) would sort of come out in the aftermath of her injuries, but this time coupled with PTSD and other mental trauma. it's hard to see yourself as an invalid after you've been so healthy for most of your life, and that's the fact that lavender has to face. and she's terribly, terribly upset about it.

ahh, thank you! i feel like my writing can get really bogged down in various things, but writing both dark energy and stardust, the words just seemed to come out naturally. i really enjoyed experimenting with my style, and i'm glad that i could make something beautiful for you to enjoy reading. :)

astronomy is everywhere! tbh i'm still afraid of space, but i love making fun metaphors out of spacey terms. :D aww, all those quotes, that is so nice of you! lavender is just so down on herself and i really hate that, but it was part of the process, you know? in time, she comes away from those thoughts, though i'm sure they still haunt her now and then. thanks for pointing out those quotes. ♥

sorry for so much angst ♥ i really can't help it. ohh...i probably didn't know how powerful that ending was when i wrote it, but several people have pointed it out to me and i just can't believe that i wrote something that made people feel things. sorry for making you cry. :/

alas, i am all out of astronomy metaphors, but i really wish i could continue to tell a happier ending for their story. of course, it wouldn't be all stars and butterflies but it would show them getting better, and that's what counts? hmm, maybe i will. :)

thank you so so so so much for all of your compliments and feels and appreciation. it means so much to me, especially coming from my biggest fan. :D

♥mallory


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Review #19, by BookDinosaurActions Speak Louder than Words: Bereft: Scorpius POV

17th July 2015:
hey again, beth! this is the fourth, i believe, of the six reviews i owe you. :D i realised just after submitting the last review that i haven't actually congratulated you on winning the challenge in any of my reviews, which is probably a thing that needs to be done, so CONGRATULATIONS! ♥ i'm so silly, honestly

a kitchen accident? i feel like magically indicued accidents are probably a little hard to come by and i kind of doubt that a simple flick of the wand could case so much damage - then again, there was the story of wizard barrufio or whatever, whose mispronounciation of words ended up with buffalos on his chest, so i suppose anything is possible. the main thing you should be taking away from this paragraph is that i am a paranoid lil brat and you prolly shouldn't take anything i say seriously when i'm hypothesising. :P

"I have to use the loo - unless, of course, you want to follow me in there and accuse me of doing something untoward with the toilet.” i think that you were nominated for SOTM best quote at one point (and maybe won as well? it wouldn't surprise me) but i feel like i should congratulate you on this once again bc it took me by surprise and made me laugh. a+ well done on a quote well written

speaking of quotes that i like, i feel like i also need to congratulate you on this one - "Fred was apparently doing something downright amazing out there. i don't know whether you intended for it to be as funny as i found it but i loved it, it was the perfect way to send off this chapter. i mean, i don't even know why, but i love this so much maybe it's because i can taste the sarcasm, and i LOVE sarcasm

and once again, your flashbacks were so well integrated within the story that it didn't seem out of place or awkward at all when you shifted back to present day. i think that if i had one suggestion to make, it would be that maybe you could divide the sections by putting dates on the top of them or something, and then not making them italics? i don't know about anyone else but i found it a little uncomfortable to read italics for so long. that might just be me with my bad eyes being fussy tho, so by all means ignore this if you can't be bothered :P

awh, i love how you express the relationship between rose and scorp! i love that the hanging out which occurs between the two of them isn't a byproduct of teenage rebellion, or getting back at her dad or anything like that - i love how you chose that way to show that she cared about scorp, you know? the two of them and al seem so genuinely fond of one another and sneaking past aurors for one another is a true sign of friendship, i think.

(and just by the by, i loved that little mention of ginny knowing what they were up to but not mentioning it, haha. she's perfect and i love her)

and daphne! i don't remember whether her marrying a muggle is something jk said but i loved that too, and the poor clueless husband going "dear, there are some angry magic people in the house, pls come and deal with them" lololol

but seriously, rose almost seems like a different person in the flashback - especially when we the readers get to know her internal monologue - and this makes me even more curious to see what on earth happened to her to make her fall into this trap of self-loathing and a lack of confidence and just generally feeling broken.

this was such an interesting chapter, beth, and it was great to find out some of the past relationships and experiences that scorpius and rose have shared!

♥ emily

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Review #20, by BookDinosaurActions Speak Louder than Words: Blown Away: Scorpius POV

17th July 2015:
hey again, beth! this is just proving to myself that i don't have to be remarkably late with everything. i said by the end of this week i'd be back, and i am! :D are you not proud of me right now? i'm so proud of myself to be honest :P

ANYWAY. i actually cannot shut up i am the worst i'm sorry REVIEW. YES OKAY

it was really interesting to see a bit of the story from the POV of Scorpius! i mean, i love how you've written him and i can harly believe that this is your first story. within the space of a couple of chapters, you've established Scorpius and Rose both as different narrators with their own voices and perspectives - everyone sees things differently because of their past experiences and perspective and you did an amazing job showing that through the differences in narration between Scorpius and Rose.

i really liked the flashback that you showed the audience, as well! it was an amazing way to contrast rose and scorpius as narrators - she doesn't think of the past AT ALL, and in an opposite fashion, he goes through flashbacks where he relives his past, you know? i don't know whether that was meant to stress the different between the two so intensely, but it was a really nice touch and it did an amazing job establishing that these two are very different narrators within such a short space.

but the actual flashback! i need to talk about this as well. i was wondering about draco's reluctance to let scorpius play something as simple as football - i mean, he's definitely smart enough not to be that obvious in his bigotry, to be honest - but now i'm sort of getting the feeling that draco was trying to protect scorpius?

it made me so sad when scorpius said obviously the rumors going around Hogwarts were true. i mean, it prolly shouldn't affect me that much but the thought that there are still pernicious rumours floating around hogwarts about scorpius' family despite the fact that he's presumably done nothing for years and has generally prolly made sure to be as unoffensive as possible bc he learnt his lesson - it makes me sad, but it's probably realistic. :(

and before we dive into the actual content of the flashbacks i just want to congratulate you on how smoothly integrated the flashbacks are within the chapter. it's so easy to make the flashbacks seem weird and awkwardly placed weithin the text but these seemed very naturally placed. it followed scorpius' train of thought and just generally made sense so kudos to you there

now, the actual content of the flashbacks - i feel like this was absolutely terribly timed for poor scorp. thankfully i haven't been in this situation but i imagine that an argument like that being the last way that you interacted with your parents; that would leave you with a massive case of guilt, eurgh. :/ poor scorpius, honestly. and why were his parents like that? honestly, that's such an awful way to find them and a terrible way for them to die, and even though it looks more like a cooking accident than anything else i'm suspecting foul play bc i am PARANOID and DO NOT TRUST ANYONE.

also, before i sign off, i have to talk about the section at the top as well - it's honestly so lovely to see that scorpius seems to like and feel for rose the same way she likes and feels for him, you know? as i said in a previous review, it sets up for a HEALTHY and BALANCED relationship and i am a BIG FAN OF THIS.

alright this rambled on for far too long, honestly, i'm running out of characters, but this chapter was a really interesting insight into Scorpius' mind and his past and I really loved reading about him!

♥ emily

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Review #21, by BookDinosaurActions Speak Louder than Words: Bent: Rose POV

15th July 2015:
beth!! here for the second of the six challenge reviews that i desperately, desperately owe you. again, i'm so so sorry for the delay

oh my goodness, beth this was an action-packed chapter. ic certainly don't think it was too long, but you managed to get a lot to happen within this chapter! i mean, my characters stop and argue for, like, 3k words and my chapters never go anywhere so major props to you for doing good writer stuff like advancing the plot and moving the story along. you know, all that stuff you seem to do so effortlessly while i'm stuck trying to stop my characters from arguing. anyway, sorry sorry. off topic. i'm the worst reviewer, honestly. i need someone to hit me with a bread roll when i start going off topic.

anyway, plotty stuff. do you see what i mean when i say i respect you for moving your plot along? i can't even move this darned review along, honestly. i suck

your characterisation of rose in this chapter only got stronger than before, to be honest. i love that she was/is close enough to her family that she can joke around with scorpius about how they're probably acting at this party, and at the same time she's just hiding in the corner trying to bury herself away from the loudness and craziness of the party, you know? it seems like a bi of a paradox that she's laughing outside and so scared inside, but it's so realistic and i love it so much.

i really love the way that you've subverting stereotypes and cliches with the situations that you present in this chapter. a lot of the time in next-gen fics, fred or james are throwing wild partiezzz everywhere and the main female oc is like "omg. i'm so awkward. what do i do" and then she goes out and has a good time, you know? but you did a really great job of turning that trope on its head and actually narrating the party from someone who's really nervous and a little scared of being there.

ooh, and we're already getting some touches of scorose!! eyyy :D i love this so much already; how you're not trying to rush it, but they already have a healthy relationship with one another, and i love the way that the two of them were able to joke around together, and you did a really good job with the narration as well because rose's narration immediately seemed more at ease when scorpius was with her and she just seemed more relaxed and that was lovely and i was so happy for her ♥ i also really love that scorpius seems to understand what rose needs and takes her to a quiet place after she's so shocked and sort of in panic mode, you know? he respects her and understands her and that is the basis for an amazing healthy beautiful relationship that's going to be sunshine and rainbows. i can nearly taste it

except for that weird creep who just randomly shows up? how can someone apparate while they're under a body bind curse? i don't understand that but i'm sure it's going to be explained later on, and my guess is that we're going to be seeing more of this creep, oh dear :/ that may get in the way of the sunshine and rainbows

anyway, beth this chapter did a fantastic job of moving the plot along and i have mad respect for you for that. i really enjoyed reading this and whil i don't think i'm going to have time to leave the other four reviews for you tonight, i SWEAR that they well be done by the end of the week. that is a promise

♥ emily

Author's Response: Hi Emily!

No worries!

Eep - it was so *awesome* to wake up to these reviews! Thank you so much. I'm glad you feel that the story is moving along. Like I mentioned in my author's note on the first chapter, this is the very first thing I've written, ever (other than required school assignments). So to be totally honest, I had/have no idea what I'm doing. I just knew I had a story inside me and I began to write it, but I'm really glad that you feel it's flowing well. I didn't want to pace it too fast and I was worried that things were moving a bit too slowly. Thank you for alleviating my fears with that :)

Thanks so much!

♥ Beth


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Review #22, by BookDinosaurActions Speak Louder than Words: Broken: Rose POV

15th July 2015:
beth!! so i am a terrible awful officially the absolute worst person in the world, but i recently hit myself over the head because i realised that i still owe you challenge reviews from the songfic challenge that was actually AGES go. i'm legit the worst and you have every right to shout at me until you're blue in the face. i'm so sorry

but the story! onto the actual story and not padding out this review with long apologies. i don't think that i can say much that hasn't already been said (you have 59, soon to be 60, reviews on this chapter. if i have anything unique to say it will be a miracle) but i will do my best. also, since this story is up to 34 chapters you should totes appreciate the fact that i'm going to be reviewing the six chapters with no idea what's going on. so if you have a twist in there, or a reveal, i'm going to document my genuine shock and it will hopefully be a breath of fresh air from all the Chapter 34 reviews that you're getting.

i'm not making any sense, am i? and i'm absolutely awful at staying on topic. i'm sorry, i'm sorry. lemme try this again

this was a really amazing first chapter. it does a really fab job of introducing rose as our main character and setting up the conflict that i presume is going to be taking place throughout the story, with rose struggling with what sounds like ptsd and trying to get over this awful thing that happened to her.

i love the darker tone that you've decided to adopt with this story, and i love the hints of trauma and ptsd that you've thrown in. you've never tried to preach to the audience and tell them that something is very wrong with rose; instead you've shown that through a panic attack and her thoughts, and i really really appreciate that.

i'm going to say this - well, not upfront since this is prolly hidden deep inside my weird rambling review, but i'm going to say that first person narration doesn't always work out. it's really tricky to try and get inside a character's head and narrate from their point of view, especially when they're going through a tough time, but i think that you pulled it off really well and established rose's voice within this one chapter without it sounding like an author's narration, so really well done there, beth

and the ptsd - it establishes really early on that rose is a flawed character and that she can fall into the trap of self hate which, while not a good thing, is something which does a fantastic job of establishing her character in a really strong way within just this first chapter.

i love the way that you've handled ptsd and trauma in this. again, it's just the first chapter but it's really strong and does leave a really good impression on the reader. while i've never had ptsd myself, the whole thing rose had about focusing on something realy helps with my anxiety and i love love loved that you never implied that rose was a broken or incomplete person just because she's been through something terrible and didn't come out of it unscathed, you know? she's still a person, and she's still struggling and trying to get back to normal, and i think what i'm trying to say here is that i really appreciated the respectful way you handled ptsd in this chapter.

basically, rose if i made any sense at all in this review and you managed to understand any of it you are a miracle, but what you can take away from this really rambly review is that i really enjoyed this first chapter and am looking forward to reading more. once again, i'm so so sorry for the delay that it took to get these reviews to you!

♥ emily

Author's Response: Haha Emily - no worries!

I really wasn't worried about it - but I can't tell you how silly happy the smile is on my face right now. Thanks so much for this :D

I'm literally giggling over this review. I know that I have quite a few on this chapter (and if you wanted to read and leave reviews after a few chapters, that's fine with me as well - but don't feel any pressure).

The reason I'm so happy is that you seem to notice every little detail I tried to put in this opening chapter. My whole concept with this story is that I think the Next-gen kids would have their own "Voldemort" to fight - so look out for that as the story unfolds.

I also wanted to be very, very sensitive to the PTSD and I really worried over that a bit - but thanks for letting me know that you felt it was handled delicately. At this point in the story, Rose hasn't been totally honest with her family about her torture during her kidnapping - and they were all so happy to have her back, they didn't dig too deep.

Thanks again Emily!

♥ Beth


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Review #23, by BookDinosaurBody Builders: body language, or the beginning

14th July 2015:
MALLORY HAI HAI HAI NEW STORY I'M SO EXCITED

this gives me two wips of yours to obsess over and leave awful rambly reviews on! the day has arrived. my life is complete

(i'm very sorry for the delay it took me to deliver this review. i actually do have an exuse this time, though - dog-walking & my flute. music practice dragged on for a while longer than i anticipated.) (i should be helping with PERCY over on the forums but i just had to swing by and leave a review first because i don't want someone else to get first review on this lovely story)

but seriously, YAYAY for you starting a new story! i'm so excited to see where this one's going to go. it already seems like a much lighter read than PFK, but then vague necrophilia and frankenstein-ish situations don't exactly lend themselves to fluff and humour, do they? so i'm super excited to see which tone this story's going to adopt - i'm sure that whatever way you do write this story, it's going to be magnificent, and i'm going to fight the world for first review. 8D

and ooh, mallory, are you going to try a different style of posting with this story? post-as-you-write sounds good to me, hint hint :P i just want each chapter as fast as i can. i'm shameless

but now onto plotty things! i love the duo that you've created here, with fred kind of...not giving malisande a choice when it comes to being his assistant? i can just imagine how much the two of them are going to clash with one another, with melisande's standoffish approach to things and the way she's a bit uptight and prim, compared to the mad scientist vibes that fred's giving out at the moment. :P i can't wait to see the two of them and the way that they interact with one another in future chapters!

and also, can i mention: fred tesla weasley. his middle name is FABULOUS and i love it. i hope you'll eventually give us the reason his middle name is tesla, lol.

but i love the way that you're subverting typical cliches with fred's character. he always seems to be a pranking genius in every story that i read him in, so it's actually so so refreshing to see that in this story he's a ravenclaw and withdrawn and talks to inanimate objects, you know? it's beautifully different and i can't wait to see you write more of this and where it ends up going.

i'm kind of failing at talking about the plot, all that was character stuff, oops. lemme try again: i love that you show that the damage that was done to the room of requirement with the fire, and i really really like that it was a closely guarded secret rather than broadcasted to everyone and turned into a rav locations, as seems to happen so often in next-gen fics, you feel? you are the master of subverting tropes.

this chapter served really well as a lead-in to the rest of your story, introducing the two lead characters and giving the readers a taste of what's going to come. i cannot wait for future chapters, so prepare yourself for a lot of whingeing in the cabin >:D

"that would doom her to a life of interesting times." of course melisande would view interesting times as doom. of course. :P

anyway, i really loved this chapter and, as you probably know because i've reiterated it so many times, i cannot wait for you to update so i can see where this goes. i enjoyed this so much, mallory!

♥ emily

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Review #24, by BookDinosaurL'optimisme: Wales

13th July 2015:
Laura! here for our review swap and i am so late. so. late. it's not like i even have a good excuse? i'm so sorry. and oh my days have i not reviewed this before? i honestly thought i already had, but that's okay, i can make up for both of those transgressions now, hopefully :)

oh my days, i don't think i can ever say this enough laura, but your prose and descriptions are so gorgeous and beautiful and how do you do this please teach me your ways? i honestly don't know how you write with such a beautiful flowing style and i'm sure that you're sick of me telling you this (over and over and over, in every review that i've ever left for you, probably) but i can't not say it. your writing is the most beautiful thing.

i wasn't expecting that you would ever turn to gellert's POV, and i'm not sure what i was expecting but i don't think it was this - you created a complex and sympathetic character from the one-dimensional figure which we saw in canon while not actually contradicting canon.

i love love love this quote: Without you, I do not remember the places. Make of that what you will. as i said, i don't know what i was expecting with gellert, but i don't think that i ever expected him to have adored albus as clearly and as much as he does in this fic - you show the reader that this is a love which went both ways, and it was situation and belief which eventually separated them. i think that is am example of the saddest breakups of all - how they loved each other, and it was external forces which separated them.

the kiss that you wrote was so beautiful. you conveyed the emotion that the two of them so well and so powerfully, and painted such a vivid picture with your beautiful description - seriously, laura, teach me your ways! D:

i love the slightly darker tone that gellert adopts at the end. does this mean he knows who killed ariana? i'm so glad you touched on his thoughts when it concerned ariana's death, though, b ecause i don't think people expect him to have thbought about it much in future years or been remorseful at all, and it was very interesting to see his thoughts on the matter.

the spilt-pov technique that you employed to tell the story works really well; i don't know how but you've managed to create two very different voices just from these two chapters - how albus thinks more about words, more rationally, and how gellert is a person of action, someone who becomes enchanted with and then bored with a place in quick succession, you know?

i don't know how much of this made sense and how much was weird rambling, but i really, really loved this chapter and hopefully i'll be back to review more of this!

♥ emily

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Review #25, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: Stolen Kisses, Stale Memories

13th July 2015:
HAI HAI HAI

This chapter has been posted today because of Emily/Book Dinosaur, because she keeps begging me to post it. i am so proud right now, mallory, and in love. ♥ are you not glad that we're in the same cabin? you are the best and tHIS BETTER BE FIRST REVIEW. if someone else snuck in here while i wasn't home :'(

first things first (i'm the realest; kidding, kidding. i'm sorry) i absolutely LOVE the way that you integrate flashbacks into this chapter. it's really easy to have the transition between your flashbacks and present tense sections become stilted and awkward but you pulled it off with the ease of a master. teach me your skills, pretty please?

and now diving into the actually relevant chapter stuff: oh my days, every time you reveal more of annie's backstory i feel more and more sorry for her. :'( ugh, that must have been so awful, to be stuck under the mistletoe with your bully, and i'm pretty sure that if annie had a choice she would have stood there until someone else came along. :/

but that brings us to james - does he like annie? when did that happen? i know that a popular thing that people tell each other is that "boy make fun of girls they like" but still, i've always found that a bit weird, and that one statement doesn't make james' actions excusable by any means.

i'm honestly so glad that you're the one writing the story; you've written that firm line between consent and - well, not consent, and you've stuck to that really admirably, i think. i'm so glad that you're making it so clear that kisses without consent are by no means all right, and it just makes me more frustrated that so many people can't seem to grasp the difference.

but this raises the question does james remember annie? has he remembered who she was the whole time and not given her a hint of that? i've never been in either situation, but i imagine that it's easy to forget someone you bullied but not quite as easy to forget someone you liked, you know?

on the one hand, i'm really glad that annie's stood on her own two feet and that she stood up to james, even if he didn't necessarily know how much it took for her to finally take a stand - but then on the other we still don't know what james has done which might land him in azkaban, and we still don't know whether it's entirely his fault. i'm still torn on the matter of james, mallory, you write him so well and i don't want to make a decision without knowing all the facts but then he is and was a pretty nasty piece of work, so...? i don't know what to think, you marvellous writer you. ♥

oh, and we can't forget that the showdown between james and annie is still coming up! i can't imagine how all that's going to play out, especially with all these unknown forces playing on this situation like rose and her gang, and freddy, and surely harry can't want his son to go to jail? do the family even know about what james is doing/has done? there are so many questions. i have so many questions

thank you so much for posting this amazing chapter, mallory! ♥ i'm so glad we're in the same julno cabin so i can bug you about the next chapter >:D (i'm kidding, i'm kidding. i'll give you a break) (or will i?)

update soon, mallory!
♥ emily

Author's Response: EMILY!!! you spoil me with these reviews, seriously. don't worry, you're the first to review. :D

oh, don't quote iggy azalea at me, young lady! i know she's from your continent, but she lives in my state, and that isn't okay! D: (just kidding. you're forgiven because of this marvelous review.)

aww, thank you so much! i always worry about flashbacks because they can be so awkward and clunky. but this one was really relevant to what was going on, and i figured that it needed to be in this chapter. this is actually mostly why annie can't forgive james for the excessive bullying at school--like he tends to do, he took it way too far. yeah, she would definitely rather have someone else kiss her--preferably not someone who bullied her mercilessly, but alas. it was not to be.

the "boys make fun of girls they like" thing was what i was raised on by my mother. seriously, it's such a damaging way of thinking, but i spent a long time believing it because she said it was true. in this case, i can't say for certain that james actually does like annie (in the flashback), but he might have some sort of weird attraction to her, which is why he pursues her again and again. but he's not making overtures of love to her like the fanon version of his grandfather--he's just tormenting her because she doesn't fit the mold of what a "pretty girl" should look like. it's VERY toxic, and his actions are COMPLETELY unexcusable, so i'm glad that you're not giving him any excuses. :) this scene is very weird when i think about it too much. :/

haha, i reiterate myself too often maybe, but i just don't want people thinking that it's okay. i'm glad that you like what i'm doing with this whole issue of consent (even if it is "just a kiss" and not something more, it's still really icky of him to do that).

hmmm, i can tell you that james remembers annie. but he doesn't realize that annie-the-pool-player and "porky" collins are the same person. he never knew that she went by "annie" at school because he was too busy calling her by her nickname. also, she's changed quite drastically from her time at hogwarts and she uses glamour spells to work at the shooting star, so he just doesn't recognize her (i'll be writing this part in, but it's not too spoiler-y for right now, i think). but he didn't exactly like her at hogwarts, he just...bullied her. and trust me, he has some hang ups about that, too.

all will be revealed in time, emily! (or most of it, anyway.) i actually had to sit down and figure out what each of my characters knows about each other so i wouldn't get confused, haha. james has done something that he thinks is bad, but maybe it's not as bad as he thinks? there are many factors involved, and i'm hoping that he'll come out more likable in the end. sorry you're so torn on him, but hopefully you'll be able to decide at some point in the future! ♥

yes, the showdown! (quite far in the future, though, since i haven't written it yet.) harry doesn't even know what james is doing, but he wouldn't want james to go to jail. some of the family knows what he has done, but a lot of the family doesn't. and most of the "wotters" in this story are not as tight with each other as they are in other stories, so several of them don't keep in touch. (and when they do, they tell lies.) it'll all come out, don't worry!

thank you so much for writing this amazing review, dear! i'm glad we're in the same cabin, too, because you've bugged me to post things and i actually HAVE for once. so thanks for that! :D

♥mallory



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