Reading Reviews From Member: BookDinosaur
218 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: It's a Man's World?

14th February 2015:
HELLO, MALLORY!! :D Ugh, so apparently it takes me several hours to get this second review written? Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

First things first, thank you for not making it a terrible cliffhanger because if you had I think I might have killed something and nobody wants that, do they? No, no they don't. But let's move on from my potentially murderous habits to your much less murderous and much more wonderful writing, no? Yes.

So this seems like a really interesting group of people! I love love love that Mundungus Fletcher is still causing trouble for the authorities even as a crusty old man. The dynamic of the whole team worked really well (and by that I mean that you wrote it well, not that this is a healthy relationship between team members who like and respect each other :P) and I think their reactions to bringing in a girl were pretty realistic.

Gah, what sort of problems is Annie going to get herself into now? Honestly, this poor girl is just being dragged places that nobody wants to go.

Also, Dean/Seamus + adopted son = YES. The only bit about this storyline that I don't like is that their adopted son turned out to be a bit of a criminal. ;) Also, I loved that he was into pyrotechnics. Of course someone names after the fire-giver would be into explosives and fire!

You have me totally hooked about what's happening next and what plan Rose and her gang is going to try and pull off, and how Annie fits into that, and James, and basically everything, so update soon, please! ♥

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Review #2, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: One Secret Meeting, Intrigue Included

13th February 2015:
Hello hello! Hopefully I'll be able to leave two reviews on your two most recent chapters quite quickly today! ♥

Ooh, this entire chapter was so mysterious, Mallory! The secret meeting place, the secret meeting - Rose Weasley! I think it's pretty safe to say I never expected that one coming, haha.

Seriously, I loved the bit of background information you tossed to us, about how Knockturn Alley had been completely renovated after the war. Of course it's natural that the Ministry would probably want to get rid of any kind of disreputable, dark place, and yeah, that just fits perfectly into the story, it's a really nice touch!

But that's not the main meat of the chapter, is it? Oh my gosh, Rose Weasley is the head of Freddy's gang? O_O This was unexpected, Mallory! Why are you so good at building up intrigue?? Srsly. Oh my gosh, so then now what's the plan? Is Rose in on Freddy's bet with James? Did she engineer it? WHY?? I need answers, Mallory? Why would Rose Weasley go to the dark side? Omg.

(mind = blown)

This kind of makes me wonder if there are any other cousins involved. Roxanne? Hugo?

Also, Freddy does drag shows, hehe. >:D Did Rose insist on that too? :P

Gah, and why does Rose hate Anne? Is this a superiority thing? DID ANNE INADVERTENTLY BULLY ROSE AT SCHOOL? (I don't think so, but tat would be very plot-twisty. :P)

So basically, I'm glad there's another chapter for me to R&R right now because I don't know whether or not I could stand waiting for answers. ;) The next chapter better not end in a cliffhanger, Mallory, this is a warning in advance! ♥

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Review #3, by BookDinosaurIcarus: Inferno

9th December 2014:
Review Battle!

How did I not know there was a fifth chapter of this up?! Gosh I'm lucky I had a look at your page for the review battle, seriously. How did I miss this?? I've favourited the story and everything! >:(

OKAY FIRST THINGS FIRST I REALLY NEED TO MENTION THIS: I’ve stepped into the scene of Ludwig, the Half-Android Dolphin Tamer II and III parts 1 and 2, the rubbish sequels about Ludwig’s adventures in space and subsequent new life on another planet populated by robotic whales. THIS IS UTTER GOLD how on earth does your amazing mind come up with this stuff? Robotic whales - ahaha, that's hilarious. Someone should totally make that a real movie. I would go and watch those. (It probably says something about me that this was the first thing I needed to comment on :P )

Now onto actual, serious, constructive reviewing things - I absolutely love the way you've crafted your parallel universe. The differences like Moaning Myrtle and Colin Creevey really did emphasise how different things were, and the similarities like Lance being in the same flat and liking the same movie(s) were pretty fun. Also: the removal of the Statue of Secrecy and the invention of spaceships. Spaceships are awesome. But the real message you should be taking away here (after 'spaceships are awesome') is that I really love the way you've shaped your alternate universe. it is very alternate, and also a universe, and also awesome, which isn't in the name but is true anyway.

Aww, Lance is so nice to Lily. I wonder if Marta is in this alternate universe? And poor Lily's train of thought throughout the chapter was really fun to follow, hehe. Her reactions are completely realistic to the situation around her, and she really does seem like a real person that anyone can relate to.

OOH! Just had a thought - there was a ship log in the prologue, wasn't there? What if ship was spaceship? The spaceship is going to take Lily home!! O.O

Ooh, ooh, and I really wanted to say this before signing off - you know I lived in the Middle East for six years, and THANK YOU for including a hijabi character, no matter how briefly, in the story. I never see anyone in fanfics who are Muslim, and I think there's quite a stigma surrounding them in RL because of 9/11 and ISIS going on now, when I know plenty of Muslims who are seriously lovely people, so I just really wanted to say thank you for that representation, even if it was just for a second. ♥

Okay, this chapter was awesome and as upset as I am for not even knowing this thing was up, and missing first review, I really can't wait to see what happens next to Lily (here's to hoping that she goes onto Ludwig's planet of robotic whales!!), update soon Kristin! *hug*

Author's Response: Emilyyy! I'm glad you had a look at my page too, because then I got this lovely review from you! ♥

:D I love that you commented on that silly part there. It was like the most un-subtle jab at Hollywood ever - how any film that makes ANY money at all automatically gets a sequel or two... which are now, more often than not, divided into multiple parts, that's what the absurd numbering is about. As for the plot... yep this fic is secretly a parody :P Really don't know where the robotic whales came from.

Sooo glad you like the parallel universe! That was one of the parts I was kind of unsure about, because this begins the section where the details that I change are very specific and I need to trace literally everything back to Voldemort. There was a lot of work involved in planning this universe. So it's wonderful to hear that it makes sense and that you like it in its similarities and differences. And yes, spaceships are indeed awesome.

It's funny because Lance was not originally intended to be a main character, but he definitely is. I'm so glad you like Lily's thoughts and reactions to everything - and especially that she seems relatable (that's especially important as the plot is so out there, it's good to hear that the characters seem real.)

Hmmm... hmmm... interesting... but, my lips are sealed ;)

You're so right, there is definitely an underrepresentation of Muslims in fic (or, honestly, a lack of diversity in general!) And yeah, it makes me so sad when an entire group of people is judged for the actions of a few individuals - when most people are generally good. Anyway, I'm glad you appreciated that :)

Ooh, I like your idea. Maybe I should scrap the rest of the plot and instead write the screenplay to 'Ludwig the Half Android Dolphin Tamer'. XD Thanks so much for your review! ♥

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Review #4, by BookDinosaurResisting Ardour: Most Days, He Was Okay.

6th December 2014:
Review Battle! :D

I haven't read much Gearoge/Angelina before, I don't think they're very common on the archives so I'm really glad that I chose this oneshot off your page to read!

The whole thing was just so amazing - your writing was polished and beautiful and the whole piece flowed so beautifully from the start to the end. Your characterisation was absolutely spot on as well, I can definitely imagine George looking into his mirror and seeing Fred, and then just imagining how painful that much be for him - god, that's so sad. :(

I love how George was so torn up about sleeping with Angelina as well, because his brother had loved her first, as far as he was concerned, it really does say a lot about how much the two of them loved each other and just wah are you trying to break my feels? And then at the same time though this did take place a while after the Battle of Hogwarts and you didn't go over-the-top ANGSTY angstfillery angst, which is something I'm giving you major kudos for.

To be honest, we didn't get much description of Angelina but the way that you had her speak and move and the details that George noticed about her managed to paint a really vivid picture of this understanding, strong woman, with flashes of the anger and passion that she displays about Quidditch in canon - seriously, I love the way you described these two, and the way that they interacted with each other.

AND OH MY GOSH the way that you decided to end this - seriously it was like a punch to the feels and I'm pretty sure that at this point you want to break them because wah that was so powerful and such a perfect ending to this oneshot and you are a wizard writer, I swear. Tell me your secrets. >:D

This is seriously an amazing oneshot, and I'm really glad that I popped into the review battle in time to catch you! :D

Author's Response: I haven't read much George/Angelina myself either, but they're a couple that I've wanted to write about for a long time. They're definitely not that prevalent on the archives, although they should be since there's just so much room for drama with them!

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Pacing was something I struggled with in this story, so I'm so pleased that the final product doesn't read with all my frustrations attached. And George. OMG. My heart.

It was so interesting to write that dynamic between George and Angelina and Fred. It's as if George wants to leave everything that ever was Fred's untouched and preserved. That was a lot of fun to write. And I just couldn't bear making this completely angsty. I thought about it, but I'm really terrible at writing angst as well, so I tried for a balance between humour and angst.

I loved writing the way George loved Angelina. For him, it was the little things about her that made her real and perfect for him. And I'm just so relieved that she was an easy character to write! I was worried she might come off as a little one-dimensional, but I'm glad that wasn't the case.

That ending was supposed to hit people in the feels! I loved writing a happy-sad ending for George. It seemed like a sort of defining emotion for him, and the only thing that would really fit naturally.

Thanks so much for the lovely review! I'm so pleased you liked it :)

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Review #5, by BookDinosaurHow to Fly: How to Fly

6th December 2014:
BvB Review Battle!

Oh gosh, this is so adorable, Beth! So so cute, oh my word.

The whole story you've got here is so simple, and the way that it's written reflects that so well, it's a simple story at heart, and the way that you tell the story and create the atmosphere of it is really, really perfect. The whole thing flows so beautifully, and I think you managed to capture a lot in just 500 words. I know how hard that is, major kudos to you for that! ♥

Your characterisation of Hermione is great, the way that she's been through so much and yet she is still vulnerable like the rest of us puny mortals (ha ha. I kid, mostly). She obviously has a really close relationship with Rose and the way you bring that to us - you never say 'we were really close', you use the show-don't-tell method brilliantly here. And Rose as well; while there isn't much you can elaborate on in 500 words, you've done a really fantastic job of capturing little flickers of Ron's personality and tiny bits of Hermione's personality and blending them together and I can see Ron and Hermione in Rose, but it's also clear that she's her own person, if that makes sense? You did a fantastic job with her characterisation and Hermione's in only 500 words, and their interactions are precious, major props to you for pulling that off so well!

I also really like the repetition of the phrase I’ve ridden on the back of a thestral, a hippogriff, a dragon, and the punch to the feels again where she says But you've taught me how to fly. It was so powerful and such a tribute to motherhood - it was amazing.

This is a beautiful, beautiful oneshot Beth, and I'm really glad that I picked this off your page! ♥

Author's Response: Hiya Emily!

I'm so glad you picked this one too! I really enjoyed writing it. It was my first attempt at keeping my word count to a minimum - and it was not easy at first, but I got the hang of it (I hope!)

So, I am a Mom and that part was easier to write, but I'm so glad you noticed how I put little pieces of Ron into Rose as well. It is really awesome to see parts of the person you love so much come through in a brand new person that you love just as much ♥ - Sorry! I'm not really this gushy in a review response.

Your review was just so awesome and I was so excited to see that you liked this story. Thanks again!

♥ Beth

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Review #6, by BookDinosaurThe Ides of March: A star riding through clouds.

6th December 2014:
BvB review battle!

Hey, Kiana! I feel like I haven't read any of your stuff in ages so here I m to have a look at your new story and I am super glad that I decided to! Congrats on writing in all the eras as well, that's a pretty big achievement!

Honestly, the first thing that I have to comment on is the religion - it reminds me quite a lot of something like The Red Queen by Philippa Gregory, with all the references and the fear of God and Hell - I haven't read any Virginia Woolf stuff, which is something I need to remedy. Anyway, all the mentions of religion was something I found really realistic overall, and while it could easily have been over-the-top I think you managed to strike the perfect balance. Not overdone, but mentioned enough to be noticed, so major kudos to you for that!

The way that you wrote was really poetic and just perfect, your choice of words was really lovely throughout the chapter, and the whole thing was really atmospheric - I think the only thing I can even mention as CC is that there are a couple of run-on sentences which disrupt the flow a little, but it's pretty minor and definitly doesn't have a huge impact on the overall style of the piece.

Ugh, I'm so glad you chose to write a femmeslash relationship in this era! I mean, you're definitely right in that it'd probably be very very frowned upon, and that the religion just wouldn't condone it at all, so I'm really looking forward to seeing how this whole thing plays out - plus, I'm a total sucker for the whole 'forbidden romance' angle, so I'll definitely be sticking around for this. :P I can definitely see how this relationship develops and being the reason that Helena is set against marrying the Baron though, that's definitely going to be interesting when the time comes!

Aw man, I feel sorry for Helena as well, with Rowena as a mother. I can definitely see Rowena as one of those mothers who expect their kids to achieve exactly the same things as she has, and all your other Founder characterisations are believable as well, Godric as the affectionate dad, Helga as the Aunt to everyone and Salazar just being quiet and mysterious in that quiet mysterious way he has. ;)

The language you use when the characters speak is really well done too, not completely incomprehensible as Old English would probably be but not quite moderns and having an oldschool feel to it somehow. You're so good at creating atmosphere, tell me your secrets!

This was a completely amazing first chapter and I'm so glad that I got off my lazy horse and read it because it's beautiful! ♥

Author's Response: Hey Emily, thank you for this amazing review! :D

Aw, thank you so much, I really did love how Philippa Gregory explored it so much in all of her stories so it definitely inspired me to do the same and it was so much as you can really explore it from so many perspectives which makes it so interesting to write about! I'm so glad that you didn't find it was over-top though as I do have to admit, that was a big worry of mine!

Aw, thank you so much again, that means so much to me though I do have to credit to the wonderful Virginia Woolf for inspiring that. Thanks for pointing that out, I actually haven't edited this chapter since posting it back in August so maybe this is a sign I need to!

Aw, thanks, ha very very frowned upon is still probably putting it lightly given how some people still think it's very taboo nowadays, but I'm glad that you're excited about this as it means a lot to me. Yay for forbidden romance too, it's so much fun and it definitely does play a big part in why Helena refuses to marry the Baron as you can guess.

I know, it must be a lot of pressure to have her as a mum as she's achieved so much herself and then she probably expects her daughter to do similar things, so she needs a lot of love and sympathy to make up for it!

Aw, thank you so much, I just tend to copy authors who I admire because I figured they must be getting it right if I liked it so much, so you could always try that!

Thanks so much for this amazing review, it really put a smile on my face! :D ♥


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Review #7, by BookDinosaurThe Fires of St Anthony: Alpdrücke

6th December 2014:
BvB Review Battle!

Oh, my god. Laura. Just. Laura. I am incoherent. Your stories tend to do that to me, you amazing writer you. It's high time that I left a review on this, tbh, I'm sorry that I haven't come here sooner! Mostly sorry that I missed out on such a fab story at the time it was validated, but I'm here now and HOLY how do you even write? Are you sure that you did this during NaNo because this is just super amazing and I am in total awe of you, seriously. You are amazing.

Your descriptions - how many times have I said this to you? Your descriptions are seriously bamf (I kind of can't believe that I used that word just now??), you manage to paint such an incredible, detailed picture with your words and phrases. I particularly loved the description f the sea and how much Anthony felt at home there, and the /really/ creepy descriptions of the stairs. Plus, piracy is indeed good for the soul, the comparison between learning to sail a ship and Transfiguration made me laugh.

Ahh, the Sorting rituals of the schools sound so amazing! Really scary, of course, but the roses and grapevines sound so like Beauxbatons, and the Stairs - oh my god, how would any parent want to send their kid to a school with that sort of Sorting? That's terrifying.

Are you sure that you wrote this during NaNo? And are you sure that this is your first foray into the dark/horror/mystery genre? Because seriously, this is fab and so so creepy, the kind of thing that makes me want to hide under my bed, which is a problem because I don't have a bed, only a mattress, and hiding under a mattress is decidedly more uncomfortable than hiding under bed. I have a feeling that I've just gone way off-topic.

In my opinion, it's much harder to paint a scary picture with words. You don't have scary music to help you, and you're responsible for creating the images that a movie could make for you. This, though - this is an absolutely triumph, honestly. The way that you write is a little dreamy, super atmospheric, and the italiced sections are toally creepy on their own, but the fact that we kind of don't know what's going on is awful. It's as though you've got a curtain over everytig, and you're pulling it away to reveal the myth and leegend so, so slowly and it's so creepy and ugh I'm going to have to find something fluffy to read after this. You're terrifying, Joffrey.

Somehow, though, at the same time you've managed to balance that with the image of the teachers in the staffroom, with their cabinet of liquor, haha! I love the game Goblin Gander, and you should definitely come up with rules for that because it sounds pretty amazing. And it definitely sounds realisticc that the Ravenclaws would spend all their time mastering this game, hahaha! Sounds like something we'd do. :P I can definitely relate to Anthony as well, being a little new and foreign and not knowing where to go or where to look or how to make friends. I'm glad he's sort of getting to know the other teachers though, even if he undid mosst of his good work by not being able to return to his chambers unassisted. :P

That end section was so creepy. O.O The "run," and the way Matyas reacted to it - does he know something? The whole thing is so foreboding and atmospheric and you are an absolutely genius, Laura.

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Review #8, by BookDinosaurSuffer the Children: Four

16th November 2014:

oh my goodness that interaction between Cat and Rose went much much better than i ever hoped and Cat's gay and Rose lied to her about Scorpius and omg. o. m. g. i'm totally shipping those two now, by your leave. and hehehe yes Cat got onto Al's act immediately, eh??? ALL THE SCORBUS yes yes yes.

oh gosh, Rose is such a Slytherin, honestly - vain and doesn't care, all the relations she's made through Astoria, her whole thing with Scorpius, which I'm very impressed at how long they've kept up, but then again, she is vulnerable. That's the whole reason she and Scorpius is a thing. I bow down to you and your amazing characterisation skills, honestly, you're terrific. And so are your characters, but mostly you, don't worry.

I wonder how Rose is going to keep hiding her relationship with Scorpius from Cat? I mean obviously she's going to have to come clean, and I don't think that someone who runs the LGBTQA+ group at school will approve of someone having a fake boyfriend just to hide her orientation, that should be super interesting!

oh my goodness can i just say that the whole scenario you have set out - the radicals wanting to eradicate wizardkind - well, it's better than a n international shortage of floo, surely, but it actually really reminds me of the death cult i.e. ISIL and i really can't wait to see how they handle this, it should be really interesting! (the Mac is trying to teach me how to spell, just by the by. if you see any words that don't belong, consider it a gift from my overzealously overcorrecting computer)

also, this doesn't really have much to do with the chapter but i really like how you've turned the fake-date-and-fall-in-love trope on its head completely by acing your main characters in a relationship that's fake, and completely and totally not falling for one another as they do it. It's just...refreshing, i guess? i mean, don't get me wrong, stories like that when they're well written are great, i just like to see that chichi turned on its head and you did a good job of that

i really like how you introduced all the students who're taking part in this! i can't wait to get to know them better, that would be pretty awesome. and JAPAN!! :D i'm in love.

so basically this was a very awesome chapter, and i'm spoilt because i got to read two chapters in a day, and update soon! ♥

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Review #9, by BookDinosaurSuffer the Children: Three

15th November 2014:
DAMNIT I MISSED FIRST REVIEW WHY I decide to go to sleep early at 10 that one night and look what happens dammit.

You know, I haven't read any other stories with this same style of dual narration that you do, so it was kind of unexpected and you pull it off really really well. It's a bit like A Study In Scarlet, except both stories are being told at the same time instead of one after the other - I don't know, I think your style of narration fits the story really well, so kudos to you for that!

Ahh, Rose and Scorpius! Honestly I wonder when they're going to break up and come out because honestly, it's probably unhealthy to live a lie for so long and hide it from literally everyone. Their friendship is a thing of beauty though, and oh my gosh can I just say that the whole fireworks thing had me laughing out loud! Such Slytherins, confiscating the fireworks for a cut of the profits for spending money in Rome ahahaha. :P Maybe that's why they've been able to keep up the pretence for so long, because they're such good buddies.

And ooh, does this mean that Al and Scorp have to share a room? ALL THE SCORBUS.

"Do as I say and not as I do" haha no I absolutely hate that saying. Hypocrites say that saying. Cat seems pretty awesome though, she's handling it all pretty well and doesn't seem too out of her depth, which is good. I'm looking forward to seeing how she interacts with Rose and all because you are so good at having natural interactions between your characters.

Ooh, and Draco's coming along? That should be interesting I feel like if he's displeased with Rose and Scorpius as a couple than he would already have said so, but it will be interesting to see how they have to keep up their facade around him, oh dear.

Basically this was a super-awesome chapter and I'm waiting with bated breath for an update! :D

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Review #10, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: On Vertic's Alley

11th November 2014:
I realised that I hadn't reviewed this yet. :O BLASPHEMY. So here I am with my ambition screaming at me to get on with NaNo, don't listen to it. I'm doing perfectly fine.

Oh, Annie. Honestly I find that the way you write her is just so amazing - she has to keep in his good books, but she doesn't like him, and there's bad past between them that only she remembers, and she's understandably bitter about James and then there's the whole pool thing - it's a super complicated situation for anyone to be and you write all her feelings and her emotions - so perfectly. I love it, this is really amazing.

Ahhh, Vertic's Alley - is that a play on words, like how Diagon Alley is a play on word 'Diagonally' and then Vertic's Alley is a play on the word 'Vertical'? Anyway, whatever prompted you to pick that name, it fits the whole wixen world so well, it's seriously amazing. your descriptions of the teenagers and the shops - it's all so vivid, enough-but-not-too-much, your description is absolutely perfect. ♥

You know, I kept laughing at the way that she called him 'Potter' and then kept trying to fix it to 'James', ahaha. Shes clearly still pretty uncomfortable with him, and the funnier thing is that he's trying to get more comfortable with her - the contrast there, between the two of them, is pretty funny.

Yeah Annie. Do not speak of the Cannons and the Kestrals like that. Honestly, James is pretty protective of his team, isn't he? :P Raging Potter beast indeed.

Honestly, I wonder how James would react if he knew who Annie was? Would he be so respectful, would he go back to bullying her, would he try to apologise? Would he even have asked her for help? It's an interesting question, anyway.

UGH UGH UGH UGH THE END MALLORY WHAT IS THIS THE END just look at that!! It's going to work out for her but not for him - WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. So she is going to set him up? OH MY GOD Mallory I need answers wahhh *cries*

You are a fab NaNo Mum and Daughter and Sister and I can't wiat for the next chapter to come up. Update soon!

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Review #11, by BookDinosaurSuffer the Children: Two

10th November 2014:

LISA YOU GEM. This is adorable, bless all of them. ♥ Rose and Scorpius, while not in a relationship, are great to read about; the way that they're interacting, they way that they so clerly care about each other even if it's not in that way, your characters are so natural and their interactions are so perfect and you're perfect and I love it. ♥

Also, can I just say that I love how you took a swipe at Jojen Reed/Thomas Brodie-Sangster's face, because I swear he looks very much lie a twelve-year-old and now I'm imagining a Scorpius who looks twelve years old and it's just adorable. So that you for that mental image, I suppose. :P

Aw, Scorp and Rose. :( They're going to have to come out of the closet at some time, no matter how delicious the Turkish Delights might be, I hope they realise that. The way they have to discuss everything and make sure their stories are straight, though - I love it. So Slytherin, honestly, those two. ;)

Ooh, how's this going to turn out if they start acting different around each other during the ICW thing? Albus might notice and stuff might go down, but I'm not sure and I won't speculate much farther than this because you're the author here and not me. ;)

Ugh, Quidditch over the water? That sounds super duper awesome...except if you fell off. Then it would be super duper painful and I don't really want to think aout that. Can the Snitch go underwater? Would the Seekers have to dive underwater in their hunt for the Snitch? That would make for a thrilling match. Could you charm water, because it's always moving and changing? Questions. And to be fair, I suppose that the Cat's school students would be pretty shaken at having to play Quidditch in the desert so there's that. I love the boisterous and fragmented rendition of Advance Australia Fair. That's just so Aussie, haha! ♥

Ahh, the ending! not a real cliffhanger in that sense of the word but now I really want to go to Rome and stuffie stuff already and get everyone to meet and IT'S GONNA BE EPIC

amazing chapter, Lisa! :D


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Review #12, by BookDinosaurAn inky black heart.: The ebony vessel.

8th November 2014:
Hello again, Kiana! Here for the BvB review battle. :D

Wah, this was amazing. I don't like Snily as a pairing at all, and just Snape is a awful person by himself without the whole Lily obsession, and at first when you described this as a Snily piece I was super nervoud about readong it because I don't like Snily. But this - you pulled it oof amazingly. It remains a fact that Snape loved Lily, no matter how nasty I find that, and to have it written about like this - showing him and his love as more of an obsession or out-of-control feelings, it's perfectly done and really just amazing. You know, I actually have a copy of The Hunchback of Notre Dame and I love the film version of it, and the comparisons between Snape's love for Lily and Frollo's love for Esmerelda is something I never even considered but it's so powerful all the same - obsessive and twisted, and people don't see that because of 'always' and gah just yes you've done this so well.

The imagery you used her is absolutely stunning, the ebony heart and the blackness of his love for her, it's amazing how you managed to bring it all out so well. You've brought out his motions so perfectly as well - I've said this so many times, but the plain, sheer obsessiveness of his love for her is haunting and you wrote that so, so well.

The repetition in threes was brilliant as well - you've used that really well in this piece as well, bringing out the harshness and the sort of OCD in his life when it comes to Lily.

You've managed to keep this within 500 words super super well, and if I had any critiques it would be that some of the sentences don't really sound natural? Like this one: The motley collection of shapes makes up her just doesn't sound natural if you say it out loud. I know its's super hard to get everything to flow in just 500 words, and overall you've done a fab job with it.

This was an amazing piece, Kiana, I'm glad I came to read it! ♥

Author's Response: Hey again Emily :D

Whoo, for Sniy hate, I feel as if we should form a gang or something as Snape is just Creepy with a capital C and more people really do need to realise that. Wah wah wah is the only way I can react to what you said as you are far too nice and yeah I just want to squish you in a totally non-creepy way right now. The comparisons between the two was only something which struck me at the end as it was like you either love me or you die and it reminded me of Snape and Lily in a way so I just had to go and write this. Yeah, the stupid always getting in the way :P I know what you mean about it though because thanks to that one word Snape is loved by all!

Wah, thank you so much though I do have to give credit to Victor Hugo for inspiring a lot of it as his writing is so dark and gothic it definitely inspired a lot of what was written here.

I'm so glad you liked the repetition of three too, as it always seems to crop up in my work but it just works so well for hammering home obsessive ideas.

Thanks for pointing that out as it was quite hard to keep a line between arty and too arty so I will definitely go and review it asap. :D

Thanks for this amazing review, Emily, it really did make me smile :D


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Review #13, by BookDinosaurIcarus: Playing with Fire

8th November 2014:
This was so weird.

KRISTIN HAI ♥ So, this was more exciting than weird, but it certainly posed a lot of rather weird questions! Gosh, what can I say? You're travelling into that whole multi-verse theory where the universes overlap which always confuses me so so much, and it might be mean but I'm quite relieved that Lily has no idea what that means either as it means you're going to have to explain it to her in simple words and then AI can follow along. :P

What you've got now is super fascinating, though! The whole thing about how the cubes can access other realities - why? How? Why weren't the Department of Magic using it? The way you drew the other realities was so amazing as well, the way that the first things Lily noticed were the small changes and not the major ones first - I loved that the first thing she noticed in her second trio was the smell of the flat. A small change, but super effective.

Um, I just want to ask, is Ludwig, the Half-Android Dolphin Trainer a real film? Because if it's not then it should be, it sounds awesome.

Heyy, good on Lily for getting an interview! Although I'd say that she has a pretty good right to be annoyed if those people did just reply to her application because she's Harry Potter's daughter. Being judged for something that essentially isn't you - that's happened to me before and it's never pleasant.

Naww, poor Lily (the first)! Not being able to wear the colours she wanted...I mean, I say poor Lily but I laughed at that section so the point of this is that 8'm not a very nice person, I don't think. :P

OH SNAP, Lily dropped the cube! NO THAT'S NOT GOOD. Is it? It's probably in some sort of other parallel universe and HOW WILL SHE GET HOME. I laughed pretty hard when you wrote 'I can always come back via cube if I don't end up in the right place' OH NO YOU CAN'T, Lily! That'll teach you to mess with Ministry substances.

Brilliant chapter, Kristin! I'm looking forward to more *hint hint* Haha, seriously though, I love this chapter and you are a fab author.

ps - YES FIRST REVIEW ehehehehe xD

Author's Response: EMILY ♥ HAIII

Ah, I'm so stoked that you found this chapter to be exciting rather than confusing! :p As you pointed out, the overlapping multiverses are a convoluted topic, and probably not easily understandable to the average person (hence Lily's reaction) ... actually while I was doing the research for that part and reading all these theoretical physics articles I was just like ASDKJFKLSJ MY BRAINNN. So yeah, I'm glad it made Lily relatable at least haha!

I'm glad the cube and the other realities are interesting, thanks! The technology behind the cube is kind of like a cross between magic and science, which was neat to figure out. And thanks, I'm so thrilled those details were effective and seemed realistic.

Ludwig - oh, if only! :D I think it should be a real film too, glad it'd have at least one fan XD I see it as being one of those low-budget movies that by all standards should be terrible, but is so terrible that you love it.

Well, she's not exactly sure by what means she got the interview, whether their decision process was respectable or not. But yeah, her annoyance is justified, I think.

Hehe, poor Lily (the first) indeed. I suppose there are far worse things than not being able to wear pink, but maybe it was her favourite colour or something. Unfortunate for her, but yes, kind of funny - it doesn't make you a mean person :p

Er, that's probably not good, no. Or she might have just dropped it on her foot. Time shall tell. Bwahaha. But yes, Lily has a few lessons to learn about messing with stolen Ministry items.

EEeee thank you!! I'm working on this story for NaNo so with any luck, there will be more chapters soon! Thanks as always for your fantastic review! ♥

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Review #14, by BookDinosaurstanding in the way of the light: a series of trials.

8th November 2014:
Here for the BvB review battle! I was looking for things on your page and I saw this and I was all 'yes that's the really amazing story about Astoria' and then I realised that I haven't even reviewed this yet so now HERE I AM! :P

Honestly, this was amazing, and it definitely deserved to win Nadia's challenge. Your use of second person was just amazing, and the way you built so much around Astoria, a past and history and complicated relationships - I don't see Astoria that much in fanfics, and this is the kind of amazing story which makes wish that more people would think about her and write about her as you did.

Your quote for the challenge was used so perfectly, I honestly would not have noticed it if I didn't know it was for a challenge. Your writing style here is also so beautiful; the prose is perfect, and the narrative tone fitted each section perfectly, if that makes sense.

Speaking of sections; the dual storyline is amazing. The way you were telling two stories at once, you managed it so perfectly, and while it could have been very easy to get the readers mixed up as to which story was which you managed to pull it off perfectly, and it fit the story so perfectly. I know you said that this is a long oneshot, and it is, but the length never felt...unnecessary, if that makes sense? The story felt like it was long enough, not too long and not too short, so kudos to you on that!

Ahh, what can I say? The family interactions between Astoria and her mother and father and Daphne - I mean, by no means was it happy or anything, but it was really realistic, the way she just didn't comprehend it at first, the way that Daphne would just deny it to herself - it was all done so well, and so sensitively, and the end product is an amazing story.

Astoria's relationship with Lavender is something else that I want to touch on before signing off - the way the two of them met, in therapy together, the way that both of them are broken and how they helped each other so much, and Lavender's eventual death - I mean. Wow. I love Lavender as a character, you know that from my own story, and I love the way you portrayed her and Astoria here.

I have no idea whether this review makes sense because this story just kind of turned me into a flailing ball of feels, but this is an amazing, amazing story, Kiana! ♥

Author's Response: Hey Emily, thanks for the amazing review and hey again as I feel as if I haven't spoken to you about non-QTR tings in ages!

Aw, thank you so much, that really did make me smile. I think the fact that Astoria doesn't really appear much in FF is what inspired me to write about her here, as the quote just inspired a dark and twisted backstory to me, and obviously an unknown character was needed for that. Astoria seemed liked the natural candidate for that as her love for Draco has always intrigued me and I just wanted to know more about her as a person and what led her to know Draco.

Wah, wah, wah, that is all I have to say as those amazing compliments have turned me into a pile of goo and just thank you so much Emily! ♥

Aw, thank you so much as I was a little worried people might get a little confused with it but it's great that you liked it. Haha, it's also great that you didn't think it was too long because I have this weird habit of either writing extremely short or extremely long one-shots, there never is any in-between length for them so whoo for that.

I'm so glad that you found it was realistic, as it's fortunately something that I've never had to experience throughout my life so I could only really go on what other victims had had to say about it, so it means a lot to me that you said it.

I know, I am a little too mean to Lavender at times because whenever she never ever seems to get a happy ending and I always seem to rip her to shreds and make her life horrible but she's just such an easy character to do that to, I can't help myself. Whoo for destroying her life though.

Thank you so much for this wonderful review and hopefully the response isn't too rambly! ♥


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Review #15, by BookDinosaurSuffer the Children: One

5th November 2014:

Ah, this was amazing. You know that, right? This was completely amazing. Witty banter galore. And I almost choked on the Tim Tam I'm eating when your characters started talking about it because that is the logical thing to do, no?

ahhh, i mean, i know this is just an introductory chapter but I though I'd commend you on how realistically and wittily your characters converse, because it makes me laugh and we all know that's the most important thing you have going on right now. You have a gift for writing witty banter, you know that? you better know that, how many times have I told you?

so, you managed to set the whole rose/scorpius = loras/renly/margaery/sansa thing quite well, and i can see what you mean when you say that rose/scorpius and al don't get on very well too, so i'm really looking forward to seeing how you develop their relationship as they go to rome together because to go abroad together in such a small group does require a certain amount of mutual friendliness, I think.

Also, i just want to point out that even though you are writing with sco/rose/al again, you've already succeeded in making them pretty different from your tfwms-verse stories - i mean obviously putting them in a different house helps, but i think you'e done a good job creating different characters out of them, so kudos to your for that!

can i say how excited i am for your model ICW as well? it's such a fab idea, and gives you a brilliant excuse to bring together so many witches and wizards from so many different nations and really work some internationaliy (is that a word?? i don't think that's a word) into your work and yeah i'm looking forward to seeing how you deal with that!

I kinda feel sorry for Cat. Not having won anything in her life before...except I laughed at her blatant disbelief that she had been chosen - is there any point to this sentence? no, no there isn't. Except that I am not a nice person.

Also, you are totally not being fair on Aussie people. We are a delight. And i feel like the quote 'no hooking up with Aussie guys or girls' is deliberately daring Cat to hook up with an Aussie and stop with this silly trans-Tasman rivalry thing. We can be best friends! ♥

I'm looking forward to the next chapter Lisa, update soon! ♥


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Review #16, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: Aftermath and Arrangements

25th October 2014:
AHH HI FIRST REVIEW FIRST REVIEW FIRST REVIEW I want this to be first review is that so much to ask???

Agh, you know, it's so weird to see Annie at home and not in the casino - I was getting so used to Annie as the cunning conwoman, the trickster, the seductive pool player, that seeing her at home and groggy after a long night was a really subtle reminder that she's still only human, so kudos to you for pulling that off so seamlessly!

These little details you add into the story are so amazing! Like how Freddy changes messenger birds every week, and how he signs off his letters with the XOXO - it all adds so much to the story and the character, and I absolutely love the atmosphere it brings. ♥

Ahh, so the meeting with Freddy is important enough for Freddy to want to remind Annie to come, and to wear something nice. You have me very keyed up for this meeting that's going to happen, Mallory.

Gosh and Annie really does want to meet up with James again! Honestly, I wonder what on earth she wants with him, especially as she knows Freddy will fire her. - and worse - if she gets caught with him. I wonder whether it's all part of a plan just to build his hopes up and then defeat him, or whether she actually thinks that there's a way out of this. Honestly, at the moment all I can think of is teaching James so well that he can pot all the balls in one go and not let Annie have a go, but honestly AI don't really see that happening? Ahh, I can't wait to see where this will go.

I can definitely see how writing that letter would be cathartic to Annie, with all those insults, haha! And that flashback you stuck in was wonderful as well, it really gave us a bit of background on Annie and James' nasty Hogwarts relationship, and why she was calling her sister nasty names in her head in the previous chapters. Gosh, poor poor Annie, being bullied like that at Hogwarts! And I see why she prefers Annie to Portia now, which is sad because I think Portia's a lovely name.

Honestly, I wonder whether James has changed and what'll happen to them - looking forward to seeing where you choose to take their relationship!

Ooh, and before I sign off, Hattie and Annie's friendship is brilliant! I love the way you write them, and I love the way they seem to balance each other out, and how they cover for each other - it's honestly just like something which could happen in real life.


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Review #17, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: The Boss and the Business Proposition

25th October 2014:
Hi Mallory! Slightly later than expected but I'm here now, yeah? :P

Ahh, this was such a great chapter! So many questions answered, aa appearance from the famous Freddy, a lot more light on the details of this bet. :D

Ooh, Freddy first. I am rather impressed that he can play pool, haha! I think that with this one appearance, you've done a really fab job of showing us what he's like and giving him a pretty fleshed-out character. I just want to point out that he's pretty much the complete opposite of most portrayals I've read about him; a Slytherin, on the slightly shady side of the law, at loggerheads with James, and most of the time authors are writing him as a Gryffindor, upright and honourable, and best friends with James.

I don't know whether you meant to subvert his normal portrayals or not but you've done a really good job of establishing his character in this! Maybe it's just me, but he's honestly coming off as a little crazy, what with the glowing eyes and almost-bursting-with-excitement attitude he's showing. Maybe he's just sadistic? And in answer to your questions, I do think he's a bit of a creep, and yes, it's very cool that he's an actor and a casino owner. Mad skillz, y'all. :P

Ahh, his offer is so one-sided! He's definitely not leaving any space for poor Annie to crawl out of, is he? Gah gah gah, thrice-accursed bet indeed, and poor Anne's just caught in the crossfire. Although that last sentence about eating humble pie and extending her offer of teaching definitely makes me think that Annie has a plan to get herself out of this, I'm really wondering what it is. Thank goodness you've just updated, no? :P

Ahh, sorry for the shortness and just general rubbishness of this review, I just kind of want to get to the next chapter so that I can see what Annie' up to and how she wants to get out of her nasty situation. xD You cunning author you, it's not an obvious cliffhanger at all but the way to set up that sentence at the end leaves the reader wanting more, more, MOAR.

Onto the next chapter!

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Review #18, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: Not All Men, But Most of Them

24th October 2014:

This is so late and so overdue that I really have no excuses except...yeah, I got nothing. But I'm here now, right? Right?? Seriously though, I am so sorry for the delay in reviews.

Ugh ugh ugh, I feel so sorry for poor Annie, having to go through that all the time she's working! I mean, it's great that she loves pool and enjoys her job, but seriously, those guys are unsavoury enough to put me off pretty much anything. I guess that getting her revenge on them would be pretty sweet, though, so there is that. You show them, Annie!

Ooh, it's Freddy's time to shine! Well, a little bit. He definitely seems super sleazy, but super cunning too. Ahh, I can't wait to find out more about him because he has the potential to be such a great villain. I am interested in finding out his motives though, why he wants James down so badly.

And aww, James!! So clueless, honestly, so unsuited to the underworld where Freddy's so at home. Did he never consider that Freddy might be angry at Annie's involvement with him? Tsk tsk. And honestly, while I do like James as a character, I'm kind of torn about the way Annie's treating him - I mean, definitely good on her for sticking up to him and for herself and giving him a taste of his medicine, but on the other hand I absolutely hate it when someone's just left in the lurch in cold blood, and that's what Annie just did to James. I'm too soft on fanficiton characters. :P

Ooh, why could Freddy be planning? Definitely looking forward to seeing what he wants from Annie, and what his 'business proposition' could mean for Annie and for James.

On an unrelated topic, can I just say how much I love your chapter title? I don't know how much it has to do with the #NotAllMen and #YesAllWomen campaign, but what you say is so true, and you definitely showed that in Annie's dealings with her 'customers'.

Onto the next chapter, Mallory! ♥

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Review #19, by BookDinosaurPlum Velvet: Blue Leather

25th September 2014:

I don't understand Aph this is so beautiful how do you do it?? Your description and word choices and the way you tell a story - all your prose is so magnificent and gorgeous and such a pleasure to read and I love it so much and now I want to cry as well because I could never do what you're pulling off here.

I can't even I don't

sorry sorry sorry

Proper reviewing has gone out the window.

I don't understand how beautifully you phrase things and your word choice is just so vivid and evocative and superb, so atmospheric, every word you chose to put in this seems to fit and I'm so jealous of that quality you have. ♥

All the emotions in this piece were so completely real as well; the desperately loving Albus and the shyness of Hyperion but mostly just Albus; every word of his narrative was soaked in longing and desire, and you pulled it off so well.

I loved the litany on Albus' namesakes. I've never really thought about how they both had sort of nonexistent love lives and the way Albus thought that it was his duty to love fully so that their sacrifices weren't in vain - it's something I've never considered before and I loved it.

You had me gasping out loud when it came to the end honestly I never saw it coming and I was reading this story slowly; letting Albus worm his way into my heart, and so I read that ivory punctured steel and my immediate thought was that Al was stabbing Scorpius because he was some sort of weirdo taxidermist like that lady in the Roald Dahl short story - you know, The Landlady. Because that is the logical conclusion, obvs. :P

But then I saw the light! and vampires. I know Maia actually has a couople of vampire-based storis on her AP, so mad props to you for incorporating that so seamlessly into your own story. I never even saw that coming. You are a genius

Ugh gah I hope they get a happily ever after. I hope Hyperion accepts what Albus did to him, or better, that he knew beforehand. I hope they do get their fairytale ending. ♥

This is honestly just such an amazing story Laura, and I'm so so glad I read it.

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Review #20, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: Learning From the Best

25th September 2014:

I only just noticed that this had been updated! No wifi does not tickle a pickle. Even I do not understand that joke.

Ahh, how are you so smooth with your flashbacks?! You mentiond tat this was a little flashback-heavy, and you're right, but I've read stories where the flashbacks just interrupt the flow of the story so much but you insert them so perfectly that the whole thing flows as such a lovely piece and yeah how do you do it?? I'm terrified of inserting a flashback into my writing! I love how you managed it, anyway.

Also, this has nothing to do with the story but the ads that line my page are now offering to manufacture pool tables for me, ahah. "Discount pool tables," "Custom pool tables," and "Pool table manufacturers," oh dear. :P

Ugh, the family dynamic between Anne and her dad was so sweet! "Thrush," is a lovely nickname, and the way they interacted showed how well they knew each other and how strong their relationship was. If Portia's on such bad terms with her family now, something must have happened to her dad, because he seemed to be the one holding her in the family and gah no Mallory please prove me wrong. :(

It's sad, but Anne's relationship with her mother seemed realistic as well, the way they just got on each other's nerves and how her mother just wanted her to be a witch and how that in itself made Anne not want to have any magic and yeah it was a sad relationship but a realistic one. I know parents like that myself, and it's always sad - even if the child does what they want - how they have such a strained relationship. D:

It seems so fitting that Anne would show her magic at the pool table! I'm glad it happened that way, it seems so natural.

Your word choice and the way you tell this story was lovely as always, and I can't wait to read more of it! Update soon, Mallory!

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Review #21, by BookDinosaurIcarus: Cultivated Arts

9th September 2014:
This was so weird. (It feels nice to start a review with that again!)

Wah, thank you Kristin for being such a wonderful author and leaving me all these chapters to read! :P

Baha, Lily and Al and James are all so grown up for their parents, tsk tsk. I love the family dynamic - the teasing and and the way they all try to stop the attention from being focused on them, haha! Also, I absolutely adored the Lockhart cameo, that was so in character for him and I laughed so hard at his condescending tone. Poor James, having that as his only positive review!

Ahaha, Lily and Iris can speak to one another with eyebrows! Now that's a testament to their friendship. :P

Oh Marta. Oh you silly Marta. How on earth did she think that nicking something from the Ministry of Magic would be a good idea? How how how. Someone tell me. She has as much common sense as a three year is molting feathers everytwhere. Gah, Marta.

Hah, Lily and Marta do have a slick act! I would've believed them if I'd met them, that's cool! And aw, now I don't know who to ship Lance and Marta or Lily and Marta because Lily balances Marta out so well and she already likes Marta but Marta doesn't really notice and gah their adventure will mean sister bonding time (I hope).

Ooh, and what on earth is happening with the cube?? What does the rune mean and where is the screen Marta was talking about? Where have the plates gone? WHY IS IT COMING TO LIFE??

Kristin, you know what this means, right? I'm going to be bugging you more. :P Update soon, I can't wait to see what happens next!

Author's Response: This was like the least weird chapter that will ever happen in this story. I don't think there were actually any weird things. So there. :p

Thanks for being such a wonderful author and friend! :)

Teehee, they've grown older but haven't grown up. I mean, at least they're past the age of sending toilet seats to one another. Ah yes, Lockhart! You know, I randomly missed writing his lovely POV and felt like I should write him again, so I just stuck him into this fic for a brief cameo for no purpose whatsoever. There's a lot of pointless scenes in this chapter actually - my forte. :P

Eyebrow speaking is totally a thing. My sister and I communicate with our eyes all the time!

You'd be a good influence on Marta. (Probably anyone would, since most people have more sense than she does.) But yeah, she's pretty selfish and doesn't really see how her actions affect others. If she'd actually thought about it, she probably wouldn't have seen it as a good idea - she just didn't think about it.

Funny thing is I could totally see Marta living in a tent and reading palms, even if she did make up that bit! Heheh, ah a mess of ships. One of those ships will probably not work out.

Your questions will (mostly) be answered in the next chapter! There are exciting things coming! :P

Yes, I do know what it means - it means now it's time for you to update Endure :P Thanks for an awesome review, Emily!! ♡

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Review #22, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: A Drink With the Devil

8th September 2014:
AH HAI MALLORY! And wah, thank you for dedicating this chapter to me! Even though at the time I was shamefully behind reviewing this lovely story. ;) BUT HEY THIS TIME I GOT FIRST REVIEW!! :D

Ahh, James did change his mind about pool! I'm kind of glad, I want them to get along because I ship them already. >:D The way he tried to get to know her after their lesson was so nice, although I haven't forgiven him for torturing poor Annie so much while they were still at Hogwarts. I definitely do understand what you were complaining about in the NaNo cabin though, when you said James was being unnecessarily sweet and turning his personality around, haha!

Aw yay, I'm so glad that her dad was nice to her and that an parent in her life was nice to her because her mum and her sister sound as though they were pretty nasty to poor Annie. It's funny that the guys in the village wouldn't play unless he shot left-handed, I'm surprised nobody in The Snoozing Dog thought to tell that to Annie!

Ooh, and James gets into deeper trouble! Of course it's Freddy making the bet with James, I wonder whether that will cause Annie any trouble later in her work life? :/ I hope Freddy doesn't find out that she's the one tutoring James.

AlthoughAzkaban?? That's harsh, what on earth could James have done to land himself in that kind of trouble? Gosh Mallory, stop with the suspense already! *unhappy* You're too good at this.

One thing I noticed: when Annie said pool is fifty percent skill, thirty percent math, twenty-five percent concentration, and five percent luck,” I don't know whether she meant it or not, but that adds up to 110%. ;) Just thought I'd point it out, although if it was intentional and I missed a joke then feel free to ignore this. :P

Gah, James doesn't have a very good memory, does he? I mean, he knew her and they were in the same year, he should remember Annie. Now I'm all angry at him again, humph. But then gah, he was so cute and awkward at the end of the chapter...I don't know what to make of him, I honestly don't.

Anyway, I loved this chapter, and after catching up on all the ones I missed, I finally get to say update soon! :D

ps. YES FIRST!! :P

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Review #23, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: Ready, Aim, Miss...

8th September 2014:
Hey again! (I ran out of witty greetings, so...a hey is the best you'll get out of me. :P)

Hahaha, Annie can be so cunning! Her lie to Mr Goldblum was very well thought-out and the whole thing about eye contact is so true (I use the technique on teachers to convince them I'm listening...), but at the same time you did bring out the Hufflepuff part in her when she tipped the cabbie because she could sympathise with him and yeah it was just a lovely way to show that not all Puffs are the stereotypical nice people. I also love how you make Hattie a Puff as well, and use her to showcase even more Hufflepuff qualities and yeah you've just done such a great job with their characters!

Ahh, James was so cute with his fear of Muggle transport! And the way he was so determined to learn pool but he didn't think it was a sport and kept insulting it - dearest James, that's only going to make your teacher angry at you. It's like authors insulting validators in their stories: you don't do it, because it's just plain rude.

Aww, Manny seems like such a nice guy! I'm glad that somebody in pool is nice to her rather than just thinking that because she's a girl she can't play pool or something like that. Hannah Longbottom seems lovely as well, it's nice to know that even if her mother's nasty, Annie does have some positive adult figures in her life. :)

Bahaha, while Annie was trying to teach James pool she honestly sounded like McGonagall. Potter, I doubt that you’re in a life-or-death situation. Pool is rarely that intense. I mean, she's giving off direct McGonagall vibes there. ;) What does she mean, she's not a good teacher?! She'd be a great teacher. :P

And good on Annie as well, telling James off when he started acting all spoilt and childish. Tell it to him like it is, Miss Eight! By the way, I absolutely love that nickname for her. It seemed natural enough and not completely weird, and the origin for it was perfect actually I loved it. :)

Your word choices and prose was perfect as usual, and this was such a brill chapter! One to go before I'm all caught up. :D

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Review #24, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: The Woes of Working Retail

8th September 2014:

Wah, this is so amazing I love it! Even though it was only a bit, we got some insight into Annie's family life, and I feel so sorry fr her because it really doesn't seem like she had the happiest time at home. First her sister, now her mum, I really hope her dad was nice to her when she was younger. :(

Gah, and I absolutely loved that little play on words you came up with about Annie's night lessons, haha! Poor girl, so pressured to find a job and when she did find one it wasn't even something she liked.

I really love Annie as a character, she seems so so realistic and just someone who could honestly bump into me one day. Her voice is so defined and her character is brilliant throughout the story and I'm really looking forward to seeing more about how she reacts to the inevitable awful situations that are going to crop up for her here, especially regarding her insecurities. >:D

Ahhh, and we get to see James. :D Ahh, I love how at first he was all smooth and stuff and then with one laugh from her his facade kind of crumbles and he becomes more awkward again. Threatening her was pretty nasty though, and I think that it was a bit of bullying - she did agree to teach him, though, so I'm interested to see how that goes. :D

And why is Tuesday night going to be special? What's so special about The Snoozing Dog? Gah, need to go read more. This was a fab chapter, Mallory!

Author's Response: HALLOOO AGAIN FROM THE FUTURE! You know so much more about this story now because you've read all the chapters that are up and now... Ugh, sorry for being so tardy with this response!

Yep, just a pinch of Annie's family life. They'll make an appearance later on, and you'll get to see why it wasn't always so fun. I didn't mean to make her mum too horrid, but she did expect a lot of Annie, and it didn't always match up with what Annie wanted/needed for herself. Her dad understood quite well, though, and that's why she was a Daddy's Girl.

Haha, thanks! Playing with words is fun, and Annie does go to night lessons... It's just that she's the teacher, not the student. I think she likes her job a little, but she knows that she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life hoodwinking gross people at pool.

I'm so glad you love her. I wanted to make her realistic while also a bit unrealistic--hence why she's so good at pool. Thank you soo sooo much! There will definitely be a lot of reacting and situations in later chapters.

James is such a weirdo. Like, I don't even know. He's sometimes suave and sometimes the worst dork ever. Ugh, he's quite a handful to write. :)

Tuesday night will be very interesting! (But you already know that because you've already read the next chapter...)

Thanks again!


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Review #25, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: Mint Chocolate Chip Memories

8th September 2014:

I hate having no wifi. :( But on the bright side, I'm here now! I have three hours and a bit left on the internet because this place limits my Internet usage, but I can shoot off a couple of reviews in three hours, right? Right. (APH, NO FAIR!)

Wah, this chapter was amazing! I loved loved loved all the exposition you managed to bring in here, and the chapter never really felt boring or clunky amongst all that background description, which is a brilliant feat, so congrats on that!

Ahh, WE HAVE A NAME! Portia...I don't know, Portia fits her but so does Annie, so you've done a fab job of picking a name there. I feel so bad for her now, though - how on earth could her sister and James bully her enough that she feels ashamed of her own name? It's such an integral part of you and gah that's so mean of them. :(

Ooh yay and we get a Best Friend as well! This chapter is shedding loads of light on things. :D Even though we haven't seen her a lot and this is really our first time meeting her, Hattie already seems like such a real character and person and you've done a brilliant job making her come alive. Her friendship with Annie seems so realistic too, the way they sort of bonded because Hattie took Annie's side and how they got closer from there and how they're so different but alike too - it reminds me of a friend I had before moving, she was the social bird and I was Awkward Potato and she was such a lovely person who was always reaching out to others and someone who you just couldn't hate, that was so so relatable Mallory. :)

The flow throughout this chapter was really good as well, considering that the thing is broken up into several sections it all flowed really smoothly and none of it felt out of place and yeah, this was just such a fab chapter!

I can't badger you to update soon because you have (gah, hate having no wifi) so I'll say off to the next chapter!

ps. Aph, I still maintain that it wasn't fair! I had no wifi...*grumble* :P

Author's Response: EMILY MY LOVE!

Thank you so much for this beautiful review that you left me over five months ago! I am ever so sorry that I've only just now gotten around to answering!

SO happy you thought it was amazing! I wanted to give my character more of a personality and backstory, so that's what this was for. I'm glad it wasn't too clunky!

A NAME! Portia is her first name, but she prefers Annie because reasons... Her sister and James were awful to her, and that will come later...

Hattie is the sweetest thing, and I love her so much. I wanted her to seem real while also being kind of perfect, because that's how Annie sees her. I'm happy that their relationship seems real. They're such opposites, but it works for them. Ugh, I understand about being the Awkward Potato. It's good to have extrovert friends who reach out to you when you're being a hermit.

Thanks so much! I can't wait to answer the rest of your lovely reviews! :D ♥


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