Reading Reviews From Member: BookDinosaur
259 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: Losers Never Prosper

1st July 2015:
MALLORY NEW CHAPTER YAY please let this be first review. i know i should be helping with Family Feud but this was just too tempting.

oh my god, i loved this chapter. i loved the darker tone of it and the way you wrote these awful events. i didn't love what annie went through, of course, poor girl, but the way that you narrated the events and trials she was forced to go through in this chapter was really well done. it was enthralling to read - kind of like watching a catastrophe you just can't take your eyes off, you know? james was just magnetizing as he self-destructed, hah.

oh man, though, that boy is wasted. i wonder why on earth annie would even bother to tutor him when he was clearly just becoming more and more drunk - for that matter, i wonder why she waited for him for so long? did she just want to torture him, to make him think that shes kind before taking all those assumptions down? that would be the most vengeful thing she could do to him at this point, i think. but is annie that vengeful? hmm. idk

ugh, JAMES. his behaviour was deplorable, honestly. i suppose that he's just used to being popular with the girls that he didn't bother to ask what they thought - whether it was josephina or annie. i think you really brought out how selfish he is in this chapter, and how he was raised with himself in mind and not really anyone else. :/ gah.

re: your a/n, you did a really good job expressing how stealing kisses and/or anything else is a big no-no, and i appreciate that so much. in another story, the kiss might have been written as consensual, or at least the author wouldn't have pointed out how wrong it is, and i just really appreciate that you did. ♥

also, i feel like i have to mention how adorable ethan and hattie are. dropping the ring in chocolate gateau? the girl asking the boy? perfect, that is adorable and a much-needed cute break from the otherwise nasty things that happened in the chapter. this line in particular: I could hear the scarring sounds of Ethan and Hattie’s young passion. PERFECT. I LOVE IT. this made me laugh out loud, honestly.

anyway, i hope that this review made sense and that i didn't ramble too much! i loved this chapter, and i'm endlessly delighted that it came so quickly after i read the previous chapter. update soon!

♥ Emily

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Review #2, by BookDinosaurPlaying for Keeps: The Effects of the Modern Media

29th June 2015:
MALLORY!! please let this be 100th review. i am a terrible person for now reviewing this chapter earlier, gah. i'm sorry, forgive me?

oh, i love your descriptions of what it's like working in the retail industry! are all of these customers based on people that you've come across? i hope not, for your sake. :/ that mum didn't seem like a pleasant customer at all, and i sympathise so much with Annie so much in always having to put on a smile because the customer is always right. in that way, i suppose her job at the Shooting Star and her Quidditch shop job are quite similar, in that she continually has to deal with unpleasant people. poor girl ♥

ooh, what's going on with james here?? is he depressed over his bet with freddy? has he found out about annie being reruited? is he just down over his upcoming game? you kind of succeeded in making me feel bad for him, so thanks for that, i suppose. it really is a testament to your writing skill that you developed james so well - at first he was this douche that nobody really liked, and now we're feeling sorry for him. what next, mallory, am i going to be worrying about him??? who knows

aw man, i love the way you wrote rita skeeter into this chapter! of course she would still hold a grudge against the Potters, and of course she would vilify james with this bad match, even though he must have some modicum of skill to stay in the league for five years. The way that you wrote her article was perfect - your vv article in the QTR every month and now this, i think you have a knack for writing reporters, mallory. :P

i feel like the fact that annie says How bad could it be, anyway? means that it's probably going to be really bad. oh dear.

this was a lovely chapter, mallory! ♥ pls forgive me this terribly late and badly capitalised review!

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Review #3, by BookDinosaurHamartia: two.

28th June 2015:
i'm back. hi, lisa

oh my goodness, can i even tell you how amazing this story is? your skills when it comes to storytelling are so wonderful. your writing here is so evocative and your prose is amazing, and when i say that, i mean i could read this and imagine it all in my mind. your writing is beautiful and flowy and idk whether i can ever tell you this enough.

also, i am reiterating this: i am never believing anything you say about how bad you are at prose again. there was one line in particular which i adored: I kissed her and she thawed – a Galatea coming to life for me alone, her hands tangled in my flaming hair and her lips red velvet on mine.

your headcanons and descriptions of how the slytherin house behave were all so real, i believed them without any doubts - the way that they all closed ranks around amelia even though her sexuality might have been controversial for some of them really stood out to me, bc slytherin is a very united house, i think, and you wrote that in perfectly here.

again, i love the point of view you have going on here - the way that you're telling the story of the slytherins, but not just the slytherins, the slytherins who decided willingly to join voldemort's cause. your writing tells their story beautifully, and despite the choices they made - which villainised them completely in canon - they still seem human, which is a great achievement.

i hope that you decide to continue this lisa, bc you definitely have something here and i would love to read more!!

♥ Emily
House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

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Review #4, by BookDinosaurHamartia: one.

28th June 2015:
LISA!! I haven't reviewed this story and I've been meaning to for the longest time, so this amazing race is v fortuitous for me (maybe not so much for you bc you're going to have to put up with a lot of my crazyish rambling oops)

alright, you're off to an amazing start, honestly. i've read some of the older versions of this story on your ap (and not reviewed, shame on me) but seeing this and looking at the different ways that you're mapping out this story the decision to start anew makes sense and it doesn't feel like i'm just rereading stuff from before, you know? you've gone and improved and edited it, and this finished result is beautiful, honestly.

i love this dhange in prespective from what you normally see. i've never seen a story which deals with the children, really, who joined the dark lord's side willingly and this is such an interesting, fresh new take that's so enthralling to read.

i love your main character already. the way that slytherin actually does accept halfbloods but the way that amelia's hiding her parentage to fit in. she seems like someone who would be in slytherin house but you haven't turned her into a bunch of slytherin sterotypes, which is awesome.

last thing before i sign off, your description here is stunning. you always say that you can't write description, and after this i don't think i'm ever going to believe you again. read over the last couple of paragraphs in this chapter, lisa, and tell me that you're not good at writing description.

♥ Emily
House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

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Review #5, by BookDinosaurL'optimisme: Silence

13th April 2015:
Laura! I'm here to play catch-up, as promised, because I have time and only one Exploration left to do (it concerns Algebra; procrastination is my friend, and this is so much more pleasant, I think you'll agree).

Oh my days, I'm not entirely sure what to say or do. Nothing I can say will ever do justice to the story, so I should get that idea out of the way before I even start. I've been meaning to read this for ages but somehow I've never been able to get around to it, and I regret that so much now because - I could have been reading this ages ago, and I wasn't. That's pretty silly of me, no?

Honestly, though, where to start? The flow of this - I know you've said that words are only secondary to silence, but over the Internet words are pretty much the only way to communicate, and you nailed everything perfectly. The flow of this is amazing, and the words are arranged so beautifully - I mean, it feels like I'm reading art, or poetry. The words slip through my consciousness so smoothly and beautifully and I honestly have no words for the amazing way that you narrate this. Your prose is so gorgeous, I just want to read it forever - will you teach me your ways?

You characterised Albus perfectly, and I'm sure I'm only saying what everyone else who reviewed this story has said, but you really did manage to capture his character perfectly. On the one hand, the young man here is easily recognisable as Dumbledore, and his actions and thoughts are in character enough that a reader could look at them and agree that yes, this person could grow up to be the man in the HP series - and on the other hand, the narrative voice of the present-day Dumbledore is clearly Dumbledore.

I'm probably just confusing you so much with this, but what I really want to say is that even though Dumbledore is generally viewed as a pretty tough character to write, you've nailed him so perfectly in both his adolescent and adult forms.

Albus and Gellert aren't a pairing that I read that often, and again, I'm sort of cursing myself for it now. You do this so beautifully - expressing their relationship with one another, and the emotions truly do seem to jump off the page with this. I loved the description of mornings, and how they would take as much time as they could for themselves before Gellert would leave, and Albus would watch him go.

Your use of narrative here is genius as well - I don't know whether or not you're planning to keep Albus just remembering his time with Gellert, but your wordcraft and the way that you tell the audience what happens keeps it really interesting, I think, and their attention is held - or mine was, in any case. :P I imagine that it'd be pretty easy for a story to get boring when the narrator is an old man ruminating on his youth, but you've kept it beautifully fresh and a pleasure to read.

The battle scene was absolutely intense - your prose remained beautiful and serene, but somehow you kept suspense building and building until, finally, it released and your handling of that scene was absolutely masterful.

The emotions which permeated the whole piece were all so well done, too - honestly, I don't think that there's anything in this chapter that you haven't done perfectly, but the nostalgia and love and melancholy that Albus must be feeling as he writes all this down - it's absolutely spectacular, and I honestly have no idea how you do it.

I have no clue what to say to you, Laura, except that this was so, so beautiful and there's no way that I'm not coming back to this. ♥


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Review #6, by BookDinosaurCuriosity Is Not a Sin: Plausible Deniability

12th April 2015:
BvB Review Battle! Hi again, Branwen. :D

This chapter was so fun! A lot of the time, I think, authors don't really go into detail with the minutiae of Hogwarts life, you know - like scheduling Quidditch practice and talking about how nobody gets above an A for their first OWL-graded essay. That's the kind of conversation that's a part of every student's life, but not many stories show that, so I'm really glad that you did!

Oh my, I love your characters so much, you know. Even the supporting characters like Roxanne and James have been fleshed out and it's clear that you've taken your time to give each character attention and honestly, it's just a pleasure to read. I loved how James and Roxy both immediately condemned Scopius for calling Rose a coward - it's such a house-appropriate reaction, and made me laugh. :P

I actually love the fact that you've had Roxanne and James be the troublemaking duo in the year above Rose and Albus - I see a lot of Fred and James and a lot of authors seem to forget that Roxanne even exists, so this was a really nice change.

Oh my goodness, poor Scoripus! As someone who doesn't like Weasleys, having his hair the same colour as them all must be kind of terrible. And hah, James and Roxanne and Rose all made sure to have plausible deniability, they might have to consider Slytherin instead of Gryffindor!

I love the pace at which you're advancing the story. I think that with all your headcanons and the level of detail that you include in your story, which are both super impressive, it might be easy to get bogged down in the tiny things, but that's not happening with you. The story is advancing, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next!

Hopefully I'm going to be back in the near future, because I don't think that Scorpius will take this lying down and I'm looking forward to seeing what he does next!


Author's Response: Hi again, Emily! :)

I'm so glad you notice and like the emphasis I put on being a student at Hogwarts - I wanted to include schoolwork and Quidditch practice and that sort of thing, because for me, that's an important part of the setting that will have a significant impact on how Rose and Scorpius communicate with each other. They don't have unlimited free time, after all, and they're also in, you know - different houses. :P

I think James, Roxanne, and Rose are all in denial about how Slytherin-ish they can be sometimes. I mean, they're clearly Gryffindors, but come on, guys. You're not as different as you'd like to be.

Thank you so much for the review! ♥

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Review #7, by BookDinosaurYou Know I'll Always Love You, Tonks: Our Valentine's Day

11th April 2015:
Hello there Freda and/or Georgina, depending on which one of you reads this! This is the review that I owe you for entering this into my Songfic Challenge - please forgive me for the extreme lateness!

Oh my. When done right, Remus/Tonks is seriously one of my favourite pairings and this, I'm glad to say, is Remus and Tonks done right.

You chose such lovely moments to tell us about their relationship here, gah! I love the interactions between Remus and Tonks here - how sassy and spunky she is, and just how she won't put up with his rubbish when he talks about how Sirius is the one always getting the girls. As if she's in love with Sirius! :P And how she's so determined to have him sleep in the sofa but in reality she can't really stick to that, gah, it was all so sweet!

Your use of the song here was really well done, as well - I think the song and the story matched each other really well, tonally, and of course it's just a bonus point that this song was by a band called Ministry of Magic. :P I have to admit that I'd never heard of the song before listening to it while reading this fic, because the members of HPFF have such amazingly divers music tastes, but I really enjoyed listening to it, and I can definitely see how you could relate the lyrics to Remus/Tonks.

And speaking of the lyrics, I think that the way you used them, to partition off the different sections of the story, so to speak, was very clever and really well done. it can be hard to keep the flow going when you divide up scenes like you did with these song lyrics, but in this case I think you pulled it off. :)

Small things throughout the story that I absolutely loved: Remus and Tonks making a Valentine's Day for each other, and then remembering it - that is the sweetest.

Tonks tripping over her own feet as she goes into Remus' arms (and Remus' heart dancing like a mooncalf. Loved that).

Lucius being stupid and forgetting to call a midwife for Narcissa, so that they had to ask Andromeda for help - it's a fairly unrealistic situation, given that Andromeda was several years estranged from the family at that point, but I love the thought that she was present for Draco's birth. ♥

For your first songfic you handled it all really well and for your first Remus/Tonks this was amazing. We know what happens but, hahaha, that's what fanfiction is for, right? They're not dead, that's ridiculous. :)

Haha, but thank you so much for writing this and entering it into my challenge! Hopefully the results will be up on the forums soon. ♥


Author's Response: Hi Emily! This is Freda responding, but I'll make sure Georgina sees this too.

Yay; we did Remus/Tonks right! Yeah, Tonks is lots of fun, even though Remus really gets down on himself.

To be honest, at this moment I STILL have yet to actually listen to the song we/Georgina wrote this to! But from what I understand, I'm pretty sure the song was written about Remus and Tonks, so the lyrics should fit pretty well! ;) Glad the story didn't come off choppy either.

The midwife thing may be a bit of a stretch. I see Draco as being born a bit unexpectedly in the middle of the night or something.

Oh yeah SPOILERS! we know they don't make it, but we wanted to have a happy ending, so we stopped it there. Although naturally a happy ending here becomes bittersweet because we know they die. (We only vaguely hinted at that.)

Thanks for the review and the challenge; we're glad the song (and relationship) flowed well.


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Review #8, by BookDinosaurI Choose You: 1

11th April 2015:
Hello again Lo! ♥ A second review for a second entry, and I hope I'm forgiven for the lateness of both. :P

Oh my, this was so beautiful. I'm not crying you're crying. :') Just casually going to pretend that they didn't die, you know. As you do.

But seriously, this was amazing. The song was so perfect - I've heard this song before, actually, but I'd never have thought of matching it with James and Lily until now, and now I'm thinking that this song is perfect for them! Now whenever I hear the song I'm going to be thinking about James and Lily (and not crying. not one bit. not at all hahaha what makes you think that).

The use of lyrics was really clever as well - like your other story, you used the lyrics to partition off each section, each snapshot of James and Lily's time together, and the lyrics suit each section so perfectly, as well, and it just makes it that much more powerful and meaningful for the reader.

I love the way that you told this story, as well, how you kind of show their relationship growing in snapshots - but only snapshots, you didn't really specify what happened before or after because you didn't really need to, you give us enough context from each scene that we can see for ourselves how their relationship is growing and changing and I love that, I really do, I'm so jealous that you could pull it off!

Oh man, and I love the way that you characterised the two of them as well - James in particular I have a large soft spot for, because you've just portrayed him so well, like bringing Lily out to breakfast and forgetting the food, or boasting to Vernon about his broomstick when asked about his car. I love love love that you decided to illustrate his negative traits as well as his positive one, and the result is that you've managed to create an amazingly well-rounded character in this oneshot, and it's honestly such a delight to read.

The relationship between Lily and James was so sweet, and I loved it more than I can say. I love that you had Lily be perfectly aware of all of James' flaws, and consciously decide to work together around them, because she really does love him. James doesn't suddenly turn into the perfect guy for her like he does in so many other stories, and I love that.

Also, before I sign off, because I'm certain that I've rambled on for far too long, I love that Mary, one of Lily's friends, was against the relationship at first. I've never seen that in fanfic, but if I think about it it's a pretty realistic reaction, to be concerned for your friend, because this is a drastic change of face.

Anyway, thank you so much for writing this amazing story and entering it in my challenge! Hopefully the results will be up on the forums soon! ^.^


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Review #9, by BookDinosaurDeath Is Not The End: 1

11th April 2015:
Lo, oh my, I'm so sorry for this late review! It's not like I even have a good reason, I'm just terrible at getting things done on time - I desperately hope to have the results up very soon, if that helps? Sorry again!

Oh my days. I don't think I've ever read a story with a premise like this, you know? It's - well, it's very macabre, but at the same time I loved it so much. Chronicling the deaths of the Order members, just, wow. I would never have thought of this, the idea's so original so major kudos for you for coming up with this and pulling it off so beautifully.

Your use of the song lyrics was absolutely amazing, and so creative - using them as partitions, almost, to signal the changing of a scene, the introduction (and quick dispatch, hah) of a new character. So thatin itself is really ingenious and brilliantly done, and the song fits so well as well - tonally, the story and song match each other so well. I'm familiar with the Bob Dylan version of this song, but I hadn't listened to the Nick Cave & the Seeds version, and it was really nice to listen to while I was reading this.

Oh, and of course I have to comment on the ending. I think it's just so fitting that in the end, Harry and Ginny would be standing in front of the gravestones to mark his respect those who had gone before him. It's just nice to know, I guess, that if all those people had to die then they're going to be remembered in some way.

One typo that I caught at the end in the second-to-last sentence: [...] remembering the words he had heard so longago should, I think, be "so long ago." Other than that, I saw nothing!

Ugh, I think that this oneshot really did reinforce how many people died in the fight against Voldemort - it's so easy to overlook that, because, you know, they won in the end, and it's important to remember that winning doesn't come at a cost, and in this case all these lives were the price that was paid for victory.

This was beautifully done, Lo, thank you for writing it and entering it into my challenge! ♥


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Review #10, by BookDinosaurFull of Grace: It's Better This Way.

11th April 2015:
Hello! I'm here with your (late, late) review for entering this into my Songfic Challenge, I'm so sorry for the delay! It's not even like I have a good reason :/ But you posted in the BvB review Battle and I told myself to kill two birds with one stone by tagging you.

But I'm here now! And I really loved this. I really, really did.

A lot of the time, I think, stories will focus on teenagers or young adults, because a lot of the authors here are of or around that age. (Also because writing teenage angst is really quite fun.) But that means that the grief of the adults in the HP series is very often passed over, and it's unspeakably amazing to have a story like this, which focuses so much on Molly and her grief and rebuilding after the war.

You've characterised her so, so well here - the emotions in this piece really do jump off the page, and Molly seems so real; on one hand, the same wife and mother that we saw in the canon series, but on the other hand she's grieving so hard for her dead son. She pushes everyone away and eventually lets someone in, and I love how you showed us that she shut down, essentially, and relied on those normal household things to keep her sane - seriously, everything you wrote here was so real and so raw, and it was amazing to read.

And of course, we need to talk about the song since this was a songfic challenge. :P I have to admit that I've never heard of this song before you wrote this to it (the members of HPFF have such diverse music tastes, honestly!) but it suited the story so well, and your placement of the lyrics was beautifully done as well. ♥

Throughout this piece, your description was absolutely beautiful, as well, I'm in awe and also slightly jealous. Your words are all perfectly placed - I know you said it took a long time to write but I think it was certainly worth the time, this is stunning.

Ugh, I strongly suspect that this review ill have just said "i love x i love y" without being helpful at all, but yeah, this portrayal of a mother's grief was stunning, Beth, thank you for writing it, and for entering it in my challenge! ♥


Author's Response: Hi there Emily!

I've taken so long to respond to this that you've already posted the results of the challenge!

Thanks so, so much for this review AND for the challenge win! Even though it was a few weeks ago, I still smile when I think about it :D

I remembered from the OotP that Molly's boggart turned into each of her children dead on the floor of Number Twelve, Grimmauld place - and it was too much for her to bear. She couldn't overcome the fear of losing one of them (someone had to step in and take over). So that is kinda where I started with this.

Yay! I'm so glad you liked the song. I listened to it the entire time I was writing this - and I don't actually remember the number of times it played, but it was a LOT - haha!

Thanks again for running this challenge and thanks for this amazing review - gah!

♥ Beth

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Review #11, by BookDinosaurFalling Out: Not About Love

11th April 2015:
Hello! I'm here with a (terribly, terribly late) review for this story as an entry to the Songfic Challenge! It's not like I even have a reason, please forgive me for being so late.

Oh my, the pairing in this! I've only ever read one Rose/Draco before, and like this one, it ended rather sadly. It's such a - I hesitate to say weird, but it's definitely not in the realm of normal - odd pairing, for lack of a better word, and yet when it's written this well you can't really help but enjoy it. :D Or maybe that's just me, but still.

(I love the term May/December relationship. It's so poetic, oh my days and the metaphor things that you did with that was so perfect.)

But no, I need to talk about the song! This is a songfic challenge, after all. First things first: even if I can never remember the full name of that album of hers, I really enjoy the music that I've listened to, and this song was no exception! And then you've managed to do what most songfics aim to do and that's have the fic match the song so well, tonally, the two of them just feel right together. Like you're missing something if you don't listen to the music while reading this. (Am I sounding crazy? I'm sorry. I'll try to be more coherent.)

I love the way that you've stylised the lyrics as well - very poetic in the way that you've structured it.

I think you've done a fabulous job with the characters and their interactions - I can perfectly imagine Draco ending up like this in his middle age, sort of desperate, sort of broken, you know? And Rose - she's a bit flighty, well meaning but never wanting to settle down.

Their romance is something I find so, so realistic, the way that at first, when they met up, it was something secret and clandestine and Rose found it very exciting and Draco didn't have the time or the exposure to her for them to get on each others' nerves. And then when they moved their relationship from "affair" to "official" it's as though there was nothing really there for them any more, like all that was keeping the relationship alive was the secrecy and the thrill that came from that, if I'm even making sense, and that's something that a lot of stories centring around the 'forbidden romance' trope don't touch on, so thank you for that! It was so interesting and refreshing to read. I think this quote summed it up perfectly: "Without it, all she had was him, and he just hadn't been enough. 'Affair' had felt thrilling, made her feel so much older than twenty-one. 'Relationship' had felt confining, and only served to remind her how old he was."

Your descriptions are so lovely, as well. I kind of want to whine about how short it is, and how I want more, but at the same time this was satisfying, so it'd only be serving my own purposes to tell you that. :P It is short, but it's not too short.

I've probably rambled on long enough now; I have no idea how coherent I managed to be and I don't really want to look back and check. This story was so realistic and well-written, and a pleasure to read - thank you for writing it, and for entering it into my challenge! ♥


Author's Response: Hello! Oh my gosh thank you so much for this amazing review!

I really love this song because I think it captures the mood and nuance of this sort of situation SO perfectly, so I'm HUGELY glad that you think the story channeled the song and felt realistic :) I very much wanted to have the story flow out of the lyrics, rather than just being enhanced by them. Like, sort of as an extrapolation (every paragraph is just one of the lines fleshed out and given narrative). And I'm really happy you thought the lyrics worked well in context. I went back and forth on that, because I knew they had to be clearly distinct from the story for TOS reasons, but I still wanted them to feel like /part of/ the story so I went for a thing where it might read like Rose's internal monologue.

But yeah, definitely an odd pairing! I might have read the same story as you (Rose is an artist and they meet in a gallery?) I thought it was such an interesting idea, and I knew I wanted to do this song, and YEAH a Draco/Rose pairing sort of has to end badly so I decided it was perfect :P In an odd way, Draco/Rose is like everything that might go wrong in Dramione or ScoRose, with the added complication of a MASSIVE AGE DIFFERENCE.

I'm really glad you liked this interpretation of Draco! I too am very interested in an interpretation of him as sort of /broken./ I have two upcoming fics where middle-aged Draco crops up (to varying levels of sympathy) because it's such an interesting character to write! I'm also glad you picked up on Rose being a bit 'flighty.' It's not a characterization I often see, but one I can totally imagine!

The shortness of it is something pretty much every reviewer has agreed upon, but I'm glad you find it satisfying anyway :) Part of the reason for its brevity is that I wanted it to take as long to read as it takes to listen to the song, and tried when possible to kind of time them together? Like, very much emphasis on the Song aspect of SongFic.

Thank you SO much for hosting this challenge. I looked up songfics for the fundraising review challenge and like ALL of them were entries :P

And this review made me squee and grin like a fool :D


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Review #12, by BookDinosaurholocene.: the hallow bright.

11th April 2015:
Hello Kiana! I'm here with the review I owe you for taking part in the Songfic Challenge, please forgive me for being so late! I'm terrible, truly.

Oh, I love Draco/Astoria fics, especially the ones which come just after the War and which tackle the (pretty severe) issues that Draco and Astoria has to have been trying to get through. I mean, both of them were on the wrong side of the war, and both of them must have suffered a great deal of emotional and mental scarring as a result of that, and now that everything that they believed in has been taken away from them - well, it must have been so terrible to go through.

I love the way that you've divided up the song lyrics to describe different scenes, so clever! And the song fits the story really perfectly as well, or more precisely, it fits Draco's character really well - the way that he has so much trouble to forgive himself and move on after the war, and it's just so realistic as well and yeah, you just did an amazing job with that!

But speaking of Draco - I mean, we have to speak about Draco. You managed to get into his head so well throughout the entire story; I mean, the description was amazing and the way that you showed Draco relapsing was brutal.

I loved the relationship between him and Astoria, how she pretty much became his everything, how she sticks by him through everything, and how she's so willing to forgive him when he comes back to her and just wants him to be better - it was all portrayed so well.

Thank you for entering my challenge, and hopefully the results should be up soon! ♥


Author's Response: Hey there, Emily, it's fine as I understand what life can get like!

Aw, yay for Drastoria as they need more love as people seem to prefer Dramione to threse two :P I'm glad that you like that aspect of them two, as I imagine it must have been very traumatic for them to accept that they were on the wrong side of the war and that they both did bad things as it must be a lot to overcome especially when the entire society is watching your recovery.

Aw, thank you! I tried to do it the normal way, but it just wasn't working so then I played around a bit and came up with this way of doing it. I'm glad that you thought it fits in with Draco's character as he's such a lost person he just needs to find his way again and Astoria's the person to do it for him.

Aw, thank you so much! I'm glad you thought he was Draco like as he's a hard character to write at times as he never really reveals what he's truly thinking.

Aw, yes, those two always are adorable together! ♥ I'm glad that you liked them here though, as I always imagine them both saving one another as they both having something to build the other up.

Thanks for this great review and running the challenge as it was a lot of fun! ♥


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Review #13, by BookDinosaurThe Shadows Within: Prologue

10th April 2015:
Hey there! I'm here for the BvB review battle!

Oh my, this is such an interesting beginning to your story! I love love love that you decided to start your story off with this meeting rather than Marauder fluff, because this immediately sets the tone for the story, so that the audience has a strong grasp on the dangers which are going to be present within Hogwarts, even if the students themselves are unaware at first.

Your description of the house and the tension of the young group of Death Eaters was done really well, I think, and you built the atmosphere nicely. The way that all of them were so nervous, and that none of them knew what they had been called for, was really well done, and I loved the mention you put of everyone immediately being quiet as soon as he started speaking.

Oh wow, Voldie's plans really are insidious, aren't they? They're very clever, of course; he's right in his reasoning that young people are more likely to be reckless and uncaring of the dangers as well as being more expendable - and when I say "clever" I meant that in a purely objective sense, I promise. :P Voldemort doesn't have a conscience or any good in him, does he? He's honestly practically psychopathic, with his lack of empathy towards, well, anyone really.

This was a really intriguing beginning, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens later on in the story, so hopefully I'll be tagging you a bit later! :D


Author's Response: Hi Emily! Thank you for stopping by and reviewing. I'm glad you liked the atmosphere and felt like Voldemort was appropriately disturbing and smart, in his own twisted way.

Thanks for the lovely review. It left a smile on my face. =)

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Review #14, by BookDinosaurCuriosity Is Not a Sin: Albus's Guilt Trip

10th April 2015:
Hey Branwen, here for the BvB Battle! :D

Oh, I think I have to comment on your Rose first. There aren't many fics which portray her negative traits so obviously, so it's a really refreshing change to read about a Rose who is actually pretty judgemental and prejudiced. I can definitely see both Ron and Hermione in her, where a lot of stories turn her into something of a mini-Hermione, so I'm looking forward to seeing more of her!

I really like how you've written all the Weasleys, though - how there's something of a familial divide between them all, with James and Roxanne and Rose all on one side. The way you've written their interactions are really nice as well; they do seem like family in the way that they treat one another, like giving each other a hard time for something and then letting them off the hook, it kind of reminds me of my older cousins. :P And I like that you only mention about four of the Weasley/Potters in this chapter, because with a family as large as theirs it makes sense that there would be smaller groups who keep in touch, you know?

And oh, man, the Scorbus bromance is getting to me. ♥ Those two. I find it so lovely how Al can be so open-minded towards other houses, and how he has red hair! I mean, JK does say that he looks like Harry, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have red hair, or something. I don't know. :P It was a touch out of the ordinary, and I really liked it.

Oh my days, Scorpius is so annoying towards Rose! Like, I get it - I would probably be doing all that I could to annoy Rose if she was acting like that towards me, but since Rose is sort of our narrator, it does seem very mean of him to be so obnoxious. :P

Oh, but that's another thing I wanted to mention, I think that you really do have Rose down well as a character. There are some things, like Scorpius' teasing, which from an objective viewpoint actually does make sense and is kind of justified, but from Rose's point of view you've really managed to convey to the reader how aggravating she finds it, so you've done a really great job getting into her head, kudos to you there!

I've rambled on long enough, but hopefully I'll tag you again soon because I'd love to read more of this story! ♥


Author's Response: Hey, Emily!

I'm so glad you're liking Rose - I've definitely gotten reviews before from people who basically said, "I love this story, but Rose is so terrible, I hate her!" Which... um, thanks? I guess? Maybe?

I mean, yeah - I definitely intentionally wrote Rose so that her flaws would be on full display, because I think that's important... and, honestly, because I think that often people love us for our flaws as much as our virtues. She's definitely got some of her mother in her as well (buried a little deep down, right now, but it's there!), but yeah, the mini-Hermione never made sense to me.

I definitely wanted to avoid the "We're a huge clan of Weasleys" thing in this story. I've got most of them pretty fleshed out in my head, and they do make their appearances in this and other stories, but I feel like when people try to squeeze a lot of them into one story, it can often end up meaning that there's not the same opportunity to develop each other them as a character. So while I love them all, I generally try to go for depth rather than breadth in individual stories. (It also helps that in my headcanon, Teddy (who sort of counts?), Victoire, Fred, Molly, and Dominique have all started their careers at this point. :P)

I'm also so happy you liked the Scorbus bromance! I love writing those two - they're so much fun together. (In the sequel, actually, James and Scorpius have had a couple similar moments, which is REALLY REALLY WEIRD. You two are not allowed to have a bromance. When did that even happen?)

Ahem. Anyway.

Thank you so much for the review! ♥

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Review #15, by BookDinosaurMultiverse Theory: Speakeasy Jazz

10th April 2015:
Ooh, hello again Mallory! I do feel quite accomplished at having reviewed all of this in one day, even if I did take almost the whole day to do it (not the whole day, so to speak, but I had the tab open all day and kept coming back and flitting away).

Anyway, I really liked this! Lily in this story was so headstrong and seductive, haha, it did make me laugh but at the same time I loved it. I'm such a sucker for the extrovert Lily (for lack of a better word, but I've reiterated this enough time that surely you'll understand what I mean).

I admit, I had to Google 'speakeasy' because I've never heard of these things before, but when I finally did get a handle on what it was (retro bars, right? this isn't an actual speakeasy from the Prohibition era, was it?) it seemed to fit very well - the people who wanted ALL THE ALCOHOL, oh dear, poor James! He reminded me a bit of Annie from PFK, with all these unpleasant customers to deal with on a regular basis. I suppose he should be glad that none of them are trying to force their attentions on him the way some guys treat Annie.

Aww but of course James would be doing this to raise money for Remus! I love that you've had him contract lupus in these modern muggle AUs - I mean, not love, obviously, as that's very unfortunate for Remus, but it's a very clever nod towards canon. That's what I meant, I swear, I don't hate Remus. D: I'm tired out from supporting the Broncos. :P

Anyway, I love the interaction between the two. James does seem very tired (more tired than me, even!) but Lily seems wide awake, and also not drunk at all which calls into question why she was visiting the bar - for a certain handsome bartender, perhaps? Well, I think she might be a little surprised at his sprit when he's not worked nine hours and wants to impress her. >:D

I love the atmosphere that you've managed to capture, here - it seems a lot more like PFK than your other chapters, possibly because of the bar setting and the (slightly) similar situations that James and Annie are in. I think you really have managed to capture the essence of the bar, and not just that but from James' point of view as well, if that makes sense? Like the music that fills the air and then the sudden blaze of red in front of him when Lily asks for a drink, that makes an impression on his tired mind - you really managed to get inside his head, I think, so major kudos to you there!

This was beautiful, and I'm so sad that it's over. Maybe consider expanding a couple of these? :P Either way, thank you for bringing these over from Tumblr and showing us all the true magic of modern Muggle Jily AUs. ♥


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Review #16, by BookDinosaurMultiverse Theory: Road Trip Blues

10th April 2015:
Ooh, hello again Mallory! This was different, but different in a good way, I swear.

The Broncos have just won a very dramatic game against the Roosters (don't bother yourself about it, it's the rugby league) and the bottom line is that I'm very happy (seriously; it went into golden point extra time, and there were four hopeless kicks, and then a try - and yeah, there was a lot of screaming going on in my house). So if this review is a bit loopy, please forgive me. ♥

Oh wow, I love love love the way you've characterised them here! Lily the quiet sassy prankster is a characterisation of her that I love, because I really don't think that she was as nice or quiet or as model a student as a lot of authors portray her to be - although tuna salad in someone's hair, and a prank war without being fired completely seems to mean that she's good at covering these things up.

Heh, of course he blames Sirius for everything. Everyone blames Sirius for everything. Poor Srius. :P

I really like how you've written these two. It seems so realistic, the way that they interact and talk to each other. We've only been with these characters for a while, but somehow you managed to let the readers know that something was off with him, how he used to play pranks and now how Lily's accusing him of being no fun, it all seemed very realistic.

And then, of course, when we realise why - his excuse of growing up and changing and taking his job seriously, I mean, it fits, doesn't it? The kind of thing he's going through, how his mother's dying, that does tend to make someone grow up a bit faster. So he wasn't really lying when he said that to Lily.

Oh man, but the two of them are so cute! How Lily comforts him, even though she doesn't really know how, and how he felt like she was keeping him together - it was darker material, but still with the Jily adorableness that you're so good at creating.

On to the next chapter! :D


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Review #17, by BookDinosaurMultiverse Theory: Dorm Life Tango

10th April 2015:
MALLORY! :D :D :D This was so so adorable. My heart is melting and I AM BECOMG A PILE OF FEELS but that's okay. :D because it was this story which caused my transformation, and that makes all the difference.

But seriously, this was adorable. I'm going to be out of chronological order here, because I just have to mention the end - OF COURSE James would be bothering fellow students to try and get Lily to notice him, oh dear! That's both adorable and...I kind of want to say ridiculous, but it's not ridiculous. It's just adorable. Despite the Gryffindor bravery, this fits really well, I can so imagine him doing this. And Sirius just playing along! Yes, this fits perfectly.

Oh, I really love the small nods to canon you keep putting in, like Lily and Remus being RAs and Remus trying to keep the other three out of trouble. Is Remus in love with Sirius in this universe, too?

Oh, I bet James only named his pieces Roses and Daffodils so as not to be obvious about his liking for Lily. But then again... "I happen to love flowers, thanks very much,” so maybe he's not as subtle as he thought, hahaha. Of course he's not as subtle as he thought, the silly thing.

Somehow, I love your casting him as a musician. He seems to fit very well as a musician - and your portrayal of college kids made me laugh.

And the two of them getting on each others' nerves mirrors canon so well! How Lily wants something more secure, like a scientist, and James is willing to take up the slightly less secure path of a musician - it suits their canon personalities so well, and I think we should just officially crown you to be the Queen Genius of Jily Modern Muggle AUs.

Thank you for writing this! These AUs are a delight to be reading. :D


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Review #18, by BookDinosaurle ciel saigne pour nous. : la lune et l’étoile.

10th April 2015:
BvB review battle! :D I've been wanting to catch you for a while now.

Ugh, I had such a difficult choice when I went onto your page, Kiana? Which one, Ides of March or your new oneshot? But then, how could I ignore a oneshot with this beautiful title? le ciel saigne pour nous. So I had to pick this one. ♥ I'll tag you again later, hopefully, and catch up on Ides of March.

First things first, I have to comment on the French - the title, and the names of the different sections of this story, it's all so beautiful. This might just be my bias towards the French, because I love the language so much, but I really do think that it was such a beautiful thing to name your story.

I've never seen or read a Scorpius/Victoire before, and it seems like a really interesting pairing so I'm glad that you introduced me!

The snapshot style that you told this story in really suited the story, I think - you really only show us a few moments from Victoire and Scorpius' relationship, but it's enough to let us know what happens and the eventual heartbreaking end to it and although this was pretty short, especially compared to some of your other stuff, but it felt satisfying, you know? It was short, but you used your words magnificently, is what I'm trying to say. It wasn't too short.

Oh my, and the style of this piece! It all flows so beautifully. Every word has it's place - this piece actually reminds me a bit of the Every Word Counts challenge entries, if you know what I mean, because it's true, every word does count in this piece and every word seems to have been used for a purpose, you know? And yeah, the whole thing flows so beautifully and I'm just in awe.

And how could I review this piece without mentioning the symbolism? The way you kept on equating their relationship with the sea, and making the sea such a large part of their relationship, as the place that they meet - it's absolutely amazing, and I'm in awe.

Oh, and the ending - the ending is just heartbreaking. You kind of make me want to root for these two, because the snapshots of their relationship gives the feel of a dark, sort of forbidden romance and when Victoire's so uncertain, when she says that she doesn't know - it's so sad, and so Scorpius leaves her. And somehow, that's even sadder.

Ugh, you've made me feel so many things with this oneshot, Kiana, I hope you're happy. This was absolutely amazing though, and I'm so glad that you're starting to write again!


Author's Response: Hey there Emily!

Hahaha, I'm sorry about making it difficult, but you can always catch up with The Ides of March with the challenge reviews if you want? :P

Aw, thank you! I'm totally biased when it comes to French as it makes everything so beautiful and so much more wonderful than English ever could. As I said in an earlier review response, I think French could even make Dramione somewhat enjoyable! :P

Aw, you're welcome, I read a Victoire/Scorpius one-shot by justonemorefic before and it was just so enchanting that I had to write one myself.

Yaya, I'm glad that you liked it as it was a lot of fun to write it that way. I get what you mean and I'm glad that you said that, because I wanted to leave a mystery with their relationship and try and show not too much and leave the reader guessing so I'm so glad that it wasn't too short as I really didn't go deep into the detail of it. :P

AW, thank you! It was originally meant to be for that challenge which is probably why it has some similarities but it needed to be extended as it felt a bit incomplete, so I think it's about 200 words or so over. :)

Hahaha, thank you!! ♥ I had a lot of fun including it though I blame philosophy for it as we were just looking at religious symbolism which was a lot of fun so, like usual, philosophy ended up appearing in my writing, albeit in some abstract way.

I know I'm sorry :( But for me, they could never work out as they're too passionate and toxic almost so they always have a very intense but very short relationship in my head and I've never been able to change that.

Thanks for this amazing review, Emily, it really made me smile and yay for writing again! :D


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Review #19, by BookDinosaurMultiverse Theory: Pre-Wedding Masque

10th April 2015:
MALLORY! I ran out of gushing compliments, and Google's solutions were terrible, so here's a heart, instead: ♥

Oh my, this might have been my favourite yet! Like you, I can't really resist the fake-dating trope, especially between characters I like, so this was pretty much perfect.

The relationship between James and Lily here is a bit different from your other chapters so far, I think, as they already seem to be pretty good friends - the banter between them flows so well, Mallory, have you sold your soul to become good at everything? :P - and the interaction between the two of them is just comfortable, which I suppose is what you were aiming for.

Oh my, and they're alreay so cute! "I thought you said I didn't have to hold your hand," haha. PLOT TWIST: This is all just an excuse for Lily to hold James' hand. The wedding is an excuse. Her sister is an excuse. All that matters is James' hand. (Sorry, I've just been reading gothic posts on tumblr. I think they've rubbed off on me.)

Oh my, but James is secretly thinking about WANTING to hold Lily's hand! SECOND PLOT TWIST: He's a criminal mastermind and set Vernon up with Petunia and kept guys away from Lily so that this would happen! Patently unrealistic and also quite creepy. Possibly not the best plot twist.

Hahaha, we didn't even meet Vernon and Petunia and I love the way you characterised them! Of course Petunia would be enough of a snob to be impressed by football captain and law enforcement, hah. Although I wonder what caused the rift between her and Lily in this universe? Perhaps it was that Lily got a scholarship to a fancy school and Petunia didn't? Interesting indeed.

I think it says something about Lily that James was the first person she thought of the be her fake boyfriend. *eyebrow wiggle*

Aww, Remus is in love with Sirius! Remus is totally in love with Sirius. One sentence and you warmed the cockles of my heart, Mallory. WolfStar 5evah.

How on earth did Peter get the name The Chedder Meister? I think you might have to expand this chapter, Mallory, I love this premise so much and I have questions.

Last thing before I sign off: Vernon the fat, sexist walrus. That is a simply perfect description of the man. :D

Thank you for writing this, and next chapter, here I come!


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Review #20, by BookDinosaurThe Defenders: Prologue

10th April 2015:
Hello! Here for the BvB review Battle (Team Blue, amiright?)

Ooh, this is certainly a cryptic start to your story! It certainly seems to be a very original premise and from the dates that the story seems to be set in, I can't think of anything canon which happens in that time. It's not often that an author decides to write something that's not part of canon, as I think you might be doing (as far as I can tell :P) so I'm definitely keen to see where you go with this!

Clara seems to be pretty impulsive - I mean, I don't think I would ever be brave enough to join this group without demanding what on earth they stood for, haha! But still, Defenders of the Light is an intriguing name, and I understand why she would trust them, especially when he said he knew her grandfather.

You managed to introduce the characters really well and I think even at this early stage you've managed to give them characteristics that help people define them so that they don't all blur into one person, if you know what I mean? Handling ensemble casts can be really difficult, but I think you've got a good handle on it. :D

And I loved seeing Slughorn's little cameo. :P I wonder what on earth he does for this organisation? I didn't think he'd be brave enough to join, so definitely looking forward to seeing some of his story from before the HP series!

This is a really good start to your story, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!


Author's Response: Hello! (Team Blue FTW!!!)

Thank you so much for your amazing review! I am definitely smiling like an idiot right now!

I'm so happy you've found it original - that was definitely the aim when I began with this story! I know it's not and I am wondering whether I am very brave or perhaps silly for doing something non-canon but we'll see! But I know I am enjoying writing it so I am definitely carrying on!

Me neither but with her now having no family, I feel as though she thinks she has nothing to lose by joining and with her grandfather having been apart of it, she somehow trusts the organisation on some level already! The name came out of nowhere! I wish I could say it meant something specific but it just seemed catchy enough to work! But yes, that's definitely a reason as to why she trusts them!

Thank you! I was nervous introducing so many characters in one character but I'm glad they come across as defined! I do know what you mean so thank you! The ensemble cast is one of the things that worries me but I think i'm doing okay with it for now!

It's not Horace Slughorn who i've included, just an ancestor of the Slughorn name just to clear any confusion up - I would have loved to include dear Horace but the time period is a bit too early! Well, I needed a potions master and I figured that I could use the Slughorn name, with it being familiar so there are some links to later canon. And I do love Slughorn so I wanted to include an earlier member of the family!

Thank you so much for taking the time to review - I was so nervous about this story but you've definitely put my mind at ease that I've done the right thing in publishing it!


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Review #21, by BookDinosaurMultiverse Theory: Lunchtime Capriccio

10th April 2015:
MALLORY! My sun and stars, moon of my life! ♥ (Sorry, GoT references. Do you watch GoT? Season Five comes out in two days! :D :D :D)

Oh my days, I have to admit that I haven't read many genderbending stories but this seems like a good start!

Ugh, okay, to get it out of the way first: characterisation. Seriously, I think you know by now how important it is to me, especially in an AU where the characters are one of the only things we do recognise in the story, and you just did such a perfect job with this: how Lael was quiet and somewhat bullied, and didn't trust Janet when she said that she fancied him, and then Janet's hotheaded admission, without thinking about how Lael might react and just, yeah, it's really interesting!

And, of course, how Janet is the captain of the boys' lacrosse team because she beat everyone else into submission, hahaha! That was a perfect touch.

I loved the storyline of this, though, the often-seen confident + shy, but with a confident girl and shy boy, rather than the other way around. I suppose that's the purpose of genderbending, but it really did provide and interesting juxtaposition to canon and the normal stereotypes that I see, of confident guy + shy girl.

Also, Lael is so awkward around Janet! "Your meaning is unclear to me," oh my days, how adorable and kerfuffly and cute. Anf ugh, of course Janet would have literally no clue on how to go about wooing a boy and then start pranking him mercilessly, oh dear. So terrible at interpersonal relations. :P

Oh, and sticking them both in prep school was quite genius, and a lovely nod to canon. :D

Looking forward to chapter four!


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Review #22, by BookDinosaurMultiverse Theory: Bookstore Interlude

10th April 2015:
Hello, Mallory, light of my life and beauteous author of all things Jily, modern, and muggle. :D

Oh man, this was so fluffy. I think that everything you write in this collection is going to be fluffy and I'm slowly going to dissolve into a pile of melted warm and fuzzy feels and nobody will mind because I'll be much more pleasant towards them in that form. :D

But seriously. Your description in this is just perfect - the way that you described the bookshop for us, you managed to capture the atmosphere of it perfectly, like in this quote: piles of books on stout end tables, books on shelves that ran the perimeter of the room with their spines lined up like stiff sentinels, comfy armchairs inviting her to sit and stay awhile. But more than just capture the atmosphere, I think you managed to capture Lily's point of view perfectly and tell the audience how she saw it, as a sanctuary against the outside world.

Oh, and I've said this before and I'll probably say it again and you're probably sick of me saying this by now but your characterisation of James and Lily is just so perfect! I love the idea of James suffering through working in a bookshop despite disliking reading, haha! And I quite liked the touch that you added, saying that he disliked customers who read the books but didn't buy them - coming from something of a privileged background, that absolutely makes sense in canon. :D

Honestly, the interaction between the two of them is pretty brief - they barely introduce themselves to each other, after all - but it all flowed really well and none of the dialogue seemed stilted or out of place and it still felt fine to read (possibly because we know they're soulmates :P ).

Anyway, thank you for writing this! And if this is for Jily writing week, are there only going to be seven chapters? (You should write more. I haven't even read them all but I know you should write more.) (Not trying to pressure you or anything.) (But you should definitely write more.)


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Review #23, by BookDinosaurMultiverse Theory: Coffee Shop Etude

10th April 2015:
Hello, Mallory! Much like Lily, I'm promising myself that I will get through this story within a very productive time given that I'm usually the slowest reviewer EVER - seven chapters, I'm so behind, this is terrible and I am so sorry.

Okay, I think that from my review on Aesthetic Alterations we both know that I'm a big fan of modern muggle Jily AUs, especially as they seem to be such a rare beast on this site and I'm too scared to search them up on other sites for fear of running into those terrible fics which give fanfic a bad rep. I'm SUCH a coward. :P

Anyway, this is amazing! The way you've characterised James and Lily gave me warm and fuzzy feels all over - somehow a jazz musician seems to suit James perfectly, and being good at improve! Such an amazing touch, Mallory I loved it. :D And hahaha, he's such a charmer, turning Lily's request into more music for a request of his own for coffee - I love it, hehe.

And I loved the way you characterised Lily as well; I particularly liked that she didn't really wait around for James but called him over - I have a firm headcanon that Lily wasn't as quiet or as good a girl as the teachers always believed her to be, haha! And writing a romance novel even though she hasn't had any experience with romance herself, and wanting to be one of those Great Artists - Lily the overachiever.

As I've said before, I think you did a fab job with incorporating canon characteristics into these people even while changing the setting, so major kudos to you there! And, of course, you managed to capture the part where they're soulmates (because they ARE soulmates) so perfectly. :D

The whole atmosphere of this story was so warm and cosy and fluffy, though, possibly because it took place in a coffee shop, but I think that you really managed to capture the relaxed atmosphere or the story perfectly here.

This was adorable and fluffy and made me smile, Mallory, and it's onto the next chapter I go! :D


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Review #24, by BookDinosaurStardust: Stardust

10th April 2015:

Also, I agree with you about Lavender not having died. She didn't die, so that fanfic authors could put her through mental torment on her way back to health...

...or that might be just me. :P You are far kinder to her!

I love Lavender after the Battle (as you already know, oops) and reading about her in this was just - so, so amazing. You are so amazing. And you wrote Parvati/Lavender! I have so many feels for this ship, be it Brotp or OTP, because they were such good friends and they could be more, you know? They COULD HAVE BEEN.

Trying to stay coherent, here. I've already backspaced on four paragraph starters because I'm honestly not sure what to say in the face of your amazing authorness.

I adored the way you linked everything back to the stars and space and the cosmos - just because it's such an interesting thing to link to Lavender, you know, but for this story it fit so well. The way you used stars and black holes to get the point of Lavender's mental and emotional state across to the reader; it actually really does fit well, especially if you compare her mental absences to "spacing out" and yeah that was just such an amazing comparison to draw!

Oh my DAYS, though, your prose in this. Your description. This was so, so amazing, and everything flowed so beautifully. Every word had it's own place, you know? Everything fit so perfectly, and I am both in awe and envious of your skillz. Your descriptions of space are so perfect, and the way they link back to Lavender have me in awe. This quote - "You lived like a comet and when you died, you died in as many cosmic colors as are in your name. And now you exist in a state of your own design, a mottled, destroyed supernova burning out at a toxic rate." Just, how?

I love love love your characterisations of the two of them - Parvati and Lavender, Parvati so patient with her waiting, so supportive and loving - and I absolutely love the way you've written her love - and Lavender, Lavender who doesn't want to be touched any more, who doesn't want to be loved and who gave up her dreams of starting a family - it's just all so perfect.

As you said, this is different from what you've written before, but it's definitely a good different, and I'm so glad that you're experimenting with your style because it made this and this is amazing.

Thank you for writing this, Mallory! ♥


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Review #25, by BookDinosaurAesthetic Alterations: Library Aesthetic

10th April 2015:
Hello, Mallory! Finally here to hopefully review spree your page - you've put so much new stuff up while I've been busy with NaNo! I was originally planning to wait until May 1st and then review-bomb you, but then I remembered you already know I'm counting reviews as part of Camp, and I was like, why wait? So expect quite a few reviews from me in the near future, pls. :D

So, this was simply amazing. :D That was a terrible way to start the review. My teacher's always telling me never to simply describe the object I'm analysing but to offer good reasons for it. Sorry, this review's probably going to be a bit wonky, I've just about fried my brain with holiday homework and I still have my Exploration to do for algebra. Fun, right?

Anyway, I really did love this. I don't see many AUs on this site, and definitely not many modern muggle AUs, so to see one of my favourite pairings in the modern muggle world (and not dead, yay!!) was both kinda weird and super exciting. :D

We don't get much characterisation on James and Lily from the HP novels apart, but I think the way that you've changed their locations but still managed to characterise them was really good - the way that James still has several recognisable traits, like ruffling her hair up when he's nervous or caring enough about his friend to go to a library and research lupus.

I actually think that with Lily, you've touched on a very interesting issue that not many authors really talk about, how people have a tendency to try and change themselves - whether that's for society, to fit a stereotype, or to feel more beautiful, in some cases, a lot of people do try change their own personalities and the effects of that can be really interesting to explore and you did an amazing job with that issue, Mallory. :D

And since this was written for the Logophile's challenge (which in the end defeated me; I couldn't get an entry in, boo) I feel like I should touch upon your use of the word 'aesthetic' within the story. I feel like even though this wasn't really what I expected when I clicked on the story knowing you had written it around the word aesthetic, you still managed to work the word into the story in a really interesting way. You've shaped your story around the word so well that, I think, it wouldn't be the same without that word, and that was the point of the challenge, wasn't it?

I think one question that I had about James was why he went to the library? Maybe it's just me being stupid and missing something, but Lily clearly does establish that Google is something that he can use, and somehow I feel like it would be easier for James to use Google rather than go to the library? But if that's something you want me to ignore, I will. :P

Oh, and can I just say that the professions that you picked for these two were so perfect?! James as the police officer in training and Lily as the librarian - it's positively perfect. :D

And of course, before I sign off, I have to comment on that pickup line James used. It made me grin like an idiot because it's so James. You are a genius for working that in.

And I've probably rambled on long enough, but this oneshot was seriously sweet and very perfect, and I can't wait to read the rest of the new stuff you've put up, Mallory!


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