Reading Reviews From Member: Chivalrous
  
71 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ChivalrousThe Red Haired Witch: Chapter One

22nd November 2014:
Oh wow...

This was amazing! Your descriptions are so tangible and realistic, it's amazing! I really loved your description of the things in Borgin and Burke's in the beginning. Also props to you for thinking of all those Dark objects. As I was reading, I was just like, "Oh my golly, you are awesome."

I'm not too much of a grammar buff, but I know a thing or two and so I can say pretty confidently that your grammar was good! Nothing at all struck me as bad!

I really love the deep descriptions of your writing style, but you may want to be wary of how wordy your descriptions become. I hate to say that, because the descriptions are amazing, but some readers may get lost in all the words which leads to them skimming over huge paragraphs of your amazing writing. I used to always do that when I wrote and then my Beta was the one who made me change my style. So now when I have huge chunks of information like that, I try breaking them up into many short paragraphs (kind of like lines of poetry) so then the reader doesn't feel so overwhelmed.

Another note that kind of coincides with what I said before, breaking it up also helps with the pacing of the story. Sometimes when I was reading I felt like the story was a bit rushed and hurried. So be careful of that as well!

But I LOVED your tone! When you write, I could feel whatever Ganymede was feeling and to be writing in third person POV that's pretty impressive!

Speaking of Ganymede, your characterization was awesome! I absolutely loved Ganymede and I honestly identified with her. I have an older sister and I used to always feel overshadowed by her (we're cool now though, like I'm not going to drain her happiness with a magical glove or anything ha ha). Ganymede was a despicable character in a beautiful way. She did these horrible things, but as a reader I felt for her. I wanted her sister to perish and I wanted Ganymede to take over the family estate. I loved the ascension and the descent of her life (before Tom freed her). It was startling and powerful.

Tom and Callista were wonderful minor characters! Tom was perfectly placed and beautifully in canon. Callista though I wished I had a little more information on. She was a villainous type, but I always wanted more from her. Why did she hate her sister so much? Why did she want the family estate so badly? I loved her as a villain, but I always want a reason for why the villain is the way he or she is.

I loved the little allusions you sprinkled throughout the story especially the ones concerning Tom. Those were excellently placed and awesome.

And that ending line! That was killer! That one line sold the story for me. I'm such an end line person. I love it when the end line just completely rips apart the whole happy ending type deal. I'm not a "happy ending" type writer and so that line just hit me right in the feels!

All in all this was a beautifully written read and I'm so glad that I chose it! I hope I wasn't too harsh and I want you to know that you're an amazing writer and please don't ever stop or let anyone tell you any different!

Sincerely,
Ireland

Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review!
One of my favorite parts of writing HPFF so far is the license to paint the background with unusual objects or trinkets. They usually never serve as anything more than a descriptive tool to set a scene, but it's fun nonetheless to sit back from the keyboard and think about odd things to fill a room with. I'm happy to see that you enjoyed their presence. :)
I warned you that my work is criminally wordy at times. Haha. I agree that it can be off-putting or overly laborious for some readers, but as much as I try to whittle down long passages or break them up, there seems to be no ridding them from my work completely. I may be too in love with the sound of my fingers on a keyboard. ;)
I agree with you in the pacing. This was my first short story in a very long time, and I think some portions read at a speed that doesn't fully coincide with the pace of the story. I'll figure it out someday.
I intentionally left Callista's sins and motives a bit vague. I think it helps to subtly paint Ganymede as a potentially unreliable narrator. The goal was to give the reader pause, to wonder if Callista really deserved what Ganymede did, or if Gany was lashing out at an unkind but possibly not completely deserving sibling.
I too am fond of stories that end with a bit of a sting, that have a resolute closure that doesn't necessarily lend itself to being 'happy.' I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Again, thanks for the review. You weren't harsh at all, and said a couple of things that I was at least partially aware of myself.
Happy you enjoyed it! Til next time!


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Review #2, by ChivalrousString Theory: chaos theory.

29th October 2014:
This is amazing! Please post soon, because I need more! :) This is one of the funniest NextGens I've ever read and your characters are awesome! Again post soonnn! :)

Author's Response: i'm so glad you think so! i'll try to update soon; thank you for reading and reviewing! c:

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Review #3, by ChivalrousMy (Fake) Wedding: I Explain Everything

28th October 2014:
I absolutely adore how sweet James is to Elle! It's just precious! :) You write them both beautifully!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad that you think so, I always feel insecure about the two of them and whether I've made them be so contradictory through my writing.
Thanks for a lovely review!

~Aimee xxx


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Review #4, by ChivalrousEternity: Eternity

19th October 2014:
I loved it! Even though I'm still not sure who the narrator was... Please excuse me I'm a little ditsy! Haha! But really this was amazing and I loved the poetry style writing and the repeated words! You're amazing Alena! :)

Author's Response: Oh thank you so much! This review warmed my heart. I was a bit nervous that it wouldn't make much sense, and the narrator's still a bit foggy, but I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

You really are wonderful darling.

Much, much, MUCH love,

Alena


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Review #5, by ChivalrousMy (Fake) Wedding: 19th June 2026

14th October 2014:
I LOVE IT! Post soon!

Author's Response: YAY! So, so happy that you are! It makes me super giddy and glad on the inside whenever I read good reviews! :D

~Aimee xxx


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Review #6, by ChivalrousCarina: Carina

11th October 2014:
Okay first off, I can honestly say that is one of the best one-shots, I've ever read.

I came into it with a little trepidation, because I thought it might just be one of those Tom was in love and then he became evil, because this girl died, blah, blah, blah. That was not this.

I loved the way you wrote Tom. You made him so twisted and malicious that he remained canon, but I could see where you embellished him and certain traits of his.

Carina was a wonderful OC. She had her demons and her battles, and it made her seem real. She was twisted in her own way and it really made her and Tom's relationship tangible.

The pacing was perfect! It was 6000 and some odd words, but I never skimmed over one. I think that if it had been slower, it just would have dragged out a little too much. The fast pace, really kept me on the edge of my seat while reading and held my attention well.

The plot was perfectly executed. I loved how it was out of chronological order! It really added a little finesse to the story and the way it was told. That being said, it didn't even seem out of place! Everything seemed to fit together exactly like it was supposed too.

All-in-all, this was a wonderful read and I'm so glad I decided to click on this link in the forums! You are a wonderful writer and never let anyone tell you different!

Author's Response: Ahem *coughs hastily* I may or may not have jumped out of bed with a grin and a blush at your lovely review. Just a little. Basically, I can't thank you enough for your kind words especially considering how much I was bricking it when I submitted it for validation.

Ugh. I know all about those Toms you speak of. No offense to the writers who depict him like that, but my Tom doesn't fall in love and then decide to get over his heartbreak by killing people right, left and center. He prefers to obsess over Carina instead and doesn't allow her to influence his plans whatsoever. Personally, I find Tom fascinating and he may be one of my favourite characters. Is that disturbing? But anyways, he is still an insanely difficult character to write because I was panicking half of the time about whether I was even selling him as Tom. So I'm glad you loved the way I wrote him. It makes me happy to know that I am not a failure.

As for the structure of the one shot- well, lets say I'm fond of it too. I don't trust myself to be able to pull off something like their story as a novel so I settled for this. I'm glad it worked out. I think it's miles better this way.

Once again, thank you so much for the amazing review!! You are far too kind :)

Dirigible_Plums xo


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Review #7, by ChivalrousGet in Line: Fire and Flight

24th September 2014:
I absolutely adore this! I just wanted to say that I totally called the Polyjuice Potion thing. I have a feeling that Mitch has thing for Hazel more than anyone else thinks. The more Jordan and James the better!!! Lovely chapter, post soon! :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much!! And you never know with Mitch.. He's an interesting one. There will be lots of James and Jordan in the next chapter! I'll try and update soon xx

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Review #8, by ChivalrousGet in Line: The Morning After

7th September 2014:
I love this! Post ASAP! Mose is literally queen.

Author's Response: I know, right? I love Mose to pieces. Thanks for reviewing! The next chapter is in the queue xx

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Review #9, by ChivalrousPlaying for Keeps: Ready, Aim, Miss...

6th September 2014:
I love this! Your word choice is on point and I adore Anne. Please post soon. xx Chivalrous

Author's Response: Aw, you're so sweet! :)

Don't worry--chapter six is in the queue and it should be out within the next few days. I would love for you to keep reading, and I'd love to hear your thoughts about it as well!

Thanks so much!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #10, by ChivalrousPyrotechnics: ii.

30th November 2013:
Ahhh I love absolutely love this! Hazel is such a lovable, but believable character it's brilliant! And don't even get me started on Seamus, he's just so *sigh*... I just love Seamus, okay? Haha! Please post soon, I love it! :)

Author's Response: Awwh, thank you! I'm so glad you like it! I love Hazel, and I'm glad you think she's believable. :)

I love Seamus too! Definitely an underrated character in my opinion. :)

I will try to! Thanks for your lovely review. (:


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Review #11, by ChivalrousThe Troubles Of Being A Malfoy: She's out of his league

9th November 2013:
I love it omg! Post soon!!!

Author's Response: Haha thanks love :)

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Review #12, by ChivalrousDefining Astoria: Wrath (Part One)

6th November 2013:
I am absolutely in love with this! Please post soon! I'm desperate to know what happened/is happening to Astoria! Astoria Greengrass is one of my favorite characters and you have done a wonderful job writing her, I think! I can't wait to read more!! :)

Author's Response: Oooh, thank you so much! The next chapter is going out as soon as the queue reopens! :D It's great to hear that you consider my depiction of Astoria wonderful, thank you! ♥

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Review #13, by ChivalrousFinding Him: Morning

1st October 2013:
Oh wow! I love this! I also love how you've portrayed Rose! This novella is bursting with potential! Post soon pleaseee! :)

-Sincerely, Ireland :)

Author's Response: First off, thanks for the first review. :)
And second off, I'm so happy that you think this novella has potential. I was very iffy on posting it. And I'll try to get the second chapter up ASAP.

~Sama


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Review #14, by ChivalrousThe Invisible Thief : Just Friends

25th September 2013:
Ah! I loved it, because of the Bribus. Albus is so adorable when he is all awkward like aww. This chapter was swaggy n' such as per usual! ;)

Sorry about school we all dislike it! (I have a Biology test tomorrow, but yeah I'm here haha!) And yay I'm so happy we all broke the 100th review mark!! Congratulations!

And another big YAY for the Bribus friends with benefits type deal! And yes for more drama! I love it when it gets dramatic! >;)

I have no idea what's up with Amelia and Louis. They probably like each other, but like idk man.

I know you have school and that's important, so stay in school and blah blah blah, but POST SOON OKAY!? Okay yeah thanks bye! :)

-Sincerely, Ireland :)

Author's Response: Aw, I'm glad you liked it! I kind of am fawn of awkward Albus as well! Swaggy - I like it!

I'm so happy as well and yeah school pretty much sucks!

Drama is the best!

Idk man, either, but that seems like a good guess.

I'LL POST SOON!

xx


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Review #15, by ChivalrousCareful What You Wish For: Quidditch Practise

15th September 2013:
Awh! I love Dani and Oliver, so cute! Great chapter! I can't wait for the next update! :)

-Sincerely, Ireland :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed - the next chapter is in the queue.
Courtney:)


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Review #16, by ChivalrousThe Invisible Thief : Run like Lightening

15th September 2013:
Ah! I love it! Amelia is my hero. I loved this chapter and I hope you get 100 reviews! Whoop whoop! :)

P.S. Sorry this one isn't long either I've got math homework I've got to do that I don't wanna do! :)

-Sincerely, Ireland

Author's Response: I did reach a 100 reviews so thank you so much! I love Amelia too - I'm glad you feel similar.

No worries girly and I know the feeling!


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Review #17, by ChivalrousThe Invisible Thief : Sideline Kisses

9th September 2013:
BRIBUS BRIBUS BRIBUS FOR THE WIN! Ah I loved it!

Halloween man, it's great! The whole animals for Halloween thing remind me of Mean Girls ahaha! I love that movie with so much passion it's unreal!

But yeah I love this and you and how it long it is! Thank you for the Bribus!

Sorry I can't post a long review, because I have to sleep it's almost 11:00 and I have school tomorrow! So sorry!!! :(

Sincerely, Ireland

Author's Response: YAY I'm glad!

It reminded me too! Animals are just such classic halloween costumes it's not evenf unny.

You're welcome, girl!

Don't worry about it - any review is good enough for me! Good luck with school! xx


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Review #18, by ChivalrousShut Up and Kiss Me: Shut Up and Kiss Me

9th September 2013:
AW that's precious! I can't wait for the epilogue and then the sequel! Eeeek!

Oh and I'd love for Peeves/Spoons to be together for all of eternity dat's my OTP right there! Hahahaha!

Just kidding it's James/Ellie obviously! ;)

Author's Response: the epilogue will be up soon! It's being validated as I type this response up :O

Actually, I'm more partial with the Daniel/Staring at the floor pairing. Hah.

Anyways, great hearing from you Ms. Chivalrous. I'm excited for you to read the epilogue :D


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Review #19, by ChivalrousThe Invisible Thief : The Calm before the Storm

4th September 2013:
Please don't ask me to predict things. I'm rubbish at predicting things! I mean really I honestly have no idea about any of it, which is why I ask of thee to update soon so I may read what happens instead of driving myself mad trying to figure it out!

Ya feel me?

But this chapter was so long! Me likey! ;) I loved it and especially the part in the dorm room that was making me laugh so hard! Scorpius is hilarious! I love him omg!

And BRIBUS! HECK YES BRIBUS! I JUST ASDFGHJKL; I love Bribus if you can't tell... I because it's Bribus they are so cute and awkward, but not, because they're too cute. I dunno man I just ship it.

Brilliant chapter can't wait till the Halloween partay chapter!! I'm really excited for it, because I love like Hogwarts Halloween (I read in one where James II dressed up as Voldemort and I literally died). I just love magical Halloweens they are so much fun!

So stay you're awesome, trick. Stay swag.

Sincerely, Ireland :)

P.S. Oh yeah and I totally messed up the characters for Little Shop of Horrors; Seymour is the man, and the plant is Audrey, you were right! Aha! :)

Author's Response: Aw, I'm sure you're just splendid at predicting things! I shall update very soon so no worries!

Cha feel you!

I'm glad! I'm planning on making all the following chapters this long since it gives you guys more for your punch. A lot of people seem to really like Scorpius - I'm glad!

I think everyone loves Bribus or else you really wouldn't be reading this story! Cute and Awkward is the way to go. Shipping it hard core, man!

I love Hogwarts Halloween as well! Oh my gosh, I think I read the same story as you! I literally /died/, it was so funny!

Will do girl, will do.

No worries and thanks for the review!

xx


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Review #20, by ChivalrousThe Invisible Thief : Bad Date 2.0

29th August 2013:
BRING ON THE BRIBUS! ;) I'm ready for Bribus, seriously I see it coming, it's gonna happen! (Please make it happen, I beg of thee)

So I love this story a lot... I absolutely adore Brielle and how you've really...layered her (I suppose that's a good enough adjective...idk).

I also love how you've done the Wotters most of them are not how the majority on this site are and it's refreshing!

Speaking of Wotters...I like how Dominique has changed to show that she is not just an itch-bay (read between the lines, I think you'll figure it out ;)), but she does a heart deep down in her black soul and she does feel emotions. ;) Although I'm skeptical as to whether or true or she has ulterior motive for like world domination or something... WHICH WOULD BE BLOODY AWESOME BY THE WAY

Oh and I saw how Bri talked about being a masochist and it reminded of Little Shop of Horrors, the musical. Have you seen it? It's got a talking Venus fly-trap named Seymour in it and it's an old movie. And Seymour like tries to eat everyone and there's this dentist who's the Dad from Cheaper By the Dozen (I think his first name is Steve idk) and he likes to cause people pain and he dates the girl with the squeaky voice. And so this guy comes into his dentist office and he is a masochist and so the dentist freaks out and gets really angry cause he can't cause the guy pain, because he likes it.

Yeah it's pretty great it just made me think of that, if you haven't seen that movie you should watch it, it's hilarious! Aha sorry I have like a weird train of thought.

But yeah Brielle is swaggy and make BRIBUS HAPPEN PLEASE

-Sincerely, Ireland :)

(Omg this is so long, sowwy! Eek!)

Author's Response: Eek, I love long reviews! There is MAJOR Bribus in the next couple chapters so get ready, girl!

Thank you so much! I adore writing as Brielle.

Eeep, thank you! I was worried my story wouldn't have stood out against all the other amazing stories on HPFF so that's very sweet of you.

Dominique is for sure an interesting character. She has more then just a big black hole as a heart but I wouldn't rule out world domination just yet. You never know what is up her sleeve.

That is so funny that you brought that up. My eldest brother was the lead in the music LSOH when our HS made the production. He was Seymour, who in our version was a worker at the flower shop and created a plant called Audrey 2.0 (named after the Dentist's girlfriend because he also liked her) that he fed people to. He fed the dentist, his "dad", and even Audrey to the plant. He eventually also got eaten by the plant too.

It was a wonderful production.

She would be happy to hear that and WILL DO.

xx


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Review #21, by ChivalrousBeauty Queen: Epilogue: The Quidditch Cup

29th August 2013:
Aw that was a beautiful epilogue! I loved it!! Brilliant story! I loved watching your characters progress and grow throughout the novel. It was really amazing! Great job!

-Sincerely, Ireland :)

Author's Response: Ahh thank you so much! I'm so happy you liked the story and stuck with it to the end. It means so much to me :)


Thanks for a lovely review!
-Rebecca


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Review #22, by ChivalrousFlight of the Heart: The Interview

29th August 2013:
I'm so excited to see where this goes! I love Mia and Claire! Also one of my best friends is named Claire, so I feel attachment to her! Aha! This was brilliant, I can't wait till the next update! :)

Author's Response: I really, really need to get back to this story! Thank you so much for this review!!!
♥ Jami


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Review #23, by ChivalrousYou Are The Reason: Hannah: Conformity/Conflict

29th August 2013:
Awww I love Hannah and Neville! I love them as a couple especially as beautifully written as you have done. You've really done a superb job with them so hurrah for you!

I love the way you write Hannah, I really do! Merely because she struggles, and she wants to be selfish, and she wants to conform, she wants to just blend in and get through school. I love that about her, because it makes her real and it makes her...well her!

So beautiful job on this chapter! I can't wait for the next update! :)

Author's Response: Yes, totally. You really understand my thinking. I like her character because she's not really academically smart and she does struggle with everything. She's very vulnerable. Neville too in a way. Less now. I think that's what makes them perfect for each other! He is so much of a Gryffindor and she so isn't! Thanks very much for the review. It means so much to have your opinion. I'll get right on finishing the next chapter. I already know how I'm going to finish the story in a few chapters time ... :D

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Review #24, by ChivalrousCareful What You Wish For: The Trapdoor

29th August 2013:
Woah! Why didn't Dani tell her friends about the mirror?? Surely between Penelope and Angus someone would know what it did or at least who it had belonged to, you know??

I'm horrible at predicting so I haven't the slightest idea what it is or what it's for, but from the comment of Ancient Runes on the handle and the fact that the trapdoor said 'Rowena Ravenclaw' I imagine it belonged to her.

I would just like to say Kat is one of my favorite characters of this story along with Dani and Oliver!

I loved the chapter so brilliant work!

Oh and my favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla. Yes I'm quite boring... Aha!

Author's Response: Hey there!

Why indeed? Haha, Penny and Angus certainly have a LOT of smartness between them, I wouldn't be surprised if one of them knew, or at least had some ideas.

Kat, Oliver and Dani are probably my favourite characters too:) And good old vanilla is always great!

Courtney:)


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Review #25, by Chivalrousetc. etc. (and life goes on): The Self-Fulfilling Prophet

12th August 2013:
Aw I love this can't wait for the next chapter!!

Author's Response: Thanks! ^__^

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