Reading Reviews From Member: Josette_Phoenix
28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Josette_PhoenixMake Do: Long Way Home

29th July 2014:
Hey there :D

OK, I just have to say that I had to run to get a tissue while reading this - TWICE. It is EXTREMELY rare that a hpff story has that affect on me, so congratulations - this one-shot is wonderful on so many levels. I'm not a huge Molly fan, I have to admit - not that I don't like her, I mean, she's awesome, but I just never paid her much attention, I guess. But this story just unlocked like a FLOOD of emotions!!!

I should just say here, that as to your concerns about writing technique and grammar - pft. This is very well-rounded and polished, and I couldn't spot anything that needs addressing. As to being interesting and whether it drags on, you held me captivated the whole time, so no worries there either.

You basically held me enthralled with reminiscence, emotion, and pride - everything Molly was feeling. I was with her the whole time, right from the opening sentence about The Burrow being too quiet, introducing the old pots and pans and bustling family. We all associate The Burrow with such things, and to introduce the story with them (or lack thereof, that is), was a great way to rope us into Molly's mind, feel her memories, her sorrows, as she did.

I like how you explored every aspect of her life, the traumas and the happiness, from Fabian and Gideon dying to her killing Bellatrix, which we don't really get an insight into in the books. I think you pulled her suffering from those things off brilliantly, exactly how I imagined it.

Going through each of her children - protecting Ginny, Ron being tall and proud, Bill being wise, Fred's marble tombstone - everything just YANKED at the emotions. The thing that got me was Arthurs "I'll be waiting for you with Fred". Wa! Beautiful!!!

Anyway, I'm sure this isn't really a constructive review, it's mostly gushing over your amazing story, but honestly I couldn't find anything to really criticise haha!

Thank you for requesting, feel free to do so again!! And thank you for this beautiful, beautiful story :')


Author's Response: Oh my gosh, you don't know how much this review made my day! I can't seem to wipe this giant smile off of my face :D

This honestly really means a lot to hear this! I do apologize for making you cry aha but I'm far too excited right now to feel bad :"D

Thank YOU so much for taking the time to read/review, it really means the world to know that you enjoyed it! I really appreciate it!

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Review #2, by Josette_PhoenixOutside: Prison

10th July 2014:
Hey :)

I'd just like to start off with saying that your writing style is excellent. It is lucid and clear to understand but is balanced perfectly with great insight and detail. A very easy read without being mind-numbing - that's when you can tell it's good writing :D

You've perfectly captured Lucius's persona here, with cold pride and condescension absolutely oozing out of him. But I particularly like how you've managed to make him so cold and up himself in a completely logical way - I mean, I was so inside his head that I totally understood why he is such a jerk. The phrase "prescience to maintain their purity amidst flagging moral standards" is gold. It makes it seem so normal, so right, that he's on Voldemort's side - I mean, even though the whole time I totally knew he was a baddie. If that makes sense?

Anyway. The flashbacks worked well, it's was a great then-and-now comparison and helps the reader clearly gage the massive difference between the glory days and the Malfoys' fall from grace, and the impact upon the family. Good job!

I don't think you need to worry about your interpretation of Voldy. He was perfect :) I love Lucius's "elegant, snake-like tone that had once enthralled me" - it really hit home how much he idolised Voldemort.

Thanks for this intriguing insight into one of the most complex families in HP!! I really enjoyed it.


Author's Response: Howdy! Thanks so much for your kind words about my writing!

I actually wrote this under a severe time-crunch for a challenge that never ended up getting judged, and given that it hasn't gotten much feedback, I have always wondered what those proud few who have read it have thought of it.

I'm very glad to hear that you thought the characterizations were believable and that you found the flashbacks useful. I was somewhat flying blind with both because when I wrote this I had: (1) never written from a "bad guy" POV and (2) never written anything with real flashbacks. I definitely wanted to capture the contrast with Lucius between what once was and what is now, and so it's encouraging that you thought it worked. Phew.

Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #3, by Josette_PhoenixHearts Made of Fool's Gold: No Harm, No Foul

4th July 2014:
Hi there

I'd just like to say that your writing is so easy to read - flowing and polished - an absolute delight and frankly a breath of fresh air. But though it reads easily, it is also very sophisticated and perspicacious. You've delved into the characters so logically that I'm never thinking "Oh, that never would have happened". I mean, when I see a James/Remus I think, oh boy - how are they going to do this? But the way their romance started was absolutely perfect! I kept wondering, OK when, when, when is this going to happen, there are all these subtle hints, and then BAM! Random kiss in the dark! I love the fall through the tapestry and all the giggling, that was awesome and made me chuckle.

Back to how you've delved into the characters, Remus's thought processes are deep and logical, exactly how I'd think a 15 year old Remus would think. And the way James reacts is so perfect - lashing out at Sirius, that devil-may-care rashness. I also love how you've written Peter, how James saw something in him no one else did, how he's childishly charming and attentive to detail, and how he - accidentally - ratted on them to Filch a whiles back. See what I did there? ;)

Well done, you've made this flow brilliantly well and I can't wait to read the next chapters!


Author's Response: Thank you for this delightful review! I agree, James/Remus is a tricky pair. It's part of the reason it takes me so long to update this fic in particular - I really want to make sure I get it right. So I'm so glad you think it's coming out decently. :)

Can't wait to hear what you think of the coming chapters! I will try to update soon!

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Review #4, by Josette_PhoenixDragonology: The Dragon

4th July 2014:
Can I just say firstly - you had me at the Eric Bana banner (haha Bana banner) ... at least I think it's Eric Bana, right? Anyway, anyway, sorry!

It's great how straight away we're in Charlie's head - how he's a tough guy, but now he's really nervous. I think you've really pinned him right - I know we don't see that much of Charlie in the books, but this story pretty much figures into exactly how I picture him. The bit near the beginning when he suddenly realised he's finally about to face a dragon, and his nervousness disappeared to be replaced by excitement did it for me - stupid Gryffindor through and through :P It reminded me of when Harry was facing the Horntail, and when he got on his Firebolt all his fear suddenly disappeared. That he was grinning the whole time and especially when he went into the Fireball's enclosure without a second thought really got that devil-may-care bravery across.

Speaking of - I wouldn't have believed it, but you made a fiery dangerous dragon seem cute. CUTE. I was all like aaw, when it whined as Charlie fixed its leg, and when it nudged his hand.

You described the reactions of the Fireball really well, too! The cautiousness at first, then how it barely seemed to heed Charlie as he came a little closer, being too weak, and the abating growls as he fixed the wound. It was also great when you mentioned that the other dragons in the enclosures barely noticed the keepers, as they were used to them. You could have written it like they were uncontrollably dangerous, which is what I would have though to write at first, but I see that it makes more sense that the dragons are all kind of "tamed" (to a degree, at least).

It was good to see that soft side of Charlie too, when he was speaking softly to the dragon to calm it. I often see him as that rugged tough-guy, but I guess now that I think on it, you'd have to be pretty cautious and sometimes quiet while dealing with dangerous fire-breathing beasts!

Oh, being in Romania was a great little detail, too - especially in the mountains where it'd be safest to keep dragons ;)

Well done, this is a great little snapshot into Charlie's career!!

Cheerio :D

Author's Response: Hey there =)

Haha it's actually Sean McGowan on the banner but I'm glad you liked it anyway xD The TDA artists are indeed lovely.

I am pleased you liked how the story started off with straight into Charlie's head. I had more to the story actually but I had to cut it down and tweak it to meet the word limit of the House Cup lol.

Indeed, I kind of adopted Harry's devil-may-care attitude here - Gryffindors after all - and I am pleased you enjoyed that.

Haha it's awesome that you found the dragon cute, to be honest I pictured it in a cute manner too in those scenes xP

I was quite unsure of the Fireball's reactions so it's a relief to know you liked them. I figured it would make more sense if they were slightly tamed rather than just wild - especially since it was Charlie's first day and his mentor left him alone there.

I am pleased you liked Charlie's soft side too, along with the details of the mountains.

Thanks again =)

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Review #5, by Josette_PhoenixHeart of Clay: Heart of Clay

23rd June 2014:
Hi again :D

This is a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL story. I love how the entire thing is like a fairytale, not just The Golem's Gift. From the very beginning, with the lovely descriptions of the students enjoying summer by the lake, you convey a very vivid sense of fairytale bliss.

You've made Rose and Scorp's blossoming relationship very sweet, and a joy to follow - from the beginning where we only have a vague idea of their feelings (though really, we know what's going to happen with them :P) till the end after we've read that they've started noticing things about each other, and finally Rose touching Scorp's hair.

I also noticed that we don't know which houses you've put them in, which brings me to ANALOGY :D (I love analogy ;) ). I got the idea that because we don't know which houses Rose and Scorp are in, it really doesn't matter, because the new wizarding generation isn't prejudiced and hung-up on which categories a person fits into.

(ANALOGY!!!) At the end of Scorp's Golem tale, we're totally snapped out of the fairytale mood by Rose when she reveals the themes and subtext of the story. That was SO clever, the way you made Amshel an analogy of Muggleborns and the way that they were thought "steal" magic. Rose's ending was the PROPER fairytale ending, and also the way the wizarding world went after HP killed Riddle (ANALOGY!!). Scorp getting rid of the fairytale book and saying "good riddance" is symbolic of the wizarding world turning over a new leaf - beautiful, also, AGAIN with the symbology, how Grandma Narcissa is going mad, as the old prejudices fade away into nothing.

You've kept with JK's "love conquers all" theme, and that's awesome, kudos! (I specifically love the quote at the end, absolutely beautiful!! Ingersoll is a legend. And also, Terry Pratchett - WOO!)

OK, one last thing before I stop :3 I just want to say that the repetition of the "Not a soul, nor a charm, nor a prayer ..." throughout the story is absolutely exquisite, from Irena rejecting her suitors, to Amshel smashing and Irena committing suicide, then finally when not a soul, etc., could part them. It's a very "fairytale" cohesive tie joining the whole thing together in a very magical way ;)

I COULD go on, but I'll stop now!! Haha thanks so much for a splendid and unique story!!


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Review #6, by Josette_PhoenixTwenty To Seven: Twenty To Seven

23rd June 2014:
Hey there!! Time for a long-overdue review ;)

I love at the start how we get into Lily's head about wanting to shut out the world, especially with the dresser - I totally get where she's coming from there :P

You've written James really well, too - bursting out an emotional spiel in the Great Hall; and the little funny bits and pieces - Lily putting him in the hospital wing for two days and how he always brings it up, and how she keeps calling him an idiot in her head but doesn't flinch away for the gushy bits - all make their relationship exactly what I pictur it is.

I also love Moaning Myrtle scene - great little comic tidbit. " 'You think you've got it bad ... but I'm dead.' She always tops me there." Is a great line.

Lovely, well-written fluffy read, thanks!!


Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed this little fluffy one-shot! :)

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Review #7, by Josette_PhoenixThe Mildly Perilous and Mostly Tragicomic Misadventures of Sir Roderick Gryffindor and 'Sir' Ivan Harris: In Which Ivan Adventures Like a Man

19th June 2014:
Well this just keeps getting colourfuller and colourfuller! I am LOVING Max!! This whole parody thing reminds me of something out of Monty Python or something, with the stuck in slow-motion bit and the Crotchety One with the spoon-lumberjacks. This story is definitely worthy of Princess Bride ;)

Your verdant description of Beinn Nibheis was absolutely beautiful, so rich with imagery that I felt like I was in a Beatrix Potter movie or something - and I loved the list of flowers and plants, it added that extra depth.

I'm also loving the place names, in original Celtic-British or whatever it is, and Latin. And still with the hilarious jargon ... it just makes the speech that much more hilarious.

You've created the perfect mix here: history + parody + non-conformism + Potterverse = AWESOME :D


Author's Response: I'd been trying to stay clear of Monty Python humor (but failing miserably)... that's okay though!

I had to do a bit of research as to what flora and fauna were abundant on which parts of the mountain... I think the research took longer than writing the actual chapter, so I'm really glad that you liked it!

Thanks so much!


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Review #8, by Josette_PhoenixStar Gazer: Star Gazer

19th June 2014:
Hey there, I saw this in the Peter & Wendy challenge thread and thought I'd come over and have a peak ;)

I love the POV!! I've never read a story from Luna's mum's perspective before, and I found this really original - especially in that she is narrating from beyond the grave, which could have turned out corny but you did a superb job of!! And also making the reactions to the deaths hereditary - Luna's mum not crying at her mum's funeral, then Luna not crying at hers - added a poetic cohesion to the tale.

You've written Xeno wonderfully, too - just how I imagine him. Distracted, disinterested, thoroughly eccentric - but even though Luna's mum shares his passion for outlandish things, she doesn't share his fanatical sell-your-daughter-for-an-artifact obsession - well, maybe that's because she's dead and can't have much emotion, but I like that we sort of get the idea that she was the sane one of the family, haha.

I love how you've incorporated your quote, too, with the stars, and how you sort of gradually lead up to it. Just great!!

Thanks for a nice read, and good luck in the challenge!!


Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! :)

I hadn't either. She was assigned in a challenge, so I sort of just went with it. But it gave me a lot of insight on the Lovegood family dynamic. I'm glad you liked the POV. It was a little weird and I wasn't sure if I was pulling it off well.

I like thinking of Xeno as a flawed man, but still very caring when required of him. With Luna's mum, I just tried to think of the kind of person Xeno might marry, and the kind of person who would marry him. She'd need to be a little more practical, but also share his eccentric beliefs. And rather brilliant since we know she liked to experiment with potions.

The quote fit so well with this story. I already had it in mind when I got the quote and it wound up flowing nicely together. I lucked out a bit with it, I think. Thanks for reviewing! :) It really means a lot to get the feedback.

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Review #9, by Josette_PhoenixThe Mildly Perilous and Mostly Tragicomic Misadventures of Sir Roderick Gryffindor and 'Sir' Ivan Harris: In Which Ivan Dreams Like a Man

19th June 2014:
Hi there! Time for some overdue reviews ;)

I absolutely LOVE this. Max is fantastic, I love how he's used to pull the reader in and out of the story - it reminds me of Brechtian escapades in drama.

You really seem to now what you're talking about, with the Medieval jargon and the historical references - it makes the story all the more richer and interesting!!

I just love the entire premise of this story, the POVs, the historical context, the interesting characters (Ivanna/Ivan is FANTASTIC), and I can't wait to keep reading!!


PS: there is a typo near he end when Nicholi is upset at Ivanna/Ivan for wooing Bessie - "It was vital that Nicholi be able to preform appropriately ..." Is it meant to be perform??

PPS: Grundyblossom?? I LOVE IT.

Author's Response: Hey there!

Heheh, I'm glad you like this -- Max seems to take all of the glory, though ^.^.

I did take some courses on Shakespearean/Elizabethan, but it's mostly just spouting nonsense for fun.

Oops, I'll fix that typo, thanks!

Grundyblossom ^.^.

Thanks so much!


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Review #10, by Josette_PhoenixCarpe Diem: It's Only A Game Of Truth Or Dare

19th June 2014:
I love the gang! They're all so colourful, I feel like I'm in 10 Things I Hate About You or something! The Truth or Dare was an excellent medium for the reader to get to know all Ridley's mates, great job with that - I can see a little of my high school group in each of them. Logan is hilarious, by the way. I think he'd remind everyone of a few of their own guy friends ;)

I can't wait for the brewing storm, what with Ridley being the rebel and planning to insult the Golden Boy's son! Go Ridley!

Just one thing - just after the beginning, when Zara and Logan are bickering about the messy room, Logan says 'Your disgusting' then Zara says '... and your just so mature.' It should be you're, not your :)

Thanks for the great read!


Author's Response: Thanks. I love the gang too to be honest. I wanted them all to be different, have their own special personalities but not be all random and not go together. And I love 10 TIHAY so I very much appreciate that comment.
I wasn't sure at the start how to get the whole thing going, so Truth or Dare was a kind of default move which may have been cliche but I'm glad it worked out well.
Logan is a personal favourite as well - I have big things planned for him.
Thank you for the your/you're tip - I seem to always get that wrong and never learn.
You are very much welcome
Frances x

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Review #11, by Josette_PhoenixCarpe Diem: Hogwarts Is a High School (Duh?)

19th June 2014:
Well here I am with some long-overdue reviews - get used to me, you'll be hearing quite a bit ;)

This is so original - I love it. Instead of the four houses we have the more normal high school cliques, but with the interesting spin that everyone's a witch or wizard. I can't wait to read on to see what you do with this!

Also, I love the idea that you've made the Wotter kids "devil childs in the making". I'm so used to reading stories wherein the Roses and Albuses are good and pure - with their faults, of course, but ultimately with hearts in the right place. Looking forward to seeing how hateful you make them! Also I'm VERY intrigued to see that you seem to be making the Puffs emo-ish children of depravity - something new!!

Just everything about this is unique, I'm gonna stop reviewing now so that I can read the next chapter!!


Author's Response: Haha Thank you for reviewing you really made me smile.
I'm glad you like it. I thought it might be a bit cliche what with cliques but that doesn't seem to be the reaction I'm getting which is good.
I didn't want a nice Rose. She doesn't have to be cutesie and clever, like most make her. Just because she's Hermiones daughter doesnt make her like her was my thinking and I'm glad that works out.
Thank you again

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Review #12, by Josette_PhoenixThe Melody: Courage is not the absence of fear

17th June 2014:
Hi there :)

I saw this in the Peter & Wendy challenge thread and thought I'd pop over and have a look :)

As soon as I started reading this I was like "WOAH!" So much action! Bam, bam, bam! But you don't overload it at all, it's the perfect balance of in-your-face carnage, but also detachment in that she is running away from it all. Great descriptions of the battle, the lights, the sounds, the blood! I particularly liked the one "Thunder in a storm so colossal the gods themselves took note."

I really liked how she was running away, scorning herself for her O in DADA - "Swish and flick, enunciate" was a great line - but then all of a sudden she manages her fear enough to run back into the fray by watching the little giant dominate the big giant, of all things (is the little giant Grawp, btw? Hehe).

The incorporation of the quote was absolutely beautiful, great job with that! And I loved that she was the girl Harry saw Ginny comfort while he was walking to the forest, that was awesome :)

This was a good read, thank you! Good luck in the challenge, too :)


Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review. Means a lot, and when its so positive it makes it even better.

Glad I caught your attention with the start.

The little giant is Grawp - but he does get knocked out. I think the main character sees a similarity in their situations. She feels overwhelmed and completely out her depth yet she sees Grawp take on a giant despite having little chance of success. If Grawp can do it she can.

I always found that character interesting. We never know her name so I assume she isn't part of the DA. We know nothing and yet she is brave enough to be there and vulnerable enough to admit to wanting to give up.

Thanks again


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Review #13, by Josette_PhoenixTea & Poison: Ella

17th June 2014:
Hi there :)

I saw this in the Peter and Wendy challenge thread and thought I'd check it out. I'm so glad I did!

For starters, WELL DONE on the second-person POV! That's a toughie to pull off, but you did it marvellously and it suited the mood of the story so well, connecting how mental Ella is - or not, depending on the source of the voice :P - to how the reader receives the story. It pulled me in right away!

I love how you depersonalise the mother from the get-go, calling her "the woman" and "the woman who calls herself your mother". It sets the scene of a cold home life straight away, and when you went on to depersonalise the whole family, calling Isla "the girl" and Phineas "the man", I felt as distanced from them as Ella did. It's particularly heart-wrenching when she has memories of playing with Phineas before he became a cold-hearted douche, when they used to all be happy kids together!

I love how you've constructed the family dynamics too, how Phineas is the controlling one, Isla is the troublesome one, and Ella is the obedient one, and how insanely deep-seated their duty to having an impeccable social standing is.

Great use of etymology too, again used to reflect on the character dynamics. The depersonalisation of Ella, how she is nothing but a gift to be passed on; the surety of Phineas's right to be head of the family; Isla's outlandishness.

Gosh I could just go on commenting on every part of this chapter, but I'll finish by saying that Ella is a great character, a Slytherin through and through - devious and cold. Loved the "voice" and the creepy mystery of Sirius. Big twist when it turned out her mother wasn't in the room with her at the debutante ball!! And what a good way to end the chapter! Can't wait to see how it all turns out!

Congrats on the win and honourable mention, and good luck in the Peter and Wendy challenge! Sorry for the LONG rambling review, I swear I didn't mean to make it this long, but it's late and I've had too much caffeine :S

PS: I love how you called it "parchmentwork" instead of paperwork! May I please have permission to plagiarise that somewhere down the line? I'm broke, but I can pay you the royalties in cookies if you like :P



Author's Response: Ooh, hello!

Thanks for checking this out! Unfortunately, I wasn't able to complete this story before the deadline (the quote is in the third chapter) but I will be incorporating it regardless. It's great that you're glad you clicked on this!

Ahhh that's great to hear! I've written second person before but this is the first time I've written it in a multi-chaptered story so it's fantastic to hear that you think I did it marvellously. Hahaha, you'll have to wait and see if Elladora really is mental rune not ;)

I wanted Elladora to be emotionally detached from her family, to not have the compassion that most people would. To her, they're just strangers because the way society dictates their behaviour makes them completely different to the carefree children she remembers. I love that you felt I did this effectively and that you felt distanced from them because that was absolutely my goal!

Ooh, thanks! Canonically, Isla was disowned for "marrying Muggle Bob Hitchens" (note that JKR's family tree says the same thing about Ted, so the pure-blood supremacists consider Muggle-borns Muggles) and of course Elladora is mentioned in Sirius' reminiscing during OotP as "Aunt Elladora" so clearly she was very much integrated into the family despite her emotional detachment. As for Phineas, I felt he couldn't be anything but controlling since he was a former Headmaster and his portrait gave off that impression.

That's great to hear! I know that a lot of people aren't overly familiar with the Black family tree so I decided to incorporate the tree into this chapter to help clarify who the people were, since it was something Elladora probably knew given that Sirius was knowledgable about it in OotP, and so I looked up the dates of their births. While I was doing that, I discovered the etymology of Elladora's name and thought it too good not to include, so I researched the others and included them too since the story's about the whole family.

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed this story and that you liked her characterisation! I love plot twists, so including those were fun indeed! Thank you so much for your lovely review, and don't worry about the length -- I had the same issue writing this chapter, because the words just kept flowing and I couldn't find a natural place to stop earlier. Thanks for the congrats, too!

Haha, you're more than welcome to use parchmentwork -- no permission needed! (Although I won't say no to cookies -- double chocolate chip, please!) I felt parchmentwork would be called just that because we have paperwork, but the wizarding world doesn't use paper, it uses parchment, so yeah that was pretty much my thought process!

Thanks again!


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Review #14, by Josette_PhoenixWaltz: Waltz

4th January 2014:
This was fabulous ... I almost wet myself when he kissed her "symmetrically" hahaha. Well done :)

Author's Response: Hahaha! This review actually made me laugh out loud. hehehe I'm so glad you enjoyed it! The 'symmetrically' line was one of the last little tidbits I added, but I was so happy I thought it up before submitting because it made me chuckle too. ^.^ Thank you so much for the review; I'm thrilled that you liked it! :-D

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Review #15, by Josette_Phoenixclose your eyes, listen on up.: under the mistletoe.

4th January 2014:
This was absolutely beautiful. You've done it again :')

Author's Response: Aww you're so sweet, I'm glad you liked it < 3


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Review #16, by Josette_PhoenixGhosts in the Snow: The Dancing Cloak

3rd January 2014:
I've been waiting for this!!!
Such detail - in the language and history, in the characters - makes this a delight to read. You definitely know what you're talking about!! It's so polished - and I love the style of writing.
Little Helena is fascinating, and I'm nervous to see how she turns out. You've written Slytherin beautifully, exactly how I imagined him and beyond.
I can't wait for chapter 3!!!

Author's Response: Thank you so so much for the lovely review and all of the encouragement! If I get back to writing here again, I'll definitely be continuing this story. Thank you again xo

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Review #17, by Josette_PhoenixIn A Heartbeat: In A Heartbeat

3rd January 2014:
Wow. Just wow. I wasn't expecting it, but all these chills just ran through my body as I was reading, and there were tears in my eyes. The way you incorporated the lines from DH made me smile with pride.

Excellent metaphor with the splinters of time and all the possible futures - it fit perfectly in with the battle scene, everything rushing and breaking. Excellent use of the techincal terms like ventricles and atria etc. - it added a cold, gutsy facet to the story. Just ... excellent. Excellent excellent excellent.

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Review #18, by Josette_PhoenixThe End: Prologue

3rd January 2014:
Hey there, time for some overdue reviews!!

Zombie apocalypse! This sounds very creepy and I'm very excited to see where you're going with this. As always, your writing is succinct without being plain, yet vivid without being over-adjectivey. And well done with the creepiness.

I'm really intrigued at the lack of secrecy, too - wizards whipping out their wands in public. And I'm quite scared about Hogwarts being out of bounds!!

Can't wait to see the rest!

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Review #19, by Josette_PhoenixThe Recombination of One's Soul and the Psychological Aftereffects: a Case Study: Tom Riddle

2nd January 2014:
Finally a review of this wonderful, wonderful story! I am so sorry it's taken me this long!!

I love how you've made most of this story in second person - the psychiatrist to the intern - because second person is so rare in stories and it's really hard to make it work, but you've done FABULOUSLY! It was fascinating and couldn't have worked better any other way - kudos!

I love how cold, cynical and heartless you've made Sofia/Maggie and how eventually it ironically becomes her downfall - such a Roald Dahl ending to the story (not the kids' books he wrote but his adult books - they always have a humourously sinister and ironic ending).

I also love how you've portrayed Tom - the coloured dots (especially the coloured dots - that was a stroke of genius), the sardonic insights of Sofia/Maggie, the KISSING (which made me shudder, well done) ... it was all superb. It isn't often that a FF makes me laugh even a little out loud, but this ... I was cackling. I have to admit that when I read the title and started, I was a little worried this would be a tedious and dry story - but you proved me wrong. It is witty, mordant, engaging, and a brilliant lampoon of Voldemort (I love the banner too, btw).

Even though you were the only one to submit something to the Solve the Riddle challenge (which means you get first place anyway) I guarantee that you would have place very highly even if I got dozens of stories; if you haven't already guessed by this creepily glowing review - I love this story.

Congrats on your marvellousness!

Author's Response: Hello!

This challenge definitely gave me opportunity to play around with several elements, including perspective. Writing in this perspective was absolutely enjoyable. I'm ecstatic that you believe that I've done it well!

Writing with an unlikable main character was also something that I really enjoyed toying with.

There were very few people who understood what I was attempting to do with the colored dots, so I'm very glad that you caught onto that. The kissing...was decidedly disgusting and thus I didn't linger around the subject for long, but it has received the reaction that I was hoping!

I thought that some of the clinical, dry writing would help balance out the slight insanity of this story.

Whoo! 1/1! Worse things could have happened ;). I'm really happy that I entered your contest, it created a story that I found very entertaining to write!

Thanks so much!


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Review #20, by Josette_Phoenixwinter, cry.: winter, cry.

24th October 2013:
OK, so to start I'm just going to second everyting MissesWeasley & Cannons said. I don't think I can write a review as well as the previous two, haha.

Holy moly that was brilliant. You've captured the very essence of poverty, the joys and the sorrows, and the monotonous strength of being the outcast. You're so detailed without being over-complex, and simplistic without being dull. Your writing is rich and realistic at the same time, which is something not a lot of writers can boast of. That was just a beautiful, beautiful story, I can't put it any other way than that!!


Then I finished it and I was like - no! what happens next???



It was my pleasure to beta this, thank you :) And good luck in the challenge!! Xo

Author's Response: Ahhh, thank you so much! I just edited it all from your beta help and put that version in the queue so hopefully soon there'll be an even better version up! I'm glad you liked it, mistakes and all, though :)

Thank you so much for this amazing review! I honestly can't handle it when people compliment my writing like this, it's insane < 3 You're the sweetest, and an amazing beta!


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Review #21, by Josette_PhoenixUndateable : Unpersuadable

8th October 2013:
This was absolutely lovely to read!! I'm a massive fan of 10 Things I Hate About You, and as I was reading your story I felt like an old friend was waving hello to me from behind each word. The Taming of the Shrew was apparent from the very first paragraph and has been very clearly merged into this story, well done!!

Your writing style is very succinct and easy to read, which not many writers can boast - brevity is powerful! as my English teacher once put it. Your plot flows easily and the chapters are structured neatly, bravo on that as well :)

This story is a great twist on an old favourite and I can't wait until you finish the rest!! Congratulations on 3rd place and keep it up!!

PS: I particularly love how nasty you made James ... perfect!

Jo, xo

Author's Response: Thank you. I have to admit that Taming of the Shrew is possibly my favourite Shakespear with maybe the exception of Midsummer Nights Dream. I also really really loved 10 Things I Hate About You, it being one of my favourite albeit cheesiest films. I'm glad it merged well with the story, I just thought it would be easiest play to do actually.

Thank you so much for the amazing compliments on my writing style, it means a lot to hear stuff like that. I'm really glad it all worked out.

James was originally not going to be the Shrew, I was originally choosing between Molly or Victoire. But then it popped into my head that James could be like that and Albus the poor but beautiful Bianca. And I must admit I much prefer it this way.
Thank you again for the review, it really made my day.

Frances x

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Review #22, by Josette_PhoenixTrivial Trickeries: Much Ado About Exploding Potions

8th October 2013:
This was a great read, you've merged Much Ado About Nothing very skilfully into the story and the quotes from the play were very cleverly incorporated, bravo!

You have a very sophisticated writing style that is an absolute joy to read, but at times it can get a little cluttered with over-sophisticatedness ... with polishing, your writing would be absolutely delectable!! Your plot flows well and the overall structure is good, I can't wait to see the next chapters!!

This is very original, with superb snippets of colourful and creative description, and I LOVE the mulberry tree tradition, a very clever metaphor and substitute for marriage ;)

Congratulations on 2nd place and thank you for participating in my challenge, it was a pleasure :D

Jo, xo

Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much! I'm thrilled with second place :)
I'm really glad you enjoyed the story. And thanks so much for the little piece of constructive criticism. I take that very seriously so I'll be trying in the future to smooth my story out a bit, not making it too cluttered. I guess I do have a sophisticated writing style (I've never really considered it before!) because my favourite authors tend to be really old ones. Writing a retelling of a Shakespeare play certainly doesn't help :P Still, I'll try to make sure it doesn't come too much.
Thanks again :D So glad I could participate in this challenge! It's been a lot of fun.

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Review #23, by Josette_PhoenixA Selection of Yellow Things, Including Streelers and Mortimer's Socks: Loony

24th September 2013:
You did an absoultely marvellous job on Luna - just how JKR would write her!! I can't wait to see how the rest of the story pans out! I LOVE Mortimer already - and his yellow socks. Bravo, and good luck in the challenge! Xo

Author's Response: Aw, thank you!! I am so flattered that you compared my writing of Luna to JKR's - that's about the best compliment there is to a HP fanfic writer :p Unfortunately this is a one-shot so there's no more of the story, but I'm glad you liked it that much! Thanks so much for your review ♥♥

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Review #24, by Josette_PhoenixBeast: Prologue

11th September 2013:

I love and hate the tantalising hints about Teddy's "condition" - it makes me want to keep reading to see if there's going to be any action! Whichever way you choose to write this story, you've got a great foundation here for anything to happen. The little drops of humour, like the lead actress's shrinking dress and the director's chair afraid of being turned into kindling are great little gems - keep putting them in!!

There is a little POV issuue in the middle, however, when Victoire took a seat opposite "us" - first person, when the rest of the chapter is in third person.

Looking forward to finding out what you choose to do with the ships - personally I think a love triangle is in order here ;)


Author's Response: Lol, I'm surprised it isn't easy to guess his condition. Thank you so much for this review it makes me feel way better about the story. I will get on that issue. And I am thinking a love triangle. :D Thank you!

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Review #25, by Josette_PhoenixYou Ought to Know: You Outta Know

8th September 2013:
Wow this is absolutely brilliant!! Simple, eloquently laconic, and so different from anything I've ever read on HPFF before - what an idea! Congrats on a wonderful story :)

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