Reading Reviews From Member: MissesWeasley123
498 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MissesWeasley123Death on the First: Chapter One

27th July 2014:


before i begin can you please clarify something? :P ok so if there are 9 people, is the killer, like included in the nine? or are there nine+the killer?

I feel like... the killer's a girl. But it can also be... a guy. Hm. Definitely not Theo, or Pansy, or Parvati... SO THIS IS GONNA MAKE ME CRAY CRAY. I SHALL FIGURE OUT WHO THE KILLER ID BEFORE ALL THE CHAPS ARE POSTED



There are nine people, including the killer. All of them are listed at the beginning of this chapter - you might want to remember those names ;)

The killer might be a girl, or it might be a guy. Are they even human? I don't know (I do know, but it's fun playing with your mind :P)


Thanks for this review, love, I'm so happy you liked it!

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Review #2, by MissesWeasley123Hope: Hope

12th July 2014:
Hiya Sara! This is such a sad story with a bittersweet plot :( You did such a great job with it though, and treated it with extreme care and ♥

I think the flashback was definitely the most emotional part of the piece. You wrote it beautifully, and it was such a sad moment, as goodbyes always are! I don't know how you managed to put in so much thought into it, especially with the deadline we had! In such few words, you beautifully told us the story of Andromeda. It must've been so sad for her, it was sad for in fact, losing her entire family.

But then, there was Teddy. And Teddy was her hope. I don't know if you've watched the Amazing Spiderman 2 but there's a scene with Andrew Garfield in a graveyard with his aunt May who is kinda old, and I don't know why but it reminds me of Andromeda and Teddy lol :P

Such a well written story! Your writing just gets better and better!

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Review #3, by MissesWeasley123The Wild Rose: Chapter One

12th July 2014:
WAIT I AM SO CONFUSED. YOU ARE A LITTLE MIND BOGGLER AREN'T YOU?? ♥ First and foremost, amazing descriptions!

And I too like everyone else thought this was a Scorose until LILY and what the hell Scorpius is he some sort of psychotic lover??? :( That weirdo why did he kill her? All beauty must die. -- this is so intense and chilling and wow, my heart rate accelerated like 100x more than my normal heart rate as wow wow wow! This entire piece was extremely intense and you were keeping it so light and then BAM IT COMES SLAPPING ME ACROSS THE FACE and everything!!! She's dead. Just. Wow.

This is so different from anything I've ever read, and I think it's so cool! You should totally write a prequel or something, as it's amazing. Really well written, I think this is a great example of a fab dark story!

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Review #4, by MissesWeasley123Pandemonium: Mayhem Manor

12th July 2014:

This is so brilliant, Sian! I'm so glad you have finally finished it! I know you're a really funny person and that really shows in this, but you don't overdo it y'know. I love the idea of ScoRose in this, and how the story definitely kind of spanned over so many generations and times... Which was brilliant! I know you were writing bits of this here and there, and now you've finally finished it, but it never ever seemed inconsistent, so there's that!

Haha, you descriptions and use of prompts are so funny lol just like in all the other chapters :P I can't believe it was Dumbledore though! That's crazy. And the cameo Snape had was so funny too :P He didn't say much, but what he did say was flawless ;) Great work lovely, I wish I could say more but struggling for time!

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Review #5, by MissesWeasley123Event Three - All Quiet on the Post-War Front: and all the years between

12th July 2014:
Wow teh you're brilliant. UM WOW. You made it connect to Sanguini the Vampire and also WORLD CUP??? ♥ you are so epic haha. I really love this :P

Yayayay for Muggle Tech things! This chapter was seriously one of the sweetest things in the world. It had everything, from characters to plot and THE WORLD CUP! You set the bitterness from the war aside for a bit, and it was so pure and everything. You really have some talent for writing such beautiful characters, and you shower how they all moved on so beautifully too.

AND SUCH PERFECTION, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I love all your characters and I love this. This is truly why I have you favourited as an author. You are beyond talented. There were so many emotions in this, and at the end I felt really content. You ended it off amazingly ;) Also three cheers for Salazar now working at the cauldron! :P I don't know. Everything's kinda... peaceful now but they're still scarred forever. It's sad but at least it's less bitter now. I don't know. Mixed emotions :(

Great writing as always teh!
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Review #6, by MissesWeasley123Event Three - All Quiet on the Post-War Front: sweet dreams

12th July 2014:

First of all, you started it off wonderfully. It was a great hook and excellent job at setting the tone. It's amazing how they are all at the same place together.. ALSO TEN MILLION POINTS TO THE PUFFS FOR INCLUDING ONCE AGAIN THE AMAZINGNESS THAT IS SALAZAR WHATEVERHISFACE FROM ONE DIMENSION BEST THING EVER! ♥

Dennis is such a complex character. He has so much pain inside of him. It's brilliant and so saddening too. You wrote him so nicely. The interaction with him and Dean and Hannah was brilliantly done too. It was cute, and still angsty and sad at the same time.

And ugh the Sphinx! Just so many Colin feels you cruel woman. I can't. Especially just going back to the camera scene my tears are of blood. Seriously. How do you write so good. also i'm also kinda laughing as you always write so much and ehehe were totally forced to write in small amounts for this event :P okay okay. Great chapter, see ya at the last one!

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Review #7, by MissesWeasley123Event Three - All Quiet on the Post-War Front: heavy bones

12th July 2014:
So teh, you know how much I love you, right? Well, after One Dimension, I think I love you, if quite possible, even more ♥

Okay, so in this piece you carefully and very believably back up your reasoning as to why Hannah became a barwoman! I'm kinda crying because her mum's dead and the whole "she didn't exit the war cleanly" line at it's just not fair god dammit. I just feel so bad for her. And then Dean too!!! UGH. He was in the Cellar and it was so intense seeing him in that way. I found myself very much shipping them too. It's like why teh why mist you be so cruel but it's like fluff as well but drunk fluff but still lighter than the feels destroying stuff you usually write but then kinda angsty so it's like flangst or anguff you know.

Everyone was characterized and still cannot get over One Dimension teach me to be like you pls?? :P and then your descriptions are flawless as James Rodriguez's fathering skills so let's not go there. I really love you and this and now onwards!!!

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Review #8, by MissesWeasley123Thestrals: Hugo

12th July 2014:
ok brb crying my heart out. This story has managed to rather effectively destroy my feels. AND AHA LET ME TRIUMPH IN MY GENIUSNESS! first person, second person, and then third person. I swear I should be a Claw :P Just kidding Claws are insufferable most of the time shh :P This one was even more sad, because it wasn't canon, so we couldn't exactly expect anything... AND WHY DID YOU KILL MOLLY WHYYY. You're a meanie.

One of the things I loved about this story was not only the connection of Thestrals, but also the fact that it arches over three generations, and this one was definitely least expected and so it hurt a bit more, and took me by surprise. Your style of writing is flawless as ever. I really, really enjoyed reading this story. Congrats to you for managing to get it in so quickly, and such fab quality too.

House Cup 2014 Review
Go Lionsss ♥

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Review #9, by MissesWeasley123Thestrals: Neville

12th July 2014:
ERMAHGERD NEVILLE FEELS! This is a cruel chapter. First of all, guilt is the worst feeling ever! And that too with Neville, ahhh. You are definitely trying to make me sad this morning aren't you :P

I think it was brilliant, how Thestrals and death have had such a.. positive impact on his life! The Be brave, be strong throughout I think really encompasses Neville's life and the things he has gone through excellently. Ohh, and a change in style! Last chappie was first person, this was second... Hm, I wonder if the next one is in third person ;) Haha, you're a genius you know.

You were beaten, you were broken, but you were not dead. No, you'd only die when you gave up. -- I don't know why, but this line gave me so many emotions. It's like, "YES NEVILLE, MY BABY GO YOU GO YOU NEVILLE!" but it's also painfully saddening :( I don't know, you're just giving me some mixed reactions lol. Great work as always, had fun reading! I'm really gutted these stories didn't win the task :(

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Review #10, by MissesWeasley123Thestrals: Sirius

12th July 2014:
Hello! Wahh, I love your writing style! It's choppy, but in a good way, which is why I had so much fun writing waterfall. in your style (though it kinda failed it was like .0001% of your style so def not haha) but wow!

It's so intense, how you showed that Sirius could see Thestrals! We're told not many can see them, but it makes sense for him to be able to as he's from the house of Black, where these things are so common. That entire scene of torture was so intense and thrilling, but also sick in a way as well, which brings me to another point.

You used first person so well, that you made me feel whatever Sirius was feeling. That's something ... really brilliant. Honestly. Not only are you able to include thestrals in this, but it's such a valid reason too for him to leave the house, and your descriptions are wow. In a way you don't describe too much, but just enough which gives an even more massive blow.

The ending was so bittersweet-- he has a family ready to accept him but then the circumstances as well :9 feels, yo, feels. Great writing, had fun reading and now, onward!

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Review #11, by MissesWeasley123Event 3 - A Small Girl's Smile: What's in a Name?

12th July 2014:

Mwuah, I love how all of your stories kinda connect to RotG ;) WHICH YOU TOTALLY NEED TO UPDATE MISSY! This story was so sweet, and so simple and really beautiful and filled with genuine love. I'm very much in love with it. Everything about it was so pure, from the thought that went into the name and when he finally says, "Alice Longbottom" it hits me hard because aw.

And Hannah! She is such an understanding wife. I like to believe that deep down, Neville from the very start wanted to name her Alice, except didn't know if it was acceptable, and Hannah just needed to give him that little push. I don't know, but it just seems that way :P

Also, reading such a beautiful and touching moment in first person, makes the experience even more beautiful and wow, because it's so personal and I was definitely whisked away by it. Really, really great writing as always! ♥

House Cup 2014 Review ♥ Go lions!

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Review #12, by MissesWeasley123Event Three: Irreparable: Irreparable

12th July 2014:
Heya, I think you're a true superstar for the Claws, going and reviewing SO MANY STORIES!!! That's amazing, and I think you should totally be proud of how many you've left, and I wanted to make sure you were getting some of it back too! ♥

And wow, you chose to write about Marietta! That's brilliant. I always forget about her, and to be honest did a total gasp when I saw the whole SNEAK line come up in your story, as you chose to write about such a different character. I actually dislike her a lot haha, but you make me able to sympathize with her in this, and definitely put a different spin on her character :) To be able to write such a.. darker yet sweet story of overcoming things is a right talent as some authors require days and thousands of words to do it. You managed to do it in little of both, which is commendable.

The struggle you showed in the beginning, trying so hard to cover it up, was heartbreaking. It ina way reminds me sort of of women who have acid thrown on them... some of them go on to be wonderful women and overcome the way they look and accept it. It's sort of what Marietta did. I do feel a bit angry at Hermione though, as the effects were so strong :(

Brilliant work!Overall, this was a nice read, so great job! ♥
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hello!

Aw thank you so much, you're so sweet :) I'm definitely really happy to have left so many and you are such a gem for sharing the love on my story! ♥ You've left so many for Gryffindor yourself so you're pretty fantastic too!

I'm so glad you liked my choice of focusing on Marietta for this story! I have to agree with you there - I generally disliked Marietta but after writing this story I was able to at least understand her more and empathise with her. Thank you so much for the compliments, they really mean a lot to me!

I do think it would've been pretty heartbreaking to have your life change so much just by doing this one thing (tattling on the DA). Woah that's actually so true - it's really thought-provoking to realise that you're completely right - this kind of thing happens in modern society right now to people as well :(

Thank you for reading and thank you so much for leaving such a generous review. Your review definitely brought such a big smile to my face and I really appreciate it! :)

- Charlotte

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Review #13, by MissesWeasley123Burn Away the Darkness: Shine

12th July 2014:
Hello lovely! Stopping by to squeeze in some more reviews and also because this was the only one I hadn't reviewed, so it truly is now or never haha as you know how lazy I am :P

As an author, I would always find it hard to write Petunia mainly because she would be so painfully difficult to set my mind upon. I never really liked her, but now you've taken Petunia Dursley who's an extremely aggravating character, and given her so much depth and beauty. You managed to go through her life so wonderfully, from the very beginning, and the way it developed too. Your writing style is admirable and so different. I can't really describe it. You tell us the story mostly, and add in bits of showing too and it just works out so well.

Everything manages to flow together so wonderfully and the use of the prompt was brilliant. I have to say, how you managed to weave in snape's odd character was brilliant too! The most touching part was obviously the end, that as time passes so does all problems and there is always light. such a great note to end on. Lovely work!

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Review #14, by MissesWeasley123HC Event 3: The Last Time: The Last Time

11th July 2014:
Hello Amy! First time reading your work, and wow, is it great! Also, slight warning, my keyboard will not let me use certain punctuation marks, so there is a lack of contractions and this will sound like a formal and robotic review but THAT IS NOT THE CASE i promise.

So first of all, why are you so mean to the world, giving us such sad stories. Hm, at least it is a bit happier than the other Gred and Forge feel destroyers. The idea for them reuniting after death is a killer one, it is cute and really emotional as well. You showed their feelings and friendship and brotherhood so well in such few words, and that too you wrote this piece extremely fast as well! Great work on that Amy!

Your descriptions are ones to envy, they are so well written. You described Georges (cannot do apostrophes ah sorry) situation and surroundings so excellently in the beginning. You really have a knack for being able to paint such vivid images! Great work, Amy, I enjoyed reading this a lot!

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Review #15, by MissesWeasley123My Tears Are Becoming A Sea: aflame

11th July 2014:
Okay Astrid wins the award for the best author notes ever :P Also a slight warning, this review has zero contractions, failed possessive thingies, as my keyboard WILL NOT LET ME TYPE APOSTROPHES, QUOTE MARKS OR QUESTION MARKS!!! Okay, okay.

Omggg, so Astrid! Minerva, you wrote Minerva!! I am so proud of this entry, and all of the gryffies entries (still dunno why we did not win anything) as first of all, this plot is pretty amazing, and then the way you wrote it, just WOW. There are so many feels, because you write about her mother and then her busy father and aw, it makes me want to cry. Her relationship with Dougal (who is I repeat a babe) was os heartbreaking... how he did not think she loved him but she did she just... could not express it and ahhh why do you do this to me.

I think you wrote such a complex and tricky character in such a flawless way... I am blown away. This is the first time I have read your work, and I definitely will come back after this HC craziness! Loved this, really loved it!

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Author's Response: Ahh hey omg this was literally the CUTEST review lke wow! I wrote Minerva yeah!! I love her sooo much so it felt pretty natural!! but yeah the gryffie entries are amazing in general! But Dougal=huge babe!!! Thank you so much for the cool review, and if you wanna come back and read that would be sooo cool!!!

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Review #16, by MissesWeasley123Marked: The Price of Living

11th July 2014:
And so, he is finally marked. Wow. Before I begin, this review will seem rather formal, as my keyboard is being strange and now letting me use punctuation marks that are not exclamation marks and commas, also period. So this has a lack of contractions lol sorry Dan!

First of all, wow wow wow for Bellatrix. You get 10 out of 10 for her. Her anger in the beginning when she tells him it is not funny.. wow. Freaky as hell, and definitely frightening. That moment was so intense.

And I cannot tell you how thrilling the entire scene was with Voldemort. When he says that Lucius true masters (see how hard it is, without apostrophes, aghh) are pride and fear, it is so intelligent and so true in a way. And AGH SUSAN BONES!!! That part with the unbreakable vows are meant to be broken I could not explain to you how intense and genuinely creepy that was!

This story has been so amazing. Truly intense and has captured the story of Draco Malfoy brilliantly. Absolutely blown away, fabulous writing as always you literary and Draco genius!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hi, Nadia! Sorry about your keyboard. That would drive me completely bonkers!

Whew! Whenever I write Bellatrix, I always feel a huge amount of pressure to try to live up to Jami's Bellatrix, who is perfectly, marvelously insane. I'm never sure that I'm getting her quite right, so I really appreciate the compliments.

Oddly enough, I felt more comfortable writing Voldemort than Bellatrix. I feel like I understand him better, his motivations and reactions. Minimalist, I think, is the way to go with him. Minimalist, punctuated by outbursts of deranged anger. And I agree, he understands Lucius far better than Lucius understands himself.

Now that I think of it, I haven't written anything with Draco since back around Christmas. Maybe it will be time again soon...

Thanks so much for the lovely review!

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Review #17, by MissesWeasley123Like His Father: Like His Father

11th July 2014:
Karou, flamey, what are you doing with my feels, can you please not! (let us imagine there are many question marks behind that question haha, my keyboard is being weird and not letting me type any punctuation that is not an exclamation mark, comma, or period... so sad. Oh this also means I will be speaking without contractions.. sad...

First of all, I love the way you have written Harry. He is so true to JKRs Harry Potter we knew in the books... but you have taken him and just done so much more. this can be a total extra scene in the OrderoP, as it is so well written!

Man, I love the idea behind this. Neville is so cool,and when he was talking about Luna, I think that really paved the way for how Neville thought of himself, and how his own confidence had increased in such small time, because he was not being bullied or put down by any one, and that people were actually admiring him!

I have to say, if you allow me to, since the swap and this story, you have... wow. Your writing has improved SO MUCH KAROU! If you keep at it... yo, you are going to be one of the best writers on this site, I promise you.

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Review #18, by MissesWeasley123Event Three: Broken Noses and Percy Shelley: Broken Noses and Percy Shelley

11th July 2014:
Hey! You are such a superstar, going around and reviewing all these stories, the Claws better give you an award for it haha! And man, this story gave me feels. I never even thought... and wow, you took such a forgotten thing... and wow.

It is always Crabbe AND Goyle, and you showed it so well. I never would have thought their friendship would have been so deep, and so friendship like :P We think of them as bullies, but they had each other and we often forget that they were probably friends too. You really made me think with this, and that is pretty awesome. Oh and sorry for speaking without contractions lol, my keyboard is being weird and will not let me use apostrophes or quote marks OR html tags so I can quote some of your work ahh sorry for this rather robot like review :P

You definitely gave both Crabbe and Goyle a third dimension,and added onto both of them beautifully. I think the second person style you wrote this in worked so so so beautifully, this is a fabulous piece. Great work!!

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Review #19, by MissesWeasley123HPFF United Collaboration: The Quidditch Ban

10th July 2014:
Hello! this is a great story. Also, this review is a House Cup 2014 Review, and for educational decree #7!

We usually see people disregard Peter for Marauders but this was great and you showed their friendship really reallt well so good job on that! Regulus' character was done super well too, and I have to say that the quidditch scene was pretty epic! You did a fast paced scene with pure excellence and I think that shows how talented you are. Loved the commentary!!! ahaha i loved the part with madam pompfrey! McGonagall was pretty brilliant too, with excellent characterization again! BUT AHHH REGULUS!!! He is a total babe, and rather dreamy as well! ♥ Great work!

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Review #20, by MissesWeasley123Event 3 - Reunion: Reunion

10th July 2014:
Hiya Lauren! I think this might be the last review for me today... shh don't tell Sian :P And aw, this was the only one I never read I think, before you posted so it was fun to read something new from you! And again, your ability to write such fabulous things with a short deadline is AHMAYZING ♥

The way you characterized Hagrid was perfect. He is such a hard character to do, especially because of the way he speaks, and we know so little about him, but every thing you did was so canon-ly correct and this scene is a total head canon of mine! The idea itself is way too cute, for him to meet Norbert(a lol) after the war ♥ You did such a great job with the prompt, as this particular dragon played a key role in developing Hagrid's character, and was pretty awesome in the first book too!

Your imagery as always was beautiful, and I really loved this Lauren, brilliant writing from you as always!!! ♥

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Review #21, by MissesWeasley123The Boy and the Bowtruckle: Companion

10th July 2014:
Hi Kevin, what an amazing story! When you had first posted this, I ran over to read it as Sian told me it was great when she beta read it for you,and wow, was she right! Sorry it took so long though :( I've been awful with these reviews! ♥

I really love the concept behind this. The idea of why they are so good at what they do. You definitely were creative in a completely believable way for this story, and I'm in awe in how well and detailed you can write in such a small amount of time, and the pressure of a deadline! That too you wrote for all three prompts, eep!

You write children so well too Kevin, nothing felt awkward, in fact everything played out wonderfully. The way you planned and wrote this piece was great, and I'm so happy and proud we had one of these entries coming from our house, as it's something for our entire house to be proud of!

Great writing Kevin!
house Cup 2014 Review!

Author's Response: Nadia! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

For some reason the idea just infiltrated my mind when I read the prompt and then it worked out because I just kept wondering how on Earth Ollivander completely cornered the wand market in an entire country and decided there HAD to be more to it than just individual brilliance.

Thanks for the kind words about writing kids. I think they're a struggle because I tend to be a very serious person (too serious, honestly), and so kids who are so innocent and interested and NOT jaded are a battle even when I imagine they're pretty mature beyond their age like I think Ollivander must have been!

Thanks again for more kind words! You're awesome and they're very much appreciated!

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Review #22, by MissesWeasley123Hero: Hero

10th July 2014:
nerp Jenna why Jenna why. When Rose said this made you cry I knew I had to read it and I was rooting for this to win and it did, thankfully. You handled the emotions and the topic of this story so well, and it's really amazing how you did it.

First of all, to be able to write something of both quantity, and quality in such a short amount of time is amazing. But it's nothing I wouldn't expect of you, with your mad machine writing and such beautiful way with words.

The way you wrote Lily was brilliant. It's heartbreaking how she's the only one who visits him. You make up for Albus and James absence so well, it's entirely believable and so heart breaking. I love how she's the one who visits him, because she's the daughter and the youngest which makes it 100 times more sad but also uplifting.

You wrote Harry so well to, treating his condition with respect and so much care. I think this piece is such a well deserved win, and thank you for writing this and I really, really loved it Jenna. Beautiful, as always. ♥ ♥

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Review #23, by MissesWeasley123Dinner For Three?: Prompt 1

10th July 2014:
Hi Jess, just sending some love back to those who've left me reviews for this task as I probably won't be close to replying for the next 10 years! :P And AHH WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME, FUELING MY WANDERLUST WHAT STOP IT STOP IT. THIS STORY MAKES ME WANT TO PACK MY BAGS AND GO SOMEWHERE BUT SADLY BROKE :( *wipes tears furiously*

Haha, so Phillipe is definitely not nice :P When he said the french word which means poop except more offensive lol, I was like haha I know this one! :P Glad she slapped him though :P

I think for the short amount of time we got, you wrote a convincing tale of friendship and tied in the prompt of magical creatures so well too. It was hilarious how they all ended up being related to the magical world, and Gabriel was funny haha, this line was the best: "Actually, I'm without magic, that's kind of what squib means." -- that was kind of perfect :P I loved how light hearted this was and am kinda sad it didn't win :( It's a really good story, and the first I've read by you and I can say you have some talent missy!

I really enjoyed reading this, overall brilliant story!

House cup 2014 review, go lions! ♥

Author's Response: Aw, that's nice :3 HELLO!


I did french for three years in high school and I know next to nothing ;) the word for poop is definitely one of the few I do know though hehe.

I'm glad you found a little bit of it funny! I'm not really that funny a writer so :P feels good to know it maybe made someone laugh a little.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it :)


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Review #24, by MissesWeasley123Ashen Petals: Chosen

10th July 2014:
Hello Sevvy! I just got a wonderful review from you, so I wanted to make sure I stopped by your page as well ♥ I'd heard such great things about this, and wow.. I now know why.

It's so hard to get a story across in 500 words, love. And you do such great job with it too. It wasn't an overload of description, in fact it was just the right amount. And absolutely no dialogue either!

I have to comment also on your writing style. It's so different from anything we see. Especially this, when you do this: Defeated. Devoured. Powerless. Dead. -- when I read that, first of all, the description is so strong, and such excellent choice of words! The entire scene is extremely vivid haha. Also, the two word challenge, the way you used the two words is breathtaking. If this is the type of stuff that happens when you get writers block, you should definitely get it more often haha :P

Brilliant work, House Cup 2014 Review, I really enjoyed reading this! ♥

Author's Response: Wow, you must be fast on the uptake because I swear I only wrote you a review minutes ago! :'D (Heard? What heard? ;) smh)

Yes, this story really helped test my skills with description. It was a struggle trying to get a point across without droning on in descriptions like I usually do, but I am continuously glad I did.

Hah, I wish I could write that way again. Lately, it seems like I can't help but describe every single little thing in the scene! Maybe I should just limit them to words again like above. :') Shorter phrases do leave a stronger impression.

I'm so glad you think that, but Merlin writers block can be frustrating, you know. :P

Let's go Gryffies, we can totally do this! :D

Best Regards,
( - House Cup 2014 Review -
Go Gryffies!)

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Review #25, by MissesWeasley123Flutter: Flutter

10th July 2014:

Okay, so the girl. The girl really reminds me on Luna, and if you shall listen to me and read The Name of the Wind, Auri from that. I flee like you need people in your lives like her, as they show you it's okay to be different, and bring forth different perspectives at life. I think the second person worked so well to show how she was too, as it was going at Bowman like, "you" and how "you saw her" if that makes sense in a way :P

I think you characterized Bowman so well. His admiration and love for both Caro and the girl, was beautiful. He treated them both delicately, and how he acts around the girl is really sweet. It's amazing how you decided to show the invention of the snitch, using Caro and the girl.

Also, the GIRL! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO KILL HER YOU EVIL PERSON WHY WHY WHY. Her being too free to love him, was so heart breaking. It was good in a way, but so sad for him. Cannot handle, okay? :(

Beautiful writing as always, ♥

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