Reading Reviews From Member: wolfgirl17
  
332 Reviews Found

Review #1, by wolfgirl17Sever not the Lily flower, lest you bleed in the mud: One bloody word

16th August 2015:
Hey there,

Wolfgirl from the forums here to check out your fic when you mentioned you were looking for some feedback on it. I honestly can't fathom why you've not had more interest in the story up until now. I'm quite intrigued and I liked the way this chapter played out. You've got a good strong foundation here for the story to build upon and I legitimately am looking forward to reading the rest.

Now, some concrit.

There are a lot of instances throughout this where you've used rhetorical questions to portray Sev's thoughts, but have forgotten to include the question marks warranted by those questions. Make sure to do everything you can to keep on top of your spelling and grammar. On some site's like fanfiction dot net or Archive of our own such things aren't such a big deal, but most folks around here won't read a fic if there are spelling/grammar mistakes.

In addition to that, might I suggest removing the mention of tag warnings from the summary and removing the comment about reviews being appreciated? That kind of thing can be included inside the chapter in an author note, where you can also note any sections that need to be referenced back to the books or movies, or where you generally comment on the progression of the fic and what have you. Putting it in the summary is a sure-fire way to make people not want to read it. The idea of a summary is to represent your story in the best possible light in order to generate interest. You probably wouldn't read a book requesting that you expressly offer your opinions on it afterwards, and mention of the rating on a book is rarely included unless it's a small notation that the book contains content not suitable for certain ages.

In that vein, might I also suggest heading over to TDA (The Dark Arts) website where you can request a banner to be made for your story from one of the incredibly talented author's over there. You do need to make an account on the forums there to make the request, but one of the best ways to get people to click on your stuff is with a banner. In the long archive list stories without banners tend to be scrolled past.

Readers like me tend to assume that if an author can't be bothered to want to promote their story with a banner and with a hooking, uninterrupted by warnings/requests summary, then the story must not be all that good.

Obviously it's not the case in most instances, as yours is very good, but had it not been for the comment on the forums at HPFF I'd probably never have found/clicked on your fic due to the lack of banner and the inclusion of a request for reviews. It tends to rubs some folks the wrong way as it comes off as desperate or sullen and you don't want that.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this first chapter. I liked the way you had Sev being so wishy-washy as he tried to work out if he was grateful to Lily for standing up to James on his behalf or if he was mortified and annoyed that she was always seeing him in bad lights where he's looking weak, lonely and like a loser. That would be incredibly frustrating. Not to mention he's trying to fathom whether or not he'll ever get out of the Friendzone with her.

All in all you've got an interesting start here and please don't be discouraged by the minimal amount of reviews thus far. Lots of people won't open a fic until there are a few chapters published as they don't like reading a really great beginning without knowing if it's actually going to go somewhere/be updated on a regular basis. Another important tip is to try and keep to some kind of schedule regarding updates. These days I recommend not even beginning to publish the fic until you have a complete draft. Even if you're likely to edit more in later, it's best to wait until the draft is complete, that way you can update regularly. That's a great way to generate interest too. If people see your fic consistently jumping to the top of the updated list, they'll realise you're dedicated and that the story is going places and they'll be more likely to open it up and leave you gushy reviews.

I look forward to reading the next chapter when I've got the time. Keep up the good work. I'm expecting big things from you!

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hi Ellie,

thank you for taking the time to write a review.

I usually strive to publish an error-free text. In the case of rhetoric questions, I simply wasn't aware that in English they absolutely necessarily mandate a question mark, and therefore decided to use full stop as a stylistic choice. If this is really a mistake, I will take care to fix it.

Yeah, pandering for reviews does come off as desperate, as it would in real life. Mind you, I recall reading it somewhere on this site as a recommendation, but I might have simply misread.

As for the banner, I am at a crossroads. On one hand, I wouldn't really want to use something that isn't made by me. On the other hand, I absolutely cannot work with Photoshop, even if I do have actors in mind and particular pictures of them to use in a banner. Drawing also isn't really an option. So I guess I'll make a compromise and not draw my own Sev and Lily. Thanks for the recommendation.

Sev is really confused right now - he's horrified with himself, he has been humiliated by James and the Slytherins will not be happy about that, and his chances to get out of the friendzone with Lily are, as he sees it, nullified. And now he has to worry about the OWLS, too. At this stage writing him iv very personal, because it brings back memories from high school, welcome and unwelcome alike. But having been in a similar position to him, I find him easier to write than Lily - a girl's point of view, and also that of a character as lively and strong-willed as Lily has always been tricky to describe for me, seeing as I am neither.

I tend to write chaotically, and as such, am unable to plan the story from beginning to end. I have the arc and the key plot points, but everything else just crystallises randomly around some ideas that pop into my head. I guess I'll have to work on that too. At the very least I have a bunch of accumulated half-written scenes, but most of them are further away in the story.

Thank you once more for the criticism and the kind words, but especially for the criticism. I needed it.

Nhaz





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Review #2, by wolfgirl17Crossing the Borderline: Aaliyah: The Party

16th August 2015:
Hey Sama!

Wolgirl here finally with your requested review from my review thread. I'm sorry it took me so long. I keep falling off the wagon *blushes*

As always I absolutely adored this chapter. It was a little slower than the others, but you have this knack for weaving more and more secrets and plot-points into a tale and I can't wait for it all to come out.

Right now I'm think James maybe kinda fancies Aaliyah, but that maybe he and Gabby are kinda regretting their break-up too and I'm totally intrigued about the hatred between Aaliyah and Rose and I adore the way you portray Scorpius when he's drunk and upset over Rose not paying attention to the fact that he's alive.

And oh my gosh I'm rambling. Look at what you do to me with your tricky writing and your skills and your awesomeness! You've got me gushing and rambling over the characters to such an extent that when I read I forget about the need to be focusing on things that I can concrit or on trying to pick up on instances where you could include more Britishisms and the like and goodness me!

I really do absolutely adore your work Sama, I love the amount of personality and characterisation you bring to everyone in your fics and the way they don't feel flat and boring but are instead brimming with spunk and awesomeness and secrets. You truly have a gift.

I'm probably not achieving much for you in the way of detailed reviews at this point, but do keep requesting more reviews as this story is to die for and I might die if I don't make time to finish it. At least with the requests I can try and bring some notion of structure to it *she says, prodding the sentences and trying to get them to budge up in ways that make sense*

Keep up the positively brilliant work, love. You're stuff is to die for!

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hey, Ellie! That's really alright! The wait it always worth it when it comes to you and you didn't take long at all. :)

It was a long chapter and I think that's why it moved slowly and there was a lot of interactions that needed to happen.

James, I really want to hug him! He's such a sweetie and you're right about the break up, from his part anyway. I think Rose is a character that shows another side of Aaliyah. She shows that Aaliyah isn't liked by everyone and that Aaliyah is capable of disliking someone. Ah, Scorpius! Poor soul... he only wants Rose to just look at him and notice him.

Tricky writing? I like that description and thank you for the compliments! *blushes*

It's great to hear that my characters don't feel flat. That's always a worry since there are so many of them. (I think that's what happens when one of your main characters are a part of the Weasley/Potter clan.) And yes, they all have their secrets... even the ones who seem totally innocent. ;)

I think for me hearing a reader's thoughts on events and characters help a lot. It gives me direction on what I'm doing wrong or what I should do more of. So, don't worry about it not being detailed about britishisms and what not because you still give me insight on my characters which for me his huge. And I will definitely re-request! I love hearing from you!

Thank you so, so much for taking the time to leave this! There is a super short and Aaliyah interaction in the future chapters and I'm hoping to put more of them in.

~Sama


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Review #3, by wolfgirl17Fairy Lights and Mistletoe: Fairy Lights and Mistletoe

16th August 2015:
Hey Mads,

Ellie here finally with your review from my request thread. Sorry it took me so long, I keep falling off the wagon *blushes*

Anyway, I'm here now and that's what matters! I was so pleased when I saw you'd made a request, and especially thrilled that it's a Dramione. I love it when other people are as mad about Dramione as me. I was especially fond of this marvelously sweet, fluffy Dramione story you've written.

It's just to die for!

Admittedly I was a little surprised at first, since it's not often one finds a fic where Hermione and Draco are already couple, but I liked the way you made Draco the right amount of the boy we know and love combined with the man he's grown to be after the war and after spending three years dating Hermione.

The double engagement would've caused quite a stir, that's for sure! I liked the way you portrayed the whole story and I absolutely adored diving into such a light-hearted and delicious depiction of our favourite couple. I've been leaning a lot towards darker versions of the couple lately, both in my own writing and in the fics I'm reading, so it was refreshing to find that I still love the rot-my-teeth sweetness the couple can have when written by incredibly talented authors like you.

Thanks so much for stopping by and requesting. It was a pleasant and welcome break from the next-gen stuff that tends to be requested most in my thread.

Dramione forever! LOL

Anyway, feel free to stop by for more requests and I cannot wait to read your entry for my Dark Turn challenge. I'm nervous about how you'll portray our favourite pairing with a dark and gritty twist!

Keep up the great work, I love your stuff!

xx-Ellie (wolfgirl)

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Review #4, by wolfgirl17Forever: Questions

22nd July 2015:
Hey Kaitlin,

So I've decided to make a dedicated effort to reviewing all the other entries for every challenge I enter, so here I am, checking out this fabulous entry.

It's such a sweet story and though I had some trouble imagining Ron saying all those silly things when he was pretend-proposing to Harry, I just loved this. I loved the way you had him, in typical Ron fashion, saying:

"Oi Hermione! I'm trying to propose here!"

That was my favorite line. It was hilarious and I can totally see Ron getting frustrated with her in his nervousness and his excitement to propose to the woman he loves. It would be just like Hermione to be thinking about it being cold and him being weird because it's so out of character for him to be commenting on the beauty of a city.

I couldn't stop smiling throughout the whole fic and I think you utilized your quote really well. Such a great story. I love all of your work. It's brilliant.

I can't wait to read more of your stuff on the other challenges and I'm so excited to see your entry for my Dark Turn challenge. Also, my entry for your After Affects challenge is coming. I've been having some trouble getting it through the queue (it's been rejected twice for controversial content) but I think I've fixed it now. Just as soon as I get the green light from Rose and ti's validated I'll have it over to you ASAP. I built on that comment you made about Blaise's PTSD coming from being abused as a child. I hope that's ok?

Keep up the brilliant writing and your wild entering of all of the challenges ever! *cheers like a slightly spastic cheerleader with a gimpy leg*

xx-Ellie

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Review #5, by wolfgirl17Bad Blood: Chapter 2: Limbo

21st July 2015:
Hey There Lumos!

Wolfgirl back again with you requested review form over at the forums.

So right off the bat I noticed a few typos in here, including this one in the second sentence:

"Itís not like our father and I hate having you in the house. Itís quite pleasant actually, believe it or not.Ē

Where you've written "our" instead of "your".

You mentioned in your request that this was a bit of a filler chapter and it does feel that way a little. You've managed to sit it well because she's at a stage in her life where she's also just kind of filling in time and trying to figure out what she wants to do with herself.

Thus far I'm not seeing much in the way of plot other than that you've set it up that she's finished school and is off to get an internship, which I assume is where she will run into Scorpius as he will also get one or something. Do you have any other plan in the works regarding the romance and such things??

Keep it up.

xx-Ellie

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Review #6, by wolfgirl17Traitorous Hearts: The Lady of Greengrass Hall

21st July 2015:
Hey Penny,

Wolfgirl here from over at the forums with your requested review.

So right out the gate I noticed that this sentence is missing some words:

"For years she worked, funneling information to the forces of the Dark Lord. She had remained loyal while awaiting his return, and she rejoiced when, in a crumbling village cemetary in Little Hangleton, her master was restored and, more importantly, her position."

I think maybe at the end there you meant to say that along with the restoration of her master, her position as a spy was restored to her, but there are some words missing so it doesn't quite make sense. You also spelled cemetery incorrectly. If you have time you might want to just pop over and do an edit to fix those things up.

Beyond that I really like this. Lavinia seemed liked quite the character and by the looks of things she taught Astoria everything she knew. This was a wonderful chapter and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. The Subterfuge at play is exciting and I'm utterly intrigued to find out where this will go and how it will all play out for Astoria as she betray the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters with a far too insightful Draco Malfoy keeping an eye on things.

Keep up the great work!

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hey chicadee!

Thank you so much for your sharp eye and thoughtful review, and for the extra help you've given me in trying to clear up that sentence.

I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter, and thanks again for the CC!

--Penny


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Review #7, by wolfgirl17Morningstar: Watching You Fall

21st July 2015:
Hey Rose,

I saw that you had a new story up and I thought I would pop by to check it out.

And you blind-sided me!

I wasn't expecting that whallop of emotion when I clicked over and began to read, lured in by every words and sucked into Sirius's love and his despair. I have an intoxicating flirtation at play when it comes to wolfstar, and I love the way fics like this flirt with the blurring of the love for a friend into the love for a lover and partner.

This story was just everything. I loved it. I wanted to cry at the ending thoughts of Sirius, alone and forgotten even in death with all his attention riveted on a man who doesn't love him like that anymore.

The sentences you had about yearning for a friendly smile or an embrace and receiving neither broke my heart. In stories like this I've always favored Remus as the fragile one, Remus as being the one chasing after Sirius in futility. This turning of the tables you have executed makes me see Sirius in a new light and I find myself hurting for him.

You've shown us that Sirius truly would've done anything for his friends, including giving up his true love to allow Remus to be happy with another.

Such a great story, I adored it, (if you couldn't tell from my babbling). This was a divine piece of writing and I look forward to seeing more from you soon.

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Ellie!!

I am so happy you stopped by!! And :-o so sorry you were blind-sided by this.

Wolfstar is one of my favorite ships because it obviously falls apart at some point. In my headcanon they fell apart in the first war (in a big way) but became friends again right before OotP. Writing this was a bridge between the Sirius I write about in my Remus/Tonks novels and the person I left at the end of my last Wolfstar story. There definitely is a confusing line between friend and lover here - they were lovers before and now agreed to be friends but for Sirius that was supposed to be a path to being lovers again.

Originally I wasn't going to take this until his death but that was the only natural ending point. He love Remus until he died although it was quite unrequited by then.

I feel like Remus is fragile in other ways but when it comes to love he is very closed off. Too much hurt and pain for him to be open and vulnerable. In OotP Sirius seemed so desperate for affection (even from Harry - not creepy affection, just any form of love) that I could see him desperate for what he and remus had together.

Sirius did really sacrifice his own self interests for Remus' happiness. At a point, he definitely saw that he was a thing of the past and tonks was remus' way forward. I just want to hug him now.

I'm so thrilled that you liked this story! Thank you for such a wonderful and glowing review!

-Rose


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Review #8, by wolfgirl17Spoons: spoons.

20th July 2015:
Hey there Joanie,

I saw your status update on the forums about this being up on the archives and I thought I'd pop over and check out the competition. When I noticed it was about Molly and Arthur grieving Fred's death I was worried there'd be water works, and blast it all I was right to be concerned!

I cried my eyes out over that little lost-pointing spoon on the clock!

What have you done to me?

The loss of Fred in the Weasley family is still hard for me to accept and every time I think of it I am reminded of sitting in my bed at home when I was sixteen, crying my heart out as he died. You've taken me right back there, to that moment, spilling tea on myself because I'm sobbing so hard over the heartache the family feels at losing him; over the feelings of being utterly lost and alone George must be suffering without his other half.

J.K did the unforgivable when she killed our Fred and the way you've portrayed the loss here just breaks my heart all over again.

*wanders away sniffling in search of tissues*

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hi Ellie!

Is it bad I am giddy over your tears? Lol, just kidding. I just can't believe it made you cry! I'm the same way about reading stories about Fred's death - they kill me. I guess I just like to torture myself. I never figured I would write well enough to make other people cry.

Now that you mentioned you're my competition, I'm going to have to pop over to your stories and see what I'm up against!

Thanks so much for the review, it means a lot.


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Review #9, by wolfgirl17Beyond Repair: Don't Let Go

20th July 2015:
Hey Renee,

Wolfgirl here again because I couldn't resist reading this chapter too. I really loved the way you portrayed them as being little girls together. Being the elder of two siblings myself, I recall a time or two when I no longer wanted a playmate in my kid-brother now that I had friends at big-school.

And just like Petunia and Lily we used to fight terrible and say horrible things to one another. I liked that you ended it with Petunia being nice to Lily and them having fun together and I love the foreshadowing of magic to come in the way Lily was able to heal her wound and to prevent herself from ending up in the street to be run over and mangled.

I really liked this story. So much in fact that I'm going to put it on my favorites list. It's really lovely. I love the innocence of Lily and Petunia as little girls and I can't wait to see where you take the rest of the story. I will most certainly be back to read more, so please type as fast as you can.

Keep up the brilliant work. You're marvellous!

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Ohmygoodness, Ellie! OH MY GOODNESS.

I should probably reply to your review of the first chapter before this one, but I just can't wait a moment.

This put the biggest grin on my face and absolutely made my day! I can't believe you added my bashful little story to your favorites! No one has ever said that in a review for me before, I don't think. ALL THE HEARTS FOR YOU!

I'm really glad you felt a connection to the story. That's very reassuring. I actually don't have a sister, and my only brother is quite a bit older than me, so I suppose I'm a bit of an odd duck for venturing into sibling territory with this story.

Also, I'm glad you picked up on the hints of magic. Lily is supposed to have "a lot" of magic, so I wanted it to start young.

I'm not quite sure how to express how much your reviews mean to me, except to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! And, to go leave my better-late-than-never review on your story!

grinning like a maniac,
Renee


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Review #10, by wolfgirl17Beyond Repair: Daddy's Little Flowers

20th July 2015:
Hey Renee,

Wolfgirl here for our review swap.

This was a really interesting little chapter. I loved the way you captured the feeling of being forgotten and a little unloved when a new baby comes into the family. Elder children who are old enough to understand when they're spoken to and how much attention their getting tend to get lost in the feeling of being replaced, though they often don't realise that at the time.

The foreshadowing for the rift to come between Lily and Petunia in this was also really well-laid out, beginning at birth Petunia has feelings of inadequacy as a result of Lily being in her life.

Overall this was well written and really intriguing to read. I definitely enjoyed it and I look forward to reading more. Thanks so much for contributing it to the archives for us readers to enjoy =)

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hi again, Ellie! Thanks for another lovely review! (I know you actually wrote this one first, but you know what I mean.) You seem to have really understood the story the way I hoped readers would, so THANK YOU for that. It is wonderful to know that you would like to read more.
Thanks again! You're a peach!
Renee


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Review #11, by wolfgirl17Dizzy: Dizzy

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2105 - Hufflepuff

Hey there,

This was such a sweet, fluffy story and I really enjoyed reading it. I liked the way you described the shop and the way you made Sweets and Freddie weird. The way you described how a loved one can make you dizzy with how wonderful they are and how happy they make you was spot on and just right. The whole story had me smiling like a fool as I read every line.

I especially liked the way you left off with such hope for the future with their impending wedding a parenthood. This was just a really good, feel-good, smile until my cheeks hurt kind of story. Thanks ever so much for contributing it to the archives. You're a wonderful writer.

xx-Ellie

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Review #12, by wolfgirl17What It Takes: What It Takes

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

Naw Cassie!

This story was so sweet. I loved this look into the life of Hannah and the way you had her best friend being a muggle. It's a really neat idea. I've not read much about Hannah before. I also really liked the way you had it told from Simon's POV giving us all a look into this strange muggle who is best friends with a witch.

Your characterization of Simon was well done and I really enjoyed reading this story. I especially liked the way you had him interacting with baby Frank. He'd definitely be a cool Godfather. Keep up the great work, you're writing is, as always, marvelous.

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hi Ellie!
I'm so glad you liked this story! I really enjoyed writing Hannah. I'd only written her once before (for last year's House Cup), and that story was also about her friendship with Simon, so it was really fun to explore it a little more here. I'm really pleased to hear that you liked Simon! I think he'd be a pretty cool godfather, too.
Thank you for the lovely review!
Cassie :)


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Review #13, by wolfgirl17A Beacon of Light: It is Gone

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff!

Hey there,

For your first try at a one-shot you did really well. i really liked the way you described the school as being Edith's Beacon of Light and the place where she was happy and carefree. Where being poor didn't matter so much. I really liked the way this felt like such a comparison to Harry's view of Hogwarts, where he too thinks of the school as being a place for happiness and friends and laughter and wonderfulness.

The way you ended was very poignant and sudden, but in a good way. It felt truly as though as a reader, I was right there with Edith, feeling her suffering over having to leave the one place she loves behind in favour of some unknown faraway place that could never compare to all she has known.

You did a really great job on this and this story was truly a pleasure to read. Keep up the good work!

xx-Ellie

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Review #14, by wolfgirl17Noise: Noise

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

Hey Buddy,

I adored this story. i really loved the way you did the time-lapse thing to cover a lot of information in snippets. I also really liked the idea of Neville becoming a werewolf. He'd make a good werewolf, I reckon. This was a really wonderful story and I like the way you had Mrs Longbottom shout at him about it being a full moon before it all came rushing back to him about being bitten and ending up a werewolf.

I loved the way you described the change within him and the way you described the pain and the horror of the transformation including the way his mind slipped away last, leaving him nothing but the wolf.

Keep up the great work. Your stuff is brilliant!

xx-Ellie

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Review #15, by wolfgirl17Our Brand of Normal : Chapter One

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

Hey Buddy,

Me again here to hit up your fic. I feel bad that I didn't get here until TAR when I should've been by sooner to check out your NaNo project since we were cabinmates. Anyway, I made it now and that's what counts. I really liked the contemplation in this fic over what it actually is to be normal.

Normal is a pretty loosely termed word these days and it's hard to define as being any one thing without offending some minority who doesn't subscribe to the particular parameters of what is being deemed as normal. I really look forward to reading more about Charlotte and I do hope to see some more updates on this one really soon.

Really great beginning to what promises to be a positively marvelllous fic. Keep up the fantastic work, my friend, you're doing great!

xx-Ellie

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Review #16, by wolfgirl17He Visits Twice A Day: Twice A Day

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

Hey there,

So this one had all the poignancy and mystery and it was just wonderful to read. I loved the mysteriousness of the entire story and the way you ended on the idea of maddess and despair pulled at the character, and I loved the way you used such fancy language to really bring another level of awesomeness to this piece of writing.

Overall a really interesting fic that I enjoyed immensely. Keep up the good work and I hope to read more from you soon.

xx-Ellie

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Review #17, by wolfgirl17First Kiss: First Kiss

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

Hey Katie,

Me again with another review for TAR because you're one of my favorite puffs ever! Also, this story was so sweet and fluffy and wonderful. I love the way you write James in all your pieces as being a bit of a goofball and being totally chivalrous and charming and endearing. I also loved that you made it so he'd waited to kiss anyone until he kissed Lily because he wanted it to be special.

It was such a sweet thing for him to have done and i couldn't stop smiling throughout this whole piece. I love your writing (if you hadn't caught onto that by now) and everything about the way you write James/Lily as a ship is brilliant.

Keep up the wonderful work. You're totally making me ship these two more than ever!

xx-Ellie

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Review #18, by wolfgirl17Happiness: The Eye of the Beholder

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

Hey Katie,

I feel so bad that it's taken this crazy TAR to finally get me over to your page to check out all your stuff when you're such an amazing author. However, I am here now and that makes it all worthwhile as all of your stories are positively wonderful.

I especially liked the contemplation James had going on in this fic, and the way he's so devotedly in love with Lily. I also loved the line about her hexing him for drooling at her. It gave an otherwise contemplative and slightly introspective story a little shot of humor and made me chuckle. I can totally picture James staring at Lily in a class, drooling a little and not paying the slightest attention to anything other than the way she raises her hand when she knows the answer to something, of the way she flicks he hair back to better take notes.

Seriously, your writing is all really good and I am envious of your ability to write James and Lily so well. You're marvelous, you know?

*spreads puffy love all over you with big cuddles and an offering of marshmallows*

xx-Ellie

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Review #19, by wolfgirl17Exit Wounds: Exit Wounds

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

Hey Bud,

This was such a powerful fic and I feel you captured these side effects of mental illness, depressing and cutting really well. It was good that you made sure to include the nasty habit cutters have of putting the cuts in places people won't see so they are less likely to be caught and less likely to be judged for their weakness. I also liked the way you included a description of them being badges of a hard-won battle with oneself to overcome the pain and horror of depression by wanting to keep the scars as a reminder of what had been achieved and what could happen again if one were to relapse.

You did have a couple of typos throughout the fic that jarred me out of the characterization and immersion that comes with 1st person POV writing, so if you have time, you might want to do an edit to catch those and really improve the flow of the story.

Great job!

xx-Ellie

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Review #20, by wolfgirl17It's All In Your Head: Chapter One

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

Hey Sam!

Holy Guacamole you weren't kidding the other day when you said you had a lot of chapters and fics to push through the queue. This first chapter was really intriguing. I really enjoyed reading it. I've not read much about the Scamander twins before and this look into their life was really great. When I'm not rushing through the HC for the TAR I will be coming back to check out the rest of this story as I've really enjoyed this first chapter.

I did get a little confused throughout regarding there being Lorcan, Lysander and Lysandra... or was the one where you wrote Lysander a typo?? Are they triplets? Or twins as Boy/girl?

Anyway, keep up the good work and I'll PM you soon about that chapter for our collab entry.

xx-Ellie

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Review #21, by wolfgirl17United We Stand: United

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

Hey Katie,

Me again. So, I'm not the biggest soccer fan in the world, but even I got excited about it throughout this story. I found James really relateable since I would be the one sitting there with very little idea of the rules, but probably able to understand if they were explained to me in reference to NRL game rules, since those I know.

I also found it cool the way you personified Lily's Dad, and especially liked the way you had him shouting and swearing at the ref like the many dedicated men who attend such matches.

All in all this was a really great story and I really enjoyed reading, even if soccer isn't my number one favorite sport. James and Lily were totally adorable in this and I love your writing!

xx-Ellie

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Review #22, by wolfgirl17If You Want To: If You Want To

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

Hey Katie,

This was such a sweet, fluffy story that I can feel my teeth rotting and I loved every second of it. I especially liked the way you had James be such a gentleman and not take advantage of Lily being drunk. It was very cool, and I'd like to think James really would've been like that. That he loved her so much that no matter how badly he might've liked to snog her and sleep in the same bed with her, he would hold off until she was sober and knew what she was doing.

I loved this fic and I'm going to be stalking your AP from now on for all your news stories as everything I read from you is fantastic. keep up the fabulous work my friend, you're wonderful!

xx-Ellie

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Review #23, by wolfgirl17When Arthur Saved Molly: When Arthur Saved Molly

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff for the win!

Hey Sam,

This was a really great story. I've not read much Arthur/Molly before and I really liked the way you made Molly quirky and wild and a bit of an oddball. I liked that of the two of them Arthur seemed the normal one, even though in canon we see him more as an eccentric for all things muggle and complete blaze (why doesn't this blasted box let me do the e with the stroke for the right word inflection???) about everything going on around him, as in the 2nd movie when he's more concerned about how the car flew than the boys breaking the rules and the law to save Harry from the Dursleys.

I did notice a few typos throughout that could use attending if you have the time, such as:

"Molly smelled in a self-satisfied way."

I think you meant to write 'smiled' here?

Anyway, a really cool story about this marvellous pair. I liked this window into their lives before they're happily married with so many children. Keep up the great work!

xx-Ellie

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Review #24, by wolfgirl17If Only In My Dreams: If Only In My Dreams

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff!

Hiya Buddy,
I absolutely adore the Blaise/Ginny ship and the way you've portrayed this one-sided longing from Blaise is just divine. I really liked the way you included the Patented Daydream thing the twins invented, it's such a cool idea and I love see how others go about describing it's use and the effects it has upon the caster.

I also really loved the way Blaise is so tormented in this fic by the knowledge that his love is unrequited. The line about him wondering what "Wonder Boy Potter" has that he doesn't and how it would haunt him for the rest of my life totally broke my heart.

Such a great story. I love the way you're able to capture such marvellousness in so few words. You truly have a knack for it and it makes me smile every time I read one of your fics!

xx-Ellie

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Review #25, by wolfgirl17Days Like This: Day's Like This

20th July 2015:
House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

Hey Love,

This story was packed full of so much emotion and I absolutely loved it. Rose and Scorpius are one of my favorite couples, and I just love the way you had Socrpius being such a great guy in this. I especially liked the last line where he said he'd wanted to kiss her for ages. It leaves the reader with such hope that after so much angst from Rose about being single, things are looking up and looking as though she and Scorpius will get together.

A wonderful little story you've got here and I love your writing. You have a gift, my friend. Keep up the utterly fabulous work and good luck with all your future writing endeavors!

xx-Ellie

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