Reading Reviews From Member: wolfgirl17
249 Reviews Found

Review #1, by wolfgirl17Through the Black: Summer Nights

25th March 2015:
Hiya Claire,

Ellie here with your requested Review. Finally. I' so sorry it's taken me so long. I've been so slack and I have no excuse!

Now, onto the review. As always, I loved it.

I think your description of Nettie's reaction was very realistic. If you read my Take the Tumble fic all the way to the end you'll see that I have a far more extreme reaction from my characters.

Anyways, this chapter does a lot more to progress the plot and it's all very exciting. I like that Julianne and Sirius are out in the open and official together now. I liked how sweet Sirius was about it too, very cute when he was saying that it was definitely going to work out.

I can't wait to see where you're going to take this, though I suspect there's going to be some family drama soon. Unless I'm imaging the foreshadowing regarding Julianne's parents, what with her Mum being so tired all the time and her Dad always being so busy with work.

I'm interested to see how her Dad will react when he finds out she's dating Sirius too, I imagine it's going to all very emotional and upsetting. Speaking as someone still dealing with drama from her father over her boyfriend choices, I can say that it's going to be upsetting and awful and frustrating as all get out.

Anyways, pretty please update again soon. I love your work!


Author's Response: Hey, Ellie!

Ok, I'm so glad that it came off as natural, I was freaking out the whole time I was writing that scene and I probably annoyed my friend to death asking her about it :P

Hehe, I really love the whole 'Sirius is a hopeless romantic' kind of thing, just because I see it really fitting into what we know about his character.

Yes, family drama does play a very large part in the rest of the story. Maybe not the exact way that you're imagining, but it's definitely going to be there and it's definitely going to be big :)

Thanks again for taking the time to review this! I always love getting your reviews!


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Review #2, by wolfgirl17Hermione Granger and the Dead Man's Mark: Chapter One

25th March 2015:
Hiya Hori!

Wolfgirl17 here with your requested review. Finally. I'm sorry it's taken me so long. I have no real excuse other than that I'm a lazy sod. I could say I've been busy with work and being Seeker for the current match on the forums, or crazily updating all my fics and it would be true, but mostly I've just been being a slothenly git.

And Holy Guacamole you write long chapters! I mean, I know in your AoC you said you did but I wasn't expecting it to be quite so long, and the others after this are even longer! You are seriously dedicated. I rarely write a chapter longer than 4-5k.

So first off, your comma placement seems a little off. There are several sections where you've used one unnecessarily. Think of commas as a pause for breath whilst speaking. If you wouldn't take breath midsentence, don't use the comma. If you use it, read it aloud and it sounds silly to take a pause there, delete it.

That being said, I must admit that this story is highly addictive and upon clicking over here I noticed I had alreayd placed it on my list of favorites and on my reading list, though I didn't recall doing so.

You're story is very good, and the preoccupation with magical tattooing is one that intrigues me greatly. You've ensnared me with this first chapter and I admit to wanting very fervently to read on.

Please do continue to request if you'd like in depth reviews that speak to constructive criticism rather than nonsensical babbling. =)

This is so very fascinating!


Author's Response: Hiya! Thanks for taking the time to review. Don't worry about how long it took. Heaven knows I don't do anything quickly, so I won't begrudge to taking a few days. ;)

Yes, the chapters are long as all heck. I say it all the time, but you wouldn't believe the length these get to before I take my editing chainsaw to them. I'm glad you were intrigued, because I'd like to know what you think of the continuing story and I don't want to re-request a review on something you hated. Especially when the chapters get massive later on. O_o

The over-using commas is particularly problematic in my earlier chapters, I agree. I think I've gotten much better at pruning them out of my work recently. Sooner or later I'll have to do a serious round of editing on all the earlier chapters. I have a strange habit of sometimes hitting the comma when I pause in the middle of writing a sentence.

Happy that you liked the idea of magical tattoos! It's honestly been a blast to try and fit the concept within the canon of Harry Potter. Soon I'll be able to start posting the chapters that explore the history of magic tattoos, so that should be fun! ;)

Thanks again for the review!

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Review #3, by wolfgirl17Bunny Slippers: Neville

25th March 2015:
Wolfgirl, back again with more of your winnings

Oh the way you've added to this is so splendiferous! The whole thing is so much more heart-breaking and sad and you've made me sniffly again! You and your emotive-ness!

As always, you have a fantastic chapter on your hands, and a positively wonderful story. I can't wait to read more of your work, so you need to get updating!


Author's Response: Hi Ellie!

It makes me really happy that you like the ending to this story. I worked really hard at and re-wrote it about 5 different times.

Thank you so much for all of your reviews, kind comments, and encouragement! They really make me happy! :D


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Review #4, by wolfgirl17Bunny Slippers: Kingsley

25th March 2015:
Me again with more winnings!


Is it me or have you fleshed this out a it more than when I read it?

I loved it! It's marvellous and it really fleshes it out from a one-shot to a short-story. Kudos on writing such a powerful piece.
You're awesome Kaitlin!

The way you've expanded this makes it so much more interesting and exciting and adds that extra dimension to the story that a one-shot lacks.

Fantastic work! I must read more!


Author's Response: Hi again Ellie,

This is absolutely more fleshed out. The first time you read it, it was about 2000 words long. Now its 7,300 words long.

I'm glad the short story set up works better for you. After some suggestions from reviewers and a lot of thought, I really felt like each character should really have their own chapter.

Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #5, by wolfgirl17Bunny Slippers: The Longbottom Family

25th March 2015:

Me again with your winnings. So my last review on Ticking Away Seconds won't make much sense now since I thought this was a one-shot when I beta'd it for you and so didn't notice you'd put it in 3 parts. You'll still be on review short though. If you like we can put it on hold until your next chapter of Rosebuds is published or any other fics your working on are published??

As you know from my reading it before you posted this, I adore this fic. It's very powerful and emotive and so heart-wrenching that it saddens me so much. The Longbottom family have such a sad end that it hurts me to think of this additional son in the mix we never knew about. As if they haven't suffered enough, you go and throw this at them too?

How can you do this to me?

This fic breaks my heart, and knowing what's to come only makes it harder yet irresistible to press that 'Next Chapter' button. Great story!


Author's Response: Hi Ellie,

Yeah it was a bit hard to make the Longbottom story any more tragic than it already was. Neville is one of my favorite characters, so I desperately wish I could've written him something more happy.

I'm sorry that it's making you sad, but at the same time I'd be a bit worried if it didn't. After everything poor Neville goes through, it's hard not to feel for him.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #6, by wolfgirl17Ticking Away Seconds: Bittersweet Kisses

25th March 2015:
Hiya Kaitlin,

It's me here with your winnings reviews for the Break the Mold Challenge. And we have a problem. After I finish this fic, the only story of yours I won't have reviewed yet is Bunny Slippers, which will be next.

In total, you winnings are supposed to be 6 reviews. You've got 1 for your entry fic, one here and one for Bunny Slippers on the way, but after that I've literally reviewed every single one of your fics, including the chapters of Gather Ye Rosebuds, leaving us with a problem as you'll only technically be getting 3 for the winnnings when you deserve more.

So what should we do about it?

By the way, this fic is marvellous. It's so heartbreaking and sweet and bittersweet all in one and you've left me all sniffly! As always you're writing it lovely and emotive, and I positively adore the way you've portrayed Sev in this fic. He's grown to be a favourite of mine, so to see such a representation is absolutely fantastic.

I love your work. I'd vote for you to win this challenge too. =)


Author's Response: Hi there Ellie,

No worries about the review count. I'm not someone who will sit and worry about counting every single review. If you happen to see something that interests you down the road, you can leave a review then. Otherwise, no big deal.

I'm glad that you like this story. Snape is an interesting character for me. On one hand he can be really creepy, but on the other hand I can see that he never really had much of a chance at life. He really did get the short end of the stick.

Thanks for your hypothetical vote for me to win this contest too!


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Review #7, by wolfgirl17Everything About You: Everything About You

25th March 2015:

It's me. I just wanted to tell you again how wonderful this fic is. I love the whole thing, and the unrequited nature until the very end of the fic just has me yearning for more. You're writing is wonderful! I loved it!

xx-Ellie ;)

Author's Response: Hi Ellie!

Thank you so much for stopping by to review this! You so didn't have to do that after the help you gave me with it, but I'm so happy you did :D I'm glad you really liked it, because I put a lot of pressure on myself in writing it because Dramione is such a popular pairing and I hadn't really written them together before. I'm writing Guarded Hearts with them now, but it hasn't gotten to their interactions yet, so this was my first test. Thanks again!


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Review #8, by wolfgirl17Year Five: Loose Lips

25th March 2015:
Hiya Roisin!

Ellie here with your requested review. Finally. Sorry it's taken me so long. have no excuse beyond the fact that I'm a lazy sod. Well, that and the fact that I've been updating my own fics like crazy while the queue has been so short.

Anyway, on to the story.

As always, I love your writing. You just have this way of making everything so realistic and enjoyable to read. I loved the bit about hitting Snape right in the ethics. It was great. You've got this way of writing too that really speaks to the reader, it's occasionally abrupt, but I kind of like that in a fic. I like it when the story I'm reading flows so smoothly and yet every now and then hits me with something unexpected, like an unexpected word for the context that still makes sense but expands the vocabulary.

I was kind of shocked by Wood's behavior in this. It just seems so unexpected from him when not related to Quidditch.

The way you've thrown in the already brimming blood purity really makes this fic more real and makes it hit home better. You give us all a really good look into the world of what was happening while Harry was too young to really know about it yet.

You've created a masterpiece and I enjoy every moment. As always, feel free to re-request with more. I love your work. It's always such a delight to read with all this fantastic imagery and descriptive language and perfect spelling/grammar.

It's a breath of fresh air that always makes me feel more hopeful regarding the continued existence of people who know how to spell and use grammar correctly and don't feel the need to butcher things with text talk.

You're awesome. Everyone knows it. ;)

xx-Ellie (Wolfgirl17)

Author's Response: Oh YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO NICE *flails*

Your comment about 'abrupt'ness is an interesting one. It's not something I've heard before, and it's always cool to see what other people make of stuff like style. Like, I still can't tell if I have one, since I'm the one doing it.

I hope the Wood thing didn't seem OOC for you--I knew I was extrapolating a bit, but I wanted to try something new with his character. The scene is very much from Tristan's perspective and a bit biased towards him, but Oliver isn't all bad. He continues to crop up.

I definitely labored over precision in the writing, and did tons of edits to keep the spelling and grammar and all on point, so I'm really glad you appreciate that!

Thank you so much for the kind word :D


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Review #9, by wolfgirl17Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Apothecary

25th March 2015:
Hiya Kenny!

Wolfgirl17 here with your requested review from the forums. Sorry it's taken me so long to get here. I have no excuse other than that I'm a lazy sod and no one has been pestering me to keep on top of these.

Now, I know you said in your request that you've been having trouble with finding a Beta for this fic, and without seeming harsh, unkind or rude, I do feel the need to say that it shows.

I'm a little unclear about whether or not you've edited this piece before submitting it, but there are a lot of mistakes throughout, including one in the very first sentence:

"In the magic land of Druid there lived Druid clan."

I get the feeling there was meant to be an 'a' between lived and Druid.

You've got a lot of missing words throughout that are upsetting the overall flow of the story and could really do with being edited to address the issue. If you can't find someone willing to take on being a Beta for you for the whole fic, you should try the Quick Beta section on the forums and simply request with each chapter to have folks help you with spelling, grammar, flow and the like.

You've also got a bit of clunkiness in that opening paragraph and throughout that might be upsetting the number of views you're getting. Generally on a site like this, one or two typos throughout are skimmed over, but large sections of missing words, forced/clunky descriptions and interrupted spelling/grammar make people lose interest in a fic pretty quickly.

Saying that, I don't know the stats for your fic and maybe you've got a lot of people reading in spite of these mistakes, but they really do lower the quality of the piece and if you have time to fix them it would make things much nicer and more exciting to read if you were to do so.

I've commented in the past during our swap that I'm unlcear on whether English is your first language or not, but I can't recall if it is or isn't. If it isn't, kudos on trying to learn it and to write a fic in a language that you might not fully grasp yet.

However, the missing words and incorrect tenses throughout do suggest you've simply written this is a different language and then used something like Google Translate to switch it to English. I'm not saying any of this to upset of offend you, and if I have done so it was not my intention, however it does need to be addressed, and as is mentioned in my thread, I pride myself on giving truthful, useful reviews rather than simply complimenting and author and having them think they are wonderful when there is room for improvement.

I see some of that room for improvement here and I hope you are able to address these issues. Thanks for requesting a review from me and I hope I've been helpful.

xx-Ellie (wolfgirl17)

Author's Response: Thank you for leaving review on this, Ellie, even if it was a little bit late (lol), I really appreciate honestly.

I finally, fortunately, got a great beta reader, so I'm still working on this.
At the same time I feel awe, the quality of this site is super! I don't regret that I arrived here, I chose the best HP fan fiction site I've ever encountered. Please stop by again when you have time.

Kenny :)

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Review #10, by wolfgirl17Not Backing Down: Prologue: The Den of Wolves

25th March 2015:
Hey there Rach!

Wolfgirl here with your requested review. Finally. Sorry it took me so long. I have no excuse other than that I'm a lazy sod.

Now, so far you do have an interesting first chapter here. People will definitely want to read it. Don't be discouraged if you've not been getting a lot of feedback on it just yet. Most people using the site lately are about Diversity and Slash fics and all kinds of other stuff.

There aren't so many of us around anymore who appreciate just a good old fashion Next Gen fic in which the characters are all as they are in canon and what not. I'm having the same issue with my new next gen fics. I KNOW they're good cos I've got them published on ff dot net and have over 2k reviews about the fic. But here it's not been getting much traffic at all and even less reviews. Don't sweat it, people here think they've read everything for a pairing that they could possibly read and so skim over them unless they're whatever they happen to be looking for. It's unfortunate, but sadly it's how things are at the minute.

Sometimes the folks on this site are just a little harder to please, methinks.

Anyways, your story is good. It's interesting and different from some of the cliched next-gens we see about, so kudos for doing such a good job of breaking away from those. Putting James in Slytherin is definitely an interesting start.

In regards to canon you're a little off, as James is supposed to be a third year by the time Rose, Albus and Scorpius get to Hogwarts. You've got a lot of OCs in this fic too, so that might be discouraging people a little. Generally we like to see OCs who are funny via the POV of a singular Main Character, or we like to see other canon characters through the POV of the OC. Having so many might become difficult to keep track of.

OCs and Next-gen characters are tougher to write than the Hogwarts Era canon characters we know too, because you get to invent their personalities as the author, and a lot of authors have trouble distancing themselves from the character. Having so many here, with so many different POVs might be deterring folks a bit, so if there are characters in the mix here who aren't needed, cull them with an edit. If they're just going to be minor, they don't need to be in your opening chapter - which should always be about setting the scene for the world you're playing in and letting folks know what's going on.

I've also found in my experience that due to the above mentioned scene setting of first chapters, a lot of readers won't read the fic until there are a few chapters for them to sink their teeth into. The best way to draw in more readers is to update often and give them more to want to read. A lot of people these days won't read a WIP if they can have a completed work because they get the gratification of finishing it in one or two sittings rather than waiting ages between updates if an author is lazy like yours truly.

You're mention of formatting is notable too, as it's still a little off. The trick when posting is to use the 'PASTE AS PLAIN TEXT' button, then format the chapter in the box once it's uploaded. That way the formatting of the site doesn't have to fight the formatting of your writing program. It means you have to re-space your paragraphs again and have to re-do your bold or italic text but it makes for easier reading. The more times you edit a chapter the bigger the spaces get too, so as you edit you need to delete the extra spaces out too.

You've got an interesting beginning to this fic here, and I'm keen to read more. Thanks for being brave enough to contribute to the archives. And feel free to re-request with new chapters as you upload them =)

xx-Ellie (wolfgirl17)

Author's Response: Hi Ellie! Thanks so much for all the feedback!

I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond- I spend quite a bit of time thinking about your review. I checked a bit of websites to search around canon, and although James might be supposed to be two years older than Albus, Rose, and Scorpius, I've decided to keep him as one year older. Thanks for telling me, though- that way I can warn people that it's slightly off-canon!

After reading your advice about the OC's, and debating after a while, I've decided to change one of the OCs to a canon character, so that the number of main characters that are canon and OC are even. The first chapter's the only one that's going to be like this, and afterwards, one chapter will be a character, and sometimes even more in a row! However, all eight are needed, so I'll have to work my way around that.

I'm in the middle of writing the second chapter, too! I just need to finish writing it, which is almost down, and then editing it. I know what you mean, though. I do that quite a lot, too :/

Thank you so much for the advice on formatting! I'll be sure to try that when I add the character into the first character and put in my second chapter :)

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #11, by wolfgirl17Mistletoe Revenge: Chapter One

23rd March 2015:
Cute fic! A little clunky in places with the dramatics of shouting and whatnot all the time, but otherwise a cute and amusing read.

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Review #12, by wolfgirl17Saving Severus Snape : v.

22nd March 2015:
Hey Meg!

Ellie here for our review swap! You know I can never resist a Snape story, so I'm back to review this one for you again.

Now, as you know I absolutely love your writing of this fic, and the entire concept of time-travelling Hermione for the purpose of saving Sev from his bitter end and his unhappy life.

I love the way you've portrayed everything in this chapter, and throughout the entire fic! You really must update soon as I'm going crazy waiting for more. I want to see some more interaction between Hermione and Sev, I'm also really interested in the other characters you've included like Marlene and the other girls. I'm excited to see where you're going to take this next!

Pretty please update soon before I go mad!


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Review #13, by wolfgirl17Harry Potter and the Broomstick Makers: Eye Healer in a Muggle Town

22nd March 2015:

I'm here for our swap!

So first off, I'm a little lost thanks to this being the 5th chapter and I've not read the earlier ones, so rather than discussing plot, which I'm not familiar with, I'll focus more on spelling/grammar, flow, formatting and the like.

You've got a few mistakes throughout. Such as:

"All he could do was just hanging around the spot where they vanished."

Which I suspect was meant to say:

"All he could do was just hang around the spot where they vanished."

Also, you seem to have a lot of missing words and I'm wondering if may English isn't your first language? I only mention it because there are several sentences throughout where you've missed words or seem to have them in the wrong order. I mean, I can still work out what you are intending with each sentence, but they don't flow well because they aren't written in the same way one would say them aloud.

Beyond that, I liked the concept of Harry meeting up with the Dursleys again after the war. It's nice to think that they would eventually consider Harry a good man and not a waste of space and a burden they ought to be embarrassed about.

Thanks for the swap.


Author's Response: Thank you for doing a kind of beta reading, I really appreciate for that. My language is very different from yours so it's hard to compose things. I may often miss words and block flow in consequence. I feel thankful for your pointing them out.

I thought to write about Vernon Dursley's blaming Harry but changed my mind. Harry deserves to have peace relationship between them.

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Review #14, by wolfgirl17Still Into You: Need you now

22nd March 2015:
Hey Aditi!

I'm here for Review Tag, but seriously, how are you ALWAYS this fantastic! I absolutely adore your writing. It's marvelous and wonderful. The tone of this fic wasn't what I expected when I first looked at the banner, and I think you did a really awesome job with the story. I've been struggling over inspiration for my banner for the Banner Challenge.

Good luck for the challenge, you've got a really strong entry here. I'd vote for you =)

I loved the raw pain of this fic, you captured that feeling of heartbreak really well.

xx-Ellie (wolfgirl)

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for the wonderful review. I am glad you liked this. Aw thank you, I'm glad you think I did a good job with this =)

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Review #15, by wolfgirl17Staring: Staring

22nd March 2015:

I'm here from the Puff review thread and let me just say that this fic is positively delightful. I love this depiction of the moment when Lily begins to see that maybe it's not such a bad thing to have James fancying her. The way you describe the entire scene is very realistic, and I especially like that you did so via 2nd person. You did it in such a way that even using 2nd person you managed to make it utterly flawless and not at all awkward, a very rare feat indeed.

Keep up the excellent work! You're writing is absolutely wonderful. I couldn't stop grinning through this whole piece!

xx-Ellie (wolfgirl)

Author's Response: Hi Ellie!

Thank you so much for stopping by! 2nd person is my absolute favorite perspective, I love to play around with it! I'm glad it came out well! Always a risk with 2nd person :)

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Review #16, by wolfgirl17Fiery-Haired Queen: Inseparable

20th March 2015:
Hello hello!

So I saw that you had this new fic up and I simply had to check it out. You've pulled on my heartstrings with this one. You really captured Snape's love for Lily in all it's encompassing forms from the beginning right through to the very end.

I really enjoyed this story, you totally rock!

xx-Ellie (wolfgirl)

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Review #17, by wolfgirl17Princess: Princess

19th March 2015:
Hey Cassie!

Ellie here from the Puff review thread on the forums. You've got really great story on your hands here. The flashbacks are a really interesting way to bridge the gap between the past and present for your fic without getting you bogged down in the details.

I really love the way you've explored the mental effects of being involved in the war. You've exploed PTSD really well.

Seriously cool story!


Author's Response: Hi Ellie!
I'm glad you liked the way I structured this, with the present alternating with the flashbacks/dreams. I love writing flashbacks, because I think they're a great way to give depth to a character without dumping too much information on the reader. I'm really pleased that you thought I explored the PTSD well, too. Thanks for the review!
Cassie :)

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Review #18, by wolfgirl17The Child of my Beloved: The Child of my Beloved

19th March 2015:
Hey Molly!

Wolfgirl here for our review story.

Now, I will admit that when I first opened this I though there was something amiss with the formatting and that you had somehow accidentally caused each paragraph to be posted twice only once in italics and once in regular font.

However, I persevered and realized that was not the case, only to discover what a wonderful story you have on your hands here. I was especially intrigued by the way you transitioned between Snape's POV and Sirius's. It's very fascinating to say the least.

I've never read a fic before that addressed the idea of Sirius loving James as more than a friend, and I think you really captured Snape's longing for Lily in a way that is so realistic you've left me breathless.

I did just notice one little typo at the end in the last two sentences:

"He is Jamesís child, the child of the man I loved. I will watch over him and protect him and I would give my life to save him if became necessary." - I think you forget the "it" at the end, so it would say "I would give my life to save him if IT became necessary."

I love the way you drew the parallels between Sirius and Severus on this one, it really does paint the picture that every character can be more alike to others than we realise.

This is a really great story Molly, and it makes me want to dive into more of your work and to see much more from you in the future. You're a wonderful writer!


Author's Response: Thank you, Ellie!

I'm glad you liked it! I really enjoyed writing this. Sirious being (unhappily) in love with James is in fact my headcanon, but it's a very rare pairing indeed.

Thanks for pointing out that typo, I'm going to edit it right away!


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Review #19, by wolfgirl17Define Insanity: Truce?

19th March 2015:
Hey Nix,

Could't resist reading this one too. I do love a good Scorose fic! I hope you update really soon, and don't sweat the tense issues, I didn't notice any and usually I'm all over those, so you're good.

I can't wait to see where you take this, and thanks so much for review swapping with me. Great fic!


Author's Response: Thanks for continuing to read! I'm sorry there aren't more chapters. As I said in the first review response, I do plan on continuing this eventually.

I'm glad you didn't see any tense issues! I know that used to be a problem for me. I didn't really see any either in my reread, so hopefully that means I've mostly overcome this issue.

Thanks again for the swap!


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Review #20, by wolfgirl17Define Insanity: Tricky Business

19th March 2015:
Hey Nix!

Wolfgirl here for our review swap!

You've got a really intriguing beginning to your fic happening here. I like the mystery of the letter. I also like the idea of her going even though she thinks it's probably going to result in some ill-fate meeting.

All in all this chapter is short and draws the reader in. I want to read more. This may be due to the shortness of the chapter. I'm kind of sitting here going, "but, why isn't she eating? Why is her best friends sneaking around with her boyfriend? What's going on?"

I did find that there was an occasional area of rockiness in the flow of the chapter, but that might be part of the appeal your going for with the type of personality Rose has for this fic. It felt a little like she had a short attention span to me.

Anyway, this fic is really interesting. Interesting enough that I'm going to read on. Keep up the great work. It's really nice to see you publishing some new stories!


Author's Response: Hi! Sorry I had to go back and reread this story because it's been forever since I looked at it.

I'm glad you like the beginning. I did keep the chapters very short, I liked it that way. I wish I could answer some of your other questions, but I honestly don't remember what my full plan was for this because it's been so long. I was just kind of starting out with a summary that was given to me, her not eating and her boyfriend spending more time with her best friend being part of that summary.

I'm sorry it was rocky. I'm not sure I noticed where this happens, or if my idea was for Rose to have a short attention span. I did intend for her to be quite quirky though. Or maybe it's me who has the short attention span, because I definitely do, lol.

But thank you so much for reading and reviewing and offering a swap! I do plan on continuing this finally, later in the year hopefully if I manage to finish my Sirrah novel.


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Review #21, by wolfgirl17Break Up With Him: Break Up With Him

18th March 2015:
Hey Rhaenyra!

Wolfgirl here checking out your entry for the Break the Mold challenge. I totally listened to the song that inspired this as I was reading it and now I can't get it out of my head!

Now, onto the fic!

You've done a great job with this one. You're use of 1st person is really effective and I really enjoyed this fic. I always love a James/Lily fic, so this was really great to read. The song-fic format made it all the more exciting too.

I only got two entries for this challenge, so count yourself among the brave as most people were too chicken to give my challenge a go. It was seriously cool of you.

I especially enjoyed the ending of this fic. I like the way you portrayed the relationship between James and Lily and the way you made Lily a little more serious than we usually see her. It was fluffy and sweet and utterly delightful.

You do have a couple of typos throughout that could use editing if you have the time as they interrupt the flow of the story a little, bit beyond that you've done a fantastic job.

In other news, You're requested fic should begin being posted really soon, with luck. So keep an eye out for it. I'll PM you and Kaitlin with the results and your prizes really soon too. Awesome story.

Keep at it!


Author's Response: Hi Ellie! That song gets stuck in my head too, which is why I chose it for this story. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I will be sure to go over it again and look for typos (I thought I caught them all, darn!). And that's great news about the requested fic, I will definitely keep my eyes peeled.

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Review #22, by wolfgirl17Pitch Black Night: Chapter 1

18th March 2015:
Hey Kaitlin!

Wolfgirl here to check out your entry for my Break the Mold challenge and speaking as someone who has personally read ALL of your stories, I must say I'm seriously impressed.

It took a lot of bravery to even enter the challenge I created, and in actuality I only ended up with 2 entries, so rest assured that you're going to get a place. I've not read the other entry yet, so I can't tell you which of you came first yet but I'll have the results posted ASAP.

Now, onto the fic.

You've done amazingly with this fic Kaitlin. I absolutely adore your descriptions of everything through Sirius, and I liked the way you made Sirius the nervous one in this pairing for a change as ordinarily in Wolfstar fics he is the cocky confident one and Remus is the shyer one.

I especially liked your description of the kissing scene. For someone who has never written a slash pairing before you seriously rocked it. I love that Sirius wondered for a moment if he;d been punched. Such a cool idea and such a powerful description for that kind of kiss.

Your use of 2nd person POV really took this fic to a new level of challenging for you I think. There are parts where it does come across as just a little bit awkward, but that is entirely due to your lack of experience writing this way. It's not an easy feat, especially when writing this kind of fic. Ordinarily in 2nd person we see a lot of the main character writing as though they are a narrator, or a lot where it depicts the main character being narrated by a stalked/watcher. The scene you created didn't work for that type of narration idea though, so the way you've done it is much more exciting and intriguing.

You really broke your mold on this challenge and I'm so proud of you for entering, a lot of people were to chicken to give it a go so kudos on your bravery (your Gryffindor is showing) *teehee*

Absolutely fantastic fic and a wonderful entry. You've outdone yourself! I love it and I hope you update your others works again soon.


Author's Response: Hi Ellie!

You have no idea how excited I am that you are seriously impressed by my story! I really enjoy your writing and in comparison I feel like mine is child's play, so that means a lot to me.

I really had fun writing Wolfstar for the first time and will probably explore them again in the future sometime. Making Sirius somewhat nervous seemed natural to me. Even the most confident person is normally a bit shy or nervous when they make a declaration of love for the first time. The idea of rejection is a scary thing, particularly in this case because it has the potential to make things weird for them since their such good friends.

It's such a relief to hear that the 2nd person perspective worked for the most part! I can get over a few awkward sentences as long as the overall story was good. Before writing this, I did a bit of research on 2nd person POV and found a thread on the forums, but it seemed like most of the commentary on it was pretty negative. It made me a bit skeptical about writing it this way, but in the end I'm pretty happy with how it came out.

Thank you again for such a lovely review! Your praise means a lot to me! And thank you for creating a challenge that really pushed me to do something different than my usual!


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Review #23, by wolfgirl17The Wind Beneath Your Wings: The Wind Beneath Your Wings

17th March 2015:

It's me! I love what you did with this story! I absolutely loved it. If we could vote in the challenges, I would totally vote for you. Brilliant work, you're a genius!


Author's Response: Thanks!!! And thanks for helping me!


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Review #24, by wolfgirl17Crossing the Borderline: Albus: The Confrontations

3rd March 2015:

Wolfgirl here with your requested review.

So now I feel totally bad because I'd already read this one too and must've just forgotten to review. Like a airhead. *attempts to deflate it and gets distracted by something shiny*

Anyways, I love this story. I'm more curious with each new sentence you give us and I simply must have more.

I actually don't mind the choppiness of this chapter. It really keeps it moving along and you have a knack for not getting bogged down in a scene, while still conveying it and it's purpose in the story very clearly. A very nifty skill that I wish I had *attempts to steal your skills and gets distracted by another shiny object*

No but really, you're writing is enthralling. There is just something about it that has me wanting to push that next button again and again until there are no more chapters, and then I want to shamelessly beg for more. You've got this knack for weaving a web of intrigue that I wish I had and that I'm super jealous of. I can't do what you can. I always end up giving away the idea or sticking the characters together before I need them to be together for the continuation of plot (hence having so many incomplete WIPs).

You have a serious gift. Keep it up. I have to have more =)


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Review #25, by wolfgirl17Rose: Unrequited

3rd March 2015:
Hey Aditi,

Wolfgirl here with your requested review.

Wow Aditi! Seriously, I don't say this about a lot of fics, but your's is breathtaking. I loved the unrequited-ness of this one and the way you gave us some closure but not quite enough to leave us with that happy glow.

The plot is good, the descriptions mesmerizing. You probably hear it a lot since you always have so many reviews, but you are a great writer and I enjoy reviewing your work because I know each piece will be a gem among the stones. Something beautiful and eye-catching and lovely to behold.

Keep up the brilliant work!


Author's Response: hey! Thanks a lot for the lovely review. I am glad you liked it! Your comments have made me really happy!

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