Reading Reviews From Member: wolfgirl17
  
258 Reviews Found

Review #1, by wolfgirl17Prisoner of War: Chapter 2

3rd April 2015:
I don't know if you know or if you're even still around, but you're banner link is broken and no longer showing in your summary.

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Review #2, by wolfgirl17Flesh Memory: Pranks and Reveals

3rd April 2015:
So I don't remember if I told you when you originally posted this fic, but I adored this story and stayed up all night reading it. It was absolutely brilliant and a delight to read.

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Review #3, by wolfgirl17Life As We Know It: chapter seventeen

3rd April 2015:
Hey Erica!

What are the chances of getting an update on this fic? I know you're of course super busy right now with NaNo, and that I gave you that plunny for the Wandmakers Apprenticeship, plus those other Plunnies that our other lovely forum-goers gave you, but I would also love to see an update for this one if you've got the time. =)

xx-Ellie

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Review #4, by wolfgirl17Marry Me: The Deal

3rd April 2015:
My Dear Author,

I just wanted to drop by and let you know that I very much enjoy this fic and would love an update is you can at all swing one. I really like this story and would love to see where you're going to take the plot.

xx-Wolfgirl17

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Review #5, by wolfgirl17Beast Within: Gaurdian

3rd April 2015:
This fic is most amusing and I would love to see a new update on it if you have the time. It's very interesting.

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Review #6, by wolfgirl17Overcoming Darkness: The End

3rd April 2015:
So I don't know if I got around to telling you this, but this story was utterly fantastic. I loved every minute of reading it and stayed up all night poring through every chapter, hungry for more with each new update I read. This final wrap-up is lovely and the whole story is a masterpiece.

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Review #7, by wolfgirl17One Night: Un-Hermione-ish

3rd April 2015:
Pretty please update this fic. I really like where you're going with this one and would really love to read more of this fic. I have to beg you here and hope that it implores you to update, as I've reviewed your following two chapters and once a person reviews each chapter while signed in and so once I submit this I won't be able to beg you again.

But seriously, pretty please, when you've got the time, post a new chapter for this fic. I really, really like it and would love to see some more from you. It's a really interesting fic and leaving me hanging this way is cruel.

xx-Wolfgirl17

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Review #8, by wolfgirl17Master of His Own Destiny: A Quaint Little Town

31st March 2015:
Hey Mallory!

Ellie here for our review swap before I have to climb into the void that is Camp NaNo.

You've got a really great and totally under-appreciated fic here. I really enjoyed reading it.

You did have a couple of typos throughout, with a few missing letters, sch as here:
"Have you see wells run dry and fill again with blood?"

But beyond that this story is marvellous. I really like the way you captured Quirrell's personality before he was accosted by Voldemort and the way he was so full of life and hope and intrigue, and it makes me sad to know what befell him in the end.

Thanks so much for swapping with me. This fic was really, really good. I enjoyed it immensely.

xx-Wolfigrl (Ellie)

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Review #9, by wolfgirl17Saving Severus Snape : vii.

31st March 2015:
Hey Meg!

I'm so excited to see an update for this fic and I'm so hungry for more that my tummy is rumbling... perhaps it's real hunger...

Anywho, I loved this chapter. I love the way you're developing the relationship between Amelia and Remus, I seriously can't wait to see their date for Hogsmede.

I was a little bummed not to see James of Sirius except for that brief glimpse in the chapter, but I did like how much Snape there was. I adore the way you've been incorporating him and having him so expressive and yet so secretive, all while she's not even actually speaking to him or interacting with him beyond some looks. I think facial expression and looks from Sev are really important earlier on because he's so closed off yet expressive with them later in life too.

I seriously can't wait for another update and I don't recall if you're doing Nano, but if you are I so hope you're working on this fic for it. I must have more of this fantastic story.

You're so amazing!

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Ah Ellie! What an awesome surprise! ♥

I'm really thrilled to hear that you're truly enjoying this story! :D Uh oh. Go eat! ;)

Aww I'm glad you like Amelia and Remus. I wasn't planning that from the beginning, it just kind of happened along the way, so I'm happy to hear it's paying off. Their date should be cute. :)

I'm sorry about that. :( I love James and Sirius a lot, but I didn't want them to be *too* much of a focus in this, since Hermione is in Ravenclaw and not around them as much. They'll definitely be in this story often enough, but they're not going to be major characters. They'll just be along to cause mischief here and there. ;)

I'm so glad to hear you're liking the glimpses of Snape we're seeing. This is going to be a very slow build with Snape and Hermione, just because Snape is not one to trust easily. But their first actual conversation isn't too far away...

I am doing NaNo, but with a new story. *hides* I'm writing a sequel to one of my one-shots, Bruises. But that doesn't mean I'm forgetting about this, at all. :D

Aww, Ellie thank you!! ♥ ♥

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! It truly was a pleasant surprise. ♥

xoxo Meg


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Review #10, by wolfgirl17Through the Black: Summer Nights

25th March 2015:
Hiya Claire,

Ellie here with your requested Review. Finally. I' so sorry it's taken me so long. I've been so slack and I have no excuse!

Now, onto the review. As always, I loved it.

I think your description of Nettie's reaction was very realistic. If you read my Take the Tumble fic all the way to the end you'll see that I have a far more extreme reaction from my characters.

Anyways, this chapter does a lot more to progress the plot and it's all very exciting. I like that Julianne and Sirius are out in the open and official together now. I liked how sweet Sirius was about it too, very cute when he was saying that it was definitely going to work out.

I can't wait to see where you're going to take this, though I suspect there's going to be some family drama soon. Unless I'm imaging the foreshadowing regarding Julianne's parents, what with her Mum being so tired all the time and her Dad always being so busy with work.

I'm interested to see how her Dad will react when he finds out she's dating Sirius too, I imagine it's going to all very emotional and upsetting. Speaking as someone still dealing with drama from her father over her boyfriend choices, I can say that it's going to be upsetting and awful and frustrating as all get out.

Anyways, pretty please update again soon. I love your work!

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hey, Ellie!

Ok, I'm so glad that it came off as natural, I was freaking out the whole time I was writing that scene and I probably annoyed my friend to death asking her about it :P

Hehe, I really love the whole 'Sirius is a hopeless romantic' kind of thing, just because I see it really fitting into what we know about his character.

Yes, family drama does play a very large part in the rest of the story. Maybe not the exact way that you're imagining, but it's definitely going to be there and it's definitely going to be big :)

Thanks again for taking the time to review this! I always love getting your reviews!

Claire


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Review #11, by wolfgirl17Hermione Granger and the Dead Man's Mark: Chapter One

25th March 2015:
Hiya Hori!

Wolfgirl17 here with your requested review. Finally. I'm sorry it's taken me so long. I have no real excuse other than that I'm a lazy sod. I could say I've been busy with work and being Seeker for the current match on the forums, or crazily updating all my fics and it would be true, but mostly I've just been being a slothenly git.

And Holy Guacamole you write long chapters! I mean, I know in your AoC you said you did but I wasn't expecting it to be quite so long, and the others after this are even longer! You are seriously dedicated. I rarely write a chapter longer than 4-5k.

So first off, your comma placement seems a little off. There are several sections where you've used one unnecessarily. Think of commas as a pause for breath whilst speaking. If you wouldn't take breath midsentence, don't use the comma. If you use it, read it aloud and it sounds silly to take a pause there, delete it.

That being said, I must admit that this story is highly addictive and upon clicking over here I noticed I had alreayd placed it on my list of favorites and on my reading list, though I didn't recall doing so.

You're story is very good, and the preoccupation with magical tattooing is one that intrigues me greatly. You've ensnared me with this first chapter and I admit to wanting very fervently to read on.

Please do continue to request if you'd like in depth reviews that speak to constructive criticism rather than nonsensical babbling. =)

This is so very fascinating!

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hiya! Thanks for taking the time to review. Don't worry about how long it took. Heaven knows I don't do anything quickly, so I won't begrudge to taking a few days. ;)

Yes, the chapters are long as all heck. I say it all the time, but you wouldn't believe the length these get to before I take my editing chainsaw to them. I'm glad you were intrigued, because I'd like to know what you think of the continuing story and I don't want to re-request a review on something you hated. Especially when the chapters get massive later on. O_o

The over-using commas is particularly problematic in my earlier chapters, I agree. I think I've gotten much better at pruning them out of my work recently. Sooner or later I'll have to do a serious round of editing on all the earlier chapters. I have a strange habit of sometimes hitting the comma when I pause in the middle of writing a sentence.

Happy that you liked the idea of magical tattoos! It's honestly been a blast to try and fit the concept within the canon of Harry Potter. Soon I'll be able to start posting the chapters that explore the history of magic tattoos, so that should be fun! ;)

Thanks again for the review!


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Review #12, by wolfgirl17Bunny Slippers: Neville

25th March 2015:
Wolfgirl, back again with more of your winnings

Oh the way you've added to this is so splendiferous! The whole thing is so much more heart-breaking and sad and you've made me sniffly again! You and your emotive-ness!

As always, you have a fantastic chapter on your hands, and a positively wonderful story. I can't wait to read more of your work, so you need to get updating!

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hi Ellie!

It makes me really happy that you like the ending to this story. I worked really hard at and re-wrote it about 5 different times.

Thank you so much for all of your reviews, kind comments, and encouragement! They really make me happy! :D

~Kaitlin


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Review #13, by wolfgirl17Bunny Slippers: Kingsley

25th March 2015:
Me again with more winnings!

Ooh!

Is it me or have you fleshed this out a it more than when I read it?

I loved it! It's marvellous and it really fleshes it out from a one-shot to a short-story. Kudos on writing such a powerful piece.
You're awesome Kaitlin!

The way you've expanded this makes it so much more interesting and exciting and adds that extra dimension to the story that a one-shot lacks.

Fantastic work! I must read more!

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hi again Ellie,

This is absolutely more fleshed out. The first time you read it, it was about 2000 words long. Now its 7,300 words long.

I'm glad the short story set up works better for you. After some suggestions from reviewers and a lot of thought, I really felt like each character should really have their own chapter.

Thanks again for reviewing!

~Kaitlin


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Review #14, by wolfgirl17Bunny Slippers: The Longbottom Family

25th March 2015:
Hiya,

Me again with your winnings. So my last review on Ticking Away Seconds won't make much sense now since I thought this was a one-shot when I beta'd it for you and so didn't notice you'd put it in 3 parts. You'll still be on review short though. If you like we can put it on hold until your next chapter of Rosebuds is published or any other fics your working on are published??

As you know from my reading it before you posted this, I adore this fic. It's very powerful and emotive and so heart-wrenching that it saddens me so much. The Longbottom family have such a sad end that it hurts me to think of this additional son in the mix we never knew about. As if they haven't suffered enough, you go and throw this at them too?

How can you do this to me?

This fic breaks my heart, and knowing what's to come only makes it harder yet irresistible to press that 'Next Chapter' button. Great story!

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hi Ellie,

Yeah it was a bit hard to make the Longbottom story any more tragic than it already was. Neville is one of my favorite characters, so I desperately wish I could've written him something more happy.

I'm sorry that it's making you sad, but at the same time I'd be a bit worried if it didn't. After everything poor Neville goes through, it's hard not to feel for him.

Thanks for reviewing!

~Kaitlin


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Review #15, by wolfgirl17Ticking Away Seconds: Bittersweet Kisses

25th March 2015:
Hiya Kaitlin,

It's me here with your winnings reviews for the Break the Mold Challenge. And we have a problem. After I finish this fic, the only story of yours I won't have reviewed yet is Bunny Slippers, which will be next.

In total, you winnings are supposed to be 6 reviews. You've got 1 for your entry fic, one here and one for Bunny Slippers on the way, but after that I've literally reviewed every single one of your fics, including the chapters of Gather Ye Rosebuds, leaving us with a problem as you'll only technically be getting 3 for the winnnings when you deserve more.

So what should we do about it?

By the way, this fic is marvellous. It's so heartbreaking and sweet and bittersweet all in one and you've left me all sniffly! As always you're writing it lovely and emotive, and I positively adore the way you've portrayed Sev in this fic. He's grown to be a favourite of mine, so to see such a representation is absolutely fantastic.

I love your work. I'd vote for you to win this challenge too. =)

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hi there Ellie,

No worries about the review count. I'm not someone who will sit and worry about counting every single review. If you happen to see something that interests you down the road, you can leave a review then. Otherwise, no big deal.

I'm glad that you like this story. Snape is an interesting character for me. On one hand he can be really creepy, but on the other hand I can see that he never really had much of a chance at life. He really did get the short end of the stick.

Thanks for your hypothetical vote for me to win this contest too!

~Kaitlin


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Review #16, by wolfgirl17Everything About You: Everything About You

25th March 2015:
Hiya,

It's me. I just wanted to tell you again how wonderful this fic is. I love the whole thing, and the unrequited nature until the very end of the fic just has me yearning for more. You're writing is wonderful! I loved it!

xx-Ellie ;)

Author's Response: Hi Ellie!

Thank you so much for stopping by to review this! You so didn't have to do that after the help you gave me with it, but I'm so happy you did :D I'm glad you really liked it, because I put a lot of pressure on myself in writing it because Dramione is such a popular pairing and I hadn't really written them together before. I'm writing Guarded Hearts with them now, but it hasn't gotten to their interactions yet, so this was my first test. Thanks again!

Amanda


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Review #17, by wolfgirl17Year Five: Loose Lips

25th March 2015:
Hiya Roisin!

Ellie here with your requested review. Finally. Sorry it's taken me so long. have no excuse beyond the fact that I'm a lazy sod. Well, that and the fact that I've been updating my own fics like crazy while the queue has been so short.

Anyway, on to the story.

As always, I love your writing. You just have this way of making everything so realistic and enjoyable to read. I loved the bit about hitting Snape right in the ethics. It was great. You've got this way of writing too that really speaks to the reader, it's occasionally abrupt, but I kind of like that in a fic. I like it when the story I'm reading flows so smoothly and yet every now and then hits me with something unexpected, like an unexpected word for the context that still makes sense but expands the vocabulary.

I was kind of shocked by Wood's behavior in this. It just seems so unexpected from him when not related to Quidditch.

The way you've thrown in the already brimming blood purity really makes this fic more real and makes it hit home better. You give us all a really good look into the world of what was happening while Harry was too young to really know about it yet.

You've created a masterpiece and I enjoy every moment. As always, feel free to re-request with more. I love your work. It's always such a delight to read with all this fantastic imagery and descriptive language and perfect spelling/grammar.

It's a breath of fresh air that always makes me feel more hopeful regarding the continued existence of people who know how to spell and use grammar correctly and don't feel the need to butcher things with text talk.

You're awesome. Everyone knows it. ;)

xx-Ellie (Wolfgirl17)

Author's Response: Oh YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO NICE *flails*

Your comment about 'abrupt'ness is an interesting one. It's not something I've heard before, and it's always cool to see what other people make of stuff like style. Like, I still can't tell if I have one, since I'm the one doing it.

I hope the Wood thing didn't seem OOC for you--I knew I was extrapolating a bit, but I wanted to try something new with his character. The scene is very much from Tristan's perspective and a bit biased towards him, but Oliver isn't all bad. He continues to crop up.

I definitely labored over precision in the writing, and did tons of edits to keep the spelling and grammar and all on point, so I'm really glad you appreciate that!

Thank you so much for the kind word :D

xoxo
Roisin



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Review #18, by wolfgirl17Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid: Apothecary

25th March 2015:
Hiya Kenny!

Wolfgirl17 here with your requested review from the forums. Sorry it's taken me so long to get here. I have no excuse other than that I'm a lazy sod and no one has been pestering me to keep on top of these.

Now, I know you said in your request that you've been having trouble with finding a Beta for this fic, and without seeming harsh, unkind or rude, I do feel the need to say that it shows.

I'm a little unclear about whether or not you've edited this piece before submitting it, but there are a lot of mistakes throughout, including one in the very first sentence:

"In the magic land of Druid there lived Druid clan."

I get the feeling there was meant to be an 'a' between lived and Druid.

You've got a lot of missing words throughout that are upsetting the overall flow of the story and could really do with being edited to address the issue. If you can't find someone willing to take on being a Beta for you for the whole fic, you should try the Quick Beta section on the forums and simply request with each chapter to have folks help you with spelling, grammar, flow and the like.

You've also got a bit of clunkiness in that opening paragraph and throughout that might be upsetting the number of views you're getting. Generally on a site like this, one or two typos throughout are skimmed over, but large sections of missing words, forced/clunky descriptions and interrupted spelling/grammar make people lose interest in a fic pretty quickly.

Saying that, I don't know the stats for your fic and maybe you've got a lot of people reading in spite of these mistakes, but they really do lower the quality of the piece and if you have time to fix them it would make things much nicer and more exciting to read if you were to do so.

I've commented in the past during our swap that I'm unlcear on whether English is your first language or not, but I can't recall if it is or isn't. If it isn't, kudos on trying to learn it and to write a fic in a language that you might not fully grasp yet.

However, the missing words and incorrect tenses throughout do suggest you've simply written this is a different language and then used something like Google Translate to switch it to English. I'm not saying any of this to upset of offend you, and if I have done so it was not my intention, however it does need to be addressed, and as is mentioned in my thread, I pride myself on giving truthful, useful reviews rather than simply complimenting and author and having them think they are wonderful when there is room for improvement.

I see some of that room for improvement here and I hope you are able to address these issues. Thanks for requesting a review from me and I hope I've been helpful.

xx-Ellie (wolfgirl17)

Author's Response: Thank you for leaving review on this, Ellie, even if it was a little bit late (lol), I really appreciate honestly.

I finally, fortunately, got a great beta reader, so I'm still working on this.
At the same time I feel awe, the quality of this site is super! I don't regret that I arrived here, I chose the best HP fan fiction site I've ever encountered. Please stop by again when you have time.

Kenny :)


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Review #19, by wolfgirl17Not Backing Down: Prologue: The Den of Wolves

25th March 2015:
Hey there Rach!

Wolfgirl here with your requested review. Finally. Sorry it took me so long. I have no excuse other than that I'm a lazy sod.

Now, so far you do have an interesting first chapter here. People will definitely want to read it. Don't be discouraged if you've not been getting a lot of feedback on it just yet. Most people using the site lately are about Diversity and Slash fics and all kinds of other stuff.

There aren't so many of us around anymore who appreciate just a good old fashion Next Gen fic in which the characters are all as they are in canon and what not. I'm having the same issue with my new next gen fics. I KNOW they're good cos I've got them published on ff dot net and have over 2k reviews about the fic. But here it's not been getting much traffic at all and even less reviews. Don't sweat it, people here think they've read everything for a pairing that they could possibly read and so skim over them unless they're whatever they happen to be looking for. It's unfortunate, but sadly it's how things are at the minute.

Sometimes the folks on this site are just a little harder to please, methinks.

Anyways, your story is good. It's interesting and different from some of the cliched next-gens we see about, so kudos for doing such a good job of breaking away from those. Putting James in Slytherin is definitely an interesting start.

In regards to canon you're a little off, as James is supposed to be a third year by the time Rose, Albus and Scorpius get to Hogwarts. You've got a lot of OCs in this fic too, so that might be discouraging people a little. Generally we like to see OCs who are funny via the POV of a singular Main Character, or we like to see other canon characters through the POV of the OC. Having so many might become difficult to keep track of.

OCs and Next-gen characters are tougher to write than the Hogwarts Era canon characters we know too, because you get to invent their personalities as the author, and a lot of authors have trouble distancing themselves from the character. Having so many here, with so many different POVs might be deterring folks a bit, so if there are characters in the mix here who aren't needed, cull them with an edit. If they're just going to be minor, they don't need to be in your opening chapter - which should always be about setting the scene for the world you're playing in and letting folks know what's going on.

I've also found in my experience that due to the above mentioned scene setting of first chapters, a lot of readers won't read the fic until there are a few chapters for them to sink their teeth into. The best way to draw in more readers is to update often and give them more to want to read. A lot of people these days won't read a WIP if they can have a completed work because they get the gratification of finishing it in one or two sittings rather than waiting ages between updates if an author is lazy like yours truly.

You're mention of formatting is notable too, as it's still a little off. The trick when posting is to use the 'PASTE AS PLAIN TEXT' button, then format the chapter in the box once it's uploaded. That way the formatting of the site doesn't have to fight the formatting of your writing program. It means you have to re-space your paragraphs again and have to re-do your bold or italic text but it makes for easier reading. The more times you edit a chapter the bigger the spaces get too, so as you edit you need to delete the extra spaces out too.

You've got an interesting beginning to this fic here, and I'm keen to read more. Thanks for being brave enough to contribute to the archives. And feel free to re-request with new chapters as you upload them =)

xx-Ellie (wolfgirl17)

Author's Response: Hi Ellie! Thanks so much for all the feedback!

I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond- I spend quite a bit of time thinking about your review. I checked a bit of websites to search around canon, and although James might be supposed to be two years older than Albus, Rose, and Scorpius, I've decided to keep him as one year older. Thanks for telling me, though- that way I can warn people that it's slightly off-canon!

After reading your advice about the OC's, and debating after a while, I've decided to change one of the OCs to a canon character, so that the number of main characters that are canon and OC are even. The first chapter's the only one that's going to be like this, and afterwards, one chapter will be a character, and sometimes even more in a row! However, all eight are needed, so I'll have to work my way around that.

I'm in the middle of writing the second chapter, too! I just need to finish writing it, which is almost down, and then editing it. I know what you mean, though. I do that quite a lot, too :/

Thank you so much for the advice on formatting! I'll be sure to try that when I add the character into the first character and put in my second chapter :)

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #20, by wolfgirl17Mistletoe Revenge: Chapter One

23rd March 2015:
Cute fic! A little clunky in places with the dramatics of shouting and whatnot all the time, but otherwise a cute and amusing read.

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Review #21, by wolfgirl17Saving Severus Snape : v.

22nd March 2015:
Hey Meg!

Ellie here for our review swap! You know I can never resist a Snape story, so I'm back to review this one for you again.

Now, as you know I absolutely love your writing of this fic, and the entire concept of time-travelling Hermione for the purpose of saving Sev from his bitter end and his unhappy life.

I love the way you've portrayed everything in this chapter, and throughout the entire fic! You really must update soon as I'm going crazy waiting for more. I want to see some more interaction between Hermione and Sev, I'm also really interested in the other characters you've included like Marlene and the other girls. I'm excited to see where you're going to take this next!

Pretty please update soon before I go mad!

xx-Ellie

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Review #22, by wolfgirl17Harry Potter and the Broomstick Makers: Eye Healer in a Muggle Town

22nd March 2015:
Hello!

I'm here for our swap!

So first off, I'm a little lost thanks to this being the 5th chapter and I've not read the earlier ones, so rather than discussing plot, which I'm not familiar with, I'll focus more on spelling/grammar, flow, formatting and the like.

You've got a few mistakes throughout. Such as:

"All he could do was just hanging around the spot where they vanished."

Which I suspect was meant to say:

"All he could do was just hang around the spot where they vanished."

Also, you seem to have a lot of missing words and I'm wondering if may English isn't your first language? I only mention it because there are several sentences throughout where you've missed words or seem to have them in the wrong order. I mean, I can still work out what you are intending with each sentence, but they don't flow well because they aren't written in the same way one would say them aloud.

Beyond that, I liked the concept of Harry meeting up with the Dursleys again after the war. It's nice to think that they would eventually consider Harry a good man and not a waste of space and a burden they ought to be embarrassed about.

Thanks for the swap.

xx-Wolfgirl

Author's Response: Thank you for doing a kind of beta reading, I really appreciate for that. My language is very different from yours so it's hard to compose things. I may often miss words and block flow in consequence. I feel thankful for your pointing them out.

I thought to write about Vernon Dursley's blaming Harry but changed my mind. Harry deserves to have peace relationship between them.


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Review #23, by wolfgirl17Still Into You: Need you now

22nd March 2015:
Hey Aditi!

I'm here for Review Tag, but seriously, how are you ALWAYS this fantastic! I absolutely adore your writing. It's marvelous and wonderful. The tone of this fic wasn't what I expected when I first looked at the banner, and I think you did a really awesome job with the story. I've been struggling over inspiration for my banner for the Banner Challenge.

Good luck for the challenge, you've got a really strong entry here. I'd vote for you =)

I loved the raw pain of this fic, you captured that feeling of heartbreak really well.

xx-Ellie (wolfgirl)

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for the wonderful review. I am glad you liked this. Aw thank you, I'm glad you think I did a good job with this =)

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Review #24, by wolfgirl17Staring: Staring

22nd March 2015:
Hello!

I'm here from the Puff review thread and let me just say that this fic is positively delightful. I love this depiction of the moment when Lily begins to see that maybe it's not such a bad thing to have James fancying her. The way you describe the entire scene is very realistic, and I especially like that you did so via 2nd person. You did it in such a way that even using 2nd person you managed to make it utterly flawless and not at all awkward, a very rare feat indeed.

Keep up the excellent work! You're writing is absolutely wonderful. I couldn't stop grinning through this whole piece!

xx-Ellie (wolfgirl)

Author's Response: Hi Ellie!

Thank you so much for stopping by! 2nd person is my absolute favorite perspective, I love to play around with it! I'm glad it came out well! Always a risk with 2nd person :)



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Review #25, by wolfgirl17Fiery-Haired Queen: Inseparable

20th March 2015:
Hello hello!

So I saw that you had this new fic up and I simply had to check it out. You've pulled on my heartstrings with this one. You really captured Snape's love for Lily in all it's encompassing forms from the beginning right through to the very end.

I really enjoyed this story, you totally rock!

xx-Ellie (wolfgirl)

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