Reading Reviews From Member: navyfail
  
175 Reviews Found

Review #1, by navyfailHere we go again: The list returns

24th February 2015:
Hi!

I usually don't read Dominique-centered stories but I was interested in how you characterized her based on your summary. This story is super funny and I love you built up all your characters. When reading the first chapter, I thought the Camelot game was a great insight to their childhood but I never thought it would such a big part of the story. It helps explain the personalities of most of the Wotters and how not everyone wants to be stuck with the characteristics they got assigned when they were younger.

I love Dom and I love Lysander!! I love how sarcastic and witty Dom is but, at the same time, she is sometimes self-absorbed. Her selflessness when it comes to her cousins is really admirable. Her relationship with James is so sweet and her conversations with Scorpius make me roll on the ground laughing. And then there is Lysander... he's sort of perfect. He's so patient with Dom and he has a carefree nature that matches perfectly with her. I think I've become a big Dom/Lysander shipper because of this story!

Lucy is also a favorite! She's so insightful for someone so young and I love how she's always rational. I really liked the part where she tells Dom that she's a disturber and that Lysander is a smoother-outer and how James and Lily are both kites. Also the frisson thing was too good. Fred especially when he kept telling Lucy that is that what the bad man told you. I actually stopped by and read Be Reasonable (which I still need to review, hopefully I'll get to it) and it's really good.

I can relate to Dom crying in this chapter since I would have too if I found out I may have to cut off all my hair. Also Lysander's protectiveness of her is adorable!

Anyway, lovely story! The characterization, plot and everything is just perfect. Can't wait for the next chapter. :)

~Sama

P.S. I think I got to leave the 200th review so yay!

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Review #2, by navyfailFor Her Freedom: Answers

24th February 2015:
Hello. :)

I quite love the plot of this story, it's interesting and can go anywhere. I would be scared out of my mind if I was Bailee but I'm glad nothing harmful has happened to her yet. Lucius Malfoy is definitely a character. He has a scary vibe going on and if I was Bailee, I would try my best not to be in his way. I like your Draco. He isn't perfect, I mean he does have a temper, but he's not cruel. He let her sleep on his bed and even cooked breakfast for her! And they actually have a nice conversation in this chapter so yay. Maybe they'll become friends, though it may take Bailee some time to warm up to him since he's the one who's keeping her under house arrest.

Great chapter, great story! Can't wait to read more. :)

~Sama

P.S. Is Draco a Legilimens? It seems like he can read her mind.

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Review #3, by navyfailUgly Eloise: Chapter 1

24th February 2015:
Hello! I wasn't sure if you had a particular story you wanted me to review so I picked the first one that caught my eye.

Eloise is definitely a sweet and shy person. I think that is what makes her likable and very relatable. I can definitely connect to her in some ways like trying to avoid attention.

I''m really glad Justin came and stopped Pansy from bullying Eloise any further just because if Pansy kept going on with her mean comments I would have grown to absolutely hate her. Right now, I don't agree with what Pansy is doing but I also feel sorry for her since that's how she deals with hurt.

Ah, Eloise is a chess champion! And Justin and her even play a couple games. I'm actually quite horrible at chess but I think it is a unique quality you gave her.

When she told Justin how she saw herself I felt quite sad. I hate that she only sees the bad in herself but I think everyone tends to do that. Also, just like her, I would have thought that it was a joke when Justin told her he liked her. But it wasn't a joke, and they can live happily ever after, yay!

My favorite scene was hands down the last one. It's a hopeful ending with her finally seeing herself in the mirror and thinking 'hey, I'm not that bad' which, in my opinion, everyone has to realize.

Anyway, great story! I had a lovely time reading it. The storyline was sweet and the characters are well developed even with so few words! I'm glad we got to do this review swap.

~Sama

Author's Response: Hi Navyfail,

This story was my most recent, so this works perfectly.

I'm so glad that you picked up on the fact that Pansy is wounded as well and using Eloise to vent that. Everyone always assumes that Pansy is just mean for the sake of being mean, but I always like to give her a bit of motive for her actions.

Eloise is indeed a chess champion! I am horrible at chess, so I quite admire her skill. I thought that would be a natural way for her to warm up to Justin, since she's actually proud of her ability.

Getting down to Eloise's perception of herself was the most important part of the story in my mind. I really wanted to drive home her insecurities and how they were affected by the bullying. In the end, I wanted to give her some hope because loving ones self is so important.

Thanks for swapping with me!

~Kaitlin


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Review #4, by navyfailKiss My Lips and Swear to Die: Unwilling Damsels

16th February 2015:
It's only been one chapter but I have to say I like this story, I like it a lot.

I love Alyssa already. She's independent and strong-willed. And Freddie is adorable, I think. He's a happy go lucky guy and he's a breath of fresh air from all the broody, smirk-y (let's pretend that is a word) main male characters.

I'm really curious about James. Why does he always carry a camera? Or is he just really interested in Muggle things? I don't really have an opinion on Liv yet but that'll probably change as I get to know her better. :)

I really like the fairytale references in this chapter. I've read a few stories that mention Muggle fairytales but I really like how you integrated it in, especially in the beginning. I laughed at the Cinderella's slipper comment. :D

Anyway, terrific first chapter. I can't wait for the next one whenever you upload it!

Also, I agee with Liv: I think the kisses thing is kind of cute.

~Sama

Author's Response: Hiya! (Is it me or do I seem incredibly perky, I'm sorry, I'n very awkward at starting these.)

I'm actually quite fond of my characters too and have no shame in admitting that. I mean, I do love the brooding smirkers, but Freddie is just too cute if a little...ignorant? Inappropriate? Honestly, I don't know how Alyssa can resist the charm. Yes, she is incredibly independent which I plan to explore in later chapters. It's a quality I like, but also has its cons so it should be interesting to see how that goes.

We will find out the thrilling tale behind James' camera later on in the story, but it won't be for a while yet. I actually really like the reason behind it, it's just too CUTE. I hope you will be satisfied with it.

Thank you for reading, reviewing AND favouriting. You are honestly a star and I'm really glad that you enjoyed the first chapter :)

Dirigible_Plums xo

P.S: the kisses thing is kinda cute, I'm glad we're on the same page haha :D


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Review #5, by navyfailAll Things Rose: Embarrassed Again

14th February 2015:
Why do I have a feeling that James and Fred's prank this year will be on Rose? We'll just have to wait and see I guess. ;)

Ahh, Lily's dare... I thought Dominique would let her off the hook but Lily ended up doing it. And James totally freaked. His reaction to Lily with a boy is really different from Rose being with a boy... it's amusing really. Almost all the cousins know that Scorpius gave Rose the hickey now, right? Rose must have been relieved when her girl cousins didn't force the story out of her but I'm sure they'll find out soon enough. Also I'm guessing the figure in the dark Rose sees is Scorpius?

Anyway, great chapter! And I can't wait for the next chapter. Oh, and I'm sorry for the formatting of some of the reviews I left. I just noticed now and I have to idea how it got like that. So sorry about that.

Author's Response: Haha it's because you have great intuition. ;) Or maybe I'm just predictable. xD Either way, look forward to a Rose freak out!

We get to see the overprotectiveness come out in James here. :) Lily is quite brave for going through with her dare. xD Yes, the figure in the dark is Scorpius. ^.^

I will try and update soon! Don't worry about the formatting. There were quite a few people having trouble with it (myself included) so hopefully it got fixed/gets fixed soon!

Thank you for stopping by and reviewing! ^.^

~Marissa


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Review #6, by navyfailAll Things Rose: Oh Hell No

14th February 2015:
Since James and Fred are Rose's cousins I expected them to get a little protective... but they find it amusing. For some reason I couldn't stop smiling when James said something. Him saying he wanted to see the hickey and then saying they were definitely related when he found out she got drunk is priceless really. And Albus freaking out over what happened and actually thinking they were in a relationship made things quite interesting. Louis definitely sticks out from the rest of them. I'm curious about his character and I hope we get to see him in future chapters. His reaction of almost fainting contrasts James and Fred's so yeah... he's interesting.

And I love how Rose called Scorpius out this chapter and how she got all up in his face for calling it a spark of the moment. Yay for girl power!

10/10

Author's Response: We see a lot of overprotective cousins and I believe that they would be to an extent, but they're also a bit immature and would like to have fun at Rose's expense. Besides, Albus was there for the overprotective bit and I didn't want to overdo it haha.

I'm really glad that James brought a smile to your face. He's really funny and I think he's adorable :) With Albus, it's his two best friends and I think he was feeling a little left out that they wouldn't trust him with that information.

I will definitely bring Louis in, in the future! I'm glad you like his character. He's going to be fun to write about as well. Yeah, Scorpius deserved Rose calling him out. He was being kind of a jerk about it and I think it's important for Rose to be able to stand up for herself. *nodnod* Yay girl power, indeed! xD

~Marissa


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Review #7, by navyfailAll Things Rose: Christmas Fiasco

14th February 2015:
Rose can't cook? I can't cook either haha. The
stove and me don't really get along. :P

I think I like James. He's the cousin that
everyone gets annoyed with at times but he's so
lovable with his humor. Though I'm really
curious as to why Scorpius didn't say anything
when James was trying to analyze them.

And Rose's slip up is going to blow up next
chapter I'm guessing. I mean with Scorpius
chuckling at her all the time I get how she
accidentally said that.

Lovely chapter. ^_^

Author's Response: James is easily one of my favourite characters. He's the comedic relief a lot of the time. He's definitely got his heart in the right place even if he's annoying sometimes.

Yeah, it must be hard to keep secrets in. I always have a hard time, especially when someone is basically daring me to spill it or mocking me. That's not something I can handle very well and I thought it would be something others could relate to as well. :)

Thanks you for all your lovely reviews; they're very very kind!

~Marissa


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Review #8, by navyfailAll Things Rose: Truths Revealed

14th February 2015:
And Rose gets caught. I actually like how she can't lie to her parents. For me that's relatable because I can't either. And I totally understand trying to find loopholes in the question. I do that all the time too. Hugo's characterization is different than in most stories I've read. Reading his dialogue made me laugh because I can just picture a scrawny thirteen-year old with pants hanging low and everything. I really do hope he gets his act together though. He seems like a good kid and that path doesn't seem the best for him.

And Rose has a hickey... I have a feeling someone else is going to see it soon.

On to the next chapter...

Author's Response: I figured she couldn't get away so easily... not this time haha. I mean, eventually she had to have been caught right and why not make the night just worse? :P Yeah, it's a pretty reasonable quality. I can't lie to my parents either and that's mostly because my mom would pretty much know right away if I do. I'm glad that Rose is a relatable character because that's really important to me!

I really wanted to take a different take on Hugo. He seems to be the character that's always kind of pushed to the sidelines but I'm trying to make him different so that he stands out. With Ron and Hermione being such important people, I wanted to show that every family can have a kid that goes down the wrong path no matter who the parents are and they can't always be blamed.

I do plan on straightening him out though! You also have very good insight haha. ;)

Thanks for the review!

~Marissa


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Review #9, by navyfailAll Things Rose: The Talk

14th February 2015:
Aw, Scorpius returned her clothes. How sweet! I mean Rose doesn't seem to think so but I definitely do.

And Rose finds out about what happened. If I was Rose I would be embarrassed too but then... Scorpius technically just let it happen so... it isn't entirely her fault.

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Hello!

Yes, I thought it was pretty sweet of him too. He does have his moments haha. I know that Rose is pretty closed-minded about him right now but I wanted to show that he's not all bad.

It definitely isn't her fault and I plan for her to realize that eventually. She wasn't the only one who took part that's for sure!

I'm glad you liked the chapter. :)

~Marissa


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Review #10, by navyfailAll Things Rose: Unwanted Mornings

14th February 2015:
Hi! Here to review. :)

I'll be honest I found your story on the
Recently Added list and only clicked on it
because it was Scorose. Is that bad thing? :P

Anyway, I'm glad I did because I really like
this story and I love how you characterized
Rose! She's reasonable but makes mistakes. You
can tell she's smart but she's not absolutely
obsessed with school. I mean... let's me honest
exactly how many people actually like school
lol.

I really liked her comment about the color
green and how she thinks it looks like poop.
Green is actually my favorite color but
sometimes it does look like bad poop haha.

I also like how natural the conversation is
between Rose and Scorpius. They're funny and
cute and annoy each other but that's okay. I'm
sure they'll work it out. I do feel bad for
Rose though. She has no idea what happened but
I'm sure she'll find out soon enough.

"It was an orange colour because of my love for
them. They're a losing team but my dad set me
up for failure from a young age." I was a bit
confused on this part. By them does she mean
Aunt Ginny and Harry because that's what the
sentence before was about. Maybe I'm just
confused.

Anyway, great first chapter! You already have
an interesting plot in the making so terrific
job!

Author's Response: Hi!

Haha I love ScoRose so that's not a bad thing at all! :P I totally understand where you were coming from with that.

I'm glad you liked Rose and think that I did a good job with her characterization. I recently updated the first 4 chapters and am working on chapters 5 and 6! I really like the colour green too but I figured I'd throw a different angle at it because someone once said that to me about green. xD

Oh sorry, I meant the Crudely Canons ... I guess I must have taken that part out when I was editing, whoops! Thanks for catching that mistake. I'll go back and fix it. Your review was really sweet so thank you for taking the time to write it. :)

Cheers.

~Marissa


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Review #11, by navyfailKill Your Darlings: Irresistible

27th January 2015:
OMG, THEY ARE MARRIED. I AM CRYING SO HARD ON THE INSIDE RIGHT NOW, NO JOKE.

And she asked him and everything. That's so sweet! And I love love love the ending.

Talking to her at the beginning of seventh year not being the result of a bet just made me smile harder. And how she has her doubts in the end and how he tells her they'll be fine is perfect for them I think.

I still can't believe it is the end of this story though. I remember coming across it when it was only three chapters and I still love it as much as I did then.

You are an amazing writer and I'm going to go pop by your author's page to read your other story.

100/10
~Sama

Author's Response: YAYYY. It made me so happy to find your review here. I remember opening your reviews when I first started out and how much they encouraged me to keep going. THANK YOU.

Teehee, and yes, I've wanted Andromeda to be the one to ask for a while now. I think it was only fitting.

Thank you so much for taking the time to stick with Tedromeda's story--and for all the lovely reviews along the way. I so appreciate it!


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Review #12, by navyfailTeacher's Pet: The Three Broomsticks

15th January 2015:
Rose is really funny in this chapter with her rambling caused by Wood. ^_^ Oh and we get to see Lily. She's very smart and observant too. She found out about the date really quick. I think I like Eric. He's nice and sort of perfect for Avery in a way. And it's cute to see how nervous he got around her.

I'm totally hooked with your story! Please update soon! I can't wait to read what happens next. :D

~Sama

Author's Response: The next chapter is in the queue! Thank you so much for taking the time to review every chapter! It was super helpful and gave me some confirmation I should stick with this story.

I really appreciate it :)


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Review #13, by navyfailTeacher's Pet: One Day

15th January 2015:
“Aves, it’s a year. A year long difference. I can wait. I just need to know that I have a chance, that you’ll consider me. I like you. You know I do, maybe you know I always have…” This made me go aw. Not the short sudden aw but the long one that draws on forever because you find something so immensely adorable. Even though it's nice that Al will wait for her, it's not very realistic and I'm kind of surprised he thinks he even has a chance since he annoys her to no end. Poor Albus and actually Poor Avery for having to deal with such a sensitive, awkward situation.

He even remembers that she quit divination, how sweet but not sweet enough for me to ship Al/Avery. :P

And she finally tells Mcgonigall... it was bound to happen some time, no? I find it amusing that Mcgonagall asked her if she reciprocates these feelings. It's just that it is Mcgonagall, you know? She usually doesn't talk about feelings and always seems like a no-nonsense type of person. And we hear from Eric again, yay!

~Sama

Author's Response: I definitely think it was hard for Avery to tell McGonagall. She does have some sort of feeling towards Albus. He looks like James, his father, people Avery loves.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #14, by navyfailTeacher's Pet: A Very Long While

15th January 2015:
The scene where Avery is in James' flat and calls Golightly her boyfriend when he is standing right behind is perfect! And James laughing at her and Golightly's reaction is perfect! And I'm now very curious on exactly how long Albus has been into Avery.

Now onto the next chapter...
~Sama

Author's Response: Its probably my favourite scene and its important to the story. Eric is a good guy, despite laughing at her in this situation.

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Review #15, by navyfailTeacher's Pet: You're a Professor Now Pt. II

15th January 2015:
Wood is actually really cute haha. I like that he keeps talking even when Avery wants him to be quiet and how honest he is and his conversation with Avery is interesting.

"Interesting,” He started, “Never took you for the jealous type." Aww Albus, why'd you have to say that? Now she will hate you even more. I kind of feel like this line also shows how immature he actually is too. But I still like Al! He isn't perfect and mucks everything up a lot but he means no harm (at least I think he doesn't).

I don't think Al picked the right moment to show his feelings for her. He's sweet and all but I can see how awkward this makes Avery but I love how she makes the best of the situation!

I noticed this, I'm guessing you just missed it when writing or something:
" one I did mumbled, 'Gryffindor.'"

Awesome chapter! :D

~Sama

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing that out!

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter :)


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Review #16, by navyfailTeacher's Pet: You're A Professor Now

15th January 2015:
Oh, we get to meet another Potter/Weasley in this chapter! Yay.

McGonigall made Jonathan Head Boy? O.o Well that was sort of a shock but who knows may he is another James Potter (the first) that'll clean up his act. :) Avery's obliviousness to what happens in the seventh floor is kind of funny and cute. It makes her seem innocent in a way, if that makes any sense at all. I think Wood is starting to grow on me. He's kind of like a bunny, except he's not fluffy or that adorable... okay so maybe he isn't a bunny but he actually seems really sweet.

Great chapter as usual!

~Sama

P.S. Does Rose like Jonathan? It seems like she does but then maybe I misinterpreted the blushing and running off.

Author's Response: These things are answered in a later chapter :) You'll have to wait and see.

Avery has got to be one of the most clueless and naive characters I have ever written, especially since she is such a smart girl.

Wood is okay, I'm still undecided on him.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #17, by navyfailTeacher's Pet: Let's Be Friends!?

15th January 2015:
"'So do your teachers, Mr. Potter,' I respond coldly, 'Except they control your grades.' " Favorite part in this chapter! Score for Avery! And we get to see Nevile in this chapter! I like how you mention how their relationship wasn't always that solid but that they're good now. Background info is always great.She notices Al and said that his laugh is attractive... is this a small step toward her becoming friends with Albus? ;)

Lovely chapter once again!

~Sama

Author's Response: Avery's pretty smart for a girl who doesn't like to read.

I think Avery wants to like Al, but she can't bring herself to forgive him. Its unfortunate.

Thanks for the review! They are always appreciated.


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Review #18, by navyfailTeacher's Pet: Play

15th January 2015:
Jameeesss!! Can you tell that James Sirius Potter is one of my favorite next gen characters? :P I like Avery and James' friendship a lot. You can just tell how close they are by listening to their conversation. It's pretty adorable that Avery's Mum and Ginny thought, or maybe still think, they're going to get married! I mean I know they probably won't since they don't seem to have those feelings for each other but mums will be mums. I totally understand Avery's fascination with the pictures instead of the actual writing. If there was an attractive guy's picture on a newspaper I would probably stare at him instead of reading the words underneath lol. :P I really like how Harry calls Avery shorty. It gives him a more lighthearted and humorous personality which is a nice change from the serious personalities he gets which is mainly due to the seventh Harry Potter books being so dark.

Anyway, great second chapter! :D

~Sama

Author's Response: James is my favourite character in this story. He is just an overall good guy and although he can be overprotective, he really cares for Avery. James and Avery were made to be friends, although it never made the chapter, I have this idea of a backstory where they kissed when they were fourteen and were so grossed out about it that they didn't talk to each other for days before finally they put in behind them and decided they were meant to be friends.



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Review #19, by navyfailTeacher's Pet: My Seventh Years

15th January 2015:
Hello!
I actually came across your story when going through the recently added list and I saw your banner and was like 'hey, this looks familiar.' It turns out I had read this story a long time ago and decided to read it again and I'm glad I did.I really like the plot of this story. It's really cute, new and funny. Albus is kind of a jerk but it's sweet that he's still stuck on the if-you-like-a-girl-pull-on-her-ponytails thing little kids do. And I love Avery! She's witty when she needs to be and nice but also can get annoyed (with Al mostly). She's the perfect OC!

Fabulous first chapter!!!

~Sama

Author's Response: I have just come back after a long hiatus with a ton of inspiration. I have up to chapter 11 written, so my posting of those chapters should be fairly frequent. Hopefully my inspiration stays with me, but reviews always help.

I'm so glad you love Avery, and yeah, Al is a jerk, but Avery has some issues she's got to work out too.

Thanks again for taking the time to review!


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Review #20, by navyfailStuck: kidnapped.

11th January 2015:
Hello!
I just came across your story last night and the summary was interesting so... here I am! I was going to write a review last night but I was on my phone and it is so hard to write reviews on your phone... but anyway, back to the story.

I'll be honest I usually don't read AUs because most of them are crossovers but when I saw it was a muggle AU with the mafia and the marauders I was like 'I have to read this.'

Aw, poor Lily having to sit through a dinner with Sev's parents. They don't seem very welcoming and warm people. And hair in her food? I hate when hair is in my food, it makes me lose my appetite so I totally understand her pain. And it's even more awkward that she knows he wants to marry her in the future.

Oh, I love how you included Rosmerta! I didn't expect her to be here but yay, even if it is for a short while.

I'm a bit confused on why the men in black would want to rob a café instead of a bank or something but then... who says robbers make much sense?

I also like how you introduced the Marauders with James commenting on her hair and it's cute that James gets a tad jealous of Sirius.

Overall, great introductory chapter! I love the idea and plot of your story. I can't wait to find out how the Marauders got into this situation with the men in black. Great work and update soon!!

~Sama

Author's Response: aw, firstly, thank you so much for reviewing! (:

aha yes poor lily, she had to sit through their questions and unwelcoming behaviour. lol yes, i know, sev's thinking far ahead.

actually, now that you mention it and im glad you asked the question, why were they robbing a cafe? it seems pretty off, but not wanting to spoil, there's a backstory to this too. i guess you'll have to read and find out :P

i know, aw, isn't james just a cutie?

im so happy you like the plot, i was pretty nervous about the idea lol. i'll try my best to update soon! Thank you, again (:


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Review #21, by navyfailKill Your Darlings: Dissonance & Resolve

9th January 2015:
About a week ago I sat down and stayed up late to catch up on the last 20 or so chapters of this story... it was definitely worth it!

Gah, I love this story and you've made me a hardcore Ted/Andromeda shipper. They both have their flaws but they are perfect for each other. You can feel how much they love and care for each other in your words. Their story just sticks to you and makes you think of it over and over. Like I kept thinking 'they made it. they finally made it.'

And I love how the dreams make so much more sense now with the blond bond and everything and when Ted tells her about his inappropriate dreams I just kept smiling at how embarrassed he was.

I got scared at the end because it seemed like it was the end of the story but then you said there are a few more chapters so yay!

I have to say that your writing is very impressive and you are very talented! It's so easy to get hooked with this story. And your Ted Tonks is definitely my man crush and I will forever and ever picture his as Sam Claflin and Andromeda as Crystal Reed because of this story.

Spectacular job so far! And I'll definitely keep an eye out if you post any other stories!

~Sama

Author's Response: I am grinning from ear to ear. Thank you for SUCH a sweet review. It always makes me happy to hear that KYD has inspired a binge read. Teehee.

YAY. Another hardcore Tedromeda shipper on board! Whoo-whoo! Haha, and I do hope the dreams make sense now. Sometimes I found myself panicking, wondering how I was going to make all the sprawling edges of this story meet. But I HOPE I made the most important ones meet at least. :)

Oops, I kind of lied? There is another chapter, but only one left! I thought it would take me longer to wrap up, but I realized the story I needed to tell here was nearly done and the best place to write up some remaining vignettes would be in a new sequel-esque conclusion. Here's hoping it pans out a-okay!

Thanks for the kind words about the writing! And bahaha, I think I will always picture the two as Sam and Crystal, too. Once it gets lodged in your brain, it just doesn't leave. :)

Thanks so much for the review--and for sticking with this story for so long! You rock.


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Review #22, by navyfailGame Over: Two

15th August 2014:
So he was trying to steal a Basilisk Tooth and Matt is the woman's partner. Interesting...

Author's Response: Yes, that's about it. Things didn't turn out to be exactly as they seemed. I hope you keep reading.

Thanks for the review!

Pix


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Review #23, by navyfailGame Over: One

15th August 2014:
Hi! Congrats on getting Story of the Week back in May. I'm going back and reviewing all the stories and I thought I would stop by yours.

500 words exactly in every chapter? That's an accomplishment! I don't think I would be able to do that.

The plot has already started which is great. I wonder what exactly is James' job. Something illegal probably but I wonder what. And what was the last job he did that got someone angry at him?

The story is fast paced due to the word limit but I think it fits well since it has action and action is always better done fast.

I love the small details and descriptions you managed to add in like the "coffee was black as a burnt-out cauldron" and "must, with a hint of shellfish". It kept the the story from turning out too vague.

The woman is a witch? I wonder how she knows Matt. What's she going to do with James now?

You've managed to keep me questioning on what happens next. :) Lovely idea and lovely start to a story! I'm going to keep on reading.

~Sama

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for checking out my story! And congratulations to you for attempting to review all the stories! I'm glad you stopped by!

I thought that the 500 word challenge looked interesting, but my plots seem to always run away with me, so it was definitely a challenge. I encourage you to try it some time, just for the experience. You may surprise yourself!

I was slightly worried about the vagueness, but as I wrote, the details kept slipping in. I'm glad that worked for you.

Thanks for the review, and I'm happy it got you intrigued!

Pix


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Review #24, by navyfailHandle With Care: Meeting Charlie

15th August 2014:
Hi! Congrats on being the Story of the Week over at tgs!

Honestly, I have never read a fanfiction with Rita Skeeter as one of the main characters and likewise I haven't read one on Charlie. So this is pretty new to me.

The first thing that strikes me about this chapter is your descriptions. You don't overdo them but manage to set the scene perfectly. I've never been to Romania but I'm beginning to imagine what it's like there.

I actually like what you did with going from past to present. I sometimes feel that it's overdone but you manage to pull it off nicely. I actually went back and looked up Rita and Charlie's age. They are about twenty or so years apart, right?

Lottie seems like a character I can grow to love and Charlie seems nice. I'm really intrigued with his past. I can understand why Alfie doesn't like Lottie with her last name. It's quite an old pureblood name, right?

I love how much research you've put into this. It's really admirable. You got Charlie and Rita's ages correct and you even put in some of the Romanian language! And the fact that the Ministry owns all the dragon reserves. I actually didn't know that.

Great job with this chapter. Great summary and great cliffhanger at the end. ;)

~Sama

P.S. This is going in my favorites. Update soon!

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Review #25, by navyfailFree Fall: Free Fall

6th August 2014:
Hey Emma! Congrats on getting Story of the Week back in May. I'm actually going back and reviewing all of them since all of the stories were so amazing.

I think I read this story a few months ago and I was really touched by it. I've never made a huge deal about the Remus/Tonks ship but this story made me see it in a different light. Now I even ship them a bit.

I honestly thought of Lemony Snicket while reading this and he is one of my favorite authors! Your writing has a way of keeping you interested in every word. I honestly re-read some parts so I didn't miss a detail.

And I love how some of the scenes aren't that long but still manage to give a good insight of that happened. Not many people can pull that off!

The scene where she is five and Sirius comes over with the rest of the Marauders has got to be one of my favorites. It shows their age difference and has this realism to it. The mention of Sirius in the scene after is sweet in a dark-ish way.

So many quotes that I love:
"Such sweet beginnings can have terrible ends, too. And for that, we are truly sorry."

"He smiles then, a half-a*sed smile, but the first you've seen from him. " Half-a*sed, such a cute way to describe it.

"Losing them is free falling. Free falling into nothingness."

"You are both broken, so perhaps that's why you let him break you a bit more. "

"There is only one way people like this burn.

Brightly."

Best one-shot I've ever read.

100/10
~Sama

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