Reading Reviews From Member: navyfail
310 Reviews Found

Review #1, by navyfailUntwine: Discipline

26th June 2016:
And I'm here with the last of your reviews!

I have to say that you're imagery is fantastic! And the way you wrote your kingdom setting AU is great! I love how you weave your way through your tale, going from the rising sun to the rat in the kitchen to Draco.

And Draco a prince! That's sounds quite scary. And I do think you go his character as well as the rest of the Malfoys characters down.

I really love how you tried to match the beginning of book one with the parts with Harry and the Dursleys. I couldn't help notice the fact that Dudley wanted more presents and then they went out to get him another one. It really did send me back in the time to those scenes.

Also I love how you include Sirius as his dog form and how Harry cares about him so much. Also I love the addition of Hogsmeade and the Forbidden Forest.

I'm not surprised Vernon traded Harry away. It reminds me how much I disliked the whole family in the book.

I like how you end the one-shot. It gives a sense of dread as well as hope which I think is a great way to close. Terrific AU!


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Review #2, by navyfailBeautiful, Ugly People: chapter one

26th June 2016:
Hey, Mo! Here with your second review!

It's only the first chapter but I'm already really interested. Philippa is a character very different from me but at the same time I love how direct and slightly sarcastic she is. And I really can't wait to find out about what happened with her in the past that she keeps referring to. It must have been bad since she is risking expulsion.

Roxanne seems like the opposite of Philippa right now. While Philippa seems kind of careless and kind of lost, Roxanne still had her head in the game. I can't wait to see more interactions between them. It would be great to see more of how their friendship is.

And Hugo is in this story! It's kind of odd that he always had a notebook and quill with him but I'm sure he has his reasons. Is it his journal or does he just love writing? And he has to go to the Headmaster's office too... I wonder what he did to warrant a visit there. Is it the same incident as Philippa or something different?

Anyway, I think this is a lovely start to a story! I'm already very intrigued on how things are going to pan out. And Philippa seems like a different but still tough heroine!


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Review #3, by navyfailQueen of the Quills: The Autobiography of Rita Skeeter: Introduction

25th June 2016:
Hey, Mo! Here with the first of your reviews!

Rita Skeeter... probably one of my least favorite characters in Harry Potter but I always found her interesting.

I really like how much you already established about her in these few words. I find it surprising that she doesn't want to claim the title queen but then that may be because she wants to seem humble, something she claims she is.

I also find it surprising that she actually dedicated her autobiography to her parents. She just seems like the type to not dedicate anything to anyone really but she's sixty and probably a bit more sensitive now (I hope).

I absolutely love that she tries to tell us that she is not perfect and nor does she deserve the queen title yet she is still slightly above us. And I love how she mentions charity since that's one of the last things I would associate with her. And she makes sure we know she is charitable due to her donations and her helping get awareness of werewolves which I found funny.

I think this is a great beginning! I really think you have explored Skeeter's character quite well already and I think Queen of the Quills suits her well. Great work!


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Review #4, by navyfailKiss My Lips and Swear to Die: Hell Hath No Fury

24th April 2016:
I honestly thought I left a review on this chapter.
And then I come back to see I haven't, so sorry about that!

This chapter has so much going on, oh my!
Freddie actually uses the Great Hall as a platform to raise awareness for his mistake and Alyssa cuts off Sarah's hair! Not to mention that she even calls a teacher out for just standing there and doing nothing!

I have to say everyone's reactions were very interesting.

I mean there was this:
"You can't blame him. Have you seen how short the dresses she wears on the weekends are?

Its bloody Scotland. Have some self-respect.

And then there was people like Isabella.

Both girls and boys were really nasty, I have to say. I mean there were girls defending Freddie and shaming Lyssa and there were boys saying she a tease! Even though the accusations and explanations that came out after were horrible, I have to say they were pretty realistic. Teenagers aren't the nicest I have to say. And in school you actually notice more bullying and mean comments passed than nice things.

I love how Liv keeps standing up for Lyssa and I'm really curious about her secret. I'm sure in time we'll know but I'm still very interested. I also like how the two friends agreed to take their time telling each other. Sometimes we all need time and space, ya know?

I think the ending was kind of brilliant really. Sarah seems like she's kind of getting the whole picture now, and I think that is really important since if she is beginning to wrap her head around it maybe others will too! I also like Isabella a lot and hope she is around more often. She seems very levelheaded, a quality I tend to like in characters. And the last line really sums the situation about Freddy well and was a great ender!

Can't wait for the next chapter and lovely chapter, as always!


P.S. I didn't look over this review so please excuse any majo grammar/spelling mistakes.

Author's Response: Hey,

Haha, no worries, we all do that ;) I've made that mistake more times than I can count. Anyways, onto the review. My responses will probably be all over the place, just saying.

Yeah, even though Freddie's changed, he's still...well, Freddie and when you couple his penchant for dramatics with his guilt, it was inevitable that he was going to bring the issue to light so publicly. This chapter really sees some important issues come to light - for example, the way that teachers simply stood by and did nothing as you said. Then, there's the comments that other people have on his announcement with a lot of people saying some really mean stuff, especially because Alyssa's seen as this really moody, mean Gryffindor and Freddie is genuinely popular and liked. For many people, there's really no win-win situation for Lyssa which was pretty horrible to write, but necessary.

Liv's secret is really harmless, she's just overthinking it. She's going to realise that in a couple of chapters :)

Phew. Glad that the ending worked out okay - I really did struggle with it since it was a really heavy chapter. Sarah and Isabella are representative of two viewpoints and Isabella's *slight* success in getting Sarah to see the other side. Isabella's slowly going to slide into the chapters as a secondary character to shake things up a bit and get Lyssa a new friend after so long.

Next chapter will be submitted into the queue by the end of this week!

Thanks for the lovely review,

Plums xo

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Review #5, by navyfailTrapped In the Tower : Truth or Dare

27th March 2016:
I honestly can never get sick of ScoRose or a dare situation or when they are locked up in a tower or broom closet together.

I like how short and sweet you kept this one-shot! Scorpius isn't totally a jerk and Rose isn't totally snotty which is great because sometimes I feel like they are written too much like their parents or too much as extreme opposites. I think it was really honest of Rose to admit that she thinks Scorpius is just as smart as her. And the way Scorpius drops that he thinks she's cute and beautiful is adorable. And of course he has to go on and dare her to kiss him. What a sneaky Slytherin. I like how you added in Rose asking about the other girls who like him. It makes her seem very considerate off all the others who want his attention. And the fact that Lia got the hint and left is sweet.

Overall, I had a great time reading this! Before I end this I would like to mention that I am here from the annual Fundraiser competition and that if you haven't donated yet, please consider doing so. It would be great for all of us to see HPFF around for many for years! Thanks for the lovely read!


Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I almost never picture Scorpius as being a completely jerk - arrogant yes, but not mean. I just feel like he would be cocky towards so that she doesn't actually realize how vulnerable he is, because he is opening himself up to rejection.

Thanks for the awesome reviews! Check out some of my other stories if you like RoSco!

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Review #6, by navyfailColors: Blue

25th March 2016:
Hello, here for the BvB Blitz!

I actually didn't realize beforehand that this was based around Colors by Halsey. And when I was reading it I was literally thinking "this reminds of the song Colors so much" and I read your author's note and it all made sense. Silly me, I should have paid attention to the summary. But really I think you've woven the song into the story so well that if someone has heard the song they can spot that you were inspired by it so quickly, even without knowing beforehand.

I love how you divided the story into these little sections and how well you wrote your descriptions. Such detail and you managed the story with no dialogue... that's amazing!! And I noticed that a lot is the story is very poetic and lyrical as well. And this line is fantastic: "So I drink and I lie next to him and I see blue saturating the air all around me and then I can see the electricity and I can see the fire and I can see the ice inside his heart."

Scorose for me is up there with Jily so the ending really made me sad as well as when their relationship was taking a turn for the worst. But I think you captured how destructive their relationship was coming very well. And the I think the last paragraph ended the one-shot nicely. And the fact that Scorpius died tugs at my heart strings.

Great one-shot!! I had a lovely time reading it! And congrats on the diadem nomination!

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Review #7, by navyfailAccidentally On Purpose: The One In Which We Date the Beaters With Bad Teeth

24th March 2016:
I like how you still include stuff from the books that were happening that school year like Sirius Black and the dementors. I'm also surprised that Audrey went along with the date but I guess Marney can be very persuasive. And Audrey did dodge the first kiss, too bad she couldn't do so for the second. And Percy actually got jealous, even if it is of a large Slytherin beater! Also I think it's cute that she knew he wouldn't look back at her after she caught him staring!

I can't wait what to find out what happens next and I hope there is some more Percy/Audrey interactions next chapter!

Author's Response: yeah, one of my favourite things about writing during these sort of time periods is the characters experiencing the same things as harry did in the book, but in a completely different way. :D

halfway through next chapter right now, and it's filled with percy/audrey interactions so don't worry! :D

thank you!

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Review #8, by navyfailAccidentally On Purpose: The One In Which I Get a Nickname (and Accidentally Use a Portkey)

24th March 2016:
Oh no, Penelope Clearwater! I totally forgot about her. And now Audrey's jealous, though I'm sure she wouldn't want to admit it! I like how Marney continues to pursue Professor Lupin... there is always that one teacher that at one point or another you think is cute. And I'm sure Marney's feelings will lessen with time. And we meet the twins, even if is for a short amount of time! I have to hand it to Audrey for apparating so quickly out of there! It would have been really messy otherwise. And Percy of course puffs out his chest and tries to show authority and confidence even when in Knockturn Alley. I'm beginning to see why he is in Gryffindor.

Fantastic chapter! I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: thank you so much! i think i would have totally had a crush on lupin if i'd been at hogwarts with audrey and marney, so i decided to put it in there. :D

thank you so much for the review!

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Review #9, by navyfailAccidentally On Purpose: The One in Which Pompous Percy Takes the Blame

24th March 2016:
Aw, Percy isn't that bad! He even covered for her and received a detention! I can never imagine him getting detention for some reason, since he seems like he is the one who gives out them. And I agree with Marney, I think he likes her. And I think it's cute how flustered Audrey gets when he called her by her first name. And of course Snape would make her keep going on with the detention even after getting a burn.

I'm really interested in where this story is going and I wonder how Audrey's relationship with Percy will grow!


P.S. I just saw your author's page and I may be wrong but a couple years back I was on tda by the name rebel_heart and if you kept the same username as back then I remember you as Ellie!

Author's Response: true, I imagine J K Rowling would have something to say about me giving him a detention like that!

wow, yes I remember you too! omg

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Review #10, by navyfailAccidentally On Purpose: The One In Which I Almost Fall Into The Fireplace

24th March 2016:
Yes, a Percy/Audrey story!
I read one a long time ago and ever since then I've been open to reading more about the pairing, even if Percy is a bit stuck up (which can be funny at times).
I really like Audrey and Marney! Their friendship seems very genuine and I love how Marney is the one who comes up with the crazy ideas while Audrey's the one who tends to get in trouble. And the pet when Percy started blushing was so cute! He seems easily rattled.
And Marney's comments about how getting into Percy's pants and becoming friends with him is the same thing... so funny and I wonder how Audrey is going to pull that of.

Great first chapter! I love your writing style and your characters seem full of life!


Author's Response: i love doing the pairings that aren't widely explored in the books and in fanfiction, so i thought this was a good one! and writing stuck up characters is fun.

glad you like the first chapter, thanks for the review!

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Review #11, by navyfailThe Human Factor : The One Where Things Are Mended And Broken

12th March 2016:
You're back!

I actually couldn't put my thoughts into words after first reading this chapter so I took some time and here I am!

Pippa... I just want to hug her and tell her it's okay to think that everything is not going to work out but to look up and know that you don't know your good times without the bad. But I don't think Pippa would accept that hug.

I honestly felt so scared for her when she was out in the rain and thinking of jumping in. And she sees him everywhere! (If I remember correctly we still don't have a name to her former lover?) That's so daunting! And she breaks off ties with Damien! I don't know how I feel about that honestly. I'm sad because siblings should stick together but I understand her reasoning. I really hope her and Cassie will reconcile and put this behind them soon. Pippa's working at it but she's still mad and I l love Cassie... so I hope everything works out.

And Scorpius. He's amazing. Period. And Pippa is finally accepting that she needs him and that she wants him around and that makes me so excited because they are the best cousin duo. He's such a sweetheart! Really, I love how you wrote him!

Now on to Albus. Is it just me or did I detect a bit of jealousy from him? I mean he got pretty mad when he saw Pippa in James's sweater. And he still made out with her again... so I think he has a soft spot for her, not in love with her or anything, but there is something. And I wonder how much they will be interacting during the holidays since Pippa is coming over to the Potters.

Overall, I think this was a very emotional chapter and it was so good that I couldn't even form words in the end. So much happened... I feel like I know Pippa more than ever now. And gosh do I dislike her former lover!! He sounds terrible! And I would like to think that Pippa will be totally over him one day! And your writing is just perfect. It's poetic in places and her thoughts are written so well and you can feel the angst and worry just jumping out at you like... Wow! Amazing job and I really hope we get the next chapter soon!

Till next time...

Author's Response: Hello Sama. Yup, I'm back, I've been literally working on this chapter for 9 months. So I was happy to finally post it yet nervous, because of the reveals in the chapter. But I'm gonna start working on the next chapter, it should come faster as the next one won't be as long, I shouldn't think. This was like double chapter material.

Thank you for taking your time to come back to review, it would have been a lot easier to not come back, so I'm really happy that you came back, I really appreciate it, so thank you.

Haha, yes, she'd never accept the hug. But she's getting there, one day, she might accept it.

Wow, that's a huge compliment, that my words can cause emotion in the reader. And nope, still no name, Pippa is not ready to say his name in his head. She's not ready to confront the past and let go. She's had enough of Damien for now. He's betrayed her, he has tried to re insert himself in her life, but he went about it in all the wrong way. Pippa is close to breaking and she can't take the drama that Damien brings. Her and Cassie have a way to go. She has broken Pippa's trust. Pippa trusts Cassie and Scorpius the most in the world so it is hard to take that betrayal. She may moan but she'd do anything for them. Pippa will stay mad for a while, but she can't bear to lose Cassie the way she lost Emilie. Losing Cassie fully would break her.

I'm so glad you like Scorpius, I have a personal soft spot for him. Yes. She's finally accepting that she needs him and loves him. It scares her, but she can't deny it anymore. Thank you so much. He's so much fun to write.

Yup. Albus does not like to share his toys. She interests him, because her brokeness is so much like his. Messed up is interesting to him, normal is boring. Yes, they will share scenes over the holidays.

Yes, it was quite emotional wasn't it? And wow, that's a huge compliment. Yes, lots of things happened. I'm glad you think you know Pippa more. And yes, more was revealed about him, the real truth on how their relationship ended up and the reason for the break up. One day she will, she just has to allow herself as she's still holding on too tight right now to the memories of him. I'm so glad you like my writing, that's so kind of you to say so. You saying that has made my day so thank you.

I'm working on the next chapter and I'm hoping it'll be up a lot quicker than the last one. Thanks so much for the review, it's been so fun to read and I hope you have a wonderful day. x

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Review #12, by navyfailHero: Riddles in the Dark

6th March 2016:
Noah came from an orphanage? I wonder if it is the same orphanage Tom can from. Hmm... I'll have to check.

I have to say that Theo and Hero make me cringe, mostly due to what they are doing to Emory. They should come clean and Theo shouldn't be dating a girl if he thinks he loves someone else.

And Hero thinks Tom is safer than Theo! Oh how wrong she is! And the first student has been murdered. Why do I have a feeling that if Theo is a muggleborn he may be on Tom's hit list?

I love the small details you are putting in such as Hagrid's appearance and Tom being so silent which ties back to Theo saying how no one heard who did those things to the roosters.

I love how we slowly get to find out more about Noah as well. And the comment on drowning caught me? Did he die by drowning as well or is it just that Hero almost drowned at the same time he died? Also her parents seem very scary and strict which you established pretty well in the first chapter but they just keep getting worse. Everything rests on her OWL grades, how stressful!

Anyway fantastic chapter! I had a lovely time reading it.



Author's Response: Poor Noah did drown :( Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #13, by navyfailHero: Something Wicked This Way Comes

6th March 2016:
For the HPFF Review-A-Thon!

I'm not sure if there was a hint in the first chapter but I didn't catch that Theo and Emory were dating, but it makes me so sad that Emory is going to be so hurt when she finds out. And Theo really needs to stop bein obvious about it, even if he is hurt.

And the little memories of Noah just add to the mystery. His birth name and changed name are really different... I wonder why he chose Noah and I wonder how Hero and him met in the first place.

Tom Riddle seems interested in Hero, almost too interested. And of course he smirks at her before offering a hand up. The spider part actually reminded me of a friend of mine who jumps at the sight of a spider as well so I thought that was really relatable. And Canadian Chewing Carrot? That's brilliant!

And chamber of secrets stuff is already starting I see. Sneaky Tom Riddle. And I felt so bad for those first years but I thought it was really sweet that Hero comforted them!

I love how the plot keeps thickening and how many secrets you have woven in the story! Really well done!


Author's Response: Yes he's very sneaky. Thank you for another amazing review!

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Review #14, by navyfailHero: One Day at a Time

6th March 2016:
For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

I've actually never read a Tom Riddle story so this should be new and interesting for me! First off, can I say I love your main character's name? It's actually what drew me to this story, the fact that her name is Hero! It's so powerful and original!

You have gotten so much dread filled into one chapter! I mean first there is what happened between Theo and Hero, then there is the fact that Hero may have killed a Muggle over the summer, and then there is Tom Riddle. I have to say I think you capture Tom's character very well. You can feel the danger and spookiness coming off him with his smirk, pale skin, and all knowing expression. And her brother is friends with him? And I'm guessing that Riddle knows about what Hero did over the summer?

I hope we get to see more of Emory in future chapters! She seems like a friendly person and I like how you made her someone who quotes Shakespeare!

And lastly: "His face didnt exactly screw up like he had eaten a lemon, but I could see the strain he was under by resisting the urge to do so." I don't know why but I found this funny, maybe because I've made the same face after eating a lemon?

Anyway, lovely start to the story!


Author's Response: Thank you, I'm happy you like her name! Thanks for the review!

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Review #15, by navyfailKiss My Lips and Swear to Die: A Lost Boy

6th March 2016:
For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

I don't know if I'm happy the whole chapter was on Lyssa and Freddie or sad that they are no where near getting along yet. Don't get me wrong, they finally cleared most everything up but they've both changed so much, especially Freddie. And I just want them both to be normal again! But nevertheless I like some of the points you brought up in this chapter, especially how Freddie pointed out how no one ever tells you that kissing a girl without permission is wrong, not directly anyway. And also I love how you made Freddie mention that everyone in the school actually encouraged him instead of putting him down for his actions which is very true and actually happens a lot. And when Lyssa told him that to everyone he was the golden boy whether he thought of himself as that or not, I saw myself in her... because even if I'm not brave I probably would have pointed that out as well.

But on to my favorite part: he outright admitted he likes her and she finally accepts that he did all of that because he likes her! No more going around the subject! And throughout when they are talking Freddie has to stop himself from being amused and smiling and oh my, he is so adorable!

I think it's obvious that I still ship them because even if they aren't at a good place right now I do believe they will somehow work everything out. You know after Freddie redeems himself by switching his actions and Lyssa begins to see him a bit more differently.

Also on last thing: you started this story out with Lyssa stating that she isn't a damsel in distress and that Freddie doesn't need to save her. Is it just me or did Freddie in a way end up being the one who needed saving?

Anyway, I look forward to future updates as usual! And I'm super excited that the major angsty bits are almost done because even though I love angst I really do miss the lightheartedness of this fic! And old Fredddie, of course. ;)

Till next time...


Author's Response: Hey,

I am finally responding, instead of being a waste of space and being unproductive ;)

Hm, I'd suggest being both happy and sad since we humans are complex characters. But no seriously, even though they're not yet getting along, they're taking a step in the right direction and that's what matters. They would never be able to get along without clearing the air. Now that most of it's out of the way, they'll start easing into an entirely new dynamic.

Hint. Hint.

Yeah, I'm actually surprised by how much Freddie's changed too because I wasn't intending to do it that drastically. However, this is just the immediate aftermath of him finding out the magnitude of his actions and as he said himself, he was always "one of the good guys". With the people he has for family, he feels like he's seriously failed everyone, including himself. Rest assured, however, the easy going Freddie will be back (with the help of a much too curious Lyssa among others).

Yes, I think the fact that there was no one else telling him to back off is a really important thing to mention. People can be easily influenced by everyone else's reactions and people were encouraging him to go on. So he did.

Yes, another milestone has been reached! Freddie likes her and she accepts it. Now that is some serious character development if I say so myself. And yeah, even as she's more or less bringing his flaws to the light, he still fancies her. He just can't help admiring/being amused by her, really :P

As for the shipping, it's one step at a time. I am pleased to say that this is the lowest point in their relationship and things will be going up from here onwards. Of course, it won't be completely smooth sailing.

Bloody hell. That last point did not occur to me, but I think it might just be my favourite comment.

(I am so putting that on my tumblr at some point. Don't worry, you'll be credited :P )

Don't worry, I miss the lighthearted bits too! I've just submitted the last really heavy chapter and I am actually writing the chapter where James is happy again. That's right - JAMES AND FREDDIE ARE COMING BACK SOON.

Thank you for the lovely review!

Plums xo

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Review #16, by navyfailKiss My Lips and Swear to Die: Chinese Whispers

27th February 2016:
When I saw an update I had to immediately click on this story and read the new chapter, even when I promised myself I would try to write. Clearly, I have a lot of resilience.

I honestly think this is my favorite chapter yet! Maybe it's because I can't help but love drama and angst? Or maybe it's because I love your take on gossip (because it really is horrible)? Probably both actually. :)

Oh, Lyssa! I don't know how she deals with all of this. I think Liv's rant really put into perspective how Lyssa's Hogwarts life has been so far. Lyssa's name has always been attached to Freddie and never in a nice way and now it's finally coming out and again backlashing... with James confronting her, there are rumors. And a sixth year slapped her bum!! The nerve of some people. Though I did think it was sweet that Chang pretended to not noticed when Lyssa kneed him in the parts. Serves him right, cheeky human being!

And Liv, I really do respect and like her a lot... she's the perfect best friend, trying to right what she thought she did wrong.

And Freddie... it actually hurts knowing he's in this state. But it makes me super excited that Lyssa is going to try and help. Even if she does owe him nothing. I really do wonder how Lyssa is willing to do this. If it was me I would have to fight myself to not run away from the whole situation (what I Gryffindor I am).

A confession: I still don't like Adelaide. And no matter how much forgiving and nice she becomes to Lyssa I don't think I can grow to like her. I understand why she defended Freddie but I can't sympathize with her if you know what I mean. In my opinion she was very rude to Lyssa and though James was the same, Adelaide was her roommate! And in the beginning they actually seemed like friends. Maybe things will change in future chapters, we'll have to see...

I have a lot of respect for Lyssa for not telling Liv about Lavender. It takes a lot to keep a secret from such a close friend.

And I love love love how you called Freddie a lost boy. The Peter Pan reference made me immediately think back to Once Upon A Time, a show I absolutely adore, and it really does fit with him I think. I also do understand what you mean by the underlying fairytale theme that's going on since the story started out with Lyssa claiming that she was not a damsel in distress (a very fairytale idea).

Anyway, love where this story is going! I really do think your writing is brilliant and so are the ideals and themes you are trying to portray. And I didn't expect the dedication but thank you! That's really sweet of you but there was no need, you really did deserve that nomination and I'm rooting for you to make it to the voting stage and then hopefully winning. *crosses fingers*


P.S. I did it again and rambled on and made this review super long. Sorry about that, I know long reviews sometimes take a while to respond to.

Author's Response: Hey :)

Haha, don't be resilient. Be weak. Wait, unless that means there's a delay with BIR and CtB. Then feel free to be as strong as you want!

Ah, it's good to know that you liked the chapter! When I went back to edit it, I wondered whether I was laying on the drama too thick, but then I remembered that everyone's dramatic in high school so it's not like it's unrealistic or anything. And yeah, gossip really is horrible. People can be mean :/ If I was Lyssa, I would have snapped YEARS ago, especially because her name has always been attached to Freddie and not in a good way, as you said.

It's weird because when I actually started writing this, Liv wasn't solidified in my mind, but I ended up writing her so much that I genuinely love her. She's like a little sweetheart.

Yeah, I'm not a Gryffindor either so I probably would've blown up and then hid for the rest of my Hogwarts days if I was Lyssa too XD By this point, I think she's more or less fed up with everyone hounding her about it and she just wants it to go away. Plus, as we'll see in the next chappie, she's a little unnerved by the way he's acting so that factors into her decisions too.

It's interesting because some people really like Adelaide and other people don't. Personally, I don't hate her, but I think that's just because I've written CH16 in which she has a bit of a heart to heart with Lyssa and explains a little more about why she was so upset. She could've behaved better, but she's a nice person really.

Glad to see that it's not just me who realised I've had a bit of the fairytale theme going on! I know I've barely touched upon it, but I like returning to it now and again.

But seriously, thank YOU for the nomination. It was so unexpected and it really did mean the world to me since Freddie's a bit of controversial character, you know? Even if I don't win it, that still made my day.

Really glad you're enjoying the story so far and not getting bored by the more serious tone. (Or frustrated by how long it takes me to update!) Thank you for the review - and don't worry about it. I love long reviews!

Plums xo

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Review #17, by navyfailSweet Disposition: won't stop 'til it's over

25th February 2016:
And she knows there is a name for how she is feeling! Right when Rose felt relief in finding out about asexuality I found myself relieved too since she had been worrying over it for so long and now she know it's okay and that there are other people like her. And Scorpius is such a sweetheart! I can just hug him!! And they are going to keep dating and everything and aw, my precious babies. I really do love Scorose a tad too much haha. Anyway J, I think you should be extremely proud of this story! It flows really nicely and explores a theme that isn't too often in stories. And your Rose has to be one of my favorite ones I've ever read! My final thought is that I loved reading this so a huge thank you for writing it.


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Review #18, by navyfailSweet Disposition: our rights

25th February 2016:
Aww, they're dating! And James was in this chapter!

I like how Scorpius tries to apologize to her for maybe forcibly snogging her. I don't think that many would do that and I feel that it's a detail that is most often forgotten. That if you spontaneously kiss someone and don't check if they were okay with going along with it, what you did may have been wrong.

I also really like how you included Logan's reactions to Scorpius and Rose dating. And her accidental admission to Al really didn't go very well... I'm surprised Rose didn't get that frustrated about how he didn't understand but Rose has always been good at thinking things through so maybe that's why.

And the end... aw, Rose. I have a feeling she's going to think over not liking snogging Scorpius that much either next chapter.

I'm enjoying this story very much and love your take on ScoRose!!


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Review #19, by navyfailSweet Disposition: a moment of love

25th February 2016:
Rose and Logan broke up! I guess that was kind of expected and I actually don't mind it very much since that leaves room for Scorose but it still seems sad. I do think it's great for Rose though since she's always felt forced to snog him and now she can be free of it. And I think it's really sweet that they're still friends.

I love how practical and rational Rose is. She really does analyze everything and I love how she talks about having files in her mind!

I also like how we got to know Charlotte a bit more. She is a good FOIL to Rose I think and she does try to be a good listener. I really like how Rose asks Charlotte about stuff but doesn't always believe what she says is absolutely right. It definitely makes her seem like a very independent person which I admire.

And for the most important part:

And she sort of felt something. Maybe not everything but something. Which means she may like him. And he definitely likes her!!!

Anyway, I really like how everything is playing out and I think you flawlessly incorporate Rose's thoughts and doubts with everything that is happening around her. It's very realistic that she questions herself about why she doesn't feel the same emotions as others. Nicely done, J!!


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Review #20, by navyfail2% Cotton, 98% Boyfriend Material: Puns

21st February 2016:
Aww, this is so cute and sweet! I haven't read jily in a while and this definitely reminds me why they are my otp! I love James's dorky personality in this as well as Sirius's reactions to everything! I'm actually pretty surprised that Lily said yes as well but if James ever used that pun on me I couldn't have resisted. And the ending is absolutely genius!

Lovely one-shot!


Author's Response: I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! Jily is one of my favourite things to write, I constantly have to stop myself from writing story after story about them. Who would be able to resist James Potter asking them out with a pun let's be honest here, nobody would resist that. I'm so glad that you enjoyed the one-shot and thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #21, by navyfailSweet Disposition: oh, reckless abandon

21st February 2016:
Hey, J! Here for BvB! Even though I have a lot of catching up to do with Mistaken for Strangers, I thought I would pop on by this fic since you wanted more feedback on it!

I have to say this fic is right up my alley being ScoRose, next gen, and taking place in Hogwarts. And the fact that's it's set at the same time as Mistaken for Strangers is always a plus. As I read I couldn't help but pick up the same situations such as Lucy liking Logan and James confronting him under the table.

I think it's really interesting how you approached asexuality. The fact that Rose has dreamed about her first kiss for so long only to figure out there were no fireworks is really sad but at the time realistic for most. I think what stood out a lot though is the fact that she doesn't like the snogging Logan at all even if she does have some feelings for him. And the fact that she questions herself about it fits in well with what you are trying to convey.

I love that we meet Scorpius near the end. They really do like to argue and I find it really unusual but cute that Rose is a Slytherin while Scorpius is a Ravenclaw. I'm beginning to think that Rose may have asked the sorting hat to place her there seeing as Scorpius had a point about her very Gryffindor-like quantities.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this first chapter! I think you capture the teen essence really well and the fact that you had this whole story up so fast is amazing!! Until next time...


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Review #22, by navyfailPride and Scorpius: Well met on the Hogwarts Express

19th February 2016:
Hello! Here from the BvB battle!

I love next gen stories and Scorose so I couldn't resist clicking on this story from your author's page.

I think it's sweet that you characterized Scorpius differently from most. Instead of already being arrogant, he seems very shy and reserved. And I love how quickly Al tries to engage him in conversation and make him feel comfortable!

I do think you explain why Rose isn't very accepting of Scorpius very well. I can imagine living around Ron can alter your perspective. But I love Ron so I won't blame him for being openly against the Malfoys slightly.

I was a little surprised that Al and Rose didn't know that their Dads call Umbridge the same name since they are so close together and I feel like they would have brought it up before starting their first year. But maybe they never talked about Umbridge, who knows.

My favorite line has to be this one:
"Rose saw Dom in one and Lewis in another with his arm around a girl! Even more salaciousness for James she thought, wait till he finds out about this."
I honestly feel that this captures Rose's age so perfectly and it makes Rose have some humor as well. And of course the mention of James is bonus points right there.

The ending is a great way to finish the chapter. Goblins attending Hogwarts sounds very interesting and I've never read a story mentioning that heavily so that's very new and original! Anyway, I had a great time reading this chapter and hopefully I'll be back another time to read the next chapters whether it is because of BvB or because I'm looking for some ScoRose to read.


Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review. I really have to thank the BvB so much for bringing new readers my way.

I love Scoroses too. I think the way they were set up means that a lot can happen between the pairing - for good or ill.

There are so many fic's out there with nasty, stuck-up, arrogant Scorpii (the plural of Scorpius, don't you know ;), that I wanted to have a look what would happen with him portrayed another way. As to the nature of Albus, I've always seen him portrayed as so caring, it just seemed natural that he would want to alieviate anyone's fears and concerns. Could that be leading him into Hufflepuff ... hm, we shall see.

If you see, yes Rose does have a slight predisposition against him, from all the stories that her dad told of them when they were kids, but she is fairer than that. She is much more her own person than to blindly follow the prejudices of her father, oh no don't you worry, she is going to find prejudices all of her own. So it's not just her dad, but he didn't help.

You are right it is a bit strange, but it can be explained as you said; that the two fathers have brought her up to their respective children, but have not done so in the presence of the other child nor when that have been together. One of the things that I hope it subtly shows is that the two dad's don't often bring up the past so much. That they are living in the here and now, and living their lives fully and happily, without having to dredge up past glories.

Thanks so much, I have really tried to insert behaviour that is appropriate to each of the children's ages. It is difficult not to make them too wise beyond their years. As for James, he will definitely like to hear about a bit of salaciousness and I like to see him there too. He will not play that great a role in this story - not like my major four protagonists - but he will be a strong presence. I will try to do him justice.

Goblins as well. It fits in with my other story, set just after DH, in which Harry makes it possible for those goblins who can to go to Hogwarts. A lot more of the details of it will be shown there, but for this story it is just accepted as fact. As far as this story is concerned, we will be delving into some background about all of this, but mostly it will be that Rose has a best friend who is shorter and has pointier ears - for most respects she will behave like a normal eleven year old girl, who's just had a slightly different upbringing.

Well thank you so much for stopping by with such a lovely review. I do so hope that you return and enjoy the rest - though I must warn that the romance aspect of it all will not start for many chapters to come. There is a slow build to it all but the romance will come ... eventually. As of this response the story as a whole has had 6681 reads, and this chapter has had 1184; thank you all.

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Review #23, by navyfailBreathe: i. Consequence

6th February 2016:
Ohh, this is definitely different from most of the Marauder stories I've read. I like how you show Sirius and James in the middle of a tough period. I don't think I've ever really read them when they were having a rough patch or an argument. It's usually best friends for life James and Sirius so this is definitely new and refreshing in sort of a way. I honestly feel so bad for Sirius because his friends really are everything for him since he has never been that close with family. And now he's alone!

Not only is James not talking to him, but Remus and Peter as well. Whatever happened sounds very serious.

I'm not sure if I'm correct but it seems like the prank may have been the Whomping Willow incident with Snape. I've never really thought about that incident and actually never thought the Marauders would have a rift over that, though it was a very dangerous thing to do. Again, I may be totally off about this.

I have to say I really like how you ended this. You effortlessly brought in the title of this story, finishing off with "except he couldn't stop thinking and his mind kept going back to James and oh, Merlin, Remus, until he had to get out of bed to breathe or throw up."

Great start to the story! I wonder if the Marauders will make up and if they do anytime soon, how. And I'm sure later in the story the incident that started this will be expanded on and Snape's comment of Sirius being a queer will come up as well.

Great job and congrats on 100 reviews!


Author's Response: Hi Sama!

It was really, really nice of you to come leave me this review when I posted about being 1 away from 100! Thank you so much!

You're right, this was the Whomping Willow incident. Interestingly, that event and the aftermath seem to be a common thing to write fics about on other sites, but not on here. I'm not really sure why that is, but yeah, that's what this is about. I think that it would definitely cause a rift (obviously) because Sirius' actions could have led to Snape's death, and to Remus unwillingly becoming a murderer.

You're right again that those things will be explored more in the rest of the story, and I hope you enjoyed this first chapter enough to come back and continue reading sometime! ^.^

Thank you again for the very sweet gesture and this lovely review!


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Review #24, by navyfailColombiana: Chapter Two

6th February 2016:
And I'm back for BvB! Sorry for taking forever to get to this chapter but I finally did, using the review battle as an excuse to make me make time.

I'm actually really glad Tristan is back! He seems like an interesting character... very brave and direct. And this comment: ..."she would not be held responsible for her actions, no matter how cute she had thought he was." She thinks he's cute! Even though she now thinks he's kind of annoying! I like that he came back for her even though it was to find out if she was a spy. For someone who works for the American ministry, he's a little obvious about the fact that he is a wizard. But then maybe Daphne's a little observant.

I was actually surprised that Daphne intervened in the end. She seems like the type who watches out for herself and usually stays at a bystander. But I thought it was really brave that she did go and try to help Francisco. I honestly thought a show down of sorts would happen but I'm relieved she's okay. And I love how you ended the chapter with her by being able to open the door again.

I can't tell you if your Spanish was correct since I don't speak Spanish but I thought it was a nice touch that you put those lines in and kept pointing out that Daphne had a hard time understanding some interactions because she doesn't understand the language too well. I think this fits with her setting really well!

I like how this story is going at a good place... not too slow, but too fast. I honestly thought it would take longer before we see Tristan again but I was really happy to see him back. His interactions with Daphne are always interesting.

Anyway, great chapter! Your imagery was spot on and it seems like the plot is slowly unraveling. And a huge congrats on story of the month!!


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Review #25, by navyfailCacophony : puerile.

21st January 2016:
Hello! I was looking through the the recently added list and I saw this story so I thought I would give it a go.

First off, I love you main character's name! When I read it I immediately thought back to Isla Fisher.

I honestly think beginning with Isla finding out about Quinn's drugs sets up the university atmosphere nicely. I don't know why, maybe because when you think of university you think of education, drugs, and alcohol immediately. Or maybe that's just me. :P

I like how the friend group has a guy in it. I think it gives for an interesting dynamic. I think Victoria is the most interesting next to Isla. Maybe that's because she knows how to fight? Also everyone calling Mika Blonde Jesus is kind of funny.

I'm curious as to why everyone refers to the DADA professor as Lina. That sounds like a first name and I would have thought students would refer to her my her last name. Also I feel for Isla that she has to do yet another presentation! Hopefully it will be the last one from DADA in a while.

Also, I'm guessing Mika's roommate is Scorpius Malfoy? Because I'm pretty sure the redhead he was helping is Rose Weasley. But maybe I'm wrong, who knows. But if it is them, that's really cute since they're are one of my OTPs!

A couple things I noticed:

"...was ninety year old who was reminiscing her youthful days." I think you forgot an 'a' between 'was' and 'ninety year old.'

"He wants to learn how to fight," answered Victoria, her voice muffled as she leaned further into

Quinn's shoulder who giggled at the ticklish feeling."
There was a line of space before the sentence was finished.

"Not only did Isla had to complete this essay, but also had to start on the presentation which probably would take two days since she really f***ng hated DADA."
I think instead of had it's supposed to be have: 'Not only did Isla have to...'

"Suddenly a blonde bloke came to her rescue, his tall figure aiding him to grab the book from the self with ease." Instead of self, I'm guessing this is supposed to be shelf?

"The next morning her phone's battery was half of what was when she had gone to sleep and Quinn wasn't in her bed." I'm pretty sure there should be an it between 'what' and 'was': '...her phone's battery was half of what it was when...'

Overall, I think this is a great start to a story! I've never read a university hp fic so this is new for me but in a good way! I think you should keep going with this story since it is developing quite nicely. And the texting was definitely very realistic! And I love that you included technology into this (WizBook and all).


Author's Response: hiii thank you so much!!! im so glad you like this, i was honestly v scared to post this lol but thank u thank u!! and haaa, you'll see who's the roommate aha and o wow thank u for pointing out the typos!! means a lot, i'll fix them asap and post the second chapter bc im so excited for this story and your review made my excitement go up a notch, thank you !!! and yay im happy you liked the texting bit xx

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