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Reading Reviews From Member: marauderfan
  
1,450 Reviews Found

Review #26, by marauderfanThe Harder They Fall: Deeper Than Oceans

21st June 2017:
WOWOWOWOWWOW THIS WAS SO AMAZING BIANCA. YOU ARE AMAZING


This chapter was so powerful. You really heaped on the angst and grief there in the first part and I was so convinced Brindley was dead, and then when she breathed I could barely believe it and normally happy endings are too sweet for me but I needed this one. Considering how much these two have been through in all the previous chapters, they deserved a happy ending together.


I was quite literally on the edge of my seat this entire chapter and didn't even look away when some lady in the library came by and looked over my shoulder at what I was reading and it was clearly fanfiction but I COULD NOT STOP READING. The suspense in this chapter was just incredible.


And I know I was angry at Finn last chapter, but I think he was angry with himself too, and he needed to be. He needed to understand how much he had messed up, and now that he has, I was on his side again and cheering for him. I loved when he punched Tom in the face and how he is unashamed of loving Brindley and he's just grown up so much through this story - thinking of the Finn in the beginning of the story with dreams of being Grindelwald's little minion, to how he's become who he is now, it's really remarkable and I'm so happy everything worked out for him. And I'm also glad he learned the truth about Hero's death - he deserved to know that. :(


Congrats on finishing this story! This really has been an amazing, award-winningly fantastic story so well done on completing it! I'm sorry this review is all over the place, but my emotions are all over the place after this chapter because it was so good. Amazing work! ♥

Author's Response: Ah, no. YOU'RE AMAZING!

I'm sooo glad you like Finn again (:P) and that you like the ending!

Thank you for being here and reviewing every single chapter. I appreciate more than I can put into words ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #27, by marauderfanThe Harder They Fall: Hollow

21st June 2017:
How is this story finished already! Gah, this chapter was so hard to read. Not because of the writing quality, because that was superb of course. Mostly because I'm so frustrated at Finn's short-sightedness and poor decision making. I am glad Sebastian tied him up at the end and tried to shake some sense into him (however badly that worked) because it was something I very much wanted to do myself.

Honestly, Finn isn't that likeable right now- he condemned an innocent girl to death for personal gain/because he valued her life less than Brindley's, and then he stole from an middle aged poor man whom Tom had just left unconscious. He's not at the top of my list of winners right now. BUT despite all of that, I still want everything to work out for him. Despite what a mess he is, he's doing all these wrong things for the right reasons, he just hasn't thought through the consequences, and that's why I ultimately do like Finn. I don't like him, but I like him - I'm sure that makes loads of sense. :P but omg, he really is a fascinating character and he has really screwed some things up and I want it all to be okay.

Poor Brindley. I can't blame her for walking out on Finn - I know he was trying to protect her, but he was such a meddler about it, deliberately hiding things from her that she'd wanted to know for so long, and had a right to know. And now I'm worried about what's going to happen to her, and I have some bad suspicions :(

I feel so badly for Sebastian too, trying to take things into his own hands and get out of the manipulations of his family but not realizing that he's still being manipulated by Tom.

The final chapter is awaiting me so I have nothing else to say other than that you are a fantastic writer. ♥

Author's Response: What do you mean already?! It took me long enough, haha!

Yep, it's a bit of a dark moment for Finn, and he's in a really hard position. I can't deny your negative feelings for him :P

See you at the next chapter! :D ♥


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Review #28, by marauderfanLiar: Epilogue: the truth about Jimmy Portman

21st June 2017:
The last chapter!! Ahh, I can't believe this wonderful story is over. But I think I was only partway through Jimmy Portman so now I'm even more excited to finish it now that I know the background!

Anyway, back to this chapter. I loved the way you made such a major twist in canon in an entirely believable way. If Peter were to do anything differently from his actions in the books, I think it wouldn't be not selling out the Potters, but it would be some sort of damage control in an indirect way, and that's exactly what you have here and it makes a lot of sense. The way you've characterized Peter throughout the whole story supports his actions here - he's never been the sort of person to run headlong into anything, rather, to change things from the safety and anonymity of the shadows he's used to occupying.

Your characterization of Peter is one of the best I've ever read, and while I don't really like him, at times I can sympathize with him and relate to him, and making a reader feel that about such a universally disliked character is impressive.

His relationship with Remus was my favourite part of the story overall, because it's a ship I've never seen anywhere else (100 gold stars for originality) and because it really makes sense - James and Sirius were best friends and closest to each other out of the four, so it's understandable that Remus and Peter would be close too, not to mention that they're the quieter of the four Marauders. But ultimately their personalities were incompatible in a romantic relationship - Remus is too self-deprecating and Peter isn't strong enough to handle it - but there's still something there, some leftover feelings that lasted through a lot of heartbreak and other lovers and even if they don't get back together in a romantic sense, there's a definite sense of hope that things will be okay between them and that the love will always be there.

The scene with Silvia and Mary was so heartbreaking as she realizes what Peter has done. That must be so hard to come to terms with, especially as Peter is her only child. And the scene with James and Lily was so sad as well, with Lily being pregnant again right after losing Harry, I can see how she doesn't feel ready and her anxiety that the new baby will be just a replacement is so sad, but makes so much sense right after what she and James have been through.

The lines during Sirius and Remus' discussion about how it was easier for Sirius to distrust a werewolf because everyone else did, and how Sirius should have trusted Remus - those were such poignant lines and ouch, there's a lot of hurt there and unintentional discrimination, which is so hurtful because they're best friends and I think Sirius is uncomfortable confronting that about himself which is why he tries to gloss over with humor. I am glad he owned up to it and apologized though, even if he deflects his feelings with jokes. But as hard as this scene was, it was really nice to think that they were able to reconcile without Sirius sitting in prison for 13 years for something he didn't do while Remus thought Sirius was a murderer. But... poor Alice and Frank :'(

Thank you for writing this amazing story! I've enjoyed every word of it, and you are so talented.

♥♥♥♥,
Kristin

Author's Response: I'm finally caught up answering reviews on HPFF, quite proud of myself :P

KRISTIN!
I'm so glad you got to the end of this with me! You are just the best friend and reviewer ever and I love you so much!!!

I'm glad you thought the twist in canon made sense. Yes, I totally agree, Peter would try to find a solution in the less exposing way possible, I love your character analysis here, it's just so perfect!

And I'm so glad you liked my characterization of Peter. Heading people say they they could understand him and sympatize with him to an extent is such a huge compliment to me and makes me so proud!

I'm so glad you loved the Peter/Remus ship, too! I'm actually not sure where it came from but I'm glad it made sense. I always thought Peter and Remus would be closer, since James and Sirius are such a strong duo. And yes, they couldn't really work as a couple because, like you say, their personalities just aren't compatible that way, but they'll always have strong feelings for each other.

Silvia and Mary’s scene is probably my favourite in this chapter. Yes, it would be so hard for a mother accepting that about her only child... :( And yes, poor Lily... I'm glad you could understand her feelings in that situation.

I'm so glad you liked the scene between Remus and Sirius, too. I love your analysis of that as well because it's just what I was trying to express! And yes, it is much better than Sirius being sent to Azkaban for cries he didn't commit. Yes, I know, Alice and Frank... :(

Thanks to you for reading and for all your wonderful reviews and for being so supportive throughout! It means so much that you enjoyed this!

So much love,
Chiara


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Review #29, by marauderfanLiar: Traitors

13th June 2017:
Chiara. I'm so sorry it's taken so long! It's been a whirlwind of a few days and now I finally have a second to myself... in the airport :p So I'm sorry for any typos and for not being able to leave a very long/thorough review as I'm writing this on my phone!

OKAY SO. This is absolutely the best chapter so far. Honestly, I think it's the best chapter you've ever written. The content of this chapter breaks my heart in so many ways, but it's so powerful and effective storytelling and it's a perfect example of what I was telling you the other day on twitter, that you're an incredibly talented writer.

A lot of things that have come up in the story so far start to tie together here, just as they're all falling apart for the characters. My heart breaks for every single character here - James for finding out his family is targeted, Sirius for being the most loyal person ever and finding out someone has repaid that with selling out Order secrets, Remus for losing Dorcas right after she reaffirmed how she was going to stick with him and made him feel more human as he does this emotionally difficult task with the werewolves, and Peter... ah. I simultaneosly feel sorry for him and hate him because in the end he did choose, he had a choice, and he made selfish decisions that sold out other people. But a lot of that bad decision making stemmed from feeling like an outsider among his friends, and from the fallout with his best friend/ex. But what he did to Dorcas is inexcusable. I hope he felt horrible for that. But I love that so much of this chapter is from Peter's pov because he's definitely in the most dificult place of all of them and has the most internal struggle (even if he did put himself there to begin with) and you did such a wonderful job delving into his motivations and why and how he did what he did, in a way that explains everything.

This was so good. You should be proud. Amazing work, as usual! ♥ ♥

Author's Response: It wasn't too long, no worries! Thank you so much for stopping by! *hug*

Aww... *blushing* you are way too nice to me... sorry for breaking your heart... this breaks mine too...

I'm so glad you could feel for all the characters. They are so tragic... :(

And Peter... I understand that feeling, and I'm glad that you could still feel sorry for him while hating him. Yes, he did have a choice and he did make selfish decisions. And what he did to Dorcas is just awful... :( He did feel very, very bad for it.

But I'm glad that seeing everything from his point of view could at least explain his motives and that you could still feel for him.

Thank you so much for another amazing review, it means so much to me that you love this story so much!

Snowball hug, darling!
Chiara


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Review #30, by marauderfanParisian Scars: Parisian Scars

9th June 2017:
Copying this review so you have it here too!

Brax recommended this story so here I am. It says this is the third story in a series and what I want to know is where are the other two so I can read them ASAP because I love this ship and this story and I want more.


But anyway back to this story. Omg this line: Lavender was ready to die a hero, but she was not ready for a life as a martyr. -- This is perfect. It says so much about her just in that one line, and really sets the tone for the rest of the piece. Lavender is in such a rough place here, and you write her depression very well.


I'm especially glad you chose to write about Lavender because she's such an interesting character. All we see of her in the books through Harry's eyes is a somewhat vain, shallow girl, and here I love that you don't actually try to make her seem like a less shallow person, instead you build upon that, and it adds to the growing she has to do to overcome her current situation and makes her story so much more dynamic. To Lavender, as a shallow person who was concerned with her appearance and put a lot of importance on outer beauty, it comes as a huge blow to her that her appearance is changed in a way that's out of her control - she has to change a lot to realize that it's okay to have scars. Her misplaced blame and her self loathing here are really heartbreaking to read, but also so very believable for someone in her shoes.

The line about how emotional scars are easier to hide is a really telling one as well, as it hints about how scared she is to be vulnerable (at least how I interpret it) - she doesn't like having her faults all written across her face for everyone to see, and in that sense, she believes that emotional hurt is easier to cover with a fake smile and and act. And here in this story I feel like she's at a crossroads having to learn to think a different way, because who she was as a carefree young teenager isn't really compatible with her current life, and in that struggle she has walls up emotionally but she can't hide her physical scars. Which makes it all the more symbolic when Lavender opens the door and finally lets some of her walls down. The ending is so hopeful, with 'jasmine blooming in the darkest of times' and it's such a perfect end to this piece, hinting that this is at rock bottom for Lavender and everything else will get better from here, because Parvati's unconditional love has finally gotten through to her and Lavender is beginning to internalise that she is still loved, and it gives hope to the idea that maybe Lavender will eventually understand that the scars on her face don't define her. A perfect touch of hope to lighten the angst.


You did such a wonderful job handling all of Lavender's various emotions in this story, the buildup of this emotional and physical wall she has aroud herself, and and the moment with her and Parvati at the end was so beautifully cathartic as she finally begins the process of emotional healing. Parvati is so good for Lavender, and I'm glad she persisted until she was able to get through to Lavender. It gives me hope that someday they will indeed go to Paris and live out their dreams. :)

I'm sorry I got a bit long-winded here :P but I can absolutely see why Brax said this story was so good! Reallly well done and now I know I need to check out some more of your work. This was beautiful writing.

Author's Response: I don't know what to say about this review apart from I feel so lucky to receive it?

I really love Lavender as a character, I like to build upon what we see in canon about her but explain it as some of her behaviour seems plain crazy at points which bothers me. I think she's got so much scope as a character so I'm glad you enjoyed on my take on how she copes with that.

Parvati was always going to be part of Lavender's story but I knew she was going to be on the other side of the door but it developed quickly into a romantic connection but Parvati's love is amazing for Lavender.

I'm a sucker for a happy ending but this piece was me trying to write angst but I found it challenging so I couldn't resist having a hopeful tone into the story because I love her too much. Her experiences can't be washed away so easily though but I'm glad that the balance worked. Meera is too kind but thank you for checking out my story! I'm still squealing over your thoughtful comments!

- Abbi xo



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Review #31, by marauderfanThe Harder They Fall: Immortal

24th May 2017:
OMG YES NEW CHAPTER

I am already hyperventilating at seeing the title to this chapter. And the quote that starts it off. You're really worrying me here.

And the first paragraph too about the song of the death of someone's lover. You are not being subtle with these hints AND I AM VERY WORRIED ABOUT THESE TWO LOVEBIRDS. don't kill off these precious cinnamon rolls please

That he had condemned an innocent girl to danger to save someone else. -- WAIT, HE DID THAT? FINN I AM SO MAD AT YOU

He was doing the right thing. -- NO HE IS NOT. FINN. YOU DID A BAD THING

I am still annoyed at Finn but golly gee those two are adorable dancing on the mountain. Please let them just stay up there forever where you can't harm them anymore.

The resurrection stone! AHHH IT'S HERO! WOW PLOT TWIST. I didn't anticipate that at all. This scene is kind of heartbreaking because she's there, but not there. That can't be easy for Finn, especially as it's just more of a reminder that she's not there. And she tried to warn him! D: I'm just glad she was able to say as much as she did before she was interrupted.

Also Tom is going to be so paranoid when he realizes that his jacket is missing and with it one of his Horcruxes...

Because I think it will go with my outfit. -- omg Finn XD

And once again you end a chapter in the most ominous way. Aah! I'm dying to know. Pardon the morbid humour because at this point in the story I'm worried about everyone and have suspicions they're going to die. This story is so good aksdflksjdf. great chapter!

P.S. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
.
.
.
.
Because it was two tired

Author's Response: KRISTIN! You are first and amazing and I love you.

Why do you think I'll kill all the cinnamon rolls? Does that sound like something I would do? ;)

Oh, stop it, you.

Thank you so much for the review! :D x


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Review #32, by marauderfanLiar: Fighters

23rd May 2017:
The library is about to close so I can't leave a very long review, I'm sorry :( But I had to pounce on this as soon as I could after I saw it was posted!

Mad-Eye wouldve made grocery shopping sound dangerous. -- YES HE WOULD HAVE hahaha this is so funny.

Aww :( I mean I get that Peter can speak for himself, but Remus was only trying to help. Then again, that's probably a sore spot for Peter who's probably been talked over for his whole life. :-/

That must take so much for Remus to be able to face that kind of life, especially since he's been shunning the side of him that's a werewolf for so long, trying so hard to be 'normal', that facing the dark side of that, so to speak, and actually living with a colony of werewolves including the one who turned him, must be so hard emotionally. I'm glad he has Dorcas to lean on at least.

AND HE HAS TO DEAL WITH JERKS LIKE LEANDER. Omg, can I punch him please

Okay, I get that Leander's job puts him in a tough position but STILL. he can be less of a jerk.

Aw, Mary. It must be kind of bittersweet for her to see Lily so happy and getting married... to someone else. But the moment with her and Peter was really sweet as they learned that they have something in common.

THE CLIFF HANGER OMG IS THAT VOLDEMORT OR A DEATH EATER. HELP.

This was a great chapter and I loved it so much and I love you so much and you are amazing. Also, you are an amazing writer. Library is closing so I have to go! ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: KRISTIN!!! I love you!!! I know I tell you all the time, but it still doesn't feel often enough... :P

So, first, sorry for taking such an abysmal time to answer this! And your review is wonderful as always, you have nothing to apologize for. *hug*

Ahahah! Moody would, wouldn't he? Glad you found that line funny! :D

I know... Remus only wanted to help... but from Peter's perspective it showed that Remus didn't see him as strong enough and pitied him, and that's something that Peter would hate more than anything.

Yes, poor Remus... that's really so hard for him... :(

And Leander... well... yes, he is a bit of a jerk, but it isn't really his fault, either...

Mary is such a sweety! I guess it was a bit bittersweet for her... glad you found that moment between her and Peter sweet.

Well, you know what happens next, so I don't really need to answer, right? Poor Peter, though...

Thank you so much for your lovely review! *wub*


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Review #33, by marauderfanWhy Everyone Should Hate Coffee Creams: ---

20th May 2017:
Brax! I'm here for our swap! First, my apologies for any typos as I'm writing this review on my phone.

Okay but now to business: this is brilliant. The fact that it's about Tom and Merope lured me in from the start, because so few people ever write about either of them and this just seemed like such an original idea. What I was not expecting was the light-hearted, whimsical tone of this. All the hilariously serious similes in the begining about rocks! The descriptions of Mr and Mrs Ruddle and how he grabs his collarbone in a dramatic show of how upset he is, and how she goes from 100% calm to fainting and wailing about smelling salts in about 3 seconds. And despite that it's a kind of serious subject matter (I was expecting a story full of angst) it's just so much fun to read.

Despite that the story doesn't take itself too seriously, it's also not too over the top, which can be a delicate balance to strike but you did it perfectly. I also forever will imagine Mr and Mrs Riddle in the way you described them, since i had kind of a blank headcanon for them before. :p Tom's discovery that he was 'in love' with Merope was well written too, and even though it's kind of silly and seems like one of those moments in a musical when someone stands up to sing their feeligns (sidenote, why didn't Tom do that :P ) it also seemed exactly how someone would react under the influence of a love potion -they'd be acting sort of dramatically anyway. long story short this was perfect.

I can't believe I'd never read anything by you before! I'm going to be stalking your AP sometme soon :p

Omg, and then Frank and the hedgehog waiting for Merope at the end XD this was such a fun read & thanks so much for the swap!

Author's Response: Marauderfan, you write such lovely reviews! Thank you so much for the swap; I'd happily swap stories again with you any time! I'm really glad you enjoyed this story. I tried not to go overboard caricaturing the Riddles, but my headcanon for them was slightly ridiculous. I so wish I'd incorporated the sudden appearance of a fifty-piece orchestra and a song when Tom declared his love for Merope - that would have been a splendid addition!

Brax X


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Review #34, by marauderfanThe Harder They Fall: No Rest for the Wicked

16th May 2017:
I loved the discussion between Ben and Finn. Finn has grown up so much. At first in this story at the beginning, he was an arrogant pest 98% of the time and a cinnamon roll the other 2%, but now I think he's at 10% jerk and 90% cinnamon roll. Like, I'm sure he's still goign to say dumb selfish things every now and then but he has come SO FAR and is so much kinder and he's gained a lot of sympathy. Old Finn would have had a wildly different reaction to Ben coming out. But here, they both have this sort of camaraderie now that they didn't have before, that they both love people they'd be judged for by anyone else, and they're both afraid of Tom, and it seems to bring them closer together.

I'm betting Dumbledore isn't actually allergic to any chocolate, but he saw that Radbourne was terrified while offering him chocolate and Tom was standing right there, and he just put things together that way :P Smart.

FINN AND BRINDLEY IN THE GREENHOUSE ♥♥♥♥

Id rather spend a few days with you, he said quietly, than years with anyone else. -- ASDKJFLAKSDJFLKAJSDLKJFASDKF *melts* THIS IS SO ADORABLE AND I HAVE SO MANY FEELS IT'S KILLING ME SEND HELP

Lol at Tom saying love doesn't have any power or start wars. I'm pretty sure it's started a whole lot more wars than anything else :P

Oof... so I have an unpleasant theory about the last line. I don't think he sold out that fourth year, and I don't think he's going to say it's Brindley (unless we're getting into some solid Orwell/1984 type stuff here). I think he's going to say it's himself. I don't know why, I just have this bad feeling. I'm glad he's not sending either of the girls to their doom but FINN WATCH OUT, you can't outsmart Grindelwald and HELP THIS WILL NOT GO WELL. Omg, I'm panicking for him AND THERE'S NO NEXT CHAPTER PLEASE FIX THIS ASAP

THIS WAS A GREAT CHAPTER. SO AMAZING THAT I HAVE TO EXPRESS MYSELF IN CAPSLOCK ONLY

I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE SO TALENTED. Speaking of which, congrats on winning all of the awards with this story!

Author's Response: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I TOO CAN ONLY EMOTE IN CAPSLOCK. Seriously. Thank you ♥

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Review #35, by marauderfanThe Harder They Fall: The Beginning of the End

16th May 2017:
I missed this when it was first posted, so I'm (finally) here now to remedy that!


N O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O

I mean I saw it coming but still NO O O O O

that kind of sums up all I have to say. You know why.

And geez, as much as I appreciate Finn finally growing a backbone and standing up for Brindley when Ben was filling the room with smoke, and how he genuinely wants to save Brindley, hurting an innocent little fourth year is not the way to do it. omg. he is in such a horrible situation and there are no good choices and I just hope he doesn't do it. there has to be another way!

Author's Response: I do know why ;)

Thank you my love ♥


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Review #36, by marauderfanEternity : I

9th March 2017:
Zayne - this story is awesome. I can't believe I hadn't found it before now, but I was doing some reading of Puff stories for the Chalices (new Hufflepuff awards at hpft) and found this and I absolutely love it. You start it off so perfectly - really calm, but something's clearly off about Seamus, until you gradually revealed what it was. And his friendship with Dean that has literally transcended their lifetime. AWWW ♥ this was perfect.

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Review #37, by marauderfanLiar: Adults

9th March 2017:
You're right, I was going to get to this :D but thank you for the request! I'm so happy to see another update on this story!

Aah, not even one sentence into this chapter and already my heart is breaking for Remus for having to wear the band on his arm marking him as a werewolf, which is honestly terrifying as that's very reminiscent of Hitler's demands for Jews, and... some other politicians these days. Despite being about werewolves and magic, this story is very relevant.

OMG ALL OF THIS CHAPTER ♥ IT'S SO GOOD. I love the way the girls are sticking up for Remus and the way can see past the way the Ministry is trying to stir up fear, and instead want to help the people who get marginalized and are unfairly singled out.

OMG TOM NO

NO

This is so REAL.

Severance pay is not charity. He's gonna need that. But I also admire him for not taking anything from Tom, because ultimately it was Tom's decision to let Remus go. Tom could have fought the system, like Dorcas is doing, but he chose not to.

Omg, and then the juxtaposition of this and the next section - Remus thinks the world is screwed up because it is. Peter thinks the world is screwed up because Dumbledore picked James for Head Boy. I mean... :P it says a lot about his privilege right there.

YES REMUS STAND UP TO THE DUMB LAW. I love that he just refuses to wear the band. He's right, it would look pretty awful if the Ministry threw him in Azkaban for not wearing a bracelet.

I like that Dorcas is helping Remus move on from Peter, even if their relationship is starting off a bit weird (i.e. Remus is still in love with Peter). But if Dorcas is fine with that, then I guess they're all good. It's nice that Remus knows someone else likes him, he needs the reminder that he's worthy of being liked and appreciated.

Though I also worry that you're setting them up together because I know what happens to Dorcas eventually and Remus DOES NOT NEED THAT on top of everything else he deals with. ah, all the feels. help

omg and then right from there to Lily thinking about her parents' funeral. Too many feels. And the bit where she thinks if she'd been there she could have done something - that's so true to life, how there's that stage of grief where you believe things that don't necessarily make sense just because the grief is hard to process. Poor Lily :( And with James going through a similar thing... it's so true, grief does have a way of bringing people together.

I know Fawkes' molting isn't that common (or is it?) but part of me kind of loves the fact that both James and later Harry ended up witnessing it :)

It really says a lot for Mary that she declined, especially in front of a bunch of people who all accepted. Like, yes, it's scary to be in the Order, but it does take courage to do what she's doing, in a way.

Bravo for Remus turning the discriminatory wristband around and wearing it as a badge of honor.

This whole chapter carries a strong feeling of endings and new beginnings and all the uncertainty that come with both - and it's very appropriate given that they're finishing with school and heading into something dangerous, like there's a lot to celebrate and a lot to fear at the same time, but they just make the best of it. I really liked the tone throughout the whole thing.

CC: at one point you said 'carrier' when I think you meant 'career' (they sound really similar, but the first is a thing that carries something.. like a cat carrier)

Ok that's it, this review somehow got really long and I'm sorry for when you have to respond to it :P I loved this chapter and it was amazing and so are you. ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: Kristin!!! *wub* *wub* *wub*

Yes, that's horrible... I did have Hitler's racial laws in mind... To be honest, I was scared that I was pulling it too far, but I'm glad you found it believable!

The girls are awesome! :D

Poor Remus... Tom could've fought the system, but not everyone is brave and strong enough to do so...

Ahahah! Peter has a much lighter way of seeing things, that's for sure. :P (But you have to agree, Dumbledore's choice was quite crazy)

Yes! Go, Remus! That would look pretty awful, indeed.

Remus needs that reminder... Erm... yeah... that might not end too well... I'm sorry... (I'm just a tiny bit cruel to my characters, I know...)

You always wonder if you could've done anything, don't you? I still can't shake that guilt... but yes, grief does bring people together.

Oh, I have no idea... after you asked I googled what's a bird's life expectancy... it varies a lot from species to species, so it's hard to tell (you probably know better than I do... :P) Anyway, I'm glad you liked the idea that James and Harry had that in common.

I think it did require a lot of courage from Mary (a courage Peter didn't have, for instance). Glad you liked that about her.

That was the theme of the chapter, and I'm glad it came out well and that you liked the tone of it. We'll see how things will go from there.

Oh... I will fix that. In Italian is "carriera", so I guess that's why I mixed them up. Thank you for pointing it out.

Ahahah! No review is too long, I love your reviews! Sorry for taking so long to answer, by the way...

You are amazing! Thank you so, so, so much!!!

Snowball hug,
Chiara


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Review #38, by marauderfanProphecy Misinterpreted: Prophecy Misinterpreted

8th March 2017:
Hi! I'm here from HPFT with your requested review! (I'm Stella Blue over there)

What an great opening section - you set the scene really well with the radio on and all the news that identifies the era in which this is all happening. And the couple definitely have me intrigued. At first they seem like just a normal husband and wife, but then it turns out it was Aaron's job to move to Hungary and blend in so well that he must get married as well. I feel so sorry for Luca, as she probably has no idea :( I'd kind of love to know more about their backstory, and what happens to her. What about when Aaron's job has finished? It's like Luca has years of her life taken away. I know she doesn't come up again in the story, but I'm still really curious about her, and about Aaron as well. Maybe you should write a spin-off story about those two :P I'd totally read it, though I suspect it would be quite sad!

It seems that in this fic, the main focus is the prophecy and the interpretation of it, rather than the characters. So we see little snippets of the characters' lives - it's not a lot, but what you do let on is so powerful, that it's enough to make me curious about them and want to know if things got better for them! I was so sad when I realized what Jenkins was asking of Iesha, and wondered what Iesha eventually decided (if she was given a choice?) Poor Iesha, that's an awful thing to have to face.

And Remus as well - that definitely caught me by surprise, only ten years old and having to do an unbreakable vow, and about something so serious! That probably shouldn't even be legal. Poor guy, this whole thing must have been so over his head. Which brings me to another point - the Minister for Magic, Jenkins, is a really interesting character, considering what she asks of people. It's kind of like she is focused on 'the greater good', in how she's trying to save the continent from a dark wizard and sacrifices the needs of indivduals to a bigger cause. And that's interesting because, you know, objectively she's doing a good thing- protecting her country from a dark wizard, but do the ends justify the means? How far would she go to save her country from a dark wizard? So I really liked that philosophical quandary that this character brings up, especially, when they were working towards the wrong goal all along. It made me think a lot so I appreciated it :)

I don't want to forget to mention how much I loved that you wove some Hungarian in here - the language, and some Hungarian characters - because HP is pretty heavily focussed on England and Scotland, so it's really refreshing to see the wizarding world in other places, and how far the prophecy stretched and how many places were impacted, and just to see some of how the wizarding world works in Hungary.

In terms of constructive criticism:
The beginning sections kind of hop around a lot, and while this isn't necessarily a problem, it didn't seem to tie into the story later on. And then the last section is much longer, but still contains some jumping around between Iesha and Jenkins' conversation, and Eileen and Lyall - with the dialogue one after the other I couldn't tell if they were all in a group, or two simultaneous conversations. One thing you can do to avoid confusion here that I'd suggest is to add a line or two of transition between scenes whenever you're switching scenes, or maybe adding a line or two in the later section that references what happened in the beginning so those first pieces don't seem like standalone segments.

Also, I know you mentioned English isn't your first language, and considering that, you do a wonderful job of conveying your ideas. There are a few typos/small grammar issues, but fortunately this can be easily fixed - there's a subforum on hpft where you can request a beta, and they can help with all the little English grammar things.

Last but not least, your final line is PERFECT. Ahh, I've got chills!

I hope this was helpful! Overall I really enjoyed reading this, and thanks for the request.

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review! You say so many positive things, it almost feels like I don't deserve it - you definitely made my day happier :D

As for Luca I don't really have it planned what happens to her. I could make something up now, but I prefer to leave it open for now. I'm so happy you like the little snippets of the characters, this was my intention to give just a glimpse of who they are. And there are ethical issues in there - thank you for pointing that out.

Your comment on the jumps between the conversations between Iesha - Jenkins, and Eileen and Lyall is fair, I myself had a problem when writing this section, but couldn't figure out how to solve it. I will go see if by adding a line or two it can be solved. I already got a very helpful beta reader, so I hope to get this and the English fixed soon.


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Review #39, by marauderfanWhen I Go Out With You: Maybe I Know

1st March 2017:
I love this chapter so, so much. I loved Hannah's rant about the patriarchy. I love that you point out such important truths about our society in such a fun way, i.e. while they're all eating ice cream together and Neville accidentally gets strawberry in Hannah's hair, you point out how people judge what they don't understand, but if they don't know the story they'll rationalize it into what fits into their worldview (i.e. the people who'd just see Hannah and Susan as friends) - which is totally true in a heteronormative society. And most of all, how people aren't really thinking about Hannah and co. as much as she assumes they are, as Susan points out. People focus on their own selves and aren't thinking about you as much as you imagine they are, so be who you are because other people's fleeting judgement doesn't matter. How do you fit such deep ideas into 600 words? You're incredible. Anyway, this chapter has a great message. Lovely work ♥

PS, I love the first line (after the song), about the daisy chain, that's such a creative description.

Author's Response: Eep a review already? Thank you Kristin!

I am really glad you liked this and felt that it covered a lot of interesting ideas without feeling crammed! I normally write these chapters in one sitting but because I started this one in November and just finished it I wasn't convinced it felt as cohesive as it should so I'm very thankful for your feedback.

Hehe I like the daisy chain line too and am glad it's not just me =)

Thanks again! ♥
Sam.


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Review #40, by marauderfanNot My Intention: The First Victims

20th February 2017:
Hi! I'm here with your review from HPFT! (I'm Stella Blue over there, btw)

Hogwarts Era is actually my favourite so I'm pretty excited about this, even if you've not written much Hogwarts Era before. And honestly I don't see a lot of fics set in Hogwarts immediately after the war so I'm really looking forward to what you're going to do with that. It's nice to see this story through Ginny's eyes, too.

The first section of the story - Ginny talking about Fred's death - is so, so relatable, how sometimes when someone dies you can't really reconcile the fact that they're dead, and keep thinking they're just not here today, but it's something final like that that really drives the point home, and I thought that section was powerful, so well done. However, it doesn't 100% seem to fit with the rest of the chapter - if you added a bit of a transition between that section and the next, (like how that affects her starting a new year at Hogwarts?) it would be a lot less choppy overall.

"Is there anyone else?" Luna asked. -- This is PERFECT. This is the most Luna-ish question - like, it's kind of a weird thing to ask, as if Ginny's going on a massive spree of matchmaking, but Luna's not judgemental about asking, and just wants to help Ginny. You've totally nailed that balance of peculiar and practical that is so very Luna. :D And I thought her reaction to the outcome of Ginny's first attempt, getting Ron and Hermione together, was perfect - not particularly emotional about it, just interested in a sort of 'hmm look at that' way.

So yeah, that line was great, and I'll just take a moment to say that you do really well writing Luna overall. I know how difficult it is to capture her voice and particular mannerisms, and you did a wonderful job with her here. Ron was spot on too- it's very believable that he'd hold onto his grudge against Malfoy for... probably forever. :P I also like that Hermione called Crabbe and Goyle 'rocks'. I just found it really amusing for some reason - and also sounds like the type of insult Hermione would use. :P

Draco is definitely a changed person, but he seems awkward about it, like he's not sure who to be anymore now that he doesn't have 'those two rocks' hanging around him all the time and now that his father is disgraced/in Azkaban and the Death Eaters lost. And probably he wouldn't be that popular around Hogwarts, so he's trying to be nice. But he doesn't know how. It's certainly an interesting change and it makes a lot of sense considering how much his life has just changed. I'm looking forward to seeing more of him.

Long story short, your characterization of everyone is great :D

The one thing I'd want to comment on in terms of concrit is the pacing, particularly with Ginny's feelings. Knowing her temperament, I'm a bit surprised that she's so quick to change her tune about Malfoy after the one conversation. It's like she let go of her family's grudge against him almost instantly, which at least to me seemed a bit fast. I know this is eventually to be a Ginny/Draco story, so I get that you're trying to lead in that direction, but I think a slower process might be more believable - like she might just think this was a one off occurrence at first.

As another example, she also jumps from sadly wondering if Harry still loves her, to planning to set up Harry and Luna. Did she get over Harry that fast? I'd love to see a bit more development of this, as long-held feelings often take time to change. But of course, this is just my 2 cents and your story is yours to pace how you want it.

Ah, I feel like this review is a bit heavy on the CC but I want you to know that I did really enjoy this chapter, and I love the idea of Harry/Luna - I could totally see them working as a ship, even if it is unusual. Unusual ships are the beauty of fanfiction. :)

I hope this review was helpful! Great work on this story so far. I look forward to reading more :)

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks so much for a wonderful long review :D

I'm glad the characterisation worked out, because my characters being OOC is something I always worry about. Particularly Luna, since she has a character that stands out so people can tell if something is uncharacteristic of her.

Ginny was supposed to be trying to get over Fred's death and distracting herself, hence the beginning. But yeah, now that I think about it, it doesn't seem to fit in very well. I'll keep that in mind in the future :)

Ah, pacing. I try to keep things slow but I always forget what it's like if you're the reader who knows nothing about the story. I just get ahead of myself, which is probably why my novella ended 10 chapters earlier than I had planned :P

But I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for this review, it was super helpful. I'll be sure to keep all your feedback in mind when writing the next chapter for this :D



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Review #41, by marauderfanIn This Darkness: Chapter Two: Quarrels for Dinner

19th February 2017:
Hi! Here with your review from HPFT!

The explanation of how Harry ended up in his old family home is perfect. I think both Harry and Ginny are perfectly characterized here in what they would want in a house.

Xander is reading about Grindelwald and finds it interesting... which sends alarms up because why does he find it interesting? Is he interested in what Grindelwald was trying to do, due to the dark magic that's dormant in him? Or, I suppose, he could just be reading it because he thinks Grindelwald's story is fascinating, which is true, so this motivation wouldn't be a problem. But I love that you introduced 17-year-old Xander in this way, because it continues the questions from the first chapter of whether he'll go one way or the other, whether he'll be swayed into dark magic or if his upbringing instilled different values in him.

Also I don't know if I mentioned in the previous chapter but it's SO like Harry to adopt/take care of a child in a tough situation - probably due to Harry's own childhood experiences, but it's very believable that he would have taken Xander in.

Her mother had passed away over three years ago, -- OMG. OUCH. I can't believe you dropped this so casually like BTW GINNY IS DEAD and my heart just broke a little. I was not prepared for that. What happened to her? I hope we get to find out in a future chapter!

Anyway in response to your questions, I think this chapter works really well as a follow up to the first chapter. Xander is presented in a similar context where it's kind of interesting trying to figure him out, and given what Harry said about his kids who were Xander's age in the previous chapter, it's great to see this chapter of how things actually turned out.

I think you've done really well characterizing Lily, as well - I already have a fairly good idea of what sort of person she is. Her characterization is pretty consistent throughout the chapter, too, which is good. Also, this portrayal of her is believable - she's got a hotheaded streak that is reminiscent of both of her parents, and she's also kind of spoiled which is understandable as she's the youngest child and only girl in a rather wealthy family, and it makes sense that Harry would be prone to spoiling his children a little considering the miserable childhood he had with the Dursleys. And I like that you mentioned how she admires Teddy, as that ties in with what we saw of her in the DH epilogue.

CC:
It was a splendid looking house, with three floors, open spaces, impressive chandeliers and expensive furniture -- I like that you're describing the scene here in the Potter Manor and I can already get an image in my mind of what it looks like. However, one thing that might make your description stronger is to use more specific adjectives, and show rather than tell. What I mean is this: why is the chandelier impressive? Is it multi-tiered, made of brass with crystal hanging from it? Or is it gold? Or a more rustic looking material? Same with the furniture - what makes it expensive? Is it, for example, mahogany? Teak? Basically, the more specific your descriptions are, the more effective they will be, and rather than telling the reader that something is beautiful/impressive/etc, show them why. :)

Since they had started dating six months ago, -- here it might be helpful to clarify who the 'they' is in this instance (I believe it's Scorpius and Rose, but I had to read it over a couple times before figuring it out)

This was a really good chapter and I'm curious what happened to Ginny, and whether Xander and Lily do enjoy each other's company once in a while (will they play Quidditch?) How does the rest of the family feel about Harry dating again? And though I've seen little glimpses into what Albus and James are like, I'd love to get to know them better in upcoming chapters. Basically this chapter has me very interested in reading more. :)

I enjoyed this chapter! This is shaping up to be a great story - wonderful work on this.

Author's Response: Xander reading about Grindewald… You’re right on point on all accounts. He does find Grindewald’s story fascinating because he is but also there’s probably a part of him that finds an allure in the dark arts. Whether he is swayed or stays true to the values Harry and Ginny instilled in him will a major reoccurring question throughout the story.
I’m so sorry to have dropped Ginny’s death like that! The reasoning behind her death was the effect it had on her children, as well as on Xander. I debated spending more time on it, but I figured the importance was not the death itself so much as the later effects. However, it will be touched upon later on!
I wanted to take what I could from the epilogue when I wrote the next-gen kids and also make them my own. A lot of times, I feel like they are portrayed as being these perfect teenagers with great grades, witty minds and good looks. I wanted Lily to feel a little more real. There’s Harry and Ginny in her, but there’s also a lot of faults that her own. She had a lot of growing to do.
I appreciate your CC! I have trouble describing things sometimes (a lot of times, er.) but I’m going to try adding specific adjectives to hopefully spice things up a bit more.
You will see James and Albus again later! I didn’t really get to develop them in this chapter because I wanted the focus on Lily and Xander, but they’ll be around! Xander and Lily’s relationship with each other is a complicated one. I hope their relationship does translate the way I envision it too!
Thank you for reviewing chapter two! You are always so wonderful and helpful!


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Review #42, by marauderfanIn This Darkness: Chapter One: The Beginning

15th February 2017:
Hi! I'm here with your request from HPFT. Sorry about the delay!

Can I just say that I LOVE your first sentence. It's kind of quirky, much like the wizarding world itself, and in fact it kind of reminds me of the first sentence of the very first HP book in its matter-of-fact-ness.

But youre the chosen one, argued Mason. The only one Rousell truly feared. -- This is interesting. There's definitely some similarities to Dumbledore and Voldemort here as well, and I'm wondering if Roussell is going to become the next big Dark Wizard. I guess it's been a while since the last one, so :P

Yikes, I did not expect the boy to suddenly whip an Unforgivable Curse out of nowhere. How did he even learn that - and especially to be powerful enough to actually cast an effective Crucio? That must be so scary - even despite that he doesn't like Mr Chapman Harry probably can't just sit and watch that. And then it turns out that the boy was just protecting Harry (or so he says). I'm not sure who to believe haha! But I don't think the boy would be so manipulative and evil at 6, so I'm inclined to think he's telling the truth. Though you never know. I bet Voldemort was still evil at 6.

I think the parallels you have here are really interesting. It seems like you have a lot of room to explore the idea of nature vs nurture, and I'm not sure if that's where you're going with this haha, but it's just what I was thinking about as I read. Xander comes from a family of dark magic, and as such he's got some natural talent at dark magic, but it remains to be seen what effect that will have on his personality. So far, all we've seen of him is that he's scared and that he's powerful, but being adopted by Harry and Ginny will definitely give him a more nurturing environment and I'm curious to see how he turns out. And how Xander's knowledge of his family and past will affect him, when he learns of it, and how he feels about the fact that a memory charm was used to erase part of his childhood memory.

So yes, in response to your questions on your request - it does bring up a lot of questions and interesting ideas, and it made perfect sense to me. The only hole I found was the fact that Harry seems to have gotten an owl from Detroit to the UK, and considering an owl is not a seabird, I don't know how it would have made that long of a flight. (Maybe that's a kind of weird thing for me to point out but that's what I noticed :P )

Some little fixes:
Mason Chapman, chasier and owner -- probably meant to say 'cashier'?

The bells attached to the handle gave a lazy rung -- I think that should be 'ring' instead of rung. When used as a noun, rung is a step on a ladder ;)

Overall though, this is a really great introductory chapter and sets up your story effectively. It definitely grabs the attention and makes me wonder what happens in the future!

Wonderful work on this. :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your wonderful review!

I wanted to show just how extreme Xander's character could potentially be from the very beginning - to show that there was enough power and enough hate for him to a pull curse like that.

I definitely want to play with the parallels a bit, so I'm glad you caught on to that. Nature vs nurture will also be a reoccurring theme. I wanted to him to be a six year old child to be able to present him as someone who already has a past, but to also allow his formative years to be spent at the Potter's. All of this will come into play later.

The owl question... I hadn't even thought about it, and it's an excellent question! There's definitely some logistics I need to work through hehe

Thank you for the fixes! I've gone back and made those corrections.

Thank you again for this review! It was so detailed, and I appreciate the time you took to write it more than you know!


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Review #43, by marauderfanThe 'Savior' Thing: James

31st January 2017:
Dear Jayde,

You are amazing. I'm still taking about 4 million years to respond to your email, but I thought I'd stop by with a little review to remind you that you are a talented writer.

This was so cute! I love the way you write Ginny as a Mum, and how despite her frustration she's so patient as she tries to convince James to let her heal his knee! And James seemed so realistic too. I was terrified of pain at that age too and I remember never wanting any of my scrapes cleaned up and bandaged because I thought they'd hurt :P so yeah, you write a really wonderful and believable 5 year old James and I can see this scene so clearly in my mind.

And Harry at the end! Hahaha, he absolutely does have a Saving-People-Thing, and noticeably has since he was 15 and Hermione pointed it out. The fact that he panicked for a second and ran upstairs when he heard a scream only to find it was James overreacting to a healing spell, that is so precious XD I loved this! What a cute little moment. And btw, I can't believe this is your first time writing next gen, it reads so naturally, like you've been writing these characters forever. Wonderful work ♡

Author's Response: Aw, Kristin!! ♥ Thank you SO much for doing this!! It really means a lot! And no worries about the email, take your time!

Thank you! *blushes* I'm so flattered that you like how I write Ginny as a Mum - I personally think she'd be an amazing one, judging by who her Mum is. :P GAH! I'm happy you think James was believable also! You're drowning me in compliments and it's making me want to squee!! ♥

Hahha, yes, Harry really does have a "Savior" thing, it was actually mentioned once in the series by Hermione as you mentioned, so I just kind of had to play on that here. I honestly think you might be the FIRST person who's remembered that bit from the series! Eeeek! Stahhpp with the compliments, you're making my ego swell. XD I'm just a flailing pile on the floor right now, this review has just made me smile so much and has seriously made my day - this is the first time I've checked my account in a while, and I really think I was meant to find this today, if that makes any sense. I'm honestly near tears because I'm so happy and flattered. THANK YOU!! I'm so happy you enjoyed it!


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Review #44, by marauderfanThe Harder They Fall: A Snake in the Den

31st January 2017:
REVIEW TAG HI I LOVE YOU

But in these last ones Harry tells her to be careful of this man, who they just call G. -- G...rindelwald? He's the only person I can think of who people should be wary of whose name also starts with a G. But is he too early? After all this letter is from like 16 years ago. I guess I'll just read on and find out :P

Brindley was Henry Potters illegitimate child. -- I CALLED IT! :D Though I must say you did an admirable job of making me second guess myself into thinking it was potentially Sebastian.

Also, poor Finn. Talk about something to really make you reevaluate your whole life. He's been trying to figure this out for a while, and then the information just falls into his lap and it's something he doesn't like, because over the past few months he's gotten to know Brindley and started to like her. But it says a lot about how much he's changed, that his first thought is that he can save Brindley, unlike how he couldn't save his sister or his father.

Tom doesn't miss anything. He saw Finn's indecision for like 2 seconds and has probably figured it all out.

Finn is literally giving himself a fake injury so he can go see Brindley in the hospital wing. Is he still trying to say he doesn't care about her? Is that the story he's going with? Because...

Also, all the secret conversations they have with one another while they're pretending not to notice one another. I bet they're actually super obvious.

Brindley saying she'd never been to the area with the barrels (aka the entrance to her own common room) and then making Finn say a fake password to a barrel... ahahaha this is magical and hilarious and Finn talked to a barrel.

THEY ARE MAKING A BLANKET FORT OMG also wizard blanket forts sound way more sophisticated than Muggle ones. Like you don't have to have all the stuff in the middle that holds the blankets up because magic.

Did he just accidentally and very non subtly call her an angel? Yep, he did. I'm enjoying this but also waiting for the part where Saffron is bound to walk in and be like "Yo I told you to come right back out of this room so what are you doing."

But thank you for keeping Saffron out of the room because that blanket fort scene/the kiss was amazing and I loved it. And Finn has so many feelings to sort through. I wonder what the repercussions of that night will be though - how it will change Finn and Brindley's relationship, and what Lucretia will do now that she knows Finn likes Brindley.

Ah, this was such a great chapter! ♥ Loved it!

Author's Response: Hahaha thank you! ♥

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Review #45, by marauderfanThe Next Great Adventure: Chapter 7: A Lonely Home

30th January 2017:
Kaitlin ♥ I'm sorry I don't have the time to write you a long review right now, but I wanted to make sure you at least got a review so you'll know that I read and loved this chapter. And to let you know that I can't believe you ended the chapter there! What is outside? I must know! :P

But honestly, I think the idea of Snape trapped inside for the afterlife is kind of perfect, because in a metaphorical sense he was always kind of trapped in his real life, unable to move on. It's been so consistent of his character throughout his whole life that he holds on to things and can't move forward, whether it's the bitterness he has about his family, or his feelings for Lily, or his hatred of James - these are things that stuck with him for his whole life so it seemed very fitting that he ended up stuck in that room. Now that he's dead, he's forced to hold on to things as he did in his life - or maybe the room is holding on to him? Anyway, it was really well thought out and I kind of feel bad for him because it's a horrible thing to imagine - being stuck in a house for a week is bad, but 80 years? yikes.

I wonder if he's not passed his afterlife test, because he couldn't move on. After all, one would think that this experience would give him at least some empathy for Sirius who was stuck inside for so long during the second Order - but Snape would never, even if he understood that feeling of being stuck, he would never even want to feel any sort of sympathy for someone he hated even 100 years ago in a different life. He's very much inside his own head and always has been to an extent, and I think it will take some much needed perspective (like, for example - Harry showing up and maybe talking to him) to get Snape out of there.

I'm really loving the way you bring so many characters into this and show what different characters experience after they die, and kind of how it reflects on their life. This is such an interesting story. Great chapter :)

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Review #46, by marauderfanHourglass: 3 years 31 days

26th January 2017:
Another review for you! I remember reading a few chapters of this quite a while ago, and I loved it, so I'm excited to be getting back into it!

I'm really concerned about Albus' mystery scar that doesn't seem to be caused by magic yet he can't recall ever getting. I mean, I understand finding a bruise and not knowing its origin but a SCAR? that's kind of a big deal, and I can't blame Albus for being worried about it. Also, his memory! You built that up really well, like in earlier chapters it wasn't that serious or mentioned much, but you've subtly added onto it until here Albus is at breakfast and has no idea how he got there. I love how you're building up the mystery to this story and I can't wait to see how everything connects. If it connects? I don't know. I'm full of questions and it's great because this story just stays so interesting.

I'm curious about the love potion incident and whether that girl has anything to do with the note. Is she DLZ? And I'm still wondering about the familiar girl from his dream that he doesn't actually know.

Poor Sophie, too. The girl has it bad, and I know Albus is saying he's not leading her on, but... he so is.

Sidenote: I love that you mentioned the potions class moved up to an airier classroom. THANK YOU. I can't believe I haven't come across this in other fics before but honestly the dungeon with no ventilation makes NO SENSE for a class where you're boiling weird ingredients that produces fumes. So yes, thank you for thinking of health and safety haha.

Another great chapter! I'm so glad to be back reading this :)

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Review #47, by marauderfanConstellations: Constellations

25th January 2017:
Hi Gina! I'm here from your wishlist - even though the wishlists are now closed, I wanted to make sure I still gave you a gift!

Aw, this story really is wonderful and I can't believe it doesn't have more reviews! I love the way you set it up, first of all - the fact that you styled it after a triptych, the smaller parts the 'before' and the 'after' and then the middle part of the story is where she has to make her decision. The names of each section work perfectly as well. Vampires, obsessed with blood, such a perfect way to describe Andromeda's family! And there's kind of a double symbolism in the Devils and Angels titles as well. Devils could be the mudbloods, as Andromeda thinks of them in the beginning, or it could be what she later realizes is her toxic family. Similarly, Angels is her new family and the love she has found there - or representing the departed souls, so to speak, of her husband and daughter. Anyway yeah that was really well thought out!

On to the actual story - wow. You use some really beautiful language - I love this line in particular: Andromeda was preoccupied with the gentle hiss of air leaking from her previously faultless image of Hogwarts and with keeping Cissy from eating the grass. -- This whole section, with the Black sisters as children, is so perfect. Bellatrix isn't cruel yet, but she's already espoused the blood views of her family and she just has a very inflated sense of her own authority, which foreshadows quite a bit about her as an adult. And for Andromeda - she's too young to understand, she doesn't really hate Mudbloods it seems, (by her reaction to Bella) but she still has that internal sense that they're unpleasant, which makes sense considering the influences she grew up with. She's still just a kid and there's a lot of innocence to this section, and a lot said in what you don't say , which is really impressive.

In fact the whole story has a lot that's behind the scenes and really subtly written, like the majority of Andromeda and Ted's relationship. You can tell what their relationship has been like before this point, mostly all in secret and with a sort of forbidden feel to it, but their love was more powerful than what kept them apart. I like that you chose to focus on this moment out of their entire relationship, too. That must have been literally life changing for her - when she left one family and joined a new one. Her indecision here is so perfectly written.

Ah, and the last part is so sad! Andromeda really lost so much in the wars. Her first family, and then most of her second. But that's what makes the last few lines so beautiful - there's still hope, and her family lives on because of Teddy, so to speak. This really is a beautiful story and I'm so glad I read it. Great work, Gina! Thanks for sharing! ♥

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Review #48, by marauderfanIn The End: Chapter 3

25th January 2017:
I saw that this story had a lot more reviews on the first chapter than on this one, so I kept going in order to give you more feedback on later in the story!

Remus/Tonks is such a great (and sad) ship. I really like how you're presenting both sides of their argument here, and how Remus is totally stuck on his self-deprecation and keeps insisting he's not good enough for Tonks. It's so sad that he thought that about himself, but matches really well with what we know of from the books. As for Tonks, she is so wonderfully accepting and I love that, but it's almost like she doesn't fully consider Remus' arguments, especially the one about having kids, which really foreshadows his panic and running away in DH. I'm glad they finally kissed but they clearly have a lot of things to talk about that they've kind of brushed under the rug, like the possibility that a kid might inherit the trait of being a werewolf.

And Sirius can be perceptive, I'm not surprised he noticed all the gazing :P

Great story! I hope you write more of it!

Author's Response: I have a fourth chapter being beta'd as we speak. I hope you continue to read it! I am glad that you read this far! Thank you! I try to be as realistic as possible but that doesn't always work the way I planned. Thank you again for the review!!

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Review #49, by marauderfanJourney Into The Unknown: Journey Into The Unknown

25th January 2017:
Hello! I'm here from your holiday wishlist - the wishlists are now closed, but I wanted to make sure I still gave you a gift!

Aw, this story is so sad. I hope Rachel comes around eventually. It must be difficult as a Muggle to marry a wizard and suddenly learn all about this world you never knew existed, and then find out that your daughter has those skills to such a degree that she can change her appearance. But... aw. Ariana has no idea why her mum is so upset with her, and it's not like she can do anything about it. I'm just glad Michael is there for her - and that the family seems to know Tonks, which would be so great if they could ask her for advice.

One thing I loved about this story was how vague you left the actions of Rachel. You left some pretty ominous hints about how Rachel later regretted walking out of the room, underestimating Ariana... and the story ends before we get to find out exactly what happened. Like, it could go either way - they talk to Tonks and she reassures Rachel, or Rachel leaves the family. Those retrospective regrets you added on in Rachel's actions really add a lot to the story and made me wonder.

Great story!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading this!!! This review really made my day! I am glad you enjoyed the story! I worked really hard on this. I am glad to see it being appreciated. Thank you so much!

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Review #50, by marauderfanHow Hogwarts Scarred Me For Life (by Enid McElderry) : How Hogwarts Scarred Me For Life (by Enid McElderry)

25th January 2017:
I'm here with very (very, very) belated holiday gifts. The wishlists are closed now so this is unofficial, just wanted to make sure you got some gifts! By the way, look at your Q&A for another gift as well ;)

So, browsing your page here I saw this one, and if I recall correctly wasn't this the Story of the Month not too long ago? Congrats! So now I'm here to love and review it!

Okay, so clearly the best thing about this story is Enid and her absolutely brilliant narration. She has some great one liners in there - get ready for me to copy and paste some of your own work back to you:

Id have probably recognised him if shed used his title, or just called him the dungeon bat. Everyone else did.

no one could look that glum over a croissant!

No actually Enid we wanted to thank you for doing every bit of homework on time we actually have no idea what youre on about

There were loads more but those ones really stood out to me and made me laugh. Enid's internal monologue was great. Poor Enid, forced to know all about this secret affair and have it follow her throughout all of her Hogwarts years. Especially when you're eleven and the idea of your teachers having a love life is just... wrong. Hahaha! That and the fact that one of the people is the dungeon bat, whom Enid is terrified of.

I love how Hermione is really kind to Enid though and helps her find her cat, and it's clear throughout the story that Hermione's kindness has changed Snape, as well. I can't imagine Snape being that lenient a generation earlier, if Ron had been found in the corridor looking for Scabbers. He'd have a week's worth of detentions.

Also, poor Hermione. To bring Snape to the mirror of Erised and hear him say that after so long he's still hung up over Lily. At least he did seem to move forward at that point.

The way you wove together the romance and the humour was wonderful - it never got sappy because of the rather uninterested narrator, but it still showed the progression of their relationship and contained sweet moments.

This was really well paced and I have to say again that I just loved Enid's voice in this story. I can see why this won featured story! Well cone!

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