Reading Reviews From Member: marauderfan
912 Reviews Found

Review #26, by marauderfanChicks Before Broomsticks: Home Time

14th November 2014:
wahh no more chapters D: Well. I've reached the end of what you have posted so far and I am so eagerly awaiting chapter seven! This is such a great fic and I am addicted to it. Its funny because the fake-relationship is such a commonly used plot device in fanfic but you've put the most wonderful spin on it that makes it feel original, so I'm really impressed. Gah, I just loved the scene when Roxanne meets Hollie's parents as it was so bittersweet - they think she's great and they all got on so well but Hollie knows it's only going to be worse when they break up. Which I hope they don't, because they're just so darn cute together! Aah!

Author's Response: Ah, there's another one coming soon! It's in the queue :)

I am such a sucker for the fake/pretend relationship trope. I definitely tried to do my own, original take on it and hearing that that's actually working is fantastic! There'll definitely be some more 'must-haves' in that trope coming up. (imagine me giving an evil laugh after saying that) :p

It was very heartbreaking for me (and Hollie!) for the moment she's watching Roxanne accept more dinner invites. Without completely rambling and spoiling everything, I feel like Hollie just has this constant dread around her about the looming end of her and Roxanne.

and that's all I'll say! :)

Thanks again for reading and letting me know what you thought! More is on the way!


 Report Review

Review #27, by marauderfanChicks Before Broomsticks: Black Bats

14th November 2014:
ok, I've been a bad reviewer so far as I just keep clicking the 'next' button because I'm in love with this story and just want to keep reading because it's SO GOOD, but well that isn't fair to you so I'm pausing now to write this and then I will finish my reading binge.

Lots of things to talk about since the last review I wrote. Omg, I don't know how Hollie is handling it! Kudos to her for keeping it together because if I were in her place the secret would be out of the bag in like 5 seconds. But as sweet as Roxanne is, I feel like she's really hurting Hollie and has no idea and I'm just worried about whats going to happen when she finds out that Hollie has real feelings for her.

Also. Dean/Seamus! Love. This line in Dean's letter made me laugh out loud: Your father is growing a midlife crisis beard. Make sure to tell him it looks okay when you visit so you donít hurt his feelings -- haha aww! :D

I'm so sad Hollie didn't get to play! Gah, it must be SO frustrating as a reserve. Before, she at least had the added benefit of not having the press in her face, but now she's got the worst of both worlds :(

I found a couple of typos if you don't mind me pointing them out...
conformation -- should be 'confirmation'
and (in Spanish) captaín -- should be 'capitán.'

BUT I don't want this to sound nitpicky because real talk: I love this story so much. Until next time! ♥

Author's Response: hehe, I know that feeling all too well; no worries! I'm so happy that you've loved this story enough that you've wanted to keep reading along! I've loved writing it so much and seeing that translate back is so nice.

Hollie is definitely using the fact that she wants to be helpful and good in Roxanne's eyes to keep herself in there. Heh, and she definitely did spill in five seconds, to Alec :p And I feel like Roxanne definitely doesn't know - at least, the full extent - of Hollie's feelings; I have to believe that she'd NEVER ask Hollie to do this if she knew.

Dean/Seamus is a TOTAL headcanon of mine. They were bffs for all seven books and you can't tell me that little reunion at the end of Deathly Hallows was 'just friends' (or you can't tell my slash shipper heart. heh.) And the crisis beard was just too fun to omit.

Oh god, I know. I think being one of the only big professional sports in the wizarding world, you've got to be /good/ to be on the team, even as a reserve. So she is a really good player but sometimes it's not enough. And she definitely is stuck in a rough spot with getting written about, and still not playing.

I definitely appreciate the typo mentions. I'm working on this chapter right now with Andy and will definitely get those fixed! I got so mad at myself when I saw 'capitan' (changed to a normal 'a' here because it formats all funky) because I literally looked it up like six times to be sure and I must have just spell-checked it on accident at the last minute. gah!

Ah, thank you again! I'm so happy you loved it. I just can't stop smiling, for real!


 Report Review

Review #28, by marauderfanThe Enchanted Ground: Three

13th November 2014:
Ok, well I did literally no writing for NaNo this evening but I have no regrets because this story was worth it. This was one of the most fresh, original stories I've read on this site. It's unconventional and at the same time so classic, as love is classic - and like everything else by you, it was written so incredibly.

The characters. I loved the choice of people in this fic. Roxanne and Lucy are the next-gen kids that are written about the least, I think, so it was really nice to see them feature strongly here. I loved Roxanne's humour, and the way Lucy was such an individual. And James - I haven't seen any other fic where James is gay, so I thought that was a nice touch. Poor guy being outed by gossipers, but he seemed all right in the end as he was so happy with Jameson (lol, the names!) In the previous chapter I really loved how Thackeray took a moment to speak with James, and at the time I assumed it was something really profound and caring - and then to find out it was about playing pranks on roommates with itching powder LOL. I love how genuine Thackeray is, and says what needs to be said. Nothing about Thackeray is fake, and that's such a wonderful trait.

And what a wonderful message the whole story has - it's so beautiful. You did so well at weaving together a mix of how things are and how they should be. And I love that they all had such a happy ending, how Roxanne ended up doing professional illustrating, and it's perfect that Thackeray worked at an NMO, and that they are still happy and in love :) Thank you for writing such an amazing story!

 Report Review

Review #29, by marauderfanThe Enchanted Ground: Two

13th November 2014:
♥ ♥ so many feels. and possibly a few tears. That scene at the top of the hill was magical.

 Report Review

Review #30, by marauderfanThe Enchanted Ground: One

13th November 2014:
JENNA. I do not know how it took me so long to discover this story but I am SO glad that I have. Eee!

Roxanne is awesome - I love her energy and creativity and open-mindedness. But who I really want to talk about is Thackeray. What a brilliant character. First, I found myself instantly relating to Thackeray because of all the activism, as I was the same in high school and college, always involved in these environmental and social activist causes and I just felt this great connection to Thackeray - even though the causes supported in this story are a bit whimsical (like the entire magical world) - unicorn poo, haha.

ALSO. I love that you have written this whole thing without using any gender pronouns. This is the first time I've seen a gender-neutral character in fanfic (or any fiction?) and I love the way you approached the topic. It's not the focal point of the story, just as gender identity isn't the focal point of a person - it's just a facet of the whole. Roxanne and Thackeray are friends and they're awesome and Roxanne sees Thackeray for the person inside - but you haven't shied away from the discrimination that happens, as alluded to by all the nicknames and odd stares that Roxanne gets when she's with Thackeray. Omg this whole thing is just brilliantly done and I love the characters and cannot wait to read more.

 Report Review

Review #31, by marauderfanChicks Before Broomsticks: Fast Life

12th November 2014:
Omg I've only read the first chapter and I'm already so in love with this story. The scene where Hollie is sitting beside that man who's hitting on her in the bar and that whole conversation that happens just... you wrote it SO WELL. What I especially love is that Hollie doesn't pull the "I have a boyfriend" or the "I'm a lesbian" card, she's just like "no I'm not interested", and as a feminist I'm like cheering for her already as no one should feel the need to explain their non-attraction to someone by making up a boyfriend when your lack of attraction should be an excuse enough. /rant. But I digress, back to the story.

I love that the story is set in a professional Quidditch team, that's a really nice touch! I love how much of the plot it is (or looks like it will be).

And Hollie's crush on Roxanne is sweet. But gahh Roxanne was with that guy and now I just feel so bad for Hollie as she likes someone unattainable. It's doomed from the start! Ahh, please tell me Roxanne is bi so then there is still the possibility of a happy ending ;)

I wish I could give you a more thoughtful, less rambly review but I'm about 20,000 words behind on Nano so this is all for now but I will most definitely be back. You have the beginnings of a wonderful story here. Loved it!

Author's Response: Hey!

I haven't stopped smiling at this review since you sent it.

We should talk feminist rants sometime :p I really don't think girls should /ever/ have to make up being gay and/or taken to ward off a guy; if a guy has more respect for another made up guy he's never met than the girl he's trying to hit on, there's a big issue with the way his mind works.

*stops ranting also*

I really loved writing that part as sort of an introduction to Hollie. One of the biggest things I wanted to do with her character was to make her being gay a very secondary thing in her life, and I don't think she would have to explain that to the man after she already said no.

:D you've read on, and yes, I definitely wanted to make Pro-Quidditch a big part of this; not just say that they play and never have any game time.

It's very much a 'crush' at the beginning of the story, Hollie's feelings for Roxanne. It really just put a - temporary - stopper on things for Hollie to see Roxanne and Avery. And Roxanne's orientation will not be discussed quite yet :D

I am SO behind on NaNo. It's bad. I won't even say. I'm so happy you loved this! Thank you so much for the amazing review!


 Report Review

Review #32, by marauderfanDown Comes The Night: Chapter Six

12th November 2014:

Remember that time you wrote the most awesome Founders fic ever? I'm here to review it in order to maybe inspire you in writing the sequel during NaNo. :D

This was a great chapter. I loved the scene in the beginning with Rowena, Elaine, and Helga - it was so sweet and touching and I want to let Rowena know everything will turn out okay for her (kind of.) I love the way you've showed this other side to Rowena and Helga that doesn't really show when they're busy being legendary teachers. Poor Helga too, imagining how she's old and there's no hope for her when she is only nineteen, but of course in those days that was a big deal!

I also love how you're describing the way they're figuring out how to Sort everyone, and I think it's a perfect characterisation of Helga to point out that the House system is flawed as it divides the students when their (maybe just her) ultimate goal is unity. So sad that no one agreed, especially as Godric wouldn't even listen to her! :(

Ah, nothing like a compliment and a smile from a cute guy to make you clam up ;) While I am squeezing giddily about the fact that Salazar stood up for Helga and is noticing her and seems to really respect her, I dread the fact that Helga keeps suppressing such an important secret. Ahhh!

Awesome chapter!


Your NaNo Mum ♥

 Report Review

Review #33, by marauderfanAperkins: My one and Only Dramione : Overachiever? Meet Bad Boy.

12th November 2014:
Omg. This is gold. I absolutely adore Dramione parodies, as I'm not a huge fan of the ship itself, and this brought out all the cliches in the most hilarious way possible. Hermione randomly being the sexiest person in the room who shows off her legs, Draco being the misunderstood bad boy who secretly just wants love, the instant strike of attraction and hence true love. And Crabbe and Goyle being the same person because who honestly knew the difference between them anyway? Brilliant.

Oh and all the out-of-story narration like this: See, now isnít a co-dependent relationship an awesome plot twist? I told you youíd love reading this story. Let me continue though, because it just keeps getting better. -- Hahahaa... just throughout, the dry humour was the BEST.

I laughed out loud a few times while reading this as the narration was just so much fun and the ideas so silly, but at the same time quite familiar as they do tend to show up! Well done on cobbling together all these cliches into sheer brilliance.

Also, I gotta say - that bit at the end where you mention Hermione apologizing for Draco being stupid and how she imagines that Draco's shortcomings are her fault - I thought that was brilliant too but on a different level, as it wasn't subtle at all the way you pointed out the flaws, I love how you stated it so frankly as it's something that happens to people in real life which is sad as I'm all about women's empowerment. Anyway, I'm not sure if that part of your fic was intended to raise those points but that's how I interpreted it ;)

But I digress. This was seriously a brilliant fic, your parody voice is amazing, and I doubt you'll ever see this review because you seem to have disappeared but just in case you do, know that this was awesome and please write more Dramione parodies. :D

 Report Review

Review #34, by marauderfanWhat next?: Chapter One

12th November 2014:
Heh, I snagged the review tag spot after you again :P

Truth: ScoRose stories are my guilty pleasure. I love them :D Yours has started out in a really unique way too, which I appreciate - it's not like one is crazy about the other, and they're not sworn enemies or anything, they're just acquaintances who couldn't be bothered. I love that Scorpius isn't a Slytherin, either - Ravenclaw seems to suit him well.

Rose is really relatable, and quite different to how I often see her portrayed. I like that she's so shy, and uninterested in Quidditch as it really makes her stand out. But all that talk about how she has no idea what she wants to do after graduating and it's so much pressure to have to decide - I know how she feels! I can't imagine having the super-organized planner Hermione as her mother is really helping matters for her, either.

Love the characterisations of Rose's friends, as well. Ruth is great - quite silly and extroverted and I feel like those are great qualities for Rose's friends as otherwise Rose wouldn't come out of her shell (or books) that often! And I have the distinct feeling that Rose likes Al. The scene where she was making him do the magazine quiz was hilarious. Also, especially after your review on my fic I grinned when reading that Ruth has a gap between her front teeth XD I like it when characters aren't all gorgeous - that makes her just seem more real!

Weirdness with Scorpius. Wonder what's up with him - maybe he just grew up :p

Rose's boyfriend is interesting too. Well, he's not exactly 'interesting', I guess - he seems a lot like Percy just less smug. But Jonathan's relationship with Rose is interesting. It seems like it's more out of habit than anything else, or that Rose just likes the idea of having a boyfriend more than she likes Jonathan himself. But I have a feeling things may change soon... ;)

If you don't mind a bit of CC I did find this word choice issue: Iím not as lucky, the Guide is still eloping me -- 'Eloping' is only really used to refer to running away to get married in secret. Maybe you meant 'eluding'?

That tiny detail aside, this was a great first chapter, a promising set up for a good story, and I'm eager to see where it goes from here! :D


Author's Response: Hey Kristin!

The 'truth' at the beginning really had me smiling. But I would never have guessed that (mostly because of the stories I've seen on your Author's Page). I'm glad you like them though, and that you gave mine a shot! :)

I'm really happy you like my take on this ship! I wanted to avoid the drama of a love-hate relationship, and unrequited love wasn't what I had in mind either so I decided to make them slightly awkward acquaintances who, after a series of misunderstandings, end up as not so awkward acquaintances :P (I don't think this is a spoiler because the summary says it as well).

It's great to hear that you like my version of Rose and that her struggles with her mum and her future are understandable. And Scorpius being in Ravenclaw - well, yay! I've realised that this is not where other ScoRose writers usually place him but I always imagined him and Rose in that house. I haven't read many ScoRose stories so that might be the reason why this one seems 'unique'. But there are some quite big cliches ahead so I suppose it's not that unique. :D

As for Ruth... well, I am obviously very bad at characterisation, haha! I completely understand why you'd think that Ruth is extroverted and silly but I actually pictured her as a more closed-off person. Not exactly shy or quiet but very cautious about what she wants to share with people. The way she was acting on the train wasn't without a cause but... I can't say anything without spoiling the story. :D I'll see what I can do about that introductory scene, with the magazine, for I certainly don't want her to appear silly (she's actually really reasonable). But I do like that scene and I'm glad you thought it was funny!

Yay for crooked teeth, again! Confession: I'm currently writing a story in which the MC's crooked teeth are an ACTUAL PLOT POINT. I've taken this to the next level. :D

Good analysis of Scorpius! :) And of Jonathan! 'Like Percy but less smug.' is exactly how I imagined him. And I'm so happy that the scene with him made you write that paragraph, because it is their relationship in a nutshell.

I never mind CC! And god, yes, eluding is exactly what I meant. It really stands out now. *cringes* Thank you for pointing it out, I will fix it as soon as possible!

I have refrained from saying it until now but thank you so much for reviewing this! I really didn't think you would and I was just so pleasantly surprised when you did!

Having read your amazing story, I've seen how talented you are and that's why I'm even more ecstatic about you leaving a review and actually liking this story. Thank you again!


 Report Review

Review #35, by marauderfanThe One and Only Lily Potter: Oh, Shut Up, or Insufferable Smirks, Thy Name Wood

10th November 2014:
Review swap!

Haha, not only does she stab him with a fork, but apparently this is not a singular occurrence. :D You've characterised Lily really well so far, and I think that nickname she's earned for herself is quite valid, given all the yelling she did in this chapter, haha! In her defense though, who wouldn't get irritated by someone showing off their Captain badge 80 times a day and being all humblebrag about it. :P The interactions between Sebastian and Lily are so funny too because he's just so chill about it all, probably because it's so easy to get her wound up and he enjoys how little he has to do to make her freak out.

I do like that Neville chose a captain based on ability rather than on who's parents he is friends with. I imagine Sebastian is really quite a skilled quidditch player, given who his father is.

The interactions between Lily and her brother were great as well! He seems like such a typical brother - knows the right things to say to push Lily's buttons, and steals her chocolate frogs, but at the end of the day will still help her write a paper :D

Great first chapter! Way to help fill the void of Lily II fics, too :)

 Report Review

Review #36, by marauderfanTwo Words: Cold

10th November 2014:
Review swap! So glad to check out some of your awesome writing again.

This was a really creative piece and I LOVE that you wrote it in reverse chronological order! Like it builds up all this mystery and each successive paragraph reveals all the back story and fills it out - yet keeps so much more mystery left up to the imagination! Why is this all happening? How is Scorpius (possibly an Auror, given what his boss says to him) going to get away with this? What happens?!?!! But honestly, I like how much is left untold. It makes me wonder a lot, and I like that.

One thing that's really cool about the combination of reverse-timeline narration and your sparse, mysterious style for this piece is the way information is revealed. The way you showed which character is narrating: I step out of the shadows and he sees the last pair of eyes that heíd ever behold. His own. -- AAH, SO BRILLIANT.

I love the addition of the house-elf, too - she is a pretty important character in the end, as she is the only witness who knows everything that happened in the end. And oh I love how Rose protects her - clearly her mother raised her right!

Also, I want to gush about the style of the story again since it's just so unique. Five distinct stories - I just read them all over again and they really DO stand alone as separate stories. It's weird because each one on it's own isn't a mystery, but put together they are! HOW DID YOU DO THIS MAGIC? I guess this story is a prime example of "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts", clearly Aristotle was referring to this story when he said that. :p

So anyway, this is brilliant and I am in awe. Well done.

Author's Response: I am so glad that you liked this! I did leave quite a bit to the imagination, didn't I? I thought the best way to go about a mystery this short was to slowly reveal what happens within a small window of time and not explain what lead to it or what happened after. Awesome that it got you to wonder, that was definitely intended!

I really wanted to use this Microfiction style for all it's worth. I found that the word limit could be seen as a hindrance or as a plot device. I choose to use it to do things a bit differently and I'm so happy that you thought it worked!

The house-elf is a very important character! Her appearance could be seen as characterization for Rose, if you only read that section, but then it's like - OH that's who sent him the letter and she becomes really significant. I wanted a lot of those, like, OH moments because I feel like they give the reverse chronology reason to be utilized other than just like, 'hey look, I wrote this backwards.'

I can't even thank you enough for reading the stories separately and getting all of this out of such a short piece because that's exactly what I intended and it feels amazing to know that people read through and appreciated that stuff!

Thank you so much for this review, it was so amazing and kind, wow.

 Report Review

Review #37, by marauderfanSeven years later: Seven years later

10th November 2014:
Hello ;) I decided it was long past time for me to come check out some of your writing, so here I am!

This was cute. I loved the way you wrote the changing of the four friends relationship through the passage of time, and I must admit it was nice to see Snape had friends outside of the Death Eaters. I found it really interesting that they were all still friends the first time they met up again after school, as it was probably quite evident that everyone was going their separate ways - but it was really cute, because even though they knew things between them were not as ideal as maybe they wished at the age of eleven, they still try to keep up the friendly atmosphere by only discussing the good things, or topics that won't divide them apart anymore.

The end was really bittersweet too. It was nice to see Snape being so honest with Emmeline, as I feel like that was information he tried to conceal from Dumbledore - but perhaps since Emmeline is a friend he's had since the age of eleven, he feels that she's already guessed. Regardless, I thought their friendship was sweet.

Sweet story, thanks for sharing! :)

Author's Response: Hi Kristin!
Oh, wow, I'm so happy to see you on one of my stories! It means so much to me!
I've always had on my mind the idea of a friendship which could overcome house rivalry, and then I got the inspiration for this story while reading about Melanie's first trip to Hogwarts in your "The brave at heart" (thank you, by the way).
Yes, I know... This is really bittersweet... But at least Snape is not as alone as he is in canon...
Thanks again for this lovely review! I'm just so glad that you enjoyed this story!
Lots of love,

 Report Review

Review #38, by marauderfanVelvet Hands: Velvet Hands

10th November 2014:
Hufflepuff Review Tag!

You had me from the first line. Slaughterhouse-Five is one of my favourite books ;) And I love minor characters, so to discover a story about Madam Rosmerta, well I went into this with high expectations. And I was certainly not disappointed!

I love the reasoning for why the Friar became a ghost - it's such a Hufflepuff-y reason and fits so perfectly! Your characterization of him in general, was brilliant - he's genuine, full of humour at the appropriate time, and can really relate to Rosmerta. I adored his antiquated opinion on what a good, proper name is. (It makes me wonder what he'd think of like, modern celebrity names, haha.)

In many ways, Mina was a patchwork person Ė rendered whole with nothing but the stitching of Rosmertaís imagination. -- This is beautiful. What a poetic and visual way to describe a person - I love it, and it works so well for the few things you've described about Mina.

The conversation between Rosmerta and the Friar, particularly once they start talking about death and memory, was so powerful. That was my favourite section of the fic, when Rosmerta laments that she cannot remember much about the woman she loved, and certainly no one else remembers ner - and the Friar reveals that he cannot remember his own sisters name, or what it felt like to be alive. It's really sad but so realistic in a way, and I love the way the Friar's 1000 years of afterlife remind Rosmerta that things will be forgotten and it's okay. The Friar doesn't hang onto the past, so I'm glad Rosmerta talked to him as it helped her let go. After all, letting go is not the same as forgetting. She may not remember the details about Mina, but she remembers Mina, and that's what matters.

Gah, I could just go on forever gushing about this, it was such a lovely story and so well written. Your imagery is really effective and the emotions of the characters were so perfectly demonstrated.

Regarding your A/N... first time writing non-linear, slash, third person AND present tense - WOW, talk about taking on a challenge, and I would never have guessed! It felt as if you'd been writing this style comfortably for ages!

Awesome job on this fic!

Author's Response: Hey Kristin!

Gah, this review! After posting in the Review Tag thread, I knew I should be expecting a review sometime in the future, but I didn't expect one so quickly. And I certainly didn't expect it to be so wonderful and thoughtful! Thank you SO SO much!

Oh boy, so many things to address! First off, I love Slaughterhouse-Five as well and I was so happy you commented on it! After all, a review from a Slaughterhouse-Five admirer has its weight. :P Also, this quote has always been my favourite quote from the book, except maybe for the one about time being like a stretch of mountains (though that one wouldn't really fit with this story).

As for Rosmerta, I picked her at random, literally. I knew I wanted a minor character (beside the Friar who was part of the prompt) but I couldn't decide which one. So I took my copy of PoA, turned a random page and there was Rosmerta. :)

And aaah, I'm so glad you weren't disappointed! The Friar was incredibly fun to write and it's great to hear I did justice to his character! And hahah, celebrity names! Not exactly a celebrity but I think that after hearing the name North West, he'd probably come back to life and then die all over again. :D

Ah, the patchwork bit, I'm rather proud of it and it's so thrilling you found it worth mentioning! Thank you. :)

Okay, that whole paragraph about the memory made me squeal with joy! ''the way the Friar's 1000 years of afterlife remind Rosmerta that things will be forgotten and it's okay.'' -- THIS. This is the point of the whole story and gaah, I was so ecstatic when I read it! Seriously, this was the main thing I was trying to convey throughout writing this and at one point, I even had Friar say this to Rosmerta, but then I changed it to something less obvious. I agree wholeheartedly that forgetting is not the same as letting go and I was hoping to give Rosmerta this one moment where she finally lets go of things she can't change. Anyway, I'm so ecstatic that this was your favourite section and that my idea for this story seemed to have resonated with you so well.

I can't even begin to think of a coherent way to respond to all of these compliments you listed below so I'll just say THANK YOU once again - this review truly made my day! :)


 Report Review

Review #39, by marauderfanInvictus: Black as the pit from pole to pole

9th November 2014:
For our review swap!

Wow, this is a really interesting piece. Such a sad illustration of Narcissa's life :( but what struck me most of all about this was her reflections on invisibility, and how she's stuck between two sides -one side sees her as the Death Eater's sister, one side sees her as the blood-traitor's sister. It's as if she doesn't really know who she is, and wasn't given the time to figure it out before she married Lucius.

It's so sad - I wonder what she could have been if she'd had the time and the freedom to find herself. But in order to be a Black, which it seems is her highest goal, she has to follow the rules, which she does to a T. What an interesting story - it definitely made me think.

Well done!

 Report Review

Review #40, by marauderfanshe's thunderstorms: she's thunderstorms

9th November 2014:
eep, this is amazing! Your prose is so beautiful here, I just can't get over it. The imagery is so vivid, of the sea, the end of the war, and just Luna being Luna - I love the word choice and the details you chose to point out which really make the scenes come to life.

And of course - Dean and Luna ♥ You painted the four stages of this relationship with such care, and such a bittersweet end. Seeing Luna through Dean's eyes in this fic is really just lovely - this is such a beautiful description of Luna's free, optimistic spirit and how she brightened others spirits in the dark of war. I didn't want her to leave at the end, but like Dean, I knew she had to. The last few lines, as Dean is painting... guh, it's just the most perfect thing I've read. I'm sure I've said before and I will say again next time I read something by you - you have a special way with words and are able to wield them so beautifully. Thanks for writing this superb fic. :)

 Report Review

Review #41, by marauderfanTeddy and Lumpy: Master Adventurer

9th November 2014:
I remember seeing the banner for this a while ago and laughing, and thinking I should come back to read it at some point. So it was very fortuitous that I happened to be stalking your AP this evening and found it again. Hooray!

This was just... the cutest. There is no plot, but none is needed; it just focuses on all the great things about being a kid. I love all his interactions with his new mushroom friend - how he tries to feed it and protect it from the gnomes, and even gives it a name. What this story really made me think of was my own childhood - when I was about that age, my cousin and I used to go explore the meadow behind our grandma's house and look for weird slugs and insects and things, and, gah, this story makes me all nostalgic! So I really love the way you set the tone and it just exudes the blissful freedom of childhood.

The one thing that struck me as a possible error: in the beginning Andromeda says to wait until Teddy's grandfather Ted gets home, but if I remember correctly, Ted Tonks died in the Deathly Hallows book? (I'm pretty sure. Might be wrong though) But that's a really small error. Overall, it's an adorable story and I loved it.

Best line: How could it not be happy with such a creative and superb name like Lumpy.

 Report Review

Review #42, by marauderfanAn inky black heart.: The ebony vessel.

8th November 2014:
Kiana, I'm really not sure how to write this review and put all of my impressed-ness into words. Not only is this style so different to anything else you've written (that I've read), I've really not seen anything like this on the whole archive.

You've absolutely nailed the obsessive side to Snape in this. The repetition in threes was such an interesting touch - it's so fragmented, yet focused, and continues almost like the pounding of a drum. And of course, it reinforces the obsessiveness (because it's often a characteristic of OCD to repeat things a certain number of times).

The voice in this is so strong. I feel like Snape's mind is saying this all very sharply on a crackly vinyl recording in a dimly lit, cold room. ...I realise I'm probably making no sense, but what I'm trying to get across is that the clipped sentences and the repetition and the mentions of colours set the tone so effectively and the mood is established right from the beginning. It's strange, but so purposeful, and that's why I love it.

I don't know what else to say. It's brilliant. And the every words counts challenge too! SO much in just 500 words. Well done. :)

Author's Response: Hey Kristin, well you left me an amazing review so you made me day anyhow. Haha, I definitely no what you mean about the style but it was so much fun just to break down all the rules I highly recommend it!

I'm so glad you thought I got the obsessive side to Snape as that was what I really wanted to convey as it was quite some obsession he had over Lily.

Oooh, no it makes complete sense and now I have a really cool image in my mind so thank you for that as it's a really fab compliment. I'm glad that you did like it though as I was worried it would be a little to strange but phew it's not.

Thanks so much for this amazing review, Kristin, it really did make me smile! :D


 Report Review

Review #43, by marauderfan(the trick is to) keep breathing: deep breaths

8th November 2014:
Hello! stopping by because a)you are a boss at writing and b) I'm secretly hoping that some of your mad NaNo skill will transfer over to me if I read this. SERIOUSLY 50K ALREADY? SLOW DOWN WOMAN. Except don't. You're amazing. And I digress. :p

Ugh, you're starting THERE. I'll get my box of tissues ready just in case... but yeah, the style of this is wonderful. Both the second person and the way you worked around using any dialogue at all. In particular I like the stylistic effect of the lack of dialogue, almost like it's all kind of unclear and muddled for Andromeda, as I imagine it would be on the longest night of her life when she lost so much.

The short section as Andromeda and Teddy was the best part, I think, as the sky lightens around them. It's like this emphasis that although things are dark and terrible, there is still hope and it will get lighter in time. You know, "the night is darkest just before the dawn" (that's a quote from Batman, but I'm sure someone else said it first :p)

Poor Andromeda. She really had it rough, and reading things like this just make me so sad and I wish that circumstances had turned out better for her. She's a strong one.

Beautiful writing, Emily! ♥

 Report Review

Review #44, by marauderfanMonster: Monster

8th November 2014:
Hi Aditi! Here with your requested review :)

Wow. Eek. This was a very spooky story, I loved how you progressed from innocent 8-year-old Rose to the 23-year-old gone bad at the end. The foreshadowing was excellent, too - I had a feeling, after reading those few paragraphs about how 16-year-old Rose loved the sunshine, that the inevitable monster would be a vampire, whose realm is the dark and the shadows and who fear the sun. So I think those few ironic paragraphs about the liberating sunshine were my favourite!

I definitely wasn't expecting the end, either. I've read a few fics where Rose gets turned into some sort of monster and then tries to adapt back into whatever version of society, but here, all she used to be was gone, switched over to the side of the vampires entirely. That part about Hermione - ah, so sad! And horrible! But, I think it was a perfect ending to this story as it brought it full circle and really showed how much Rose has gone over the edge and lost who she was. On the whole, I loved the style of the writing as it just built up to this dreadful climax, with little hints throughout of what was coming (little Rose asking about monsters, then enjoying the sun, etc).

Considering it's the first time you wrote a story like this, you've done remarkably well! I applaud the use of second person. It makes Rose much more relatable as a little child, and then even scarier as a vampire because you're IN her mind.

There was one tiny, pedantic detail I thought didn't make much sense, which was this sentence: Your wand clatters to the ground -- when if she was in a forest, where the ground is pine needles and soil (I'd imagine), it wouldn't make a clattering noise, more of a muted thump, maybe. :p

Anyway - thanks for asking me to read this, it was wonderfully eerie - excellent writing. (Also, I'm glad writing this helped you get over writers block for The Worst!)

Author's Response: Hey!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Your reviews always make me so happy (which is why I've just re-requested for chapter 9 of the worst) xD

I am pleased you found this spooky as that was my aim. It's great to know that you enjoyed the foreshadowing, and actually caught all those little hints xD

I have read some of those fics too, in fact as you know The Worst is about Dom turning into a 'monster' of sorts and trying to get back to her old life (though vampire is definitely way more horrible and non-human than werewolf), so I wanted to do something different here and show that Rose was completely in control of her attacker after she turned. I am glad you liked the ending too, and the style of writing. It was something new for me so I was worried, but you've put me at ease!

Thank you so much for your lovely comments. I'm so, so happy to know that you liked my use of second person (what a relief!!) and you found Rose relatable.

Ah "wand clattering" is a term I normally use, so it kinda skipped my mind that it's a forest floor haha. I'll go back and take care of that little detail though, thanks for pointing it out!

Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #45, by marauderfanHunger: Hunger

8th November 2014:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review!

So, first of all I'm just going to say that for the first half of this, before it's revealed whose mind this is all taking place in, all the descriptions of the woman and the thoughts running through the narrator's head were sort of uncomfortable to read. And then you revealed that it's Fenrir Greyback and it all made sense, because he does give the impression of a violent, lascivious creepo, and the narration in this fic sounded kind of exactly how I'd imagine he'd see a young woman wandering in the forest. So in terms of characterization - it's brilliant, given the rather repulsive character you're writing about. ;)

All right, so first you asked about the flow of the piece. The flow is kind of interesting on this because as I read it, this is all happening during a high speed chase as he pursues her through the trees, while Fenrir's thoughts are kind of lingering and focused and don't really give an indication of how quickly everything is happening. (I don't mean to say that this is a problem - just the impression I got from it. The flow seems to apply more to the progression of Fenrir's thoughts than what is actually happening, which I think illustrates how caught up in his head and obsessed he is. So, in summary, it was an interesting way of addressing the flow, and I think it works given the situation and the character.

Spookiness/darkness: Definitely spooky. Again, though, most of the spookiness is due to Fenrir's thoughts, and the actual setting of the forest is a bit glossed over as Fenrir focuses on the woman instead. I don't know if you want to venture out of Fenrir's head at all to describe the forest a little more, but if you did, I think descriptions of spindly, silhouetted trees, an eerie silence, etc. wouldn't go amiss.

Altogether, great job at the spooky, horror theme of this story - very well written!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you found it spooky enough. It was tricky trying to balance the descriptions and to characterize Fenrir too. I wanted to go into more depth, but that would detract from the overall thoughts he is having, and would throw off the tone I was going for. I really did want to make him seem focused, like a true predator, focusing on his prey rather than on his surroundings.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #46, by marauderfanCareful What You Wish For: Happy Endings

6th November 2014:
Hi Courtney! Wow, so this is the end! I have really enjoyed reading this story - it was well paced, had awesome characters, a brilliant plot with the mirror, and was just generally a fun read! Cute ending - so optimistic and fluffy. I definitely feel the end-of-school nostalgia radiating off the page and it makes me remember that stage of my life too! Anyway, this story was such a great read and I adored all the characters. Well done on creating a brilliant story, I'll miss reading it! And congrats on finishing! :D

 Report Review

Review #47, by marauderfanMy Life In Gold: My Life In Gold

21st October 2014:

That is all.

Author's Response: THANK YOU!!!


 Report Review

Review #48, by marauderfanThe Deathly Children: Of Blood and Intent

21st October 2014:
Before I begin my review, I just wanted to say congratulations on the Best Description award, teh - you totally deserve it!! ♥

This was such a great chapter. I absolutely love the way in which you continue to develop Gellert's character. The section in the beginning, where he sees children playing rock-paper-scissors and is reminded of the Hallows, was especially great because it shows the depth to which Gellert is really obsessed with the Hallows, seeing the signs everywhere.

I thought it was interesting too how he said magic is magic and who cares about pure bloodlines. That's really not what I was expecting from him, though now that I think about it, I don't remember Grindelwald ever being associated with Voldemort's style of pureblood supremacy, rather that Grindelwald was just "a dark wizard" - for what could be any number of reasons. So that was really cool.

I also noted the difference in how he behaves with various people - he's so unpredictable, but at the same time I can tell that there is thought behind all of it, depending on whether or not he sees the person as useful in his future. As in, he's quite rude to the boys, particularly Creevey, because they mean nothing to him, but he was rather kind (albeit condescending) to Ariana - only because he thinks that will put him in Albus' good graces perhaps. And upon seeing her magic, he doesn't underestimate her. He's a sly one, and I just love the way you write him.

Likewise, your writing of Ariana is really admirable and the way you write her illness and the Glass Girl and Crone showing up all over the place and Ariana mentions them as if it's nothing out of the ordinary, it makes Ariana's perspective seem really normal as that's what she's used to, but stepping back from her perspective it's obvious that the world doesn't look that way to everyone else. I have a feeling we're going to see more interaction between Gellert and Ariana, because although she's a bit mad, I think Gellert can see that she knows something or at least senses something about the Hallows, and he'll want to find out what it is and where she heard about it.

Really excited to read on - I'm so glad to see you're working on this for NaNo ;) Great chapter!

Author's Response: Kristin! ♥

I should probably be Crucio-d for taking so long to reply. *hides*

BUT ah, thank you so much!! For this amazing review, this one and the other one you left on my last chapter of Background Noise (I'm answering this review first because the other review cracks me up and I think I'd like to laugh a little longer, if you don't mind. :P )

Gellert is fast becoming my favourite character to write hahaha. He's definitely very unhealthily obsessed with those Hallows, and I think he might have a different approach to power compared to Voldemort. Well, they're both power hungry maniacs, but I imagine Gellert would be less about pureblood supremacy. But yeah, he's pretty much a bully to those boys, especially Creevey.

Thank you for your comments about Ariana! I really do try to present her twisted world as normally as I can, and I'm so glad you realise what I'm doing! I think there will definitely be more interactions between Ariana and Gellert - these two are my favourite characters to write.

Thanks again for this brilliant review, Kristin! ♥ SO happy to see continue to follow and support this story!!


 Report Review

Review #49, by marauderfanLying Josephine: Eye of the Storm

21st October 2014:
Tanya! Words cannot express how stoked I was to see a new chapter of this! Also, now I know your secret - if your writing is motivated by PM's full of love and pestering, I will get on that ASAP. :p

I love love love the growing friendship between Jo and Fred - their conversations are so funny as it's mostly just Fred prattling on, punctuated by very to-the-point comments (or hand gestures) from Jo. Aw, he told her his secrets! That is the mark of friendship. Besides, it's not like she's the type to tell secrets, or anything really :p

I know the second section with George is much more somber, but I still couldn't help giggling at the sheer amount of poo-related products available for purchase at the twins' shop. Poo d'Etat... haha brilliant. Faecal Treacle? Ew. And brilliant. These shouldn't be as funny as they are. XD

But moving on - I really loved the whole conversation between Jo and George. It was all kinds of awkward, but just the fact that they went through all these emotions together - the guilt, the accusations, the grief - that's bringing them closer together, because intense conversations like that aren't something you just forget about the next day. I only wish Jo had said the things she was thinking about saying! I know she uses a lot of facial expressions and few words which maybe Fred would have understood a deeper meaning, but George doesn't know her as well yet. I mean, I'm sure he knew she was trying, but I think if she'd actually articulated what she wanted to say, it would have helped George a lot. Well, they will have more time for that..

I noticed one small typo in this chapter. It's in the A/N: you wrote "I am the worst", but I think you meant "best". ;) BECAUSE YOU'RE THE BEST! I'll pester you with love and support in a few days to see how chapter six is coming along ;) Awesome work!

Author's Response: Kristin! Gah, you're so lovely!!! And LOL! Yes, guilt-trips are my kryptonite. Please be gentle with this information! :-p

Yay! I love how much people love Fred and Jo's relationship. When I first started writing this story, I really thought the focus would be on George and Jo's relationship, but there's something so special about Fred and Jo together! They're just such a weird pair! It makes no sense, except it does! hahaha Anyway, I'm glad you continue to enjoy them! And yay for secret-sharing! I really wanted to showcase the moment when the two became actual friends! I'm glad you like it! And... yeah, I think most secrets are safe with Jo. ;)

HAHAHA Oh, poo-related humor. Nothing better. I had WAY too much fun creating those. Glad you thought it was funny! :-D

Daww, thank you! I'm glad you liked that section! So much awkward, though, yeah. hehehe But I definitely agree - it will eventually be the sort of thing that (once the horror of the situation wears off) will bring them closer together. AND I KNOW! Gah! She's so frustrating sometimes! She has these beautiful, kind thoughts, but just keeps them inside!!! SPEAK, JO! SPEAK! hahaha (Also, yes, I do know it's my fault she's like this. :-p) And omg, you just hit on something SO spot on. I'll dive into all of that in later chapters, but yes. Exactly that line of thinking.

HA! You're so clever and SO RIDICULOUSLY SWEET! *melts* Seriously, Kristin, my face hurts from smiling over this review! :-D :-D :-D YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S THE BEST! And hopefully with NaNo and the endless amounts of pestering I'm sure to get, chapter six - and all the other chapters! - will be out soon! *crosses fingers*

Thank you again for this glorious review! You're the greatest! *hugs*

Tanya ^.^

 Report Review

Review #50, by marauderfanPlay the Devil: Starlight

21st October 2014:
I'm so impressed with the historical background in this story - you must have done a lot of research. It's what really sets this story up well and makes it feel real, all these things are happening on such a rich historical backdrop. Not only the succession of kings and who's related to whom, but the societal things as well like Rose thanking the servants out of habit, or accidentally apologising to them - it continues to remind me just how out of place she is even after so long in the past.

Hmm. I think Scorpius cheated on her. Based on the short discussion of him in the beginning of the chapter, and then about halfway through when Rose is lamenting things that suck in the modern day, like bad haircuts or adulterous partners. It's a clue! Scorpius cheated on her... with a hairstylist :p ok, scratch the last part, but. that is what I think. :p

I loved the scenes with Rose and Richard together, particularly when they went to the stables and Rose was so forward with him and still playful - it's always amusing to me to see Richard try and step out of his natural formality and how Rose brings that out.

Wow, the end has me wondering and guessing all sorts of things. That bit about the starts creepily glowing like a face was so eerie and definitely held some dark sense of foreboding - first something strange going on with Richard, and then weird signs in the sky, and I feel like the "walking over your grave" comment was actually pretty important. I'm sure Rose didn't mean it literally, but... I'm sensing a lot more meaning in it than she probably intended. Ahh and then all of a sudden Rose is back in the twenty first century! In the middle of the night when she was sleeping! How did she get there? I thought it was only Apparition that caused it. Did Scorpius find the potion in her bag and bring her back? Omg so many questions, I guess I have to be patient and wait and see :p

Awesome chapter, Jenna!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>