Reading Reviews From Member: marauderfan
841 Reviews Found

Review #26, by marauderfanNot Normal: {Chapter the Sixth}

26th July 2014:
Review Tag!

Aaaahh a new chapter! Most exciting thing ever.

Haha, Ellie trying to point out a Ravenclaw at the Ravenclaw table. It's like when you're trying to subtly point something out to someone by nodding your head and they don't get it and you have to point anyway. The worst.

Ghost boyfriend! Ellie's ghost-stalking is such a neat talent. I'm really excited to read more about it :P

Wouldn't life be just that much easier if things were marked with titles like THIS WAY TO SECRET PASSAGE ?? That'd be really helpful.

Mmm, dead skin cells from the Renaissance. Just what everyone wants to inhale. Ooh, she found the passage! She could totally sign up for Indiana Jones' next artifact raiding/adventuring expedition.

Hogwarts is made of basalt? Omg the passage probably leads into an old, extinct volcano full of ghosts. Hooray for persistence though, she found it. I liked that scene though, how it wasn't just like she looked and there it was, there was quite the process involved in finding it!

flattened woodchips covered in ink and bound in the hide of a dead animal. -- Hahahah... I love the way Ellie sees/rephrases the world. I will never think of books again the same way.

Why all the violent awakenings, homies? -- What I will say when I wake up all the time from now on.

Deep-ocean trench bioluminescence is the coolest. Also I love that Ellie can recognise rock types and incorporates that into her narration, haha! And sees copper chloride rather than thinking "ooh that's a cool flame". She certainly sees the world in a different way.

Well, I have no idea what just happened, as I doubt Ellie really knows either. But there's a secret passage in the library! And it's full of copper chloride and limestone and creepy statues! And she like, left the door open when she went back to her bed. Is someone going to notice? :P

Wow, also I'm sorry that this review is literally nothing but a stream of consciousness ramble as I read the chapter. Anyway, it was a great chapter! I am so curious to find out more about the hidden room, and about the ghost finding, and just anything else Ellie says because it's all brilliant.

Great job on this chapter!

Author's Response: Yes! Finally a new chapter! Woohoo!

Ellie's struggles are real. Life can be annoying.

Yes! I am very excited about the ghost boyfriend also!

It would definitely make life easier if we had THIS WAY TO SECRET PASSAGE signs, but I think it would also sort of defeat the purpose... and half the fun.

She's so good at finding things it's a wonder she isn't in Hufflepuff. Another small wonder is that all of Hufflepuff isn't in the cast of Indianna Jones.

Haha! I love the idea of Hogwarts being built into a volcano! But I did a little research and learnt that Scotland does indeed have basalt, so it was a conveniently coloured rock out of which to build the castle. Your idea is cooler though.

The way Ellie sees things... it's a lot of fun writing her that way. She's like super nerdy but also super goofy at the same time, and that makes for some interesting turns of phrase.

Ellie reads too many geology books. She needs to stop. I can imagine her running a tumblr science blog or something, actually.

Poor Ellie! Her night of adventuring is turning out to be too exciting for her, isn't it? But yes! Secret passages! Statues! Geology! Woohoo!

I loved this review! It was lovely reading your thoughts :) Thank you

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Review #27, by marauderfanHogwarts Reclaimed: Hufflepuff - teh tarik

25th July 2014:
teh, I love you for writing this. :D

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Review #28, by marauderfanMy Most Faithful: Prisoner

25th July 2014:
Ok, I've caught up! Wow, what a story! There is something so morbidly fascinating about Anne's descent into darkness and I just can't stop reading, even though she's pretty well mired in darkness by this point and has the most unhealthy obsession with Tom and is headed for total destruction. Sometimes I feel bad for her, but at the same time she got herself into this mess in the first place. It's like watching a building burn down or something - horrible, but you can't look away.

I see from your author's notes that there is often a long time period between updates, but I'm hoping there's a new one soon :p Amazing story so far!

Author's Response: Thanks so much, seriously. Next one shouldn't be long at all, so I hope you stick around to enjoy it!

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Review #29, by marauderfanMy Most Faithful: Lost

25th July 2014:

every chapter of this fic gets better and better! Your characters are so complicated, so intriguing, and I love them and hate them at the same time! Even Tom had a little bit of feelings in this chapter. And Anne, wow. Your characters are brilliant.

Author's Response: Yayayay thanks so much!

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Review #30, by marauderfanMy Most Faithful: Grindelwald

25th July 2014:
OMG THIS STORY IS WAY INTENSE. Seriously it's nearly one in the morning and for some reason I'm still reading even though I'm really tired.

Also, her parents ARE involved with something relating to Grindelwald! They recognised her last name! There is something there, I know it.

The scene where Tom spins her around was really sweet but also so WEIRD because it's VOLDEMORT we're talking about. But I can see him having that reaction to his first country take-over, I suppose. haha

Gah that scene with the guard was so intense! like I don't even know how to feel about it - who is the enemy here? Tom Riddle's side or the Nazi's? Asdjkfjalskdf but that's why this story is fantastic

Ps I think the amount of sense my reviews make is inversely proportional to the lateness of the hour. Sorry :p

Author's Response: Hahahah I'm so happy you're spending the time to read my story and that you're enjoying it. It means a lot!

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Review #31, by marauderfanMy Most Faithful: Crushes & Clubs

25th July 2014:
ooh, so she's a wolf. I assume. Also her date with Joey was the cutest ever. If only she actually liked him rather than manipulating him because of Tom. Her crush on Tom is so obvious, and ughhh. If only her future self could step in and provide some advice to her thirteen year old self.

Your characterisation of Anne continues to shine, and has been very consistent throughout. I love her kind of moral dilemmas in that she does have a conscience, but keeps ignoring her instincts. Her instincts tend to be correct too, but she's just focused rather possessively on Tom and forgets anything else.

I've been wondering what's up with her parents, why they're always gone. I wonder if it's Grindelwald related. Hm. This chapter was the first hint that it might be more than it has seemed so far, so I'm intrigued. anyway, reading on!

Author's Response: I'm loving your reviews and hope they don't stop! They motivate me to keep writing.

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Review #32, by marauderfanHogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - Leonore

24th July 2014:
I love this! What a great missing moment, I had always wondered how they discovered the passage. Your portrayal of Neville and Aberforth are great. And your Ariana reminds me a little of Luna, so I liked her right away :) Also, I must say I'm really impressed that you kept all of your chapters to 500 words exactly! That's quite an accomplishment! Nice work :)

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Review #33, by marauderfanMy Most Faithful: Grandpa's Little Girl

24th July 2014:
So much happened in this chapter!

Poor Anne. Losing someone so important to you is incredibly hard, and I think you handled her feelings really well. I could perfectly understand her wanting to talk to Tom because he wouldn't give her empty condolences like everyone else. She doesn't want comfort, she wants someone who understands.

I loved the cameo of McGonagall, and Myrtle and Olive. It's fun to see these canon characters show up -especially from the opposite point of view! It's funny too because it's not explicitly stated in canon that Olive was a bully - we only heard the story from Myrtle's POV, who wouldn't have said she was giving Olive a hard time about being a Slytherin. So I like the spin you put on it.

She's still trying the Animagus transformation, huh? I don't think she's a dog. But she is definitely some sort of four legged mammal and I'm still holding with my guess of wolverine! I'm excited to find out :D

Gaaahhh no she should have gone with Joey!!! I like Joey! Instead she's going to spend the whole time sulking because Tom sure isn't going with her.

One question about continuity - earlier in the chapter Anne says Tom found "a spell" called the Imperius curse, implying that she doesn't know much about it, but then later on she says it's one of the most well known, illegal curses in the world, so that didn't quite match up.

Otherwise, though - this story is really good! It's addicting! I really should be reading stuff for work at the moment but this story is way more interesting :)

Author's Response: Hahah thanks so much, I'll definitely go back and check the chapter for continuity, I'm glad you caught that!

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Review #34, by marauderfanTrue Romance: Don't You Want Me

24th July 2014:


Is that closure? I think it is! Aw, they're growing up!! I'm so proud! Even though Corbin is like a 4/10 and Scorpius can do better. At least he's not Archie.

Does everyone in Brandon's family have a name that starts with B? because I count three so far: Brandon, Beatrice, and Brad. That means all their initials are BS. That's kind of sad.

Showers are the best place to sing, they have fabulous acoustics.

EEEK oh wait she's okay. I probably would have overreacted/had no idea what to do as well. I sympathise with Albus :p


Mmhmm. Lily was at a "meeting". Riiight.

God, I can SO sympathise with Rose. I can hardly blame her for being bitter and annoyed about other people's happy relationships because she's perpetually single. But hey, single is better than being with Archie. Lily needs a new bf. Anyway, I love the banter between the girls!

Awesome chapter!!

Author's Response: YAY FOR SLOW MO SIR POUNCE!


They have closure!! Um, yeah, Scorpius can do better but Corbin is like his training bike. And, he's not Archie.

Um, yes, they all do. Mainly because I could see it being a theme with Beatrice and Brad's parents then beatrice named Brandon in honor of her brother, continuing the BS. (haha, get it...) At least Cora will move them into the next letter of the alphabet. CS. AND IF ALBUS STAYS AROUND, THEY CAN BE ABC! Clearly I've been thinking about this too much.

Showers are a good place for singing and anything else relationship-y that needs to happen.


oh wow. I take it you liked thier little talk. :P I LIKED IT TOO!!

haha, don't you have meetings like that at work? :P neither do I

Poor Rose. She's struggling to own her cool, awesome, independent lifestyle. Single is better than Archie. yay for banter!! They're banter-cousins!



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Review #35, by marauderfanBackground Noise: The Curse of Carkett Close

24th July 2014:
Omg... Teh, this is the most brilliant. I think I saw it appear in the recently added list a while back, but I didn't realise it was you! Ahh I just love everything about it. You had me at the line "drunk old man reincarnated as a princess."

So... My prediction: Jo is going to be (or secretly already is) a musician. Because they all die at 27.

Lavender Brown and Padma Patil. There’s quite a story behind how they got together -- YES THERE IS AND YOU WROTE IT AND IT'S BRILLIANT! Hah, I love the reference to A Lightness here. How meta. (Ps, so Lavender didn't die at the end of that! I always did wonder. :P )

Nora can see the past. What a unique ability. It's almost like she can tell when it's already raining. Sidenote, I love that James is a renowned fortune teller. And I loved your (not so) sly dig at sensationalised media with all the couple names (Jellie.. haha) and the headlines of the Daily Prophet. ELDEST SON OF HARRY POTTER TO HIT THE THREE BROOMSTICKS ON AUGUST 31st. -- just, pure gold.

One Dimension. God, this is hilarious. WHERE DID THIS FIC COME FROM?


I sympathise with her about having to work on her birthday, though. Sidenote: What exactly IS her job? I think she has a lot of fancy words but no actual job. :P

It used to be the Carkett Close Apothecary, but then the owner turned twenty-seven and got run over by the Knight Bus. -- Aahaha. There is something so hilariously blunt in the way Jo narrates it and throws in the random tidbits about dying, it reminds me a little of Kurt Vonnegut. (and that's a huge compliment as I love Vonnegut)

The bar is owned by clowns. Of course. I'm learning to not be surprised by anything in this story because it's all so mad. All the clowns names had me laughing out loud. And the fact that anytime Sleazy speaks, he is accompanied by the adverb "sleazily." Hahaha

Lysander Scamander! Ooh, this is going to be good. I love him already, how he's wearing blindingly bright yellow robes. And look, there's DENNIS CREEVEY! I appreciated his cameo in here. I think he's been in like 95% of your fics. :D

Sorry this review degenerated into ASKJLDLFJKWH-ing, but I really have no words. This fic is completely brilliant and mad and I have no idea how it even ended up existing, but whatever you did, keep doing it. I'm favouriting this for sure. ♥

Author's Response: Kristin! ♥

You've discovered my *cough* not so secret story, which I've been trying to shove under the table and let nobody see. :P Bahaha, thanks for this awesome and lovely shouty review! Love it when reviewers hit capslock.

Teehee, I had this story floating about my brainspace for some time, and only when I signed up for that challenge did I sit down to write it and I did try to fit that weird and wacky prompt in.

Jo a musician? :O She doesn't sound particularly musically gifted to me. :P Look, she doesn't even like One Dimension, a band that almost everybody in the wizarding world loves!



What is Jo's job indeed. The reason why she's being so obscure is because I hadn't decided while I was writing that chapter bahaha. Well, I've sort of decided now, I guess. This is a make-up-as-you-go sort of story. Planning-free! So I don't waste all my hours thinking of a coherent plot.

Ah, Vonnegut. So it goes, so it goes. :P

I have nothing to say about clowns. :P :P

And that /is/ Dennis Creevey indeed! You can always rely on him to turn up in the most unlikeliest of places.

Yeah, lol, I don't know how this ended up existing either, I don't even know how I myself ended up existing, or why anything else has...wait, a minute,,. EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.

You're favouriting this? Why would you do that?!?! You have a very...odd taste in fic.



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Review #36, by marauderfanHogwarts Reclaimed: Hufflepuff- MischiefNotQuiteMannaged

23rd July 2014:
Your first ever fic!!! ★ Congrats!

This is a really interesting fic, I don't think I've seen a perspective quite like this before. What I love the most is that the narrator is left completely anonymous. I could see it being one of the students or teachers who helped bring the DA/Order/Hogwarts to victory, or especially (and this is the idea I think I like the most) it's narrated by the ghost of someone who died during the battle, telling everyone who survived just how thankful they are about the victory of good over evil. Kind of like a "thanks for all you did, my death was not in vain, now go live your lives because I can't anymore" sort of thing. Really well done! Great work!

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Review #37, by marauderfanMy Most Faithful: Growing Up

23rd July 2014:
I love love love how you've tied history into this. Firstly with Gone with the Wind - I was laughing when Anne said she loved Scarlett O'Hara. Personally I always found Scarlett so obnoxious and greedy how she took everything for granted and wanted more... but she does have a certain vivacity and power to her and I can DEFINITELY see how Anne admires her! So yeah, that was great.

It's nice to see Anne having friends other than Tom, because I feel like they provide a really necessary balance for her. And they probably could have helped her avoid whatever happened to her far in the future, if it weren't for the war.

I'm really glad you incorporated WWII in here, as it sets the stage so well for why Anne stuck with Tom for so long in his hatred of Muggles. Excellent chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, hope you keep reading :)

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Review #38, by marauderfanMy Most Faithful: Nott & Nagini

23rd July 2014:
Hello! I'm sorry I've been a bad reviewer so far! The temptation to click "next chapter" is too great ;) Anyway, I am still here and enjoying the story!

I kind of love Joey... Please tell me you don't kill him off later. O_O I have this ominous feeling whenever I read a scene with him, like "this is too good to last" because this is a fic about Voldemort. Um... eek. That's all.

I like that you've shown how difficult it is to become an Animagus, how even determined Anne had to give up and attempt something new. (Though I'm curious what she would have been. Maybe a wolverine or something.) But I think it's good that she did switch tracks, because Legilimency will be a useful skill to have around Tom. Maybe Occlumency would be better, though! ;)

“Ya know, you should be a little nicer, kid. Who do you think you are? If I wanna see your snake, I’m gonna see your damn snake until I’m good and satisfied.” -- HAhaha *snort* Ok, I know this is a serious scene and all, but.. Could he have possibly said this in a more ridiculous way?! Ahem. Sorry that my mind lives in a gutter. Back to the story.

The rest of that scene was really intense though! I am not surprised about the way Tom waited to let the information be known to the rest of the Slytherins, about him being a Parseltongue. He won't just tell people, he has to show off and make them really in awe of him. So true to his character.

Anne sure does know how to play her cards to get in Tom's good graces.

I love the little italic bits from future-Anne. And this one in particular. So ominous. Gah I'm worried something is going to happen to Joey.

And as for the 7th of September 1940, if I'm correct then her grandfather was killed in the beginning of the Blitz in the second world war. Such a destructive Muggle war would definitely put Anne along the same line as Tom in hating Muggles. Ok, reading on now! Awesome chapter!

Author's Response: HAHAH i didn't even think about the snake scene like that but now i'm laughing too. Whoops. As for the rest, I'm glad you liked it!

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Review #39, by marauderfanHogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - kenpo

23rd July 2014:
Awww! This brought tears to my eyes! Omg, I love stories about the Creeveys and this was just asdfksjkl. So much emotion in such a short piece - and even though it's incredibly sad as it's about Colin's death, he lives on through his pictures and in how many lives he touched. This is seriously beautiful. Well done.

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Review #40, by marauderfanHogwarts Reclaimed: Hufflepuff - SereneChaos

23rd July 2014:
This is cute :D I like that Colin entertains the idea of haunting Death Eaters if they hurt Harry. I wouldn't expect anything else of ghost-Colin. And your portrayal of Moaning Myrtle is perfect, like she's right off the pages of the books. Um, have to say though, my favourite part is that you used the word 'ectoplasm' in your fic. WIN. 100 points to Hufflepuff. ☆

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Review #41, by marauderfanAn Illusion of Sanity: The One Where Jelly is Jam

23rd July 2014:
Hello there! I'm here with your requested review - it seems I did the first chapter for a swap (like a year ago) so I'm reviewing this chapter now.

So. Since Perri's past is still a mystery at this point, I'm over analyzing everything she says about time and the weather. Here's what I've come up with: She's from the Southeastern USA, based on the five hour time difference, and the fact that Scotland in September seems cold to her. Am I close? :P

No idea what made her transfer though - you've let a little more of the mystery through but withheld enough information to keep people coming back for more! So the pacing of the information is really good.

As for the characters - they all seem a pretty happy-go-lucky bunch. Fred and Roxanne were pretty amusing, particularly the day after Fred and Perri's late night escapade to the kitchen. But the character I'm most intrigued by is Perri herself. She has good social skills, is cheerful and seems to integrate so well with the Weasleys, but she has this mysterious dark past - which so far hasn't shown up much in her character and I'm wondering if it affects her but she hides it, or if she has forgotten, or if she went insane and there's something wrong with her (after all, the story title and the hint that she transferred schools due to some sanity related 'incident'.) So yeah, I'm curious.

As for story flow - it's good, and well paced so far. I'm not sure where it's headed yet as this seems to be primarily the exposition still, but it's not boring by any means. I like it.

Some little picky details you might want to fix with a quick edit:
At one point she says it's 10pm at home while it's 3am in Scotland, but then in the next paragraph she says she's "sitting around like it's lunch time" - unless she eats lunch at 10pm maybe this should say dinner time at the earliest.

And here: “Careful,” I jumped, stumbling forwards and catching myself on the stone wall. “I think the stairs are much more efficient means of descent.” -- It sounds like she is the one saying this (to herself). Maybe add something in there like '"Careful," said a voice, and I jumped.'

Anyway, those are both small things. Overall it was a lovely chapter, and I think you're doing great work on this! :)

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for your lovely review! As for where Perri's from, you are right! She's from somewhere that has more mild falls than Scotland (I still haven't picked a definitive state...oops). I'm very glad you like Fred and Roxy and especially Perri! Yes, she is rather dark and mysterious. Her past will come through, and you'll see how it's affecting her!

I went right over to the story and fixed those details right away! Thank you so much for the review!

xx Rachel

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Review #42, by marauderfanNike: Don't Step Inside My Space Bubble

23rd July 2014:
For our review swap!

Ok, based on the first two paragraphs: Nike is a Slytherin. She's got this weird parallel to Tom Riddle as well in that she has no friends, just followers. Hm. That's a bit worrisome.

The scene with her ah, "co-workers" aka not-quite-friends, was interesting. What exactly do they want with information about Albus? And why is his own cousin getting involved in whatever shady project this is? What happened between Dom and the other Potters/Weasleys? It sounds pretty serious for her to not speak to them anymore.

Well, I may be wrong, but so far this seems to be told from the POV of the antagonist, which always makes for good reading. :D But I like her so far, she's a really intriguing character and the story is quite original. I'll be interested to see where this goes! Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Yes yes yes Nike is a Slytherin. She reminds you of T-Rizzle? Coolio. But don't worry- she's got friends, though at the moment she doesn't realize them as such and I'm about to give away the whole plot poopy. Dom and the rest of the Wotters? Pfft, they're fine... Well, not really. And yes, this story is a protagonist's POV.

Basically, this story is about screwed up people trying to fix themselves. All will become clearer... Eventually.

Thanks for the review swap!

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Review #43, by marauderfanWide Awake : I Shot the Sheriff

23rd July 2014:
Hi there! After you left me a few absolutely lovely reviews on my own fic, when I saw this in the recently updated I decided it was time to share the love! :)

First off, I looked at the list of chapter titles and I love that they're all songs from around that time period, clever ;) But I'm getting ahead of myself!

Aw, poor James. That must be so much pressure and so nervewracking - even though he's trying to be a good leader, I imagine Lily isn't too thrilled that he's Head Boy after all his rulebreaking indiscretions in previous years. I like Marianne so far, though - given the one scene she's been in, she seems like a good friend for James to get started on the right foot in his new authority position.

I kind of love that Sirius' other friends outside of the Marauders are an actual band. That seems very appropriate - he would have friends like that :D And yeah, he would decide to throw a party with a band without considering how loud it would be!

Your portrayal of Remus is exactly how I would imagine him to be - critical of his friends' ideas for foolish mayhem but secretly the mastermind behind it all. Because if anyone can get their dumb ideas to work out, it's him.

Ahahaa, this line about Peter: he liked to remind his three best friends that he was the only one with a steady relationship out of the bunch. It was the only way he was superior to all of them. -- brilliant! Ha, I could so see this being the case. And when he takes his plate off the table and looks all shifty-eyed at his friends as they have a food fight, that made me laugh. Peter doesn't get enough recognition in a lot of Marauders fics so I love that you gave him his own story here.

This is a great start! I'm excited to read more :)

Author's Response: Omg, hello! Thank you for reviewing my story - I feel the love-sharing and it makes me so happy!

Ah yes, the music. I am a total tune junky, so I knew I wanted to quote lyrics at the beginning of each chapter ... but when I decided to only do 70s grooves, I got even more excited/into it. I love old school stuff!

If you keep reading, you'll see James handle the pressure a lot better. I've never written Jily before, but I knew that if Lily finally accepted him, he needed to mature. So right now he's shaky and afraid, but that's on purpose. As for Marianne ... well you'll see where she fits in XD

When I first thought of Gemma, I knew she had to be a music junky (as she's partly based on me) and I also knew she needed a random connection to Sirius. I feel like all fics have a train ride/compartment scene, so I decided to spice mine up a bit!

Remus was really fun to write too. Remus/OC fics are my total weakness so I really enjoyed playing with his thoughts about romance. Also, JK had just released her new stuff on him, so a lot of that influenced me. But his relationship with Tonks ultimately shaped his subplot.

Peter's subplot, on the other hand, used to be my least favorite. I really hated writing Aeryn too. But as they progressed, they became one of my favorites. Well, actually, all the characters all my favorites. I love them to bits!! But yeah, he's fun to read.

Thank you so much for your amazing review, I hope you read on!

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Review #44, by marauderfanEverto Trucido: Halloween, 1976 -- Part One

23rd July 2014:
RUMPEL! Long time no chapter. (That sounded better in my head. Also, I apologise in advance as it's past midnight and I'm probably just going to ramble away for this entire review. You've been warned.) Anyway, yay.

It almost seemed peaceful. -- Ah, if only. I have a feeling the peace is going to last approximately 4 seconds before something happens, like a zombie jumps out of a black hole in the floor and Grace slays it with her BA demon slaying powers.

Sudden flash of green light. Mm, I called it. (Kind of. Without the zombies and black holes.) WHY IS SHE BAREFOOT WHILE SHE GOES OFF TO SLAY VAMPIRES? SHE'S GOING TO STEP ON A NAIL OR A VAMPIRE FANG AND GET TETANUS.

OMG SCARIEST DREAM EVER. Sorry this is like a shout-fest so far. I'll try to ease off on the capslock.

Grace's Bath Interruption #64, brought to you by Marlene.

Lololol only to Grace does spending the afternoon with Snape sound like more fun than partying with the Marauders. *eyeroll* Oh... well I guess there is that legitimate reason of awkwardness with Remus. Also, YOU WROTE SIRIUS' BIRTHDAY AS HALLOWEEN? Cruel. The Universe gave Sirius the WORST birthday present in 1981. Happy birthday, your best friends are dead. So it goes. :P

I like Anne, even though she's never actually appeared in the story apart from in letters or memories. I feel like she needs to meet Remus, because she'd be able to knock some sense into him so he stops being so self-deprecating. Like she could give him the "This is how to be awesome and confident and appreciate who you are even though you're a werewolf" talk.

“The two of you really need to get out and have a little fun,” Marlene insisted, “before you guys are too old to actually have fun.” -- Listen to her, Lily! (Because you'll never actually get that old.)... :[

Grace has a lot of self control in this scene with Regulus taunting her. I'm impressed - I might have slapped him. Also, I know this isn't supposed to be funny but that scene when Grace fell on Snape and then rather than getting up and worrying about acidic potions dissolving her textbook, she cuddles into Snape's arm XD Haaahaha I kind of loved that.

You write teenage Snape really well. He sounds a lot like adult Snape, just slightly less eloquent and bitter and angry - but still somewhat bitter and angry because he's Snape. :P Anyway, your portrayal of him is really good!

I'm sorry about the complete hodgepodge of shouting and rambling that is this review but it was a fantastic chapter! It was good to see a new chapter of this story :) Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: Hahaha...I need to get better about updating. Also, I'm fairly sure that all of the reviews you've received from me have been full of rambles, so I think I'll survive a ramble from you ;).

Zombies! ...erm...nope no zombies here! What gave it away? :p Yup, you called it! She should have known she wasn't awake, being barefoot in the middle of the night on a street that she didn't recognize...and couldn't remember how she got there. Silly Grace. She'll have to remember her shoes to protect against vampire tetanus, haha!

Bathing interruptions seem to be the common theme for the girls' interactions, so I didn't want to break tradition ^.^.

I *almost* had her go to the party instead...but then I wouldn't have been able to write my fun potion-making, you know ;). I DID make Sirius' birthday on Halloween! :D I thought it would be fantastic irony (and give me something to work with, as I'm considering an ongoing Halloween chapter each year until...well, you know). Happy birthday!...oh, and not to mention, he gets blamed for it (Sirius will not be having the best of luck, will he?).

Anne will come around eventually. If we jump back to the prologue (which was still fairly muddled way back when you first read it), Remus' first baby will be with Anne -- so, she'll be around. *Evil laugh*. *Cough* I think having a talk with another werewolf -- especially one that accepts her condition -- will be good for Remus.

Feels :(.

Grace did have a lot of self control, especially for Grace. I would've slapped him, too. Hahaha, I laughed while I was writing that, so I suppose it could be taken as a funny scene (it amused me, anyway). And who wouldn't want to cuddle Snape when an acidic potion is destroying everything in its path? O.o Erm. Don't answer that.

^.^ Yay, I'm glad you like the teenage version of him (I've been trying not to make him sound too overly adult Snape-y).

This was an absolutely fantastic rambly review! (I'll try to update more often...bad Rumpel). Thanks so much!


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Review #45, by marauderfanThorns of Time: Thorns of Time

22nd July 2014:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review - and sorry about the delay, so busy with the house cup (PS: HUFFLEPUFF!!!)

Okay, so, wow. I love the way you've written Penelope. In the books she doesn't have much of a personality apart from being "Percy's girlfriend", but here she is a three-dimensional and ultimately very real character - particularly just because I could relate to her so much the way you described her.

The character development in such a short fic is wonderful too. You've shown Penelope at a point where she has matured since Hogwarts, but is still vulnerable and running, hence her continuing to run at the end after she's already considered everything. In a way, I'm glad she ran before she talked to Percy, because now she has to really find herself and become her own person rather than escaping back to the past when she gets lonely. She now has to move forward rather than back. And of course, I looove ambiguous, unresolved endings so I thought that was perfect :)

Your writing style is beautiful, too. It's very simple, not wordy, but has just enough to get the feelings across clearly. You use your words well.

My only CC is this: The first half, while I understand that it is necessary to provide the full backstory in order to contextualize Penelope as a character at this particular point in time on the train, I feel like there was a lot of telling. It doesn't feel so much like she's thinking about her memories, as it feels like telling a story. So I think it would help the first section to change the wording in some areas to make it feel like we're in Penelope's mind, reliving the memories of running, adventuring, experiencing, and ultimately missing what she left behind. Since this is really all in her head (nothing is happening except her looking out the train window and remembering), let the fact that it's all a memory be the way you describe what happened in the past. (Am I even making sense? :p)

And lastly, this is just a small thing but there's a typo here: where she was greeted with a sight which couldn’t completely absorb initially. -- I think instead of "which" that would make more sense as "she"

Overall, this was really great! Wonderful job on this fic, and thanks for requesting! :)

Author's Response: Ahh thank you! No worries for the wait, this review was wonderful and long and very helpful so it more than makes up for it :)

I'm so happy you liked Penelope's character development and the writing style, it means a lot!

Your CC is very helpful as well. I tend to have an issue with telling rather than showing, so it's good to know that I need to work on, and I appreciate you letting me know exactly where I can do that. And thanks for spotting that typo, too, I'll need up update this :)

Thanks so much for the lovely review! I truly appreciate you taking the time to read/review!

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Review #46, by marauderfanTrue Romance: Ice Cream

22nd July 2014:
Teddy's son is named Remus! Aww! And he is the cutest! I love that Albus went to Teddy for help, I like the idea that he was the person Albus often went to as a kid when he was troubled about something.

NO ROSE (Weasley), I DO NOT LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE THINKING. STAY AWAY. Nooo why didn't she listen to me?!

Corbin seemed slightly less awful here. I don't hate him, and he didn't seem like Gollum, so these are steps in the right direction. Maybe he's getting less possessive as he gets more comfortable in the relationship - at least he's giving Scorpius some time.

Awesome chapter!

Love, Sir Pounce (who pounces very slowly apparently, so I am not sure about the validity of your nickname for me)

Author's Response: YES. I GOT YOU WITH THE REMUS AND TEDDY FEELS. muhahaha. Yeah, I felt like they'd have a closer relationship but maybe that it's not been features in PI/TR. I dunno, Teddy is about 8 years older and would be in a difference place in his life.


WHOO! I'll take slightly less awful! he's making baby steps in the relationship (and in the eyes of my readers).

SIR POUNCE IS A VALID NICKNAME! You were just out catching mice and took a while to come back.

Thank you for the awesome reviews!!


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Review #47, by marauderfanTrue Romance: Only Myself to Blame

22nd July 2014:

Um, I want to immediately go on to the next chapter, but you deserve at least a little review on this chapter beforehand, so here's this:

Brandon and Albus' discussion: completely understand Albus being a little nervous about making such huge decisions, but at the same time I ♥ Branbus and I think Albus should decide he wants to be with Brandon. Because awww.

Henrik = ew. The "client" comment was priceless though- Pedro seems cooler than Henrik who apparently can't read signals at all. In Henrik's defense though, Rose did agree to give him a tour of the local nightlife by themselves, so I'm not sure how she didn't suspect anything in the first place. Anyway.

I still don't like Archie. Granted, the observatory would be super cool, but wow way too dramatic and sappy and sweeping romantic gestures and ugh. gag. I mean, he's like one step short of writing an opera for her (which I assume is next.) I hope Harry scowls at him for the entire brunch meeting together.

Aaand next chapter now!

Author's Response: I'LL WORK ON SLOWING DOWN IN A VERY SLOW MANNER :P that didn't make sense.

I'M GLAD YOU STOPPED TO LEAVE A REVIEW. I like getting the bit by bit feedback and yelling.

I'm happy thier conversation didn't incite more Albus hate. I mean, he's being a bit waffle-y but I thought honesty would be best there. I'LL SETTLE BRANBUS SOON. don't you worry.

:D The client comment had me giggling quite a bit. I mean, in Spanish you'd say it like that. Pedro is much, much cooler (in my head he's the same guy who plays the red viper - but that was after I picked the name pedro). Yeah, Rose is definitely learning a few things about professional versus flirty behavior.

ARCHIE TRIED SO HARD FOR YOU TO LIKE HIM. *makes note to include opera in upcoming chapters* okay, it's probably just me but *I'd* go for hte cheesy operatic declaration of love. :D um, of course Harry is going to scowl at him during brunch.

thank you for stopping by before the next chapter!!!


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Review #48, by marauderfanStand Tall: Eyes Meet

22nd July 2014:
Hello :) I read the first chapter of this a few weeks ago, so now I'm back for another chapter!

This was just as good as your first chapter! I felt so badly for Alba in the beginning - of course James is just trying to do what's right, and Alba does need help for her leg, but poor thing to have to regress so far with her treatment. :( Her analysis of feeling like a number/a list of injuries instead of a person was really moving, too.

I loved the feast though, particularly the fact that Hagrid is still there, along with Grawp! Haahaha I can't even imagine Grawp 20 years later, like does he actually talk to people now, or just grunt and say 'Hermy'? haha /tangent

I'm also impressed with your writing of Chandra so far. I was really hoping she wouldn't be so one-dimensional as she appeared in the first chapter, so it was really nice to see that she does indeed have redeeming qualities - she might speak before she thinks sometimes (like in the first chapter) but she does care. A much more complex character that way ;)

The scene with Ben and Alba: adorable. Loved it so much. And ooh, James is jealous ;) Sidenote, what is he doing at the top of Ravenclaw tower with desserts? he went all the way up there just to see Alba? aw, that's cute.

Great chapter!

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Review #49, by marauderfanOne Blaze of Glory: Only Blue, Lonely Blue

22nd July 2014:

It's so sad to see Maria in a situation like this, she is suffering so much. At least she has admitted she has a problem, and has friends who are trying to help her. What a difficult situation too - how getting her off Euphoria will be good for her in the long run, but in the short run it will destroy her and there's not much of her left anymore as she's so thin and ill.

The tidbit about Nadia supplying Maria with the potion for all those years was interesting too. It's a complicated issue and when you're trying to do the right thing for someone, what exactly is the right thing? She was hurting Maria more than helping, regardless of how she thought about it - it's sad, but also I like the way it shows how even the best people make mistakes. I don't know, I just like the moral ambiguity there I guess :p

Sounds like a lot of people are trying to move to Canada. I hope that Romulus meets up with Aisling wherever they end up going, because I think Romulus isn't going to go back to his friends of his own volition, but only if he runs into one of them.

Omg but the end, Fenrir came into Maria's flat to be creepy? What is he doing adkjfkasdjkfl please update soon because I can't handle the suspense.

Excellent chapter!

Author's Response: I love you so much for reviewing so quickly! Thank you thank you thank you!

Marietta is my idol. Sometimes. Parts of her. Toned down a little. She's really fun to write, at least.

Yaaay for moral ambiguity. There's a lot of that here. I think that Nadia's issue was that she would try too hard to make others happy and make sure that everyone liked her. She always had good intentions, but didn't always know where to draw the line.

And Maria... yeah... yeah... she's pretty stuck. And everyone around her is pretty stuck. It gets pretty sticky.

Yes there's Canada and that's all I can say about that. :D

Yes there's Fenrir and that's all I can say about that. :D

I'll update as soon as I get the next chapter all edited! Hopefully in the next 2 weeks, but I can't make any promises because Rumpel and I tend to keep going over and over forever.

Thank you so so so much for reviewing, it really means the world to me!!


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Review #50, by marauderfanJust an Atypical Saturday: Rise and Shine

21st July 2014:
Hi Madi! I'm here with your requested review!

All right, I'm going to start this of with a big AWWW ♥ ♡ ♥ This was adorable. As much as I love the canon Neville/Hannah and Luna/Rolf, there is something really cute about Neville/Luna and before JKR said anything to the contrary, I totally shipped these two :D

For a short fic, you really got the fluffy, cheerful mood across very well. Everything about this fic is happy, both with romantic relationships and friendships, the latter of which we know is particularly important to Luna so I loved that you included that scene with Harry :)

I loved the way you wrote Harry! Especially the fact that he let Luna put an anti-Nargle charm on his house just because she thought it was important (though I doubt Harry is that worried about Nargles, of course.) It's exactly the sort of thing Harry would do to be a good friend and not push Luna's feelings aside.

I also thought it was really quirky and appropriately Luna-ish for her to wake Neville up with balloons and confetti :D The thing that stuck out to me about Luna in this, though, was her dialogue, and that's where I'd like to suggest some CC. Luna is a rather tricky character to write because she's such an interesting balance of dreamy and direct, and I mostly got the 'direct' vibe from her in this story - she seemed a bit more focused than JKR wrote her. Here's what I mean:

“Come on darling, we have loads of work to do today. We’ve got our anniversary to plan for, your birthday party to plan, we have to stop at your mother’s (which will take at least three hours), and we need to fix that wall and plant the garden, and get the cat more food and litter...” -- Luna is listing plans and things that need to get done, in a way that makes her almost sound a bit like Hermione - very goal focused.

What I suggest (this is what I do when I write Luna) : If you haven't done this already - when you write Luna, try to hear her voice saying her lines in your head. That way if anything doesn't quite sound like her, it will stand out more and you'll notice. So yeah, I think a little touching-up on Luna's dialogue could help the story out a lot to make Luna seem more Luna-ish (there's really no other word to describe it haha), but otherwise this was a lovely fic!

I hope that helps! Thanks for requesting this story, I have a big smile on my face now after reading such happy fluff :D

Author's Response: Hello!! :)

*blushes" Oh, stop it you!!

I'm very glad you think I got the fluffy and cheerful tone across well--fluff isn't my usual cup of tea so that's very nice to hear! I figured that since Luna had a surprise for Neville, why not wake him up extravagantly? Yay, I'm happy Harry was characterized well in your eyes, as he's one of the more difficult characters for me to write.

With Luna's dialogue, I agree wholeheartedly that it is very Hermione-ish (oh the woes of a Dramione novel author where it's mainly in her POV). I'll have to go in and change what she's saying to be more Luna-ish. I just might have to use your tip! :)

Thank you so much for the wonderful and lengthy review, it's much appreciated!! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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