Reading Reviews From Member: marauderfan
  
1,467 Reviews Found

Review #26, by marauderfanto the end of time: Move In

20th June 2016:
now they're flatmates! I have a weakness for flatmates-falling-in-love stories. Also I gotta say that either Parvati is incredible at keeping her feelings under wraps, or Lavender is kind of oblivious. That crush has been going strong for years by this point. Obviously nothing gets past Padma though, because no one knows Parvati like her twin!

I also like that you weaved Lavender's trauma into the story, because of course she's not doing just fine after what she went through. Things are different now, Lavender is different. But the two girls are still best friends (and yeah they've already lived together for 7 years at Hogwarts!)

I like Padma in this story. Yeah, she kind of comes across as a wet blanket at times because she's the Voice of Reason who's questioning Parvati's decisions, but... a lot of what she's saying makes sense. She kind of gets Parvati out of her head for a bit because she has some distance from the situation and can maybe see it clearer than Parvati. But of course Parvati kind of seems too stubborn to listen to her :P Besides, what's the worst that could happen? (... famous last words)

suddenly I'm legit addicted to this story it's tooo good

 Report Review

Review #27, by marauderfanto the end of time: Should Have Said

20th June 2016:
ahh, this was such an emotional chapter! And that first scene really added so much. I mean, we know what happens to Lavender in the battle, but having that extra scene beforehand when Parvati thinks of telling her friend how she feels, and then that chance slips away - it could have ended SO sadly. I'm so happy Lavender is going to live though! I also feel like what just happened is a pretty strong impetus for her to tell Lavender in the next chapter ;)

The second scene was just heartwrenching, with her and Padma and Seamus, and Parvati's terror and desperation just radiating off the page. I can't believe this chapter is as short as it is because it has so much in it, it just feels way longer. You did an amazing job conveying Parvati's emotions during this terrifying time for her, and it was lovely to see another appearance of her sister and some of her other friends and their wonderful support network.

Aaah! still loving this story so much!

 Report Review

Review #28, by marauderfanto the end of time: My Sweetheart

20th June 2016:
Hey Claire! I'm here for the Pride weekend reviewing event on HPFT!

I'd totally been looking forward to this moment, and it did not disappoint :D Parvati's reaction to that necklace was about as perfect as I could have asked for. She's honest, as any good friend is - says it's not very much like Ron and maybe it's more of something Lavender would want - but she's also supportive. Even if it means lying a bit to cheer her up haha.

I continue to really love your characterization of Lavender. She is so much more than she is in the books, while still keeping those characteristics that make her who she is. She's still giggly and buys dumb gifts for Ron, but I loved that scene at the end where she realizes why Parvati is upset (or what Parvati tells her, at least) and she's not angry or anything, she forgives Parvati immediately and they make sure to have more best friend time. And that's so important. Even if the two of them never get together romantically, I'd still love this story because of its beautiful portrayal of friendship between two girls (which is often neglected in movies and other media in favour of romantic storylines instead. i could rant about this for a while so i'll stop haha) SO anyway. I love Parvati and Lavender as friends, just as much as I love the idea of them as a future couple :)

Great chapter!

 Report Review

Review #29, by marauderfanLet Perpetual Light: The Last Enemy

17th June 2016:
First of all - congratulations on finishing your first novel!!! ♥ That's such an exciting accomplishment :) *slices a celebratory cake*

This was such a great chapter. It really did justice to the story of the Dumbledores which we knew the bare bones of from the books, but this filled in all the gaps in such a rich way. I also like that you started and ended the novel in similar ways - although sad (as both chapters involved a funeral), it had the effect of sort of bringing things back around where they started, whereas the situations and the characters have changed in the meantime.

Grindelwald's letter in the beginning is markedly different from his earlier ones. The other ones were all sort of mocking and selfish, like Gellert enjoys the idea of tormenting Albus even from far away, partly because he's still bitter at Albus not going with him and for things not working out how Gellert wanted, I think, and also partly because he's bored in prison. Mostly the letters are for himself, even if he sends them to Albus. But this last one really is for Albus, and it seems to be the most honest Gellert has been in this novel. The fun of sending passive-aggressive letters has worn off, and he's still not happy. Though, because this is Gellert, I suppose part of the letter really is still selfish. I think he's trying to clear his own conscience as well.

The way you wrote Gellert's grief at Ariana's death was so perfect as well - particularly the image of him going back to Bathilda's house and collapsing (and Bathilda having no idea what to do), and then almost immediately putting on his mask again and carrying on. Obviously he's upset, but he's not really sure how to process it. Even if the reason for his being upset wasn't totally about Ariana, and more that Gellert never figured her out and that he might have been partly responsible for her death, I think that event really affected him - though not enough for him to stop seeking the Hallows. He is still stubborn.

I also noted the vast disparity between his reaction and Albus' reaction - with Gellert being upset and then just as easily moving on, while for Albus it's like the ultimate wake up call. As we know from later Dumbledore, this is the event that really changed him, and it's evident in his reactions and how he talks afterwards to Aberforth and to Gellert. I mean, there's definitely still elements of who Albus always was before, with him trying to convince Aberforth to stay in school, but his stubbornness is gone, in contrast to Gellert.

He turns the space of the kitchen and the living room into spirals of aimless miles. -- I really liked that visual.

Aw, thanks for that shoutout at the end! And aaah, so reading the last chapters of novels is always kind of bittersweet. You know, because I love the satisfaction of finding out how it all ends, but then there's no more! And with this story, which I've been following from the beginning, over 2 years ago, it's kind of sad to not have any more of it to read! But. This was a phenomenal story and I have so enjoyed reading it. You are such a talented writer. And congrats once again on finishing your novel!! ♥

 Report Review

Review #30, by marauderfanHero: Lionheart

5th June 2016:
Sooo, she comes home from finding out this horrible truth and has to pretend everythings just swell during a family Christmas dinner. Oh good. Meanwhile, Tom is in her house and at that very moment discussing Horcruxes with Mr Burke bc he's planning to murder some people. (Well, Burke doesn't know that, but.) LKAJFLKJ

“I am the Heir of Slytherin.” -- Um. I've got a bad feeling about this. Why would he be telling her this unless he planned to make sure she had no way to spread that information around? Something bad is going to happen to Hero and he'll make it look like an accident O__O

^that was when I first began to suspect just how unhappy the end would be but I was still unhappy when I read it. D': I can't believe you did that, you evil author. Well actually, I can believe it. Your Tom Riddle is so believable. I could totally see him doing something exactly like this. He's so confident that he's got the Blishwick family in the palm of his hand, that he's convinced they'll believe his act about 'oh no it was a spider, totally an accident that she died!' Sad thing is they probably will believe him.

Hero never seemed particularly Befuddled to me like the Befuddlement Draught would make her, she just seemed like a normal girl who'd been taken in by Tom's false charm.

As much as I hate that she died, that death scene was incredibly written. I love the metaphor of the curtains closing, and how descriptive those last few paragraphs are. I can envision it so perfectly which is interesting because it's so, so different depending on whether you're looking from outside or from what Hero sees. From the outside, it just looks like Tom is holding her as she dies, he's (pretending to be) worried and caring. But for Hero it's got to be awful, after everything he did to people she loved and to herself, she is unable to move and she's stuck in his arms, especially because after all she's learned, his arms are probably the last place she wants to die. Ughhh. It's just such good writing!

Wow though. I can't believe this story is over! It was so good. I loved Finn as a character, probably because he shows the potential to change and now he's stuck in this weird situation where he'll probably figure out the truth about Hero but can't say anything to Tom or he will meet the same fate. I'm looking forward to seeing the sequel from his POV.

Amazing work on this, Bianca!! ♥ You're such a talented writer and I can't wait to read more from you :)

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much, Kristin, and thank you for sticking until the very end! Your reviews have always been so amazing to receive ♥ ♥ ♥

 Report Review

Review #31, by marauderfanHero: Hangleton

5th June 2016:
ngl it's like impossible to keep up with updates these days since I basically never log on to hpff anymore so imagine my surprise when I saw this story was COMPLETED? I was totally not expecting that we were that close to the end of the story. ah!

It's how she met Noah! OMG, THIS IS GOING TO BE THE CHAPTER SHE FINDS OUT NOAH IS DENNIS FROM THE ORPHANAGE AM I RIGHT

The house’s usual smell of lilies and cleanliness was overpowered by the smell of gingerbread, which was wafting through the house from the kitchen. I wasn’t hungry, but my mouth watered as the smell reached my nostrils. -- I wasn't hungry either, until I read this. Why is there no gingerbread in my mouth right now.

“Hello, Amy,” he said. -- I CALLED IT

Tom is SUCH a jerk. (Surprise to no one) But seriously, he only came in there to freak Amy out. He didn't even order a coffee.

And Darcy's whole story was heartbreaking. I mean, I knew what happened already, but her testimony of how it affected her and Noah was just... :'( Of course she and Noah were protective of her and it explains why she distrusted Hero at first. She'd been told by countless doctors that she was crazy, had these terrors and experiences totally invalidated to the point where she's just holding all this trauma inside and Noah is the only person who understands. And poor Noah as well, having electroshock therapy - that's so severe of a treatment but also really believable for the time period.

Now what? I feel like Tom is going to suspect she's been to see Darcy, or at least will know she's figured out that Tom isn't everything he pretends to be.

The last line worries me as well, because knowing Darcy is angry and that she JUST saw Tom not an hour ago, I think she'll be hell bent on revenge for all he did to her. And... well, basically I don't foresee a happy ending. At all.

I'm going to eat lunch and I will be right back to read that unhappy ending.

PS did you know a group of jellyfish is called a smack?

Author's Response: I was super speedy on the last few chapters, I admit!

Yep, you called it from the start! Well done :D

I hope your lunch was delicious, and a smack of jellyfish is something that makes me laugh when I think about it!

Thank you ♥


 Report Review

Review #32, by marauderfanLiar: Gryffindors

1st June 2016:
Chiara, hi ♥ With the forums offline I've really missed you, but it doesn't mean I can't keep in touch by living in your author page hehe. So now here I go, attempting to read as many of your wonderful stories as I can while the archives are still here! I loved the first chapter of this so I'm back to read more!

Aw, poor Peter. I totally relate to that feeling he has here of being totally out of place and having the sense that everyone is laughing at you :( I feel so bad for him. Why are you making me feel bad for him? It only makes it more difficult knowing what he becomes. (Though this is an AU, right? Maybe Peter doesn't switch sides in this? I'll have to find out...)

He never even knew his mother had siblings. --- oooh is he in for a surprise. She's a Yaxley. So his cousins are going to be...interesting. Cue Peter about to find out about significant family drama the hard way...

Aw, poor Remus. Sadly it isn't too hard to picture this scene, of Remus being kind of ignored by James and Sirius while they're too absorbed in their own conversation and laughter to even notice Remus at first.

"Would you really decide who you want to be, based on who your friends are? Don't you find it childish?"
"Well… I’m eleven... " Peter justified himself sheepishly.
-- This is perfection. Peter has this kind of quiet but wry honesty that I love. And I love that he sasses the Sorting Hat. Also I've always thought it very likely that a huge part of the reason he was sorted into Gryffindor was because he admired Gryffindor traits. And you've managed to show that he even displays bravery (occasionally) and loyalty, which helps explain why he's in Gryffindor.

I honestly really like your portrayal of Peter as an observant person. I haven't seen that before, but it's very true that those who are kind of forgotten about tend to just watch from the sidelines and as such do a lot of watching and listening. Peter makes sense as that person. And it's possible to be an observant person who still struggles at spellwork -those aren't mutually exclusive, because they're different forms of intelligence. Maybe what Peter lacked in school-smarts he made up for in perceptiveness. Anyway, I like that this chapter made me think about that.

Hmmm, wondering how long it will be before Peter figures out Remus' secret. He knows there is a secret, but not what it is. Which totally makes sense, because if Peter could figure it out within a month, others at Hogwarts would probably have figured it out within seven years haha

Also, I gotta say this. Having just read the Lark and the Nightingale (which I LOVED), your amazing improvement in writing is very clear here. I know you wrote that some time ago, and this is your most recent writing, and there's such a difference in terms of your scene setting and character portrayal and just general writing maturity. It's so cool to see that. :D You're such a good writer!!

This is a wonderful chapter, Chiara - great work! ♡ All my love and snowball hugs.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: Aww... Kristin...
I've missed you too! You have no idea how much! *wub*
I've been meaning to send you a DM on Twitter, and to keep reading "Walking the line", but I never got the chance. I'm planning on some reviewing these days, though (days off today and tomorrow!!!) so it's possible that I'll stop by your AP soon! ;)

Actually, I'm glad you can relate to him and feel bad for him. :P And yes, this is AU, but no spoilers, I'm sorry... (actually, if you want spoilers, you can read Jimmy Portman. It won't explain everything, but it'll probably give you an idea about how Liar shall end)

I need to put in more family drama... an idea is forming... mmmh...

Poor Remus... but James and Sirius are simply like that, it's not their fault... :P

So glad you liked Peter's Sorting! He does have this wry honesty! At least at this age, he will change over the years. And Peter is brave in his own way. And he surely admired Gryffindor traits. Glad you liked his portrayal! :D

It's just the way I see him, you know? The quiet one who observes things and keeps information for himself. It's fitting to his character, in my opinion. And it explains why he was such a good spy for Voldemort later on.

Peter knows Remus is hiding something. Discovering what that something is will take some time (and some external help... but you'll find out in the next chapter... :P) Ahahah! It is sort of incredible that no one figured it out except the Marauders and Snape... but I guess people would simply not consider the possibility. And we don't actually know if other people knew...

Aww... thanks... *blushing* I guess my writing has improved a lot since I sstarted. And it's great to know that you feel that way! Thank you so much, love! *wub*

Thank you again for stopping by! And for this incredible, adorable, sweet review! You are the best!

Tons of love and snowball hug!
Chiara


 Report Review

Review #33, by marauderfanHero: Choices

1st June 2016:
Bianca! Hiii! Did you miss me? Actually, don't answer that. :P Anyway, I can't believe I've missed a few updates of this but it's good to get back to it! Things certainly are getting intense.

okay, I was definitely worried about dark magic at the end of the previous chapter with Briony, and now, well there's no evidence that it was, but an allergic reaction doesn't really add up. Nope. Well, it could, but under other circumstances. Not when Tom's doing manipulative things behind the scenes. Everything that's weird, I'll just blame him for. Even if I'm wrong I dont feel too bad blaming him for it anyway it because this is Voldemort we're talking about.

What is Brindley thanking Tom for? Again, shady things going on possibly involving confundus curses and I don't know why she's thanking him because he's the reason she's there, but of course she doesn't know that...

But I do love that scene with Finn and Hero, and how they are becoming closer. I really want Finn to reevaluate his choices and it seems he's getting there - or at least a little wary of Tom now. I like how the two of them are there to support each other, which is especially important for Hero at the moment because, although she hasn't 100% noticed yet, she is pushing everyone else away because of Tom. Tom is so manipulative and it really shows in this chapter (at least to a reader, not to Hero yet) but Hero doesn't really have anyone to rely on anymore. She depends on Tom more and more as she has fewer other friends, and now Emory wants nothing to do with her (understandably, as Hero has been pretty self absorbed lately), and things are weird between Hero and Theo. I bet Tom is at the root of this, pulling the strings so he has everyone right where he wants them. It's so dangerous and I hope Hero realizes it soon..

I wonder if Hero will make the connection between the orphanage and Noah soon. And omg I wonder how things will end up at Christmas at the Blishwick house... sounds scary. This cannot go well...


Great chapter! This story is so addicting

Author's Response: Er, who is this again? JUST KIDDING, of course I missed you! ♥

Ha ha honestly, just blame Tom for everything and you're on the right track! (Brindley doesn't know Tom was the reason, she just sees him as the one who helped her).

Tom being manipulative is exactly what I was going for (was he really any other way? ;))

Thank you so much, my love!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #34, by marauderfanFallen: Goodbye

23rd May 2016:
Hi Angie! I'm sorry it has taken me SO long, but I'm here with prize review 2 of 4 for the Your Least Favourite Challenge.

AAAH so I was not expecting the ending AT. ALL. What a great plot twist. I can certainly see why this story won in the Smut*tastic Challenge, as it dances very close to the line of the ToS with all the steamyness, and then packs a punch at the end that's so totally unexpected but also really fits in with the dark nature of the story. That was really well done.

I also found the premise of this really interesting as you've delved into AU here where the war has been going on for years an all the changes that have come with that, like Draco filling in the role of Snape (so well, in fact, that who even knows what side he's really on?) - it's pretty believable that this could have happened. And that he's managed to convince both sides he's working for them to the point that Hermione actually lets her guard down, I'd imagine that took a while. But that one moment of weakness was what killed her.

You did really well with the dark tone in this. It's a very dark kind of sexy, as it's a purely physical thing they have going and they're each causing the other pain, and then the end just kind of compounds that as it gets even darker when Draco reveals his true colours. I'll give him one thing and that is that he is indeed a good spy, so much that not even Hermione could see past that.

Gah. This story was really great - sexy and intriguing and with a powerful surprising plot twist. Well done!!

 Report Review

Review #35, by marauderfanThe Next Great Adventure: Prologue: An Old Friend

23rd May 2016:
Gift Tag! I've heard such good things about this story, and saw that it was about Dobby, so had to give it a read! And, ouch, this chapter hit me hard. I mean, I guess I knew it would have something to do with dying because of the title, but it was just... really poignant and evocative. Your attention to detail and descriptions of Harry nearing the end of his life and what that feels like for him - just the detail you put into his experiences, and all the thought you put into that, really sets the reader into his shoes. It's sad and very melancholy, of course, but maybe because Harry's already accepted his fate, it also has this sense of peace, of closure. Harry has lived a long, full life by this point and it's just the next step.

Harry appreciated Ginny’s ability to tease him, even when she knew things were dire. -- This is very much Ginny - she was like this as a teenager and I can totally see her being like that when she's old as well. I love that that is one thing that hasn't changed even after 82 years of marriage.

He wanted to offer his family some words of comfort, to encourage them not to waste time mourning because this wasn’t really goodbye so much as a ‘see you later’ -- aw. This is really sweet. And honestly, very comforting for me on this particular day :(

I love that he was able to have his family surrounding him and that he was able to tell them all that he loved them. Death is an unavoidable part of life and it has to happen to each of us eventually, but I was glad Harry got to have things turn out as well as they possibly could as he went through that process. I'm definitely tearing up though :'(

This is a wonderful start, Kaitlin, and I'm sure I'll be back to read more. Amazing work on this.

 Report Review

Review #36, by marauderfanA Very Puppy Christmas: His name is...

22nd May 2016:
Hi Lizzie! I realize there are stories with fewer reviews on your page that I should stop by instead, but like, how can I resist a story about PUPPIES. (Answer: I cannot.)

Awww. I have no words, just a big smile on my face :D This is SO CUTE. I love that Harry rescued an abandoned puppy and helped it get back to health. I had a rescue cat for a while and can totally relate, there's no way to not get attached, and I can't blame Harry. Besides, that'd be the BEST christmas present ever! How lucky is Lily?? What a wonderful surprise!

I loved the way you described Weasley Christmases too, with so many of the family there and the rule that no one can open any presents until everyone is there- leads to a big celebration. I have to say though, after Lily's present anything else would seem anticlimactic :P

This was such an adorable story and I absolutely loved it! ♥

Author's Response: Oh don't worry, I can totally understand choosing to review this story over others - I know very few who can resist the power of a puppy! :D

Awe! Thank you!! I'm so glad that you liked this story!!

Weasley Christmases are basically Christmases with my family. I LOVE Christmas and it's all because of that.

Hehehe, that's probably true. But I'd feel horrible if little Snuffles was left in a box while everyone opened their presents first. I mean, can you imagine how long that'd take for everyone? The poor thing would be stuck in there forever!!

Thank you so much for leaving such a wonderful review! You're absolutely amazing!!
Keep writing!
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #37, by marauderfanThe Worst Birthday Ever: Of All The Days To Be Born

20th May 2016:
More for the Hot Seat! :)

Aw, poor Dom, I really felt bad for her in the beginning. It sucks to go unnoticed on a special day like that. Especially when you share a birthday with a big holiday and everyone else is kind of wrapped up in their own things, she probably feels like her birthday isn't as important to anyone else because it coincides with Valentine's Day. :( So yeah, while she was a bit grumpy in the beginning of this, it wasn't without reason. Especially at that age when birthdays are still really important.

I like that it was the most unlikely person who came to cheer her up. I imagine she felt it was kind of lame that it was her little brother who was the only one who cared to ask what was wrong. But he threw her a surprise party! And she didn't even suspect anything :D That was really cute, and I love that all her friends were there and had neglected Valentines Day instead to spend time with Dominique on her birthday :)

Cute story!

Author's Response: Ye!! I loved being on the Hot Seat!

Best. Week. Ever!!

It really does suck, sharing a birthday with a holiday like that, doesn't it? I felt horrible writing it that way for Dom, but it needed to be done. :P

Yay! I'm glad that you liked that Louis was the one who threw her the party. I debated over who would be the one to throw her the party for a long time - I didn't want it to be a boyfriend, and she has lots of friends (in my little universe at least) that could've done it, but it felt so much more special to have Louis to be the one to do it. It's one of those rare moments where a sibling goes above and beyond just because they can. :)

Thanks so much for your wonderful review!! You're amazing!! *hugs*
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #38, by marauderfanThe Family Business: Four: Committing

20th May 2016:
Oooh, so Moros' plan didn't really go according to plan. And the truth comes out about Moros' wife... so really he just killed an entire civilization on the basis of a lie because his wife didn't love him and found a way out. And he regrets nothing. I have a feeling that the disaster he's created has only just started. He's basically void of any emotion but anger and resentment, and it's a bad combo. What else is he going to do with that box?! It hasn't escaped me that he still has it, and it's powerful. Powerful people in possession of dangerous artifacts = bad news

Wow, Laura has quite the choice ahead of her, and I don't envy her! Having to choose between living her dreams, and saving her family. And if she picks one, she can't have the other. That's rough. I think Hugo summarizing it for her seemed to help her parse out her own situation in her head, which is nice.

So she chose the saving the family route - I only hope she'll be able to get out of the business when she wants. It's nice that Hugo is going along with her, as that will help her with her feelings of instability - at least she'll have the stability of a person she's been with for three years. Maybe that's how Claire and Sebastian had stability in their lives - only through each other, because the locations they lived were never the same. It was more about people than places.

Also, I've begun to realize that what I thought in the first chapter was a reference to curse-breaking, is actually something way more epic and mysterious. They're like tomb raiders or something - I don't know what exactly the Business is, but it's illegal. And that makes me want to know even more about it haha. What exactly is it that they do? and how would Bill Weasley react if he found out about it? :P

Hope to see an update soon! I'm really interested in seeing how things turn out!

 Report Review

Review #39, by marauderfanThe Family Business: Three: Arguing

20th May 2016:
WOAH. That first part was INTENSE. That's some fight - Moros is so bitter and at this point it seems he'll stop at nothing to make sure his plan comes to fruition, even if it involves hurting an old friend. I don't know if you've ever watched Avatar: The Last Airbender and its sequel Legend of Korra, but Moros reminds me of one of the villains in Legend of Korra in how he thinks what he's doing is fair and that his action in taking away people's magic, in this case, will bring equality. But wow, pretty extreme as he not only killed his friend, but sank an entire island under the ocean. (I know Arcturus was still breathing, but then the island sank while he was unconscious, sooo..

But if I'm not mistaken, that's the same box! Which is slightly worrying for many reasons. a) it's not functioning how it originally did, which means that I can't guess what happened. Because the first time the box was used, Arcturus was still there. Whereas Claire and Sebastian are just gone. Also b) somewhere, is Egypt sinking into the ocean as the box was just used again? Is it a landmass-sinking box? So many questionsss. But whatever happens, it does seem likely that (provided Claire and Sebastian are still alive) they will not be able to use magic anymore.

Ooh, they are her siblings! I knew it the instant they started all that bickering about the motel guy and poor planning in Lichtenstein :P Laura's saying so only confirmed it. :D Eeep and Hugo's meeting them all at once. I feel like this could have gone better... meeting the family during a big family argument is probably not the best way to do things :P

I appreciate that they're not all totally against her though. Lydia is supportive of her, Edmund doesn't seem to care one way or the other, and Michael seems to just disapprove because it's dangerous for her to stay in one place, not particularly because she's bound to the work. I do really like Edmund as a character btw - nice to see some representation and a character with autism.

They're missing! I feel like they could have told her that earlier in the discussion. Any leads? What do they know? The pacing of this story is really good, btw. You end each chapter on a note where I can't help but want to continue reading! :D

 Report Review

Review #40, by marauderfanThe Family Business: Two: Beginnings and Endings

20th May 2016:
Here I am again, multitasking: leaving you some feedback and getting a workout! What an insightful comment in your A/N, now I can convince myself I don't have to go to the gym.

So anyway, eep! The italic story bits are so interesting! I love the history you've created regarding magicians and wizards and I'm really intrigued by that whole side story.

Laura and Hugo are cute together :) I like how Hugo's family adores her and is super welcoming to her. And this chapter, once I realized that it took place just a week or so after the previous one - it had this underlying sense of anxiety to it because I know Laura's parents aren't coming back because they're in trouble, whereas Laura just passes it off as them forgetting about her or something. Aah! I wonder if that's why the people are there at the end - if they have information about her parents.

Actually, I have a hunch that the three people there are her siblings - you said there were three of them, and given the nickname, I'd say they have a high probability of being family... who maybe also missed her graduation. Maybe they know what happened to Claire and Sebastian?

Ugh, Rose is kind of obnoxious asking poor Laura when she's going to marry Hugo :P They're not engaged, nor have they hinted at getting married. I guess Rose isn't one who takes things slowly though, haha.

I'm dying to know what happened in that tomb in Egypt. Loving this story so far!

 Report Review

Review #41, by marauderfanThe Family Business: One: Prologue - Disappearing

20th May 2016:
LIZZAYYY. This is for the Hot Seat! Congrats! As soon as I saw the summary for this story I knew I had to read it, stat. So I can tell you by this point that at least your summary is very effective. Okay, now on to the story!

Mysterious intro. Atlantis, I assume?

OMG IS THIS ABOUT CURSE BREAKERS? I LOVE IT EVEN MORE. Seriously, I have always wondered what it is that curse breakers do. Like, do they wander around and zap away curses all day? Or, apparently, sit in old dusty tombs and read decaying scrolls of papyrus. That was great imagery, btw, of Sebastian all curled up in this tiny space because he's too tall. A struggle I can relate to (minus the part about being in an egyptian tomb)

I love Ancient Egyptian history and mythology though so I'm super excited to see how this plays into the story.

Small thing, but I appreciated the kind of swapped gender roles you had with Sebastian and Claire talking about going back for their daughter's graduation. I feel like the role of the worrier/the one who's most devoted to the kids always ends up being the mum in a lot of representations while the dad is really intent about their work, and so I appreciate that you switched that up here.

OMG ARE THEY TRAPPED IN THE BOX??? WHAT was that at the end? ASKLDFLKASJDLKFJASLKDJF THIS IS TOO EXCITING. I NEED TO READ MORE. See you on the next chapter :D

Author's Response: AAAHHH! Thank you! I was pretty excited when I was put on the Hot Seat! It's definitely made my day multiple times over!

Hehehe, I'm pretty proud of that summary, so I'm glad that it works!! :D

Hmmm... Atlantis is a pretty good guess!!

Curse breakers? Yes! In a way... Curse breakers definitely play a role in this story, although Seb and Claire might not actually *be* curse breakers... :P

But you definitely will be seeing a lot of what curse breakers do in this story! Or, at least my idea of what they do...

Me too! Hopefully I do it all justice and it lives up to the expectation!

Hahaha! I never really thought about it that way... I just always thought of Laura (their daughter) as being a total Daddy's girl! But I'm glad that you like it this way! :D

ARE they trapped in the box?! Well, I dunno... I guess you'll just have to keep reading to find out!! Can't wait to see what you think of the next chapter!!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!! *hugs*
Lizzie


 Report Review

Review #42, by marauderfanObliviate: Obliviate

20th May 2016:
Hi Amy! I'm here with your requested review :)

So, this is really good. I love that you chose to get into Hermione's mind at such a vulnerable, scary moment for her. Obviously the war was something that scared her, but this moment is when it probably became its most personal for her - she literally had to make her parents forget that she existed, and erase herself from their life. And then send them halfway around the world. That cannot have been easy. And you really show that here in Hermione's thoughts in the beginning, how she's really struggling with what she has to do.

I really appreciate that you highlighted how Hermione really relied on Harry and Ron as much as they relied on her. We all know Harry wouldn't have gotten anywhere without Hermione's help, but she always comes across as so unflappable in the books and how she is so logical and has everything together. She doesnt talk about her feelings much in the books (understandably, because her two best friends are Harry and Ron and they'd have no idea what to do) so it's wonderful to have a look into her feelings here, especially at such an emotional time. And I think you've done really well in that regard, as it's kind of a struggle of head vs heart for her - her head wins, as she knows it will all along, but her heart hurts at what she has to do, and what has already been done. She's so fragile here, and all alone, and this scene just humanizes her so much. I love that you chose this scene to write and that you wrote it this well. The logic in her thought process is distinctly Hermione-ish, and there's so much feeling in addition to that. Really, this is beautiful.

And the ending - so simple, and so effective. Aghh. so sad.

As for CC: your grammar is wonderful, characterisation perfect. One thing kind of stood out to me in terms of continuity though. You mention that she's left a few things and everything else is packed, but then it makes me wonder: after she Obliviated her parents, did she go back into her room and pack up the remaining things before leaving? I kind of imagined her doing the spell and then going to finish packing and they hear that - or see her walking out - and they then find her and are confused :S Maybe this is a picky thing, haha. But I think it'd help with the scene (as well as fit with Hermione's characteristic planning-ahead-ness) to indicate how Hermione plans to make her exit without being noticed after doing the Obliviate spell.

Anyway, I really loved this, it was such a great read! Thanks for requesting! :)

 Report Review

Review #43, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: Epilogue – The opening night

15th May 2016:
Aw, I really like that it ended up being Lily and James, as Juliet and Romeo. (It also makes a lot of sense considering Chiara missed a few months of rehearsal haha)

Chiara and Remus were adorable during this chapter. ♥ Still quoting lines from the play to one another as well hehe. (Also lines from The Empire Strikes Back, though unintentionally I'm sure :P)

I love that you included Lily and James' first kiss in the story as well. That was such an adorable moment! And also hilarious because the curtain came up on them. But I've always liked the idea that after so long of her rejecting him, when they finally got together it ended up being a pretty well-known thing. And the people in the audience were hilarious, like Alice and Frank who'd put a bet on them, and other people who were just like "no way!"

A wonderful ending to a wonderful story! It was really nice to have two chapters of fluff to end it on such a happy note, and I had a smile on my face during the whole chapter. (I should take notes - I have still never figured out how to write a happy ending :P ) Thank you for writing this lovely story and I'm so glad that I've had a chance to read it. You are very talented!

All my love and hugs
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡
Kristin

Author's Response: Jily 4ever!!! :D And yes, poor Chiara wouldn't withstand the stress...

Yes, of course they'd still quote the lines... Erm... are you referring to the "I love you"/"I know" bit? That was completely unintentional... :P

I had that picture of their first kiss and the curtain coming up on them clear in my mind since the very beginning. I loved that image too much!!! And, yes! Glad you loved the audience's different reactions!

Aww... thank you so much... I'm so incredibly glad that you enjoyed this! Thank you, thank you, thank you for sticking with me till the end and for all the awesome Hot Seat reviews!

So much love and snowball hug!!!
Chiara


 Report Review

Review #44, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: Welcome back, Chiara

15th May 2016:
Awww! I guess my worrying at the end of last chapter was without reason, because it was just the curse breaking. Thank goodness! I loved this chapter, it was pretty much mostly fluff, which I needed after all the sad and angst going on with Remus in previous chapters and such a long separation.

I really loved how this chapter started off, with Chiara opening her eyes and what she experiences as she adjusts to her surroundings and realises what has happened. I loved all the reunions! And the welcome back party they had for her, with the banner and everything! And of course that she kept sneaking off to kiss Remus. :P The curse has no power anymore and they're definitely fully appreciating that! Besides, they do have a lot of time to make up for!

Ooh, he took her to the Shrieking Shack. I can see how he'd want to share something that personal with her because as much as he hates the place, it is a part of him as he's spent a good deal of time there every month. As for what happened next... I'm resisting the urge to make jokes about why it's called the Shrieking Shack. :P (My mind lives in the gutter and I'm sorry. :P) I love that Remus's reason for hesitation was the fear that she would turn into a phoenix. Haha. Their banter about it was super cute though :)

I'm so glad these two have a chance to be a happy couple with no curse in the way! And I can't believe there's only one more chapter. I've really loved this fic so far. :)

Author's Response: Ahahah! I'm actually happy that I had you still a bit worried... But yes, that was only the curse breaking, and everything was fine in the end (well, apart from what's wrong... but it doesn't matter right now...)

Yay for fluff!!! I love fluff, don't you? Especially after so much angst...

Ahahah! Chiara took a bit to realize what had happened. And, well, the Marauders would do that, wouldn't they? I'm sure they loved to party! And of course Remus and Chiara wouldn't waste other time... ;)

Yes, I thought that he would want to share something so personal with her. Ahahah! Kristin, you naughty girl... :P Remus will never change...

Yes, only one last chapter. It's really just an epilogue, actually. But I hope you'll enjoy it! :D

Thank you so much! I'm so, so happy that you enjoyed the story! It's still my most loved work, and I'm so glad you followed it to the end!


 Report Review

Review #45, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: A full moon without full moon

15th May 2016:
The beginning of this chapter had the best Sirius/serious joke I've ever seen, mainly because you managed to keep it going for so long and incorporate people who weren't even there such as Merlin. :P

Awww. I just love the image of Remus being so happy after a solid session of prank planning with his three best friends and the knowledge (or at least the hope) that the next full moon won't really be a full moon and that Chiara might come back. ♥

That prank sounds... pretty! haha Honestly I bet it looked so cool! But uh oh, when Professor McGonagall swears then you know you're in trouble. But I love that she was still impressed with their spellwork, even if she wasn't supposed to think so :) So typical McGonagall - well done writing her :)

so as to allow the students to assist to the extraordinary event -- this isn't CC, more of a note about English, I hope that's okay. In English, 'assist' means 'to help/aid/take care of'. I'm pretty sure I understand where this confusion comes from though, because in Spanish at least (and I would imagine it's similar in Italian), the verbs asistir and atender are both false cognates, and the meaning of one is the cognate of the other (if that makes sense). Meaning that asistir is to attend/go to, whereas atender means to assist/help.

For example: 'I attended a concert last Thursday'. Or: 'Can you assist me in lifting this heavy thing?'

I hope that made sense :P

OMG THAT ENDING!!! AJSDLKAFJWLKJERFLKWNELAKFRNJ!?!?!?!?! How could you??? haha. Agh! The suspense! I can't believe you did that. Going to the next chapter RIGHT NOW. :P

Author's Response: Ahahah! I loved writing that bit so much!!! Yep, Merlin! :P

Remus needed the distraction. He needs to forget problems and just be happy from time to time, and this was a great time for it!

McGonagall loves those four... Even if they drive her crazy... And they did outdo themselves here... She would be impressed!

That makes perfect sense... Actually, in Italian, "assistere" means both things, I believe... we also have "attendere", but it's rarely used in that acceptation and commonly used for "to wait"... Erm, languages can be confusing... But thank you for pointing that out. :)

Ahahah... well, it's not really that much of suspence, is it? :P
See you on the next chapter, then!


 Report Review

Review #46, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: Peter's epiphany

15th May 2016:
I love the way you did those side by side conversations between Lily and Alice, and James and Sirius. I thought that was a really clever way to do it and it was easy to follow, despite that it hopped around a lot. I kind of imagined it like a split-screen scene in a film! Aw, poor James. He was just nervous! :S

Peter sleep-talking in class was the best thing. XD Poor guy though, he must be having a nightmare if he's talking about cats! Maybe that's a subconscious reason for why he's afraid of McGonagall - because she's a cat Animagus? Even if that's unrelated, yeah I bet that'd be a scary sight to wake up from sleeping in Transfiguration and finding McGonagall being very displeased hovering over you. Eek.

Remus tried to talk to Corner... I'm not surprised that didn't work. However I am surprised that he told Corner about the Furry Little Problem (or FLP, as I think I will from now on refer to it). I mean it makes sense that other students might have figured out Remus' secret if they really thought about it, but whoa. I hope Corner can keep his mouth shut.

Ooh, I love that Peter figured out the solution. An eclipse! I HOPE THIS WORKS OMG.

Also, not to be annoying but you know I'm a scientist and interested in astronomy so of course I was going to think about this in a scientific way :P You describe the solution here as a solar eclipse, though as you point out in your A/N, a solar eclipse occurs during a new moon and the sun is what gets covered up. But I wonder if maybe you meant lunar eclipse instead? In a total lunar eclipse, the earth is completely in front of the moon and blocks it all from view - the moon is eclipsed, so you could have a 'full moon without the full moon'. Anyway, that's my thoughts on it which you are free to disregard :P I'm also cool with accepting poetic license and looking past scientific inaccuracies XD

(Sidenote, the linear alignment of the sun, moon, and earth during eclipses is called syzygy which is one of my favourite words of all time. :P)

Sooo anyway, my long tangent and pedantic scientific rambling aside - this is a wonderful chapter and AHHH I can't wait to see if the solution works! I hope it does! This is such a wonderful story and things are really picking up now that we're almost at the end!

All the hugs!
♥ ♥

Author's Response: Ahahah! I did imagine it as a movie scene! I was a bit scared that it would result confusing, so I'm relieved that you found it easy to follow! :D Ahahah! Nervous James is the cutest!!!

I had so much fun writing Peter sleep-talking! Yes, he was definitely having a nightmare in that moment... Mmmh... I never thought about that... But I do love your idea!!! McGonagall would be very scary in any case, though...

Well, Remus wasn't really thinking in that moment. He just let it slip in his frustration. Corner will keep the secret, don't worry. He's an intelligent boy (he's a Ravenclaw, after all) and I did tell you he isn't that bad (wonder why no one trusts me on that...)

Yes, the eclipse thing... well, I loved the idea of a solar eclipse because of the darkness it creates, you know. And then I went to check, and I realized that what I was doing was impossible. And I felt so stupid because it's obvious that if the moon covers the sun, the illuminated side can't be visible from the Earth... but I still thought a solar eclipse worked better for me, and I wanted it to be a rare phenomenon, and a lunar eclipse with the full moon (which is a lunar eclipse, dot) wasn't that rare. So I decided to stick with my astronomical mistake... :P Sorry if I hurt your scientist sensibility. (I hurt my own scientist sensibility, if that makes you feel better...)


 Report Review

Review #47, by marauderfanRed Red Rose : Show Off

15th May 2016:
I think it's super realistic that McGonagall would have Harry and Hermione come in to speak for guest lectures, not only because they both have so much experience and the students would want to hear from them, but I can only imagine McGonagall asking something like that of Harry and of course he would agree to do that, that's very much who he is.

Yay, their performance! Quite a change from the very traditional school song. Haha, I don't find it surprising at all that the kids didn't tell their parents they'd started a band. I love the intsruments you've chosen for the band as well - a lute and fiddle! Sounds like they'd be a pretty cool band :D

Of course leave it to the parents to be discussing how successful they can be, talking seriously about their children's futures - meanwhile Rose only wants to have fun with the band, not necessarily to be a professional or have even given it much thought.

She loved his scowling when he focused on playing the fiddle. -- Aaah, I love that you included this! I myself am a viola/violin/fiddle player and I've definitely caught myself scowling at times when I'm concentrating on a difficult passage or something. It's such a minor detail to include but is so realistic and I just love that you wrote that in :D

Great chapter! Omg and I can't believe Scorpius stole Hugo's cards and hid them in the fiddle case. What a joker. :P

Author's Response: Thank you agian, Kristin! I'll send you Internet sushi and green tea for your kindness!

Though I started writing the next generation, I couldn't resist inserting Harry. I love Harry-centered story. :p
For that, McGonagall was necessary to be written.

As I see my son every day, the idea that the kids don't tell everything to their parents, popped in my mind naturally. Looking back my shcool days, it was like that, too.

Rose, a singer wasn't planned at first, but I thought, it would be better, so I changed my first plan.

Oh, do you play the viola and the violin? I'm very intrigued by your fiddle thing. We need more talk about music. I try to smile while I'm playing or performing in public, I can't. Can you?

I'm happy to know you took the last scene "a joker". That's exactly what I intended to.

Kenny




 Report Review

Review #48, by marauderfanRed Red Rose : A Slytherin in the Gryffindor CR.

15th May 2016:
Hi Kenny! This is the rest of your hot seat reviews from me. I'm sorry they are late. I meant to do more last weekend and then didn't, but hey - it's like when you get late birthday presents, just means the celebration lasts longer! :P

This is a lovely start - it's very whimsical in nature, and you've wonderfully portrayed the relationships between the characters, what with the way Albus teases his cousin about Scorpius being her boyfriend, or the way Al and Scorpius write music, the fact that Hugo collects the cards from chocolate frogs, and the bit I loved the most - how Albus wants to write good songs but is bad at poetry. (I can relate!)

I really like seeing musicians in the wizarding world because apart from a few mentions of bands/musicians in canon like the Weird Sisters, Hobgoblins, and Celestina Warbeck (... that may be all, actually?) there aren't any others and I love seeing what wizarding music would be like. Especially as you have it here, since they still appear to be in school - I'm eager to see what a band composed of teenagers at Hogwarts would be like. I can't believe Albus just sang a letter from Scorpius to Rose and turned it into a song. I don't suppose Scorp will be too thrilled about that.

A really interesting start and I can't wait to read on!

Author's Response: Hi, Kristin! You came back to add more. You are such a nice person.

I tried writing the new trio, I think Scorp is just like Draco, Albus is like Harry, his father Harry was not good at writing, so I set his son, Albus like that.

Yeah, as you noticed, I wanted to add more in the musical part. I wrote another episode realted to the Weird Sisters. If you have time, please stop by. The name of the story is "Highland Is Calling".

Reading your feedback, I feel like I should add more description around the episode how the lyrics were made based on the letter.

I got another review to update this story. I have to find more time for this.

Thank you again for dropping your thouht!

Kenny


 Report Review

Review #49, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: The Mark

15th May 2016:
Wow, this chapter. Things just got a whole lot darker (as they would, considering the time period :( I never thought I'd simultaneously hate someone so much and feel bad for them, as I do here with Peter. He had one lapse of judgement - and it wasn't even that, it was just a moment of confusion where he's trying to figure out where he belongs (and who hasn't done that, really?) and abandons his friends, but then finds himself stuck and things are far more permanent than he bargained for. He's already gotten quite good at lying to his friends. And it doesn't surprise me that Remus is the one to sort of see through the lies, as he's probably quite accustomed to feeding people lies about his mum being ill, or whatever other things he invented to put people off the track of finding out his Furry Little Problem.

Your portrayal of Voldemort is great here - sufficiently creepy and knows when he's being lied to. The last section here when he finds out about his future as a double agent - it reminds me a lot of Snape. Different circumstances of course in how they ended up there, but similar in that they're both infiltrating the other's organization and so effective at being on both sides that it took a while for anyone to notice.

One thing that really stood out to me about this chapter was Peter's lament that he's involved in all this and he's just a kid. It's so true! And so horrible to think that a lot of the Death Eaters at this time (Nott of course, and Regulus around this time as well probably) were only sixteen or seventeen and facing a future of a lot of violence and fighting and not being able to get out of it. Kids having to fight in a war, while Voldemort just used them like marionettes. So awful. (but your writing of that is fantastic, and through Peter's fear it's so evident how messed up the whole situation is.) Really great work on this chapter!

Author's Response: I must admit, this is one of my favourite chapters, even if it breaks my heart all the time!

Things have definitely turned much darker... but as you say, it's time of war...

Poor Peter... his life is so skrewed up at the moment... and even if he asked for it, I still feel so bad for him...

Of course Remus would notice something is strange. He's the most perceptive and he does have a lot of experience with lies...

I'm so glad you felt I pictured Voldemort well! And this is interesting, I never really thought about a parallel between Peter and Snape. But of course it makes sense.

It's something that has always stricken me, how young they all were... When James and Lily died and Sirius was sent to Azkaban, they were only twenty-one!!! I still played with dolls at that age! (ok, no, I didn't play with dolls, because I never liked playing with dolls that much... but you know what I mean...) And all the Death Eaters, of course... Regulus couldn't have been older than nineteen... How sad is it all?

Thank you so much for another awesome review! I so adore your feedback!!!


 Report Review

Review #50, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: Meetings in Hogsmeade

15th May 2016:
Oookay, I'm back! And hopefully I will read through the rest of this today, as it's much too hot today to do anything but sit here like a lump and read fanfic :D

HOW does Remus still think Corner is the answer? I had totally forgotten about that guy. You'd think that after Remus and Chiara had that conversation earlier where it's SO clear they both have feelings for one another, he wouldn't be so surprised to hear that she likes him. That boy is so stubborn and in denial! (and so of course very well written in character!)

"Really, Evans... Dumbledore? He's amazing and all, but I doubt he would be Chiara's first choice..."
"Merlin, Black! Be serious!" Lily exclaimed.
-- these two lines had me laughing out loud! Trust Sirius to crack a joke like that interpretation of Lily's suggestion, and then the inevitable Serious joke, but Lily catches it in time, before Sirius has a chance to (as he would) make a comment about it.

But YES, Lily's idea is sensible, to tell Dumbledore. They really should have done ages ago. I'm glad Chiara's mum was finally informed as well - she's been in the dark for a while now :(

Peterrr. What a sad scene! I was so frustrated at him as he seems to be just going out of mild interest, or boredom in his current situation, but kind of gets tied into it in a way he doesn't expect. I felt badly for him, because he didn't ultimately like what he heard but had no way to get out of it. And despite that I am annoyed at him for making the decision to go in the first place and turning on his friends, it's clear he still cares about Remus, as the comment about 'half-breeds' affected him so much. Aw.

Great chapter!

Author's Response: KRISTIN!!! *hug* *wub* *hug* *wub* *hug* *wub*

Remus is such an idiot... and, well, you know how he is... he just can't believe that people can love him...

I'm so glad that bit made you laugh!!! I definitely had so much fun writing it!!! :P And you know I love that pun a bit too much!

Of course Lily's right in saying that they should tell Dumbledore... if only the boys would listen... but at least Remus thought about informing Anna!

Poor Pete... I can imagine your frustration... he doesn't really understand what he's throwing himself into, and once he realizes it, it's too late. Of course, he shouldn't have gone in the first place. But I can't blame him too much... And yes, he still cares about his friends...

Thank you for another awesome review!!!
Chiara


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>