Reading Reviews From Member: marauderfan
1,547 Reviews Found

Review #26, by marauderfanActions Speak Louder than Words: Besieged: Rose POV

17th January 2017:
WOWWW what a chapter! Okay, I'm here to leave reviews for your (belated) holiday wishlist and picking up right where I left off from my last binge of reading this story. Yikes, this chapter was INTENSE.

Can I also just take a moment to say that I saw this story was nominated for a Dobby for Best Villain and it's certainly easy to understand why. Stannous is terrifying, even more so because of this chapter: You've given him a background as a helpful, normal teacher who wanted his students to succeed and was well liked. Did something happen to him or was he just a mastermind plotting this whole thing for years? (Sidenote, Hogwarts has the worst trends of unintentionally hiring psychopaths as Professors. I haven't forgotten Barty Crouch Jr.) What on earth made him do this to Rose - what was the point of it? What exactly was he even doing? And why/how is he back now?? Basically, there are a lot of questions raised about Stannous that I really want answers to. But so far that makes him a really excellent villain, so congrats on the nomination.

UGHHH THIS STORY IS JUST SOOO GOOD and I'm really glad to be back and reading it again and also WHERE IS ROSE?!?!

Sorry about capslock I'm just really excited.

Oh, and in all the chaos of the end I forgot to mention that Rose and Scorpius are cute together.

Awesome chapter! I'll be back to read more of this ASAP and hopefully will leave a more coherent review next time XD.

 Report Review

Review #27, by marauderfanDormitory 2.6A: FOUR: Fire and Ice

17th January 2017:
Being dragged out of bed while you're sleeping? Nooopppeee. I'd kick someone. And then go back to sleep.

Al totally knows what effect his smile/wink has on people and knows how to use that, haha!

THE BROOMSTICK INNUENDO I AM DYING AHAHAHAHA but like, isn't this always the way it happens - where you realize what you said about 2 seconds too late and you can't un-say it. Ahaha this was hilarious and I would feel bad for Nova except I'm too busy laughing.

Omg nothing to spoil the fun chatty mood in class like a bloody lamb's heart slammed onto the table. I never had to dissect anything quite that bad in any of my biology classes but this takes me back, haha. Oh, and I love that they're combining biology with magic because that's totally something that should happen. in order to do a better transfiguration you have to understand the object, etc. Great idea to include that! Except what an actual disaster it turned out to be. WHY WERE PEOPLE THROWING THE HEART

purely because I'm a sadist and would like to put you off your food." -- hahaha this professor cracks me up

Re: the end - uh oh. That escalated quickly... I'm not sure how Sophie didn't see that coming. You don't insult someone in front of her best friends because they will tear you up. So much drama but I did enjoy reading them all fighting haha

I don't remember if I mentioned this in any of my earlier reviews but I adore your writing style. It's so fun, you include the perfect amount of detail, it's at times very thoughtful, and at times very funny. It's just great all around.

I can see why this story is so popular! I'm really loving it so far!

 Report Review

Review #28, by marauderfanDormitory 2.6A: THREE: Matters of the Heart

17th January 2017:
Hhahahahaha, yeah I feel like Dahlia is kind of terrifying for young naive students. :P Poor second year.

I love that they still use "Your face" as a comeback. It's like one step below "Your mum" jokes. It's so bad that it's funny.

Somehow in the previous chapter I missed the fact that Dahlia had to be nice to everyone for 24 hours and o. m. g. this is going to be literally amazing. She might explode from the effort. like how do you even go from sailor to customer service representative (that's the extreme ends of the swear scale that I just invented) that fast? it's impossible. I know because I have been both in my life. *rubs hands together with glee and watches the chaos ensue*

Haha, Cassidy literally takes no care of her appearance and still gets compliments from a fit bloke. I'd say things aren't going too badly for her with the dare at least XD She totally still could have flirted with him.

REAGAN HAS TO SING EVERYTHING AHAHAHA have you seen that Monty Python sketch about reporting a burglary? it's super funny and the beginning of this chapter kind of reminds me of that, well at least Reagan's dare.

I sympathize with Nova. Flirting is hard XD

But it went rather well! I mean, aside from the bit where she ran into him, but it gave them something to talk about at least :P Ah, so proud of Nova. It all worked out! Even though her friends were CREEPING UNDER A TABLE to spy on them. that was hilarious. XD

great chapter!

 Report Review

Review #29, by marauderfanDormitory 2.6A: TWO: I Dare You

16th January 2017:
I'm back!

I like that Professor Binns actually calls Voldemort by his name (especially because probably not everyone did, even after the war - just look at Hagrid in the beginning of Philosophers Stone). It malkes sense too since Binns was already dead by the time Voldemort because important, so he probably just never really cared.

Also I forgot to mention this in the previous chapter's review but I kind of love that you've characterized James as looking like a lumberjack XD

Random aside: How did Binns ever take attendance for his class? He literally had no idea who anyone was. /tangent

Can I just say that you write the mindset of a sixteen year old girl SO perfectly. Everything Nova says about Albus is kind of ridiculous when she goes on and on about his raven hair and his gorgeous jade eyes and how she swoons when he smiles at her and she stares at him all the time when she thinks she's being subtle... BUT honestly it's not too far off from how I reacted around my own crush at that age and how I loved the colour of his eyes (so blue). XD Like, Nova's narration about Albus is kind of silly but also SO relatable! Basically, I was Nova at age 16. Except none of my friends found out about my crush.

Nova's friends are hilarious. And they're all such passionate people, about different things but it makes for such a funny group dynamic. They are the first person to sass any of the others in the group, but also the first person to stand up for their friends if someone else hurts them.

I love Nova's sister too. And I can't blame her for being upset at having to wait three additional days for brownies that made a detour through Nova's pocket. Seriously what is it with wizards putting baked goods in their pockets? Hagrid giving Harry a squashed birthday cake, and Nova giving Aria some probably very flat brownies. Muggles know better. I hope the brownies were at least delicious XD

I am really excited to see how Nova's attempt at flirting goes. Ehehehehe

 Report Review

Review #30, by marauderfanDormitory 2.6A: ONE: Melting Ice Queens

16th January 2017:
Plums! I am here for this story, partially because of your wishlist and partially because this story has been recommended like everywhere. Honestly, I hear lots of good things about it. So here goes.

This is such a fun opening chapter, and I can really feel the personality of this group so strongly - it's clear they have years of inside jokes and their friendship is very secure (which makes Nova's comments at the end really interesting and honestly I think that was my favorite part of the chapter, as it adds a reflective twist to the otherwise more light hearted beginning and kind of makes me guess about the whole chapter which I just read, so I love that. I wonder how much of it Nova is kind of just making up in her mind, or whether cracks are starting to form in their friendship. At any rate, it makes me really eager to read more (which I will do tomorrow, but not tonight because it's late and I have to get up super early for work *sobs*)

Also I must admit haha, the way Dormitory 2.6a is so close it makes me wonder if 2.6b is just as close to each other, and talks about A the way A talks about B. Probably XD It's funny because yeah they're all hufflepuffs but the two different dorms really creates two different, isolated cultures.

Your writing style is a lot of fun, btw. I can see why this story is as popular as it is :)

Okay, so this opening chapter was sufficient to get me really excited about reading more, but I have to go to sleep. I'll be back tomorrow to fangirl about the next few chapters, I'm sure.

 Report Review

Review #31, by marauderfanHallowed be Our Names: Breakdown (Aberforth)

16th January 2017:
This was a great chapter! I think most of all you really highlighted the differences between Albus and Aberforth, and how they react to setbacks. Aberforth is very driven by his emotions, and listens to his heart, and Albus listens to his head and logic/reason, and that's why they have trouble understanding the other. Aberforth actually thinks Albus is going to abandon them, just on the word of Ariana, and he doesn't take the time to think it out, just goes in and yells at Albus for it. Aberforth really wears his heart on his sleeve, whereas Albus is more guarded (and Gellert is a different person depending on who he's talking to). Maybe the Dumbledore brothers have different ways of showing it but each of them really does care about the family and keeping it together.

I think more than anything this chapter shows how difficult things were in the Dumbledore family at the time Grindelwald was visiting, and the complicated relationships between everyone involved, and there's a lot of trust issues.

I also like that this is from Aberforth's POV. I feel like he's a very overlooked character in general but there's so much story to be told about him, so I love that you've done that and you're going into his POV here.

Once again this is such lovely writing, Karen, great job :)

 Report Review

Review #32, by marauderfanPocket Watch #1 -- Bittersweet Homecoming: 1.5 -- Penny For Your Thoughts (To Yourself)

16th January 2017:
Two things: 1. Happy birthday!

2. I'm glad to discover a new chapter on this, it's been a while since I read some of it and it's such a great story. I love your characterization of Barty Jr and how he's the protagonist here... because I know at some point down the line I'll be very conflicted given who Barty becomes, and he will be simultaneously the protagonist and antagonist? Idk. But I love that you are writing a moral grey area character because those are the best kinds, and I love this insight into the Crouch family - they are all so well written!

I am really curious what Mr Crouch Sr was up to. Poor Barty (Jr), being so worried when he sees his father at the station. I mean, at least his father showed up? But the fact that it makes Barty Jr so nervous, and how Barty Sr's arrogance keeps embarrassing the rest of the family, it's sad that it's almost better if Crouch Sr didn't show up at all.

I love Penny! And I'm so excited that this is your first OC, I would never have guessed because you've done a wonderful job introducing him and giving us a sense of who he is, with his devotion to his daughters, and the cat that rides in the car with him (the cat's name is brilliant hahaha)

one hand in the pocket and another on a cigarette -- I swear this is a line from an Alanis Morissette song. :P If it weren't impossible timeline-wise, I would assume that Penny was listening to this song in his car before he got out and looked this cool. haha But anyway, yeah, your introduction of him is great and I really like him as a character!

Next up... Barty talks with his father, I assume? I hope to find out more soon! Wonderful job on this chapter, Karen!

 Report Review

Review #33, by marauderfanSaving Severus Snape : xiv.

15th January 2017:
Ah, the gossip. There was really no way around it. Poor Remus- I do feel bad for him, after all what happened between Lily and Severus really hurt Lily, and so Remus cares about Hermione and wants to save her from the same fate happening to her, but yeah - she's the one who considers that maybe it's changed Severus too and he learned from his past. Besides, I always love it when Hermione stands up for herself. The scene in PoA where she punches Malfoy will always be one of my favorite things XD

She was definitely thinking of them as two different people, and that could potentially become quite dangerous for her. -- Yes! This is exactly how I see it too, like she knows they're the same person, but based on the interactions she's had with each of them they're entirely different people in her mind. And I like that she knows it's dangerous for her to have that dichotomy in her mind. Hermione is smart, and introspective, and I love that she has these conflicting thoughts in her mind that she is aware are conflicting but she can't work out whether to listen to her head or her heart. That's the best thing about your Hermione - although in a vastly different situation than the Hermione from the books, her character is easily recognizable as the same person because you write her so well.

The rain put a damper... ahahaha. Ba-dum chhh. *CYMBALS CRASH* that was a winner of a pun, Hermione

Yes, friends who find the sound of each other's voices adorable. Friends.

Hahaha, the kid in the portrait who thought Hermione was admonishing him for stealing sweets when really she was just talking to herself! *dies* XD

Hermione so would be the type to go for Truth in truth or dare.

Ahh she's actually realized it! (Poor Ron, who's stuck back in 1998 probably pining over Hermione when she's gone back and fallen for Snape instead. But I don't actually feel too bad for Ron because he's not really in this story so out of sight out of mind? haha)

And then at the end we have Hermione going and getting lost in a million thoughts, thinking about every single possibility of what could happen, and this is such a huge part of the reason I like this story - your Hermione is so realistic. And so is your Severus, how I would imagine him being as a teenager. And it's actually not hard to understand how two people like this might fall for one another.

Seeing the gossip angle amidst the crowd Hermione knows s interesting, but I'm curious about the rumors circulating amongst Severus' Death Eater buddies - I'm sure they can't have anything too positive to say about her, although it's true in this timeline she's supposedly not a Muggle-born, so who knows.

Great chapter! ♥

 Report Review

Review #34, by marauderfanJourney to the Centre of (Molly’s) World in (Less than) 80 Days: Take It Easy

11th January 2017:
I don't want to be the person who says I told you so, but didn't I warn Heath not to go on about 'what could possibly go wrong'? And he didn't listen to me. So in a way I'm unsurprised to see that he didn't respond well to the totally rad cosmic travel and instead emerged with a broken arm.

Molly makes a good point. I know the Boston Tea Party was all about freedom and rebellion and stuff but seriously, what an abominable waste of perfectly good tea.

“What’s worse than dying?” Heath asked. -- Being expelled?

Why did the Daily Prophet and/or Auror Office not supply Heath and Molly with international Apparating permits? That could have come in really handy. But, I guess this way it provides Heath with an interesting angle to his travel articles, in that most travel things in the Daily Prophet probably don't have Muggle travel involved.

When Molly makes plans she doesn't mess around. That's a lot of impromptu planning! I guess the question now is how many of her plans will get derailed because she has to go find Heath and get him out of whatever impromptu thing he's walked into willy-nilly. It will probably happen at least once. Maybe 26 times.

Also I don't often get to say that I learned something new by reading fanfiction but today I did, with your mentioning of the Carnac Stones. The place sounds really cool :D

I really love this fic so far! It's so imaginative and fun, and I'm so glad I came back to read more of it!

 Report Review

Review #35, by marauderfanJourney to the Centre of (Molly’s) World in (Less than) 80 Days: Uncharted

11th January 2017:
I love Raj even though I don't even think he's going to show up much in this story. He puts up with living with Heath, and he sings Celestina Warbeck in the shower. Another minor character I love who probably will never show up again is the woman wearing fluorescent green robes and walking her pet ferret on a matching leash. Even the unimportant details in this story really shine, which just makes it so much fun to read!

HAHAHA, of course wizards in the USA are using the metric system! I thought this tidbit was so funny as I usually consider the USA to be a bit backwards in not accepting the metric system, but turns out it's just the muggles. Wizards have been up to date with the times since the metric system was first invented! And that in itself is funny too because wizards are generally such a backwards society themselves, or at least just a little antiquated - you know, using quills and parchment, a wireless, etc. So great. Also, you will probably be amused to know that I just googled the origins of the metric system because after reading this I was curious if Napoleon really was the one who thought it up XD

Warthogs... XD

As much as Heath is shown in a kind of silly way here for stashing away his chocolate frogs, I can kind of relate because I did the same thing stocking up on dark chocolate Bounty when I went to the UK.

The guy welcoming everyone to Stonehenge is totally one of the people from the futuristic utopia in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. As soon as everyone walks in I'm expecting some powerful music to play.

How lucky are all these wizards and witches who get to just camp at Stonehenge?

Ooh, I love the idea of Stonehenge as part of a network - like a prehistoric King's Cross, as Molly describes it :P Honestly, the idea of it transporting you to an unknown destination sounds absolutely awesome. Well, mostly awesome. The only thing that would kind of suck is that you may not be adequately prepared for the climate. What if it sent you to somewhere high in the Himalayas, and then the Sahara? Assuming that someone built structures out of rocks there. I mean, other than that, it would be totally amazing. But Heath is tempting fate by repeatedly asking what's the worst that could happen. You never ask that question, because it always does happen, haha.

Ahh! This just got so exciting. Great chapter :)

 Report Review

Review #36, by marauderfanJourney to the Centre of (Molly’s) World in (Less than) 80 Days: Counting Stars

11th January 2017:
I read the first chapter of this a long time ago and loved it, so I'm really excited to be back and reading more of it.

Heath seems like a cool character. Please tell me though, how he managed to write a coherent article while intoxicated/hungover. I can't even even write a coherent fic review when I'm tired. Also, having just reread the first chapter so I could catch up (I reviewed it like, two years ago), part of me is wondering if Heath is Agatha's former fiance. Based solely on the fact that he's American and something about the family business. It's a long shot but that's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

Dennis Creevey growing up to be really tall and with a booming voice is basically the best thing that's happened so far in this story. XD

Adventuring around the world and writing about it sounds like literally the most amazing job ever. I'm so jealous. But more than that I'm really interested to see how these two work together on their globetrotting adventure!

 Report Review

Review #37, by marauderfanChai, Pakoras, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Pakoras, and a Friend

10th January 2017:
Yesss! I was so happy to discover that there was another instalment in the Chai series! Ahh, it has to be the fluffiest thing I've ever read and it was adorable and I loved it so much. And, as with all the others in the series, I'm very hungry now.

I love that Neville attempted to make a cake for Hannah, even though it failed, it's still adorable that he tried. And I love that he Apparated clear across the country in the middle of the night just because he missed her. Seriously, could these two be any cuter?

Hannah's description of cavemen learning about fire/ Neville attempting to cook was the funniest thing. I love the clever writing style, which I've noticed in all of your fics (that I've read), you have this wonderful humour that's not heavy handed, it's just really smart and quirky and it's a lot of fun to read.

Reading this story was like floating on a fluffy cloud made of hugs. I probably had a really goofy grin on my face the whole time just because this story was so darn cute.

I know I've said before, but I think most of the reviews I've left on this series have been as anons, so I'll say it again: you write Hannah so wonderfully, and your portrayal of her is my favorite of any I've ever read. This Hannah is my headcanon. You write Neville amazingly as well. Basically you just write amazingly. I loved this so much.

So... Chai 6 someday? ;)

 Report Review

Review #38, by marauderfanEvolution: Progress

7th January 2017:
Sooo... Lily may be trying to give Lionel time and not judge the day too quickly, but I'm ready to judge. I think Lily's first impressions were spot on - that Lionel's choice of location was uninventive. I think he as a person is uninventive. He's predictable and by the book and that's why Lily likes him, but that's also what she'll grow tired of first. That's my prediction. I wouldn't go so far as to bet 10 Galleons on it but maybe 10 Knuts. Or 10 cents, whichever is less. :P

I can see why Lionel steers clear of numbers. After all, the most advanced math he learned was probably long division, and then he went to Hogwarts and left all math behind. For all Hogwarts sounds fun, it really would leave you with some holes in your education. /tangent

Marlene is so snarky and I love her. I hope to see more of Lily's friends in other context as well - I enjoyed seeing their excitement about Lily's date but I'd love to see them all in other settings, talking about music or philosophy or cats or whatever it is that they talk about when they're not discussing Lily's love life.

You do a really good job of getting into your characters' heads. James in particular here - how he really is trying to be a more mature, responsible person, but it's been so long since he did a really glorious prank and he misses it. He's definitely weighing his options here - still going with the prank but there seems a lot more thought put into how to not get caught this time, so he can spend time with his girlfriend instead of in detention.

'Liberate' a carriage. Yes, that's one way to put it :P

You know who else I love? Katie. I love that she is shrewd enough to see exactly what's going on, tells James honestly what she thinks about his 'amazing' plan, but she doesn't try to talk him out of something he's so excited about because she can tell it's important to him. And I think this was a really important moment for them, because James made a choice to trust her and let her in a little, and his reaction to her reaction says everything. I think he expected to get shut down, but she's chill about it and it's like he doesn't feel like he has to hide this side of himself. But it's not like he'll let this go to his head and pull pranks all the time again, because he realizes Katie is awesome and probably still wants to spend time with her instead of in detention. Anyway, that was a great moment for the two of them. I'm interested to see how her presence affects the other three Marauders and how/if she integrates into the group.

I'm really enjoying this story so far, especially the more I get to know the characters. Great work.

 Report Review

Review #39, by marauderfanEvolution: Special Appointment

7th January 2017:
Lionel is basically the exact opposite of James. In fact, he seems pretty similar to Lily herself, the only difference being that she is more punctual... and a lot more interesting, though that may be just because I don't know Lionel as a character that well yet. :P

I love that the other Gryffindor girls took Katie in for a girls night to get her mind off things and give her some time where no one is gossipping about her. Also, the awkward moment between Lily and Katie felt very realistic, so kudos to you for that. Like, there was nothing malicious about it, just Lily speaking without thinking and then having to backtrack a bit. I honestly love the light this puts Lily in, because I think she has a tendency to be portrayed as too perfect sometimes (just in general in fic), but her potrayal here is something that a lot of people can probably relate to - I sure can. It humanizes her. Everyone says something without thinking sometimes, but it doesn't mean she isn't nice - after all, what she said afterwards was a nice and heartfelt apology that cleared the air a bit, and Katie took the whole thing pretty well anyway. They got off on the wrong foot, sure, but neither seems to bear the other any ill will. I'm interested to see how the relationship between those two girls develops as they get to know one another and whether or not they could actually be friends.

This was another great chapter!

 Report Review

Review #40, by marauderfanEvolution: The Prince's Plot

7th January 2017:
I'm baaack for another review binge.

Snape POV! Oof, the fact that Snape even thinks about hurting Katie to get at James... such a low blow, but one I would absolutely believe him capable of.

His POV is perfectly written, though. The thing that stood out the most to me was the subtlety with how you conveyed Snape's arrogance, because he definitely is arrogant, but isn't as showy about it as, for example, James. But the way Snape thinks Slughorn is lazy and easy to mislead, and how he dismisses Katie based on seeing a mediocre offensive spell in DADA, it's so clear he doesn't see either of them as equals (or superiors, as Slughorn technically is), rather as beneath him. You never say it outright but it's there in the way he thinks about people and writes them off, and basically it's really well done.

I notice he thinks of Avery and Mulciber as 'associates'. Not friends. I don't know that there really is anyone he'd consider a friend, except maybe Lily. He also says he'll be in charge of the spells and just sends Mulciber and Avery to be on guard duty, essentially, because he doesn't trust them with important work - he's a perfectionist. You've really got him pegged.

I like how you portrayed his view of the Mudblood Incident, as well. It's very believable that he would regret saying that to Lily, but also still think Muggleborns are beneath him. To Snape, Lily is an exception, whereas to Lily, she sees herself as part of the Muggle-born community, I'd expect, and that's kind of the basis for that disconnect.

Basically I like your interpretation of Snape and I think this was definitely a worthwhile chapter. It's nice to get a look into other characters' heads for a bit! Awesome chapter. :)

 Report Review

Review #41, by marauderfanThe Harder They Fall: Casablanca

5th January 2017:
The second half of this chapter was the cutest thing I have ever read. Especially Finn being such a dork and fetching Brindley's scarf for her. I want to replay this moment over and over.

As for the first half: I know you hinted at Sebastian being the lost Potter, and I think Ive mentioned this before but I really think it's Brindley. Who is her father really? RIGHT?

Okay but let's talk about the second half the chapter again because it's so adorable and they watched Casablanca together and they drove a car like a proper gentleman and lady and then they flirted a lot. And he told her a dumb story about the Bloody Baron and she thought it was funny. I needed this fluff so much after the intensity of the previous chapters. I love them and I love you. Happy New year!

 Report Review

Review #42, by marauderfanThe Harder They Fall: Poison

5th January 2017:
I love the quotes you start each chapter with. Here I'm wondering who the innocent one is that's alluded to with that quote, and I dread to think it's Brindley. Only time will tell.

I had forgotten that Finn's owl's name is Adonis and it made me laugh all over again.

Ooh, things just got interesting regarding Sebastian..

Yikes, what a time to Floo in. Poor Jameson :( I wonder if this is a turning point for Finn though. This whole story so far (and in Hero as well) Finn has been a bystander, sometimes feeling like he should do something but he never does, and this was one such example that must have hit pretty close to home. I wonder if this is what changes him - he does seem to have a lot of determination to set things aright, although whether he puts words to action is another thing.

I know this isn't really important but really, what is Fletcher writing? hahaha

Wow, back when the Hog's Head was new and people actually went there aside from Mundungus Fletcher.

That's quite a show from Tom about what happens when they disobey him. He's such an abusive friend. Also, I wonder if he found out something about Radbourne that he can blackmail him with or if Radbourne owes him for something, because Radbourne seems a lot less keen to stand up to Tom as he was in the previous chapter. Also - is this the source of the collapsed tunnel marked on the Marauder's Map? You're a genius Bianca ;)

ASDLKJFALKSJDFLK the scene in the hospital wing is simultaneously so sweet and heartbreaking. They're bonding because of their grief and they're putting their antagonism towards each other aside for a moment and it's beautiful, even if the reason for it is sad.

Poor little Hufflepuff kid :(

As for the last bit, all I have to say is this: THERE WAS FLIRTING

 Report Review

Review #43, by marauderfanThe Harder They Fall: The Ministry

5th January 2017:
I'm here with a few reviews!

I notice Tom doesn't want people reading his diary. Either it's already a Horcrux or he's been writing about his crush on someone unattainable and drawing broken hearts and writing emo poetry and he's too embarrassed to let his friends see. Obviously my money is on the latter.

This curse that Tom is looking for sounds like only bad news. I'm sure he doesn't really need to include that in his essay. He's finished with his essay, after all.

I like Radbourne. At least he has a backbone and isn't cool with just being a bystander. Can't say the same for Finn. I love that Radbourne wants to be a Healer as well. How did he get mixed up with this bunch?

“Radbourne,” Tom continued, “get a copy of Moste Potente Potions and bring it to me.” -- Where does one get a copye of Moste Potente Potionse? At Ye Olde Towne Shoppe.

Ah, no, the librarye.

[Sidenote: I sincerely apologize for this review already. It's a late night review and those have a tendencye to be weirde. I am so not a night owl.]

Hahaha, now Finn, do I detect a hint of jealousy? He does seem unreasonably irritated at seeing Brindley kissing Patrick Avery.

FINN YOU SMUG JERK. HE IS THE WORST. I don't know how Brindley didn't see it coming. Because of course he would do something like that, making an executive decision about the Ministry that favors him and totally disregarding what she wants.

I love your description of the Ministry in those days and how you used the smallest canon details, like in the books Arthur mentioned that they used to have owls delivering the memos, and here they are - and Bob Ogden is working there. Sidenote, it would be so nerve-wracking to be in an elevator while there are birds flying above you and you can't get out of their way. I feel like I'd need to have an umbrella at all times. Anyway, this has gotten off topic but what I wanted to say is I like your attention to detail.

“Well, since I’m here, might as well enjoy it,” she whispered back. -- I love her

The small medium at large XD I love that joke

Ouch! Double ouch. That's a difficult way for Finn to learn about Brindley's parents. Who does she live with? Aunt? Uncle? Also, I love how cute Finn was being with the joke about the troll cave and it kind of breaks my heart how she responded. Ugh. I am very sad. The fact that Brindley is so upbeat and positive even when she's got so much to deal with - she's a pretty amazing person. ALSO, there was some almost flirting there in that scene. And I noticed at the end that Finn used her first name! I saw it!

Excellent chapter! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

 Report Review

Review #44, by marauderfanThe Great Tale of Me, Lyra Malfoy: IX.

4th January 2017:
Okay, I'm back!

Sooo I take it Albus found out. Ah, yes, there's the destruction of things and even some flames as a bonus. Oh my.

I don't remember if you mentioned this before but wow Neville is the headmaster and I kind of love that idea. Especially the fact that he's filled the office with potted plants. And that when Albus is in trouble he won't let them call him Uncle Neville because he needs them to know that this is serious. Although still... no detention. (Neville, that is called playing favourites.) Also I still need to have a talk with both Scorpius and Lily and ask them why on earth they made such bad life decisions.

TJ is being a pretty bad friend here. Although I guess it's not really his fault - Lyra did have the worst possible timing to want to have an actual discussion :P For real, Lyra? She couldn't wait to vent until he was actually there to listen to her? *headdesk*

Yep, that does sound like a bad day. Hopefully things get better. Pls yell at Scorpius for me, thanks.

Author's Response: Yay, you're back!

Yes, yes he did. Of course I needed to add some drama in there! It wasn't just going to be "I cheated on you with Lily"
"Really? I hate you but I'm glad that you told me so let's make up and move on." Nope, don't think so.

I love Neville as a headmaster too, and yes an office filled with plants and him demanding that Albus call him Professor whenever he's in trouble. I just thought that it was great, so I'm glad that you like it!

Shameless self promo one-shot on that story coming soon...

Oh TJ really is a terrific friend, it's just that Lyra's an idiot about when she should talk to her friends.

For sure. Okay, I will!

 Report Review

Review #45, by marauderfanThe Great Tale of Me, Lyra Malfoy: VIII.

3rd January 2017:
The new lockers sound about 1000x better than the one I had in high school. Undetectable extension charm too! That's awesome.

For all TJ and Ben said earlier about staying in the closet, they sure aren't very good at it, haha. Maybe they both do want to come out.

I kind of love that Lyra calls Hogwarts 'Hoggy'. It sounds silly, but honestly there's something very realistic about that. Everyone at my high school called the school by a silly nickname too (which sounded totally normal to me because I was used to it, but probably sounded weird to anyone from another school who heard it) so the nickname Hoggy is such a neat, weird detail that I never would have thought of myself but it really works.

Poor Lyra. It's hard to do well in classes you don't even like. :-/

Okay but what about Albus and Scorpius? That was a big piece of news you just dropped in that last chapter and I want to know if they are okay! Did Scorpius tell Albus? Helllp I need to know. And this is the last chapter up for now so I hope you update soon!

I've had a lot of fun reading this today, and I'm so glad we were paired in the review exchange! Great story! Again, I'm really sorry it took so long for me to do it. Hope you had a good holidays. ♥

Author's Response: Yeah, I figured they kind of needed lockers. I mean, I get undetectable extension charms on bags, but it's not like everyone knows how to do them.

They aren't. They really aren't. They will eventually, don't worry.

I love Hoggy too.

Yeah, for sure. I have this English class, and I used to get 90%s in English (As) but now I get like 80%s (Bs) and it's only because I really don't like my teacher, whereas last year English was my absolute favourite subject.

I already know that you read the next chapter, so no comment.

Same! I really love your story too, I've read some of it but I have to review it now. I hope you did too.

 Report Review

Review #46, by marauderfanThe Great Tale of Me, Lyra Malfoy: VII.

3rd January 2017:
FYI I did end up having breakfast food for dinner. I made an omelette.

Back to the story.

The beginning of the chapter with this guy walking in there with shiny golden locks and the sun illuminating him ... I totally feel like this paragraph happened in slow-mo. There was probably really dramatic music playing at the time as well, something with strings. Or a powerful song from the 80s like Open Arms by Journey.

Another couple just confirmed my theory that James is the only straight character. The fact that they're both named after flowers is amusing :P

Oh wow I didn't expect that plot twist with Scorpius either. Especially after all the PDA and love confessions with those two. What could possibly have prompted him to do that? *shakes head* Ughhh, Scorpius. I can't believe Lily has that little respect for Albus either. Please tell me there's another explanation for this. Is Lyra dreaming? alskdhfahsdjk

Author's Response: Oooh yum. Now I want an omelette. But it's only 1:09 for me, so doesn't really matter. Omelettes aren't exactly breakfast food, are they?

Same. This is basically Tim, just right there man. I definitely agree.

To help you out: James - Straight, Audrey - Straight, Parker - Straight, Lily - Straight, Lyra - Straight (but ace), Hugo - Straight, Tim - Straight. That's all that I can think of for now. But I do agree that it's funny. And yes, Rose and Poppy are very amusing.

I love my plot twists. Hang on tight because there's going to be a few more of them. I know, he disappoints me. I'm going to write a one-shot from Lily's point of view though, so you'll get to see what happens. Just know that it didn't really mean anything.

No unfortunately. Lyra only dreams of unicorns that fart rainbows... Ha ha, just kidding (about what Lyra dreams about), the thing about Scorpius cheating on Albus is definitely not a dream. Sorry! Don't hate me.

 Report Review

Review #47, by marauderfanThe Great Tale of Me, Lyra Malfoy: VI.

3rd January 2017:
A blueberry muffin sounds delicious right now and I just realized that I am hungry and should probably make dinner soon. It will probably be breakfast food because Lyra's breakfast inspired me.

SNITCH PUFFS, yes, I love really goofy analogues between the wizarding world and real one.

It's really cute that her parents showed up to see the game!

Of course the match continues as he is taken to the Hospital Wing, -- Hogwarts in a nutshell. Literally everything at the school is dangerous and no one blinks an eye at it, instead they encourage 14 year olds to play broom sports hundreds of feet in the air. I'm amazed there aren't more lawyers in the wizarding world.

Okay, so you know that thing I mentioned in my previous review about something to ground the reader really in the moment? This chapter is it. This was great! I loved the Quidditch game and how you wrote it focused on specifically the things Lyra is concentrating on - not the commentator, but on what's happening in front of her with the quaffle and who fell.

Oh no, Madam Pomfrey went a little overboard with all the details of how he might have died. haha Seriously, no one wants to hear stuff like that - no reason to unnecessarily worry people! But then again... wizarding world's sense of safety. Falling to your death is just a mundane kind of event it seems. :P

Awesome chapter!

Author's Response: Mmmm yum, I should eat something actually. I woke up two hours ago and I still haven't hit the fridge. Ha ha, I've been having a lot of breakfast for dinner lately. My parents are busy with work and I have exams to study for soOoO I'm kind of just like, "this takes no time to make and is really delicious. Let's do it!"

SAME! And I thought that it was just me!

Oh they show up to see EVERY game. They're really very clingy.

Yeah, it's really funny. I know right? Really it's like: Want to play a dangerous sport? Sure go ahead Harry. Want to have a dangerous class with a Hippogriff? Definitely Harry. Want to entire a tournament with three horribly dangerous task, one of which you'll have to fight Voldemort after? Why the bloody hell not Harry. Oh, going to the candy shop? Sorry Harry that's way too dangerous, you need a permission slip. What was that? I can't hear you with all of that blood in your mouth.

Yeah, Paula actually said it was one of the most interesting matches she'd ever read. I was very pleased. I think I thanked her a little bit to much.

Yeah. I read this fic once where Albus went to see her all of the time to ask how things worked, so I kind of got my idea from that except that this time LYRA DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW.

Thank you so much!

 Report Review

Review #48, by marauderfanThe Great Tale of Me, Lyra Malfoy: V.

3rd January 2017:
Aw, Lyra really is growing up. She didn't even break Hugo's nose. Instead she used her words. I'm proud of her.

The idea of all these wizards and witches waiting in line to sign the cast of someone they don't really know just because signing a cast is a big deal in a place where they usually have leg-regrowing potions instead of casts... that's hilarious. And also I would expect nothing less from Draco Malfoy than for him to already have the potion. It's extra funny because you just know some kid waited a really long time just to sign Lyra's cast and probably had to sign on top of some other large signature that was taking up too much space, and then it didn't matter anyway because Lyra got the cast off two hours later. Bahahaha.

Can we talk about the fact that Draco has an owl named Romeo. Headcanon: Astoria has one named Juliet.

On a scale of 1 to spatttergroit, how much do you think Draco enjoyed Lyra's response comparing him to Harry Potter? I bet he frowned grumpily and then started re-reading The Fault In Our Stars.

I'm really enjoying this fic so far, though one thing I'd love to see more of would be a bit more scene setting. I feel like it kind of hops from one thing to another pretty quickly and I never feel like I'm entirely in the moment. Maybe take time to describe what things look like, or what Lyra is feeling, or kind of get into her head more so the reader can really understand what makes her tick, as a way to complement all of the dialogue?

It's your story though so you write what you want to write - that's just a bit of CC/personal opinion if you want it. Either way, I'm definitely still enjoying the ride. :) To the next chapter! ♥

Author's Response: I'm proud of her too, she really needed to handle things the prefect way.

I don't even know where I came up with that idea, I just know that as soon as I started writing it I fell in love with it and decided to keep it.

I never even thought of that! Ha ha. But it might interfere with some later events in the story... Hint, hint, hint.

Maybe. But I suppose since Scorpius and Albus are dating they've probably gotten a slightly better relationship. And they work together (something you'll get to see at some point), so.

I've definitely been trying to do that, and I think it's especially improved quite a bit. But it's definitely hard to do, because I feel like with all of the humour and 1st person it gets a bit cluttered and hard to do. But I'm definitely trying!

No, please. I absolutely LOVE CC, how else would any of us get better? I mean really. If it weren't for you guys being like 'that's not right' or 'it's than not then' then where would I be? Especially since I'm not as used to writing in English, be it the fact that it's not my first language.

Lots of love,

 Report Review

Review #49, by marauderfanThe Great Tale of Me, Lyra Malfoy: IV.

3rd January 2017:
I just realized that we have the same style of summary for our stories. Except yours are definitely more comprehensive summaries, haha.

The information Ben chooses to share about the city in Italy is amusing. I mean, normally when I want to know something about a place, the first question in my mind is who is its patron saint. :P

Lyra comes off as a bit... unbalanced here. I mean, being so dramatically revolted by the couples and then actually punching Albus in the nose (possibly breaking it)? ... yikes! I can see why Draco called her a troublemaker.

Tall Awkward Gangly Friend. -- !! You've just invented a term that describes me 100%. I hella relate to this.

Wow, sarcasm does not work as well when not spoken. -- ALSO something I relate to. I have to resort to goofy looking emojis instead. See above statement about the patron saint. :P

I noticed Lyra watching Audrey walking. Do I detect a crush? I hope so because it would really round this story out into a nice rainbow. :D After all, there are no straight people in this story so far, except James.

Am I jealous or do I find love disgusting? -- She might be aromantic! Either that or she's a lonely, bitter teenager surrounded by people in love. Both equally likely options, and I'm not sure which one it is at the moment (neither is Lyra, I guess).

Hogwarts has an Orchestra! My nerdy violist self is very happy about this.

I like that you took into account how Hogwarts would have so many more students - in terms of sorting, and the number of professors teaching each class - as it'd be sort of a baby boom generation after the war, so I like that you included that as it feels pretty realistic.

I'm also excited that they're back at Hogwarts. And I'm still wondering how Lyra got the status of prefect even though she punched Albus in the face.

Great chapter!

Author's Response: We do? Cool. Don't worry, yours are definitely perfectly easy to understand, but with a complex undertone that makes it interesting.

That's Ben, always giving every detail!

Draco didn't really call her a troublemaker, it's just that she is one. I plan to show some of her pranks in the future. She especially likes punching people, if you haven't noticed... Or palming them in the nose.

I hella relate to it too, ha ha!

Nope, no crush. Just best friends who care a lot for each other (Audrey's straight and she has a boyfriend called Parker, whom you'll meet later on in the story). I could have done that, but I chose not to because I absolutely despise stories where EVERYONE is LGBTQA+, they just really annoy me and if you think about aren't inclusive because they leave out straight people (which, let's face it get represented quite enough), but it's a lot more normal to see the balance between straights and gays and aces and transgenders then just having everyone be gay. Oooops sorry, I got a bit ranty there! I apologize.

You play viola? Cool, I play the cello! Yeah, I was going to have Ben play cello, maybe trumpet if I'm feeling up to it.

For sure, I definitely want this story to be silly and out there, but also down to Earth.

Well... She had it before she punched Albus in the face, and no one really saw so.

Thanks so much! Sorry that I've been taking a million and a half years to answer these, I'm normally so quick to answer reviews (because let's face it, I don't get many) but they just started piling up and I found no time to answer them, and when I did I'd procrastinate it. But I promise you that I read all of them when I first got them, and I loved them (and still do).

Bye now!

 Report Review

Review #50, by marauderfanThe Great Tale of Me, Lyra Malfoy: III.

3rd January 2017:
Here come awkward meeting the family shenanigans! I can't wait.

Her way of helping is to just tell her parents when Scorpius has been missing for two days... Helpful!

Lyra is totally right, free food is the #1 way to get anyone to go to anything. That and an open bar.

The long string of Mr Weasley and Mrs Weasley's made me laugh. There are so many of them! And I love how Lyra just described them all as the same thing with their name as an after thought.

I like that she was accepted so easily by all the Potter/Weasley bunch. And most especially that it went over well with Scorpius meeting everyone too - that sounds like a pretty intimidating thing, even if he's known a few of them for a while through school, but this is a different context.

Yay for everyone being happy! Even Lyra, because although she has to put up with her brother and his boyfriend finishing each other's sentences, at least she got some cake out of the deal so it's fair.

Author's Response: Well, I mean he's already MET most of the family, but this is the real deal man.

Honestly that's my way of helping whenever people ask me to come to places that I don't want to go. And yes, free food is amazing. I can't drink quite yet (soon), so an open bar wouldn't exactly convince me, but definitely free food.

Yeah, it's always a joke that I like to mention. Mrs. Weasley, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, are we done yet? Ha ha.

Yeah, it's definitely super intimidating. I wouldn't know, I've been a singleton my entire life. Just haven't found the right person yet.

Cake is her bribe, and she'll put up with anything for it. (More cake bribery to come).

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>