Reading Reviews From Member: marauderfan
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Review #26, by marauderfanThe Next Great Adventure: Chapter 2: The Transportation Office

17th July 2016:
Hi Kaitlin! I'm here for the review hot seat (albeit a bit belatedly since I didn't know it was going on :P ) I'm glad to be getting back to this story. Also: it appears that this is going to be your 100th review on this story. Congrats for reaching 100! :D

“Sorry, sir,” he said, “Office is closed for the night. -- D'awww I know this is an insignificant detail but the guy just called Dobby 'Sir' and I love that XD

A thin piece of glass was all that stood between Dobby and the portkeys inside. He knew he could shatter it in seconds if he used magic, but he wasn’t quite sure he remembered how. -- Guess it's time to jump up and KICK THAT DOOR DOWN, NINJA STYLE. The mental image of this is highly amusing to me. Or I guess he could just try and remember magic...

Your Dobby speech patterns are perfect, btw. This is exactly how Dobby talks in the books - which I assume must be a bit of a challenge to write convincingly, but here you do it so well.

I'm glad the man was so nice though, even after he'd just had the window of his shop smashed in.

It's really weird reading the names that are going to die within the next week or two - Charlie and Hannah. In one sense, it's sad, you know, they're about to die and all, but it's also not sad at all as we're seeing this from the other side where they're not dying, they're arriving! Such an interesting spin on things as seen from the afterlife.

Aah, here goes Dobby with the portkey! Onto the next chapter!

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Review #27, by marauderfanMaybe This Time: Maybe This Time

17th July 2016:
For the hot seat :)

Ahh, this is heartbreaking. How are you so good at this? I love the little sections you used in this, snapshots as she grows up - even in such short segments of words, you say so much.

I was so glad to find a story about Eloise Midgen, because minor characters are my favorites and she's a particularly sympathetic one because literally the only thing we hear of her in the books is Ron making fun of her for her appearance. Obviously, there's more to her than that. And here, she has so much other stuff to deal with, her whole childhood under the shadow of abuse.

And the saddest thing about her mother insisting she's happy and that she wants the same happiness for Eloise... it's so sad because I know this is true for a lot of people. Abusive relationships can be hard to get out of, and the mother must know she's being abused, but either doesn't think of it as that, or always comes back around to this ideal she has of her husband, what he used to be before he became abusive, or what he's like when he's not drinking, or whatever it is that makes her put up with him. It's so sad .

Eloise is so strong though. Yeah, she's been through some duds, in terms of dating, but she's strong enough to realize that she absolutely doesn't want what her mother had, but at the same time wants to make her mother proud. So she just interprets her mother's words in a different way. I just hope that she doesn't find "a man who will never let her go" for the wrong reasons. I just want it to all work out okay for her :(

Beautifully written, Sam.

Author's Response: Thank you again ♥

This story was pretty special to write. Parts of it were drawn from my own childhood, which is something that would be too heavy to write super in depth, so the super micro-fiction format really helped make it possible to write this without it getting to heavy to write or read.

I also love minor characters, and I agree with you about Eloise being sympathetic. In the books she isn't really portrayed that way - we only see her made fun of, and that is her entire canon existence. But of course she is so much more than that. Of course she is more than her acne. My first impulse was to give her a great big joyful life, making the acne the least significant thing about her. And I ended up achieving the latter here - her physical appearance and what Ron Weasley say about her really are the least of her problems. And even though I did not give her a very happy life here, she is very strong and driven, and I think she's someone who should be proud to be herself.

Again, thank you for all three of these reviews, and thank you for all of your crossposts to ao3!

♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #28, by marauderfan19226: 19226

17th July 2016:
Another review for the hot seat!

I watch the girl as she walks, confident and capable in her spotless green robes -- Aah. I thought this meant a Slytherin at first, and that Ginny was still a first year, until I got to the bit about Ginny's bracelet. Clever. And omg sad.

WKAFLKWSKJLFKJE so I just reached the middle of the story and then it all starts going backwards - this is incredible, is there no end to your talents? It reads just as perfectly forwards as backwards, and I LOVE that stylistic choice as it for some reason works really well with Ginny being a patient at St Mungos. The pattern of her thoughts is kind of all over the place, but in the end leaves her right back where she started.

And the last few lines, the way you divided up the sentence into multiple lines - I really liked that as well. Kind of poetic, in a way... maybe because of the shape of the paragraph, in an artistic way - but I like it, it just really works.

A wonderful story - great writing once again. ♥


That was my hope, though I think the only comment I've gotten on it so far is someone who realized it was a Healer right away. I'm glad my deceit works on some!

I don't have much to respond to your review with, except that I love your enthusiastic and flattering feedback. ♥


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Review #29, by marauderfanPretty Little Thing: Pretty Little Thing

17th July 2016:
Saaam! ♥ Apparently the review hot seat was still continuing via twitter, but I didn't know about it until yesterday. So here I am with some belated reviews for the hot seat!

This is so beautifully written, and I love how you unfolded the details about the relationship gradually. At first, it just seems like a relationship that ended sadly where Rolanda is still in love with Septima - seeing and hearing reminders of her everywhere. But as soon as they cross paths and start to have a conversation, it illuminates exactly what went wrong in the relationship, and how unhealthy it was in the first place. Septima really is so rude to her :(

And yet despite that, the narration is absolutely beautiful. Her words seem to flow out of her like liquid, but by the time they reach me they are solid, wrapping like tendrils around my torso and constricting my breath. -- at first I read that as how breathtaking Septima is and that her words are just captivating, but it can also be interpreted as that Septima's words are kind of poisonous and suffocating Rolanda. And it probably means both, given how Rolanda's not totally over Septima. Gah, it's just so good!

And THIS! But I cannot stand here and let her rewrite our history when I also hold a quill. -- ugh this is seriously just gorgeous

I love the end too. She doesn't hear Septima as a voice on the wind or feel her as a cold space. Instead Rolanda just hears herself soaring through the clear air. A perfect end to an amazingly written story. Seriously, you're such a talented author.

Author's Response: Awww, thank you so much Kristin! ♥

I've been taking a hiatus from twitter, so I didn't even realize I was up for the Hot Seat. You're actually the only one who ended up leaving me reviews, so zero apologies are needed for their belatedness.

I am glad that you liked how the nature of Septima and Ro's relationship unfolded over the coarse of the story, and that it worked not to explain everything right off the bat.

You Gahing over my words being good makes me Gah ♥

Thank you so much for all your amazing words ♥


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Review #30, by marauderfanIllicit Obsessions: Illicit Obsessions

16th July 2016:
More for the review hot seat!

Ooh, I really liked this story. I've never seen Peter/Narcissa before, and what an interesting exploration of what made him decide to switch sides. The way you describe the Marauders' friendship in the beginning especially - of course it can't always be as idyllic as it was at Hogwarts, playing pranks and just having a grand time. Life in the real world at war with voldemort is much harder, and it strains their friendship - so Peter finds solace elsewhere when he's lost.

The choice of Narcissa was really interesting too. Since it's from Peter's POV we don't really see what is genuine and what is an act? How long did Lucius know - the whole time? But Peter, I find so easy to believe because his whole life he's been lesser than his friends, the short, ignored one who has a "rat-like face" - so when the girl of his dreams makes a move on him, how could he possibly say no? I found his reaction pretty realistic.

I also have to say that you're really good at writing the sensual scenes. It's so easy to make that kind of thing either too vague, or else tooo much, and you've managed to strike this perfect balance that is descriptive but doesn't take away from the overall story - it adds to it.

This is a wonderfully written fic, thanks for the great read. Nice work!

Author's Response: Hey there! Wow, another unexpected review!

I'm thrilled you picked this little tale, as it's one that's often overlooked. Peter-centric tales are not exactly the most popular, and I should know. Before I was hit with the idea for this story, I never found myself attracted to reading something about the traitor of the Marauders. Inspiration struck while I was in the shower one day and I simply had to write it.

As for choice of Narcissa, that was no random encounter. Lucius and his lovely wife planned the whole thing from the beginning. Some people are tempted by money, others by power. Leave it to a pair of consummate Slytherins to figure out what Peter's vulnerability and take advantage of it.

The sensual scenes weren't easy to write, let me tell you. They originally were more explicit and I kept paring them down. The thrust of the story wasn't the sex - that was merely the weapon Narcissa employed. Poor Peter, though!

Anyways, thank you for the lovely review!


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Review #31, by marauderfanEmbracing Death: Embracing Death

16th July 2016:
Another one for the hot seat!

Wow, this was... I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't this. I really loved it though once I figured out what was going on. I've been kind of getting more into AU lately and this was a really interesting, dark, horrific view into what the world would be if Harry had lost and Voldemort triumphed. Scary place.

But so well written. Like, I can't even imagine how broken and empty Hermione would have to be to agree to this in the first place and literally go back in time to seduce Tom Riddle (and kill him, but honestly killing him would be easier I think :P ) Even if he thinks she's someone else. She's got to be so desperate. And based on the snippets of what the post- war world is like, the torture and Hermione watching everyone she loves be destroyed, I can see how it would have gotten her to actually go through with it. She's sacrificing herself, because she has nothing left anymore, just to make sure that this never happens. I feel like I just got punched.

Though then, she's rewritten the future in a way she can't possibly know what she created instead. :O

A great story - so chilling and really showcases the psychological horror of the war. Nice job.

Author's Response: Hey there!

Ah, you've found one of my darker tales. You're not alone in thinking it's not quite what was expected. A friend challenged me to write a Hermione/Tom Riddle one-shot and this is what she got.


Hermione is not often depicted this way, but that's how my somewhat twisted muse insisted she was. The barren landscape of her mind was not a pleasant place to be taken. In a sense, Hermione is as dead inside as her body was after Snape's spell.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for leaving such a lovely review! It means a lot because this story is often overlooked.



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Review #32, by marauderfanIf Only in His Dreams: Winter's Solstice

16th July 2016:
Hi Alexis! I just discovered the hot seat had continued on Twitter, though I missed it until now so I'm sorry about this very delayed review! Anyway, this is for the hot seat!

Awww, this was so sweet. An adjective I never thought I'd use to describe a story about Snape and Lily, because I'm not the greatest fan of Snape, but this is just so... innocent. (Mostly. But it's SO in character that Snape turned his face so she wouldn't just kiss him on the cheek.. :P ) I think the fact that they're just kids though, best friends - and Snape is in the mindset of being so genuinely happy and not hating everyone, it is sweet. And the fact that it's just this one moment, when the beginning and the end of the story are an adult Snape many years later, very alone. It just emphasizes the happiness of that one moment.

And your descriptions are gorgeous - it makes the scene just magic.

For a moment, the veil between worlds stretched thin until it was merely a pale gossamer curtain that separated the past from the present. -- I absolutely LOVE this visual. Beautiful.

Great work on this story!!

Author's Response: Whaaat is this? I didn't know the Hot Seat had continued! I thought with the implosion of the forums, the Hot Seat was kinda of dead. Then again, I don't have a Twitter account. But oh wow! Imagine my surprise when I went to edit a chapter and found your lovely reviews.

This story was one of the times when the muse just took off and I just tagged along for the ride. Some of the descriptions are based on having lived once where it snowed. Anyways, I've always thought there might have been a moment when Severus and Lily friendship might have ventured further, something poignant and so personal that he’d recall later when he cast his Patronus.

Thanks for making my day with your review!



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Review #33, by marauderfanLiar: Lovers

14th July 2016:

because rationalizing his emotions was the only way he knew to deal with them. -- this is so 100% Remus

Aw, I'm glad Remus talked to his dad and asked his advice. And he came out! Maybe it'll take John some time to adjust to that but he didn't seem upset - he still cares just as much about his son, and that makes me happy - especially because in this time period it was so much more difficult for people who weren't straight. You know what though, John didn't even answer Remus' original question! haha.

Portraits were snoring in their ornate frames along the deserted fourth floor’s corridor, softly illuminated by the light of the crescent moon filtering through the high windows. Not a soul could be seen there, yet footsteps echoed against the stony walls, and words, whispered by invisible owners. -- gorgeous imagery here! I can envision this so perfectly :D

LOLOLOL Remus found them because he smelled them. Either he has very powerful sense of smell due to his wolfy side, or the other three just haven't had showers in a few days. Haha

Aw, cool to see the very beginnings of the Marauder's Map!

OMG HOW COULD YOU DO THAT all the joking and fun of them sneaking around the corridors and then they find Mary like that! I was not expecting that and then ahh :O

Sorry to be picky :P but... tapestry of a marine landscape -- a landscape is by definition land and therefore not marine... unless it's of the ocean floor? If you want the tapestry to be of an ocean scene maybe you could say seascape, or a rocky seashore, or even just 'an ocean scene'?

gah, whenever Regulus and Sirius talk it makes me SO SAD. like, they eventually ended up on the same side, and they started out on the same side as they were (I imagine) close when they were younger, but they just lead such different lives during their Hogwarts days. I love that you pointed out how similar they look. That would be really hard for Sirius, to see this person who resembles him so much, who used to look up to him, and is now doing things that result in people lying wounded on the floor. What used to be, versus what is. You said it all here: Sirius was undecided if it was more tempting to pull him in a hug or to punch him.

“To whom?” -- whatever qualms I may have with Regulus, at least he knows his grammar :P

The whole discussion between Regulus and Sirius was so good, but especially this: “Who are you to decide what’s right or wrong? -- because really, who can decide? They're both doing what they think is right, but that happens to be on opposing sides. gah! so heartbreaking, but so good

You can’t trust her. She’s only an opportunist. And she’ll throw you away the moment she’ll learn what you are.” -- OMG Peter is so manipulative. This is seriously playing on Remus' insecurities... it's no wonder Peter was able to get away with being a spy for a year.

I like that Peter was the one who initiated the kiss. Mainly because I can't ever see Remus being the one who initiates anything, but this story really brings a new light to Peter because both he and Remus are the quieter, less forward of the Marauders and pairing the two of them brings out such interesting dynamics.

Aw, I loved Sirius and Remus' bro chat. Sometimes Sirius' advice is exactly what Remus needs just because of the different ways they see things. Remus is very prone to overcomplicating things, and Sirius oversimplifies them, and a fresh perspective can help sometimes. I hope it helps Remus sort through his love life problems at the very least! Poor guy.

Aw, though, I'm so glad he and Pete worked it out in the end! :D It's nice to see them both happy for a bit :)

Loved this chapter! Hope things are going well with you.

* *
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Author's Response: Finally here to answer this incredibly awesome review! (I love you, Kristin... You know that, right? Maybe you're tired to hear me say that, but it's the truth...)

Yes, that's Remus. (That's me, too, but irrelevant...)

I love John and Silvia, they are just the sweetest of parents. I imagined that if they could raise a werewolf, it wouldn't be so hard to accept Remus not being straight (even if they would be a bit shocked at first). Do you feel I oversimplified things here?

Ahahah! You're right, he didn't answer Remus' original question. I think the Lupins have a talent for that. :P

Ah, glad you liked the description! :) Descriptions drive me crazy, either I skip them altogether or I feel like I overdo them... I still have a lot to learn...

Ahahah! It was his wolfy side, of course. But I wouldn't exclude the non-showering possibily either... :P

Erm... sorry... :( Poor Mary... The building of the scene that way wasn't planned, it just sort of happened... Sorry for the sudden dark turn... :(

Ah... didn't realize that... I just translated the word "panorama", which can refer to both landscape or seascape or any-scape, actually... (why is English so hard?) Thank you for pointing that out.

I love writing Sirius and Regulus together, even if it breaks my own heart a bit. They are so similar and yet so different and you can tell that they care about each other, despite their opposing views. Their relationship is so incredibly complex and I just love to explore it.

Ahahah! Well, a Black ought to know grammar, don't you think?

Like the Hat said, Peter likes things to go his way. And he is very manipulative. We'll see the extent of it later on.

I agree with you, Remus just isn't the type to initiate anything. :P And while Peter is quiet not that straightforward himself, he knows what he wants and (like I said above) likes things to go his way. I'm glad you find their dynamics interesting.

I had a lot of fun writing the conversation between Sirius and Remus. They are so opposite, and I totally agree that Remus needs to hear a more relaxed perspective on things from time to time.

Glad they worked it out, too. :) Not sure how long it will last, though...

Thank you so, so, so much for this incredible review! You have no idea how happy it made me! :D

The biggest snowball hug ever!

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Review #34, by marauderfanPeriphery: Introduction

9th July 2016:
Hi Sarah, I'm finally here with your requested review from HPFT!

After reading this chapter, the primary thing that sticks with me is how marvelously you've set the tone. It's very dark and bleak, even from the very beginning, with the cold and the stone all around her and the way everything outside looks so far away. The suggestion of Chloe's loneliness is there without you having to say anything - and in fact this entire chapter, there's a lot said without you directly saying the words. Showing, not telling: one of the most effective techniques in writing, and you're definitely succeeding.

So, for your areas of concern: The introduction does effectively raise questions- especially the author's note! Normally I do love things that stick to canon, but your very same reason for writing this - exploring cause and effect - is a huge part of my own AU story as well, so I really relate to that, and I'm so curious to see how you'll explore cause and effect in the Marauders era, and how one little difference could change the fate of so many. And here, something is different - Marlene died after Lily and James, and is that due to an insignificant change you made - and what else is changed by the delay in Marlene's death?

The mother's condition is vague, but I think that's good. You don't want to give everything away in the first chapter, so this raises enough questions to get a reader interested in continuing to further chapters to find out some answers.

As for Chloe's relationship with Sirius - certainly very mysterious, because he's only mentioned twice here. Chloe obviously has some history with him, based on how she feels about seeing his handwriting, but the last line - that was unexpected. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I don't know whether the past relationship Chloe had with Sirius was a bad thing or a good thing. So... it is vague, but I prefer that rather than an infodump of her whole past. :P

You also asked about your summary, and honestly I love it. It hints at the ripple effect of insignificant changes, and already gives an interesting context to your narrator. It's great. However I would say that this sentence seems worded a bit oddly to me: She didn't ask to watch her friends die by their own hand. - like the number of people doesn't agree with the number of hands :P I think it'd work better as "hands".

Another small grammar note:
I pulled the sleeves of my jumper over my knuckles, clutching tightly. - Okay, this may be sort of picky, but this sentence distracted me and had me wondering. What is she clutching? Is she clenching her fists inside her sleeves or clutching the end of the jumper sleeves within her fist? - this isn't really a detail that needed to be worried about but it just felt like it was missing a noun there.

Anyway, I really enjoyed what you have of this so far. It's much different from the other writing I've read by you, but the switch to a totally different genre seems to come naturally to you. Great work on this! And please feel free to re-request when you've got more chapters up :)

Author's Response: HELLO YOU! Thank you so much for checking out this fic, especially after you were kind enough to read KC&CO. I pretty much rely entirely on the Reviews Offered thread when starting a new fic, and I'm very grateful that you offered one ♥

It's so good to hear that the "showing, not telling" came through. I've really been harping on this in my review responses but that was kind of my mantra while writing this. Dumping a lot of information on the reader in the beginning is a bad habit of mine *cough* KC&CO *cough* (Though to be fair, the tone's a bit more conversational there and Edie is a blabbermouth and oMG SARAH THE STORY IS OVER STOP TALKING ABOUT IT)

Yes, I see you have a story of your own that explores similar themes of "butterfly effect," etc. etc. I'll have to give it a read after this. Maybe you're feeling nervous like I am; tbh adhering completely to canon in fic isn't really one of my priorities. I want to say "I mean yeah, Harry is a boy and his parents were killed by Voldemort" but honestly I would read a fic about Harriet Potter having a completely normal life and meeting Ron and Hermione, sooo... My point is, a part of me is nervous about writing this because I have had people come at me with torches and pitchforks because I screwed up a canon reference, and I don't want that to happen again (Also at the same time, it's my fic and like, let me do what I want?? Plus HP has been around for long enough that, unless you're writing a Next Gen fic, pretty much everything that could be considered completely canon has already been done so I say GO FOR IT and do something DIFFERENT)

Okay wow *gets off soapbox*

Ahhh yes the last line! I'll admit I wrote it and was like *vigorous head-nod* "ye." Hopefully it raises some questions and maybe ruffles some feathers. I love the Sirius/Marlene ship and it will be present in this story. I don't want to give too much away but I want to explore how these people--the Marauders--have been martyred by history, yes, but they were humans and they were flawed and maybe not as amazing as everyone says they were, or as Harry imagined them to be in his POV.

Thank you so much for pointing out those editing errors! I didn't really think about the first one (hand v. hands) so thank you, and I was really struggling with the second sentence you mentioned. Originally I said "clutching them tightly" but then I was like is "them" her hands or the sleeves of her sweater and OMG SARAH YOU DON'T HAVE TO OVER-EXPLAIN EVERYTHING but I think you're right; that sentence needs clarification to even make sense at all. Thank you for pointing those out, I will be sure to fix them!

I'm off to read your fic right now, as you've been so kind to me over the years that I've sucked at doing anything on HPFF other than writing my own story. And the second chapter is up, so I will most definitely be poking you for another review, if the offer is still on the table.

Thank you so much! I really really really do appreciate it ♥

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Review #35, by marauderfanThe Next Great Adventure: Chapter 1: Happenings

29th June 2016:
Hi Kaitlin! I'm pretty sure I still owed you one more review as a prize for winning the least favorite challenge, but I can't remember. If I didn't, then I at least owed you a (belated) birthday review!


Oh good, they have firewhiskey in the afterlife.

DOBBY. How many years has he been gone and he STILL tries to punish himself for every little thing? Aw. I hope the others there have been looking after him and restraining him from smashing his head against walls.

Wow, what kind of a test is this? If it's so intense that even people who are already dead are worrying about not making it... yikes. It sounds like the afterlife equivalent of the triwizard tournament. Except... you win or you die. :P

The argument between Sirius and Molly made me sad. I would have hoped that they'd had some time to reconcile their differences and be on friendly terms with one another, because they were always on the same side, concerned with the safety of the people they loved. All the same, it wasn't really out of character for either of them. Molly would bring up something like that from the past, and Sirius would be super defensive about it. Sigh. Old habits die hard I guess.

Speaking of Sirius, to me it did actually seem slightly out of character when he was so outraged that Dobby was the one chosen. At least how I interpreted his view of house elves - his animosity towards Kreacher had nothing to do with him being a house elf and everything to do with the fact that Kreacher represented the family that had hated Sirius and made his childhood miserable. So, I don't know, that scene seemed a bit off to me - it just wasn't what I expected - but that's only my opinion so feel free to ignore it! :P

Dobby would be so great as a guide for Harry though. I mean, despite all the things Dobby did in CoS that resulted in Harry getting blamed for exploding a cake, flying a car to school, etc., Dobby was ALWAYS there for Harry and cared so much. Without Dobby, Harry would have failed the triwizard tournament, and also died at age 17. I'm also really beyond excited to read a fic about Harry and Dobby going on an adventure. like. you have no idea. the plot alone, it can only be amazing, and since it's written by you - doubly amazing.

Great chapter! I can't wait to read more of this. I can certainly see why people have been saying this story is so good! :)

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Review #36, by marauderfanLiar: Marauders

28th June 2016:
Chiara!! I'm sorry I'm the SLOWEST reviewer of all time. But I'm here!

For some reason I really like that you interrupted Remus' letter with the narration, and then even cut off the letter at the end when Peter walks in. That's how writing letters works in real life - who actually writes down a whole thing just in one go without having to sit and think about it at some point? (okay, maybe some people do that, but I don't :P ) Anyway, I like that it felt like this was all happening in real time as Remus wrote the letter.

Aw, and Remus is still insisting he doesn't want to be friends with Sirius and James. Haha. It's okay Remus, we'll let you rethink that in a couple of weeks.

Black said with uncharacteristic seriousness -- Teehee... Siriusness. :P Yes that is still funny

Sirius has a good point about the hair potion James's dad invented. It's pretty hilarious actually that James, who is always mentioned as having messy hair, is the son of the person who invented the potion that cures messy hair. How much do you think James' hair annoyed his father???

They actually noted the dates and everything. Who said they couldn't study?

Hey, Remus, do you perchance transform in a huge, furry monster once a month? -- that ought to do the trick :P

"James, you can't be serious!"
"I'm not. You are." James smirked, as Sirius rolled his eyes.
-- Ahaha. There it is.

"No way! Hugging is for sissies. I have no intention-"
"Well, now. That's totally sexist." Lily complained
-- Preach it Lily! :D Feminist Lily is my favourite headcanon.

Srius huffed annoyed, but in the end joined his friends and put his arms around them. Remus burst into tears once more. That had been, without a doubt, the happiest moment in his young life. -- Aww. :') This is so sweet. *joins in on the hug too*

LOL Sirius's nickname for Remus - Supreme Seer and King of Ill Omen. No wonder they went with 'Moony' instead. XD

The moment when Peter forgot his own birthday is the moment he became the most relatable to me. Don't worry Peter it happens. Aww but that was such a sweet gift that they got for him!!

The rhyming prank was BRILLIANT. Omg, I love it. And McGonagall speaking several verses of poetry to them about detention was just.. the best thing. I love that that's where they got the nickname the Marauders as well! And the last scene was really sweet as well when Remus has friends there for his transformation and he's so much happier :)

LAst but not least, I just made cookies and there's way too many so here, you deserve some for such a wonderful chapter! *sends Chiara sone virtual cookies*

You are amazing!
♥ ♥
Snowball hugs!

Author's Response: Aww, Kristin! *hug* *wub*
How much do I love you on a scale from 1 to 10? At least 50!!! :D

I'm so glad you liked the chapter! And I can't thank you enough for this super sweet, super detailed review! *more hugs*

Isn't it how writing a letter goes? You start, then stop to think, then start again, then someone interrups you... Glad you liked it! :)

Ahahah! Poor, stubborn Remus! But we know he'll change his mind! ;)

Erm... can't avoid some Siriusness... it wasn't actually meant as a pun there... except that it was... :P

Ahahah! Poor Fleamont... his son's hair must've been such a pain for him! :D

They can study. But only when and what they decide to. ;) (and we know they can take notes, if it means helping a friend! ;) )

Ah, yes... Remus would be thrilled to have such a conversation... Poor Remus...

This time the pun was intended! :P

Ahahah! I so love feminist Lily! :D She's awesome!

Aww... so glad you found it sweet! *joins in the hug too*

Why? Supreme Seer and King of Ill Omen is such a practical nickname! :P

Poor little Petey... yes, that happens! :) It was a sweet present! Aren't they all adorable?

I spent so much time trying to figure out a good prank... then the idea came and it was the funniest thing ever to write!!! :D Glad you liked McGonagall's poetry! My favourite part as well! :D

Remus is so lucky to have the friends he got, isn't he? The Marauders are amazing!!!

Ah, thank you! I really need your virtual cookies to start the day sweetly! Are they gluten free, though? :P

Thank you so so so much for this awesome review! It really brightened my morning!

All my love and hugs and kisses!

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Review #37, by marauderfanBeyond Repair: A Highly Unusual Day

25th June 2016:
Renee! I read the first five chapters of this ages ago and I could have sworn I'd reviewed this before, but it look like I didn't! I'm so sorry. I am the worst. So I'm going to make up for that now!

First here is me gushing about the story as a whole. I love this. Your portrayal of Petunia and Lily is so adorable, so touching, and so realistic. Petunia as a child is not always nice, but I can really understand her. Maybe because I'm an older sibling myself, but all the moments when Petunia is jealous of Lily being so doted on and the golden child of the family - I could relate to Petunia. And what I especially love about the way you write their relationship - of course they fight, and they're jealous of one another sometimes and try to look cool in front of their friends and don't always get along, but at the end of the day, they are sisters and they care about each other. I loved the chapter where they're on their pretend boat, it was adorable. I just love the realism of the way you portray these two characters, and the sweet sisterly moments between them are even more special knowing how it all turns out later.

Which makes this chapter so much sadder. It felt like a long string of misunderstandings, and reading this chapter I just felt like it didn't have to be the way it was! Even after all that's happened, Lily is excited to tell Petunia her thoughts about Hogwarts and says she'll miss her sister, and Petunia backs Lily up in that scene when Lily's parents find out about magic. Until the last section of the chapter, it didn't feel like she thought Lily was a freak, just that she was sad to be left out of all the excitement, and annoyed that Lily could share that excitement instead with Snape, whom Petunia hates.

And then they fight, just as Lily's about to leave for months, which means they leave on a bad note, and then you have that ominous ending line about a storm coming. You've had all sorts of symbolism in the story so far that I really love - they used to sit through the storms together, and Petunia was afraid of storms (which is so appropriate, because here you have storms symbolizing conflict, and Petunia totally demonstrates this aversion to conflicts several times - not thinking about Snape's background, covering for Lily at the slumber party... it's all there and I can tell how much thought you put into it - it's fantastic. Anyway, before I got sidetracked talking about your excellent symbolism, I wanted to point out that the end of this chapter made me sad, because it really feels like the point where they stop being friends :(

on the topic of less sad things:

She’d been on the phone arguing with Susie, and his lecture interrupted her phone call. It was totally embarrassing. -- haha this is classic! Daaad, stop embarrassing me in front of my frieeends! this line made me laugh.

And I loved the appearance of McGonagall arriving to explain about magic. Everything about that scene was wonderful :D

this was such a great chapter, a wonderful story overall, and of course that a/n about you having a backlog of finished chapters makes me very happy as well.

now go summarize your research article. :P

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Review #38, by marauderfanHaunting Shadows: Shadows

20th June 2016:
Heya Jill! I'm here for the review you requested on HPFT!

I love your writing of the Weasley twins :D They're wonderfully in character and I love seeing them pop up in the story. Same with Angelina and Alicia - it kind of helps ground the story into the Hogwarts era setting. I also like the way all the interactions with the Weasley twins juxtaposed right next to Cate and her twin brother interacting, really emphasizes the difference between the two sets of twins. Fred and George of course are inseparable, and especially compared to that, Cate and Tommy are so opposite. She sort of just hides from him.

Cliff-type rocks -- What exactly is that? Jagged rocks? Weathered granite? Tall slabs of rock? there are lots of types of cliffs :P

Okay, so I thought that italic bit was a flashback at first. Then it got really alarming. So it's a nightmare, and I'm interpreting it in the metaphorical way, as in blood on her hands = she blames herself. But Chris's death still has something to do with water, I suppose. I don't know. Definitely still mysterious.

Although it is obvious by the end of that section that it is a dream, it doesn't really read like one to me. At least, I've never had a dream that was that coherent. I think mostly this is due to the referencing swimming in the quarry on past occasions, as well as the very crisp dialogue and actions of the characters. Normally that's a very good thing, because it paints such a clear picture, but since it feels so much like an event that's really happening (until the blood), in which everything makes sense and nothing is off, it doesn't feel much like a dream. Think about your most vivid, detailed dream and then read the dream section to yourself, to get and idea of what I mean. Of course, maybe you intended it that way because Cate's dreams seem very real to her, in which case I just said a lot of irrelevant stuff :P Basically, have a look at the section and you can decide for yourself from there! :)

Anyway, you asked about the suspense, and I think you are still doing a really good job of that. More details have come out in this chapter, but we still don't have the whole picture, for example what exactly happened to Chris, how (and if?) it relates to the triwizard tournament, and why Cate blames herself. And that's good - you're not dragging it out tediously by giving no hints, but there's still plenty of mystery to keep readers interested.

As for the ghost at the end, I doubt he's a real ghost, but Cate certainly is very haunted by Chris. She keeps pushing everyone away who is close to her, but she needs help :( At least she doesn't completely isolate herself - I'm glad she's at least studying with Lee.

This was a great chapter and I was so glad to come back to read something of yours again! Wonderful writing. :)

Author's Response: Hi, Kristin!!

I am so glad you're enjoying my take on the canon characters. I struggle so much writing the Weasley twins because humor tends to escape me when writing, and I'm glad that they seem in character! And you're right, Cate and Tommy are totally different from Fred and George, which was kind of on purpose. I'm not sure if she necessarily *hides* from him, but they ARE opposites with their share of issues.

Okay, so, the dream/flashback. Spoiler? Ish? It's SUPPOSED to be very vivid and very real, I wrote it like that on purpose. I do see what you mean, though, and perhaps I'll be exploring that in future chapters, but for now, this is exactly as it should be. It's half that it's very real to her and half that it's supposed to be more of a flashback-dream. I hope that makes sense!

I'm glad the suspense is still there. I've been struggling with how much I should reveal and when I should reveal it, so I'm glad that the details seem to be presenting themselves and that there's still enough to keep everyone interested at this point.

But *is* he a real ghost? We'll have to wait and see ;)

Thank you so much for the wonderful review!


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Review #39, by marauderfanto the end of time: A Moment of Confidence

20th June 2016:
Claire. There is a problem.

Actually there are two problems, but the main one is that the Next Chapter button seems to have disappeared. Any chance you can fix it? bc I need more of this story.

the other problem - you guessed it! - is the way this chapter broke my heart. Lavender is engaged, Parvati finally, FINALLY told her of her feelings, and Lavender... walked away? Did she walk away because she's annoyed at Parvati's outburst, or did she walk away to cope with her feelings about Parvati which she herself has been fighting against for years?

I have to know!

Thank goodness for Padma in this chapter. She's the only one who can really understand and I'm so glad she's there for her!

Although it was so sad and painful, I think you wrote that scene really well when Parvati tries to come to terms with Lavender's engagement while at the same time trying to act happy for her friend. There was so much internal turmoil going on there and it was so well written.

Excellent chapter and I'll be looking out for the next one!

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Review #40, by marauderfanto the end of time: Move In

20th June 2016:
now they're flatmates! I have a weakness for flatmates-falling-in-love stories. Also I gotta say that either Parvati is incredible at keeping her feelings under wraps, or Lavender is kind of oblivious. That crush has been going strong for years by this point. Obviously nothing gets past Padma though, because no one knows Parvati like her twin!

I also like that you weaved Lavender's trauma into the story, because of course she's not doing just fine after what she went through. Things are different now, Lavender is different. But the two girls are still best friends (and yeah they've already lived together for 7 years at Hogwarts!)

I like Padma in this story. Yeah, she kind of comes across as a wet blanket at times because she's the Voice of Reason who's questioning Parvati's decisions, but... a lot of what she's saying makes sense. She kind of gets Parvati out of her head for a bit because she has some distance from the situation and can maybe see it clearer than Parvati. But of course Parvati kind of seems too stubborn to listen to her :P Besides, what's the worst that could happen? (... famous last words)

suddenly I'm legit addicted to this story it's tooo good

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Review #41, by marauderfanto the end of time: Should Have Said

20th June 2016:
ahh, this was such an emotional chapter! And that first scene really added so much. I mean, we know what happens to Lavender in the battle, but having that extra scene beforehand when Parvati thinks of telling her friend how she feels, and then that chance slips away - it could have ended SO sadly. I'm so happy Lavender is going to live though! I also feel like what just happened is a pretty strong impetus for her to tell Lavender in the next chapter ;)

The second scene was just heartwrenching, with her and Padma and Seamus, and Parvati's terror and desperation just radiating off the page. I can't believe this chapter is as short as it is because it has so much in it, it just feels way longer. You did an amazing job conveying Parvati's emotions during this terrifying time for her, and it was lovely to see another appearance of her sister and some of her other friends and their wonderful support network.

Aaah! still loving this story so much!

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Review #42, by marauderfanto the end of time: My Sweetheart

20th June 2016:
Hey Claire! I'm here for the Pride weekend reviewing event on HPFT!

I'd totally been looking forward to this moment, and it did not disappoint :D Parvati's reaction to that necklace was about as perfect as I could have asked for. She's honest, as any good friend is - says it's not very much like Ron and maybe it's more of something Lavender would want - but she's also supportive. Even if it means lying a bit to cheer her up haha.

I continue to really love your characterization of Lavender. She is so much more than she is in the books, while still keeping those characteristics that make her who she is. She's still giggly and buys dumb gifts for Ron, but I loved that scene at the end where she realizes why Parvati is upset (or what Parvati tells her, at least) and she's not angry or anything, she forgives Parvati immediately and they make sure to have more best friend time. And that's so important. Even if the two of them never get together romantically, I'd still love this story because of its beautiful portrayal of friendship between two girls (which is often neglected in movies and other media in favour of romantic storylines instead. i could rant about this for a while so i'll stop haha) SO anyway. I love Parvati and Lavender as friends, just as much as I love the idea of them as a future couple :)

Great chapter!

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Review #43, by marauderfanLet Perpetual Light: The Last Enemy

17th June 2016:
First of all - congratulations on finishing your first novel!!! ♥ That's such an exciting accomplishment :) *slices a celebratory cake*

This was such a great chapter. It really did justice to the story of the Dumbledores which we knew the bare bones of from the books, but this filled in all the gaps in such a rich way. I also like that you started and ended the novel in similar ways - although sad (as both chapters involved a funeral), it had the effect of sort of bringing things back around where they started, whereas the situations and the characters have changed in the meantime.

Grindelwald's letter in the beginning is markedly different from his earlier ones. The other ones were all sort of mocking and selfish, like Gellert enjoys the idea of tormenting Albus even from far away, partly because he's still bitter at Albus not going with him and for things not working out how Gellert wanted, I think, and also partly because he's bored in prison. Mostly the letters are for himself, even if he sends them to Albus. But this last one really is for Albus, and it seems to be the most honest Gellert has been in this novel. The fun of sending passive-aggressive letters has worn off, and he's still not happy. Though, because this is Gellert, I suppose part of the letter really is still selfish. I think he's trying to clear his own conscience as well.

The way you wrote Gellert's grief at Ariana's death was so perfect as well - particularly the image of him going back to Bathilda's house and collapsing (and Bathilda having no idea what to do), and then almost immediately putting on his mask again and carrying on. Obviously he's upset, but he's not really sure how to process it. Even if the reason for his being upset wasn't totally about Ariana, and more that Gellert never figured her out and that he might have been partly responsible for her death, I think that event really affected him - though not enough for him to stop seeking the Hallows. He is still stubborn.

I also noted the vast disparity between his reaction and Albus' reaction - with Gellert being upset and then just as easily moving on, while for Albus it's like the ultimate wake up call. As we know from later Dumbledore, this is the event that really changed him, and it's evident in his reactions and how he talks afterwards to Aberforth and to Gellert. I mean, there's definitely still elements of who Albus always was before, with him trying to convince Aberforth to stay in school, but his stubbornness is gone, in contrast to Gellert.

He turns the space of the kitchen and the living room into spirals of aimless miles. -- I really liked that visual.

Aw, thanks for that shoutout at the end! And aaah, so reading the last chapters of novels is always kind of bittersweet. You know, because I love the satisfaction of finding out how it all ends, but then there's no more! And with this story, which I've been following from the beginning, over 2 years ago, it's kind of sad to not have any more of it to read! But. This was a phenomenal story and I have so enjoyed reading it. You are such a talented writer. And congrats once again on finishing your novel!! ♥

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Review #44, by marauderfanHero: Lionheart

5th June 2016:
Sooo, she comes home from finding out this horrible truth and has to pretend everythings just swell during a family Christmas dinner. Oh good. Meanwhile, Tom is in her house and at that very moment discussing Horcruxes with Mr Burke bc he's planning to murder some people. (Well, Burke doesn't know that, but.) LKAJFLKJ

“I am the Heir of Slytherin.” -- Um. I've got a bad feeling about this. Why would he be telling her this unless he planned to make sure she had no way to spread that information around? Something bad is going to happen to Hero and he'll make it look like an accident O__O

^that was when I first began to suspect just how unhappy the end would be but I was still unhappy when I read it. D': I can't believe you did that, you evil author. Well actually, I can believe it. Your Tom Riddle is so believable. I could totally see him doing something exactly like this. He's so confident that he's got the Blishwick family in the palm of his hand, that he's convinced they'll believe his act about 'oh no it was a spider, totally an accident that she died!' Sad thing is they probably will believe him.

Hero never seemed particularly Befuddled to me like the Befuddlement Draught would make her, she just seemed like a normal girl who'd been taken in by Tom's false charm.

As much as I hate that she died, that death scene was incredibly written. I love the metaphor of the curtains closing, and how descriptive those last few paragraphs are. I can envision it so perfectly which is interesting because it's so, so different depending on whether you're looking from outside or from what Hero sees. From the outside, it just looks like Tom is holding her as she dies, he's (pretending to be) worried and caring. But for Hero it's got to be awful, after everything he did to people she loved and to herself, she is unable to move and she's stuck in his arms, especially because after all she's learned, his arms are probably the last place she wants to die. Ughhh. It's just such good writing!

Wow though. I can't believe this story is over! It was so good. I loved Finn as a character, probably because he shows the potential to change and now he's stuck in this weird situation where he'll probably figure out the truth about Hero but can't say anything to Tom or he will meet the same fate. I'm looking forward to seeing the sequel from his POV.

Amazing work on this, Bianca!! ♥ You're such a talented writer and I can't wait to read more from you :)

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much, Kristin, and thank you for sticking until the very end! Your reviews have always been so amazing to receive ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #45, by marauderfanHero: Hangleton

5th June 2016:
ngl it's like impossible to keep up with updates these days since I basically never log on to hpff anymore so imagine my surprise when I saw this story was COMPLETED? I was totally not expecting that we were that close to the end of the story. ah!


The house’s usual smell of lilies and cleanliness was overpowered by the smell of gingerbread, which was wafting through the house from the kitchen. I wasn’t hungry, but my mouth watered as the smell reached my nostrils. -- I wasn't hungry either, until I read this. Why is there no gingerbread in my mouth right now.

“Hello, Amy,” he said. -- I CALLED IT

Tom is SUCH a jerk. (Surprise to no one) But seriously, he only came in there to freak Amy out. He didn't even order a coffee.

And Darcy's whole story was heartbreaking. I mean, I knew what happened already, but her testimony of how it affected her and Noah was just... :'( Of course she and Noah were protective of her and it explains why she distrusted Hero at first. She'd been told by countless doctors that she was crazy, had these terrors and experiences totally invalidated to the point where she's just holding all this trauma inside and Noah is the only person who understands. And poor Noah as well, having electroshock therapy - that's so severe of a treatment but also really believable for the time period.

Now what? I feel like Tom is going to suspect she's been to see Darcy, or at least will know she's figured out that Tom isn't everything he pretends to be.

The last line worries me as well, because knowing Darcy is angry and that she JUST saw Tom not an hour ago, I think she'll be hell bent on revenge for all he did to her. And... well, basically I don't foresee a happy ending. At all.

I'm going to eat lunch and I will be right back to read that unhappy ending.

PS did you know a group of jellyfish is called a smack?

Author's Response: I was super speedy on the last few chapters, I admit!

Yep, you called it from the start! Well done :D

I hope your lunch was delicious, and a smack of jellyfish is something that makes me laugh when I think about it!

Thank you ♥

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Review #46, by marauderfanLiar: Gryffindors

1st June 2016:
Chiara, hi ♥ With the forums offline I've really missed you, but it doesn't mean I can't keep in touch by living in your author page hehe. So now here I go, attempting to read as many of your wonderful stories as I can while the archives are still here! I loved the first chapter of this so I'm back to read more!

Aw, poor Peter. I totally relate to that feeling he has here of being totally out of place and having the sense that everyone is laughing at you :( I feel so bad for him. Why are you making me feel bad for him? It only makes it more difficult knowing what he becomes. (Though this is an AU, right? Maybe Peter doesn't switch sides in this? I'll have to find out...)

He never even knew his mother had siblings. --- oooh is he in for a surprise. She's a Yaxley. So his cousins are going to be...interesting. Cue Peter about to find out about significant family drama the hard way...

Aw, poor Remus. Sadly it isn't too hard to picture this scene, of Remus being kind of ignored by James and Sirius while they're too absorbed in their own conversation and laughter to even notice Remus at first.

"Would you really decide who you want to be, based on who your friends are? Don't you find it childish?"
"Well… I’m eleven... " Peter justified himself sheepishly.
-- This is perfection. Peter has this kind of quiet but wry honesty that I love. And I love that he sasses the Sorting Hat. Also I've always thought it very likely that a huge part of the reason he was sorted into Gryffindor was because he admired Gryffindor traits. And you've managed to show that he even displays bravery (occasionally) and loyalty, which helps explain why he's in Gryffindor.

I honestly really like your portrayal of Peter as an observant person. I haven't seen that before, but it's very true that those who are kind of forgotten about tend to just watch from the sidelines and as such do a lot of watching and listening. Peter makes sense as that person. And it's possible to be an observant person who still struggles at spellwork -those aren't mutually exclusive, because they're different forms of intelligence. Maybe what Peter lacked in school-smarts he made up for in perceptiveness. Anyway, I like that this chapter made me think about that.

Hmmm, wondering how long it will be before Peter figures out Remus' secret. He knows there is a secret, but not what it is. Which totally makes sense, because if Peter could figure it out within a month, others at Hogwarts would probably have figured it out within seven years haha

Also, I gotta say this. Having just read the Lark and the Nightingale (which I LOVED), your amazing improvement in writing is very clear here. I know you wrote that some time ago, and this is your most recent writing, and there's such a difference in terms of your scene setting and character portrayal and just general writing maturity. It's so cool to see that. :D You're such a good writer!!

This is a wonderful chapter, Chiara - great work! ♡ All my love and snowball hugs.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: Aww... Kristin...
I've missed you too! You have no idea how much! *wub*
I've been meaning to send you a DM on Twitter, and to keep reading "Walking the line", but I never got the chance. I'm planning on some reviewing these days, though (days off today and tomorrow!!!) so it's possible that I'll stop by your AP soon! ;)

Actually, I'm glad you can relate to him and feel bad for him. :P And yes, this is AU, but no spoilers, I'm sorry... (actually, if you want spoilers, you can read Jimmy Portman. It won't explain everything, but it'll probably give you an idea about how Liar shall end)

I need to put in more family drama... an idea is forming... mmmh...

Poor Remus... but James and Sirius are simply like that, it's not their fault... :P

So glad you liked Peter's Sorting! He does have this wry honesty! At least at this age, he will change over the years. And Peter is brave in his own way. And he surely admired Gryffindor traits. Glad you liked his portrayal! :D

It's just the way I see him, you know? The quiet one who observes things and keeps information for himself. It's fitting to his character, in my opinion. And it explains why he was such a good spy for Voldemort later on.

Peter knows Remus is hiding something. Discovering what that something is will take some time (and some external help... but you'll find out in the next chapter... :P) Ahahah! It is sort of incredible that no one figured it out except the Marauders and Snape... but I guess people would simply not consider the possibility. And we don't actually know if other people knew...

Aww... thanks... *blushing* I guess my writing has improved a lot since I sstarted. And it's great to know that you feel that way! Thank you so much, love! *wub*

Thank you again for stopping by! And for this incredible, adorable, sweet review! You are the best!

Tons of love and snowball hug!

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Review #47, by marauderfanHero: Choices

1st June 2016:
Bianca! Hiii! Did you miss me? Actually, don't answer that. :P Anyway, I can't believe I've missed a few updates of this but it's good to get back to it! Things certainly are getting intense.

okay, I was definitely worried about dark magic at the end of the previous chapter with Briony, and now, well there's no evidence that it was, but an allergic reaction doesn't really add up. Nope. Well, it could, but under other circumstances. Not when Tom's doing manipulative things behind the scenes. Everything that's weird, I'll just blame him for. Even if I'm wrong I dont feel too bad blaming him for it anyway it because this is Voldemort we're talking about.

What is Brindley thanking Tom for? Again, shady things going on possibly involving confundus curses and I don't know why she's thanking him because he's the reason she's there, but of course she doesn't know that...

But I do love that scene with Finn and Hero, and how they are becoming closer. I really want Finn to reevaluate his choices and it seems he's getting there - or at least a little wary of Tom now. I like how the two of them are there to support each other, which is especially important for Hero at the moment because, although she hasn't 100% noticed yet, she is pushing everyone else away because of Tom. Tom is so manipulative and it really shows in this chapter (at least to a reader, not to Hero yet) but Hero doesn't really have anyone to rely on anymore. She depends on Tom more and more as she has fewer other friends, and now Emory wants nothing to do with her (understandably, as Hero has been pretty self absorbed lately), and things are weird between Hero and Theo. I bet Tom is at the root of this, pulling the strings so he has everyone right where he wants them. It's so dangerous and I hope Hero realizes it soon..

I wonder if Hero will make the connection between the orphanage and Noah soon. And omg I wonder how things will end up at Christmas at the Blishwick house... sounds scary. This cannot go well...

Great chapter! This story is so addicting

Author's Response: Er, who is this again? JUST KIDDING, of course I missed you! ♥

Ha ha honestly, just blame Tom for everything and you're on the right track! (Brindley doesn't know Tom was the reason, she just sees him as the one who helped her).

Tom being manipulative is exactly what I was going for (was he really any other way? ;))

Thank you so much, my love!! ♥

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Review #48, by marauderfanFallen: Goodbye

23rd May 2016:
Hi Angie! I'm sorry it has taken me SO long, but I'm here with prize review 2 of 4 for the Your Least Favourite Challenge.

AAAH so I was not expecting the ending AT. ALL. What a great plot twist. I can certainly see why this story won in the Smut*tastic Challenge, as it dances very close to the line of the ToS with all the steamyness, and then packs a punch at the end that's so totally unexpected but also really fits in with the dark nature of the story. That was really well done.

I also found the premise of this really interesting as you've delved into AU here where the war has been going on for years an all the changes that have come with that, like Draco filling in the role of Snape (so well, in fact, that who even knows what side he's really on?) - it's pretty believable that this could have happened. And that he's managed to convince both sides he's working for them to the point that Hermione actually lets her guard down, I'd imagine that took a while. But that one moment of weakness was what killed her.

You did really well with the dark tone in this. It's a very dark kind of sexy, as it's a purely physical thing they have going and they're each causing the other pain, and then the end just kind of compounds that as it gets even darker when Draco reveals his true colours. I'll give him one thing and that is that he is indeed a good spy, so much that not even Hermione could see past that.

Gah. This story was really great - sexy and intriguing and with a powerful surprising plot twist. Well done!!

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Review #49, by marauderfanThe Next Great Adventure: Prologue: An Old Friend

23rd May 2016:
Gift Tag! I've heard such good things about this story, and saw that it was about Dobby, so had to give it a read! And, ouch, this chapter hit me hard. I mean, I guess I knew it would have something to do with dying because of the title, but it was just... really poignant and evocative. Your attention to detail and descriptions of Harry nearing the end of his life and what that feels like for him - just the detail you put into his experiences, and all the thought you put into that, really sets the reader into his shoes. It's sad and very melancholy, of course, but maybe because Harry's already accepted his fate, it also has this sense of peace, of closure. Harry has lived a long, full life by this point and it's just the next step.

Harry appreciated Ginny’s ability to tease him, even when she knew things were dire. -- This is very much Ginny - she was like this as a teenager and I can totally see her being like that when she's old as well. I love that that is one thing that hasn't changed even after 82 years of marriage.

He wanted to offer his family some words of comfort, to encourage them not to waste time mourning because this wasn’t really goodbye so much as a ‘see you later’ -- aw. This is really sweet. And honestly, very comforting for me on this particular day :(

I love that he was able to have his family surrounding him and that he was able to tell them all that he loved them. Death is an unavoidable part of life and it has to happen to each of us eventually, but I was glad Harry got to have things turn out as well as they possibly could as he went through that process. I'm definitely tearing up though :'(

This is a wonderful start, Kaitlin, and I'm sure I'll be back to read more. Amazing work on this.

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Review #50, by marauderfanA Very Puppy Christmas: His name is...

22nd May 2016:
Hi Lizzie! I realize there are stories with fewer reviews on your page that I should stop by instead, but like, how can I resist a story about PUPPIES. (Answer: I cannot.)

Awww. I have no words, just a big smile on my face :D This is SO CUTE. I love that Harry rescued an abandoned puppy and helped it get back to health. I had a rescue cat for a while and can totally relate, there's no way to not get attached, and I can't blame Harry. Besides, that'd be the BEST christmas present ever! How lucky is Lily?? What a wonderful surprise!

I loved the way you described Weasley Christmases too, with so many of the family there and the rule that no one can open any presents until everyone is there- leads to a big celebration. I have to say though, after Lily's present anything else would seem anticlimactic :P

This was such an adorable story and I absolutely loved it! ♥

Author's Response: Oh don't worry, I can totally understand choosing to review this story over others - I know very few who can resist the power of a puppy! :D

Awe! Thank you!! I'm so glad that you liked this story!!

Weasley Christmases are basically Christmases with my family. I LOVE Christmas and it's all because of that.

Hehehe, that's probably true. But I'd feel horrible if little Snuffles was left in a box while everyone opened their presents first. I mean, can you imagine how long that'd take for everyone? The poor thing would be stuck in there forever!!

Thank you so much for leaving such a wonderful review! You're absolutely amazing!!
Keep writing!

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