Reading Reviews From Member: marauderfan
  
1,435 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfanFallen: Goodbye

23rd May 2016:
Hi Angie! I'm sorry it has taken me SO long, but I'm here with prize review 2 of 4 for the Your Least Favourite Challenge.

AAAH so I was not expecting the ending AT. ALL. What a great plot twist. I can certainly see why this story won in the Smut*tastic Challenge, as it dances very close to the line of the ToS with all the steamyness, and then packs a punch at the end that's so totally unexpected but also really fits in with the dark nature of the story. That was really well done.

I also found the premise of this really interesting as you've delved into AU here where the war has been going on for years an all the changes that have come with that, like Draco filling in the role of Snape (so well, in fact, that who even knows what side he's really on?) - it's pretty believable that this could have happened. And that he's managed to convince both sides he's working for them to the point that Hermione actually lets her guard down, I'd imagine that took a while. But that one moment of weakness was what killed her.

You did really well with the dark tone in this. It's a very dark kind of sexy, as it's a purely physical thing they have going and they're each causing the other pain, and then the end just kind of compounds that as it gets even darker when Draco reveals his true colours. I'll give him one thing and that is that he is indeed a good spy, so much that not even Hermione could see past that.

Gah. This story was really great - sexy and intriguing and with a powerful surprising plot twist. Well done!!

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Review #2, by marauderfanThe Next Great Adventure: Prologue: An Old Friend

23rd May 2016:
Gift Tag! I've heard such good things about this story, and saw that it was about Dobby, so had to give it a read! And, ouch, this chapter hit me hard. I mean, I guess I knew it would have something to do with dying because of the title, but it was just... really poignant and evocative. Your attention to detail and descriptions of Harry nearing the end of his life and what that feels like for him - just the detail you put into his experiences, and all the thought you put into that, really sets the reader into his shoes. It's sad and very melancholy, of course, but maybe because Harry's already accepted his fate, it also has this sense of peace, of closure. Harry has lived a long, full life by this point and it's just the next step.

Harry appreciated Ginny’s ability to tease him, even when she knew things were dire. -- This is very much Ginny - she was like this as a teenager and I can totally see her being like that when she's old as well. I love that that is one thing that hasn't changed even after 82 years of marriage.

He wanted to offer his family some words of comfort, to encourage them not to waste time mourning because this wasn’t really goodbye so much as a ‘see you later’ -- aw. This is really sweet. And honestly, very comforting for me on this particular day :(

I love that he was able to have his family surrounding him and that he was able to tell them all that he loved them. Death is an unavoidable part of life and it has to happen to each of us eventually, but I was glad Harry got to have things turn out as well as they possibly could as he went through that process. I'm definitely tearing up though :'(

This is a wonderful start, Kaitlin, and I'm sure I'll be back to read more. Amazing work on this.

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Review #3, by marauderfanA Very Puppy Christmas: His name is...

22nd May 2016:
Hi Lizzie! I realize there are stories with fewer reviews on your page that I should stop by instead, but like, how can I resist a story about PUPPIES. (Answer: I cannot.)

Awww. I have no words, just a big smile on my face :D This is SO CUTE. I love that Harry rescued an abandoned puppy and helped it get back to health. I had a rescue cat for a while and can totally relate, there's no way to not get attached, and I can't blame Harry. Besides, that'd be the BEST christmas present ever! How lucky is Lily?? What a wonderful surprise!

I loved the way you described Weasley Christmases too, with so many of the family there and the rule that no one can open any presents until everyone is there- leads to a big celebration. I have to say though, after Lily's present anything else would seem anticlimactic :P

This was such an adorable story and I absolutely loved it! ♥

Author's Response: Oh don't worry, I can totally understand choosing to review this story over others - I know very few who can resist the power of a puppy! :D

Awe! Thank you!! I'm so glad that you liked this story!!

Weasley Christmases are basically Christmases with my family. I LOVE Christmas and it's all because of that.

Hehehe, that's probably true. But I'd feel horrible if little Snuffles was left in a box while everyone opened their presents first. I mean, can you imagine how long that'd take for everyone? The poor thing would be stuck in there forever!!

Thank you so much for leaving such a wonderful review! You're absolutely amazing!!
Keep writing!
Lizzie


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Review #4, by marauderfanThe Worst Birthday Ever: Of All The Days To Be Born

20th May 2016:
More for the Hot Seat! :)

Aw, poor Dom, I really felt bad for her in the beginning. It sucks to go unnoticed on a special day like that. Especially when you share a birthday with a big holiday and everyone else is kind of wrapped up in their own things, she probably feels like her birthday isn't as important to anyone else because it coincides with Valentine's Day. :( So yeah, while she was a bit grumpy in the beginning of this, it wasn't without reason. Especially at that age when birthdays are still really important.

I like that it was the most unlikely person who came to cheer her up. I imagine she felt it was kind of lame that it was her little brother who was the only one who cared to ask what was wrong. But he threw her a surprise party! And she didn't even suspect anything :D That was really cute, and I love that all her friends were there and had neglected Valentines Day instead to spend time with Dominique on her birthday :)

Cute story!

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Review #5, by marauderfanThe Family Business: Four: Committing

20th May 2016:
Oooh, so Moros' plan didn't really go according to plan. And the truth comes out about Moros' wife... so really he just killed an entire civilization on the basis of a lie because his wife didn't love him and found a way out. And he regrets nothing. I have a feeling that the disaster he's created has only just started. He's basically void of any emotion but anger and resentment, and it's a bad combo. What else is he going to do with that box?! It hasn't escaped me that he still has it, and it's powerful. Powerful people in possession of dangerous artifacts = bad news

Wow, Laura has quite the choice ahead of her, and I don't envy her! Having to choose between living her dreams, and saving her family. And if she picks one, she can't have the other. That's rough. I think Hugo summarizing it for her seemed to help her parse out her own situation in her head, which is nice.

So she chose the saving the family route - I only hope she'll be able to get out of the business when she wants. It's nice that Hugo is going along with her, as that will help her with her feelings of instability - at least she'll have the stability of a person she's been with for three years. Maybe that's how Claire and Sebastian had stability in their lives - only through each other, because the locations they lived were never the same. It was more about people than places.

Also, I've begun to realize that what I thought in the first chapter was a reference to curse-breaking, is actually something way more epic and mysterious. They're like tomb raiders or something - I don't know what exactly the Business is, but it's illegal. And that makes me want to know even more about it haha. What exactly is it that they do? and how would Bill Weasley react if he found out about it? :P

Hope to see an update soon! I'm really interested in seeing how things turn out!

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Review #6, by marauderfanThe Family Business: Three: Arguing

20th May 2016:
WOAH. That first part was INTENSE. That's some fight - Moros is so bitter and at this point it seems he'll stop at nothing to make sure his plan comes to fruition, even if it involves hurting an old friend. I don't know if you've ever watched Avatar: The Last Airbender and its sequel Legend of Korra, but Moros reminds me of one of the villains in Legend of Korra in how he thinks what he's doing is fair and that his action in taking away people's magic, in this case, will bring equality. But wow, pretty extreme as he not only killed his friend, but sank an entire island under the ocean. (I know Arcturus was still breathing, but then the island sank while he was unconscious, sooo..

But if I'm not mistaken, that's the same box! Which is slightly worrying for many reasons. a) it's not functioning how it originally did, which means that I can't guess what happened. Because the first time the box was used, Arcturus was still there. Whereas Claire and Sebastian are just gone. Also b) somewhere, is Egypt sinking into the ocean as the box was just used again? Is it a landmass-sinking box? So many questionsss. But whatever happens, it does seem likely that (provided Claire and Sebastian are still alive) they will not be able to use magic anymore.

Ooh, they are her siblings! I knew it the instant they started all that bickering about the motel guy and poor planning in Lichtenstein :P Laura's saying so only confirmed it. :D Eeep and Hugo's meeting them all at once. I feel like this could have gone better... meeting the family during a big family argument is probably not the best way to do things :P

I appreciate that they're not all totally against her though. Lydia is supportive of her, Edmund doesn't seem to care one way or the other, and Michael seems to just disapprove because it's dangerous for her to stay in one place, not particularly because she's bound to the work. I do really like Edmund as a character btw - nice to see some representation and a character with autism.

They're missing! I feel like they could have told her that earlier in the discussion. Any leads? What do they know? The pacing of this story is really good, btw. You end each chapter on a note where I can't help but want to continue reading! :D

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Review #7, by marauderfanThe Family Business: Two: Beginnings and Endings

20th May 2016:
Here I am again, multitasking: leaving you some feedback and getting a workout! What an insightful comment in your A/N, now I can convince myself I don't have to go to the gym.

So anyway, eep! The italic story bits are so interesting! I love the history you've created regarding magicians and wizards and I'm really intrigued by that whole side story.

Laura and Hugo are cute together :) I like how Hugo's family adores her and is super welcoming to her. And this chapter, once I realized that it took place just a week or so after the previous one - it had this underlying sense of anxiety to it because I know Laura's parents aren't coming back because they're in trouble, whereas Laura just passes it off as them forgetting about her or something. Aah! I wonder if that's why the people are there at the end - if they have information about her parents.

Actually, I have a hunch that the three people there are her siblings - you said there were three of them, and given the nickname, I'd say they have a high probability of being family... who maybe also missed her graduation. Maybe they know what happened to Claire and Sebastian?

Ugh, Rose is kind of obnoxious asking poor Laura when she's going to marry Hugo :P They're not engaged, nor have they hinted at getting married. I guess Rose isn't one who takes things slowly though, haha.

I'm dying to know what happened in that tomb in Egypt. Loving this story so far!

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Review #8, by marauderfanThe Family Business: One: Prologue - Disappearing

20th May 2016:
LIZZAYYY. This is for the Hot Seat! Congrats! As soon as I saw the summary for this story I knew I had to read it, stat. So I can tell you by this point that at least your summary is very effective. Okay, now on to the story!

Mysterious intro. Atlantis, I assume?

OMG IS THIS ABOUT CURSE BREAKERS? I LOVE IT EVEN MORE. Seriously, I have always wondered what it is that curse breakers do. Like, do they wander around and zap away curses all day? Or, apparently, sit in old dusty tombs and read decaying scrolls of papyrus. That was great imagery, btw, of Sebastian all curled up in this tiny space because he's too tall. A struggle I can relate to (minus the part about being in an egyptian tomb)

I love Ancient Egyptian history and mythology though so I'm super excited to see how this plays into the story.

Small thing, but I appreciated the kind of swapped gender roles you had with Sebastian and Claire talking about going back for their daughter's graduation. I feel like the role of the worrier/the one who's most devoted to the kids always ends up being the mum in a lot of representations while the dad is really intent about their work, and so I appreciate that you switched that up here.

OMG ARE THEY TRAPPED IN THE BOX??? WHAT was that at the end? ASKLDFLKASJDLKFJASLKDJF THIS IS TOO EXCITING. I NEED TO READ MORE. See you on the next chapter :D

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Review #9, by marauderfanObliviate: Obliviate

20th May 2016:
Hi Amy! I'm here with your requested review :)

So, this is really good. I love that you chose to get into Hermione's mind at such a vulnerable, scary moment for her. Obviously the war was something that scared her, but this moment is when it probably became its most personal for her - she literally had to make her parents forget that she existed, and erase herself from their life. And then send them halfway around the world. That cannot have been easy. And you really show that here in Hermione's thoughts in the beginning, how she's really struggling with what she has to do.

I really appreciate that you highlighted how Hermione really relied on Harry and Ron as much as they relied on her. We all know Harry wouldn't have gotten anywhere without Hermione's help, but she always comes across as so unflappable in the books and how she is so logical and has everything together. She doesnt talk about her feelings much in the books (understandably, because her two best friends are Harry and Ron and they'd have no idea what to do) so it's wonderful to have a look into her feelings here, especially at such an emotional time. And I think you've done really well in that regard, as it's kind of a struggle of head vs heart for her - her head wins, as she knows it will all along, but her heart hurts at what she has to do, and what has already been done. She's so fragile here, and all alone, and this scene just humanizes her so much. I love that you chose this scene to write and that you wrote it this well. The logic in her thought process is distinctly Hermione-ish, and there's so much feeling in addition to that. Really, this is beautiful.

And the ending - so simple, and so effective. Aghh. so sad.

As for CC: your grammar is wonderful, characterisation perfect. One thing kind of stood out to me in terms of continuity though. You mention that she's left a few things and everything else is packed, but then it makes me wonder: after she Obliviated her parents, did she go back into her room and pack up the remaining things before leaving? I kind of imagined her doing the spell and then going to finish packing and they hear that - or see her walking out - and they then find her and are confused :S Maybe this is a picky thing, haha. But I think it'd help with the scene (as well as fit with Hermione's characteristic planning-ahead-ness) to indicate how Hermione plans to make her exit without being noticed after doing the Obliviate spell.

Anyway, I really loved this, it was such a great read! Thanks for requesting! :)

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Review #10, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: Epilogue – The opening night

15th May 2016:
Aw, I really like that it ended up being Lily and James, as Juliet and Romeo. (It also makes a lot of sense considering Chiara missed a few months of rehearsal haha)

Chiara and Remus were adorable during this chapter. ♥ Still quoting lines from the play to one another as well hehe. (Also lines from The Empire Strikes Back, though unintentionally I'm sure :P)

I love that you included Lily and James' first kiss in the story as well. That was such an adorable moment! And also hilarious because the curtain came up on them. But I've always liked the idea that after so long of her rejecting him, when they finally got together it ended up being a pretty well-known thing. And the people in the audience were hilarious, like Alice and Frank who'd put a bet on them, and other people who were just like "no way!"

A wonderful ending to a wonderful story! It was really nice to have two chapters of fluff to end it on such a happy note, and I had a smile on my face during the whole chapter. (I should take notes - I have still never figured out how to write a happy ending :P ) Thank you for writing this lovely story and I'm so glad that I've had a chance to read it. You are very talented!

All my love and hugs
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡
Kristin

Author's Response: Jily 4ever!!! :D And yes, poor Chiara wouldn't withstand the stress...

Yes, of course they'd still quote the lines... Erm... are you referring to the "I love you"/"I know" bit? That was completely unintentional... :P

I had that picture of their first kiss and the curtain coming up on them clear in my mind since the very beginning. I loved that image too much!!! And, yes! Glad you loved the audience's different reactions!

Aww... thank you so much... I'm so incredibly glad that you enjoyed this! Thank you, thank you, thank you for sticking with me till the end and for all the awesome Hot Seat reviews!

So much love and snowball hug!!!
Chiara


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Review #11, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: Welcome back, Chiara

15th May 2016:
Awww! I guess my worrying at the end of last chapter was without reason, because it was just the curse breaking. Thank goodness! I loved this chapter, it was pretty much mostly fluff, which I needed after all the sad and angst going on with Remus in previous chapters and such a long separation.

I really loved how this chapter started off, with Chiara opening her eyes and what she experiences as she adjusts to her surroundings and realises what has happened. I loved all the reunions! And the welcome back party they had for her, with the banner and everything! And of course that she kept sneaking off to kiss Remus. :P The curse has no power anymore and they're definitely fully appreciating that! Besides, they do have a lot of time to make up for!

Ooh, he took her to the Shrieking Shack. I can see how he'd want to share something that personal with her because as much as he hates the place, it is a part of him as he's spent a good deal of time there every month. As for what happened next... I'm resisting the urge to make jokes about why it's called the Shrieking Shack. :P (My mind lives in the gutter and I'm sorry. :P) I love that Remus's reason for hesitation was the fear that she would turn into a phoenix. Haha. Their banter about it was super cute though :)

I'm so glad these two have a chance to be a happy couple with no curse in the way! And I can't believe there's only one more chapter. I've really loved this fic so far. :)

Author's Response: Ahahah! I'm actually happy that I had you still a bit worried... But yes, that was only the curse breaking, and everything was fine in the end (well, apart from what's wrong... but it doesn't matter right now...)

Yay for fluff!!! I love fluff, don't you? Especially after so much angst...

Ahahah! Chiara took a bit to realize what had happened. And, well, the Marauders would do that, wouldn't they? I'm sure they loved to party! And of course Remus and Chiara wouldn't waste other time... ;)

Yes, I thought that he would want to share something so personal with her. Ahahah! Kristin, you naughty girl... :P Remus will never change...

Yes, only one last chapter. It's really just an epilogue, actually. But I hope you'll enjoy it! :D

Thank you so much! I'm so, so happy that you enjoyed the story! It's still my most loved work, and I'm so glad you followed it to the end!


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Review #12, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: A full moon without full moon

15th May 2016:
The beginning of this chapter had the best Sirius/serious joke I've ever seen, mainly because you managed to keep it going for so long and incorporate people who weren't even there such as Merlin. :P

Awww. I just love the image of Remus being so happy after a solid session of prank planning with his three best friends and the knowledge (or at least the hope) that the next full moon won't really be a full moon and that Chiara might come back. ♥

That prank sounds... pretty! haha Honestly I bet it looked so cool! But uh oh, when Professor McGonagall swears then you know you're in trouble. But I love that she was still impressed with their spellwork, even if she wasn't supposed to think so :) So typical McGonagall - well done writing her :)

so as to allow the students to assist to the extraordinary event -- this isn't CC, more of a note about English, I hope that's okay. In English, 'assist' means 'to help/aid/take care of'. I'm pretty sure I understand where this confusion comes from though, because in Spanish at least (and I would imagine it's similar in Italian), the verbs asistir and atender are both false cognates, and the meaning of one is the cognate of the other (if that makes sense). Meaning that asistir is to attend/go to, whereas atender means to assist/help.

For example: 'I attended a concert last Thursday'. Or: 'Can you assist me in lifting this heavy thing?'

I hope that made sense :P

OMG THAT ENDING!!! AJSDLKAFJWLKJERFLKWNELAKFRNJ!?!?!?!?! How could you??? haha. Agh! The suspense! I can't believe you did that. Going to the next chapter RIGHT NOW. :P

Author's Response: Ahahah! I loved writing that bit so much!!! Yep, Merlin! :P

Remus needed the distraction. He needs to forget problems and just be happy from time to time, and this was a great time for it!

McGonagall loves those four... Even if they drive her crazy... And they did outdo themselves here... She would be impressed!

That makes perfect sense... Actually, in Italian, "assistere" means both things, I believe... we also have "attendere", but it's rarely used in that acceptation and commonly used for "to wait"... Erm, languages can be confusing... But thank you for pointing that out. :)

Ahahah... well, it's not really that much of suspence, is it? :P
See you on the next chapter, then!


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Review #13, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: Peter's epiphany

15th May 2016:
I love the way you did those side by side conversations between Lily and Alice, and James and Sirius. I thought that was a really clever way to do it and it was easy to follow, despite that it hopped around a lot. I kind of imagined it like a split-screen scene in a film! Aw, poor James. He was just nervous! :S

Peter sleep-talking in class was the best thing. XD Poor guy though, he must be having a nightmare if he's talking about cats! Maybe that's a subconscious reason for why he's afraid of McGonagall - because she's a cat Animagus? Even if that's unrelated, yeah I bet that'd be a scary sight to wake up from sleeping in Transfiguration and finding McGonagall being very displeased hovering over you. Eek.

Remus tried to talk to Corner... I'm not surprised that didn't work. However I am surprised that he told Corner about the Furry Little Problem (or FLP, as I think I will from now on refer to it). I mean it makes sense that other students might have figured out Remus' secret if they really thought about it, but whoa. I hope Corner can keep his mouth shut.

Ooh, I love that Peter figured out the solution. An eclipse! I HOPE THIS WORKS OMG.

Also, not to be annoying but you know I'm a scientist and interested in astronomy so of course I was going to think about this in a scientific way :P You describe the solution here as a solar eclipse, though as you point out in your A/N, a solar eclipse occurs during a new moon and the sun is what gets covered up. But I wonder if maybe you meant lunar eclipse instead? In a total lunar eclipse, the earth is completely in front of the moon and blocks it all from view - the moon is eclipsed, so you could have a 'full moon without the full moon'. Anyway, that's my thoughts on it which you are free to disregard :P I'm also cool with accepting poetic license and looking past scientific inaccuracies XD

(Sidenote, the linear alignment of the sun, moon, and earth during eclipses is called syzygy which is one of my favourite words of all time. :P)

Sooo anyway, my long tangent and pedantic scientific rambling aside - this is a wonderful chapter and AHHH I can't wait to see if the solution works! I hope it does! This is such a wonderful story and things are really picking up now that we're almost at the end!

All the hugs!
♥ ♥

Author's Response: Ahahah! I did imagine it as a movie scene! I was a bit scared that it would result confusing, so I'm relieved that you found it easy to follow! :D Ahahah! Nervous James is the cutest!!!

I had so much fun writing Peter sleep-talking! Yes, he was definitely having a nightmare in that moment... Mmmh... I never thought about that... But I do love your idea!!! McGonagall would be very scary in any case, though...

Well, Remus wasn't really thinking in that moment. He just let it slip in his frustration. Corner will keep the secret, don't worry. He's an intelligent boy (he's a Ravenclaw, after all) and I did tell you he isn't that bad (wonder why no one trusts me on that...)

Yes, the eclipse thing... well, I loved the idea of a solar eclipse because of the darkness it creates, you know. And then I went to check, and I realized that what I was doing was impossible. And I felt so stupid because it's obvious that if the moon covers the sun, the illuminated side can't be visible from the Earth... but I still thought a solar eclipse worked better for me, and I wanted it to be a rare phenomenon, and a lunar eclipse with the full moon (which is a lunar eclipse, dot) wasn't that rare. So I decided to stick with my astronomical mistake... :P Sorry if I hurt your scientist sensibility. (I hurt my own scientist sensibility, if that makes you feel better...)


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Review #14, by marauderfanRed Red Rose : Show Off

15th May 2016:
I think it's super realistic that McGonagall would have Harry and Hermione come in to speak for guest lectures, not only because they both have so much experience and the students would want to hear from them, but I can only imagine McGonagall asking something like that of Harry and of course he would agree to do that, that's very much who he is.

Yay, their performance! Quite a change from the very traditional school song. Haha, I don't find it surprising at all that the kids didn't tell their parents they'd started a band. I love the intsruments you've chosen for the band as well - a lute and fiddle! Sounds like they'd be a pretty cool band :D

Of course leave it to the parents to be discussing how successful they can be, talking seriously about their children's futures - meanwhile Rose only wants to have fun with the band, not necessarily to be a professional or have even given it much thought.

She loved his scowling when he focused on playing the fiddle. -- Aaah, I love that you included this! I myself am a viola/violin/fiddle player and I've definitely caught myself scowling at times when I'm concentrating on a difficult passage or something. It's such a minor detail to include but is so realistic and I just love that you wrote that in :D

Great chapter! Omg and I can't believe Scorpius stole Hugo's cards and hid them in the fiddle case. What a joker. :P

Author's Response: Thank you agian, Kristin! I'll send you Internet sushi and green tea for your kindness!

Though I started writing the next generation, I couldn't resist inserting Harry. I love Harry-centered story. :p
For that, McGonagall was necessary to be written.

As I see my son every day, the idea that the kids don't tell everything to their parents, popped in my mind naturally. Looking back my shcool days, it was like that, too.

Rose, a singer wasn't planned at first, but I thought, it would be better, so I changed my first plan.

Oh, do you play the viola and the violin? I'm very intrigued by your fiddle thing. We need more talk about music. I try to smile while I'm playing or performing in public, I can't. Can you?

I'm happy to know you took the last scene "a joker". That's exactly what I intended to.

Kenny




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Review #15, by marauderfanRed Red Rose : A Slytherin in the Gryffindor CR.

15th May 2016:
Hi Kenny! This is the rest of your hot seat reviews from me. I'm sorry they are late. I meant to do more last weekend and then didn't, but hey - it's like when you get late birthday presents, just means the celebration lasts longer! :P

This is a lovely start - it's very whimsical in nature, and you've wonderfully portrayed the relationships between the characters, what with the way Albus teases his cousin about Scorpius being her boyfriend, or the way Al and Scorpius write music, the fact that Hugo collects the cards from chocolate frogs, and the bit I loved the most - how Albus wants to write good songs but is bad at poetry. (I can relate!)

I really like seeing musicians in the wizarding world because apart from a few mentions of bands/musicians in canon like the Weird Sisters, Hobgoblins, and Celestina Warbeck (... that may be all, actually?) there aren't any others and I love seeing what wizarding music would be like. Especially as you have it here, since they still appear to be in school - I'm eager to see what a band composed of teenagers at Hogwarts would be like. I can't believe Albus just sang a letter from Scorpius to Rose and turned it into a song. I don't suppose Scorp will be too thrilled about that.

A really interesting start and I can't wait to read on!

Author's Response: Hi, Kristin! You came back to add more. You are such a nice person.

I tried writing the new trio, I think Scorp is just like Draco, Albus is like Harry, his father Harry was not good at writing, so I set his son, Albus like that.

Yeah, as you noticed, I wanted to add more in the musical part. I wrote another episode realted to the Weird Sisters. If you have time, please stop by. The name of the story is "Highland Is Calling".

Reading your feedback, I feel like I should add more description around the episode how the lyrics were made based on the letter.

I got another review to update this story. I have to find more time for this.

Thank you again for dropping your thouht!

Kenny


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Review #16, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: The Mark

15th May 2016:
Wow, this chapter. Things just got a whole lot darker (as they would, considering the time period :( I never thought I'd simultaneously hate someone so much and feel bad for them, as I do here with Peter. He had one lapse of judgement - and it wasn't even that, it was just a moment of confusion where he's trying to figure out where he belongs (and who hasn't done that, really?) and abandons his friends, but then finds himself stuck and things are far more permanent than he bargained for. He's already gotten quite good at lying to his friends. And it doesn't surprise me that Remus is the one to sort of see through the lies, as he's probably quite accustomed to feeding people lies about his mum being ill, or whatever other things he invented to put people off the track of finding out his Furry Little Problem.

Your portrayal of Voldemort is great here - sufficiently creepy and knows when he's being lied to. The last section here when he finds out about his future as a double agent - it reminds me a lot of Snape. Different circumstances of course in how they ended up there, but similar in that they're both infiltrating the other's organization and so effective at being on both sides that it took a while for anyone to notice.

One thing that really stood out to me about this chapter was Peter's lament that he's involved in all this and he's just a kid. It's so true! And so horrible to think that a lot of the Death Eaters at this time (Nott of course, and Regulus around this time as well probably) were only sixteen or seventeen and facing a future of a lot of violence and fighting and not being able to get out of it. Kids having to fight in a war, while Voldemort just used them like marionettes. So awful. (but your writing of that is fantastic, and through Peter's fear it's so evident how messed up the whole situation is.) Really great work on this chapter!

Author's Response: I must admit, this is one of my favourite chapters, even if it breaks my heart all the time!

Things have definitely turned much darker... but as you say, it's time of war...

Poor Peter... his life is so skrewed up at the moment... and even if he asked for it, I still feel so bad for him...

Of course Remus would notice something is strange. He's the most perceptive and he does have a lot of experience with lies...

I'm so glad you felt I pictured Voldemort well! And this is interesting, I never really thought about a parallel between Peter and Snape. But of course it makes sense.

It's something that has always stricken me, how young they all were... When James and Lily died and Sirius was sent to Azkaban, they were only twenty-one!!! I still played with dolls at that age! (ok, no, I didn't play with dolls, because I never liked playing with dolls that much... but you know what I mean...) And all the Death Eaters, of course... Regulus couldn't have been older than nineteen... How sad is it all?

Thank you so much for another awesome review! I so adore your feedback!!!


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Review #17, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: Meetings in Hogsmeade

15th May 2016:
Oookay, I'm back! And hopefully I will read through the rest of this today, as it's much too hot today to do anything but sit here like a lump and read fanfic :D

HOW does Remus still think Corner is the answer? I had totally forgotten about that guy. You'd think that after Remus and Chiara had that conversation earlier where it's SO clear they both have feelings for one another, he wouldn't be so surprised to hear that she likes him. That boy is so stubborn and in denial! (and so of course very well written in character!)

"Really, Evans... Dumbledore? He's amazing and all, but I doubt he would be Chiara's first choice..."
"Merlin, Black! Be serious!" Lily exclaimed.
-- these two lines had me laughing out loud! Trust Sirius to crack a joke like that interpretation of Lily's suggestion, and then the inevitable Serious joke, but Lily catches it in time, before Sirius has a chance to (as he would) make a comment about it.

But YES, Lily's idea is sensible, to tell Dumbledore. They really should have done ages ago. I'm glad Chiara's mum was finally informed as well - she's been in the dark for a while now :(

Peterrr. What a sad scene! I was so frustrated at him as he seems to be just going out of mild interest, or boredom in his current situation, but kind of gets tied into it in a way he doesn't expect. I felt badly for him, because he didn't ultimately like what he heard but had no way to get out of it. And despite that I am annoyed at him for making the decision to go in the first place and turning on his friends, it's clear he still cares about Remus, as the comment about 'half-breeds' affected him so much. Aw.

Great chapter!

Author's Response: KRISTIN!!! *hug* *wub* *hug* *wub* *hug* *wub*

Remus is such an idiot... and, well, you know how he is... he just can't believe that people can love him...

I'm so glad that bit made you laugh!!! I definitely had so much fun writing it!!! :P And you know I love that pun a bit too much!

Of course Lily's right in saying that they should tell Dumbledore... if only the boys would listen... but at least Remus thought about informing Anna!

Poor Pete... I can imagine your frustration... he doesn't really understand what he's throwing himself into, and once he realizes it, it's too late. Of course, he shouldn't have gone in the first place. But I can't blame him too much... And yes, he still cares about his friends...

Thank you for another awesome review!!!
Chiara


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Review #18, by marauderfanStranger: 17 Years Old

13th May 2016:
Aw, yay! I really loved the happily ever after feeling of this chapter - and while I know that it's not 'happily ever after' and there will probably be other struggles later on (like the reactions of his mother? I kind of wondered what happened there, but regardless, I like where you ended the story), this ends on such a wonderful note with Myles finally being the person he wants to be, and Pansy so supportive and happy for him. It was just such a lovely moment between friends. And given that in the previous four chapters Millicent had always been unhappy or confused, having Myles walk in smiling was such a huge change and it really changed the mood of the story. His happiness changed the whole tone of the chapter.

Pansy's last line "You look like you" - aww, I just adored this. What a positive ending ♥

Also, congrats on finishing the first of your WIP's! That's huge. :D *hands out celebratory cake* Great work on this story, Kaitlin!!

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Review #19, by marauderfanStranger: 15.5 Years Old

13th May 2016:
Millicent's anxiety is really evident in this chapter, in how she's afraid of what her peers will think and even what Madame Pomfrey will think. You did a wonderful job of conveying that, as it was easy to feel her nervousness and all the things she worries about. The teenage years are such a hard time anyway without stuff like this going on as well, looking in the mirror and seeing someone that's not you.

Madame Pomfrey was a great addition to the story as well because I think she'd have seen all sorts of things by this point without batting an eye and hardly anything could surprise her - werewolf students, Ron's dragon bite that he said was from a dog, arms without bones, etc., so she knows how to handle complex things and how to keep people's secrets safe. I have no doubt she'd be super helpful and understanding.

I'm glad you pointed out that gender reassignment is an option but not the only solution. I think this is one of the more commonly misunderstood things about trans issues, but there are plenty of trans people who don't undergo reassignment. This chapter was well done in terms of awareness and the different options available to trans people. I'm glad Millicent is taking steps to becoming who he is and having who he is on the inside and on the outside match for once, and that there's a support network of healers and the larger trans community. Once again great work on this chapter!

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Review #20, by marauderfanStranger: 15 Years Old

13th May 2016:
I love this chapter! And I love Pansy in this! (Never thought I'd say that) but she really is a good friend here. Sure, she's confused at first, but she is supportive, takes Millicent's words seriously, and genuinely wants to help her friend. I also like that you had Pansy bring up the idea of traditional gender roles vs gender, and how Millicent explains why it's not that. You approached the idea from several different angles and it really brings a lot of light to what it means to be trans. (Not that I'm an authority on this either - but Millicent's descriptions and emotions match what I've been told by some of my friends who are trans.) In that same vein, I also think Pansy brings a great aspect to the story that can help people who are unfamiliar with gender issues understand Millicent, because Pansy has to learn to understand too.

At any rate, I'm glad Millicent has figured it out, connected the dots in her mind and understands why she's been uncomfortable with herself for so long. And I'm really glad she has Pansy's support and that she's going to see Madame Pomfrey, it's so good she has people to confide in who will not judge her. That's so important.

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Review #21, by marauderfanStranger: 12 Years Old

13th May 2016:
Another excellent chapter. I really like the addition of Pansy here, and how she comes across as a sympathetic character who is perceptive and wants to help. I have no trouble believing she's actually pretty nice to people in her social circle, which would include Millicent. It's a nice change from Harry's rather biased perspective of her.

I also like how you pointed out the difficulties of this time of Millicent's life. Puberty is not easy for anyone, and I think most people go through a phase of being embarrassed about something about themselves, and are very self-conscious. The way you set this chapter up such that Millicent thinks that the problem is her self-confidence is pretty convincing, because at this point she can't change her body. And since she developed early, part of her annoyance is that she's not like the other girls anymore - she doesn't fit in. And not fitting in is enough of a hardship at that age that her gender identity just hasn't occurred to her yet.

Poor Millicent :( this was a great chapter though! Your writing is wonderful.

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Review #22, by marauderfanStranger: 7 Years Old

13th May 2016:
Saw your post on the forums and it reminded me that I still owe you 5 reviews for winning the Least Favourite Challenge - luckily this story is 5 chapters! But... there's so much good stuff on your AP. I may just leave you like 20 prize reviews isntead :P So anyway, this is such a great start. I love minor characters, and so I'm glad you chose to write about Millicent Bulstrode here. From canon, the only things we know about her is that she has a cat, and that Harry thinks she looks ugly/mean/scary (I forget exactly what he said, but it wasn't positive). So it leaves you with so much room to interpret her character.

This is such a wonderful interpretation of 7-year-old Millicent. She's too young to understand exactly what is wrong, but even at that age she knows that something just doesn't add up, and that she doesn't feel comfortable with who she's being told she is. And having it come across in the perspective of a child, who's never heard the term gender dysphoria, but only experiences this vague confusion, it really makes me feel for her as a character and... I know I'm getting ahead of myself here, but I hope her mother is understanding when Millicent finally figures out what is going on. Her mother doesn't seem unkind per se, just very traditionalist and dignified and would never have considered the possibility of her daughter being trans. I'm curious how that will turn out. (But seriously, 'Green is for boys'? What about all the Slytherins who aren't boys -they wear green all the time! And that's Tradition too, something she would be able to get on board with. *shakes head*)

/rambling tangent

This is really great so far and I'm excited to read the rest.

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Review #23, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: Christmas break

13th May 2016:
Oh, Remus. Thinking that he can make someone else fall in love with Chiara and that will solve the curse? *headdesk* Well, good for him thinking outside the box, but... it was a very unrealistic idea :P The meeting between the two of them was beautiful though, and I love their determination.

Waking Sirius up was a delicate operation, which involved a lot of shouting and tickling, a bucketful of cold water -- HAHAHA yes. Delicate indeed. Delicately dump a bucket of ice on your friend while he is sleeping! This can be nothing but chaos. Also, that's got to be the worst way to wake someone up. No wonder he shouts at them! :P

Interesting portrayal of Peter here, how you have him feeling disconnected from the other three as early as seventh year. And what's more, it seems to indicate that his eventual switch of sides was more to do with his choice rather than being coerced/frightened/threatened into it. How his storyline is developing here, it makes me think that maybe he voluntarily switched sides because by that point he legitimately didn't like his friends anymore. A really interesting perspective and I'll be watching him closely any other time he's mentioned!

I love that Remus' parents and James' parents are friends :D Super close friends too, as James' parents know about Remus' Furry Little Problem. That's really cool. And I must say I loved the scene with Remus talking to his mother. It was a really sweet scene and I really like seeing the family life of the characters, what their parents are like, etc- it's like another dimension to the character.

Hahaha, the snowball fight! "It's okay to sneak out, no one will hear us!" - said every teenager ever, and they were always wrong. I love that they got caught mid-snowball fight in the early hours of the morning. And that James' Dad got involved haha! Such lovely scenes with different characters and their parents in this chapter. I know you said in your A/N that this was kind of a filler chapter, but honestly I love filler chapters because even if they don't move the plot along, they usually contribute a lot to overall characterisation and this is a perfect example.

Love it!

Author's Response: Welcome back again, my lovely Kristin!!!

Ahahah! Poor Remus... well, it is a good plan in theory, but feelings don't work that way... So glad you liked their exchange!!!

Ahahah! I guess Sirius was in an excellent mood once he did wake up! :P I had so much fun writing that bit! It's definitely my favourite!!! :D

Peter... :( He might get involved with the Death Eaters earlier than you think... and it won't be pretty... I'm so terribly sorry for the way I treated him... :(

Ahahah! I love the Marauders' parents! I guess it would be inevitable, with their sons being so close, to become very close as well. :)

Ah, Silvia... Silvia is the sweetest! So glad you liked her and her chat with Remus!

And the snowball fight! Ahahah! Of course the boys would think they wouldn't be caught... and of course they are! :D And James' dad is such a big child! :P

So glad you enjoyed the chapter, even if it was only a filler! I agree with you that filler chapters help characterization, and I'm happy you think I did that well!!!

Thank you so, so, so much again for all your adorable reviews! You are the best!!!
Much love and tons of hugs!
Chiara


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Review #24, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: The cure

13th May 2016:
Back again!

I imagine that would be quite a sight, to see Lily with the Marauders and all of them surrounded by books and a bird. Who would know what to make of that.

Ugh, Snape. I'm not his greatest fan. I think it very likely though that he would pester Lily like that even after their falling out, asking her what she's doing and prying for information. It was very possessive of him (as if he always has to be informed of what she's doing) and because of that very in character of him.

Ah, good thinking Lily - isn't it always that the most likely explanation is the simplest one? I enjoyed them teasing Remus about having to kiss a bird. :P It was very much along the lines of the story of the frog prince, only no princess appeared when Remus kissed the bird haha. Too bad it didn't work! Maybe it happens slowly, after Chiara has already flown away? If not, I don't know what they're going to do. I'll have to read on and find out :D

Author's Response: Ahahah! That would look weird, wouldn't it? :P

Snape wasn't very enjoyable in that scene... he is very possessive of her and thinks he can control her life...

Lily is a genius!!! And yes, the most obvious explaination is often the right one! ;)
No, I'm afraid kissing the bird is not the solution... :(

See you again on the next review! *wub*


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Review #25, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: Back together

13th May 2016:
Chiara!! ♥ ♥ Ahh, I was so happy to see you were on the Hot Seat this week!! You totally deserve it for being such a generous and amazing person! And on that note, congratulations in the Keckers! I was so happy to see you get recognition for the amazingness that is your reviews. ♥

Okay, but now to matters at hand: last I was around, Chiara was a bird and Sirius was learning to speak Larkish. Here we resume!

I love the way you write Sirius- he's quite perceptive and it shows in your writing that he's much smarter and more in tune with people than he acts, as evidenced by why he pretends not to have noticed Remus' self deprecating remarks.

Peter's afraid of cats :D Love it. I've always been a big fan of ideas like this that link their animal personalities to their human ones.

Muahaahaha, Lily's been brought over to the dark side. Mischief is fun! Yep, she definitely thought that. :P But her prefect side comes out again just before they go into the forest. I can appreciate her very conflicted feelings here as she enjoys a little mischief here and there, but she also doesn't want to blatantly ignore rules that have been around for years as she's in a position of authority.

Awww the reunion was so sweet!! Well, bittersweet. I love that they were able to talk for hours and spend time together after so long, but it was so sad to see Remus and then Lily try to hug her but not able to touch her. She's almost a ghost, then. :( Ahh, so close but so far! But I love the ending and how she's so hopeful that she can overcome it and be with Remus. Wah!

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡,
Kristin

Author's Response: Aww, Kristin... *wub*
Thank you! I can't hide it, I'm so excited about the Hot Seat! And congratulations to you too for Keckers!!! You totally deserved to win best reviewer (look at the awesome reviews that you left me here!!!) And I can't remember what else you won, but you surely deserved it (all your stories are wonderful) :P

I love perceptive Sirius! He's the best! Glad you like him too!!! :D

And yes, Peter has this irrational fear of cats... :P

Mischief is definitely fun! With moderation... Who doesn't love Lily? :)

Poor Remus and Lily and Chiara... but at least they could spend some time together! And yes, Chiara is very hopeful and determined, and things will work out in the end!

Thank you so much for this awesome review!!!
All my love,
Chiara


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