Reading Reviews From Member: marauderfan
  
1,111 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfanPending Further Investigation: xii. cross the line [or] don't say the a word

30th January 2015:
Anyway, we should talk about something other than dudes because we’re failing the real-life Bechdel test.” -- I can't even tell you how much I loved this line :D

And I loved the conversation between Rose and Holly, particularly them reflecting on their past and how they now considered their pre-scholarship selves quite boring, haha. I also appreciated the bit about Rose being a bit jealous that there are things where Holly can't relate to her as well as Holly can relate to Brodie, and how she feels a bit left out but still understanding. She's a good friend and wants Holly to be happy, but at the same time she misses being the best friend Holly confides in about everything. It's a complicated but real feeling and I liked how you illustrated it.

I'm so sad that Vic isn't that accepting of Teddy being genderqueer. (my internet browser just gave that word the red underline of "not a word" and that irritates me. my internet appears to be rather unaccepting too. but off topic.) I'm hoping that given a bit of time, Vic will learn tolerance and come to appreciate Teddy for who he is again. But in the meantime OMG WHAT WAS THAT ENDING. I WAS SO NOT EXPECTING THAT. All I can say is this is a decision that will probably be regretted in the future. gah!

all in all a great chapter!

 Report Review

Review #2, by marauderfanKeep Calm and Carry On: The Unfortunate Truth

26th January 2015:
Oh no! I feel like the previous chapters were almost too good to be true, and then this chapter is like... the 16-tonne weight that crashes down and is like "Oh hey. Here's reality, it's back."

I feel so bad for Rose. I mean, she's not that nice, but for her to be dumped and then fired all in quick succession is a recipe for a horrible week. And in a way, Rose is no worse than any of the other characters, who as Theo quite wisely pointed out at the end, are all a bit unscrupulous when it comes to getting ahead in the news industry. Reading from Edie's POV I sympathise with her a lot, but in the end, they're all making decisions which hurt other people, even though they're not bad people. That's one thing I love about this story because that's the way the real world works. No one can be super nice and not upset anyone else and get ahead in a career all without sacrificing something, and this chapter really shows that, in their different decisions.

What a mess, though! And poor Justin and Lisa caught in the middle of it. I don't know how Edie is going to find her way out of this, but I'm certain she will. Even though it probably means a bit of unwanted media attention and who knows what with her job.

I've got to say though, you definitely did surprise me with revealing that Theo was the one who sold them out. I suspected that Rose liked Oliver, but that didn't make it any easier to find out for sure.

This was a great chapter!

Author's Response: Hiya!

It was indeed starting to feel a little too fluffy--had to get back to the "cold hard truth" of Edie's existence in which everything always goes wrong always.

I'm glad you feel bad for Rose! The last thing I wanted was to have some kind of standoff between she and Edie/Oliver, and have a clear "Ha! Rose we've finally bested you!" moment. She's having a rough time indeed, between Oliver and being fired. The tables have turned and now she's the one having rotten luck.

Yes! You really hit the nail on the head--I wanted this story progress from Edie thinking that she's so much better than Oliver, and being very high-and-mighty, and then slowly realizing that he is actually the kinder person with more integrity. Theo really spells it out for her in the end, as you pointed out. I think she needed to hear it from somebody she felt betrayed by; someone who she thought was her friend. Hearing it from her mother wasn't enough because she wrote it off, as she did with Lisa a bit.

"No one can be super nice and not upset anyone else and get ahead in a career all without sacrificing something..." Yes! I love reviews like this that allow for discussion of the plot... Aghh thank you so much.

Thank you so much for reading. The next chapter is a bit slow-going, but it's all coming to a culmination very soon ♥


 Report Review

Review #3, by marauderfanThe Worst: Settling

26th January 2015:
Hi Aditi! Here with your review!

Aah, your description of the still night in that first section is just GORGEOUS, I can picture it all so clearly. And then when Dom's transformation happens - that was incredibly well written and I feel like I was right there with her. You include all these details that just make the scene so real, I love it.

“Accio wand,” she muttered and saw it zooming towards her from the cabinet -- this stood out to me because can you summon something without a wand? (You might be right, and remembering something I'm not, but this surprised me - maybe something to have a look at.)

I really loved Dom's talk with Victoire and Julia - they are exactly what she needs. Victoire is sensitive and tactful and has all these gifts, Julia isn't tactful but she treats Dom just like normal, which I think is something Dom really craves. Everything is normal with her and her friends again and now she feels like she'll be okay -that is so great. I'm totally on the same page as Dom about the marriage, it's too much to rush into suddenly, but it definitely makes sense to talk to Teddy at this point and I'm glad Vic and Julia helped her come to that conclusion.

“That’s like my girl,” said Julia with a grin. -- here I think it might sound better to just say "That's my girl"

One area you might want to clarify is also this bit: She had braved the outside world for the first time yesterday for an interview for the Prophet. -- at first I thought she had been interviewed (about becoming a werewolf or something) and then I realized you meant she had conducted an interview (because she's a reporter). Maybe it was just me reading it wrong, but one way to clarify this would be to say "she had conducted an interview" or "she had interviewed someone about (insert random topic here)."

Hm. I don't actually remember who David Dale is but I remember the name, I think he had something to do with Delilah Jones' plan. And I think he was a werewolf. I'll look back a couple of chapters haha, as it's been a while since I read those now. I can't imagine what he wants from her though, unless he wants to apologise for something? Mystery. I like it.

Despite this being a bit fillery, I never have objection to filler chapters because I think they're important as kind of a break between really important scenes. And the first bit of this was not filler at all. I think showing her first transformation and recovery was so important and you did wonderfully with that. Can't wait to see how it all turns out! Great chapter. :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

I am pleased you liked the first section of the story. I tried my best with the descriptions so I'm glad it worked.

I think, in the HP books, someone does "Accio" their wand (though I can't remember who). I think advanced witches and wizards who have mastered spells can do this kind of magic. And I felt that Dominique could have done it so I wrote it =)

Victoire and Julia are really what Dom needs right now, and I'm glad that came across. I am also happy that Dom's reasoning for not marrying Teddy made sense to you!

I have now corrected the typo, thanks!

David Dale is a werewolf - that's all I'll say for now. More will be revealed in the next chapter. You don't have to look back if you don't want to - it'll make sense in the next chapter either way haha. I do love my mysteries ;)

I felt this filler chapter was important as well - to show Dom's transformation, its aftermath (I actually edited in some content that showed a more miserable aftermath than before) and her dealing with everything.

Thanks again!


 Report Review

Review #4, by marauderfanSubjugo Sempiterne - Forever Under the Yoke: Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

25th January 2015:
Hi Rose! I'm here for our swap. I remember seeing this on your page ages ago and it always intrigued me, as there's not a lot of stories about house elves, and I love that you decided to explore the origin of the subjugation of house elves.

I like how you started out (first because I love that quote) and also because it's kind of like the beginning of a fable. It gives it the properly old-fashioned feel you'd expect for something set in this era of wizarding history. The setting you began with is so interesting too, in a time where house elves and wizards were basically equal. That's such a lovely idea - as well as the fact that they became such good friends and learned from one another!

Even from the beginning you can see signs of prejudice even though their friends, with Hywel doubting Winifred's tale that she rode a dragon just because she's a small house-elf. I love the subtlety of this how it's a reminder that sometimes prejudice is there even when you don't realize it as such.

I think they could have seen through their differences if not for the intervention of Hywel's friend Rhein, who actively seeks to be more powerful and encourages Hywel to do so, as when an idea is commonly held it's a lot harder to challenge than just one individual, which is what Hywel's opinions were before Rhein supported them. I can see the beginnings of the magic is might idea in both of their reasoning, as well as how house-elf magic is more of a 'natural' magic.

Lol at Malmagus estate. I guess he had no chance at being a good wizard even if he wanted to be. :p

I like how you tied in the relations between wizards and Muggles and all the tensions that brings between not only humans but elves as well.

This is a really interesting story and you've brought up such interesting ideas. Are you planning to continue it! I"d love to read the rest!

Thanks for the swap!

 Report Review

Review #5, by marauderfanChicks Before Broomsticks: Hurt Heart

25th January 2015:
I think I might have missed your review hot seat day so this is kind of to make up for that? also because I'm just really excited there's a new chapter of this omg.

I loved the blanket fort. That's the perfect way to hide from all your problems. Even better when you have a friend there too. I've said this so many times but every chapter just reinforces it - I love their friendship, and how selfless it is, esp the fact that Alec drags up his own horrible histories to make Hollie feel better. I feel so bad for Alec getting kicked off that spot because Avery came back - it's so unfair to Alec. Gah, all Avery's return did is mess up a lot of things.

I know how much it must have hurt Hollie to see Roxanne and Avery like that, but here's my opinion: since Hollie wasn't there for the whole thing, and just saw one moment, there's really no way to tell what happened. Maybe it ended in an argument between Roxanne and Avery. Or maybe, if they do get back together, Roxanne will realize how many things she dislikes about Avery. I'd be fine with either of those outcomes. :p

eee! I love that you alluded to your Dean/Seamus fic here and how Luna is Hollie's godmother! :D That was a cute scene and I'm glad that Hollie's parents are supportive and encouraging. And... I think Dean notices something about Roxanne's behaviour that might not have been obvious to Hollie. Dean saw something that wasn't fake. Aha!

Lovely chapter, Julie!! :)

 Report Review

Review #6, by marauderfanKeeping Secrets: Enough

24th January 2015:
NO. WHAT.

ok, let me back up. I liked Liz's story about accidental magic. I'm glad she believes Charlie and that they're going to be okay. Which brings me to the END OF THIS CHAPTER WHAT IS HAPPENING. Not okay. Who is Amelia, really? Is she who she says she is? Or is she just angry at Charlie?

I am left wondering this: Where are the rest of the chapters because I need to find out all the things? :O Would it help if I send you annoying but supportive PM's asking you how the writing is going? :P

LOVED IT



 Report Review

Review #7, by marauderfanKeeping Secrets: The Other Secret-Keeper

24th January 2015:
Whaaa?

Mulciber?

She's a witch?

Did I mention alskjdflkajsdlfa?

Talk about PLOT TWIST. I never in a million years could have seen that coming. I just... okay. I'll start at the beginning. When Amelia mentioned that she knew magic was real I was just like OMG NO WAY THIS IS SO COOL and then figured Liz must be a Squib? and wow, she's a witch but was never allowed to train as one! Did she ever make weird things happen? No releasing pythons from the zoo or anything?

I wonder if she'll recall anything when she sits down to think about it after she's no longer freaking out.

I am kind of furious at her mum though. It was a selfish move on her part to not let Liz learn about magic. But I can kind of understand it, if at that time was the worst of the war and everything.

And oh my, has she some interesting things to tell Charlie now. I wonder how he will react to the news about her actually being a Mulciber...

OFFICIALLY ADDICTED TO THIS STORY

 Report Review

Review #8, by marauderfanKeeping Secrets: Secret Number 1

24th January 2015:
Happy Review Hot Seat Day!

CHARLIE. *headdesk* I can't believe he has avoided telling her for THIS LONG. But I guess once he's caught up in the lie, it's harder and harder to get out of it. I'm glad he's FINALLY TELLING HER though, it was about time he came out of the wizarding closet.

(there should totally be a term for that though, when you tell someone you're a wizard? like what type of enclosed space is distinctly magical? Ooh, I've got it: He came out of the Vanishing Cabinet.)

( /tangent. I'm sorry I have the attention span of a Pygmy Puff.)

Ahaha. Um, so Charlie didn't really do that very well, did he? I can think of a lot of better ways he could have said that. Also, doesn't the Statute of Secrecy allow him to demonstrate magic to her since they're already married? Otherwise that's a pretty harsh rule! If I were in Liz's place I'm not sure I would believe Charlie unless I saw some actual proof, so I can totally understand her reaction.

Oooh I think I know what Liz wanted to talk about, if the facts that a) she wasn't feeling well and b) she reacted really emotionally, are relevant. Hmmm...

what a mess they've got themselves in. I wonder how they are going to work this one out.

 Report Review

Review #9, by marauderfanTwo Earthly Kingdoms: To Anger a God

24th January 2015:
I'm here for the TGS review exchange. And wowww I'm so glad I got paired with you this month because this story is phenomenal.

Every single word in this story just feels so perfectly crafted, it's like reading a work of art rather than a story. (I'm sure I've said this to you before, too :p your writing is just SO GOOD and evocative and full of incredible imagery.) I want to quote back to you all the things I loved, but I think I'd end up quoting the entire story back to you because literally all of it was a masterpiece and I bow to your writing skills.

I loved all the allegories to Greek mythology here as well. My favourite being that of Lily as Persephone and Snape as Hades. Generally speaking though, all the references to Greek mythology were brilliant because it really reinforced this image Snape has of himself standing out so much above the others, and with him likening himself to Gods as he describes who he is relative to others, it just seems to fit so well, haha.

I also love how you wrote his completely twisted view of things and how it doesn't really have any logic to it but he's kind of rationalized it in his mind. Like how the sacred twenty-eight with their pureblood names are still lesser than he is despite his half Muggle heritage, because he holds on to the pureblood half of him, even referring to himself as "half a god" - just, the double standards are ridiculous. But they are SO Snape. I am so impressed with how you got into his head.

oooh, is that Regulus and Crouch in love? :D Never would have thought of that, but I like it. And Snape's reaction is perfect.

The way the two things Snape is passionate about are referred to as two separate kingdoms is so beautiful and I just love it. It really reinforces how mutually exclusive these two parts of his life are and how he can never have both of them. And then he loses one, then the other - it all builds up until that really poignant end as he can SEE how his thinking is so twisted. And I love the end - it's like the one place where this story intersects with The Prince's Tale (or whatever that chapter was called from DH) and really grounds it, as the rest of the story had been pretty much all in Snape's head. I didn't even realize until that very last line - the entire thing has no dialogue until that point, and that's so cool.

This was a fantastic fic Laura and I absolutely loved it!! AMAZING work. ♥

 Report Review

Review #10, by marauderfanPending Further Investigation: xi. epiphanies [or] the ace of hearts

24th January 2015:
I'm back! Ah, I'm so glad there's a sequel to TFWMS. And actually I think I like this story even MORE than TFWMS, if that's possible - mostly because the characters are older here and I can relate to them so much more, as I'm also in the seriously-what-am-I-doing-with-my-life phase. And I can so identify with the general feeling of excitement about new possibilities but at the same time a feeling of loss as the best friends you've had for years are spread all over the place and you rarely see them. Gah, my life in a nutshell. Your characters just feel SO REAL to me right now.

Also, this chapter: I love that you're giving Holly this storyline and, along with it, a voice for the struggles faced by people who are asexual. And I am so happy about Brodie/Holly omg.

So, yay! I'm all caught up, and I'll be back for the next update! :) This is a seriously amazing story and I'm so glad I spent this morning reading this fic rather than job searching. No regrets.

Author's Response: I'm glad you're back! and i know the feeling - i enjoy writing this one even more than tfwms, for the exact same reasons. i'm in the same boat as them as well, and it's really good being able to explore the myriad issues of being a young adult and staring your future in the face, i suppose.

i love holly and brodie more and more every day, and this is actually the first chapter of holly's that i've written since realising i'm on the ace spectrum. i think it reflects that, but i also hope my voice doesn't overshadow holly's here.

i'm really glad you're enjoying this story - it's my baby. go do your job searching, and i'll hopefully see you back for the next chapter!


 Report Review

Review #11, by marauderfanLife Was Meant to Be Easy Now: A Brand New Year

24th January 2015:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review, and so sorry for taking 80 years with it :-/

Anyway! This was really well done, and I like the way you contrasted the Potter family with the Malfoys, in terms of how accepting they are of Albus and Scorpius' relationship, and how they show it. The Potters all seem to be really open minded which is so nice. And I love the way you showed how the Potter siblings and cousins all tease each other - as that's exactly how large families like that work. Lots of teasing but it's all backed with love :) I imagine that's kind of a weird thing for Scorpius to adjust to though, as an only child that must be a very new experience.

Aw, poor Albus and Scorpius in the end when James' and Fred's insensitivity got to them. I am glad it didn't have too harmful of an impact though and maybe it means that James and/or Fred will think twice before speaking, and Albus and Scorpius will become comfortable and confident enough to be okay with insensitive teasing. I mean, long term goal here :p but it will be interesting to see how this interaction impacts the future.

I know that in the previous chapter you were kind of struggling with dialogue to fill out a scene but here it was perfect. I didn't feel like anything was glossed over, and I felt fully immersed in the scene. So really well done :)

Your characterization of Albus is really strong, btw - he's clearly established as someone who's kind of insecure and how Scorpius is really supportive. It's an interesting contrast to the previous chapter when Scorpius was in the role of the nervous one (as they were meeting his parents, it made sense)

One thing I do wonder, having not read the prequel, is how long Albus and Scorpius have been together. I can tell it's just recently that they came out, but for the readers who aren't familiar with Albus's Story, a brief mention of little details like that might be nice to give some context to their relationship. As well as what year they're in (they're still at Hogwarts right?) Even though they might be things you've already covered in the previous novel, a tiny bit of recap can't hurt. :)

Lovely work on this chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you for a great review! I'm especially happy that you're pointing out those missing details which are confusing for anyone who hasn't read the fist fic.

I'm going to edit this chapter and add those details, but here are the answers: Albus and Scorpius is in their Seventh year. They have known each other for seven months, but only dated for four months. Pretty fast proceeding in that relationship... ;-)


 Report Review

Review #12, by marauderfanSeized: When is the Timing Ever Good?

24th January 2015:
Happy Review Hot Seat Day :)

Hermione and Draco are getting very comfortable with each other's company ;) I like how they both kind of had that realisation and reflected on how odd it was that they are friends now.

I thought you incorporated the flashback really well, and it shows just how much the war changed Draco, as well as how powerful Hermione's kindness is. It was so sweet how her squeezing his hand gave him the motivation to keep going - and the fact that that motivated him rather than repulsed him really said a lot for how he'd changed.

And then how he gives her hand a squeeze as they're sitting there at lunch. Now, I'm still not converted to Dramione, but that was an adorable scene. Just saying. :p

I wonder if they'll find out anything else from Stan!

Excellent chapter :)

Author's Response: Kristin!! You are so amazing at leaving these hot seat reviews, you're honestly putting me to shame. Thank you a million times ♥

The flashback was Erica's idea, I wanted something to show that Hermione had begun to accept and maybe even forgive him a long time before their friendship started. I think of the trio she would be the one who was the most understanding of his actions from Voldemort's return and throughout the war.

Ahaha! I'm glad you liked that scene. I will have you converted to Dramione by the end of this story, I will!!

Thank you again ♥


 Report Review

Review #13, by marauderfanThe Fred Weasley Memorial Scholarship: xxi. the rest of our lives [or] an epilogue of sorts

23rd January 2015:
Okay! I've now read the whole thing. Apologies on not reviewing more of these chapters - when I read a fic that's got a lot of chapters I tend to just click right on through rather than reviewing, and I did that in this case because your story is addicting. I know, I'm terrible. BUT. This story was so, so wonderful and I am going to try to find the words to describe just how wonderful.

The way you handled LGBTQ characters, first of all, was just lovely. I also liked that within this group of Ravenclaws, four of the five of them were queer so it was the norm and Lester was the one who stood out as he was straight. Not that it mattered to any of them because they're just all good friends who love each other for being good friends. But I loved that because hetero was the minority here, it turned the tables on heteronormativity. That's so important.

Also, anxiety. I think you handled the subject so well, and as this is a big deal for some people it's especially important to handle tactfully and you really did. Rose's panic attack in the staffroom was heartbreaking and while I knew what was happening outside her head, (i.e. I could tell that the teachers weren't trying to expel her), seeing it all through Rose's eyes was so powerful and I felt so badly for her. It really did feel like a scary moment and you did so well portraying anxiety in this.

Albus and Scorpius were seriously amazing. I kind of had a mini-heart attack when they broke up for that short time there. I just loved your characterisation of both of them, and their obsessions with Latin and Ancient Greek made me smile every time. Please tell me they stay together forever.

All of your characters, though, were really impressive. You put such thought into their personalities and back stories and what makes them who they are, and it shows. They were all just such a delight to read, particularly all of them interacting together as a group. What an awesome group of people. :)

I can 1000% understand why this story won a Dobby. You totally deserve it. Thank you for writing this.

Author's Response: honestly it's such a huge compliment that you were so engrossed in the story that you didn't stop to review, it means a lot to me

turning the tables on heteronormativity is my mission in life. i can't articulate how happy it makes me that i achieved that because heteronormativity is such a damaging concept and it's so important to me that i challenge that. and lester being the 'token straight' is also lifted straight from personal experience - my flat is four-fifths queer too and we have the token straight guy, and nobody's queer in isolation. birds of a feather flock together and all that.

anxiety is another of those things i have a vested interest in portraying accurately because i have anxiety myself (and the staffroom scene was really draining and really helpful to write at the same time - this story has honestly taught me so much) but it was also important for me to show the value of having support networks in place - again, personal experience, because that wasn't something i had as a teenager.

albus/scorpius is endgame. they go through a lot together and some of it's worse than their brief break-up, but they do stay together forever and i don't think its spoiling anything of pending further investigation to tell you that.

i'm so glad you like them as much as i do, they really are my babies and i adore them and the way they interact. thank you so much for reading, and for this lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #14, by marauderfanThe Unspeakable and the Wasp: Unique Service

23rd January 2015:
It took me a while of scrolling down your page to find something I hadn't read! And then I found minor characters yay! I don't think I've ever read about either of these two before so I was so excited to find this (and also curious how I'd missed it before.)

Broom jokes. Lol. :p

I love the way you've set up Rookwood's character though and the way he is so stealthy at getting his information. It also explains why Ludo Bagman gave information to Death Eaters and provides a back story to something just glossed over in the books, so I really liked that aspect.

I really like that despite Rookwood being a Death Eater and blatantly using Bagman for information, he still does have a conscience. Too often I think that gets glossed over in Death Eaters, but I like that you didn't just portray him as 'all evil'.

Even if he decided to go against his conscience in the end and go back to being callous and indifferent, haha. I know he has a heart, however buried under indifference it might be. But I just love how it rounded out his character and indicated how he might have been different and how he had the capability to change. It's a really wonderful look inside the mind of an unfeeling death eater. You brought your characters to life so well.

Great read! Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: I was kind of surprised you had anything left to review. :-/ I must write more so you have more to read!!

Oh it wouldn't be a corny story by me if there weren't broom jokes. :P

Well, I think I as listening to the audiobooks when I got caught up in Bagman's story regarding Rookwood. I thought there could be more to it and wanted to create an origin for them passing information back and forth. I kind of had a James Bond meets Don Draper (hence the faceclaim) idea for Rookwood. It's all espionage, sexy, sexy espionage.

I'm not sure he has much of a conscience - just enough to give a moment's pause and rethink his actions. But, I do agree the death eaters get a broad-brush 'everything is evil' portrayal all too often.

Rookwood expected Bagman to be a bit more clingy or emotionally connected in the morning. If he had been, then I think he would have at least tried to be decent but saw that Bagman was just as callous as he as the next morning and slipped into his regular mode. :D

Thank you so much for the wonderful review and very nice compliments. :D :D

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #15, by marauderfankisses-blood-valentine: Ballad of Evvie and Bernie

23rd January 2015:
Swap! And I'm here to review this for the non-linear challenge.

That first section is so eerie. I can't tell what's real and what's not. Even though I'm really confused at this point, it's such powerful, visual writing and I'm so impressed. Whatever is happening, something's not right and Bernice's mind is in a different place than where all the action is taking place. She's either having a horrible nightmare/memory, or she's imagining positive things and convincing herself that they're real because what's actually real is too much to take in. I fear that it's the second one.

Bahaha! Evelyn and I would get along just perfectly - an activist, a feminist, and that valentine's day rant. Preach! :D

The second section with Bernie and Benjy was really heartbreaking because I know what happens to Benjy in the end, and their keeping secrets from one another just makes me wonder what would have happened if they had been honest. If Bernie had admitted she was seeing a Muggle, and if Benjy said he was doing dangerous stuff for the Order and that there is a real danger... all they're really doing is building up a false sense of security. Agh!

THE LAST SECTION WOW is so chilling. I had to really focus on all the details to pick up what was going on, which added to how brilliantly this is written omg. I am in awe. So, what I think happened is that she was found, unsuspecting, by Death Eaters and tortured for information about Benjy (now I'm furious that they didn't share their secrets with each other) and THEN as if that wasn't bad enough they put the Imperius Curse on her and she actually killed Evvie. Ah that's so horrible and sad. And the way she keeps thinking she's about to go visit Evie, even after it's been revealed that she is dead, it's like she is in shock. Or - she is reliving a happy memory, and then horrible things start to happen to it like blood and stuff because she's sitting in Azkaban and the dementors corrupt all of her happy memories into sad ones.

THE ENDING KILLED ME. "the innocent never do" ah I just... can't.

The non-linear narrative was brilliant in this as it really added to the way everything is so jumbled in Bernie's mind and it's not clear what's real or what's happening when until you really think about it. I think the choice of non-consecutive narrating really reinforces the mental state of the character and is largely what makes the story as eerie as it is. Brilliantly done. Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Kristin!!

Why are all of your reviews so good?!?!

The beginning, okay, this whole story, is a bit confusing. I'm not sure I would have gotten into this as a reader (which is a really weird thing to admit). You're on the right path with why she's going through such a terrible time.

Evelyn could be a lot of people I know. I mean, I've heard that V-Day rant many times over. :P

Their lack of honesty is really brutal in this story. I'm not sure how it would have shaken out if Bernie knew about the Order but it wouldn't have been like this.

I love your interpretation of the story with the information from the last section. I can't/won't reveal what really happened though. I think it's better left to people to work through and come to an understanding.

The ending was supposed to pour salt into wounds, poke feels, etc. I'm really happy it did.

This was my first story idea when you posted the nonlinear challenge. It felt like a narrative that would lose power if told in a straightfoward sense.

Thank you so much for the swap and challenge to write this!!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #16, by marauderfanPlay the Devil: A Closed Circle

22nd January 2015:
Do mine eyes deceive me or is this a NEW CHAPTER?!?! :D :D YES IT IS AND I AM SO EXCITED

Ooh, I'm really curious what happened between Scorpius and Rose. I'm also under the impression that it was not entirely Scorpius' fault, as we're seeing this all from Rose's likely biased perspective. But he clearly did something, because he acts like he regrets it. What I can't figure out is whether he's trying to help her because he actually still cares a lot about her, or because he's trying to make up for whatever transgression he did.

The twenty first century seems far busier. I love how you showed this through Rose feeling like just a number being processed at St. Mungo's.

It's nice seeing the Weasley family again though, and like Rose, I feel like it's been so long since I've read about them here, but for Hermione and Hugo it's only been a day since last time they saw Rose. Hermione's reaction to Rose being extra sentimental was funny.

Hahaha, Rose looked Edward up on Wikipedia. I seriously forget about the existence of the internet in fic, it's like two separate worlds, but this is happening like present day so of course even magical folk would have some knowledge of the internet. I am SO impressed with her self control though, and the way she didn't click to find out about Richard - I would not have been able to avoid clicking and finding out anyway! I'm the person who sometimes reads the last page of books before I actually get there and potentially end up spoiling it for myself. It's literally the worst habit.

This was such a good chapter, and I love how it delved into a bit of the complications of time travel, how Rose finally realises how serious it is (when she's debating clicking to find out more) and that knowing things can be dangerous. And after all that she still wants to return to the past. I guess she hasn't learnt her important lesson yet... that'll come when she seriously messes something up, I guess :p

Loved it!!!

 Report Review

Review #17, by marauderfan(Who) Needs Horcruxes?: Legend

22nd January 2015:
For the Review Hot Seat
oh my god yes. This is what I never knew I needed in my life. I LOVE the way you've written the Doctor and Clara and their dialogue that easily goes on tangents, I can see this so perfectly in my mind. The bit about Rubik's cubes made me laugh! As well as the question the Doctor answered when Clara hadn't even asked it yet. :D Perfect.

But gah that beginning section. DID VOLDEMORT TRY TO RECRUIT THE DOCTOR?! because I can't imagine that will go over well ahahaha I am so excited for the Doctor and Clara to step out of the tardis and into the pages of HP. AAH! If you can't tell, I'm super excited about this and hope to see a new chapter soon. This is gold. Love it.

P.S. The Tenth Doctor was totally my fave as well ;)

 Report Review

Review #18, by marauderfanTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : The Inevitable Breakdown

22nd January 2015:
Here for our swap! :)

I can't believe she actually said yes to him! Of course it was a trick though :-/ but I love how even though she's kind of giddy and has all these feelings, she's still primarily making decisions based on logic, as she agrees to walk with him to not give away her prior knowledge of where the Owlery is, etc.

Ahaha. Poor Peter, laughing so hard that milk came out his nose. That is the worst thing to have happen to you at a meal. I can relate ahaha

The breakdown seemed entirely realistic for Hermione. She's kept herself together so well in such an incredibly difficult situation where she's had all these surprises thrown at her. It really is impressive. So I can't blame her for freaking out. And her reasons for saying no to Sirius make sense too, it's not like she's just playing hard to get, but because she knows what happens to him and she's worried about what happens in the future. And - all this and she can't tell anyone! I'd be going crazy. Or else I'd be spilling secrets right and left and it'd be bad.

So I couldn't really blame her for letting Sirius down at the end - she does have valid reasons. But I can understand why Sirius would be so upset as she gave no reason even after that intense eye-staring thing they had. Ah! Time travel complications!

Awesome chapter, Meg!

 Report Review

Review #19, by marauderfanMean: The One Where they Return to Classes

22nd January 2015:
Ah, I was wrong, oh well. It turns out she does like Declan the Ravenclaw.

I'm really appreciating Lily's humour, especially Asking Cara Out 101. It sounds so simple when she says it like that :p

Ugh, Declan. Did he really ask how come he didn't know Lucy likes girls, when he's known her for like, an hour? Is he expecting all queer people to wear signs around their neck that say "I'm queer!" just so he knows?? Ha. Lucy handled the situation very well though without rolling her eyes at Declan's ignorance. And ugh don't even get me started on 'no homo' what an absurd phrase.

I really do love the way Lucy and James interact. They're so supportive :)

Crashing a Ravenclaw party! Ha, of course it's on the Astronomy Tower, what a Ravenclaw-y place for a party. Maybe they'll have telescopes, just in case anyone wants to do a bit of stargazing in the middle of the party. :p Sounds nerdy but hey I'd love to go to a stargazing party haha.

Oh Lucy, famous last words. That last line is basically a sure sign that it WILL happen :p

awesome chapter!

 Report Review

Review #20, by marauderfanMean: The One with the Feast

22nd January 2015:
Lucy is the best! I loved how she made that first-year feel so at home - and that's such a great point about dietary restrictions. Given that most of the food discussed in the books are meat dishes of various types, I always wondered (as a vegetarian) where that leaves the vegetarians, or anyone with food allergies - but of course there had to be special dishes. Just because Harry only narrated about British meat dishes doesn't mean there weren't other options on the table :p

Also, I really appreciate the representation having a Muslim character in this, even if she is only in this one scene, it's so lovely to see diversity in fic.

I love the banter with the boys and how she's such good friends with all of them, despite how ridiculous they all are. Although it's a useless skill I'm totally jealous that they can recite the alphabet backwards. :p

Cara and Eleanor seem like they're trying to hide a huge secret and they're not sure how Lucy will react to it. I don't think this has anything to do with Cara having a Ravenclaw crush. because then what would Eleanor be doing just hanging out there too? My theory is that they're using the Ravenclaws as a cover story and they're actually sneaking off together, just the two of them because they fancy each other. Yes, I realise this is more of just a collection of twigs than a ship, but that's what I think until I am proven otherwise :p

 Report Review

Review #21, by marauderfanMean: The First One

22nd January 2015:
Hi Kayla! Happy Review Hot Seat Day! I know there isn't actually a day set aside for you, but as you've been running the whole thing and set it up, I felt like you deserved some appreciation for that. ♡

Already in the beginning I can relate to Lucy so much because my mum is a relentless hugger too - when I went off to university across the country, after two hugs she would still want another one at the last minute before I left to fly off. Ahaha

I love that James used to play princesses with Lucy. :D They are such wonderful cousins, I love how close they are.

Now that I think about it, Lucy fics are rare, or really any fic about Percy's family, so I like that you've written about her here and that she's so awesome! She's not a Percy clone. And talking of Percy, I love how you've written him as well, how he cares a lot but is bad at saying so, particularly in public - that seems so true to his character in the books so well done with him.

Wondering what's going on with Lucy's friends! Hmm. Must read on. :D

 Report Review

Review #22, by marauderfanThe Fred Weasley Memorial Scholarship: ix. the family we choose [or] all you need is love

22nd January 2015:
Hi Lisa. I apologise in advance for this review because it's 1 in the morning and as Rose can attest (i.e. toomanycurls, not Rose Weasley) my brain doesn't work past about 10 so I leave lots of loopy late night reivews.

Anyway, what I want to say is that I love this story. I've been hearing so much about it for so long and finally decided to read it and I'm so glad I did - I just love the characters and how hyou're addressing such important issues and things that are not often mentioned in fiction but are so relatable. And you've done it with such fantastic dialogue and humour. I want to be friends with all these nerdy Ravenclaws. Even though I'm not a Claw, I feel like I'd fit right in and that they are the sort of people who would actually appreciate my memorising Pi to 67 places.

Though I really want to just keep reading, I will finish the rest of the story tomorrow because my right eye is twitching in tiredness. That's probably for the best though beause then I'll be able to write proper reviews in the morning. Ciao!



Author's Response: don't ever apologise for loopy late night reviews because i treasure them so much

thank you so much! i feel like tfwms is probably sitting in that category of "i've heard a lot about this story, i should read it sometime" for a lot of people and it's always really gratifying to hear that it's been worth their time or lives up to expectation.

they would definitely appreciate your memorising Pi to 67 places. especially holly because she's a huge dork. i want to be friends with them all as well but alas they're not real and i made them up

thank you so much for the review (and for reading to the point of eye twitches!)


 Report Review

Review #23, by marauderfannot like other girls: one.

21st January 2015:
Ahh! I'm really excited for this story. It is so rare to find stories about a trans character and I'm so glad you are writing one such story. Your characters already start out so three-dimensional, which is impressive for only one chapter, and I like how completely normal they are. The way you weave the characters' disorders or differences in is really beautiful too because it's not a defining characteristic of their personality, it's just one feature, and what stands out to me the most about these characters is that they are like any normal teenager. They each have their issues of their own that they're dealing with, they have good friends, they gossip about people they like, and they set off the fire alarm while cooking. So basically they just feel so real. :)

I really love this first chapter and can't wait to see where you go with this.

 Report Review

Review #24, by marauderfanSweet Talk: Welcome to Hogwarts

20th January 2015:
Here for our swap!

Lol, how ridiculous is it to take the train? Especially if they live in Hogsmeade. It's just so absurd to have to Apparate clear across the country and then take an 8 hour train right back. I love that you included that though, really points out the silliness and idiosyncrasies of the wizarding world. :D

I like the way you've written the relationships between all the characters. They're all friendly to each other, but don't all necessarily like one another, as seen in the case of Sweets being so irritated by Ryan. But it all feels very real and teenager-y. I like how in this chapter you've introduced a lot of characters and even this early on, they all have distinct traits and don't blend together. I like Kane, he seems like a really sweet friend.

I also like the kind of outsider's view of the Weasleys and Potters, as no one in Sweets' friend group is really good friends with them or anything - they know each other, but just in the sense of an academic or Quidditch rival :D

Predictions: Hufflepuffs are sooo going to win the cup. Obvi. :P

This is a great chapter! Lovely work :)

Author's Response: Hi!

It is a bit ridiculous. But that's what Sweets wanted! :D

I tried to make them a close knit group, even if some annoy the others. I know my friends drive me up the wall sometimes, but I still love them. I tried to make them as original as possible, and thank you for confirming that they are! :D

I enjoy seeing the outsider's view too. None of them are friends with them, so they just see them through school and sports, as you said :)

You'll just have to wait and see about the cup, but thanks for the prediction! :D I love hearing what readers think is going to happen.

Thanks so much!

-Leigh


 Report Review

Review #25, by marauderfanVictoire: Uncle Harry's Warning

20th January 2015:
Hi Emma! I am finally here with your requested review, so sorry for the wait!

Haha, the bit about Googling the lunar calendar threw me off for a second before I realised that this story takes place like NOW. As in, THIS YEAR. :O For some reason I've never really made that connection, as most next-gen takes place in the future but this was like my first realisation that next-gen is nowhere near as far off as it was when reading DH the first time. omg the future is creeping up on us wow I just suddenly feel old. Sorry I'm getting off topic and distracted. It must be my sudden old age. :p

Ah, I love that Snape's annotations on the potions textbook were eventually published and made useful for future students. That's really great.

You asked about transitions. I don't think I've ever seen transitions done like this before, with them so clearly designated with the time and location. It's very blunt, but I like it - it makes me think of crime investigations or the like, when they have all this meticulous time and place information and in a way, there is a murder investigation going on in the background of this story. So - it's unusual, but I think it totally works.

Your characterisation is stellar as well. A lot of what makes them three-dimensional already is the way most of the information about them is revealed in little details, or with well thought out background information. I love that Lee Jordan is now a major radio host! The bit about why the seventh years are so close is really sad, and is not something I'd have thought of but it makes perfect sense.

Victoire feels real too, particularly the bit about the note she found. I think the fact that she took it and then forgot about it really made her relatable, because she has good intentions but still isn't perfect and forgets. As can be said about a lot of real people.

Some little things I wanted to point out:

Victoire tried not to think about what they were -- instead of 'they were' I think this should be 'it was', as the rest of the references to the red are singular pronouns.

And werewolves have a lower life expectancy than humans anyway, -- Perhaps this is me just reading this too sensitively, but I don't know if 'humans' is the best way to say 'non-werewolves'. After all, werewolves are humans too (well, 95% of the time). Unless this is intentional, and meant to show exactly the sort of thing Hermione is fighting against with her werewolf rights bill?

Anyway, just something that made me think. This story is DEFINITELY interesting so far and I love how it's just brilliantly thought out - I can tell a lot of planning went into this story and I admire that. Excellent work! :)

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much!

I had exactly the same thought about the year. It's strange for it suddenly not to be a long way in the future. Although the younger next gen kids still have a little way to go until their time.

Your comments on the transitions are really helpful. I'm not sure why I ended up writing this in this way, and it's something I've been a bit worried about. It's a real relief that you like it. And the investigation comparison is an interesting one. It's not something I thought about when I started writing but it fits the tone of the plot.

And thank you so much for liking the characters! I'm enjoying Victoire a lot, and I hope she feels real and human.

I'll fix that about the drops of red - thanks for pointing it out.

And ooo, interesting about Harry referring to non-werewolves as 'humans'. If it was Hermione speaking I think she'd definitely use a different word, but maybe with Harry it's a product of the society he's a part of? I'm not sure. I'll probably come back and change it to something else but it's definitely something to think about.

Thank you so much for such a lovely review! I really appreciate it.

Emma x


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>