Reading Reviews From Member: marauderfan
  
866 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfanMy Life In Gold: My Life In Gold

21st October 2014:
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS.

That is all.



Author's Response: THANK YOU!!!

xoxo


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Review #2, by marauderfanThe Deathly Children: Of Blood and Intent

21st October 2014:
Before I begin my review, I just wanted to say congratulations on the Best Description award, teh - you totally deserve it!! ♥

This was such a great chapter. I absolutely love the way in which you continue to develop Gellert's character. The section in the beginning, where he sees children playing rock-paper-scissors and is reminded of the Hallows, was especially great because it shows the depth to which Gellert is really obsessed with the Hallows, seeing the signs everywhere.

I thought it was interesting too how he said magic is magic and who cares about pure bloodlines. That's really not what I was expecting from him, though now that I think about it, I don't remember Grindelwald ever being associated with Voldemort's style of pureblood supremacy, rather that Grindelwald was just "a dark wizard" - for what could be any number of reasons. So that was really cool.

I also noted the difference in how he behaves with various people - he's so unpredictable, but at the same time I can tell that there is thought behind all of it, depending on whether or not he sees the person as useful in his future. As in, he's quite rude to the boys, particularly Creevey, because they mean nothing to him, but he was rather kind (albeit condescending) to Ariana - only because he thinks that will put him in Albus' good graces perhaps. And upon seeing her magic, he doesn't underestimate her. He's a sly one, and I just love the way you write him.

Likewise, your writing of Ariana is really admirable and the way you write her illness and the Glass Girl and Crone showing up all over the place and Ariana mentions them as if it's nothing out of the ordinary, it makes Ariana's perspective seem really normal as that's what she's used to, but stepping back from her perspective it's obvious that the world doesn't look that way to everyone else. I have a feeling we're going to see more interaction between Gellert and Ariana, because although she's a bit mad, I think Gellert can see that she knows something or at least senses something about the Hallows, and he'll want to find out what it is and where she heard about it.

Really excited to read on - I'm so glad to see you're working on this for NaNo ;) Great chapter!

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Review #3, by marauderfanLying Josephine: Eye of the Storm

21st October 2014:
Tanya! Words cannot express how stoked I was to see a new chapter of this! Also, now I know your secret - if your writing is motivated by PM's full of love and pestering, I will get on that ASAP. :p

I love love love the growing friendship between Jo and Fred - their conversations are so funny as it's mostly just Fred prattling on, punctuated by very to-the-point comments (or hand gestures) from Jo. Aw, he told her his secrets! That is the mark of friendship. Besides, it's not like she's the type to tell secrets, or anything really :p

I know the second section with George is much more somber, but I still couldn't help giggling at the sheer amount of poo-related products available for purchase at the twins' shop. Poo d'Etat... haha brilliant. Faecal Treacle? Ew. And brilliant. These shouldn't be as funny as they are. XD

But moving on - I really loved the whole conversation between Jo and George. It was all kinds of awkward, but just the fact that they went through all these emotions together - the guilt, the accusations, the grief - that's bringing them closer together, because intense conversations like that aren't something you just forget about the next day. I only wish Jo had said the things she was thinking about saying! I know she uses a lot of facial expressions and few words which maybe Fred would have understood a deeper meaning, but George doesn't know her as well yet. I mean, I'm sure he knew she was trying, but I think if she'd actually articulated what she wanted to say, it would have helped George a lot. Well, they will have more time for that..

I noticed one small typo in this chapter. It's in the A/N: you wrote "I am the worst", but I think you meant "best". ;) BECAUSE YOU'RE THE BEST! I'll pester you with love and support in a few days to see how chapter six is coming along ;) Awesome work!

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Review #4, by marauderfanPlay the Devil: Starlight

21st October 2014:
I'm so impressed with the historical background in this story - you must have done a lot of research. It's what really sets this story up well and makes it feel real, all these things are happening on such a rich historical backdrop. Not only the succession of kings and who's related to whom, but the societal things as well like Rose thanking the servants out of habit, or accidentally apologising to them - it continues to remind me just how out of place she is even after so long in the past.

Hmm. I think Scorpius cheated on her. Based on the short discussion of him in the beginning of the chapter, and then about halfway through when Rose is lamenting things that suck in the modern day, like bad haircuts or adulterous partners. It's a clue! Scorpius cheated on her... with a hairstylist :p ok, scratch the last part, but. that is what I think. :p

I loved the scenes with Rose and Richard together, particularly when they went to the stables and Rose was so forward with him and still playful - it's always amusing to me to see Richard try and step out of his natural formality and how Rose brings that out.

Wow, the end has me wondering and guessing all sorts of things. That bit about the starts creepily glowing like a face was so eerie and definitely held some dark sense of foreboding - first something strange going on with Richard, and then weird signs in the sky, and I feel like the "walking over your grave" comment was actually pretty important. I'm sure Rose didn't mean it literally, but... I'm sensing a lot more meaning in it than she probably intended. Ahh and then all of a sudden Rose is back in the twenty first century! In the middle of the night when she was sleeping! How did she get there? I thought it was only Apparition that caused it. Did Scorpius find the potion in her bag and bring her back? Omg so many questions, I guess I have to be patient and wait and see :p

Awesome chapter, Jenna!

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Review #5, by marauderfanPerfectly Pansy: A Proper Pureblood Witch

20th October 2014:
Review tag!

Hi Beth! I loved this story - mainly because I adore seeing things from the eyes of a minor character, but also because second person adds such a wonderful effect to writing.

I thought you really got into Pansy's head well, and while I certainly don't like her any more, she is much more understandable - the way she acts is the product of persistent maxims and teachings she's been brought up with. She is trying to be a perfect pureblood witch and in pointing out all the things that go along with that - behaviour, appearance, who she sits with - you've done a remarkable job.

Also, the alliteration! I kind of tried to alliterate in my previous paragraph (and now this one too, heheh) but didn't do particularly well - How did you think of so many words that start with P? :p Anyway, it's great, and I think that subconsciously it adds to this effect of Pansy being the perfect pureblood princess. Really clever word choice throughout. :)

I like the way you showed the other characters through Pansy's eyes as well. Draco appears to be this dashing hero who saves Pansy in the corridor from the mean, fiery Gryffindors, whereas if this scene were from Harry's POV then the trio would not come across as so rude and Harry would have mentioned something about a sneer on Draco's face and Pansy looking horrifically smug, or something. It's really interesting the way different POV's almost make for a different story entirely.

Anyway, really well done on this! I notice in your A/N that you mentioned you were a little uncomfortable writing Pansy but it really doesn't show, you did a fantastic job with her. :)

Author's Response: Hey there!

Thanks so much for this! I always worry that I went overboard with the alliteration and it just makes me breathe a huge sigh of relief when someone likes it!

I don't really like Pansy either, but I was really glad that I had to write about her. I feel like this story sort of made me realize that I *could* be a better writer. I went out of my comfort zone - both with the character that I was assigned and the POV. I'm so glad you thought it worked ♥

I've actually taken some heat regarding the confrontation with the trio, but I really agree with you - it is Pansy's POV and she would think them rude and arrogant.

The alliteration part was actually not as difficult as writing Pansy. I did, however, have to use the thesaurus quite a bit :)

I'm so glad you liked this - thanks so much for this super-sweet review!

Beth


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Review #6, by marauderfanL'optimisme: Wales

20th October 2014:
So glad to return to this story as I loved the first chapter so much! And before I start, I'm just going to offer you HUGE CONGRATULATIONS for winning the best quote Dobby!!!

I really like the POV switch. Gellert's voice is so different from Albus's, and the things he notices and remarks on are different as well. But as in the previous chapter, he's talking half to himself, half sort of across the distance to Albus, wherever he is at the time. I like that style.

This is really such an interesting portrayal of Gellert, as well. It's really not what I expected from him - I think I was expecting his narration to be less nostalgic, and boldly unapologetic, a bit twisted as he's been sitting in prison all these years. But I guess the years that have passed since all these things happened have softened the memories a little, so he looks on those days in a different way than he would have if he were narrating it as a younger man. There is bitterness there, but it's kind of masked, as nostalgia often tends to do. I loved the way you describe the rolling hills of Wales in this romantic way, and how the place really impacted him.

One of the things that stands out to me the most about your writing is just how beautiful it is. It flows so well, paints gorgeous pictures of feelings and moods. It all feels very profound, even when Gellert isn't talking about particularly profound things - I don't know how you do it, it's really a talent. Given the way you use words, I am not at all surprised that you won the best quote Dobby!

Hmm, the end makes me think it was Albus who killed Ariana. Gellert is maddenly unclear about that :p But I appreciated the anecdote about Ariana's death and the way it affected Gellert - as his POV on the issue is probably the one that's generally less thought about, but of course it had a huge impact on him as well as Albus.

Anyway, wow. Fantastic chapter and thanks so much for the swap!!

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Review #7, by marauderfanGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 9

20th October 2014:
Review swap! Heh, I already had this chapter pulled up in a tab on my browser, along with like 8 other stories I'm trying to catch up on, so yay now I'm doing this one first.

Every time, I am so impressed by how you write the twins. And all of the Weasleys, really! I feel like this is right out of the pages of the books (except for the additional character of Sadie.) Sometimes I wonder if JKR writes all the Weasley scenes for you because it's just SO perfect and true to character for all of them. I loved the scene in the beginning too with Mrs Weasley trying to get everyone off to Diagon Alley - it was such a perfect combination of stern motherliness and teasing humour, I loved it.

“You-Know-Who leaves you homework hints? Blimey, I feel robbed. Do you think he’d be willing to branch out? Merlin knows I could use the help with Potions.” -- hehe, love it.

I really enjoyed reading their adventure through Diagon Alley - much like Harry's first trip there in Philosophers/Sorceror's Stone, it really feels magical - not just in the sense that there is magic going on, but all the wonder and discovery of new exciting places. It was neat to see Sadie find her element, in the bookstore and then once again in that joke shop. The way the twins kept talking about Hermione's love of books, it made me grin to see that scene as it was kind of like a reminder to the twins that people can love books AND love creating mischief - they're not mutually exclusive traits.

Ooh, the beginning of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes! I loved this scene because in the books it's like this place just appeared out of nowhere suddenly vacant and the twins bought it, so I like that you showed it in its state of disrepair before anyone did anything with the property. And they were buying ingredients for Canary Creams and whatnot during that visit, just as Mrs Weasley predicted they would. But as we know, those sneaky twins will find a way to get away with it! :p

Awesome chapter, as always! I look forward to reading more :D

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Review #8, by marauderfanCount Me In: To Die By Your Side: Spring

20th October 2014:
Here for our review swap!

I do love stories about the twins. (And I love the Smiths, which is where I feel like your title came from, so I'm basically destined to like this story.)

I like how you started with just an average day in Ava and Gemma's lives - your descriptions of the Hogwarts grounds in the sun was just beautiful and makes me wish I could sit outside in the sun too. (Except it's not sunny here.) It's also an interesting perspective into the lives of the older Hogwarts students that Harry doesn't bother to talk much about in the books - I'm excited to read about Angelina and Fred and George and everyone else in that year from the perspective of their classmates.

Looking at the pairings and genres listed for this story, I legitimately have no idea in what direction the story will go from here. It starts out so funny and light hearted, but based on the title and the fact that this goes through DH... I think it's gonna get sad :( But I love Hogwarts era stories so I'm sure that despite the sad, it'll be great :)

I think you've done well characterizing Gemma, too - at first I thought she seemed a bit too perfect as she's free spirited and gorgeous, but I like that you added the bit about her being petty and possessive too, it really rounds out her character a lot more.

Great first chapter! I'm excited to see where this story goes from here. :)

Author's Response: Hi, hi, thanks for reading!

I love stories about the twins too. I plan on writing as many as humanly possible, because I am sick of the lack of twin fics!
My title does come from the Smiths :)

This fic will really revolve around the older characters - of course, Harry will be in it a little, and Hermione plays a part later in the story, but I am really focusing it around that class, so hopefully you'll enjoy how I characterize them!

Yes, I have a lot planned for this story. It'll be interesting, so stick around if you feel like it. The pairings/genres only shed a little bit of light as to whats coming.

Gemma was hard. I didn't want to have a Mary Sue, but she is supposed to be a little too good to be true (on the outside - she's got some issues on the inside). Thanks for all your feedback, it means a lot!

-the ghost of his last laugh



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Review #9, by marauderfanBackground Noise: A Gentle Snow of Pianofortes

20th October 2014:
SHE WAS ARGUS FILCH IN A PREVIOUS LIFE

Ha, I love this story. Where do you come up with this stuff?!

"before it starts hailing taxis"... hahahahah. I'm a huge fan of terrible puns. Seriously, every time I leave a review on this story I'm not even able to describe how awesome it is. The complete weirdness of everything that happens, your quirky and clever writing style, mentioning the most absurd things in a chill way as if they're so commonplace, the way everything actually ties together in a brilliant way, all of it. Basically, I have trouble writing review on this story because I just want to quote the entire thing back to you, but a) it would not be a very useful review, and b) it would exceed the character count anyway.

Ok, one more quote. "Statues in togas, statues of togas" just... love it. If you wouldn't mind clarifying though, is it a statue of a pile of cloth - like a toga with no one in it, or a statue of a toga as if it's on a person who's not there? Like a statue of the shape of a toga around an invisible person. :P

MacGyver Malfoy, that crafty jerk. Please write a spinoff fic about him.

That whole scene with James (I mean, The James) fishing things out of his pockets (like a kitchen sink, and Every Flavour Pita Bread XD) made me laugh out loud! Actually, most of this story has made me laugh out loud.

knighted for services to bodybuilding hahaha. I know I said I wasn't going to quote you anymore, but I lied.

This story is so fresh and original and crazy, but I found the following quote by Oscar Levant, which I think sums up your story very well: "There's a fine line between insanity and genius." Thus, this story is genius and you are brilliant. Hats off to you my friend (or I would take my hat off, if I'd not lost it while laughing in the beginning of the chapter.



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Review #10, by marauderfanKeeping Secrets: After the Battle

20th October 2014:
TAG!

So, this is weird but I don't think I'd read much on your author page except the HC story from last year! What?! :O So I'm glad I happened to click on review tag at the right time as it reminded me to go read more of your wonderful work! :D

I've read very few stories about Charlie, so this was a nice change. And aghh, this beginning chapter was just so sad. I suppose everything post-battle of Hogwarts is sad, especially when we're talking about the Weasleys, but you really worked those emotions in and it was powerful.

I also like that you touched on the issue of survivor's guilt - of course Fred's death isn't Charlie's fault, but it's easy to understand why he would feel that way, and his self imposed isolation in his room makes a lot of sense. The contrast you drew between his tough and strong exterior as a dragon tamer, but underneath is really sensitive, was really great and makes him a very real character, and it definitely adds to what I think will end up being an important theme in the story, that of putting up a front (I'm assuming, based on the story title, haha.)

I hope Bill will be able to help him get through it, as they are both suffering the same thing, and Bill totally seems like the sort of person who's good at listening. I love the way you've written him here.

Guh, post-war fics about the Weasleys always make me so sad, but I do love them! This is a great new perspective for a post war Weasley story and really well done on the first chapter! :)

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Review #11, by marauderfanbloom.: bloom

20th October 2014:
Maia, I don't know how you do it, but every single story I read by you is just 100% brilliant. I can totally see why you won the Dobby award for this story (ps: CONGRATULATIONS!!!), as you have such a talent for writing minor characters! The one you wrote about Madam Pince is one of my favourite stories - you have this remarkable ability to take a kind of boring character that no one really thinks about much, and weave this incredibly detailed history that's packed full of emotion and gives such life to the character. And this one - wow, what an emotional punch.

Poppy was a really relatable character for me, in her kind of drifting and not knowing what she wants. And she just felt so real. I also loved the informal writing style and thought it fit the character so well - it's very no-nonsense, it is what it is - kind of how Poppy acts.

The story of Poppy's marriage and then motherhood and then her baby's death was just so tragic. I had a feeling it would ruin the relationship between Poppy and Dewey, but it still made me sad to watch that all happen. But I think that a child's death often causes rifts like that so it all seemed very natural. I like that there wasn't a lot of drama with her and Dewey. They just were, and then weren't. I only wish she'd told him she'd found a cure for the disease Marigold died of.

I was so hopeful about Genevieve and Poppy ending up together - it seemed like she was good for Poppy. And I have to say I loved the progression of that interaction when they first met, to how Genevieve stayed behind in the library for longer each day, and how in a few short sentences, Genevieve was no longer the rude lady making assumptions at the library counter, and was actually rather sweet. I was pretty sad when Poppy moved on, but not altogether surprised. But I think the end is left open enough that maybe Genevieve will come back. I'll just keep thinking that :)

I also like what you pointed out about school grades versus intelligence. Some people don't learn best in traditional school settings and I think Poppy is probably one of those people - school just didn't interest her, but she was clearly intelligent, as she figured out this cure all on her own and without proper Healer training first! I'm glad she got her research published, although it's sad she will never be recognised for it. It kind of made me think of that woman who discovered the shape of DNA but it was published by Watson and Crick, and now very few people have heard of Rosalind Franklin. But I digress. At least Poppy's cure is being used to save people, which is all she wanted from it in the first place. Good for her!

Anyway, I'll conclude this gushy ramble by saying that I loved this story, and you made Poppy Pomfrey's journey to becoming a healer a very engaging and emotional story, and I'm so glad I read it! I'll never think of the stern Hogwarts matron in the same way again. Bravo on such a wonderful fic, Maia. ♥

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Review #12, by marauderfanMixed-up in Magic: two

27th September 2014:
Tag!

I remember reading the first chapter of this a few months ago and really enjoyed it, so it was exciting to see a second chapter!

I like how you wrote the scene from the previous chapter from Al's POV this time around, so I know what was happening with both parties throughout all of it. (I do think possibly some of the dialogue could be left out of that conversation this time around just to avoid repetition, but otherwise it was great!) It's also nice to see Taryn through another POV than her own, as it gives a less biased view of her character. Or at least, a different bias :p

Oh, that part about Dean's daughter was so sad :( like why don't you stomp on my heart how that you've ripped it out :'( But I think the bit at the end is the most interesting. The point about her feeling guilty for still being alive is realistic, and at the same time I'm wondering if there is more to it than that, like if she was involved in something and the murderer recognised her.

But what is 'Wanderers'? The murderer is leaving some pretty obvious clues, almost like they want to be discovered! Hm. Excited to find out more! Great chapter!

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Review #13, by marauderfanReincarnation: Back

27th September 2014:
Hi! You posted around a week ago about a review swap and I only just saw it, so here I am finally! I'm really glad you requested this story in particular, because the topic and the concept of it all are just brilliant. I haven't seen any stories about reincarnation on the archive so this was especially cool to read. And if this is going to be a Rose/Scorpius eventually - it's a really unique take on a common ship, and I'm excited to see how you do it!

I like the way you started out with very vague descriptions and partial memories, as would really befit a lost, disembodied soul wandering in space or time or whatever it is that souls wander through- things like description and settings and specifics probably matter very little to someone that doesn't occupy space.

Ooh, revenge! I'm really curious what she is trying to get revenge on Scorpius for! And I like how you explained the reincarnation so it really fits in with the magical world - it sounds like Rose has returned for a similar reason that most ghosts return as well. Only with Rose, she found a new body to inhabit while drifting in this nothingness.

I hope to find out more about Rhea as well - like whether Rose knew her when they were alive, how she died, what happened to her soul. (I think it'd be really funny if Rhea's soul reincarnated in Rose's body. :p) And how are the families going to react to all of this - both Rhea's family and Rose's? Eee so many questions. This is a really effective first chapter as it raises lots of questions and makes me want to keep reading! Awesome work! And once again I'm sorry you had to wait so long for that swap!

Author's Response: god, I'm the worst! I completely forgot about the review swap! I'll get to it soon!

I'm smiling like crazy at this review, there's no way I can respond coherently to such a lovely review.

OMIGOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH! :D KJHFYSHDSJDHSDSKDHDDHSJD THIS IS JUST SO SWEET!

Ahem.

Glad you liked it!


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Review #14, by marauderfanEverto Trucido: Halloween 1976 -- Part Two

18th September 2014:
HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS NEW CHAPTER. NOW I AM SO STOKED ABOUT THIS REVIEW SWAP. Woohoo more Everto!

Manhandle somebody and trap them in a closet once and they seem to have a life-long grudge surrounding it. People needed to learn how to relax. ... love it

Aw, I liked that scene with Sirius and Grace. Even though he was really drunk, and maybe that's part of why he was sharing all that information about himself, but just the fact that he went to talk to her and she tried to be a good friend. I also think it was interesting the way you contrasted their vices - Sirius drinking firewhisky alone, and Grace thinking about her dependence on cigarettes. As well as Grace's very astute self-analysis about her dependence on things and her subsequent reasons for refusing firewhisky.

I hadn't even considered that Sirius might think Grace was interested in Regulus. I mean, she did shove him into a closet and then dress up for potions with him. But yeah, I don't think the knowledge that Grace's soul mate is Snape instead would make Sirius feel any better about it! :P

Asjdfkj the vampire! I had forgotten about it. I've said before and I'm sure I will say it again - you are so great at writing action scenes - your writing feels very alive. It also really gets the reader into Grace's mind as the only action that's written is what Grace notices and feels and does, so it's like seeing this battle through her eyes. It's cool.

Lol, Sirius being nearly killed by a vampire and then only mentioning that he's hungry. And then telling his friends how awesome it all was. *Eyeroll* But I'm glad that all made him feel better. Note to self: next time you're feeling down, don't go for the firewhisky - instead get into a fight with a vampire and then eat some Halloween candy. :P

Great chapter!!! ★ :D

Author's Response: YOUR EXCITEMENT IS MAKING ME EXCITED! :D

So, drunk Sirius is a little more open than sober Sirius, but that's okay, because I'm trying to make these two have a friendship (though sometimes it doesn't seem to work all-that-smoothly).

Haha, no, I don't think that discovering that Snape was her soul mate would make Sirius feel any better. :p

I really let that vampire thing go on for too long, but I really wanted to save it for the Halloween chapters! Yay! I'm glad that you enjoy the action scenes, as I enjoy writing them.

:D Sirius. What are you going to do with him? Right, do well to remember that! Haha

Thanks so much!

-Rumpel


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Review #15, by marauderfanMy (Fake) Wedding: Welcome to my Crappy Life

18th September 2014:
Hello! Saw your status on the forums and so yeah, now you're at 150! Congrats! :D

This is an entertaining opening chapter. Her family (well, her sister's family) sound like a riot! So maybe some things are really unfortunate about her love life, getting kicked out of her flat, a mysterious thing that happened (which I'm dying to know what it is!) etc. but at least her niece and nephew love her :P

And then the Weasleys come into the picture. I must say, I adore your characterization of Molly as such a go-getter and a party girl! It's unusual to read about Molly like that - but I think it's so fitting, since Percy was a go-getter himself, just more about careers and stuff, so it's natural that his daughter would be as headstrong as he is. I just love that Molly is so wild! :D

Hm, James with a potentially nonexistent girlfriend he's been dating for two years, haha. Seems a bit of a mystery there as well! This chapter gives lots of insight into Elle's current predicament and hints at other things but doesn't give it away, making me want to read on, and leaving me very curious what's going to happen next and how on earth the fake wedding fits in.

Excellent start to what looks like a great story so far!

Author's Response: Woo! Congrats on being the 150th reviewer! *hands over trophy* :)

I'm glad that you find it entertaining, I wanted Elle to still have a loving, happy family image (kind of) with her sister even though things with her Dad isn't quite as good as it should be.

Molly is my fourth favourite character to write because she's such a living-life-to-the-edge kind of person and it's such a contrast to Elle :)

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story :) And for leaving a lovely review!
~Aimee xxx


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Review #16, by marauderfanSix O'clock: Six O'clock

18th September 2014:
Wow, this is a really great piece. It shows, with a few rather anonymous characters, the constant stress and uneasiness in every day life during the first wizarding war. And I love that you chose to use original characters too, because it reminds the reader that it wasn't just the Order involved in the war, it was lots of people who are never mentioned in the books - people who were affected by everything going on, and the people in this story are a few of them.

I especially liked how it focused on one moment - someone waiting for someone else and watching the clock - and because of the war happening, the narrator doesn't know if the person is late because they just got caught at work late, or if something horrible happened, like it's been happening to so many other people who are too young for all this to be happening to them.

It's a really great piece and although not much happens, it's so full of suspense and emotion, which makes it a wonderful story even in a quick 541 words. Great work on this! :)

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Review #17, by marauderfanThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: An “Auf Wiedersehen” and a Wotter Invasion

18th September 2014:
Review Tag! :D

Haha, I love Annett's first moments on the platform at King's Cross, slyly teasing Teddy - as if he hasn't heard enough from James at this point! - and then giving the 'shared introvert nod' to Scorpius, that part made me laugh out loud. But anyway, I can see how she and Scorpius would take to each other right away as I always imagined Scorpius as somewhat of an introvert, and certainly Annett is uncomfortable with hordes of people around her as well.

Wow, it sounds like Merlin had pretty cool socks. Polka dots are rad.

What a highly stressful interaction that must have been for poor Annett, who is so used to minimal social contact, to be confronted with 17 shouting redheads who are all related to one another!

I've never seen a Sorting done quite in this manner before, how she didn't really care or know what it meant or even know which house she was in at first, and only went in the direction of the clapping! I have to say, for those few paragraphs where we didn't know, I was assuming Ravenclaw. But I could see her in Slytherin too. I like that she's friends with both Scorpius and Albus.

Is magic a genetic mutation in muggle-borns or is it inherited, hidden as a recessive trait and only appearing when two carriers produce an offspring? -- lol, can I just say... this is something I have wondered too! :P But anyway, I love the things she thinks about, and the ways you're integrating magic and science, particularly in the realm of Transfiguration. Of course Transfiguration would come so naturally to her, as she can see the underlying similarities between things she is transfiguring, the way the molecules go together and how they are composed of the same things. Her perspective of Hogwarts education in that last section was really interesting and I loved it!

The one thing that slightly confused me in this chapter was Annett's awe at Al's name - if she grew up with Muggles, Al's three names wouldn't really mean that much to her, would they?

Aside from that - great chapter! This is a very unique story and I love the spin you're putting on the magical world. :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

Thank you so much for this wonderful review.

It's quite fun to play with this 'friends but not really' thing she has with Scorpius.

I admit, I couldn't write a regular Sorting and yes, polka dots are incredibly rad.

There are so many questions I have regarding the Wizarding World and genes, too! I would love to discuss it with you if you are interested.

I should have clarified in the story. I'm sorry. Last chapter, Teddy gave her a summary of the "history" of the Wizarding World so that she would have some idea of what is going on.

Thank you so much for all your kind words. I really appreciate them! :D They make me smile. It means so much to me to hear that you've been enjoying this story did far.

Cheers,
Em


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Review #18, by marauderfanChances and Fate: A Chaper in Four Parts

16th September 2014:
Here for our swap! Wow, the description of this one totally caught my eye. AU with the Founders in present day? Whattt? Had to read it. :D

The premise of this is so silly, yet I really like how you wrote the characters and maintained their canon personalities in these totally different settings. Godric seems a bit full of himself, I can see Rowena's intelligence and vanity, Helga's free-spiritedness (and her grinning at birds made me laugh), and Salazar thinking all the people around him are idiots. So funny, but I can totally see them being those sort of people in the modern day :p

I love how they all became friends in this wacky, random way - Godric coming up with brilliant ideas while drunk, and then making friends over the phone while Helga was hitchhiking with Salazar. Ps, the idea that Salazar would get tricked into picking up a hitchhiker makes me laugh. I can see him being so grumpy about the whole thing XD

Basically, this was a really amusing little story and even though it's super AU, the personalities of the characters are really well done and adhere to their canon personalities (or at least how I imagine them to be), just without all the stuffy Middle Ages dialogue :p Great job - this was an enjoyable read! Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Thank you off that fantastic review! I'm so glad you liked it.
I really enjoyed writing this, so I love that you interpreted the characters so well. I'm glad they were in line with their personalities: I was a little worried about this since I had never written Founders before, and the characters were present day versions of themselves. I did love them, I'm glad you did too :)
Haha, thank you very much!
Lottie


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Review #19, by marauderfanOut of order: Bad Guy

16th September 2014:
Um, so... how have I never read any of your work before? This is the main thing that's floating through my head after reading this fic. Seriously, you're awesome. I've never read anything from the POV of Mundungus Fletcher before, and minor characters are my favourites to read about - especially those who aren't particularly likeable - and this fic did not disappoint!

Firstly I loved how you used simple, short sentences and common language and cut off half of the words, so it reads exactly as if Mundungus is telling the story aloud to someone, in his distinct Cockney accent. There's not much of a plot to the story either- which only reinforces the feeling that Mundungus is just ranting to whatever ear will listen to him about this horrible toad lady who ripped him off :p Mundungus, in his own eyes, is still the same crook we always saw in the books, but here there's a bit of backstory, and his rather cynical opinion of his whole life and the government and employment and stuff - even if he's not any more likeable at the end, he's a little more understandable.

I really enjoyed this fic! The style you wrote it in is really unique, as well as the choice of character. On the whole it's very honest and unapologetic, which makes it just so Mundungus, exactly as I would imagine him.

Just so you know, there was one section where it hopped out of past tense and into present - ("I take off at a sprint") though maybe this was intentional as Mundungus seems to be telling the story aloud and maybe he doesn't care about grammar :p but I just wanted to point it out in case it wasn't intentional.

Otherwise, this is a really solid fic! Nicely done on getting into the mind of Mundungus Fletcher, I bet that was kind of a weird POV to write and you did it so well! Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: That's what I was asking myself about you! I really appreciate you calling me awesome :) I think you'll find when you read my review for this swap that the feeling is mutual.

I may or may not have studied the speech patterns of Mundungus before starting to write this, so I'm glad that my embarrassing amount of research didn't go unnoticed. For the challenge I was supposed to flesh out a particularly uncharismatic character, but I was told, I didn't have to redeem them per se. Hence, you get an utterly unlikable, but understandable Dung Fletcher.

That tense error was *not* intentional and *was* very much a case of me not editing very thoroughly so that I could get this challenge entry in on time. Thanks for pointing that out, I'm going to stealthily edit that right out.

Thank you for all of your compliments, I just loved this review. Thanks for the swap!


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Review #20, by marauderfanKeep Calm and Carry On: Chapter Twenty-Five

15th September 2014:
Another fab chapter! Lisa's wedding was so entertaining, particularly her outward composure while running around and handing off drinks to Edie.

Fluff! And more fluff! Haha, honestly I loved it. For me it's such a struggle-fest to write anything fluffy, so I can appreciate your trouble with writing it - and it all worked out well, and even if you felt awkward writing it, it doesn't show. Congrats on the fluffiest fluffy fluff. :D

I like that you're addressing the friend zone too. Poor Dean. I do feel really badly for him, but it's not Edie's fault by any means. I think it's a really realistic view of that sort of friendship too, because in real life that's a pretty confusing situation and I think you captured that. It's awkward, and maybe it will get worse before it gets better, but I hope that someday in the future they can be good friends again, because I loved reading about Edie, Dean, and Seamus, the dream team of friends back in the beginning.

Awesome work on this chapter! ♥

Author's Response: Hey there! Ohh, Lisa is such a dear. I love her. I kind of based her off a former co-worker of mine, who got married and was very nonchalant about the whole thing (she didn't even really "walk down the aisle" so much as stumble down a hillside in a dress without music.) Plus it's more fun for the groom to be freaking out... ;)

FLUFF SO MUCH FLUFF YES. I'm right there with you. It's a struggle-fest to write a snuggle-fest (should we maybe get this printed on coffee mugs/tee shirts?) I'm glad that you liked it though. Honestly I'll probably go back through and tone down on the soppy-ness (especially at the beginning... ugh) but I'll try to stay strong and keep most of it in there!

I really do feel bad for Dean too! He's such a great character in the books, and has always been a favorite of mine. I kind of feel bad for writing him this way. Possessive!Dean is more of something we see in the movies, if my memory serves me correctly, when he's dating Ginny. But I'm definitely building off of that--Dean and Edie just wouldn't work because he's too possessive. Both of them are headstrong, which could potentially work *ahem Oliver ahem.* But it's the way that Dean uses his stubbornness, by trying to control somebody, that just wouldn't work with our friend Edie.

Thank you so much for this review, lovely! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond. I just moved across the country and almost have everything unpacked and ~*~internet~*~ so soon there will be updates! AHHH plus I completely re-wrote the ending and am so much more in love with it and can't wait to get there now.



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Review #21, by marauderfanYear Five: Cleaner, More Brilliant

15th September 2014:
Wow, I can't believe it's the end! This was such a genuinely wonderful story, and I'm so impressed with your storytelling abilities. Even with not much of a plot to work with (life at Hogwarts without all the Voldemort stuff), you created such a rich, engaging story. I loved your attention to details, original ideas, the additional depth to the established canon, and ultimately the realness of your characters. They were all so dynamic, with different flaws, passions, ideas, strengths, and their friendships both as a group of four and individually one-on-one were so realistic and sensitively written.You handled some pretty dark topics in there as well and did it with a lot of tact, and I'm impressed how you handled those. I really can't say enough how much I loved your characters and after following their stories for these 22 chapters I feel like they're old friends of mine, as you feel about people you grew up with, or at least were around to see them change.

And even in the end, things aren't perfect for anyone. Some things still suck, and things are still moving forward. But it's better than it was before, and hey - that's as real as it gets. Great ending.

This review wouldn't be complete if I didn't gush about your writing style. You truly have a gift - your wielding of words and subtle details and especially satire, is just fantastic. You put a lot of planning and thought into this story and it shows - there are no plot holes or things that don't make sense -everything read just like I was seeing it happen in real life. I love the narrative voice you used in his story. Also, I (as well as like 37487 other people) nominated you for the best new author Dobby Award, just so you know. Your writing is awesome! ;)

I'm so, so glad you happened to click on my review thread months ago and dropped a request, because ever since then I've been glued to this story like that really sticky glue you use to fix things when duct tape doesn't work. And now... there's no more story so I'm going to stalk your author page to pass the time until you write a sequel, or another novel, or really anything - if you wrote about a day in the life of Francis the Flobberworm, I'd still read it.

Bravo!

xo,
Kristin

Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH! *sobs*

I don't even know what to say in my last author response of this story! Thank you so much for sticking with this story, and basically coming on this crazy journey with me! You were my first regular reviewer, and your encouragement is the real reason I was able to push through and get this all up!

AND JUST AGJKVFYWMBASJGW THE DOBBY NOMINATIONS. I genuinely CAN'T. I am so overwhelmed with joy and shock!

This was my first ever foray into writing fiction of any kind, and the positive reaction to Year Five has been (and I'm not exaggerating) LIFE CHANGING. I'm taking a creative writing class now, and have committed to learning more and continuing to write. I had no idea whether I'd be any good, and I've learned just a crazy amount!

Seriously, reading your reviews has taught me SO MUCH, and means more to me than I have words to explain!

And what you said about feeling like you know these characters is kind of the most flattering thing ever. Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

Just overall, everything about writing this has been such an amazing experience, and it meant sososoSO MUCH to me that you read and reviewed this story!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS THE END! (for now)
XOXOXOXOXO
-Roisin


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Review #22, by marauderfanBonds of Blood : Brothers

5th September 2014:
Here for our review swap! Sorry I'm the slowest reviewer on the planet :p

This was so dark and I love the way you explored the mind of a lesser known Death Eater, particularly his struggles with loyalty. The way he injured his brother and left him to die was really awful, and even for a few moments Thorfinn seemed to think so as well, but he still went ahead and did it.

Most interesting of all, I think, is the way his loyalty to Voldemort never wavers, he never doubts that what he's doing is the 'right' thing to do, and in his mind Egil is clearly on the wrong side - but he loves him, and regrets that he has to take these actions. It's so twisted, in areally sad way - he laments that he has to harm his brother, but he also wants to do it.

I also like the way you framed it going back and forth between the flashbacks and Thorfinn's haunting memory as he orders his house elf around and drinks firewhisky and wants to be left alone and not having Selwynn interject with his opinions. What an interesting note it ends on, as well - how this horrible memory still follows him, but in a way he is proud because he showed that his loyalty to Voldemort was above his loyalty to his family, as he knows Voldemort would be pleased by that. The way you showed the two sides of his mind in conflict was really great.

Nice work on this one-shot! Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Hey thank you for the swap! Thank you Thorfinn is my favorite Death Eater, I have a lot of head canon surrounding him, it is sad Egil after all is still his younger brother no matter what side f the war he's on.

Thank you again for the swap :)


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Review #23, by marauderfanThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: The Peculiar Childhood: A Prologue

5th September 2014:
Ooh, from the first line, I'm intrigued. As a scientist myself I always find it exciting when science appears in FF!

Annett's narration is so unique. The combination of her age and upbringing lead to these naively observed statements that she thinks are normal, but to the average person who's not a reclusive science genius, they sound absurd and I love it. This is my favourite: a hominid banker whose phylogenetic history I am still pondering -- I thought it was hilarious, because I get the feeling she doesn't find her observations to be unusual in any way. It's cute :D though she'll have quite a surprise when she gets to Hogwarts!

It does make me wonder a little, though. At one point it is mentioned that she has a very critical mind and won't believe anything at face value, which is of course a product of years of science education, but to me it seemed like ten years old was a bit young for that kind of astuteness. Young kids often do take things at face value, until they learn how to analyse information better, and I guess I was just a little surprised that she's already reached that point by ten years old. But then again she's had scientific scepticism drilled into her studies since she was born, so hey its possible! :p

Anyway, I think you've done well at balancing Annett's character. She's a super brilliant child prodigy at science, but also is pretty socially awkward and fears that social stress. I'm eager to see how she changes and how she interacts with people at school!

I really liked how supportive Annett's parents are and how they encouraged her to experiment and learn. I am super excited to see how they react to Annett doing magic! Especially as it's so contrary to science in a lot of ways so I look forward to seeing how Annett's new world collides with theirs.

Loved the scene with Teddy teaching her about magic - and of course he would conjure lupine flowers! :D I bet he's done that a few times before but Annett is probably the first to appreciate it like that.

This was a great opening chapter! I've never seen any fanfic quite like this before, so major props for originality. Awesome work so far and thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for the review swap. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! :D

You're a scientist!? That's amazing! :D Oh how I would just love to hear more about that. I have massive respect for scientists.

I admire the way you are able to break down Annett how I built her up.

I've written her parents to be there when she needs them, but otherwise, they let her explore magic on her own. Magic is her area of study while engineering is Wolfgang's and biology is Emilie's.

Annett explores magic and science in the next chapter which also includes her first time at Hogwarts. So if you're curious to see how that all happens. . . ;)

I'm hoping, from your perspective, that it sounds at least quite reasonable. I'm only still studying science after all. :)

Once more, thank you! I really appreciate your insight.

Cheers.


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Review #24, by marauderfanYear Five: After

5th September 2014:
Omg, the line about he pin that used to say --- Slytherin and now only says --- ... how perfect, in a really dark way. Of course it says that.

Frank Bryce! Ahh, how did I not make that connection before now?! Mind blown. But at the same time I really shouldn't be surprised because you have a tendency to use surnames from the books. Also, seeing Frank's story in this light is so sad, because as the reader we know he was innocent, but everyone thouht he was guilty. :( Just so you know for editing purposes, there was a typo in the section where Eddie was talking about Frank, it said "you're" instead of "your". Otherwise it was flawless ;)

I also love that you included that conversation between McGonagall and Dumbledore. Obviously Dumbledore knew what was going on, and I appreciated that you (through McGonagall) pointed out the obvious flaws in that plan.

"That one,” Tristan pointed out the youngest Weasley. “Played some chess. And that one,” he indicated to a manic little witch with a lot of hair, “did something clever with potions. The rest has a lot to do with some special rock.” -- Hahaha! You are too good at this. Best summary ever.

Rabastan - I knew that's what the R was! One of many guesses, I think, but it was in there somewhere :p Anyway, I just loved thst scene when Tristan finally tells his friends the truth and they all hug him. That was a long time coming. Aw

Wow, this whole chapter was full of catharsis and letting go of problems onto other people's helping shoulders, and it was nice to see Emily and Isobel talk things out. Even if Isobel didn't voice all of her concerns, and she'll probably still have some latent self esteem issues, but I think that conversation was a huge turning point for her - for both of them, really.

Definitely got chills while reading that scene in Azkaban. It was so dark and terrifying yet illuminating, and I think one of my favourite scenes in the story thus far. I'm glad Tristan visited his real father -sure it was by no means a pleasant experience, but it gave him some much-needed perspective, and confront his angst I suppose, and to see that he is not his father. When he came back and was actually HAPPY it was just so great, I'm so relieved things are taking an upward turn for him.

Stories have meaning; they are real whether or not they are true. -- love it. You are a fantastic author and I love these little nuggets of wisdom you drop sometimes as an endnote, or in the story itself. Amazing chapter and I can't believe we're so close to the end! I hope you have a sequel in mind or at least another novel ;)

Author's Response: Hello!

Ahh! Thank you! The pin was one of my favorite parts too!

Heeheehee about Frank Bryce :) I dropped a few hints when Isobel visited Tristan. I know people probably figured out the big "R" reveal ages ago (man, when I first wrote this, I had NO IDEA everyone would be up on canon as much as me). I'm glad there was at least one "AHA" moment! But, like I mentioned on my MTA, I'm sort of OK with people figuring out about "R", since it was originally revealed in Chapter 10 (and then mostly the story was the same from there, just a few more specific references).

Yee--I'm so glad you liked the McGonnagall and Dumbledore conversation! A lot of people (less on this site, but elsewhere in the world) have pointed out the futility of a lot of Harry's quests (if he'd just left things alone, the stone woulda been fine). BUT a careful reader knows that Dumbledore really did set it all up to kind of train Harry. Which does, I think, make a big argument for Dumbledore's Machiavellian-ness--which is fine by me.

Hah--this story is, I realize, VERY DEFENSIVE of the Potter story! (It's sort of like, NUH UH THAT'S NOT A PLOT HOLE!)

"Catharsis" is such a great way to describe this chapter! I'm so stoked it came off like that, and that it worked!

!Azkaban! That scene ALMOST didn't make it into the story--that it's your favorite makes me feel SO RELIEVED that I made the right call! I felt really challenged to write Azkaban well, and was worried I wouldn't do it dark/terrifying/chilling justice. It was just such a big scene, and I would rather just cut it then not get it right. So YAY I'm so glad that what I tried to do worked out!

Man--as for a sequel, there are SO MANY options, and I just DON'T KNOW which one to do! I will probably ask people what they think after the story is all up.

Anyway, it's now time to post the last chapter and cry my eyes out! I can't believe it's almost over!

THANK YOU SO MUCH! That you've read and reviewed this whole thing means the world to me!

xoxo
Roisin


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Review #25, by marauderfanKill Your Darlings: Curse

4th September 2014:
Ugh, Walburga is terrible, and that whole scene was incredibly chiling. I just.. ugh. Can't anything ever be easy for this couple?! They've been through so much already, and deserve some happiness!
I hope they find a way around that curse. I mean, I know they get married eventually, but I didn't imagine it was because they HAD to. Man, that is the worst. I can't blame Andromeda for being freaked out by marriage, but... well, at least they're being honest with each other now, so maybe things will get easier. I hope. Please? :p Great chapter though!

Author's Response: Walburga is an awful human being. :( I'm glad that the scene was chilling, though! Not in a sadistic way, of course, but just that it accomplished what I set out to accomplish.

Tedromeda haven't had an easy road, and it's certainly not getting easier, is it? But of course they will prevail in the end, however long it takes to get to that end! And YES. Honesty is key, and they've got that going for them at least. There's hope for them yet.

Thanks so much for the review!


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