Reading Reviews From Member: marauderfan
1,442 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfanWrong number: First call

2nd March 2018:
Review Tag! (This is Stella Blue from HPFT).

Ok, so I read the prequel to this not long ago, and decided I had to check this out!

What's especially awesome is that, having already read what happens in the prequel, I know that the wrong number dialing is intentional, and that makes it extra amusing because James doesn't know this. It's also funny because if it was actually a wrong number dial, then she would probably have noticed that the voice she's talking to isn't Vic's, haha. Otherwise, she played it really well and convincing! I can't decide whether she's clever or manipulative. Both, maybe. Whatever it is, it's hilarious. XD

Also James is so lucky - I wish I could get wrong number calls that were this interesting. The only times I've gotten wrong number calls it's something like "Am I speaking with ___? No? Oh sorry bye." And I love how he just goes along with it for a while solely because he's bored, and listens to her rant. Ahahaha it's great.

This is such a fun first chapter and sets the tone for what I'm sure will be a fantastic story :D Loved it!

Author's Response: Hello!! I'm so glad you liked it but I have to burst the bubble: liz is simply THAT clueless and actually gets the number wrong and most of the time she doesn't actually listen to people but she mostly rants by herself, hence the fact that she doesn't recognise James' voice.
I probably brought you on this road by ending the prequel with 'wrong number', but that was mostly for those who had read this first story and wasn't thought by liz - also because she doesn't interact with James at the party, she sees Fred, so that would be pretty strange of her ahaha
anyway, I'm really really glad and thanks for reviewing!!

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Review #2, by marauderfanThe Bro Code: Article Ninety

23rd January 2018:
Hi! This is Stella Blue from HPFT with your review :)

Bahahaha, I wondered when I saw the title if this was a reference to HIMYM. I'm really curious to see where you go with this because I feel like there are probably a lot of weird articles in this code, just knowing what Barney would come up with :P

Okay! So, we begin. I like the detail that the Potter family makes a point to not badmouth people to the press. Considering that Harry had that smear campaign against him in the Daily Prophet during OotP (and had to see rubbish published about Hermione in GoF) I can see how he'd be sensitive to that sort of thing and pass it onto his children who are also in the limelight.

Random musings: If James's Quidditch career ever takes a bad turn, he can fall back on acting. That was quite a performance for Nina, about the loneliness of his sad soul. XD I'm not sure why he did it, apart from maybe to just mess with her and because he's bored of the interview, and maybe he thinks it'll send more single ladies running after him? Lol

Omg I love the fact that James likes Celestina Warbeck. Why doesn't he like the Holyhead Harpies though?! His mum played for them, he probably grew up going to their games! Have some appreciation, James. XD

To address the areas of concern you mentioned: first, the pacing. Overall, it's very good. There were no scenes/paragraphs that seemed too rushed, and nothing that dragged on too long. If I were to have any critique about pacing, it would be the transition between the interview and the club scene. Nothing specifically is wrong with it, it just kind of feels like a very abrupt switching tracks. I don't know how much time passed, but I assume like two or three days? One thing that I think might make the transition smoother is to relate the scenes a little more. For example, while James is bored during his interview, maybe he daydreams for a second about his awesome plans to go to the club with Fred (two days/ a week) from now.

Humour: there are some very entertaining things sprinkled through here, like the fact that James is a terrible dancer despite his Quidditch agility, his aforementioned love of Celestina Warbeck, the fact that Frank brought study flashcards to a club. (That's dedication, man.) And the fact that Skye implies James is obnoxious about having money. :P But mostly I think a lot of the humour is just in the story concept itself, and I'm excited to see what you do with it. :D

Your dialogue is great. In terms of characterization the only person I can properly comment on is James, as we've seen the most of him so far. And he's kind of like... what I'd expect from your average celebrity Quidditch player, but I love that you gave him a couple of unique quirks too that are at odds with how his personality is perceived. (i.e. the Celestina Warbeck thing). Because real people are like this, everyone has these odd idiosyncrasies and I love when people include stuff like that in fics.

I'm really interested in seeing more of Skye - we don't know much about her yet, but there were a couple great moments that showed a bit of insight into her personality, such as when she gives some money to the homeless man and when she teases James about being obnoxious. I'm curious if she and/or Gemma will show up again, given that James said earlier that he likes the single life and doesn't want a relationship. Also, I like the way you showed without directly stating how close Gemma and Skye are - you can tell they've been BFFs for ages.

Other things - There are some punctuation/grammar issues here and there, which could maybe be caught with another read-through - or if it helps to have fresh eyes looking just for that sort of thing, you can request a beta on the forums and they are super helpful.

Last but not least, I just wanted to point out that the chapter title should read "Ninety", not "Nintey" ;)

Now that I've rambled your ear off :P Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter! I think you did a great job, particularly with James' characterisation, and I have a feeling it's going to be a fun fic :)

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Review #3, by marauderfanRight party: Right party

17th January 2018:
Hiya! This is Stella Blue from HPFT with your review!

Right from the beginning I get a pretty strong sense of who your characters are, and enough about Elizabeth's recent history to understand the context, but just enough is left unsaid that it makes me want to read on to find out! You've dropped hints about her past relationship with Louis and about her general associations with the Weasley-Potter family, but the specifics aren't listed, and they're not needed here. Essentially, I really admire how you've included just the perfect amount of information - not too much, not too little. That can be hard to do. Also, I like the fact that you have an Italian character, and the fact that he uses Italian phrases just makes it feel that much more authentic as I know you yourself are Italian.

You mentioned English rules/phrases in your request so most of this review will focus on that, although overall, I must say that everything looks pretty polished. For it not being your first language, you write in English remarkably well!! I don't think I would have guessed that you aren't a native speaker, if I hadn't already known.

So here we go:

Sometimes Elizabeth felt truly sorry that he was gay -- Here, I don't know if 'sorry' is the correct word. It can be interpreted a number of ways, and I don't think you're trying to say that she feels sorry for him for being gay, but that's one way it can be read. What I think you're trying to say here (correct me if I'm wrong) is that she's sad she doesn't have a chance with him because he's gay, in which case you could say something like: "Sometimes Elizabeth lamented the fact that her good-looking best friend was uninterested in women."

It took forty-five minutes for Vic to disappear, for Elizabeth's head to start pounding from the cheesy commercial pop music playing, and for her feet to scream in pain -- I changed a couple of things about this sentence for clarity (adding Elizabeth's name when the subject of the sentence changes, adding the word "for" to keep the format of the list)

know everyone, know no one -- I'm not sure what this phrase adds to the sentence. I think you can leave it out and just end the sentence with "a larger radius of influence."

trying not to mop. -- probably meant to say "mope"... unless she has a tendency to take up janitorial duties when she's drunk XD

Vic shook his head, waiving his hand next to his ear -- That should say "waving". (Waiving with an I means to lift rules/fees.)

Vic snorted and started walking away “Liar.” -- I'm just using this line as an example, but there are quite a few lines in this format. In general, any sentence fragments happening before dialogue should be separated by a full stop or a comma. In this case, a full stop, because it's a complete sentence happening before Vic talks. Like so: Vic storted and started walking away. "Liar."

she took a decision -- she made a decision

That's all. And these are all tiny fixes - honestly it reads through very well and there was no point when I was confused about any phrasing. It's great.

If you don't mind some CC about a different topic, one thing to be wary of is making Vic into a stereotype. He's verging on the archetypal Sassy Gay Best Friend right now, and all the traits that we've been introduced to about him support this: the fashion consciousness, neatness, sassy/dramatic comments. Certainly some gay men do have a few of these qualities, but take care to not exaggerate or define Vic only by his sexual orientation. If you still want him to have all of these traits, then try to make him more three-dimensional by focusing on some other aspects of his personality as well so he is well-rounded and more than just a Gay Stereotype. For example: maybe he also loves Tolstoy novels and aspires to be able to read them in the original Russian. Maybe he's really into kayaking. Or Gobstones. Or Quidditch league stats. Maybe he has a wall calendar with pictures of goats in trees that he thinks is hilarious. (this is totes a real thing though, google "goats in trees" /tangent) Just something so that he isn't just made up of exaggerated traits that define gay stereotypes.

I hope this review isn't too harsh (or too long haha)! I really did enjoy the chapter, and am intrigued about the story that follows it. I hope this is a helpful review! Feel free to PM me if you have any follow-up questions! Thanks for requesting. Great writing. ♥

Author's Response: Hello dear, I'm finally here!
First of all, thank you for your lovely review - I really appreciated the effort you put into it!
I'm so glad the story doesn't come across as TOO synthetic - my Italian professor kind of drilled into us students the idea that if you can write a sentence in ten or three words, you should do it in two - so I always wonder if for the sake of it I may omit important stuff.
And my, how flattered I am by the fact that my writing could pass for native!!
Now, for the grammar errors, thank you so so much for pointing them out - I'll fix them as soon as I finish my exam and I'll review also my other stories.
Yes, the part in which elizabeth is 'sorry' was exactly meant as lamenting Vic's interest in men instead of women - but I agree that it sounds as she is sorry in general about him being gay, which was not at all my intention so thank you for that!!
And finally, i LOVED that you pointed out the subconscious stereotyping I was doing about Vic - I swear I read the entire thing after your review and I was like, 'omg this sounds so bad'! Vic is way too bidimensional - only thing in my defence, the 'fashion' part comes from his Italian side, and he's a bit spoiled because his parents are rich (Side note: the surname is invented but italian family names that have a lowercase d like 'de' instead of 'De' usually mean that the family is noble, so there's that). Also, I made the fact that Liz's fashions sense is inexistent a common feature noticed by other characters, even though in this story we don't see it.
But anyway, I will review his characterisation thoroughly!
Your review was so instructive and interesting, I am so thankful! I may pop into you pms in the future about a couple of grammar questions I have, but until then,
much much love :)
Elena xx

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Review #4, by marauderfanAll the truth about Jimmy Portman: A job

17th January 2018:
Chiara, you rebel, not using the request form. It's amazing that I even put up with you :P :P :P (KIDDING. YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU ♥)

Marauders reminiscing about silly childhood pranks. UGH this makes me so sad though because I wish they could have had the time for all this reminiscing. IT'S NOT FAIIIRRR. (That's why I'm so glad that your story exists because in this timeline they do have that chance.)

OOH PETER MESSED UP BIG TIME. And it took .2 seconds for James to put all the pieces together. I'm not surprised. James is a smart guy, and Peter's been hovering on the edge of recognition for a while. THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET DRAMATIC AND I CAN'T WAIT

OMG HAHAHAHAHA CHIARA HOW COULD YOU?! I can't believe it was all a dream XD You had me! I was fooled!

What disturbed him was the idea that his once friends hated him so much -- Awww. I know Peter has done some pretty reprehensible things but this is such a human, real fear and I can't help but feel for him here.

I actually said "Aww" out loud when Sirius reacted to Peter's tale about his wizarding games shop. Considering Peter was always the forgotten one who looked up to his friends but could be often ignored by them, it was just so sweet to see Sirius saying Peter was his hero. I mean, he doesn't know it's Peter, but, just, that gave me a lot of feels. Peter would be so proud, if he weren't hiding and pretending to be someone else...

OMG PETER I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU ASKING REMUS TO WORK FOR YOU. I love that he wants to give Remus a job, and help his friend get employment, but then there's the issue of Peter's still being dishonest about who he is. And like... Peter would be Remus' boss which is kinda inconvenient should any old feelings return. I have a lot of feelings about him working there and I haven't figured them out yet, but mostly excitement. Because the drama is just that much more heightened, muahhahaha.

I loved this chapter! Thanks for the request, I'm always happy to return to this story ♥

Author's Response: Yes, I know, I'm so bad, sorry... ;) (I love you too!!!)

Real or not, it is so sad that they never got that chance in canon... :( But here they are still alive and still together, and that's what matters, right?

Ahahah! I'm sort of proud that I fooled you! :P If that was real it would be a lot of drama... Poor Peter...

Peter did do some pretty bad things, but I'm glad you could feel for him there... he really only wants his friends to love him, poor guy...

I love that you mentioned that about Sirius! I didn't even think about it... I think a part of Peter definitely did feel proud, even if Sirius didn't know who he was.

It was a bit foolish of him to ask Remus to work for him, for all the reasons you mentioned. I can promise you that a lot of drama will come from this, but you'll have to keep reading... :P

Thank you so much for the lovely review, you are wonderful! *hug*


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Review #5, by marauderfanAll the truth about Jimmy Portman: A Rosier's perspective

17th January 2018:
Grabbe and Goyle are the. worst.

I like that you show a softer side to Millicent. While she's not perfect, she at least does make the effort to follow Samantha out, and tells off Crabbe and Goyle for being cruel. Poor Samantha though :(

The scene when Samantha gets onto Neville's carriage and Neville and Jimmy are both unkind to her was a really powerful scene, and I think you wrote it so well. It seemed very realistic that her first reaction to Hermione would be the recoiling, horrified reaction she had, because that's how she's been brought up, but I so appreciated that she realized the only person to show her any kindness had been the Muggle-born, and everyone who had been rude or distrustful were purebloods, and that's what makes her question how she's been brought up. It was just such a well written scene with so many layers.

I love that Hermione is the one who really connects with Samantha and encourages the boys to be nice to her. After all, Hermione also went through a phase of having no friends.

Glad to see Jimmy Portman is equally as talented in potions as Harry Potter. :P

Snape is the worst. Really? Thirty points taken away and a detention for an extra teaspoon of flobberworm mucus? I dont know why they ever allowed him to teach eleven year olds.

I love that Samantha regularly goes to have tea with Hagrid, because she found they had something in common. It's refreshing that she's so open minded, even though she grew up in a society that taught her discriminatory ideas about Muggleborns. But she does seem to be growing out of that - I absolutely love the friendship that's blossoming between her and Hermione.

This was such a great chapter and I loved seeing things from Samantha Rosier's POV!

Author's Response: Yes, Crabbe and Goyle are really the worst.

I wanted to give Sam an ally in her house and Millicent seemed the right person. I'm glad you liked to see a softer side to her. She is a good friend to Samantha, or at least she tries to be, but of course she can't be bothered to "play nursemaid" to her (that's how Centy sees it, anyway...)

Glad you liked the scene with Sam following Neville and all the different reactions and how Hermione's kindness makes Sam question some of her beliefs. I've always thought that prejudices come primarily from ignorance and that if we all made the effort to get to know the things/people we are prejudiced about then maybe we would see things in a different light. But, yeah, I'm digressing here... Glad you liked the two girls bonding, anyway :)

Ahahah! Yeah, Jimmy is just as talented as Harry in Potions! :P (how are they even Lily's son, someone would wonder?)

Snape is Snape... and he hates Jimmy... but yeah, he is horrible...

Glad you like the idea of Samantha's friendship with Hagrid. And with Hermione. It was fun to see things from her eyes for a bit. :)

Thank you for another wonderful review! You are the best! :)

Snowball hug,


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Review #6, by marauderfanAll the truth about Jimmy Portman: Stopping with the guesswork.

17th January 2018:
Hi Chiara! ♥

There are so many plot threads going on in this story, so many subplots, I love how you've worked all these layers together. It's great. So here we're back to Jimmy and his friends pulling at threads and trying to solve a mystery. Except in addition to the Voldemort/Gringotts robbery mystery, there's also the mystery of Peter Pettigrew.

I love how in this chapter Jimmy is so defensive of his father. I think it says a lot for the strength of his relationship to his father, because although Jimmy is obviously very upset with Peter and suspects he's lying about something big, he still defends him because he knows him to be a good person. it's like, he's allowed to be critical of his father but anyone else doing so makes him suspicious haha.

Neville and Hermione both raise very good points though - seeing all these strange things happening and wondering if there is a connection, and I think it's very smart of Hermione to not rule anything out. Poor Jimmy thinking she was taking sides - but it seemed very appropriate for an eleven year old's reaction, to assume that because his friends don't agree with him that they are taking sides against him.

But I think Ron also has a good point at the end. Neville's and Hermione's theories are very astute, but there's just so much they don't know, and theorizing until the world ends based on very scant evidence and a lot of guesswork isn't really going to benefit them. Of course, I know it won't be too long before they go poking their noses in again because they're all just too curious, but as Ron says, there are people whose job it is to solve all of this stuff.

I'm curious to see what conclusions the kids come up with (because we all know they won't stay out of it :P ) and how it affects them, because something tells me they may not all be on the same 'side' - Jimmy understandably has some bias. This was another great chapter!

Author's Response: Hi, Kristin! :)

Yeah, there are a lot of plot threads... and I really struggle to keep up with all of them, to be honest... so it's good to know that you think I'm doing a good job working them together :)

Jimmy and Peter are very close and love each other a lot. And while all the lies are sort of pulling them apart, Jimmy still needs to believe that his father is a good person. I guess it's quite natural, isn't it? We can be critical of the people we love, but we get angry when someone else accuses them... especially for children, I think it's a very normal reaction.

Neville and Hermione are making some good points and, yes, it is very smart to consider every possibility. Poor Jimmy does feel betrayed by them in a way, but like you say, that's a normal child reaction, too.

And yes, Ron is quite right too. They have very little evidence, and there's not much they can do anyway, while there are adults who are working on solving these mysteries and are qualified to do so. But yeah, that's not going to stop the kids from trying to discover things on their own. :P

Thank you for another great review! You've really been spoiling me this month! Thank you so much, my dear!

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Review #7, by marauderfanAll the truth about Jimmy Portman: An unexpected guest

17th January 2018:
Ugh, Peter. I can't believe he still didn't talk with Jimmy. He had time for it, and now he can't until the summer. It's annoying, although unsurprising with how you've consistently written Peter. Peter won't talk until he absolutely has to and there's no way around it, becuase that's who he is. So as much as it irritates me, it's very consistent characterisation so good on you for that :P

Omg and then Peter literally transforms into a rat instead of explaining anything to Remus. I was so excited at first when I read that Remus had come by because I thought there would be some sort of "what are you doing here?" and some truth would come out but of COURSE Peter had to take the easy way out!

It was really sweet that Remus got to spend an afternoon sharing stories about his parents with his mum's closest friend. I think he really needed that, and it's just a good way of bringing back wonderful memories about them and sharing that with someone who also cared about them - it makes their loss just a tiny bit easier to bear, I'd think.

I like that Peter's mum calls him an ill-mannered snoop, haha. (It's true, he is.) but yeah, the fact that Mary knows the truth about Peter may end up raising some questions later, given that she's still covering for him, and how long is she going to put up with that? then again, I think she's kind of overly patient with Peter because she hasn't seen him for so long and now she's just got him back, in a way. Anyway, I think that'll be interesting later.

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Peter will avoid any confrontation untill he just can't escape it. Like you say, that's just the person he is. Poor Jimmy, he's going to suffer a lot for that... and yes, Peter had to escape Remus too... but he won't be able to do so forever, that I can tell you...

I'm glad you loved Mary and Remus' scene. He needed that. Bringing back memories with someone who was close to them definitely helps, glad you found it sweet.

Ahahah! Peter is an ill-mannered snoop! :P Mary has always been very protective of Peter and she's suffered a lot from his absence... she's going to do anything to keep him safe, as much as she despises what he's done. At least, I think. She's just happy to have him back.

Thank you for another great review! Love you!

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Review #8, by marauderfanAll the truth about Jimmy Portman: In death of Silvia Lupin

17th January 2018:
Copying some of my HPFT reviews over here as well so you have them everywhere!

How did Fred and George get away with an entire case of butterbeer? :P As third-years? Haha. Always the enterprising sort I guess.

Hmm. It doesn't surprise me that Remus has caught on that there was something going on there. After all, Jimmy is eleven and is probably not as subtle as he thinks he is. And given that Remus is a very intelligent person who also has a history of having people try to fish a secret out of him, it makes sense that he's figured out something is weird about the situation.

I feel so bad for Remus though, finding out that his Mum only has three weeks left. Can you let Remus have an easy time of things for once? I feel like he never can catch a break. Even in an AU where his friends are still alive. Poor guy :(

:( Aw, Chiara, the end of this chapter is so heartbreaking. I was so, so glad that Mary was able to talk to Silvia before she died though, and that they were able to mend their friendship. Mary would never have bene able to forgive herself if she hadn't gone and it was too late.. So yeah, it was bittersweet. While it was very sad that she died, I'm really glad they talked and even joked around beforehand.

And once again I feel so terrible for Remus as he wasn't able to be there when she died. :( That's the hardest thing, and I hope he doesn't blame himself for it (who am I kidding? Remus blames himself for everhthing he can think of... but I still hope he doesn't) At least he knows that she had a friend there with her when she died, maybe that will give him some peace.

This chapter was so sad :( but it was very well written and I think you did a wonderful job with Silvia's death scene.


Author's Response: Kristin, my love! I'm finally here to reply to these reviews, sorry it took me so long...

Fred and George can do anything, didn't you know? :P

Yeah, Remus would be the one who noticed that something was weird, given his experiences and his reasoning skills... erm... I wish Remus could have a bit of respite too but for some reason I'm unable to write that for him... I'm sorry... I do feel bad for him too... :(

Mary and Silvia needed to meet one last time, Mary would definitely never forgive herself otherwise. I'm glad you liked to see them together, even if it was sad.

Yes, poor Remus... (like you might have guessed, there is a bit of my own experience in this chapter...) Remus blames himself for everything he can think of... that's just Remus' definition! Kristin, I adore you (I think I haven't told you in some time...) I'm quite sure knowing that she wasn't alone would give him some peace, though.

Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #9, by marauderfanChai, Dancing, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Dancing, and a Surprise

10th December 2017:
well maybe you have an idea considering i just swarmed in here with capslock but I AM EXCITED

I absolutely adored this, and it's as magnificent as the rest of the series. This is everything I want from a fluff story. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, your writing of Neville and Hannah is my favourite I've seen anywhere, and the rich detail you put into each of these stories just makes it feel so alive. And, of course, after reading this I am once again very hungry. That gujia they were making sounded delicious. I love that Neville is catching on by this point and has learnt enough from Hannah that he knows what else to get out when he sees that fry pan, haha.

I also love that you chose to set this during Diwali, and Hannah's enthusiasm for this time of year is just infectious! I loved the scene with her dancing in the kitchen and Neville literally just falling in love with her right there. Like you can actually see the hearts in his eyes. I can't say I blame him. I love these two almost as much as they love each other.

Their flirty banter is as fun to read as always. Omg, is it possible for anything to be cuter than this? And then they whisper I love you to each other's backs. Aaaah!

Gryffindork. Ahahaha.

So yeah, I loved this, and I wish I had some of the food they made because it sounds amazing, and this story is amazing, and you are amazing. Thank you for writing another one of these, it totally made my day!

Author's Response: Hahaha! I cannot believe how excited people are for this series! I am blushing right now.

I was worried that this one was a bit too fluffy. I love fluff, myself - the fluffier, the better. But there's usually something a little more serious in each story. In this one, I just wanted to celebrate the holiday spirit! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D And I am always exceptionally pleased with myself for making people hungry! My cooking skills are average, but I'm glad I make up for it in my writing :P

Gosh, I really loved writing that dancing scene. I've always written Hannah as being quite serious, with Neville being more of the sillier foil. But Diwali is the perfect excuse to dance around in your fancy lehenga to a bangin' Bollywood song, sometime past midnight. How could Neville resist, really? Heart eyes everywhere!

It took me a while to figure out how to get them to say "I love you" to each other without actually saying it. But I love writing these two dorks being dorks. I've been saving that Gryffindork for a while, now. I am excited to use it in other stories, too!

Thanks so much for this super wonderful review! Replying to it has brightened up my day significantly :)

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Review #10, by marauderfanThe Next Great Adventure: Open At The Close

9th December 2017:
Yay I didn't realize there had been an update on this (ages ago) and I'm excited to see it!

This was a really powerful chapter and I honestly loved it. I find it easy to believe that Snape would be stuck there forever unable to get out because he can't let go of Lily, and most of all because he can't forgive himself for what happened to her. After all, he pined over her while she was alive and then like 16 more years pining after she was dead, and hated James who was also dead for something that happened when the were teenagers - he's not a man who lets go of anything, and grudges last a lifetime with him, including grudges against himself. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.

But I do think you wrote him very, very well. He hasn't changed at all, which is to be expected from a character like him. He still lashes out at Harry when Harry's just being helpful, because that's Snape's MO. But at this point he's been there so long and is so desperate, that he's willing to do anything, even listen to Harry, in order to get out. I notice he doesn't thank Harry. But he does listen to him and Dobby, and he forgives himself, and that's huge. And good for Dobby for suggesting those ideas in the first place. Dobby really is such a hero.

This was a wonderful chapter. And I'm glad Snape got to find out that Albus Severus is named after him! (Kinda wonder what he'd think about that, tbh) Great writing, as always! ♥

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Review #11, by marauderfanTraitorous Hearts: A Family Affair

5th December 2017:
Hi Penny! I'm so glad to be back reading this story again, I have missed it! I started reading this chapter for the snowball fight, then I realized the snowball fight was over. Whoops. I'm still really excited to read this chapter though. :P

Aw. While Filly's 'dress' of doilies and part of a baby blanket sounds like an odd-looking creation, it is so sweet that they went to the effort of making her something that's as close as it can to be clothes without actually being clothes. It kinda seems like Lavinia Greengrass mostly cared about the appearance of how the house elves' clothng reflects on the house, but at least for young Astoria it kinda seems like she just liked doing that, and I find it sweet :)

Poor Astoria. she must have a lot to deal with on days when her father isn't lucid. I'm annoyed at Daphne not being around to help after promising she would be :(

That library sounds AMAZING though. I can almost not blame Felix for spending all of his waking hours in there. And he loves Shakespeare! His defense of Shakespeare and other Muggle authors was really interesting to read as well, how he thinks there is some value in Muggle art even if he doesn't see the point in mingling with Muggles.

Astoria's great grandmother sounds really cool. But also like she would have a legacy that's hard to live up to. I enjoyed that scene with Astoria telling Filly to hide the books while the portrait of her great-grandmother looked on and approved quietly, it just felt so subversive and great :D

her voice barely more than a dry leaf trembling, clinging to a twig in the midst of a cold, strong wind. -- I love this description. This is so beautiful and effective.

That was a really powerful scene between Draco and Narcissa after Harry escaped from Malfoy Manor. And it's really consistent to the Narcissa we see at the end of DH doing anything she can to protect Draco, and has kind of lost her desire to have anything to do with the war.

Great chapter! I really love this story.

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Review #12, by marauderfanSurvival of the Fittest: It's too early for a love triangle

2nd December 2017:
Hello! Long time no see! I'm excited to get back to this story.

I love this scene with Al and Riya talking/cuddling. It's just so nice to see that things can be normal once in a while, and how Riya is able to appreciate what she has so much that she feels like this is comfort. Of course, it also marks a pretty big difference in what Albus has gone through - not to discredit what I'm sure has also been a really hard time for Al, but... it was just harder for Riya being totally out there on her own with Theo and pine needle tea.

Wow I was FURIOUS with Theo for calling Riya that - he jumped to a conclusion awfully fast and he has no business calling her that. I'm glad Riya was having none of that and stood up for herself and put Theo in his place. I do kinda feel for Theo having a crush on Riya for years and I can understand why he'd be upset seeing what he thinks is Riya falling in love with Al instantly, but... there's no need for name calling and shaming, he was totally in the wrong and I was cheering Riya on as she went off at him. But despite them arguing I was really glad they made up afterwards and that they know things will be okay. I think especially in their situation it's so important to stick together as they're such a ragtag group being pursued through the forest. They'll need each other.

Ok but this line, after most of the yelling has happened: I gazed a moment at the dark eyelashes of the sleeping boy. He’d laugh when he hears about this fight, no doubt. --- HOW DOES SHE STILL THINK AL IS SLEEPING hahahahaha. Not surprised he was in fact, not sleeping.

I like that they're doing plant ID in the woods, this is something I feel in my soul. #fieldbiologist

That scene with the goblin was so intense. I was on the edge of my seat hoping no one would move or anything - Harry did walk out of the tent whistling, but I guess he caught himself in time? But that was such a high stress scene and I'm glad they weren't found. *Wipes forehead*

This was a great chapter! I'm glad to have found my way back to this story again :)

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Review #13, by marauderfanLet Not the Silence Break: Let Not the Silence Break

2nd December 2017:
For the HPFT winter wonderland fort building! (Family theme)

Okay. So based on the summary and the banner I've got a big box of tissues right next to me just in case. I'm hoping the AU tag on this means you're bringing Fred back to life but I can never tell. Anyway, here goes.

First of all, wow. This was... not what I expected. I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this. How did they get there? Why is someone doing this to the twins? How could you be so mean to them as the author?? That aside - this is an incredibly powerful story. It just grabbed me in and I was emotionally invested in it immediately. The way you tell this story in silence is truly incredible. Every emotion and silent struggle and trauma they go through is just magnified by the other twin and by the fact that they are suffering in silence, and how each one is putting himself at greater risk just to make things easier for the other one in whatever way they can. What a horrible thing to have to go through, to watch your twin die.

And when have they ever needed words-- This is very true. They understand each other without words. But at the same time - when do they ever not use words? I can't imagine them without words. I know they don't need them, but their wit and jokes and everything is such an essential part of who they are. It's cruel to do this to them, you know?!

He might survive, but he won't live. -- OUCH

And in the end - well, what I think happened, Fred kind of lost some of who he was with this explosion of magic older than time, but he didn't die and neither did George. And in exchange for George's life, the silence is permanent. They are not who they were before, but they are both alive. It's honestly such an interesting ending, and with a story this powerful and emotional and with so much depth of feeling, the explosive and somewhat ambiguous end feels quite fitting. It's perfect.

You're right, this is absolutely the darkest thing I've read by you. But it's also an amazing piece of writing. Your writing style here is enviable, each sentence so profoundly crafted. How do you write so well?!?!?! This is an amazing piece and you should be proud of it.

AND I NEED TO READ A FLUFFY STORY ABOUT DOGS NOW. Or kittens. Or rainbows. Gah. But honestly this was amazing

Author's Response: Oh, this review was so unexpected! I had no idea you hadn't read this story before. Thank you, for such a wonderful surprise!

Yeah, those tissues are probably wise for this's really pretty dark.

And yes, I was awful, wasn't I. I really don't...know how they got there, or why, or why I did this to them. It just came to me as a moment in time and I had to write it. If you wanna think up a way they ended up there, go for it. But, it just needed to get out of my system.

I'm so glad you think it's powerful though! It hit me rather powerfully, but I'm never quite sure if that carries across to readers.

I don't know what to say to all your comments there, except thank you. That's exactly what I was trying to convey and to know you picked up on all of means so much. And yes, the horror of being helpless, and silent, and watching your twin brother die, that's what got me in the heart when trying to write this story.

Your point about them always USING words is to true...they might not need them, but they do enjoy them. And it's sad that has been stripped from them. And yes, I'm cruel. People tell me this all the time in reviews. I've decided it must be true. :(

I like your interpretation. Here's what I was thinking as I wrote this. You don't access power like that without having to give something in return. Balance, and all that stuff. So, because George means more to him than anything, he accepts silence in exchange for George's life. Plus, he dove deep into darker stuff - it kinda changed him. George, made no such deal, but he's loyal to his brother, and gonna stick with him in this new adventure because that's who they are.

I don't really write that well. I'm so far down the "writes really good" list it's not funny, but I love you for saying it anyway. Thank you so much!

I have a kitten story...but it's not finished. Maybe I should? (hugs) Thanks again!

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Review #14, by marauderfanAll the truth about Jimmy Portman: Theories and apologies

1st December 2017:
For the HPFT winter wonderland snow fort (friendship fics) #2

Oh wow that was such an intense christmas dinner. I really felt so bad for the Potters because Jimmy was kind of obliviously way over the line there. I don't blame Jimmy for being curious and having suspicions but there is a time and a place and... that was not it. *headdesk*

Dorea is quite the eavesdropper. She's picked up on a lot of information she probably isn't supposed to know! If she knows that Peter kidnapped Harry on his own terms and not Voldemort's orders, that means James and Lily must know that too. Which doesn't excuse what he did, but it must be better for James and Lily knowing that it was done to protect him? Of course, they still have the right to be angry about Peter not returning Harry afterward.

I really liked that last scene with Peter and his Mum because it puts everything into perspective a bit. Of course, he did have a choice in the end on whether to become a Death Eater or not, but this kind of puts into context what he had to go through and why he made the choice he did.

So yeah, things have gotten very interesting. I do hope Peter tells Jimmy the truth sometime soon because Jimmy knows too much now and it's just hurting them both to continue lying. Continuing as they are will just create more problems later on.

Great chapter!!! ♥

Author's Response: As I said, tactfulness is not Jimmy's biggest quality... poor Potters, that was really hard for them... :(

Yes, she is quite the eavesdropper... and yes, James and Lily know that Peter had "good" intentions, but that doesn't excuse his actions.

I'm so glad you liked the scene with Mary and that it helped putting things into perspective a bit. Peter did go through a lot and I think it's important to remember that.

Peter should totally tell Jimmy at this point, but it will probably take some more time... but yes, going on like this will only hurt them both... :(

Thank you so much for another lovely review!

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Review #15, by marauderfanAll the truth about Jimmy Portman: Christmas

1st December 2017:
Reviewing as part of the fort building for the snowball fight! (friendship theme) I'm very glad to come back to this story!

Also how timely and perfect that this chapter is called Christmas.

I love that Lily makes the wolfsbane potion for Remus. And that she owns an apothecary - it's nice to imagine that this is what she'd be doing if she had lived. It fits too, because we know she was so good at potions. And it's just like Remus to refuse a gift because he feels bad about his financial situation. I think you got the dynamic of his self-deprecating, sort of "I don't deserve nice things" behaviour perfectly, as well as Lily's generosity. I'm glad she forced him to accept the gift.

Mary is still alive!!

You've written all the Weasley siblings SO perfectly. I really enjoyed that scene. It's nice that Ron has somewhere to stay over the holiday that doesn't involve him just being alone as the rest of his dormmates went home!

It's nice that Peter tried to make Jimmy's new room as similar to the old one as he could to make it feel like home from the start.

I love that Mrs Weasley sent the classic Weasley jumper to him via owl to Peter's house and that she sent Jimmy one too! Also, Neville's gift is awesome.

Dorea is the cutest.

Omg, Mary's girlfriend is a Muggle... is this her first time seeing wizarding photographs? Haha, she's in for a surprise as it doesn't seem Lily and James hid anything wizardy about the house, it's all in the open. And she's talking about politics with Lily at Christmas dinner. Hahahaha. What an introduction XD

Wow so Christmas dinner just got a bit more awkward. Not the time to ask that, Jimmy. ! But. a fantastic end to the chapter as things have just changed a lot! THINGS ARE GOING TO GET EXCITING

Author's Response: Yes! Christmas chapter! Aren't those lovely? ;)

I had been wondering what Lily's job could be... I couldn't imagine her just being a housewife because it just wouldn't work with how I imagine her character. I've seen her as a Healer in some fics, but I didn't really like that either. I'm glad you liked the idea of her owning an apothecary, I did think it worked really well with her talent for Potions. :) And yes, Remus woud try to refuse her gift... it's just how he is, isn't it?

Yes, Mary is alive. :)

Ah, I'm so glad you thought I wrote the Weasleys well, I was a bit worried about it to be honest... and yes, Ron won't have to stay alone at Hogwarts for the holidays. :)

I'm happy you liked that, Peter does care a lot for Jimmy. And I'm happy you liked the Weasley jumpers, too. :)

Aww, so happy you found her cute!

Mary's girlfriend is a last minute addiction (she wasn't there before the editing), but I do love her! Yes, she hadn't seen wizarding photographs before! :P I'm glad you liked her introduction! :)

No, that wasn't the right moment, but it's Jimmy we are talking about, he isn't a champion of tactfulness... glad you are excited, though!

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Review #16, by marauderfanAll the truth about Jimmy Portman: Auror James Potter

29th November 2017:
HERE I AM TO READ AND LOVE THIS CHAPTER. It's been way too long since I've caught up with Jimmy! I'm very glad to be back :) This is for round 2 of the review swap in the CR.

James is back at Hogwarts and he's totally going to see Harry. I mean Jimmy. Will they recognise each other?!?! I'm still surprised James hasn't put together the fact that Peter Portman is Peter Pettigrew. But he has to recognise his son. right?

I am no fan of Snape, but I can kind of side with him here. I mean, he's literally in the middle of teaching a class and James waltzes in there and wants to talk to him this very second. It's a bit entitled of him :P Like, he can't wait ten minutes or something for Snape to have a chance?

I do like that James is trying to extend the olive branch to Snape and put their teenage rivalry behind them. Even if it's only prompted by him wanting something from Snape and that's what prompts him. But, at least it's something. He clearly still doesn't like Snape but he's trying to be civil (well... for the most part). I'm not surprised Snape wants no part of it though. :P

Ok, so now I'm beginning to think that Jimmy and Peter both have a charm to alter their appearance because Harry is said to look similar to James, and here James still doesn't notice anything... I mean, he can't be that thick. So, there's an appearance charm. (You may have already mentioned this in an earlier chapter but if you did, I forgot :P)

"And the only one I remember ever attempting murder at Hogwarts it's you." - WOW YEP THIS IS A SOLID POINT. And James may not like Snape at all but it's nice that he does trust him, based on the fact that people he trusts also trust Snape.

So Jimmy is starting to put some pieces together. Oooh, and I love that this question of Jimmy looking like Peter, which I was wondering about earlier in this review, is something you've addressed at the end of the chapter. Hermione has figured it out. I think their appearance was changed. Jimmy is going to find out that the appearance he's always seen in the mirror is not actually what he looks like. That'll be a weird experience. I can't wait to find out what Hermione has discovered and how this all turns out!

Great chapter!!

Author's Response: Kristin! So glad to have you back here! :)
Also, it's so nice of you to leave reviews for everyone for the second round of the review swap, you are so wonderful! *hug*
Ahahah! No, they won't recognize each other... not yet... but they are totally meeting and things are going to become complicated, as you already know... :P
It is a bit entitled of James, but what would you expect from him, especially when dealing with Snape? :P But yeah, I can see what you mean...
I think James is actually sorry for the way he treated Snape in school days, but yes, he would have probably never apologized if he didn't need Snape's help. I don't think Snape will ever accept it and I'm quite sure they'll never be friends, but maybe they'll come to respect each other at some point? (I'm asking because I don't know)
Yes, there is an appearence charm. I don't remember if I mentioned it explicitly before, but I have definitely hinted at it in some points. Anyway, yes.
Glad you liked that line in particular. I think there is a part of James that never really forgave Sirius for the Willow incident. And yes, James would trust Snape if both Lily and Dumbledore believe in him.
Yes, Jimmy is starting to put the pieces together and he's going to find out much more than he hoped to (but you already know...)
Thank you so much for the lovely review!

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Review #17, by marauderfanSaving Severus Snape : xxviii.

13th October 2017:
LOOK HI I CAUGHT UP!! Sorry about not leaving reviews on all the chapters in between. Got swept up in the story (and... was also too lazy to type). You know how it goes. Anyway, here we are.

As much as it pained her, she would have to let things unfold, no matter how horrible they would become. -- this is such a sobering thought. like it's scary enough going to the past and being hyper-aware of everything you do and the potential impact it might have, but when you add that to the fact that you have to watch history unfold as you know it, the horrible events and all, that's got to be so excruciating. And Hermione's a person who always reacts to situations she doesn't like by actively doing something to change it. Fighting voldemort, starting SPEW, etc, so this must be especially hard for her to just sit on her hands and do nothing.

The fluff with Severus in the past few chapters has been really sweet. There's a sentence I never thought I'd say. But it's remarkable how much he's changed and how open he is with her, it's so sweet.

Great chapter!

Also I am so, so sorry to hear about your aunt. It's so hard to watch loved ones go through cancer treatments. I sincerely hope things get better. ♥ my inbox(es) are always open if you ever want to talk.

Great work on this chapter and you are a lovely person ♥

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Review #18, by marauderfanSaving Severus Snape : xxii.

12th October 2017:
“It's probably best that you get presents for your families, before you spend all of your money on sugar,” she told them. -- I would expect nothing less from someone whose parents are dentists. XD

It was lovely to se Hermione spending time with her Ravenclaw friends again. Though I wonder how much Amelia has guessed. Still, it's unlikely that a) Remus and Amelia talk that much about Hermione, or that b) Amelia is going to suspect the truth, because the truth is pretty weird.

Maybe she will though. When my friends are acting weird I tend to first suspect them of being time-travellers from the future because duh, what else could it be?

I love that you're not afraid to show the ugly side of Lily. I think it's easy for writers to fall into the trap of writing her as this flawlessly nice person, but no one is that nice. (I'm a Hufflepuff and even I'm not that nice. :P) So I like that you show this other side to her because it makes her more human.

Severus really has no reason to be cold with Hermione, did he not hear that she was standing up for him? But Hermione's right, Severus does make a big deal out of nothing quite often. Poor Hermione though, that kind of situation sucks because she did nothing wrong but feels guilty all the same.

Awesome chapter! (I wanted to leave you a review for finishing your chapter but I'm still too far behind and not there yet :P )

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Review #19, by marauderfanSaving Severus Snape : xx.

9th September 2017:
For HPFT MAGIC M10: Review a story about a Slytherin (Severus Snape)

I was really hoping to find time to get back to this story I love, and to contribute to Hufflepuff totally dominating in the House Cup before I have to start my drive across the country in half an hour, so luckily I found a way to do both at the same time :P

Also did I ever congratulate you for winning like a million awards for this story? They just seem to keep piling up every time I click on the story! :P Well done, it's totally deserved. ¢¾

when suddenly she froze. Severus would use his gift. For many years, actually. -- EEE OMG did she just remember seeing it in the classroom in the future when she was a student?!?! *rubs hands with glee* Ahahaha this is perfect

For whatever reason, he always kept her waiting whenever she had a question and would raise her hand in the middle of class.
Hermione locked her eyes onto him, and sat up straight, refusing to lower her arm until he called on her. Why did he hate her so much?
-- Yes! This is something I've wondered since partway through this story, why Severus was still so mean to her after all this when she was a student and I'm glad you've addressed that in Hermione's thoughts because it means there's an answer on its way. Literally everytime I find a hole that I can use as a reason for my Snamione skepticism, you address it a couple of chapters later and fix/explain it. Seriously, this story is so well thought through and I really admire that. You address all the details in a way that could make even the most skeptical-of-Snamione reader kinda fall for this ship a little, or at least understand it.

The scene where he actually hands her the stirring stick is so perfect. Like, it's clear there's not just hatred going on in his head, and he displays a second of emotion behind his usual mask... and despite his obvious attachment to the stirring stick and who gave it to him, he still takes points away from Gryffindor. Because he's Snape and that's what he does. You've added a whole new layer to him while still keeping him very recognizably Snape.

AND HE KNOWS without a doubt that she's the same person. How could he not?

But, he remembers whereas it hasn't happened for her yet... and in 1976, she remembers but he doesn't know yet that he'll see her in the future. AHHH

Ooo things are heating up! I mean, I kinda saw it coming when Hermione started lighting candles and conjuring pillows in this room that just the two of them were using for a "duel" :P But I think Hermione's reaction to how fast they were moving really fits with her character and even though she's acting differently here and we're seeing her in a different context than we've seen Hermione before, she still feels like the same person.

Severus including Hermione in his dreams for the future, aww. That's so bittersweet, because it's really lovely to think that he was once so hopeful and happy, and then to realize that it will never happen because eventually (somehow?) Hermione has to go back to her own time.

I didn't think it was filler! I thought it was great! Wonderful chapter :)

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Review #20, by marauderfanLying Josephine: This Is For

4th September 2017:



But that'd be kinda annoying if I did this entire review in capslock, so I'll try to restrain myself.

George is on his way in next, and as much as I'm sure you'd love for him to land on top of you, this is simply neither the time nor place." -- HA. this is during a sad scene in a dusty boarded up Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and the battle of Hogwarts is going on and FRED IS MAKING JOKES LIKE THIS. Bahahaah I just don't know how to handle it.

This whole section really. I absolutely love your use of detail. I can picture the whole scene so clearly. And love, love, love the scene with Jo and Fred right before he goes back into the battle. This scene kind of encapsulates everything about their relationship. He's still managing to bring joy at a dark time and lift Jo's spirits, and he's all talk and she's all silence, and she silently keeps him from getting too cocky. I mean, if she hadn't moved, that spell could have been bad :P And when he kisses her forehead at the end. Gah, these two are so adorable and I love their friendship SO. MUCH.

I love your description of the Burrow and all the sights and smells that make it the home that it is. ♥ Also I am now very hungry.

"I'm scared," I tell my shoelaces. I know she's talking to her shoelaces here rather than the person who asked her a question, but she TALKED. This is huge character development right here.

The way Josephine is welcomed with so much love into the family kind of makes my heart explode with feels. and hugs me like I matter. -- GUH. Is someone cutting onions in here?

Percy actually reaches out to shake my hand, and while he gives a polite smile, it doesn't quite meet his eyes. I can't help but feel shaken by his obvious skepticism. -- honestly I really loved this line because it's perfect. I can totally imagine Percy's smile doesn't reach his eyes, but that it's because he likely is still haunted by the guilt that he was there distracting Fred with his first ever joke when Fred was hit with the curse. (or at least that's how he sees it). I want to tell Jo it's nothing personal.

Mr. Weasley simply grins. "I have one word for you all," he announces above the giggling, eyeing each of his sons with a pointed look. "Genetics."
And that shuts them all up.
-- If they'd had a science class at Hogwarts, Charlie could tell his father that male baldness is actually inherited through the mother. So there, Arthur. But they didn't, so Arthur wins this round. Bahaha, this whole conversation was so entertaining though. Can I just say how PERFECTLY you write the Weasleys? Not just Fred and George, because everyone already knew that you're amazing at writing them, but the whole family. This could be a scene from the books. They are all exactly what I'd expect from them in this situation. Their mannerisms, their exact type of humor - everything is PERFECT. I love the way George elaborated on Molly's threat about the lawnmower when he told Arthur. Leaving him for Hagrid... I'm dying of laughter XD

Josephine did a really good job holding it together surrounded by all those people asking her questions, I know she's miles outside of her comfort zone, but she does so well. And the fact that she was able to be totally honest about some things (like the story about Fred) really makes it believable. And oh, I think it's raining on my face.

I'm just as sad as Josephine is about the idea of her not being able to spend time with the Weasleys again. That would crush me. Just, it's so good for all of them - for Josephine, for George, for all of the Weasleys, for them to have her around. I know it's all based on a lie, but it's bringing Josephine out of her shell and helping her deal with her grief, and the Weasleys get to relive all their favorite moments with Fred all over again and know that Fred was loved, and it's just so healing for all of them. Which will ultimately make it harder as more time passes, I know, and Jo realizes how stuck she is in her lie, but honestly they need this. Grief is so much easier when shared.

I'm running out of characters, and this is so long that you must be already dreading having to respond to it, but I just wanted to say how beautiful this chapter was and you have no need to doubt yourself on your writing, or on your incredible portrayal of the Weasleys or Harry. They are all perfect, so is this story, and so are you.

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Review #21, by marauderfanAll the truth about Jimmy Portman: Quidditch, curses and family affairs

4th September 2017:


"Hermione! It's Quidditch!" the two boys cried in unison, -- I love this. For all their bickering, they have the same reaction when Hermione tries to stop them. :P I think they'd get on quite well if they gave each other a chance!

Thank goodness Jimmy was fast enough to see Neville tumble over the rail and actually go catch him before he hit the ground!

DUMBLEDORE KNOWS. Of course Dumbledore knows. And... he's not doing anything about it. He knows where Harry has been all these years and who kidnapped him and... ugh, this is very typical of Dumbledore to know all this information and not tell anyone until it suits his purposes :P but... would it even be fair for him to tell James and Lily at least? Considering he may not know the reasons? I don't know, this is such an ethical dilemma :P

And I was glad Peter and Jimmy actually talked and that Jimmy let go of his anger. Love is important, and he has a family who loves him, but... love can't cover up lies. Honestly I can't blame Jimmy. I'd be full of questions too if I were him and I wouldn't like knowing that the answer is there but out of reach. Peter needs to tell him the truth, and soon. And yet, as much as I'm annoyed with Peter's choice of action here... it's very in character for him :P I bet he's just hoping Jimmy will forget so Peter never has to face up to what he's done and face Jimmy's disapproval about it.

Hehe, I still really enjoy it when people are like "WOW NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM??" with some degree of starstruck-ness :P

CC if you want it/Because English is weird:

I saw 'misterious'/'mistery' in there a couple of times, which is what you'd expect the translation to be as a cognate, but it's actually spelt with a Y: mysterious/mystery

All he received from his friends were clueless, pitiful glares -- Hm. I think you may have meant 'glances', not glares? a glare is generally an angry look (or a bright light)

This was a lovely chapter, Chiara! I'm really enjoying this fic! ¢¾

Author's Response: Ahahah! Typical Hermione, reading at a Quidditch match. Yes, Neville and Ron could get along if they just tried.

And yes, thank Merlin Jimmy noticed. He does have a bit of a rescuing mania... Harry is always Harry, right? ;)

I'm not sure if Dumbledore knows... it's more like he suspects, I think. And yes, that's very typical of him, not doing anything and waiting for things to develop...

They did talk. But yes, there are still so many unanswered questions and Peter will need to tell him the truth, sooner or later. I'm glad you found Peter's actions in character, he does hate that kind of confrontation...

Ahahah! I'm so glad you like it! Poor Neville, though...

So glad you enjoyed this chapter too, and I can't wait to know what you think of the rest!

Love and snowball hug,

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Review #22, by marauderfanAll the truth about Jimmy Portman: The golden quartet

2nd September 2017:
Ah, I'll have to wait a bit longer to find out what happened with James and Peter back in Godric's Hollow. For now, we're back at Hogwarts!

I like the way you write the changes in friendship dynamics here. Ron has to learn how to play well with others - seems there's a lot of people he doesn't like at this point. But maybe by the end he's gotten a bit better. After all, fighting a gigantic troll can bring anyone together. I like that there's a golden quartet!

It's interesting how many things are quite similar to the original books but with a few small changes, and I feel like as the story goes on, these small changes will build on each other until things are quite different. The friendship dynamics between Jimmy and his classmates are the biggest change so far (well... aside from everything going on away from Hogwarts with PEter), especially with Neville in Slytherin.

And why is Neville being stalked? What has Samantha Rosier against him? :-O It's no wonder he spends all his time with the Gryffindors since his own housemates make him so uncomfortable. :(

english notes:
"If I don't have an infarct in the next five minutes, -- it's generally called a heart attack ;)

Awesome chapter!

Author's Response: Yes, I'm trying to follow both the kids and the adults and to alternate the POVs. Sorry for making you wait.

Ahahah! Yes, my children fight a lot... but they do love each other, or at least they are trying to learn. Yes, I do love this golden quartet! :)

I'm trying to balance things that are similar with things that should be different. It's not easy but I hope it works. I'm glad you like their friendship dynamics.

There's more to come about Samantha, but she doesn't have bad intentions, she's actually just looking for a friend (*cough* she might have a little crush on Neville *cough*) But yes, Neville doesn't really feel comfortable with his housemates and that's no wonder... :P

Thank you for another lovely review! :)

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Review #23, by marauderfanAll the truth about Jimmy Portman: A new neighbour

2nd September 2017:
I kinda feel bad for Peter, having no idea why Jimmy won't talk to him and really trying, despite whatever else he may have done in the past. I feel like it's extra complicated because he did the wrong thing but for the right reasons (mostly). Like, he had no right to run off with Harry like that, but at least Harry is still alive. Jimmy, just answer those letters! But, maybe this is a conversation best held face to face...

a wizard who offered himself as a dragon-sitter -- I know this is really inconsequential but I love it. this is exactly the sort of weirdness I expect from the wizarding world. does this guy get a lot of work? is his only customer Hagrid? /tangent

I'm not really sure Peter has planned this out. like, he may have put some sort of spell on himself so he's not immediately recognizable (plus ten years that Lily hasn't seen him) but... the minute Lily sees Harry *cough* I mean Jimmy... she's going to know. There is no way she won't recognize someone who looks exactly like James and has her own eyes. *CUE MUCH DRAMA*

James was in the kitchen, helping Lily with the dishes. Or better said, he leaned beside the sink, admiring her while she do the cleaning up. -- James you lazy git, do some dishes. :P Ooh, and this just got really exciting because everything surrounding the Philosopher's Stone is still happening, it'll just be different with the Potters alive and I'm so curious to see where you go with this!!!

Heh heh so Peter is moving into a haunted house (or so the locals say). Should be exciting. But really, I'm just looking forward to this meeting happening (James and Peter) because many things are about to change. Peter has a lot of explaining to do and I wonder if his old friends will ever trust him again.

small fixes:
Peter scanned the various adds -- rather than 'adds' as in the maths verb, I think you're looking for 'ads' as in, short for 'advertisements'

You've been a foul to come back.
No. He hadn't been a foul.
-- 'fool' instead of foul

This is a great chapter! And actually I'm so invested in this future meeting where the Potters meet Peter again that I'm going on to the next chapter right away ;)

Author's Response: Hi, Kristin! *hug* *wub*

Sorry for the absurdely long time I took to answer these reviews... I'm the worst...

Yes, I know, poor Peter... he has a lot to be forgiven for, but Jimmy is being quite unfair to him not answering his letters. But yes, that's definitely a conversation they should have in person.

Ahahah! Yes, I wanted to put in some crazy stuff, I'm glad you liked it. No, I don't think he has many customers... :P

Peter didn't think it through so well, but he isn't that unprepared (don't know if this is the right word...) either. More about this will be explained better later. But drama is definitely coming, that I can assure you. :P

Ahahah! Isn't it so very James Potter, though? (that's a detail I added while editing and I love it...) Yes, everything about the Philosopher's Stone is still happening, we'll see where it goes together, hopefully.

I don't think the house is actually haunted, but Peter has a talent for getting himself into trouble... Peter and James will meet soon. What will happen once James discovers the truth, well... we'll see...

Thank you so much, your reviews are always so lovely! You are the best!

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Review #24, by marauderfanTraitorous Hearts: A Changing Tide

4th August 2017:
Wow this was an eventful chapter. Ah! I really loved all the twists and turns in to the plot - Draco finding out, the faceoff between the two of them whre Astoria has let go of any facade of propriety, the terryfing moment when Greyback walks in, and then Draco calling off Greyback, denying everything and leaving. I think Draco is just as scared of Greyback as Astoria is, and whatever else he's done at this point in the war, he's still a kid and not up to facing the idea of watching Greyback devour someone. Besides, as Astoria mentioned, Draco does still have a soul somewhere in there and she found a way to get through to it - she noticed his hesitation at all the crucial moments and banked on it. I have to say, she held her own really well up until the Legilimency, and even afterward when she was defensive - she was not going down without a fight. This was such a fast paced chapter and I couldn't look away for a second as I was reading it! This story is really starting to build up now and I love it.

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Review #25, by marauderfanTraitorous Hearts: The Malediction Perfidious

4th August 2017:
Hi Penny! I just randomly decided to return to this story today as I saw it on the recently updated page and I remembered reading some of it a while ago and really liking it. Now that I'm further into the story I'm loving it even more!

There are far too few stories about Slytherins during the second war, so I really appreciate that about this story - that it handles all the complicated layers of what it is to be a Slytherin during this time, and how much acting is needed and secret alliances and holding all her cards close to her chest. And while Astoria is kind of alone among her peers in that she's working against Voldemort, in a way she's still like any other Slytherin, looking out for herself and those she cares about. It's a wonderful characterisation of her and quite layered which I really appreciate.

I also love her friendship with Ginny - if it can be called that. How they're both incredibly similar - observant, direct with one another (for the most part), and it made me wonder if in different circumstances, like if Ginny wasn't from a 'blood traitor' family or Astoria didn't have judgemental peers - they could have been really good friends. Omg, though, I really love Astoria's musings about Gryffindors' flair for the dramatic and foolish. I love that Ginny's friends got in on this even to the point of faking an injury just so Ginny can secretly meet with Astoria. That was a brilliant scene.

Also yikes that the curse was cast by Astoria's mother. Adds a whole new layer of complication there.

This is such a great story and I'm so glad I've come back to it!

Author's Response: Hey! Aw, yay! I'm so excited that you decided to check it out again, and even MORE excited that you're enjoying it! :D

I feel like your entire 2nd paragraph in this review makes me want to cry tears of happiness because it was *exactly* what I was going for with this story. Astoria is totally a Slytherin, but she's actually a rather good person at her core who, till now, was raised to sort of see her desire to take a stand as a weakness rather than a strength. I really wanted a character who wasn't good in, like, the typical shining, heroic way, but who generally has a good moral compass and who, when left to her own devices, tends to choose the right thing.

I also love her friendship with Ginny! I think it can be called that, even if it's a bit tentative. They're fun because I feel like they kind of represent Gryffindor and Slytherin being two sides of the same coin. They both do have that direct quality, and a certain disregard for the rules. And, to be fair, some prejudices on both sides. I think you're right and if they could have met before, under different circumstances, they would have been great friends all through school. Bahaha, Astoria is a bit of a snob sometimes, but she also sometimes may not be wrong--I think the flair for drama is a part of many Gryffindors. Astoria just maybe isn't aware that Draco Malfoy used to stage his meetings with Harry by sitting around in trees and waiting for him to walk by, and all that ;'). Two sides, same coin.

Thank you so much for this absolutely lovely review1. It's an absolute delight to hear your thoughts! Thank you!


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