Reading Reviews From Member: marauderfan
1,181 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfanThe Exchange Student: i

24th September 2015:
Wheee, I'm on a roll catching up on this story(ies) lately! I love that you're telling these two stories concurrently.

I love that Snape's method of calming himself down is to mentally recite the twelve uses of dragon's blood XD that's kind of cute, actually.

No. Even though he and Lily were no longer friends, she had better sense than to wind up with that arrogant prat. -- Hahaha... Bummer, dude.

I like the attention you've drawn to how Hogwarts really is Snape's home, since his real home is a place of abuse and neglect - but how much of the feeling of home that Hogwarts gave him was because of Lily. I do almost feel badly for Snape here.

It was foolish for her to throw away years of friendship over a slip of his tongue. He did not mean it, and he just had to get her to see that he was truly sorry. -- this so accurately captures the essence of what Snape is. He'll apologize, beg, do whatever is needed, but ultimately still thinks it's her being foolish and doesn't step back and look at what he's become and why she cut him out of her life.

And then we get the overlap with SSS! I'm really excited for this because I love the way the same story can be different when seen from two different POV's. This was a great place to leave off too, because just as Lily leaves Snape at the lowest point he's been at, Hermione walks in and you can just feel that things are about to change.

Love it! I know this won't be updated for a while but I'll be back when it is! :)

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Review #2, by marauderfanDisappear : Chapter Two

23rd September 2015:
Hello there! I saw that this story had quite a few chapters and no reviews and so I wanted to come by and appreciate! Your story summary is really captivating and drew me in.

I guess I didn't know exactly what to predict apart from a couple that used to be together and then broke up, so the bit about her having an abortion really surprised me - in the best way possible. I mean, there are a lot of teenage pregnancy fics out there, and in every one that I've read, the girl has the baby. So I like that yours is different in that respect. Most especially, I love stories about controversial and difficult topics so I really admire you for doing just that! And for not shying away from the uncomfortable aspects of that such as Louis' feelings on the issue versus it being Melanie's choice and how complicated that makes things for the two of them.

I kind of also love that Melanie is friends with the Bloody Baron. I really hope to see more of this friendship and how it even works haha, it's great! And random sidenote, I love the name Melanie :)

You've also woven a bit of mystery in here as well in terms of the circumstances of Liam's death; it's been alluded to as something that happened and it obviously still affects Melanie and Florence a lot, so I wonder what happened and when. I'll have to read more and find out!

If you don't mind me giving you a bit of CC, I have a couple of suggestions that might help make your fic even stronger. While you seem to do well with character interactions with one another, sometimes it feels like the characters are just floating in nothingness having their conversations. One thing that might be cool to do is have a sentence or so describing the setting when the scene changes, so the reader can visualise the characters in that setting more easily. Like what room are they in, what month is it, is it cold? loud? For example, like "we walked into the noisy common room, where the red and gold tapestries were illuminated by the late autumn sun." Or something like that. Little details of what a setting looks, feels, smells like - those can go a long way in helping the reader feel like they are there in that scene.

I hope this doesn't come across as mean - I only say this because I think it will make a good fic even better. It's all coming from a place of love :)

I'll just close off this review by saying that I applaud you for your daring to take on a difficult topic and for the wonderful start you've got on this story. I've enjoyed the first two chapters! Keep up the great work! ♥

Author's Response: Thank you for such a lovely review! And no I don't think it was mean - it was helpful! I'm so glad you are enjoying the story. It is always sort of nerve racking to do such a conversional topic so I'm glad to finally get some feedback on it.

There will be more Baron coming up and I think Liam's death will finally come out here as well.

I truly do appreciate the review and am thankful for the tips! I hope you come back for more and I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far!


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Review #3, by marauderfanLet Perpetual Light: In Resurrection

23rd September 2015:
Yesss another chapter

Perhaps I spoke too soon at the end of the last chapter when I thought Grindelwald was posing as Thimble - it's Ariana who's doing so! I was expecting that even less, based on how well thought out and well written the letter was, but then I guess I've underestimated Ariana just as all the other characters have. And I realize that it's not even that surprising that it's Ariana who's been writing the letter - it fits so well with what's been told about her so far. And gah, she just keeps getting more interesting as a character!

also I forgot to mention in the previous chapter - I love that it was actually Albus who came up with the "Greater Good" thing, and Gellert just appropriated it for his own means.

And then Ariana actually meets Marvolo Gaunt and uses one of the Hallows! She is really quite intelligent even though she spends most of her life in a world of her own fabrication, and it makes me wonder what she would have been like if she'd not had that bad experience with the Muggles when she was a kid.

I found the bit where Kendra and Percival materialized really interesting as well - particularly the way they only repeated themselves and couldn't say much. Especially because I seem to remember the ghosts of James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus saying things to Harry as he walked into the forest, which made me start thinking if the stone can make people materialise in different ways, or if Ariana sees the deathly versions of her parents because of her particular magic or because she's more closely connected with the death side of things (given that she talks to the death crone nearly every day), or maybe Harry overlooked things like that which Ariana noticed, as Harry was seeing these faces to give him strength as he walked into the forest? I doubt any of what I'm saying actually makes sense outside my own head, so I'm sorry :p but wow, that was just such an interesting scene.

I saw one typo in the chapter so I figured I'd point it out: “Imagine all the powerat our disposal once we unite the Hallows -- should be "power at"

This was such a great chapter! I love this story so much and I can't wait to read more - it is really exciting that you've finished writing the whole thing, even if it isn't edited yet. Sending all my editing-muses to you :D

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Review #4, by marauderfanLet Perpetual Light: A Communion of Saints

23rd September 2015:
TEHHH ♥ Gah, I saw that you'd updated this story weeks ago and because I'm a horrifically slow reviewer I have only just now found the time to catch up and read these most recent two chapters, which I'm so glad about because I'd missed this fic! Also, I really love the new title. Anyway, enough of me rambling, onto the review!

The swollen heat of July collapses into August, drawing out of the marshlands a living vapour of mosquitoes and midges. The summer loses its sharpness and turns clammy and permeable, seeping through all layers of earth, brick, fabric and skin. - !!! Your descriptions are SO GOOD. Every time I read anything by you I'm just blown away - like I don't just see the scene, I feel it, because you incorporate so many senses and details into your descriptions. I'm in awe, really.

Your portrayal of Ariana is so fresh and interesting, both from her own point of view and as seen by Albus and Aberforth. As seen from her own perspective, things make sense because that's how she is experiencing things (until you step back and really analyse what's happening and see that it's all in her head), and as seen from an outsider like her brothers, she seems to just exist in an entirely different phase from everything else. Like she'll be there in one moment, aware, knowing that her brothers underestimate her, or having a normal conversation about wanting an owl, but then sort of check out in the next moment and lose interest. She's just so interesting to read about. I loved that she uses her own voice to be the voice of Glass Girl and the other women she regularly 'sees'.

I really love the way in which you've been developing the relationship between Albus and Gellert, writing letters all the time, analyzing each other's character, and the hints of anything more than friendship are so subtle because of the time period, but evident - and I was in a way unsurprised that the kiss happened when it did - even though I think there was sentiment behind it, in a way because of the timing it felt sort of as a way for Gellert to get back at Albus for winning the duel - he points out something Albus is trying to keep hidden. Gellert is such a mastermind, such a calculating thinker.

(also, that duel was awesome.)

And Marvolo Gaunt shows up at the end! :O Wait... it has been months since the Thimble letter plot was introduced so this might have already been covered and I'd forgotten, but is Gellert posing as Thimble to get the Hallows from Marvolo Gaunt?!?! AJSDFJASLDJ WOWOW things just got really interesting (not that they were uninteresting before but... this is like a whole new twist thrown in and I just didn't predict that at all. I'm excited.

And there's another chapter waiting for me! :D See you again with more gushing words of praise on that one.

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Review #5, by marauderfanThe Company You Keep: The Company You Keep

22nd September 2015:
Hi! I'm here for the swap! AAH STORIES ABOUT SNAPE AND LILY ARE SO SAD. I always feel really badly for both of them - despite the fact that I don't even like Snape as a person (he's a fascinating character though.)

I think one of the greatest things about this story was that it showed just how hard it was for Lily to terminate a friendship that had gone sour - because Snape was her first friend in the wizarding world and she probably has all these great memories of their friendship, and she feels like she's giving all of that up too. I can really sympathise with her because it is so hard to lose a friendship, and I imagine even harder when you yourself have to cause that loss. But at the same time, she is very wise to see where things are going and that Snape can't bridge a gap that wide- she know that she is not welcome in this new world that Snape is joining, and his involvement with that group has crossed a line.

And Snape - that was a perspective I hadn't seen before - like he was regretting it from the moment he joined (and still thinking it was her fault, which is probably quite realistic!). Or alternately, because of the last couple of lines - it's future Snape looking back on himself at that age and lamenting, so it could be just his future self affixing his future regrets to the past situation, which is a really interesting lens to see it through. I like it.

So sad :( but really well done! I did happen to see a few areas with missing punctuation - maybe a beta or another read-through could help clear those up - but overall it's great.

Well done! Thanks for the swap :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :)

I'm glad you can sympathize with Lily losing her friendship. This was inspired by a recent friendship that I've had to distance myself from so I'm glad I got the emotion right as that's what I was feeling with my friendship.

In my head canon Snape was relying on Lily to help him choose the light and her rejection is what made the choice for him. I feel that if Lily chose him, he wouldn't be so hateful and mean and never would have joined the Death Eaters. I wanted to capture the moment he got the Dark Mark because I think that was the ultimate result of his actions and I think he did blame Lily because she was his downfall and in the end she was also his salvation in a way.

At some point I will have to go back and edit for grammar issues and typos but I don't know how soon that will be. Thanks for pointing them out.

Thanks again for reviewing.


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Review #6, by marauderfanSaving Severus Snape : ix

22nd September 2015:
I'm back, as promised! And this is my 1200th review so I'm super excited to be writing it to you!

This was a great chapter and I was struck while reading it just how impressively you write Snape. I've never tried to write him apart from a few scenes here and there but he is SUCH a fascinating character given how much is going on inside his head versus how much he shows to the outside world - he's like two vastly different people, sometimes. He's such a complicated person which is why I love this chapter, because it really shows all his complexity and how he's so conflicted with the various sides of himself - he has the ability to be nice, but he's also so defensive, probably still very hurt about Lily not being his friend any more, he's generally angry (because not only is he Snape, who is often just an angry person, but even more so here as he's TEENAGE SNAPE!) Not to mention he's probably just recently joined the Death Eaters. Gah, he's just so confused about so many things and it's no wonder Hermione has no idea what to make of all these various messages she's getting from Snape.

On the whole, your characterisation is fantastic - and even though this isn't a pairing I read often (or like, ever?) I find myself really enjoying the story because the characters feel so real. For me, a story is all about its characters, and great characters with a lot of thought put into them make a great story.

Also, every time Rita Skeeter and Lockhart show up in this story I smile.

Still loving this story! Keep up the awesome work.

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Review #7, by marauderfanSweet Tooth: sweet as music

22nd September 2015:
Yay, she finally told someone! And see, it wasn't that bad - Dom didn't think any worse of her. Hopefully it will be enough to convince Roxy that she can tell the rest of her family too!

I can see how it would be stressful though even if she knows her family will most likely all be supportive, just because of the heteronormativity of all the discussions she's had with everyone just assuming that Ryan is a dude - that must be so exhausting. So yeah, you go Roxanne! Step 1 to smashing heternormativity.

I wonder what Ryan thinks about it all - does she know Roxanne was keeping her a secret? Is she goingto meet the Weasleys? Part of me wonders if the way Roxanne is going to tell her family is to have them meet Ryan. Ahahaha.

This is a great story so far! So glad I found it the other day :) Keep up the good work - I'll be back next time you update!

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Review #8, by marauderfanSaving Severus Snape : viii

22nd September 2015:
Eek! So, somehow I had missed this chapter when you updated so I'm really glad that I came back to this story today! Also it means that I don't have to wait long for the next chapter as I read this one hehe.

And omg wow that was so intense! So much happened in this chapter - not only in Hermione's head, where a lot of things happen in most chapters, but outside of her head too. I just love the way you write Hermione, though - you really take into consideration just how much she thinks things through and it feels so genuine and real for her character. I've said it before and i'll say it again, I'm sure, but you write Hermione SO WELL.

The conflict between the two factions of James and Sirius versus Snape really came to a head in this one and it was intense!! I was shocked when Hermione got in the middle of it - and not entirely surprised that she got hurt. I hope that incident makes James, Sirius and Snape think about how their behavior impacts others... though really just one of them will probably consider that at all :-/ Argh!

It was interesting to see Snape in such a different light than he has been in previous chapters - I mean, he actually asked Hermione if she was okay! yeah he was awkward about it, but this is like, leaps and bounds forwards for Snape, haha. And then he goes back to being a jerk, but he sort of almost redeemed himself in the end by being able to heal her (which totally makes sense, because certainly the person who invented Sectumsemptra probably would have invented something to counteract harmful spells as well as a precaution. That was almost a really sweet scene there at the end. As in, the healing was really sweet, only rendered less sweet by the fact that he likely caused that injury in the first place.

If you don't mind, I thought I'd point this out (just because sometimes typos are hard to catch after staring at words for so long!) There was one line that struck me as kind of awkwardly worded: “Why do you care?” she bit back with. -- maybe eliminate the "with" as it is kind of clunky to end sentences with prepositions.

Anyway! I loved this chapter! Congrats on over 5000 reads :D I'll definitely be back soon to read the latest chapter as well!! You are awesome and talented.

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Review #9, by marauderfanSweet Tooth: sweet as a rose

21st September 2015:
Hi Kayla! I just started reading this today and even though I didn't review the first chapter because I suck, I just had to comment on this chapter about how much I LOVE the way you've written each member of the Weasley family here. Ahahaha, George and Angelina teasing their kids, I could so see that happening! And George telling whichever kid that they're the favourite just so they'll help with his current scheme ahahaha so great. I also adored the sibling bickering, it was just so real and endearing. I could read a whole fic of your Fred and Roxanne just being annoying to each other.

What I love most is that you've done an incredible job of showing rather than telling - the personalities of the characters are so evident and I feel like I know them already! It's so great.

I'm really adoring this story so far! Can't wait to read on :)

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Review #10, by marauderfanThe Way Out of the Maze: The Way Out of the Maze

21st September 2015:
♥ ♥ Hi! I'm so glad to see this story here so I can review it and favourite it and tell you once again how much I loved it!

I've read that opening section like 6 times now and each time I'm still impressed by the writing style and how well you managed to convey Ariadne's state of mind and how the stress of the war is affecting her. Your descriptions are lovely and I really appreciated the maze theme as it links to the myth behind her name! :D

You also show Zacharias in such a sympathetic light and it's really neat to see him in that sense, from the point of view of someone who cares about him and appreciates him, rather than from Harry's POV as Harry didn't like him. It's funny, because he's just as annoying (like when he's teasing Ariadne about her future wedding), but seeing him from this point of view it's kind of endearing rather than obnoxious, so great job making me like a dislikeable character haha.

I also think you did a really good job showing the harsh reality of abusive relationships and how people end up staying in them and just how harmful they are - but how she doesn't notice as the abusive aspect creeps up on her gradually. I am so glad she got out of that one.

You also tied your story together really well with the themes of escape, and I know the choppiness of having multiple segments was something we were both working on a lot and so I just wanted to let you know that it came together cohesively and the theme is clear, with her trying to escape the relationship and the war but feeling powerless in regards to both things. It worked out really well!

This is an awesome story. It was so great working with you! :D I would probably still be in my writing slump and not have written anything for months if not for this collab :P Plus it was just really fun writing with you and exceeding all of our expectations! 10 points to Team Unreliability!


Author's Response: KRISTIN!!!
Did I mention that I love you? Yes, I think I did... A couple of times... :P

I think I work at my best with dream sequences and mazes... Should I ask myself some questions? Anyway, I'm so glad the description in that scene came out well! And that you liked it so much!!! And, well... the maze thing was your idea, so... :P

Ahahah! It's great to know that it worked that way! Zacharias through Ariadne's eyes surely is much more likeable, even if he's still a bit of a prat!

I must admit that aspect scared me a lot! For some reason I'm not sure about, I felt that should be what happened to her, but it was really difficult to write such a harsh reality without really knowing that much about it... Yes, fortunately she got out of it!!!

Oh, good!!! I'm so happy it worked out in the end!!! Thank you for your suggestions, they were really precious for making the story more cohesive and the escaping theme more clear!!!

Horray for Team Unreliability!!! You know how much I enjoyed working with you as well, you're awesome!!!

Tons, mountains, oceans of love!

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Review #11, by marauderfanPlay the Devil: Valkyrie

10th September 2015:
JENNA ♥ HI and also ksfhjdks I am so excited to see an upeate on this! and also congrats on your 100th review!! and also sorry for any typos as this is a phone review. okay, and now onto the story.

It's so different seeing Richard like this, which I assume is because of how long Rose was gone and how often Richard thought about her, he's especially affectionate now that he knows she won't be around forever. In this scene he was a lot more like the first time Rose met him for that brief moment.

Your ability to set the scene is really amazing and as always I loved the historical details in this one, as well as how you set up the dementors! I didn't think anything of the mist at first, or Rose being grumpy, but it just tied together so well. Great writing.

Nicholas Flamel - wow, that was a huge surprise! I forgot he'd have been alive at that era as well. And that makes the story so much richer, all these little canon things you add and how much overlap you've created between the HP world and the muggle world of that time period.

I love this story! (i probably sound like a broken record, but it's true) Wonderful chapter.

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Review #12, by marauderfanThis Final Adventure : Chapter 1

4th September 2015:
Meg! I feel like it had been ages since we did a review swap so I'm really glad I saw your post on the forums! And I was even more thrilled when I saw this is a Regulus fic. I absolutely love him as a character. also sorry in advance this review is on my phone so I apologise for any weird typos.

This starts at such a poignant moment, it is really wonderful and intense., because he knows at this point that he is walking towards his own death, but keeps going anyway. Ah! There is just so much courage in that moment. And I loved that you focused on all the little details he's noticing for the last time - it's a very sensory description with it being the feeling of the breeze, the sight of the sky, the smell of the sea (one of my favorite smells in the world). The little things that he has overlooked before and now is appreciating them because he never can again. And how he knows he'll never reach 20. gah! so sad! it was a really powerful moment though.

aw, and Kreacher. I've always thought they cared about each other a lot too, and this was just really sweet how the two of them are essentially friends. Poor Kreacher, he has no idea... :'(

That middle part was really powerful too, showing all that Regulus has turned his back on, and where he started his journey of self awareness - as being a proud death eater who was all about proving himself as a competent death eater even at a young age.

This is a great chapter Meg, and I am really eager to see how the story develops. and clearly I need to visit your AP more often. Thanks so mucbh for the swap!!

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Review #13, by marauderfanKeeping Secrets: Revelations

28th August 2015:
Hi Jayde ♥ Sorry in advance for any typos, this is a phone review.

I was so glad to see that you had posted an update on this! So many things happened in the previous chapters so it was really nice to have a chapter where everyone is trying to make sense of things and sort it out. While I was furious with Amelia before, I think this chapter defintely sheds a more sympathetic light on her, in that she really is doing what she thinks is right and has Liz's best interests at heart, even if she acts on it poorly. It was nice to see them just have a conversaton over tea and get all of their feelings and confusion out. Poor Liz though, she really got the short end of the stick as she is learning all of these things about her family and the darker side of the wizarding world mere hours after finding out that wizards exist - she's just kind of a mess of emotions and I don't blame her.

I liked the bit at the end when Amelia and Charlie came to some sort of understanding and were able to talk about muggle vs wizard life without blaming each other anymore.

How is Charlie going to reveal the other secret? I think the only thing to do is just go for it, kind of like ripping off a Band-Aid - just do it fast and get it over with. And since they're already airing out secrets at this point, he can't ask for better timing. Just do it, Charlie! (But he won't, will he? He'll have some sort of angsty deliberation about it first and wait too long. Because this is 'Keeping Secrets', not 'Revealing Secrets'! :p ) I'm really eager to find out what happens next!!

If you need any supportive nagging to help you keep writing, I would be more than happy to do so. :p Great work on this chapter, and I'm proud of you for powering through writers block and getting this writtten! MOAR PLZ

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Review #14, by marauderfanComplicated: In Which It All Goes Wrong

20th August 2015:
hi! I'm sorry I'm the worst reviewer eve because I have internet so sporadically, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm still reading and absolutely loving this story. I just love how well Olivia is being accepted into the group of Gryffindors. She and Al are adorable and I love how she's become so close with Rose and Louis as well. And she's even becoming closer with her family which is so wonderful. And then that ending oh my goodness! I was not expecting it at all and hjfdiksfh wow I wonder if it has anything to do with Cass' disappearance and I am just so full of questions. Anyway, I think you are a wonderful storyteller in terms of relatable characters and a well paced plot - i really can't wait until you update! Love it.

Author's Response: Noo don't apologise! I love your reviews, and as long as you're still reading and enjoying it I'm happy :)

Next chapter is up now. Thanks so much for taking the time to review xx

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Review #15, by marauderfanEvening Primrose: damp petals

15th August 2015:
Sorry about my snail pace but I am finally here for that review swap!

In general I'm not a huge fan of love-triangles but I decided to go for this story anyway, and I'm so glad I did, because this was gorgeous. The thing that stands out to me the most about this is the style. It's very lush and descriptive, and as I'm a person who absolutely adores details, I was just swooning at all your descriptions of Lily lying in that field of flowers, I could so easily imagine it! The way you intertwined her reflections on her relationship and the present moment of lying in the field are really beautiful.

Also, another really interesting point about the style is the use of entirely lower case letters. It's pretty unusual - I don't think I've ever seen it used to this extent in a fic before, but it's kind of cool because it's quite minimalist and gives off this tone of numbness and of everything just being the same, and honestly it just feels really appropriate in a fic where the narrator is lamenting the loss of love. It's really an interesting effect and I think it works!

The emotions are really where this story shines, as Lily's pain is so evident and my heart breaks for her as she's in this miserable state, comparing herself unfavourably with her cousin, being angry at her cousin, and hanging on to something that is over... none of which are very healthy of her but it feels like this is quite soon after the ending of her own relationship with Scorpius so it's understandable that she's still trying to come to terms with it all. I hope she is able to move forward soon.

if you don't mind, I did have a bit of cc, which is not intended to make you feel bad about your story - rather, it's just to help a great story become amazing! I noticed that there's a lot of flipping between present and past tense, even within sentences; here is an example of what I mean: i smiled at him, and a blush blooms on my cheeks -- the first half the sentence is past tense, and the second half in present tense. just something to look out for as you write, making sure that the tense of all the verbs matches up (except for flashbacks or whatever, things that are intentionally in other tenses)

Overall this is a really great story, and I love the descriptive imagery and stylistic choices. Well done and thanks for the swap :)

Author's Response: hi!!! /i/ should be sorry about my snail pace at replying to reviews aha
ok so firstly can i say, this was /everything/ i was looking in a review for this story. you got everything right and i love!!! you for that.
yes, im not a big fan of love triangles myself (i loathe them in fact aha) so even i was surprised when i was reading it over that how could i??? lol
im sooo glad you liked the style and the descriptions because this is the first time I've ever written something in a totally different style as i was going for minimalist and sort of an ethereal feel. and yay, the fact you thought the lower case letters were appropriate for the mood; im so glad to hear that! it felt odd to me but sort of fit ?? so i just went with it.
and aw ): i know, my heart was just into tiny pieces after I had finished writing it. my eyes were filled with tears lol ;o
and nooo, i definitely don't mind a bit of cc, i welcome it with open arms because im the worse at editing so pointing out my mistakes helps me /a lot/. and this did help me because thank you so much, I'll definitely look over the tenses thing! when i was revising the flash back part, i did feel something was wrong with it but i just couldn't put my finger on it aha so thank youuu. I'll definitely edit that (when im not feeling lazy .-.)
again: thank you sooo much for this wonderful, wonderful review!! (im a bit ashamed and sorry because my review was just /nothing/ compared to your beautiful one ._.) thank you xx

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Review #16, by marauderfanJarvey: Jarvey

14th August 2015:
Review swap!

I really love the Albus/Scorpius ship so had to read this one :) It was a really interesting read too, I don't think I've ever read a story featuring a Jarvey and gahahah I loved how you worked it into the plot - as I remember reading about them in the Fantastic Beast book Jarveys are just this ferret thing that uses a lot of foul language (lol, magical animals are SO FUNNY. Just visualizing a Jarvey is totally cracking me up XD ) and I loved the different approaches Albus and Scorpius had towards interacting with it - Albus trying to be nice to it, and Scorpius just meeting it where it is and being rude right back to it! Ahaha. The scene was just really charming.

And then the kiss! wow! I'll bet that was so confusing for Albus - and I really liked that it didn't go directly from hate to love - it was like hate to confusion which I think is much more realistic. The ending feels like the beginning of a lot of questioning for Albus and how he's maybe coming to some realisations or maybe just enjoys the experiment - either way I think it fits well for a reaction of a teenager and I'd be interested to see how the experience changes him or what happened because of this moment!

last but not least, I loved Albus' evasive comment to Rose. Haha.

Great fic! :) Thanks for offering reviews ♥

Author's Response: Thank you so much :) I am so thankful for these words this fic was hard to write and I was a bit nervous writing it! So I am thankful and glad you took the time to read and review it. So very kind :)

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Review #17, by marauderfanTwo Lilies: Unexpected attraction.

13th August 2015:
Oh, poor Lily - it must be so confusing for her - not only is she transported into a world she knows is fictional, but she's starting to fall in love - which is confusing enough, without adding in the fact that she feels like she's messing up a timeline or something. And I feel like this is only the beginning of a lot of confusion and complication with Lily and Remus, James, and probably Snape as well.

I like how you've written Remus- he's very unassuming and kind of shy, and guarding his secrets. His description of Lily (the witch Lily, not Muggle Lily) is so spot on and astute of him and I love the last bit about how she comes across as haughty because she's so much of a romantic and has really high expectations - that's totally what I'd imagined of her but never put words to it and I thought that was cool.

Also the details such as the portrait walking out of the frame and leaving Lily so confused with out any stationary landmarks in the corridor! THAT MUST BE SO CONFUSING! Can you imagine trying to pretend like you know your way around a school where things in the hallways move, and even the hallways and staircases themselves move?! I'm amazed no one has caught on that she's clueless. Probably because they're distracted that she's so extra-friendly with Remus :P

This was a great chapter!


Author's Response: KRISTIN!!!
Oh, thank you so much, honey!!!
It was such a sweet surprise to find this lovely review this morning!!! I love you!!!

Yes, everything is very confusing for her right now... I agree with you, falling in love is already confusing enough without being stuck in a fictional world she knows so little about. And one of the few things she does know is that her counterpart is supposed to marry someone else... I'm realizing now how crazy it all is...

I'm glad you liked Remus! He's my absolute favourite character!!! Unassuming and shy is a great description for him!

I'm so happy you liked his description of Lily, too! I always found that passage to be a bit boring to read, but at the same time I wwouldn't have known how to write it differently. I'm happy it fits with your idea of Lily, too!!!

Ahahah! Yes, that's pretty crazy, too!!! She's been lucky so far because she's never been alone wandering around the castle. Mary or Remus has always been with her... For the moment... I'm so happy you liked the detail of the portrait!!! :)

Thank you so so so much for another amazing review!!! You can't imagine how much it means to me to see you so enthusiast about this story!!! You are awesome!!!

Tons of hugs and kisses and an ocean of love!!!

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Review #18, by marauderfanPast Tense: fourth.

13th August 2015:
WOW THAT TWIST WHAT?! It sounds like she's really surprised by the information and I'm curious how much she knows about her grandfather already - like what side of the story her family has told her about him. aah!

Also, I love Steph's flatmates. Iskander trying to put a picture of magic on instagram haha. The blend of magical and Muggle in this is just really entertaining. Especially Steph's very anti-wizard stance - it's a different viewpoint than is usually seen in fanfiction (which makes sense because there isn't a lot written about Squibs). I loved it when she put the Floo Network setup on her own terms and refused to pay and made the wizards just leave. She's very internally strong and I think that's something she'll need as a Squib teaching at a school of magic, especially because prejudices don't vanish overnight and I'm sure there's still a lot of distrust or dislike of Squibs - her own family being an excellent example. :( And Madame Pince (or maybe she was just grumpy about someone else wanting to use her books... she is just kind of like that), and that portrait that Steph actually PUNCHED hahah.

things I'm looking forward to: seeing how Connor deals with the idea of wizards just throwing Latin phrases around right and left when they're just "appropriated" and not used properly haha.

I love this story!

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Review #19, by marauderfanMiddle Clouds: Belgian Truffles

13th August 2015:
Swap! (in slow motion)

Aw, I loved this chapter. Before I get to the main point of the chapter, I just want to say how much I love the fact that Parvati Patil is the new Divination teacher! It's so perfect. I loved the scene where she's explaining her lateness by saying that she had to watch whatever chaos Peeves was creating - it's exactly like something she would do as a teenager :D I feel like after this short scene I already can tell what she'd be like as a professor and I think she'd be awesome. I love how candid she is (about the class being easy) and her kind of disorganization makes her relatable to all the students, and I can see why they all like her! What a change from Professor Trelawney. (Also, Parvati now has even more alliteration in her name: Professor Parvati Patil! how cool is that! :P Sorry, I'm getting so off topic. Next...)

I love your use of details. Details are what bring a scene to life and even something as simple as Ruth flipping through the page corners - I can totally envision what sound that is, too. But throughout all your writing, I just love the specific details you point out. ♥

Ruth still seems like she's hiding something! She uses her information about Albus and Jem kind of as a way to distract Rose from her own secret. I feel like Ruth's unprecedented plans for Herbology will come to light soon though - there is a reason she's in the class and I'm so curious! Did she discover some unknown Herbology talent? Is she a Phytomagus? (that being a word I just made up for I guess the plant equivalent of an Animagus? CAN SHE TURN INTO A TREE? RUTH WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?

Rose finally apologized to Scorpius! Yes! *trumpet fanfare* It only took forever. And wow, the awkwardness in that scene was so tangible. I could feel it as I read, the awkwardness for both of them, and I love that about your writing - I really felt like I was there in that scene where the tedium of cleaning silver is just grating on them and Rose wants to talk just to get rid of the silence but how? It was just so well done. And that weather comment hahaha. I love that they made up at the end and they're willing to start over as friends. Rose made leaps and bounds forwards in this chapter realizing that Scorpius is not a jerk, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how Friendship Round II goes.

Thanks for the swap! I'm really enjoying this story!

Author's Response: Yes, yes, Parvati Patil is the perfect Divination teacher, I'm so glad you agree! :D I have such a strong headcanon about Parvati and really, how could she be anything BUT a Divination teacher? Anyway, I'm glad you could tell what she'd be like from this short scene - it was longer at first but then I had to cut some parts out because 7k words is a bit too much for a single chapter. :P And OMG, Professor Parvati Patil sounds so awesome, I didn't even realise until now!

Details, details, details everywhere - I love them too! Thank you for mentioning the page corners thing - I was so happy with that sentence. Sometimes I spend more time coming up with these unimportant things than the actual plot - but it makes my heart sing whenever someone mentions it in a review. Thank you!

A Phytomagus!!! That should be a thing! Honestly, I laughed so much at the 'CAN SHE TURN INTO A TREE?' bit. That would be perfect, though. Also a bit hilarious because what could she do, except for photosynthesis, which is pretty amazing, but not the most exciting activity. Anyway, yeah, I obviously can't say if she's a Phytomagus or not, but she's definitely up to something! :D

It only took forever - hahaha! But really, it did take forever and I'm so relieved this part of the story is over! Actually, I keep trying to come up with a way to get rid of these two, so that I can focus on my OC's and random details, but I think the story would be a bit incomplete without its main character.

I am very happy, though, that you could feel their awkwardness. I love writing awkward scenes, in which the characters don't always have a witty remark at ready, but instead act like real, slightly confused human beings. It's honestly so gratifying to hear that you felt like you were in the room with them, so thank you, really, thank you so much!

I am so excited about Friendship Round II as well! Not to be all 'you should totally read my next chapter' but there will be some fun scenes ahead, and frankly, I'm glad to part ways with angst for a while. :)

Thanks for the swap, Kristin. I'm glad I finally started reading Icarus (and I plan to review the rest shortly!) and also I love love love your reviews. Thank you again!

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Review #20, by marauderfanIn Fields of Poppies: War Stories

11th August 2015:
Swap!! I was so excited to come back to this story, I remember really loving the first chapter.

The first thing I wanted to comment on was your impressive transitions! I thought it was really cool how you linked the last phrase of each section with the first phrase of the next - it made it flow really nicely rather than being choppy as it could have been.

It's also kind of cool how you arranged it so that this chapter is like the first taste of the war for all of them - Lily's father and grandfather adjusting to their new life as a member of the armed force and hiding in a trench where there are dangerous things and not a lot of time to sleep, and how Lily is seeing the first of what will eventually become a war (although at the moment it's just the beginning and not a war yet, but the ideas that fueled the later war are already causing disagreements between students). The parallels are set up really well.

Poor Lily, realising that her best friend won't always have her back and that Severus' friends see her as so much lower and unimportant. But I liked how assertive she was standing up to Avery by the second section - clearly their words aren't affecting her own self-worth and she knows she's in the right - good for Lily! You go girl!

Gah, that part about how the soldiers in the war tried to detach themselves and not get too attached to their fellow soldiers because those friends might die - ugh, that really got me. :(

It's interesting the way you've framed this chapter about Lily seeking the stories her father and grandfather didn't tell as often - which is making me wonder if the 1916 and 1940 segments are pieces of stories they're telling, or whether it's just another timeline being told concurrently - either way I think makes an interesting story. I'm really eager to keep reading and see how the stories unfold as each of them get deeper into the wars and everything that comes along with that. This is such an original idea for a story and I love it so far.

Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for swapping with me!

I'm glad you liked the beginning, I debated a little bit on where to start with Lily, and decided this made the best parallels. Glad that came across!

I hadn't thought about the other sections being interpreted as parts of stories Lily had heard-- which I probably should have. I've intended them to be the reality of the situations, which will probably become a bit more clear as the story progresses.

Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #21, by marauderfanA Study in Silver: Prologue: The Lodger

11th August 2015:
Taaag! I have had my eye on this story for SO LONG wanting to read it, but unfortunately haven't had access to a computer and the idea of reading it on my tiny phone screen was really not inviting so I am thrilled that I'm able to read it now and that I happened to be reminded to do so when I saw your post in review tag. Anyway, enough of my rambly introductions and on with the story!

Hehe. Diurn Alley. :D Also 'quixotic' - that's one of my favourite words.

My amusement at words aside, I just love this chapter. It has everything I have come to expect from your writing: quirkiness that fits SO WELL with the HP-verse, incredible attention to detail, and a thoughtfully planned out plot (that last one in particular is something I really admire.) You've included just enough to make me curious, and to make me feel like I know the characters, at least a little, but you've left a lot of mystery in - like why Roxanne was fired from her last job? and I want to know more about Perry Hume? And HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD??!?! AT WRITING ALL THE THINGS?!

I love the Sherlock Holmes stories and I just CANNOT. WAIT. to see how this story goes and how you adapt it into the magical world - this basically ties together two things I love and aah! I'm so excited.

Pedantic things: an arrow pointed to an ancient-looking chord -- I think you want this to say 'cord' (as in the rope you pull), because 'chord' with an 'h' is a musical chord.

I will most definitely be back to read more of this. I'm stoked that you're writing another novel(la). Love this!! 1000/10

Author's Response: AH! HELLO! Oh I'm so excited that you dropped by this story! If I remember correctly, you were one of the people that encouraged me to give this wacky little idea a shot. Thank you for that! I ended up having a LOT of fun writing it :)

Quixotic is one of my fave words too! And heheheheh, "Diurn Alley." That was actually an idea I got way back in Y5 but couldn't find a way to rope in.

Oof, Plot. I'm so glad you appreciate it, because it's the thing I struggle with the absolute most. The only reason this story even has a coherent one to begin with is that I pre-wrote the whole thing and could experiment with it. Starting out, I had NO idea what the plot was and just threw things out there randomly. Like, I'd introduce a clue even though I had no idea what it might mean. At this point while drafting, I'm not sure even I knew what happened at St. Mungo's :P [I PROMISE I DO NOW]

Ooh thanks for the spelling note! I always do that!

Heh, this was originally planned as a short story (like 4 chapters tops), but it refused to cooperate and kept stretching longer and longer. It very nearly became a novel-length, and is on the long end for a novella, but I've come to really appreciate novellas. They're short enough where they need the same care and attention as a short story (and where problems don't have as much girth to hide behind), but long enough that you can do something Big and Involved with them.

Anyway YEE thank you so much for the review!


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Review #22, by marauderfanSentience : Debate

11th August 2015:
Hi Kaitlin - I'm here for the review swap! This story instantly grabbed my attention because I've never read a story about manticores before and I loved the idea of them being sentient and just all the interesting points that brings up.

First things first, I must admit I was really surprised it could talk - honestly I didn't even know manticores had a human head. I thought they were like a weird scorpion-lion combo that was maybe a bit crablike? I really don't know where I got this image of them because when I looked up what they were supposed to look like it's totally different from my mental image of them so thank you for increasing my knowledge of mythical beasts - or, I should say, beings!

What I liked most about this story was that it made me think a lot - it was about more than just a manticore meeting the Wizengamot. In the beginning I was thinking a lot about animals' feelings - like, as humans we can't even comprehend the types of feelings a cat or dog or a raven has. We know they are intelligent, but since they can't talk to us using the words we ascribe to mean certain things, and because we can't become a cat or anything, we don't know how they feel or how their thoughts work. I know this is such a tangent from your story but this is what your story made me think about, so that was really cool.

Also, I appreciated how the struggle of the manticore to be seen as someone with value and rights and how it echoed the struggle of many minority groups in human history and how those in power sometimes restrict the power of other groups by classifying them as 'lower' and taking away rights - and the fact that you were bringing up all these issues in a fanfiction about a manticore is impressive so props to you.

I know I've gotten off topic for most of this review and gone all philosophical and haven't really talked about your story at all - sorry - but I do really appreciate when writing makes me think about things outside of the writing and how it ties into real issues so thank you.

Relating to the story though - I knew from the beginning that that smart witch was Hermione and I'm so glad it was - it absolutely seems like something she would do, to start branching out into rights for other oppressed groups in addition to house elves. And Kingsley is the sort of person who I could totally see as the voice of reason wanting all other voices to be heard. I was so glad the manticore was granted 'Being' status at the end! And that it then goes to visit Hagrid. I mean, of course. Hagrid would be be friends with a manticore :D

Awesome job with the twist on perspective and playing with perceptions - this was a great read! Well done :)

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Review #23, by marauderfanLying Josephine: Brave Face, Kid

1st August 2015:
Tanya! Words can't even begin to describe how excited I was when I saw this had been updated!! Congrats on finishing a new chapter :) And once again you've done such an incredible job. I'm afraid my review won't really do it justice - there's so much I want to say and compliment but I'm typing this on my phone in one of those rare, brief occasions when I have internet. So while I can't go into the amount of detail you deserve, let me just say this was an incredible chapter. I love Josephine as a character and it was just so painful to read that last section when she's suffering silently and tells George that silence can be a cry for help. Wahh :-( and how their methods of trying to cope are so opposite but both really understandable. I think it would help Josephine a lot to learn how to release her feelings instead of keeping everything inside, and George could learn to not release his pain as anger at the nearest person - and in that respect I think their friendship (or whatever it is) will be immensely helpful in helping them change and grow as they deal with such an intense loss. One particulat line in this section stood out to me - a poorly choreographed duet of solos - I just love this as it's a beautiful description and so vivid. What perfect imagery. just aah. I loved it.

The first section was really intense! Things are really changing as the story works itself towards the battle of Hogwarts and I'm really interested to se how they managed things during that year and Josephine's part in it all.

I just love this story and I wish I could leave a better review but my thumbs are tired from this tiny keyboard so I will just conclude by stating: You are an incredible writer and I love the way you write characters and make them so real. the way you convey their emotions is amazing. And your writing of the twins, both in humorous situations and somber ones, make me wonder if you are actually JKR herself. I will continue to hound your AP and maybe send you annoying yet persuasive PM's until you finish chapter 7 because I'm so eager to read on and because you know how much I dislike even numbers.

Love this story (and you)!

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Review #24, by marauderfanThe Death Of Sir Nicolas: Tusks

12th July 2015:
hi kaitlin! this review if for the house cup, hufflepuff. also i apologise i am typing this on my phone which is why the lack of capitalised letters and the very probable typos.

this is a great story! i've never read a story about nearly headless nick before and to be honest i really love stories told by narrators who are dead. this was quite sombre for nick, who in the books we see as such a happy comical ghost, and here is one of his rare phrases when he's not. i guess after 500 years, it's hard to be so positive all the time. but wow, how unfortunate that it was all only only because he was trying to help someone! also, i'm pretty sure eveeyone has at some point done something embarrasing in front of someone they like, but to have the consequence be a badly executed (pun intended) beheading, thats pretty rough. poor nick. i really love how you described the doors to life and beyond, and his reaction and decision! and how his desire for not dying is something he's changed his mind about over time. this is a great fic. well done!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks so much for stopping to review this!

So when I decided to write about Nearly Headless Nick, I had no idea what his cannon back story was. The whole incident with Lady Grieve is actually cannon. I just sort of filled in the story.

Yeah, Nick is usually more positive and I think he puts on the happy face to be around the children, but I have to imagine that this whole incident still haunts him. (pun intended)

I'm glad you enjoyed my version of the afterlife. I figured that he probably wouldn't end up at Platform 9 3/4 since that didn't exist in his time. :D

Thanks again!


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Review #25, by marauderfanOn Crumbling Lives: Hurt

10th July 2015:
Swap! I'm back to read more of this one!

From the beginning of this I just love what you've done with Pansy. You haven't redeemed her as a character - she's still the same shallow, petty girl from the books, but she's so much more here, and more three dimensional. The part about how she cared for Astoria was really touching, and I think makes her so much more human.

This was such an intense chapter though - wow! Seeing the students torture one another for detention - especially when the detention was for something ridiculous like 'weakness' is just so horrible to read - they're still just kids! And this is the sort of thing that will stick with them for years. So awful.

Daphne was interesting in this chapter, and I think she crossed a bridge she can't un-cross. Before, she was good at playing it cool and just doing what she was told to do, and had become so desensitized to it, but when it came to Astoria, Daphne seemed to really cut herself off from one side - she can't pretend to be the Carrows' best student anymore, because she actually told them she's against them. After that, can she still pretend to be as uninvolved as she was before? I'm so glad she stood up to defend Astoria. And now it's a really interesting setup with Daphne's character such that I can't possibly predict what she's going to do next.

And Luna ♥ I love her, and this just made me feel so terrible for her! She is so strong and so kind - and she'd definitely stick her neck out for people like this.

And poor Astoria, having to witness all that. I mean, we got an idea of how bad things were at Hogwarts from Neville's brief description of it and his bruised face, but this is just heartbreaking to read. It's very well done though.

You mentioned that you were worried how the violence came across, and while it was a very violent chapter, it definitely made its point and it was fittingly chilling. Well done - and thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Hi there Kristin! Thanks so much for the review!

I'm really glad you liked this chapter as I'm still so insecure about it! The violence was very, very new to me, so I'm still so worried about how I did portraying it.

And Pansy! She, along with many other Slytherin characters, seems to be one-dimensional in the books. But I don't believe any person is pure evil, so I've tried to sort of turn her into a real person here. She certainly doesn't fart rainbows and kindness now, but she isn't a heartless wench either. She makes a reappearance in the next chapter...

And this is definitely a huge turning point for Daphne. She's not one for the spotlight, but this event has definitely cast a very, very bright light on her. She can't hide anymore.

And Luna and Astoria too. Luna has always been brave and wonderul. I just did what JK Rowling's brilliant character would have done. But Astoria, this is a big turning point for her too. Daphne told her that they'd be safe, but already, that's not true. Things are definitely changing for these girls!

Thanks again for dropping by!


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