Reading Reviews From Member: marauderfan
  
1,407 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfanThe Fifth House: History

30th April 2016:
You come up with the best names! Mr Diatomungi :P I always thought it hilariously convenient that the Hogwarts Herbology professor's surname is Sprout. I mean, her future was basically determined for her. I guess Mr Diatomungi could have gone in a number of different directions but it was always going to involve autotrophic life forms. I assume his surname is a combination of diatom and fungi? If not, sorry about this nerdy tangent and now we're back to our regularly scheduled review :P

Wait, no, one more comment about names. Marigold doesn't know anything about Herbology. I love the irony :P

Why doesn't Willow want to talk to Lef? They ended up working together in class and Lef was her first friend, but now Willow acts like they don't know each other. I hope she learns at one point to not trust the older Gryffindors because they seem to say nothing but lies :(

I loved the way you approached the history of magic lessons. Just because Professor Binns is as boring as cardboard doesn't mean history is boring, and I've always felt that the best way to get people involved in learning is to get them involved in it rather than just listning to a lecture or reading a book. Mr Zolock's method for teaching history is brilliant and I like how he's encouraging his students to see both sides, because history is always written by the victors and all that and it's so easy to skew it, but he seems to be not only taking a broad perspective of it but also making it interesting. His class sounds cool.

I wonder what the dream was about! So weird. I think it's going to be important later!

Awesome work on this chapter!

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Review #2, by marauderfanEvolution: The Price of Popularity

30th April 2016:
The flowers... haha, James is such a cheeseball.

wow, as for the rest of it though, poor Katie. To be just an average girl, not popular, not unpopular, just average - and then to suddenly be the most talked about person at school, and none of it good, that's got to be so difficult. I hope this perception of all the whispers is just because we're seeing the situation through Katie's eyes, and not because literally every girl at school has nothing to talk about other than gossip about a boy :P And those girls in the library were totally giving Hufflepuff a bad name. Don't they know Hufflepuff is the house for the nice people? For shame, Rebecca! I hope the gossip calms down soon. I guess gossip usually does calm down once people find something else to talk about, so that's good at least!

I think James and Katie's discussion at the end was really well written. She's hesitant to be vulnerable and talk about things that really bother her because she doesn't want to be whiny and also doesn't want to hurt James, because a lot of it wasn't particularly nice about him either. And he's ashamed of some of his past and how it's landed her in this situation. But the way they talk about it is a very 'we're in this together' sort of way, as they both know it's a rough situation but they'll help each other through. They're already going through some difficulties but the way they respond to it says a lot, and they're supportive of each other. I think it bodes well for them in the future.

This was a great chapter!

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Review #3, by marauderfanEvolution: One Day in November

30th April 2016:
I do really like Katie. She has a lot of integrity, and it's been evident in earlier chapters but especially clear here, as she's preparing for her date - she is who she is, and isn't going to change who she is for the sake of becoming the image she thinks another person wants her to be. She's so right - if he doesn't like her as she is, she can find someone who does.

And I like that James appreciates that about her too - he noticed she just looked like herself.

In this chapter it feels like where the reader is first getting to really know what Katie is like as a person, and that she's not going to be just a plot device, but an important character in her own right.

Their date was really cute - who knew James could play the violin? Kudos to him for originality :P James and Katie really are cute together and have a lot of chemistry. I hate that you're going to break them up eventually. :P But I'm sure you'll have good reasons, canon being the most obvious one haha

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Review #4, by marauderfanEvolution: Aftermath

30th April 2016:
I'm back, as promised! I loved the prank idea with the notes. That sounds like such a nice prank, (never thought I'd use those two words together) with them sending notes of compliments to everyone. Though I do wonder how complimentary the notes to the Slytherins actually were. Like what would they write to Snape? "Dear Snivelly, your hair didn't look as greasy as usual today. Keep up the good work." :P

Lily kept the note from James in her book! And she's hiding it from her friends! Ahh! I know it doesn't mean she likes him yet- far from it - but she is definitely thinking about him a lot more than she used to, and what's more, hiding that fact from her friends.

Ah, I suspected Remus had figured James out. As someone who keeps such a big secret himself, he probably can tell when other people are keeping secrets, and James isn't really subtle. But Remus calling James out on pursuing someone as a cover story will probably get James to make some decisions. I mean, James certainly does seem to like Katie, even if he chose her as a cover story. And she actually likes him too, which must be pretty encouraging. Poor James though, it's really evident in this exchange how uncomfortable he is with his secrets being exposed, while Remus just kind of figures things out nonchalantly :P

great chapter!

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Review #5, by marauderfanThe first kiss is grand...: The first kiss is grand...

30th April 2016:
Chiara ♥ You wrote a new story, and as a TA! *throws confetti* Congrats on your first chapter as a TA! :D

ahh from the first line I'm in love! That's such a good song and I love the cover of it in Moulin Rouge ♥

And it's in second person! Haha, it's like you got a checklist of things I love and then put them all into this story :P

Aw, awkward James :3 As much as he manages to muck it up, he is able to recover and say what he needs to say, and doesn't totally ruin everything. And she feels the same way! ♥ this scene is just too cute for words. adorable.

Lily and her roommates dancing around was such a sweet scene, I loved it! And the bit when Marlene says James is waiting for her and she dashes out while her friends are just like :O haha that was really amusing. Lily's been keeping some secrets very well! But now it's all out in the open.

You've always believed he was only playing with you, you've always believed you weren't good enough for someone like him. That's the true reason you've rejected him for so long. It was your way to protect yourself, -- oh man I relate to this so, so much. I'd never really thought of low self esteem being a main factor in why Lily constantly rejected James, but since you mention it, I can see it - with James' reputation and popularity he'd be kind of intimidating in a way, and she wouldn't know whether or not she can believe him when he asks her out all the time.

This was such a wonderful fic, Chiara! So fluffy and cute :D :D :D Really excellently written, as well. I particularly liked the opening few lines about blue and green and the different things it makes James think about - that imagery was incredible and beautiful. Great work!!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: Aww, Kristin!!!
What did I do to deserve such an amazing friend like you???

Thank you so much! Don't you feel proud of being the first reviewer of my first story as a TA? :P So glad you enjoyed it!!!

I love that song too!!! And Moulin Rouge is one of my favourite movies!!! (*cough* Ewan McGregor *cough*)

Well, that's what I did, of course! Ahahah, kidding!!! I love second person too!!!

Awkward James is the cutest! (or maybe not... Remus still remains the cutest, but awkward James is nearly there! :P) I'm glad you found the scene sweet!!!

It's always fun to include some girlish camaraderie! And yes, Lily can't hide her secret feeling anymore... ;)

I always thought she felt that way. James being so popular, probably craved by half the girls in school, and not being known as the most sensible person around would make her doubt the seriousness of his intentions. But we know he was sincere. :D

Aww, thank you!!! I'm so, so glad you enjoyed this story! And the imagery at the beginning! You are the best reviewer ever!!!

Tons of love,
Chiara


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Review #6, by marauderfanHero: The Descent into Hell

30th April 2016:
I'm still so annoyed with Hero for being dense enough to fall for Tom Riddle. Emory can see right through him, and it's not just because she's Muggle-born. She can sense that something's off about him, which Hero can't really see, because she's too focused on how Tom is attractive and doting and a pureblood and someone her parents would approve of.

Hero's relationship with her parents is so sad because it's clear she disagrees with them about a lot of things but still craves their love. Maybe because she's a Gryffindor and that has already got points against her, so she feels like she has to make up for that. I don't know. Anyway, it's sad.

I feel so bad for Emory too, and the fact that Hero was to wrapped up in her own world to ask her best friend what was going on just makes me sad. I mean, I like Hero, but I'm just very annoyed at her lately for being oblivious :P I have an uneasy feeling that something bad is going to happen to Emory too. Although maybe now that Hero knows she neglected her best friend and didn't know about the breakup for a week, maybe she'll start being more tuned in? Time will tell I guess.

"De- Noah"? Uh huh. I KNOW WHO NOAH REALLY IS. And I think I know Darcy's real name too, because it's probably not actually Darcy. I'd tell you my predictions but I don't want to get in trouble for spoilers again :P (sorry!)

Sebastian! Nooo :( Tom has been careless in supervising the basilisk lately I guess, if it's going after just anyone.

awesome chapter!

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Review #7, by marauderfanThe Quidditch Boot Camp for Troubled Teens: Team-Building

30th April 2016:
Oh no, I hope she's okay! If she got a concussion or something she's going to be snapping at James for a long time. And Grant as well, because she doesn't seem to like him either. So I hope for her sake, and for the sake of the team unity, that she's okay :P

That flashback in the beginning was scary! I wonder who the man was and how she got out of that situation, or if it was a nightmare, or what. And who she was running with. The only next gen character I know for sure has bright green eyes would be Albus, but I can't really see that person being him. (Well, other people do have green eyes too I guess :P )

That tent sounds amazing. My life would be so much easier if I lived in a tent like that rather than the kind that gets blown down in strong wind while you're in it. Wizards know how to camp in style! I mean, a kitchenette. And a FIREPLACE. In the tent. Legit. Their tent is basically a house, but it's bigger on the inside! :P Does the fireplace ever catch the canvas on fire? I suppose they've found ways around that too because magic.

Have I mentioned that I love their team name? I think it's second only to the team "Black Like Our Hearts" hahahaha.

I'm really looking forward to seeing how the team moves past all these interpersonal struggles and bickering and learns how to successfully work together.

Loving this story! Great writing, as always :D

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Review #8, by marauderfanThe Quidditch Boot Camp for Troubled Teens: Team Purple

30th April 2016:
Leigh! This story is awesome so far - I love the idea of it. Mic's narrative voice is super enjoyable, and I just love seeing things through her lens.

Oh man, the whole thing about having to choose a team name and then drawing a team flag - this is so great to read about because I used to work at a place that did summer trips/camps and we had all the participants do the exact same thing. (I guess this makes me the Weasel in the situation?) but I just loved watching Mic and co. go through this process and here you showed like all the reactions I always saw from teenagers doing this in real life. At first they'd be really quiet and no one would volunteer anything, because it's like, sooo uncool :P and then they'd start to get silly and get really into it. So that whole bit just rings really true with me and I adore it!

I wonder what James did to end up there - I assume that's something I'll find out as I read on. I'm curious to know everyone's stories.

Anyway, I can totally see why this was nominated for story of the month and I'm glad that gave me the impetus to read it. I love this so far and I'll definitely be reading on! :)

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Review #9, by marauderfanEvolution: Celebration

30th April 2016:
Another great chapter! (of course)

I love how you're setting up the eventual Katie/James ship. I ship them already. I mean, I know it won't work out, but I can still float this ship for a little while at least. I like how she can see right through James, and gets him to admit things he wouldn't ordinarily - like the fact that he needs help with the decorating. She's supportive yet also doesn't take any of his act about how he's so cool he doesn't need help. She sees the human in him rather than the Legendary Quidditch Star/Marauder persona he's trying to cultivate. I think she's good for him.

And Lily! I really loved that scene between her and James. The fact that he listens to her and acts on it really shows a step in maturity, which Lily was so unprepared for haha. Definitely gives her a lot to think about, even though at this point she's not really aware that he is trying to improve, she just is really confused and can't figure him out yet, because this current behaviour of James' is just an anomaly in a history of careless rulebreaking. Remus, I think, has figured out a lot more than he lets on. He's a perceptive one.

Since you made a note about POV shifts at the end, I just wanted to say that I like them. It provides a really rounded picture of what's going on as a whole. In this chapter particularly, you have the POV shifts separated into sections, which I think works a lot better than the previous chapter which kind of drifted between Lily and James and the commentator without being in separate, clear sections, so I think this chapter is better organized. Eh, my 2 cents. Regardless, I like the shifts :)

I will be back with more reviews later but right now it's really late at night and my reviews will turn to gibberish if I keep going now :P Can't wait to keep reading tomorrow.

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Review #10, by marauderfanEvolution: Just a Game

29th April 2016:
Hi Kevin! You're on the hot seat, congrats! So it's really about time I got back to reading this story. I'm starting here on chapter 8 though, because I reviewed the first 7 chapters a while ago, as Voldemort... So without further ado, here goes!

What an exciting chapter! I do really love Quidditch match chapters :D Lily in the beginning kind of reminds me of Hermione, though I think a large part of the reason Hermione wasn't interested in flying was because she wasn't good at it, and I can't tell yet if that's the case with Lily. Regardless, despite that she's less than enthused about the prospect of watching people 'just flying about on brooms' she goes with her friends to support them, and the Gryffindor team... if somewhat begrudgingly, she did at least go.

I really like Katie, and I can see why James likes her too! That girl is a firecracker! I laughed when she essentially guilt tripped Lily into staying out there. I mean, front row seats. You don't just get up and leave. :P

I thought it was interesting how the chapter is mostly narrated by the Quidditch commentator, and I think it works well in this situation because then it's kind of simultaneously what Lily and James are experiencing - though it did drift more into James' thoughts during the match than Lily's. (Which is probably good - Lily's thoughts would have probably been a lot like 'ugh how has it only been two minutes since I last looked at my watch?'

James is such a trooper here playing quidditch even with that gnarly of an injury. And staying afterwards to thank the Gryffindor stands rather than going off to deal with his injury. It's very selfless of him - like, he's acknowledging all the many people who came out to see the team play and thanking them for their time. I like that. Shows he's not as selfish and conceited as Lily says he is - and the comparison is only too funny considering Lily selfishly wanting to leave in the middle of the match :P

A great chapter and it feels so good to come back to this fic. I really loved it when I was reading before and I'm so glad the hot seat reminded me to make time and come back!

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Review #11, by marauderfanPlay the Devil: All the Devils

29th April 2016:
JENNAAA. You're back AND there's a new chapter! Just so much to be happy about :D
After the misogyny at the end of the last chapter I was ready to punch Clarence, which would probably have resulted in my computer in shards on the floor so I'm glad Richard told Clarence to get out. I'm sure Rose would have done something pretty impressive and drastic in a matter of seconds if Richard hadn't interfered.

And the long-awaited story about Scorpius and Rose finally comes out! I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. Yeah, I'd be pretty mad at Scorpius too after something like that, first the animal abuse and then trying to kiss Rose's best friend to annoy Rose. But most of all it didn't really seem like that was the one event that really broke them apart. The way Rose talks about it, it kind of feels like they'd been falling apart for a bit before, and that was just what cemented it. Yeah, Rose was petty to play the Death Eater Card, because it's not relevant and probably something Scorpius hears a lot, but what he did has no excuse. Ugh. I can certainly understand all the bitterness that she still holds on to after the end of their relationship.

So at this point Richard knows that Rose is a witch. How is Rose going to know when to tell him, because she hasn't actually told him yet, she just travelled to a place further in time where he already knows? This story always makes me wonder about the intricacy of time travel and how complicated it is to go back and forth through different times and to not know what people already know about you at any given point (I hope that made sense :P )

Interesting at the end as well, I know the idea of what constitutes a scandal is a lot more encompassing in those days and certainly just sitting in the garden together is a scandal. Interesting that that is a scandal yet people were constantly cheating on each other, many men having mistresses, and many women being mistresses. It seems that no matter what Richard and Rose do, there's bound to be scandal.

Great chapter! I'm so glad to see you back and writing again :)

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Review #12, by marauderfanMarry Me: Marry Me

24th April 2016:
*Zooms in on the slowest jetpack of all time* Hi Gabbie! I'm here with your requested review!

You seem to have a knack for writing this broken, vulnerable Draco, and here he's at his most vulnerable, lying in bed with a cold, still regretting his past actions and who he used to be, and worrying if he can face his father. I really love how you've written all these layers to him. And despite how much he's changed and how he's kind of got this perpetual angst cloud over him about his regret of his side in the war, he doesn't seem out of character. He still has these flashes of the old Draco, with all his stuffy dignity and his teasing, and Pansy is easily able to keep up with him. I loved the dialogue between the two of them, by the way. It felt really natural like people who've known each other so long that they can say just about anything to one another.

Especially wonderful is how you write Pansy. Rather than being the vain, mean spirited girl from the books, she's grown up as well. She still teases Draco, and kind of gets her own way in their bickering, but it's easy to see there's no mean intent there as she's taking care of him at his home. The way you balanced her caring, selfless side with the snarky, bold Pansy we know was a really lovely characterization. Like Draco, she has moments where she's the same as before, but mostly is a very changed person.

I kind of wonder about Pansy at the end, after Draco just dumped all of this on her. Like, she didn't even want to kiss him, and then he proposed. It must be pretty overwhelming for her. But given that she seems cool with it in the end, I guess it worked out all right and Draco's going out on a limb there was successful. He was definitely very honest there in that last scene which is something I don't usually associate with Draco, but I think that after all he went through with the war, and having someone like Pansy there voluntarily taking care of him, he knows what he wants to be now.

My CC would be that sometimes the speaker of dialogue can get lost in narration, like here as an example: I'm too weak to even stand up at the moment and if you were really concerned about me, you would lose that tone. Draco eventually grumbled. Pansy merely quirked her brow, I haven't been demanding with wanting company and respect. -- At first I thought the second dialogue was Pansy, because she's the one mentioned at the beginning of the sentence, but the speaker is still Draco for both. I'd suggest re-clarifying the speaker on the occasions that you talk about someone else in the narration. :)

Anyway, really lovely work on this, Gabbie! I love the way you continue to develop both of these great characters and explore their personalities so much. Great writing :D

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Thank you for stopping by with this review, there is nothing wrong with being a little late! Hahaha.

I honestly love writing this version of Draco and I really think that it's becoming a hobby of mine to make him cry. Hahaha.

I've talked about him being like this before in other stories so it's really fun to show this side of him. Draco is a great character to write and I enjoy making him dwell on who he was and who he wants to be.

He's been broken and shattered apart by the decisions he made during the War and so he's still just suffering with how to move forward in his life.

There are still some old parts of himself that I think I really like too. Draco will be a stuff brat on one hand and tease Pansy on the other simply because he can. Hahah. There's no real malice between them but I think that Pansy just offers a harsh dose of reality that he desperately needs.

Pansy has known him for most of her life so I would think that their banter would be filled with the sort of comfort that only old friends can give. She's snarky and a little mean towards him but you can tell that she cares about him.

You know, I was conflicted about the ending because I feel like I didn't express Pansy's emotions about the whole thing well enough. I think that I might go in and change that because it feels like she just got it all dumped on her. Hahahah.

Draco did show some bravery by asking her though and it came from a genuine place. He wants to try and be the best for Pansy and I think that matters more than anything. I don't think that you see vulnerable sides to him very often so it was great to write him like this.

Thanks for the CC and the awesome review, it really made my day! :D

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #13, by marauderfanHero: The Kiss

23rd April 2016:
Nooo Hero had come so far, and was angry at Tom and why couldn't she stay that way?!?! Why did she have to forgive him? THIS IS BAD VERY BAD OH NOOO *bites nails* I just... agh. I'm so angry at her for forgiving him, but at the same time I can't bring myself to be angry because she has no idea who he really is.

Finn is the worst. that is all.

I do really like Sebastian though. Poor kid. He's at the age where he's easily persuaded to be one thing or another, and I'm glad Hero stepped in to sway him away from following Finn's path.

Oh, and Morgan. I really like him, and I think he'd be good for Hero, and it just breaks my heart that she lets him down like that because she DOES like him and it's all just because of what her parents would say. But... at the same time, I don't really ship them because I know something bad would happen to Morgan if they were to be together. You know, because I am still convinced Noah's death was intentional.

Ugh Tom alskdjfkasjdf I just wish she could see past the charm. I think you've done really well showing how people idolize him and just really love him though and how the notion that he's The Heir of Slytherin wouldn't even cross anyone's mind. He's quite good at acting, and I just wish I knew what his ulterior motive was with Hero. Because I know there is an ulterior motive, and I'm sure it's not good. I am convinced he doesn't actually *like* her, he's just using her.

Such a good chapter, even though I'm frustrated at all the characters haha. Keep up the great work ♥

Author's Response: Hi Kristin!

Sorry for the anxiety! But not really, because I'm evil.

I'm glad you like Sebastian because I do too, and I agree Morgan would be perfect for Hero, if only she'd let him!

What's this? You think Tom Riddle has an ulterior motive? Whatever makes you think such a thing? ;)

Thank you so so much, my dear! ♥


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Review #14, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: Show must go on

23rd April 2016:
Aw. James trying to be persuasive and failing yet again :P At least he seems to have had some success with Lily, finally.

Oh Remus. I am not even surprised anymore when he blames himself for everything. I wish he wouldn't, of course, and he does have three people who already constantly tell him not to blame himself, but that's just Remus being Remus. I had to laugh though at everyone else's reactions when he starts going on about Romeo and Juliet being real and this curse and how he read a diary in 16th century Italian five times and everyone's like "ummm...what"

Very like James to go help a friend in need rather than bother with his responsibility as lead in the play. Remus needed him more.

Chiara sent a letter! Wait, it's been 2 months now? How did she not do this earlier?!?! Ahh, and she wants to meet on the night of the full moon. Noo!! Her timing is awful :P At least the other three will be there. But Remus will be all alone! Couldn't they have had two people with Remus and one person meeting with Chiara? I'm glad she's telling people what happened, at any rate. Though I feel like it would have been easier to write a note saying, "Hey Remus. I'm the bird that delivered this letter." and then deliver it XD Many secrets about to be spilled, though...

Also, I feel like it's appropriate to mention here due to that A/N about your birthday and the fact that this story contains so many references to Shakespeare - Happy birthday to William Shakespeare! (...and also his death day, incidentally)

Great chapter! :D *hugs*

Author's Response: Hi again, sweet Kristin!
Yes, poor James... well, he's trying at least. And yes, Lily is starting to change her mind... :)

That's Remus. But we love him the way he is, right? Ahahah! Yes, I guess his friends would find it all quite crazy... :P

Typical James, running to his friend's aid and forgetting everything else! Once again, that's the way we love him!!!

She could've made it easier in many ways... but I wouldn't have the same evil-writer fun, if you know what I mean... :P Many secrets about to be spilled, definitely. As for Remus being alone... well, I agree with you that they could've organized this better. There's more about this in the next chapter. ;)

It was Shakespeare's birthday? Really? Happy belated birthday to William Shakespeare, then! :D

Thank you so much for another wonderful review!!! And the hugest snowball hug ever!!!
Chiara


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Review #15, by marauderfanThe Lark and the Nightingale: Feathers and moonlight

23rd April 2016:
HELLO MY DEAR I AM HERE WITH REVIEWSSS ♥

Wait wait wait. The bird, specifically a she, who has been transforming when the moon rises. So... Is Chiara a werebird? :P

...SHE IS

ASJDLFJKAS

I did not see that coming. At all. Even though her last name is a bird. I guess this explains why she hasn't been around - she's been a bird during the day. I hope she at least got bonus marks in Transfiguration for that.

What a sad existence, that she's only a human when there's no one around to talk to. But she saw the Marauders running to the Whomping Willow! I have a feeling she's going to figure out Remus' secret before he has the opportunity to tell her. Also, as it's been a month, I think she should go into the castle and seek help from Madame Pomfrey, or at the very least sneak into the library to look up any past cases of Werebirds, or Werelarks? (that's what I'm going to call her, with no other name for this curse :P)

Haha, I love that you pointed out how her human form is so disgusted by what her bird form eats. Mmm, worms.

An awesome chapter and I'm glad you finally told us what's happened to Chiara! I never wuold have guessed, it was such a creative curse, and now I wonder how she's going to find a way out of it.

Loved this!

Kristin

Author's Response: Hello, dearest! *hug*
Thank you so much for stopping by again!!!
I've already told you, but I'm telling you once again, your support means so much to me and all your reviews never fail to make me smile! Thank you so much!!! *wub*

Ahahah! Yes, she is!!! :P (I shouldn't say this, I know... but I need to... James will think the same you did. He'll call it her featherly little problem... :P )

I know... she should've seeked help... well, she will, in her own way (you've already got to that part, so it's not an additional spoiler)

Ahahah! Well, I don't know about you, but worms are my favourite food...

Glad you enjoyed the chapter! There is a way to break the curse, you only need to read on...

Thank you so much for the awesome review! I'll answer the other one asap (this evening, probably)

All my love!
Chiara


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Review #16, by marauderfanLess Than: Less Than

23rd April 2016:
Gah, this story is heartbreaking. Especially so after reading the A/N at the end. I definitely understand writing as a kind of catharsis for emotions though, as this is something I've done as well when going through difficult things, so I really hope that writing this helped you process things. I'm so sorry you're going through this *hugs*

It's so sad to read Hannah feeling like less of a person, or defective. I can understand why she does, because this one thing she wants that most women are capable of biologically and she's unable to. I can kind of relate to her in a sense, in that for me, depression and anxiety are what make me feel like a defective person, like I'm not the same and not as worthy as a person as someone else. I think it's only too easy to see ourselves just in terms of our flaws, when as Neville points out at the end, there's more to a person than that. After all, who decides what makes a person 'whole'? I know it's a cliche saying but no one is perfect, and just because Hannah happens to have that particular flaw doesn't make her any less of a person, because no one is really 'whole', in one way or another. Poor Hannah, though. I know it's all fine to just talk about flaws being a small part of a whole, but it's never easy to see that right when you're going through the worst of it, and I feel so bad for Hannah as she tries to process this information and how it affects her and Neville.

And it's not just her feeling like less of a person, I can tell there's definitely themes of her feeling like less of a woman, as well. But the ability to have children isn't what defines a woman. And of course Neville sees this - I just love Neville in this story, and how he is supportive of her and loves her no matter what, with the large flaws and the small, and still wants to marry her. Because for him, their love isn't about whether her reproductive system works properly, it's about the fact that the two of them care about each other and work together through the hard times. Despite how sad most of this story is, the end section with Neville has so much hope. Things may be rough, but it's easier to face difficult things with loving people by your side, and that's what she has. I just love Neville, and I'm so glad Hannah has him to help her through this hard time in her life. That ending section just shows why they're such a wonderful couple.

sorry this review partly turned into a philosophical tangent about feminism. I think honestly there's a lot more I could say but I do want to bring it back to the story :P I do like that you made me think about these things though. You can always tell good writing because it leaves you thinking afterwards.

Last but not least I want to say bravo to you for writing this story. Wonderfully written and heartbreaking story, but still so positive at the end. I hope things start looking up for you *hugs*

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Review #17, by marauderfanRise of the Planet of the Snapes: Tapioca Dreams

23rd April 2016:
This is so unbearably awful of a story and for that I applaud you and give you 100 gold stars. Well done. :D

Author's Response: Well, I don't know whether to be thankful or insulted :P

I'm glad you hated (or, rather, enjoyed) it!


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Review #18, by marauderfanKeep Calm and Carry On: Morning

22nd April 2016:
Sarah! Ahh, first things first, CONGRATS ON FINISHING!!! I know you've been working on this story for years so you're probably in this weird state of combined 'HOORAY I finished' and 'I can't believe it's over' and 'the story still won't get out of my head so here's 12 sequels'. But it is really exciting to see this marked complete! (And a bit sad, because I have loved taking this journey along with Edie and seeing her grow up and learn to put on her Big Girl Pants, as you called it :P If you ever write any fic sequels to this I'm sure I'll be right there to read them!

So maybe it was a little cliche with the cheesy, happy ending and Oliver literally running onto the train to catch her. But despite that, it still doesn't feel wildly unrealistic, because the two of them are still three-dimensional people with real problems. They seriously messed up before, and it's implied that they still have a lot of work to do on their relationship. They'll argue, learn from the past, and work towards being better people. But isn't that what we all do? So even with the cheesy factor turned all the way up to 11, it's still such a perfect ending and ties everything together really well. It shows how far Edie has come and that even with all the mistakes she makes, it doesn't mean she's ruined everything. She learns from her mistakes and things turn out better. So as well as your message of "it's okay to be unsure of How To Be An Adult", there's also an underlying message of "it's okay to make mistakes"... rather fitting as those go together well haha.

If you're taking votes about which of the thousand epilogues to write, I vote for one with Dean and Seamus in it. They were such awesome supporting characters in this fic and I loved whenever they turned up :P

Last but not least, Edie and Oliver's conversation about their ineptitude at healing spells was hilarious. And that Quidditch is basically sustaining injuries for money :P This story was such a fun read from start to finish, and I've absolutely loved reading it. Congrats once again on completing it!

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Review #19, by marauderfanComplicated: In Which It's More Than Just Quidditch

17th April 2016:
Ahhh! lakjofjhasdjkfhk what a cliff hanger I can't believe you left it there O__O

That aside, and my panic about Al's well being, I really loved the rest of the chapter. I was kind of amused by Liv and Al's heart to heart in the middle of the game, but I loved that you included that, as it shows that Al really cares more about her than about Gryffindor's fate in the game. After all, it is just a game and that was an important thing for Liv to remember because she'd been really panicking with all the pressure before. I also really loved that you pointed out that the game had progressed while they'd been talking, because it's not like everything would stand still while they talk - instead both sides have made goals and I don't know, I just really loved that scene haha.

Poor Scorpius though - it' easy to see why the game means so much to him. I can't help but wonder if he's noticed Cass though. I love that he and Olivia switched brooms halfway through the game! Ahh! Sounds super dangerous and I'm glad it worked out. That's dedication.

Also loved the interactions between Olivia and Jason. They both seem like they're just in it for the fun and I adored Jason's enthusiasm at saving Olivia's goal haha, and how they encourage each other despite being on different sides. Okay, yeah, she said "Nice one, moron" but we all know by now that that's a term of endearment haha.

THE ENDING THOUGH ASKDJFKSJDLKA. I hope Al is okay!

Awesome chapter! Well done writing a quidditch match as well :D

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Review #20, by marauderfanLove, Minerva: September 1954

10th April 2016:
Congrats, you're a TA!!! *throws confetti and celebrates with you* ALSO, I did not realize this story wasn't a one-shot when I read the first chapte so yay, I'm excited to see more of it!

Although she can never send the letters (because of Statute of Secrecy and all that), it says so much about her that she writes them at all. I feel like for her these letters are very cathartic, and while it's not necessarily helping her move past him, because she's still writing to him and thinking about him all the time, it's kind of her way of atoning for all the secrets she had to keep from him while they were together. She can say all she wanted to tell him and get all these thoughts off her shoulders, but isn't breaking any laws.

The prose is once again beautiful and very much what I would expect of Minerva! It's really so lovely how you've gotten into her head like this, and I loved the image of a young Minerva sticking her nose up at PDA haha.

For some reason, regarding that last line and the fact that the story is not marked completed... I wonder if that's the case, or if Minerva will have more she needs to tell Doug.

I wish I could say more but the library is about to close right now so just know that I really loved this. I love the format with the letters, and I love the characterisation of Minerva. And I love you and your beautiful writing! ♥♥♥

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Review #21, by marauderfanYou Are Beautiful: Happy Anniversary

10th April 2016:
Hi Jayde, you lovely person ♥ Stopping by with some hugs and a review!

I don't often read fluff, but I've heard really good things about this story so I decided to go for it. And obviously it was going to be good because it's by you! :)

First, I love that you wrote about Molly and Arthur. They are the best couple in the Potterverse and few people ever write about them, so it's really nice to see stories about them! Also, gah. Your portrayal of them is just adorable. I definitely laughed out loud (in the library oops) at Molly calling Arthur a shameless flatterer. Sassy old people are great :D and I can so see Molly and Arthur being that sort of couple, after having been together for so many years and through so many ups and downs.

I just love how you've managed to show their entire life through all these milestones - the good and the bad. It's short but so comprehensive. Honestly, I feel like this story is the HP fic version of the first five minutes of the movie Up. (That should give you an indication of all the feels I have right now after reading this fic.)

because yeah, reading that letter about after Fred's death and I'm definitely a bit teary eyed now. And then the very last one! Gah, I really need to find somewhere less public than a library to read fic so I can cry in peace! :P

this line: youre too busy grieving silently while trying to take care of all the rest of us. You are wounded deeply, but you are so unbelievably strong. -- ah! this is Molly in a nutshell. She is so selfless in how she cares for her family and even people who aren't family (Harry, Hermione, etc) and I imagine that part of how she copes with grief is by fussing over others to make sure they're coping okay, while not really taking care of herself. She really is such a strong character. Raising seven children (including Fred and George - that alone is an impressive feat) and fighting in two wars and watching people die around her while still supporting everyone else around her - that is strength, and that is beautiful, and that's what Arthur sees when he looks at Molly. Not ageing skin or superficial things.

I appreciate that you addressed Molly's struggles with body image. She is such a strong character and so motherly and worries about her children, but it makes so much sense that she'd be insecure about things about herself too. And Arthur of course is so supportive and sweet because he sees beyond that. They really are such an adorable couple and all the great things I heard about this fic beforehand were definitely justified. Wonderful work Jayde ♥♥

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Review #22, by marauderfanWith Sudden Joy: With Sudden Joy

10th April 2016:
Hi! Stopping by with some reviewing and love :D

One thing that stands out a lot about this story to me is your remarkable use of details. The description of Henry's home life growing up and the characters in his neighbourhood like Mrs Everett who sits in the sun all day, or Tommy Cooper whom I think Henry envies a little :P I feel like I'm right there on a hot summer day seeing Henry mow the neighbour's lawn while all these other people are around and it's just such a well-crafted scene setting.

He was also dismayed to learn that running was hard. -- This is a thing that has also dismayed me from time to time. :P

That letter from Henry's Mum sounds so appropriately Mum-ish. :P The part about how she tries but can't remember the weird wizarding names made me giggle, and how she's really just concerned that Henry won't be doing what he loves and should look at all the possibilities before jumping into something. Her letter is equal parts loving and fretting over her son's well-being, haha.

I was totally expecting Henry to decline the offer, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense. It seems Henry wasn't really set on Healing per se, but on taking care of people - he said specifically that it was the remedies and cures that most interested him rather than surgeries and stuff. What it boils down to is that he wants to take care of people - and that mindset compared with waht he'd be doing as gamekeeper - essentially taking care of Hogwarts - it really does seem to fit. And he's still going to be doing what he loves. :)

This is a wonderful story and I loved your characterisation of Henry. I feel like I know him really well as a character despite this only being a one-shot! Just all the interactions he has with other people and the way you wrote how he engages with the world around him and with other people, I think you've crafted a great character here. I'd love to read more about him if you ever continued Henry's story!

Last but not least, that Wordsworth quote - a lovely one, and you integrated it so well into the story. It absolutely fits the mood of how the story ends and I love the way you captured the sunny atmosphere of the quote in your story as well.

Great writing!! :)

♥ Kristin

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Review #23, by marauderfanComplicated: In Which Stories are Told

10th April 2016:
Hi! before I begin just want to apologise in advance for any typos as this is a phone review. So anyway, just caught up on the two latest chapters and what a - well, complicated - time Olivia is going through. Everything has just kind of spiralled out of control, but it seems like (and I hope Im right, for poor Olivia's sake) that things will improve from here. it's already gotten pretty bad. but I guess we haven't seen Cassie's reaction yet to the fact that her friends won't answer her letters and how everyone knows her secret. She's pushed al of her friends away in the meantime (all two of them) and when/if she comes back to Hogwarts she'll be probably petty and furious with Scor and Olivia, who deserve a lot better than that. Cassie really was so selfish and the fact that she doesn't even really apologise,c while unsurprising, is really sad.

But I think thingas are turning around, and I loved how you showedOlivia's friendships with other people strenghening in order to fill the hole left behind by Cass. I have to say I really love Jason, and how hisfriendship with Olivia has changed throughout the novel. Now, he's someone she can rely on when she neds help. Maybe she still doesnt seek him out for that, but he cares about her and it's becoming evident that she apreciates him. And thank goodness for Jasons good advice too. Ollie definitely needed to talk to Scor and I'm glad Jason convinced her too.

Poor Scor, this was really not easy for him either. But at least this time around he's back to being friends with Olivia, and they can help each other through. I have to admit I laughed at the two of them feeding Cassie's letter to a pygmy puff and then laughing about it together. Sure, it was immature, but they're healing together.

I also reallt loved Lily in this chapter! she has a good head on her shoulders and she definitely provided the perspective Olivia needed. I like her straightforwardness too. What she said about Al makes perfect sense, and I'd been expecting something like that. Of course Al wouldnt want to betray his brother, and Cassie was probably what thry were fighting about a few chapters ago. And I feel a tiny bit sorry for James, but mostly annoyance that his secrets and how he handled it impacted so many people.

I liked hearing a bit about Amethyst as well, who has kind of just lurked in the background most of the time, and then her spotlight is this sad story :( but I hope Olivia decides to talk to Al.

brilliant chapter!

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Review #24, by marauderfanDear Harry: Part One

8th April 2016:
Hello! Just wanted to stop by and say that I really love what you've written of this story so far. I've been meaning to check out all of the entries in the non-cisgender challenge, for which I actually wrote a genderqueer character as well and I just love seeing more genderqueer characters on the archives and more representation for a population that is kind of invisible in current mainstream society.

H. seems like a great character so far. I know they've only been introduced as Holly so far, but since you referred to them as H in your first chapter's author note, that's what I'm going to call them until further notice :P I like how you've managed to show these complicated emotions through the simpler lens of a child. As H. is only nine, they just focus on the frustration of being expected to wear a dress, and the idea that they can wear whatever they want and it's okay to be sometimes more like a girl and sometimes more like a boy. They haven't had society's gender binary forced on them too much yet, so they're still in a kind of bubble, just a bit confused who they are.

I think H. is really lucky to have Theo as a family friend, given what you said about Theo in this and how he doesn't really fit in with society's standards of who he should be either. It's great that H. has a support system of people who'll be able to understand them a little more and what they are going through. Theo seems really interesting and although I don't know him as a character super well so far, I love that you're writing about him because he's a kind of neglected character in fanfic and this is a great interpretation of him.

my brother will always be found in shorts and t-shirts or his pajamas (this time it's a dinosaur onesie) -- clearly he has excellent taste in clothing, I'm a bit jealous

H.'s narration is really fun so far! I look forward to reading more of this story. :D Love it!!! ♥

Kristin

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Review #25, by marauderfanCausatum: Harry

8th April 2016:
Grace, this is AMAZING. This is such good writing, and I love how you've gotten into Harry's head in this really dark time after the war. I mean, the book ends on a hopeful note, but I think it highly realistic that Harry would suffer some form of PTSD after all he had experienced and seen - and all that by the time he was only seventeen. I love that you touch on Harry's feelings of guilt as well, because this is something that rings so true with who Harry is. Whenever anything Voldemort-related happens in the series, Harry always feels responsible (e.g. the snake that bit Arthur Weasley), and until Hermione and Ron insist on going with him to find Horcruxes, Harry was thinking of doing it himself. He always takes too much on himself and here you've extrapolated that into how he takes all the blame as well, which I find so believable.

Those first few lines especially are so powerful! How do you take on that much? And what you pointed out about Harry being a part of a machine - this is true as well and really sad that others were planning out all these things that he had to do. Dumbledore knew the whole time all that Harry would have to go through.

Your imagery throughout is stunning. I love all the dark shapes and stuff and the fact that nothing has any names - not the demons, and not even any of the characters. It kind of reinforces Harry's loneliness and how he feels like he's so alone in all this.

This is so good! I'm really glad I stopped by to read it.

xoxoxo ♥
Kristin

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