Reading Reviews From Member: marauderfan
807 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfanBackground Noise: The Curse of Carkett Close

24th July 2014:
Omg... Teh, this is the most brilliant. I think I saw it appear in the recently added list a while back, but I didn't realise it was you! Ahh I just love everything about it. You had me at the line "drunk old man reincarnated as a princess."

So... My prediction: Jo is going to be (or secretly already is) a musician. Because they all die at 27.

Lavender Brown and Padma Patil. There’s quite a story behind how they got together -- YES THERE IS AND YOU WROTE IT AND IT'S BRILLIANT! Hah, I love the reference to A Lightness here. How meta. (Ps, so Lavender didn't die at the end of that! I always did wonder. :P )

Nora can see the past. What a unique ability. It's almost like she can tell when it's already raining. Sidenote, I love that James is a renowned fortune teller. And I loved your (not so) sly dig at sensationalised media with all the couple names (Jellie.. haha) and the headlines of the Daily Prophet. ELDEST SON OF HARRY POTTER TO HIT THE THREE BROOMSTICKS ON AUGUST 31st. -- just, pure gold.

One Dimension. God, this is hilarious. WHERE DID THIS FIC COME FROM?


I sympathise with her about having to work on her birthday, though. Sidenote: What exactly IS her job? I think she has a lot of fancy words but no actual job. :P

It used to be the Carkett Close Apothecary, but then the owner turned twenty-seven and got run over by the Knight Bus. -- Aahaha. There is something so hilariously blunt in the way Jo narrates it and throws in the random tidbits about dying, it reminds me a little of Kurt Vonnegut. (and that's a huge compliment as I love Vonnegut)

The bar is owned by clowns. Of course. I'm learning to not be surprised by anything in this story because it's all so mad. All the clowns names had me laughing out loud. And the fact that anytime Sleazy speaks, he is accompanied by the adverb "sleazily." Hahaha

Lysander Scamander! Ooh, this is going to be good. I love him already, how he's wearing blindingly bright yellow robes. And look, there's DENNIS CREEVEY! I appreciated his cameo in here. I think he's been in like 95% of your fics. :D

Sorry this review degenerated into ASKJLDLFJKWH-ing, but I really have no words. This fic is completely brilliant and mad and I have no idea how it even ended up existing, but whatever you did, keep doing it. I'm favouriting this for sure. ♥

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Review #2, by marauderfanHogwarts Reclaimed: Hufflepuff- MischiefNotQuiteMannaged

23rd July 2014:
Your first ever fic!!! ★ Congrats!

This is a really interesting fic, I don't think I've seen a perspective quite like this before. What I love the most is that the narrator is left completely anonymous. I could see it being one of the students or teachers who helped bring the DA/Order/Hogwarts to victory, or especially (and this is the idea I think I like the most) it's narrated by the ghost of someone who died during the battle, telling everyone who survived just how thankful they are about the victory of good over evil. Kind of like a "thanks for all you did, my death was not in vain, now go live your lives because I can't anymore" sort of thing. Really well done! Great work!

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Review #3, by marauderfanMy Most Faithful: Growing Up

23rd July 2014:
I love love love how you've tied history into this. Firstly with Gone with the Wind - I was laughing when Anne said she loved Scarlett O'Hara. Personally I always found Scarlett so obnoxious and greedy how she took everything for granted and wanted more... but she does have a certain vivacity and power to her and I can DEFINITELY see how Anne admires her! So yeah, that was great.

It's nice to see Anne having friends other than Tom, because I feel like they provide a really necessary balance for her. And they probably could have helped her avoid whatever happened to her far in the future, if it weren't for the war.

I'm really glad you incorporated WWII in here, as it sets the stage so well for why Anne stuck with Tom for so long in his hatred of Muggles. Excellent chapter!

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Review #4, by marauderfanMy Most Faithful: Nott & Nagini

23rd July 2014:
Hello! I'm sorry I've been a bad reviewer so far! The temptation to click "next chapter" is too great ;) Anyway, I am still here and enjoying the story!

I kind of love Joey... Please tell me you don't kill him off later. O_O I have this ominous feeling whenever I read a scene with him, like "this is too good to last" because this is a fic about Voldemort. Um... eek. That's all.

I like that you've shown how difficult it is to become an Animagus, how even determined Anne had to give up and attempt something new. (Though I'm curious what she would have been. Maybe a wolverine or something.) But I think it's good that she did switch tracks, because Legilimency will be a useful skill to have around Tom. Maybe Occlumency would be better, though! ;)

“Ya know, you should be a little nicer, kid. Who do you think you are? If I wanna see your snake, I’m gonna see your damn snake until I’m good and satisfied.” -- HAhaha *snort* Ok, I know this is a serious scene and all, but.. Could he have possibly said this in a more ridiculous way?! Ahem. Sorry that my mind lives in a gutter. Back to the story.

The rest of that scene was really intense though! I am not surprised about the way Tom waited to let the information be known to the rest of the Slytherins, about him being a Parseltongue. He won't just tell people, he has to show off and make them really in awe of him. So true to his character.

Anne sure does know how to play her cards to get in Tom's good graces.

I love the little italic bits from future-Anne. And this one in particular. So ominous. Gah I'm worried something is going to happen to Joey.

And as for the 7th of September 1940, if I'm correct then her grandfather was killed in the beginning of the Blitz in the second world war. Such a destructive Muggle war would definitely put Anne along the same line as Tom in hating Muggles. Ok, reading on now! Awesome chapter!

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Review #5, by marauderfanHogwarts Reclaimed: Ravenclaw - kenpo

23rd July 2014:
Awww! This brought tears to my eyes! Omg, I love stories about the Creeveys and this was just asdfksjkl. So much emotion in such a short piece - and even though it's incredibly sad as it's about Colin's death, he lives on through his pictures and in how many lives he touched. This is seriously beautiful. Well done.

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Review #6, by marauderfanHogwarts Reclaimed: Hufflepuff - SereneChaos

23rd July 2014:
This is cute :D I like that Colin entertains the idea of haunting Death Eaters if they hurt Harry. I wouldn't expect anything else of ghost-Colin. And your portrayal of Moaning Myrtle is perfect, like she's right off the pages of the books. Um, have to say though, my favourite part is that you used the word 'ectoplasm' in your fic. WIN. 100 points to Hufflepuff. ☆

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Review #7, by marauderfanAn Illusion of Sanity: The One Where Jelly is Jam

23rd July 2014:
Hello there! I'm here with your requested review - it seems I did the first chapter for a swap (like a year ago) so I'm reviewing this chapter now.

So. Since Perri's past is still a mystery at this point, I'm over analyzing everything she says about time and the weather. Here's what I've come up with: She's from the Southeastern USA, based on the five hour time difference, and the fact that Scotland in September seems cold to her. Am I close? :P

No idea what made her transfer though - you've let a little more of the mystery through but withheld enough information to keep people coming back for more! So the pacing of the information is really good.

As for the characters - they all seem a pretty happy-go-lucky bunch. Fred and Roxanne were pretty amusing, particularly the day after Fred and Perri's late night escapade to the kitchen. But the character I'm most intrigued by is Perri herself. She has good social skills, is cheerful and seems to integrate so well with the Weasleys, but she has this mysterious dark past - which so far hasn't shown up much in her character and I'm wondering if it affects her but she hides it, or if she has forgotten, or if she went insane and there's something wrong with her (after all, the story title and the hint that she transferred schools due to some sanity related 'incident'.) So yeah, I'm curious.

As for story flow - it's good, and well paced so far. I'm not sure where it's headed yet as this seems to be primarily the exposition still, but it's not boring by any means. I like it.

Some little picky details you might want to fix with a quick edit:
At one point she says it's 10pm at home while it's 3am in Scotland, but then in the next paragraph she says she's "sitting around like it's lunch time" - unless she eats lunch at 10pm maybe this should say dinner time at the earliest.

And here: “Careful,” I jumped, stumbling forwards and catching myself on the stone wall. “I think the stairs are much more efficient means of descent.” -- It sounds like she is the one saying this (to herself). Maybe add something in there like '"Careful," said a voice, and I jumped.'

Anyway, those are both small things. Overall it was a lovely chapter, and I think you're doing great work on this! :)

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Review #8, by marauderfanNike: Don't Step Inside My Space Bubble

23rd July 2014:
For our review swap!

Ok, based on the first two paragraphs: Nike is a Slytherin. She's got this weird parallel to Tom Riddle as well in that she has no friends, just followers. Hm. That's a bit worrisome.

The scene with her ah, "co-workers" aka not-quite-friends, was interesting. What exactly do they want with information about Albus? And why is his own cousin getting involved in whatever shady project this is? What happened between Dom and the other Potters/Weasleys? It sounds pretty serious for her to not speak to them anymore.

Well, I may be wrong, but so far this seems to be told from the POV of the antagonist, which always makes for good reading. :D But I like her so far, she's a really intriguing character and the story is quite original. I'll be interested to see where this goes! Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Yes yes yes Nike is a Slytherin. She reminds you of T-Rizzle? Coolio. But don't worry- she's got friends, though at the moment she doesn't realize them as such and I'm about to give away the whole plot poopy. Dom and the rest of the Wotters? Pfft, they're fine... Well, not really. And yes, this story is a protagonist's POV.

Basically, this story is about screwed up people trying to fix themselves. All will become clearer... Eventually.

Thanks for the review swap!

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Review #9, by marauderfanWide Awake : I Shot the Sheriff

23rd July 2014:
Hi there! After you left me a few absolutely lovely reviews on my own fic, when I saw this in the recently updated I decided it was time to share the love! :)

First off, I looked at the list of chapter titles and I love that they're all songs from around that time period, clever ;) But I'm getting ahead of myself!

Aw, poor James. That must be so much pressure and so nervewracking - even though he's trying to be a good leader, I imagine Lily isn't too thrilled that he's Head Boy after all his rulebreaking indiscretions in previous years. I like Marianne so far, though - given the one scene she's been in, she seems like a good friend for James to get started on the right foot in his new authority position.

I kind of love that Sirius' other friends outside of the Marauders are an actual band. That seems very appropriate - he would have friends like that :D And yeah, he would decide to throw a party with a band without considering how loud it would be!

Your portrayal of Remus is exactly how I would imagine him to be - critical of his friends' ideas for foolish mayhem but secretly the mastermind behind it all. Because if anyone can get their dumb ideas to work out, it's him.

Ahahaa, this line about Peter: he liked to remind his three best friends that he was the only one with a steady relationship out of the bunch. It was the only way he was superior to all of them. -- brilliant! Ha, I could so see this being the case. And when he takes his plate off the table and looks all shifty-eyed at his friends as they have a food fight, that made me laugh. Peter doesn't get enough recognition in a lot of Marauders fics so I love that you gave him his own story here.

This is a great start! I'm excited to read more :)

Author's Response: Omg, hello! Thank you for reviewing my story - I feel the love-sharing and it makes me so happy!

Ah yes, the music. I am a total tune junky, so I knew I wanted to quote lyrics at the beginning of each chapter ... but when I decided to only do 70s grooves, I got even more excited/into it. I love old school stuff!

If you keep reading, you'll see James handle the pressure a lot better. I've never written Jily before, but I knew that if Lily finally accepted him, he needed to mature. So right now he's shaky and afraid, but that's on purpose. As for Marianne ... well you'll see where she fits in XD

When I first thought of Gemma, I knew she had to be a music junky (as she's partly based on me) and I also knew she needed a random connection to Sirius. I feel like all fics have a train ride/compartment scene, so I decided to spice mine up a bit!

Remus was really fun to write too. Remus/OC fics are my total weakness so I really enjoyed playing with his thoughts about romance. Also, JK had just released her new stuff on him, so a lot of that influenced me. But his relationship with Tonks ultimately shaped his subplot.

Peter's subplot, on the other hand, used to be my least favorite. I really hated writing Aeryn too. But as they progressed, they became one of my favorites. Well, actually, all the characters all my favorites. I love them to bits!! But yeah, he's fun to read.

Thank you so much for your amazing review, I hope you read on!

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Review #10, by marauderfanEverto Trucido: Halloween, 1976 -- Part One

23rd July 2014:
RUMPEL! Long time no chapter. (That sounded better in my head. Also, I apologise in advance as it's past midnight and I'm probably just going to ramble away for this entire review. You've been warned.) Anyway, yay.

It almost seemed peaceful. -- Ah, if only. I have a feeling the peace is going to last approximately 4 seconds before something happens, like a zombie jumps out of a black hole in the floor and Grace slays it with her BA demon slaying powers.

Sudden flash of green light. Mm, I called it. (Kind of. Without the zombies and black holes.) WHY IS SHE BAREFOOT WHILE SHE GOES OFF TO SLAY VAMPIRES? SHE'S GOING TO STEP ON A NAIL OR A VAMPIRE FANG AND GET TETANUS.

OMG SCARIEST DREAM EVER. Sorry this is like a shout-fest so far. I'll try to ease off on the capslock.

Grace's Bath Interruption #64, brought to you by Marlene.

Lololol only to Grace does spending the afternoon with Snape sound like more fun than partying with the Marauders. *eyeroll* Oh... well I guess there is that legitimate reason of awkwardness with Remus. Also, YOU WROTE SIRIUS' BIRTHDAY AS HALLOWEEN? Cruel. The Universe gave Sirius the WORST birthday present in 1981. Happy birthday, your best friends are dead. So it goes. :P

I like Anne, even though she's never actually appeared in the story apart from in letters or memories. I feel like she needs to meet Remus, because she'd be able to knock some sense into him so he stops being so self-deprecating. Like she could give him the "This is how to be awesome and confident and appreciate who you are even though you're a werewolf" talk.

“The two of you really need to get out and have a little fun,” Marlene insisted, “before you guys are too old to actually have fun.” -- Listen to her, Lily! (Because you'll never actually get that old.)... :[

Grace has a lot of self control in this scene with Regulus taunting her. I'm impressed - I might have slapped him. Also, I know this isn't supposed to be funny but that scene when Grace fell on Snape and then rather than getting up and worrying about acidic potions dissolving her textbook, she cuddles into Snape's arm XD Haaahaha I kind of loved that.

You write teenage Snape really well. He sounds a lot like adult Snape, just slightly less eloquent and bitter and angry - but still somewhat bitter and angry because he's Snape. :P Anyway, your portrayal of him is really good!

I'm sorry about the complete hodgepodge of shouting and rambling that is this review but it was a fantastic chapter! It was good to see a new chapter of this story :) Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: Hahaha...I need to get better about updating. Also, I'm fairly sure that all of the reviews you've received from me have been full of rambles, so I think I'll survive a ramble from you ;).

Zombies! ...erm...nope no zombies here! What gave it away? :p Yup, you called it! She should have known she wasn't awake, being barefoot in the middle of the night on a street that she didn't recognize...and couldn't remember how she got there. Silly Grace. She'll have to remember her shoes to protect against vampire tetanus, haha!

Bathing interruptions seem to be the common theme for the girls' interactions, so I didn't want to break tradition ^.^.

I *almost* had her go to the party instead...but then I wouldn't have been able to write my fun potion-making, you know ;). I DID make Sirius' birthday on Halloween! :D I thought it would be fantastic irony (and give me something to work with, as I'm considering an ongoing Halloween chapter each year until...well, you know). Happy birthday!...oh, and not to mention, he gets blamed for it (Sirius will not be having the best of luck, will he?).

Anne will come around eventually. If we jump back to the prologue (which was still fairly muddled way back when you first read it), Remus' first baby will be with Anne -- so, she'll be around. *Evil laugh*. *Cough* I think having a talk with another werewolf -- especially one that accepts her condition -- will be good for Remus.

Feels :(.

Grace did have a lot of self control, especially for Grace. I would've slapped him, too. Hahaha, I laughed while I was writing that, so I suppose it could be taken as a funny scene (it amused me, anyway). And who wouldn't want to cuddle Snape when an acidic potion is destroying everything in its path? O.o Erm. Don't answer that.

^.^ Yay, I'm glad you like the teenage version of him (I've been trying not to make him sound too overly adult Snape-y).

This was an absolutely fantastic rambly review! (I'll try to update more often...bad Rumpel). Thanks so much!


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Review #11, by marauderfanThorns of Time: Thorns of Time

22nd July 2014:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review - and sorry about the delay, so busy with the house cup (PS: HUFFLEPUFF!!!)

Okay, so, wow. I love the way you've written Penelope. In the books she doesn't have much of a personality apart from being "Percy's girlfriend", but here she is a three-dimensional and ultimately very real character - particularly just because I could relate to her so much the way you described her.

The character development in such a short fic is wonderful too. You've shown Penelope at a point where she has matured since Hogwarts, but is still vulnerable and running, hence her continuing to run at the end after she's already considered everything. In a way, I'm glad she ran before she talked to Percy, because now she has to really find herself and become her own person rather than escaping back to the past when she gets lonely. She now has to move forward rather than back. And of course, I looove ambiguous, unresolved endings so I thought that was perfect :)

Your writing style is beautiful, too. It's very simple, not wordy, but has just enough to get the feelings across clearly. You use your words well.

My only CC is this: The first half, while I understand that it is necessary to provide the full backstory in order to contextualize Penelope as a character at this particular point in time on the train, I feel like there was a lot of telling. It doesn't feel so much like she's thinking about her memories, as it feels like telling a story. So I think it would help the first section to change the wording in some areas to make it feel like we're in Penelope's mind, reliving the memories of running, adventuring, experiencing, and ultimately missing what she left behind. Since this is really all in her head (nothing is happening except her looking out the train window and remembering), let the fact that it's all a memory be the way you describe what happened in the past. (Am I even making sense? :p)

And lastly, this is just a small thing but there's a typo here: where she was greeted with a sight which couldn’t completely absorb initially. -- I think instead of "which" that would make more sense as "she"

Overall, this was really great! Wonderful job on this fic, and thanks for requesting! :)

Author's Response: Ahh thank you! No worries for the wait, this review was wonderful and long and very helpful so it more than makes up for it :)

I'm so happy you liked Penelope's character development and the writing style, it means a lot!

Your CC is very helpful as well. I tend to have an issue with telling rather than showing, so it's good to know that I need to work on, and I appreciate you letting me know exactly where I can do that. And thanks for spotting that typo, too, I'll need up update this :)

Thanks so much for the lovely review! I truly appreciate you taking the time to read/review!

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Review #12, by marauderfanTrue Romance: Ice Cream

22nd July 2014:
Teddy's son is named Remus! Aww! And he is the cutest! I love that Albus went to Teddy for help, I like the idea that he was the person Albus often went to as a kid when he was troubled about something.

NO ROSE (Weasley), I DO NOT LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE THINKING. STAY AWAY. Nooo why didn't she listen to me?!

Corbin seemed slightly less awful here. I don't hate him, and he didn't seem like Gollum, so these are steps in the right direction. Maybe he's getting less possessive as he gets more comfortable in the relationship - at least he's giving Scorpius some time.

Awesome chapter!

Love, Sir Pounce (who pounces very slowly apparently, so I am not sure about the validity of your nickname for me)

Author's Response: YES. I GOT YOU WITH THE REMUS AND TEDDY FEELS. muhahaha. Yeah, I felt like they'd have a closer relationship but maybe that it's not been features in PI/TR. I dunno, Teddy is about 8 years older and would be in a difference place in his life.


WHOO! I'll take slightly less awful! he's making baby steps in the relationship (and in the eyes of my readers).

SIR POUNCE IS A VALID NICKNAME! You were just out catching mice and took a while to come back.

Thank you for the awesome reviews!!


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Review #13, by marauderfanTrue Romance: Only Myself to Blame

22nd July 2014:

Um, I want to immediately go on to the next chapter, but you deserve at least a little review on this chapter beforehand, so here's this:

Brandon and Albus' discussion: completely understand Albus being a little nervous about making such huge decisions, but at the same time I ♥ Branbus and I think Albus should decide he wants to be with Brandon. Because awww.

Henrik = ew. The "client" comment was priceless though- Pedro seems cooler than Henrik who apparently can't read signals at all. In Henrik's defense though, Rose did agree to give him a tour of the local nightlife by themselves, so I'm not sure how she didn't suspect anything in the first place. Anyway.

I still don't like Archie. Granted, the observatory would be super cool, but wow way too dramatic and sappy and sweeping romantic gestures and ugh. gag. I mean, he's like one step short of writing an opera for her (which I assume is next.) I hope Harry scowls at him for the entire brunch meeting together.

Aaand next chapter now!

Author's Response: I'LL WORK ON SLOWING DOWN IN A VERY SLOW MANNER :P that didn't make sense.

I'M GLAD YOU STOPPED TO LEAVE A REVIEW. I like getting the bit by bit feedback and yelling.

I'm happy thier conversation didn't incite more Albus hate. I mean, he's being a bit waffle-y but I thought honesty would be best there. I'LL SETTLE BRANBUS SOON. don't you worry.

:D The client comment had me giggling quite a bit. I mean, in Spanish you'd say it like that. Pedro is much, much cooler (in my head he's the same guy who plays the red viper - but that was after I picked the name pedro). Yeah, Rose is definitely learning a few things about professional versus flirty behavior.

ARCHIE TRIED SO HARD FOR YOU TO LIKE HIM. *makes note to include opera in upcoming chapters* okay, it's probably just me but *I'd* go for hte cheesy operatic declaration of love. :D um, of course Harry is going to scowl at him during brunch.

thank you for stopping by before the next chapter!!!


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Review #14, by marauderfanStand Tall: Eyes Meet

22nd July 2014:
Hello :) I read the first chapter of this a few weeks ago, so now I'm back for another chapter!

This was just as good as your first chapter! I felt so badly for Alba in the beginning - of course James is just trying to do what's right, and Alba does need help for her leg, but poor thing to have to regress so far with her treatment. :( Her analysis of feeling like a number/a list of injuries instead of a person was really moving, too.

I loved the feast though, particularly the fact that Hagrid is still there, along with Grawp! Haahaha I can't even imagine Grawp 20 years later, like does he actually talk to people now, or just grunt and say 'Hermy'? haha /tangent

I'm also impressed with your writing of Chandra so far. I was really hoping she wouldn't be so one-dimensional as she appeared in the first chapter, so it was really nice to see that she does indeed have redeeming qualities - she might speak before she thinks sometimes (like in the first chapter) but she does care. A much more complex character that way ;)

The scene with Ben and Alba: adorable. Loved it so much. And ooh, James is jealous ;) Sidenote, what is he doing at the top of Ravenclaw tower with desserts? he went all the way up there just to see Alba? aw, that's cute.

Great chapter!

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Review #15, by marauderfanOne Blaze of Glory: Only Blue, Lonely Blue

22nd July 2014:

It's so sad to see Maria in a situation like this, she is suffering so much. At least she has admitted she has a problem, and has friends who are trying to help her. What a difficult situation too - how getting her off Euphoria will be good for her in the long run, but in the short run it will destroy her and there's not much of her left anymore as she's so thin and ill.

The tidbit about Nadia supplying Maria with the potion for all those years was interesting too. It's a complicated issue and when you're trying to do the right thing for someone, what exactly is the right thing? She was hurting Maria more than helping, regardless of how she thought about it - it's sad, but also I like the way it shows how even the best people make mistakes. I don't know, I just like the moral ambiguity there I guess :p

Sounds like a lot of people are trying to move to Canada. I hope that Romulus meets up with Aisling wherever they end up going, because I think Romulus isn't going to go back to his friends of his own volition, but only if he runs into one of them.

Omg but the end, Fenrir came into Maria's flat to be creepy? What is he doing adkjfkasdjkfl please update soon because I can't handle the suspense.

Excellent chapter!

Author's Response: I love you so much for reviewing so quickly! Thank you thank you thank you!

Marietta is my idol. Sometimes. Parts of her. Toned down a little. She's really fun to write, at least.

Yaaay for moral ambiguity. There's a lot of that here. I think that Nadia's issue was that she would try too hard to make others happy and make sure that everyone liked her. She always had good intentions, but didn't always know where to draw the line.

And Maria... yeah... yeah... she's pretty stuck. And everyone around her is pretty stuck. It gets pretty sticky.

Yes there's Canada and that's all I can say about that. :D

Yes there's Fenrir and that's all I can say about that. :D

I'll update as soon as I get the next chapter all edited! Hopefully in the next 2 weeks, but I can't make any promises because Rumpel and I tend to keep going over and over forever.

Thank you so so so much for reviewing, it really means the world to me!!


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Review #16, by marauderfanJust an Atypical Saturday: Rise and Shine

21st July 2014:
Hi Madi! I'm here with your requested review!

All right, I'm going to start this of with a big AWWW ♥ ♡ ♥ This was adorable. As much as I love the canon Neville/Hannah and Luna/Rolf, there is something really cute about Neville/Luna and before JKR said anything to the contrary, I totally shipped these two :D

For a short fic, you really got the fluffy, cheerful mood across very well. Everything about this fic is happy, both with romantic relationships and friendships, the latter of which we know is particularly important to Luna so I loved that you included that scene with Harry :)

I loved the way you wrote Harry! Especially the fact that he let Luna put an anti-Nargle charm on his house just because she thought it was important (though I doubt Harry is that worried about Nargles, of course.) It's exactly the sort of thing Harry would do to be a good friend and not push Luna's feelings aside.

I also thought it was really quirky and appropriately Luna-ish for her to wake Neville up with balloons and confetti :D The thing that stuck out to me about Luna in this, though, was her dialogue, and that's where I'd like to suggest some CC. Luna is a rather tricky character to write because she's such an interesting balance of dreamy and direct, and I mostly got the 'direct' vibe from her in this story - she seemed a bit more focused than JKR wrote her. Here's what I mean:

“Come on darling, we have loads of work to do today. We’ve got our anniversary to plan for, your birthday party to plan, we have to stop at your mother’s (which will take at least three hours), and we need to fix that wall and plant the garden, and get the cat more food and litter...” -- Luna is listing plans and things that need to get done, in a way that makes her almost sound a bit like Hermione - very goal focused.

What I suggest (this is what I do when I write Luna) : If you haven't done this already - when you write Luna, try to hear her voice saying her lines in your head. That way if anything doesn't quite sound like her, it will stand out more and you'll notice. So yeah, I think a little touching-up on Luna's dialogue could help the story out a lot to make Luna seem more Luna-ish (there's really no other word to describe it haha), but otherwise this was a lovely fic!

I hope that helps! Thanks for requesting this story, I have a big smile on my face now after reading such happy fluff :D

Author's Response: Hello!! :)

*blushes" Oh, stop it you!!

I'm very glad you think I got the fluffy and cheerful tone across well--fluff isn't my usual cup of tea so that's very nice to hear! I figured that since Luna had a surprise for Neville, why not wake him up extravagantly? Yay, I'm happy Harry was characterized well in your eyes, as he's one of the more difficult characters for me to write.

With Luna's dialogue, I agree wholeheartedly that it is very Hermione-ish (oh the woes of a Dramione novel author where it's mainly in her POV). I'll have to go in and change what she's saying to be more Luna-ish. I just might have to use your tip! :)

Thank you so much for the wonderful and lengthy review, it's much appreciated!! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #17, by marauderfanYear Five: The Question

21st July 2014:
Hello again!

Woah, so much happened in this chapter. QUIRRELL! ACK! I did not see that coming. As if Isobel really needs more issues to deal with - give the poor girl a break! Asdjfkoasjdokf

Ok now that I've gotten that out, I'll attempt to do this review in order. I'm so glad Isobel talked with Professor Sprout for a bit, she really needed that what with all her friends being so caught up in their own problems. Also, along those same lines, I love that you have these random sections from Sprout's POV! I've never seen anything else written from her perspective and it's such a lovely change. Also a nice balance to have narration from a such a grounded, stable person who's got life sort of figured out and sees things very differently than the teenagers do.

Tristan finally stood up for himself! Kind of. I mean, it was through owl post, but the fact is that he did tell Emily to stop dealing, rather than just not caring about anything. He told her what she needed to hear, even if it might get her annoyed at him (and I feel like he wouldn't really have done that before). So that's something, right?

Loved the scene with Hagrid as well - you very subtlely built on all we know from the book and it was so cool to see that in here. When you mentioned they were going into the Hog's Head and that the gamekeeper was there, I was like OMG THIS IS WHEN HAGRID GETS NORBERT(A). And then it was so cool to see it unfold, especially when Hagrid was carrying the twins (haha) and Isobel was carrying the dragon egg and even asked about it but Hagrid passed it off as a joke. Good thinking, drunk Hagrid. Ahahaha it was fabulous though. And THIS:

Fred’ll lecture my ear off tomorrow though. -- So that's how George lost his ear. :P Omg, but this was the best line ever. (Also, no, not too soon - can you believe it's been SEVEN years since that book was released? Man, I feel old.)

I love the ending paragraph too, with Isobel at the Ravenclaw door, and the bit about good is distinguished by the presence of love. She should reconsider her old friends in that light, and maybe it'd help her reconcile with them, to see things while standing in their shoes, so to speak.

Also the line about perforated cauldrons. You are very quotable, you know? (Not to sound creepy or anything :P ) Awesome chapter!

Author's Response: Oh yes, that was quite awful! I made an icked out face every time I wrote or edited that sequence, and the prose around it is VERY sparing as a result (because really, who wants to hear any more detail than what was there). That situation wasn't the first time writing this that I felt like "Oh god, this terrible thing is going to happen"--like it wasn't up to me.

Ah Sprout! Yeah, that was the exact reason I included her interludes. She's most definitely a wonderful and grounded (hah) canon character, but she doesn't get nearly as much play as, say, McGonnagall (also, I felt like there would realistically be some sort of guidance counselor--Harry gets that from Dumbledore, but not every student could). And I definitely wanted to break up all the teenage POV with an adult mindset, to offer perspective and another interpretation of the characters.

I am SO glad that people at HP Lexicon figured out what dates in 1991-92 the events of PhilStone took place! They did so much work, and it made it so much easier to plot out the story against canon! I find it really fun to play with all that dramatic irony, too--we know it's Quirrel under the cloak, Isobel doesn't.

You are totally on to it, as per Isobel reconsidering her friends in that light. That idea, the Presence of Love, is definitely a theme that carries through the conclusion.

And SO glad you liked the perforated cauldron bit! That line came to me all at once while writing, and I was so stoked on it!

Ah! I can't believe there's only a few chapters left already! A few challenge deadlines are coming up I'm trying for, so it'll be a little bit before the next chapter comes up (maybe a week-week and a half, depending on the queue). Thank you for reviewing! We're so far into the story, it's really awesome to see what you think of how it unfolds!


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Review #18, by marauderfanAcanthus: The Last Loss

20th July 2014:
Kiana!!! I'm sorry I'm leaving my final review for this story on a tablet so it may be full of typos -_- . Anyway, CONGRATS on finishing your first novel!! :D

First, just to get this out to the way before I start gushing about the amazingness of the chapter/Acanthus/you. There was one section that was repeated: the part beginning with Having a mother high up in the Ministry sure did have its perks and ending with she picked up the first file and began to read. -- is repeated twice.

Ok now akdkksnkjnrfkhlfzlkns. My feelings were kind of a rollercoaster in this chapter. First, Rose and Lorcan wait for Scorpius for THREE WEEKS and I know he's left in he past but they don't know and gahhh. But I loved their reunion with Dalila,and Hasani, and the Weasleys! That was a great scene and I just loved all the reactions from Rose's family.

But when she decided to leave them behind and remain in the past... omg. I am not sure what to think about this. On the one hand, I'm thrilled she was reunited with Scorpius again. But on the other hand, she is dead to her family now, that was a goodbye forever. And her family and all of her friends are dead to her. (well, technically not alive yet, but they are forever gone from her world) And there's no way to ever see them again. It'd be like your whole family and all of your friends dying at the same time. Man, she must love Scorpius a lot in order to give all of that up. Most intense ending ever.

A few chapters ago I suspected that it might end with them in the past, but until i read this chapter I hadn't really thought of all that entailed. So crazy! But it made for a really intense ending. Wonderful job on this story and I'm so proud of you for finishing your first novel! I'll be sad that there are no new updates on Acanthus anymore but I'm sure I'll find something new on your AP to stalk ;)

♡ ♡ ♡

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Review #19, by marauderfanTrue Romance: The Wolves and The Ravens

19th July 2014:
Seems I missed the memo that there was a race for #1. Um, I was racing for #3, and I won. But anyway. You're a very speedy updater. Also, This is a tablet review and my keyboard doesnt work so sorry in advance fory typos.

You did a great job writing the party, and it seemed like a very accurate description of a party for kids that age with people making poor decisions... and Rose's dancing hahaha.

Rose and Brandon? NO. I mean, I like them as friends. And I love Brandon, but Rose deserves better than Albus' leftovers. Gah. I need to have some words with Albus though.

I loved the inclusion of Hermione and Ron's history too! That was a perfect way to add that in, and I love the relationship between Rose and her parents the way you've written it.

Awesome chapter!!

Author's Response: THERE'S ALWAYS A RACE FOR #1!!. But you did make it to review 100 - so that's special!!! *confetti* You can thank JulNo for the speedy updates. :D

haha, Rose's dancing... yeah. Also, the poor decisions were so fun to write about!! I don't think James and Cindy were a poor decision (someone called them like a million chapters ago).

THAT WAS MY REACTION TO ROSE AND BRANDON!! Rose really needs to stop picking off Albus' bfs. Words with Albus might help him out at ths point. HE NEEDS GUIDANCE.

I'm really happy the Ron/Hermione backstory fit in with the chapter. I could see Hermione being content with their young marriage but not advise it for her daughter.



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Review #20, by marauderfanMy Most Faithful: Friends

17th July 2014:
Ah, of course Tom would never make the effort - especially now that he's found more "interesting" things to occupy his time, which he can actually gain something from. I can understand where Anne is coming from though, trying to figure out this mysterious, charming boy and her good opinion of him seems justified. You've done really well depicting how Tom can be so charming when he wants to.

You're showing Anne's Slytherin qualities and her desire for power very well, and despite her fascination with Tom (or because of it?) I think she's a great character! I love the eerie little notes from her future self too, noting how young and foolish she once was. It adds this really creepy foreboding tone, knowing it's told from the perspective of Anne as much older and aware of what Tom becomes in the future.

Hah, he only says he's Anne's friend when he's convinced that he can gain something from her. As expected. Your writing of eleven year old Tom is chilling and just how I would imagine. The scene at the end in particular, when he's irritated with his only friend because she actually did something better than him, and he just can't allow anyone to be better. He has to be the greatest. Your grasp on his character is perfect.

One minor thing though, there might be a typo in this chapter - unless it went back in time, this chapter is set in 1938 whereas in the previous chapter it had just turned over to 1939.

Anyway, excellent work on this chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your thoughtful review! I'm glad you like little Tom, it was hard to get a balance of his personality and the immaturity of an eleven year old, but I did my best! Thanks also for pointing out my typo, I'll have to go back and fix that. I hope you continue on reading :)

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Review #21, by marauderfanMy Most Faithful: Dumbledore

17th July 2014:
Just clicked on this story on a whim and already I'm really impressed with your characterisation of both Anne and Tom. Everything is in the details, Tom's reticence, unwillingness to be vulnerable/has to always be right or he doesn't say anything, and how the only reason he doesn't seem to like Anne very much is because he doesn't think he can gain anything from her - its all very subtle, and that's what makes it so good. I like Anne too, she is a great foil for Tom, although I'm worried about what's going to happen with her. The scene in this chapter where Tom tells her to go down the tunnel first, although innocent as they're eleven, makes me wonder what will happen in future, if Tom will use her for spell practise or something, considering her disposable.

Loved the introduction of Nagini, btw. It's kind of sweet in a really twisted, horrible way, that he still has Nagini all those years later haha.

Wonderful start and I will definitely be reading on!

Author's Response: Yayy a new reader! I'm really happy you stumbled upon my story, and I appreciate reviews so, so much. I hope I can keep you entertained with where the story goes!

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Review #22, by marauderfanCareful What You Wish For: St Mungo's

17th July 2014:
I loved this chapter and all the fluffy scenes with Dani and Oliver. And Bran haha, what with him walking in and being all "ugghhh" but I think he handled it well, like he just teased them a bit like any best friend/brother will do, and left it at that.

I loved the "reunion" between Kat and Dani. I was glad to see Kat's sarcasm again and the two of them joking and being happy for once. I figured Oliver being there would make Kat happy, only because she'd been dropping hints basically throughout the whole story that she thought Dani and Oliver would get together, so yeah I bet that cheered her up! :P

Aw, the end though, Kat can see what's going on with other people a lot more than she can see what's going on with her own relationships/friendships as it's obvious she's never noticed a thing with Angus. And she thinks she's too good for him. Uh... hm. I wonder what will happen when she gets back, if Angus will seize the moment and ask her out, or if Kat will (possibly) notice some change in his behaviour. Also "that's why Angus can't possibly love me - at least, not anymore." -- Anymore? I wonder if she DOES know something. Hmm...

Awesome chapter! :D

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Review #23, by marauderfanTrue Romance: Where the Wind Blows

16th July 2014:
EEEe!! I was just about to go to sleep when i happened to see there was suddenly a new chapter of TR so I had to pounce on it IMMEDIATELY. Also, apologies in advance because this will be a late night sleepy/crazy review, and also I don't have my contacts in right now so what I'm typing may not even be actual words. :p

Wow that scene in the tea shop. Here are the thoughts that went through my brain, and sorry my brain makes no sense at 12:30am. 1) I am so on the same page as Rose here. Those are two huge steps to take in such quick succession, and yeah exciting for her friend, but especially to Rose who has no interest in relationships at this point in her life, its a little surreal. That marriage seems kind of doomed from the start too. 2) Ecru?! I had to look that up. 3) Eliza's fiance is going to ditch her and go off into space. David Bowman is the name of the guy in 2001 A Space Odyssey. 3) is it weird to write about someone who has the same name as you?

omg I really should have left this review until the morning hahaha.

Astoria is trying, she really is! She'll get better at this sort of thing, but at least she is putting in some effort. Pat on the back for Astoria. Maybe in time Scorpius will realise how much she's trying, but I think until then he's still holding onto a lot of bitterness.

As I said in my review for your one shot, I ship Brandon and Albus even more now that Cora is in the picture. I don't know why, but I think Albus is looking for stability and Brandon is trying to be stable now that he's raising a kid - there are obstacles to their relationship of course but I liked the scene where Albus was making sandwiches for the two of them and the way he was taking care of Brandon was cute. I'm really rambling now so I'll just cut it off here before I bore you to death with irrelevant gabbing but this was a lovely chapter and I love this story. Ciao!

Author's Response: This is one of the best reviews ever. I was going to respond to it last night but a 1 AM response would have caused the universe to collapse due to the insanity of it all.

1. I am also on the same page as Rose. That was totally me at that age. 2. I looked it up to make sure it was a real color because I wasn't sure and was also thinking of an animal that sounds similar (Emu's aren't ecru). 3-1. I DIDN'T REMEMBER THAT DAVID BOWMAN IS THE DUDE FROM 2001 A SPACE ODYSSEY. THIS IS THE BEST ACCIDENTAL THING I'VE DONE IN A WHILE. 3-2. It's only confusing when people yell at Rose then yell at me by my name. Oh, and when I accidentally slipped into first person in TR.

Astoria is trying so hard to be there for Scorpius. She gets a hearty pat on the back. Scorpius will get it eventually. He deserves to be a little bitter.

I would have loved rambling about Branbus. A lot of people want them to end up together now that Cora is in the picture. Their domestic bliss was like playing dolls when I was a kid. I NEED A BRANDON SAVAGE DOLL STAT! *shifty look at the GI Joe barbie dolls*



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Review #24, by marauderfanAll is NOT Fair in Love and War: |Prolouge| Blessed With a Son

16th July 2014:
Hello! Here with your requested review!

What interesting insight on Voldemort's opinions of Draco - it makes sense that he would be irritated at the Malfoys for taking some of their attention away from serving their Dark Lord. (Also, even though I should probably not be giggling during this scene, the idea of Voldemort there at the birth like a really creepy midwife is just cracking me up haha.)

Oh wow - so intense, first an Unbreakable Vow and then Draco is pledged to be a Death Eater from age 10-minutes. Very chilling scene. This is a really interesting take on Lucius and Narcissa. I realise the story is meant to be slightly AU so I'll not comment on how the characters compare to JK's, just how they are in terms of your story. They do seem very loving and concerned, and it's interesting to see that even this early on they were losing their enthusiasm for the DE's. I felt badly for them as they were really forced into this unbreakable vow and had no choice at all. I can't see how Lucius could have made another decision and still kept Draco alive, so all things considered he did the right thing. But how horrible for them, on what should be a happy day :(

A bit of CC/ things to watch out for... I've noticed that often you tend to use semicolons rather than commas, for example here: This day; as well as the night that followed it, should have been seemingly happy. -- Semicolons are used to connect two phrases that could be sentences by themselves, so after "this day" should be a comma.

Also, I know the intro is told in the POV of a different Draco than in the books, but I thought I'd point out that he seems a bit... off. Just the way there are a lot of exclamation marks and angsty emphasis, it kind of makes him sound like he's 15 - it could be fixed by just toning it down a bit. ;)

Otherwise, I think it's an interesting start, and the AU twist you've added about Lucius and Narcissa seems pretty intriguing. I'm curious to see what you'll do with their characters, and how everything affects their relationship with their son (which, based on the intro, Draco has a negative opinion of them despite how hard they tried, aw.)

Great work!

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Review #25, by marauderfanKeep Calm and Carry On: Makeshift

16th July 2014:
So happy to see a new chapter of this up!

LOL at Edie insisting she was not just drooling all over the magazine. She totally was. I love how she's actually doing Seamus's hair but there are only about two mentions of Seamus's hair in the whole paragraph because she's really not thinking about that. And when Edie's mum does his hair instead, fabulous. Hahaha

Wow, yeah there hadn't been much of Dean lately! It's nice for him to show up again, I love the way you write both Dean and Seamus in this story. Aw, I'm glad Edie and Dean are back to making goofy bets/jokes again, although there is still that kind of weirdness because she's been too busy for him and he kind of likes her. Um. Also I can't say I'd have been able to avoid the cheese table either. Mmm.

And this scene made me laugh so much:

“I have a job now. I’m a fully-functioning adult!”
Lisa returns to her mirror, “You’ve got cheese on you.”

I'm still really curious about why Justin was Oliver's lawyer. You gave just enough information for it to be really intriguing and just little enough that it's frustrating to not know. Haha, I'm right with Edie there in wanting to ask loads of questions :P

I love that Justin was the one to overdo it on wedding themes and planning, it's refreshing to see that role go to the guy rather than the girl once in a while!


I can't say I'm too surprised with the stuff about Rose. I don't think Oliver was a jerk for that - they were really in the same boat there. Rose did seem like the type of person who's in love with fame. Eh, she'll find another famous Quidditch player ;)


Gah, I think I've worn out the capslock button on my keyboard with this review. But I have no regrets. Awesome, fantastic, fabulous, splendiferous chapter. Love this story.

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for another review, it means a lot that you've decided to stick around.

That's a very funny point about only mentioning Seamus's hair twice in that paragraph. Yes, she definitely was not paying the most attention to him... I've always wanted to have an interaction between Edie, Seamus, Dean and Hypatia. But a Dean-less one will have to do!

Speaking of him, he is a bit moody huh? The next chapter will get more into this, but I've always seen him as brooding and controlling. Among his many other good qualities, of course! He is a great book character, and I've always thought he had a good sense of humor and his artsy side is fun. But the way he treats Ginny in OotP is a bit controlling... which does not bode well with Edie.

Haha, yes, a little frustrating indeed! I very much wanted to explain why Justin was his lawyer, but I also was about to dump all of the Rose information on readers... which, to be fair, a lot of you probably saw coming. But it felt like both, erm, "reveals" would have been a bit much.

GAH Justin. He's one of my favorites, because he's just so... JUSTIN. I love writing about him because he embodies so many things that frustrate me, but he's also such a sop. Much like his brother, Peter.

Yes kiss, kiss, kiss! I always struggle with those scenes, because half of me is melting and gooey and my heart going pitter-patter... and the other half is me trying not to vomit. But hopefully it was still slightly weird enough... Hence there were other people standing around, and I didn't really describe the scenery of the flower garden, or what Oliver was wearing, and LOOK I'M TRYING HERE.

Thank you again, dearie. I've been waiting to write this chapter forever, and I'm glad you've enjoyed the read ♥

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