Reading Reviews From Member: Lululuna
  
632 Reviews Found

Review #26, by LululunaHouse of Cards: Nine of Diamonds

26th March 2014:
Hello! :)

Ahh, it's so bad but I actually did read ahead a little bit after the last chapter and didn't review - this last month has been insane between RL and school! :( But I'm really excited to be almost caught up, I enjoy this story so much.

Oh, poor Sirius. :( I'm not sure if I've said this before, but I really do love how you write him here. In so many stories he's this arrogant playboy, which is great, but this story really shows how vulnerable and mistreated he is, how his unhappiness comes from such a personal and private place. There is so much nuance in every action - kicking the floor to leave a mark, as if he wants to mark the house and prove that he was a member of the family after all while simultaneously destroying the fancy furnishings. The focus on Sirius leaving marks in the house reminded me of the tapestry which he was blasted off of - he wants to leave a mark to prove he existed since they are so quick to vanish him from the family history.

And then the comparison to James' father was quite interesting as well. I liked how Orion doesn't add "do I make myself clear" at the end of his statement - it was so interesting in showing how even though Sirius is the underdog (no pun intended...) of the family, Orion doesn't want to insult the family honour or pride in his own spawn or something by implying that Sirius is stupid. It's such a complex duality in their relationship.

Well I'm glad Narcissa isn't dead! :P Sad how everybody treats her so delicately, so preciously, while Sirius is both a possession yet also disposable at the same time.

The contrast between Regulus and Sirius is quite interesting. I like how Reg is so polished and held together, and how in comparison Sirius is a bit of a mess, both physically and emotionally. The moment where Reg woke him up was a perfect example of that, and who holds the power in the brotherly relationship.

Alphard! He's so funny, and I like how he's presented as a bit of a goofy character and the Sirius feels that he can safely laugh at him as well as with him. Seeing the exchange of wits with Barty was quite interesting as well - I love how so many people are hinting at some sort of more-than-friendship between Reg and Barty, and how it's a bit of a sensitive subject for Barty. Hmm...and Bellatrix is having a bit of a fit, it seems. She's never quite normal, but I'm very curious about how exactly her head is working.

I do love all the hints of Reg/Barty though, they're quickly becoming head-canon for me! I was actually quite sad that you guys didn't place in the Speed Dating as your stories were some of my favourites! :( (fan girl moment, haha).

Great chapter! :D

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Review #27, by LululunaPlaying Pretend: The Last Remaining Fan

26th March 2014:
Hello! :) I'm here from the review swap on TGS!

I really loved this! I think it's fascinating how in your stories you seem to focus on the psychological struggles of the character, and thus give a whole new side to them. This was the case here - it was just a bittersweet story in a way, of loss identity and projection of self, and something which both felt very much like Lockhart which unveiling a new side to him and the repercussions of the events of Chamber of Secrets.

...led to a room with a view. At first, I wasn't so sure about this sentence, as I was wondering what the view actually was! But I've decided that I do like it, since the uncertainty of what the view is shows how Lockhart doesn't really "see" what he needs to see or have a specific identity or future to look upon. So it was an interesting choice to not actually describe the view. The other thing that I liked in this story was how it played on the idea of Lockhart being a spectacle, especially through the harsh circumstances of his death. And so this sentence could also be taken to mean that he was the view for the nurses and spectators to gawk at. So either way, an interesting symbol.

...was repeated time after time in many different styles of handwriting. I found this was such a wonderful way to show how Lockhart's personality has been forced to evolve and change due to his memory loss. He was so invested in signing his fanmail - manic, almost - and so the fact that he would cling to that yet not have a specific signature or identity with which to carry out that deed was quite tragic.

It's also interesting how even after losing himself, Lockhart is still so motivated and kept in place by his fans. But there's an interesting reversal there - instead of his fans existing to vindicate the lies that he told when he had his memories, they exist to help lead him back to some understanding of identity and truth. I thought the mention of his desperation was interesting - it fit in well with how I perceived Lockhart from when Harry and company went to visit him in OoP. It's like that boundless enthusiasm and self-worth has been transformed into a desire for the self-worth, which makes all the difference.

I like how the old woman who died was never actually identified as the fan who wrote to him, but how Lockhart took that as a sign that she had died. In a way, I wonder if he wanted to die - if, as he constructed and reconstructed so many stories and things about himself, it felt right that she should die so that he could move on. I'm probably way off here, but that was an interesting interpretation which occurred to me. The little detail about her asking for his advice about parasols and mice were quite sweet as well. :)

It was one of few selfless acts, or so the person who wrote his obituary would remark. I thought this was quite interesting, how after his death the media reverts to constructing a self for him and making assumptions, like that he had been acting selflessly when he was cleaning up. It shows how by creating a life and self for himself and then losing it, he really was punished for his lies, and how the way he was treated as a spectacle or display (or a view!) carried through and was used against him after his death.

The whole story was told in a really whimsical, distant style - it almost gave the impression of drifting away, if that makes sense. Or at least that's how I felt while reading it. I also really liked the double meanings, and had a lot of fun interpreting different angles and depths to the story - it's always so great to read a fanfiction which is so complex and unique. I'm sorry for rambling so much, hopefully at least some of this review makes sense! :P

You did a lovely job, I really enjoyed reading this very original and poignant story! :)

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Review #28, by LululunaInitiate: The Professor's Intervention

22nd March 2014:
I cannot believe you ended it on this cliffhanger, of all cliffhangers! :P Well, actually I can see why, since this is one of the greatest mysteries of your story, but ahh I'm just so excited to find out! :D I personally am crossing my fingers for Gryffindor as that would be such a game changer for the HP verse and just be really interesting to see how it would affect Draco. But who knows, perhaps he'll surprise us all and go into Hufflepuff? :P

I liked seeing the dilemma Remus faced with how to discipline Harry. It makes sense that he would have to follow the rules and not show favouritism.

Aw, it was so lovely seeing Harry jump up to defend Hermione - just perfect, really. And then how Ron caught her when she fell into the compartment! Aw, I thought that was just a really nice moment with how they came together to defend her from Hydrus. And hmm, Draco left Hydrus and the other Slytherins on purpose... interesting.

I can't wait to see more of everybody, and where Harry and Blaise will be sorted and especially Draco! :D This was such an exciting chapter, I really do love this story! ♥

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Review #29, by LululunaThe Worst: At The Burrow

21st March 2014:
Hi Aditi! :) I'm here for your requested review from like a month ago, I'm really sorry it took this long to get here. :( The Battle really took a lot of my reviewing inspiration and time as I'm sure you can relate to. :P

This was a really wonderful chapter! :) I really like how now that Delilah Jones has been taken care of, Dominique is starting to realize the true, lifelong consequences of what it means to be a werewolf. It's so interesting how she hasn't really thought about it much until now, almost as if she's in denial. So much has happened in the last month, and I feel that she's been busier with solving the mystery and bringing the people who hurt her to justice rather than accepting the everyday reality of the situation. Her confused emotions about her scar were so sad - but I'm glad that Teddy is there to support her and show her that she deserves to love herself for who she is.

I loved the Burrow gathering and that warm, Weasley feeling, from how much food there was to how welcoming and supportive everybody was. But then there was also the darker, more stressful undertone, and I could tell how Dom felt a little uncomfortable and like her family was nervous for her. That seems very realistic, although of course a lot of the worry is in Dominique's head. Her fear of the moon and dwelling on how symbolic it would become reminded me of Remus and his fear of the moon as well.

Hermione was just wonderful here, I think you wrote her very nicely in terms of canon. She had that kind, thoughtful and very perceptive character which I loved about her in the HP books, and I like how her nurturing instincts have grown and shown her to be this very motherly figure who also is good at taking action. Hermione brewing the potion for Dom is just perfect since it took me right back to the Polyjuice potion in Myrtle's bathroom days. :P

It's quite upsetting how the Ministry doesn't have the potion on hand for werewolves - seems like they're just as useless as they've always been, sadly. :( The idea of Dom having to wait for the potion and brewing the potion for her being illegal is just quite corrupt and unfair, and makes me worry for the people who are in similar situations to Dom but might not have the resources she does.

One thing about that conversation which made me curious though, was why Hermione was worried about Arthur being concerned about Hermione breaking the Ministry's rules and giving Dominique the potion? I would imagine that the whole family would want Dom to be as safe and comfortable as possible during her transformation, and Arthur isn't exactly a saint himself considering he hid a magically enhanced flying car. :P I'd be more worried about Percy, personally, since he was a bit of a rule-stickler in the books. So maybe that's something to consider if you edit this chapter as it did confuse me a little. :)

And the proposal! Aw, poor Teddy. :( I suspected something was up the whole chapter, and I was right! :D His proposal was very sweet - I especially liked how he mentioned their first kiss and what the garden at the Burrow meant to them, aw. ♥

That being said, I think Dominique did the right thing in stopping him from proposing. It's sad, and uncomfortable, but I don't think this is the best time for her to have something like this, another change in her life, coming onto her plate. She's about to have her first transformation, she's still coming to terms with herself, and Teddy should know her well enough to wait until she's ready and in a stable and accepting place before putting another thing on her plate, even if it's a happy thing. Dom still has a lot of personal issues and identity problems she needs to cope with, and I think she needs to learn to be herself again. :)

Here are a few little nitpicky things I noticed (feel free to ignore them, of course! :))

her thoughts resuming to the scar... I feel like "resuming" is a bit of an odd word to use in this sentence. "returning to the scar" would make sense, or "she resumed thinking about the scar," because of the kind of verb it is.

hide any part of yours from me... "yours" should be "yourself" I think.

She said excitedly, hugging her sister and ushering them in. Dominique hugged her back then fell into step beside Victoire. I just noticed that these two sentences contradicted one another, the way it reads now is that they hugged, Victoire let them in, Dominique hugged her again, and then they walked in. So it's a little out of order.

Mama thought you are not coming... "are" should be "were."

her father who sat on the sofa... Should be "was sitting on the sofa" because... I think it's called a progressive verb? If he actually did the action of sitting down when she was looking at him then it would fit, but because he's already sitting should be "was sitting." :)

This was a really great chapter, I think one of my favourites so far! I'm looking forward to the next one especially and seeing how Dominique copes with her transformation and how it might change her. I wonder if she might even have a positive experience and realize that being a werewolf is something she can cope with.

Thanks for requesting and I hope you find this review helpful.This was a great read! :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

I definitely found this review helpful and I'll look into the things you pointed out, and edit as soon as I get some time =)

I am glad you liked the way I wrote Dominique here and all her emotions. It's also great to know that you found the Weasley gathering realistic as I am not very good with family gathering stuff but it's nice to know you liked it.

It's a relief that you liked Hermione too and felt her tied with canon. Thank you! And yes, the Arthur part, I should change it to Percy! Thanks for the suggestion xD

I quite agree with your thoughts on the proposal. Teddy wanted to bring some happiness into Dom's life with the proposal but he needs to understand that this is really not the best time as Dom is still coming to terms with her new identity. Nonetheless, Dom will explain things to him (or will she? ;)).

Thank you once again for your detailed and thoughtful review =)


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Review #30, by LululunaAcanthus: A Guise

21st March 2014:
I'm so close to being caught up! :D

Hmm, well I think Scorpius is probably wise to be suspicious, but at the same time sometimes being overparanoid might cause them to alienate the people of the 1920s even more. I'm also a little mad at Scorpius for refusing to talk about the potion as I want to know more about it as well! :P

Haha, Rose's comment about sneaking away with Lorcan to speak more casually made me laugh. That's definitely what I would do in this situation.

A quick thing - here is says that they found a hair pin of Rose's, but wasn't that a comb in the earlier chapter? Unless the comb was the kind which just gets stuck/pinned in someone's hair, then just ignore me. :)

The poor owl! :( Is is strange that I actually felt really sad for it? I also liked the explanation of religion among wizards, and it makes sense that they would have some religion, especially if the family had married into Muggle families at some point I think. That part also did well at showing how defensive Hasani is and how it takes a while for him to become comfortable and not suspicious with people.

Poor Rashidi as well! :( I still suspect him a little but it is very sad, although at least Hasani can be there with him for the end. As Dalila said, nobody should have to die alone and this way he gets two of his grandchildren to be there with him. It makes me sad as well how he never gets to see Acanthus, unless he has a miraculous recovery soon.

I have no idea what is going to happen next! :P Presumably Hermione and Ron will have some plan of action to deal with Frederic, if he's still alive. I'm excited to find out! :)

Author's Response: I'm so sorry for taking a week to respond to this, I just didn't have the time until now! :(

Hahaha, Scorpius has his own agenda out there, so him being suspicious is probably a good thing given what happens in the next chapter and the ones following on from that. Yes, I imagined it would get tiring because when I can't speak casually it for a while it's rather exhausting.

Ooh, thanks for pointing out that! In an earlier draft it was a clip but then it was a comb, so I'll change that. Seeing all of these things just reminds me I need to do a thorough edit of the whole story soon :OP

I'm glad that you liked the inclusion of religion because even though I'm not religious it only felt right, given that it was set in Egypt where there's a strong religious history and it was fun to add in.

He's in the next chapter so don't worry, but there will be no Acanthus for him. I guess it's just one of those cases where you almost wish for something too much so you can never get it. Thanks for such a fab review, Jenna and sorry again for taking aeons to respond!

-Kiana


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Review #31, by LululunaAcanthus: Reunions

21st March 2014:
Hello! :)

Ah, the section at the beginning was so exciting. I could really feel Scorpius' confusion which carried through to me as a reader, and I really had no idea what was going on. It's quite frightening, the effect that the time travel has on them, and really the middle of a desert is an especially troubling place to appear into when you're in a weakened state.

But yay, they're reunited! :D Poor David, looks like he's feeling a little left out, but I'm so glad to see Rose and Scorpius back together that it doesn't really matter. This showed how much they've been thinking about one another since being parted, and how being together again just feels like coming home.

I'm quite worried about what might happen... hmm, Scorpius seems very sure that he's going to die! What I'm predicting - and hoping - now is that Scorpius and Rose will get back safely - perhaps Hermione will work some magic? but that Lorcan will choose to stay in the past willingly as he seems to have settled in quite well. But I really have no idea! You're so good at keeping the readers guessing!

And they kissed! Rose is so cute and relatable with how she's worried about being sweaty and what Scorpius might think. The kiss was long-awaited and just lovely. ♥

Author's Response: Hi!

Whoo, the beginning was alright! I always hate writing scenes involving time travel because if it was me I would think seeing live history was the best thing ever but I guess it's not the same for the others so toning down excitement was a little boring :P

Yay, I was so excited writing this, and even though I've written a couple more since this one it's still strange to think that they're back together :P Be worried, and maybe Scorpius is right, maybe he isn't, it will all be revealed in the coming chapters! Hermione and Lorcan will definitely feature in what happens next, so don't worry about that!

Haha, I know! They finally get together and she can't stop worrying :P Thanks for another fab review!

-Kiana


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Review #32, by LululunaAcanthus: Bones

21st March 2014:
Hi again! :)

Ooh, the bones are so creepy! My first thought was that there might be something about the people who tried to find Acanthus in the past, and that there's a curse associated with the city itself. The moment when she first saw the bone, and how it was personified as jaunting out of the temple, was so supernatural and creepy, though it made me laugh how Rose actually hoped it had been a ghost. If it was me and there was a ghost I would be Freaking. Out. but I guess she's used to seeing them around Hogwarts and knows better.

I liked the mention of the British Museum! That was a cool historical reference and it's quite interesting to think about how the wizards might be involved with the Muggles regarding the museum.

It's nice seeing Hasani warming up to Hermione, though it felt so typical of Ron to dislike him and to be all grumpy while traveling. He doesn't do very well with being uncomfortable or hot, I feel. :P Hugo and Ron being bitter and grumpy was quite funny, however, and I really liked the description of putting sunscreen on their burned skin.

Frederic Russell, hmm? I wonder if any of the people Rose is with are called Russell?! I'm so curious about what is going on, and Frederic is so creepy and ominous. Saying that he doesn't care that he dies as he's fulfilled his purpose.. definitely something is not quite right with him.

I think the paragraph from Rashidi beginning with "You will find a way back..." was repeated twice. And in the second use it said "person" instead of "past" (just letting you know in case that use is the proper placement). :)

Ahh, I'm so excited to find out what happens! Your AN made me all excited! I feel sad for Rashidi (though still perhaps a little suspicious of him...) and am really curious about how all the paths will intersect. This was another fantastic chapter!

Author's Response: Hi!

Ooh, great guess with the bones they will be explored more throughout the story. Well, their reason will be, but don't worry they're not so bad! Haha, yeah I forgot about the Hogwarts connection as it must be pretty weird being used to ghosts as they're not the most normal of things, but that and being a journalist who's used to these things helped a lot!

Aw, I'm glad you liked it, I always had this headcanon of things like that being linked to the magical world so it was so much fun to make it happen here :P

Yes, Ron does get grumpy very easily! I don't think he'll ever lose that side to him so I feel proud of Hermione because I wouldn't want him around after what he was like in DH. They will cheer up...sort of though, just wait really!

Hmm, is a very good word to use here! There was a clue about him in the first few chapters but I can't say more than that. It's sort of all revealed in the last chapter posted so just wait and see.

Thanks so much for that, someone else pointed that out to me and I swore I had corrected but I guess not. Be suspicious, well, he has a tale to tell and then you can decide for yourself whether he deserves suspicion or not. :P Thanks for another fantastic review :D

-Kiana


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Review #33, by LululunaAcanthus: Motes of History

21st March 2014:
Hello, Kiana! :)

There is some really wonderful descriptive writing here, with Hermione and her observations. I was just drinking up every word - how hot it is and how Hermione is fighting to ignore it for Rose's sake, how frustrated she feels as she kicks up the sand, how out of place she is. And then the descriptions of Hasani - I particularly liked the phrase about the tan lines on his face, and his broken English. You do such an amazing job of creating Cairo here.

It was a little frightening how Hasani was quite accusatory with Hermione, but he's upset and frightened. I liked how he seemed to hold a bit of a suspicion of grudge against foreigners, and considering how many tourists he might have to put up with and how he sees Rose leading his family away that feels very realistic. I cringed a little when he broke all the perfume bottles and the mess it made, and how it made him emotionally slip over the edge - his fear and his grief feel very real.

I like how Hermione kept her head in this situation, but following her emotions as well - that's just how she was in the HP books so I love what you've done to adapt her character into a mother here. That was a lovely ending to their encounter, and I'm so curious about what steps they are going to take and what might happen.

I was wondering, is there a reason why they can't just Apparate back to Cairo? I'm not sure if I missed an explanation or something, like maybe it's too far, or Apparating across the desert is very difficult or something. :)

Scorpius is worrying me a little bit here. His logic doesn't seem quite reasonable, especially the him being killed part. And the comment about the capture being too easy makes me quite worried as well - time travel is just so confusing so I hope these guys know what they're meddling with! Scorpius eating bone seemed quite ominous so I'm very curious to learn more about it. :)

The descriptions of Acanthus were amazing! I can't believe they're finally there, though it looks like the adventure is nowhere close to being relaxed or safe. I could really feel and see the temple and the streets in my mind. And I like Lorcan's enthusiasm about selling the story, and how it wouldn't be so bad to be trapped in the past. He's so positive, but I'm glad Rose is there to reign him in a little bit. Although not quick enough! Eep, I'm quit excited to read on and see what happens next! :D

Author's Response: Hi Jenna, can I just say this mim review bombing made my weekend, I know I'm replying to them at the end of it, but thank you so, so much for this! :D

I'm so glad that you liked the description because I was really worried it was too similar to the earlier chapters as Hermione is sort of following Rose's steps again here with going to the perfume shop again, so I did my best to try and vary it :P

Yes, I thought it would be interesting to explore the side of someone not liking tourists and seeing the more negative aspects of them unlike with Dalila and Rashidi who were friends straight away with them, but then to Hasani's credit he has been going through a lot with his family disappearing into thin air, so maybe it was ok.

Erm, yes, the apparaition thing is something purposefully under developed in this story because I'm not sure how well my ideas coincide with canon. If you mean in reference to Rashidi, as he's so ill I didn't think it would be advisable. Then I always imagine the Sahara desert having ancient sort of powers which mess up things like Apparating so that's my head canon for it :P

I know, Scorpius is definitely not rational here. I think he just wants Rose back he's like ah screw it I'll go along with my sort of theory and hope for the best :P Hehe, yes, his eating bones and what happens from there sort of creates a downward spiral which they don't really recover from ;)

I think you were the first one to note how even though they've got here their adventure is only really starting. *evil cackle* ah mysteries are so much fun to write because things can mean so many different things :P

Thanks for such an amazing review, I hope to respond to the others asap too!

-Kiana


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Review #34, by LululunaSummer at the Abbey: Interruptions at Dinner

21st March 2014:
Hi again! :)

Rose is great here! I liked how she chastised Fred from drinking, but had the solution to keep him from getting too drunk - that seemed like something Hermione might do as well.

I also really like how well you write the Doctor. I'm picture the 10th doctor right now as that the season I'm on but you bring him to life splendidly (how funny would it be if Albus suddenly realized... "hey, you look a lot like this Death Eater who impersonated Moody and tried to kill my dad!") :P. Are you picturing any specific Doctor or just his general essence? I can't remember if you mentioned it earlier or not. But I like how he sort of jumps into conversations and is very involved in everything. The mentions of the white paper he has and his excitement about getting started on the case felt very in character as well. And I liked the detail about why he can't return to Nazi Germany.

Poor Edith! I feel like that gets said quite often, but this is a very tough time in her life and you did a good job of hinting at that. Also how she's a little blunt and not as friendly as she could be to the others, that felt very in character.

The characters are wonderful - I do think the story could benefit from a little more description of the setting and the characters, though it does help that I've seen Downton so I can envision it that way. The story is moving along at a fast pace, but it doesn't feel rushed at all, which I quite like. I'm looking forward to the murder investigation as well - somehow I think there could be alien involvement but am curious to learn more.

Great chapter! :)

Author's Response: Yay! My #1 reviewer!

Rose is definitely her mother's daughter.

I'm trying to write the 11th Doctor here - I find him to be the easiest to write. You just pretend that you're writing a small child in a man's body who is capable of spectacular insight.

I needed a reason why the Doctor couldn't go rescue Michael Gregson. Because he would if he could. But Edith has to be mopey and depressed and mean cause let's face it, that's the best Edith! Keep an eye on her...

I agree that I need more details. Usually, I'm trying to get everything down before it leaves my head, I forget to detail what is going on.

As for alien involvement, I suggest you take a peek at the banner. There's a nice clue there!

Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #35, by LululunaMottled Blue: One funeral.

18th March 2014:
I HAVE A HYPOTHESIS!

Hehe, I actually guessed this and had a moment of excitement about halfway through the chapter but the letter made me quite certain. However instead of stating outright who I think the murderer is and maybe this being a spoiler for anyone who reads the reviews I will leave you clues to guess who my guess is. :P (yes I am cool).

1. The murderer has something in common with someone who is quite close to Victoire.

2. You have written about the murderer before, and they were quite mad but in a different way.

3. The murderer survived, but not everybody knows she survived in the fandom world.

4. Steak.

Hehe. I'm so excited, I can't believe I didn't realize before (though admittedly I could be wrong about this and just looking silly). You did a brilliant job planting the clues, however, especially here. It makes sense especially that Hermione and Ron would be targeted first...

For a while at the beginning I was wondering if the murderer had something to do with the number one, since there are all the matching chapter titles, and was wondering if it could be Harry or Neville or someone else associated with "One." So that had me a little confused as well. :P (in a good way). I also was suspecting Victoire of knowing something/perhaps protecting somebody, but I suppose she was a bit of a red herring. Right now for some reason I'm predicting that Victoire is either dead or maimed, but that the murderer might impersonate her using Polyjuice? It's so tricky since this is the magical world so the criminals can really be extra sneaky.

I loved how Lily was blunt and her parents were warning her about it, and how she really doesn't care about her cousins as much as she cares about the case. She's quite funny. It was sweet to see Ron and Hermione being all cute and supportive of one another as well even if their situation of losing their children is very sad. I was quite curious about how Lily went about announcing that Hugo was dead - how awkward that he died on the day of Rose's funeral! Well... it's sad too, but just an awkward and unfortunate situation all around. :P

Wonderful chapter! :D

Author's Response: Sorry for this late response life/school/laziness is all I have as an excuse and hopefully that and my response will make up for it :P Hahah, I love how thought out your hypothesis is, it's much better than mine ever are :P Hmm, well all I can say is I know who you think it is, but whether it's the correct guess will be determined in the next chapter or the one after, as I still haven't decided how many chapters I want in total :P

Gah, I hate mysteries because I can't confirm whether you look silly or you have a reason to be excited because it's not the final chapter but either way, it's really cool to see your thought process behind everything!

Ooh, now I feel mean about including number one in everything :P At first, it was going to go up like one this, two that etc. but then it didn't really make sense as there was one golden trio, not two, so I just stuck with one, so no there's nothing in the chapter titles! Victoire is definitely a red herring, it's just how quickly the others realise that is the questions as their lives could depend on it.

Yes, Lily is an odd one, but I suppose that's why it's so much fun to write her because writing about people who always care about the right things can get boring after a while :P I know, but murderer's aren't the most considerate of people, and it would get against their pattern so we'll just have to let them have this one!

Thank you for such an amazing review, it's always so interesting to read your thoughts on the chapter :D

-Kiana


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Review #36, by LululunaAunt Muriel's Last Stand: Aunt Muriel's Last Stand

16th March 2014:
Hi Sian! :) I got all teary and happy after your review on Go Softly, and I know you didn't actually ask for a review swap but I am really in the mood for reading and reviewing your stories! ♥ I'm so close to having R&R'd all of them! :D

I loved this so much. You just captured Muriel so well and all the Weasleys, it really brightened up my day. :)

The opening was great: it felt so Christmassy and so descriptive, I could really see the house, feel the warmth coming from it. It was a very JKR-ish opening and really made me think of her writing. All the details are wonderful too - the fire, the food, the toys Arthur got as gifts. :P

...little Ginny was bundled up so much that her tiny form was scarcely recognisable hidden underneath a thick coat and woollen scarves, hats and gloves. I loved this! It was a perfect description and so adorable. I also really liked how she sat on Bill's broom: I can imagine her really idolizing him and him being protective over her while some of the other brothers just tease her. And then later... Ginny's plate was almost piled as high as her head... So much Christmas adorableness! ♥

Muriel is great here - how she's so coarse and aggressive, how she chastises Molly and the children, how she says the word "rapscallions." :P She really is so unapologetically nasty, just like she was in DH. So you wrote her perfectly in my opinion.

Poor Percy! :( It's a little sad at how even at this age he was picked on by his whole family - honestly, in scenes like this it's no wonder he abandoned them for a while. After years of being teased by the older brothers he probably looked up to and tormented by the twins, he was bullied in a way, even if he did return it sometimes by being pompous. He had such a brief appearance, but I felt that this scene foreshadowed his eventual actions very well.

This was such a wonderful story, and made me wish it was Christmas again. You did an impressive job of balancing all the Weasleys and keeping them in character, and this really reads and feels like canon. Loved it! :D ♥

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Review #37, by LululunaInitiate: Aboard The Hogwarts Express

16th March 2014:
Hello! :)

Ahh, is it strange that I almost teared up a little bit while reading this chapter? It's just so beautifully canon, but with so many other dimensions and backstories. I read it slowly so I could savour every word. :)

I love how Harry thought Sirius was joking about the platform! I don't blame him, really, but it was so cute how that's his thought process and how he knows Sirius so well to anticipate his moves. Their goodbye was really lovely - it's really nice to see Harry being sent off by somebody who loves him, and really shows how different his life is than in the original books. But it was interesting how the dark undertones of the story are already starting to come across - like the father who tried to curse Lupin. I wonder if we'll hear from the kid who it was? In my mind I kind of think the kid was Zacharias Smith, but I suppose he could be anybody. :P

I just realized that if Remus is going to be DADA professor, then he'll have only one year because of the curse. Uh oh. :( Everybody already knows he's a werewolf, so that might not be the reason he's fired like in the books. I'm curious, but I hope he survives unscathed! And I am so pleased that Harry has Remus there for him this year, I can't wait to see what pranks Sirius might help him with. :P

Tonks growing a third eye to keep an eye on Remus was great. I think I've mentioned this before, but I love how you use her abilities to full advantage and so creatively.

Aw, Ron! I love how they are already friends, and how he finds Harry right away. The inclusion of the other characters was great as well, with just the right amount of connection to canon to be realistic, but different enough to keep the story fresh. I feel like those are the signs of a great AU story. Seeing Hermione was great, and how she stopped in to hang out with the boys. And Draco! He made me laugh, but I'm glad he's still being mean to Ron. Well, not glad exactly, but I find his character so contradictory and dynamic because of it. It's a little sad, too, how he probably was driven away by his future-Slytherin friends which is why he went to sit with Harry, and I feel like Draco wouldn't know how to explain that feeling of rejection. So I liked how you left that unsaid.

The whole Scabbers thing is so interesting as well! I had forgotten how Peter replaced himself with the rat, but it's so clever to see all these plot points coming back. And how Draco likes rats - that was such an unexpected moment, seeing him play with Scabbers, but it makes sense. I also like how Scabbers is quite innocent and playful here, as I thought he was a cute pet in the books right up until the moment we found out his true identity. :P

This was such an amazing chapter, and I can't wait to see where they're all sorted. You've done a flawless job, as always! :D See you next week!

(PS. This is my 600th review ever! Yay! :))

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Review #38, by LululunaSummer at the Abbey: Thomas's Observations, a Talk With Lady Mary, and Fred's Flirting

15th March 2014:
Hello! :)

Haha, I totally forgot about Thomas! :P Hmm, I wonder how he and Fred might get along in the future. That might be cute - Thomas is one of those characters whom I really love to hate, but he does have a lot of potential and is always interesting to watch or, in this case, read about. Fred's flirting made me laugh as well.

I liked the part about the Doctor coming down and telling the servants all these stories. That really captures his personality so well. And Shakespeare and the witches, I remember them! :P

It's interesting that Thomas is getting suspicious. Knowing him, he might try to use this information to get somebody else into trouble...

I liked the part with Mary as well, and how she's making an effort to bond with the girls. It was interesting to hear about how the Doctor was involved at Downton. I also liked how she felt incomplete after the Doctor left, like so many of his companions seem to. I'm very curious to find out more about why the Doctor is at Downton and what mischief everybody is going to get up to.

Great chapter! :)

Author's Response: Don't forget about Thomas! He'll play an important role in the story. He's actually one of my favorite Characters on Donwton Abbey. I sympathize with him so much.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #39, by LululunaTo be a Gryffindor: To be a Gryffindor

14th March 2014:
Hello! :)

Aw, this was such a beautiful little story. I thought it was so touching, and did a good job of showing how Katie in particular fits into Gryffindor. She has to be extremely brave to let herself be lead back out into the light, and to rediscover her faith and love in herself.

I think the most likely is that she was captured and tortured. Something which I found quite interesting in the story were lines like this one, where the narrator almost seemed to be talking straight to the reader about Katie. It really connected me with the story and gave this omniscient perspective into her struggles.

It was so interesting how she was afraid of heights and of pictures, and how after her experience with the necklace the idea of being in the air was changed for her. And then at the end, how they were looking up at the sky... it brought the story full circle in a really lovely way.

Oliver was so sweet in his ordinariness, and I like how Katie fancied him at school as well! :) I loved the photograph and how that brought back the happy memories - and Fred! :( That caught me by surprise, but Katie's empathy showed what a wonderful person she is, and that she can be again. And I was glad to hear that in the end, George knew that Fred would want him to be happy.

The ending was so promising, and I loved it. This was a really lovely story, and I'm so glad I read it. :)

Blackout Round 3

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Review #40, by LululunaBrain Activity: The Zombie Queen

14th March 2014:
Hello again! :)

Haha, so at first when I saw the Ci I assumed the red on Ginny's head was... blood. But then I realized it was her hair and not so gruesome... anyway, the image was great. I especially liked the zombies' red and deranged eyes.

...lunged gracefully like a jungle cat. The beggar never had a chance.Ahh, first of all this is an awesome description and shows how he's a predator now. And I felt quite sorry for the young beggar, what a sad back story. It felt very JKR-ish though, since that's how she writes the beginning of each book. It was also terrifying seeing Harry from an outsider's perspective and how he might appear. And then the last line in that section, about the high-pitched screams, was so sublime and dark.

I was just biting my lip with nervousness the whole time because Ginny was being so stubborn! Argh. I mean, I see her point, and she did say some rather poignant things about just wanting to sleep and make it through the funeral, and how she helped Hermione when Ron died, but still.

So Harry got hold of a suit, hmm? I suppose that before he would have been naked, which weirdly isn't as terrifying as wearing a suit. And this fits his status as the zombie king. Also, the last line made me laugh, even though I felt a little sad for Ginny of course. :P It was just brilliant.

I'm really enjoying this story, and I'll try and be more vigilant about leaving reviews! :D

Blackout Round 3 - Staff Reviews 6/6

Author's Response: Hahahaha no that's just my horrible attempts at coloring hair hahaha.

Awww, I actually really loved writing the beggar scene and getting to see this different point of view. I should start doing that more often to be honest. I think the story would benefit from it, to see kind of what is going on. OMG that just gave me an idea! Oh you're brilliant.

Aaaanyway, yeah the whole thing with Ginny, I think she was just so confused and overwhelmed, and Hermione isn't making too much sense, so I get it. But...meh haha.

And yeah, Harry Zombie in a suit, at least he had the decency to cover up! We can't have nekkid zombies running through the city!! haha!

Thank you so very much for your review!


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Review #41, by LululunaBrain Activity: Residue

14th March 2014:
Hi again! :)

Haha, the Ci is just beautiful. I really like Hermione's hairstyle.

I like how Neville is the calm, reassuring influence for Hermione. It seems like he's matured and become the kind of person people rely on since leaving Hogwarts, which I love. Also, I liked the descriptions of his office and his life - they felt very rich in a way, and provide a great contrast to how his life and everybody else's lives are about to become rather less lovely.

The whole chapter was so frustrating in how Hermione kept trying to explain to Neville and Davies, and they didn't believe her. Davies especially was quite difficult and irritating. But of course that was very realistic, because why would they want to believe her? The whole situation is so difficult and terrifying, and If definitely felt the tense fear throughout the chapter.

I'm quite curious about how the potions acted to turn Harry into a zombie, and what significance there might be. It was cool that ingredients in things like the Draught of Living Death were in the Potions, and how perhaps that might affect the mystery of why this happened. Another thing I like is how you mentioned Inferi and how they're quite different from this zombie phenomenon, as these mentions help the story make sense in the HP world.

And oh no, he escaped! :P Well, it's quite exciting yet terrifying seeing what will happen next and how the world will be affected.

I really enjoy reading this story, it's so creative and I like your writing style a lot! :)

Blackout Round 3 - Staff Reviews 5/6

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Review #42, by LululunaBrain Activity: The Zombie Lord

14th March 2014:
Hello! :) I actually started this story a while ago and have been meaning to return and review for ages! But life is so busy... :( So I'm glad to have the chance now! :)

First of all, I think this is such a cool idea, to bring zombies into the HP world. And I've read ahead a little so I know how things about to get very bad, very fast, as always seems the nature of zombie apocalypses. So you've captured that perfectly.

Though the story gets a little goofier and more intense as it goes on, I really like how this chapter did a good job portraying grief. You wrote Hermione, Ginny and Albus' grief so well, with how they can barely believe that Harry is dead, and going through the stages of anger and denial. Hermione was so lovely as well, with how she truly cared and was there for both her own sake and for Ginny's sake.

I actually found it quite realistic in the context of the story that Hermione would be driven by her grief and her empathetic pain for Ginny to bring Harry back to life. She's an emotional, caring person, and it fits with her character that she wants to make things better for her friends.

I like all the details in the writing here. How Harry smelt like death, how she kept the room cold to keep the body fresh... it was very vivid and well-written. :)

This is such a great first chapter, I really enjoy this story! :D Onto the next chapter now!

Blackout Round 3- Staff Reviews 4/6

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Review #43, by LululunaA long summer: Sulking the day away

14th March 2014:
Hi again! :)

I love the chapter image! It foreshadows the chapter perfectly, and is quite funny and English. I like how Harry looks quite distinguished but also a little concerned as well!

I also quite like the tally at the beginning, especially how Harry was planning on running away from home. :P I wonder if the cupboard he was locked in was the one under the stairs? I remember reading that he used to threaten his kids he would lock them there in a prior chapter, which was quite funny.

It was great seeing Ron and Rose and how clearly Ron's kids aren't all that better behaved either. The whole exchange between Rose and Albus made me laugh as well, especially when she just hoped nobody noticed he was "dead." Ron being too tired to try and figure out what Rose was up to made me laugh as well. Also, Ron and Harry made a comment about who James inherited his moodiness from... I think James' ability to hold a grudge reminds me more of his uncle Ron than anyone else! :P

And haha, the ending. I'm glad Harry can outsmart them and even had more dinner ready for James. He should give himself more credit. :P

I'm really loving this and I'm going to favourite it so I'll know if you update! :D This is just such a fun story and reading it really makes me happy. ♥

Blackout Round 3 -Staff Reviews 3/6

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Review #44, by LululunaA long summer: Chocolate wars

14th March 2014:
Hi again! :)

Haha, this was great. I was giggling the whole way through. Their game of Quidditch was quite creative/violent, and it was funny how Harry was okay with it as long as it kept them occupied. I also liked the subtle reference to Ginny taking their brooms as I'm sure it was punishment for some prior mischief. :P

The chocolate bar saga was so funny. Poor Harry, not having a whole bar to himself for all that time! The kids peering in at Harry suddenly startled me as it did him, so you definitely wrote the suspense and sneaking around well. :P And then James going up the drain pipe... so clever! I'm glad Harry got to enjoy his chocolate even though he felt sick after. And James' comment about the chocolate tasting better if it belonged to Harry was so true! It always seems to work that way.

I think the funniest part of the story is the sort of nonchalant but goofy tone of the story, and also just how unapologetically bad the kids are. They're just out of control, but I feel like Harry relates to that and doesn't do much to discipline them at the same time. This suits his canon personality quite well as he was never much of a rule enforcer at Hogwarts and such.

Another wonderful chapter, I loved it! :)

Blackout Round 3 - Staff Review 2/6

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Review #45, by LululunaA long summer: Clingy and dependant

14th March 2014:
Hi Tammi! :) I remember reading this awhile ago and loving it, yet only reviewing the first chapter for some reason. :( I'm sorry! So this is the perfect chance to re-visit this story and leave a review this time.

Hahaha, I really love how silly and fun this story is. The kids and their mischief are so funny, and there were so many little gems and funny moments. First of all, I love how the kids just walk all over Harry, yet pretend to be good when Ginny is around. I imagine that she inspires the same fear in them as Molly did in her kids.

Teddy always managing to find the umbrella stand really made me laugh, especially since it was a flashback to Tonks! I've never actually seen an umbrella stand in real life, but the idea of him always tripping over it is quite funny. And of course, poor Teddy has to get the boys' laundry! :P That was quite funny, especially how non-chalant they all were about it.

I love James here. Usually by this age in fanfic he's already a heartthrob with ten girlfriends but I like him even more here because he's so strange. The reminder of the Witch Weekly subscription was great and I giggled at the image of him swinging on the door. And not taking off his sock for three days... teenage boys are so delightful (not) and you really captured that well.

The kids' comments about being clingy and how their parents shouldn't have had kids if they wanted to be alone was quite funny. I love how clingy the kids are and how dependent they are on their parents, and am excited to read more! :D

I love this! :)

Blackout Round 3 - Staff Reviews 1/6

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Review #46, by LululunaSpread Your Wings: Chapter 1.

13th March 2014:
Hello! :)

Aw, this was such an adorable start to your story! It feels very refreshing and original as well, and Annabelle and Lily are so adorable in their innocence. I really like Annie so far, she seems down to earth but also quite quirky and fun, and I'm curious to find out more about her family and what happened to her mother.

The suspense of who Lily's boyfriend is was quite exciting! I really had no idea who it was going to be, but then when his name was announced I had to giggle. I'm curious to see how the twins might be in this story. The feeling of youth they have is great, like how Luna only lets her sons go on a date if they're together. I wonder if perhaps Annie will like Lorcan better than she suspects...

The dynamic between Lily and Annie is great. I like how they're quite playful and teasing, especially when Annie was teasing Lily about dating a boy who is so close to the family. I also liked the detail about Lockhart and how he's still thought of as a beautiful and vain man all these years later. :P

This was a lovely start to your story, and I enjoyed it! :)

Blackout Round 3 - 20/20

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Review #47, by LululunaFinally Got It Right: Part Two

13th March 2014:
Hello! :)

Yay, I love this so much! First of all, Xeno's girlfriend makes me so angry. She's so rude, and she just walks all over him and it's quite unnecessary. It's sad how he is trying so hard to help her see the true him, yet she thinks he's being weird or funny and can't sympathize. The fact that she thinks the wizarding world is a fantasy that he has is interesting as well, and I suppose he couldn't do actual magic in front of her because it might be breaking some magical laws.

I also liked learning more about Nargles! :P The collection was great, I wonder if any of those corks would someday go into making Luna's necklace!

I love the growing connection between Xeno and Capria, and how fascinated he is with her movement and watching her. She really seems so mystical, and they feel like kindred spirits. At the same time, I think you did a good job at hinting at her inventiveness and creativity, but also the potential danger of this. It's like her leaning over the fire and nearly catching her hair in it foreshadows the experiment which will eventually end her life. :(

You write her so well, with her long hair and leaning up to look at the spiderweb, and even the way she talks. Capria just feels so real, and I can't wait to see them grow as a couple. :)

Aw, yay for Astrelius! I hope his proposal goes well. He seems like a great older brother, and the brothers have so much love and respect for one another. It's really lovely to see.

I loved this, and will hopefully be back soon! :D I'm so excited to find out if the potion works, to see Xeno dump his evil Muggle girlfriend, and of course to see more of Capria. Because she is just lovely. ♥

Blackout Round 3 - 19/20

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Review #48, by LululunaOut of the Darkness: Into the Sun

13th March 2014:
Hello! :)

First of all, I'm in awe over the gorgeous banner you made! I love your use of colours in your graphics. You are very talented. :)

This was such a lovely story as well. Congratulations on succeeding in the Every Word Counts challenge and for doing it so well. I felt like Lily's love for Harry really shone through here, and it was all the more heartbreaking because we know her fate. We know she won't be there on the platform, to welcome him home... it reminds me of the scene in the books where Harry jealously thinks how it could have been his own mother kissing him goodbye on the platform instead of Ron's mum. So sad.

I liked how Lily seemed to have intuition about her fate, but that she would never admit that Harry could ever be killed with her. It's as if she had already promised to do everything she could to protect him - and she was right. This made me so sad that James won't be there to teach Harry's kids to be mischievous, that she'll never know Harry beyond his first year of life... but of course, she'll always love him and be there, even if he can't see her. :)

This was such a lovely little story and I really enjoyed it! :D

Blackout Round 3 - 18/20

Author's Response: Ahhh hehe! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! :D I'm very glad that you like it!


Thank you so much again - it was a bit difficult to manage to write, but I am quite happy that I succeeded!

I really wanted to do something different too than one entry I had read, and I believe most common (due to a different review I received from a reader who told me my story stood out. [Not that I am saying that aren't any better ones than mine either. :P]


Oh yeah... I never really thought of Harry's jealousy from the books, but now you mentioned it... *The feels*


Yeah, I believe Lily was a headstrong woman who was definitely determined to keep Harry alive.



I am sorry it made you sad, but I am glad that my fic has touched you. :)




Thank you so much for reading and leaving a thought-provoking review! And I'm happy that you enjoyed reading this one-shot! ^_^




- Asphodel


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Review #49, by LululunaHere Comes the Flood: Here Comes the Flood

13th March 2014:
Hi love! :) This was amazing, I'm so impressed at how you pulled it together so neatly in such a short amount of time! It fit the prompt of Slytherins and Gryffindors so perfectly.

I like how Blaise's Slytherin characteristics are an asset here - how he's good at sneaking around and keeping secrets, how he's very determined and resourceful, but in a quiet way. You made him fit well with his canon characterization while giving him this entirely different spirit which expanded upon his role in the books. I did like the mention of how he thought Ginny was attractive, as that played well into canon. Also, his rationale for wanting to join the DA was great as well, and I liked seeing his progress throughout the story as he started to see more and more how important it was to fight.

The imagery of the water flowing and leaking through was beautiful. I thought it was the perfect metaphor and each use was simply flawless. :)

There were so many little moments and characters I enjoyed here. Seeing the more hardened and suspicious side of Neville. Seeing how Blaise grew attached and protective over Luna, and how her innocent kindness was able to inspire that in him. How Draco was shown to be both terrified yet using his Death Eater status to continue to be a bully and have respect. How Blaise warned Neville they were going after his Gran. There were just so many pieces of the puzzle which were blended so flawlessly.

This was a wonderful story, Sian, and a perfect missing moment! :D Your writing was amazing, and I loved it! ♥

Blackout Round 3- 17/20

Author's Response: Hi Jenna! Aw, thank you for coming and taking the time to review this story in the Blackout! (And I'm sorry I'm so bad at responding to reviews compared to your awesome speediness!)

I really wanted to make sure that Blaise's Slytherin characteristics were on display in this story, so that it didn't just seem like he'd been wrongly sorted and should have been in Gryffindor all along or something. There isn't much about him in canon but it was fun to play with what we have - like the mention of Ginny, I'm so glad you picked up on that! I felt like he definitely became an asset to the DA in this because he was in Slytherin, and I wanted to show them working together well. I'm really happy you liked his reasoning for joining the DA here, and the development of his character over the story!

I'm so happy you liked the imagery of the water in this story! I was a bit worried that it would feel forced but I was writing it so quickly that I couldn't think of alternatives that seemed to fit as well.

I'm really glad that you thought those little pieces of the story seemed to blend together well to build up to the bigger picture! It was really important to me to attempt to show some of the changes that had happened at Hogwarts over the time, and the changes in the characters there which Harry didn't necessarily see the full extent of in the battle.

Thank you so, so much for this wonderful review, dear! ♥


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Review #50, by LululunaAmerican Wizardry: An M.D.I. Wizardís Journey: Gathering the Team

13th March 2014:
Hello! :) This is so exciting!

I thought this was a great start to the story and I'm really excited to learn even more about Richard and his experiences in England. It's really fascinating seeing your interpretation of what the American Ministry what be like and how their decision-making process could work. I especially liked the way they used magic in so many creative ways to facilitate the business, like using the names on parchment to summon the M.D.I wizards to the office.

The descriptions and care going into describing the offices and the thought patterns of Timothy were great as well. From the portraits, to the curtains... it was wonderful. Something you seem to do very well is set up a scene and situate the characters in it, which I really admire.

Seeing Bill was great! He felt very in character, but I especially liked how he seemed to be a little traumatized from the attack with Greyback. I'd never thought about it much, but having a man biting and scratching his face would be horrific! So you really brought that to life through the hints here.

It's really interesting seeing how informed the Americans were about the English situation, like the Minister's shock about Snape killing Dumbledore, and the hints of the DA and the Order. I'm looking forward to seeing the English wizarding world through Richard's eyes and how he perceives it differently.

This was a brilliant first chapter, and you wrote it so beautifully. I'm looking forward to the next one! :)

Blackout Round 3- 16/20

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry about the delay in responding...

I've been wanting to write a story with an American wizarding community. It's taken awhile to figure out how to portray the differences as well as to figure out how the Ministry would work with six time zones to consider. :)

Very soon, Bill will not be the only one that Richard and his fellow MDI wizards and witches will meet.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!
LEP:)


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