Reading Reviews From Member: Lululuna
  
716 Reviews Found

Review #26, by LululunaA Minor Setback: Chapter Six

6th July 2014:
Hi!!!

Wesley sounds like such a character, haha. It's funny how Seraphina is generally a little cold and a bit of a kill joy to others but he seems even more extreme. I was wondering how she knew who Sheldon Cooper was - you might not even need to use his name, but could show instead of reference how Wesley has Sheldon-like attributes with examples and interactions. So just a thought there, unless she watches Muggle TV. :)

Both the broom cupboard rant (and I totally see her point, haha) and the food fight made me laugh while reading this, they were so well written and amusing. I especially liked her adoration and excitement over the cheesecake - and I'm jealous she got to eat some! How sheepish the boys were was so endearing too. It's nice to see Al and Seraphina and his friends all bond a bit even if they are being a little slow to catch on to her being a nice Head Girl.

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: Wesley and Seraphina are really similar so it's probably why they clash, as you can already tell but he's definitely more extreme and even Seraphina realises that the dude's a little crazy. Oh yeah, that's why Seraphina made the Sheldon Cooper reference because she watches muggle TV at home (honestly, what do wizards do without a television).

The food fight scene was actually my favourite one to write in the chapter but I was worried that it was OOC for Seraphina to let them off the hook about it so I'm actually really relieved that you liked it and thought it well-written.

They'll eventually find out that she's not as bad as she seems. Seraphina only bites sometimes.

Thank ya for reviewing again!


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Review #27, by LululunaA Minor Setback: Chapter the Fifth

6th July 2014:
Hi Grace!

At first, I really didn't like Rose, haha. She was just so rude with saying how Seraphina was getting fat and then not even asking if she was okay, but demanding to know who the father was. But she definitely grew on me a little later on in the chapter with how she was actually being supportive and offering her friendship and help. That's what Seraphina really needs right now, and she should tell Albus for her own sake and on her own terms, not simply because it's the right thing to do. She's in a pretty delicate situation and should be able to handle it how she wants.

I liked the description at the end of the chapter with the long shadows and how she was feeling contented and tired. Those descriptions of Hogwarts and the setting are so great and really situate the story in the magical world which is awesome.

I'm still very curious about her parents and their reaction and what exactly they're going to say. It's been a bit easier for her so far since her parents are out of sight and out of mind but Christmas should be quite exciting.

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: Everyone in the Weasley-Potter family has this habit for being really blunt as I've come to notice. Rose and Seraphina share a dormitory so I guess even if she and Phina weren't friends, Rose would still know a little bit about Seraphina. If it had been a normal day, Seraphina probably wouldn't have cared how she looked but because she's pregnant, it's a big concern.

Everyone's mentioned her telling Albus because I can picture exactly how she's going to tell him and it's going to be the most awkward thing ever and I'm just super excited.

I get really serious about my description whenever the character is alone for whatever reason. I just keep chanting to myself that the reader must feel how it's supposed to feel to the character.

I've also got the whole parents finding out scene mapped out in my head, and some of it is even written down so that'll be happening soon as well.

Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #28, by LululunaA Minor Setback: Chapter the Fourth

6th July 2014:
Hola!

Eep, I forgot to put "House Cup 2014" at the end of the last chapter - fail. :P Ah well.

It's exciting for me to get to chapter four since I haven't met it yet with beta-ing! Woop!

I was actually a little unimpressed with how McGonagall was saying that Seraphina getting pregnant was breaking a rule! It seems a bit draconian for the school administration to interfere into students' intimate lives, to be honest, and policing sex is a bit extreme though I suppose Hogwarts is old fashioned. Though to be fair Seraphina is being punished enough with having her whole world turned upside-down so having her privileges taken away would just be cruel.

Hmm, I'm excited to see her consider adoption even more! I've never read/seen a teen pregnancy story on here where the character seriously considers adoption or goes through with it so I'm really looking forward to see how you handle it. It still feels like she hasn't really realized the implications of having a baby so it will be interesting to see her go through all of that.

The moment with Lily was so sweet! I'm glad she has that support system and Lily is quite adorable with how caring she is towards her. They make excellent friends. ♥

Okay, so now I'm really curious to hear more about Sera's family and her history. Are they Quidditch players or famous somehow but she keeps it quiet? Has she told her parents about being pregnant yet?!! Ahh, that sounds like a scary conversation.

Another very interesting chapter, onto the next one I go! :)

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: Bonjour!

I can see where you're coming from and I do agree that Hogwarts is old-fashioned but I guess I can kind of see where McGonagall is coming. I think if it had been any ordinary student, there might have been consequences but it wouldn't have been that big of a deal and adjustments would have been made if they chose to attend Hogwarts. That being said, Seraphina is the Head Girl and the Head Girl is supposed to be an example for younger students so having a Head Girl get pregnant wouldn't really be sending out the message that the staff would want. And besides, you would want to keep a teenage pregnancy from happening at Hogwarts because you wouldn't want to hinder your students education and make their life more difficult by having a child on the way. It would make it really difficult for the students to go onto further education and training in well-paying jobs if they have a kid to look after.

But because this is Seraphina and she's not one to give up easily, something positive might come out of the situation instead of something negative because it tells everyone else at Hogwarts, "Don't make my mistake but if you do, your life isn't over."

And can you imagine going up the stairs at Hogwarts while pregnant, that's reason alone to keep it all in your pants.

I've actually been debating about whether or not to end the story with Seraphina putting her child up for adoption or something like that. I really like the idea and I'm considering it as an alternative ending. I can definitely see what I could write a sequel about if she does put her child up for adoption. Well, I'll be talking to you about this anyway so we'll see how it goes.

There's a couple of Quidditch players in her family but for the most part everyone is just really invested in the game like the world gets really intense about football(soccer). And no, she has not told her parents that she'd pregnant but that scenes should be coming up soon!

Thank you again for the review!


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Review #29, by LululunaA Minor Setback: The Chapter After Number Two

6th July 2014:
Hi again! :)

Lily is just such a character, haha. I loved this chapter and just how nervous Seraphina was which translated to me because I was so worried about her being publicly embarrassed. The tampon excuse really is a stroke of genius because it's the sort of awkward, random thing that doesn't really make sense, but Seraphina shows how she's good at thinking on her feet with mentioning how Al was using tampons for pranks.

The hug at the end is just so cute! I like the sound of Auntie Lily, haha, and I'm looking forward to seeing their relationship develop as friends. You did a really good job of showing how Lily is quite moody and how her reactions to things can change very impulsively: she's a bit of a foil to Seraphina in a way who is quite methodological.

Another great chapter! :)

Author's Response: I've actually got no idea how on earth I came up with the tampon excuse, the only thing that I remember about coming up with that bit was trying to think of something that would be embarrassing for a girl and being on the time of the month always seems to be embarrassing for girls for some reason so I went with that.

I'm looking forward to writing their friendship. Seraphina leads quite an uneventful life (well, at least up until now) and Lily's going to be that bit of spontaneity that keeps Phina's life interesting.

Thanks again for the review!


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Review #30, by LululunaA Minor Setback: The Second Chapter

6th July 2014:
Hi again Grace! :)

Aww, another lovely shout-out at the bottom! :) I'm happy to help!

I'm so curious right now about their friendship before Hogwarts and how that ties into Seraphina's current character. She's so prickly and guarded, and I wonder if Albus not being her friend when they were at Hogwarts has something to do with that. You've definitely caused me to be very curious!

Poor Seraphina, she truly doesn't think she's funny, and that's sad because she actually can be quite witty. I think her dry way of talking and stating the obvious is quite entertaining, in fact. One thing I'm excited to see more of as well are her reactions to the actual pregnancy and how this will impact her life: right now I feel like she's fixating on Al, which is fine and gives her something to focus on, but soon she will have to face the fact that she's going to be a mother and her life is going to change dramatically.

Oh dear, the Lily cliff-hanger: reading this even stressed me out even though I know what happens! :P But Seraphina's awkward handling of awkward situations are part of what makes her so endearing, so it's so fun seeing how she handles them.

Another great chapter! :)

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: Hey again Jenna!

Expect to see a shout-out in every chapter because that's how I roll.

We will see exactly how Albus is connected to her and just how big of an impact he was on Seraphina's life. The suggestion was actually made by a reviewer who pointed out that ALbus needed to have some sort of connection to Seraphina otherwise the amount of attention that he was paying her would've been a little bit weird.

The fact that Seraphina doesn't find herself funny is actually one of my favourite characteristics about her. You bring up a very good point that I keep forgetting to talk about so I'm going to keep Seraphina's own reaction something to mention in the story in the next chapters or two that I post!

Thank you so much for reviewing again!


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Review #31, by LululunaA Minor Setback: Chapter of the First

6th July 2014:
Hi Grace! :) So even though I get to read this story anyway I've been meaning to come and drop by some reviews - to focus on the fun stuff instead of the nit-picky beta stuff - so this is just the perfect chance with the House Cup going on!

I love how you jump right into the action and show Seraphina character and how consistently logical she is. Her personality really seeps through the narration here and I feel like I know her, even just from this chapter. She's relatable, but she's also a little frustrating, which I think is a sign of a great character who the reader has strong feelings about.

Albus is just so adorable. Sure, he's a bit of a drunk mess at the beginning, but their story actually is kind of cute in a very, very awkward way. One thing I really look forward to in this story is seeing more interactions between them so this was a great introduction to that.

Gah, she is so intense! It made me laugh how threatening she was with him, almost to the extent of desperation. It's sad how Seraphina cares about how people perceive her even if she sort of pretends otherwise: being Head Girl, her character can't be compromised, but she also secretly just really wants true friendship. Her and Al almost have an understanding of what the other is thinking, though, or at least he does towards her like when they're in bed and she puts a finger to her lips to tell him not to speak of it. That was a cute moment hinting at a potential growing bond between them.

Wonderful first chapter, Grace, and it's looking so spiffy with the edits! :) I'm so proud to be your beta, and thanks for the lovely shout-out!

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: OMG HEY JENNA! I'm quite fond of your nit-picky betaing actually but still, thank you so much for deciding to drop by with reviews!

I'm really happy to hear that you feel like you already know Seraphina, a lot of people seem to feel the same way and it never ceases to surprise me when I hear it yet again.

You can't really blame Albus for being a drunk mess, I think everyone's a mess when they're drunk. I'm so glad that you find Albus adorable because that's what I wanted him to be. I've seen him characterized a lot of different ways but I don't come across sweet Albus very often (and I couldn't picture him any other way for this story either).

I certainly hope that there's going to be a growing bond between them considering the fact that they're going to become parents to a little human.

I always get really proud when I see the chapter with the edits to it and it's all thanks to you for being an awesome beta!


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Review #32, by LululunaTrue Romance: A View to a Kill

6th July 2014:
Hi Rose! :)

Ahahha, I love how sneaky you were with not getting to the Brandon news until the end of the chapter and leading us on with all these fears that he could be dead. Silly me, I nearly fell for it too (well, nearly. I suspected you liked him too much to take him out just yet :P).

I'm still not quite sure how I feel about Corbin - I actually think this chapter showed his personality a little more and why he's acting so possessive: he's been hurt in the past and thinks that holding back will lead to him losing Scorpius, so that makes sense. Nobody is perfect, after all, and his past experiences can shape his current behaviour, so I'm still giving him a chance.

I'm glad Rose is back at her parents' and acting like an adult! It was fun seeing your business skills come through in the chapter and Rose's business plan seemed to fit quite well. I'm also so excited to hear more about her job and where she will take people as that just sounds so awesome and mixing travel with magic is great.

I honestly did not see Brandon's news coming at all - how awkward that poor Al had to hear from Harry, haha. Though I love how the story ties together with the mother of the kid dying and getting Brandon involved, and Bran being bisexual just makes the situation all the more complicated. I think Al was being pretty selfish and rude about the whole thing: I mean, of course it's a shock, but this happened before him and Brandon were together and Brandon is allowed to love whoever he likes: indeed, that's something Albus originally appreciated about him. It was sort of funny how that's what Al chose to rage against though, and it was fun seeing him quoting Brandon from Pure Intentions!

Absolutely loving all these speedy, exciting updates! I'm so excited to see how Brandon is taking the news that he's a dad and what will happen next with all these twisted relationships.

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: Would you have kept reading if I started the chapter with an update on Brandon? :P Okay... I was just being mean and wanted to drag out the anxiety about what happened to him. *nearly* fell for it isn't too bad. I mean, at least I didnt' cause mass-hysteria. I do like him too much for my own good though

Whoo!! I'm really glad Corbin's personality shon through a bit more here. I'm glad that you're willing to give him a chance at least. :) (some people just want him to die)

Rose finally came around and started to act a bit more like an adult. I always worry that I'll go too "oooh, business" with my characters. Let me know if I do that. :P

I'm glad the news was unexpected. When I thought of doing this, it seemed like soemthing no one would expect. Harry's involvement was mostly helpful while Brandon was discovering that he had a child. And, yeah, it was awkward for Albus to hear this from his father. Albus' reaction is quite frustrating but he does get better about it, I promise!!

I am still hoping to finish this for JulNo! So, hopefully you won't have to wait long for more.

Thanks so much for stopping by for the HC and for the lovely review!!

-Rose


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Review #33, by LululunaChaos, Love, and War: Chapter One: An Emergency Decision

6th July 2014:
Hello! :)

So, I gather that this story was either written before DH or disregards it, and that's so interesting! In the first chapter, I really liked how Snape was actually shown to be supporting Voldemort and his actions, and it shows that dark side to his character with prevails until his Worst Memory in DH shows a different side to him. But also, he does have a more caring side in how he helped Draco and felt some guilt towards betraying Dumbledore, so you did a good job of showing those elements of his character.

I also really liked the spooky setting of the castle and how Voldy made it very eerie and gothic. I could really see the scene in my mind and it was chilling! It also contrasted well with this chapter and the scene with the students so that was quite interesting as well.

I love how Ron complimented Neville here! Ron's always bumbling over his words but I liked how his outburst here showed his loyalty and respect for Neville. I also really liked how you wrote Hermione: her sophisticated and sometimes slightly complicated language fit really well with her character and the knowledge she bears. I especially liked the references to Muggles, that felt very Hermione-esque.

Rebuilding the DA is an awesome idea and I'm so curious to see how this would change the layout of DH and stop Voldemort. While Harry's individual tasks are daunting it's also true that he needs a lot of help from his friends and his community, so building an army to oppose Voldemort and fight back on the aggressive front is very intruiging.

Great job with this, hopefully I'll be back to read more soon! :D

House Cup 2014 - Educational Decree 1

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Review #34, by LululunaExactly As He Is: Homage to Dumbledore's Army

6th July 2014:
Hello! :)

Aw, this was a really lovely chapter and way of showing how steps for recovery would take place. I like the way Dumbledore's Army continues into the healing process, and all the honorary members - it was just a really clever way to honour them. I got especially emotional for two groups of people: first, the house elves, since they're so marginalized and thanking them both for Dobby's sake and their own sacrifices was really lovely. Also, with Teddy: Harry above all understands how much Teddy has lost by having his parents killed in the war, and that moment really brought to life the pain and injustice of having both Teddy's parents taken from him. The whole first scene was a really strong way of having people come together through the healing process.

I think that Harry have guilt, PTSD and even self-blame and hatred is very realistic considering what he's been through, and you wrote that very well. I felt so sorry for him, but the way he felt he deserved to die would definitely be a realistic reaction after nearly completely dying himself and seeing so many of his friends and comrades fall around him.

Great chapter, I enjoyed reading this, especially the emotional bits at the beginning! :)

House Cup 2014 - Educational Decree 1

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Review #35, by LululunaThe Dragon Club: The First Meeting

6th July 2014:
Hello! :)

This is really interesting so far! I like Rose and the cast of characters who are set up, and especially enjoyed in the last chapter with how both James and Albus hid their father's artifacts from one another by putting them in the girls' dorms. That was a really nice detail that stood out. Goyle and Malfoy are interesting as well, and I'm curious to learn more about why exactly Rose and Scorpius hate each other so much, other than their family names. Goyle is so creepy as well though he seems a little more articulate than his father was. I think that you did a good job of showing why Goyle and Malfoy would think of inviting Rose: she was there at the right time for the idea to occur, and the bet made sense for why they would want her there.

The Dragon Club actually sounds like a lot of fun, and I liked how welcoming they were and how open your characters are about inter-house friendships. The tattoo idea is especially interesting. I originally wondered if there was some more sinister background to the club, and perhaps it has a bit of a sketchy history at times, but so far it just seems like a really great thing for Rose.

If I could offer one piece of advice, it's that the story is flowing very quickly right now. You've introduced a lot of interesting moments and anecdotes, like Viola, and even the Fat Lady's cameo, and expanding on those and slowing down the pace of the story could make it even more impactful. Just a thought in case you ever feel like coming back to edit and need something to go off of! :)

Great job!

House Cup 2014 - Educational Decree 1

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Review #36, by LululunaTo Prevent An Unfortunate Series of Events : This is your mission, if you should choose to accept it.

5th July 2014:
Hello! :) I'm here from review swap on the forums!

This is really interesting! I've never read a Hermione-Marauders time travel story before but I quite like how you've set it up. Time travel can be quite tricky, and I'm curious to see if there will be more discussion of that in future chapters: whether Hermione keeping James and Lily alive will affect Harry's future life and friendships and whether the world Hermione someday returns to will be the same as it was when she left - if her and future Harry will even be friends. The consequences of time travel itself are just so interesting, and I can't help but worry if perhaps Dumbledore's risk might end up doing more harm than good.

You did a really good job of writing Hermione's fear and doubt, even showing how she's sensitive about even lying about her parents' death. That felt very relatable, and she seemed to be kept in character with how sensitive and thoughtful she was while also delicately and intelligently handling each situation, such as the first conversation with the Marauders.

I really liked how LIly and James have a bit of a playful bond rather than her hating him like in some stories, especially if they're going to get together within the year. The other Marauders were great as well, and I like how Lupin was quite kind and Sirius a bit playfully arrogant, it fit their characters well. Sirius' comment about her bed being in his arms made me laugh.

I feel like this storyline is more interesting than the storyline of a female OC coming to Hogwarts in the Marauders' seventh year which is also quite popular because it adds that new level of purpose and plot for Hermione and more complications to her relationships with the people there since she knows about their future lives and deaths. Good job, I really enjoyed reading this and will try and come back soon! :)

Author's Response: Hi there!

Oh wow, thank you! I love the whole Hermione-Marauders time travel storyline, so I'm glad that I seem to be introducing others to it as well. :) Yeah, time travel can be tricky. Even the tiniest, most insignificant thing can result in major changes in the future. One thing I can say is, Hermione will definitely not be returning to the future she knew of.

I'm really happy you feel that way! I really wanted to keep Hermione true to character. She is probably my favorite female character, so I wanted to do her justice. I"m so glad to hear you felt I did her well.

I've read too many stories where Lily absolutely loathes James, and then BAM! she falls for him. I think it would be more realistic to have it be a more playful, bickering sort of relationship, at this point. I love Lupin and I love writing Lupin. He's such a sweet, gentle and old soul. He's just wonderful. Sirius is my number one fictional crush. Mine and probably loads of other women's as well. ;) He's too much fun to write. Haha I'm glad you liked that line! After 19 1/2 chapters written, it's still one of my favorites.

Having Hermione go back into the past, I feel, adds a certain suspense that wouldn't be there with any other female character. You keep waiting for her to slip up, be found out, or come clean about who she is. It's my favorite storyline to read. Which would be the reason I chose that storyline for my first novel. You're absolutely right, it does make things more complicated with her knowing the destinies of the people she befriends.

I'm really happy you liked it so far! And if you find your way back, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as well!

Sorry it took me so long respond! And also sorry it's taking me so long for my review. Holiday weekend. It's been crazy. I'm heading over to your page now to read and review! Thanks for doing the swap!!

xoxo Meg


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Review #37, by LululunaLife As We Know It: chapter one

4th July 2014:
Hello! :)

This is quite interesting so far! I dabble a bit into reading Dramiones, tending to judge them on the quality of the story and not the ship, but I think that so far this seems to fit quite well into canon. I like how the scene is very similar to what happens in HBP, with Hermione's POV and Ron and Lavender, but just shows what could have happened if Hermione happened to go to the Room of requirement rather than an abandoned classroom.

Hermione's feelings of insecurity and loneliness at the beginning were really well written and relatable. The feeling of rejection that she had and her heartbreak over Ron felt realistic, and I could see how this hurt and anger could lead to her and Ron being in that fight for several months. It explains why their relationship was so catastrophic without just brushing it side to make room for Draco to swoop in, so I think you're definitely doing something right with showing why Hermione likes Ron, but also why they're perhaps not right for one another. But I have to say, there was a part of me that wanted Ron and Hermione to run off into the sunset together here, leaving Lavender and Draco behind! :P

Hermione's comments about not finding companionship and comfort in books and her insecurities about being teased felt very realistic as well and I'm glad you wrote it that way. She seems quite in character so far. I thought that Draco did as well: at this point in Hermione's life at least she only sees him as malicious and looking to embarrass her, so I'm glad that he's not rushing in to save her from her emotions, but is up to his old, rude tricks no matter what's going on with him.

I haven't read the pre-edited version of this chapter, but so far the writing feels quite mature and concentrating on Hermione's emotions in a strong and realistic way. If I could offer any constructive comments, it does feel like there is some repetition, especially when Hermione keeps thinking about how she wants to just be alone, so that section could perhaps be tightened up a bit to maximize the impact and the brief hopelessness of the moment. But overall, a very good start that I really enjoyed! :)

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Review #38, by LululunaLittle Angel: Losing Albus

4th July 2014:
Hello! :) Dropping by from review tag!

I remember seeing this plot in the up for grabs section and thinking it was so interesting, so I'm really glad you picked it up! You've definitely done a good job of showing what a jerk Albus is while justifying what has caused him to change from that sweet, shy boy we saw in the Epilogue. I felt so bad for his parents, especially Harry since I imagined his family would be very precious to him after not having parents for his entire life. This made me quite dislike Albus so I'm curious to see if there are darker reasons for his bad attitude and how he might develop more in future chapters.

Hmm, I wonder if the disappearing Floo powder might have something to do with the little girl. The term "angel" made me wonder if perhaps she was a ghost or some sort or a guardian angel rather than an actual person or child, or if perhaps she's somewhere in the middle. Ooh, was she Albus' daughter who died and then came back to make him a better person, Christmas Carol style?! That would be so cool, but maybe a little spooky. :P Either way, I'm really curious to see how she will be introduced.

Also, I thought you did a really solid job of explaining why the Floo powder not being there was such a big deal and why Ginny hated Apparating. That made sense, and I like it when details like that are explained and justified in the story.

A very interesting start, I'll keep an eye out for the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hey!

Yeah, it does sound interesting doesn't it? I'm planning to change it up a bit though and make it my own. Credit goes to ScarletEye158. Albus is portrayed as a different character in this book, from a shy innocent little boy to an idiot.

No Spoilers! But I like spooky stories ... they're scary ...

thank you for reviewing!

Emma


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Review #39, by LululunaTrue Romance: Live and Let Die

2nd July 2014:
Hi Rose! :)

Aha! I called it. I don't think Brandon is dead, per say, because not only would that make me sad but I feel like his and Albus' story isn't over. I do think that whatever has happened to him is very serious, however, and will make Al re-evaluate his relationships. I thought his running off to Scorpius in order to make himself feel better about being "stood up" sort of showed that he isn't quite mature enough to be in a solid, adult relationship, but time will tell. But I do really hope Brandon is ultimately okay! ♥ I feel like there's still a lot more to know about him and that Albus can learn from him. *crosses fingers*

Rose was so funny with the hiding in Lily's closet and all of that. :P Even though I feel bad that her family is concerned, the fact that she's actually staking out at Harry's is pretty ironic. I was actually (weirdly) thinking the other day that my parents' house is big enough with enough hiding places that there could be someone hiding out there and just using the toilet and sneaking food when nobody was home so it's quite funny that you showed how that might work here, though I suppose Rose has magic to help and the imaginary stowaway at my parents' doesn't. :P

Ahem, tangent. The banter between the girls was a lot of fun and I love how close and mischievous they are especially when talking about boys. Showing how Scorpius being gay is a bit of a shock for Rose through her recoiling from Lily's joke was a great detail as well. But such a good point - I'm used to the name Scorpius because of fan fics but I feel like if I knew someone with that name I'd just laugh every time I said it.

The way you wrote the romantic, sneaky love weekend between the guys was great as well and really captured the sense of how private and intimate their affection for one another is. This time it seems like Albus is the one pulling the strings and making the decisions, not Scorpius, which is interesting as opposed to in PI where it seemed like the power to decide - and the pressure - rested on Scorpius. I'm quite excited to see what will happen next though I imagine in the wake of this bad news Scorpius might take a back seat in Al's priorities.

Can't wait for the next chapter, Rose - great job! :D

Author's Response: You were the only person (who doesn't have a list of spoilers from me) who called it. Yes, I did soemthing to Brandon. I can't verify what it is at this point as i don't think you'd want spoilers for the next few chapters. Al is definitely showing his need for more growth in this chapter. he ran off like a wounded puppy.

I'm glad you like Rose's little hide out. Her family is quite concerned though they did hear from Hannah that she was at the Leaky Cauldron and Ginny suspects she's at their place now. So, they're not completely frazzled. The idea of an unknown person hiding out in a house is a bit creepy. I've seen stories of that in the news and it makes me shudder to think about.

kajflakfjio

Writing Rose and Lily and friends was quite a bit of fun. I mean, they were both Gryffindors and likely spent a good deal of time together at school. Rose is still in a bit of shock over scorpius being gay (because she had assumed he was bi). there are a lot of HP names that would be utterly bizzare in RL. I had to poke fun.

There was something furtive about their weekend together. Neither wants to fess up about it to anyone else either. Though, now i just have the song secret lovers stuck in my head. :P You're right about the power dynamic changing quite a bit between them.

The next chapter should be full of surpries for you! I'm trying to finish this for JulNo so there will be a lot of updates happening.

Thanks for a wonderful review!!

-Rose


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Review #40, by LululunaTrue Romance: In the Waiting Line

2nd July 2014:
Hi Rose! :D

Ooh, I loved the scene between Rose and Scorpius! It's good that Rose finally knows the truth about his sexuality even if it hurt her, and I don't blame her: knowing that her ex-boyfriend was never attracted to her would be quite hard to process even if Scorpius was also a victim of the situation. I thought it was so sweet though when she hugged him and was so sorry that he couldn't have been who he was, it was a really lovely moment and shows what a good person she is.

I also agree with Scorpius: her family isn't worth sacrificing if she can prevent it, and they clearly love her a lot. I think she will come around, though. One detail I really liked was when Brandon noticed all the pictures of Rose in Harry's office, that was a great way of "showing not telling" how close Harry is to Ron and Hermone's family. Love that.

I'm pretty sure something bad is going to happen to Brandon especially after the cryptic foreshadowing. I hope he's okay! Also it might lead into Albus figuring out if he can live without Brandon or not since he doesn't have a Dementor to test it out on. And hmm, maybe or maybe not something brewing between Brandon and Rose? I'm thinking not, but interesting that Harry might insinuate it.

The scene with the grandparents was just adorable! ♥ I loved how much they cared about one another and all of Arthur's reminiscing.

Great chapter, Rose! :)

Author's Response: Hello!

I felt bad making Rose learn the truth there. :-/ i mean, it helps her out later on to know but she was quite happily ignorant before. I like to think he was as attracted to her as he could be. Rose is unusually mature here (though I hope not so much so that it's not believable). She sees his pain in this before her own though.

Scorpius would know a lot of about giving up family. More than anyone else in the story, he's uniquely qualified to talk about what it means.

I'm glad you like how I showed Harry's closeness with Ron/Hermione through the pictures. :D It just felt slimey for Harry to come out and say it verus let Brandon observe it.

You have good intuition about Brandon. That's all I can say right now. :P

I loved writing Al with his grandparents. They give me the fuzzies whenI think about them.

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!!

-Rose


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Review #41, by LululunaEmpty: III

30th June 2014:
Hi again!! :D

There's a character called Jenna??! She is now my favourite.

Ahh, so Rose was about to say what was really bothering her!! I'm so curious now!

Hahaha, the awkward moment with Slughorn made me laugh so much, but also cringe. Why Rose, why?!

Personally I like her better with James right now, since Scorpius isn't doing very much to endear himself to Rose for the time being. He really likes her, but he doesn't really treat her like he likes her and just keeps irritating her, so I don't blame her for being with the boy who actually is nice to her even if he was annoying her a bit as well at breakfast. Maybe Rose is just really easily annoyed. :P

Another fun chapter, Liz! I really enjoyed reading this and will keep an eye out for updates! :D

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Review #42, by LululunaEmpty: II

30th June 2014:
Hi again Liz! :) (I weirdly first called you "Rose," and then realized before posting the review. Woops!)

Well that escalated quickly! :P Rose sure does like the boys, doesn't she? James seems cute, and I liked how she thought him drawing the picture was cool rather than cheesy. It did sound quite cool actually. I wonder if Rose getting together with James so quickly when she doesn't seem to be extremely into him has something to do with her heartbreak over her ex.

It's also so funny that his name is James as well! I don't blame her for being creeped out though, when I meet boys with my dad's name I have this weird habit of telling them we can never date because of that. And he has a pretty common name so it cuts off a big part of the population. Anyway, tangent. :P But I like how relatable your characters are in their silliness. Rose's friends gossiping about who gets to be maid of honour were funny as well.

Poor Scorpius, though I found it a little rude with the name he called Rose. I think he's just nervous though and doesn't know how to interact with her in a polite way.

Another good chapter, Liz, and I loved getting to see into Rose's head! :)

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Review #43, by LululunaEmpty: I

30th June 2014:
Hi Liz, I'm here for the Slytherin review exchange! :D

Haha, I'm quite enjoying this story so far! I think my favourite is how awkward but endearing Scorpius is, and how he's quite insecure and gets lost in his thoughts very easily. There were just so many funny, awkward moments which made me both laugh and cringe for him, like that poor girl asking him out, and Albus getting annoyed at him drifting off into thoughts. He seems to have his head in the clouds a bit, and that always makes for a fun character.

Rose really interests me as well. She's clearly very bold and outgoing, but I really want to know more about this change Scorpius has noticed in her. And this guy she was kissing... hmm, perhaps it's the evil ex-boyfriend Scorpius hates? That would be sad for Rose, but definitely add some drama.

The whole banter in the bathroom scene made me laugh. Judging by the summary, I wonder if there will be any more bathroom encounters? It also made me laugh how Scorpius just didn't leave, haha.

Great first chapter, Liz! :) On to the next one I go!

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Review #44, by LululunaHC Event 3 - A as in Sexuality: Chapter One

26th June 2014:
Hi Liz! :) Wow, I'm so impressed with you for writing such a poignant story that did an excellent job of both bringing attention to but normalizing a sexual identity that isn't discussed very often, in real life culture and especially in fanfiction. Though this story was so short, you did such an amazing job of exploring how Dorcas as an asexual character is just like anybody else who experiences stress over her friends accepting her identity.

One of my favourite parts was when the story mentioned how she had forced herself to date for the sake of what people thought of her despite knowing she was asexual. That was so interesting and a really relatable way of portraying her sexuality and showing what it would be like to not feel accepted. The other really powerful line that I loved was about her father saying that she just hadn't met the right guy, and it made my heart ache for her a little bit because I just wanted everybody to understand and accept her without question. But I'm sure those are very relatable things asexual people have to listen to and overcome in social interactions.

Great job with this Liz - in a few very short but lovely words and poignant scenes you did an amazing job of portraying a really interesting and relatable character. See you again soon - I still owe you a review for the review exchange, of course! Well done! ♥

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Review #45, by LululunaTrue Romance: Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

24th June 2014:
Hi again Rose! :)

This is actually uncanny - I was going to do a review tag before going to bed but still had this chapter of TR up, and you were the last one in review tag! I was just meant to review this story tonight. :P

Ooh, things were pretty steamy between Scorpius and Corbin. I'm not sure how I feel about him, however, with how he seems quite manipulative and controlling and possessive which should be instant red flag for Scorpius. But it reminded me a bit with how people with certain family situations tend to find themselves in similar situations over and over again - patterns of accepting some form of abuse, and I hope that Corbin isn't just another version of Scorpius' controlling family. I liked how you showed that Corbin is a manipulative person so sneakily with his putting an aphrodisiac in the bookstores - that was a brilliant way of showing how he's a bit sketchy.

Aw, Albus and Brandon were so cheeky and cute together! I like how careful Brandon is, and he thinks of every detail, from where they'll go to dinner to bringing the files to look like he was in the archives for a reason. I'm excited for their date and what might happen.

Hmm, I'm thinking that Rose is either going to Scorpius' or Brandon's place, probably the former since she made the connection between their families. I do think Rose was being a bit immature and dramatic though I understand her frustration at not having her career idea be appreciated by her mother - but they still could have talked it out more and acted like "adults" like Hermione said. But that wouldn't really fit with Rose's personality to be fair.

Another amazing chapter, Rose, I can't wait for the next one! :D

Author's Response: It's okay to stalk me though the review tag. :P I was just thrilled to get so many reviews from you.

I really liked writing that steamy bit between them (though, if I keep it up I'll become a steamy novelist rather than a good story-teller :P). Scorpius really should see the possessiveness as a red flag but his combinaton of inexperience and a desire for attention/approval is kind of blinding him. And, well, he got some good sexy time out of it. ;) Your insights on Scorpius' draw to Corbin (and his behavior) are spot on - as usual. I did want to show that Corbin isn't entirely on the up and up. Though, he and Scorpius do still have quite a bit of potential, if Scorpius can establish boundaries in his relationship.

The Albus and Brandon scene was my favorite so far in the story. I dunno, they're still quite into each other and didn't have a broken relationship (like Al and Scorpius) so I feel better about them having an easier time bridging their relationship again. Their date will be epic.

She is being qutie immature but she runs on emotions (kind of like Ron). She'll learn the weight of her rash behavior.

Thank you so much for a fantab review!! I always love reading your thoughts on a story!

-Rose


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Review #46, by LululunaNot Normal: {Chapter the Sixth}

24th June 2014:
Hello! :)

Ahh, this was such a good chapter and so eventful! More than that, though, I think it was written very smoothly and flowed so well without getting trapped in one particular spot. Well done! :)

It's so exciting to see Ellie's ghost-hunting in action, and I'm excited to learn more about Alexia and her ghost boyfriend and how Ellie operates when helping people. It's interesting to see how her talent actually impacts her daily life but also shows her to be a very caring person. I also loved the banter with Ben and how sassy he was, it definitely stood out in the chapter.

You described the secret room and all of that so vividly, I definitely felt like I was there peeking over Ellie's shoulder, getting hot and frustrated with the shelves, and running away from the foreboding feeling of the statues. I wonder if someone was following her, or if perhaps there was a malevolent ghost there in the room with her? The playful actions of the Hogwarts crest on the walls were so cute as well - loved the boop.

Throughout the chapter, Ellie's inner commentary was so refreshing and fun to listen to. I liked so many bits, but a few favourites were when she punched the wall so suddenly, when she found books of all things in the first chamber of the secret room, and when she was embarrased about pretending to do a number two in public. You do a great job of blending in the fun and humour with the more serious parts of the characters, and I really admire that.

Amazing chapter, my dear! :D

Author's Response: I was so happy to write stuff happening plot wise, that I think I went a little crazy with it! I'm very happy to hear that you found it smoothly written, because that was something with which I struggled.

I can't wait to write about Alexia and her ghost boyfriend, because you're right - it's a great way to see Ellie interact with people. She seems to think she's not very good at it, and that should make for a fun few scenes! And yeah, she is caring, although I don't think she quite realises it. And Ben is the best, all the time.

Ah, the mysterious crash and bang! Mysteries abound *giggles maniacally* And I'm glad you liked the boop! Snakes are too serious sometimes - they deserve a little fun every now and again :P

I'm really happy Ellie is still entertaining. She reads as a little... farcical sometimes to me, and I don't want that for her, so I'm very happy indeed with this feedback!

Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a wonderful review as always :D


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Review #47, by LululunaTrue Romance: Such Great Heights

24th June 2014:
Hi again Rose! :)

I was on your page so decided to drop by for more TR! :D

It was great to see Rose (fanfiction Rose :P Does that ever get confusing?) again and check in with what she's up to. I like how she's on good terms with Scorpius like Al is, and how she can give him advice even though it concerns her own ex-boyfriend. She's just as lively and cheerful as ever, and I liked how Hermione is pressuring her to set up with a good job while Rose wants more freedom of her own, it feels very in character for Hermione who only wants the best for her daughter but doesn't know how to let go and let her find her own way.

Uh oh, I'm not sure how I feel about Albus and Scorpius jumping back into kissing already. What about Brandon and Corbin?!! But it was a sweet moment, and I liked seeing both sides of the boys as they worried about what the other was thinking. :P

I love the sounds of Rose's dream job, that actually sounds really interesting! It was nice to see her having some interaction with Brandon, although that last line was a little cryptic. Hmm, I hope you aren't planning anything nasty to happen to him... :(

Great chapter, Rose - and thanks for reminding me of the song Such Great Heights, I used to listen to it all the time a few years ago! :P See you again soon!

Author's Response: I'M SO EXCITED YOU STOPPED BY FOR MORE!

haha, it gets confusing so often - especially as I'm used to people yelling at me via review. :P I don't know if she's on good terms with Scorpius as much as she's okay with their breakup. :-x Ignorance is bliss and she really doesn't know a lot about the movtives behind their relationship. But, it is pretty grown up of her to be okay with her cousin and her ex.

Albus' priorities are a bit skewed right now (this might be a key plot point too). Al and Brandon don't have anything official going on but, yeah, Corbin would be quite upset by the kissing. Okay, Brandon would be too but not from a cheating perspective.

I like to think Rose got the travelling bug while she was in Spain in PI. Um, me? Do something nasty to a character? *cough*

:D I still have Such Great heights on my writing playlist, it still gives me feels for writing.

Thank you os much for a wonderful review!!

-Rose


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Review #48, by LululunaUntil the End: Together

24th June 2014:
Hi Rose! Ah, I was so torn between this and the next chapter of TR but as this is shiny and new I just couldn't resist. And I'm so glad I read this - all the lovely feels! :(

The spirit you wrote with Fabian and Gideon was so perfect and brotherly. I loved how the title was tied in throughout the anecdotes in the story, and how it helped unite the brothers as a catch phrase they used as well as add the poignant and meaningful use of the last line. Their mischief came through so well here, though I also liked how there were some differences like Fabian being a prefect and perhaps Gideon being a bit more reckless.

McGonagall's sass was hilarious - I loved how she said "aeronautic dueling club." and was so hard on the Gryffindors.

One theme which I really liked through the story was the brothers' relationship with Molly and how they teased her and had fun with her, but ultimately protecting her is their first priority, whether from rude comments or from Death Eaters. The strength of their love for their sister was amazing to read and their unity in protecting her was one of my favourite aspects of the story.

And how they got to play with Fred and George and teach them about being mischievous! I never imagined that happening, but I love that it did before the uncles died.

There was some really great unity throughout the anecdotes, especially how most of them began with Fabian and Gideon hiding or being apart from other people and talking to just each other. It showed their bond and rapport very well and made the story flow smoothly.

Great job, Rose - I knew how this was going to end, and so was heartbroken throughout as I knew what the end was going to be, but I absolutely loved it and how you wrote the characters! :)

Author's Response: I'm really glad you picked this! Just because it's new and shiny and needed love.

This story kind of just hit me and I had to write it - I did struggle with writing Fabian and Gideon in a way that didn't just seem like Pre-Fred&George twins because that was tempting. I wish I had more words because I would have spaced out their catch phrase a little more. I'm so glad you liked their characterizations - I had to make them not quite the same so that they'd stand on their own (and again, not just be like Fred and George).

:D I worried about that line and whether it sounded too muggle. Though, I could see her coming out with quick wit like that.

*squee* I wanted to have Molly at least relevant to all their little scenes, even if only in name. In the books she seemed to have been close to them and I wanted to show that in some way without bogging down the story with their narrative. I do want to make the ending a bit stronger and clear that they were making a choice to go out fighting rather than let Molly be in danger. I'm not sure that was clear.

I've been making a spreadsheet of people's ages and when they died. Fred and George were almost 3 when they died (so maybe I fudged a little in their maturity here). Fabian and Gideon definitely had a long time to influence Bill, Charlie, and Percy though (Bill was 11 when they died).

!! I'm glad you noticed and liked the hiding/talking theme. I mean, I was worried that it'd be too repetitive or uncreative.

I can't tell you how excited I am about this review! Thank you so much for taking a break from TR to read this!

-Rose


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Review #49, by LululunaAcanthus: Of Final Thoughts

24th June 2014:
Hello again!

Ahh, Charlotte marrying George makes everything fit together nicely. It fits well with Frederic's madness that he would attack all the visitors to Acanthus and be responsible for the "curse" on those who search for the city, and that was such a clever way to tie in the curse.

And so Charlotte must have been pregnant when she left the group. It's almost too bad Rose couldn't intervene and say they should help her, and I do feel bad for Charlotte since it seems like she turns into an even weaker person who couldn't bear to raise her son. Also though I understand where she was coming from with wanting to be remembered and it was in a more difficult time for women, I do think that they are right to be angry with her. It's a very tricky situation and I think you showed Rose's indecision well. Charlotte being George's wife tied in very nicely as well with how they were able to escape George's hired men.

Poor Anthony! :( He's so brave, I feel really sad for him and impressed at how noble he is. Somehow I feel like the plan isn't going to quite work out and George either won't be fooled or will see that Scorpius is still alive, hmm.

This was another great chapter, Kiana, and it's exciting to see all the pieces begin to fit together! :D

Author's Response: Hi!

Hahah, I love seeing you piece it all together because it's so much fun revealing everything after knowing it for so long now and I finally get to share it :D As for Charlotte we do manage to catch up with her later on, just not in a way you quite expect it really, so she still does crop up. I think she just regrets a lot of things, especially in regards to her child and her husband so giving both away seems to cure everything in her world but how much that works is another thing.

Haha, you're definitely right about the plan not quite working! I really wanted to get the next chapter up soon but the HC has slowed things down a lot so we'll have to see but hopefully soon :D

Thanks for such a great review :D

-Kiana


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Review #50, by LululunaAcanthus: The Web Thickens

24th June 2014:
Hi Kiana! :) Whoo I'm finally catching up on all my reading and reviewing!

Haha, somehow in the first sentence of this chapter you made me really want a shawarma, and then not be hungry at all thanks to the mention of sweat. :P Something I've noticed through this story is the tangibility of the descriptions, especially the ones describing Cairo's streets and culture and people. It's a really strong kind of description, not relying on waffling and metaphors and pretty language, but that honestly paints a picture and offers physical senses to the reader, and that's something really impressive.

Ahh I'm so confused and curious about Frederic Russell, what on earth is going on?!! You're really good at building suspense with all this POV-switching. :P

Aw, poor Rose, having to see her friends hurt like this. :( I thought it was so sweet and noble of her how she kept her head, and even tried bargaining in saying that she would be fine staying in the past as long as he was alright. And George was just awful here, you did a good job in making me hate him, haha.

Scorpius is so noble as well - both him and Rose are, really. I liked how he still wouldn't leave Edward behind, though he was very logical in trying to think through why Edward wouldn't be there. And oh no - somehow I still have hope they'll find a way home, somehow, though perhaps staying in the past wouldn't be such a bad thing anyway.

Hmm, I have no clue about Charlotte. I feel like she was either under the Imperius Curse or she feels guilty, and the fact that Rashidi's father was tortured by both a man and a woman is a big clue. What I'm confused about with Frederic Russell is why he would want to send them into the past to kill his ancestor because he's mad at them for killing his ancestor - something doesn't add up, so I really have no idea for anything about him!

Great, exciting chapter, Kiana! :)

Author's Response: Hi Jenna, ha I need to do that too *looks away guiltily*!

Aw, I'm sorry, you'll just have to make do with the people in the story eating them for now. I'm so glad that you liked the physical descriptions because I think I just have such vivid dreams of going there as it sounds so cool, that might be why because when you obsess over something for a while, it's bound to crop in a random place.

Haha, yes, you definitely find out more in the next chapter as his story is wrapped in the others a lot more than you probably expected.

Yay for hating and liking the right people, as I'm usual the weird reader who often finds sympathies in the people we're meant to throw flames at .

I'm glad you picked up on that trait, as this Scorpius is very disconnected with his family in this story which is why I think he can be noble as he doesn't have to worry about the Malfoy expectations that way. Also, everyone seem to fall for that trap with the vials, I want so what it is but don't worry too much ;)

Yes, Charlotte, George and Frederic all have different reasons and motivations for things which is why I hope it works out more in the next chapter as that's much less action based, but I hope you like how it works out!

Thanks for this great review, Jenna! :D

-Kiana


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