Reading Reviews From Member: Lululuna
735 Reviews Found

Review #26, by LululunaAlright, Alright: Alright, Alright

27th August 2014:
Hi there! :) I'm (finally) here to review your entry for the Beatles challenge - thanks so much for giving me this awesome story to read!

One thing that stood out to me was how you managed to tell a really complete story without too many words or dwelling on every detail. There were many clues and details which were very subtle but said so much about the characters' situation while still letting the reader imagine it for themselves, such as not explaining who exactly Emmeline is or how she and Rabastan became close, or not going into full detail about the end and how he hurt her. I like how instead of describing that scene where he assaulted her in detail, you explained it with a simple sentence which showed the horror of the moment in a subtle way.

I thought it was quite believable how Emmeline could be influenced by Rabastan into believing that he was trying to make a better world, even if their visions of that world were actually so different. It wasn't only that she was in love with him, but also that he portrayed the revolution in such a way to appeal to her values and beliefs. I imagine a lot of people would have initially been won over to the Death Eaters by this sort of manipulation into thinking the revolution was a good thing, and you did a good job of showing Emmeline's journey and awakening from being brainwashed by him.

I really liked the style of the story, including the addressing the reader through lines like "you see" in the first line. It gave the whole story a lyrical quality and echoed the original Beatles song in a really lovely and unique way. I liked the echoing of "Alright, alright" as well, it fit so well with the tone of the story and the song.

The listing of thoughts and ideas in sentences was stylistically unusual and fit so nicely with the whole story. I felt like I knew Emmeline and she was speaking to me directly, trying to both defend herself and to atone for the fact that she used to believe in the dream.

I really loved this section especially, when Emmeline confronts Rabastan:

I told him not to worry, about the world, about himself, about me. Because now, I could see. I could see how he wanted the world to be, and I could see how I wanted something so much more different. And, that it was going to be alright.

It was really beautiful to read: the language is simple, but the rhyming sentences with "see," "me" and "be" fit really nicely.

I really loved this story, thanks so much for writing and giving me such a wonderful entry! :)

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm so so so grateful that you loved this story! I loved writing it, and was so nervous posting it that no one else would share my love of it. And to hear that you enjoyed it? I'm so grateful. I'm also relieved that you found Emmeline's brainwashing believable. I was scared that it was a little too much. But knowing that you believe it, relieves me.

Thanks for the wonderful compliments on the plot, the language, and the style. It was a new tone for me, and knowing that I did well puts a smile on my face. Thanks so so much, for all the kind words!


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Review #27, by LululunaTrue Romance: The Long Day of Vengeance

19th August 2014:
Hi Rose!!

Oh no, Scorpius!! :( It makes me so sad to see him leaning back into that cycle of abuse and violence, but it's a common narrative for people to accept abuse and forgive it until it happens again and again. I hope he can understand that his relationship with Corbin clearly isn't healthy, but considering how Scorpius was sort of emotionally stunted for his whole life and didn't really believe in himself or think himself worthy of love it fits with his insecurities that he would want to take Corbin back and forgive the abuse.

While I was sort of cheering for Lily to let out her feelings with Archie as well as the boys, I do feel a bit uneasy about the whole thing especially in the wake of Scorpius being hit by Corbin. Violence is never the answer really and Lily hitting Archie when he can't even run away, no matter how he hurt her, is a bit inappropriate as well. I wonder if the boys are going to face any trouble for abducting Archie? No matter what the guy did that would be pretty terrifying (I'm sorry for empathizing with the bad guy here :P).

Oh no, poor Brandon! From the way she treated him I suspected that she might be homophobic or at least convinced that heterosexual norms are the only way to properly raise a baby, nevermind, oh, love and care and support and all that. It reminds me of a fight I had with a friend a few months ago where he was saying that he doesn't think that gay couples should be allowed to adopt because "if you were a boy, Jenna, you would understand how much a son needs a father figure" or something ridiculous along those lines. And of course I put him in his place through obvious arguments like "in that vein, single mothers shouldn't be allowed to raise children" and such but he's not even a bad or homophobic guy in the slightest, so it goes to show how even educated people are still prejudiced against things which contradict gender norms. So that reminded me a lot of what Brandon is facing, even from his mother if I recall correctly.

Ahem. Tangent (what else is new?). Anyway this was an excellent chapter and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next!! :D Also, love the last line. Hehe. Harry is pretty humble but he does deserve his mighty moments sometimes.

Oh and before I forget, I loved the Ginny line about "that lecherous little toad's timing." It was such a Ginny thing to say and made me smirk, hehe.

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Review #28, by LululunaI'll Never Let You Have Her: She Returns

10th August 2014:
Hi Tammi!!

Wow, I think Louis' panicked thoughts in reaction to Freya's return really showed how hard she hurt him and made it sink in. Although I'm curious to hear what Freya has to say to explain herself and why she's been gone for so long I also am glad that Louis has the support system he needs in order to protect himself from being hurt again and to get him through whatever Freya might attempt to do.

Sam and Rachel were so cute here and I loved their little domestic breakfast date. Rachel's point of view at the beginning was nice to and made me like her more. She comes across as very down to earth and easy going, and I liked all the scenes with the dragons and how central they were to Sam's day. You do a really good job of writing Sam and her actions!!

Great chapter, Tammi!! :D I'm so excited for the next one already!! ♥

Author's Response: HEY!!! :D *squishes*

He was so hurt, and he's going to continue getting hurt unfortunately, I feel bad for what I'm about to put him through :( Freya will be making more of an appearance, whether or not she has a good enough excuse for being away, we shall see :P

I'm glad that you like Rachel, I wanted Louis to have someone a lot different from Freya, he needs someone who's going to treat him like he should be.

Thank you so much! I hope you continue to enjoy the story :D

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Review #29, by LululunaTrue Romance: I don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You

9th August 2014:
All caught up!!! :D

Woah, so much happened in this chapter!! I thought you wrote the funeral scene really well and the grief came through: though it's awful, I'm glad there were so many people who loved Arthur and were there to honour him, and that all the Weasleys have each other for support. It was nice to see Charlie as well even if he was being a bit bitter about his lack of a love life, I think that sort of attitude might encourage Rose to stop being depressed about her non-relationships.

Hmm, well looks like Corbin's possessiveness has come to a breaking point. This definitely made me not like him and I hope Scorpius leaves him as domestic violence is not okay, whether it's between a heterosexual or homosexual couple, or happens once or everyday. It's not alright, and I hope Scorpius can see through that and not forgive Corbin. I was proud of him when he told him to leave as it shows how he's grown up and doesn't let people walk all over him anymore.

Aw, poor Lily! Can't say I didn't see it coming but it's sad that she didn't. Rose was right about the silver lining but of course that's not going to make Lily feel any better for the time being. :(

A great chapter, and yay I'm all caught up. Now I can firmly say that I'm excited for the next udpate! :)

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Review #30, by LululunaTrue Romance: A Satisfied Mind

9th August 2014:
Woohoo I'm almost caught up!

Aw, poor Rose. It does make sense that she would lose confidence and be more self-consious after her post-relationship rejection from Scorpius, I can completely see where she's coming from.

Gah, I do think that Lily is rushing things with Archie. Not only that she's young - though that is a big part of it - but I don't really see what the rush is especially since they haven't known one another that long. I thought the family's reaction was very realistic though I have my doubts about whether this engagement will actually make it to marriage.

It's so sweet how much Arthur and Molly still cared about one another and how well they get along, I just loved them together. ♥ Especially just in front of what was about to happen next. It is a natural part of life and Arthur had a wonderful one, but his death is of course so sad to read about. At least he died at home after just having a lovely moment with his wife and grandson, and he didn't suffer.

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Review #31, by LululunaTrue Romance: There Goes the Fear

9th August 2014:
Aw, poor James!! I hope he's okay!!

I liked seeing the Scamanders and Lysander's crush on Lily was cute, especially with how he would not only look at the paper to just see her name, but also admit to doing so. You did a good job of writing their family dynamics and it was fun to see them appear in this story!

I think it might be good for Rose to move abroad semi-permanently and sort of start over there. It would be good for her business as well as get her out of the same old routines. It was fun reading the banter with her and her friends however, especially when she wanted to use magic on Eliza.

Ooh, raunchy times with Corbin and Scorpius. :P That was a cute moment, and I love all the sneaky innuendos, hehe.

Poor Lily - I'm glad she stood up for herself and her family, and hopefully she'll be able to find a way to fight back against the way the Prophet was handling cases and show how corrupt they are and have always been. I have noticed a theme of independent businesses and entrepreneurs in this story so it would be interesting to see if Lily goes in that direction too.

Another great chapter - I really hope James is okay!!

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Review #32, by LululunaTrue Romance: Hold Tight

9th August 2014:

I need to find more creative ways to begin and end reviews, haha.

Yay, James is still seeing Cindy!! I quite like what I've seen of both of them, especially James since he's so different from his regular portrayals in fanfiction with how he's more shy and insecure. Actually all of your Potter/Weasley characters are quite distinct and original.

I loved the line about needing the high chair in the first paragraph!

Hahaha, I can't believe Lily made the comment about having babies in front of her whole family! So funny. I liked seeing all the family dynamics and how Cindy was getting such positive attention even if Archie didn't quite fit in the same way. Also, Albus was really sweet in his cluelessness with Cora and I like how he's learning.

Corbin's a sneaky one, isn't he? With how he figured out the dinner with the Malfoys, and how Draco agreed with him about the planning for the books to have aphrodisiacs in them. I loved how Draco thought he was intelligent because of his sneakiness, hehe. it's nice to see the Malfoys sort of getting along, however.

I'm glad things get better for Rose soon!! *cough Pedro cough*

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Review #33, by LululunaTrue Romance: Don't You Want Me

9th August 2014:
Hi Rose!!

Ahahaha, I knew it would only be a matter of time before a lustful insinuation popped up in this story!! :P (referring to Al's inappropriate thoughts in front of Brandon's mum).

Backtracking a bit, aw I'm glad Al and Scorpius can be so mature with one another even though I do want them to be together in a way like I said in the last review.

It was sweet how Albus freaked out over Cora possibly being injured - maybe a bit like a new parent himself? It was nice seeing that real moment between Al and Brandon and how their everyday life might be together with Cora. I liked the interactions with Beatrice as well. I'm still more of a Scorbus shipper if I had to choose but Brandon is great as well and I do want him to be happy.

Poor Rose, well she really should be celebrating her single life while she still can since she has gotten to kiss a few pretty boys lately! Hopefully she crosses paths with Pedro again soon or some other awesome boy who hasn't already snogged Albus. :P

Another great chapter, Rose!! :)

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Review #34, by LululunaTrue Romance: Ice Cream

9th August 2014:
Aw, Remus was so cute. You do a really good job of writing kids, both he and Cora always seem so realistic. I thought it was a great moment of irony when Teddy said that Al had a lot to learn about kids without realizing how much that would sting due to what's going on in Al's personal life: it was a really good example of how it's easy to say the wrong thing and also how much this issue is affecting Albus.

Hmm poor Rose. She was pretty inappropriate going behind Al's back that way even though he doesn't quite deserve Brandon either in my opinion. I almost find myself shipping more Rose/Brandon and Albus/Scorpius in some ways though because I do think that Al and Scorpius have a lot in common and are both a bit sneaky in similar ways, but if Brandon doesn't feel that way about Rose then I'm sure it can't be helped.

I think it would be so cool for Scorpius to move to Paris, though I think he'd have to do it also for the sake of his own career and happiness, not just to keep Corbin happy and secure. I really liked hearing about his family history and I'd be even more curious about what the months hiding out in Paris were like for him as a child and whether it maybe explains why Corbin is a bit insecure and protective. It definitely adds an interesting side to his character.


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Review #35, by LululunaTrue Romance: Only Myself to Blame

9th August 2014:

I think Brandon and Al's conversation was pretty realistic. I know Brandon was disappointed but if he wants Albus to commit to both him and Cora then that's a decision that shouldn't be rushed into, and of course Al is still keeping secrets from Brandon like what he was really doing the weekend they were supposed to go on that date. I almost feel like Albus just isn't mature enough to be with Brandon right now.

I loved Rose's scene! Well, felt uncomfortable because of Henrik being creepy and rude to her but the part with Pedro was cute. I think that clients making advances like that on her would be the sort of thing Rose will unfortunately have to deal with since she's young and attractive: it's not fair, but not unexpected that Henrik would find her helpfulness as a sign that she was interested. Though it was a bit crude Pedro had wise words about being careful about what she's "selling."

Yay for Lily! I know she didn't fully appreciate it but I liked how Archie took her there to tell her that he loved her. Cheesy, but kind of cool. I'm looking forward to seeing how meeting the family will go!! :)

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Review #36, by LululunaTrue Romance: The Wolves and The Ravens

9th August 2014:
Hi again Rose!!

Uh oh, sounds like Rose might have a bit of a thing for Brandon - clearly her and Albus have similar taste in guys which could be problematic. The moment where Albus showed up and Rose was there felt quite awkward and I was cringing a bit for her, and I don't blame her for feeling a bit embarrassed and not really knowing why she went there. I'm excited to read more about Rose's trip to Spain and how everything goes as it sounds so fun and fascinating.

The party was quite eventful, I love James and Cindy having a moment! Derrick was amusing as well though I'm glad Albus didn't go for him as well.

Haha, somehow I suspected that Corbin and Astoria would get along well! I'm glad Scorpius was standing up for himself and his business principles and it shows how important his job is in helping people with the potions they most likely need. I'm still not sure if I see a real future with Scorpius and Corbin as the latter is a bit controlling and condescending at times. But it would be so cool if they went to Paris!!

Another great chapter!! :D

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Review #37, by LululunaTrue Romance: Where the Wind Blows

9th August 2014:
Curse you and your speedy updates, making me all behind on reviewing! :P (But not really because ♥)

I can definitely relate to Rose's feelings about her friend getting married and having a baby. I'm at a similar age where a couple people are doing that and it's just so weird because I still feel like a kid! :P I thought you wrote her in contrast to her friends really well: even though Eliza's the one doing "grown-up" things Rose actually is a lot more mature.

And what?!! She got pregnant to keep her man?! Do people actually do that??!! :P

I think Scorpius is right to be a little wary around his mother. He doesn't want to get hurt again by her and letting her into his trust again might lead to more pain. She also isn't exacrly the best at communicating either though it is nice that she's making an effort. Typical Draco, too stubborn to admit he acted poorly as well.

The scene with Al and Brandon was sweet, and I liked how Brandon was so happy about their teamwork in doing ordinary household things, like cleaning and eating and feeding the baby. That's clearly the sort of stability and support that he needs right now, and I hope Albus understands that and isn't going to play around too much.

Great chapter, Rose!! Hopefully I'll be more caught up soon and I'll have to check out the one-shot!! :D

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Review #38, by LululunaStarfall: Prologue

4th August 2014:
Hi Isobel! ♥

Ooh, I'm so excited about this! The whole prologue was just deliciously, darkly written and chilling. I'm definitely intrigued to find out what could lead Lily to sacrifice her own child like this. It ties in a really interesting way with the summary, and I'm wondering if the loss of Harry is like the loss of innocence and love for Lily. I can't imagine her being selfish enough to sacrifice her son without a great deal of pain and if she believed it was the only thing that could be done to keep Voldy from continuing to destroy.

At first I hoped that there might be some way that Harry could still survive this: perhaps, because he is an innocent soul dying to save others, he could be spared like he was in DH? That would fit with the Jesus/saviour background of Harry's death in DH, but here Harry isn't willingly giving consent to sacrifice himself for others, so I'm not so sure.

Another line I found really interesting was about "the man she loves." I'm not sure if that refers to Snape or James here, since it wasn't actually specified. I'm sort of thinking Snape might have convinced her since James could either be dead (since I can't imagine him agreeing with Lily to give up Harry and because he wouldn't come with her) or she could be in love with Snape. He was pretty secretive in this chapter so I'm not sure.

Wow, you really packed so much into a short prologue! This was amazing, and I'm excited for the next chapter! :D

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Review #39, by LululunaWhen The Storm Breaks: What Might Have Been Lost

3rd August 2014:
Hi Lia! I'm finally here with your review from TGS, I'm so sorry for taking this long! Usually I do a lot better with being punctual with these things but RL has been awful this month.

I read Sense and Sensibility years ago when I was too young to really appreciate Austen, but reading this and tying in all the characters to their inspirations is really cool. I wish there were more fanfics like this that adapt classical novels because the concept is really fascinating and it's amazing seeing how things can tie together in the HP world. Of course the story can't be exactly like the original Austen but I think the manipulations of the canon characters works quite well here.

I like how you keep that classical Austen feel: of country houses, inheritance, propriety, while blending it into the pre-Marauders era. It fits well with the strict structures of the traditional pureblood society, even though there are differences: like Lucius' mother insisting he get a job, which would be quite modern for a rich young aristocrat. I also liked how the story tied into the First Wizarding War timeline, particularly in the early chapters with the mention of Benjy Fenwick dying and the Death Eater attacks. Voldy seems more like a rising terrorist force than an actual threat to society, and I'm curious to see if Lucius joining up would become a further theme.

I love how you tied in the Black sisters with the girls from S&S. Bellatrix fits so well as being wild and spiritied, and her HP character is someone who entirely lacks sense and follows her wills and emotions. Andromeda is wonderful as well and I'm quite curious to see if Ted Tonks will appear as a suitor and whether he will be the Willoughby or Colonel Brandon figure.

I can already tell that Lucius and Narcissa complement one another quite well, with how they're both at the head of the family, have suffered loss of a parent, and have a mature sense of responsibility. Siobhan complicates things too: I quite liked her and how well she understands Lucius, and her sort of lanky, unusual kind of beauty which he is attracted to. I can imagine her as the Lucy Steele character in that Lucius honouring his commitment to her (even if he doesn't love her anymore) and marrying her would be grounds for him to be disowned by his family if her blood status isn't good enough.

With regards to this individual chapter, I loved how you described the Black women waiting for their new guests to arrive. It was so ominous and tense, and showed how not only were they waiting for guests but also for their lives to change and to be driven out of the lives they thought they had. It's quite tragic in a way. The decadence and need to show off possessions and wealth came across as well in the concentration of how they would be presented.

I really enjoyed reading this, and will add it to my favourites to keep an eye out for updates. It's a really neat story, and your writing does an excellent job of bringing the AU world to life and making it engrossing. Great work! :)

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Review #40, by LululunaI'll Never Let You Have Her: Things Could Have Been Different

29th July 2014:
Hi Tammi! :) Here for the Slytherin Review Exchange!!

So I enjoyed this so much and kept reading until the latest chapter, and now I'm super excited for the next one! :) I haven't read the first novel in this series (yet) but I have this odd love for reading sequels before I read the first book. It's interesting because the characters are already developed and then I can look forward to seeing the pieces come together when reading the prequel! :P

Ahem...anyway. :P So I really love this. I think, first of all, that you're writing a teen pregnancy story from the male point of view and showing how the mother, not the father, was the one to abandon the child is such an original idea. In one of my classes last year we were looking at how female abandonment of children is far more taboo and socially rejected - as if because women are "natural caregivers" they are criticized if they abandon their children. Meanwhile, stats show how more often than not fathers abandon their children and are not held accountable in the same way as women. It's quite interesting, and here you're showing an alternative and non-stereotypical family and I really like how you've developed Louis as a father and a single caregiver.

I can't wait for Freya to come back and how she'll confront Louis. I'm not sure how I feel about her, I mean in some ways she seems like the bad guy but I also feel like she just wasn't ready to have being a mother forced upon her when there were other options available. It's really sensitive what she should have done and I'm not even really sure how I feel about it. I know that if I was in her situation I would want the choice of whether to be a mother or not but Louis keeping Sam and raising her complicated that as opposed to if they had given her up for adoption. And I can see Louis' perspective as well with regards to being protective over Sam and not wanting Freya to be able to hurt them again.

Another unique aspect to the story is the Louis/Horatio romance, especially in this chapter. I guess when I read the prequel I'll find out how far the romance went then but they're so cute so far. It's great to see bisexual characters in fanfic as well and adding the secret love/best friend dynamic towards them. Horatio is a really fun character but I don't really approve of how he's playing Louis and Molly a bit right now - Louis doesn't need to have his heart toyed with at the moment with all his other responsibilities.

Rachel and Louis were so cute, I liked her excuse to sneak him away from the party and how quickly things escalated from former chapters. I'm not sure whether I want Louis to be with her or Horatio - or someone else - yet but I really like seeing how romance blends in and mixes with Louis' responsibilities as a father, especially in the last chapter. I'm looking forward to finding out more about Sam and her current anxieties, and of course Freya's return. In the meantime I'm putting ILHEFTBOU on my to-read list and can't wait! :D

One more thing to compliment you on: I feel like you have a strong talent for writing ordinary, everyday situations and making them both believable but incredibly interesting. I just mention this because I think it can be a rare talent and shows your skills as a storyteller and at creating characters.

Amazing story, Tammi!! I'm so excited to read more!! ♥

Author's Response: Hello!!

I'm so glad that you enjoyed my story, and wow! I'm hoping you can keep up with what's been happening. It's great that you read sequels first and it makes sense to read about already developed characters. :P

Haha, I'm so glad that you loved this. I'd never seen one from the fathers POV so I really wanted to write it, especially having the dad as the one who has to look after the baby. You're right, it's a taboo, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. My poor little Louis, I put him through so much.

Oh she's going to come back and bring a big change with her, she's about to rock Louis' entire world. *hugs him because I'm so mean to him* It's ok to not know how you feel about her, there's been a lot of hate for her so far. There's a lot of emotion between them all and they're trying to deal with it as best as they can.

Louis and Horatio wasn't even meant to be happening in the story, it wasn't until the readers started shipping them together that I became convinced that it was a good direction to go in. They were so close to each other and so fond/protective of each other that it wasn't even a massive leap to do. Horatio is playing a very dangerous game, and acting like his brother at the moment, Louis needs someone who's going to be there for him and Sam, which Horatio definitely will be. It's just whether or not he stays with Molly or Louis.

Sam is dealing with a lot of anxieties at the moment as though she can sense something coming.

Oh thank you so so much! You've seriously made my entire life! You're so kind and so amazing to me. I think I might cry in happiness. *hugs you so tight and never lets go*

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Review #41, by LululunaHouse of Cards: King of Hearts

12th July 2014:
Hola! :)

Honestly, these people need to hire some bodyguards or something because clearly this house is not safe and there is one, if not several, traitors in their midst. I'm not sure about the ending: if Alphard attacked Regulus, or if perhaps the potion he gave him just induced nightmares or pain or something which might cause him to scream. It seemed quite carefully worded so could go either way really.

Ah, so frustrating how Regulus couldn't explain what was going on in time! I'm so curious about who is committing all these murders and whether or not they will be brought to justice. Bella's accusation of Barty seems pretty far-fetched especially because Barty doesn't really have much motive to hurt his boyfriend other than being a bit mad.

And Sirius finally realizes about Barty and Reg! I liked how protective he was, just like any older sibling over a younger one, and I'm curious to see whether he'd be accepting of the relationship or not since I don't think he's the greatest fan of Barty. I wonder if perhaps Alphard is also gay which could lead to the distancing from the family - I really don't know how I feel about him since he's quite manipulative but also seems like he has good intentions -he's just as slimy as the rest of the really, but shows it in different ways.

Another suspenseful and exciting chapter! :D

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey Jenna! Thanks so much for dropping by! This was such a lovely surprise to get! :)

Haha, yeah, bodyguards would be a seriously good idea for them all! Though I think they'd rather they all died before that happened :P Sorry about that - it is meant to be confusing! Though Alphard didn't actually give Regulus the potion, just went towards him - sorry if that was unclear (I'll look over it again!).

Yeah, poor Regulus! He really does want to say something, and it really is important... he will eventually, don't worry! ;) Barty... depends on what you think of Barty, I guess, haha, but yeah, Bella may or may not be on the right track with that accusation :P

I have to admit, it was quite a difficult scene to write. One of my sisters is bi, which helped a bit, but it was just getting the right tone, you know, which was hard... haha, and yeah, he is more protective than he thinks he is and definitely wants to be - it's a shame because it kinda shows how rough their relationship is. Alphard... ooh, interesting theory ;) He is just as slimy, but his intentions.. well, they're not quite so bad as the rest of them, perhaps! :)

Thank you so so much for the great review - it was so so lovely to get, and such a great surprise! :)

Aph xx

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Review #42, by LululunaTraitorous Hearts: A Family Affair

12th July 2014:
Finally all caught up! :)

Haha, aw, I love how sweet Astoria is with the house elves, from helping them find clothes to leaving messes for them to clean up out of pity. It's sweet and also fits her personality in how she's quite resourceful and notices the little details, even if it's as simple as keeping the elves happy.

So I actually loved hearing Felix's thoughts on Muggles! It was really an interesting interpretation of an educated (though slightly mad and undisciplined) opinion on Muggles and literature, and as weird as it was the cat analogy did make sense to me. I also love the mentions of a wizard sponsoring a production of AMND because it's my favourite play and this fits so well with all the fantastic elements in the play. I love seeing how wizards could impact history with those little anecdotes.

I'm glad Astoria found a way to keep the books. It almost seems worth it despite the danger if they give her dad some comfort.

Ah, poor Draco - I liked seeing the impact of Harry's escape on him and how it changed the way he would think about his duty. I wonder if Astoria had an impact on Draco which explains why he showed some hesitancy to convict Harry despite disliking him, and so Astoria's influence fits quite well with canon here.

I can't wait to see what happens next!! :) I love this story!! ♥

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Astoria is sweet to the Elves, and it's one of the things I really like about her. The whole House Elf issue always reminded me of the American South. Like, I've never seen/read THE HELP, but I think it talked about this? Like, how you had African American women who worked in the house and raised white children, whose mothers were usually played a much smaller part in their upbringing. And the white children, as they grew up, had three responses to that, more or less: (1) they grew up, put it out of their minds, and continued to be racist (2) loved their nanny but were racist against all OTHER African Americans, or (3) they cared about the woman that raised them and thus actually grew to see an entire race of people differently.

I mean, that's an oversimplification, probably, but that's the idea. And I always thought House Elves would be the same way. You'd have people who treated them like dirt, or people who only cared about the ones that they knew, or people who cared about all of them because they had grown up in an Elf's care. Astoria falls toward that third approach, probably now more than ever, as Filly is pretty much the only dependable person in her life at present.

I'm so glad you liked hearing Felix's thoughts! Oh, the cat analogy! Writing Felix is really fun when he's *there*. Your description of him--educated, mad, and undisciplined--makes me SO happy, because that is just what I was going for. And I'm glad that you liked the Shakespeare references. I feel like Shakespeare + wizardry would be such an amazing theatrical experience, and also kind of disastrous. : )

Draco and Astoria both have sort of compromised their personalities lately. Astoria is so pragmatic, usually she'd have had those books destroyed. However, her desire to keep her family together outweighs her natural inclinations.

As far as Draco goes, I always felt like he was such a human character. I wondered, at the end of the 7th book, why the change? Like, he saves Harry's life, and then chapters later he's in the Room of Requirement hunting him down. Why?! What happened to that positive character development? To me, that meant that whatever happened to him as a result of showing mercy must have been pretty awful.

And I'm also delighted that you think it fits well with canon! I had hoped so. I saw it as a gradual ramping up of Draco's better instincts: he doesn't kill Dumbledore, but he doesn't *commit* to not killing him. To go straight from there to lying about Harry is a pretty big jump. I mean, he hates Harry, and Harry hates him. Neither of them has ever done each other a single good turn, and DRACO of all people is the first to break that tradition. Draco has everything to gain from Harry being caught--the war ends (or is more likely to fizzle out), he gets mega props, his family moves firmly to the Dark Lord's good side, which would mean their safety. But he doesn't choose that. In my version, I think his saving Astoria had a lot to do with his helping Harry. For a while there, he sort of built some merciful momentum. Obviously it doesn't last through to that scene in the Room of Requirement, but at least that side is there.

Thank you so much for all the reviews! My smile when I saw them was so huge--like, it covered half my face. :D


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Review #43, by LululunaTraitorous Hearts: A Changing Tide

11th July 2014:
Back again! :)

Ahh, Draco defended Astoria! I'm so proud of him haha although granted for their future relationship it would be a bit difficult if she had been killed by Greyback. The moments where she thought she was going to die were so terrifying but excellently written of course, and I liked the little details like how she was thinking about her nails of all things. In a way I almost thought Draco was too slow and should have spoken up before Greyback was practically seconds away from sinking his teeth into her but at least he did in the end. I'm pretty sure that he won't see any real repercussions about it since he's still alive at the time of the battle of Hogwarts but I'm a little worried for both of them now.

Thinking about Astoria's poor father being killed and tortured was so sad and came across well. I certainly felt empathy for him and Daphne through Astoria's fears about them even in the face of her own possible death.

I really hope that Draco is helping Astoria because he legitimately wants to be a good person and not just because he thinks she's a babe, however. I think the attraction is definitely there but should take a back seat to helping her for the sake of doing the kind thing. It almost reminds me of Snape and Lily in a way even though Astoria and Draco are very different both morally and with where they stand.

Can't wait to keep reading! ♥

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Author's Response: Yay, Draco! Someone give that boy some positive feedback!

My lips are sealed in regards to their future relationship, but I will say that the story would have been much shorter if Greyback had made Astoria into an appetizer.

Thank you so much! As far as the nails go, when you're panicked, your brain sometimes kicks into overdrive. For me, at least, that means I'm frantically noticing all sorts of things and my mind will go down odd little rabbit holes and then I'll be yelling at myself like HELLO, EMERGENCY HERE! IT DOES NOT CURRENTLY MATTER THAT THIS CLOUD IS INTERESTINGLY SHAPED! I guess it's some sort of flight or fight, heightened observation thing, but it always amuses me (after the fact).

Draco *was* rather slow about it, wasn't he? Do you think that's a timing thing I should fix, or just something you wanted to yell at him over?

I think worrying for both of them is an appropriate response. We know he's still ALIVE at the Battle of Hogwarts...but "alive" and "alright" are two very different concepts.

I'm glad that came across. Astoria's loyalty to her family is a huge driving factor of her character. It's certainly one of her better qualities.

I don't think Draco *knows* why he helped Astoria. Although I'm really loving the image of Draco calling her a babe, and what Astoria's response to THAT would be--bahaha. He certainly is attracted to her, and I think that's sort of what he focuses on, because it's easier. If he can bundle all the layers of what he's thinking safely into the, "She was just really attractive" box, then he just gets to call it a lapse of judgement than any hormonal teenager might have. He doesn't like losing control or being convinced to do anything he hadn't expected to, so he'd like to lean on the simplest explanation possible. However, being convinced to do something crazy just because he thought someone was hot would be rather out of character for such a controlled person. I think it is safe to say that there's a more to it than that. Even as he does imply, for instance, that he find her eyes very pretty, he also talks about her strength of will.

Draco is not generally impulsive, and he isn't one to just let things go. I think we'll get to hear more of his thoughts on the subject ;)

Thanks again for the reviews! I appreciate hearing your thoughts SO much!


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Review #44, by LululunaTraitorous Hearts: The Stolen Truth

11th July 2014:
Hi again Penny! :)

Gah, it was so chilling to find out that Draco's intentions with the interview, or purpose, are to lead to the execution of Astoria and her family. I liked seeing that he was at least a little bothered by this and not entirely caught up in "the game" as it's quite horrific. I'm really worried about her now as somehow my mind never went that far into the future for her fate but especially with the ending it looks like he's close to figuring everything out.

I'm still so curious to learn more about her family and finding out more details about her father, the sort of man he is and was and the suspicions raised about him was really fascinating.

Ahaha, so I know it's a serious conversation but I was quite amused by the bit of dangerous banter, like when Astoria was talking about the Weasleys' lawn. :P So witty, and Draco's sassy insult towards their house made me laugh though he's quite obnoxious.

By the way, I also really like how the Greengrasses have eastern/asian heritage! I'd love to learn more about that as well and how their culture might impact their identity as wizards. Very interesting to see diverse characters within the story. :)

Another great chapter - I can't wait to see what happens next with the Legilimency and beyond the parlour. :P

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: OOoh! Chilling! I like it!

...that might not be a healthy response. Oh well :D

Draco would like to be caught up in "the game". I think that Astoria's cleverness allows him to enjoy it as an academic exercise--ferreting out her secrets (no pun intended) is sort of a chess match. He can think less about how horrible it all is, up until the very end when he's being forced to face the consequences, and it begins to trouble him even earlier. Astoria is obviously a case he hasn't run into before. He's used to dealing with "innocent" people who are self-serving and horrid and, while innocent of the crimes he's accusing them of, they more or less deserved what was coming to them. That's most of what he's been dealing with, and judging by his current levels of self-loathing, it bothers him a lot. So Astoria, who is *actually* guilty, but for whom he has some respect, sort of changes things for him.

Astoria's family are an interesting bunch, for sure. Her mom's a spy and her dad was associated with the Unspeakables/Department of Mysteries. She definitely has secret-keeping in her blood.

Haha, I cannot tell you how happy I am that you liked that part! I was hoping to break things up with a little snatch of humor. It's one of those things where, looking back on it, you get to see how well they match up to one another, and you can imagine a lot of future conversation between them that would be quite fun. You know, if Draco could ease up on the evil and Astoria could, like, not die. Both important stipulations in moving forward with any relationship ; )

And I am ELATED that you like the Greengrasses heritage. As you know by now, of course, since I'm answering these in reverse order, they are actually Chinese. Yay diversity!

And I'd like to go ahead and apologize about the Legilimancy. And the parlour. And the werewolf. Writing is so weird. You write these characters, and then you make bad things happen to them. It's like having children, and you love them, but instead of, like, working to give them stability and comfort, you throw rocks at them and put snakes in their shoes. Something is wrong about that, right?

I probably sound crazy again. Meh, oh well ; )

Thank you again for your thoughts and opinions!!!


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Review #45, by LululunaTraitorous Hearts: The Malediction Perfidious

11th July 2014:
Hi Penny! :) So glad to have the chance to come back and review bomb you! :D I really missed this story!

I liked seeing things from Draco's POV and how materialistic he is with judging Astoria's home against his own. It's very in character with Draco from canon since he was obsessed with what he had that others didn't but now this is a more subdued reaction where he measures possessions in terms of all he has lost. I thought the breaking china set was an amazing metaphor for Draco's loss of identity and his life under the Dark Lord.

The Curse that Lavinia cast on her daughter is so horrific, yet so brilliant on your part. It fits so well and adds this whole, bewildering, horrifying dynamic to their mother-daughter relationship and the secrets which made them emotionally close. The idea that Lavinia didn't trust her daughter or wanted to punish her in the rare case that she would tell the secret...well, it really changes the way Astoria can look back on her, and I wonder if it will change her character in the future as well. The corruption of Astoria's memories of her mother being motherly were so heartbreaking too with how Lavinia was just cuddling and hugging her partly to cast the Curse.

I absolutely loved the last two lines and the alliance forming between Ginny and Astoria. Of course they can't quite be friends yet but I like the partnership between them and how much they have in common and can read one another - it's really interesting to see develop.

Great chapter, darling! :)

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hello you, too, hon! Thank you so, so much! I cannot tell you how excited I was to see your reviews today.

Oh, Draco, you have so much potential...but you're such a jerk, like, 95% of the time. I think it was Elphaba&Boyfriend who actually gave me the suggestion of having him judge her house/possessions, because I was initially having a little trouble breaking into his POV. After that, it flowed pretty naturally. It's like a recipe--just add bitter materialism! And thank you! The china was one of my favorite details, so am really glad you enjoyed it. You're totally right--his response to Astoria's possessions is much more subdued. He once would have been looking so that he could lord it over her, how much better Malfoy Manor was. Now he's just looking because he's used to noticing these things, even though it makes him unhappy. He certainly doesn't gain any joy out of it.

Thank you. The curse is definitely horrific. I think it's safe to say that Astoria's family is totally screwed up, and the fact that she doesn't really know WHY Lavinia did it, that she can't confront her because she's dead, makes it all the worse. It truly changes everything. But it *was* important. Before, she told her secret to the Order of the Phoenix to *avenge* her mother. Now, anything she does won't be for her mother, but for herself.

And ugh! I know! It is awful, even for me, the way it changes that memory of her mother! I'm so sorry! I mean, I'm glad I did it, but I'm sorry!

However, perhaps there will be more to that side of the story...

Ginny and Astoria's dealings with each other are some of my favorite bits. They each give as good as they get, and it's a very different vibe from when Astoria spars with Draco. Lighter. Besides, she could definitely use some alliances, and personally, their willingness to ply me with chocolates is what I look for most in an ally. It only makes sense.

Thank you so, so, so, so much for all the reviews! You are the best :D


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Review #46, by LululunaAcanthus: Penultimate Farewells

11th July 2014:
Hi Kiana! :)

There's something really sort of morbid and gothic about Rose finding comfort in Edward's body: it's like something Poe would come up with. :P But that section did a really good job of showing her frantic confusion. I also imagine that after Edward had been out in the desert for a few hours that he wouldn't be in such great shape...okay I'm the one being morbid now. :P

It makes sense that Rose would feel PTSD after witnessing what happened with Anthony. :( Aw, it's so sad how they secretly hope that they'll find Charlotte again and she'll be safe while still being angry with her - I'm curious about how she's managing to survive in the desert alone as well. I wonder if Rose had found her whether that would change the future and Russell at all.

Ah, Scorpius' self-sacrificing behaviour just irritated me so much, somehow people trying to be "noble" just comes across as selfish somehow because Rose deserved to know and at least have a proper goodbye. I sort of understand why he did it but he just sort of brought misery down on all of them. Grr.

I'm curious - I'm sort of suspecting he will find a way back, and I'm excited to find out the rest and what will happen!! Although his staying and being David's new bestie isn't such a bad thing either as David's pretty lonely right now and might need him. :P

Can't wait for the last chapter, woop!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey Jenna!

Yes, it is a strange sort of comfort but I'm glad that I could be likened to Poe despite it all! Haha, don't worry about being morbid, I suppose it's the natural thing to be after the way this chapter turned out to be.

I know, it's so sad :( Charlotte will have a minor role in the final chapter where you get to see how her story sort of tied up so don't worry too much about her as she will show up again soon. As for Rose and her being together again you'll just have to see...

I know, it's so annoying in this chapter and the next few as well because of the lack of goodbye and everything else because of it. If he had just said everything it would have made life a whole lot easier.

Hmm, I really love your theories so far and David certainly does need a new bestie if that helps at all. ;)

Thanks for another great review! :D


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Review #47, by LululunaEverto Trucido: A Werewolf, Snape, and a Redhead

7th July 2014:
Hi Rumpel! :) I didn't even realize you had a new chapter up so I'm so glad I came to double-check!

First of all, I laughed so much at Grace going up to hug Severus during their Potions lesson, and how confused he was, hehe. I can just imagine her being so tired and just wanting to hug him and him just being terrified, ahahaha. But it's so cute to see them finally getting along.

I might have mentioned this before but I think it's so clever how you explain the werewolf phenomena which accommodates canon but also allows a more noble and graceful identity for Remus as a werewolf. The fact that he needs Grace to turn into a proper wolf, not the dreadful and painful half-man monster, fits so well and shows how important the Servitor and Trucido are to one another, whereas I'm not sure if I quite understood it fully before.

I thought Remus was justified to be so angry though he can't deny that it helped him. He's so self-deprecating and has been consumed with the idea of being a monster that it's hard for him to think of himself as otherwise. And we all know that Grace was never going to listen to him anyway. :P

Awesome chapter, Rumpel! ♥

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey there!

Ha, Grace still hasn't learned everything about boundaries she snuck in a hug (or two). Of course, he wasn't overly receptive of the hug, but I suppose we can't blame him ;).

So far, I haven't exactly done the best job of explaining the Servitor-Trucido relationship -- I'm trying to get better at doing that. Though, it would be easier if the characters weren't butting heads at the moment.

Of course he was angry, she broke a promise to him and, in his eyes, put herself in danger. Though, you're right, he's not very accepting of what he is, and it weighs down all of the good things he could see in himself. No, she was never going to listen anyway ^.^.

Thanks so much!


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Review #48, by LululunaTrue Romance: The Love You Save (May Be Your Own)

7th July 2014:
Hi Rose! Loving these speedy updates so much!

Hmm, so let's go over things. With Archie, I understand why Rose didn't quite take to him, especially since she's such a fervent defender of people's rights to love who they want and not have it affect their identity and everything. I wasn't too impressed with his comments myself, but the fact of the matter is that people exist in varying degrees of acceptance and assumptions, like, for example, gay men not being macho enough to do a masculine job, definitely still exist and are perpetuated whether the person making those assumptions realizes or not. Even being a firm feminist I sometimes find myself making comments that I look back on and realize that society has trained me to think that way and that I just don't even think to question: for example my friend and I were complaining about her boyfriend and how he's acting immature - "like a girl." And then we kept reminding ourselves that no, acting like a girl isn't a bad thing, it's acting like a brat that's a bad thing. Anyway, tangent, but the point is that we all are guided by societal assumptions and that doesn't make Archie an ignorant or bad person, just that he hasn't been exposed to situations that show him it's not okay to make those assumptions.

Also, people are always changing and developing, and just because he made a couple comments doesn't mean he's inherently negative and will always think in that exact way. So I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt a bit, especially because Rose tends to jump to conclusions and act a bit impulsively. She could give him more of a chance to broaden his perspective.

That being said, though, I do hate an ignorant jerk as much as the next person. :P

I totally didn't realize that Cora was that young - she's just adorable! I like her and Brandon together a lot and he's just going to be such a good dad. I thought it was interesting how Beatrice made that comment about Cora needing a female role model as well: again, it goes into those societally perpetuated norms about the family that even somebody accepting of her son's sexuality would question without really considering that love trumps historical normality in what makes up a family.

Albus was being a bit of a pest in this chapter. :P I'm glad that Scorpius isn't letting Al toy with him any more than he already has because he needs to stand up for himself a bit. Maybe Scorpius and Brandon should get together? They're both behaving a lot more mature than Albus right now, I don't think he really deserves either man at the moment. :P

Great chapter as always, Rose! ♥ Sorry for all the rants!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: YES - LET'S GO OVER THINGS!

Rose is probably one of those people who wouldn't like her cousin's bf anyway though. I mean, she's of the opinion that no one is good enough to date her family. :P But, yeah, Archie is a bit ignorant and is making comments based out of a lack of experience around gay folks. I've had some of those exact conversations about socliazed thoughts that aren't congruent with feminist ideals. my sister has reverted into "guys are just like that" talk with her fiance and it makes me so mad!! ...anyway... I agree with your point.

Archie is in that dangerous zone of thinking that he's accepting but doesn't realize his words show a bit of a homophobic/non-tolerant undercurrent.

She's just a wee baby! WRITING BRANDON AS A DAD MAKES ME SQUEE SO MUCH!! *ahem* yeah, Beatrice is another person who is just a bit more traditionally minded. I'm glad that her comment didn't make her seem like a jerk though! she's really loving and accepting towards brandon.

ALBUS IS A COMPLETE BERK IN THIS THIS CHAPTER. Scorpius has learned a bit of self-control and whatnot. He's not just following his id. albus will work towards redemption, I promise!!

I LOVED YOUR RANTS!! thank you for an awesome review!!


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Review #49, by LululunaAcanthus: The Fatal Flaw

7th July 2014:
Hi Kiana!

Aw, poor Anthony! I really suspected he was going to take his own life though, and I'm sort of wondering whether he was depressed and suicidal or if he truly was meant for death anyway and was just speeding up the process. It's hard to say what could have been, but I'm also hoping that they do go back for his body as well as Edward's and give him a proper funeral if they can, because he did truly die a hero in his way as well. And he also facilitated Scorpius surviving, though I suspect there's something else going on with all this fatal flaw business.

I feel like the fatal flaw of all the characters is either that they are too selfish or selfless, and can never exist somewhere in the middle. George and Charlotte were selfish, Scorpius, Anthony, Edward were selfless and noble, and nobody is getting a real happy ending because of it.

We didn't get to see any Frederic Russell in this chapter but I'm quite excited to learn more and why exactly he saw reason in sending Scorpius and Rose back in time, unless he felt the need to make the past come true and urge it along it's way. Hmm, I'm not sure, but there's definitely still some danger lurking and some mystery to be solved.

Congrats on finishing, Kiana! :) I'm excited to read the next chapter when you get the chance to post it! ♥

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Author's Response: Hi Jenna!

I think with Anthony it was a mixture of all those things as he was just so confused and didn't really know what was going to happen, but this idea of death seemed to solve them all for him sadly which is why I think he ended up going for that option.

Yes, the fatal flaw was a subtle hint to their characteristics as well as the actually plot so I'm glad you picked up on that! You really did get them right though, because I think it could be a norm with people either only caring for themselves or not at all, so as you said there never could be anymore of them.

Yes, Frederic Russell and Hermione and co. have sort of faded into the background for now but that should reappear soon in the next few chapters so don't worry!

Thank you, and thanks for this great review, hopefully the final one can be up soonish! ♥


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Review #50, by LululunaThe Penelope Papers: R is for Revelations

7th July 2014:
Hi Isobel! :) So confession, I actually read this ages ago but totally blanked on reviewing - I'm sorry! :( I'm glad to be making up for lost time for now!

Wow, it's really interesting to see the background behind Penelope's grandmother and their relationship. I was so curious throughout the beginning of that section - good job building up the suspense! - and I love how you tie in issues of religion and bigotry and prejudice into this murder mystery, it really makes the story so rich. It's quite unique to see that prejudice from both sides, and that people like Penny's grandma and the Death Eaters have similar hatred of one another, despite the second group having more violent power of exclusion while Mrs. Clearwater had emotional power. Though locking Penny out of the house was just awful and is child abuse, I'm quite sure. I also like though how while religion is the reason Mrs. Clearwater used to discriminate, you showed the balance in that not all religious people are prejudiced through Oliver's teammate.

Can I just say how awesome it is that you liked the idea of the Pirates of Penzance and tied in the pirate portrait? I feel so proud! :P And the inn sounds really neat and wizarding, if that makes sense. I love how Fred was playing chess with the pirate, and that he's Leanne's ancestor: I definitely would want to hear more about that! :P

The chaos and banter between the friends was a lot of fun to read about, and I especially love how you wrote the twins, with the charmed chess pieces and Fred asking about oxygen. I think Bex was right about her friends needing an escape and finding different ways to grieve, and I'm pleased she stood up for them to Oliver. And as for Lee being the killer...hmm, well I definitely don't think so considering their future together and everything, but I'm very curious to see how the case and their relationship develops.

Hmm, I'm a little uncertain about ABC and whether he/she killed Penelope or not. Frankly my first reaction to the letter was to call nonsense and say that the killer's just trying to mess with the police but I'm not so sure, especially because of the line about "if only her suspicions had been noticed earlier..." So I'm not sure yet. Though this killer clearly knows a lot about Penny and her friends. I loved the description of Bex's picture as well: it suits her so well and how elusive she is, so that was a really neat detail.

Great chapter, Isobel! :) I'm really looking forward to the next one and promise to be more prompt about reviewing next time! :)

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hi Jenna! Don't worry, I'm just really happy you wanted to come back and R&R the next chapter! :)

Yay, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed the background of the Clearwaters. Their lives are very murky (pun intended, heh) when you include the emotions that are clearly dictating their lives. I'm really pleased that you enjoy the suspense here, since of course suspense is needed in a murder mystery! I'm quite pleased that you enjoyed the inclusion of Mrs Clearwater's prejudice and the balance of including Oliver's teammate -- I didn't want to paint all religious people with the same brush so he was necessary!

Haha thank you so much! You're quite right to feel proud -- Dee, Nicole and I are collabbing now to write a story about the pirate and Walburga Black! :D I'm really pleased that you like the inn -- I figured that there /had/ to be more than just the Leaky Cauldron, the Three Broomsticks and the Hog's Head! Fred certainly is the type of person who would willingly play chess with a pirate in a portrait :P

Haha thank you so much, I was word racing that scene late at night so I was really worried about the quality so it's great to hear that you loved how I wrote the twins! Absolutely -- bear in mind that at this time, they're all late teens/early twenties and in the middle of a war so they were bound to need to let go and just de-stress and for people of their age, that usually involves a visit to the pub :P Well, you never know -- Lee is a good friend of Bex's and if he has a good enough motive for killing Penelope (if he did) then Bex might be persuaded to keep quiet.

Hehehehe. You'll just have to see what happens when the killer is revealed! As for your theories, again, I can neither confirm nor deny ;) You're quite right though -- ABC does know a lot about Penelope and her friends. Haha, that's great to hear!

Thanks for such a fab review, Jenna, and no worries! Honestly, it's just great that you want to come and leave some reviews on my little story! ♥

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