Reading Reviews From Member: typewriter
  
57 Reviews Found

Review #1, by typewriterRoad Trip Down Memory Lane: The Trip

25th July 2013:
Jayde,

This was absolutely lovely. I thought you were spot on in capturing the feelings of someone in grieving. I loved that you wrote Ron very in-character, and he didn't know exactly how to comfort his wife at first. It's kind of nice to know that despite years of marriage, he still doesn't always know what to say especially to Hermione. Though he did a much better job at holding his tongue instead of putting his foot in his mouth, which was a nice change. I generally don't read stories that are Ron/Hermione shipped, but the story behind this one made it all perfect. It was nice to read about a couple who are so in-tune with each other. Well done!

~Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda!

Thank you SO much for this lovely review! And I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you about it!!

Aww! I'm glad you thought it was lovely!! Thank you for your comments about Ron's characterization, as well as the portrayal of someone in grieving. They really mean a lot to me, and I'm glad you thought Ron had a nice change here.

This is my first Romione story ever, so to hear you say that you liked this one, despite the fact that you don't really read Romiones, really makes me feel good! THANK YOU! ♥



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Review #2, by typewriterArthur Weasley Air-Bound: Arthur Weasley Air-Bound

25th July 2013:
Dee,

When reading this, all I could think about was how Arthur's love of Muggle trinkets reminded me a lot of Ariel. When he said they had funny names, I was waiting for him to start calling the artifacts thing-a-ma-bobs and whos-its. I adored the idea of Arthur getting Sirius's moterbike when Hagrid didn't need it anymore! I can't even imagine what it would be like to be with Arthur during his first trip in an airport. I laughed out loud at the "whoops" part with the revolving door. I think you captured a fun time for the family in the wake of a tragedy. It was nice that even Molly enjoyed herself, despite her sadness.

Excellent job!

~Amanda

Author's Response: Aah loving the little mermaid reference!

I'm really glad you liked the story. I think as sad as the weasleys would be after Fred's death he wouldn't want them to be moping around and a holiday would be exactly what they all needed.

Thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #3, by typewriterPotter's North to Alaska: Potters North to Alaska

25th July 2013:
Hello!

I thought it was an interesting pick to have the Potters and Teddy (the honorary Potter) go to Alaska of all places! It was quite funny and entertaining. The reason for the trip was hysterical and believable, what with Harry wanting to go because of a cursed Alaska pamphlet. It would make sense that he would want to follow up with something like that, as an Auror. Grammatically, there were some errors in this story that could easily be corrected with another run through over the story with a fresh pair of eyes. Also, you mis-wrote the word "Floo" as "flue", not that it's a big deal. Just pointing it out. :)

~Amanda

Author's Response: Haha the word floo is now my bane of existence, I did notice there was some mistakes and my goal in the month of august is to go through and fix it up and make it all shiny :) thanks for the review

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Review #4, by typewriterFinal Call: Final Call

25th July 2013:
Kira,

This did something really special: it made me feel for Petunia. She's a character that I usually have absolutely no sympathy for, considering her mistreatment of a poor boy who couldn't help who his parents were nor the relationship she had with them. Nonetheless, I thought this was a very plausible situation for her to need to cope with, and I like the idea of her and Lily sharing a love of travel. I thought it was nice that she had a connection with the sister she was a bit jealous and hateful towards. It's obvious that she did, in fact, love Lily, despite the pains she goes through to hide it. I think you did a lovely job at capturing Petunia's personality, as well as Dudley's and Vernon's. Well done!

~Amanda

Author's Response: I agree; I felt the same way about Petunia as I set out to write this story. Fortunately, writing about her forced me to get to know her better. I thought about how painful it would be to not be able to go to Hogwarts when your sister got to go. It never crossed my mind for a moment that she doesn't love Lily. She clearly had a bond when they were young and that sort of thing doesn't just go away. While I think her treatment of Harry is indefensible, I do think there is a lot of tragedy in her life, so that is what I tried to capture. You do such a lovely job of explaining yourself in this review, and it has made me tremendously happy. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review it. You're fantastic.

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Review #5, by typewriterWalk Away: Chapter Two

23rd July 2013:
Well that ended quickly! I thought there would be more time spent between them during Hogwarts, so I was very surprised when their relationship was already over before it really began. Not what I was expecting! I'm anxious to see where you're going with this!

~Amanda

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Review #6, by typewriterWalk Away: Chapter One

23rd July 2013:
This is already a really fun read! I sense the confusion that the two of them are feeling, and I already feel terrible for Fred because it is clear that somewhere along the lines he gets ditched for Ron out of some sort of obligation that Hermione feels. I'm excited to continue on! After all, I adore the twins with Hermione. :)

~Amanda

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Review #7, by typewriterMemory Lane : A Very Happy Halloween

18th July 2013:
I'm so sad I caught up with this story, because I selfishly do not want to have to wait for more! I've had such a fun time reading this and watching Hermione and Draco's relationship blossom! They fell asleep on the couch leaning against each other :) So cute!

~Amanda

Author's Response: Don't worry, the next chapter shouldn't be too much longer! Glad you're enjoying so far :)

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Review #8, by typewriterMemory Lane : A Day in Diagon Alley

18th July 2013:
When Draco was telling Jane about Hermione, I had to resist squealing because of how he has obviously changed his views of her. I hope hearing it from him helps Hermione to realize that, as well! I'm thinking Jane will be placed into Hufflepuff! But that may just be because I'm partial to the House. :D

~Amanda

Author's Response: That's what the speech was intended to do :) At this point she still has some doubts but she's definitely warming to him :) Jane is indeed a hufflepuff, I couldn't put her anywhere else :D

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Review #9, by typewriterMore Than Friendship: Chapter 9: Care and Comfort

18th July 2013:
So close! But I'm happy that George didn't kiss her. It was really not the right moment. In fact, it was so far from the right moment. Such a sad chapter, but you were really successful in writing Hermione's misery and depression. I particularly loved what Fred told her before she went off with George to see her parents' grave. Very wise words.

~Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you for yet another amazing review, Amanda! I agree that it wasn't the time for the kiss so I'm glad you don't hate me for not writing it. Thank you so much, that is very kind of you to say. I think that the twins are a lot deeper and more thoughtful than people think someimes and like you said Fred was very sweet and smart in what he said to Hermione! Thanks a million for reading and leaving all the lovely reviews! I really appreciate all the feedback and support! Jenna :)

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Review #10, by typewriterMore Than Friendship: Chapter 8: Brothers

18th July 2013:
This was swoon worthy! I just want to curl up and sigh to myself! The ending was perfect. I love the little ego boost of George realizing he had that effect on Hermione. I enjoyed reading the playful banter between the brothers at George's expense, and I thought they all made valid points regarding the situation. Especially since Ron and Hermione dated for a month. On a side note, sometimes you use words that aren't very "Wizarding World-accurate", so maybe you want to watch out for that so it seems more on base with HP? Like "Jesus" or "oh god", for instance. :) I do that, too! Like saying "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Christmas" since I'm American.

~Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you so much! What can I say? Put me in a room of Weasley boys and I'd be in heaven! There is so much uncertainty in their relationship as it is so I think you're right it gave him a bit more confidence. The talk between the brothers was just to realy open up George's eyes and as you said they made some valid points and I'm really happy that you enjoyed it. I never really think of it that way when I'm writing but you are definitely right. Thank you so much, I will be minding that in the future. On a completely irrelevent note... you don't say 'Merry Christmas' in America? It must be a million times harder trying to write a Potter fanfiction being American because there's so many little things that are different in England!
Sorry the last few lines really went off topic but oh well! Thanks a million for the great review! Jenna :)


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Review #11, by typewriterMore Than Friendship: Chapter 7: Ridiculous?

18th July 2013:
Your characterization of Charlie was hysterical. I thought it was so entertaining to read. I felt so sad for George when Hermione said them as a couple would be ridiculous, so I'm glad she saved the moment and made him happier. Lee was fantastic! Bring me that box. Now put it back. Priceless!

~Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love the Weasley boys and even though Bill and Charlie aren't really main characters I love them both and I just imagine Charlie being really funny. I know my heart broke for him in that moment but all is okay now so you needn't worry. Thanks! I love Lee as well so I'm glad you enjoyed that part! Thanks you very much! Jenna :)

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Review #12, by typewriterMore Than Friendship: Chapter 6: Changes

18th July 2013:
That was really cute! I loved how dumbstruck George got upon seeing Hermione dressed up. It was really sweet. I think you're capturing the feeling of a crush really well between them. I kind of hope Bill is right in saying that they will be together by the end of the holiday. I don't want Fred to be right! That'll be painful to wait to read! :)

~Amanda

Author's Response: Thanks Amanda! I know it was so cute and funny and I'm glad you think so because at times I think I under and over sell their relationship when I'm trying to show it as just progressing from a crush. I know I mean to do that to you readers would be evil, wouldn't it? Sadly I'm not always nice so I guess you will just have to wait and see! Thanks again! Jenna :)

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Review #13, by typewriterMore Than Friendship: Chapter 5: Time to admit

18th July 2013:
Fred has noticed! I'm impressed! Then again, maybe I shouldn't be as surprised as I am - they are twins after all. They're supposed to know each other better than anyone. I really love how you've gone about writing the twins' relationship with each other. I think you capture the range of it. How they can be serious with one another (usually when it is just the two of them), but feed off each other's playfulness when in front of others. It makes for an entertaining dynamic. I thought it was really sweet how George clammed up about Hermione, even with Fred. It was nice to see the ever-charming, confident Weasley twin in a vulnerable moment. And I can't wait for Angelina and Fred to get engaged. His comment to her at the end was very, very fluffy, but it was romantic - as Hermione stated. I liked how George was disgusted by it. We're starting to see his relationship with Hermione blossom. I'm waiting antsy for them to finally get together, or at least admit their feelings! And what happened with Ron? I can't wait for the fallout of his break up. Things are getting good!

~Amanda

Author's Response: Yes I think Fred and George are too close for something like this to go unnoticed for long. Thank you so much, I love Fred and George's relationship so I'm glad you think I've been able to capture it well! I know I think a lot of the time we forget the twins are just like the rest of us so I think it's nice to see them sad, confused or embaressed sometimes. I have to admit I wrote that moment just because I was in a fluffy mood and I had to do something to get out of it. I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks a million! Jenna :)

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Review #14, by typewriterMore Than Friendship: Chapter 4: Not Part of the Plan

18th July 2013:
This chapter was the one I was waiting for! I've been waiting for Ron to come to his senses and break up with Lavender (that relationship is the definition of unhealthy), and I've also been waiting for someone outside of Hermione and George to realize that they like each other. Go Ginny! I was figuring it'd be her, since the others seem rather dense about it! Fred is not nearly observant enough to figure it out first :) I thought the scene where they were bringing an unconscious Hermione to the Burrow was hysterical. I'm surprised McGonagall let them go, but, then again, after all these years of their mischief she's probably used to it. There were some grammatical errors in this one that stood out, but with a re-read they should be all set. I would also watch for run-on sentences in your work. I noticed them particularly last chapter, but it's always good to be aware of. Sometimes you have a long thought in your head and when you put the thought to paper it comes out in one long strand.

~Amanda

Author's Response: Thanks for yet another brilliant and in depth review! I was glad to have them break up too! I have never and will never be a fan of Lavender, I always her clingy nature and I just don't see how her and Ron could work as a couple. Ginny is definitely the more observant of them so was bound to be the first to notice. I'm so happy you liked it, I was literally imagining the sceptical look on McGonagall's face as it happened! Amanda you are my saviour! Finally I have a reader that is not too afraid of offending me to let me know where I'm going wrong. By no means does that mean I'm calling you rude or whatever I am honestly so appreciative that someone is finally letting me know what I need to work on! THANK YOU! Thanks a million for all the great reviews and the support! Jenna :)

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Review #15, by typewriterMore Than Friendship: Chapter 3: Going out?

18th July 2013:
I'm unbelievably happy that they "went out" together in this chapter. It was really well-written. You captured some lovely moments between the two of them that will set it up for them to eventually really date each other. I liked that Ginny thought they were dating and said she had always thought they'd make a cute couple, because when others start thinking it it just serves as reinforcement in the moments when George and Hermione feel something for each other but are unsure what to do about it. I really liked how you wrote the ending with the twins choosing to take Hermione's side, but not in a way where they were disowning their brother. They just want Ron to know he was not going about his heartbreak the right way. I can't wait for more George/Hermione goodness! I wonder if they'll get together before or after Christmas. When will Ron start to see the error of his ways? Will he admit to Hermione that he's been acting like a prat out of hurt feelings from their break up?

~Typewriter

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it! Haha I must admit I loved writing this chapter just for the pure fluff of it! I think Ginny thinking they were a couple was an eye opener for Hermione especially and it shows how obvious the potential for a relationship is. Thanks, I think in a lot of stories as soon as the Weasleys argue it's like they are never going to talk again and they hate each other but for me I think the idea of family for them is too strong for that to be the case. All will be revealed in the chapters to follow! Thanks again for the fantastic review! Jenna :)

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Review #16, by typewriterMore Than Friendship: Chapter 2: Does he really?

18th July 2013:
I really enjoyed reading this chapter. Grammatically, there were some moments that could easily be corrected if you read through it again with a fresh set of eyes. Often, I miss silly mistakes because I read what it is supposed to say instead of what it actually says. For example, "'Please don't,' she murmured begging him through her eyes he gave a huff but said no more." should be "'Please don't,' she murmured, begging him through her eyes. He gave a huff but said no more."

I thought Hermione's speech was a much needed outburst, but that what was said was a bit out of character for someone as level-headed and, generally, kind-hearted as Hermione. Though, it can definitely be argued that she was extremely hurt by what Ron had said and was, therefore, quite justified. My favorite part of it all was that the Weasleys and Harry stood by her and defended her to Ron. It was nice to see. I'm off to the next chapter!

~Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you Amanda! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! Thanks for pointing that out to me, grammar remains to be my biggest problem with my writing and I really appreciate the help!
I think when there is drama like this there has to be some sort of release just to show the anger or hurt is there. I know what you mean and I think you are right but I think it was needed to help the story along as well and just as you said for the circumstances it could be justified. I love the individual relationships within the group but I love the entire group relationship as well so I try to show both in the story! Thanks again for another lovely review! Jenna :)


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Review #17, by typewriterMore Than Friendship: Chapter 1: Just Friends

18th July 2013:
I love the idea of even Fred and George going back to school, especially considering they bailed with only a few months before they were supposed to graduate. I always felt that they did it for the right reasons, but that it was a tiny bit of a waste -- not that they weren't very successfully without their NEWTs or anything. They were just so clever that I was always frustrated at how they didn't flaunt it in anyway. The magic they do is brilliant! It's the reason I like Hermione/FredorGeorge so much. I think the twins compliment her very well.

Anyway, on to your story! I felt really bad for Hermione about her trying to not be a third wheel to Harry and Ginny. It is definitely hard to avoid when two of your good friends start dating. George trying to give Fred space was way more a heartbreaker for me, though. They're twins! They're each other's world. It's awful that he feels alone without Fred, but I hope Hermione can help him there. ;)

~Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda! Thank you so much for the amazing review!
Okay first I have to apologise because I'm sure you remember I did start reading your story 'A Wonderful Love' and then I don't know I feel like my feet have barely touched the ground recently but I have always said I have to go back and catch up with the story which I promise I will do at some point!
Onto the actual response now...
Thank you so much! I completely agree witth you I really think the twins are so intelligent and had so much more academic potential so I was happy to send them back in this story! I love the pairing too, they just seem so perfect and they work well together!
I know, I think that was really the basis to the whole story because Hermione was alone if she wasn't with Ron and if Fred was in a relationship he was alone. I love Fred and George's 'twinship' so I must agree the idea is heartbreaking, the twins are my favourite characters! But yes I'm sure Hermione will be of assistance! Thanks a million for the brilliant review! Jenna :)


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Review #18, by typewriterThe Prankster and The Prefect: Weird Encounters and Secret Glares

18th July 2013:
Your chapters keep getting longer and longer! I love it! I find that when I write, as I get further into the story more ideas pop up and make for more in-depth plot ideas. When you look at my latest George/Hermione story, you can see the word count rising with each chapter! Do you feel that that's what's happening with your story? :)

I really like the switching of points of view. It is a great way of capturing the story through both character's eyes. I don't think you necessarily need to write "Hermione POV" and "Fred POV" at the top of the chapter, though. It's implied by how you've written the story out. Just a suggestion, though! Do what you think gets the point across best.

All I could think about when Hermione was staring at Fred instead of studying was that he must really be good looking for her to choose him over a book! Very un-Hermione! I loved it! A grammar error I found was "quieten down" should be "quiet down". Also, I'm so happy Fred made a move with her! I wanted to dance up and down! But then my sympathy for Ron got in the way.

~Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you! Your reviews are making me really happy, knowing that someone is enjoying my story thoroughly and actually wanting to continue reading it! :)

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Review #19, by typewriterThe Prankster and The Prefect: Train Rides and Ministry Surprises

18th July 2013:
I loved that this chapter was a smidgen longer than the last. It was surprising to see Fred Weasley break down and cry over a girl, yet I found that it was a nice surprise. I figure, if he's going to let anyone see him at his most vulnerable, it would be George. They mean the world to each other - family is everything when it comes to the Weasleys. I think you really did well at portraying that by showing how Fred feels regretful and badly about having fallen for a girl that his younger brother fancies. I think that is very believable, because they are family, after all. Grammatically, this chapter was a great improvement, so excellent job! I'm excited to read a 5th year fic since this year is when the twins really get up to no good. :) I'm crossing my fingers that Hermione and him realize they're both crushing on each other very soon! I'm surprised no one around them has noticed it's mutual yet! Off to the next chapter!

~Amanda

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Review #20, by typewriterThe Prankster and The Prefect: Grimmauld Place

18th July 2013:
I think this is a cute idea. I love Fred and Hermione together, because I think he compliments her cleverness and makes her more free-spirited. I think she grounds him and makes him more reasonable. They're the perfect ying and yang match! I will say that your story isn't perfect when it comes to grammar, as much as I enjoy the plot. Minor things can be corrected with another skim over it for editing. Another thing to note is that when we start a paragraph with a number, it is always written out. So, instead of 20 it should be twenty. Also, in your third paragraph you ended it with "what George and Ginny." I assume it should be "with George and Ginny". ;) I thought it was adorably problematic that she was sitting in between the two brothers in the car. I love stories where Hermione is with Fred or George while Ron pines after her. It's the perfect love triangle since it's with brothers. So much drama! Off to the next chapter!

~Amanda

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Review #21, by typewriterOnwards! (to nothing): Onwards! (to nothing)

17th July 2013:
Roots,

This was a really powerful story that looked into a man that I have never really thought twice about. It was a great blend to go from his past, his time during the tournament, to the future. I think it was all blended nicely. For a moment I was a little confused about when the time periods were, but I don't know how you could make it clearer. I especially loved his anger over Hermione going to the ball with Viktor. I imagine, for a former Death Eater, that that was quite frustrating for him. It was a clever look inside a man who was a prejudiced traitor, and obviously cared more for his life than that of others -- regardless of who they were. Well done! It was well-written and kept me interested.

~Amanda

Author's Response: Hello Amanda!

Haha- I never really thought about Igor either before I got the House Cup prompt- he was never a major player in the books.

I'm really glad that you liked this look into who he is as a character. When writing this piece I thought that the only way to go was to write it both his past and his present- it was a way to explore why he made the choices he did through choosing select moments of his life instead of trying to cram life details into his flight.

If you have any suggestions about how to make the time periods clearer, I'm all ears. I was thinking about making the past italicized... But that would be a lot of italics, wouldn't it?

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm so glad that you liked it! :D


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Review #22, by typewriterthe present: The Past

17th July 2013:
Timeturner,

This locket business doesn't sound like it's going to end well to me! It sounds like things in Hermione's world are about to be shaken up. I do love what you did in this chapter though. I love that Juliette so wants her mother to be happy and doesn't care how she goes about making it happen. Remus' part in this chapter was heartbreaking, though. The fairy tale he told was tragic. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through life the way he has. I hope things start to look up for him!

~Amanda

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Review #23, by typewriterthe present: The Future

17th July 2013:
Timeturner,

This story is lovely. Though, I have to say I was surprised to hear that the child was Ron's when you described her as having brown hair and green eyes. In my opinion, that means that Harry was comforting Hermione in other ways than hugs. I like your Draco in this. I like how annoyed he gets at Hermione, but obviously has feelings for her. Your Hermione was very frustrating, but I love when characters are frustrating, because it means they aren't perfect. It was beautifully written and I can't wait for more!

~Amanda

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Review #24, by typewriterThe Darkest Woman: Black Woman

17th July 2013:
Roots,

This was horrifyingly brilliant! I loved how it was like a crazy, bonkers poem through the crazy, bonkers mind of Bellatrix. It was a quick read, and I loved how broken it all was. It really put me in her mind and her scattered thoughts. I could sense her mind being frayed by the dementors and her clinging to her hope in Voldemort's return. It was creepy, but lovely. I loved how you chose to write it. Well done!

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so glad that you liked this! It's quite different from what I usually write (or at least it was when I wrote this), but I can't imagine any other way of writing Bellatrix, especially from her perspective. She's a little too far gone to be able to have full-fledged thoughts, don't you think? :)

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #25, by typewriterMy Last: My Last

17th July 2013:
Roots,

That was fantastic. What a clever idea to write about Cho. She is often forgotten, at least by me. I wonder what it would be like to recover from Cedric and then Harry. She really wasn't mentioned all too much after Harry moved on to Ginny in the books. This was a brilliant look into her life, her own misfortune during Harry's. It was sad to get inside her character and see that she hadn't ever moved on, despite the years having passed. Your writing was beautiful and made me truly feel for her. I loved the pacing and the tragic tone of it. Great work!

~Amanda

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for leaving yet another lovely review!

I'm so glad that you liked this! I haven't read too many stories about Cho myself, and those that I have read tend to portray her in more of a negative light. However, she's still a very interesting character to explore because, as you said, one of her boyfriends was murdered while her other (very famous) boyfriend was present.

Thank you so much for the compliments! I'm very happy that you liked this one-shot and, once again, thank you for reading and reviewing! :D


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