Reading Reviews From Member: Chazzie
  
156 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ChazzieThe Lost Wolf: Let Down

29th November 2014:
Mary, that was fantastic!
I was really interested by the way everyone treats each other in this chapter. You can see the distrust flowing between some of them, and I liked your portrayal of Shacklebolt. It was different to how he usually comes across in fanfiction, which was refreshing.
Amal was really angry with Cassie. I felt so sad for them both, because they need to get better but shouting won't help either.
Andromedea is quite difficult to figure out. I know she is a Slytherin and so she would naturally be quite stoic and such, but I don't know how much she trusts in Cassie. I don't quite know how much I trust Cassie at the moment, because she seems to be trying far too hard to not believe she is ill. I'm a little bit worried for her.
I loved that Neffie changes colour when she feels extreme emotions. That was a brilliant idea.
Ah, the cliffhanger D: things are getting very interesting in the Wizarding world. Can't wait to see what you have planned next, and I will certainly check out your other story too.

Lottie

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for your review!

I'm glad you liked the chapter! During my incredibly long period of pause in writing I realised things were getting a bit slow, and that it was time for some action. That's why I decided to "push the bottom forward", so to say, and set this update three weeks later than the previous one. I was afraid the time skip would have been too much, I'm glad the result was relatively smooth :).

Shacklebolt... Truth be told, I never read much about him. I just grasped the general elements of his character and went along with them, trying to make him as realistic as possible. I could have invented a new character, coming to think of it, but I don't like to add too OC in a fanfic... It gets. confusing. But anyway, the important thing is that you liked his portrayal, and I'm so glad you liked him!!

Regarding Amal and Cassandra... they are a bit of a mess, aren't they? The wolf is by all means a cub, and she simply cannot deal with complicated facts and emotions. They freak her out, in the worst way possible. Cassandra is a "cub" too, no matter her constant attempts at hiding it. It's curious how different her character is from the original idea in my mind. Well, I have to say, I imagined her as a utter Mary Sue. A true soldier, an adult in everything but her age. Then I started writing, and... Here I have a teenager with the mask of a soldier plastered on her face! :) I'm glad you like her too, and yeah... You should be worried for her. But I guess you'll find out in the next chapter :P

Anyway, I'll stop ranting, otherwise I would probably end up spoiling all the new events. An LOTS of things will happen. Explanations will be given too, so... Stay tuned!

Thanks again,

Mary


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Review #2, by ChazzieSymphony: Chapter Seven

29th November 2014:
Oh my gosh, Celi.
That was the perfect ending to a perfect story. Voldemort being so arrogant that he can't see how he is just like this boy he is trying to kill. He is overconfident, and that appears to be his major downfall. I know that I know the story of how Harry was orphaned, but you put such a unique twist on it by showing Voldemort's thoughts and reactions to it all. Wow.
You were really clever with your narrator! I am very impressed. It was such a unique way of writing that was lovely to read, and you even recommend an amazing book that I may never have otherwise read. Thank you for that.
I'm glad I encouraged you a little with these reviews! I am just so pleased that you wrote it because it is truly a work of art, mon amie. Your descriptions were beautiful and your writing a pleasure to read.

Lottie

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Review #3, by ChazzieSymphony: Chapter Six

29th November 2014:
Me again :)

Okay, not Merlin or his soul. That seemed too dark for such a wizard. Gah, I don't have a clue. My appologies, Celi.
I have to say, I love anything written about Bellatrix and you have not disappointed me here. You have got her just how I imagine her, angry and confused because her sister ran away and now she has to be forced into a cage lest she do the same. It was easy to see how she would end up losing herself to insanity in Azkaban.
All of your story has been amazing but I really love this part 'Bright star, you have fallen as Lucifer fell from Heaven - a dazzling example to mortals all in the fire and terror of your fall.' It really is my favourite quote hence far.
Your description of her eyes was beautiful too. It is so haunting, and paints such a vivid picture. Undoubtedly my favourite chapter so far.

Lottie

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Review #4, by ChazzieSymphony: Chapter Five

29th November 2014:
Hello Celi!

What do I think? I think that was absolutely amazing. I have now read 'Suite Francaise' and I have to say thank you for recommending it. I was stunned by how flowwy the narrative was, and I can certainly see how it has inspired you to write this. I do also now understand your reason behind naming this 'Symphony'. It is a very well deserved title.
I'm afraid I haven't a clue who is narrating, still. This will sound ridiculous, but is it Merlin? (or perhaps his soul?)
Oh Tess. It is impossible not to feel sorry for her, and at the same time felt really conflicted because I also felt like she aught to know better. It seems like such a horrible thing to say, but I guess war really does create desperation and bring stark reality to the table.
I think you could very well be the next Nemirovsky, with fabulous writing such as this. Loved it!

Lottie

Author's Response: Hello Lottie!

First off, I am so terribly sorry about such a late response! You've been the best reviewer :) Suite Francaise is good, isn't it? It's rapidly become one of my favourite books, and so your compliment means a lot. If I can make my writing as good as a shadow of Nemirovsky's, then I'll be very happy indeed.

Merlin - interesting idea, and really, now that I think about it, not far off at all!

I had so much fun writing Tess, I think it bordered on the ridiculous. I think, in some ways that Tess is the character most inspired by Suite Francaise. Characters like Mundungus get such a bad rap in the books, and I wanted to redress the balance, because, let's face it, Tess and Mundungus are probably the characters most of us would have emulated had we been in the same situation, rather than the Golden Trio, because that is what war does to people.

Thank you so much for your review!

Celi xxx


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Review #5, by ChazzieChicks Before Broomsticks: Home Time

13th November 2014:
Wow, what a fantastic piece of writing so far! Can't wait to see what happens next, I love the characters and that you have a Dean/Seamus pairing there too. Hollie is a little bit hopeless in her love for Roxanne, it's adorable.
Loved it!
Lottie

Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much, Lottie!

Dean/Seamus is such a huge headcanon of mine. They were bffs in ALL of the books, and you can't even /tell/ me that that reunion hug in Deathly Hallows was a JUST FRIENDS thing. haha.

Hollie's so hopeless. I love her.

Thank you so much for reading and letting me know what you thought! More is on the way soon!

Julie


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Review #6, by ChazzieDivided: The Tale of the Hogwarts Founders: Chapter VI

10th November 2014:
Hi there!
This is pretty amazing so far. I love the way you have characterised everyone, and made them seem perfectly cannon. Rowena was rather regal in her mannerisms, and I like the idea of her being the one to suggest the moving staircases. Her daughter knowing that Rowena isn't truly happy and not wanting to grow up like her was a perfect touch of foreshadowing. Godric is loud and funny, noble and righteous. He always seems to strive to do what he feels has the best possible outcome, or is the right thing to do. Helga was sweet as pie, I loved the way she mothers everyone. I know she must feel horrible whenever someone is upset and she feels she could have prevented it. She really is the peacemaker here. Salazar, oh poor Salazar. You gave a brilliant reason for his mistrust of muggles and muggle borns, and I'm so sad he had to go through that. Yet at the same time he is still strong and brilliant, although it would be nice to see him with a little more ambition.
Your word choice was lovely, and brought a older feel to the story. Very excellent. I like your authors note to, as I happen to live in Scotland so it made me grin upon realising that people wouldn't know that. Alba is the Gaelic word for Scotland, and so is used even nowadays, although mostly in the Highlands and Islands :)
Great story, can't wait to read the rest!
Lottie

Author's Response: Hi Lottie! Thank you so much - I am really glad to hear that the portrayal of the founders matches canon! I wanted to have the values of their house match the most visible components of their personalities - the strengths as well as faults. Poor Salazar indeed. I think his ambition shows up a lot more in the next chapter as we are about to delve into his POV again.
Thanks for your comments on the word choice as well, I am thrilled that it gave the story an older feel. Glad you appreciated that authors note ;)
I am so happy to hear that you are enjoying the story! Thanks so much for your wonderful review!!


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Review #7, by ChazzieThis is Chemistry: SN1

10th November 2014:
Oh my gosh Em.

I can not believe you wrote a house elf love story using scientific terms :') well, I can believe it because you're you, and you are awesome, but you know. Funnily enough, I actually have Chemistry homework about this very topic, so I will probably be thinking back to this story whilst completing it.

This is quite literally my favourite story ever now.

You haven't even mentioned names or anything and yet I feel like I know everything about these house elves. Your descriptions were excellent, and I'm pretty certain that even if you didn't know much Chemistry as a reader, it would still mostly make sense.

Lottie

Author's Response: Bahaha! Lottie!

Chemistry is chemistry. ;) Do you really? Aren't reaction mechanics fun? I offer whatever help I can provide (if I can at all) about this topic, should you need it at all (you may not considering how brilliant I know you to be, nevertheless I just really want to talk to someone about reaction mechanics).

Aww, Lottie! You're too, too kind. Thank you, thank you, thank you! :D [mauls Lottie with hugs]

I didn't and you've noticed what I intended to do with that. :D And thank you for all your compliments that leave my face marginally redder than it was before. Life is a series of chemical reactions on so many scales.

Cheers,
Em


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Review #8, by ChazzieThe Internal Monologue of Annett Sinclaire Kluge: Developmental Revelations

10th November 2014:
Em! I love this. Really I do.

Annett is really quite funny and the figures of speech that she doesn't understand just make the story even better. Al was really cute. and the bits with him and FuFu were so adorable I cant even start to explain! I'm really glad they have become friends again. I didn't like it when they were arguing. The ring that Annett made for Teddy was really sweet. I loved the reason behind the lupine flowers.

I am still laughing because Scorpius knows that FuFu and Annett are one and the same and that she shared Al's bed and yeah. I'm odd.
Gah I have to go and read the other stories you have written now. Except not right now as I have class, but soon.

Much hugs,
Lottie

Author's Response: Lottie!

Gahh! Much, much thanks for reading and reviewing. You're too lovely. I am delighted to hear that you find humour in her. I figured she read science textbooks rather than too many fantasy books during her childhood and, as a result, wouldn't really understand such figures of speech. :)

I am also thrilled to hear that you like the bits with him and Fufu. They are fun to write, so I'm glad they are fun to read as well. :D

I know right? They were mad at each other for 10 whole chapters now that I think about it.

That's wonderful to hear given that it's as far as the romance goes in this one. ;) Or is it? It's all up to you to decide.

WHAT?! Scorpius knows about Fufu and Annett? Where?

I suppose I should clarify with this one, Annett, the poor girl was left on the dog bed Al left her in from last chapter. Quite sad. Bahaha! If you're odd, I guess I'm odder considering I kind of wrote it. ;)

Hope you had fun in class! And thank you, so, so much for reading and reviewing, Lottie!

Much reciprocated hugs,
Em


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Review #9, by ChazzieWake up, Rose.: The Art of Getting By

9th November 2014:
You got the third chapter up! Whoop go Joey! :D

I love the way Hugo is so protective of his big sister. He is a very typical Wesley in that respect, which was lovely to see. A lot of Next Gen stories forget how loving the Weasleys are, even though they have their differences.

Professor Spinnet being concerned was nice, although I was a little annoyed with her for not suspecting that something was surely wrong for Rose to end up in the Hospital Wing for alcohol consumption. I mean, she admits that she would expect it from her cousins but not Rose. Sigh. She ought to listen to her instincts a little more.

The Secret circle sounded fun. I loved finding out more about Rose's friends and dorm mates. This was a brilliant chapter and I'm really glad you decided to post it!

Lottie

Author's Response: Hi Lottie!

I still can't believe it took me so long to get this up. My goal is to never take such a long break ever again, BUT don't hold me to that.

Hugo is hands down my favorite character in this story and he really is a typical Weasley in a lot of ways. I couldn't wait to get to this chapter so that I could write him, honestly.

Professor Spinnet means well, but she's a little oblivious. I thought about giving her Dumbledore-like instincts, but I decided that it'd be more fun for no one to catch onto what really happened. At least for the time being.

The Secret Circle was kind of a Convenient Plot Device here, but I thought it was okay because Demi totally made it clear that it's purpose was to coerce Rose to tell her what happened. In my head, they have those whenever someone needs convincing to spill something. Kind of like - we all told our secrets, now it's your turn.

I'm so glad you liked the chapter! Thank you for stopping by to review, it means so much!


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Review #10, by Chazzieshe's thunderstorms: she's thunderstorms

9th November 2014:
Oh wow. That is lovely, although a little heartbreaking at the end. You have painted such a vivid picture of Luna (I think?) without explicitly stating the two characters here. I think this is even more amazing because of how short this is. And the sections are equally proportioned into four pieces, which is what makes it really interesting. Some of the word choice and sentence structure was amazing: 'she yearns for the taste of adventure' was a particular high point for me.
Really loved this!
Lottie

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Review #11, by ChazzieAnywhere: November, 1981 - Safe

29th October 2014:
Hi Sam! Chazzie here for the Slytherin Review Swap.
That was both a terrifying and thrilling story. I love reading about Bellatrix, and your version of her was amazing. You still stayed within canon doing this, which is really impressive. I like to think that Bellatrix wasn't quite so unstable prior to Azkaban as she is afterwards, in the books, and you've really caught that here. I did wonder near the start if the green eyes made Loren related to Lily, and thus Harry. In a way it made me a little bit happy to think about that because it meant that Harry wasn't quite so alone, he still has family who care about him. I would love to see a sequel to this, if you ever get the time :)
Happy Halloween!
Lottie

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Review #12, by ChazzieDarkened Allure: Under The Starlight Gaze

19th October 2014:
HOLY HIPPOGRIFFS! AVI! WHAT WAS THAT FOR, YOU LEAD ME INTO A SENSE OF 'OH THEY ARE GOING TO GET TOGETHER AND BE HAPPY AND STUFF' AND THEN HE PUSHES HERMIONE OFF THE TOWER? NOOO :'(

*sobs*

Okay. Breathe, Lottie, breathe.

To answer your question, yes it shocked me (in case you didn't gather from that written above) and I'm so so heartbroken. Avi, that was horrible. And yet I can see why he did it. I think that is the worst part. I am sympathising with Blaise because really he is just trying to keep himself from drowning as the water rises and the stakes get higher. He tries to keep his best friend safe for a little longer.

The final sentence about Hermione before she died was perfect but so heartbreaking and ah I don't know what to say. I had felt a sense of security because although Blaise was slightly creepy then he hadn't done anything to hurt her, and he had had plenty of times to do that if he so desired. But he didn't. So I thought it was going to be okay.

That was so brilliant Avi. Really big well done, you have killed off my heart. Joking. Ish.

Lottie

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Review #13, by ChazzieDarkened Allure: Fascination

19th October 2014:
Hey Avi!
Wow, that was amazingly scary and brilliant. I'm not quite sure what Blaise is up to. Perhaps he is just slightly creepy, but deserves a chance at redemption? I don't knows what I do know is that you write fantastically. There is so much mystery and questions that plague me. I'm really excited to read the next chapter though! Blaise has really been watching her closely. That sound very stalkerish but I don't know how else to put it. I think I do want to read more Blaise/Hermione pairings now, because you have done such a brilliant job of this!
Your use of word choice is excellent. It all adds to the darkness that surrounds the story, and the way Blaise seems so polite even as he confuses her. And no wonder she is surprised. After all, what would a friend (or companion, as Blaise prefers) of Draco Malfoy be going talking to her after curfew in the library?
Okay, I'm off to read the rest now. I don't think I can wait any longer!
Lottie

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Review #14, by ChazzieThestrals: Hugo

19th October 2014:
Wow. Just wow. That was really amazing. I loved the way you did first person, second person, and third person in accordance to the chapter number ;) it was really brilliant. So many people wrote about Thestrals during the House Cup, and yet each story is so unique and fantastic. I don't think I'll ever get tired of reading the different takes on these creatures. These chapters were so sad and yet so beautiful. I really congratulate you, especially given that you used so few words.
Super job of this!
Lottie

Author's Response: Thank you! I had a lot of fun with the persons - like it was an inside joke I had with myself :P A lot of people did write about the thestrals, I think because they're the most obviously misunderstood animals in canon. But there are some really great stories out there about them. Thank you for your lovely review :)

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Review #15, by ChazzieThe Lady and the Friar: laughter like bells

16th October 2014:
Hi teh
I'm very sorry for being a bad person and forgetting to rate my link. I won't do it again, promise.
And so, I'm here to say sorry with a review.
What a brilliant story. You captured so much here, especially the way religion was such a large part of Hogwarts in that era. It's quite odd to think about, because magic and religion are so closely tied together in some ways, and yet they also are pole opposites in others. Still, you have made it work perfectly. I loved Brother Tuck, although it was only as I started writing this that I realised he is the Fat Friar. He was just so jolly and loud, he seemed like the sort of person you can't help but love. Helena was very aloof and you foreshadowed excellently the way she appears in cannon as a ghost. The Barron seemed to have a very subtly creepiness about him too. I love the way you've included them all in the story, and it's a shame that there is not more! Although I appreciate there is a word count limit.your descriptions were amazing, really vivid to read.
Again, my apologies,
Lottie

Author's Response: Hiya Lottie,

Awww, thank you for this absolutely lovely review! ♥ And don't worry about the link; almost everyone has forgotten at least once. :) It's a very minor infraction, but it's my job as a mod to remind y'all, so honestly, don't feel too bad!

Thanks for picking this little story of mine to review! It's my only Founders Era fic, and I really did enjoy writing these characters, and to evoke that atmosphere of magic and religion. If I have time (haha, I don't think so), someday I would love to expand on this fic. Brother Tuck was the most fun to write. He's a neat contrast to Helena, who's a bit sullen. And yeah, the baron is creepy, isn't he?

I'm glad you like the descriptive bits. :)

Once again, thank you, and really, don't worry too much. *hugs*

-teh


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Review #16, by Chazzienotes on freefalling.: sunbeams

14th October 2014:
THAT IS THE MOST ADORABLE THING EVER RIGHT HERE.

*cries*

Maia that is so gorgeous. I love you for writing this. I want Scorpius to get raised by Parvati and Astoria BECAUSE IT IS JUST SO DAMN CUTE. Astoria deserves someone who loves her, not an idiot who is so stuck in his pureblooded ways that he doesn't even care about his son. Parvati is so sweet and lovely and gah. Your descriptions and characterisations were spot on. You write such amazing stories. When one of your own fictions gets published I hope you tell me so I can buy it ;)

Incase that made no sense whatsoever, I really loved your story. Thank you for writing it.
Lottie.

Author's Response: AH oh my god you are way too sweet ♥ I love that you loved it! I am totally forcing myself not to write a sequel about them raising scorp together because it would be SO CUTE. i have never written astoria or parvati before and it was super fun so i'm so glad you liked them both and them together!

i have a couple of things published on amazon but they're both terrible ;) if i ever publish something properly i will be bragging all over the hills, don't worry! but i highly doubt that'll happen ;P

thank you so much for this amazingly sweet review! i really wish we could do emojis in review responses bc you make me all blushy-hearts-face

~Maia


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Review #17, by Chazziehow i wonder (what you are): one

14th October 2014:
Hey Lisa!
Wow. This is amazing. I've never really thought about Ginny liking Fleur before but it makes so much sense. Congratulations, you have introduced me to one of my new favourite head cannons. Ginny was seemingly very surly and grumpy, because she felt so confused by everything she was feeling. My heart broke for her :'(
Brilliant story!
Lottie

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Review #18, by ChazzieKnight Takes Queen: King

14th October 2014:
Hey Aph! :)
That was an amazingly written little story. Your prose is so poetic and lovely, it really is a pleasure to read. The second person worked really well throughout. I loved the development of Rowena through each of the chapters, from a young lady unsure to where her place in the world is, to seeing the memories of her as a little girl who feared she was the product of the devil, to a woman who has accepted herself and her magic. It is amazing. Her insecurity is really prominent in the first and second chapters, but in the third one she seems slightly more at peace. She has a family that has been forged on her own terms, not on someone else's.

The first chapter was amazing. Throughout the entire story we see Rowena's thirst for knowledge and the lengths she will go to achieve it. The merman too, he has this need to know things. Your description of him was brilliant and thrilling. You use such a variety of rich words there. I love the lake (I'm assuming it is the lake that would later lie by Hogwarts?) and the way it plays such a central role in connecting each chapter. Rowena here, she seems really sad. Broken almost. Like she has lost something or someone perhaps? I don't know. But I really like it anyway.

In chapter two, my favourite part is where Rowena has the idea for Hogwarts. Because she needs a sanctuary, a place to feel at home, and this fits in really well with the idea of the future generations of students relating to that and finding their home in Hogwarts too. There is a really interesting idea there, with the religion part of the story. And the birds! You have both the raven to go with her name, and the eagle to go with her house. All in all, a really nice way of doing things.

This chapter was beautiful. Helga was so sweet and in character, and I love the way Rowena calls her 'sister'. It was so beautiful and sad at the same time. She is not alone whilst she lies dying, and she knows that she is loved. Again, you bring in the lake and I'm so glad you do. To die with the knowledge that you should lie forever in the shade of the sanctuary given to you by nature, and the safe place that you helped create, would be a very calming thought, I should think. You know that you will be safe. I think there is a big part of Rowena that worries about all the things that she cannot control. She cannot control when she will die. And yet she knows that once she dies she will be back under the water of the lake, and this time she won't need to come up to breathe. She can control that part. So, come the flames or clouds, her body will be preserved there for eternity.

Thank you very much for swapping with me, and giving me the opportunity to read this amazing little gem!
Lottie

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Review #19, by ChazzieYour Life, Your Love: Sink or Swim

13th October 2014:
Hi Joey!
That is a really beautiful piece of writing. I think it really comes across with the voice of your Albus. He is a poet, and his voice speaks in the way I would imagine his poetry to. You have created an entire story in so few words (I gather that is the point of it being MicroFiction) but I find it really impressive. Faith is a really cute name for his daughter, and it is very sweet given it links in with Destiny's name. I'm going to completely spoil things now though and say that when I thought 'Faith Potter' I though it with Moody's voice, with a spiel about why faith was one of the only things that people have to get them through tough times. He's limping round my head now, yelling 'Constant Vigilance!'
Anyway. Al was really sweet, especially singing Destiny's favourite song to her when he is tone deaf and everyone in her flat would surely hear him. :')
I really loved it! Big congratulations,
Lottie

Author's Response: Hey Lottie!

I'm SO happy that Albus' voice as a poet comes across. I really wanted it to be believable that this is someone who does have a way with words. I just kind of let myself loose and hoped that would translate somehow.

I love MicroFiction because it enables me to write these characters and basically get them out of my system in so few words. It's like "get in, tell a story, leave asap." It's a really good exercise because you end up only putting in the things that really matter.

Haha the link to Moody is hilarious, even if unintended! I'm so glad you liked it so much, thank you for the swap!


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Review #20, by ChazzieAlright, Alright: Alright, Alright

13th October 2014:
Hey Leigh!
That was amazing. Seriously. Emmeline was so blinded by her love for Rabastian that she didn't see his darkness. How he wanted to bring death and destruction tumbling down round them. I suppose that the way he described it though, to begin with, played with her mind and sucked her into a fantasy. Where everything was perfect, and they would have no worries. It's really rather heartbreaking that she did fall for his charm and ended up being cast away when she was no longer the adoring girl she once was. Your characterisation was brilliant. I loved the way you took Emmeline through the stages of blindness, awakening, and strength. She finally realised that he was wrong, and coming to terms with that must have been shattering. This was excellent, well done!
Lottie

Author's Response: Hi, Lottie!

Thanks so much! Emmeline is a lovely character to write and I loved writing her blinded by Rab. Thanks so much for the lovely compliments on characterization.

Thanks so so much!

-Leigh


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Review #21, by ChazzieLike Clockwork: Antiquity

13th October 2014:
Hello :)
Ooh, this looks exciting. Very dark and mysterious and fun. I love your descriptions, especially that bit at the start where she is burning. I had to keep reading: my eyes would not have lifted from the screen had I tried. The language was amazing, slightly old-fashioned and in keeping with the era and way the characters spoke. Your word choice was brilliant, and very illustrative. This looks like an excellent story so far, and I'm looking forward to reading more!
Lottie

Author's Response: Hi, Lottie!

I haven't gotten to your review but I promise I will soon.

Thanks so much! I'm glad I intrigued you and drew you in. And the old-fashioned was a challenge, and will continue to be. I'm glad you thought it was well done though!

Thanks!

-Leigh


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Review #22, by ChazzieI Am the Walrus: Old Brown Shoe

13th October 2014:
Hi there!
I adore this story, and I'm so impressed that you have managed to write a story to 'I am the Walrus' . I honestly wouldn't have thought it possible until I read this. You have done such an amazing job with the characterisation of the Rolf, in particular. He likes what he knows and isn't used to or good at lying, and yet since arriving in India he has begun to come out of his shell a bit more. You've captured Luna perfectly - odd, but not mad. I loved when she was talking to the guard about wands and identification, it was really funny, and your description of her sari and top was really vivid. Hmm. Is Kanwal actually Stubby Boardman? Or is he hiding something else? Just his wife staring pointedly at him, and various parts seem to suggest it...
I adore your authors notes, they are very entertaing to read. Can't wait to see what happens next!
Lottie

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Review #23, by ChazzieThe Foreigner: Chapter 1

13th October 2014:
Hi there!
Wow. Your first language is Spanish? In that case I am amazed. To write at this level of fluency in another language is really impressive, so well done!
I love the story line so far, and the way you've left a bit of a cliffhanger here before the next chapter. Honestly, the only thing I noticed that was a little off was 'I got scared'. In English you would usually say 'I was scared' instead. Tiny thing though.
I thought your characterisation of Nana was fantastically funny. She really was flamboyant and I liked that she was so over dramatic. It suited her, and makes her likeable to the readers. You showed Sam's love for her grandparents, which was really sweet too. Grandpa was lovely, and I liked that he seemed so amused and used to his wife's antics.
Lottie

Author's Response: Lottie from Scotland. With honor, I present you the title of First Reviewer of this story. You have my eternal gratitude.

Firstly, my fluency in English, well you can thank cable TV, movies and my English teachers. They greatly helped me. I am proud to say that if we were to speak face to face, you would think I was American or Canadian. It happened all the time whenever I traveled. Although thank you for pointing out the grammar error. You said it yourself, my first language IS Spanish, so grammar and syntax rules are highly different.

As for the characterization of the characters, I'm so glad you like it. I went through so much trouble to create them. I didn't have the tiniest clue on how to develop my OC's grandparents. It was very hard because of their status as minor characters. But I still had to portrayed in that chapter their attitudes, gestures and opinions according to their lives. Of course, the hardest to develop was OC, no doubt about it.

So Lottie, many thanks and stay tuned!




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Review #24, by ChazzieSymphony: Chapter Four

13th October 2014:
Salut Celi!
Um... I think I'll stick with my last guess for the moment. Until you tell me otherwise at least. :) I really liked the slight repetition in this chapter - from the 'I suppose I was your teacher' and through the three 'I taught you' s. It is really impressive the way you link each chapter to the next when you have such different, opposing characters in them. In this chapter I felt that the death eater's dying moments were brilliantly written. He realised how replaceable, how worthless his being was to his lord. He realises that perhaps he chose the wrong side to fight on. He had a wife and a child, but he will not be remembered as a hero. That part was sad.
Can't wait to read more! Gah, I love you for writing this. Thank you so much for writing this.
Lottie

Author's Response: Salut Lottie!

Well, if I told you... :p hopefully it'll make sense - we're not far off the grand reveal now: there are seven chapters in total. You're close, very close, and you have the right concept in thinking that the narrator is not mortal, but rather some other entity.

The idea is definitely that even though each chapter is very different, exploring the first war from different perspectives - I'll leave you to guess what the last three will be :) - they should still form a coherent whole. If you read about why Nemirovsky called 'Suite Francaise' the 'Suite Francaise', that should give you a clue as to why I called this 'Symphony'.

I found the death eater hard to write - because how do you show the complexity of such an unlikeable character without falling back on the easy 'he realised he was wrong in his beliefs'? So in the end I went with him regretting being manipulated, but as to whether on not he abandons his belief in pureblood supremacy, I think is another story entirely.

You've really encouraged me so much with this - thank you. Next chapter is in the queue, and hopefully you'll enjoy it as much, even though its perspective is very different.

Celi xxx


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Review #25, by ChazzieSymphony: Chapter Three

12th October 2014:
Hey Celi!
I've ordered the book, but it hasn't arrived yet. So I'm still making strange guesses because I have no idea. I tend to be the sort of person that will really overcomplicate everything. :) But anyway, guesses. Hmm. The angel of life and death perhaps? That might work.
The description here is gorgeous. And word choice is spot on. I loved 'ravaged' as it has the rolling sound and then quite a sharp, guttural noise. I don't know if that made sense, but what I mean is that it suggested rocks and stone everywhere, lying broken and split just like the city. I think my favourite part is the description of the giant, it's really vivid and rather terrifying.
Loved it!
Lottie

Author's Response: Hi Lottie!

Your guesses are really good - you're getting closer each time, and angel of life and death is very, very close indeed :)

I enjoyed writing this chapter a lot, because I could really let loose in terms of descriptions, because the destruction of an entire city is quite large scale, but I was slightly nervous because I was worried it was too much, so it's really nice and encouraging to hear it being appreciated!

On the word choice of 'ravaged' - I was actually looking for a way to delay the identity of the city until the very end of the sentence, so I needed an adjective that would force the reader to slow down and break the rhythm of the sentence, and I came up with ravaged. If it reinforced the whole idea of a city being destroyed, then I'm happy :)

The giant is definitely one of my favourite parts of the chapter too - the other would be the little boy with the teddy bear! The inspiration from it came from me thinking about how a giant would fight, rather than what they looked like, if that makes sense, and if it's terrifying - thank you! that was the aim :)

Thank you so much for all your encouragement!

Celi xxx


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