Reading Reviews From Member: maraudertimes
  
310 Reviews Found

Review #1, by maraudertimesThe Thing With Feathers: It sings the tune without the words

17th December 2014:
Hi! Gifting thread in the Gryffie CR here at your service!

This was really cool! I like the idea of microfiction and I think you pulled it off magnificently. The entire time I was on the edge of my metaphorical seat (currently lying on a couch :P), trying to figure out who this unnamed narrator might be. Your writing style in this was so cool, and at one point I thought Death was actually Voldemort, and that Hope might have been Lily, the way each kind of started off at either end of the spectrum, so it was amazing to see a complete turn-around in just 500 words!

The villain, Hope, was amazingly well-written. I loved how I thought it was good, that it might have been Lily's spirit protecting Harry. Never would I have thought of Hope, especially as a villain, but it really worked in this context! The fact that Hope kind of melds Harry's mind and pushes him to do things he might not have done had Hope not been there is a bit frightening but I can see it so realistically because that's what Hope does.

This was really amazing and I really enjoyed it! Kudos to you on this amazingly powerful and spectacular piece, especially considering how small it actually is!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hey Lo and thanks for this fantastic review!

I really love the idea of the gifting thread; it's such a wonderful way to show some Christmas spirit! I'm so happy you liked this kind of style and the plot. This is my first time venturing into Microfiction and it's loads of fun to write!

I was hoping to keep that element of suspense and reveal everything in the end, so I'm glad it got you thinking about who the villain could be. I think your interpretation of Hope and Lily is a really interesting thing to think about. I never really thought about it that way, but it does make a lot of sense, had I wanted Hope to be the hero in this.

I'm so glad that the idea of Hope being the villain really clicked, because it was a concept I was a little nervous about writing. I mean, Hope is always the last good thing that mankind possesses, so trying to put a negative twist on that was really daunting. I'm incredibly happy that it seemed realistic, though!

Thanks once again for this brilliant review that really brightened my afternoon!


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Review #2, by maraudertimesLying Josephine: Nice to Meet You

15th December 2014:
Well, I'm here for the first proper review. The other two were slightly erratic in nature and definitely not what I meant by reviews!

Okay, so, first things first, OMG why have I not read this before? Second things second, OMG I totally understand why people have been hounding you to keep writing because, third things third, OMG this is amazing. I'm in love with Jo, I'm in love with Fred, I'm in love with George, I'm in love with everything!

Jo is so cute and although the first two chapters captured her in a rather melancholic light, this one highlighted her awkwardness, her absolute head-over-heels "obsession" with George, and completely endeared her to me. I noticed before that Jo is quite a quiet girl, but this chapter really emphasized that. I loved how she does most of her talking in her head, only really spitting out words when absolutely necessary.

That was coupled with Fred's extreme gift for reading faces, unless Jo is just horrid at keeping her heart off her sleeve. Fred was absolutely stunning and exactly the type of prankster/people-person that was written in the books. I adored him and his childish antics! The farting chair was genius and of course the fact that Jo's love for George made him hysterical (okay, that might have been because Jo had hid behind a desk, but still) was spot on.

(This might be a slightly longer review than I'm used to because it's a slightly longer chapter.)

George was amazing. Of course, I saw him through Josephine's biased eyes, but I thought you captured him magnificently, just like with Fred. The little quip about knowing that he was going to hire the two In-Store Demonstrators but still pitting them against each other? 1. I want to see this battle go down. 2. Giving them products that don't work and smell awful if used incorrectly - genius and totally Fred/George thinking and also I want to see (although not smell) that go down. 3. I honestly want to cry over how perfect you've made the twins. He was absolutely spot on and I loved how you also incorporated the little add and how they really should have put a few more requirements. It was a really seamless was to tie the start and middle of the chapter together with someone other than the main character (although let's be real, if you can't do simple addition, maybe don't do checkout?).

The ending part where Fred, a) realizes Jo loves George, b) gets her to work for them because he wants to be entertained by this train wreck (let's be real, I totally would too), c) let's not forget thinking that the farting chair was the absolute best thing in the world, and finally d) being that absolutely sweet guy and promising not to tell George but also not to lie to him about it - absolutely genius! I loved every minute of it!

The absolute ending, when Jo kind of detailed how they continued the operation through the war, was heartbreaking. The twins livelihood, their hopes and dreams, everything was in that store, but I'm glad you wrote it like that because they *did* have to go on the run! And then the whole not starting up again because Fred died and George stopped? OMG I'm crying again *violent and grotesque sobs*. Why must you break my heart so?

I think that's the end to this exceptionally long-winded review. I thought that wouldn't take as long, but because it did I'm going to have to finish the other two reviews tomorrow. I hope the length of this one can make up for it!

Oh, and last note - thank goodness you wrote this for NaNo! Here's to hoping there's more chapters because it is amazing and you write so beautifully! If you can get this finished, or at least a few more chapters or maybe consistent updates, it wouldn't surprise me if this skyrocketed to one of the Top 10 spots!

Absolutely stellar job! Can't wait for tomorrow so I can keep reading and reviewing!
Lo :)

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Review #3, by maraudertimesLying Josephine: Promises, Promises

14th December 2014:
I know, I know - NO REVIEWS, but again, I needed to say something!

Oh be still my breaking heart, because you write so eloquently and amazing and brb, gotta go cry for a second. Be back soon to continue reading, I just need to take a moment because you make me feel all the feels.

Lo :)

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Review #4, by maraudertimesLying Josephine: Introduction: Boxes

14th December 2014:
OMG I know this is supposed to be a read-only first two chapters and then review next three, but I just had to say - holy moly, this was an intro? Way to rip my heart out and leave me craving more! I'm so flipping excited to read the rest!

Lo :)

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Review #5, by maraudertimesRiddikulus: Riddikulus

14th December 2014:
Review swap!

D'aw this was absolutely the cutest little thing. Obviously not at the start... but it was so adorable!!!

Okay, so I loved the start. Kind of sets the mood, after the Battle of Hogwarts, obviously they've been doing repairs, McGonagall is Headmistress and Winky is working there. I thought it was a boggart but I didn't know what it might manifest itself as. Boy was that crazy!

I can understand why McGonagall would believe that the students' deaths were her fault, survivor's guilt and all, and it was really refreshing to see you bring that sort of (lack of a better term I suppose) PTSD into the spotlight. Her not knowing how to make the situation amusing was definitely reminiscent of a panic/anxiety/grief-stricken attack and really played to my emotions.

After Winky helped McGonagall get out of there, it was really sweet to see McGonagall ask her to tea and then for Winky to tell her that Dumbledore would never think that McGonagall's let anyone down? *squee* So cute!

This was a really sweet one shot and I'm glad I did this review swap!
Lo :)

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Review #6, by maraudertimesMean: The First One

12th December 2014:
Review tag!

ERMAGERSH. I really love this. It's fun, it's quirky, it's already got some tension (oh no!), and of course, it's got James II who is bae. :P

Okay, so Lucy is ah-mazing! Truly! I love your version of her. She's fun, enjoys chivalry, slightly awkward, and totally my type of gal. I wonder if we can become friends so she can introduce me to her cousin. ;)

I liked the dynamic between her and her parents, it really helped set the scene for character development, especially with her father, as well as with her uncle and cousin, because it really showed how tight-knit the Weasley-Potters are! Also, her dynamic with her 'friends' and then with the Gryffindor boys were both written so perfectly and I can *feel* the tension! I wonder what's up?

Well, obviously this tension will become something more! I'm wondering if maybe something bad happened? That would suck. :( Also, I hope something happens with James. As I've said, he's kind of my favourite. :P

This was an amazing first chapter, it helped introduce the characters, their dynamics, the budding tensions, and overall I adored it! :) Amazing job!
Lo :)

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Review #7, by maraudertimesTwo Earthly Kingdoms: To Anger a God

12th December 2014:
Hi! Review swap!

Let me start out by saying that Snape is one of my least favourite people in the HP series, but one of my most favourite characters, all because of the layers upon layers of his personality and the complexity of his characterization, but lets be honest, he was a bully to Neville and other kids and he will never be redeemed in my eyes. Also I'm a hardcore Jily shipper because canon = *heart*

All that said - THIS WAS FREAKING AMAZING!!! And yes, there are three exclamation points because it deserves three exclamation points!!! I said I don't like Snape as a person, and your writing makes me dislike him more, but I mean that in the best way. You've written something from his perspective, weaseled your way into a closed off mind and exposed it for all to see, all the dirty secrets and awful thoughts, and you did so in such a beautiful and artistic way what with your interludes and the i, ii, and iiis.

I don't like Snape/Lily. I find it obsessive and I'm pretty into canon. But I love your version of it. To me it speaks of longing, wanting, craving of human emotion that he must not have gotten when he was younger and still cannot receive. (Awks, I've begun talking all smart-like because of your story :P) You wrote their (I hesitate to call it a) relationship exceptionally well and I loved it!

Snape's thoughts about how ash and fire in blood and his need for ascent to the throne, his views on him becoming a Hades type, with Lily becoming Persephone but instead she married a man of summer, his longing for Olympus, was very much a Hades kind of thing, and I liked this little tie-in to the Greek mythology. It made sense, heightened the experience, and overall was amazingly well-written!

I can't really pinpoint my exact favourite lines or my favourite parts because everything was so exquisitely written and amazingly well done. This was quite a long story but I was entranced the whole way through. You did an amazing job on this and I'm so happy I got to read this!

Absolutely stellar job!
Lo :)

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Review #8, by maraudertimesSeven: Seven is the most magical of numbers.

12th December 2014:
Hi! Review swap!

This was really cool. I've never really read a story in this kind of style before, and although I prefer the more descriptive kind (what can I say, I live for those long, beautiful romantic stares and exceptionally descriptive descriptions of flowers and the gorgeousness of Dumbledore's beard), I really really really enjoyed how much you were able to convey in just the smallest amount of words.

777 words if I'm not mistaken? Well it literally brought me through decades and I loved how it moved about almost seamlessly, but still cutting from one year to the next.

The whole James/Lily death scene made me sad, so let's not talk about it, but I loved how in that part Sirius's voice became more crazed than the rest, and also in Azkaban, it became more needy, more erratic, and you were able to convey these different times in his life with these small sentences and I commend you for that a thousand times over!

This was really cool but so much death. :( I know, totally canon (being really big on canon, I kinda can't complain :P), but you wrote it really well so now I'm kind of sad.

Great job on this, it was really interesting and you did an amazing job given the word constraint and the stylistic approach! It was really good!
Lo :)

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Review #9, by maraudertimesDobby: The Paid Elf: Dobby: The Paid Elf

12th December 2014:
Excuse e for a moment, I was listening to Sara Bareilles song I Choose You, a really sappy love song about marriage and such, and then to read this? You got me bawling!!! Literal, actual tears are happening right now.

I never really thought to think (lol that sounds weird) about how Dobby coped while searching for paid work, even though it was described in the books. The way you portrayed him was super sad and I was so freaking sad and I wanted to gather him up in my warmest, fuzziest blanket I have and cuddle with him by a fire while we both drank apple cider and petted a cat or something!

Him meeting Dumbledore was so cute! After the whole crying thing, I looked like an idiot with tears running tracks down my face yet I was laughing! You've turned me into a mad woman you have! Well, you and Sara Bareilles and dear little Dobby! He definitely was true to character and the little bows and gross sobbings and the like were really cool in that they would definitely be what Dobby would do (I don't enjoy Dobby's pain - I just like how you wrote it :P).

The end was perfect and I loved it and oh Dobby is so cute! His not wanting to have the money and the weekends off (as described in the books) was so cute and ergh, the feelings are too real!

Great job Meg, this was uber cute!!!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hey Lo! :) Thanks for doing the swap!! ♥

Aww I'm so sorry this had you bawling! I'm sure the song choice didn't really help much either haha, but still, I'm sorry! I'm thrilled that you liked it thought!

I know! Poor little Dobby! It must had been so awful for him trying to find work until he was finally hired at Hogwarts. I'm sure he was not treated kindly at all. I wanted to gather him up and cuddle with him too! I absolutely love that little elf!

Hahaha I'm sorry! I'm sure you didn't look like a mad woman at all! :D Dobby was harder to write than I thought he would be, to be honest. So it's really great to hear you enjoyed how I wrote him.

Eep! Thank you!! I'm so happy you liked it!!

Thank you for this review and for doing the swap! And again, I'm sorry that I made you cry!! ♥

xoxo Meg


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Review #10, by maraudertimesFear and Loathing in Branson: Around the World, Wizarding Style

12th December 2014:
Okay, so I just started reading for the Gryffie Gift the Person Above of You or whatever and - "No Nargles were harmed during the writing of this story." Okay, you're cracking me up before it really starts! :P

Anyways... On to the actual review!!!

OMG Neville! I haven't read about him in a while! I really loved this! Neville seems the same but so different! The whole him being inebriated and not really realizing that he was actually telling this random muggle Rick all these secrets was really relatable (?) in that I could totally see that happening. Not really relatable, but you know the word, yeah? I don't... I've been doing calculus all day... *sigh*

I normally don't get behind Luna/Neville ships because I'm very big on canon and also other reasons, but your characters were so cute *squees* I thought Neville's reaction to Luna's... ah... needs (?) was hilarious, especially since he's the kind of guy to just sit down and snuggle while watching a game of Quidditch or something herbology related. :P

The end was really great, with Luna showing up and being her dreamy self. The whole description of her was amazingly spot-on and I could really imagine her! It's strange, but I really, honestly, truly saw her in my mind's eye. I don't know why, but your description of her was perfect! And then what she did to save Neville the trouble of the Ministry and such by Obliviating the bar patrons was really well written and I can definitely see that happen - especially because of the whole Statute of Secrecy and what not!

The ending where he doesn't remember anything was absolutely hilarious! I loved the whole concept and the fact that everyone is a bit disoriented after Neville and Luna leave them slightly worse for wear because I feel like it's really well written and definitely believable.

This was a great little story and I'm glad I got the chance to read it! Amazing job!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hi! And thank you for the gift!

Neville's a little older, a little more world-weary and a lot more cautious around dreamy, blond witches after his experience. I'm glad that you saw similarities with how you remember him. I can't think of the right word, either, but I get what you're saying.

I always like to imagine that Neville and Luna gave it a shot after the war and things just didn't work out between them. There were no hard feelings, they stayed friends. Perhaps the difference in libidos was part of the reason why? ;)

I'm tickled pink that you could visualize her like that. She's pretty intimidating to write. Even when I'm writing her, I never feel like I know everything that's going on inside her head.

Rick will definitely recall this visit to Branson as the time that he had one too many in the bar. Because he won't remember anything else that happened there.

I'm really happy you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #11, by maraudertimesSeek and Chase: Return to Hogwarts (Lily)

11th December 2014:
Ohmigoodness I completely forgot to redo this, I'd written a review late at night and it crashed on me so I saved this chapter so I could review it later and I never got back to it - I AM SO SORRY!!!

Okay, so this chapter was really cool. You introduced your characters, you introduced Jacob *wiggles eyebrows while giving knowing look*, you didn't really introduce a problem (unless Jacob is, in that case you did) and you made me laugh (but really, I would kick my trunk down some stairs too if I had to do that!).

Lily seems quite down-to-earth, if somewhat strange. She seems very headstrong to me, contrasting against the typical bookworms, but it's fresh and new and I haven't really read any characters like her, so I like it. Her relationship with Sagitta (cool name by the way) is really funny, again strange, but the dynamic between the two is really good and I thought their dialogue was well done.

I wonder where the other prefects are? I guess perhaps that's part of your introduction to the problem! :P

I wouldn't consider Jacob a dark wizard quite yet, although for Lily to think so just because she fancies him is a little bit funny, but the whole Canada thing is a bit strange (well, not Canada - go poutine, beavertails, and me!), but I'd be interested in hearing about his past, especially his schooling and experiences there and how they matched up with the ones he'll experience at Hogwarts.

Aaah! McGonagall! I see her as the Headmaster too during those times! :) She is amazing and although she isn't as... eloquent (?) as an older McGonagall seems to me, that is totally my interpretation and your version of her is quite good as well! :)

Great job!
Lo :)

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Review #12, by maraudertimesTunnel Vision: Letters in the Dark

26th November 2014:
Hiya! Really late review swap, so very sorry!!!

This was super cool! You intertwined allusions to PTSD and the giddiness of a relatively new relationship and the fear/uncomfortableness of coming out to your parents *all in one chapter*!!! It was really well written.

Starting with the mention of PTSD, I think you really portrayed the adults well in that no one gets out of war unscathed. The little mentions of reunions always starting out well but ending in an almost state of disaster really rung true as well. And the bit about Ron and the 'don't touch her' was really sad too, but all together, this sadness really lent itself to the story, so kudos!

The new relationship between Amy and Rose (well, relatively), is so cute and they seem so complementary of each other. Rose's inability to stop smiling at Amy's letter was a cute little detail. One CC about the chapter is that at one point you switched up their characters, calling Rose Amy when she sends the letter, although they do seem very similar so it makes sense for there to be that mistake.

On that note, the only other CC is that at one point you jump from one point to Rose's room, but there's no real transition. "The rest of the room was the same." That sentence kind of threw me off and I had to reread that section.

Okay, onto the coming out bit! I'm so nervous but I think it will go well! Hermione is obviously very open-minded (excuse me, SPEW anyone?), and although Ron is a bit teaspoon-esque in his emotional capacity, I don't think he'd ever let anything come between him and his daughter. Here's to hoping though!

In short, great job, this was a really cool chapter and I'm so glad I did this review swap with you!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hi Lo! Thanks for the swap. :)

I didn't really even notice it to be honest until you pointed it out! PTSD related stuff is just my headcannon but re-reading it I see there it is quite heavy. :P

I know! I was so annoyed when I read that after submitting and really do need to edit that out. Thanks for pointing it out though. :P

I see what you mean! Hopefully everything turns out ok...

Fin


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Review #13, by maraudertimesTwo: A Perfect Blend: Blended Christmas

25th November 2014:
Aw!!! This is so cute!!! I love me some ScoRose!

So hey! Here for the review swap! This was so cute, as I said, I love ScoRose and I love Christmas too, so this was super cool!

I really loved how you switched from Rose's point of view to Scorpius's all throughout the story. Each of their characters was really well developed in the small amount of text you gave each to explain their versions of Christmas, and I think you wrote it really well in the fact that even though this story wasn't very long, it still had so many distinct settings and timings.

Rose and Scorpius are just polar opposites in terms of upbringing, but I love that both of them come together in this middle ground and are kind of quiet together, but that both of them can appreciate what the other has (arguably less so with Scorpius, but I hope you understand what I mean).

In the last scene (my favourite btw), I really wanted to see Charlie! You set it up so well and he's one of my favourite minor characters, but I guess I'll just have to deal with it. :P It was cute how well you wrote Ron and he's very territorial-like behaviour. Very Ron-esque. I loved how Rose seemed to notice how quiet Scorpius was, but it was so cute that he just adored her family and the entire atmosphere.

The entire thing just made me gah with happiness. ScoRose is one of my absolute favourite pairings and you did them so much justice. Absolutely phenomenal job!
Lo :)

P.S. Thanks for the review swap! It was tons of fun!

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Review #14, by maraudertimesEfflorescence : The 1st of September

17th October 2014:
Hi! Review swap!

Okay, so this is your first fic, so I'm going to give you some advice. Don't hit the enter bar after every sentence. I don't mean that everything that isn't a character talking should be in huge paragraphs, but make paragraphs. It's very pleasing to the reader's eye and it helps keep the reader in the story.

Other wise, this is pretty good, although short. I don't know much about Ellie yet, so I would try to describe more about her (maybe what she sees in her room when she opens her eyes when her brother wakes her up?), but her parents and brother seem nice.

In terms of the chapter, it's really short, so you *could* definitely pack some extra description in it. I do like how you described her mother, and I like the little backstory about her parents, although it did seem a little... scattered to read about her mother and father meeting in one part of the chapter and learning that her father's older sister was a muggleborn in another part. Maybe if you join those two things, it might make things go smoother.

Other than that, this was really good and very interesting! Great first chapter and thanks for the swap!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for the review and advice!
I'm already fixing the line spacing, so hopefully it'll look a bit better after it's updated.
And I'll have a go at maybe adding in a bit more description and changing a few details you mentioned :)
Thank you!
xx


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Review #15, by maraudertimesDevlin Potter: Riddle and Rescue: Only Blood

17th October 2014:
Hi! Review swap!

Okay, so I read the first chapter a while ago but I'm glad to be back. Devlin is such a cutie, especially with the whole 'Lord' thing.

Okay, so the start was really cool, detailing how magical Harry is, and really shows how Geoffrey (and the rest of the werewolf kind) need to adapt to survive.

The fact that Geoffrey showed Harry and Alex the memories is scary. Imagine having to watch your child in the hands of Voldemort. Imagine now being scared that your child was actually dead after learning he was alive. And then when Geoffrey said that? I would've broken down.

This was a great chapter and thanks for the swap!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Yay, glad to see you back!! Thanks for the great review!

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Review #16, by maraudertimesMy Life In Gold: My Life In Gold

17th October 2014:
Hi!

Well this certainly does challenge the assumption that all the kids would grow up cis-gendered! I love Ciara (from now on I'm referring to her as Ciara, all right?) and everything she goes through, and I adore that all her family and friends are so supportive!

Okay so, the first part was a little scary but I totally knew that Ginny would be okay with it, because obviously it's Ginny and she's awesome! And the little dress-up drawer was so cute and I love how Lily and Ciara never grew out of it.

The part with Christina McLaggen made me sad, but that's what would happen unfortunately! I'm glad that Ciara's family stood up for her though, and during the actual ball, the fact that Scorpius called Ciara the prettiest girl there made my heart flutter and yay!

Okay, so I really love this and I like how you've taken the traditional character of Albus and given the character a twist and created Ciara, and I really hope that you write kind of an epilogue so we can see the rest of Ciara's family and friends transition, although, like Rose said, it's Ciara's transition really, no one else's.

I really liked this story, it's cute but realistic and I love Ciara (have I said that already?) Thanks for the swap, I loved reading this!
Lo :)

P.S. Sorry! This took way too long because my wifi conked out and I had to rewrite the review! So sorry!

Author's Response: Hello!

Yee! Thank you!

Yeah, there is very limited conflict in this story, and pretty much everyone is just great and supportive. I figured there was already so much media about the truly harrowing experiences many transpeople have had, I wanted to show kind of a Good Example (especially since this was a 12+ story). And there's just not enough Transgendered fluff in the world! I'm glad it still held together as a story, and engaged, even without major conflict :)

And yes Ginny is amazing! I saw the movie "Ma Vie en Rose" when I was only like 7, and I felt so bad for the little kid in that movie, because all the adults were just so mean about wanting to wear dresses, and since I was a little girl, I felt like "WELL OF COURSE, DRESSES ARE PRETTY." So yeah, super wanted to show a nice/supportive family!

Thank you so much for the review swap!
xoxo
-Roisin


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Review #17, by maraudertimesYou Are Part of Everything : Dear Prudence

28th September 2014:
Hiya! Review swap!

Okay so this made me feel all of the things! Sirius Black, well, suffice to say I love his character, but not when written like this. However, I do know that he is written like this quite a bit and I'm totally fine with that because unfortunately he would definitely do something like that.

Prudence seems like such a sweet girl and for him to do that to her is absolutely awful. However, I did love that this did make me feel really sad and I really emphasized with Prudence, so good job there.

The song lyrics and the John Green quote were basically perfect. They fit the story so well and were placed so nicely within dialogue and just the story in general and really packed a punch. When Sirius would say the song lyrics it sounded like a song, like he was serenading her, which kind of fits.

The ending was so sad and I can't believe Sirius and the other marauders would do that but I also can and ugh, feelings!!!

Needless to say, this was absolutely great. You used so much emotion and feeling and I really do love this story. Great job!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hey Lo! :)

I know! I adore Sirius, too, so writing him like this wasn't the easiest for me. I love to romanticize him, but if he truly was a "playboy" - like we so often hear - this, I think, would portray the other sides of his tendencies. But I still love him. ;)

Aww thank you! I'm sorry this made you feel sad! Although, I'm happy it did, because that was definitely what I was going for.

*squee* Thank you! I'm so happy to hear that the lyrics and the quote worked! The John Green one was easy to fit in, but The Beatles lyrics were a little bit harder, so It's really good to hear you feel that way! :D

I know. They were all so cruel. :( But, like you've said, I can definitely see them doing that. Grrr... Boys.

Thank you so much!! And thank you for doing the swap! Your awesome review truly made me smile!! ♥

xoxo Meg


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Review #18, by maraudertimesTraitorous Hearts: The Writing On the Wall

28th September 2014:
Penny! I'm back! For our review swap a while ago that neither of us kinda fulfilled, but that's okay, I'm here now!

Okay, I loved this chapter. We're finally somewhere other than that blasted room for an entire chapter (!!!) and Ginny's there (!!!) and there's girly talk, if that's what that could be called (!!!), and there's laughing at Harry bits (!!!). Needless to say, I loved this chapter!

Okay, so first, I absolutely adored how you managed to weasel in the fact about Ginny being possessed by dear old Voldie in first year and Astoria remembering Ginny's handwriting (or at least, it was familiar to her) because I thought it lent so much to the story arch and canon plot and it was just something I've never really seen mentioned before.

Then Ginny's reaction and her reasoning for it was beautiful and exactly what Ginny Weasley would say. You really do have two strong characters in this scene, but the way you've written them is flawless and both have equal say and each matter to the scene.

The part with Peeves was perfect, especially when Astoria said to always have a backup plan. That's just perfect and I really liked ho wit was Astoria "saving the day" instead of Ginny who (like a Gryffindor) didn't really think things through, she just did something impulsively. It really says something about each girls' personalities and their houses, which is really cool to see.

I also love that Astoria kind of has a friendship/connection to Ginny, because I do think (at least with the girls in your story), that after the war if both were still alive, they could bery well be great friends.

Anyways, I absolutely adored this chapter and I'm so excited for the next! Get it up soon, yeah?

Oh and I just checked the forums and you responded to my review swap for today! Hooray!

And also I loved this. Don't know if I said that yet!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Ha, at least we got around to the swap eventually ; )

I know! We left the parlor. For a *whole* chapter! Let freedom ring! And if it was Astoria's least-favorite room *before*...

We can totally call it girly talk. Ah, the laughing at Harry bits were so fun to write! So far, the story hasn't leant itself to much humor, aside from, like, irony. I enjoyed getting to break that up a little, and I'm *so* glad that you liked it, too!

Thank you! I'm glad you liked the cannon details. I think that the Voldie-related trauma probably *was* a huge factor for Ginny's development. I also think it would have really impacted her decisions in books 5-7, so it was cool to explore how that might have applied to her involvement with the D.A.

Thanks! Aw, that means a lot. I really wanted them to balance, so I tried really hard to get that right.

Yay! That is exactly what I was trying to do there! You got it! (*cue happy dance*) I really wanted to highlight the different houses and how they relate to one another. Astoria and Ginny very much belong in their respective houses, and that creates an interesting dynamic. And hey, Slytherin characteristics can be useful sometimes! Like you said, it's Astoria who saves the day!

They definitely could be! But we shall have to see...

You did say that, and thank you so much for it. This was such a lovely and encouraging review! Made my day!

--Penny



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Review #19, by maraudertimesI Am the Walrus: Coming to Take You Away

28th September 2014:
Hiya! Gryffie September Review Swap!

This was really cool! I love how you used The Beatles, Elvis Presley, and Stubby Boardman together. It really fit perfectly and I loved how you incorporated the song lyrics.

It was really cool to see Rolf in this light. I've read so many portrayals of him but never like this. I love how you brought canon characters into it as well, like the Hobgoblins and Stubby Boardman, and you fit them in really well. Luna was also a riot and I loved her little quips. I'm with Rolf on this one: I would love to just watch people have to deal with her.

The whole Rolf/Luna dynamic is also really cute. Absolutely adorable! They really do love each other! One of my favourite canon couples and you really did them justice.

The Indian couple, Kanwal and Shruthi, are really cute, and it's so nice to have a muggle in a story! I love muggles, I really do. And Kanwal is perfect, even if it is a little bit suspicious that he's so willing to drop everything and help them. Does he not have a job?

Anyways, this was a really cool idea and you executed it really well. Your characters are well developed and their dialogue is really fun to read along to. This was really fun!

Lo :)

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Review #20, by maraudertimesYear Five: Prologue (1991): Dozens of Little Televisions

28th September 2014:
Hi! Review thread from the Gryffie common room!

I really liked this. The way you set the scene by having a muggle discover magic (even if she thinks it's M16 stuff) was really unique and the fact that the protagonist (Tristan) is definitely not like normal protagonists is really cool. Everything was definitely different than anything I've ever read, and I really liked it.

The fact that you recycled canon characters is really cool and I love that attention to detail. Having to do something so involved in Harry's year seems so difficult but obviously you were up to the task and have done a fabulous job so far, and I can only assume it's great throughout the story with your eye for detail this little of a way in.

Sophie is probably who I would be if I ever discovered magic, although probably just her reaction, not what happened before that. I'd probably just write it off as technology, especially in this day and age. I'd like to see more of her but I don't think I will, although Tristan seems really interesting so I don't think that'll be a problem.

This was a really good first chapter and it's really intriguing. I've heard a lot of good things about your story so I'm interested in continuing on (if real life ever gives me a chance). This is really well written, great job!

Lo :)

Author's Response: Yee, hello! Way to revive the Gryffie review thread! I thought I'd accidentally killed it!

I'm really glad you liked that opening! I wanted to sort of start the story fresh, with, like, a brand new introduction to the wizarding world. And we never got to see mixed muggle/wizard houses in canon--so I definitely wanted to see what that would look like through a muggle's eyes.

Plus, as a dramedy, I really wanted to examine the various implications of the wizarding world, and their impact on the teenage experience--and having your partner obliviated after your First Time is kind of a horrible, devastating thought! (Also, that *must* happen from time to time. I mean: teenagers).

Writing a canon compliant story set during PhilStone was definitely a MASSIVE undertaking (all sorts of HP Wiki and Lexicon tabs just LIVED at the top of my browser while writing)--but it was also amazingly fun. I had this whole existing story framework to play around in, and all these canon characters to look at in a new way. The dramatic-irony potential was MASSIVE.

Thank you so much for dropping by with the review, and for all the kind words!

xoxo
-Roisin



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Review #21, by maraudertimesAnnabel: Annabel

23rd September 2014:
Hi! Review swap!

This was cute and sad at the same time. The only CC would be a handful of typos, but just read through and clean it up and it should be fine.

This is one of the few stories with a male Dominique and I've always kind of liked it. I can never write anything but female Dominique, but it always makes me happy to play up the French name into something more masculine.

The plot was extremely sad although I would have liked to have seen how Dominique and Annabel managed to meet and become close since it mainly centered on Annabel and Louis and how their relationship progressed, with nothing linking the fall of their relationship and the start of Annabel and Dominique's.

Overall, this was really cute, albeit sad, but good job! Glad to have done this swap!
Lo:)

Author's Response: I didn't notice the typos, I'll clean that up as soon as I get the chance. thank you for the swap, it is a sad oneshot but it's one of my favorites. I'm happy to have done the swap with you, hopefully we can swap again sometime :)

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Review #22, by maraudertimesTraitorous Hearts: A Family Affair

23rd September 2014:
Review swap! Again! I really love how I'm finally able to continue reading and reviewing this. I really like this story!

Okay, so the start was really sad, especially seeing Astoria, who is so strong and fierce, go through such extensive hardships after the incidents. The part with Tilly made me a little happier though because it always makes me feel better when families treat their house elves properly.

Meeting Felix Greengrass was a little different to say the least. I think he's a smart man but he seems to have some really bad memory problems, so I hope that gets better. I liked his comments on muggles. Although it's probably dangerous for him to think like that, I respect him a lot (even if he doesn't know that voicing those opinions could get him killed).

The final ending with Astoria and her ancestor/portrait was really touching. It showed how much she cared for her father to have Tilly hide the books instead of getting rid of them, all in order to please her father but also protect him.

I really liked this chapter and I'm still really loving the concept and characters you've created. It's really awesome and I know the next chapter will be just as awesome!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hello hello!

It *is* sad. Astoria has a lot on her plate. Like you say, she's a very strong person, and I think it's not till you see the burdens she's shouldering--besides interviews with Death Eaters--that you get to see just how strong she really is.

Felix is certainly intelligent, but he's not all there in the head. The stress of losing his wife made him really retreat into himself, and now his brain has just kind of re-wired around the things it can't cope with. He's a bit mad, but he's still a lovely person. Felix probably has the best heart of any of the Greengrasses.

I'd definitely respect Felix for what he says, and I'm happy that you do, too. Even if he hasn't grasped the dangers of the current political climate, his views would not be popular among his peers. He's brave to believe differently from them, and to be willing to voice his opinions. I'd say he isn't perfect; he's still a bit patronizing toward Muggles, though he does recognize that the innovations they've made to survive in spite of their lack of magic are quite spectacular. But still, his views are far and away better than those held by most of Pureblood society.

I'm glad you liked that part! It's a moment of growth for Astoria. Her instinct is usually to eliminate threats. This is the second time that she has been willing to deviate from that pattern for the sake of someone she cares about.

Thank you so much. I'm really happy that you're enjoying it, and a appreciate your confidence. Hopefully the next chapter *will* be just as enjoyable. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Thanks again for the swap!

--Penny


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Review #23, by maraudertimesNot Normal: {Chapter the Sixth}

23rd September 2014:
I'm back!

So I couldn't very well review the Around the World story since I've reviewed every chapter so far and there hasn't been a new one in a while (slightly judgemental eyebrow raise because it's really amazing and you should get on that, but no matter) ;) so I'm back for this chapter! Yay!

Ugh, that ghost story (lol) made me so sad. To have your significant other die in a car crash? That's awful! I do hope it's his ghost though, and not some random ghost. It would be cute if maybe he just wanted to say "I love you" or "Goodbye," that is, if Alexia would believe the whole ghost thing.

I kind of miss Regulus, although I suspect Ellie doesn't mind, especially with Albus spreading rumours about her supposed "boyfriend" (the Galileo bit was brilliant!). But he adds some not-needed comedy that I love (not-needed because everything else is already so hilarious).

The secret passageway thing was obscenely crazy! Books in a hidden storage room in a library? No way! Okay, okay, but the actual thing with the stone lion and snake and badger and eagle all coming to life (and the badger booping the snake) was priceless and really cool. It's so mysterious so now you have to just keep writing to continue with it! I need to know how this scary room with it's eternal flame will be used!

Great job, I absolutely loved it, as always! Keep going because you can't stop now!
Lo :)

Author's Response: I did think that you'd probably reviewed Around the World since I think you've basically read everything I've ever written, for which I am very thankful *hugs*

The ghost story is very sad, but also not. I want to highlight that about Ellie in the coming chapters. She deals with a lot of sad stuff, but she deals with it surprisingly well, usually by shoving it behind her sarcasm, but still. We'll see.

I miss Regulus too! He was going to be in this chapter, but then I had to delete him. That made me incredibly sad, but he just had to go. Hopefully in the next chapter, though. Because obviously Ellie needs more strife in her life!

The secret passageway scene was such a surreal thing to write, because I knew what was coming up, but I had to keep putting all these obstacles in her way. Like, it was so frustrating, because I just wanted to get to the good stuff already! I'm glad that it worked!

Thanks so much for the lovely review! It's always nice to hear from you!


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Review #24, by maraudertimesTraitorous Hearts: A Changing Tide

22nd September 2014:
Hiya, here for the review swap!

Ohmigoodness, I think Draco likes Astoria! ;) It was really cool to see that he didn't attack her straight away after she pulled the poker on him, especially since his wand was right there. He's intrigued by her and obviously wants to learn more about her and her situation.

I just absolutely love Astoria. She's such a great character. She's feisty and hard, but also so emotional and I just absolutely love this story. Ugh it's been so long since I've read it.

The end with Greyback was probably my least favourite part just because of Greyback, but I loved how Draco handled it. It just shows the power he can command because of his blood status and his position in Voldemort's (oops!) ranks. And just the fact that he lied for her and saved her from Greyback? *squee* It's a weird thing to want and a weird thing to think cute or desirable but it is. :)

And yay! Finally leaving the parlour. I'm so excited for the next one! This one was so jam-packed and hopefully I can continue reading this because I really like it! I'm always just so amazed and in awe of your writing skills. Keep it up because this is awesome!

Lo :)

Author's Response: Hey!

Ohmygoodness, I think he might ;)

Thank you so much! Like, so, SO much. That really means a lot.

Ick. Greyback. I understand the sentiment. And it's nice to see Draco putting all that arrogance to good use for once, isn't it?

Bahaha. Oops is right. I'm just gonna go hide over here, and if the Snatchers come, you never saw me, right?

It *is* a weird thing to find cute or desirable, but I'm totally on the same page. "Oh, Draco, the way you boss werewolves around is sooo dreamy. *swoons*"
...Look, some girls appreciate flowers. Some like chocolates. And some prefer to be rescued from certain death. But that's fine. It's apples and oranges, really.

Thank you so much for your kind words, Lo! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story!

--Penny


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Review #25, by maraudertimesSacrifice: Of Beginnings, Aurors, and Torn Photographs

22nd September 2014:
Hiya! Here for the review swap!

I really liked this, although the one thing that stood out to me was I kept getting the kids confused. Maybe use a family picture at the beginning to introduce them and their defining characteristics because I kept mixing them up. However, I did like their dynamics and I loved the bit with Adam, because even though we don't know what The Incident is, it does seem like a natural response for a kid to have.

I liked how the characters were all kind of similar but also not, and their reactions to the aurors were very believable, even the hug since Dean's kid is AJ's good friend.

I'm excited to see where this goes and the whole Incident thing has me intrigued. Great job with this start!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hi, Lo!

Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked my characters--I tried hard to make them similar, because they're family, yet different at the same time.

Thanks so much!

-Leigh


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