Reading Reviews From Member: maraudertimes
  
267 Reviews Found

Review #1, by maraudertimesLove and Be Loved: Hope Is Real

8th April 2014:
I'm so sorry this is late Sarah, but I'm here!

Okay, so I'm crying. I just can't deal with how beautiful this is. I read another entry for the awareness challenge, Thin, and I'm sorry, but I'm going to do the same thing I did when reviewing that and tell you why this means so much to me.

I have struggled with intense self esteem issues in the past, and I still struggle with them now. I had a friend who also had self esteem issues, but she couldn't handle it as well as I could and was nearly hospitalized at one point. My sister is going through what you've depicted Rose going through, right now.

Sarah, you have made me feel better about myself. You have made me want to love myself as much as I deserve. You have made me want to show everyone I care about that they are loved, because no matter what I think, one of them is probably hurting on the inside.

In this one-shot, you have created such dimension in Fleur, someone known to the Harry Potter community as a gorgeous girl. My sister has always been that gorgeous girl. I want to thank you for showing that even someone as striking as Fleur can develop self esteem issues so bad that she ends up doing something she later regrets, because until I found out about my sister, I didn't think that pretty girls could hate themselves. I want to thank you for showing that even those perfect girls can be hurting, because goodness knows we overlook them every day.

The words you took from To Write Love On Her Arms' "Vision" page were beautiful, and you had it structured so wonderfully, and the writing in between each quote was so perfectly worded and mastered that I felt all throughout this. You created a scene from nothing, gave me 3D glasses, and pushed me into it, where I could see everything up close and personal, and experience it for myself.

Your words are binding and although I have cried after reading some things, I have never cried for myself. "I hug you, and hold you, because for every reason you think 'I can't', I can give you a thousand for why you can." Every time I read this, I start crying, because not only have you shown us how Fleur feels, you have shown us how Rose is thinking, and how if we are ever in that situation, what we can do. And you have indirectly said this to me, and everyone reading this.

For every reason I think I can't, someone will have a thousand reasons for why I can. You have indirectly stated that to me, through beautifully crafted words and a story that has broken my heart. Thank you for this, and thank you for saying that to everyone who has read this.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, I don't even know if this is about the story anymore, but I want to assure you, it is. This story has made me feel more than almost anything I've ever read. This story is an example of what I want to be like when I get to be in the same position as Fleur. This story has made me realize that even though I will never love myself as much as I deserve, I should try *because* I deserve it.

You have taken fanfiction and made it something that could honestly save someone's life, that could help someone up when they're down. I'm sorry this isn't as coherent as it should be, and I'm sorry that I have taken so much time about me, but that is the drawbacks to the internet. I cannot stand in front of you and tell you how much this means to me, so I have to resort to rambling in a gray box that will hold words that will never express how much this one-shot has had an impact on me.

So in conclusion: this was wonderful. Everything was perfect, everything made me sad (but in a good way), and I can't tell you how much I love this. Your characters are wonderful, the end is wonderful, the writing is wonderful, everything is wonderful!

Thank you. :)

Author's Response: Don't worry about it being late, hon!

Okay, so, you made me cry, and I'm going to explain why. I have ALWAYS always always always struggled with self image. I've always had a terrible view of myself, and for a while I hated myself. I've been in some really dark places. While I was climbing out of that hole I had managed to dig myself into, I found TWLOHA, and they pulled me out.

To write a story about them, and to show what they do, was already humbling, but to recieve this review? That was more than I ever could have expected. I figured I would move people, this topic tends to, but your review. Just. Wow.

I'm so glad that you connected with everything I wrote, the way I connected with it when I wrote it. I feel like you're not telling me about you, but you're telling me about me. And that is such a gift.

Thank you for this review, I wish I could more clearly respond to this, and I wish I could explain what I mean. I simply want to say thank you for making me cry when I read your review. It was wonderful, and I'm glad you liked the story. I'm so glad you see the message in the story that I wish I could tell everyone. If I could hug you right now, I would. Think of this story as a hug.

Thank you for the review swap hon. ♥

xoxo Sarah ♥

P.S. Feel free to PM me whenever, I'm always available even for just a little "Hello"


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Review #2, by maraudertimesPerfectly Pansy: A Proper Pureblood Witch

3rd April 2014:
Hi! Review swap!

This was cool! I never really read about Pansy, but this was positively refreshing! It showed her more vile side, when she interacted with the Gryffindors and then also a little bit with her dorm mates, but I really loved how everything really came down to Draco, and she's really just a love-sick teenage girl. Also, the tidbits about her mother and that's the way she is was really nice and gave an extra dimension to Pansy's character and the story in general.

The scenes with Draco were good, my only problem would be that he seems a little bit too open with someone who isn't part of the Dark Lord's army, although considering he's a teenage boy in the army and Pansy is his girlfriend, I suppose that's to be expected. I did like the kissing her to forget, because it kind of shows that the relationship wasn't just one-sided.

The only thing I really had a problem with was that Cho Chang should not have been in Pansy's Potions class, because she's a year older than Harry and the gang and would have been in seventh year in the time you're writing in, so she wouldn't have been in a sixth year Potions class.

Other than that, this was very nicely written and it was a cute little one-shot that kind of exposed the goodness that even people portrayed as villains can express. Good job!

Lo:)

Author's Response: Hello Lo!

Thank you so much for the kind review! I really appreciate the notes. I am so embarrassed about Cho (I wish I could post that little emoticon with the smiley hiding behind the couch)! I will definitely fix that.

Also, I think you are right about Draco and I have some ideas about how to make him seem more withdrawn - and less open.

Thank you so much for doing the review swap. It was fun!

Beth


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Review #3, by maraudertimesEvolution: Ain't No Sunshine

3rd April 2014:
Hi! Review swap!

I really liked how this panned out. It was really cool to see your version of James, and James/Lily, and I've never seen it portrayed in such a way. Usually, Lily is sort of a social butterfly, if not, really sweet and nice and has tons of boys trailing after her, all of whom are only chased away by James. And James is almost always smitten with Lily from Day 1, so to see this contrast, where it was all just to tease the shy girl, is both refreshing, and horrible in the sense that they're so cruel, but it's so marauders-esque that horrible isn't bad. I hope that made sense. In short: I liked it! :)

James's mentality during the scene is really good, and although not much happened and it's pretty short, it's a good introduction and really helped set up the stage for your plot, in my opinion. You have the main characters (the other marauders) set up beautifully as James's friends, and may I say it's a delight to see Peter Pettigrew portrayed as James's friend, not suspicious friend, but honest-to-goodness friend? Kudos on that front!

Other than that, I liked how you used the house elf, because obviously the Potters had quite a bit of money, and in that day in age it would make sense for them to have a house elf, and judging from James Potter I, without Snape being around, the Potters definitely would have treated her nicely, just as you've added in, which was a nice touch (I also loved the bit about the bacon!).

In short, great introduction, even though it's a little small - sometimes less is more. It was really interesting and you've set up everything really nicely!

Great job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Thanks! You are super, leaving a review for me before I had left you one after you proposed the swap!

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and my take on some of the characters and relationships. This was literally the first chapter of fiction of any kind I had written in about four years, so it's good to hear I haven't totally lost it.

I definitely appreciate your comments about it being a little small. I have wondered about this as I have gotten deeper into the story, and I think it's one of a number of things I'll probably go back and tweak or supplement when I edit. My plan was to keep the early chapters fairly short, because I wanted to ping-pong between James and Lily's POVs and use the events of Snape's Worst Memory as a set up for the START of the titular evolution, but I think maybe they're still a bit TOO short.

On a more minor note, I'm also really glad you liked Tinka and the bacon! One of my struggles with the Marauders is humor (I never really write "humor" pieces) and that was my first crack at injecting it in this story so it's comforting to know someone thought it came off.

Thanks again!


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Review #4, by maraudertimesWho You Are: Who You Are

25th March 2014:
Hello! Sorry or being so late on this.

Okay, so I have a little checklist thingy, so I'm going to use that to structure this review. First, I think this perfectly fit the challenge, with both your use of the song and also your characters. You used the lyrics "It's okay not to be okay" perfectly, and the summary was stunning in accordance to the piece. Also, both Molly and Annalise are strong characters, one being the broken doll who is totally believable, and her thoughts are very realistic, and one being the athletic girl who is so blunt that making friends does not come easy. I loved both of them and really enjoyed how you wrote their interactions.

Everything seemed good grammatically, although while reading through with a fine-toothed comb, I did notice these:
""What do you want to do after we finish?"" While there's nothing wrong with this sentence, at first I thought Annalise meant what Molly wanted to do after dinner. I had to reread it to catch the meaning of after Hogwarts, so maybe just add 'after Hogwarts' in and you'd be golden!
"I don't want that annoying [insult] knowing about it," he says referring to Lana's younger brother. James and him did not get along very well." While this is completely okay, maybe just put Lana and her brother's last name after the insult? It's totally my opinion, but I just think that would read better?
In any case, those are the only two things I could really nit-pick at (and considering this is my challenge, I do try to nit-pick), so good job on that front! :)

Next, everything was clear, concise, and coherent. I was never confused (maybe a little question-y on the above occasion but never confused), and it flowed very well. Although the time frames jumped varyingly, you pulled it off really well and it blended together seamlessly.

Next checklist question: does it evoke emotions? Needless to say, yes it does. At the start, I couldn't get over my annoyance of Molly's mother and her needling, even if she wasn't there, and even at the end I just couldn't stand her glaring and unspoken jabs at Molly, ohmigosh CAN SHE JUST SHUT UP? Sorry, I just really don't like your version of Audrey (I mean that in the best way possible - you wrote a character who I love to hate, so great job! :P). Throughtout the story I was kind of a background Annalise, wanting to tell Molly that she's perfect without the makeup and that everything would be okay, although when Annalise actually told her, I felt a little bad for Molly, since it's a little earth shattering to hear that, but extremely proud, albeit a little bit iffy, of Annalise (iffy only because the poor girl needs more tact :P). And then the kiss! I was so happy! I thought it was masterfully written, although more on that later. Anyways, I squealed and made happy faces when that happened - it was just so gosh darn cute!

But then everything went down hill, with Molly doing all of that stuff, then everything that happened afterwards, you really painted a vivid picture. Everything was so sad but I was extremely glad that the healer was able to get Molly to open up and get her the help she needed. The ending was the cutest thing ever, although again, more on that later.

Your characterization was spot on. When I first started reading the kiss scene, I was apprehensive about how you were going to pull it off, because to me Molly wouldn't just let it happen (or more accurately, her mother's voice wouldn't let it happen), so it was an absolute delight to see that you wrote Molly freaking out about it (although not so awesome because Molly and Annalise are so cute). That part was just very well done and I was absolutely delighted to see you pull that off!

Okay, so before I end this review, I just wanted to point out some of my favourite quotes. Not really anything to do in terms of reviewing, but I thought it worth mentioning. So without further ado:

"She shouts as she throws each bottle, ignoring the yell, "Ladies do not throw things!"" I love how the whisper turned into a yell here - very consistent with how the story was developing.

""You don't realise that death doesn't just affect you it affects everyone who's even just spoken one word to you!"" I absolutely adore this line and it deserves so much recognition. You've written something so powerful in just 20 words and I commend you on it.

"You deserve better but I'm going to try and be the best you deserve, Molly Weasley."" This line just made me so happy! It's so cute and adorable and lsxufhaker. Molly and Annalise are just so gosh darn cute! :P

Okay, so the point of this lengthy review is to say: great job! I'm so honored to have this story as part of my challenge. The only thing I would change would be to maybe divide it into two chapters, just because as it stands now there are a lot of words, but even so this was an amazing piece and I loved reading it and I feel so privileged to be reviewing it, especially for a challenge I issued.

Absolutely stunning job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Hey there! Don't worry, it's taken me an age to respond!

I'm glad you think that it's matched! I was really worried with this because I tried to make it match as possible but I thought it was a bit average but reading your comments have made me smile so much! :D

I adored writing Molly and Annalise's interactions, I never planned on them having a relationship but suddenly my fingers started typing it up and I couldn't get away from it, hahaha!

Ooh, I'll add those in! Thanks for pointing it out! Sometimes you just forget not everyone can read your mind, haha!

I needed to make Audrey an evil cow even though I generally never see her like that, haha! It just needed to be that way to suit the story :p I hated her too so don't worry about it! :p

All your comments have put such a big smile on my face, thank you so much! ♥ ♥

I was going to make it in two parts but I couldn't find a place to separate it. And I thought about leaving it after the part where she tries to commit suicide but then the first chapter would have been 7,000 words and the second would be 1,000 and it would be imbalanced so I decided to just keep them as one :p I spent ages trying to work out a good spot but ah well.

Thank you so much for this absolutely amazing review and thank you for posting such a great challenge! Female power!

- Kayla :)


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Review #5, by maraudertimesLion Hearted Girl: Lion Hearted Girl

25th March 2014:
Hi! So sorry for being so late!

Okay, so I have a little checklist for the challenge, so why don't I start with that?

First, this fit the theme amazingly. I loved what you did with the song lyric and I absolutely love Ginny Weasley and I think she is one of the more well developed characters in all the literature that I've read. Next: grammar/spelling/typos! You not only wrote this magnificently, the only typo I could find was:
"You are Quidditch Captain, of course, and you find *your* calling out on the pitch as you lead your team to victory after victory." I think you just missed a 'self' at the end of 'your,' but other than that, it was flawless in that area.

It started strong and pulled me in, especially with you describing Ginny's handwriting at 11 years old spidery. I thought that was genius, considering you ended with describing her handwriting polished. It's such a small thing that I don't think I would have considered it any part of character development had I not read through this with a figurative fine-toothed comb! But it is such a big thing, showing the transition from slightly skittish first-year to mature, polished adult, and that was just amazing!

Everything was clear, concise, and coherent as well, and nothing was ambiguous or confusing, so great job on that! Your flow was impeccable. Although the time line was stretched, Ginny's age jumping years, the way you wrote it was masterful and everything bled into each other like those watercolours of sunsets. It was very nice and really helped draw me in.

Next on my checklist: did it evoke emotions? Yes. Yes it did. I loved how you started with a small and scared Ginny, because I wanted to wrap her in my arms and love her, then you transitioned to the indirect facts of Fred's death (your description of four and half brother - the half being George I assume - was simply heartbreaking), then to Ginny's thoughts of not wanting to let the war define her, which really made me think (I love to think so kudos!) about all the Wizarding War veterans who were asked to be aurors and who turned it down, such as Hermione. After that, you showed Ginny with the Harpies, and I loved how you showed why Ginny decided to go into journalism after Quidditch! Most chalk it up to her becoming pregnant with James, so this reason was mind-blowing and spectacularly fresh! I loved it. After that, the proposal was so cute, and the fact that she had to propose to him because he was stuttering too much seems very Ginny and I aw'd so much! Her tattoo and Harry's response was so cute and I gushed happiness, although I was sad to see that even then Ginny didn't believe him. The new Harpies manager made me mad, although Ginny's rebuttal was flawless and so awesome and is basically the epitome of Ginny Weasley awesomeness - great job on that, by the way, since your characterization was stunning! Then the ending made me so happy and I adored it, especially because I knew myself that Ginny was a lion-hearted girl, and even you hinted at that with saying that she ignored her victories and focused on her defeats. That part really hit me because isn't it true for a lot of people that you aspire to be something you don't realize you already are?

All in all, this was a great one-shot and I'm so glad that it is entered in my challenge and that I got the chance to read this and am now reviewing this because it truly is amazing. I should probably stop soon because this is getting to be the longest review I've ever written, but the gist of this lengthy review is: Amazing job! I loved this and how you used the challenge rules/guidelines successfully while making this superb!

Absolutely stunning job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: AH THANK YOU SO MUCH AND I APOLOGISE IF THIS RESPONSE IS RIDICULOUSLY INCOHERENT

Firstly, that's not a typo - 'find your calling' in the idiomatic sense of finding what you're "called to do" - as in "you've missed your calling" etc - but I can see how that could be confusing :)

I honestly don't know how to respond to everything else, you've been so lovely! I do love that you've picked up on those little details -I was very proud of the way the handwriting tied everything together and it's incredibly gratifying to know that someone else appreciates it. When I first started writing this, I didn't intend for it to span as many years as it did, but it seemed to fit and I enjoyed putting in my own 'headcanons' too much to stick to when she was seventeen. I always found the idea of Ginny switching careers because of pregnancy/necessity at odds with her character, and exploring the other possibilities behind it - and the passion she found for that second career - was one of my top priorities when writing her as a young woman.

I think it's easy to overlook exactly how the war, and everything that happened to her (not just her family, though that has an importance impossible to overstate) affected her and would have affected her perception of herself and her abilities, particularly the possession and subsequent loss of agency. It's subtle, but it's woven into the way she thinks for many years afterwards. I think it's also important to show that she is and always has been an incredibly strong character despite those doubts, and the two aren't mutually exclusive - she's not defined by what has happened to her - which of course fits into the reasoning behind her turning down the Auror job. It's a difficult balance to strike, acknowledging a character's experiences as potentially traumatic and very influential/formative, but also showing how they rise above those experiences to the point you sometimes forget what they've been through. I think that's Ginny's story in a nutshell, and if I've in any way done that story justice with this piece, then my work here is done.

Thank you so much for such a detailed and fantastic review, and for the challenge which inspired this!



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Review #6, by maraudertimesBrain Activity: The Zombie Lord

19th March 2014:
Hello!

So I've seen this story mentioned around the forums, but I never really went looking for it, so I'm really glad for the Blackout Battle because it led me to you and this crazy, out-of-this-world, totally AU, completely unpredictable, hilarious fic that probably shouldn't have been called Om Nom Nom Brains, but that would've made me laugh.

Writing canon characters, especially the golden trio or even the silver trio, can be really tricky and unfortunately I've seen quite a few fics where they just haven't brought the characters quite to the same level as dear J.K. Yours however was simply marvelous and I utterly loved Hermione and Ginny and how you portrayed them. So Kudos on nailing such a difficult task! :D

Then as an added bonus to the whole "canon characters are exceptionally well written" thing, your plot is so unique and so out there, but already it seems flushed out and it shows that you put a lot of thought into it! It's intriguing, exciting, adventurous, slightly humorous, and all around awesome in every single aspect.

But seriously. Why would Hermione risk something so scary as attempting to revive someone? Bad things happen when people try and do that! Example 1: well this. Harry turned into a zombie. A literally zombie. This is the best example ever as to why you shouldn't try and reanimate dead bodies. Either they won't come back to life and you'll look like a fool, or they will and try and kill/harm you. Neither seems like a good deal.

Anyways, back to the story! I liked the Next Gen characters you've got, especially how we still haven't really met them fully but I feel as if I know their personalities through your telling of their careers, how they handle grief, and small snippets of conversation. You write them and everyone else in the story excellently and it's simply wonderful!

Your description is simply awesome as well, especially the scene where Hermione is trying to revive Harry (again: BAD IDEA!). The small details about the liquids and the rest of the room really gave the scene extra dimension. I hope what the liquids were and what happened gets cleared up somewhere in the future of this fic, because I'm really curious to see what exactly happened and exactly what to avoid when attempting to reanimate a dead person. (Even though I still think it's a bad idea, can't hurt to know these things.)

Also, I really liked how you included the little facts about Harry's grandparents and how they died early, and how some speculate James might have died when Harry was young if Voldemort hadn't, you know, killed him. It's so cool to see canon information like that used in this way and I've never seen an explanation like this, so I really enjoyed it!

Okay, I haven't made much sense I don't think, or that's the sleep deprivation telling me I haven't made a lot of sense, but great job! Absolutely amazing job! Everything's so wonderfully written and just completely awesome and I adored every second of it!

Again, stunning job!
Lo:)

Gryffindor vs Slytherin Blackout Battle Review 6/6

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Review #7, by maraudertimesThe Adventures of Abigail Higgs and Potter Boy: The One Where James Knocks Me Down

19th March 2014:
Hi!

Well this certainly is different than anything I've ever read on the archives! Wizarding comic books? They sound interesting! And I'm going to guess with a title like yours, something's going to happen with James and Abigail. Something that seems decidedly exciting!

Although I do admit, the running into him thing was quasi-exciting, and the "Guess who I just ran into?" line was absolutely hilarious. :)

Anyways, I really liked your characters so far, although my favourite has to be Daryl. At this point I'm a little confused as to what I feel for Abigail and Michelle, as they don't seem like very good friends, or even nice friends to each other, but more like acquaintances who awkwardly share a train compartment sometimes, but I'm hoping to see them in a more social aspect so that I can love them more!

The interaction with James was quite funny and I liked how Abigail and he were polite, and how James was extremely apologetic. I like your version of him a lot, and Abigail seems comfortable around him, even if they are in two separate social groups in the hierarchy.

Anyways, I think I've rambled far too much and made far too little sense, but in essence I really liked this and I'm hoping that I get the time soon to come back to this and read the next seven chapters (maybe more if I'm late enough...), because I saw this during NaNo and was really intrigued and now I'm even more hooked!

Superb job!
Lo:)

Gryffindor vs Slytherin Blackout Battle Review 5/6

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Review #8, by maraudertimesLosing My Head: 1 - Authority is a problem for me.

19th March 2014:
Hello!

Well this certainly a side to Rose Weasley I have never seen before and I must say, I like it! Normally I see two extremes of Rose: one where she's perfect little miss Head Girl, and one where she definitely is not, but still manages to get Outstandings in everything. I like how you gave her the Head Girl position while letting her be a normal girl instead of a high-strung and high-maintenance girl.

Poppy... I don't know if I like her of if I think she's slightly annoying but I still admire her. I mean, she did dupe Rose Weasley, Head Girl. That has to count for something! I think I'm leaning on the side of liking her so far, and I'm excited to see where you take her character (although I hope it isn't to some secret Ravenclaw dungeons for intruders).

Scorpius Malfoy is also portrayed in a really different light here, something I also really loved. It seems fitting that the Ravenclaws would be wary of him because of his name and the Slytherins would be wary of him because of his house. The little details like that really stood out and I think they added so much dimension both to his character and the plot itself.

Well, I hope Rose doesn't quit being Head Girl, although something tells me her cousins won't help her there - they might even go so far as to push her out the door! But I do hope she finds the confidence to stand up to them and dole out punishments as necessary!

This was a really great introductory chapter and you've left me wanting more, which is the best thing you could do! I love your characters and your plot has me intrigued! Absolutely fantastic job!

Lo:)

Gryffindor vs Slytherin Blackout Battle Review 4/6

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Review #9, by maraudertimesThe Spider's Web: 1. First Day

19th March 2014:
Hello!

Ooh, I really like the premise of this story! Lily seems like such a doll and Bridget seems like such a... not a nice person, shall we say? I'm excited to see how Scorpius Malfoy fits in to all of this, especially how he and Lily's relationship progresses. Will they not like each other at first? Will they never like each other? Will they remain platonic friends?

Anyways, other than that, there were *so* many amazing moments in this. This may seem a little strange, but I adored how you said that Lily's hair was wet at the nape of her neck, because you told me (the reader) that she was nervous, but you didn't actually *tell* me. It was very discreet and subtle and I really like those moments.

I also love how Lily is nervous because she thinks people will believe she got the job because of who her father is - a very decent reason to worry, especially since it seems they do (Bridget is still a cow though). It really shows dimension with the characters and the plot line and I really loved that little detail.

Oh I loved the ending with all her cousins! I think my favourite is Lucy, although I do appreciate Rose's levelheadedness. The interactions between all of them was spectacular though, and it really showed how tight-knit the Weasley/Potter family is, which I really loved to see!

Absolutely phenomenal job! This was really great and hopefully I can come back to this ASAP!

Lo:)

Gryffindor vs Slytherin Blackout Battle Review 3/6

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Review #10, by maraudertimesOne Day: One Day

19th March 2014:
Hello!

Oh goodness, this was both frustrating and awesome at the same time! Awesome because Glynnis is such a sweetie and way to go her for being a second year girl and beating out the competition! Obviously, the frustration part cam from Darwin being horrible and Dunbar being too thick to realize or too prejudiced to care.

Anyways, this was really cool and although I hated the outcome of the trials, reading about them was super fun! Glynnis is obviously a phenomenal flyer and an incredible seeker, although I guess you knew that. :P

Okay, so I had no idea who Glynnis Griffiths was before this, so I may have googled her, so now that I do, I really loved how you included little tidbits about her future that would eventually come true, such as the being the seeker for the Holyhead Harpies and then winning a seven day match with a spectacular catch. She definitely will be a Quidditch legend!

Great job, I loved reading this, especially because I got to know a canon character I had never heard of before, but I quickly began to love her and the raw awesomeness she has, as well as her formidable talents! Great job!

Lo:)

Gryffindor vs Slytherin Blackout Battle Review 2/6

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Review #11, by maraudertimesRedemption: Redemption

19th March 2014:
Hello!

Wow, I've never read anything like this before and I must say I'm impressed. Everything was really well written and the emotions were raw and real, although I guess coming back as a ghost isn't all that real. But the guilt definitely felt powerful in the sense that Victoire had witnessed a murder and done nothing to stop it.

I think it's a little sad that after she turned Teddy down she fled. Maybe if she had stayed they could have worked things out? Although I guess this Victoire *was* a coward. *Sigh* Oh well. At least Victoire 2.0 seems to be stepping up to the plate - by the way, great character development! It was seamless and definitely believable!

As for the ending, it was really sad that Teddy seemed hopeful when he saw Victoire's ghost. Obviously he still has feelings for her, but I can see why he would have wanted to move on. Although the fact that Victoire never got the chance to move on kind of stings. (I haven't mentioned this, but Victoire/Teddy is one of my favourite ships). Anyways, I did like how Victoire decided that she would love herself, since I think that's sound advice to anyone and I adored that you let her accept love in that fashion, without it being from a significant other.

The only thing I noticed were a few spelling mistakes such as:

"They'd wanted information and access to the Ministry, something she'd has as the Junior Undersecretary."
Have not has?

"Ghost, they say, remain on this earth because they have a strong tie to it, unfinished business, things like that."
Should that be ghosts as in several?

"They'd think I died a hero, trying to get help for the poor girl who's name I couldn't remember."
I think it would be whose not who's.

But honestly, those were the only things I found even worthy of any sort of CC and it's sort of nit-picking anyways. Seriously, your characterization was amazing (I loved Victoire's honesty when it came to her flaws) and the description was great! The scene was heartbreaking but in the good way. :)

Great job! I really liked this!
Lo:)

Gryffindor vs Slytherin Blackout Battle Review 1/6

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Review #12, by maraudertimesHow I Killed my Lover -or - Why You should Never Love a Werewolf: Not the Dcor

15th March 2014:
Hiya Rose! CR2!

Goodness me, this chapter was just full of awesome! First, I absolutely loved the little revenge that Tonks and Sirius exacted on Remus. It just seems like something a member of the Black family would do! Also, I utterly loved the undergarment bit. Although, I would have liked to read about what Tonks's reaction would have been to Remus in blue lace. :P

The friend date was so cute! Ice cream is definitely a Tonks thing! Lily and Remus? Well I have to say, that's not something I've ever really thought of, but I guess anything is better than Farah (*slightly evil but innocent grin*).

Ooh! Dawlish is a creep! I'm so glad Tonks punched him! Three points to her! :)

The ending was so sweet and so cute and I can't believe Remus had that planned out for weeks! :P He's just such a darling!

The literally ending was so lovely and romantic, and I kind of, sort of loved it. :)

This was a great chapter Rose and I'm so excited to read the rest!
Lo:)

P.S. My CRs will end *exactly* on the last chapter! How cool is that? (sorry, but I like when things work out like that :P)

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Review #13, by maraudertimesHow I Killed my Lover -or - Why You should Never Love a Werewolf: Underhanded and Overexposed

15th March 2014:
Rose! I have come for the Challenge Reviews! They'll be called CRs, alright? So, CR1.

Oh my goodness, can I just say that I quite literally laughed out loud when I saw toomanycurls? Goodness gracious Rose! I'm quite glad I took a break from reviewing your stories (please don't be mad), since I've forgotten quite a bit of it and it's so much fun to return and h ave things that are utterly new awaiting for me. :D

Okay, to the rest of the chapter, it was so sad that Sirius was put on house arrest, although I understand why. But his reaction was just so heartbreaking. :(

But I guess he did find something else to preoccupy himself with. I'm going to say it's a blessing that Tonks took those magazines because honestly, he really should not be that dedicated to them. *shudder*

Ooh, a Tonks and Remus moment, a Tonks and Remus moment! They are so cute together!

I don't know whether I should be happy about Remus's ability to pull pranks via other people, or slightly concerned, given that it shows a definite marauder side to him, but also seems quite childish in that he's pulling pranks. Nah, I've decided I love it. :)

Ergh, the ending was hilarious, although I hope Remus bridges the canyon soon!

Lo:)

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Review #14, by maraudertimesGuilt : Guilt

15th March 2014:
Hello!

Well what do you know. I honestly don't know how to put how awesome, terrifying, sad, crazy, amazing, etc. this story is. Other than how I just put it of course.

Scorpius is one of my favourite Next Gen characters because there is so much to do with him in terms of redemption or mirroring his family's past, so to see a little nine year old Scorpius *burdened* by his family's past is honestly so sad and heartbreaking. The fact that the ghosts' guilt is thrust upon him seems unfair, although for a nine year old to see them in the first place is actually unfair.

I loved the little mentions of canon characters, such as his mother bringing happiness to the house, considering it wasn't hers to start with, and his grandfather, Lucius, who I assume was the ghost at his bed the night before his grandmother was crying, so I'm also going to assume he had died that night in Azkaban. If my guessing is correct, along with the previous thing, I cannot believe how utterly magnificently strategic you wrote that, because the little hints gave so much and made this story so much more.

At the end, it was so sad, but very true, how Scorpius would want to burn down the house. It reminds me slightly of mental illness, where the person who is ill will do anything to stop the voices, although in this case I guess the ghosts. It's just truly frightening that such a thing would happen to a nine year old.

I must say, I've never read Edgar Allen Poe, but I've heard of his works and I think you utterly nailed the challenge. It's creepy and horrifying, but amazing and I utterly love it.

Great job! This was amazing!
Lo:)

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Author's Response: Hello! :)

Ah, thank you so much! :D This review was so wonderful and made me really happy.

I agree about Scorpius! He's quite interesting in that he has this dark past, and has a decision to make about whether he's going to follow in his ancestors' footsteps or be a better guy. I agree, it's completely unfair, and all the more sad for it in my opinion. :( I felt really horrible for doing this to him.

I'm glad you liked the canon mentions! :) I love Astoria as I've written her in other stories so even though this is a different head-canon, I wanted to make her a positive figure. Your assumption about Lucius is correct! :) I'm glad you liked how it was more hinted at than explicitly stated - as Scorpius was quite confused and seeing everything in flashes and blurs it felt right to let the reader fill in the blanks and clues.

I imagined this in terms of mental illness as well, or from how I've seen it portrayed in Poe and others. Another equally violent option might have been for Scorpius to wish to go blind so he wouldn't have to see the ghosts, but that was a little dark even for this. :P

I'm so pleased you liked this! :) And found it creepy... that's just what I was hoping for, and it was so much fun to write in that way.

Thank you so much for the lovely review! :D I really appreciate it!


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Review #15, by maraudertimesA Dare's a Dare: A Dare's a Dare

14th March 2014:
Hello! Once more! How are you by the way? :)

Oh goodness. This one-shot is just filled with face-palm moments.

First, James, what were you thinking? That's the worst dare in the history of dares. At least you've got a spot on characterization of someone whose name is James Sirius though. I still want to smack him on the head, however.

Then you have Albus. Goodness Albus, *anything* James would have done would have been better then actually going through with that! And to drag Scorpius along? And Scorpius, provoking him into doing it in the first place? My goodness, at least it's good to k now teenage boys will be teenage boys, no matter what era, and no matter what family.

The one shining beacon in this one-shot was Rose. Obviously it's the Weasley women who know what to do in ANY situation. I loved the little quip at the end about how if you want to survive you always listen to Rose. Goodness, if Albus wants to survive, he should listen to anyone other than James! But Rose was awesome. I loved how she's got the Hermione morals/intelligence, but enough Ron in her that she's good enough friends with Al, James, and Scorpius that she knew about the dare beforehand.

Spectacular job, you handled the topic of selling pro-Voldemort t-shirts amazingly, in a humorous and witty way. Your writing style never ceases to disappoint and I honestly adore everything about this!

Superb job!
Lo:)

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Author's Response: Hello!

You know, I didn't think people were still reading this one-shot. It's just so... random. :P

Haha! James obviously wasn't thinking; he lacks the ability to be serious. It's like a sickness really. It's so much fun to write. :P

I know, what was Albus thinking? I wrote it and yet I still can't believe they would actually do something like this. Although, I kinda think Scorpius deserves being roped in for egging them both on and thinking he wouldn't be. Karma. :P

Rose is the one to go to, she knows what to do and she knows what to say and, if it was anything else, there's enough Ron in her that she might have helped in some way. But this was too much and Albus really should have listened to her.

Thank you so much for leaving the most amazing reviews!

Sam.


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Review #16, by maraudertimesSilver Linings: Alexa: When We Have a Few too Many

14th March 2014:
Hello! Again!

Well, this certainly is awesome. As you probably know, I read Big Meanie before this, so Alexa/Albus is already something I'm kind of shipping, even if it's only after a simple one-shot, but this absolutely takes the cake and I truly and utterly love it! Squeal!

First, the fact that Dominique is a guy is just awesome, since, as you said in your AN, that isn't done very often, but I love it and the fact that Nicky's dating Kieran is just so awesome and also yay! Prospective marriage!

Then, you have Albus, who is just a sweetie pie, and I feel so bad that he didn't get the girl, but I guess that means he has more time for Alexa, so I guess it's sort of a win? Also, I love how he gets emotional when he's drunk, since all the best stories come from when a friend is an emotional drunk and does slightly stupid things. ;)

Alexa is just so awesome and I want to hug her, because I never want to grow up either! Her inner monologues and everything are also just so funny and she's probably one of my favourite OCs ever! Goodness though, the ending was just so perfect, although I wish she had enough sense to take precautions, but judging by the fact that this is a pregnancy fic, I can take a gander that no, she did not take precautions.

All in all, amazing chapter, amazing premise, amazing characters, and amazing job! 10/10
Lo:)

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Author's Response: Hey!

Albus/Alexa, as adorable kids, socially awkward and life-hating teenagers and messed up adults, are one of my favorite ships ever. I just love writing them. So, knowing that you love them, too, is pretty much the best news ever. :D

I only have a couple of stories where Nicky is a girl, because I needed the character to be, but in my headcanon Nicky is most definitely a guy. It's just how I see him, so I couldn't part with it. It would be cool if I saw it more often, so I'm glad you like that I do. :)

It's sort of a win. He doesn't see it as a win yet, but he will. ;) Haha, he's very emotional when he's drunk, it's fun to write. They do make good stories.

Aww, thank you! Alexa is awesome to write, I love her. I find it really hard to write females sometimes, I don't know why, but Alexa is just so natural. I think because she reminds me the most of me and I know me. :P

Let's guess no. :P Although, I could surprise you; I've been known to do that. ;) (But no is right.)

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #17, by maraudertimesBig Meanie: Big Meanie

14th March 2014:
Hello again!

Aw! This was so gosh darn cute and I loved it and I loved your characters and I loved how you wrote it and I loved everything about it, and just aw!

Albus was such a sweetie and I think you utterly nailed writing through his POV as a six-soon-to-be-seven year old. His mispronunciation of big words was so darling, and his frowns and how his Grandmother told him it keeps the monsters away was just adorable.

Lexi was a sweetie too, and is it just me or does she like Albus? I don't know if it's the child kind of puppy love, or just that she wants to be his friend, but she is so cute and the interactions she has with Albus are too!

Theo, I'll assume is Theodore Nott, although I could very well be wrong, but anyways, he is so nice and it was great to see how well his relationship with Albus is. And of course, the fact that he calls Lexi his angel, yet Albus still doesn't see it is absolutely adorable as well.

Goodness, this one-shot was just full of aw moments and cuteness and I utterly adored it! Amazing, spectacular job!
Lo:)

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Author's Response: Hello!

Ahh, you read Big Meanie! It's probably one of my favorite things I have ever written... and I've written a lot. :P

Albus is so adorable, I think (because I wrote him, so I'm biased). I just want to hug him all the time, even though he'd hate that unless he could smell the soap. :P

Right now, she doesn't like him or want to be his friend (well, that's what she thinks), she just wants to do as her daddy asked and her daddy asked her to get Albus out of the corner.

Yes, it's Theo Nott. He's awesome, I love him so much, I had to include him. Theo says a lot of things, including Albus being a brat, but deep down I think Albus is his favorite of Harry's family. He pulls a face when he sees the mistletoe, but really he's glad it's Albus Alexa ends up with. :P

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #18, by maraudertimesHappy: You Can't Have Everything

14th March 2014:
Hello!

Well, this was just absolutely heartbreaking! And with a title like Happy? Shame on you for leading me on! But goodness, did you lead me on. I was confused at first, because aren't Astoria and Draco supposed to be married? And then when it all came out and became clear, I literally had to go back up and reread it, just to make sure.

Oh, this was so sad, but it truly was beautiful! I utterly adored how everything was so strategically written to make the reader believe it was Daphne getting married to Draco instead of Astoria, although that only led to me believing Daphne and Draco had fallen in love. But, it truly was amazing to read and then reread, and I did love how you managed to pull that off!

At the end, I was so sad, and when Daphne talked about how she had told Blaise, and Blaise was watching her sadly, because he knew her heart must have been breaking, and there's so much implicit work that I can't stop from just going ahgh!

Anyways, this truly was amazing and I can't believe the roller coaster of emotions you put me through, nor the inner turmoil I've developed.

Absolutely stunning job! I hope you continue this one day as well.
Lo:)

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Author's Response: Hello!

Yes. Happy is what Daphne wants to be, not what she is - hence the title. I've been told before that I'm good at leading people on; there's a compliment in there, I think. :D

Haha, yeah, it was all one big master plan to get you to think that Daphne and Draco were together, then BAM, no, he's marrying her sister (as is canon). I was very happy with the way it turned out; I was afraid people would guess easily because Astoria was always in the background, but she needed to be so the actual wedding wasn't a weird surprise. :)

It was so sad to write, I had to give her Blaise, someone who knew and could help her.

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #19, by maraudertimesEmpty: I

14th March 2014:
Hi!

Well this certainly is a twist on the usual ScoRose. I quite like it though. Scorpius falling in love with the unattainable (but only due to being cousins with his best mate) Rose Weasley. I especially liked how Albus knows about Scorpius's little fancy and doesn't really comment on it, nor does he tease Scorpius about it either.

Hearing about Rose's failed relationship was heartbreaking. I could never begin to imagine the betrayal she must have felt. And for it to have been Dominique? I really despise her ex-boyfriend, and I'm glad that they broke up and that Scorpius intends to get back at him for it.

The bathroom scene was hilarious. Scorpius's stammering was really funny, especially when confronted about, ah, certain girl parts. And then when Rose left and the girls began to hit on Scorpius? I felt so bad for the girl he rejected, although considering one of her friends had the gall to do what she did to Scorpius when she left, well, maybe I don't feel so bad for her.

I really liked this chapter. Your characterization is great, your description is good, I loved the little bits of humor sprinkled here and there, and all in all it was great!

Good job!
Lo:)

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Review #20, by maraudertimesEnding It: Ending it

14th March 2014:
Hello! 'Tis moi, returning!

So I read the sequel to this first, and I came to this second, so hopefully my thoughts will make sense.

ASas;oifhc ;iquwe p;oiur lej . What?!?! I'm so hurt and confused and what is happening, aiohsflijer.

Obviously not...

Anyways, due to my reading of the sequel first, I had already begun to fall for Victoire and sympathize with her tremendously because of the betrayal she felt at the hands of her sister and Teddy. I was quite mad at both Dom and Teddy, although mostly Teddy, so reading this was kind of a roller coaster. Now I utterly despise Teddy, but I sort of have a thing for Dom where I don't hate her... If that makes sense.

I think Dom just needs to have someone to love and when she needed it most, Teddy was there. I utterly loved the flashback, because it was so cute, and reading this through Dom's POV really showed how much she cared for Teddy and absolutely loved him.

Teddy on the other hand, seems quite possessive and indecisive after reading both fics, and I don't think I like him, especially after realizing that he meant to propose to Victoire even as the affair was going on. I also think he's not right in the head, thinking that Victoire kept him sane but Dominique filled a void. If neither of them makes you feel whole, don't stick around! I know that sounds harsh, but honestly, I'm not very fond of your version of Teddy.

That's not to say I didn't like this. I think that you wrote this beautifully and although I'm not fond of the situation, you handled it masterfully and gracefully and I think the relationship between Teddy and Dominique was flushed out and well written.

Kudos and well done!
Lo:)

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Author's Response: Hey! Thanks again =)

Well I am glad you read the prequel to Betrayal as well because it shows Dom's side of the story. Both sisters are hurting equally - sometimes love makes us do crazy things. Teddy is the culprit here though, stupid boy who couldn't get his feelings straightened out.

I am glad you liked the flashback and kinda liked Dom - or at least you didn't hate her anymore as that was my aim.

Teddy is definitely possessive and indecisive. He loves both the sisters and he can't stop himself from trying to get both of them. His orphaned upbringing always made me yearn for real love, and though he got that from Harry and Andromeda and The Weasleys, he never felt like it was enough. (That's my reasoning for his characterisation here xP).

I am not fond of Teddy here either - but it had to be done. Nonetheless I am glad you liked this anyway and felt it was well-written. Thanks!


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Review #21, by maraudertimesBetrayal: The Letter

14th March 2014:
Hello! Me again!

Constructive criticism? I have one CC. It's rather big though: WHY IS THIS SO SAD?!?!?! Goodness, Teddy and Victoire are one of my favourite ships, and you kind of destroyed them. Excuse me while I cry...

Although I wasn't fond of the whole situation, because of my strange attachment to some of the characters, I do love how you pulled this off. It's absolutely heartbreaking to have Victoire find out such a horrible secret right before the wedding, but that really helped sell the sadness you obviously are trying to convey. And I did love how it was her cleaning up after Dom that lead to the discovery of the letter, because it showed that Victoire suspected nothing and that she trusted the two most important and deceiving people in her life.

Goodness, the end was just painful. I'm totally on Victoire's side, don't get me wrong, but just to see one of my OTPs fall apart was maddening. However, I utterly loved how you wrote it and it was simply beautiful how Teddy seemed to be the perfect fiancee in that moment, but Victoire was standing up for herself. Female Power!

All in all, I have mixed feelings about this, but my biggest one is that you wrote this wonderfully. I can feel what the characters are feeling and I can picture each scene in my head. You did wonderfully!

Great job!
Lo:)

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Author's Response: Hey again!

Aww *hugs* I am sorry this was sad but I like sad (*evil*) xD

I am glad you liked how I wrote this. Victoire definitely didn't suspect a thing - she loved her sister and her fiancé too much.

The ending was heartbreaking but it had to be done - Victoire is a strong independent woman who couldn't accept being treated like this and get back with Teddy.

Thank you for your lovely words!


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Review #22, by maraudertimesPerfect: That is Me.: Perfect: That Is Me.

14th March 2014:
Hello!

Let me guess: Pansy Parkinson? I hope that's right, because it seemed obvious to me, but I'm not usually one for riddles...

Anyways, this was really good and I loved how I knew who the characters were, even without the names. It was a really cool concept and I think you pulled it off expertly, especially when talking about Draco, while simultaneously not saying his name.

I really liked getting into Pansy's head (although, this would be embarrassing if it weren't her), and to see how she was feeling around this particular time, especially when the Trio's story around this time has already been told, really helped round out the HP verse in a sense, and gave the war a bit more oomph, if that makes sense, as we're seeing it from both sides.

I also loved how you characterized Pansy. She is vain and haughty, and though she's described as pug-faced in the books, you've really shown how much she thought of herself by believing herself to be the most beautiful and perfect girl. I thought that was genius, especially when she believed others were jealous of her.

This was a great piece and it was surprisingly enjoyable to read, in the best way possible. I've always despised Pansy, but funnily enough, I loved reading this through her POV. So, congratulations of making me feel that way! It takes a lot of talent, I think, to be able to change the reader's mind.

Absolutely stunning job!
Lo:)

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Author's Response: Hey!

Yes, it is indeed Pansy. It is a very simple and straightforward "riddle" really xD

I am pleased you liked how I wrote this, and enjoying getting into Pansy's head. She is certainly self-centred and vain and that made it fun to write.

I am happy you liked reading this, thanks!


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Review #23, by maraudertimesVox wuod Sanctimonia; Speed Dating Entry: Cupiditas

14th March 2014:
Hiya Rumpel!

My this was fun to read. I especially liked how you tied in what was happening with witches (such as being burned at the stake) to why Salazar was not very fond of Rowena. It added a little something extra to make everything a little bit more believable.

But starting at the start, I really liked how Salazar and Godric were already friends, and how Godric is more of the leader between the two, convincing Salazar to do things his way. It really speaks to their individual personalities and really emphasized qualities that become their respective house qualities.

I absolutely loved how Salazar was quite prejudiced towards Rowena at the start, but after meeting her and knowing her for a few seconds, his opinion completely changed. Do I sense a little bit of romance in the air? :P

Yes, so I really liked this one-shot. It was so cute and sweet and so much awesome (I'm kind of into Founders at the moment)!! You did a great job and I can't believe you wrote this in such a short amount of time. Great job!

Lo:)

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Author's Response: I have been TERRIBLE at responding to reviews, but I'm doing it now (nearly a month later)!

I've discovered that Founder's is fun to write (beginning with my parody, which was naturally fun to write in itself). When my partner suggested that she'd like to try to write a Founder's fic, I was excited.

One of the things that I really wanted to emphasize on Salazar's side of the story was his friendship with Godric and his distaste for women, especially Rowena, so I'm glad that those stood out to you.

Neither my partner nor I were very confident in our ability to write a romance, so we went with romantic interest instead :D.

Thanks so much! I'm also kind of into Founders at the moment!

-Rumpel


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Review #24, by maraudertimesTear me in Two.: The One where Fred Introduces Fred.

14th March 2014:
Hello!

So this is something I have absolutely never read before. And... I kind of, sort of, love it. It's so cool how you have Fred I watching over his (slightly less cool at the moment) nephew, Fred II. And really sweet.

It's a little bit cliche that the love interest is a 'different kind of girl from all the other girls,' but I think in the situation, where her brother is the jock, Mr. Popular type, it actually works very well. Also, I don't really like Chasity's brother. Am I supposed to, because he seems like an idiot as of right now (in the best way possible!).

Also, I absolutely love James, and the way you've portrayed him is really funny, especially because if Fred were alive, I could see him arguing with James over several things, so to see a little bit of that banter even if Fred is dead is really sweet.

The only thing I could say is that I think Fred might not necessarily have kicked Peeves out, considering so many ghosts live at Hogwarts, but perhaps they sometimes get into mischief together and/or have prank wars as ghosts.

But other than that this was really cool and hopefully you'll keep writing this because I think the premise is amazing! Great job!
Lo:)

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Review #25, by maraudertimesTraitorous Hearts: The Stolen Truth

14th March 2014:
Hi again!

Goodness gracious, what are you doing to me? I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm slightly happy. Okay, I'll start at the beginning.

Wow, I love this side of Draco. He's calm, cool, collected, but he knows how to interrogate someone. He can truly read someone through body language, not just through legilimens, which I think is a really good characteristic you've given him. It adds to the investigator personality.

The fact that he figured out that Astoria's family was a weak spot was amazing, and I wish Astoria could have figured out what he was doing, but I guess you win some, you lose some.

Astoria should have learned legilimens from her mother, definitely, but also how to keep a level head. She threw herself under the bus by reacting too strongly to questions about her family, although I did quite like how the only thing that actually got her to talk (sort of) was Draco going through her mind (not that I liked that, but it shows how resilient Astoria is).

The fact that Astoria realizes that her mother was too vain to believe that legilimens would ever save her because she believed she was too good to be caught was really cool and added so much to the story. We've never actually met her mother in the story (except for those flashback type moments), but I feel that if Draco were interrogating Mrs. Greengrass, she would be quite haughty and look down on him, thinking she was better than him.

Which is a good thing, since I can imagine your characters in different settings! Kudos to you!

Anyways, this was a great chapter and I hope you update soon because this is a truly magnificent story. Great job!
Lo:)

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Author's Response: Allo!

Sigh. I, too, wish that Astoria could have caught on quicker. But she can't be entirely invulnerable, and he hit her in a place that's very hard to defend.

Draco was a bit brilliant there, wasn't he? If anything, they're well-matched opponents. Like you say, they both win some and lose some.

And I'd say Astoria keeps a level head in most cases. She *should* have known better than to react, but I think it's useful to remember that, daughter of a spy or not, she's still only 16. Not that 16 year-olds can't be brilliant and keep a cool head, because she is and she does, but there's still a part of her that's vulnerable and does have less life experience. Her family is her main weakness, which is an important thing to know.

Haha, good call on Lavinia! She'd definitely be haughty if she was in Astoria's place. She'd also probably be offended that they sent some young pup with the ink still drying on his Mark to interrogate her. Do they know who she is? No? Well that's because she's a SPY and a d*** good one, at that! So why doesn't he just enjoy a few biscuits and leave the intrigue and interrogations to the professionals, hmm?

...Now I can't stop imagining that scene, Lo ;)


I'm really glad that you enjoyed the chapter. New one should be up soon. Thanks for your thoughts--they were really fun to read!

--Penny











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