Reading Reviews From Member: maraudertimes
298 Reviews Found

Review #1, by maraudertimesEfflorescence : The 1st of September

17th October 2014:
Hi! Review swap!

Okay, so this is your first fic, so I'm going to give you some advice. Don't hit the enter bar after every sentence. I don't mean that everything that isn't a character talking should be in huge paragraphs, but make paragraphs. It's very pleasing to the reader's eye and it helps keep the reader in the story.

Other wise, this is pretty good, although short. I don't know much about Ellie yet, so I would try to describe more about her (maybe what she sees in her room when she opens her eyes when her brother wakes her up?), but her parents and brother seem nice.

In terms of the chapter, it's really short, so you *could* definitely pack some extra description in it. I do like how you described her mother, and I like the little backstory about her parents, although it did seem a little... scattered to read about her mother and father meeting in one part of the chapter and learning that her father's older sister was a muggleborn in another part. Maybe if you join those two things, it might make things go smoother.

Other than that, this was really good and very interesting! Great first chapter and thanks for the swap!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for the review and advice!
I'm already fixing the line spacing, so hopefully it'll look a bit better after it's updated.
And I'll have a go at maybe adding in a bit more description and changing a few details you mentioned :)
Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #2, by maraudertimesDevlin Potter: Riddle and Rescue: Only Blood

17th October 2014:
Hi! Review swap!

Okay, so I read the first chapter a while ago but I'm glad to be back. Devlin is such a cutie, especially with the whole 'Lord' thing.

Okay, so the start was really cool, detailing how magical Harry is, and really shows how Geoffrey (and the rest of the werewolf kind) need to adapt to survive.

The fact that Geoffrey showed Harry and Alex the memories is scary. Imagine having to watch your child in the hands of Voldemort. Imagine now being scared that your child was actually dead after learning he was alive. And then when Geoffrey said that? I would've broken down.

This was a great chapter and thanks for the swap!
Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #3, by maraudertimesMy Life In Gold: My Life In Gold

17th October 2014:

Well this certainly does challenge the assumption that all the kids would grow up cis-gendered! I love Ciara (from now on I'm referring to her as Ciara, all right?) and everything she goes through, and I adore that all her family and friends are so supportive!

Okay so, the first part was a little scary but I totally knew that Ginny would be okay with it, because obviously it's Ginny and she's awesome! And the little dress-up drawer was so cute and I love how Lily and Ciara never grew out of it.

The part with Christina McLaggen made me sad, but that's what would happen unfortunately! I'm glad that Ciara's family stood up for her though, and during the actual ball, the fact that Scorpius called Ciara the prettiest girl there made my heart flutter and yay!

Okay, so I really love this and I like how you've taken the traditional character of Albus and given the character a twist and created Ciara, and I really hope that you write kind of an epilogue so we can see the rest of Ciara's family and friends transition, although, like Rose said, it's Ciara's transition really, no one else's.

I really liked this story, it's cute but realistic and I love Ciara (have I said that already?) Thanks for the swap, I loved reading this!
Lo :)

P.S. Sorry! This took way too long because my wifi conked out and I had to rewrite the review! So sorry!

Author's Response: Hello!

Yee! Thank you!

Yeah, there is very limited conflict in this story, and pretty much everyone is just great and supportive. I figured there was already so much media about the truly harrowing experiences many transpeople have had, I wanted to show kind of a Good Example (especially since this was a 12+ story). And there's just not enough Transgendered fluff in the world! I'm glad it still held together as a story, and engaged, even without major conflict :)

And yes Ginny is amazing! I saw the movie "Ma Vie en Rose" when I was only like 7, and I felt so bad for the little kid in that movie, because all the adults were just so mean about wanting to wear dresses, and since I was a little girl, I felt like "WELL OF COURSE, DRESSES ARE PRETTY." So yeah, super wanted to show a nice/supportive family!

Thank you so much for the review swap!

 Report Review

Review #4, by maraudertimesYou Are Part of Everything : Dear Prudence

28th September 2014:
Hiya! Review swap!

Okay so this made me feel all of the things! Sirius Black, well, suffice to say I love his character, but not when written like this. However, I do know that he is written like this quite a bit and I'm totally fine with that because unfortunately he would definitely do something like that.

Prudence seems like such a sweet girl and for him to do that to her is absolutely awful. However, I did love that this did make me feel really sad and I really emphasized with Prudence, so good job there.

The song lyrics and the John Green quote were basically perfect. They fit the story so well and were placed so nicely within dialogue and just the story in general and really packed a punch. When Sirius would say the song lyrics it sounded like a song, like he was serenading her, which kind of fits.

The ending was so sad and I can't believe Sirius and the other marauders would do that but I also can and ugh, feelings!!!

Needless to say, this was absolutely great. You used so much emotion and feeling and I really do love this story. Great job!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hey Lo! :)

I know! I adore Sirius, too, so writing him like this wasn't the easiest for me. I love to romanticize him, but if he truly was a "playboy" - like we so often hear - this, I think, would portray the other sides of his tendencies. But I still love him. ;)

Aww thank you! I'm sorry this made you feel sad! Although, I'm happy it did, because that was definitely what I was going for.

*squee* Thank you! I'm so happy to hear that the lyrics and the quote worked! The John Green one was easy to fit in, but The Beatles lyrics were a little bit harder, so It's really good to hear you feel that way! :D

I know. They were all so cruel. :( But, like you've said, I can definitely see them doing that. Grrr... Boys.

Thank you so much!! And thank you for doing the swap! Your awesome review truly made me smile!! ♥

xoxo Meg

 Report Review

Review #5, by maraudertimesTraitorous Hearts: The Writing On the Wall

28th September 2014:
Penny! I'm back! For our review swap a while ago that neither of us kinda fulfilled, but that's okay, I'm here now!

Okay, I loved this chapter. We're finally somewhere other than that blasted room for an entire chapter (!!!) and Ginny's there (!!!) and there's girly talk, if that's what that could be called (!!!), and there's laughing at Harry bits (!!!). Needless to say, I loved this chapter!

Okay, so first, I absolutely adored how you managed to weasel in the fact about Ginny being possessed by dear old Voldie in first year and Astoria remembering Ginny's handwriting (or at least, it was familiar to her) because I thought it lent so much to the story arch and canon plot and it was just something I've never really seen mentioned before.

Then Ginny's reaction and her reasoning for it was beautiful and exactly what Ginny Weasley would say. You really do have two strong characters in this scene, but the way you've written them is flawless and both have equal say and each matter to the scene.

The part with Peeves was perfect, especially when Astoria said to always have a backup plan. That's just perfect and I really liked ho wit was Astoria "saving the day" instead of Ginny who (like a Gryffindor) didn't really think things through, she just did something impulsively. It really says something about each girls' personalities and their houses, which is really cool to see.

I also love that Astoria kind of has a friendship/connection to Ginny, because I do think (at least with the girls in your story), that after the war if both were still alive, they could bery well be great friends.

Anyways, I absolutely adored this chapter and I'm so excited for the next! Get it up soon, yeah?

Oh and I just checked the forums and you responded to my review swap for today! Hooray!

And also I loved this. Don't know if I said that yet!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Ha, at least we got around to the swap eventually ; )

I know! We left the parlor. For a *whole* chapter! Let freedom ring! And if it was Astoria's least-favorite room *before*...

We can totally call it girly talk. Ah, the laughing at Harry bits were so fun to write! So far, the story hasn't leant itself to much humor, aside from, like, irony. I enjoyed getting to break that up a little, and I'm *so* glad that you liked it, too!

Thank you! I'm glad you liked the cannon details. I think that the Voldie-related trauma probably *was* a huge factor for Ginny's development. I also think it would have really impacted her decisions in books 5-7, so it was cool to explore how that might have applied to her involvement with the D.A.

Thanks! Aw, that means a lot. I really wanted them to balance, so I tried really hard to get that right.

Yay! That is exactly what I was trying to do there! You got it! (*cue happy dance*) I really wanted to highlight the different houses and how they relate to one another. Astoria and Ginny very much belong in their respective houses, and that creates an interesting dynamic. And hey, Slytherin characteristics can be useful sometimes! Like you said, it's Astoria who saves the day!

They definitely could be! But we shall have to see...

You did say that, and thank you so much for it. This was such a lovely and encouraging review! Made my day!


 Report Review

Review #6, by maraudertimesI Am the Walrus: Coming to Take You Away

28th September 2014:
Hiya! Gryffie September Review Swap!

This was really cool! I love how you used The Beatles, Elvis Presley, and Stubby Boardman together. It really fit perfectly and I loved how you incorporated the song lyrics.

It was really cool to see Rolf in this light. I've read so many portrayals of him but never like this. I love how you brought canon characters into it as well, like the Hobgoblins and Stubby Boardman, and you fit them in really well. Luna was also a riot and I loved her little quips. I'm with Rolf on this one: I would love to just watch people have to deal with her.

The whole Rolf/Luna dynamic is also really cute. Absolutely adorable! They really do love each other! One of my favourite canon couples and you really did them justice.

The Indian couple, Kanwal and Shruthi, are really cute, and it's so nice to have a muggle in a story! I love muggles, I really do. And Kanwal is perfect, even if it is a little bit suspicious that he's so willing to drop everything and help them. Does he not have a job?

Anyways, this was a really cool idea and you executed it really well. Your characters are well developed and their dialogue is really fun to read along to. This was really fun!

Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #7, by maraudertimesYear Five: Dozens of Little Televisions (1991)

28th September 2014:
Hi! Review thread from the Gryffie common room!

I really liked this. The way you set the scene by having a muggle discover magic (even if she thinks it's M16 stuff) was really unique and the fact that the protagonist (Tristan) is definitely not like normal protagonists is really cool. Everything was definitely different than anything I've ever read, and I really liked it.

The fact that you recycled canon characters is really cool and I love that attention to detail. Having to do something so involved in Harry's year seems so difficult but obviously you were up to the task and have done a fabulous job so far, and I can only assume it's great throughout the story with your eye for detail this little of a way in.

Sophie is probably who I would be if I ever discovered magic, although probably just her reaction, not what happened before that. I'd probably just write it off as technology, especially in this day and age. I'd like to see more of her but I don't think I will, although Tristan seems really interesting so I don't think that'll be a problem.

This was a really good first chapter and it's really intriguing. I've heard a lot of good things about your story so I'm interested in continuing on (if real life ever gives me a chance). This is really well written, great job!

Lo :)

Author's Response: Yee, hello! Way to revive the Gryffie review thread! I thought I'd accidentally killed it!

I'm really glad you liked that opening! I wanted to sort of start the story fresh, with, like, a brand new introduction to the wizarding world. And we never got to see mixed muggle/wizard houses in canon--so I definitely wanted to see what that would look like through a muggle's eyes.

Plus, as a dramedy, I really wanted to examine the various implications of the wizarding world, and their impact on the teenage experience--and having your partner obliviated after your First Time is kind of a horrible, devastating thought! (Also, that *must* happen from time to time. I mean: teenagers).

Writing a canon compliant story set during PhilStone was definitely a MASSIVE undertaking (all sorts of HP Wiki and Lexicon tabs just LIVED at the top of my browser while writing)--but it was also amazingly fun. I had this whole existing story framework to play around in, and all these canon characters to look at in a new way. The dramatic-irony potential was MASSIVE.

Thank you so much for dropping by with the review, and for all the kind words!


 Report Review

Review #8, by maraudertimesAnnabel: Annabel

23rd September 2014:
Hi! Review swap!

This was cute and sad at the same time. The only CC would be a handful of typos, but just read through and clean it up and it should be fine.

This is one of the few stories with a male Dominique and I've always kind of liked it. I can never write anything but female Dominique, but it always makes me happy to play up the French name into something more masculine.

The plot was extremely sad although I would have liked to have seen how Dominique and Annabel managed to meet and become close since it mainly centered on Annabel and Louis and how their relationship progressed, with nothing linking the fall of their relationship and the start of Annabel and Dominique's.

Overall, this was really cute, albeit sad, but good job! Glad to have done this swap!

Author's Response: I didn't notice the typos, I'll clean that up as soon as I get the chance. thank you for the swap, it is a sad oneshot but it's one of my favorites. I'm happy to have done the swap with you, hopefully we can swap again sometime :)

 Report Review

Review #9, by maraudertimesTraitorous Hearts: A Family Affair

23rd September 2014:
Review swap! Again! I really love how I'm finally able to continue reading and reviewing this. I really like this story!

Okay, so the start was really sad, especially seeing Astoria, who is so strong and fierce, go through such extensive hardships after the incidents. The part with Tilly made me a little happier though because it always makes me feel better when families treat their house elves properly.

Meeting Felix Greengrass was a little different to say the least. I think he's a smart man but he seems to have some really bad memory problems, so I hope that gets better. I liked his comments on muggles. Although it's probably dangerous for him to think like that, I respect him a lot (even if he doesn't know that voicing those opinions could get him killed).

The final ending with Astoria and her ancestor/portrait was really touching. It showed how much she cared for her father to have Tilly hide the books instead of getting rid of them, all in order to please her father but also protect him.

I really liked this chapter and I'm still really loving the concept and characters you've created. It's really awesome and I know the next chapter will be just as awesome!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hello hello!

It *is* sad. Astoria has a lot on her plate. Like you say, she's a very strong person, and I think it's not till you see the burdens she's shouldering--besides interviews with Death Eaters--that you get to see just how strong she really is.

Felix is certainly intelligent, but he's not all there in the head. The stress of losing his wife made him really retreat into himself, and now his brain has just kind of re-wired around the things it can't cope with. He's a bit mad, but he's still a lovely person. Felix probably has the best heart of any of the Greengrasses.

I'd definitely respect Felix for what he says, and I'm happy that you do, too. Even if he hasn't grasped the dangers of the current political climate, his views would not be popular among his peers. He's brave to believe differently from them, and to be willing to voice his opinions. I'd say he isn't perfect; he's still a bit patronizing toward Muggles, though he does recognize that the innovations they've made to survive in spite of their lack of magic are quite spectacular. But still, his views are far and away better than those held by most of Pureblood society.

I'm glad you liked that part! It's a moment of growth for Astoria. Her instinct is usually to eliminate threats. This is the second time that she has been willing to deviate from that pattern for the sake of someone she cares about.

Thank you so much. I'm really happy that you're enjoying it, and a appreciate your confidence. Hopefully the next chapter *will* be just as enjoyable. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Thanks again for the swap!


 Report Review

Review #10, by maraudertimesNot Normal: {Chapter the Sixth}

23rd September 2014:
I'm back!

So I couldn't very well review the Around the World story since I've reviewed every chapter so far and there hasn't been a new one in a while (slightly judgemental eyebrow raise because it's really amazing and you should get on that, but no matter) ;) so I'm back for this chapter! Yay!

Ugh, that ghost story (lol) made me so sad. To have your significant other die in a car crash? That's awful! I do hope it's his ghost though, and not some random ghost. It would be cute if maybe he just wanted to say "I love you" or "Goodbye," that is, if Alexia would believe the whole ghost thing.

I kind of miss Regulus, although I suspect Ellie doesn't mind, especially with Albus spreading rumours about her supposed "boyfriend" (the Galileo bit was brilliant!). But he adds some not-needed comedy that I love (not-needed because everything else is already so hilarious).

The secret passageway thing was obscenely crazy! Books in a hidden storage room in a library? No way! Okay, okay, but the actual thing with the stone lion and snake and badger and eagle all coming to life (and the badger booping the snake) was priceless and really cool. It's so mysterious so now you have to just keep writing to continue with it! I need to know how this scary room with it's eternal flame will be used!

Great job, I absolutely loved it, as always! Keep going because you can't stop now!
Lo :)

Author's Response: I did think that you'd probably reviewed Around the World since I think you've basically read everything I've ever written, for which I am very thankful *hugs*

The ghost story is very sad, but also not. I want to highlight that about Ellie in the coming chapters. She deals with a lot of sad stuff, but she deals with it surprisingly well, usually by shoving it behind her sarcasm, but still. We'll see.

I miss Regulus too! He was going to be in this chapter, but then I had to delete him. That made me incredibly sad, but he just had to go. Hopefully in the next chapter, though. Because obviously Ellie needs more strife in her life!

The secret passageway scene was such a surreal thing to write, because I knew what was coming up, but I had to keep putting all these obstacles in her way. Like, it was so frustrating, because I just wanted to get to the good stuff already! I'm glad that it worked!

Thanks so much for the lovely review! It's always nice to hear from you!

 Report Review

Review #11, by maraudertimesTraitorous Hearts: A Changing Tide

22nd September 2014:
Hiya, here for the review swap!

Ohmigoodness, I think Draco likes Astoria! ;) It was really cool to see that he didn't attack her straight away after she pulled the poker on him, especially since his wand was right there. He's intrigued by her and obviously wants to learn more about her and her situation.

I just absolutely love Astoria. She's such a great character. She's feisty and hard, but also so emotional and I just absolutely love this story. Ugh it's been so long since I've read it.

The end with Greyback was probably my least favourite part just because of Greyback, but I loved how Draco handled it. It just shows the power he can command because of his blood status and his position in Voldemort's (oops!) ranks. And just the fact that he lied for her and saved her from Greyback? *squee* It's a weird thing to want and a weird thing to think cute or desirable but it is. :)

And yay! Finally leaving the parlour. I'm so excited for the next one! This one was so jam-packed and hopefully I can continue reading this because I really like it! I'm always just so amazed and in awe of your writing skills. Keep it up because this is awesome!

Lo :)

Author's Response: Hey!

Ohmygoodness, I think he might ;)

Thank you so much! Like, so, SO much. That really means a lot.

Ick. Greyback. I understand the sentiment. And it's nice to see Draco putting all that arrogance to good use for once, isn't it?

Bahaha. Oops is right. I'm just gonna go hide over here, and if the Snatchers come, you never saw me, right?

It *is* a weird thing to find cute or desirable, but I'm totally on the same page. "Oh, Draco, the way you boss werewolves around is sooo dreamy. *swoons*"
...Look, some girls appreciate flowers. Some like chocolates. And some prefer to be rescued from certain death. But that's fine. It's apples and oranges, really.

Thank you so much for your kind words, Lo! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story!


 Report Review

Review #12, by maraudertimesSacrifice: Of Beginnings, Aurors, and Torn Photographs

22nd September 2014:
Hiya! Here for the review swap!

I really liked this, although the one thing that stood out to me was I kept getting the kids confused. Maybe use a family picture at the beginning to introduce them and their defining characteristics because I kept mixing them up. However, I did like their dynamics and I loved the bit with Adam, because even though we don't know what The Incident is, it does seem like a natural response for a kid to have.

I liked how the characters were all kind of similar but also not, and their reactions to the aurors were very believable, even the hug since Dean's kid is AJ's good friend.

I'm excited to see where this goes and the whole Incident thing has me intrigued. Great job with this start!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hi, Lo!

Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked my characters--I tried hard to make them similar, because they're family, yet different at the same time.

Thanks so much!


 Report Review

Review #13, by maraudertimesAbandon: Strangers and Fireworks

19th September 2014:
Hi! Review swap!

Okay this was kind of strange, but good. There was a lot of Weasleys to talk about and at some points it was a little disorienting, but all in all it flowed well.

I liked the little points about how each of the Weasleys grew up, although some of them were a bit of a shock, such as the information about Audrey, and the fact that Fred (Perce) likes bullying his younger cousins, while it does seem realistic, seems a bit exaggerated. Although Hermione's reaction was golden!

One thing I noticed was that the losers of the dance battle had to house the kids all summer, and apparently George lost, but then Roxie says she doesn't mind living with her aunt and uncle, so perhaps just looking over that part.

The end was really scary and I'm so frightened for Roxie. I hope she's okay. You did a very good job setting up the scene and keeping the tone of the scene dark and scary, so great job there.

Overall, this was quite good, a few of the sentences were kind of run on sentences, but other than that it was really cool. Great concept.

Lo :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for coming by with the swap, I really enjoyed your story as well. I hope we see more of each other, I'm always lurking around the forums. :D

I've been meaning to clean this chapter up a bit since there's a bit of confusion with all the Weasley children. Hahahha. If you're shocked by how Audrey is, you should really read "This is Audrey Tang: The Bad Taste" to get a better understanding of her. I'm glad that you were shocked though! Hahahah. Perce is a bully but if you ever get a chance to continue reading, you'll see that he's nothing compared to Teddy.

I think that Roxanne meant that she wouldn't mind staying with her aunt and uncle if they lost but I see what you mean. Hahaha.

Oh, there's no need to be scared for her yet! If you read on, you'll see what I mean but as for right now...hold your breath.

Thanks a lot!

Much love,


 Report Review

Review #14, by maraudertimesHow to Become Minister of Magic: A Guide: Let's Make a Deal

19th September 2014:
Hiya! Here for the challenge reviews!

Ohmigoodnes, I read your A.N. and I was like "Oh this better continue on" and then I saw it had seven chapters and I was good. Honestly though, I really liked this for some reason.

I say for some reason because Laney *is* kind of... rude... mean... judgemental... and basically the epitome of people I dislike and Louis is... proud... calculating... uses his name for perks... and basically the epitome of guys I steer clear from. But together? I am so excited to see how they interact, for goodness sake, their chemistry already is amazing!

I like the way you've set the scene, especially with Laney from France, although maybe this is just me, but I would've expected an accent or a reason as to why she doesn't have one. However, I'm going to assume that because of her English last name and the fact that many people know her father, she was shipped off for school. I would like to know why but that's just me. :)

Ugh her icky boss is icky. And I love the independent 'I'm going to do my own thing to get what I need' attitude Laney has in exploiting her boss's ickyness. And it's awesome that Louis noticed it. Shows they have a bit in common.

I'm excited to see where this story goes and I absolutely love the chapter image/banner and basically everything. It's really well set up. Great job!

Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #15, by maraudertimesHurricane Luna: They Meet in a Tree

12th September 2014:
Hi Beth! Sorry this took way too long! I'm going to try to get the results up in the next ten minutes, so I won't review the other three chapters just yet (I'll read them though). As soon as I have the time afterwards, I will though.

Okay, so this was really cool. I'll start with Rolf, who is nothing like I imagined (yet) as he seems very uppity and I always imagined him as a free spirit, kind of like Luna. I do like how that kinda gives off the whole 'opposites-attract' kind of vibe though, so it isn't necessarily bad. It's nice to see that he's really just like that because he's always had to live in his grandfather's shadow though. It gives him a reason for his flaw, which is nice because it means he has such a big one, but it also means its relatable.

Luna is very dreamy and almost exactly as canon Luna, so kudos to you for writing her so well. I really liked how she had been watching Rolf for a few days before he even noticed her, because it really lends to her intelligence as she hid herself amazingly well.

Their chemistry is really cool to see, and I'm excited to see how their relationship progresses. I can't really say if I like the use of the quote yet (just because it's so different), but I promise to try and review the other chapters ASAP to see if it kinda builds up, I'm just gonna busy for a while.

Thanks so much for participating in my challenge, again, so sorry for taking so long. This was great and I really liked it!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hi Lo!

Wow - thanks for this review! And I just read that the story came in third for the challenge. This is the first time I've placed in a challenge and I'm just so giddy right now!

I know that Rolf is often described as the male version of Luna, but I thought this was so much more interesting. Thank you for giving it a chance. I know that I took a different twist on the quote, but I really started to fall in love with Luna and Rolf while writing this.

I think you will like the subsequent chapters as the love story unfolds. I included one aspect of the quote in each chapter and now I have the motivation to finish this story.

Thanks again Lo!


 Report Review

Review #16, by maraudertimesStorm: I'm Not An Angel

12th September 2014:
Hi! So sorry it took so long! Had some personal things to deal with! But I'm here now!

This. Was. Awesome! I really liked this! Not exactly how I imagined someone might use the quote, but crazily close!

Okay so let's start with Dominique. I love how she isn't the typical vela who is completely and utterly gorgeous, and that the veelaness gives her something else. It sucks that it's the anger management issues, but what can you do.

The little cute quips about her parents make me so happy! Bill and Fleur are such cuties and I'm glad to see their relationship progress as such. Also, Fleur talks like my French grandmother does, so it's really cool to see you really pull in French culture and language/accent in that, especially as her children call her Maman. I call my grandmother MeMe even when I'm speaking to her in English, so it made me feel a little something personally.

The whole Jack thing is a mess and sad and awful and if only it had worked out! He was so sweet! I loved how it was Dom that really set their relationship in motion as it really captured how apprehensive Victoire is about relationships especially with her condition. But he's such a sweetie and maybe you could write a sequel of how they get back together? No? ... Okay...

Needless to say, this was absolutely amazing. I'll try to have the results up soon, and again, I'm sorry for taking so long, but I'd like to just say that I loved this. Thanks so much for participating in my challenge!
Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #17, by maraudertimesA Promise: Don't leave

12th September 2014:
Hi! I'm so sorry that this is late. Trying to get everything done by today or tomorrow, everything's just been really hectic.

Okay, so I liked this but I didn't, only because it was sad so don't take that as a 'this-isn't-good'. It was.

Remus and Tonks is one of my favourite canon pairings and I love the dynamic between them that you wrote. It's very true to Tonks' character that she'd never sit and wait when there's a fight going on, especially considering she's an auror. But I do understand her needing to stay behind for Teddy, at least for a little while. Honestly, this part breaks my heart because I don't know which decision I would've made since I will never be in that position.

As far as the quote, it didn't really jump out to me as much as I would've liked, especially due to my own understanding of the quote as someone who breaks someone's heart by leaving voluntarily, but I definitely see what connection you made, and that's what I like to see: different interpretations. That's what art is all about, right?

This was really great and even though it was exceptionally sad, I really enjoyed it. Keep up the amazing writing and I'll try and have the results up soon. Sorry for taking so long!
Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #18, by maraudertimesI Am Reality: My Purpose is to Attract

9th September 2014:
Hi! I am so terribly sorry for taking so long! Real life got, well... real. But I'm here now!

Okay, so first things first, I love James! How could you do this! But immediately after that: I really love this, so don't read on thinking I didn't!

Okay, so I loved how you put a spin on the quote. I always imagined it being someone who would leave, maybe not so willingly, but who knew that people would fall in love with them more easily than she/he/ze would fall in love with others. I have never envisioned someone purposefully breaking others' hearts, but that was one of the reasons this story struck me.

I loved how she went by steps, almost cataloguing responses and (to me at least), very calculating in how she approached situations. It lent a very methodical and almost machine-esque presence to the girl, further exaggerating her absolute disdain for love.

I also really liked how she was a veela, because I don't see all that many stories with veela that are like this. It seems as though she has had her heart broken and is determined to do the same to all men, so maybe a prequel could be awesome (hopes fervently).

The fact that she left him at the alter breaks my heart but really lends to the story so I commend you on doing something so brash and giving your story that much volume. I could never do that to my James (*cuddles character aggressively*)

Anyways, this was a really good story and I liked how you drew inspiration from the quote, especially in this manner. Again, I am so sorry for the terribly long wait!

Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #19, by maraudertimesBeautifully Destroyed: Beautifully Destroyed

9th September 2014:
Hi! Sorry this took so long (far too long), I just had to deal with a few things.

In terms of your story, the richness of the description is lovely, and the situation you have painted is really realistic in what someone might be going through in those times. Hiding in cupboards or closets when Regulus's 'acquaintances' made their rounds, trying to keep him from breaking but trying to keep herself from breaking as well.

It was nice to see that Regulus listened to her, at least in the sense that when she asked him to stop drinking he did, although I don't necessarily think drinking was that much of a problem for him.

The ending was very sad, although somewhat to be expected, although her rejoicing in death almost was a certain twist that could be construed as inevitable though. It was nice to see such raw emotion.

In terms of the quote I wish you could have done more with it, used it in a more meaningful way instead of just using the more subjective pieces, but it definitely did work in the context.

Great job, and the hopefully the results should be up soon! (Again, so sorry for everything being so terribly late.)
Lo :)

Author's Response: Thankyou very much for all your time writing this helpful review :)

 Report Review

Review #20, by maraudertimesSpread Your Wings: Chapter 2.

30th August 2014:
I'm back! And yay, it's the date!

Okay, so, I really like the whole "getting lost in his eyes" thing. Unfortunately, I know the feeling (awks) and you've captured it seamlessly. But when boys have those baby blue eyes it's just so easy to zone out and not hear what they're saying... *sigh*

Anyways, I think it was really cool how Lorcan is kind of outgoing and if he and Annabelle strike up a relationship, it would be cute to see him get her to do more adventurous things. Already he seems to have gotten her to a place where she's more comfortable and a little bit more engaged in conversation.

Lily and Lysander are so cute, but I wonder how the long distance thing will affect them. Unless this story only pans out the rest of the summer, but still, I do hope they stay together and nothing bad happens! I hope I didn't just jinx that!

Also, Lorcan is really bad at this dating thing. Asking a girl if she's watching her weight? Big no-no, but I guess he does accept it and he didn't mean it meanly. :P

Overall, this was a really cute chapter - OH! and also, I love how Annabelle realizes she's pretty! Like dayum girl, you're best friend tells you you're gorgeous and you don't believe her until you put on a dress? Chick flick moment!

But yes, this chapter was really cute and I wish there was a third so it would continue on! Keep writing, yeah? Cuz this is such a cute story!
Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #21, by maraudertimesSpread Your Wings: Chapter 1.

30th August 2014:
Hiya! Here for the Gryffindor review exchange!

I think I read this a little while ago when there was only one chapter and never really reviewed, so when I started reading it again everything immediately clicked and I remembered something: I really liked this when I read it the first time.

Annabelle and her father seem really close and I love how you explained why. While the circumstances are sad, it's totally understandable and very realistic. The fact that she was able to tell her dad about the strange double date really demonstrated the relationship between them since I don't know too many girls who would tell their dad right away, and it's really sweet.

I love the homeschooled part about the Scamanders. I'm not sure if that's part of your fanon or actual canon but it really speak to the type of people Luna and Rolf are and really helps develop their characters even if they're only mentioned.

Ooooh, and the brother twist sounds fun! Hopefully Annabelle and Lysander's brother (I think his name is Lorcan?) will hit it off, or at least, the date will be super awkward and hilarious! But even so, I wonder if maybe one of Lily's older brothers might come into the mix (*cough cough* James), only because you introduced him as "Lily's incredibly attractive older brother". That would be funny!

Anyways, this was a really cute first chapter and I'm excited to read more! So, on to the next!
Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #22, by maraudertimesObsession: Obsession

20th June 2014:
Hi Lauren! Reviewing for the challenge thingy or what not!

I'm going to start off by saying ohmigoodness this was AMAZING!! I can't believe you created such a creepy, morose atmosphere just with description, there was absolutely no dialogue except for Pansy's cry for the house elf, yet still everything came off very clearly and I felt as if I was there.

I loved the little tidbits about Pansy's friends trying to tell her to stop being so obsessive over Draco, especially since it shows that even Slytherins realize when it's time to let some of their fellow housemates go. Her ignorance of that really shone through as well.

Ugh, I can't believe Pansy would want to erase her memories, but I guess I've never been in that situation, have I? The ending with the remembrall was really cool, especially because it seems like Pansy wants to remember the pale boy but she can't, and I think that speaks volumes to memory loss.

But ohmigoodness the absolute ending was amazing! I thought perhaps Draco had died or something, but I hadn't expected it to be his wedding announcement! That was a really cool plot twist and I liked the formatting of it, where the invitation was right at the end and not necessarily part of the story itself.

Anyways, this was crazy good Lauren, I absolutely loved this! I don't know if we're supposed to tell anyone, but I voted for you because out of all four (superb) entries, yours evoked so much emotion in me and provided such colourful imagery and depth, and ohmigoodness I've never really felt bad for Pansy but you gave me a small inkling of that!

Absolutely amazing job Lauren! This was stunning!
Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #23, by maraudertimesFix: Fix

13th June 2014:
Hi! Here reviewing before voting on the Gryffindor Writing Challenge!

Okay, so please bear with me because I've had less than two hours of sleep in the last 30 hours, but I'm slightly confused...

First, why does getting the job have to do with Pansy losing everything? If she has a boss then doesn't she already have a job? Maybe just outline why exactly she needs this one and how it's different from her last? Next, who is her boss arguing with? His boss? Draco? It's really ambiguous and I can't figure it out, but again, that could be my sleep deprived brain. Also, why does her boss hit her? Isn't that kind of abuse? And why did her response spark that kind of reaction? Does Pansy have leverage on her boss or her bosses boss? Last thing, why would Pansy throw a vase at her boss? The whole situation feels a little off balance as if everything does have a reason, but none of the reasons are explained, and so I don't really get what is supposed to be happening...

That said, however, it was a really interesting concept having Draco narrate the second person POV for Pansy, especially because he seems very accusatory. The only problem I saw there was "Your eye is killing you..." If Draco's the narrator, how would he know that? Maybe if you put "Your eye must be killing you..." Same thing with "You're replaying what had happened when you broke up with me." Draco couldn't possibly know that, so maybe "I wonder if you're replaying what had happened when you broke up with me." maybe?

I really liked how you portrayed Pansy, talking about her cold heart, especially because that's how she comes off in the books. The fact that she was using Draco isn't very unbelievable at all, especially because she *is* a Slytherin after all, and they are known for being ambitious, so kudos on that.

Overall, this was really interesting. I liked how you incorporated each Mix and Match element and the twist with Hermione at the end really does leave this on a strange note. Dramione being such a cliche where Draco leaves Pansy for Hermione, it's really refreshing to see the other side of it, and since this is a WIP (as far as I can see on your page), it allows you to continue on really well/seems like a really good transition.

Good job!
Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #24, by maraudertimesIn The Light Of The Moon : How It All Began

31st May 2014:
Hi! Review swap!

This was really sweet to see, especially considering Remus never thinks about that sort of stuff happening, right? It was very marauderesque to have them want it to be a secret too, so kudos on that!

The one CC I have is that when animagus transform they don't need wands, but when you try and force an animagus out of their animal form, then you do need a spell.

So, this was really great. I loved how you had their nicknames in there and how it kind of went with them discovering their abilities as animagi, and the entire time, Remus being so scared and nervous was very true to form and made a lot of sense considering his character. The fact that he was counting down and kept trying to say that if they weren't careful he may (and probably would) kill them through no fault of his own really brought his character out.

The ending was really sweet and it was funny to see Remus try not to cry because his friends would never let him live it down. It relates perfectly to what I believe the marauders to act like!

In short, great job! This was a wonderful little story!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hi there!!

Aww thank you! I was really trying to go for sweet/heartwarming with this. I can definitely see the 3 boys hiding that from Remus until it was time. I think they would have expected that Remus would try and talk them out of it.

I'm sorry. :( The only reason I wrote it that way was because I had the scene from PoA in my head. When Remus transforms and Peter picks up the wand to transform. It was more or less to paint a picture.

I'm so glad you liked him discovering their nicknames along with the transformation. It my head, I imagined that Sirius, James and Peter had already been using them in secret, but this was the first Remus heard them. I was very much hoping to convey Remus's nervousness and uncertainty. I'm so pleased to hear that came through! XD

Haha yeah, I don't think any 15 year old boy, anywhere, wants to be caught crying in front of his friends. I'm thrilled you liked the ending!

Thank you so, so much for the review! You're way too kind!! :)

xoxo - Meg

 Report Review

Review #25, by maraudertimesLove in Three Acts: Epilogue: After the Curtain Fell

31st May 2014:
Rose! You didn't make me cry! :D

Oh, this was so sweet with a bitter under taste of sadness for James and Lily and Sirius in Azkaban, but I'm very happy!

I'm glad the two of them sorted everything out and even though Remus decided not to try being together again, I think his reasons are sound and to be honest, I don't believe Sirius deserves another chance, even after his stint in Azkaban. It's good to see that Remus kind of thinks like that too.

Well, at least they're friends, right? I think this was a really great ending note and you did amazing at making me slightly less sad! It also coincides almost perfectly with what I imagined being in the prequel to your two other Remus/Tonks stories (which I still need to review - oops), if there was a wolf-star, so yay for that!

Great job Rose, this is a great story!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Yes! Your smiley face is back :D

I wanted to end this with something a little less depressing than the previous chapter.

If Tonks/Remus weren't canon, I might have let them get back together. I love Ronks enough to where I'm not upset that they stayed just friends after this.

Being friends again is a wonderful step for them after all they went through! I'm glad it's slightly less sad now! I did end this so it could lead into my Remus/Tonks stories.

Thanks you for the wonderful reviews on this story!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>