Reading Reviews From Member: marauder5
172 Reviews Found

Review #26, by marauder5I Saw Him Once : I Saw Him Once

26th August 2013:
I saw your update about this on the forum, and I'm here to check it out.. I'm always so impressed with people who manage to pull of Luna, since I find it so difficult. I think your portrayal was really, really good! :)

I loved your description of the forest in the beginning; it could almost feel the humid atmosphere and the stifling heat! I also really liked how she and Ned were so much alike - they seemed like the perfect match! (I do have to ask, though: I know that according to JKR, she marries Rolf Scamander, who, I imagine, is also a lot like Luna - and Ned here. How come you decided to have Ned as the other character instead?) :)

The only suggestion I have is that you might want to add something more to the transition between the memory of meeting Ned and their wedding day. I think it felt just a little bit rushed, so maybe you could have some more description there or make it more distinct, somehow. Apart from that, I absolutely loved this one-shot, the characterization and description, and I wish you the best of luck in the challenge!!! :)

Author's Response: Hello :) I'm a little overwhelmed that you're reviewing one of MY stories, 19 Years is my absolute favourite story on the archives!

I'm really glad you liked my portrayal of Luna, she's definitely not an easy character to write and I've avoided her so far because she's my favourite character in the entire series and I wanted to do her justice :) I think often people write her as this slightly stupid girl who only ever talks about nargles but personally I think she's very intelligent and just eccentric!

Description is definitely my weakest aspect of writing, I get far too lost in the plot usually so it's wonderful to know you liked it :)

As for the Rolf/Ned thing, this was for 2 challenges, the les Mis one and a Luna/original character one so I couldn't use Rolf.

Your advice makes perfect sense-thank you for that. I have a little time before the challenges close so will see if I can iron out the transition.

Thank you for the very lovely and very helpful review!

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Review #27, by marauder5Harry, Ginny, & Their Love Story: Ron's Alive

26th August 2013:
I'm really happy to see an update! :D and it was a very good one, as well!! I loved your description of everyone waiting in St. Mungo's to hear news about Ron and Ginny. Somehow, I found it so sweet that Hermione and Harry were holding hands, because in a way I feel like they're the closest to him (even if family ties may be stronger than friendship/romance, I just loved that image).

The only "complaint" I have is that you could have.. well, you said yourself that it felt a little rushed, and I don't necessarily agree, but I feel like the theme of the chapter was waiting, and how awful it is, and how time moves slowly.. and I do think you could have emphasized that a little bit, because it felt like they were waiting and then they immediately got the news that both Ron and Ginny were going to be fine. So maybe you could have stretched out the part in the middle where all of the others must have been feeling so helpless and frustrated and impatient. But that is the only thing in this chapter that could have been proved. All the rest was so good! I feel like you have developed so much since I first started reading this story, and it just keeps getting better. I loved how you wrote that Harry couldn't bring himself to look at Ron. That just shows how much he really loves him, I think. There's nothing worse than seeing your loved ones sick or injured, and you showed that in such a simple, perfect way with only that small sentence.

Well done! I look forward to seeing Ron recover. I'm glad Ginny's okay. Also, I'm hoping it won't be too long now before Harry and Ginny have James.. :) I really like this story!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! You made me smile for the first time in a few hours, as I sit here at 2 am studying for a calculus test, and I can't stress how helpful that is, so thank you :)

As for the complaint, I completely agree. I wanted to stretch it out, but I just needed to get SOMETHING out, I was close to getting death threats (; I'm not a fabulous writer when it comes to slow moving things and dragging the moment on, but sometimes I have to do it, and I think I might go back and do that with this chapter.

I am extremely excited for the following chapters, since I've had this idea for the next two chapters in my head for over a year, it'll be out soon! I actually have 1,500 words of the next chapter written, so hopefully it'll be up in a less than a month!

And thank you for reviewing on this chapter, quite a few people have read it and not reviewed, so I was actually considering taking it down. So thank you so much!

Wow, I guess I like to type out long responses... :) I hope you see you soon!

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Review #28, by marauder5Keeping Secrets: Six Months Later

26th August 2013:
Hi! I'm back! Finally... it only took me forever, but I finally found some time to come back and continue this story, and I'm so glad I did! Okay, here we go:

Oh, Charlie. Why do you have to be so PROUD?? I guess I can understand why he's too ashamed to go home, but the longer he waits, the harder it's going to be. I feel so bad for him. In the last chapter, I just wanted to hug him and tell him that it wasn't his fault. Now, I kind of want to shake him and tell him to get his head straight! Haha ;)

I love how he was shocked at how much work and time it gets to travel the Muggle way!

I love your introduction of the new bartender in the beginning of the chapter; you described it so well! I could really picture her stopping to tie her apron, looking around to see who might need a refill, as if she's eager to perform as well as possible her first day at work! I absolutely loved that part! The only thing I'd like to point out is how "almond shaped eyes in a brilliant green shade" is exactly the description of Harry's eyes... so maybe hers could be blue? Or not almond shaped? I don't know, it was just something that stood out to me as quite unlikely. Unless she's related to Lily.. well, I don't know, it was just a thought ;)

That last paragraph; it's pure gold! Seriously, it had me smiling SO widely, because even though I was happy to have him go back to his family, I really want him to run into Liz again. So far, I absolutely love her as a character. Normally, I'm not this happy about a prospect pairing so early on in the story, but I guess yours is an exception! Good job, my friend! :) I can't wait to read the next one (hopefully it won't take me so long!)

Author's Response: Oh wow... really, Jayde... really?? I posted the wrong response with the wrong review!!

What happened was, I was trying to respond to THIS review this morning, but then there was a notice on the forums that said the "review response" feature was down... so I copied and pasted my response in a word document and decided I'd give it a try when I got home from work. (Well, apparently it works now!! But I accidentally copied and pasted the response for this chapter into the next chapter's review... so I guess the only way to fix it now is to leave my response to your review on Chapter "New Development" here. I'm sorry for the confusion, and for the long-winded explanation!!)

Okay, so... the response!

I'm really glad you felt the need to come back and read more! I'm really sorry there's not more of the story for you to read now; I'm hoping to fix that soon! *Crosses fingers*

Teehee; I get kind of fangirly when I re-read the part about Charlie wanting to see Liz again, as well; I can't help it! And I'm so happy that you agree that Liz is just what Charlie needs!! ♥

You're right; it's not so abnormal of a question for Liz to want to know about Charlie's family... it certainly did create an awkward moment though, didn't it?? Hehe! Awww, yay for them going back to England and living happily ever after, that sounds like a good ending! :) I won't tell you whether or not it will end that way, though, you'll just have to keep reading to find out! XD (I know, I'm evil!)

Haha; I don't blame you for waiting to come back. I know how it feels to get SO into a story, only to have to wait for more chapters to be posted. So just take your time, dear, the fact that you've read and reviewed this at all means the world to me!! ♥ Thank you SO SO MUCH!!! I can't wait to see what you think about future chapters, and I'm so happy that you're falling in love with the story! *hugs*

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Review #29, by marauder5Sleepless: Chapter One

11th August 2013:
I have a feeling I'm going to fall head over heals in love with this story... This was so cute! SO CUTE! Ron and Hermione is one of my absolute favourite pairings, and I love the idea of this story! I think that your portrayal of them was perfect; this is exactly the Hermione we know from the first book, and almost exactly the Ron we know to (perhaps even a better version of him, that he just didn't show in front of Harry when it came to Hermione). It was really sweet to see them have this moment together, even before they were friends. You said it was your head canon, and now you've made it mine too! :) I loved it. I'll definitely add this story to my favourites and come back to read more as soon as possible. Great job on the characterization in this one!

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Review #30, by marauder5corporeal.: happy

5th August 2013:
What a sweet one-shot! I've actually thought about this before, how they'd find out that they're Patronuses match. It really confirms the fact that they're soul mates, doesn't it? I always imagined that finding that out would be what convinced Lily that she really did love James back, but your version of it is perhaps even better. It was beautifully written, and, like I said, so incredibly sweet :) Well done!

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Review #31, by marauder5Keeping Secrets: Enough

3rd August 2013:
I'm back for chapter two! :)

I really like how you put in the trouble that they have with the reporters. It's just another thing that makes it even harder for them to move on, but of course, the reporters are going to care more about a good story than people's feelings. It's something I hadn't thought about, and it was so sad to think of them being showered with all those questions when all they want to do, really, is mourn the loss of Fred.

And Rita Skeeter! Man, she is just so heartless! And your portrayal of her was absolutely flawless. I felt so bad for Charlie, and I really liked his companion for sticking up for him, but I suppose the guilt was too much to bear. And now I just want to hug Charlie because even though he doesn't want to hear it right now, it's NOT his fault! I just want someone to go after him and tell him that (maybe it should be George? just because, well, he was the closest to Fred). In just two chapters, you've managed to suck me into this story and make me want more, more, MORE! So yes, I think I'll add this to my favourites now. And I'll definitely come back to read more as soon as I've got time. You are just so incredibly talented, and I'm already convinced that this is going to be an amazing story!

Author's Response: ♥ ♥

Speaking of spoiling people with reviews... :P

Thank you for coming back and reading and reviewing the second chapter!! It makes me want to squee!!! :D

You're absolutely right - I imagine after the battle that those reporters would be like vultures... especially Rita Skeeter. The poor Weasleys! You're right, all they want to do is mourn Fred and you've got people like this horrid woman here who are only interested in the number of readers they're getting... *Glares at Rita evilly*

Yes, she is quite heartless! Teehee! Thank you for saying that I portrayed her flawlessly! For some reason, I seem to write evil/bad/unliked characters pretty well... o.O

Yes, poor Charlie's guilt was just a little too much for him right then. We should totally just give Charlie a hug-attack!! :P As for someone going after him and telling him it's not his fault... you'll have to see in the next chapter! Muahahaha! *Grins evilly* :P

Awww, yay for sucking you into the story!! ♥ AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ADDING IT TO YOUR FAVORITES!!! ♥ Thank you so much for the compliments, and for this amazing review!! I can't tell you how happy it's made me!! *Squishes*

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Review #32, by marauder5The Blossoming: Memories Amongst Mourners

3rd August 2013:
I really don't know another way of putting it, so I'm just going to go with the first thought that hit me as I thought of what I'd include in this review:

This. Chapter. Pure perfection.

Really, you are such a wonderful writer! I think it's the little things that really do it for me, like how prisoners should be allowed to vote is what sent Vernon over the edge. Or Harry telling Hermes that he thought she (he? I don't know) had retired. Arthur using a tickling charm on Audrey's great-aunt (that's probably my favourite!) James' collection of Chocolate Frog Cards. Dudley trying to hide his smoking from Petunia. And well... the list is quite long already, but I think you see the point. All of those small things are, in my opinion, what makes this chapter so brilliant and the reason that it reminds me so much of JKR's own work. Thank you so much for writing this.

Also, I'm really glad that Harry didn't help carry the coffin after all, at least not physically. "He wouldn't carry Vernon's body, for the man had done nothing to deserve such respect from him, but he could try and ease his cousin's pain slightly." Yes, that right there, was absolutely perfect!

I can't wait to see where else you're taking this story. Have you figured out already how many chapters there will be?

Keep up the wonderful work! I, for one, am eagerly looking forward to the next chapter and more of your lovely writing.

Author's Response: You're so lovely! Thank you so very much for the sweet comments.

That prisoner/vote thing was a real thing in the news on the date that I'd decided Vernon died! Talk about serendipity - it was perfect for my needs.

The little details are my favourite thing in writing this story, so I'm glad you love reading them. I kind of feel like Arthur and the tickling charm deserves it's own one-shot!

My heart goes all happy whenever people say my writing reminds them of JKR's... SUCH a huge compliment. Thank you.

The next chapter is on the way! Ron's got a big decision to make... Woo! Thank you for your encouragement.

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Review #33, by marauder5Keeping Secrets: After the Battle

31st July 2013:
Okay, so I figured it was about time I read something of yours, especially since you've been spoiling me with amazing reviews on my stories, and it's definitely time I return the favour :) Besides, I've never read a story about Charlie before, and I really look forward to seeing where this is going.

This chapter was so sad! For some reason I found it especially touching because it was from Charlie's POV - after all, having seen him only through Ron and perhaps Ginny's admiring eyes, he always seems like such a tough, strong person, and it's so sad to see someone like that break down. Of course, there would be something wrong with him if he didn't! I loved the relationship between him and Bill (I can definitely imagine the two of them being the closest). Hopefully, Charlie will open up to him soon, so that Bill can convince him that it wasn't his fault! It's so sad that he thinks it was!

I don't know if this was a typo or not, because I'm not a native English speaker, but it just sounded a bit off: "He was very nearly crying himself", the 'very nearly crying' part. I think I would have written 'very near crying', but if I'm mistaken, just ignore that. You're probably a lot better at English grammar than I am ;)

I also have another suggestion. When I read this paragraph, I felt like you used the word 'Charlie' a few too many times:

"Bill had always known how to comfort Charlie, and Charlie knew that Bill would be able to comfort him now… but Charlie didn’t want to be comforted. A part of Charlie somewhere deep inside wanted to keep suffering in silence, to continue punishing himself with seclusion and guilt." I think you could write: "... but he didn't want to be comforted. A part of him somewhere deep inside..." I hope that makes sense!

Other than those very small things, I really enjoyed this chapter! I think that this was my favourite part of it:

"It was a name he’d heard his mother yell thousands of times in anger or frustration, a name that was almost synonymous with mischief and foolery. Now, however, the name was accompanied by grief and heartache."

That it just so beautifully written, and so moving, just like the chapter as a whole. I'm definitely going to come back soon and read the next one. Good job on this one, you should be very happy with it!!

Author's Response:

Hey there lovely!! Thank you SO, SO much for stopping by to read and review this! I can't tell you how much it means to me! It was an amazing surprise and it really made my day! And I'm so, so terribly sorry that it has taken me so long to respond!

Yes, this is quite a sad first chapter! :( I was actually afraid that would keep people from wanting to read more, but it doesn't seem to have! :) And I thought it was quite fitting, for someone as seemingly tough as Charlie to inwardly be very sensitive at a time like this.

I agree, it's very sad that Charlie thinks it's his fault, and I'm glad you like the relationship between him and Bill. That just sort of came out of nowhere when I was writing this chapter, but I'm so very glad it did because it fits perfectly! :)

I agree, that sentence does sound a bit off... something about the syntax is a bit wonky! Thank you SO much for pointing that out! ♥ I'll be sure to take care of that when I edit!

Aah. The never-ending "Charlie". I tend to do this a LOT in my stories. I think I've improved a little bit in later chapters, though, I hope you'll agree! Again, thank you SO much for pointing that out! That's something else I should take care of when I edit!

Haha! I'm not sure why, but I really loved that line, too! :P

Aww! Thank you for the compliments! I'm glad you felt the chapter was moving. Again, thank you SO VERY MUCH! ♥

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Review #34, by marauder5Not Normal: {Chapter the First}

27th July 2013:
hi! I'm here for the review tag.

I must say, this was an interesting start to a story. I was really pulled in by the way you explained how Ellie discovered her gift, and I'm definitely interested to learn more about that. I remember JKR saying something about Voldemort ending up like that, with his soul trapped, because he couldn't choose to become a ghost and he also couldn't relax in death... so that got me wondering if Ellie will ever see HIM? Hm... And then, when you announced that their mother had died, that memory from her fifth birthday became moving in another way, because it showed a time when they're family were still complete, sort of the innocent, happy childhood that was taken from them when the mother died. It was really sad. I also found it really touching how Ellie now worried about losing Chris and her dad too - the fear of losing your loved ones... Maybe it just hits close too home for me because I had this HORRIBLE nightmare about my brother dying the other night. Well, either way, I found it really touching, a nice detail to show that she really loves her family, and that she's really close to her brother.

And then Albus walked in. To be honest, while I really liked his character and found their bickering quite amusing, I would say that it's a LITTLE bit cliché... I don't know, I'm just convinced that Ellie is going to fall for him eventually and it's going to be another one of those "Oh, Al is so annoying" that turns into "But he's also rather cute..." I hope you find a way to make it happen without it being cliché, but it's quite a risky path you've taken already in the first chapter. Also, it's the whole "my brother's best mate" thing.. That's not to say I didn't like it, I just think it will be quite challenging to keep it original and fresh, as the first part of this chapter really was. I keep my fingers crossed that you'll find a way, though, and given that I really liked your writing, I'm sure you'll surprise me :)

I think it was nice how Rose is a little rebel in the sense that she likes and believes in Divination. I'm sure that's driving Hermione crazy! I wonder if this Seer will return later on.. what she said now was all very mysterious. Of course, having read the story summary, I have a few guesses as to what she was talking about.

All in all, I thought that this was a really good chapter, and I hope to find the time to read the next one sometime soon as well! It's well written, I didn't spot any major typos or anything like that, and Ellie definitely feels like an interesting character :) Good job!!!

Author's Response: Hello!

:D You're too kind! I reworked the two posted chapters, and I think the first chapter alone grew in size by about 1500 words, so this means a lot!

The first scene was easy and difficult to write at the same time, so if you really liked it... well, I'm incredibly flattered! And the feeling of Ellie losing her brother is semi-inspired by a similar nightmare I had about my sister, so the Ellie's fears felt very real when I was writing that part.

A little cliche? The Ellie/Albus dynamic is so cliche it sometimes makes me cringe when I think about it. But, alas, I do love a good cliche - and I'm a little undecided on if Ellie will fall for Al... she was going to for sure, but then... Al became more annoying to write, so we'll see!

I really wanted to show Rose being a little more normal. Ellie's quite... driven, as you'll see later on, so I wanted something to balance that out a little!

Thanks so much for this lovely review! This really means a lot to me!

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Review #35, by marauder5How I Saved the Wizarding World with Hair Potions, By Gilderoy Lockhart: Hair-Care Potion Maker Extraordinaire

18th July 2013:
Okay, so I found myself laughing from the very first sentence ("I was always marvelous")! That first paragraph is actually absolutely brilliant. Even now, as I went back and read it again, I was cracking up for the second time. To be honest, this is probably the funniest story I have read on this site! I absolutely LOVE the fact that you wrote about Lockman (I've never read any other fan fiction about him), and even better, teenage Lockman. How could it be anything but brilliance?

I also must say that you've added this little hints of adult Lockman in the most perfect way! Like how he accidentally turned James' feet into flippers. That's exactly like when he decided to "fix" Harry's arm!

Lines that made me laugh out loud (litterally!!):

"Gladys has always seemed like a sensible person, and what is more sensible than fancying me?"

"Something hits the side of my cauldron and I jump in my seat, startled. Then I realise it’s only the note from Gladys. I had forgotten about that in all the excitement of how the lilac hat looked on me."

"I must have been distracted by the sensational face smiling back at me from the side of my cauldron."

"And then I understand: he was just too surprised that I would be giving away such a valuable potion for free. So it’s all for the best – I’ll start charging for them from now on."

Yeah. I think I have to say it again. I loved loved LOVED it :) I'll definitely add it to my favourites and go back to read it again whenever I'm bored. I can't remember the last time I laughed this much when I was sitting all alone in my room. Thank you so much for this story :)

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much!! I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and I'm flattered that you think it's that funny. Your review definitely made me smile! :D

The scene when he turned James' feet to flippers was in fact partially inspired by that part in CoS when he "fixed" Harry's arm :P Lockhart never seemed to me like someone who would learn from his mistakes!

Thanks for reading and for your wonderful review!

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Review #36, by marauder5Magpie: The Clearwater Remains

14th July 2013:
I feel bad that it took me this long to read and review this chapter, but here I am, finally! And I'm so glad to see that your brilliance continues, haha :) Really, you have such a talent for story-telling, it's incredible. Honestly, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you will become a published author in the future, so that I can buy all your books and read them over and over and again!

Okay, let's move on from my obsession over your writing skills to the chapter. I think you describe Verity's grief very realistically, like in the beginning when she's talking to her mother and almost see Penelope in the corner of her eye. I can't quite explain why, but it was so touching. Perhaps it was because I think of it as Verity's way of trying to comfort herself - pretending that she's still there.

I also really enjoyed the scene with Gemma. She sounds like a lovely character that I can't wait to see more of, and I really liked the waitress as well. The live music night at the bar seems interesting. I can't wait for it, as I have a really strong feeling that George will be there :D

And getting a glimpse of Penelope and Percy's relationship was absolutely wonderful. I'd love to see more it; for example, will you include why they broke up? From that little fragment we got to see, they seemed to be so happy together!

The idea of Verity being a collector of stories is just so clever. The story about Bess the ghost was so good, so tragic and horrible, and probably my favourite part of this chapter. It was perfectly written, not too long but detailed enough for it to really make an impression.

I was also absolutely thrilled when she ran into George again! I know I said it in the last chapter, but it's worth repeating: you write him so, so well! I just love him as a character. Reading this, I've realized how little we really see of him in the books. He's always around with his funny comments, but I look forward to reading this story, in which I assume you'll explore his character more deeply. I can't wait for it. It was also really nice to see how he relaxed when Fred was around (and it made me sad too because Fred only has two years to live...) :(

And Geoge will convince her that Voldemort is back! Then, I'm sure they'll be able to solve Penelope's murder, and Aaron Holden's murder.. I just realized now that is why the Aurors haven't really done anything, because they, like Fudge, claim that it's not true. It's great that you include those details to make it compatible with canon and what's going on in Harry's world at the same time.

I loved this chapter, and as always, I look forward to the next one. Keep up the wonderful work! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Ah, I don't even know where to start, this review was just so incredible and lovely and awesome! This story is quickly becoming my baby so getting this positive feedback is really encouraging and makes me happy. So thank you! :D

How sweet are you?! Really, I'm so flattered you like my writing and story-telling, that is such amazing praise. :)

Ah, well I'm glad you're still liking Verity and finding her grief believable and interesting. I feel so sorry for her experiencing all of these feelings, but the grieving process is a really important part of the story and I think she would still be seeing and having trouble believing Penelope is entirely gone.

I'm also so pleased you like Gemma, her character and her appearance in the story was one of the first things I came up with and wrote while planning the story. As for your suspicion about George making an apperance, well that is definitely a good guess! :P

I'm definitely going to include a lot more about Percy and his relationship with Penny, since the fact that they dated is one of the only real canon facts about her and because Percy is such an intruiging character to me. We definitely haven't see the last of him, or of the flashbacks to Verity's Hogwarts years- they're so fun to come up with! :D

I'm so glad you liked the Bess anecdote because the little minor characters and side stories are so interesting and exciting for me to come up with. Hopefully it wasn't too creepy, and was interesting and symbolic instead! :P

I'm so pleased you like the way I've been writing George, I'm always concerned about doing him properly. I agree, he's not really particularly deep in the books and I want to go into depth with his character and give him more emotion and diverse qualities. I'm glad you liked the little detail about Fred, and yes, it's just so upsetting to think about Fred's death while I'm writing this! :(

Haha I love your predictions! It's great to hear you like the connections to canon, and the useless-ness of the Aurors at the moment. There's definitely a lot more to come. :)

Thank you thank you thank you for your amazing support and feedback on this story, it's so lovely of you and I really enjoy reading your words! Hopefully I'll be able to update this story soon! :D

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Review #37, by marauder5Somewhere Only We Know: Somewhere Only We Know

13th July 2013:
Oh dear, how could you? *wipes tears away*

This was such a beautiful one-shot. Throughout the piece, I was thinking: "Oh, what a cute idea, having Hermione look back at her memories of travelling!" And then there were your little details that made it even better, like Ron's skin going as red as his hair (obviously!!) and his hand-writing being as bad as Rose's. It was also lovely to see their holidays changing as their lives changed - when they had children, when the kids were older, and then with grandchildren. I really liked that.

I think that this might be a typo: "had survived the stress of raising two children, and ultimately had murdered one another in their sleep." It should be "ultimately hadn't murdered one another in their sleep," shouldn't it?

Oh, and when I read that last line, my heart broke! It was such a twist that I certainly didn't expect, but it made the rest of the story even more beautiful. It's just so sad to think about those who lose their husband/wife after having spent so many years together, and now they have to live alone.. :( But it's the harsh reality of so many lives, and your portrayal of it was absolutely impeccable.

Author's Response: Ha, I'm sorry! :P

Thank you, I'm so pleased you liked it! I really enjoyed thinking up all the little details that I wrote, it was so fun. And yes, stupid typo haha, I've fixed it now! :P

I meant the ending to be bittersweet in that she was sad Ron was gone but happy about all the memories they had. I know, it's really sad :( thank you for such a huge compliment though! :)

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #38, by marauder5Percy's Day Off: Down to Breakfast

13th July 2013:
Hi! I' here for the House Cup!

Oh my Godness. I love the Weasleys from the bottom of my heart, and I was absolutely thrilled to see that you have captured the essence of them so perfectly in this little glimpse into their lives. I loved this!

The little details you have added make things so believable. For example, everyone refusing to eat anything that Fred and George give them, Percy working on the cauldron thickness (I still think it's such a silly thing, it's hilarious!), and, of course, Mrs Weasley worrying. It was really nice to see Percy trying to understand his mother; I think it showed that he really loves his family as well. Of course, he blamed Fred and George for making her HAVE to worry about her children ;)

Also, I must say: Mr Weasley saying that Percy would get a chance to Apparate in order to convince him to agree to help them.. so perfect! Apparation is a lot like driving for us, and I know I was like that after I got my driver's license. If my parents would ask me to give them a ride or pick them up somewhere, I gladly agreed to it just to get a chance to drive! So yes, I could totally relate to Percy in that situation ;)

This was my favourite quote from your story: "Dragons! He might as well have been studying the inside of active volcanoes; it might have worried her less." Pure brilliance! Very well done on this! :)

Author's Response: I am so glad you enjoyed it, and it's nice to see that someone else has a soft spot for the Weasleys.

I think Percy did understand his parents, because like Ron he was the introspective one in the family (they are both a lot like their dad). I think he always wanted to be a good child and a good example, and his later bad choice stemmed from that, but that's just my opinion.

Apparition is most certainly the wizarding world's version of driving. When I was 16 I would have seen to just about any errands if it meant I would get to drive some.

Thanks for the R&R


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Review #39, by marauder5An unexpected journey: An unexpected journey

13th July 2013:
Hello, I'm here for the House Cup review!

I love it when people take a line from the books and create an entire story around it, like the way you have done here. I also really love how you began telling it from the old lady's POV, and how she was happy to live in such a quiet place (throughout that whole section, I was thinking 'Yeah, right. Just wait...')

And then you changed to Charlie's POV. I think he was very smoothly introduced, when you said that "In the front row, a young man with red hair..." That worked really well, I think.

My only suggestion would be to develop the scene where he actually lands upon her. I think it has the potential to be an even funnier moment :) Perhaps she could get more upset? Be a little more cranky? I think it would work, because it would make Fred's comment (some poor old dear doing her shopping) more sarcastic and witty, which seems very in character for him :)

But of course, that is a very minor thing. I really enjoyed this story the way it is, it was really well written, and I was so relieved when Mr Weasley found Charlie!! ;)

Author's Response: Yes that poor old lady. She enjoyed the quiet life so much and then BAM! Charlie lands on top of her. It's so much fun to take a line from teh books and then expand on it, don't you think? So pleased you enjoyed it.
cheers Mel

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Review #40, by marauder5Life is Good: Life is Good!

13th July 2013:
hi! I'm here for the House Cup review!

I must say, this was really good! The conversation between the girls was very realistic, the plot was good and all in all, it was a very enjoyable read :) Mrs Adams was so funny when she said that their fireplace was only there for.. fires! Haha!

I do have a question about this sentence: "Rachel's best friend and fellow Ravenclaw Alara Ayoni was what was known as a Pure Blood Sympathizer, and had known the fear for much longer." If she was a Pure Blood Symphathizer, how come she's best friends with a Muggleborn? And how come she's so exited about Muggle travelling? Maybe I just misunderstood something, I don't know ;) Perhaps you can clear things up for me!

And then, the girls excitement over William the Wandering Wizard (which sounds like a name that JKR would have used, or someone that Harry and his friends would have come across in History of Magic). I loved how their parents said that they had to behave when they saw him, haha! Young teenage girls meeting their hero.. yeah, they probably needed to hear that ;)

I really liked this! Well done :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reading!
As I understand it, a pure blood sympathizer is like the Weasleys- of pure blood, but committed to the ideal that blood status doesn't matter correct? So Alara would not mind Rachel's blood status. Maybe "blood traitor" would have been a better word choice.

My thought was that both of them had something to fear from V- Rachel had to fear her blood status, whereas Alara had to fear the ideology she had learned from her parents, that all witches and wizards are equal.

Hopefully I've cleared that up, sorry if my word choice was wrong!

Thanks for reading!

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Review #41, by marauder5A Portrait Existence: Phineas Nigellus Black: A Portrait Existence

26th June 2013:
Hi! I'm here for the review tag.

I must say, I think that you have captured Phineas' character perfectly in this! He's such an interesting and amusing character, and I think you've portrayed that absolutely perfectly! I enjoyed reading how the other portraits were shocked at his disrespect for Dumbledore! Even though I agree with them a little bit, I'm glad that Phineas had at least one friend. :)

Also, you've included something else in this, which is the tragedy of being half-alive. I think that it's something that many ghosts would experience and the reason that most witches and wizards choose to move on after their death instead. While this Phineas isn't the actual Phineas Black, merely a portrait of the living man, it might not be exactly the same, but still. Imagine having to watch people live, day after day, and be stuck in that half-alive state forever. It was an interesting aspect that I really, really liked about this chapter. Also, comparing it to Sirius' situation was perect, and without doubt the perfect ending to a very good one-shot.

The only criticism I have is about the spacing between your paragraphs - sometimes you skip one line, sometimes three. When you skip three lines, I automatically think that you're jumping forwards in time etc., so that was a little confusing. But it's a very minor thing that can be easily fixed. Over all, this was very good! :)

Author's Response: hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I am glad you liked Phineas' character, along with the other portraits'. Yes, he should have at least one person to turn to, shouldn't he? xP

Indeed, I always wondered what it would feel to be 'half alive' - like the ghosts and portraits and that became my source for much of the writing in this story. I am glad you found it interesting, and also that you liked the ending.

Ah, when I post the chapters sometimes the spacing gets messy for some unknown reason =/ I'll go back to it when I can and edit it though. Thanks for the tip!

Thank you.

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Review #42, by marauder5Haunted: Secrets

26th June 2013:
Hi! This was a really, really good one-shot. I never thought I'd feel sorry for Peter (because I dislike him too much), but for a while there, I did. Obviously, he never wanted any of it, and you made it seem like he had no choice (which was probably what he was thinking). But I think Dumbledore, being a better man than Peter, taught us that there's always a choice: the choice between what is right and what is easy, and Peter chose the easy way. I think he could have survived if he had told Dumbledore or his friends after the first time when he was caught stealing, he could have gone into hiding as well... So yeah, I still dislike him, because he DID choose to betray James and Lily, but at least in this one-shot I can understand him a bit better.

As for the language, it was mostly beautifully written. I loved the part where you described the clouds in the sky, and my favourite paragraph was the one that begins with: "Gone were the days when four schoolboys..." It was so brilliant, and so touching. I do have a small suggestion when it comes to your language, though. Sometimes I thought you were a bit repetitive. At some point in the beginning, you wrote 'Peter' many times, and speaking of that favourite paragraph of mine - the last sentence goes:
"The days of sharing secrets were long past; now they had to keep secrets in silence." I don't think that you have to use the word secrets both times. It could be something like: "The days of sharing secrets were long past; now they had to keep them in silence." Using the same words too many time can disrupt the flow just a little bit.

Other than that, I really loved this one-shot! I think you can work on the ending a little bit, too, because it didn't feel like a real conclusion, if that makes sense. But it's fine the way it is too. You are definitely a talented writer, this was really touching and I really, really enjoyed reading it :)

Author's Response: Eee thank you! I'm so thrilled to see a review on this story, and one as nice as this!

I'm glad you felt sorry for Peter (one of my goals when I wrote it was to see if it was possible to feel sorry for such a repulsive character!) And you're right - while he never would have made the move to switch sides on his own, and he didn't have much of a choice, he did have one, and he chose Voldemort.

And thank you for the sweet compliments about my writing style :) I'll go back and fix some of the repetition you mentioned - I do have a tendency to do that.

As for the ending, I meant for it to end on a kind of unfinished note, actually. As it is, he has just given in to Voldemort, feeling guilty and is wondering if there's a way out of what he's done. You already know what happens next, but I didn't include it because I didn't think it would add anything new to Peter's soup of angsty feelings.

Thank you SO much for your review!! :)

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Review #43, by marauder5Fred and George: Spies Like Us: To Become a Spy

23rd June 2013:
Hello! I'm here for the review tag.

Okay, so I just had to read this story, because Fred and George are simply awesome! I love the image you created of their shop in the beginning. For some reason, I especially enjoyed George entering, his arms full of boxes with fake wand. I don't know why, but it stood out to me and made the whole scene seem so real!

As for characterisation, I had expected the twins to act a little bit more... Fred and George-y. You know, crack a few jokes to each other before the girls enter, and then treating the girls in a more joking way, if that makes any sense. To be honest, I felt like they just were a bit too serious the whole way through (although it makes sense that they were after the Death Eater attack).

As for the plot, it might be AU, but it was brilliant! Having them call for the Death Eaters was really unexpected, and such a twist! I did not see it coming, and it is the best part about this story! I really thought it was perfect, and I agree with you that it makes sense for them to do anything to get in the order. It's a bit strange that they can't join already, now that they are of age. Perhaps Molly is begging Dumbledore not to let them in.

Speaking of Dumbledore, I'm really glad that they turned to him, and as always, he gave them the most perfect advice and solved the situation with his wisdom. I'm sure Molly woud have been thrilled to hear that they were going back to school too ;)

All in all, this was really good. As I said, the only thing you could work in is the characterisation of Fred and George. Other than that, I really enjoyed this!! :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've added a note to work on Fred and George's characterization a little more at the beginning.

It seems like Molly didn't want any of her children to be in the Order, even though Bill and Charlie had joined.

With the Extendable Ears and how they kept trying to get information all throughout the book, I wondered how they would be as spies. :)

If I remember right, I think that having them call the Death Eaters instead of the Order was a "what if" question. :I

Dumbledore always seems to know just the right answer. And yes, Molly would have been thrilled when she heard they wanted to finish school.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #44, by marauder5The Girl from Slytherin : The Boy from Ravenclaw

23rd June 2013:
Okay, so I feel like if this story had been called The Boy from Ravenclaw instead, I still would have loved it! Terry's POV was absolutely great: please tell me you might try it out again??

I think that if I would have known Terry in real life, I would have been a little bit in love with him too. He's just so amazing and kind and GOOD! Okay, don't worry, I won't waste this review on obsessing over how wonderful of a character he is - let's talk about the actual chapter too.

As for Bentley Wickham, I'm sure something happened to his family. It must be something like that. When Terry thought about Anthoney's secret, I figured he must be the Muggleborn that Taurus goes out with, but then Demetria called him a 'blood traitor' rather than a 'mudblood', so I guess he's not a Muggleborn after all. And then it hit me that maybe Wickham is Taurus' secret boyfriend, and so they targeted his family? Well, it's sort of farfetched. But I do think that Wickham's family has been attacked, because it reminds a bit of how they take Hannah Abbot from class to tell her that her mother has died.

I do have something to point out about the Charms class. Aren't the students divided, so that for example Ravenclaw might have their class with Gryffindor, and then Hufflepuff with Slytherin? Would they really be together, all of them? I don't think so, but I might be wrong.

I loved the little detail of Terry thinking that both he and Hermione chose Muggle Studies because it's a reminder of their childhood and their families back home. It was so sweet, and definitely believable :)

And then Terry was just being wonderful again and visited Professor Burbage and offered her support. It's horrible tings like Burbage's friend dying that reminds both Terry and me as a reader that there are still such horrible things going on out there. With Margaret Macauley's death, I wonder who will take care of the subsription of her magazines. Will Tor's subscription be revealed to the wrong people? I hope not.

What happened with the first years was so terrible! I really thought that the little boy was dead, and I was preparing to feel sad and (even more) angry with the Slytherins, but then Madame Pomfrey was able to save him. Thank God. and Thank God for Anthony and Terry being so amazing in that moment.

I feel so bad for Tor, though. I'm glad that the professors seem to believe her, but I wonder what her housemates will do to her now. After all, she tried to stop them, and she betrayed Demetria. I'm not sure if covering for the others will make up for it. :( And then Demetria had to go and reveal that Tor's father is a Death Eater! Poor Terry! My guess is that now he'll take Padma's offer and go out with what's-her-name again, and Tor will be ALL alone (at least, she will be if her friends don't forgive her).

And now Anthony knows about them, doesn't he? But he won't tell anyone. At least it was Terry's friends who found out and not Tor's - imagine if they'd find out about that after what she did to them... Well, things are not looking good. Which is not very surprising - I think that their relationship was doomed from the beginning. But I still keep my fingers crossed for them.

I'm also wondering why Terry still needs Polyjuice Potion. He's done with his prank now, isn't he?

Oh man, this story is just too good to be true! It has grown to become my absolute favourite fan fiction ever!! :D I'll be waiting eagerly for the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hola! :)

I'll admit I was so excited to hear what you thought of this chapter and of Terry's POV! You always have such thoughtful observations and reactions to the story, and knowing you loved it is high praise indeed! :)

I definitely think I'll be trying out Terry's POV again, I loved writing him! He's so witty, but also such a good guy, and I think I'd love him too were he real! I liked getting to know him and his understanding of Hogwarts beyond Tor in this chapter, and have lots of other ideas for what he gets up to!

Ah, I love your predictions! Poor Bentley, of course something bad has happened and it is a very good guess that it has something to do with Voldy!

That's a good point about Charms class, I'll have to double-check! I thought in NEWTs all the sixth years were in one class, since I thought in the Potions class all four Houses were together, but could be wrong! :)

I'm glad you liked the Muggle Studies part, and Terry's connection with Hermione. Harry and his friends don't make appearances very often in this story, but I loved giving Hermione some time in the spotlight, I feel like she and Terry would get along. I know, poor Macauley and poor Burbage! :( It's just the horrible events coming in to infiltrate Hogwarts and Terry and Tor's lives, and is so sad.

I considered having him die, but figured it wouldn't fit with canon since a student death would have been widely known. It was very awful of the Slytherins, though most of them will get off thanks to Tor's silence and the idea that it was an "accident" gone terribly wrong.

Yes, things are starting to look bleak for Tor, and for her and Terry! :( This whole post-holidays section is so dramatic and I feel terrible for putting these characters through these things! I have my fingers crossed too! :)

Thank you for your amazing review! :) You're the best! Aw, your favourite fan fiction, that makes me SO happy! Thank you thank you thank you! :D

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Review #45, by marauder5In a Family Way: Epilogue

23rd June 2013:
This was the perfect ending to a really sweet story! I've always imagined Harry being a bit insecure about becoming a father, since he's never really had a stable father figure in his own life. It's nice how James can give Harry a bit of advice, though.

And then you reminded me in the sweetest way that Harry did have a father figure all along, someone to look up to. Arthur. That was just perfect. The last paragraph was absolutely wonderful, and I think it was the perfect conclusion to the end the story.

I've really loved this story! I'm a bit sad that it's over, but it's perfect the way it is, so I guess it shouldn't be longer. Good luck in writing other stories, and I hope to see you again when you post a new one :)

Author's Response: Arthur is a lot of things that make him seem kind of odd and out of step with the rest of the world. But when it comes to being a father, he is unbelievably good. He and Molly took Harry into their hearts from the moment Ron began writing home about him. Harry was always going to find help there.
I'm so glad you believe the story to be wrapped up well. I haven't ever contemplated continuing it for that reason. People ask what happens next, and I have to tell them, "A lot of late nights and diapers, that's what. Nothing exciting to anyone but the new parents. This story is over." And I'm glad you agree. Thanks for sticking with it. ~GW

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Review #46, by marauder5Magpie: Knockturn Alley

23rd June 2013:
Okay, so this was the perfect way to continue to the story for many reasons. Since we didn't really learn much about Veirty's background in Chapter 1, I think that was my favourite part about this chapter. I really like the fact that her father married a Muggle, and that he wasn't evil just because he had a shop in Knockturn Alley! Also, Borgin doesn't seem bad either - he's like a nice old uncle to Verity, isn't he? I think I like him (at least so far). The story of her parents was very good, and the fact that Mrs Burke stayed out of Knockturn Alley after her husband's death was believable, and also made the story of Verity claiming her share of the shop much more interesting, because we got to see it through her eyes for the first time. The small details of it all really brings it to life - like the fact that Borgin stops her from touching the necklace that Malfoy will give Katie Bell later on. How very JKRish of you (yes, I'll pretend that is an adjective), because one of the brilliant things about her writing is how she includes little details about what will turn out to become a really important object further on in the story (like how Harry notices the lost diadem in the Room of Requirements in HPB, but doesn't really reflect over it until he's trying to find it in DH). I love that sort of things ;)

And then George popped into the shop and just made me fall in love with this chapter! Next to Ron and Ginny, he is one of my favourite characters, and you, my dear, have portrayed him perfectly. I might has well have been reading the original HP books when I read the conversation between the two of them. So yes, you're going to do just fine in writing a story about him ;) Well, actually, you'll do it brilliantly, as always.

It was quite a nice detail that she didn't recognize him at first, which I think says a lot about her. After all, most people, older or younger than them, would know the Weasley twins' faces, as they definitely attract attention wherever they go at Hogwarts. But I guess Verity wasn't interested in their pranks when she went to Hogwarts, which makes her friendship with Percy's girlfriend much more believable. Also, she's the girl who'll work at their shop later on, right? That means that she'll probably change a bit after hanging out with the twins, and that she'll stop working at Borgin & Burkes? I wonder what will happen - maybe it will be too risky for her, because her mum is a Muggle? I don't know..

One detail that really stood out to me was Fred not being able to come, because he'd been testing their product - and George saying that he'd only been making bullfrog sounds for the last couple of days. Haha, the idea of it was so funny, and so typical for their inventions that we see them testing out while still at Hogwarts. I loved it! :D

And oh, I wonder who else died... my first thought was Sebastian. Maybe someone is out to get Verity? But that would just be so cruel to the poor girl! Of course, cruelty is becoming ordinary at those times in Wizarding UK, isn't it? Whoever the victim is, I can't wait to find out in the next chapter. I also really want to know who's behind it. And of course, I look forward to more interaction between George and Verity!

This chapter was absolutely amazing, and I have a feeling that I'm going to love this story as much as I love The Girl From Slytherin soon :D

Author's Response: You are just so wonderful for leaving this brilliant review! It made my day, I just keep re-reading it! :)

I'm so glad you like how the story is progressing, and enjoyed the backstory into Verity. I loved imagining her background and parents' history: her father is such an interesting character to me, and I loved the idea of him marrying a Muggle, even just to show how he wasn't prejudiced and give Verity a diverse background. Haha, I'm so pleased you liked the foreshadowing and little details, like the necklace! Also, I really like Borgin too, at least so far. He shows a very different side to Verity than to prestigious customers like the Malfoys.

I'm so glad you liked George! I love writing him, he's just so funny and quirky and had such a fun vibe with Verity. Thank you for your amazing compliments on his portrayal, that makes me so thrilled! :D

Yes, I thought that since she was older his face wouldn't immediately ring a bell, plus it gives them a little more of a clean slate. I think Verity would have recognized the twins together, just George as an individual is still a little mysterious. I'm glad you're making guesses about the future, there's certainly a lot which will happen and affect Verity and everyone around her.

You'll find out in the next chapter, which should hopefully be posted soon! :) Thank you for your brilliant words, I really appreciate all your encouragement and support and I'm so excited that you're enjoying both stories! Thank you for being awesome! :D

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Review #47, by marauder5Save Him: Save Him

22nd June 2013:
I think it's amazing what you managed to convey in such few words. The Malfoys are so interesting and I think that what you have portrayed here is the most human side of them, and the side that makes me sympathize with them in a strange way: their love for their son. I do think that they wanted out long before the end, and it's very believable that it was the birth of Draco that started those thoughts. However, in my mind, they probably wouldn't be this convinced about it. Here, they seem to be absolutely sure that they want out. I'd find it more believable if they were having doubts, if they wanted to stay in a way, but also wanted out to keep Draco safe. I hope that makes sense, haha! Well, this is only my opinion, and I guess you disagree since you wrote it this way ;)

All in al, this was very good, and I'm impressed with the fact that you managed to portray all of those feelings in only 500 words!!

Author's Response: Haha I was surprised when you chose this story. I've been debating whether to delete it or not for months now. You know those ones you write a long time ago and don't really like anymore, but because they were one of your first you sort of don't want to get rid of them? That's my feeling for this one :P.

Honestly, I don't think I really have an opinion of how they would have actually felt. haha. My main purpose with this was to try and make it so it could go either way - the Potters or the Malfoys. So I tried to keep more neutral emotions. I don't write the Malfoys much and sort of just use them when I want to do a writing exercise and can't fit any other characters into the slot, haha! Poor Malfoys.

I'm so happy you enjoyed this though, even if I half want to hide under a rock when people read it ;P.


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Review #48, by marauder5Harry, Ginny, & Their Love Story: Sacrifice

20th June 2013:
I understand that you're happy with this chapter - it was really good and really well written. I also really liked the fact that you began at the end (or opened at the close, haha!). The suspense and action was perfectly described, which can be quite tricky, but you really pulled it off.

I have really enjoyed this story so far. However, I REALLY hope that Ron is not dead. If he is, I might now like it so much anymore.. :(

Author's Response: Aw thank you, this made me blush :)
And Ron's not dead, but I don't think you'll like what happened to him though...

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Review #49, by marauder5Ice to Ashes : Ice to Ashes

19th June 2013:
Where do I start? I don't know. This was just so touching and sad and beautiful and overwhelming, to be honest. It really touched my heart. Maybe it was the whole second person thing that made it seem so much closer, in a way, that this really was Narcissa's thoughts, directed towards Tonks (which was very original, by the way. I've never come across something like that before).

I should tell you this: I'm not really a 'cryer' when it comes to reading or watching films etc. I can be touched, but I rarely cry (I've cried in three films in my life, I think - and yes, one of them was Harry Potter, when Dobby died..) But I cried when I read this. It was so beautiful, so heartbreakingly sad that I just couldn't help it. It was in the paragraph in which she wondered if it had been Lucius' friends who had killed Ted. The tragedy of it all, of this ruined family, of Andromeda's loss... it was just one of the saddest things I've ever read.

Narcissa is so much more human and compassionate than a first glance reveals, which you've captured perfectly here. I absolutely LOVE the idea of her sneaking into Andromeda's room after Nymphadora was born, to see her baby niece, and healing Tonks' wound in the playground. I can definitely imagine it. Also, Lucius shooting her a look when she claps hard at the graduation - that's such a believable detail that just reinforces the tragedy of it all, because maybe, had it not been for his influence, she would have dared to do more than he did. And now, she thinks it's too late, that she's done too much. Maybe she has.

"Andromeda's stare would turn me to a column of fire, leaving a pile of ashes beside the grave which contains your own. I do not deserve your mother, Nymphadora. So, she will continue see me in the frozen glass of the lake, a fleeting reflection. And I will see her in the sun, as it burns against my opened eyes." That might have been the most beautiful thing I've ever read. Thank you so much for writing this! I think I'll come back and re-read it, again and again, because it was one of the best things I've ever read.

Author's Response: Oh my god. How do I start? This review was just so, so lovely and incredible to receive, and really gave me the reassurance and confidence about this story. Thank you! :D

I really wrote this on a whim and got quite emotional in the process, so it's very good to hear that comes through. I'm glad you thought it was original, as their relationship (or lack thereof) never really gets addressed. I'm glad the second person thing made the story stronger, and not more confusing, and that it touched your heart- that's really such high praise!

Aw, you cried?! I'm so pleased (not that you cried, but that the story could affect in that way!). Yes, that part was very sad to imagine as well. Their lives coincided in so many tragic ways, and this is often all Narcissa has to go on to connect them.

I'm so happy that you liked the portrayal of Narcissa and that this brought her humanity. Honestly I never liked her much as a character but this story just felt right. She does come across as a bit... creepy, with all the sneaking around, but I believe it was out of love and a desire to be part of Andromeda's family. I do think Narcissa thinks it's too late for her: I originally considered having her wait in the graveyard until Andromeda approached, but decided that Narcissa isn't brave enough when it comes to her sister. In her mind, it is too late.

I'm so honoured that you loved that line, which was certainly one of my favourites. Poor Andy, poor Narcissa, poor Tonks! :( Thank you so much for this really beautiful review, it honestly meant so much to me! You are wonderful! :)

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Review #50, by marauder5The Girl from Slytherin : The Secret on the Staircase

17th June 2013:
I'm loving this short queue!! :D I can't believe I get to read the next chapter so soon!

I think that what I enjoyed the most about this chapter was the change in environment - the mood is more similar to that of the first couple of chapters; she's in school, with her friends, and she's more of a normal teenager than anything else. While I have absolutely loved the last couple of chapters as well, I thought it was a great change to keep the story from getting repetitive. It's just perfect! After the horror and darkness over Christmas and New Years, it was nice to get to laugh a little again (although, of course, there's still a lot of drama, which I love!). This was the first comment that made me laugh, that I just loved:
' "What made you decide to mutilate your body?" Taurus comments drily. Pyxis gives him a dirty look, as if defending the belly button ring's honour.'

Got to love Pyxis!!

As for Taurus' secret, I hadn't suspected anything before. But now I feel so bad for him - why, Peeves, why?? Tor might have considered opening up to him, as well, but I doubt that she'll do it now that she's seen where it got him. I'm glad she stood up for him, but I was so angry with Pyxis and Phin! Well, there goes my hope that Pyxis will be supportive (at least a little bit) about Tor and Terry.

Speaking of Tor and Terry, their reunion was adorable! To be honest, I felt a bit like I was the one who was going to meet my boyfriend after some time apart when I read it, that's how exited I was for them. And he was just so sweet. I love that he didn't get mad with her when she snapped at him. He's just such a great guy, isn't he?

And for your last question (or first one, technically, but you know what I mean), my first thought about the dead snake was that it had to be the work of Griz Goyle. But then I thought about the symbolism of it all. A dead snake. Snake, the Slytherin symbol. I am now convinced that someone knows her secret, and that they think that she's a disgrace for Slytherin because of it. I suppose it could also be Taurus, blaming her in a way for what he's going through now. Or maybe HE found out about her and Terry, and he's furious because he confided in her but she didn't do the same thing? Well, I don't know. My other guess is Daphne, because she found out, and she thinks that her sister is a disgrace for the family and and the Slytherin house. Or something like that. Well, as ever, I look forward to reading the next installment. Thank you for this wonderful story - I just adore it so much! It has so many dimensions to it - it's beautifully written, dark, scary at times, and also humorous and romantic and a whole bunch of other things that I can't think of right now. I hope you know how good it is, and that you're really proud of it! :)

Author's Response: Hello again! :D I know, the short queue is awesome, and I'm always excited to update for you people who like this story!

I'm glad you liked the shift in the mood and that it brought back the teenage mood of the story! The realms of DEs and Hogwarts are very separate for Tor, and it felt right that the tone of the story would change as well.

I'm glad you liked the line about the belly button, I love Pyxis too! He's just such a... boy. I'm happy there was some humour here as well! :)

I know, poor Taurus! :( These kids really can't catch a break eh? You're right, I think Tor will think twice about sharing her secret, no matter how hard it weighs on her. I know, the boys really didn't handle it well, but then again they still have time and they were acting tough in front of each other. Don't lose faith in Pyxis yet! :)

Aw! I'm so glad you liked the reunion, I really enjoyed writing it! They're just so sweet together, though of course Tor had to go ahead and ruin it. Terry is very practical and level-headed, and good at keeping his temper when others are upset... unlike Tor, who just gets angrier. They do complement each other quite well in that way.

I love all your speculations about the symbolism! :) Of course I can't say anything, but those are all excellent guesses and thoughts, and I really enjoy reading your thoughts! :D

I'm so very happy that you're loving the story, it makes me really happy to read all your incredible reviews, and really keeps me going with this! :D You're so encouraging and wonderful, and it makes me so thrilled every time I see another lovely review! :)

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