Reading Reviews From Member: Avis12
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Avis12Before They Fall: Valentine's Day

29th April 2013:
I'm caught up! Nooo! It was so lovely to breeze through the chapters with a single click and now I'm going to have to wait like everybody else. Boo.

There are so many things I want to say; I don't even know where to start. Okay here goes.

1) Your characters are simply perfect. One of the reasons I've tended to stray towards next gen is because I don't always think that the canon characters are captured completely. But, you, Jami, have done such an amazing job at it! I think that Lily is spot on. I like that she isn't all whiny (I've seen that quite a bit) and that her reasons for not wanting to be with James in the beginning of the story were reasonable, not just the usual "I don't like James because he breaks the rules." Gosh I'm pretty sure that didn't even make sense. Also your James is fantastic. I like that he is so dynamic. Sometimes he is sweet and tender but then BAM he's all tough, protective, and intense. And then Sirius is just so...Sirius! I believe that this is what he would be like. A few times when I think you got him perfectly were when he punched Belle's old boyfriend and stood up to her parents, when he got all protective over Belle in Hogsmede, and whenever he is with James. Ugh. You are just so good. I also wanted to say that I like how you made Neville's parents outgoing and popular, not just replicas of Neville. And your Remus is pretty great too. And just about every other one of your characters.

2) The plot. I love how everything you write could have really happened. There is nothing too far-fetched or unreasonable. I also love how you took it upon yourself to create your own spells (that's a little off topic, but I just remembered that I wanted to tell you that.) Anyway, I am just so invested in your story and I can't wait to see what's going to happen! The sad thing about Marauders era fics is that you know how it will all end eventually. I mean, Belle isn't in the books so somehow she's going to go. I don't know which will be worse, her leaving Sirius for some reason or her dying. Either way I know I'll be sad at the end of this. Also I know all the horrible endings that will become the cannon characters. Off topic again! What I'm trying to say is that I can't wait to see how You will finish this story. Especially what you will do with Alrek and Belle.

3) I've said it before and I'll say it again. The quality of your writing just blows me away. The descriptive detail and the nearly flawless grammar never stops amazing me. After reading your work all I want to do is become a better writer. I know I have a lot of room for improvement, but I can honestly say that you've inspired me to be better.

That's all for now, but I'm sure I'll review again later!

Sam (which is short for Samantha to answer your question!)

Author's Response: Hi Sam! I'm so sorry that this response has taken ages. Of course work chooses the week that I get sick to be insane... *insert eye roll here*

I don't even know how I'm supposed to respond to such an awesome review. Characterization is such a huge thing to me. With a Marauder's story there aren't too many original things that can happen. I've tried to make this my own as much and possible, but there will always be common elements, so getting the perfect characterization is such a huge deal to me. I can't even tell you how much it means that you are enjoying mine, and I'm so happy that you picked those points as ones where Sirius seems very Sirius. Those are a few of my favorite bits of his, too :).

I think a lot of what had to do with Neville is the fact that Augusta couldn't really handle losing Frank. That was her boy, her son, and as much as she loves Neville, he won't live up to Frank. It's a bit part of how she is that I think made Neville the way he is, but in my head Augusta was a lot more supportive of Frank. Giving him a lot more confidence.

Did any of that make sense? It's late... haha!

That's on of the saddest aspects of the Marauder's era. There's only one real ending. But I'm so excited to explore their life before that point. Book two will be quite a bit different and more...grown up. But I'm so excited for that, to watch Lily and James learn to be young parents, to watch the group help one another get through the rough parts...all that sort of stuff. Knowing that your invested in this story and finding out how I'll get to that end is such an amazing, incredible compliment and I just don't know how to say thank you enough ♥

You've really made me feel so happy about this story and the fact that my writing has made you want to improve. There's been a few authors who have done that to me, so knowing I was able to give that feeling to some one else is just amazing.

Thank you so, so much for taking the time to review and just all your wonderful compliments. I can't even tell you how much this all means to me, and I hope you enjoy where the story goes from here ♥

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Review #2, by Avis12The Steps to Insanity : Lesson One: Honor Thy Name

15th April 2013:
Hello Jami :)

So I promised to leave you a better review and here I am! You have done such a great job at capturing my interest and making me want to read on in only two chapters. I am absolutely intrigued by Bellatrix's character and have always wanted to read a story about her. I think it's amazing how you've made me feel slightly sympathetic towards this cruel woman. Showing her relationship with her dad is really brilliant of you. I think it explains a ton about how she thinks and acts.

Apart from the great plot I also wanted to compliment you on your writing. There are little to no grammatical errors and everything flows very smoothly.

I've really enjoyed these couple of captivating chapters and will continue to read on. Really well done!!


PS I'm about to start Before They Fall and I'm so excited!!

Author's Response: Hi Sam!! Pretty name, by the way! Is it short for anything?

Thank you so much for stopping back by ♥!

Aww thank you so much for all your kind words! Bellatrix is a fascinating character to me (You'll see quite a bit of her in Before They Fall if you do decide to start that!) I think that she was never quite right, to be able to commit the kinds of things she did is far from normal, but I also think her obsession with needing approval from her father then later transferring that to Voldemort really created the person she is. The kind of woman who can take life after life and have little regard for her own, but only care about pleasing one certain person.

Thank you so much again for your lovely review! Also, just so you know, if you do decide to start BTF, please don't feel obligated to review every chapter or anything! I've had a few people that don't review until they're caught up with the newest chapter, and that really seems like the most sensible thing to me so that you don't have to spend too much time reviewing everything, haha!

Thank you again, Sam! ♥


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Review #3, by Avis12One Crazy Moment: The Interview

2nd April 2013:
Hey new friend!

So I'm here for the review tag which is funny because you reviewed me earlier. goes:

I honestly think it's a good start to a story. Even though I've yet to read on I'm sure it gets even better. I think you've done a great job of letting the reader know what Molly's personality is like. She is strong, independent, and a little bit sassy (I think.)

However, beneath those layers I think we are going to see a softer side of Molly. When she said "perhaps" to Cyrus I think it really let us know that she isn't as cold as some people think she is.

Besides a few grammar errors this was really well written. The only thing I can say is to vary between the paragraphs and the single sentences. It seemed to me like there was a lot of big paragraphs in a row and then it would switch to a lot of small sentences in a row. Just a little suggestion!

Like I said before: Great start to a story, I'm going to have to read on sometime to see what happens between her and the rockstar :)


Author's Response: Hello!

I really do need to go back and edit this at some point! People keep mentioning the grammatical mistakes and I know I still have a lot to work on with my writing!

I'm glad you can see that there are two sides to Molly, and that her softer side comes across as well. Thanks for your CC and the review!

nott theodore :)

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Review #4, by Avis12The Steps to Insanity : Prologue

2nd April 2013:
Wow. Great writing. I'm certainly intrigued to see where this story goes. Good luck with your goal to add a new chapter every other Saturday!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a review! I'm crossing my fingers I can stick to the posting schedule ;)!


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Review #5, by Avis12In My Head: Holding On

14th March 2013:
So I read In My Blood a while ago and loved it (of course!) and it's looking like this story is going to be just as good. I have to tell you that I loved the part where you wrote, "I will cease to exist, and you will have nothing but the mere memory of me." It was such a minor part in the story but it brought me right back to the Chamber of Secrets. Now that I'm writing this I really hope that you meant to allude to the second book otherwise I'm going to feel really dumb. I appreciate the little things as you can see.
Fantastic job so far,

Author's Response: Hiya! :) Glad you enjoyed it! And thank you. And you're completely right- I had that in mind (hence Ginny and Harry's reaction) when I wrote it. I love little snippets like that scattered about and referencing the originals, because the originals are always the best. I can tell- and I really love it when the little things are noticed, so thank you.
Thank you very much,

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Review #6, by Avis12The Art of Breathing.: Endings.

13th January 2013:
I'm not entirely sure how to word this, probably because I don't review all that often. I guess the only way to stress how much I loved this story is to tell you that I read it twice! I have never before been compelled to re-read a story on this website. To top it all off, the second time I read it I actually teared up a little. Another first for me. Whenever the name Mary MacDonald pops up in another fic it feels really weird. The first time she was mentioned in another story I was reading I thought, "what the heck? Someone took that character from the Art of Breathing." Then I remembered her being mentioned in the Harry Potter books. Silly me. I still think that your Mary is the only valid one. Anyway, to sum it all up, I think you are incredibly talented.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this lovely review! It's always an honour to hear that my humble words have had any effect on anyone and to think that anyone would take the time to read something of mine once, let alone twice, its just mind blowing. Thank you for this lovely review and thank you so much for leaving it for me :)

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Review #7, by Avis12Beauty Queen: Ask Away

11th January 2013:
Hey! Okay. First off, I love this story so far and can't wait until the next update. Also, have you ever read the book Along for the Ride? This story reminds me of that book so much! I'm not complaining though...It's like a Harry Potter version of one of my favorite books lol. Keep writing :)

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much! I'm so glad you like the story :) And yeah I've read Along for the Ride and I'm really flattered you think my writing is similar to Sarah Dessen's! Her writing is what inspired me to start writing in the first place!

But yeah, I do see the similarities now that it's been mentioned. To be honest I didn't consciously try and make the stories the same. I actually have a friend who's best friend died and I was kind of inspired in that way.

Thanks so much for reviewing :)

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Review #8, by Avis12Jinx : Escape

31st December 2012:
Hey Penn! I really like your story so far, but the weird spacing makes it kind of difficult to read. I really liked the end of this chapter...very dramatic! I can't wait to read on.

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