Reading Reviews From Member: greenbirds
45 Reviews Found

Review #1, by greenbirdsGet in Line: Drunk and Disorderly

10th April 2014:
i am O B S E S S E D with this! the sexual tension between jordan and james is just UNREAL. you're so good at writing that, is it from experience or what? urgh, you're amazing! i'm kind of starting to ship jordan and cyrus together though- that scene in the slytherin dormitory with james was SO hot. jordan is sick, she's a refreshing alternative to the usual ocs that clutter the next gen tag, and JAMES IS SO HOT ASDFGHJKL; ahhh! i HATED this cliffhanger but i kind of love it at the same time because james and jordan! yes!! finALLY!
i already left you a note by your tumblr- these really inspired my james/oc and yeah you're unreal thank you so much sorry for sounded kind of psychotic! its all love x x x

Author's Response: Oh my god you are the sweetest person in the entire world. THANK YOU first of all. This review like seriously made my day and put the biggest smile on my face.

So the sexual tension is absolutely NOT from experience (although I wish it was). Idk where I even come up with it. Probs just all my fantasies that I have of James Potter II because lets get real, who doesn't have fantasies about James Potter?

And is it bad that I ship Cyrus and Jordan too? I feel like that's bad. BUT HE'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL. Then again, so is James. AH, IT'S TOUGH LIVING IN MY HEAD IN CHOOSING BETWEEN ATTRACTIVE MEN.

And yeah, I adore writing Jordan cause she's just so much infinitely cooler than me with out even trying. I wish I could be her. Plus she's super hot which adds to it.

And you don't sound psychotic at all, I love this review so much and I love you for writing it. I'm gonna go check out my tumblr now, thanks for checking it out! OKAY BYE FOR NOW LOVE YOU

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Review #2, by greenbirdsThe Wild Youth: The Discovery

2nd April 2014:
lovelovelovelove this! my favourite thing about it is the characters- they're so realistically written, you know? you don't smooth over their flaws but you bring them out and embrace them, and that's what makes them so vivid and exciting. jenelle's internal monologue has a fantastic range from witty and sharp to sensitive and it's all very relative; the james/alex/jenelle triangle is SO well done, i'm just so excited to read more! an d the plot, too- so original and it could be a bit risque but you've pulled it off magnificently. please update soon! bea x

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Review #3, by greenbirdsThe Girl from Slytherin : The Fall of the Ministry

30th March 2014:
omfg omfg omfg omfg what do i do? what can i DO, everytime i read this story i fall just a little bit more in love with it all! your scenes grip me until i can't take my eyes off the screen; my heartbeat is DEFinitely not regular. this is unREAL.please update soon, i think i'm going to cry? your obsessive and undying biggest fan, bea xxx

Author's Response: YOU ARE SO SWEET! :) Don't cry, but I'm so very glad you like this, Bea. I can't wait to post the next chapter, hopefully soon! Thank you for the review! ♥

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Review #4, by greenbirdsThe Lucky Girl: The Lucky Girl

4th March 2014:
Hey! I'm Bea, and here from the Ravenclaw Review Battle.
So I LOVE Tonks and this automatically attracted me. I was really excited to see how you'd portray Tonks, I personally think she's quite a difficult canon to write especially in narrative but you did her justice. In fact, I'd say you did her more than justice, you spun a whole new dimension of Tonks who wasn't that explored in the books (not enough for me, anyway).
I loved her conversation with Arielle, and I loved how you added in that snippet about Charlie Weasley. It just struck me how young she was! Additionally, I'd like to say how much I appreciated a stand-alone Tonks story; almost all the ones I read are linked in with Remus.

"It was when her father began talking this way that her mothers face lost its hint of a smile. As a child, she had wondered why they didnt talk often. Now she understood it better."

Noo, I love Ted Tonks and Andromeda (perhaps my affection for this ship has been emphasised by the frequent romanticism of it in fanfiction, though)- could you potentially explain that? Why don't they talk often?? My heart welted ever so slightly at that sentence.
This was a really great one-shot; I have no criticisms, and I think you're a fantastic writer! I look forward to reading more of your work.
Bea xx

Author's Response: Hello, thanks for stopping by!

Oh, I'm so glad you liked my characterization! I agree that it seems like she's usually written alongside Remus or Charlie and I liked being able to just explore her on her own. She's really a fascinating powerhouse of a character.

I also love Ted and Andromeda, and I don't think that line should be interpreted to mean that they aren't close or in love. They definitely are. But their relationship grew in trial and turmoil and they knew they'd be putting their daughter in harm's way by defying social convention to even have her. It pains Andromeda, especially, to think about Tonks growing up and facing all the complications of the wizarding world, particularly in such a dangerous, direct way. So it's not that Ted and Andromeda aren't close, it's more that they don't like talking about things that could remind them of the past. They have other ways of expressing their affection for one another. I hope that makes sense!

Thank you so much for your kind review :)


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Review #5, by greenbirdsSurvival Instinct: How to dig yourself into a hole

4th March 2014:
i LOVE this, i love how well you write the cliche sexual tension james/oc and fitz is amazing! you're so talented at writing- your characterization especially is unbelievable. please speed the story along, it's chapter 4 and we still haven't really gotten anywhere with james and marley! id love to see some forced partnership or something like that soon.
this is shaping up to be one of my favorurite stories on the site, im slowly becoming obsessed. thanks for such a great chapter! bea xx

Author's Response: Favourite? Really? thanks so much! You're making me blush *hides*

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Review #6, by greenbirdsInvisible in Death: Ghostly Day

3rd March 2014:
hi! here from the review battle- go team blue!
so this was both funny and also very, very sad. you have a unique style of writing which is reflected in myrtle's 2rd person narrative- she is, i think, slightly oblivious to just how tragic her life and her death really is, which makes it KIND of funny in a really sadistic, twisted way.
i loved the way you portrayed myrtle- you wrote her very well, especially as she is quite an unexplored character. you also captured the essence of a 12 year old girl very well, and i liked the twist, of hagrid being her date. of course i had thought, oh it's probably that nasty olive girl- but that was a good example of just how nasty she really was!
the only criticism i have is it's slightly difficult to follow the death scene- but i suppose it's a bit disorientated because, you know, she's dead.
thanks for a great read! bea xx

Author's Response: Hello!!! Go bronze! :P

haha, I like your sense of humor here. :D It is a bit tragic that her life goes like this and she really doesn't have the perspective to see it for what it is.

I'm extremely glad you liked my characterization of her! I liked looping Hagrid into her drama even if it was also a prank on him. Olive was quite a nasty person. I had to establish that she deserved the haunting she got.

The death scene is a bit jumpy - I might go poke at that a bit.

Thank you for the awesome review!


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Review #7, by greenbirdsClash: Hold

25th February 2014:
this story... i don't know what to make of it. it's gotten me absolutely obsessed; i don't think i've ever read fanfiction like this before.
first of all, you've managed to pull it off magnificently, which is all due to your incredible writing skills- i'm awed.
but secondly, this story makes me feel so uncomfortable- i normally don't go for not-so happy next generations, they make me sad, and this totally puts me in a psyched up depression. i don't know what to make of this! i don't know what to make of albus, of the head, of this universe, of the deaths of the golden trio, of ginny? wow. please update soon- bea xx

Author's Response: *Slightly apologetic for putting you in a psyched depression but mostly pleased that you liked it*

Don't worry, your confusion makes total sense and is deliberate. Half the story's figuring what-the-heck-is-going-on.

Thanks for stopping by! I'll try to update as soon as I can!

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Review #8, by greenbirdsMiss Millie: Girlfriend

23rd February 2014:
oh wow, this is so cute! i love it- update soon!

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Review #9, by greenbirdsDementor: Dolores Umbridge

20th February 2014:
Hey! I'm here form the Ravenclaw Review Battle.
This was a really interesting and thought-provoking piece. My best friend was diagnosed with anorexia a few years ago, so this struck quite a chord; she was never bullied or taunted like Dolores was though.
I really enjoyed reading this, you have a fantastic style of writing and you manage to really capture what Dolores is thinking and more importantly, feeling. It's an interesting take on her character, I've read her as being madly in love with Barty Crouch and then alternatively being a lesbian, but I've never read her as fighting an eating disorder! That's creative, and you pulled it off really well.
My only criticism is that maybe you could inject some descriptions to really make the images and scenes you paint more vivid? Maybe also, some interactions with the meaner girls, or interactions with boys.
Also, I'd like to point out that you typed this twice:
"I found the empty bottle in your bag - anything else I should know about? Other than that you haven't been eating." Madam Pomfrey scolded her gently, and it took Dolores a second to realise what she was referring to - the weight loss potion! She'd never managed to get rid of the bottle.

To conclude, a brilliant piece and I look forward to reading more of your work! Bea xx

Author's Response: I don't have any personal links to this kind of eating disorder, so I was a little nervous of what people who did might think. I'm glad you say it struck a chord, as you must know better than me what it's like.

I've never actually managed to find another Umbridge fanfic, apart from maybe as a minor character (haven't really looked, tbh). Those other takes sound interesting - Barty Crouch? I've written her with Fudge, though (set just before OotP). Honestly, though, I think everything with Umbridge in would have to be creative because it takes a lot for someone to end up like that and to make people not hate her.

I was a bit wary of description, as when I checked with staff about whether this would meet TOS the response was that reference was fine but glorification and detail were definitely not. I do see what you mean, and I toyed with actual interactions but they didn't want to come when I was writing (I just put whatever feels natural, often don't even read back before posting) so I didn't bother trying to force it - I just do this for fun, not really seriously (time spent researching begs to differ - obsessive compulsive).

Did I? I'll have to go back and sort that - there was probably some copying and pasting involved.

Thank you for the review!

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Review #10, by greenbirdsBludgers and D̶e̶s̶e̶r̶t̶e̶d̶ Corridors: Bludgers and D-e-s-e-r-t-e-d Corridors

7th February 2014:
i love love LOVE dean- he's just one of those little characters who i feel aren't appreciatedd as much, and personally i feel that rowling discarded him in the sixth book when she wrote ginny to leave dean for harry. you wrote this so well, you really captured the essence of adolescent love without over- or under- doing it. my only critique is that personally, i'd like to see a little bit more dialogue, but i'm really weird with my obsession for dialogue so that's pretty much irrelevant advice anyway! thanks for the review swap, bea xx

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the appreciation! I do love picking up characters that weren't really explored very much :D I'm so glad you liked it and thanks for the tip on the dialogue! I will keep my eye out for that in the future!

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Review #11, by greenbirdsCamp Quid: Times Have Changed

2nd February 2014:
omg this is SO GOOD, i LOVE it, i go on summer camp every year and this reminds me of it! such an original idea yet it's not too crazy or out of the extraordinary to make it unbelievable... i am in LO-O-O-O-OVE WITH CAMP QUID and james and carrie?! this has GOT to happen. please update soon, i can't believe it's been over a half year since your last chapter!! urgh, this story is just so good. i love it all; you've hit the perfect balance between humour, sexual tension, good characters, banter and something kind of deeper whilst still keeping to the summer camp theme. i'm just blown away- this is just so good!! argh!! bea xx

Author's Response: Thanks so much!! I love next gen and james/oc but sometimes it can be hard to make a unique story with them, and that's why I decided to do a summer camp thing, plus you always know that there's juicy drama going on between all the counselors!! When you put it like that it does seem like it's been ages since i've updated, although in my defence I've had major writers block, and I moved countries to begin uni and I left all of my planning back in the states, so I'm working on getting a new chapter out and finished, but it might be a while, but thank you so much for reading and reviewing and I'll do my best to get a new chapter finished and posted soonish!!

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Review #12, by greenbirdsExchange: Chapter 19

29th January 2014:
i really tried to emphasize and relate to deandra/delilah and this whole story, but it's a bit too far-fetched. i don't understand how boys who tried killing her 3 years ago- boys who were family to her and turned on her when her parents died, destroyed the last thing she had of her murdered parents, embarrassed her, lied to her, mocked her, shut her out in the cold... they committed crimes onto her which could land them with many, many years in prison. vile, inhumane acts which could be compared to a psychopathic dictator at the least! there are many parallels i can draw between the four boys and i hate to say this but figures like hitler and stalin.
i don't understand how this girl can then love them "like brothers" a few years later. i don't understand how they could change so much, and then how they couldn't even mention deandra- as if she never existed! nobody, especially a unit of four, changes so quickly.
i think this story has major potential but you need to either make the torment and torture and almost MURDER of the protagonist less extreme, or make her toughen up. it's really difficult to relate to her, i'm sorry. bea xx

Author's Response: you do make a good point. looking back at what I wrote, what, a year and a half ago, it's far-fetched. keep in mind that the story is still being edited and does need some work. however, I will definitely use this. thanks so much for the criticism :)

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Review #13, by greenbirdsUp For Grabs: {TO MARKET, TO MARKET, TO BUY A FAT COW}

22nd January 2014:
oh my god, this is brilliant. i'm not of indian heritage, but my best friend is; her parents moved from india to britain when rania was one, so she's indian through and through. and after spending many nights sleeping over and "playdates" when we were younger- even being invited to their's for diwali- i've developed an infinity with my friend's family, and whilst they are loving, welcoming and generous, you've hit the general indian family, especially mother, right on. the humour, the crazy paranoia, the unity within the family against the mother- they're all qualities that rania's family share with your fictional patils, and it's amazing reading it!

“Merlin, I don’t know!” cried Parvati, looking at her dad for help.
“Who is Merlin? Your boyfriend? I thought his name was Roger!”

amazing. i realise i'm rambling; you probably don't care about my friend and her family, but this one-shot has really struck a chord within me. i remember when i first met rania's mother when i was 10 and after a chat, she worked out i was jewish- "rania! i wasn't aware beatrice is a jew! they're quite wealthy, aren't they? do you think beatrice has any cousins we can marry maya off too? i'm joking, rania, don't give me that look, i didn't go through 9 months of pregnancy for that attitude, young lady. is this what britain has done to you? i TOLD pritesh we should have stayed in india..."
i am DEFINITELY rambling now, so i'll stop. but this has been an utterly brilliant one-shot to read! you're so talented at not only graphics (it was your profile on tda that attracted me to your hpff page) but at writing, too.
bea xx

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Review #14, by greenbirdsThe Girl from Slytherin : The Dark

21st January 2014:
this was so painful to read.
"dumbledore is dead, and my hopes of escape, a future away form the death eaters, of a chance to forge a new life, are dead with him."
why would you do that?! i'm honestly shaking. tor is so good, and her conversation with ginny just made my heart swell with happiness; i genuinely though it was all going to start looking up! i was envisioning tor living with tonks' mother and becoming a friend of the weasley's and all that jazz; until the last line!
i'm happy we saw a little bit more humanity in pyxis and daphne. i a;ssume we'll see more of pyxis in the upcoming chapter, and he really is one of my favourite characters! theo irritates me more and more with every chapter, and the descriptions of crabbe and goyle sitting there during the night's events "puffing out their chests and surrounded by a circle of older student" made my blood boil. how annoying! it's just kind of like. lol can u not x fanx x
your narrative runs so smooth; your writing just gets better and better to the point where now, i'm speechless- it reads like a genuine, published book. the lack of dialogue in this chapter compared to other chapters really highlighted how dramatic the events were.
another thing i'd like to compliment you on is just how well you write canon! you got draco SPOT on- you go girlfriend. and it aallwwaayyss makes me smile, hearing about "potter" from a slytherin's point of view, because you know, i've always only really thought about the harry potter stories from harry potter's perspective.
my heart bleeds for tor, and if things don't shape up i'll cry. again.
bea xx

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Ah, I'm sorry! :( I'm glad you liked theGinny conversation, and I'm very sorry for building up everyone's hopes like that. I know, things were looking up, but this really does change everything.

I want to include more Daphne in the coming chapters, and Pyxis as well. It's lovely to know you like him, he's one of my favourite characters as well! :D Haha, Crabbe and Goyle are just my favourites in how awful they are. :P

Thank you! :) You're so lovely, it really means a lot to hear those comments about my writing. And it's really amazing to hear you thought Draco was well written - he's tricky! Haha, I imagine Harry would be quite notorious around the school and not necessarily popular among the Slytherins. :P

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :D It really made my day. ♥

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Review #15, by greenbirdsClash: Overdrive

17th January 2014:
omg. i loved this. it was SO worth the wait and i am on the verge of crying because i'm so excited for the next four chapters! you're utterly flawless; somehow you manage to merge comedy, romance, angst, action and this brilliant coming of age vibe without any issues along the way. you're the hpff shakespeare (does that make sense?) ily omfg

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Review #16, by greenbirdsBoys Over Flowers: Shake, Rattle and Roll

14th January 2014:
i'm so excited by this! it seems so interesting and i'm so excited for the next chapter. it's a different spin on the typical james potter persona, and i'm really looking forward to the next chapter. please update soon! bea xx

Author's Response: i'm glad you're excited. james is very exciting and he has a backstory and is a very strange dude! thank you xxx

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Review #17, by greenbirdsBlue Monday: All the World's a Stage

14th January 2014:
Woo! Yay go Beatrice! My full name is Beatrice but I go for Bea as I've never met a cool Beatrice but now I'm kind of contemplating the name. Hm. Okay so anyway this was really cool, I really enjoyed reading it and the description of James kind of made me melt. Poor Beatrice! Ariella seems like a B A B E and Miles, a git. I don't quite understand his and Beatrice's relationship but I'm sure it'll become clearer soon? Great start, update soon!! Bea(trice) xxx

Author's Response: Hi Bea!!!

Thank you!!! Ah, yes. Miles is a bit of a git. But their relationship will be revealed a bit throughout, however the deep root of it all is a bit complicated!

Thank you!!

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Review #18, by greenbirdsThe Stag and The Stars: The Last Christmas

11th January 2014:
the feels. i can't. this is perfect. i can't. i can't fathom my thoughts into words, this is brilliant, i have tears rolling down my left cheek? omg ok ah this is brilliant ily bye

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much. I tried really hard on this one. I'm glad that someone appreciated it. x

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Review #19, by greenbirdsJust A Pretty Face: 10th Anniversary

11th January 2014:
omg wow! what a plot twist- i so did not see that coming. obviously it's sad that he's blind but it's also very bittersweet. this is the perfect fluff and the ending put a smile on my face; i loved it! the only criticism i have is that the accent you wrote in for gabrielle made it a bit difficult to follow the dialogue, but that's probably just me being slow.
no, i really enjoyed it. happy review swap! bea xx

Author's Response: Hi!

Yay for plot twists! And yay for fluff! I'm glad I did it right! And yes, I know the accent is difficult to follow, but I tried to keep it consistent with Fleur's accent from the books, as well as from my own experience with French people speaking English.

Thank you so much! This review swap was so much fun!

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Review #20, by greenbirdsDoorsteps: Wide Green Eyes

11th January 2014:
this was such an interesting read! you write canon so well. it was interesting seeing petunia's reaction and vernon made me chuckle :p good one!

Author's Response: Yay, I'm glad you found this interesting! This is my second real go at writing canon, and I'm really happy you enjoyed it! Hehe, their reactions were quite funny to write. Thanks for the review! :)

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Review #21, by greenbirdsLike a House on Fire: A First Time for Everything

11th January 2014:
hey! so i really enjoyed this- sirius/oc stories are my weakness so this automatically intrigued me. i like how only four characters were introduced this chapter; it defined who were the key players and what they were like. it was also a lot easier to follow! millie sounds great and james sounds like a babe. it's quite short, granted, but what needs to be said has been said. the opening description was really intense and i'm really interested to see how you develop that!
the only critism i have is the lack of scenery. to slow down the chapter and to pace it out- because at times it was a bit snappy from dialogue to dialogue- maybe introduce descriptions of her surroundings, scents, what lily/sirius/james look like, background stories, etc. i'm more than happy to help you with that on the archives! bea x

Author's Response: Hello! I have a bit of a soft spot for Sirius/OC as well, so I couldn't help but write this.

Thank you so much for your wonderful words of praise as well as your criticisms. I know this isn't really an excuse, but this was the first fanfiction I'd ever written, so much of this makes me cringe. I still struggle with description, and I really like your suggestions about where I might be able to add things - especially the scents! What a fabulous idea! Thank you so much for your help! Once I finally finish this, major editing shall occur!

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Review #22, by greenbirdsCanis Major: Wanting Warmth

7th January 2014:
keira is unbelievable. as an idealistic and insecure teenage girl, i can relate to her so much- can't thank you enough for creating this character! she is a shining beacon amongst a sea of pretty stereotypes and annoying girlfriends. you rule. i already wrote you a really long note on tumblr, hahaha, i just wanted to write a note here. bea xx

Author's Response: Ah, I have found you! Thank you so much! I'll respond to that as soon as I can, but things have been pretty crazy in my life lately. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Seriously. I've tried so hard to make Keira believable, so I'm so glad that she is for someone.

- Adele ^_^ xx

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Review #23, by greenbirdsDead and George: The Mirror of Erised

3rd January 2014:
this is incredible. you've captured fred and george perfectly, and i admire how you didn't have them to be the same when they were teenagers; george is a family man and a much more older and wiser man, and fred is- rightly- bitter over seeing his twin brother lead the life he couldn't have. i'm choking up a bit, hahahaha. oh my god, the last sentence. i'm an emotional wreck.

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Review #24, by greenbirdsfleshwounds.: we found each other hungry.

3rd January 2014:
this really surprised me, because it was written really well, but it's very abstract and i found myself having to re-read whole sentences to understand. i liked how you completely discarded any physicality the two have and yet through comparing their spirits, or souls or their love? i interpreted it as lust, for each other to other inhumane things- such as the stars and food- you, in essence, completely distorted them as a duo to something far more powerful than just pure beings. which is ironic, because that's what tom is all about, isn't it? how humanity, especially wizarding humanity, is the peak of all nature and eternity. yet his feelings for minerva extend far greater than that. i don't know, that's just how i interpreted it.

Author's Response: yes it was definitely very abstract and open to interpretation, and i love your interpretation of it! i imagine them as wanting something beyond just physicality, and i always think of tom as someone trying to transcend humanity, and in this one-shot, bring minerva along with him. thank you so much for this wonderful review! ♥

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Review #25, by greenbirdsPuncture: The Voices

3rd January 2014:
I really don't know what to make of this, Nadia! (It is Nadia, right? From what I've sussed out from the forums, haha). You just write SO well.
I will admit, it was the banner that caught my attention, but the story took my breathe away. Over the past few days I've grown a bit attached to Theodore Nott as I've suddenly embarked on a Theodore Nott story spree, reading everything I can about him. This was a really interesting side to Theodore; more importantly, it was an interesting side to his mother but most of all, his father, who tossed him and Edith away and I have my suspicions of him being quite an abusive man. I suppose he is a Death Eater, but still, his cruelty and disregarding nature towards his wife and son threw me off a bit!
Another incredible one-shot, Bea x

Author's Response: Hello Bea! I'm a late responder, and an out-of-order responder as well haha :P

And yes, my name is Nadia you've "sussed out" correctly ;)

AND WHOA, THANK YOU! The banner is supercalliomgamazing I know. The artists at TDA are great, and I especially love their UFG topics. I practically live there when I'm not on the forums.

It's this story that makes me love Theodore so much now. I'm determined to write more of him, hopefully romance, and most definitely slash if I get time.

I don't know if Edwin is abusive. He was initially going to be, but then I didn't want that. I thought Edith and Theo both have gone through too much. I just think Mr. Nott is ignorant.

Thanks so much for your review Bea, it really made my day!

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