Reading Reviews From Member: greenbirds
  
52 Reviews Found

Review #1, by greenbirdsHow to Become Minister of Magic: A Guide: Let's Make a Deal

28th June 2014:
hey! so im a politics student, and this automatically interested me- i've been meaning to read it for ages. it's a fantastic idea, and you're shaping up the plot nicely, especially regarding laney (which autocorrects to kanye on my phone) and
louis's relationship's dynamics.
however, a point of criticsm (sorry, how annoying am i?)- you've introduced 4 characters in the opening chapter, and honestly speaking, they prove quite flat and two dimensional. there's the hideous girl with the braces and acne and bad clothes who cant *possibly* compete with the protagonist's physical qualities; the perverted boss, who is, like the nerd girl mentioned, physically unattractive and so has no positive qualities to note (a dangerous correlation, especially when laney and louis are clearly beautiful and so are automatically allied together). this being said, it is the first chapter, and hopefully you'll defeat these stereotypes and cliches.
the narrative runs smoothly, if not slightly choppy, but that's just me being overly critical. looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Yeah, the first chapter is a little... bad to say the least. It is more just there to get introductions under the way. The other chapters are (hopefully) better. I should probably show it better, but Laney is kind of an unreliable narrator. We see this world in her eyes where she is the best and no one else measures up to her. I think she would overstate some physical attributes just because her mind works that way. And she is going to seem pretty perfect to herself because that's how she views herself... But maybe I haven't really shown that enough *off to try some rewritting* Thanks for the CC though, I didn't really realize because as I am the author my mind fills in the wholes that the readers can't see. Hope you keep reading and like the other chapters more!

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Review #2, by greenbirdsKill Your Darlings: Aftermath

17th June 2014:
This was so aggravatingly short!! Argh!! What can I say? Obsessed with this as always- gutted that chapter uploads will be slower in pace over the summer. I couldn't be happier that Andromeda's pulling herself together, and I love love LOVE Nelson. Now she's out in the open about Ted and her disloyalty towards her family, I'm really quite scared about her future. If she's of age, surely she owns money now? So her and Ted can just happily skip off into the sunset with George and Lilith bickering/holding fingers?
Love love love this, you're amazing! So excited for the next chapter!!

Author's Response: Haha, oops. I didn't meant for it to be too short! Though I hope to make up for that fact by putting a new chapter in the queue today. :)

I'm glad that you like Nelson. I'm rather fond of him myself, though I have a clear and overwhelming bias. Andromeda's future is, well, very precarious at this point. The financial matters and nitty gritty awfuls of it will be coming out of the woodwork soon, but suffice to say that it won't be an easy road for her. :( Not that this road doesn't EVENTUALLY lead off into a happy sunset. Heh.

Thank you so much for your review and the sweet encouragement. New chapter SOON.


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Review #3, by greenbirdsSurvival Instinct: How to be a jerk

9th June 2014:
love love love this story! it's amazing! cannot WAIT for marley & james to get their act together. i love the new side of james that's coming out, and i also want to say how perfectly you capture the "new girl syndrome" (although i suppose marley suffers from it more than others. including cady harren.)
your characters are realistic and touching, whilst also being aggravating and hysterical.i love fitz (and i hate the absence of him in this chapter). urgh, allow the cliffhanger! when do you think you'll update again?
so excited to see what happens, and i loved this chapter!

Author's Response: You have no idea how excited I get when people leave reviews! Thanks a bunch for all the praise. I'm so so glad you like it!
I love that everyone loves Fitz. He's so fun to write, and it's great to see such a positive response to him!
I'll be updating soon, I promise. I just have to put a few finishing touches on the next chapter and it'll be good to go.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review. They really do make my day! :)


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Review #4, by greenbirdsKill Your Darlings: Hurt

26th May 2014:
I realised in the last review I left, I called you Kate, not Kat- ahh, sorry! Probably autocorrect, as I wrote it on my phone.
OH MY GOD! Ted! Andromeda! "Dromeda" feels! George! Lilith! Rabastan! Where do I begin? I could NOT be happier that Ted's alright (but of course he is) and I could not be more proud of Andromeda for standing up to Rabastan and defying him like that. It's so annoying what Ted said, about not being able to accuse Rabastan of performing Unforgivables when Andromeda, herself, did so too. I actually liked how she did it, it showed a ruthless, brazen streak within her personality that I really admire, knowing that she did something like that to a man who tried to kill Ted.
And then... Ted and Andromeda feels! WHEN do they end up together? As in, together together? Can this please be the catalyst for Andromeda to leave her pureblood society and join Ted? I'm so excited for the next chapter, oh my god, when will it be uploaded do you think? Ahh, sorry for being so annoying *iphone emoji monkey hiding face* - I'm just obsessed with this! You're SUCH a talented writer!
Obviously, her parents are going to be livid, and I can't even begin to imagine the reaction Walburga Black will have. I doubt they'll send a Howler- like, what would you say? "How dare you use the Cruciatus curse against your fiancee whom we're forcing you to marry even though this is like, the 60s, for attempting to kill your mudblood crush? We're so ashamed, Andromeda, and we didn't raise you to be like this-" ?? Ahh! I'm so excited to read what you have coming up! You're honestly one of the most talented writers on here, you have suuuch a gift. Do you write professionally?
George and Lilith are sooo jokes, they reflect each other in their sarcastic, dramatic personas and their flair for doing the write thing in a really comical fashion. I don't really see them together though, even though I feel they will? I have an image of the two of them arguing at Ted and Andromeda's wedding, George being the Best Man and Lilith being a bridesmaid. Would Narcissa be a bridesmaid, let alone turn up? Are you going to cover the wedding? Can you please?
Please, please, PLEASE more Ted & Andromeda (Tedromeda???) scenes! They're honestly one of the only reasons I'm on this site so much. They are my HPFF romance muse- I look towards them when I've been hit with writer's block- but I suppose it's difficult to compare Ted and Andromeda to a flimsy James/OC shipping.
What can I say? I'm obsessed with this, with a capital O. I imagine Rabastan and his friends to get off lightly, but I can also imagine Dumbledore knowing JUST how evil Rabastan and his group are. Would Dumbledore hold a meeting with Andromeda? Would she go to him for advice when her family disown her? Why am I rambling on, when you probably have the perfect plot in your head?
This is incredible. I've said it a million times, and I'll say it again. PLEASE update soon! PLEASE update as soon as possible! When do you think the next update will be? Sorry for being so annoying about this, hahahaha ahh wow so excited for the next chapter! Tedromeda 4 lyfffizzle!

Author's Response: Oh gosh, no worries about the name thing! I've been called every variant of Katherine out there, and I like them all equally. :)

Anyway, review! WHOO! Haha, yes, but of course Ted is all right. There is a certain amount of suspense that you just can't create in a Marauders Era fic because everyone knows who dies and who lives. I think I've brought poor Ted to the brink of death enough times, though.

Ted's reasoning about the unforgivable matter is infuriatingly annoying to Andromeda, too, but he really does see it as the best way to protect her. And also I had to keep Rabastan out of Azkaban for canon's sake, since he later goes on to torture the Longbottoms. D: But yes, Andromeda most definitely tapped into the Bellatrix side of her blood, and that kind of passion isn't always bad! Just maybe when it's, you know, sadistic.

Gawrrh, you're making me blush! You're too sweet, and I promise that the next chapter is in the works, though vacation season is officially upon me, so it may be an eensy bit longer wait between this chapter and the next. And to answer your question, yes, I do write professionally! My first novel is going to be published a year from now! It's a novel for the 12/13-yr-old age range. :)

Hahahaha, exactly. There is no howler apt for the situation. But Andromeda is most definitely in some deep *bleep* with the relatives for her actions. How dare she save a boy's life!

George & Lilith have a--complicated storyline ahead of them. Which of course I can't give away, but I think I CAN safely say that they will both be at the wedding. :) At this point, I haven't decided if I'll include the wedding in KYD or in the sequel of short stories I have planned... But I would really love to write it; after all the drama, I want to write some happiness for Tedromeda--even if that happiness is a little bittersweet.

Awww, I'm so glad that Tedromeda in general are your muse. I just love their story to pieces, in all its myriad tellings. Tedromeda fics are my favorite, hands down, even over Scorose (!!!). OTP forevz & always.

Haha, I like your rambles! I do have a plan for sure, but I always like hearing theories. :) The next chapter MIGHT be another week or two in the making...but it is on its way, have no fear!

Thank you for yet another epic and lovely review!



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Review #5, by greenbirdsShadowplay: Sixteen: The Emperor

20th May 2014:
this is brilliant! i wish i had read it before- im in love. you write thrillers amazingly, what a talent. aislin is perfect, especially her narrative, and i love the plot. i had goosebumps all over. im a massive fan of the characters, aislin, sirius, the cards, the mystique of it all- amazing! please update soon, how many more chapters until the end?

Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a review! I'm completely undecided as to how long the story will continue, but it'll probably be somewhere between 5-10 more chapters.

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Review #6, by greenbirdsKill Your Darlings: Hogsmeade

14th May 2014:
Oh my GOD! Kate! No! No way! You did not just do that! I'm in shock! Nooo, nooo that's not okay- not surprising, however- I didn't believe that Rabastan would miss out a thing like that. It's not like "Ted" and "Rabastan" even sound remotely similar.
This was SO good. I really like Lilith, and I like how she's not as liberal in her views as Andromeda- like when she found it odd that Andie didn't want Ted to be referred to as a mudblood- but she's still a good person, with her friend's best interests at heart. It's nice to see a remotely sane Slytherin, I suppose.
I really like George, he's like the King of Sass. Which is ironic how he refers to Andromeda as princess, but whatever. Also! I wanted to say how I noticed how cute it is how Remus has a crush on Andromeda because he ends up marrying Nymphadora, haha that was a good one!
I am just so obsessed with this! When do you think the next update will be? Literally when is Ted and Andromeda going to finally get their acts together?
Can I also just say what an amazing job you've done with Rabastan. He's obviously horrible and what he did to Ted broke my heart but I do genuinely think that's how he was raised, and it must be SO humiliating for him to know that the girl he loves and is married too is thinking of a Muggleborn whilst they're having sex? Ahhh! I'm SO excited for the next chapter :') This was amazing and PLEASE NEVER EVER MAKE ANOTHER CHAPTER SHORT FOR THE SAKE OF CHAPTER LENGTH PLS THAT IS NOT OKAY! I'm sorry I'm just so obsessed hahaha. Are you planning any sequels after you've finished with KYD, do you think?

Author's Response: Oops.

-runs and hides-

I'M SORRY. It's high stakes now! I had to go all cliffhangery again. I just haddta. But I can promise that I'm nearly done with the next installment, and it will soon be in the queue!

Lilith's been quite fun to write. Like you say, she's still exceptionally pureblooded in many ways, but not so insane that she can't realize when one of her closest friends is unhappy. But also, Lilith just likes drama, and the potential of Andromeda running off with Ted is drama at its finest. Lol.

The King of Sass. I think George would be quite pleased to hear you say that. Though secretly pleased, of course.

Haha, yesss. I'm glad you caught the Remus crush. I was thinking through plot ideas one day, and I ended up amusing myself with just how additionally awkward Remus' blossoming romance with Dora would be if he'd once had a crush on her mother. It was cruel of me, but I couldn't resist!

Thank you for the kind words about Rabastan! I've been trying very hard to make him an understandable villain. You don't have to agree or empathize with him, but I wanted him to stand apart, not as some purely evil dude, but as a guy who's just been raised in the system and who, like most guys, would not take kindly to realizing that there fiancee has the hots for someone else. Of course, most guys might not react so--violently as Rabastan. o.o

SO. Next chapter soon! Scouts honor! As for potential sequels, I've been thinking about that recently. Once KYD is through, I hope to devote some significant more time to my other WIP, a Next Gen fic. But I've been considering doing a collection of short stories or maybe even a novella of Tedromeda's married years. Now that I can see the end of KYD in sight, it's just so hard to think about letting them go entirely! And I do think there's lots of potential stories to be told post-wedding. So I dunno. Maybe? Maybe!

Thanks so much for the lovely review!


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Review #7, by greenbirdsKill Your Darlings: Touch

6th May 2014:
Leaving an additional review on my account- please don't let Ted be hurt, or a victim. Oh my god, if he is a victim of the Death Eaters I PROMISE YOU I WILL KILL YOU. Well no, I won't- but please, let Adromeda cover it up, or the marriage be called off. All I want is Ted and Adromeda together. I have a feeling that Lilith could be quite supportive? I cannot remember her sprouting any blood supremists views. I'm Bea, by the way. A MASSIVE fan- obsessed with you! Obsessed with this!

Author's Response: Response #2 for Review #2! :)

Uh oh. Hahaha. Omg, please don't kill me. TED MIGHT GET HURT. I MAKE NO PROMISES. Well. Actually, I can promise you that this story is canon, so Ted can't possibly die yet. So--so yeah! There's that!

Oooh, Lilith. I have plans for Lilith, though of course I can't quite say what they are. But she does still have a part to play in the story, for sure!

So nice to meet you, Bea! I'm Kat. :) And I just realized that you're the author of Fluorescent Adolescent, yes? It's been on my To Read list for months now!

Thanks again for the positively lovely reviews. Mayhaps I'll see you in the next chapter? And I will try to make that chapter appear as soon as possible!


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Review #8, by greenbirdsGet in Line: The Morning After

16th April 2014:
omfg omfg omfg CAROLYN! THIS WAS SO SO GOOD WHAAT AHH YOU ARE A GODDESS AMONGST PEASANTS this was amazing. i LOVE jordan and mitch & cyrus as a duo- they remind me of zac efron and dave franco omfg wow okay that scene was just hysterical, i was laughing out loud on the train today but because, you know, i'm british it had to be turned into an awkward cough- the other passengers weren't pleased.

“Scorpius! Help me!” I pleaded and tried to swing my body his way to no avail.
“We’re trying to torture her for information on who f*ed her last night.” Cyrus explained to him as if it was a completely normal thing to be occurring.

HAHAHAAHAH IT'S JUST THE FACT THAT THIS IS CYRUS WHO I FANCY BUT WHO IS ON ONE HAND A DEMIGOD BUT ON THE OTHER HAND A TOTAL DICKHEAD WITH MITCH the characters! the plot! the humour! the sexual tension! where do i even begin?
and then there's FREDDIE who i love love love (i've gushed more in this review than i think the niagara falls does on a weekly basis tbh) do i detect james getting jealous over jordan and freddie's new found friendship? classic james sirius potter oh wow
what more can i say? i loved it. massive round of applause and a shiny medal! this was just SO GOOD ILYSM SORRY BYE

Author's Response: WADDUPP. You are honestly too kind, THANK YOU FOR YOUR GLOWING REVIEW YOU ARE FANTASTIC.

And dude, don't even get me started on jordan, mitch, and cyrus together. I literally live and breathe for that combo. They are too much fun to write.

I totally didn't know you were british and now i'm like in love with you cause i just like british people oKAY.

AND I KNOW RIGHT WITH CYRUS LIKE I LOVE HIM MORE THAN I SHOULD. and fred is my love like i don't know what to do with my life when i think about this story's version of fred weasley cause i adore him. no i actually more than adore him idek.

ONCE AGAIN THANKS FOR BEING AWESOME LOVE OYU XXX


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Review #9, by greenbirdsGet in Line: Drunk and Disorderly

10th April 2014:
i am O B S E S S E D with this! the sexual tension between jordan and james is just UNREAL. you're so good at writing that, is it from experience or what? urgh, you're amazing! i'm kind of starting to ship jordan and cyrus together though- that scene in the slytherin dormitory with james was SO hot. jordan is sick, she's a refreshing alternative to the usual ocs that clutter the next gen tag, and JAMES IS SO HOT ASDFGHJKL; ahhh! i HATED this cliffhanger but i kind of love it at the same time because james and jordan! yes!! finALLY!
i already left you a note by your tumblr- these really inspired my james/oc and yeah you're unreal thank you so much sorry for sounded kind of psychotic! its all love x x x

Author's Response: Oh my god you are the sweetest person in the entire world. THANK YOU first of all. This review like seriously made my day and put the biggest smile on my face.

So the sexual tension is absolutely NOT from experience (although I wish it was). Idk where I even come up with it. Probs just all my fantasies that I have of James Potter II because lets get real, who doesn't have fantasies about James Potter?

And is it bad that I ship Cyrus and Jordan too? I feel like that's bad. BUT HE'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL. Then again, so is James. AH, IT'S TOUGH LIVING IN MY HEAD IN CHOOSING BETWEEN ATTRACTIVE MEN.

And yeah, I adore writing Jordan cause she's just so much infinitely cooler than me with out even trying. I wish I could be her. Plus she's super hot which adds to it.

And you don't sound psychotic at all, I love this review so much and I love you for writing it. I'm gonna go check out my tumblr now, thanks for checking it out! OKAY BYE FOR NOW LOVE YOU


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Review #10, by greenbirdsThe Wild Youth: The Discovery

2nd April 2014:
lovelovelovelove this! my favourite thing about it is the characters- they're so realistically written, you know? you don't smooth over their flaws but you bring them out and embrace them, and that's what makes them so vivid and exciting. jenelle's internal monologue has a fantastic range from witty and sharp to sensitive and it's all very relative; the james/alex/jenelle triangle is SO well done, i'm just so excited to read more! an d the plot, too- so original and it could be a bit risque but you've pulled it off magnificently. please update soon! bea x

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Review #11, by greenbirdsThe Girl from Slytherin : The Fall of the Ministry

30th March 2014:
omfg omfg omfg omfg what do i do? what can i DO, everytime i read this story i fall just a little bit more in love with it all! your scenes grip me until i can't take my eyes off the screen; my heartbeat is DEFinitely not regular. this is unREAL.please update soon, i think i'm going to cry? your obsessive and undying biggest fan, bea xxx

Author's Response: YOU ARE SO SWEET! :) Don't cry, but I'm so very glad you like this, Bea. I can't wait to post the next chapter, hopefully soon! Thank you for the review! ♥

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Review #12, by greenbirdsThe Lucky Girl: The Lucky Girl

4th March 2014:
Hey! I'm Bea, and here from the Ravenclaw Review Battle.
So I LOVE Tonks and this automatically attracted me. I was really excited to see how you'd portray Tonks, I personally think she's quite a difficult canon to write especially in narrative but you did her justice. In fact, I'd say you did her more than justice, you spun a whole new dimension of Tonks who wasn't that explored in the books (not enough for me, anyway).
I loved her conversation with Arielle, and I loved how you added in that snippet about Charlie Weasley. It just struck me how young she was! Additionally, I'd like to say how much I appreciated a stand-alone Tonks story; almost all the ones I read are linked in with Remus.

"It was when her father began talking this way that her mothers face lost its hint of a smile. As a child, she had wondered why they didnt talk often. Now she understood it better."

Noo, I love Ted Tonks and Andromeda (perhaps my affection for this ship has been emphasised by the frequent romanticism of it in fanfiction, though)- could you potentially explain that? Why don't they talk often?? My heart welted ever so slightly at that sentence.
This was a really great one-shot; I have no criticisms, and I think you're a fantastic writer! I look forward to reading more of your work.
Bea xx

Author's Response: Hello, thanks for stopping by!

Oh, I'm so glad you liked my characterization! I agree that it seems like she's usually written alongside Remus or Charlie and I liked being able to just explore her on her own. She's really a fascinating powerhouse of a character.

I also love Ted and Andromeda, and I don't think that line should be interpreted to mean that they aren't close or in love. They definitely are. But their relationship grew in trial and turmoil and they knew they'd be putting their daughter in harm's way by defying social convention to even have her. It pains Andromeda, especially, to think about Tonks growing up and facing all the complications of the wizarding world, particularly in such a dangerous, direct way. So it's not that Ted and Andromeda aren't close, it's more that they don't like talking about things that could remind them of the past. They have other ways of expressing their affection for one another. I hope that makes sense!

Thank you so much for your kind review :)

-Amanda


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Review #13, by greenbirdsSurvival Instinct: How to dig yourself into a hole

4th March 2014:
i LOVE this, i love how well you write the cliche sexual tension james/oc and fitz is amazing! you're so talented at writing- your characterization especially is unbelievable. please speed the story along, it's chapter 4 and we still haven't really gotten anywhere with james and marley! id love to see some forced partnership or something like that soon.
this is shaping up to be one of my favorurite stories on the site, im slowly becoming obsessed. thanks for such a great chapter! bea xx

Author's Response: Favourite? Really? thanks so much! You're making me blush *hides*

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Review #14, by greenbirdsInvisible in Death: Ghostly Day

3rd March 2014:
hi! here from the review battle- go team blue!
so this was both funny and also very, very sad. you have a unique style of writing which is reflected in myrtle's 2rd person narrative- she is, i think, slightly oblivious to just how tragic her life and her death really is, which makes it KIND of funny in a really sadistic, twisted way.
i loved the way you portrayed myrtle- you wrote her very well, especially as she is quite an unexplored character. you also captured the essence of a 12 year old girl very well, and i liked the twist, of hagrid being her date. of course i had thought, oh it's probably that nasty olive girl- but that was a good example of just how nasty she really was!
the only criticism i have is it's slightly difficult to follow the death scene- but i suppose it's a bit disorientated because, you know, she's dead.
thanks for a great read! bea xx

Author's Response: Hello!!! Go bronze! :P

haha, I like your sense of humor here. :D It is a bit tragic that her life goes like this and she really doesn't have the perspective to see it for what it is.

I'm extremely glad you liked my characterization of her! I liked looping Hagrid into her drama even if it was also a prank on him. Olive was quite a nasty person. I had to establish that she deserved the haunting she got.

The death scene is a bit jumpy - I might go poke at that a bit.

Thank you for the awesome review!

-Rose


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Review #15, by greenbirdsClash: Hold

25th February 2014:
this story... i don't know what to make of it. it's gotten me absolutely obsessed; i don't think i've ever read fanfiction like this before.
first of all, you've managed to pull it off magnificently, which is all due to your incredible writing skills- i'm awed.
but secondly, this story makes me feel so uncomfortable- i normally don't go for not-so happy next generations, they make me sad, and this totally puts me in a psyched up depression. i don't know what to make of this! i don't know what to make of albus, of the head, of this universe, of the deaths of the golden trio, of ginny? wow. please update soon- bea xx

Author's Response: *Slightly apologetic for putting you in a psyched depression but mostly pleased that you liked it*

Don't worry, your confusion makes total sense and is deliberate. Half the story's figuring what-the-heck-is-going-on.

Thanks for stopping by! I'll try to update as soon as I can!




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Review #16, by greenbirdsMiss Millie: Girlfriend

23rd February 2014:
oh wow, this is so cute! i love it- update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm doing all my best :)

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Review #17, by greenbirdsDementor: Dolores Umbridge

20th February 2014:
Hey! I'm here form the Ravenclaw Review Battle.
This was a really interesting and thought-provoking piece. My best friend was diagnosed with anorexia a few years ago, so this struck quite a chord; she was never bullied or taunted like Dolores was though.
I really enjoyed reading this, you have a fantastic style of writing and you manage to really capture what Dolores is thinking and more importantly, feeling. It's an interesting take on her character, I've read her as being madly in love with Barty Crouch and then alternatively being a lesbian, but I've never read her as fighting an eating disorder! That's creative, and you pulled it off really well.
My only criticism is that maybe you could inject some descriptions to really make the images and scenes you paint more vivid? Maybe also, some interactions with the meaner girls, or interactions with boys.
Also, I'd like to point out that you typed this twice:
"I found the empty bottle in your bag - anything else I should know about? Other than that you haven't been eating." Madam Pomfrey scolded her gently, and it took Dolores a second to realise what she was referring to - the weight loss potion! She'd never managed to get rid of the bottle.

To conclude, a brilliant piece and I look forward to reading more of your work! Bea xx

Author's Response: I don't have any personal links to this kind of eating disorder, so I was a little nervous of what people who did might think. I'm glad you say it struck a chord, as you must know better than me what it's like.

I've never actually managed to find another Umbridge fanfic, apart from maybe as a minor character (haven't really looked, tbh). Those other takes sound interesting - Barty Crouch? I've written her with Fudge, though (set just before OotP). Honestly, though, I think everything with Umbridge in would have to be creative because it takes a lot for someone to end up like that and to make people not hate her.

I was a bit wary of description, as when I checked with staff about whether this would meet TOS the response was that reference was fine but glorification and detail were definitely not. I do see what you mean, and I toyed with actual interactions but they didn't want to come when I was writing (I just put whatever feels natural, often don't even read back before posting) so I didn't bother trying to force it - I just do this for fun, not really seriously (time spent researching begs to differ - obsessive compulsive).

Did I? I'll have to go back and sort that - there was probably some copying and pasting involved.

Thank you for the review!


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Review #18, by greenbirdsBludgers and D̶e̶s̶e̶r̶t̶e̶d̶ Corridors: Bludgers and D-e-s-e-r-t-e-d Corridors

7th February 2014:
i love love LOVE dean- he's just one of those little characters who i feel aren't appreciatedd as much, and personally i feel that rowling discarded him in the sixth book when she wrote ginny to leave dean for harry. you wrote this so well, you really captured the essence of adolescent love without over- or under- doing it. my only critique is that personally, i'd like to see a little bit more dialogue, but i'm really weird with my obsession for dialogue so that's pretty much irrelevant advice anyway! thanks for the review swap, bea xx

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the appreciation! I do love picking up characters that weren't really explored very much :D I'm so glad you liked it and thanks for the tip on the dialogue! I will keep my eye out for that in the future!
Thanks!
Christy


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Review #19, by greenbirdsCamp Quid: Times Have Changed

2nd February 2014:
omg this is SO GOOD, i LOVE it, i go on summer camp every year and this reminds me of it! such an original idea yet it's not too crazy or out of the extraordinary to make it unbelievable... i am in LO-O-O-O-OVE WITH CAMP QUID and james and carrie?! this has GOT to happen. please update soon, i can't believe it's been over a half year since your last chapter!! urgh, this story is just so good. i love it all; you've hit the perfect balance between humour, sexual tension, good characters, banter and something kind of deeper whilst still keeping to the summer camp theme. i'm just blown away- this is just so good!! argh!! bea xx

Author's Response: Thanks so much!! I love next gen and james/oc but sometimes it can be hard to make a unique story with them, and that's why I decided to do a summer camp thing, plus you always know that there's juicy drama going on between all the counselors!! When you put it like that it does seem like it's been ages since i've updated, although in my defence I've had major writers block, and I moved countries to begin uni and I left all of my planning back in the states, so I'm working on getting a new chapter out and finished, but it might be a while, but thank you so much for reading and reviewing and I'll do my best to get a new chapter finished and posted soonish!!

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Review #20, by greenbirdsExchange: Chapter 19

29th January 2014:
i really tried to emphasize and relate to deandra/delilah and this whole story, but it's a bit too far-fetched. i don't understand how boys who tried killing her 3 years ago- boys who were family to her and turned on her when her parents died, destroyed the last thing she had of her murdered parents, embarrassed her, lied to her, mocked her, shut her out in the cold... they committed crimes onto her which could land them with many, many years in prison. vile, inhumane acts which could be compared to a psychopathic dictator at the least! there are many parallels i can draw between the four boys and i hate to say this but figures like hitler and stalin.
i don't understand how this girl can then love them "like brothers" a few years later. i don't understand how they could change so much, and then how they couldn't even mention deandra- as if she never existed! nobody, especially a unit of four, changes so quickly.
i think this story has major potential but you need to either make the torment and torture and almost MURDER of the protagonist less extreme, or make her toughen up. it's really difficult to relate to her, i'm sorry. bea xx

Author's Response: you do make a good point. looking back at what I wrote, what, a year and a half ago, it's far-fetched. keep in mind that the story is still being edited and does need some work. however, I will definitely use this. thanks so much for the criticism :)

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Review #21, by greenbirdsUp For Grabs: {TO MARKET, TO MARKET, TO BUY A FAT COW}

22nd January 2014:
oh my god, this is brilliant. i'm not of indian heritage, but my best friend is; her parents moved from india to britain when rania was one, so she's indian through and through. and after spending many nights sleeping over and "playdates" when we were younger- even being invited to their's for diwali- i've developed an infinity with my friend's family, and whilst they are loving, welcoming and generous, you've hit the general indian family, especially mother, right on. the humour, the crazy paranoia, the unity within the family against the mother- they're all qualities that rania's family share with your fictional patils, and it's amazing reading it!

“Merlin, I don’t know!” cried Parvati, looking at her dad for help.
“Who is Merlin? Your boyfriend? I thought his name was Roger!”

amazing. i realise i'm rambling; you probably don't care about my friend and her family, but this one-shot has really struck a chord within me. i remember when i first met rania's mother when i was 10 and after a chat, she worked out i was jewish- "rania! i wasn't aware beatrice is a jew! they're quite wealthy, aren't they? do you think beatrice has any cousins we can marry maya off too? i'm joking, rania, don't give me that look, i didn't go through 9 months of pregnancy for that attitude, young lady. is this what britain has done to you? i TOLD pritesh we should have stayed in india..."
i am DEFINITELY rambling now, so i'll stop. but this has been an utterly brilliant one-shot to read! you're so talented at not only graphics (it was your profile on tda that attracted me to your hpff page) but at writing, too.
bea xx

Author's Response: ahahaha thank you so much! this was quite interesting to read to be honest, and i'm glad you enjoyed it so much :)

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Review #22, by greenbirdsThe Girl from Slytherin : The Dark

21st January 2014:
this was so painful to read.
"dumbledore is dead, and my hopes of escape, a future away form the death eaters, of a chance to forge a new life, are dead with him."
why would you do that?! i'm honestly shaking. tor is so good, and her conversation with ginny just made my heart swell with happiness; i genuinely though it was all going to start looking up! i was envisioning tor living with tonks' mother and becoming a friend of the weasley's and all that jazz; until the last line!
i'm happy we saw a little bit more humanity in pyxis and daphne. i a;ssume we'll see more of pyxis in the upcoming chapter, and he really is one of my favourite characters! theo irritates me more and more with every chapter, and the descriptions of crabbe and goyle sitting there during the night's events "puffing out their chests and surrounded by a circle of older student" made my blood boil. how annoying! it's just kind of like. lol can u not x fanx x
your narrative runs so smooth; your writing just gets better and better to the point where now, i'm speechless- it reads like a genuine, published book. the lack of dialogue in this chapter compared to other chapters really highlighted how dramatic the events were.
another thing i'd like to compliment you on is just how well you write canon! you got draco SPOT on- you go girlfriend. and it aallwwaayyss makes me smile, hearing about "potter" from a slytherin's point of view, because you know, i've always only really thought about the harry potter stories from harry potter's perspective.
my heart bleeds for tor, and if things don't shape up i'll cry. again.
bea xx

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Ah, I'm sorry! :( I'm glad you liked theGinny conversation, and I'm very sorry for building up everyone's hopes like that. I know, things were looking up, but this really does change everything.

I want to include more Daphne in the coming chapters, and Pyxis as well. It's lovely to know you like him, he's one of my favourite characters as well! :D Haha, Crabbe and Goyle are just my favourites in how awful they are. :P

Thank you! :) You're so lovely, it really means a lot to hear those comments about my writing. And it's really amazing to hear you thought Draco was well written - he's tricky! Haha, I imagine Harry would be quite notorious around the school and not necessarily popular among the Slytherins. :P

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :D It really made my day. ♥


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Review #23, by greenbirdsClash: Overdrive

17th January 2014:
omg. i loved this. it was SO worth the wait and i am on the verge of crying because i'm so excited for the next four chapters! you're utterly flawless; somehow you manage to merge comedy, romance, angst, action and this brilliant coming of age vibe without any issues along the way. you're the hpff shakespeare (does that make sense?) ily omfg
jaggy!

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Review #24, by greenbirdsBlue Monday: All the World's a Stage

14th January 2014:
Woo! Yay go Beatrice! My full name is Beatrice but I go for Bea as I've never met a cool Beatrice but now I'm kind of contemplating the name. Hm. Okay so anyway this was really cool, I really enjoyed reading it and the description of James kind of made me melt. Poor Beatrice! Ariella seems like a B A B E and Miles, a git. I don't quite understand his and Beatrice's relationship but I'm sure it'll become clearer soon? Great start, update soon!! Bea(trice) xxx

Author's Response: Hi Bea!!!

Thank you!!! Ah, yes. Miles is a bit of a git. But their relationship will be revealed a bit throughout, however the deep root of it all is a bit complicated!

Thank you!!


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Review #25, by greenbirdsThe Stag and The Stars: The Last Christmas

11th January 2014:
the feels. i can't. this is perfect. i can't. i can't fathom my thoughts into words, this is brilliant, i have tears rolling down my left cheek? omg ok ah this is brilliant ily bye

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much. I tried really hard on this one. I'm glad that someone appreciated it. x

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