Reading Reviews From Member: randomwriter
247 Reviews Found

Review #26, by randomwriterAll Black and Full of Bones: All Black and Full of Bones

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello again :) I loved your other story, so I decided to set up temporary camp at your page :p

This was a great way to show that not creatures are dark and dreary for the sole reason that thestrals are supposed to be the embodiment of everything that is associated with darkness and decay, simply because they are so closely linked to death. I love how you took these creatures and showed how they are as far as possible from that. I like how Luna's uniqueness is established from the start till the end in various ways -- her emotions, the things she does, the way she acts, the way she perceives things, etc. I also like how Luna didn't fear death, or automatically link it to negativity. Death reminded her of her mother, which was a very interesting idea. I loved the line where you stated that fearing something will not ensure that it won't happen! How true. It only makes dealing with loss worse.

I love how you showed all of this in the thestrals. I like how you connected the uniqueness that you'd established in her character with the uniqueness of thestrals. I particularly love how they bond over this very aspect and find acceptance in each other!

Lovely idea. I loved every word of it :) Great writing!

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Review #27, by randomwriterI am, I am, I am: I am, I am, I am

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello Sian! :) Sian (nott theodore) recommended you work, and so I'm here! :)

I loved this one-shot. I was pleasantly surprised by how much of a story you managed to tell in just a few words. That too, without dialogue. I also love that you only had one character throughout the story, and you only relied on her to carry forward your story. Rose is one of my favourite characters. It's unfortunate that we don't always get to see her in stories with a lot of depth like this one.

I love your idea and interpretation for the prompt. And the way you've executed your idea is also quite remarkable. I love the description. Sometimes, I find that there's a tendency to over-describe in heavily emotional stories like this one, but you've found a balance in such a way that it really isn't too much. I loved it. I also thought that your metaphors were excellent. They were well chosen to really represent the topic well.

I'd love to know more about this dark phase of hers. Depression is so consuming, so some more insight would have been nice, but I don't blame you, This is, after all, only 500 words, right?

Fear and darkness are not always short lived. But one can do an awful lot of living in the moments in between.

For life is not measured in seconds, and minutes, and hours. Where would be the fun in that?

These two lines were so beautiful. I loved them. I think they carried forth a vary powerful message and I love how you've worded it.

Anyway, this was a great read and I'm glad it was recommended to me :) One last thing, Sylvia Plath is lovely! Gooj job, Sian. Keep it up :)

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Review #28, by randomwriterFor the Living: Stages

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 review

Hello! I'm back because I loved your other story and I simply needed to read more of your writing! This was so much heavier than the other story that I'd read, but it was just as full of beauty and finesse. Your writing seems very seasoned and well-rounded which makes me admire it more.

I'd told you that I admire people who are able to write for this challenge. You've done it again! It's amazing. Given the word limit, I found this more impressive because it does loosely follow, as you pointed out, the five stages of grief. To be able to covey so much in just 500 words is real talent.

I love how you've written her emotions. She feels anger, resentment, loss, helplessness, hopelessness and finally ends up feelings lost and absent minded. The last part is hopeful. It shows acceptance and I love how you brought all of this out through subtleties. It's one of your stronger points.

As for the flow, you need not worry at all. Your writing is graceful and it just sings, as I said before, so I didn't have any trouble with the flow at all. In fact, the style that you've employed really suits the plot and tone of the story.

Her grief drips and trickles out of her, and she cannot begin to patch the leaks. There were several impact filled, heavy sentences, but this one really stuck out. It was so heartbreaking because it shows that her sorrow is so full and that it is pouring out of her, so as to speak, but she can;t bring herself to stop it somehow. She's hurting and she's letting it be.

On the overall, I really enjoyed this story, and I'm glad I read it. Great writing! :)

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Review #29, by randomwriterFred and George and the Birthday Surprise: Stuffed frogs and fuzzy bunnies

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I'm back for the third and final installment of your lovely story!

This was certainly the cutest of the three, although I was hoping that'd get to see them turn six and 'become wise' :p Oh well, you could always write a sequel! *hint*

It was really nice, seeing the twins take care of Ginny and play with her. Though giving her the whipped topping was a little daft, they can be excused. After all how is one supposed to know any of those things before turning six?! That's when you become smart!

I loved the ending, with Percy skidding in and toppling over. He's so annoying and it's always funny when Fred and George prank him. He's always practically asking for it! I also love seeing Arthur in this light. He's takes on his role as a father really well. The ending was an eye opener of sorts. It's interesting to see that this is what set them off, and gave them the inspiration to start pranking people :p I think it's really cute that Charlie gave them his Chudley Cannons toys.

I loved so many parts of this chapter, and I will definitely revisit it when I need some good ol' cheerin' up! I loved the baby-exploding part. And how they were worried that if that happened, they wouldn't get a dragon!

Anyway, another great chapter, and I'm a little sad to see this end. Good job anyway :)

Author's Response: Can you imagine letting five year olds babysit their younger sibling? That's a disaster waiting to happen, indeed!

I was tempted to write the actual birthday, but the story called for something different. I also loved portraying Aurthur like this. He doesn't get enough credit in fanfic, and I thought I'd show him in this light, as a patient and loving father who enjoys his kids.

I bet they don't get that dragon. What do you think??

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my story during the House Cup!!


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Review #30, by randomwriterFred and George and the Birthday Surprise: What's in the box?

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hi again! I couldn't stay away after that lovely first chapter now, could I? As these are for the house cup, I apologise in advance. They may not be as long or as detailed as usual.

Your story is progressively getting cuter and cuter :p This was even better than the first chapter. I love how they're still counting down to their sixth birthday, and how they still feel like turning six will automatically mean that they become all knowing. The idea is just so childlike and hilarious, it only makes them cuter!

I love how they reacted when they saw the box, especially when they asked if it was blue and if they could eat it. I laughed out loud, and it's pretty late here. Not my best move :p I also love how horrified they were at the thought of them having to play with Percy. It's perfectly in line with how they grow up to be. Also, it was really apt that Percy was carrying the parchments. He's so annoying, even as a kid :p The ending, when they were judging Ron based on his tower building skills, was so funny! The dialogue there was hilarious.

The only thing that bothered me a little was that Ronnie doesn't seem to suit Ron so well. Apart from that, I loved everything, especially the part where Arthur talks about each of his kids' first encounter with magic. Ah! So nice :) I shall see you in the next chapter.

Author's Response: Ahh, I needed a stupid nickname for Ron, and that was all I could think of. I know, it sounds horrid, but I can imagine Ron being the type of person who had to grow out of one of those cutesy nicknames that he hated. Builds character. :P

Well, of course you know everything when you turn six. Or is it thirteen? Or nineteen? I get it all mixed up. I thought it was absolutely adorable that they were so hyper-focused on their age.

Poor Percy! He doesn't get a break, even as a kid. One of the challenges was making the characters recognizable at this age. What traits were they born with, and what traits did they develop over time? It was so much fun to play with.

Thanks for another lovely review!

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Review #31, by randomwriterFred and George and the Birthday Surprise: We only borrowed it and then we put it back.

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hi Pix :) I loved Game Over so much, I thought I'd drop by and review something else of yours! It's funny because for Prompt #1 for the House Cup, I wrote about Fred and George getting a pet. So I was definitely interested to see how you'd written this.

It was extremely cute. I was chuckling throughout the chapter, more or less. I liked your introduction as well. I'm about 99% sure too ;) As for Fred and George, this seemed very much like they'd be during their younger years. Already mischievous. I found it funny that they were actually even trying to be responsible though! Ha! Like they'll ever manage :p

The part about knowing everything when you turn six cracked me up! Little Charlie is cute too... and little Percy is, well, Percy! I can't wait to find out if Fred and George get a pet or their coveted whipped topping! Great start. Can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Aww, thanks!

I love Fred and George, and somewhere along the way, I realized that I had never written about them. I thought I'd try it out.

It felt right to give Fred and George a challenge that they would struggle with. I can imagine them trying to be responsible, but not having much success at it. LOL!

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Review #32, by randomwriterComing Back: Coming Back

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I'm here to review your story for the House Cup.

This is only the second Nearly Headless Nick story that I;m reading, so I do believe you've written about something that is rarely written about. So first of all, congrats on trying something new and unique. Secondly, I always admire authors who write for The Every Word Counts Challenge. It's incredibly hard to tell a tale in 500 words, and you did it successfully!

I usually find that shorter stories are heavy on description. Yours was the exception to the rule. It had a lot of dialogue and actually old a story with a plot and everything. I've always been interested in his death. This was an excellent way of telling it. You managed to do it justice in 500 words.

You've written this really realistically.I felt so sorry for both him and Latona. How sad it is to not get to say goodbye to your love. The ending made me smile though. It's really sweet that inspite of his form, she's so happy to see him and he's so happy to see her.

The pain of the first stroke was unbearable, but I kept repeating her name. Then came the second, the third... at forty I stopped counting. At forty-five it was over. These lines sent a chill through my spine. Really well written!

Great story :)

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Review #33, by randomwriterAmong the Flowers: She Didn't Notice

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I'm reviewing entries for the House Cup and I happened to come across yours. How absolutely beautiful! Your story was lovely and I have no words to tell you how much I loved it because it has rendered me speechless. I love how you contrast the story of the flowers with that of hers, how she doesn't notice what she's doing when it starts off, but then realises and sinks to the ground in defeat. It's so sad, but beautiful. You write so well. I love the flow of this piece more than anything else! It somehow sings, you know. I didn't feel the need to pause even once, anywhere because it's so well written. The sentences just run into each other, forming one beautiful piece. I'm always impressed by how people even write for this challenge. I've tried and failed, yet you've made it seem so effortless. I'm inspired to go and try it again! I also love your choice of words, if that isn't an odd thing to say. Not a word was wasted, and somehow each words adds quality to this.

I felt sorry for Victoire, whose heart is so full of hope and weary with experience at the same time. Poor, poor Victoire. I also think that your last para was very powerful. This entire story was, but that stuck out because it seemed like you were giving out a message in the end about not letting ourselves get so caught up that we forget to stop and appreciate the smaller beauties and joys of life.

I apologise for the quality of this review. It's house cup, and I'm attempting to be short and speedy! Great story. I adored it far too much :)

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Review #34, by randomwriterEscapee: The Wind Changed

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) This is the second successive Filch story that I'm reviewing, and the previous one was a parody :p This is odd because I thought he'd be a rare character (I suppose he is. It's just that I've found two stories in one night :p). I always admire people who write stories for The Every word Counts Challenge. I have tried and failed, but the success stories never fail to impress me. Not only did you manage to keep it within the word limit, you also wrote a very high quality story! I love the descriptions and the flow. It makes this story really something else. I can't say that I've even thought about this pairing before. I like how you kept the reader guessing as to who the narrator might be. When the clues started dropping and it started pointing at Madame Rosmerta, I was honestly really surprised. It's also refreshing to see from the point of view of someone who actually likes Filch. Isn't that rare? I personally can't say I'm his biggest fan, but I'm always up for reading a unique story! I like how you described Filch. He's always been around for comic relief. I've never seen him in this light. Great story :) Glad I got to read this. It's going to make me think for a while! :)

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Review #35, by randomwriterDreaming up Denial: Dream the Day Away

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I came across this story a couple of days ago, and I decided to leave you a review for the house cup! Scorpius/Rose is a favourite of mine, afterall ;)

This was fluff overload! It was really, really sweet and cute and it put a giant smile on my face because of that! I did think that her descriptions and thoughts were a little over the top, but it made more sense after you finally cleared it up in the end. I went, 'OHH!' when you did because it explained quite a bit :p Romance is not an easy genre. Everyone writes it, so a lot of people tend to stick to stereotypes or go a little weird with their writing, focusing on only one aspect of the romance. You manged it really well. You wrote a lovestruck Rose, but she wasn't blind to his flaws :p (or maybe she sort of was :p).

Rose's progression of thoughts and feelings were really fun to read. It's nice to see her go from denial to complete acceptance. It seemed weird at first, but that plot twist in the end cleared it up for me :p LOL, The only suggestion I will make is for you to do a quick proof read. I spotted a couple of typos. Nothing a quick edit cam't fix.

On the overall, this was a really cute story and I really enjoyed it :) great job!

Author's Response: Hi randomwriter!
Thank you so much for reading my story! I just wanted to write a fun fic that would explain the phases one goes through when they find someone they hate to love and love to hate :) I will definitely fix those typo's, thank you for pointing them out, I thought i got them all in my last edit (slippery little buggers!)
Thank you so much for reviewing

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Review #36, by randomwriterA Kwikspell Moment: A Kwikspell Moment

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I'm reviewing entries for the House Cup and I happened to come across this one. It looked quite interesting :)

I laughed so much throughout this story! Especially in the end, when it is revealed that Peeves was the one causing all the mayhem! How did I not see that one coming?! I love reading about Filch in fanfiction, mainly because stories centered around him are so funny and this one didn't disappoint, clearly. Poor Filch! Just when he thought he'd finally gotten the hang of magic! The way you wrote both Filch and Peeves was spot on. I especially loved the dialogues. They sound just like Filch! I also feel like you wrote Mrs Norris really well, isn't though there isn't much to her, if you know what I mean! The stuff Peeves did sounded completely believable. It was cruel and funny at the same time.

All in all, this was a rather enjoyable read. Quick, and funny! :)

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Review #37, by randomwriterA Brief Description on Life as a Ghoul: My Long Awaited Opportunity

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello Kiana :) I've been meaning to read this story for a while. It's always looked really interesting. Like you, I've often wondered how they managed to convince the ghoul to act as Ron. I've also wondered how he just accepted lying somewhere with boils all over his face. I'd never have come up with this explanation though! I'm glad you chose to write about this missing moment from the story. It makes for a great parody! :D

This was hilarious! :D I love the tone of the piece. The way you wrote it, the ghoul's internal monologue sounded far more superior than Ron and the twins, and even Arthur, actually! The whole dream of acting and it getting fulfilled was also a really funny touch! I especially loved all these Hollywood references. That Leonardo DiCaprio comment cracked me up! It's ironic because even though he's amazing and everyone loves him, he;s never won an Oscar!

The ending was also pretty funny. The hair and make-up department? Costumes? Hahaha :D I love parodies and this was a great one. I'm sorry I have to cut this short, thank to House Cup! Thanks for the great read, Kiana.

Go go Gryffindor :p

Author's Response: Hey Adi, ah, this story was one of my first ever written so please, please, please don't judge me too much for it!

Bahaha, I'm glad that you liked the missing moment though because the idea of the ghoul being Ron has always been one which has stuck with me as it's just so crazy and bizarre so this gave me a chance to delve a bit deeper into and see what really could have gone on.

Yes, I think the actor's egotism was coming through here but I guess as an actor it had to be shown. I know, it's so sad about Leonardo never winning an Oscar as he really does deserve it, but at least he hasn't been beaten by the ghoul yet!

Aw, don't worry, it was a fab review and sorry for taking ages to respond to this!


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Review #38, by randomwriterThe Cusp: Time

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello, I told you that you;d be sick of me soon! ;)

Another delightful little one-shot. You must definitely be the queen of all one-shots! I am favouriting you as an author after this. This is one of the best things abut this task! I've discovered so many new stories and authors and I've fallen in love with so many of those. It's great that the task gave us a chance to read so much :)

I cannot review a story of yours without commenting on your talents as a descriptive writer. Just beautiful, honestly. Your writing is so vivid, it's easy to feel, see, smell everything you're talking about. I love how you used colours to make connections and as symbolism here. It reminds me of the Scorpius/Dominique story of yours that I just read!

I love how you wrote about Padma, Parvati and their relationship as sisters. Your tale was in the subtleties. I love how you showed their connection, but you didn't really write it aloud, in a way. You just let it sit hidden the words, for the reader to unravel it. I love the ending as well. It was so cute :)

Great job, as usual! Keep it up :)

Author's Response: I'm never sick of reviewers, especially not ones who can marathon my work like you have :)

I'm not the queen of anything, haha! My one-shots have been accumulated over five years of haunting HPFF so it makes sense that there's a decent amount of them there.

Thank you for your lovely compliment :) I try with my description and it can be a big effort sometimes.

Thank you :)

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Review #39, by randomwriterCloud: the blue that i am

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello again :) I'm back for more. Your writing is seriously addictive. Again, you've written about something really unique. I swear I haven't read something like this before. Your descriptions are so detailed and vivid. You've managed to paint a picture in my mind, quite literally! The mention of all those colours were beautiful and they added to the imagery of this. I not only imagined a beautiful, vibrant scene, I also imagined the feel of paint on my skin, and the smell of freshly painted walls. That's how great your descriptions were. As usual, your writing is beautiful and flows well. I love how you've written fluff without being too fluffy. It was a fun, light read, an I suspect that such a thing is usually accompanied with loads of laughter and carefree-ness. that's how I felt reading this.

In my mind, Scorpius was the narrator. For some reason, the narrative reminded me of a male voice. I also thought so because in the end the narrator says that 'you' falls into their arms. But after reading your note, I think their roles are interchangeable. Anyhoo, congrats on writing another wonderful story, and for making a die-hard ScoRose shipper enjoy it :)

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Review #40, by randomwriterVoldemort and the Baby Daddy Drama: Voldemort and the Baby Daddy Drama

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) THIS is why you're one of why favourite authors. I laugh like a maniac whenever I read one of your parodies. If you haven't guessed by now, I'm a huge fan. I've been reading a lot of depressing stories for this review competition, so this story (and a couple of others) was really a much needed break from that genre.

I laughed so much. All of these sequences had a tonne of funny jokes and references! I love how you crammed in so many stereotypes and took a dig at all of them. The Mary Sue one was pure genius. The descriptions and everything! OH GOSH it was hilarious!

the whole idea behind this was amazing as well. There wasn't one dry moment, especially when you're making references to Beiber's terrible music, or Princess Leia's iconic hairstyle. That talk show too, woah! So funny dude. And Peter Pettrigrew? That last speech? All these fanfcition references? Your story just kept getting better and better. I love this series of yours and Voldemort is so funny!

I must stop because I'm attempting speedy reviews, but I can't forget to complement you on the dialogues. They were hilarious. Especially Mrs Weasley's. Great job :D

Author's Response: Hey again, I really appreciate all these reviews!

I assume you've come across the infamous "Voldemort's daughter" trope, and it amuses me how she's always a perfect Mary Sue. Imagine if he had a perfectly average daughter?

Another thing that always amused me is imagining what the Skywalkers' home life would have been like had they been a normal family. There would have surely been some awkward moments.

And poor Peter, he always seems to get left out.

Thanks again!

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Review #41, by randomwriterThe Passing: glory days, lifetimes, friendships past

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello again. This might possibly be my favourite story of yours yet! I really love the marauders and this story was just so beautifully written, I couldn't help but tear up a little. If I must be honest, this is my third time reading this and the effect is yet to wear off.

Your writing was amazing, as was your grasp on the marauders. You got each of them so well, but you wrote them together even better. You've captured them and written them so well, and I think that you truly managed to write about all that they represented really well.

Parts of this were sad, parts of it were funny, parts of it were nostalgic. You gave me so many feels and I can't even begin to gather myself from it all, you know.

I'm really glad you chose this particular missing moment to write about. I've often thought about their first conversation alone after Peter's escape. The one where they truly sort out all the events of the last twelve years or so. This was such a heavy conversation. There were so many things to discuss and sort out, and I am so glad that they didn't just sweep things under the rug. They faced everything, but there wasn't much anger or betrayal because they understood each other so well and really thought from the others' point of view.

I love that they argued a bit, but at least they got everything out into the open. The memories they were talking about, all the stuff they were reminiscing, it was all so well done and I absolutely loved all those bits! In fact, I can't find something I didn't like about this story. I'm favouriting it.

Seven years they’d spent swearing to each other that they were more than the sum of their parts. Sirius had gone to any length to prove he was different from his family. Remus had spent every month in pain, trying desperately to remind himself that he was more than an animal. In the end, they had caved to the beliefs they had so strongly sworn against. These lines were absolutely gorgeous. Almost all your lines, even the lighter dialogues, were so full of meaning and weight and I wanted to quote them all and tell you why and how much I loved them, but I can't. This part however, blew me away. You'd captured it so well.

I'm in awe of your writing. This story, and you, are both amazing!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for the many lovely reviews you've left me. I'm honestly kind of speechless at how kind you've been to wade through so much of my work. Responses for all them will be coming soon, but I just wanted to at least let you know I've seen them and appreciate them :)

I'm really happy to hear you enjoyed this one-shot! Marauders is always a fun era for me to write -- there's just so much angst and friendship and material to work with. I feel like everybody's stories are so connected that it's a dream to work with (even in my mind, this is a companion one-shot to my James/Lily one-shot).

Yeah, I really liked working with the idea of 'the first conversation too'; I know they had a conversation during the actual capture in PoA but it was really brief and things got action-packed fast. And they do understand each other really well and face things together. I really did want to go into why and how a friendship could last a lifetime.

Thank you so much for reading! And thank you for your many kind words :)

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Review #42, by randomwriterTom Riddle's Beginning: Tom Riddle's Beginning

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I just saw that you had left me a review and I was pleasantly surprised, so I thought I'd come by and return the love.

I have also been interested in stories that feature Merope Gaunt. While she did some truly despicable things, it is hard for one not to sympathise with her.

I think you captured her final moments really well. Her pain and the delusion of her final moments came through very clearly. I thought that the idea of using the Parseltongue speech was a unique idea. I've never read much about it, but I questioned the speech pattern apart from that. The 'naeme' and such. I also think that your one-shot will be benefited greatly if you choose to add in some description. It would give it great depth and draw the reader in ever more. I also thought that you could play around with Mrs Cole's emotions and thoughts more. These are just suggestions however. You do have a pretty nice story. Keep writing :) Maybe I'll see more of you around!

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Review #43, by randomwriterThe Precise Hour: Eggs and Owls

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Nadia, I cannot even gather my thoughts to leave you a coherent review at this point. First of all, I must applaud you for trying something this different. It's one of the most unique things that I've ever had the pleasure to read. Forgive me, my default assumption was that this was set in Afghanistan. I suppose it would fit, but it's Egypt, which is a place I've always wanted to go to. I love that you chose to write a story that's set in such a different place. We never see things like this in fanfiction.

Hassan and Sahar. Just. Waav. I really felt sorry for the two of them when her harami (I suppose you know what it means in Hindi and it is not a 15+ word :p) brother chose to intervene and get her married off. I hate how it is such a taboo to even look at a girl in such cultures, though it does make for beautiful literature. Also, I know why they look down upon it, but I don't agree, but that's me going off on a tangent so I'll zip it.

Anyway, I don't know what to say to you. This was absolutely sad, but beautiful and it reminded me so much of Khaled Hosseini's stories, and I do think you might have been inspired by him. He's an excellent writer and so are you. You painted a picture in my mind with this one. It was so visceral. The characters were amazing and the plotline was really believable. I can't believe how well you've written this.

I spotted only two typos. There's one place where you've said 'sitting' instead of 'sipping' and in another place, there was another typo, but I've forgotten, so I'll just tell you when I revisit this because it's bound to happen soon.

This is lovely, Nadia! One of the most enjoyable stories I've come across! :)

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Review #44, by randomwriterWings: Wings

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello again! :) Your writing is so marvelous that I'm sure I'll follow your work long after this house cup is done and dusted.

I must admit that I found this a bit confusing at first, I had to re-read a couple of sections a few times before it could register and click and it made a lot more sense after reader your author's note. It seemed more focused on Narcissa and Lucius, but I gave it a bit of thought and realised that it can apply to Andromeda and Ted too on some realm.

Your writing is lovely, as usual. Descriptions that flow so well, and are vivid and just so lucid. I fell in love with your writing again. It goes well with all the symbolism you've applied here. The bird was a great addition.

This one-shot made me think and it did push me a little, and I loved that about it. I haven't read anything like this before and I thought that it was fantastic that you'd chosen to explore something like this. Great job, I really, really enjoyed this one as well, for its beauty and brevity. You've conveyed a world in a few words :)

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Review #45, by randomwriterNever All At Once: Never All At Once

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I'm back, and I've decided to review bomb you like there's no tomorrow. You're going to get so sick of me!

Tears welled up in my eyes when I read this one. It was really, really sad. Somehow thinking of the trio as old and spent really makes me upset because they represent childhood to me. I grew up reading the books, so to see them like this was definitely no easy task.

You did mention your concerns over Hermione. While she may not be very much like herself from the books, two things struck out and convinced me of her characterisation entirely. The first is her reflective nature. This one-shot is completely written based on her reflections and thoughts. It's definitely a thought pattern I can see Hermione tending to later in her life. She always had it in her, but this sort of reflection is quite intense and comes with age. The second is the things she said. How she spoke so dearly and fondly of her friendship with Harry, how she filled him in on everything that's been happening, and just everything, basically. So, yes, her characterisation seemed pretty good :)

I guessed about Harry's death pretty early on in this story, and from then I was pretty subdued and upset.

As for everything else, I'm a little too caught up in my feels to even process it, but I like how realistic this was, in a way. You didn't write them as leading perfect lives. They all had their fair share of problems, and yes, being young is something I'd suspect everyone to want in their old age. I love the ending where she talks about seeing him soon, again. In a train compartment.

Ah, what a lovely, but sad story! Well done!

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Review #46, by randomwriterNocturne: Nocturne

11th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello! As a huge James/Lily shipper, I usually stay away from Snily fics, however I do sometimes satisfy my love for Snape by reading those that still end up in and follow canon. He is such a complex character. It's impossible not to be fascinated by him and his actions. It's difficult to understand him completely, but that doesn't mean one can't try.

I love how you used something like potions to conduct something like a character study. Potions was something he was good at- his talent. And you helped us understand him a little more by using that very thing as a template. How his love for it bloomed out of Lily's little tuition, how he evaluated his own life in terms of potions, how he turned to them for comfort, respite and finally, how he viewed everything in terms of malleable potions. It was a really creative idea. I haven't read anything like it before, and the metaphor definitely stuck out, to me.

As for the writing, bravo! It's so beautiful. The descriptions are lovely and the writing just flows so well. It's incredible! It was such a quick, smooth read. Plus, it's for the Every Word Counts Challenge! How people manage to complete it is beyond me. You not only completed it, but wrote a masterpiece in a mere 500 words. I can't tell you just how amazing this story is!

The ending was just beautiful. It shows how his love for Lily was eternal and ever-lasting and how he really meant his promise of always. A beautiful, beautiful story! I truly enjoyed every word! :)

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Review #47, by randomwriterwaterfall.: truth be told.

11th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello again, Nadia! Okay, so I'm always struck by people who manage to write something for the Every Word Counts Challenge, and you've already done it. Twice! And really well that too. I take my hate off to you, twinster!

I found this story really touching. Once again you've chosen to tackle a serious and sensitive issue. You've written about it, so delicately. I think that your writing has so many social implications. It's so far reaching.

You managed to tell us so much about Molly without really saying much at all. It's impressive, because each line carried so much weight. Each line conveys more than just the meaning. It's so full of depth and insight. I think you're a very smart writer. I really appreciate the brevity of this, and that coupled with how powerful this is is enough to make a lasting impression.

The line that won the Paws? I can see why now. In isolation, it seemed lovely. Again, deep and full of meaning. But now I've found out, that in context, it is possibly a hundred times more powerful. I also loved how you discussed the composition of water. But as a scientific fact and as something comprised of desire and hurt for her. She just wanted some attention.

Just stunning work, Nadia. You grown so much as a writer, as I just told you. It's incredibly. Keep writing such stories! You can really form a personal connection with so many people just because of how real the issues you deal with are. I also think it could help a lot of people :)

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Review #48, by randomwriterWho Killed Lucy?: Ruptures and Punctures

11th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello Nadia *hugs* I had to come and review this. I'd read it a couple of days ago just before falling asleep, so it took me a while. Sorry!

This was one crazy story. Never in fanfiction have I read something like this. It's just... woah. You took a really complex and distressing issue and treated it so well. You wrote it so well, and the idea of this whole thing was so unique and utterly amazing. It was a terrible thing to happen and it's so difficult for her family to deal with something like that now, but you somehow made the ending hopeful and somehow, it fits. It shows how even the most difficult of situations can be tided over with some acceptance and strength. Inspite of it, though, this was sad and powerful and I can't believe you managed all of it in 500 words. That's not a lot of words to take the reader through a journey as complex and messed up as this, but you did it.

This line--> "A for apple, B for blood. C for clot, D for dead." This line was just really unique and powerful. There were a lot of heavy impact lines in this story, but this just stood out for me.

Each time I read something of yours, I'm floored by how much you've improved! Great job, Nadia. You talented, talented person! *hugs*

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Review #49, by randomwriterConcupiscence: Concupiscence

11th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :D I'm grinning my head off after reading this. This was like one, continuous laugh-fest! Favouriting. I love Rose/Scorpius and parodies and humour, so this was just perfect for me!

I also love Pride and Prejudice more than an acceptable amount, so this really caught my attention from the very first line. The whole premise of this story is hilarious I don't even know where to start with this review.

As usual, the writing was excellent, and you've proved that you're the best when it comes to humour and parody and all that, so there's really nothing new to state. But there were so many bits where I couldn't just control my laughter. And I'm not talking about giggling. This was the full-blow snort, cackle and roar (oh how very un-lady-like of me :p)!

The number of stereotypes and overused plot lines that you managed to reference in this was incredible! Anastatia being on the team (and exploding? HAHAHA), the 'trio', GAH JUST EVERYTHING!! And Scorpius? Master Dater? I laughed more than I should have. Then I laughed at what happened next and at that rhinestone suit and incredibly touching backstory. And then she slapped him, of course. Obviously she felt a feeling in her heart because of all of this. Love. And that last scene? All that destruction? How romantic! :p (I apologise. It's 4:00 A.M. My reviews are allowed to be weirder than normal :p)

Ah, so I don't really know if I can get this across properly (because my intention was to keep this shorter, ah well. Fail), but I absolutely adored every single aspect of this. I haven't laughed this much while reading fic for a while. You're an absolute genius at this genre. Please go on writing :) (I'm sorry I can't say all that I want to say. House Cup=Short, speedy, weird reviews). There's so much more I wanted to mention, but I will just leave now. Dramatically. :p Good job!

Author's Response: I'm just glad this story is still relevant. XD I was very new to next gen at the time, but this was a culmination of every trope I ran across.

Scorpius dates every single Weasley because he is the only male in Hogwarts obviously; no place is sacred in Hogwarts least of all the place Dumbledore died; and Albus is doomed to fall for annoying, self-conscious, and otherwise-traitless girls. Who explode.

Thank you very much for enjoying the fic 8D at 4am, for Ravenclaw! Hope you didn't wake anyone!

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Review #50, by randomwriterDreamscape: darkmark.

11th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hi again! I'm back because your work is addictive and you deserve all the reviews you get!

This story was a touch more angsty than your other work, but I must commend you on how well you transition from one genre to another, doing justice to everything you write. Your writing here is beautiful. It simply sings. It flows so well and structurally, I think you've given it a very nice touch. I love the language and your choice of words, if that doesn't sound too weird. It's beautifully descriptive, without being too heavy. I didn't even stop once while reading this.

As for characterisation, I love your Draco! Most people paint a rather unrealistic image of him in post-war stories, but yours is painfully accurate. It seems obvious to me that the war would have left him with his fair share of trauma and nightmares. It's not easy to get over something like that and it certainly isn't a process that begins and end within a couple of years. In my mind, it takes him years just to make the first few steps. As for Astoria, I've always thought that it'd work well if she was some sort of counsellor to Draco. An informal one, if not a formal one. But I've never actually read a fic like that. I'm so glad I found this. It waltzed right into that slot in my kind, waiting to be filled. And I say waltzed because it was elegant, in a manner, the writing and everything about this.

The ending was really amazing. I'd never have thoughts of it, but I'd love to see the implications it has on the story.

Over all a great start, but I'm already panicking a little, seeing that it hasn't been updated. I would hate to see it go abandoned. Please update! I will follow it when you do :)

Author's Response: Ahhh thank you so much! I tried to keep a subdued quality to Draco's narration. His anger is quiet; it's inward, it's fear and guilt. His days are repetitive. He sees no hope in his days, and it's when he's desperate that the words start to lose themselves in these rambles.

Exploring the post-war trauma is very important to me, especially for Draco. He didn't even have to be a death eater--just going through the war, seeing classmates die in front of him would be trauma enough. And every character copes differently. Some grew used to war earlier than the battle. Some were thrown in at the last minute. And Draco is one who was on the wrong side for most of his life.

Thank you so much for this kind review! I hope I can finish it one day; I intended to leave the first chapter as least mostly standalone, as sort of an introduction to my Draco headcanon, because I knew the update would take awhile :P

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