Reading Reviews From Member: randomwriter
  
234 Reviews Found

Review #1, by randomwriterIn Such Simplicity: a place where butterflies hide

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I'm just going to do the quickest review and go to bed because it's really late here and I'm so sleep deprived.

I loved this one-shot. It was so different from all the Cedric/Cho stories that I've read. And it was a very refreshing change. Most of those stories show her as a depressing girl who never stops crying. I like how this is different. I like how you actually build a relationship between them and show their moments together. I love the dialogue. It's so playful and you show the reader why they work well together, something that fanfiction writers usually just neglect altogther. I also like how she learnt from the loss, and it how it meant something of value to her. Thats precisely what you did- added value to their characters and their relationship. I love how you've written them. The last half of this was absolutely heartbreaking and i felt really sad for Cho, but despite that, you didn't make her annoying an moaney and really enjoyed that.

Apart from that, this was a really beautiful read. It was vivid and descriptive and I fell in love with it the second I started reading it. It's one of the very few Cho/Cedric fics I've actually enjoyed this much and loved.

Sorry about this review. Sleep beckons! Thanks for a great read :)

Author's Response: Wow, you went on quite the reviewing spree there! Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews!

I hate those characterizations of Cho that show her as a weepy fool. I definitely imagine Cho and Cedric as having been a really cute and friendly couple; kind of like the Hogwarts 'it-couple' and each others' first loves, but not each others' soulmates.

I definitely don't see her as moaney (especially not when she's alone either). Thank you so much and I hope you find many other good Cho/Cedric fics to read because I love the ship. Thanks for the lovely review :)


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Review #2, by randomwriterHush Now: Don't Worry, Be Happy

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello hello! Back to step out of my comfort zone and read a story that goes again what I usually go for :p

I had to read through it another time because it's far too late and I'm sleep deprived and now I understand that this is a post ScoROse Rose/Teddy fic. I think that even thought it goes against my pairing, it is quite interesting and unique. I'm glad I gave it a shot.

The last line was such a genius way to allude to ScoRose without actually talking about it explicitly. As I've said before, you're so talented that you manage to convey the message of a thousand words in just a hundred. You say so much without really saying anything at all.

I really like the conversation that she has with Teddy. It gives me the sense of comfort and ease and great chemistry. So probably got a much better relationship with him than the one she left behind with Scorpius.

I loved the writing style. It's so lyrical an sounds pretty, if that makes sense. Honestly, I really enjoyed this and it taught me that I should experiment more with my choices. I'd have hated to miss out.

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Review #3, by randomwriterUnstoppable: unstoppable.

12th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014
Okay. I live here now. On your page :p

As I mentioned in my last review, I'm a major Rose/Scorpius Shipper, so I wouldn't usually go for this either. But I love your writing and I was very curious.

I found that it was very different from the kind of stories you usually write. Still, it was very sweet and it put a smile on my face. You captured their emotions really well, especially through their kisses. The way you described everything was really beautiful. You managed to say a lot without saying much at all. I like that you wrote teenage love just as it would be, no matter what the sexuality. The only difference here is that there was a forbidden element, not only in terms of sexuality but also, familial tensions I suppose. You caught all these emotions well. The passsion, the urgency, the love and the anxiety.

As usual, you've written this well :) Great job!

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Review #4, by randomwriterForever, The Twinkling Dust: Tick tock. Tick tock.

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

So in all these angsty, sad stories of yours that I've just read, I haven't shed a tear, until I got to this one. Rose/Scoprius is one out of my two favourite pairings, and I just so overwhelmed. I won't lie. I didn't sob or anything. Just a couple of tears, but you made me cry. This story was so sad!

The repetition of the ticking clock provided a really nice rhythm to this story. It gave it a poetic edge, but at the same time, it also brought about this sense of rushing urgency. I kept thinking, 'Time is running out.' It also helped set the creepy/dark tone for this story.

I like the style of this piece, The sentences are short and unconnected, but somehow they make sense vaguely, on the whole. Rose seems to be slightly disillusioned, but the whole thing was so sad and chilling at the same time. The interaction with Zabini was both confusing and clarifying. It answered one questions, but gave way to a whole lot of others.

The last part with Scorpius killed me. I can't say anything of that because it was sad and beautiful and I hope he finds her. That is all.

I'm falling in love with your writing over and over again!

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Review #5, by randomwriterDance With Me: Dance With Me

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) So I;m back once more and I was pleasantly surprised to find that you can write happy stories just as well! In fact, it was a shock to find something entirely happy on your author's page at all, but it was nice that I did. To be completely honest, I don't read non-canon stories. I always stick to canon pairings, but I decided to give this one a go and I don't regret it.

I loved the idea. It was so cute and sweet, and I laughed along in a few places because it was also quite funny. I really love your characterisation of both Ron and Luna here. I love that you got all of Luna's quirks, without making it seem too much. She's one of the harder ones to write, in my opinion. Ron too was adorable. Goofy and clueless, you wrote him well too. So, you've definitely got bonus points for spot on characterisation.

I also love your writing style. It's less descriptive than usual, but it fits the plot and style of this story.

Having lost the ability of speech he simply stands and takes her hand. She beams at him. They sway rather ungracefully and not in time to the music but she loves it nonetheless. These lines were my favourite because they are the perfect representation of Ron and Luna.

Good work, once again :)

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Review #6, by randomwriterThe Clouds and Twinkling Stars: Chapter: The One and Only

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello again. I suppose this qualifies as a sort of review bomb? :p I love you writing. I can;t seem to stop myself. But that's not a bad thing at all.

I loved this one shot. It was both happier and sadder than the other stories of yours that I've read. Happier, because you actually gave us some happy romance, and non-fluffy fluff. Sadder because you took it away just as easily.

One of my favourite things about this one shot was how you tracked their entire story in a matter of so few words. You did them justice as well! I loved how well defined each stage of their relationship was. I was fairly impressed by how well these different stages seamlessly transitioned into each other. My favourite transition was the one between the wedding and death (it was also the saddest). I love how you've taken the wedding dress and extended the same thing to the pallid hospital gown.

Your writing style is, as usual, so beautiful and descriptive. This was so well written that it seemed to sing. I loved the flow as well. As I mentioned, the transitions were so smooth and it was just lovely to read this story! I also really, really enjoyed how sweet this was. The ending especially. It was a really, really nice oneshot and it kind of portrayed eternal, undying love very well! Good job :)

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Review #7, by randomwriterBlackbird: A Tale of Misery

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hi again :)

Okay, so honestly speaking, if it were to be viewed in entirety, it seemed slightly incomplete, but at the same time, it seems to stand alone well.

I've written a fic on Myrtle myself, but it focuses on her post-death attitude. Most of the stories I see of her focus on her story as a ghost, or as a student of Hogwarts, facing her death, so this was certainly unique. I don't think I've ever read anything like it. It took a bit for my mind to adjust to this and kind of absorb everything that was happening, but after I got past the initial difficult, this just blew my mind.

It was really sad to see that Myrtle was always picked on and bullied, but at the same time it is very believable and makes her story more realistic. Even though it was ad, the last part was probably my most favourite. There was such a powerful messages, and I think that's because you target relevant social situations. I'm really impressed because all of your stories seem to come with some sort of message or the other, and that's just great!

Your descriptions were lovely, as always. It's what draws me into your stories and keeps me hooked. It was no different this time! Great writing, once again :)

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Review #8, by randomwriterAll Black and Full of Bones: All Black and Full of Bones

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello again :) I loved your other story, so I decided to set up temporary camp at your page :p

This was a great way to show that not creatures are dark and dreary for the sole reason that thestrals are supposed to be the embodiment of everything that is associated with darkness and decay, simply because they are so closely linked to death. I love how you took these creatures and showed how they are as far as possible from that. I like how Luna's uniqueness is established from the start till the end in various ways -- her emotions, the things she does, the way she acts, the way she perceives things, etc. I also like how Luna didn't fear death, or automatically link it to negativity. Death reminded her of her mother, which was a very interesting idea. I loved the line where you stated that fearing something will not ensure that it won't happen! How true. It only makes dealing with loss worse.

I love how you showed all of this in the thestrals. I like how you connected the uniqueness that you'd established in her character with the uniqueness of thestrals. I particularly love how they bond over this very aspect and find acceptance in each other!

Lovely idea. I loved every word of it :) Great writing!

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Review #9, by randomwriterI am, I am, I am: I am, I am, I am

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello Sian! :) Sian (nott theodore) recommended you work, and so I'm here! :)

I loved this one-shot. I was pleasantly surprised by how much of a story you managed to tell in just a few words. That too, without dialogue. I also love that you only had one character throughout the story, and you only relied on her to carry forward your story. Rose is one of my favourite characters. It's unfortunate that we don't always get to see her in stories with a lot of depth like this one.

I love your idea and interpretation for the prompt. And the way you've executed your idea is also quite remarkable. I love the description. Sometimes, I find that there's a tendency to over-describe in heavily emotional stories like this one, but you've found a balance in such a way that it really isn't too much. I loved it. I also thought that your metaphors were excellent. They were well chosen to really represent the topic well.

I'd love to know more about this dark phase of hers. Depression is so consuming, so some more insight would have been nice, but I don't blame you, This is, after all, only 500 words, right?

Fear and darkness are not always short lived. But one can do an awful lot of living in the moments in between.

For life is not measured in seconds, and minutes, and hours. Where would be the fun in that?


These two lines were so beautiful. I loved them. I think they carried forth a vary powerful message and I love how you've worded it.

Anyway, this was a great read and I'm glad it was recommended to me :) One last thing, Sylvia Plath is lovely! Gooj job, Sian. Keep it up :)

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Review #10, by randomwriterFor the Living: Stages

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 review

Hello! I'm back because I loved your other story and I simply needed to read more of your writing! This was so much heavier than the other story that I'd read, but it was just as full of beauty and finesse. Your writing seems very seasoned and well-rounded which makes me admire it more.

I'd told you that I admire people who are able to write for this challenge. You've done it again! It's amazing. Given the word limit, I found this more impressive because it does loosely follow, as you pointed out, the five stages of grief. To be able to covey so much in just 500 words is real talent.

I love how you've written her emotions. She feels anger, resentment, loss, helplessness, hopelessness and finally ends up feelings lost and absent minded. The last part is hopeful. It shows acceptance and I love how you brought all of this out through subtleties. It's one of your stronger points.

As for the flow, you need not worry at all. Your writing is graceful and it just sings, as I said before, so I didn't have any trouble with the flow at all. In fact, the style that you've employed really suits the plot and tone of the story.

Her grief drips and trickles out of her, and she cannot begin to patch the leaks. There were several impact filled, heavy sentences, but this one really stuck out. It was so heartbreaking because it shows that her sorrow is so full and that it is pouring out of her, so as to speak, but she can;t bring herself to stop it somehow. She's hurting and she's letting it be.

On the overall, I really enjoyed this story, and I'm glad I read it. Great writing! :)

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Review #11, by randomwriterFred and George and the Birthday Surprise: Stuffed frogs and fuzzy bunnies

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I'm back for the third and final installment of your lovely story!

This was certainly the cutest of the three, although I was hoping that'd get to see them turn six and 'become wise' :p Oh well, you could always write a sequel! *hint*

It was really nice, seeing the twins take care of Ginny and play with her. Though giving her the whipped topping was a little daft, they can be excused. After all how is one supposed to know any of those things before turning six?! That's when you become smart!

I loved the ending, with Percy skidding in and toppling over. He's so annoying and it's always funny when Fred and George prank him. He's always practically asking for it! I also love seeing Arthur in this light. He's takes on his role as a father really well. The ending was an eye opener of sorts. It's interesting to see that this is what set them off, and gave them the inspiration to start pranking people :p I think it's really cute that Charlie gave them his Chudley Cannons toys.

I loved so many parts of this chapter, and I will definitely revisit it when I need some good ol' cheerin' up! I loved the baby-exploding part. And how they were worried that if that happened, they wouldn't get a dragon!

Anyway, another great chapter, and I'm a little sad to see this end. Good job anyway :)

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Review #12, by randomwriterFred and George and the Birthday Surprise: What's in the box?

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hi again! I couldn't stay away after that lovely first chapter now, could I? As these are for the house cup, I apologise in advance. They may not be as long or as detailed as usual.

Your story is progressively getting cuter and cuter :p This was even better than the first chapter. I love how they're still counting down to their sixth birthday, and how they still feel like turning six will automatically mean that they become all knowing. The idea is just so childlike and hilarious, it only makes them cuter!

I love how they reacted when they saw the box, especially when they asked if it was blue and if they could eat it. I laughed out loud, and it's pretty late here. Not my best move :p I also love how horrified they were at the thought of them having to play with Percy. It's perfectly in line with how they grow up to be. Also, it was really apt that Percy was carrying the parchments. He's so annoying, even as a kid :p The ending, when they were judging Ron based on his tower building skills, was so funny! The dialogue there was hilarious.

The only thing that bothered me a little was that Ronnie doesn't seem to suit Ron so well. Apart from that, I loved everything, especially the part where Arthur talks about each of his kids' first encounter with magic. Ah! So nice :) I shall see you in the next chapter.

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Review #13, by randomwriterFred and George and the Birthday Surprise: We only borrowed it and then we put it back.

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hi Pix :) I loved Game Over so much, I thought I'd drop by and review something else of yours! It's funny because for Prompt #1 for the House Cup, I wrote about Fred and George getting a pet. So I was definitely interested to see how you'd written this.

It was extremely cute. I was chuckling throughout the chapter, more or less. I liked your introduction as well. I'm about 99% sure too ;) As for Fred and George, this seemed very much like they'd be during their younger years. Already mischievous. I found it funny that they were actually even trying to be responsible though! Ha! Like they'll ever manage :p

The part about knowing everything when you turn six cracked me up! Little Charlie is cute too... and little Percy is, well, Percy! I can't wait to find out if Fred and George get a pet or their coveted whipped topping! Great start. Can't wait for more!

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Review #14, by randomwriterComing Back: Coming Back

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I'm here to review your story for the House Cup.

This is only the second Nearly Headless Nick story that I;m reading, so I do believe you've written about something that is rarely written about. So first of all, congrats on trying something new and unique. Secondly, I always admire authors who write for The Every Word Counts Challenge. It's incredibly hard to tell a tale in 500 words, and you did it successfully!

I usually find that shorter stories are heavy on description. Yours was the exception to the rule. It had a lot of dialogue and actually old a story with a plot and everything. I've always been interested in his death. This was an excellent way of telling it. You managed to do it justice in 500 words.

You've written this really realistically.I felt so sorry for both him and Latona. How sad it is to not get to say goodbye to your love. The ending made me smile though. It's really sweet that inspite of his form, she's so happy to see him and he's so happy to see her.

The pain of the first stroke was unbearable, but I kept repeating her name. Then came the second, the third... at forty I stopped counting. At forty-five it was over. These lines sent a chill through my spine. Really well written!

Great story :)

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Review #15, by randomwriterAmong the Flowers: She Didn't Notice

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I'm reviewing entries for the House Cup and I happened to come across yours. How absolutely beautiful! Your story was lovely and I have no words to tell you how much I loved it because it has rendered me speechless. I love how you contrast the story of the flowers with that of hers, how she doesn't notice what she's doing when it starts off, but then realises and sinks to the ground in defeat. It's so sad, but beautiful. You write so well. I love the flow of this piece more than anything else! It somehow sings, you know. I didn't feel the need to pause even once, anywhere because it's so well written. The sentences just run into each other, forming one beautiful piece. I'm always impressed by how people even write for this challenge. I've tried and failed, yet you've made it seem so effortless. I'm inspired to go and try it again! I also love your choice of words, if that isn't an odd thing to say. Not a word was wasted, and somehow each words adds quality to this.

I felt sorry for Victoire, whose heart is so full of hope and weary with experience at the same time. Poor, poor Victoire. I also think that your last para was very powerful. This entire story was, but that stuck out because it seemed like you were giving out a message in the end about not letting ourselves get so caught up that we forget to stop and appreciate the smaller beauties and joys of life.

I apologise for the quality of this review. It's house cup, and I'm attempting to be short and speedy! Great story. I adored it far too much :)

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Review #16, by randomwriterEscapee: The Wind Changed

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) This is the second successive Filch story that I'm reviewing, and the previous one was a parody :p This is odd because I thought he'd be a rare character (I suppose he is. It's just that I've found two stories in one night :p). I always admire people who write stories for The Every word Counts Challenge. I have tried and failed, but the success stories never fail to impress me. Not only did you manage to keep it within the word limit, you also wrote a very high quality story! I love the descriptions and the flow. It makes this story really something else. I can't say that I've even thought about this pairing before. I like how you kept the reader guessing as to who the narrator might be. When the clues started dropping and it started pointing at Madame Rosmerta, I was honestly really surprised. It's also refreshing to see from the point of view of someone who actually likes Filch. Isn't that rare? I personally can't say I'm his biggest fan, but I'm always up for reading a unique story! I like how you described Filch. He's always been around for comic relief. I've never seen him in this light. Great story :) Glad I got to read this. It's going to make me think for a while! :)

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Review #17, by randomwriterDreaming up Denial: Dream the Day Away

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I came across this story a couple of days ago, and I decided to leave you a review for the house cup! Scorpius/Rose is a favourite of mine, afterall ;)

This was fluff overload! It was really, really sweet and cute and it put a giant smile on my face because of that! I did think that her descriptions and thoughts were a little over the top, but it made more sense after you finally cleared it up in the end. I went, 'OHH!' when you did because it explained quite a bit :p Romance is not an easy genre. Everyone writes it, so a lot of people tend to stick to stereotypes or go a little weird with their writing, focusing on only one aspect of the romance. You manged it really well. You wrote a lovestruck Rose, but she wasn't blind to his flaws :p (or maybe she sort of was :p).

Rose's progression of thoughts and feelings were really fun to read. It's nice to see her go from denial to complete acceptance. It seemed weird at first, but that plot twist in the end cleared it up for me :p LOL, The only suggestion I will make is for you to do a quick proof read. I spotted a couple of typos. Nothing a quick edit cam't fix.

On the overall, this was a really cute story and I really enjoyed it :) great job!

Author's Response: Hi randomwriter!
Thank you so much for reading my story! I just wanted to write a fun fic that would explain the phases one goes through when they find someone they hate to love and love to hate :) I will definitely fix those typo's, thank you for pointing them out, I thought i got them all in my last edit (slippery little buggers!)
Thank you so much for reviewing
Veela_is_me


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Review #18, by randomwriterA Kwikspell Moment: A Kwikspell Moment

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I'm reviewing entries for the House Cup and I happened to come across this one. It looked quite interesting :)

I laughed so much throughout this story! Especially in the end, when it is revealed that Peeves was the one causing all the mayhem! How did I not see that one coming?! I love reading about Filch in fanfiction, mainly because stories centered around him are so funny and this one didn't disappoint, clearly. Poor Filch! Just when he thought he'd finally gotten the hang of magic! The way you wrote both Filch and Peeves was spot on. I especially loved the dialogues. They sound just like Filch! I also feel like you wrote Mrs Norris really well, isn't though there isn't much to her, if you know what I mean! The stuff Peeves did sounded completely believable. It was cruel and funny at the same time.

All in all, this was a rather enjoyable read. Quick, and funny! :)

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Review #19, by randomwriterA Brief Description on Life as a Ghoul: My Long Awaited Opportunity

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello Kiana :) I've been meaning to read this story for a while. It's always looked really interesting. Like you, I've often wondered how they managed to convince the ghoul to act as Ron. I've also wondered how he just accepted lying somewhere with boils all over his face. I'd never have come up with this explanation though! I'm glad you chose to write about this missing moment from the story. It makes for a great parody! :D

This was hilarious! :D I love the tone of the piece. The way you wrote it, the ghoul's internal monologue sounded far more superior than Ron and the twins, and even Arthur, actually! The whole dream of acting and it getting fulfilled was also a really funny touch! I especially loved all these Hollywood references. That Leonardo DiCaprio comment cracked me up! It's ironic because even though he's amazing and everyone loves him, he;s never won an Oscar!

The ending was also pretty funny. The hair and make-up department? Costumes? Hahaha :D I love parodies and this was a great one. I'm sorry I have to cut this short, thank to House Cup! Thanks for the great read, Kiana.

Go go Gryffindor :p

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Review #20, by randomwriterThe Cusp: Time

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello, I told you that you;d be sick of me soon! ;)

Another delightful little one-shot. You must definitely be the queen of all one-shots! I am favouriting you as an author after this. This is one of the best things abut this task! I've discovered so many new stories and authors and I've fallen in love with so many of those. It's great that the task gave us a chance to read so much :)

I cannot review a story of yours without commenting on your talents as a descriptive writer. Just beautiful, honestly. Your writing is so vivid, it's easy to feel, see, smell everything you're talking about. I love how you used colours to make connections and as symbolism here. It reminds me of the Scorpius/Dominique story of yours that I just read!

I love how you wrote about Padma, Parvati and their relationship as sisters. Your tale was in the subtleties. I love how you showed their connection, but you didn't really write it aloud, in a way. You just let it sit hidden the words, for the reader to unravel it. I love the ending as well. It was so cute :)

Great job, as usual! Keep it up :)

Author's Response: I'm never sick of reviewers, especially not ones who can marathon my work like you have :)

I'm not the queen of anything, haha! My one-shots have been accumulated over five years of haunting HPFF so it makes sense that there's a decent amount of them there.

Thank you for your lovely compliment :) I try with my description and it can be a big effort sometimes.

Thank you :)


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Review #21, by randomwriterCloud: the blue that i am

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello again :) I'm back for more. Your writing is seriously addictive. Again, you've written about something really unique. I swear I haven't read something like this before. Your descriptions are so detailed and vivid. You've managed to paint a picture in my mind, quite literally! The mention of all those colours were beautiful and they added to the imagery of this. I not only imagined a beautiful, vibrant scene, I also imagined the feel of paint on my skin, and the smell of freshly painted walls. That's how great your descriptions were. As usual, your writing is beautiful and flows well. I love how you've written fluff without being too fluffy. It was a fun, light read, an I suspect that such a thing is usually accompanied with loads of laughter and carefree-ness. that's how I felt reading this.

In my mind, Scorpius was the narrator. For some reason, the narrative reminded me of a male voice. I also thought so because in the end the narrator says that 'you' falls into their arms. But after reading your note, I think their roles are interchangeable. Anyhoo, congrats on writing another wonderful story, and for making a die-hard ScoRose shipper enjoy it :)

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Review #22, by randomwriterVoldemort and the Baby Daddy Drama: Voldemort and the Baby Daddy Drama

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) THIS is why you're one of why favourite authors. I laugh like a maniac whenever I read one of your parodies. If you haven't guessed by now, I'm a huge fan. I've been reading a lot of depressing stories for this review competition, so this story (and a couple of others) was really a much needed break from that genre.

I laughed so much. All of these sequences had a tonne of funny jokes and references! I love how you crammed in so many stereotypes and took a dig at all of them. The Mary Sue one was pure genius. The descriptions and everything! OH GOSH it was hilarious!

the whole idea behind this was amazing as well. There wasn't one dry moment, especially when you're making references to Beiber's terrible music, or Princess Leia's iconic hairstyle. That talk show too, woah! So funny dude. And Peter Pettrigrew? That last speech? All these fanfcition references? Your story just kept getting better and better. I love this series of yours and Voldemort is so funny!

I must stop because I'm attempting speedy reviews, but I can't forget to complement you on the dialogues. They were hilarious. Especially Mrs Weasley's. Great job :D

Author's Response: Hey again, I really appreciate all these reviews!

I assume you've come across the infamous "Voldemort's daughter" trope, and it amuses me how she's always a perfect Mary Sue. Imagine if he had a perfectly average daughter?

Another thing that always amused me is imagining what the Skywalkers' home life would have been like had they been a normal family. There would have surely been some awkward moments.

And poor Peter, he always seems to get left out.

Thanks again!





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Review #23, by randomwriterThe Passing: glory days, lifetimes, friendships past

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello again. This might possibly be my favourite story of yours yet! I really love the marauders and this story was just so beautifully written, I couldn't help but tear up a little. If I must be honest, this is my third time reading this and the effect is yet to wear off.

Your writing was amazing, as was your grasp on the marauders. You got each of them so well, but you wrote them together even better. You've captured them and written them so well, and I think that you truly managed to write about all that they represented really well.

Parts of this were sad, parts of it were funny, parts of it were nostalgic. You gave me so many feels and I can't even begin to gather myself from it all, you know.

I'm really glad you chose this particular missing moment to write about. I've often thought about their first conversation alone after Peter's escape. The one where they truly sort out all the events of the last twelve years or so. This was such a heavy conversation. There were so many things to discuss and sort out, and I am so glad that they didn't just sweep things under the rug. They faced everything, but there wasn't much anger or betrayal because they understood each other so well and really thought from the others' point of view.

I love that they argued a bit, but at least they got everything out into the open. The memories they were talking about, all the stuff they were reminiscing, it was all so well done and I absolutely loved all those bits! In fact, I can't find something I didn't like about this story. I'm favouriting it.

Seven years they’d spent swearing to each other that they were more than the sum of their parts. Sirius had gone to any length to prove he was different from his family. Remus had spent every month in pain, trying desperately to remind himself that he was more than an animal. In the end, they had caved to the beliefs they had so strongly sworn against. These lines were absolutely gorgeous. Almost all your lines, even the lighter dialogues, were so full of meaning and weight and I wanted to quote them all and tell you why and how much I loved them, but I can't. This part however, blew me away. You'd captured it so well.

I'm in awe of your writing. This story, and you, are both amazing!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for the many lovely reviews you've left me. I'm honestly kind of speechless at how kind you've been to wade through so much of my work. Responses for all them will be coming soon, but I just wanted to at least let you know I've seen them and appreciate them :)

I'm really happy to hear you enjoyed this one-shot! Marauders is always a fun era for me to write -- there's just so much angst and friendship and material to work with. I feel like everybody's stories are so connected that it's a dream to work with (even in my mind, this is a companion one-shot to my James/Lily one-shot).

Yeah, I really liked working with the idea of 'the first conversation too'; I know they had a conversation during the actual capture in PoA but it was really brief and things got action-packed fast. And they do understand each other really well and face things together. I really did want to go into why and how a friendship could last a lifetime.

Thank you so much for reading! And thank you for your many kind words :)


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Review #24, by randomwriterTom Riddle's Beginning: Tom Riddle's Beginning

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello :) I just saw that you had left me a review and I was pleasantly surprised, so I thought I'd come by and return the love.

I have also been interested in stories that feature Merope Gaunt. While she did some truly despicable things, it is hard for one not to sympathise with her.

I think you captured her final moments really well. Her pain and the delusion of her final moments came through very clearly. I thought that the idea of using the Parseltongue speech was a unique idea. I've never read much about it, but I questioned the speech pattern apart from that. The 'naeme' and such. I also think that your one-shot will be benefited greatly if you choose to add in some description. It would give it great depth and draw the reader in ever more. I also thought that you could play around with Mrs Cole's emotions and thoughts more. These are just suggestions however. You do have a pretty nice story. Keep writing :) Maybe I'll see more of you around!

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Review #25, by randomwriterThe Precise Hour: Eggs and Owls

12th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Nadia, I cannot even gather my thoughts to leave you a coherent review at this point. First of all, I must applaud you for trying something this different. It's one of the most unique things that I've ever had the pleasure to read. Forgive me, my default assumption was that this was set in Afghanistan. I suppose it would fit, but it's Egypt, which is a place I've always wanted to go to. I love that you chose to write a story that's set in such a different place. We never see things like this in fanfiction.

Hassan and Sahar. Just. Waav. I really felt sorry for the two of them when her harami (I suppose you know what it means in Hindi and it is not a 15+ word :p) brother chose to intervene and get her married off. I hate how it is such a taboo to even look at a girl in such cultures, though it does make for beautiful literature. Also, I know why they look down upon it, but I don't agree, but that's me going off on a tangent so I'll zip it.

Anyway, I don't know what to say to you. This was absolutely sad, but beautiful and it reminded me so much of Khaled Hosseini's stories, and I do think you might have been inspired by him. He's an excellent writer and so are you. You painted a picture in my mind with this one. It was so visceral. The characters were amazing and the plotline was really believable. I can't believe how well you've written this.

I spotted only two typos. There's one place where you've said 'sitting' instead of 'sipping' and in another place, there was another typo, but I've forgotten, so I'll just tell you when I revisit this because it's bound to happen soon.

This is lovely, Nadia! One of the most enjoyable stories I've come across! :)

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