Reading Reviews From Member: aquabluez17
  
109 Reviews Found

Review #1, by aquabluez17Stagger: Promised a New Start

30th May 2013:
Wow this is rele good! I actually love the fact tht Piper hates Hogwarts! It makes everything so interesting! She just detests it! I rele love the way you defined the common room. Tht just rele stuck out to me and it rele drive home how Piper hates hogwarts

Great work!!! Update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, she doesn't like the magical people. Who I love. Life sucks eh ;) Thank you so much! x

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Review #2, by aquabluez17The Bodyguard: 2 - Carriage Conundrum

27th May 2013:
OMG!! Wow!! So good!!

Okay okay so I really do love Edward. He's hilarious n he's not the typical guy who's in control and all. I really like how he has such a high post but still is SOO chill. I bet he can totally take care of himself but just doesn't lol

Roxy was in Azkaban?? Danggg! The girl is really hardcore!

Oh yay we get to see Al!! WHOOT :)

Can't wait to see your next update! Great job!!

Mya

Author's Response: *hugs you* thank you c: tbh i was not worried about plot or any of the other characters I JUST WANTED ROXANNE TO BE HARDCORE. so you just made my day, clearly. i will update son ;)

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Review #3, by aquabluez17The Bodyguard: 1 - Assignment

27th May 2013:
Hey! This was really great! I loved Roxy and Edward. Even Sebastian was awesome :)

I was a bit confused though when Roxy got her assignment w George. It kept seeming like George is the Minister? Maybe it's just me but maybe you could look that part over? Since it seemed really confusing w what George was doing there, why it kept saying minister George etc.

This is a great start!! I can't wait to see where you are going a this :) awesome job!

Author's Response: First review meeep :3 Thank you very much! I'm glad the characters turned out okay. I didn't include too much about Edward because the chapter was getting hideously long. But we have the rest of the story to figure out more about him, so please do keep reading xx

George is the Minister for National Security, not the Minister for Magic. I'm sorry if that was a bit confusing, I'll see if I can fix that up. They keep calling him "Minister" because, well, he IS a Minister. Just not THE Minister. /likestoconfusepeople

Thanks so much for leaving a review and I'll try and update as soon as possible xx


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Review #4, by aquabluez17Opposites DO NOT Attract: Keep Trying

8th April 2013:
Heyy Grace!!

This is a great start! I was thinking of starting a Teddy/Victoire story too! haha great minds think alike :P

I like the plot you have here, though I feel that maybe adding a bit more description to why Teddy is so determined and why Victorie is so adamant about this topic would really help this prologue!

Also, I got a vague idea of what kind of a pair Teddy/Victorie are thogh I feel like just by adding a few scenes, maybe flashbacks or something, readers could really feel their relationship a bit more clearly since that would make the story pop out more.

Also I noticed a grammatical error, " since I three.." I think you meant "since you were three"

Overall this was a great start! Can't wait to see where you are going with this =) Good job!

Sorry if this review seemed to harsh :P

-Mya

Author's Response: It's so strange to hear someone refer to me by my actual name on here.

I don't know why but I seem to be hopping onto the Teddy/Victoire bandwagon (prepare yourselves for the obsession people). I'll see if I can add any more detail about that part in there.

Sorry, I haven't had access to a computer for the pass week or two so my writing isn't at it's best at the moment. I'll definitely be taking a closer look at the chapter and try and make it better. This wasn't a harsh review at all and it was really helpful, thank you for the feedback!


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Review #5, by aquabluez17Twist of Fate: Black

8th April 2013:
yayay! you updated!!

im really glad to see tht Al/Vivi finally talked =) That was rele good.

I also loved the bonding you had between Lily/ Vivi. That was very cute and nicely done as well! Great work =)

Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Hello,

I'm so sorry it took so long!

That was totally unexpected, I wasn't intending for them to talk for quite some time yet but then this suddenly popped into my head a it fit much better than my original plan. I'm glad you liked it :)

Oh Lily, sometimes I worry she is feeling forgotten, which she kind of is with all the trouble James and Al are bring to the family. I thought it would be a good idea for Viv to get to know the third Potter kid, especially as Lily will be her baby's aunt.

Thank you for the lovely review and I hope to update again fairly soon :)

GirlOnTheSidelines x


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Review #6, by aquabluez17The Worst: Dreading The Worst

7th April 2013:
Hey Aditi!

Sorry Im sooo late!! School is really getting to me and my time reading and reviewing :(

Anyway, I really liked how you started this! One thing I really loved was the fact that there was no Teddy/Victorie/Dommie triangle thing going on here, or at least as mentioned in this chapter.

Although I don't mind the triangle, sometimes I feel that people rely on too much when writing about Teddy in general so great work there!

I like the way you characterized Dommie! She's strong and a journalist which is quite different from other Dominique characters I have read.

I enjoyed reading the way you differentiated between Dommie being scared of werewovles and not actually hating them. This was a very strong and powerful way to portray her as a character!

Overall I think you have a great story here. It has a very effective beginning with a cliff hanger in the end, just begging for me to read more :D

I'll be back for more soon and again sorry for the delay! =)

Mya

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing, apologies for the delay in responding.

I am pleased you liked the way I started this. Yes, there's no Teddy/Vic/Dom triangle. Triangles are cliche xP

I am glad you like Dom's character, and that you found this an effective beginning.

Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing once again, and I look forward to your comments on future chapters!


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Review #7, by aquabluez17Against All Odds: The First Meeting

30th March 2013:
HEYYY Kiana!! This was the Remus/Tonks story you were talking bout!!!


Well I really loved the beginning! I loved the way you described Tonks and how you had them meet as well. In typical Tonks fashion, meaning for her to just fall all over him ahah.

I was sad to know that Andy didn't know if Sirius was innocent. It's always so sad when Everyone thinks Sirius is a murder :(

Anyway, I would love to see some more Remus / Tonks interaction!! But the character development is amazing really lol

Great work :)

Author's Response: Hey Mya!

I'm so glad that you loved the beginning and thought it suited her! I mean I couldn't have her meet him normally, of course she would have to fall!

Yes that is always so sad, but hopefully Tonks will get round to telling her mum that Sirius really is innocent.

You get to see them together in the next chapter, well Bill's there too, but they're together!

Thanks for the great review,

-Kiana :D


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Review #8, by aquabluez17A Series of Unfortunate Pranks: April Fools

26th March 2013:
Aww! This is so unique! Bahah poor Jamesie :P

I wonder how she got his cloak lol. James had no clue what hit him hahah!!

Great work!! I really enjoyed reading this. Couldn't see any errors :P

Author's Response: I'll take a wild case and just say that you enjoyed it lol. James faced the consequences of messing with Lily Evans (one does not simply mess with Lily Evans and get away with it).

I'm so happy that you enjoyed it and skglsegslegksg my first piece of writing with no errors in it!


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Review #9, by aquabluez17My Pride and Joy : Orion's Reflections

25th March 2013:
Heyy Claire!

This is really interesting. From Sirius' POV it always seems tht both his parents didn't love him. I liked seeing how you showed that Orion still felt Somethjng for his first born.

Poor Reggie, always getting overshadowed, however I'm glad Orion still tried to help Sirius. Obviously if his wife knew he would be off of the family list but he still took the risk.

I loved the idea of this and I think you developed the characters well.

Great job!

-- Mya

Author's Response: heyyy!! :D
thanks for reviewing. I'll get on yours tonight.

I always felt that because we don't know much about Orion, there may be more to him than the crazy hatred that Walburga and Bellatrix has. Just like Narcissa, I think that the hatred developed over time rather than having it be innate.

Thanks love!
You're amazing (:



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Review #10, by aquabluez17Until the Very End: James and Lily

25th March 2013:
Okay this is amazing! I love the way you portrayed everyone ! I literally always imagine them like this, completely in sync with each other and caring for each other.

You know how I feel bout Marauders fics so I'm super super glad I read this since it totally goes w my head cannon :)

Snapes so harsh, Avery just hates, poor Jamsie!! Aww Sirius! Babyy :( LILY!! Respect woman! Good for you, standing up for your man ;)

This was really good Claire. So good I literally couldn't see any errors since I got too caught up in the story haha.

Great work!

--Mya

Author's Response: yay! I really glad that I portrayed Lily right. I always thought that Lily is a very complex person deep down inside, and I think an that finally loving James is central to the key in her personality because let's face it, how can someone like Lily love the person that James was? It's an interesting development that I think says a lot about Lily (:

IM GLAD IT FITS YOUR HC :D
I always love to hear that because I always want to strive to write canon lol

thanks love!
You're amazing!


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Review #11, by aquabluez17Pride and Prejudice : Hugo and Keira

25th March 2013:
Hey Claire!! Here w a review :)

I really liked this!! Keira and Hugo are really well developed here and I do love how you didn't drag it out too much since we all knew what would happen.

That said, I felt that the flow of the story could have been made better with a few more descriptive factors since it felt like Keira changed her opinion almost too quickly.

However, I still really loved this! ESP Hugo!! So cute. No one ever writes bout him so I'm glad you gave him a chance :P

Great work!!

-- Mya :)

Author's Response: Hehe I don't think that Hugo's character would let him drag this out for very long because that just doesn't seem like the type of person he'd be, ya know? xD

I love and appreciate your honesty! I'm glad that I now know that the flow and description of Keira's changes of feeling coudl be better because it wasn't something I had thought about at first.

Yes, Hugo certainly is one of those forgotten characters and I loved that I can give him a chance at the spotlight.

Thanks, love! (:
You're amazing.


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Review #12, by aquabluez17Childhood Dreams: 13 Years

24th March 2013:
Awww! That was soo cute.

I loved the way you showed the parallels with what Ginny said at the end (obviously that was on purpose).

Some CC's I noticed were I love you, Mum[.]

It should be a [,] not a [.] since you are continuing the sentence and not ending it right there.

Great work though! I really enjoyed reading this =)

Author's Response: Gah, grammar... I love it, but I still seem to make mistakes all the time. I'll go back and fix that up ASAP! Thanks for the review, I'm glad you liked it!
-ShadowRose


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Review #13, by aquabluez17The Gift: The End

20th March 2013:
This is really interesting! I love how you have Louis as the BFF. Its really unique!! Now I can't wait to see an update =)

Hope it comes soon!

Author's Response: Yes! Don't ever stop loving Louis as the best friend. He's the best! ;) Thanks for the review.

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Review #14, by aquabluez17It's Not Love: A Father Who Cares And A Long Drive Into The Rain

10th March 2013:
Heyy!! Here I'm w the late review swap :P

Ahh! We finally get to know Mikaela a little better! Yayy!! One thing I noticed about her is that she really understands her parents' past. I love that you included Draco's past as a Death Eater as a part of her character since he can't completely get rid of that part of his life. Its not going to just disappear.

One CC I have is that the writing can be a little inconsistent at times. For example, right after she runs out of gas, and she's looking for money, she keeps changing her mind and by introducing so many ideas at the same time, the reader feels kinda overwhelmed.

Maybe add some detail and move some of the ideas to somewhere else to space it out?

This is a great chapter! Im glad I read it =) Thank you for the review swap!

Author's Response: Heyy, yes I will bear that in mind. Thankyou once again!
Em


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Review #15, by aquabluez17The Dragonfly Effect: Prologue

9th March 2013:
This was really good too! I loved it :p I wonder what Scott was talking about?

Aww James haha. Maybe adding abit more description to him would have helped :P

Billie? Thts an unusual name :P Some physical details about her could really let the reader get engaged to the story =)

Do continue soon!

Author's Response: You will one day find out what Scott was taling about. He was harsh, but I think he had a valid point.

Billie is an unusual name but I think it suits her character very well.

I know that there is a lack of detail in this, but it's only the prologue and I wanted it to be a little vague and just set up the premise of the story. There will be more details in future chapters!

Thanks for the review :)


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Review #16, by aquabluez17Twelve Across, Four Down: Prologue

9th March 2013:
omg!! tht was soo cute haha.

she really loves her bed :P it just made me want to go roll in mine :P

aww I really can't wait to see how this story turns out! do update soon!!

ONE CC I would offer is that maybe adding a bit more detail could help?

Besides tht great start!

Author's Response: Beds are amazing things, aren't they?

This was just a prologue and I deliberately made it pretty vague. Not to worry, you will get plenty more detail in future chapters.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #17, by aquabluez17Infatuation: RIA: LIKE HE LIKES IT

6th March 2013:
Does the potion have a side effect or something? That she wants to be near him and look at him because of that? Or is it just cuz she didn't realize how much she looked at him before?

Well I'll see when you update again =)

This was really nice! I liked the way you mentioned Bella and overall I think this topic is really new so its cool to think about where you will go with this :P

update soon! I would love to know more about Jamesie haha

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Review #18, by aquabluez17Denouement: Prologue

6th March 2013:
Wow!! this is amazing!! I really want to know what will happen next.

In this it seemed like Al didn't really like Julie. I wonder why? I wished we had seen more of James but it was a prologue so thats all good.

Maybe if you add a bit of description about Julie/James. Just a bit, nothing too much, we could get a good view on their relationship and feel more pulled in.

I really think this idea is unique! Can't wait for you to update!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. It's always really hard to get an immediate heart to heart in prologues. In particular in this one because I really wanted to focus on the situation surrounding Julie. However, I'm planning on adding more descriptions about Julie and James.

Thank you for your review, I'm glad you liked it :)


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Review #19, by aquabluez17Being Mrs. Weasley: Chapter 1

5th March 2013:
Wow!!! Okay I have never really read a Fred /OC story so thank you for writing one!

I loved the beginning. Though there were some awkwardly phrased sentences, I believe it was a great start.

I think that maybe by upping your sentence structure, like combing short sentences and as such, this would become an even great piece!!

Thank you so much for writing this!!

Author's Response: Thanks! So sorry for the late response.

I'll define consider what you said about the sentence structure. I'm aware that that is one of my weaknesses and I'm glad you pointed it out.


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Review #20, by aquabluez17Protego: Fate

4th March 2013:
Wow that was really good! I really liked the different take you had on Scor and even Rose.

There were times I was a bit confused though. It took me a couple of times of reading to figure out that you were talking in the past when you weren't in 2nd person. I think that could hAve been cleared up a bit.

Also I think maybe a description of who's killing them or why? Could help since it would help the story differ from the past you were trying to explain.

This was really great! The idea was very unique and obviously you had fun w it :)

I'm sorry if I sounded harsh. Not my intention at all. Hope I helped :)

Mya :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for your review. :) I was going to add an author's note at the end clearing up any confusion, but didn't want to assume that people wouldn't figure it out on their own. There are actually three different timelines in this story: The present, in which Rose and Scorpius are being murdered, the past, which is actually his life flashing before his eyes, and the future. If you notice in the passage about the adopted teenage Squib whose parents died when he was little, he begins to make a Timeturner. The Timeturner is to take him back so that he can get rid of his parents before he's ever born.

So the young man who enters the room is actually baby Benjamin all grown up. And the reason why he was ever parentless in the first place, as you can see, is his fault. It's also his own fault that he's a Squib, because of the magical damage inflicted on the baby from too many spells.

I would have been a little more clearer about what the different sections represented, but also didn't want to ruin the surprise that the baby Scorpius protected in the last seconds of his life was also the man attacking them all. Scorpius saved his son /from/ his son. It's cyclical, because of the nature of time travel, so baby Benjamin grows up to be teenage Benjamin, who goes back in time and dies while trying to murder his infant self, over and over.

I hope I explained it so that I didn't make it sound more confusing! Thank you for reading and reviewing. :)


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Review #21, by aquabluez17The Blossoming: Harper's Hill

3rd March 2013:
Okay so I really loved the fight haha. That sounds sadistic but I think it really built a realistic idea of what could be happening w Ginny/Harry.

So Dudley and Harry still in touch eh? OH MY GOD! Vernon is dead! How did he die?? Also, does Teddy spend a lot of time w Harry? I would love to see more of him =)

Great work! Update soon :D

Author's Response: Haha, honestly I quite enjoyed writing the fight!

Yeah, Vernon is dead as a dodo! We'll find out what happened soon ;)

Teddy will certainly appear more throughout the story.

Glad you enjoyed this, thanks for reviewing!


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Review #22, by aquabluez17The Blossoming: Tempers Frayed and Secrets Told

3rd March 2013:
awww tht was so cute!! i loved the whole thing.

I do think that you could have added more about the Potters fight or maybe just have a smoother transition but it was great really!

I was a bit confused about Freddie's weekend. like Freddie I or Freddie II being born?

Author's Response: Aw I'm glad you loved it.

Haha as I think you saw in the next chapter, their fight was only just beginning to brew. I'm not sure which transition you mean, but this chapter is slightly odd in that I had a lot of locations and characters to include, and didn't want to go through their whole journey each time!

There are a couple of earlier chapters devoted to Freddie's weekend - it was Freddie II (I differentiate between them by having Fred and Freddie) and it was what we would term a christening, but in Weasley terms is a whole weekend to get together, have a naming ceremony, and basically celebrate each new child born into their family.


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Review #23, by aquabluez17Promises: Chapter One

3rd March 2013:
Okay this was amazing.

I have never heard that rumor before but its really interesting how you incorporated that.

I do have to say that in the middle I got a little distracted and my attention wavered. Maybe you could break up the para or break up the explanation w memories or anything? just to make it more captivating.

I really liked this story and it was just so sadd!! ahh~ great job really!! poor Harry losing his sibling:(
Wish James had known :(

Great work!

Author's Response: thank you for the review

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Review #24, by aquabluez17Once Upon A Lifetime: one

3rd March 2013:
Hi! Just wanted to leave a review :P

I loved the beginning. It was great. The detail with Molly's character and her surrounding is amazing. I really like how you have it set up in the middle of another war.

Though I do have a few CC. The first is explanation. In the beginning everything's clear but as you get into the war things get sort of muddled and confusing. It kinda gets hard to follow what Molly is thinking and just a bit more explanation and detail would fix that I think.

Great start! I hope you'll update soon =)

Author's Response: Hey! =3

Thank youuu - I had a little bit difficulty with the beginning. I felt horribly awkward writing this, and I've never been good with starting a story.

I... confess. I personally haven't figured out what the war's about. I've considered a battle over chocolate, but I wasn't sure how readers would take it :') I mean to edit that as soon as I figure it out myself.

Thanks again for that lovely review, and I promise to do so as soon as I can.


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Review #25, by aquabluez17Just A Game: It's hard to make sense

2nd March 2013:
aww haha the kiss :P

I really did like the way you handled it though Im a bit confused about Sirius now. Does he like Gisela?

Cuz if he did and Remus knew then I really dont think he would have kissed her...

Oh well i'll just wait to see what happens! great update =)

Author's Response: sorry for the late response!

i'm glad you liked it. sirius does like gisela but he hasn't told the rest of the boys, hence why Remus let himself kiss Gisela but i think he knows deep down that sirius does so he's happy to call it friends for the sake of Sirius.

you will, i'm hoping the get the next chapter out soon, i've left you guys hanging for so long now! thank you for reading :D


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