I can't wait for the next chapter ;)
Oh geez, that first part of the story made me feel guilty :P Girls do have to go through a lot. I can't even comprehend all that make-up stuff, let alone someone shaving their legs *shiver*.
As always, you've definitely captured me into your plotline, and Lily was just a sassy little bag of fun! Wow, I don't know where that came from, sorry.
Looking forward to your next chapter,
soapman333Author's Response: Funnily enough, I actually finished writing the next chapter the very day that you left this review so I thought that was pretty funny. Then again, I might just have a really lame sense of humor.
Us females got the short end of the stick and you're not alone on the make-up part. I can't comprehend any of it either (I once stood examining a mascara brush for fifteen minutes just try to figure out what it did. There was also that time that I thought eyelash curlers were just really weird scissors and tried to cut something with them.)
I love writing sassy Lily (I just love writing sassy characters in general).
Anyway, thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Oh, I found it!
I had to do some searching, but I found your entry :D
This is delightful! Nothing's worse than a date where both parties absolutely despise each other. Well, obviously they don't completely despise each other ;)
I think my favorite part (it was hard choosing) was when they both saw each other. Malfoy's open mouth caused tea to fall into his lap, and Rose was just standing there like a fish out of water :D Was that a good metaphor to use? Eh, it worked.
Thanks for writing this for my silly challenge! I hope you update this story, I'll come back to check it out for sure.
soapman333Author's Response: Yeah sorry about that - I had a really hard time keeping up with everything for a while there and forgot to give you a link... Oops. But I'm glad you found it haha.
And yes, the idea of a blind date between two enemies (who don't completely despise each other) seemed to just hit me like a freight train. Seemed like a good way to keep things interesting :P
I'm REALLY glad you like that part because I was worried that it would seem odd or cheesy or something lol. And yes, that was a good metaphor ;)
And you're welcome & I do plan on updating it sometime in the next month (hopefully). We will see! Oh, and thanks for reviewing it of course :D Report Review
This looks familiar ;)
I like stories about muggles, weird enough. It's a different contrast on this site. So, you're turning this into a novella?
Anyways, so I really enjoyed this! Their meeting was funny. She ran after him! Heh, that part made me laugh :)
Some interactions were a wee bit awkward, but that's okay. I'm not sure if I like your MC yet, but I definitely like this Aston character. He's a riot.
Ugh, sorry this review wasn't that great, but its a great start.
soapman333Author's Response: hey, yes i am.
shes crayy, can't help it. :P
Why do llike Aston? you should like James, when he comes. lol
thankss. Report Review
Al didn't pull a peeves, all is well :P
I like your MC, she's got a lot of personality. Albus' faint reaction was just hilarious. This chapter doesn't have much action in it, but that's fine. There always needs to be a chapter that shows a strong friendship, and Ellen seems like a very nice friend.
I didn't like the spacing in this chapter. I've never been a fan of scrolling so much between paragraphs.
Update soon ;) Report Review
Ha, I was caught off guard because you didn't have a banner on this story last time. I was like, "Re-request? But I didn't read the first chapter!"
Anyways, I should review your story instead of filling this box with random thoughts.
Ha, so I figured this story was going in the Dom/Teddy direction (well, they're obviously already a couple). That's interesting, because most have Vic/Teddy, well, for obvious reasons. This is my second Dom/Teddy work, so we'll see how I feel about the pairing as the story progresses :P So far, so good.
Oh man, I'm glad I read this, because I have that werewolf fluff work, and I'm trying to figure out how to properly portray a reaction to finding out you/your friend has become a werewolf.
I do have a couple of questions, I hope you're okay with answering them (mostly for myself than for you, sorry).
So did the werewolf she was bitten by refuse to drink wolfsbane? I'm sure that guy will be explained further along in the story, eh?
Dominique's reaction is how anyone would react, but I was wondering if her father being a kinda sorta werewolf affected her reaction at all, if that makes sense.
Anyways, besides all that, I was sad for her, reading as she finally figured out what was happening to herself. I would kill to be a werewolf, but I'm sure her reaction is normal, eh?
What a rubbish review, sorry, It's late here :P
soapman333Author's Response: Hey! Sorry for the late response.
Haha sorry for catching you off-guard. Yes, it took me a while to get a banner up.
Dom/Teddy is one of my favourite pairings (I don't know when/how I grew to love them so much) so I hope you like the way they progress!
My 'reactions' were quite dramatic actually, but I always considered Dom to be a sort of wild fiery person so that's how she'd react. It depends on your character's personality on how they should react =) but good luck!
Of course I am okay with answering questions. I love answering questions!
Oh about that werewolf. Well, I can't say much right now except that why he bit her - whether he took the potion or not - etc. will all be revealed sometime in chapters 5 and 6 (or something like that).
Yes of course her father's scars affected her a lot. As hinted at in the first chapter, growing up looking at her father's scars really made Dom scared of werewolves. And now she's worrying that she'll also become a monster and hurt someone, like Greyback hurt Bill. Of course, her relationship with Bill will be explored in future chapters so things should get clearer then.
Haha, yes her reaction is pretty normal. If I remember correctly, Remus always felt disgusted and upset at his condition as well, so yeah.
It's not a rubbish review at all. Thank you for all your words and questions! Report Review
The amount of Quirrel stories I've read? This is the first! Oh geez, I like it.
That challenge you had is certainly a difficult one. So, she gave you words, or did you come up with them on your own? Either way, you had to somehow keep the diction of the piece flowing. You couldn't just randomly stick bigger words in, you had to integrate them as though your character was used to saying them.
Quirrel is a brilliant choice!
I feel bad for saying it, but the work as a whole is well-written with a great idea behind it, I just think the narrative is a bit dull. The story is exciting, but it seems like the focus of the story was on those challenge words, and not on the story.
Gosh, I really like it though!
The flashback was really integrated in a smooth way, and I even enjoy Quirrel's POV. He's not the scared, nervous wreck that we read in the Philosopher's Stone. He's got that confidence that all the students admired in him before Voldy attached himself to his head.
Seriously, wonderful characterisation!
The dialogue for your OC, the bartender's daughter, is a bit awkward. It's not very passionate. You did a marvelous job of depicting her facial expressions and body movements, but her words didn't seem to match them.
Other than those small things, I think that it's an awesome one-shot. Perhaps you can go in an unbold those words? It was a bit distracting after a while. Not that big a deal though.
Oh Quirrel, I hope I can find other stories about him as awesome as this one was :DAuthor's Response: Hi, Soapman!! Sorry it's taken so long for me to respond to your review! One thing or another has gotten in the way in these past few weeks. :p
Thank you for liking your first Quirrel story! I really wanted to explore an area that hadn't really been explored, and it seemed pretty viable.
As for the words: Yes, the person who issued the challenge gave me twenty words to incorporate into a story, and one of the requirements was for the words to be in bold. (Just to make sure that we didn't leave any out!) Putting them in bold does seem to detract from the flow, as does the horrid spacing of the chapter! (I meant to apologize about that beforehand... I really stink at formatting!)
It's okay for you to say what you really thought, because constructive criticism is a good thing! Personally, I saw the whole story as kind of bleak and barren, but I can definitely see how it's also somewhat lacking in interesting-ness sometimes. One day I shall edit, and then maybe I can add more color!
Thank you for all of your compliments!! They're super nice, and the criticism is super helpful!
I'll take a look at the incongruencies between my OC's dialogue and body language... I felt awkward writing her, because she was technically speaking "broken" English, but I didn't really know how to put that across without being it totally out-of-place in the story.
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for your lovely review! :)
~UnluckyStar57 Report Review
God I love this story. Seriously, this is one of the few good Remus/Tonks works out there. You best keep updating, or else I'll pester you! Not really, but you know what I mean.
Tonks is just as awesome as she's depicted in the books. Seriously, I fancied the living day lights out of her when I read the series, and she's just as spunky and hilarious as I remember her to be.
Great job. Snap, I'm still geeking out about it.
Kingsley is awesome. It's all just...perfect. I wish I could pick you up from the inside of my computer an d hug you!
Remus...I could die with how perfect this all was. I can't even think of CCs for you.
Update soon, please!
Look at that, I'm begging for another chapter :P
I hope I flattered you into an oblivion, my dear!Author's Response: Haha I'm so glad that you love it, I can't explain how much it means to me! There's no need to pester me at the moment, the next chapters in the queue so it's ok for now!
I'm really glad that you think my Tonks is similar to the books Tonks! I love her too, and I really didn't want to ruin her character, so I was so excited to read that :D
Hahaha you're actually the second person who said they want to pick me out of my computer! Yay for Kingsley and I'm so glad that you liked him!
Please don't die, but I'm glad that Remus was good enough for you!
You did flatter me, but the chapter should be up soonish :D
Thank you for this wonderfully awesome review,
-Kiana :D Report Review
Much like Brienne, this new OC has really caught my attention. I don't know what it is about her (perhaps it is your wonderful descriptions), but she's very intriguing! I'm excited to see what her role will be in this work.
Divination chapters are always fun for me to read. I remember in the books, they were my favourite, because Ron got some incredibly hilarious one-liners. This chapter is more ominous than humorous, but the foreshadowing is still fun to read. Maybe I'm just insane *shrugs*
Ohhh, you're putting your narration into the sleeping conscious? Third-person omniscient is a bit tricky, but you seem to pull it off. The thing that is tricky about using dreams, is that they are generally used more as "plot drivers," which is fine, but can be really annoying for readers. Dreams are similar to characters that can see into the future. If you use them right, they can be a cool addition, if you don't, people will be wary.
So far, I'm liking the dreams. It adds a deeper element to the work as a whole. The tone has shifted from that of light and fun-filled, to a more dark.
Awesome chapter!Author's Response: Hi!
I really like Paisley, too. I'm glad you like her too xD
Divination gives a lot of excuse for people to feel a little ridiculous, and in Brienne's case it does strike a chord, though she doesn't believe a single bit of it xD
The dreams are more to show symbolism than really prophecy or "plot drivers" as you called it :) I think you're just supposed to take meaning from them.
Thank you very much for the review! :D Report Review
Geez, I cannot express enough how much of a relief it is to read a work like this. I'm used to reviewing stories about teen angst and love triangles, but this is much more comfortable for me to read.
Oh the effects of war. What always intrigued me about the Hogwarts War was that it was so close to home for most witches and wizards. You can't just pick up and live your life normally after something that catastrophic! You depict this well, Bec :D
Ha, I love how Em's friends are getting married around her. It's strange growing up, people tend to get married while in their twenties, amIright? Her awkwardness towards this subject also cracks me up. Perfect, just perfect.
I should put CCs in, but I really don't have any. Perhaps re-read through it for the little grammatical stuff that every author experiences in their stories (seriously, my own story is over-flowing with grammatical errors. I'm too lazy to fix most of them).
Em is certainly quite the intriguing character! I'm excited to see how this all progresses :DAuthor's Response: It's a little closer to home isn't it? Well I mean it's about a woman, but you know what I mean.
I am trying really hard to show the effects of the war on everyone. I always have a list of my characters with details like physical appearance, family connections, birthday, age etc but with this story I also have blood status, how old they were and where they were during the war, what impact it has had on them since, family members that died etc. I found a character the other day seemed to be unaffected and I freaked out! lol...I think I've fixed it now though :)
The marriage thing totally has nothing to do with my own personal opinions on people getting married young. No connection whatsoever. :P But seeing as though there is a conversation in HBP about this exact issue (people marrying young and quickly during the war) I figured it was a pretty good link with canon.
Ugh, I always find grammatical errors after I've posted the chapter...drives me crazy! And then you spot it and you're like "how did I miss that?"
Thanks again for another lovely review, you're far too nice to me :) Report Review
Woah, intense! Ha, so I'm the worst review-threader ever. I forgot I had people waiting for me to review their stories :P
Anywho, I love this story. In fact, I'm adding it to my favourites. Seriously, this is one grown-up work. Nobody ever thinks about how life would be like if you didn't actually like what you were doing as a career. Plus, you depicted the war and aftermath in a short and precise manner. Just brilliant!
Is this the work that you're putting in present tense? Geez, I just adore present tense. It's like you're there, with the narrator as he/she goes about what they will. In fact, I'm glad your story is in present tense, because my common "suggestion" for most of the stories I read is to put it in present tense. It's just more exciting to read that way.
So, good job (I feel silly saying this, because you're a million times more talented a writer than me)!
As for your main character, she's believable in every way. I'm relieved because the last story I reviewed, the main was very much a Mary Sue. It was like she was a robot or something. Not the most thrilling person to read about.
Right, so I think my favourite part about her past is the fact that she was friends with Cedric. Silly for me to say, but it made me smile, because that is so unique. This story is just brimming with potential and uniqueness, I'm so excited to read the next chapter!
Okay, I promise I can properly articulate my thoughts. I'll do a better job on the next chapter :D Awesome start, and the tone of the piece is a bit darker, but I don't think it's too overwhelming. Bravo!Author's Response: Heh, don't worry...this was my first review request, so I had no idea how long I should expect to wait for the review!
I actually really appreciate you calling this piece 'grown up'. I am trying to be more mature with this piece, but it's apparently quite hard to write a mature story when you're not a very mature person! But yes, I agree...the not loving your job thing is such a common problem and yet so many people in fanfics are in their dream job, so hopefully it adds some fresh complications to the mix.
Present tense is interesting to write...sometimes if I'm not focussed when I'm writing, I'll suddenly realised I've written four paragraphs in past tense and I'll have to go back and fix them. I think it works for this particular story though, I wanted the reader to be right there in Emily's brain with her.
Thank goodness you don't think Emily's a Mary-Sue. well I figured she wasn't because she's pretty messed up and all, but it's good to get objective affirmation :)
The Cedric thing is something I am really excited about, because I could practically write a whole novel on their friendship from all the backstory I've created for them. I also thought it might be a good opportunity to try and write the girl/guy friendship in a more realistic way than I've seen in a lot of fics. And one where they're not actually secretly in love with each other (like my next gen gems! :P).
"you're a million times more talented a writer than me" You, sir, flatter me with your lies! :P But thank you for the compliment :) And thanks for the review, I was so excited to hear your thoughts on this! Report Review
I've read this short-story and added it to my favourites a while back, but I'm back to add my famous "completely rubbish" review to it! Be excited!
I choose to review this chapter, because it only had two reviewers, and it's always weird to me to see a chapter with less than others. Basically, I'm just being OCD.
The climax of the novel: the marriage.
To be frank, I was surprised by the speed at which their relationship moved. I mean, I usually hold out for even asking a girl to go steady with me at four months. I might just be a little out of the times.
I liked the speed, strangely. It showed the passion between the adorable kids (well, they're technically adults)! Nothing beats "living in the moment".
Geez, I'm not even sure what to say. I love your characters, plot, and even the little details you add into your work about dragon trainers and politics. It's all a delight to read.
Basically, I'm glad I came back to read it all, and be sure to write more! I'm interested in whatever unique story you can pull out of the Potter realm!Author's Response: Hi!
Of course I'm excited! I'm very glad you came back! And the unevenness on review counts can be annoying, so I'll thank you for helping my own OCD!
Don't worry, you're not out of the times! You wouldn't find me getting married this fast for a million pounds (well, maybe a million...) and neither would Molly, in normal circumstances. I wanted Campbell to be the one person who can make her do something completely out of character, and this is very fluffy so I didn't feel quite as odd writing it :)
Thanks so much for all your lovely compliments! I have a new one-shot up that's very different to this if you ever fancy reading it, but I'm very sure you have better things to read!
Thanks for the review!
nott theodore :) Report Review
Yes!!! You name dropped for my sake?! I'm so flattered! That's it, Jack just beat Lily out as my favourite character!
I like this chapter (as per usual). I don't know, it's just progressing at a steady rate. I'm starting to see Lily in a new light, you know? She's not just a very sexy lady (I like how you nailed the guy's perspective, btw. We're oblivious to everything. I'm not even exaggerating here). She's struggling to understand muggles while keeping magic secretive.
Poor Neil, the firewhiskey really did a number on him, eh? I don't even like regular whiskey. I'm trying to imagine how intense firewhiskey would be :P
Anyways, update soon!
The plot is thickening, and I'm becoming more and more excited :DAuthor's Response: I can't tell you how amazing it is that you like the story so much. It really is my favorite to write and I enjoy every bit of it.
I sometimes think my brain was meant to be a boy's brain really, I am quite as oblivious to most things. Like for instants when two of my friend started dating I didn't know about it till they told me, and by then they had been dating for a month!
I was a little embarrased by that, obviously.
I have never been wasted, so all the things I write about it are from stories others told me. I have had whiskey once, it really tastes awfull, doesn't it?
Jack is the image of the ideal boss. No boss I ever worked for was that nice.
I'll tell you when the next chapter is ready. Thanks for your great reviews, they make me want to write more :)
Maya Report Review
Another chapter, how fun!
This story is good, but I can't get over the "Jack Finnegan" part. My name is Jack :D!!! I'm still freaking out a little bit.
So...I don't know if you've noticed, but I have a bit of an obsession with ole' James Sirius Potter. I enjoy everyone's interpretations of the bloke, and yours is definitely one of my favourites!
Oooo more visions! This'll be exciting to read about, for sure. The ending killed me! This review makes no sense.
Awesome chapterAuthor's Response: This review made loads of sense, don't worry :D I think you'll have to feature another Rachel in one of your stories to make us even! (No? Ok, nevermind then...) Thank you so much for reviewing :) Report Review
Wowww, I'm not sure what to say :/
My reaction would be similar to James. I think I would be more furious than sympathetic, but mostly at myself :P
Her mother...I can't believe it! I was like, "Awww snap! We've got some family drama!" but I'm glad her mother was so horrid, because it made the Potters more sympathetic, as lame as that sounds.
Geez James, could he be any more awesome? He's climbing in yo windows, snatching pregnant women up! (I hope you understand that reference, because I snorted a little)
Jk, he's pretty awesome, and I'm excited for them :DAuthor's Response: Yeah I'm sure if I were a guy I would be furious too, but I'm not, so... never mind. And yep, what is a story without some family drama? :D
James is pretty awesome. He's Harry Potter's kid, what would you expect? Hahaha you can't be on the internet and not understand that reference, I'll admit it, I snorted too (how sexy)
Thank you for reading and taking the time to review! X Report Review
Holy Huffington (yeah...don't know what that means)
I'm geeking out about this! Mauauder's + pranks = epicness.
Would it be lame to say that I would totally do the undergarment prank? Especially the part where she walks in and it spells out "Morning Evans"? Yes...I know, I'll go into my corner and think about my words.
Apparently, James doesn't know about a woman's wrath yet. Poor kid.
I think my favourite part about this all (besides the very clever pranks) is Severus. I know, crazy right? He's just so cool headed, and he has the widest perspective out of all of these characters.
The ending line is just brilliant and finishes it all off really well: "To be fair, Lily did warn him."
I like this :D thanks for writing it!Author's Response: I'm so happy to see that everyone is enjoying this version of a Marauder's era story/one-shot. I didn't think that everyone would take to it so well but I was surprised that everyone did.
It would not be lame to say that you would the undergarment prank. Even me --someone who is a girl-- would do the undergarment prank.
Granted, I'd do it someone I hate instead of my best friend but that's a minor detail.
I agree, James clearly has not heard of "Hell have no wrath like a woman scorned."
That is the quote right? I'm not getting it wrong or anything? Oh well, if it's wrong then I apologise.
After everything that Severus did in the Harry Potter books I think it would be pretty expected of him to be cool headed otherwise he would've messed being a double agent real bad.
I'm glad that you enjoyed it! Report Review
I just realized that I favorited this story, but I never left a review...because I'm lazy and should be cast into a fire somewhere.
Right, I love this. You've got the two types of love that I'm familiar with, and that most people seem to not be able to decipher: obsession and companion.
Lavendar was a wee bit obsessed with Ronnie-poo wasn't she? I love it. I think we all have this relationship where the other person can do no wrong and we abandon our friends to drool over them. Ultimately, this relationship will fail, because it's hard on both parties.
Lavendar and Padma? Holy Hufflepuff, I was so surprised that I literally choked on my coffee. It's just so...perfect! I'm blushing just thinking about it *ahem* So...right, I like how their relationship started out friendly, turned romantic, and then finished off on companionate. Well, not really finished, they were really forced apart because of the war and such.
I'm sure everyone else has geeked out over the ending, but, here I am, about to make a big deal about it again. The ending couldn't have been more perfect. It left me on the edge of my seat, wondering if she survives or not! Geez...the feels.
Anyway, there is the belated review for your wonderful story :D
JackAuthor's Response: Hello Jack!
You have no idea how much this review made me grin like a fool :D
First, thanks so so much for reading this fic and reviewing AND favouriting ♥ I wasn't expecting this fic to get any more reviews because of its length but you've gone and surprised me there.
Yes, Lavender goes through different stages of relationships in the fic :) From mother-daughter-'sister' to friendship to childish infatuation and then to something a little more satisfying, though only for a temporary period. I am so glad you picked up on that!
And bahahaha! Lavender/Padma ♥ I see that it took you by surprise :P Nevertheless, I'm so glad that you liked the pairing (I think you did) and that you didn't think it was forced or silly or anything because face it, I'm absolutely rubbish at writing romance :P
As for the ending, in my headcanon Lavender died :( But I didn't explicitly mention that she did, so you can interpret that she recovered (somehow) from all her injuries and became a happier person hallelujah. I dunno, in the films she certainly was shown as dead. And even in the books, she did fall from a certain height, and then Fenrir Greyback pretty much ripped her throat out :(
THANK YOU SO MUCH ONCE AGAIN :D
teh Report Review
What a horrible first date :P!
I disagree with your last reviewer, I didn't actually think Lily was that annoying. Maybe I just expected her to be hesitant with the whole thing?
Well, I love how they resolved their conflicts with jokes!
Ha, James ignored her, left her in the pitch, and got lost. Poor kid, but it makes for an entertaining read. Thanks for your participation in my silly little challegne :DAuthor's Response: Hey,
Wow, I din't think you read it this fast... When I posted it on the forum in was 1 o'clock at night here.
I thought James couldn't keep his full attention to Lily while at a Quidditch match. That would be like trying to make me pay attention to ooking while there is a big stack of Harry Potter matterial to read, thet won't work :)
Yeah, I wanted them to part on good terms, even though the date didn't go as expected. I though making Lily laugh would be a good way to do that. If a girl laughs at your silly jokes she likes you, even when she doesn't know it herself. Or that's my philosophy.
Thanks for reading it so quick and reviewing on it and making my horrible morning a little better even though I do now have to hurrie to get to school in time.
I find that the more my significant other covers the food she makes in ketchup, the more burned it is. I've learned to become wary of ketchup covered entrees :P I eat them anyway, because I'm a good kid.
Oh Lily, seriously, I really enjoy her. A lot. I also feel like you're sneakily putting my name in every chapter (probably not), "Jack-in-th-box"? Eh? Yeah, I know I'm lame.
What a hectic chapter! Neil is such a good guy, I mean, he was super drunk, but he still didn't try to make moves on our little flirt of a girl, Lily. Come on, she's a huge flirt, but I like her spunk.
Anyways, update soon,
JackAuthor's Response: Lily, a flirt? I had no idea :P
No but seriously, that's where I was heading all the time. She goes a little crazy when fire whiskey is involved.
Neil might have wanted to try something on her... but he was a little to drunk for that. Or at least that's my theory.
I should really give him some action in the near future, but what's worng with a little suspence?
If you like it you can believe I put in you name on purpose :)
I won't deny it and I won't admit it. (do you enjoy it?)
I'll update as soon as my waiting story is validated, because the next chapter is kind of ready!
Please feel free to read it and leave a review on it if you want to!
Thanks! You're an amazing reader!
Maya Report Review
Oh so they did kiss in the park? It was subtle :P Perhaps I'm just too oblivious for my own good. That is probably what happened...You should know how my brain functions.
Is it weird that I actually like reading about his muggle job? I know I'm on a potter realm site, but sometimes I get tired of reading about students going to school and snogging each other senselessly (ironic, because that is what I write...*stares at the wall in frustration*)
Ha, his handwriting is terrible...doctors have terrible handwriting. I got the joke ;)
I certainly hope Joel is allowed to kiss Sophia on the lips...she is his girl, right? I wouldn't want any other bloke kissing my girl. I just got shivers thinking about it, actually.
Oh snap, another sign he's in wuv! Unconsciously telling your best mates all about the girl you fancy, or constantly thinking about her. Neil, you stud.
Yup, I love Lily. Way to go, I generally dislike the main girl in stories!
Ha, "play" dumb. In my case, I don't think I'd actually be playing dumb. I am obnoxiously oblivious to much things that happen around me. Especially when a pretty girl is thrown into the mix.
Oh Lily...confusing signals. Well, not really all that confusing at all. She fancies him, he fancies her, all is well in life. If I were Neil, I'd just smooch the heck out of her >:D
JackAuthor's Response: God I love how you get into the story like that. It makes me feel really appreciated as a writer :)
I changed the thing about the kiss in the 3rd chapter... did I forget to change it in this one? Apparently so. I thought it said almost kiss... since he almost kissed her.
Please tell me how your brain functions though... that could be an interesting study for my story :)
Lily is confusing. Way to pretty and fun for her own good and Neil is just a clueless 19 year old trying to figure out what's going on.
On snogging in secret passages around a magical school... well I thought I'd write something different for a change. I started this story out with that in mind, but after about 4 pages I didn't like it anymore and deleted everything (or maybe not deleted but it's never going to go anywhere)
I'm still glowing form all the compliments, keep them coming I love the convidence boost :)
Maya Report Review
I like this chapter a lot! Seriously, it was fluffy/funny and I absolutely enjoyed it! Look at how many exclamation points I'm putting in :P
Seriously, whenever I see my name, I smile.
All right, I think something that really sets you aside from the average girl writer writing a story from a male perspective is that you've got the nervousness/anxiety/obsession with boobs thing down! Extremely accurate, my dear. Why do guys like boobs so much? I don't know, but I'm glad that you acknowledged that Neil had a hard time looking away :P
I have a mild crush on your Lily. She reminds me of Ginny, and I'm a huge fan of Ginny! The book one, of course.
Oh man, the dramatic irony kills! We all know what's going down, but Neil doesn't. I like it so much.
Anyways, I'll probably drop by your next chapter now to see how it all gets resolved :O
JackAuthor's Response: Heey Jack,
You know how you can make me laugh? Well you do, and I think that's great.
I am absolutely flattered by you review. I'm feeling all fussy inside now :)
I do kind of understand that way guys think sometimes... I'm no expert or anything but still. I think most girls don't want to admit the fact that guys are attracted to certain parts of a girl, because they feel offended by it or something. I don't really know why they would have a problem with it but I think that's the reason why they don't make their guys look at them.
You just have to like Lily don't you! I do too... though I'm a straight girl so I feel more for Neil. If I would meet a guy like him I would surely fall in love. (is it strange to have a crush on you own fictional characters? I hope not!)
I was about to request for this chapter, I'm very happy to find you had already reviewed :)
Maya Report Review
Question: How have I not stumbled across this work before?!
Geez, I love it.
All right, because you asked for some thoughts on your introductions to your characters (not in so many words), I will spew my words into this box. Sorry, I'm having one of those nights where I try to be funny, and it doesn't really work :P
Trent sounds mature, which I'm associating with his prodigy-ness. I made that word up, I'm sorry. So far, I like the kid and I'm excited to see how you develop him.
I'm impartial with Freya, but that'll change as soon as everything develops too. She doesn't have much to say in this first chapter.
Okay, all that being said, that scene where their first wave of magic projects itself is just brilliant! So creative! Jack Frost throwing a snowball at the interviewer? Genius.
I have to say that the man in the purple suit is my favorite as of right now in your story. I don't really have a reason as to why that is...I just like how he's confident enough to wear purple, eh?
Snap, feel free to re-request this once you get the next chapter in. I love Hugo stories, because they are so rare. I'm excited for this work, really!Author's Response: Oh I am so glad that you like it! The next chapter is written and is just sitting in the validation queue so I will defiantly re-request when it's validated.
It's nice to find another Hugo fan out there as Hugo, Roxie and Louis are my favourites, Hugo especially! He is deifnatly a heavily featured character in this story so hopefully you will like it!
I'm glad that you like Trent as he is the more mature one in away and as for Freya you'll see a lot more of her in the next chapter since it's from her view point. So hopefully you'll be able to get a better read of her from that.
You think the Jack Frost thing is genius? Really? Wow I'm over the moon with that comment! I came up with the idea since me and my friends at uni have nicknames for each other from Rise Of The Guardians who main character is Jack Frost so yeh. That's the inspiration behind it.
And yay for the man in the purple suit! He's not even a big character (just my reference to a ministry official) but everyone seems to be really interested with him. Maybe I'll have to have him pop back up again at a later date. Ha Ha!
Anyway glad that you liked it and thank you for all the lovely comments!
~Hallows! Report Review
I feel silly, but after reading that last chapter, I smile whenever I read interactions between Georgie and Bri. I might just be insane (let's face it, I am insane), but my favourite part of fancying a girl was always the first few weeks when I couldn't take my blasted eyes off of her.
Er, right...something about your novel always takes me back to my teens. You, my dear, are a fantastic writer.
Okay, onto more sophisticated thoughts, because I am capable of such things.
Ha, Bri has been so upset lately that something incredibly hilarious had to happen for her actually smile again. Leave it to the twins to be on the receiving side of that, eh? George getting attacked by crookshanks(?) even made me laugh. Well, I say that like it's super hard to make me laugh. It isn't, at all.
Angelina! Yes! She knows what's going down!! Although, it's sad for me to think that Angelina/George will be a thing later on. They will have children that I write about :P
Er, right, so anyway, she cried herself to sleep?! How sad and incredibly heart wrenching to read :(
What an awesome cliffie!
So the overall tone of this chapter is actually quite refreshing. This was your comic-relief, right? You're building up crucial relationships and showing how incredibly epic your characters are, and that just makes me all giddy.
JackAuthor's Response: Hi! This is my 700th review for this story! Thank you so much for helping me reach that milestone xD
Generally when someone says I'm "a fantastic writer" with "epic characters" I squee with excitement, and this is no exception. You are so kind! And you don't seem to mind that the story's pace is going kind of slowly. You get that I'm trying to build relationships and characterisation.
Gah, I can't handle this review! Just so awesome! Thank you so much xD
Remember how pathetically tardy this review is? I do, and I'm ashamed of myself :( Although, to be fair, I was going to review your absolutely wonderful work yesterday. I figured I should wait out the silly words, or else this review would have been a box filled with my laughter.
Awesome, onto your much anticipated review (I sincerely hope not, actually, because my stories aren't nearly as impressive as yours is)!
George...oh man, George is just a freaking awesome bloke. He didn't even think twice about running after Brienne. Seriously, George? To be honest, I think I would have just stared at her back like an idiot before recognizing what was actually going on (I'm obnoxiously oblivious to much stuff).
However, George and Bri have some intense chemistry going on, so I'm not surprised he didn't hesitate. That stud.
Look at this interesting plot you have (I do realize that you've seen it before...you did write it for heaven's sakes. I'm just not very good at articulating proper thoughts :P)! I figured her poor mother was dead, but I figured it was some kind of illness, because I have a sick-twisted mind, but geez. The freaking killing curse? I'm so excited to review your next chapter!
Geez, I can see why so many people adore this novel. It's fan-flipping-tastic! Not only does it incorporate my specialty of fluff, but it has twists of humour and a dash of dark in it. I sound like I'm cooking something.
Right, I thoroughly enjoyed the part about the twins becoming somewhat detached from each other near the end, when for what seems like the first time, Fred doesn't understand what's going on in George's mind. I was like: Holy Hufflepuff! No way!
That, of course, is a good thing.
All right, I'm off to review your next chapter :D
JackAuthor's Response: Hey! Wowzers! What a nice surprise xD
Honestly, don't worry about the review being tardy, I'm the worst when it comes to that.
Haha, George is a stud. He knows how to support his friends, whilst Fred I think is a little like how you described yourself xD
It's really good to get a guy's point of view for this story, I gotta say. I think I've only had a couple of guys review this story before, so it's great to get another opinion, especially from a guy who likes fluff! xD
Thank you so much for your review! Report Review
Your work hit me right in the feels, dear. I absolutely enjoy all of your characters, plot twists, etc.
Like seriously, I don't know how to tell you how amazing of a writer you are, because, well, you are! Geez, I need to go sleep off my daze after this amazing story.
Man, I hope you understand how talented you are!Author's Response: I love all these reviews you left makes me so happy! Report Review
You just love to hit it where it hurts, eh? Just kidding. My feels...I'm filled with so much emotion right now...Author's Response: My bad! I hope I didn't hurt the feels too bad Report Review
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