Reading Reviews From Member: Red_headed_juliet
  
132 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Red_headed_julietMortality: Mortality

8th January 2015:
This is so heart wrenchingly beautiful.

The description of grief is pugnent, yet tasteful and you treat the entire idea with the reverence it deserves.

I love Molly. She's one of my favorite characters. I feel as though characterization of her was spot on. Genuine, with little telling signs to remind us that it's her. The bit about Healing School was cute, I like the idea of her doing that before the slew of children.

All together this was a very lovely little piece, full of rich emotional language.

I met my husband very young, and I can't imagine a time without him. I don't think I could be me anymore without him, and you portrayed that feeling beautifully. I love tragedies!

Until next time! (BvB review)

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Review #2, by Red_headed_julietThe Diagon Alley Gentlemen's Club: Hell Hath No Fury

6th January 2015:
Oo, the intrigue deepens!

I like the gender neutral names you've picked for all the women. It seems fitting that women are running the gentleman's club under 'male' sounding names. You've done a great job at setting up Auden as a character of interest with deep motivation, rich back story, and wonderful descriptions.

I look forward to watching this mystery unfold. It seems like you have quite the plan for this. In my head, it has this noir feel that I love.

Can't wait to read more!

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Review #3, by Red_headed_julietMorbid: Williams' Bookshop

6th January 2015:
"This girl seemed to be perpetually poised." For some reason, I really really like the way you've phrased this.

I'm so glad I got an excuse to come back to this! I believe this is one of the most original stories I've come across.

I'm so glad that Teddy feels comfortable enough her to take her to the graveyard. Hopefully she'll get to meet Harry and them all soon as well, though I hope her disease gives them at least some time +/ good thing he's comfortable with death? And that explains a bit about their meeting and what not.

I am going to continue on! Thank you so much for the swap

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Review #4, by Red_headed_julietTrue Romance: The Love You Save (May Be Your Own)

6th January 2015:
And it continues!!!

Ok. This is going to be a lot of driveling nonesense mostly, as I don't have any CC to offer:

First of all, Albus needs to get his stuff together. I hate to say it, cause I love the kid, but this can't be all about Al. He needs to start taking other people into consideration. I feel like he over-corrected with the whole 'being on his own' and now he needs balance. (And I feel this way because your excellent characterization makes him feel like a real person.)

YAY GEORGE! I love his character in this always. I also like how you use the joke shop as Albus's thinking place/home away from home. The mention of Uncle Fred vs cousin Fred was very telling, much like the parenting books Hermione sent. It's always nice to have that extended family feel to things.

I do so hope that Albus will get some sense and go see Cora (great name, too). They're just so ridiculously great together, and Brandon needs him.

Also, Beatrice is awesome. That is all.

(This review brought to you by the BvB battle.)

Until next time!

Author's Response: I'm so happy to see you back!!!

Albus goes through a bit of a transfrmation coming up soon - I promise he will change. I wanted to show how people can over-correct when they are prompted to change - even though it's not for the best with Al.

Part of me thinks that the joke shop isn't a very taxing job for Albus so he can use his time to think through various life issues. I'm so happy you liked the Fred v. Fred comparison. I've always imagined that Hermione would have read all the parenting books she could get her hands on and would consider them essential to becoming a parent.

Albus does go see Cora eventually and the sense may or may not come later. I am glad you like Beatrice!!! :D

thank you for a fab review!

-rose


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Review #5, by Red_headed_julietFanged Revolution: Chapter the Second

6th January 2015:
Hello! I'm here for the Blue vs Bronze battle. +]

You've got a pretty nice beginning to a story here. I think that you've set up a bit of back story capable of supporting good conflicts, as well as relationships between characters.

I do think things moved a little quickly though. At first, I thought Nightstalker was unjustly persecuted, but then he totally just killed someone after saying he didn't want to, which made me unsympathetic. Now, that doesn't mean all vampires should be offed, but I certainly don't feel bad for him anymore.

I am very interested in this ancient Malfoy figure and how you plan to continue portraying him.

Pretty nice story you've got started here. Great descriptions and personalization of internal mechanics.

Until next time!

Author's Response: Hello!

Of all my stories, I think this is the one I'm the most proud of, especially the backstory and the character relationships. Septimus Malfoy and Unctuous Osbert were canon characters created by JKR for a Pottermore release. This story, therefore, could technically be canon, and it gives me a lot of creative freedom.

The vampires as a whole are unjustly persecuted, similar to the werewolves in the book timeline. Nightstalker didn't want to kill the girl, but his vampiric nature took over and he couldn't control himself. The fact that one vampire lost control, of course, doesn't mean that they should all die. (Malfoy, however, doesn't see it that way.)

I'm glad you liked it!

~Olivia


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Review #6, by Red_headed_julietL'optimisme: Malapropisms

29th December 2014:
I think my favorite quote is:
"You were everywhere: in the rustle of leaves behind me as I walked through the forest, in the silence before I fell asleep in bed, in the warmth of the fire as it danced in the grate and played across my wrist, in the glittering drops of frost on the grass in the mornings, each drop a miniature star..."

Your characterization of Dumbledore continues to be very wise and insightful while adding new dimensions to the character. He always seemed so perfect until the last book, and you've given us that balance between the two biased views, from his own POV.

I feel bad for Alain. I think I would've fallen for Dumbledore. And to actually get the shot, but end up short twice?! Gah. That really, really sucks.

I truly enjoy reading this. The language is provocative, in that you are required to feel. The flow is exquisite. The emphasize and transitions are accentuated with a wonderful vocubalary.

Congratulations on another beautiful chapter! I'm looking forward to more. (And now that I'm thinking about it, I miss Gellert.) Also, I'm of the belief your take on their inevitable stand-off will most likely become canon to me. *nod*

Until next time!

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Review #7, by Red_headed_julietThe Diagon Alley Gentlemen's Club: Prologue

25th December 2014:
Hello! Here to give a little feedback. Saw the swap on your status, though it's certainly quite alright if I'm too late. +]

First:

Grammar: I saw absolutely nothing out of place. Punctuation, tense, spelling, it all seemed in order. So congratulations! No annoying typos to fix in an edit. +]

Characterization: The prologue is quite short, but I think you've put in enough details to get the point across. You've shown us that Marcus (I love that name) is a rather ritualistic character ("his usual tuna sandwhich") and that he is incredibly deductive and reasonable. Instead of letting the presence of an overly insistent and rather upity man dishevle him, he deduced that the man was either married or very interested in having his case solved.

Little things like that do a great job about expounding on characters without just outright TELLING you, which is always nice. Good job!

Setting: This is the only part of the prologue that seems lacking, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. I just feel like mentioning that when I first start a mystery, I expect to gain a lot from the setting. Is it Noir, Western, Modern, or something new? Where is this office? Is it shabby, well kept, well used, professional, weird? If you expound upon this later, no problem at all. Sometimes it detracts from the introduction to put details like that in. I just figured it was worth mentioning that we will need at least a little more detail eventually. +]

Plot: Again, you've given us probably the perfect little amount for a nice prologue. Something to make sure that you check back in later. A reoccuring string of poisonings that has emotional ties with main character? AWESOME!

All in all, both a wonderfully executed prologue and teaser for what is sure to be an excellent story! Very nice!

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Review #8, by Red_headed_julietEvolution: Just a Game

23rd December 2014:
I WAS #5 TOO! (Now I feel important.)

I'm finding that I rather enjoy Katie. And right now, while he's still cleaning up a bit, I think that she may be a better match for him in this moment than Lily. It's really easy when you know two characters are going to end up together to hate the one 'getting in the way', but you've done a good job with presenting her as a person, instead of the 'other woman' stereotype.

The Quidditch match was very well done. I enjoyed it quite a bit (though my Ravenclaw pride is hurt a bit by the loss. +] )

I'm out of time for now, but hopefully I'll be able to stop back by again soon.

Until next time!

Author's Response: AGH! This is my biggest characterization self-hate! I set Katie up to be someone neat in this chapter and I just worry so much that I never let her live up to it throughout the rest of the story! If you keep going you'll have to let me know, but I think I subordinated her too much in some ways - not a stereotype hopefully, but just not who I necessarily intended her to be fully. SO FRUSTRATING.

The Quidditch match...woof...the first of what will be several. I think this is my favorite that I've written so far because I connected a lot more with it. I've experimented a bit with different styles and voices in Quidditch scenes, but I keep coming back to this one hoping to recapture it. Hopefully I'll be able to in a chapter soon when I have to bring things back to the pitch.

Who knows, maybe Ravenclaw will win that one...(But probably not) :p

Thanks so much for these reviews!


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Review #9, by Red_headed_julietEvolution: Differing Opinions

23rd December 2014:
I enjoy reading about the comrades in their ignorance. You've done a good job at making them seem familiar enough with each other without being completely omniscient, and the strife between Sirius and James is entertaining. Each seems to be vying for leadership, which should be interesting for the student body at large.

And Lupis in probably my favorite. He seems to be the most wise.

Author's Response: Ahh the little spat between Sirius and James. Not the first and certainly not the last ;) But I've always imagined they'd have to have disagreements - especially since they regard each other like brothers (at least what we know from Sirius).

And good old Lupin...I think I dance a fine line with him, trying not to make him TOO wise, but I have also always thought he'd be the "voice of reason"/"advisor" in the group and more introverted because of his condition. You would like him the best with his Ravenclaw-y wisdom though wouldn't you?


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Review #10, by Red_headed_julietEvolution: Another Run-In

23rd December 2014:
If this was a movie, the last scene would've had a nice piano solo to give it that hopeful 'awh' moment. Haha!

As always, I feel like you've really stayed in character with all your canon-ites. Conversation is especially enjoyable as it seems so natural.

Can't wait to read more, just figured I'd drop in and leave you a little line. +]

Author's Response: Hello and thank you! What a pleasant surprise!

Today has been...not quite what I expected (came to work with no court so I could write in peace before my lone appointment and ended up just working the whole entire time), but this is a great pick-me-up!

I'm glad you're still enjoying the story and very glad you think the dialogue feels natural. It's always a struggle when you have people so familiar with so many expectations people have about how they are and such so hopefully that continues!

As for the characterizations, I hope that continues too. Recently I've felt that I got a little wobbly on a few people to the point where I'm thinking of edits in the middle, but maybe I'm just being self-critical. Difficult to say I suppose, but I'm just going to say thanks again and stop rambling to myself :p


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Review #11, by Red_headed_julietL'optimisme: Württemberg

17th December 2014:
I decided to read the whole thing for our swap. +] Just yesterday I said to my hubby "I miss second person point of view" and then I find this!!

I love reading about Gellert/Albus. I'm a sucker for tragedy, and a Ravenclaw, so the abounding intelligence is just addicting.

I have to attack this review logically or it is going to make no sense. (And I'm so sorry, but this is going to be giant.)

Characterization: Your Albus Dumbledore is the perfect amount of hopeless romantic, niave lover, proud intellect, and quirky observer. Everything is just so well constructed, it would make sense that he aged into the character we know and love from the series. I also appreciate the little things. How he calls Gellert my darling when he feels sentimental, and how he apologizes for how affected he was by the loss of him. It's really very interesting to read.

I have to say that I look forward to Gellert's parts more. There's just something about him that I find addicting. The way he seems so collected and hopeful, and then out of nowhere so dangerous and unbalanced. The way Dumbledore speaks about him is only supported by his own internal musings, and it's sad to see how well they know each other. I think the line about how 'there's nothing to say or we already know all there is to say' is very accurate on how a relationship between them would've worked. With men of such intuitive intelligence, the subject matter of intimate conversations would be predictable.

I also find it noteworthy that he has never said/thought Ariana's name, and only refence he makes to her is as 'the girl'. The kind of detachment he shows towards the whole event in general pretty much showcases the difference between him and Albus.

Descriptions:

Beautiful. As an American, I have never seen Paris, Wales, Bulgaria, or any of those places, but your imagery is more than able to paint a vibrant picture. Also, the way you tie in landscape and environments with deeper moods and associations is very subtle yet impactful. It really conveys how deeply they affected each other, and how they were never able to escape from their passions.

Plot:

I've never given any thought to the interim between Ariana's death, and his downfall.

Now that you've brought that span of years to my attention, I'm very VERY interested in what is going to continue to happen. The foreknowledge is killer, it really is. The fact that they are aware of it also lends to the overall tragic tone and mood of the piece (which I absolutely love).

I'm very interested to hear more about Mathaus, for example, and I'm thinking that must have been the man that 'they' killed unjustly in Gellert's eyes...

Style:

The way you've written this, from the deeply engrained metaphors, to the duality between conversation and silence, love and passion, hope and desperation, all of it tastefully and artfully done. There is certainly a reason this got a Dobby award. You certainly deserved it.

Nothing stands out as awkward, or misplaced. The transitions are all well timed and correctly transitioned. Tense is consistent, even though foreknowledge is often very difficult to write when doing things chronologically, not to mention writing in second person point of view from two different view points!

I'm definitely so glad that I got to read this, and will be coming back for more!

Until next time!

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Review #12, by Red_headed_julietWhen Summer Fades: syzygy

15th December 2014:
Oh man. Poor Reg. I'm going to love this story. I'm such a sucker for tragedy.

Ok, well! I enjoy the introspection and how much of Reg's thoughts we're getting in this chapter. I really feel the internal battle going on now, his struggle with morality in general.

Honestly, the only bit of CC I have is that I would like more. Lol. When you say that Sirius would like Summer, why? What about her did Reg think Sirius would like? What does Anne look like? What about her dad?

I think the more details you put in, the more immersive it will be. With this being in first person, it can start to sound a bit narrative, but the more you describe, the less it will seem like that.

The sinking feeling in my stomach when he found the thing about Horcruxes was a good thing. You subtly reminded us of how this is bound to end, and the foreknowledge plus anticipation just makes this little piece a nail biter.

I'm so happy that I'm so sad about this! Haha. Thank you so much for the swap! Until next time!

Author's Response: He has definitely changed a lot since the previous chapter, for sure! So much internal angst haha yeah. It's a huge struggle for anyone to go through.

Ah, you love descriptions too - an author after my own heart, really :D Since it's only a three part story though, it gave me limited space to describe everything. I suppose I left out some about the descriptions of Summer's parents in order to include other things. (They are briefly described in the third chapter, I believe.) I hope it didn't seem too much like telling rather than showing! :S

I'm glad you liked that part about him finding the horcruxes... although it does remind you about the inevitable sad ending, it's great to hear that it was suspenseful and keeps up anticipation!

Thanks for the swap! :)


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Review #13, by Red_headed_julietpresent, past.: 1

15th December 2014:
Hello! Here for the swap!

I enjoyed how you first grabbed our attention with the mystery aspect of it. Foreknowledge is sometimes just as scary as anticipation, and you used that to your advantage. I don't think I've ever thought about Harry going through a crime scene like this before. Great idea!

I also think that switching back and forth between tenses helped to separate the two pov's, and you did it very smoothly! Everything felt like it was in the right place.

The descriptions in this were wonderfully vibrant, I felt like I could really see all the destruction. It's nice to be that included in the story, and exceptional that you managed to pull it off with such a small word limit.

All in all a great read! Thank you so much for the swap!

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thanks so much for this amazing review! I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the swap!

Lo :)


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Review #14, by Red_headed_julietTwo Earthly Kingdoms: To Anger a God

14th December 2014:
This is wonderful! I believe my favorite quote would be:

"Then, at last, they were all there, anointed with blood and sworn to fervour, cloaks of ambition and promised power about their shoulders, and he looked down the line and could only see rivals, not friends any longer.

When the prize is immortality, there is no room for mercy"

I love how you managed to describe them emotionally and physically all at once. I also quite enjoyed the part with 'smoke' coming out of people when they would speak. It was so vibrant I could see the thick plums enveloping him. The entire piece has such a wonderful flow to it. Each thing moving seamlessly into the next.

Also, Holy metaphors Batman! You managed to stack those on top of one another without detracting from the storytelling at all! Nothing was confusing or overdone and everything had its purpose.

I enjoyed the internal struggle you set up in Snape, and the way it played out. The whole 'two kingdoms' thing really puts it into perspective. This was a refreshing delve into his mind. I feel like your portrayal puts the right amount of responsibility on his shoulders. You explore what he wanted, the wrong choices he made, and even explore deliberation, which is always nice to see.

This piece in particular makes me fall in love with words again. Your vocabulary, syntax, and mood are a force to be reckoned with. I enjoyed it whole-heartedly.

The piece is simply beautiful. 10/10

Oh, and this was brought to you by the B v B. +]

Until next time!

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Review #15, by Red_headed_julietSeven: Seven is the most magical of numbers.

9th December 2014:
Hello! Here for B v B.

I love the vibrant vocabulary in this! It takes a lot of talent to adhere to a strict format while simultaneously creating a rich story that isn't hindered by the structure. This one-shot certainly benefits from it! I loved it!

"Sirius scarpers to the corner, but can't escape the despondency." I love big words!!

I also enjoyed how you used bold letters for the increasing desperation of 'no' after the Halloween night. It was a great way to shake things up without bogging them down with adjectives.

I only have one little point of CC, and that is you may want to change the POV of the middle sentence.

"The perfect combination of his mother and father, of their love and passion. But, Wormtail is still on the loose and Remus needs help. The dementors come for Sirius, but it is Harry who saves him."

All the other transitions went smoothly, but this one seemed a little off. Just a suggestion thought.

The entire piece was wonderful! I'm so glad I got a chance to stop in and read it +]

Author's Response: Hi there!

I'm so sorry that it has taken me this long to respond. Thank you so much for this awesome review! I'm so glad you liked this story. It really was fun to write.

Yay! Big words! I like them too :)

I'm not exactly sure how to fix that one sentence. I was trying to imply that Remus needs *Sirius's* help - because he realized that Peter wasn't dead. I will look at that whole paragraph again.

Thanks again!
♥ Beth


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Review #16, by Red_headed_julietHurricane Luna: He Loses on an Island

3rd December 2014:
Hello! Here for the B v B review!

I miss Luna too, Rolf!

Her absence was profound, and I like the mood that you managed to keep consistent until the end. It surprised me how much time had passed, I really thought that they would kiss and make up.

It does seem more like Luna to go running off in a misguided grand romantic gesture though. And of course, her spirit of adventure coaxes him into the natural state of *drum roll* knight and shining armor! right? I sincerely hope that there's more coming.

As always, I love how you have made Rolf such a unique, quirky, and decidedly wizard character. +]

Until next time!

Author's Response: Hiya!

Eep - this review was so awesome - thanks! I'm so glad you like my version of Rolf. I know it isn't what most people think of him, but it just makes sense to me. Luna should have a passionate, deep love with someone and I think that would only happen if they were opposites.

I'm not sure that Rolf actually fits the "knight in shining armor" role - he can barely keep his thoughts straight! But everyone has their own way of showing their love.

I am planing on continuing this! The next chapter is 90% done.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #17, by Red_headed_julietEvolution: Words of Wisdom

23rd September 2014:
"Women have a gift for that, leaving the boy in the past when the man emerges."

Favorite quote. I love that. Haha.
Francis is wonderful. He seems to be a very wise man who still remembers what it's like to be young.

Hopefully I'll get a bit of free time again soon.

Until next time!

Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words. I don't think I'm a very "quotable" author so it's nice there was something like that you liked it there!

Francis is a good guy. I'm hoping to develop his relationship with James a little more in roughly the second half of the story, so I hope if you keep reading you find that he stays wise, grounded, and most importantly, a good dad.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #18, by Red_headed_julietEvolution: The End of the Line

12th August 2014:
I'm very excited to continue this. I was a little daunted with how many existing chapters there are, but I've been being a new addiction and the slow burn of James and Lily getting together was just too hard to resist. And now I don't have to wait for validation for awhile.

From the first two chapters, I know you're going to do it justice. This will probably end up being Canon in my head. Lily 's introspection about her relationship with Severus seemed genuine, heartfelt, and mature. Very much in sync with how I picture her temperament.

I really appreciate the distinction you made about why the slur, and that moment, served as the final straw. She wasn't so petty as to leave him behind for insulting her. That was just the manifestation of her fears, and she's a strong enough person to know when enough is enough.

The contrast between James's summer and hers wasn't lost on me. It will be interesting to see how their differing backgrounds and priorities influence the story.

Sorry I don't have any CC. It's just too good so far +)

Thank you so much for the swap, I'm certainly adding this to my reading list. (Especially since I couldn't just stop at the first chapter)

Until next time!

Author's Response: Howdy!

I'm really glad you liked it! These early chapters were not my favorites really as they were written when I was coming off a five-year hiatus from writing (and almost from even reading) fiction. I will give you fair warning that this story definitely puts the SLOW in slow burn, so be ready! But if you do carry on it would be super to even have occasional feedback from an excellent writer like yourself. There are a number of things I'm considering revising once I finish so I'd be interested to see if you agree.

That bit about Lily ending her friendship with Snape is just it! I feel like a lot of the time people get so caught up in the slur itself that a lot of what was really behind it in canon gets ignored. This is actually the first sign of a couple of things that I try to express throughout the story about Lily - first that she CAN change her mind about someone (obviously, see James), but also the flip of that - how much it takes to overcome her firmly-held opinion on someone.

You're way too kind to me, especially being as the story I read of yours was so incredibly good, but I appreciate the wonderful feedback just the same!

Thanks for swapping with me!


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Review #19, by Red_headed_julietHow to Fly: How to Fly

12th August 2014:
This is ridiculously heart warming. I connected immediately to her in the beginning. The most trying car ride I have ever been in was on the way home from the hospital after my son was born.

The parallels you made at each interval were touching, and they really added to the timelessness feel. A mother's love never changes, it only grows. I also loved hearing about what she inherited from Ron. It was really sweet. I laughed thinking about Hermione attempting to ride a broom again, and assuring herself the dragon was much more of an accomplishment.

I didn't see any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. Everything flowed beautifully, and you portrayed a lot of emotions in such a limited amount of words!

I think it's such a lovely idea, especially for a gift, and I'm sure she'll love it!

B v B review

Author's Response: Hello!

Haha - yeah, I think every first time parent has that complete wash of utter responsibility thrust upon them as they leave the hospital. You have to remind yourself that people have been having babies for thousands and thousands of years and they all got through it.

I put in the little snippets of Ron because I wanted to show that Hermione loves finding parts of Ron in her daughter just as much as finding parts of herself.

The broom part was to show that we sometimes do things we *really* don't want to just because our kids ask us to - haha!

Thanks again for this lovely review!

Beth


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Review #20, by Red_headed_julietThe Protector: The Protector

12th August 2014:
Oh man... all the feels. Fred is my favorite character, so this really hit home for me.

Up until I read this I always rather disliked Percy. However, your explanation of his heroism sheds him in a new light while staying completely in character, and I have developed a soft spot for him because of it. Bravo.

The inner turmoil and changing emotions were described quite well, really bringing it all home, if that makes any sense. It just broke my heart when he said "Isn't the battle over?" Man. All the feels.

I saw no grammatical or spelling errors. Tense was all correct and flow was great. None of the transitions seemed abrupt or jarring! An all around great one shot. I think you fulfilled the qualifications of both challenges beautifully!

Thanks so much for the story and the swap!

Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much for this lovely review! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and that this helped enlighten Percy for you. It's definitely what I was trying to do - I feel like he was more villainized than he needed to be in the series, considering he really did do a lot of great things. You can thank my beta for the no grammatical errors part ;)

Thanks so much for the review and the swap, it's very appreciated!

Jackie


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Review #21, by Red_headed_julietMorbid: Cousin Larry

12th August 2014:
First let me say so so so sorry this took so long. Computers are not my friend right now.

Anyways, I love it. Hands down absolutely love it. He is hilarious. Your characterization of Teddy is completely original and unique, and took me quite by surprise as I've never seen the movie before.

At first I thought McLaren had died from the blazing curse, and that was the funeral he was attending. I was a bit alarmed, but then it made sense. I'm going to guess that Merlin is a figment of his imagination? Amy seems quite promising and quirky as well.

I didn't notice any grammar or spelling errors, so kudos on that. I'm horrible at editing so my things are normally chalk full of them.

I will certainly be continuing with this next chance I get. Thanks so much for the swap!

Author's Response: It's absolutely fine! I've taken much longer before haha.

It makes me so happy that you like Teddy's characterization! I was afraid people would be a bit put off actually.

I never thought about people thinking that Teddy killed Michael but now that I think about it, the implication is there. Teddy isn't quite THAT dark though, luckily.

I have a solid answer about Merlin but I'm not sure if I really wrote it into this story honestly. And Amy is just a bunch of fun to write.

I'm glad you liked this, thanks for the swap!


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Review #22, by Red_headed_julietSing Your Aria: I'll Care For You Too

11th August 2014:
"But suddenly, Sirius realized that he couldn’t keep his promise, because on the ground was a stool and on the stool was a pale Aria and on a pale Aria was a hat that had just bellowed out to the whole wide hall and the whole wide world: “SLYTHERIN!”

^^Favorite quote of the day^^ It seems so in character with an eleven year old boy hopping and dreading at the same time. I quite like the tone it lends.

I certainly saw the poetic part of this! Is was certainly beautiful writing, and the tone and feel of it grew and changed throughout the story. I love tragedies, so the ending was sad, but very fitting. Poor Sirius.

The style was wonderful. I almost wish there were more, but the berevity also kind of underlined all the important issues. I think it kind of reflected how short and stunted their relationship was.

Very, very nice! Good luck in the challenges! This was beautiful.

B v B review

Author's Response: 3 reviews. In one day. What is this world coming to?

Thank you, thank you, thank you Juliet for the sweet review! Before this piece, my work had always been humorous and stuff so I was worried if I could capture this kind of emotion. I'm really happy that people think I got the point across.

Oh, Ravenclaws... we're just so epic. Like, a review battle? Only those colored bronze and blue. :)

-Meena


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Review #23, by Red_headed_julietSevenfold: everything you touch, only dies

2nd August 2014:
Now that the cup is over I can finally finish this story!

I love the title, very fitting, and it set the mood off right. I like the ending. It's very tragic, but expeted, and I like how the final sentence really depicts the difference between the sevenfold killers.

Yay for James! Haha. I'm glad he got a good one, finally. +]

You did very well on this story, and hopefully as RL comes back to sanity I'll be able to get hooked on another of your fictions. +] I look forward to reading more.

Thanks for this!

Until next time.

Author's Response: Hello!! :) I'm sorry for taking so long to reply to this - I hope you know how much all your reviews and reactions to this story have meant to me over the past few months!

Whenever I hear the lyric of the title in its song now, I always think of this story and Louis and the killer. I'm pleased you liked the ending, and how it tied in with the original sevenfold killer.

Hehe, James being with Alfie was a little silver lining to the sad ending. I felt like they would be a cute couple.

I'm so honoured you liked this, truly, and thank you so very much for being so supportive and lovely. It means so much! ♥


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Review #24, by Red_headed_julietWhen Summer Fades: equinox

15th July 2014:
I'm going to review this as I go, so excuse me if I say something dumb that's explained thoroughly later.

I enjoyed your exposition in the beginning. It wasn't too heavy handed or abrupt, and was detailed, yet brief. It gives us a good basis to start out with. +] It can be difficult to get people involved in the introduction, but I'm already getting a feel for Reg. (I call him that because I can never remember how to spell his name, and I don't want to scroll up because laziness.)

I also like the 'Summer' pun. Though now I feel a bit anxious for her.

"I hate it when people are too happy." Gah, who are these losers? Oh yeah, Death Eaters. Nice introduction. "I have to go wash my hand, it's been sullied by a Mudblood." I like the semi-act he has going on. It all seems to flow so naturally.

I like how you aren't bogging down things with too much description, and when you do add things, like the pink nail polish, it flows well. Nothing seems alienated.

Yes! I just got to the part where she didn't smile at him. +] It's surprising me how emotionally invested in this I have become. Very nicely done!

Awh, man. The inner turmoil is starting to set it. I appreciate that you don't spell everything out. You let the reader come their own conclusions. A very good habit to have. He's starting to remind me a little of Draco.

Hmmm... This sentence seems a bit wonky to me.

"The next time when there was a good sunset was three days later, so I went back to the Tower then."

(figured some CC in this review might actually be nice. Haha.)

Yeah! Call him Reg. +] I feel like I'm in a special club now. (Sorry if this review degenerated into rambling. I'm just enjoying this story.)

"So I continued to stretch across the ever-widening gap between two worlds." -new favorite quote of the day. I don't know why, as it's really simple, but I think this sentence is beautiful.

Oh no. Oh no. Ok, I have more reviews for the swap, but I'm totally adding this to my reading list. I love the dynamic. The secrets, the hush hush. I love how Summer is a martyr (hopefully not literally) and I'm annoyed with Reg.

In summary, this is awesome. Your characterization is perfect. Flow (other then that ONE sentence) is amazing. Description is neither too scarce, or overbearing. Grammar and punctuation in check! Quite a nice read! Thank you!

Author's Response: This was such an amazing review, I'm sorry it took me ages to respond to it!!

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed the exposition! I wondered if there was TOO much background there so I'm really happy to hear that's not the case :)

Aw, that's such a huge compliment that you're getting emotionally invested in the story ♥ that's so lovely to hear!

Ooh, I like that you compared him to Draco. I hadn't thought about it before but I definitely see where you're coming from there.

Hm, yeah that sentence is a bit wonky, haha. Thanks for pointing it out.

You are in a special club! The awesome people club! :P No worries about rambling - rambly reviews are fun and I'm just so happy you're enjoying the story!

I'm so glad you liked that sentence, that was one of my favourites as well. Due to Regulus' nature this fic makes me sound a lot more eloquent than I actually am :p

Ahh, thank you so much about the characterization and the dynamic between the two friends. I'm so glad you like the description too! I'm seriously blushing at all these compliments, you are too nice ♥ Thanks for such a lovely review and thanks for the swap!!


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Review #25, by Red_headed_julietIn the Way: In the Way

15th July 2014:
This was awesome! I never did like Percy, though it's troubling to think he'd actually put someone away in Azkaban for a murder he committed. *shivers*

Anyways!! I think this was a great little one shot. At first I wasn't sure why you were going back and forth between the present and past, but then it clicked with the dementors and stuff. I think that the style really helped with the mood. While her comments and hatred kind of foreshadow what's going to happen.

The only CC I really have is to watch your tense as sometimes it slips into present tense, and start a new paragraph when a new person delivers dialogue. When they're in the library and she says the whole thing about 'take me out, or will I have to make an appointment?' you never start a new paragraph, and it's a little disconcerting. No biggies though. +]

I really didn't see it happening like that in the end. For a while I was really scared he was going to have turned her in as a muggle born during the you-know-who regime. I'm glad he didn't though. This seems much more in character.

And the end. The end was super creepy. With the spacing, and the disjointed thoughts. *shivers*

All together very well done. Quite a nice little story you've got here. +]


BvB

Author's Response: Thanks! This was a very nice and helpful review. I really wanted Percy to seem exaggeratedly evil. I don't imagine him as that bad, but in this story I tried to make him quite evil. It's good to know I succeeded. :)

I did sort of try to foreshadow the events that would occur, I hope I didn't spoil it too much with the thoughts...

Thanks again for reviewing!
Lauren


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