Reading Reviews From Member: Red_headed_juliet
  
140 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Red_headed_julietle ciel saigne pour nous. : la lune et l’étoile.

3rd April 2015:
Hello! Here for BvB +]

I love how every sentence in this piece demands your attention. Your style and structure is elegant in such a way that you have to savor each word, and it's placement in order to get the whole picture. From the mood of the sky reflected in the mood of the couple, to the repetition of words in threes, everything seems to have been constructed in order to accentuate the tone and mood of the moment.

The flow is smooth, but it was interrupted a little by "How much longer will this gone on for?" I think you mean 'How much longer will this go on for?'.

That's really my only CC, because the piece is just too beautiful to really change anything else. I think that the backstory is almost better infered, with the end and talk of divination reminding me of the narrator in Romeo and Juliet referencing 'star crossed lovers' and fate and destiny.

The piece is great! Definitely a good comeback haha.

Until next time!

Author's Response: Hey there!

Aw, thank you so much. I definitely had a lot of fun writing this and writing it in short segments meant it was a lot easier to sustain the mood of the story, so I'm glad that you managed to find it in everything!

Whoops, yes, that was a silly little mistake of mine and I've cleared it up now :P

Aw, thank you, as I did think about expanding it a little more but decided against it because being all mystical about it was much more fun :D

Thanks for the great review! :D

-Kiana


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Review #2, by Red_headed_julietBunny Slippers: The Longbottom Family

21st March 2015:
Ok, take two on this review. Sorry!

This entire thing is chillingly cruel in the goosebumps kind of way. The missing moments aspect makes it even more chilling, adding that new layer to the tragic story we already love.

Your descriptions were encompassing, really making me feel like I was in the midst of it all.

Going to be honest, I had to read the ONE PART really quickly, and try to not focus on the imagery, cause little boys and... yeah. Man. Not sure how bunny slippers and murder equates to put little Benjamin, but I applaud your mind.

Thank you so much for the swaps. This is a really lovely if wonderfully depressing story. Until next time!

Author's Response: Hi Juliet,

Sorry for the confusion on this one-shot. I really appreciate you reviewing it!

I'm so glad the descriptions came across well. I don't blame you for skipping through Benjamin's death as quickly as possible. It was pretty hard to write.

Thanks again for swapping with me!

~Kaitlin


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Review #3, by Red_headed_julietL'optimisme: Pragmatics

21st March 2015:
I just noticed how all of the chapter titles are different for each of them. I think that goes to say allot about their respective personalities. Albus the romantic and gellert, the realist. I love the entire dichotomy you've created with such beautifully flawed characters. I can't wait for the showdown, though I'm very curious to see which perspective we'll get it from.

I do love how poetic you've made him in these selections. The language is so rich and beautiful, I can't skim through, I have to go slowly so that I don't miss anything. If I can't sit down and give my full attention, I can't read it. I do the same thing with old English. (That's a good thing, to me...)

I really like the idea of him not originally wanting to teach. I think it makes a lot of sense with everything we found out about his avoiding powerful positions.

I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for stopping by again - I'm so happy to know you're still enjoying this! :)

Yeah, they each have their own theme for chapters titles :) I always have themes for chapter titles - it's a habit I can't seem to kick, haha, so I'm so glad you like it! And yeah, it is pretty indicative of their personalities - I tried to adjust the themes to each of them as much as I could without losing them from the overall sense. The showdown! Um, it's a long way off, I'm afraid, haha, and I'm not really sure either, at the moment. Sorry!

Thank you so much! I try to keep as closely to his voice as is possible - especially for Albus - because it's so him, you know? Like, it would be wrong to move too far away from it. I'm so glad you like it, though - I know it's a fairly strong voice in this story.

Thank you! :) I really wanted to avoid the whole 'Hogwarts is my home' thing, a la Harry and Riddle, so I tried to turn that on its head as much as I could :P It's both power, but also a genuine reluctance, I think. He still thinks he's meant for more than that, but it's something of a cage he can put himself in to keep himself from power, if that makes sense ;)

Thank you so so much for the lovely review, and I'm so glad you're excited for the next chapter! :)

Aph xx


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Review #4, by Red_headed_julietautumn leaves.: autumn leaves

19th March 2015:
OH my god I love this so much I wish that I could use expletives in this tiny comment box!

Alright, as someone who identifies as Bi, I've had a few relationships where the other party is not at comfortable with their body as I am. In fact, one of them was trans, and prefers to go by another name now. We were involved through the beginning of the process, though they'd already made the decision before we met.

Having watched someone go through that, I have a deep admiration both for your thought on writing this, and on the way you carried it out. It's not a science, and is very personal to the individual. I think that waiting to change the pronoun from male to female until the second installment was very showing, both in that Al had accepted her feelings, and was making both inward and outward choices to embrace that, and in making sure the reader connected with Al with that gender. Changing just those few words (unfortunately) changes a lot of expectations and assumptions you have about a character. Talking about Al as 'he' internally would've completely negated the point you were trying to make.

I hope that I raise my children to be like the children of Harry and Ginny, Ron and Hermione in this fic. James's response was so touching, and simple and everything that it needed to be, as was Ginny and Harry's. I found Ron's comment to be especially hilarious, and tried to relay it to the hubs, but I guess you had to read it. +]

The name changing is adorable and hilarious. Please please please please please please please, I know I just asked you to make the last one shot i reviewed longer, but I will sacrifice that slash for this one, so long as one or the other happens. I NEED ALL THE SLASH POTTERS! (is slash something we're not supposed to be using anymore? Did we replace it with the acronym in all aspects, or just in the story labels? I'm bad at social cues and don't get offended.)

I am so very happy to see that Scorpius is on board with the 'lets not be scumbags' plan.

The season symbols are great, and I think that you tied them in quite well with Al's emotional state.

All in all a beautiful read, and I can't wait for your brain to churn out more. Good luck on your challenges!

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Review #5, by Red_headed_julieta movement in charcoal.: a movement in charcoal

19th March 2015:
Ok, so I have this noise that I make when I'm excited, and people who love me tell me that it sounds like someone is trying to strangle a rooster as it crows, and I totally just did that. Just so you know.

Also: Kiss me too painter boy! Goodness, he sounds like my type. +]

Anyways, I got on the BvB, and I saw that you wanted a review on something different, but then I got here, and this existed, and now here I am. I will probably go back and read the one you actually want reviewed, but charcoal is my medium, and so I had to stop by.

I love this. I love the way you kept your language in style while adhering to your alphabet challenge. I love the characterization of them both, and the inner turmoil that you've expertly dissected while keeping my attention in this 'closed time closed space' setting. The descriptions are beautiful, and inclusive without them cluttering up the beautiful story.

And getting to the story, I apologize for not having any CC, but you're just too good. Both characters seem to have both flaws and desirable attributes, you established a strong emotional connection to the reader, a very, very good climax and resolution, so yeah! I wish that there was more. Can you make a big story for this?


Until next time!

Author's Response: hah, i am honoured to have produced a rooster-like noise from you! :"D

i love charcoal so much - i am absolute rubbish at art myself but i have a lot of artist friends and it's always my favourite thing to see them work with.

the alphabet challenge seemed really tough at first but once i got into the flow of it, it wasn't too hard to keep my writing in style at the same time! it was actually a lot of fun to challenge myself like that. also when i was first writing this i didn't even expect it to work for the 'closed time closed space' challenge because usually i can't write three sentences without going into a flashback or skipping to another scene, but this one just seemed to come out that way, so i decided to try and finish it without jumping settings! it was a weird writing adjustment again, but i think it was actually easier when i was already messing with my writing style by following the alphabet rule.

oh bless, i'm so glad you liked the characters and their connection. i am honestly very tempted to write a much longer version of james and lorcan's love, but i'm not sure when i'll have time!

thanks so much for reviewing

~Maia


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Review #6, by Red_headed_julietPrincess: Princess

19th March 2015:
The one resounding question I have upon finishing this is WHY ISN"T THERE MORE!

I never was intrigued with Draco, and so I've always just kinda dismissed Astoria, but you're right! There's so much potential!

Ok. Now to start the coherent part of my review.

I find your writing to be rich, with evocative descriptions throughout the entirety. Your transitions, both time skips and back flashes, are smooth and neat, and don't really interrupt the flow of anything.

The conflict that you have is evident, with the hopeful note at the end giving it enough resolution without making everything all better, which I enjoyed quite a bit.

A unique perspective, I found this to be quite entertaining, even there simply wasn't enough of it.

I hope that you continue to write things of this nature, as you did it very well, and will see you next time! Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so happy you enjoyed this, even if it is short. It just felt right to end it where I did.
I'm glad you liked the way I wrote the flashbacks/dreams, and that the descriptions made you feel something while you were reading. I'm also really pleased you thought my perspective was unique! Thank you so much for reading this, and for leaving such a lovely review!
Cassie :)


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Review #7, by Red_headed_julietA Magical Christmas.: A Magical Christmas.

19th March 2015:
"Christmas! It had always been Angie's least favourite time of the year. " I knew I was going to like this from the first line. I, too, was a child who disliked Christmas. I have a large family, but it's split down the middle between my mother's children and my father's, and as both of them loved me so much, it lead to a lot of fights about where I would be and when during the holiday.

I think you've done a very good job explaining her internal thoughts. The low amount of dialogue was surprising, but you managed to supplement that nicely with your descriptions and tone.

I quite enjoyed the chameo's from teachers and students a like, and the idea of thestrals pulling a christmas sled is really fun. +]

All in all, I think you did a great job with the prompt, taking it your own and using the oportunity to remind everyone to be thankful for what they have, and that it can get so much better, if what they have seems to not be enough.

Thank you so much for the swap, until next time!

Author's Response: Sorry to hear your Christmases were something of a hassle as a child. That sounds stressful.

This is a sort of missing moment from one of my novel lengths, so many of the other characters play a larger part in other stories.

I guess the low amount of dialogue is because Angie is a little isolated here. I hadn't noticed it, to be honest, and it is unusual as I usually have a lot of dialogue.

Hagrid just kind of showed up with that sledge. It was not planned and had me thinking, "I have totally lost control of these characters."


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Review #8, by Red_headed_julietmisguided ghosts: veni.

19th March 2015:
This is going to be heartbreaking, isn't it? I"M GOING TO LOVE IT!

As far as your AN, I haven't read any other one shots before this, and I seem to understand the family dynamic and everything well enough, so no need to worry there.

I think that tackling mental illness in the wizarding world is a very original idea. Obviously, ptsd, depression, and alcoholism are things that people need help with and don't always get. Using Ron, a relatable, likable character we all knew as young will only add to the idea that it can happen to anyone, and is a very good idea.

My father is a recovered alcoholic that has been diagnosed with a mild form of schzophrenia, so I definitely already feel emotionally connected with Rose.

I'm so excited to see how this story develops and the things that you implement in order to bring mental health care out of the dark ages for these characters.

I think my favorite line was 'You're Rose *bleeping* Weasley' literally lol'd. Not the figurative lol, but like the hubs was giving me the googly eyes lol. +]

Thank you so much for this swap, I'll definitely be coming by to check on this.

Until next time!

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Review #9, by Red_headed_julietFalling Out: Not About Love

16th March 2015:
Hello! Here for our swap, if you've still got some time when you get this! Sorry it took me so long (impromptu s'mores).

Anyways!

Normally I'm not a big fan of Draco things, because I generally don't like Draco as a character, however I've found I rather enjoy him shipped with Rose, and you've only added to my liking of the pairing.

I think that you incorporated the message and tone of the song into the story seamlessly, while weaving together a coherent and connecting background story, conflict, and resolution in a surprisingly short amount of words. Both characters are original, genuine, and multi-faceted. I especially found the comparison between 'affair' and 'relationship' to really highlight both of their faults, something you don't see often enough.

I enjoyed this very much, thank you for the swap!

Until next time!

Author's Response: Impromptu s'mores are the best kind of s'mores ;)

Drose is SUCH a weird pairing, RIGHT?! I just sort of love it. Particularly because it isn't really allowed to be fluffy, and has to be COMPLEX and DYNAMIC and A BIT ICKY instead.

The story definitely flowed out of the song. I basically just drew out each lyric into a paragraph to make it, and illustrated the ideas with scenes.

Thank you so much for the review and swap!


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Review #10, by Red_headed_julietBruises : Bruises

16th March 2015:
Hello! Here for our swap!

I rather liked this. It's a refreshing view on the missing moments. Your language was evocative and carried the mood and tone effectively without confusion.

The only real CC I have is to give it more! Haha. Maybe juice it up a little, don't be afraid to add in a flashback or something. You've got a really good storyline, ripe with descriptions, and it's very enjoyable how it is. I'm just a glutton. +]

Thank you so much for this swap!

Until next time!

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

Thank you so much! I'm super thrilled that you enjoyed it! :D

There is more coming! :) I'm writing a sequel (Novel length) to this that I should begin posting later this month/early May.

Thanks so much for the swap! I'm really glad you've liked it and I truly appreciate the kind words!! ♥

xoxo Meg


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Review #11, by Red_headed_julietL'optimisme: Hungary

12th March 2015:
Oh Gellert, I've missed you!

I don't have much to say about this, other than your language, plot, character development, and descriptions are all still the greatest things ever. Thank you for this beautiful story. I'm going to try and read the next chapter today as well.

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for dropping by again! I'm so so glad you're still enjoying this! :)

Haha, so glad you missed Gellert - he seems particularly divisive in terms of opinion, so it's nice to see people like him :P

Gah, I really, really don't know what to say in response other than, thank you thank you thank you! This story is absolutely my baby at the moment, so I'm just so happy to see people enjoying it! :)

Thank you so so much for the lovely review! :)

Aph xx


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Review #12, by Red_headed_julietthe woman who married a star and bore a hero: the thunderbird

11th March 2015:
Hello! Here for the B v B.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I started reading, but I'm glad to have come upon such an original idea. I never really gave any thought to the nationality of Kendra, or the ancestry of the Dumbledore boys at all.

I think that the Kendra you created was a very balanced and well rounded woman. She had her own thoughts, opinions, faults, and strengths, and you managed to portray those very vividly in a rather contained one shot.

I like how you explored a number of issues from her point of view as well. Everything from the honeymoon night to the realization her son was homosexual was done with taste while staying true to character.

The only part that caught me off guard was the whole Honoria seducing Percival thing. I had to go back and read that a few times. Not sure if they were supposed to have hooked up, but I just went with it.

The language in it this is beautiful, and I really think that the Native American culture shows through nicely, blending in with the other tones to make it seem more genuine.

A very nice read!

Author's Response: Hey there, Juliet! :) Thank you so much for stopping by!

Thank you so much! I can't claim full originality for it, since it was mentioned in the book that she looked Native American, so I sort of took that and ran with it :P Yeah, I never thought much of it either until I thought more about the Dumbledore family in general, and I liked the idea too much to let it go!

Thank you! :) I really wanted to bring out some of the qualities she's mentioned as having in canon - seeming a bit arrogant, aloof, unfriendly - so that sort of was responsible for some of it, and I tried to think about how her situation would change/affect her emotions and things too. I'm so glad you liked her!

I'm so happy you liked them - I was so nervous about including the ethnic/racial elements, and the sexuality elements because they're very personal things, you know? And I really didn't want to get them wrong... it's the kind of thing which needs to be right, so I'm so glad they turned out okay!

Ooh, it's not meant to sound like that, sorry! Honoria's meant to be telling Kendra that Kendra seduced Percival with just a smile, not Honoria :P I'll take a look at that - see if I can make it clearer (I didn't edit this before putting it up). Thank you so much for pointing it out! :)

Thank you - it was so important to me to make it seem genuine and real for Kendra, not just a token thing, you know, and I'm really, completely indebted to TreacleTart for all her help on this with the Native American culture. I really, really couldn't have done it without her and she's so much of the reason why this is the way it is.

Thank you so much for the lovely review, and for stopping by! :)

Aph xx


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Review #13, by Red_headed_julietMortality: Mortality

8th January 2015:
This is so heart wrenchingly beautiful.

The description of grief is pugnent, yet tasteful and you treat the entire idea with the reverence it deserves.

I love Molly. She's one of my favorite characters. I feel as though characterization of her was spot on. Genuine, with little telling signs to remind us that it's her. The bit about Healing School was cute, I like the idea of her doing that before the slew of children.

All together this was a very lovely little piece, full of rich emotional language.

I met my husband very young, and I can't imagine a time without him. I don't think I could be me anymore without him, and you portrayed that feeling beautifully. I love tragedies!

Until next time! (BvB review)

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Review #14, by Red_headed_julietThe Diagon Alley Gentlemen's Club: Hell Hath No Fury

6th January 2015:
Oo, the intrigue deepens!

I like the gender neutral names you've picked for all the women. It seems fitting that women are running the gentleman's club under 'male' sounding names. You've done a great job at setting up Auden as a character of interest with deep motivation, rich back story, and wonderful descriptions.

I look forward to watching this mystery unfold. It seems like you have quite the plan for this. In my head, it has this noir feel that I love.

Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you for this absolutely wonderful review!

Lo ♥


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Review #15, by Red_headed_julietMorbid: Williams' Bookshop

6th January 2015:
"This girl seemed to be perpetually poised." For some reason, I really really like the way you've phrased this.

I'm so glad I got an excuse to come back to this! I believe this is one of the most original stories I've come across.

I'm so glad that Teddy feels comfortable enough her to take her to the graveyard. Hopefully she'll get to meet Harry and them all soon as well, though I hope her disease gives them at least some time +/ good thing he's comfortable with death? And that explains a bit about their meeting and what not.

I am going to continue on! Thank you so much for the swap

Author's Response: Hi, sorry about this late response!

Thank you, I liked that line as well :) It means so much that you think this is one of the most original stories you've come across, wow.

I'm so glad you're interested in the story so far! Thank you for the swap :)


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Review #16, by Red_headed_julietTrue Romance: The Love You Save (May Be Your Own)

6th January 2015:
And it continues!!!

Ok. This is going to be a lot of driveling nonesense mostly, as I don't have any CC to offer:

First of all, Albus needs to get his stuff together. I hate to say it, cause I love the kid, but this can't be all about Al. He needs to start taking other people into consideration. I feel like he over-corrected with the whole 'being on his own' and now he needs balance. (And I feel this way because your excellent characterization makes him feel like a real person.)

YAY GEORGE! I love his character in this always. I also like how you use the joke shop as Albus's thinking place/home away from home. The mention of Uncle Fred vs cousin Fred was very telling, much like the parenting books Hermione sent. It's always nice to have that extended family feel to things.

I do so hope that Albus will get some sense and go see Cora (great name, too). They're just so ridiculously great together, and Brandon needs him.

Also, Beatrice is awesome. That is all.

(This review brought to you by the BvB battle.)

Until next time!

Author's Response: I'm so happy to see you back!!!

Albus goes through a bit of a transfrmation coming up soon - I promise he will change. I wanted to show how people can over-correct when they are prompted to change - even though it's not for the best with Al.

Part of me thinks that the joke shop isn't a very taxing job for Albus so he can use his time to think through various life issues. I'm so happy you liked the Fred v. Fred comparison. I've always imagined that Hermione would have read all the parenting books she could get her hands on and would consider them essential to becoming a parent.

Albus does go see Cora eventually and the sense may or may not come later. I am glad you like Beatrice!!! :D

thank you for a fab review!

-rose


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Review #17, by Red_headed_julietFanged Revolution: Chapter the Second

6th January 2015:
Hello! I'm here for the Blue vs Bronze battle. +]

You've got a pretty nice beginning to a story here. I think that you've set up a bit of back story capable of supporting good conflicts, as well as relationships between characters.

I do think things moved a little quickly though. At first, I thought Nightstalker was unjustly persecuted, but then he totally just killed someone after saying he didn't want to, which made me unsympathetic. Now, that doesn't mean all vampires should be offed, but I certainly don't feel bad for him anymore.

I am very interested in this ancient Malfoy figure and how you plan to continue portraying him.

Pretty nice story you've got started here. Great descriptions and personalization of internal mechanics.

Until next time!

Author's Response: Hello!

Of all my stories, I think this is the one I'm the most proud of, especially the backstory and the character relationships. Septimus Malfoy and Unctuous Osbert were canon characters created by JKR for a Pottermore release. This story, therefore, could technically be canon, and it gives me a lot of creative freedom.

The vampires as a whole are unjustly persecuted, similar to the werewolves in the book timeline. Nightstalker didn't want to kill the girl, but his vampiric nature took over and he couldn't control himself. The fact that one vampire lost control, of course, doesn't mean that they should all die. (Malfoy, however, doesn't see it that way.)

I'm glad you liked it!

~Olivia


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Review #18, by Red_headed_julietL'optimisme: Malapropisms

29th December 2014:
I think my favorite quote is:
"You were everywhere: in the rustle of leaves behind me as I walked through the forest, in the silence before I fell asleep in bed, in the warmth of the fire as it danced in the grate and played across my wrist, in the glittering drops of frost on the grass in the mornings, each drop a miniature star..."

Your characterization of Dumbledore continues to be very wise and insightful while adding new dimensions to the character. He always seemed so perfect until the last book, and you've given us that balance between the two biased views, from his own POV.

I feel bad for Alain. I think I would've fallen for Dumbledore. And to actually get the shot, but end up short twice?! Gah. That really, really sucks.

I truly enjoy reading this. The language is provocative, in that you are required to feel. The flow is exquisite. The emphasize and transitions are accentuated with a wonderful vocubalary.

Congratulations on another beautiful chapter! I'm looking forward to more. (And now that I'm thinking about it, I miss Gellert.) Also, I'm of the belief your take on their inevitable stand-off will most likely become canon to me. *nod*

Until next time!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for stopping by again! It's so great to see you still like this! :)

I'm so glad you like it - I have this strange habit of insisting on describing everything, haha, and sometimes I wonder if it's too much :P

Thanks! :) I always, always try to refer back to the books with him - with how he was presented and how he seems to see himself, with the whole repentent-sinner type image he tries to present or feels he needs to present. It's surprisingly fun to write!

Yeah, me too! Poor guy... he really does have a bad lot in this story, haha. And yeah, two shots - the first time it ends pretty amicably, but the second time, yeah that's really rough. Not great at all :(

Thank you so much! I'm always so grateful that people still like this story and still read it, even this far in, so thank you so much for stopping by again! (And you're definitely one of a minority in missing Gellert :P Though, tbh, I do love him as a character. There's something so compelling about his pov...).

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review! :)

Aph xx


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Review #19, by Red_headed_julietThe Diagon Alley Gentlemen's Club: Prologue

25th December 2014:
Hello! Here to give a little feedback. Saw the swap on your status, though it's certainly quite alright if I'm too late. +]

First:

Grammar: I saw absolutely nothing out of place. Punctuation, tense, spelling, it all seemed in order. So congratulations! No annoying typos to fix in an edit. +]

Characterization: The prologue is quite short, but I think you've put in enough details to get the point across. You've shown us that Marcus (I love that name) is a rather ritualistic character ("his usual tuna sandwhich") and that he is incredibly deductive and reasonable. Instead of letting the presence of an overly insistent and rather upity man dishevle him, he deduced that the man was either married or very interested in having his case solved.

Little things like that do a great job about expounding on characters without just outright TELLING you, which is always nice. Good job!

Setting: This is the only part of the prologue that seems lacking, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. I just feel like mentioning that when I first start a mystery, I expect to gain a lot from the setting. Is it Noir, Western, Modern, or something new? Where is this office? Is it shabby, well kept, well used, professional, weird? If you expound upon this later, no problem at all. Sometimes it detracts from the introduction to put details like that in. I just figured it was worth mentioning that we will need at least a little more detail eventually. +]

Plot: Again, you've given us probably the perfect little amount for a nice prologue. Something to make sure that you check back in later. A reoccuring string of poisonings that has emotional ties with main character? AWESOME!

All in all, both a wonderfully executed prologue and teaser for what is sure to be an excellent story! Very nice!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so much for this wonderful review!

Lo ♥


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Review #20, by Red_headed_julietEvolution: Just a Game

23rd December 2014:
I WAS #5 TOO! (Now I feel important.)

I'm finding that I rather enjoy Katie. And right now, while he's still cleaning up a bit, I think that she may be a better match for him in this moment than Lily. It's really easy when you know two characters are going to end up together to hate the one 'getting in the way', but you've done a good job with presenting her as a person, instead of the 'other woman' stereotype.

The Quidditch match was very well done. I enjoyed it quite a bit (though my Ravenclaw pride is hurt a bit by the loss. +] )

I'm out of time for now, but hopefully I'll be able to stop back by again soon.

Until next time!

Author's Response: AGH! This is my biggest characterization self-hate! I set Katie up to be someone neat in this chapter and I just worry so much that I never let her live up to it throughout the rest of the story! If you keep going you'll have to let me know, but I think I subordinated her too much in some ways - not a stereotype hopefully, but just not who I necessarily intended her to be fully. SO FRUSTRATING.

The Quidditch match...woof...the first of what will be several. I think this is my favorite that I've written so far because I connected a lot more with it. I've experimented a bit with different styles and voices in Quidditch scenes, but I keep coming back to this one hoping to recapture it. Hopefully I'll be able to in a chapter soon when I have to bring things back to the pitch.

Who knows, maybe Ravenclaw will win that one...(But probably not) :p

Thanks so much for these reviews!


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Review #21, by Red_headed_julietEvolution: Differing Opinions

23rd December 2014:
I enjoy reading about the comrades in their ignorance. You've done a good job at making them seem familiar enough with each other without being completely omniscient, and the strife between Sirius and James is entertaining. Each seems to be vying for leadership, which should be interesting for the student body at large.

And Lupis in probably my favorite. He seems to be the most wise.

Author's Response: Ahh the little spat between Sirius and James. Not the first and certainly not the last ;) But I've always imagined they'd have to have disagreements - especially since they regard each other like brothers (at least what we know from Sirius).

And good old Lupin...I think I dance a fine line with him, trying not to make him TOO wise, but I have also always thought he'd be the "voice of reason"/"advisor" in the group and more introverted because of his condition. You would like him the best with his Ravenclaw-y wisdom though wouldn't you?


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Review #22, by Red_headed_julietEvolution: Another Run-In

23rd December 2014:
If this was a movie, the last scene would've had a nice piano solo to give it that hopeful 'awh' moment. Haha!

As always, I feel like you've really stayed in character with all your canon-ites. Conversation is especially enjoyable as it seems so natural.

Can't wait to read more, just figured I'd drop in and leave you a little line. +]

Author's Response: Hello and thank you! What a pleasant surprise!

Today has been...not quite what I expected (came to work with no court so I could write in peace before my lone appointment and ended up just working the whole entire time), but this is a great pick-me-up!

I'm glad you're still enjoying the story and very glad you think the dialogue feels natural. It's always a struggle when you have people so familiar with so many expectations people have about how they are and such so hopefully that continues!

As for the characterizations, I hope that continues too. Recently I've felt that I got a little wobbly on a few people to the point where I'm thinking of edits in the middle, but maybe I'm just being self-critical. Difficult to say I suppose, but I'm just going to say thanks again and stop rambling to myself :p


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Review #23, by Red_headed_julietL'optimisme: Württemberg

17th December 2014:
I decided to read the whole thing for our swap. +] Just yesterday I said to my hubby "I miss second person point of view" and then I find this!!

I love reading about Gellert/Albus. I'm a sucker for tragedy, and a Ravenclaw, so the abounding intelligence is just addicting.

I have to attack this review logically or it is going to make no sense. (And I'm so sorry, but this is going to be giant.)

Characterization: Your Albus Dumbledore is the perfect amount of hopeless romantic, niave lover, proud intellect, and quirky observer. Everything is just so well constructed, it would make sense that he aged into the character we know and love from the series. I also appreciate the little things. How he calls Gellert my darling when he feels sentimental, and how he apologizes for how affected he was by the loss of him. It's really very interesting to read.

I have to say that I look forward to Gellert's parts more. There's just something about him that I find addicting. The way he seems so collected and hopeful, and then out of nowhere so dangerous and unbalanced. The way Dumbledore speaks about him is only supported by his own internal musings, and it's sad to see how well they know each other. I think the line about how 'there's nothing to say or we already know all there is to say' is very accurate on how a relationship between them would've worked. With men of such intuitive intelligence, the subject matter of intimate conversations would be predictable.

I also find it noteworthy that he has never said/thought Ariana's name, and only refence he makes to her is as 'the girl'. The kind of detachment he shows towards the whole event in general pretty much showcases the difference between him and Albus.

Descriptions:

Beautiful. As an American, I have never seen Paris, Wales, Bulgaria, or any of those places, but your imagery is more than able to paint a vibrant picture. Also, the way you tie in landscape and environments with deeper moods and associations is very subtle yet impactful. It really conveys how deeply they affected each other, and how they were never able to escape from their passions.

Plot:

I've never given any thought to the interim between Ariana's death, and his downfall.

Now that you've brought that span of years to my attention, I'm very VERY interested in what is going to continue to happen. The foreknowledge is killer, it really is. The fact that they are aware of it also lends to the overall tragic tone and mood of the piece (which I absolutely love).

I'm very interested to hear more about Mathaus, for example, and I'm thinking that must have been the man that 'they' killed unjustly in Gellert's eyes...

Style:

The way you've written this, from the deeply engrained metaphors, to the duality between conversation and silence, love and passion, hope and desperation, all of it tastefully and artfully done. There is certainly a reason this got a Dobby award. You certainly deserved it.

Nothing stands out as awkward, or misplaced. The transitions are all well timed and correctly transitioned. Tense is consistent, even though foreknowledge is often very difficult to write when doing things chronologically, not to mention writing in second person point of view from two different view points!

I'm definitely so glad that I got to read this, and will be coming back for more!

Until next time!

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Review #24, by Red_headed_julietWhen Summer Fades: syzygy

15th December 2014:
Oh man. Poor Reg. I'm going to love this story. I'm such a sucker for tragedy.

Ok, well! I enjoy the introspection and how much of Reg's thoughts we're getting in this chapter. I really feel the internal battle going on now, his struggle with morality in general.

Honestly, the only bit of CC I have is that I would like more. Lol. When you say that Sirius would like Summer, why? What about her did Reg think Sirius would like? What does Anne look like? What about her dad?

I think the more details you put in, the more immersive it will be. With this being in first person, it can start to sound a bit narrative, but the more you describe, the less it will seem like that.

The sinking feeling in my stomach when he found the thing about Horcruxes was a good thing. You subtly reminded us of how this is bound to end, and the foreknowledge plus anticipation just makes this little piece a nail biter.

I'm so happy that I'm so sad about this! Haha. Thank you so much for the swap! Until next time!

Author's Response: He has definitely changed a lot since the previous chapter, for sure! So much internal angst haha yeah. It's a huge struggle for anyone to go through.

Ah, you love descriptions too - an author after my own heart, really :D Since it's only a three part story though, it gave me limited space to describe everything. I suppose I left out some about the descriptions of Summer's parents in order to include other things. (They are briefly described in the third chapter, I believe.) I hope it didn't seem too much like telling rather than showing! :S

I'm glad you liked that part about him finding the horcruxes... although it does remind you about the inevitable sad ending, it's great to hear that it was suspenseful and keeps up anticipation!

Thanks for the swap! :)


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Review #25, by Red_headed_julietpresent, past.: 1

15th December 2014:
Hello! Here for the swap!

I enjoyed how you first grabbed our attention with the mystery aspect of it. Foreknowledge is sometimes just as scary as anticipation, and you used that to your advantage. I don't think I've ever thought about Harry going through a crime scene like this before. Great idea!

I also think that switching back and forth between tenses helped to separate the two pov's, and you did it very smoothly! Everything felt like it was in the right place.

The descriptions in this were wonderfully vibrant, I felt like I could really see all the destruction. It's nice to be that included in the story, and exceptional that you managed to pull it off with such a small word limit.

All in all a great read! Thank you so much for the swap!

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thanks so much for this amazing review! I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the swap!

Lo :)


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