Reading Reviews From Member: Red_headed_juliet
  
109 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Red_headed_julietWhen Summer Fades: equinox

15th July 2014:
I'm going to review this as I go, so excuse me if I say something dumb that's explained thoroughly later.

I enjoyed your exposition in the beginning. It wasn't too heavy handed or abrupt, and was detailed, yet brief. It gives us a good basis to start out with. +] It can be difficult to get people involved in the introduction, but I'm already getting a feel for Reg. (I call him that because I can never remember how to spell his name, and I don't want to scroll up because laziness.)

I also like the 'Summer' pun. Though now I feel a bit anxious for her.

"I hate it when people are too happy." Gah, who are these losers? Oh yeah, Death Eaters. Nice introduction. "I have to go wash my hand, it's been sullied by a Mudblood." I like the semi-act he has going on. It all seems to flow so naturally.

I like how you aren't bogging down things with too much description, and when you do add things, like the pink nail polish, it flows well. Nothing seems alienated.

Yes! I just got to the part where she didn't smile at him. +] It's surprising me how emotionally invested in this I have become. Very nicely done!

Awh, man. The inner turmoil is starting to set it. I appreciate that you don't spell everything out. You let the reader come their own conclusions. A very good habit to have. He's starting to remind me a little of Draco.

Hmmm... This sentence seems a bit wonky to me.

"The next time when there was a good sunset was three days later, so I went back to the Tower then."

(figured some CC in this review might actually be nice. Haha.)

Yeah! Call him Reg. +] I feel like I'm in a special club now. (Sorry if this review degenerated into rambling. I'm just enjoying this story.)

"So I continued to stretch across the ever-widening gap between two worlds." -new favorite quote of the day. I don't know why, as it's really simple, but I think this sentence is beautiful.

Oh no. Oh no. Ok, I have more reviews for the swap, but I'm totally adding this to my reading list. I love the dynamic. The secrets, the hush hush. I love how Summer is a martyr (hopefully not literally) and I'm annoyed with Reg.

In summary, this is awesome. Your characterization is perfect. Flow (other then that ONE sentence) is amazing. Description is neither too scarce, or overbearing. Grammar and punctuation in check! Quite a nice read! Thank you!

Author's Response: This was such an amazing review, I'm sorry it took me ages to respond to it!!

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed the exposition! I wondered if there was TOO much background there so I'm really happy to hear that's not the case :)

Aw, that's such a huge compliment that you're getting emotionally invested in the story ♥ that's so lovely to hear!

Ooh, I like that you compared him to Draco. I hadn't thought about it before but I definitely see where you're coming from there.

Hm, yeah that sentence is a bit wonky, haha. Thanks for pointing it out.

You are in a special club! The awesome people club! :P No worries about rambling - rambly reviews are fun and I'm just so happy you're enjoying the story!

I'm so glad you liked that sentence, that was one of my favourites as well. Due to Regulus' nature this fic makes me sound a lot more eloquent than I actually am :p

Ahh, thank you so much about the characterization and the dynamic between the two friends. I'm so glad you like the description too! I'm seriously blushing at all these compliments, you are too nice ♥ Thanks for such a lovely review and thanks for the swap!!


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Review #2, by Red_headed_julietIn the Way: In the Way

15th July 2014:
This was awesome! I never did like Percy, though it's troubling to think he'd actually put someone away in Azkaban for a murder he committed. *shivers*

Anyways!! I think this was a great little one shot. At first I wasn't sure why you were going back and forth between the present and past, but then it clicked with the dementors and stuff. I think that the style really helped with the mood. While her comments and hatred kind of foreshadow what's going to happen.

The only CC I really have is to watch your tense as sometimes it slips into present tense, and start a new paragraph when a new person delivers dialogue. When they're in the library and she says the whole thing about 'take me out, or will I have to make an appointment?' you never start a new paragraph, and it's a little disconcerting. No biggies though. +]

I really didn't see it happening like that in the end. For a while I was really scared he was going to have turned her in as a muggle born during the you-know-who regime. I'm glad he didn't though. This seems much more in character.

And the end. The end was super creepy. With the spacing, and the disjointed thoughts. *shivers*

All together very well done. Quite a nice little story you've got here. +]


BvB

Author's Response: Thanks! This was a very nice and helpful review. I really wanted Percy to seem exaggeratedly evil. I don't imagine him as that bad, but in this story I tried to make him quite evil. It's good to know I succeeded. :)

I did sort of try to foreshadow the events that would occur, I hope I didn't spoil it too much with the thoughts...

Thanks again for reviewing!
Lauren


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Review #3, by Red_headed_julietIn The Light Of The Moon : How It All Began

14th July 2014:
Hey! Here for a swap!

This was a really cute missing moments thing! I love your internalization of Remus, I think it's quite in cannon. As well as the rest of them really. Your description, dialogue, and flow were all wonderful, and with the counting down to the change you set up an anxious tone, which went hand in hand with Remus's mood perfectly.

The little jokes, like Sirius's sarcasm and James say 'the most handsome' were all little details that added a lot of flavor, and I'm glad you didn't skip out on the opportunity to show that light hearted side they all seemed to have.

At first I wondered why Wormtail went first, then I realized that James wanted to be the finale. +]

Very nice! Until next time!

Author's Response: Hi there!!

Aww thank you so much! I really loved writing this story, so to see how warmly it's been received has been wonderful. :) Thank you for that! The best compliment, to me anyhow, is to hear you've managed to keep a character cannon. (Unless you're writing an AU, which you may not want that response haha). The Marauders are my absolute favorites - as is obvious from my Author's Page - so it's incredibly awesome to hear I was true to all of their characters. I was hoping that the countdown would add a little suspense to the story. I'm really glad that it came through!

Their stories may have all ended tragically, but their lives seemed full of fun and laughter. I wanted to show how young, carefree and brilliant they all were. Even if Remus felt anything but at that moment. That moment in The Shack between James and Sirius was my favorite part to write. I could totally see it happening that way in my head haha.

I didn't even think of it that way! With James wanting to be the finale - which I'm sure he most certainly would have wanted. The main reason I did it that way was to have their names in order. James called Remus "Moony" first. He then introduced Peter as "Wormtail", Sirius as "Padfoot" and then himself as "Prongs." Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. ;)

I'm happy you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for the swap and such a kind review!!

xoxo Meg


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Review #4, by Red_headed_julietan interlude of you.: thoughts from a prison of stone.

9th July 2014:
I love your characterization of Gellert in this. His determination and calculating personality were all very apparent in the first section, making the descent into his self-conscioius, nervous state even more striking.

Normally I think about Gellert as always haunting Dumbledore, but here you've switched it around, and I quite enjoy the fresh perspective. Dumbledore's life went on, while Gellert's never really progressed after the duel with Dumbledore.

My favorite line was probably:

"Now and then, we would sit by the banks of the river and watch the moon's rays bleach the water a lighter hue, the soft ripples dissipating the colour until it all faded to the ebony black which now possessed my heart. "

The language and description is utterly beautiful, completely vivid and really adds to the moment.

A very wonderful job!

House Cup 2014- Decree 5

Author's Response: Hi Juliet!

I'm glad you liked his characterisation as it was different to how I had planned to write him as he is a lot more aware of himself and others towards the end and perhaps even nervous as you said. Ooh, I'm glad you liked that but I think Dumbledore probably thought the same of Gellert which makes me wonder if they had stayed together would they be happy or not.

Aw, thank you and thanks for this amazing review, it really made me smile! ♥

-Kiana


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Review #5, by Red_headed_julietThe Final Journey: The Final Journey

8th July 2014:
This was wonderful! I like how much intelligence and insight you were able to give him in so few words. I really felt as though he was a dear friend, and not just a useful pet, which is exactly how Dumbledore would've perceived him. The description is wonderful. I could really see, hear, and feel everything your described. There wasn't anything that took me out of the story.

A wonderful little one-shot! I'm so glad I got to read it!

House Cup 2014- Decree 4

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so happy that you liked the story and that you thought that Fawkes was believable. I definitely wanted to portray his friendship with Dumbledore, rather than just a human/pet relationship. Thank you so much for your compliments!

--Emily


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Review #6, by Red_headed_julietSevenfold: in the dark, count mistakes

8th July 2014:
Woo hoo!! I knew it. +] Haha. I didn't even notice the anagram. Cool!

I think this was a very fitting resolution, though I do feel very bad for Louis in all this. Hopefully he and Emily will get to holding hands next chapter. +] Progress is progress, after all. +]

I'm glad that Neville ended up practically not involved at all. Unwittingly throwin into a revenge plot for a vow he made at Hogwarts makes much more sense. Very in canon with his luck.

I did't see anything as far as CC. The resolution with Ada, and the reconciling with the ghosts of her past was just as satisfying as the identity of the sevenfold killer copycat.

The mystery was very well put together, and I was still doubting whether or not Eugunie was the killer, because you did leave room for it to be someone else.

Whew. Thank you for a wonderful story!

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: Hello!

You totally knew it!! Haha, I was so excited when you figured it all out and put the pieces together, it was awesome.

Louis is sort of a huge victim in this since not only was he falling for her, but he's personally and professionally implicated. She basically played him, even if her feelings grew for him by the end. I think the way he reacts in the final chapter must surprise or upset people, I'm almost a little nervous to post it.

Yes, Neville was really just a victim of circumstance. He made a lot of sense with motive and it was logical to frame him, and yes he has always been very unlucky.

I'm pleased you liked Ada's ending! It was very sad for me to say goodbye to her but her time had come, and it was a relief for her to finally die after unloading the final secret.

Thank you!! I'm so glad you liked the mystery, I loved writing it and learned a lot. I've truly loved each of your incredible reviews on this. ♥ The final chapter should be up this week!! :D


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Review #7, by Red_headed_julietHurricane Luna: They Scorch in a Desert

7th July 2014:
Totally didn't see that one coming.

Your description throughout the piece was very well balanced. You made sure we understood how bothered Rolf was by the temperature without over doing it.

Arg. I can see why you wouldn't want to write this chapter. I know everyone has their fights, but he can't really think that Luna 'left him'. He told her to leave. Technically, he left her. She should be the one upset right now. I have no sympathy for you, Rolf! You made Luna cry!

Arg. I can't wait to read more, I think you've wonderfully with the quote. Until next time!

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: Hi!

Yes, Rolf left Luna, but he can't see it that way, can he? I was excited to read your comment about the descriptions. I was really worried that I had gone over the top with them, but I really didn't want to downplay the extreme heat and how it was affecting Rolf. I am working on the next chapter - a little more drama to come and I just wanted to extend a heartfelt thank you because you have been such a great champion for this story. It is my first novella and I was worried about the pace and well, the story overall.

Thanks again - I really appreciate the review!


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Review #8, by Red_headed_juliet...Not a Twinkle...: ...Not a Twinkle...

7th July 2014:
This is adorable! I'm a huge Ginny/Harry fan, so it's nice to see this missing moment from the series.

I think the brief dialogue is very in canon, as I don't think that either one of them would feel the need to talk much after that. The inner monologue solidifies Ginny as a rather introspective character, and as the youngest in a large family, I think fits perfectly.

"Because it's love. And love is fear. And fear is always the one thing that makes hopes presence known and when hope rises above fear that's when you can reach out."

New favorite quote of the day.

Congratulations on accomplishing so much in so little words! The tone in this piece is very much apparent!

Until next time! House Cup 2014- Decree 2

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Review #9, by Red_headed_julietTrue Romance: A View to a Kill

7th July 2014:
I'M SO GLAD HE'S NOT DEAD!!! Agh! So. Yes.

Corbin: I don't like him that much, going to be honest. It seems like he'll be supressive, selfish, and may even only be in it to get in on Scorpius's inheritance. I don't like that he had given such thought to Scorpius's standing financially. And he doesn't seem to be an honest business man. I just worry for him, that's all. (And the fact that I can be debating internal motives is a nod to your characterization, as always.)

It's good that Rose is showing at least a little more initiative to change her outlook on life and actually put forth a little effort to do what she wants, though they do have a point about her thinking it all the way through. Starting a business isn't exactly easy.

Brandon, once again, proves himself to be the best guy on the face of the planet, and Al better not hold it against him. He can't help it if he didn't know he had a kid, and like James said, why is that such a big deal when Al is comfortable with them. It's not like the existance of a daughter or previous girlfriend changes the way he thinks about him. (I'm still shipping Al/Brandon)

Very nicely done! I'm excited to know this is what you're doing for July NaNo! I can't wait to read more.

Until next time!

House Cup 2014 - Decree 2

Author's Response: I WAS GLAD TO NOT KILL HIM!!

Okay, no one likes Corbin. BUT HAS ANYONE GIVEN HIM A CHANCE?!? well, probably. but, still. Um, yeah, the greed bit kind of came through. He's not technically breaking any laws. that's all I can say about his business practices. I LOVE THAT YOU END UP DEBATING THE MOTIVIES OF MY CHARACTERS. :D

Rose is definitely taking the bulls by the horns. and, you know, giving her career a go.

Brandon might possibly be an impossibility in RL. I've come to accept this and have cried about it over my cheerios. I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE STILL SHIPPING BRANBUS!

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!! I think I'm set up to finish by the end of the month!!

-Rose


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Review #10, by Red_headed_julietVernon's Story: Meeting Swirley Jr

7th July 2014:
This entire piece was lovely, I especially liked how the mood changed from serious to silly with such ease throughout. The style really does remind me of J. M. Bairre, so kudos for pulling off such an entertaining narrative.

I think that your portrayal of Vernon and Petunia is really spot on, complimenting the original absurdity of their characters from the first few HP books. Swirley Jr. also seems to have the right quirkiness vs sinister ration, which is always incredibly entertaining.

I'm assuming that Swirley is the kid in the bathroom, now out to take revenge on Vernon. I think this is quite an interesting take on the quote, and a great premise for a story like this.

Very well done! I was thoroughly entertained!

Author's Response: Hi Juliet!
Your review made me so happy ♥
I was a bit worried that the alternation between serious and senseless would confuse and disgruntle readers, so I'm very glad that it doesn't! Because I want to keep the serious aspects of this story without it becoming too much of a weight on the soul, you know? ^^
Wow, what a compliment! Thank you so much, you made me blush and giggle (repeatedly)!

I love and hate that Vernon and Petunia are canon, because I originally started writing this story for a Challenge called 'Canon Craziness' ^^' but somehow couldn't sway too much from the Dursleys we know (because in a way, they are fascinatingly fun to write).

Oh yes, Johnathan is very quirky. As he has waited for his revenge, he still has a bit of patience in him yet could easily lose it now that he's so close to getting what he wants. I like to see him as a tiny Moriarty but that'd imply that Vernon is a fat Sherlock and although that would be very entertaining to write or read, Vernon is Vernon and not especially the brightest ^^
And yes, Swirley is the kid that suffered a swirly in the first chapter - I like to play with the thought that they named the act after him. But shush, more about him in chapter 5 (chapter 4 is Meeting the Potters^^).

Thank you, I had (and I'm still having) much fun with the Peter Pan quotes so I'm really glad you created the challenge, even more that I got so ride the wave you created and snagged the third place ♥ It all makes me very happy ^^
I'm delighted that you liked it!!

*Gee


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Review #11, by Red_headed_julietTrue Romance: Live and Let Die

6th July 2014:
Oh no. I'm hoping for coma in St. Mungo's and not dead. Please please please, let him not be dead.

Ok. There were a few parts in here that I think could've used a beta. Some words missing and a little incorrect tense. That's really it as far as CC goes. Nothing major.

I'm always stuck by the fallibility of your characters. They have faults. They drink when they get stood up and make decisions that might not be the best. They wrestle with their consciousness, like real people do, and it makes them endearing.

Pressing forward! And this is another for the House Cup! (And my 100th review! Woo hoo!)

Author's Response: YOU CAN HOPE ALL YOU WANT... But I won't make promises about people dying.

Ooh, yeah, thanks for pointing that out. I've gone ahead and got a beta for this so my editing will slowly be put into play.

I like writing people who make mistakes. I mean, if they were perfect then there wouldn't be a lot to write about. I'm really glad that their faults stand out as a strength in this story. :D

Yay for review 100!!!

Thank you so much for such a lovely review!


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Review #12, by Red_headed_julietTrue Romance: In the Waiting Line

6th July 2014:
Hello! Here with a House Cup review.

I think that Rose and Scorpius really needed this restitution. I'm glad that he didn't try to deceive her in any way, and came out with the entire truth.

*gasp* Was that a reference to the Charlie/Savage relationship? So sad! I hope that the Savage name isn't cursed to be forever in the friend-zone.

Brandon is just the best guy ever. I sincerely hope that Al ends up with him, though I can see the happiness of a Al/Scorpius one as well.

Plot seems to be progressing nicely, with the addition of Rose conflict, and as always characterization is wonderful.

Pressing onward! (after a short snack break.) +]

Author's Response: Hello!!! I'm so happy you hit this up for the HC!!

Rose and Scorpius' new understanding will be fun to play with later on but for now it's nice that they're level.

It was a reference to Charlie/Savage!!! *cough* I can't promise anything about Savages and friend-zones.

Brandon is one of my favorite people to write about at the moment. :D I am glad that you're torn between the ships.

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!!

-Rose


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Review #13, by Red_headed_julietHero: Hero

28th June 2014:
Awh! This is so sweet, and brilliant. I would hate to be in their place, any of them, really.

You've worked a beautiful story, full of emotion and description, in so few words! As always, I love your characterization. Everyone seems so real, dialogue flows well, everything just fits! Congratulations on winning! You really deserve it! :hearts:

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm so pleased you liked this! I agree - this story is based off my own family experiences and while it was difficult to write, it's also an important story to share.

Thank you! I'm so pleased you liked the characters and the dialogue and everything. I was a little worried about the word limit but the whole scene flowed together and was such a pleasure to work on.

Thank you so much! ♥ :)


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Review #14, by Red_headed_julietUnicorn: Unicorn

28th June 2014:
Hm. This is a really original idea. I've never thought of wizards hunting unicorns before.

Your description is especially vivid in this, with the comparison of sparkling water to unicorn blood and the description of the little girl. I think it's probably one of my favorite things about this piece. +]

Something I noticed is you told us what people were saying to the main character instead of writing what they said. I think it might have added a little flavor and broken up the style of paragraph after paragraph if you had thrown the dialogue in.

I could really feel the inner turmoil he was going through, and I can only imagine how difficult it must've been. You really set up a somber mood that was prevalent throughout the whole thing.

Wow, thirty minutes? Nice! Thanks for the swap! Until next time!

Author's Response: Thankyou for your review! I just wasn't sure how to add the dialogue, and how it would fit in... but I do suppose it would add a little more flavour. I really wanted to underline the inner turmoil, that was one of the biggest points, so I'm glad that you picked up on that.

I just thought that wizards had to hunt unicorns, because they sell the horns and the tail hairs. Maybe it wouldn't be in such a way as I described, perhaps a little gentler, but I did set it in earlier times so it may have occured.

Thanks again for the swap!
-Lauren


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Review #15, by Red_headed_julietViolet Hill: the land of delusions.

27th June 2014:
'Death isn't cruel to those it takes, Scorpius. Itís cruel to those who are left behind' Favorite quote of the day.

Beautiful. Your personification of death is chilling and believable from the POV of a child who's lost their mother. It's nice to see Draco being a real father. Most the time he's portrayed as unconcerned, so it's good to see him there while his son is hurting, giving soothing words.

All in all a wonderfully vivid, emotional piece, great job! The tone and mood fit well with the first chapter too, which can be difficult when dealing with this much emotion.

Thanks for the swap! Until next time!

Author's Response: Hi Juliet, sorry for taking so long to respond! But aahaha thank you so much for this lovely review, Death has always interested me in a weird but I guess as a philosophy student it's kinda natural it has, so I thought it would be to personify it. I'm so glad it worked with the other chapter though as this was a slightly different approach but still fun to write so that means a lot to me. Thanks for the fab review! ♥

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Review #16, by Red_headed_julietIf You Asked Me Now: Who Is It?

27th June 2014:
Hello! Here for the swap.

I love this! As a mom and a daughter I love this! My mother had me really young, so we really were each other's best friend growing up. We went through boyfriends, jobs, houses and all kinds of things together. While most people say don't be your kids best friend, I think it's important to display the qualities of friendship to your children, like you've illustrated here with Ginny.

It's also so nice to see that Lily had grown to appreciate that bond with her mother. It takes a bit of selflessness to recognize the ask the wonderful things she did throughout the years, entitlement will blind you to them.

I don't have any CC, sorry. You just did too good. I think the simplicity and brevity of this really added to the tone, and I don't think it would improve by making it longer.

Good job! And go 'claws!

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Review #17, by Red_headed_julietSevenfold: no brighter light than the look in her eyes

26th June 2014:
No Louis! Don't fall for it! Gah! (And I think her lip twitched because she feels just a little bad for the forgery thing. It weighs on her serial killer guilty conscious) Gah, when will you see Louis! EMILY IS THE ONE YOU SHOULD BE TRYING TO KISS, NOT THE PSYCHO!

No. I refuse to believe it's Emily. Though I am interested in what Molly had to say to Bones, and why she thought Louis wouldn't believe her. I'm a little worried, because I'm thinking the next victim will be 'the soldier' who was Erik, the one that Ada feels bad about killing. She went to school with him, and I'm a little worried that Bones might try to kill him next. I could be off, but I worry.

Oh, nice detail with the whole vomiting slugs thing. At least he finally got his revenge. +] Dom isn't so bad when she isn't being impetuous. She's actually kinda growing on me. Steak's gotta go though. *shakes head*

I cannot wait for the metaphorical excrement hitting the imaginary fan. I shall try to be patient. +]

Author's Response: Hello again!! Hehe, but Eugenie's so pretty and he likes her! :P

Very interesting. Erik is definitely very important and who he matches up with for the new killer is a huge detail which has been hinted at, but I don't think it will really be clear until the killer is revealed.

Haha yes! I was sad Ron couldn't fit into this story more but that was a fun detail. I'm glad you like Dom - if not Steak haha, he would be so annoying as a real person for sure.

I'm putting the next chapter up very shortly so hopefully it will be up soon - I'm so excited to see what you think, and if readers will be surprised or not!!! :D Thank you so much as always, your support on this story is simply amazing!


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Review #18, by Red_headed_julietSevenfold: everything that happened, everything you saw

26th June 2014:
SHE'S FRAMING HER! Last chapter you described Eugines handwriting as messy script, and Emily's name is written the same way. She picked Louis to be her partner because she thought he sucked since he hasn't been on the case and expected him to follow her lead and only listen to what she said. It's her. I'm like 80% sure. She got mad about her dad and came back to kill him, but that would be too obvious so she's been killing people before the important one to try and deflect blame. Also the she thing. And she could get into that killed head because she had instincts for it. Realized he hated his mom because she would kill her dad. Man, I need more! I gotta know! Ravenclaws don't deal with ignorance well.

Author's Response: Hehehehe. Can I just say that this review and the first sentence especially made me so happy because I love the degree to which you've noticed little details and pieced a theory together?!

So much awesome! Well, I can't approve or disprove your theory either way of course, but the next chapter will be up very soon! :D Thanks so much for reviewing! ♥


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Review #19, by Red_headed_julietSevenfold: gone away, i watched you disappear

26th June 2014:
Hello! I didn't have time to review when I first read this so I came back. +) I strongly remember my first reaction being "what!? They can't take me of the case!" Lol. Poor Emily. And Neville. I don't know, I'm kinda starting to think something may be up with bones, if Ada really has had anything to do with these, and I think she has, she'd need an accomplice. Someone a little more able bodied. Just an idea. And not being able to talk about it? Sounds like dark magic to me...

Haha. Steak. Unicorns. Just ask of that was really funny. Again, I like the way you of set the serious and anxious parts with humour. It's a nice balance, otherwise i think all the death and stuff would start to really drag the mood and tone down.


I'm going to go ahead and read on! Hopefully after the cup there will be more +) Unless this is the end. That would make me sad though.

Author's Response: Hola!! :)

I know, I felt so bad doing this to the Longbottoms, but Neville does look a little sketchy right now so Louis didn't have much of a choice to turn him in. And yes, Ada herself is quite old and weak now so it's tricky to tell. Dark magic could very potentially be involved...

I'm so pleased you liked Steak and Dom, they are so funny to write and I'm glad people are liking them. Exactly, I think I needed the humour for my own sanity as well as Louis', even if Steak being there does add to his stress levels.

There will always be more... well, until Chapter 12 is posted. :P Thanks so much for the lovely review! :D


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Review #20, by Red_headed_julietIt's magic : It's magic

23rd June 2014:
This entire thing is chillingly sinister! I love it!

Ugh. Her family is just awful. Not taking her in, just for being a squib. I hope she finds them one day and makes them feel horrible.

The first person POV was consistent and flowed easily. I didn't even think about how there was no dialogue until you mentioned it in the AN.

Her characterization was good, I felt as though I knew her, and she grew up with the story. Yay for character development in under 2000 words!

All in all, very well done, and quite an original idea. I never would've come up with it, and I do wish her the best.

Go claws!

Author's Response: Hello, thanks for the lovely review! This was something different to write, and I'm glad it turned out well! Yeah, even if it seems like this story is centred around her revenge and her purpose, the main underlying theme is actually her love for her parents and the importance of family to her.

Ooh, yay for the flow. This was the first time I wrote in first person. I could never get it properly so I'm kind of proud for putting this up.

Thank you, and gooo 'Claws!


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Review #21, by Red_headed_julietViolet Hill: a glimpse of infinity.

23rd June 2014:
This is beautiful, really, it is. I'm falling in love more and more with second person POV, it just brings the reader even closer to the main character, and you didn't have any awkward phrases that took away from the flow. Very nicely done indeed.

Your language in this is exquisite. (I'm so glad you're in Ravenclaw!) Haha. I especially love the paragraph that starts "The thestral gives you a glimpse into infinity..."

To make such a rich story in only 500 words is really difficult, and you've done a wonderful job. I can't wait to read your other entries! Yay for morbidity and death!

Thanks for the swap! Until next time.

Author's Response: Wah, thank you so much! Second person POV is fast becoming my favourite, and I'm almost writing it all the time so I'm so glad you think it's working. Aw, thank you! I've been reading a lot of Virginia Woolf later so I'm into obscure words :P Ha, the other entries are equally morbid and death focused and up now if you wanted to read them! Thanks for the fab review :D

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Review #22, by Red_headed_julietHouse Cup Event Three: Until The Very End: Until The Very End

22nd June 2014:
Hello!

This was sweet. I love hearing about childhood friends, and the idea of telling someone a secret that big is certainly something only a child would consider. I think my favorite line was the one when he said, "cause mine was really good" lol. So cute!

You've never written Hogwarts? I couldn't tell. Good job!

I think you've done very well with the prompt, setting up an innocent childhood friendship that grew through trials and heartbreak, like the best friendships do. They're always there for you, which you showed nicely. Oh, and I'm jealous! I want to go to the Leaky Cauldron!

Thanks for swapping with me! Great minds do think alike +)

Author's Response: Hello there!
I'm so happy you liked the way I wrote Hannah and Simon as kids. I love writing really young characters because the way they see the world is so much more honest and simple than the way adults do. Plus, they still have oodles of imagination and can turn a hole in a fence into a secret mailbox :)
I'm so glad you enjoyed this story and thought I did a good job with the Hogwarts Era! It's always been a bit daunting for me, so it's a relief to hear that I didn't mess it up too much! Thank you for the swap and the sweet review!
Cassie :)


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Review #23, by Red_headed_julietTrue Romance: Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

22nd June 2014:
Hey! Here for the swap!

I'm really not sure I like Corbin, to be honest, though maybe a little overbearing is what he needs? I don't know. I just think it's hard to do better than Al.

Yay!!! I'm excited about the date! That's it. I'm changing my ship. Totally going for Al/Bran Now. He's just been too good, understanding, and truly a wonderful person throughout everything. I was going for Al/Scorpius, but he won me over.

As always your characterization is wonderful. Only thing I can really suggest as far as CC is a quick beta. There are just little things like

"Brandon was on his feet and being led by Brandon into a..."

So yeah.

Back to squeeing. I love how you've written Harry in this series. He's great, and Hermione seemed very in cannon as well. +)

It is my official guess that Rose had gone to Scorpius.

Thanks for the swap! Until next time

Author's Response: Only one person so far has liked/felt okay about Corbin. I do think Scorpius tends towards overbearing personalities (probably seeking out something that feels familiar).

Whoo! I'm glad you're behind Al/Bran now. I was really happy with how that interlude between them turned out.

Oops, thanks for catching my duplicate Brandon issue. :D I should probably use a beta for this because I'm horrid at editing.

It was fun writing Harry into this scene - he gets more screen time (or page time) in the next chapter. Phew, I worry about writing the MCs because it would suck to get them wrong.

That was a popular gues...

Thanky you so much for a fab review!

-Rose


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Review #24, by Red_headed_julietThe Very Bottom of the Cauldron: Fischer Family Fact Time

22nd June 2014:
This was great! I love quirky. While Frida might not be all that agreeable, she is certainly quirky.

The narration style is wonderful with all the digressing, refusing to claim innocence, sucking face with a pillow, all of it is just wonderful. It certainly brings a unique tone and mood to the piece. Very nice.

I also like how you've created someone that loves insults. Most main characters are goody two shoes tripping on their own feet to avoid stepping on toes. It's nice to hear someone whose vernacular closely resembles my own on a bad day. Haha. +]

The only thing I have as far as CC is comma placement. Sometimes there seem to be random commas that interrupt the flow, since I usually pause for a comma, and I think maybe getting rid of a few of them would help. (Really, that's the only bit I can see that needs improving.)

Oh! And I wanted to tell you that Mrs. Fischer reminds me of my mother. She had me very young, so we were more best-friendish than most other mom/daughter combos. I knew right away she was a single mom. Good job. +]

So yes. I shall be coming back for more of this, I think. *nod*

Thanks for the swap! Until next time!

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Review #25, by Red_headed_julietHurricane Luna: They Love in a City

21st June 2014:
Hey! Here for BvB.

Awh! I love the dynamic of Rolf and Luna's relationship, and how far it's progressed. Like with most people, she's constantly surprising him, and taking him out of his comfort zone. (I don't like surprises either. I'm a plan person. Lol!)

I loved Albus, and all the little details, like putting the pillow between them. Seems like Rolf has a future apprentice on his hands! Bahaha. Poor Lily.

Again, your characterization is perfect. I like how Luna has grown a little since her school days, and compliments Rolf's reserved personality so well.

What a nice touch, with the Monet paintings and incorporating the Eiffel Tower into the wizarding world. Very original! I'm kinda glad that Luna doesn't press or expect him to say it back. It's how she feels, so she's going to say it, even if he won't.

I always enjoy reading this story. +]

Until next time!

Author's Response: Hi!

Sorry this response has taken so long. I promised myself I would get them all done today.

I've worked really hard on this story and it gets so little love that I just squee every time you review a chapter.

I'm so RELIEVED that you like Luna's characterization. I was worried that I wasn't carrying through with it in the later chapters. The story is more about Rolf and how Luna changes him, but I think that she matures as well.

Yay! - you like the Monet paintings and Eiffel tower! I did that to incorporate the part of the quote about visiting museums and monuments.

Thanks again and I hope you get a chance to read the rest of this story!

Beth


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