Reading Reviews From Member: StarFeather
132 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StarFeatherSneak: Sneak

26th May 2015:
Hi, Ali. I dropped by from the forums.

I've been curious what you write. Then I read this story, I like your choice of the main character. Nobody tried writing about her, Marietta Edgecombe so far. And you set up the stage for her very well. This story is as sad as the story of 'King Lear' on which I'm working hard for the story challenge. You put her as a heroine of a tragedy. If I were you, I couldn't choose ending her life though. But you've done it, which turned to be an impressive work.

I think unfortunate life is caused by their heartless parents and lack of love from her family.

And readers feel pity for her, for she was despised by classmates who used to be her friends, Gryffindors like twins, from her point of view, they are so mean to her.

I learned not a few new words from your story, thank you for sharing this!

:) Kenny

Author's Response: Hi Kenny,

Thanks for all your positive comments, I wasn't too sure about this when I first posted it. Also, I was a little torn on the ending, I so wanted to give Marietta a happy ending but I just couldn't get it right and whenever I tried to it just seemed forced and a sad ending seemed to be the only thing that would fit with the backstory I had given her.

I feel like I should be writing a happier story about her just to make up for it!

I feel like the twins are also kind of justified in their actions though, because while they may have gone a little far, to them that was a huge betrayal and it must have looked planned from their point of view. Not to say that Marietta deserved that treatment, because she certainly didn't, but they most likely felt that she did and I understand why.

Darn it I'm rambling again, sorry about that. Thanks again for the positive feedback

- Ali

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Review #2, by StarFeatherThe Story of You: The Story of You

24th May 2015:
*Gold&Red Gryffies Review Battle, Team Red.

Hi, Sian. I've finally decided to leave review on your beautiful one-shot I've ever read.

Your story is just beautiful, so poetic and each word flows like a river. All sentences go together in a sequence elegantly.

 Young Albus Dumbledore lives in our imagination with your exquisite words like a piece of music. Yes, I think someone will compose a beautiful tune with your story. (Maybe I can *hide*).

Nobody has written about all excitement of young Dumbledore, the agony he had suffered, the first kiss and the sudden parting with Gellert Grindelwald, so beautifully ( oh, I can't think of other proper words, really just beautiful) except you, Sian.

Only old wisdom known
Young pure Albus now I found
So fresh, sparkling memory
We've never realized that you cast
The most beautiful enchantment


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Review #3, by StarFeatherThe Child of my Beloved: The Child of my Beloved

17th May 2015:
Hi, Molly. From tomorrow the real life will start, so I wanted to warm up the night before the hard work begins.

Molly, I enjoyed your story very much. It's really interesting.

Your sotry was told from two different perspectives but you tried writing the same sentences, which is more impressive. I really enjoyed seeing Harry from another perspective, two adults who protected him with love. How interesting to see how different feeling they had each other to see Harry's green eyes and his messy jet-black hair.

The plot is also interesting. The banner is also intriguing for us. We know the fact Severus Snape loved Lily Evans, but I had no idea Sirius loved James Potter in that way, which is also impressive.

:) Kenny

Author's Response: Hi Kenny! Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you liked this story. Snape's destiny keeps fascinating me. I didn't think much about him reading the books, but he sort of grew on me. Sirius and James (unrequited as it is) is my head canon. :)

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Review #4, by StarFeatherThe Serpent Rises: Prologue

17th May 2015:
Hi,I came from the forums. I managed to read through the Astoria Trilogy Book I.

I've avoided to leave review for I'm no good at typing proper long review. But finally I'm determined to leave some thoughts here.

I expected to read how the battle of Hogwarts would go from Slytherin perspective, but it seems the war has already ended here. However I got very curious to know how Astoria felt distressed by the war. We wonder how she stood by the side of the Order Of Phoenix (am I right?). I guess she worried how she had betrayed her father, mother, sister and her friends. The dark haired boy must be Terry. He understood her very well, so he must be feeling a kind of guilty for her.

The title of this story is also very intriguing.
I reckon you started the original story from here, 'cause J.K.Rowling didn't describe the things in detail after the Battle of Hogwarts.

Let's see how you'll develop the story.

:) Kenny aka StarFeather

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Review #5, by StarFeatherDark Birthright: The Seventh Gate

9th May 2015:
Hi, chinaglaze, I enjoyed quiet Saturday night's reading your story.

I reckon you spent much time to write the underground world adventure. When I wrote about the Gringotts, I had to spare time to describe underground. So I guess you focused on the ancient or Victorian mystic, historical and magical legacies in this chapter.

A lione and serpents gave me the impression that they imply Gryffindor and Slytherin?

Sirius in this chapter was in animagus form most of the times, his partnership with Julia seemed to deepen, which let me feel like reading a detective story. From this chapter, he discovers Muggle world, which will let him understand Julia more. I like it.


Author's Response: Hi Kenny, I'm glad you like it. I based the idea for the temple of Mithras and the statue (loosely) on real excavations. In 1954 a temple to Mithras was excavated in Walbrook, London. The image of a lion-headed figure with snakes twined around the body is one that has been associated with the Mithraic cult, so there is no intended connection with the Hogwarts houses, but I do like the repeated snake motif that recurs throughout.

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Review #6, by StarFeatherBunny Slippers: The Longbottom Family

8th May 2015:
*Red & Gold Gryffie review battle. For Red Team!

Kaitlin, I came back to your story. How can I explain what I feel now? It's incredibly terrific. I believe you'll write an exciting Auror fic next time. And I saw the title of chapter 2. 'Kingsley' sounds interesting.

You used the words 'bamboo', 'Tsunami' , which themselves are unique. Your putting words together is exquisite. Of course the scene of Alice's cooking dishes is brilliant. I got hungry to read the spot.

Your plot, that Neville had an elder brother, is also unique and very understandable. How sad he was born to die for his family. It was harsh but very dramatic that five years old Benjamin exploded his magic to protect her mother.
And readers may find the answer why Bellatrix tortured Alice and Frank insanely. Nice plot!


Author's Response: Hi Kenny!

Thanks so much for this review!

I know how much you love Auror stories, so I would suggest reading the next chapter! It focuses on Kingsley and his duties as an Auror!

I'm so happy to hear that you like the way I put words together. I try really hard to describe things in unique ways. :D

Benjamin was a very tragic character and it was honestly very hard for me to write him that way, but I felt like it fit the story. Unfortunately, we do indeed find out why Bellatrix tortured them.

Thank you again for your review!


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Review #7, by StarFeatherHouse of Cards: Two of Spades

7th May 2015:
Hi, I stopped by from review swap of the forums.

The title, Hose of Cards is intriguing.
The contrast between the dark heavy evening and the bright painting is exquisite.

I listened to Chopin's piano, Funeral march before reading this. And I found the dead person was Cygnus Black. What a coincidence. I try to write about him for story challenge. So I got more curious to read.

The mystery, who killed him is cliffhanging. Readers get eager to read more. I reckon Barty or Bellatrix killed him.

You set all characters are interesting for readers. The last sentences about Pollux and Orion were so interesting,too. I wonder Orion cared Pollux at the moment.

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Review #8, by StarFeatherLady Mondegreen: Conversations with a Portrait

6th May 2015:
*Gold and Red review Round 2 Team Red

Hi, Lizzie, this story has lots of verbal play.
You're good at playing on words. Since I experienced to hear the verbal play in my country, I understand those who are good at it, are very smart. You're quick-witted, Lizzie! I know very well. I enjoyed your rhythmical verbal play like shooting Bludgers!
Lia and Lady M are like a comic duo.

"Bumpkin Jews as Hostages" instead of Pumpkin Juice and sausages! Your playing words reminded me of my child. He likes verbal play very much, too.

HA HA HA Peas on Earth! LOL & LOL!

Okay. I do request. Next your story will be

'James Potter and Lady M.'


Author's Response: KENNY!

Awe! Thanks so much!! You're too kind!! I like to think comedy is one of my strengths, and it's good to know that others agree!

Believe it or not, "Bumpkin Jews as Hostages" actually comes from something I said as a little kid! I mixed up more than a few words when I was little...

HAHA! James Potter and Lady M. - That would definitely be a funny story! I'll have to think about it...

But you'll hear from Lady M again, don't worry.

Thanks for reviewing Kenny!

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Review #9, by StarFeatherCliffhanger: Cliffhanger

3rd May 2015:
"No! George, hang on! Fred would not be happy if you choose the death. Look at me! How many times did Voldemort try to kill me?" shouted Harry.

Hi, Fin. I tried writing from Harry's point of view. I thought the narrator was George. But I'm not sure.

Big hollow in your mind
Deep sadness, no tears on your face
Stay alive for your mother

I made haiku review for Weasleys in your astounding one-shot.


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Review #10, by StarFeatherDark Birthright: Secrets of the Servants

3rd May 2015:
Oh, you put off the time to reveal his animagi to Julia. Can we expect it at the next chapter?

They are getting more intimate, it's good for them.
They tag team and face the difficult problem together.

The rune things are hard to understand and I think of my novel, I could understand how the description is important for readers.

Hmm, Kreacher had a key to solve the mystery. It's really intriguing.

Author's Response: Hi Kenny, thanks for reading so much of this story! I'm not going to tell you when - or even if - Julia finds out that Sirius is an animagus, I'm afraid you will have to keep reading!
Thanks for the review!

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Review #11, by StarFeatherThe Duet Of Pansy And Draco: Cantata

3rd May 2015:
*Gryffindor review battle. Gold and Red Round 2[my fourth review for the battle]

Hi, Kaitlin

Everytime I visit your story, I wonder why you don't write longer novel. You can, I'm assured(Yes, you made an entry for my story challenge, too. Thank you for your entry). Your elegant description about the wedding places, each character and the movement of emotion, everything is brilliant.

I enjoyed the emotional movement of Pansy. Espcially before I read this, I experienced her pathetic tale around werewolves( of course, I understand it was one-shot, not a sequel to this). So I simply felt happy she finally grabbed happiness. But you set the story a complete reversal of the plot( in our language, 'Dondengaeshi'). I'm eager to see this plot as a drama in the theater.

The way to describe Draco is perfect. I could imagine how Draco spoke French in his drawling voice. His muttering about muggles outside the wedding place in his mind is also spectacular.

I like the whole of the story, especially the subtitle 'Cantata' added something special to this story. The magnificent humorous one-shot became more effective along with grand music.


Author's Response: Hi Kenny!

I do write longer stories! I have two Novels that I'm working on. I'm just very slow at writing them unfortunately.

I'm so glad you like my description of the wedding.

Yeah this story is a little bit happier for Pansy. At least she doesn't end up lonely, I suppose.

Thank you for teaching me another new word. "Dondengaeshi"

I'm glad you liked the way I wrote Draco. He's one of my favorite characters to write, mainly because I have the same sort of humor as him.

You have been the only person so far to notice the name of the chapter and I'm so happy you did! The story title was a duet which is supposed to be sung by two people...Draco and Pansy. A cantata is a lyrical drama set to music, so I thought that would be appropriate! Thank you so much for picking that up! I'm so happy that someone did!

Thank you for another lovely review!


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Review #12, by StarFeatherBreathe: iii. Trapped

3rd May 2015:
Gryffindor Red and Gold Reveiw Battle Round 2 [my third review in the battle]

Hi, Kayla.

I got a chance on the review battle.
I had an interest when I read you described the oppressive atmosphere of the Grimmauld Place. I'm also struggling to write about the place. Did you reread OotP book when you wrote this? I did.

Sirius's father commanding Kreacher to deal with their luggage, if you have time to edit, could you please add more description about his way to comand house-elves? I'm curious how Pureblood family members ask them to do something for them.
The scene of haircut by his mother was interesting. So if you add more detailed scene of his father's commanding his house-elves, it will make this chapter more effective.

I could understand the part when Sirius felt he was the black sheep of his family. Still personally I can't understand House of Black well. I don't mean I can't understand what you wrote, I mean from the start, I couldn't understand the family Black J.K.Rowling created. So if you keep writing this, I may be able to understand or imagine the Pure-Blood family. There exists lot of possible behind scenes in the Grimmaul Place.

The scene of writing a letter to James reminded me of Harry's studying magic under the blanket at Dursley's in the movie.

At the last scene, you let Regulas enter, which attracts readers to read next. What made him be eager to ask his brother to join the party at Malfoy Manor?


Author's Response: Hey Kenny! Thanks so much for the review!

I actually didn't reread OotP for this; the description of Grimmauld Place and of Sirius' mother is something that really stuck with me when I first read the book, so I didn't feel the need to.

I like your suggestion of adding more description to Orion's commands, and I think I'll add something when I get a change.

I see what you're saying about wanting to understand the House of Black. I think that the rest of the story will give you some insight into what they're like - or at least how Sirius perceives them.

You and Kaitlin both drew comparisons between scenes in this fic and scenes in Prisoner of Azkaban! That's so cool! You're right, it is kind of like Harry studying under his blanket. Both of them would get in trouble if they got caught.

Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #13, by StarFeatherRisk: Two

2nd May 2015:
Hi, Cassie.

I maybe know the clue, the name of "King" and the victorian letter inmply the cursed letter was from the era when the king existed.
The word "autopsy" reminded me of the same title of the song.

The episode how Molly became an Auror was interesting, 'cause readers can meet Harry and Ron through her memory.

Then another dead body was found. Readers are eager to read next!

Author's Response: Hello again!
Your letter theory is really interesting! You'll just have to keep reading to find out more...
I'm really glad you liked the flashback. I really enjoyed writing it, and showing a little glimpse of her family members. And yes, another body has been found!
Thank you for the great review!
Cassie :)

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Review #14, by StarFeatherHarry Potter and the Wizard's Portrait: The Hogwarts' Memorial

2nd May 2015:
Hi, me again. I've thought signing up the Gryffindor review battle means it would include leaving review on yours, but it seems I misunderstood. But I managed to stop by here. I simply like leaving review on your work. :)

In this chapter, your describing about Hermione, she was written as a very determined mind person, very strong. Readers feel relived well known our Hermione came back.

So Skeeter launched a counterattack.You described about her nasty trick very well.

The scene was shifted. I really like the scene that Hogwarts castle was restored. You wrote that well here, too.

I'm glad you didn't forget to put Peeves in this scene, for he didn't enter in the movie at all.

My favorite scene in this chapter :

" it was Harry who received the most thunderous applause and greatest standing ovation when he walked to the podium for his Service Award, as the message ‘Long Live Harry Potter’ exploded in dazzling Gryffindor colors of maroon and gold.

The entire Great Hall rose to its feet and cheered with one voice, applauding the Boy Who Lived as his name boomed across the ceiling above their heads. The applause lasted until Harry thought his own heart would practically burst with a mix of satisfaction, relief, and melancholy
" These description should be taken as the scene in the movie as sequel to DH movie.

And the painting was Hogwarts! I thought the picutre was the portrait of Harry's parents, James and Lily.

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Review #15, by StarFeatherRisk: One

1st May 2015:
Wow, you've written Auror story. Why don't you sign up for my Auror's Tale challenge? Please consider to make an entry.

Let's go back to your story. A new case, twenty-eight years old young female ambitious Auror, these are very fascinating for me to read. I like Kiernan. Is the name of his Irish maybe? And the boyish charm and sense of fun you described about his character, which caused me to read more.
The Victorian mystic letter dated on June 2 in 1892 sounds intriguing. Readers can't stop being curious what will happen next.


Author's Response: Hi Kenny!
I have written an Auror story! I don't think I'll be able to enter your challenge, though, because I have a pretty detailed plan for how this story is going to go so people don't figure out who the killer is before Molly does...
I'm so glad you like Molly! And Kiernan, too! His name is Irish!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Thank you for the review swap!
Cassie :)

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Review #16, by StarFeatherPitch Black Night: Chapter 1

1st May 2015:
Hi, Kaitlin.

Kayla's mentioning about her work on the forums led me here.

Your method is like watching a movie, I tell you.
At midnight wandering from Hogwarts castle to a dilapidated building, readers do adventure with your main character. I personally remembered the scene of the book 1 when Harry wandered around night time restriction area of the library of Hogwarts under his Invisibility Cloak.

The last scene is so intense, and the kiss, was very gentle. You seemed to know when to step on the accelerator and ease up on it. Does it make sense? I mean in my own language,'Kan-kyu' which means that you know when to make us tense and when to let us feel relieved.


Author's Response: Konnichiwa Kenny!

Thanks for stopping by to read this!

I'm so honoured that you think my story-telling is like a movie. I really tried hard to add a lot of description to this particular story. It did remind me a bit of Harry's adventures too!

I understand exactly what you are saying and really appreciate you saying so! It makes me so happy to hear that you think the intensity and gentleness worked with each other.

And thank you for teaching me a new word! "Kan-kyu"

Arigatou gozaimasu Kenny!


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Review #17, by StarFeatherTaming the Dragon Tamer: [one]

1st May 2015:
Hi, the Crumple-Horned Snorkack led me here, so I thought of leaving review. There is a possibility one of the staffs left review on yours and on mine.

Okay, your story made me think of a man on a wheelchair. I've read a book about a man who was born without legs, accomplished his school study, he was good at playing basketball. Then your Christopher Parker entered, I guessed he was like that. And your plot that Charlie was forced to have a break with caring his dragons, I thought it was a very interesting idea.

So you're planning a next chapter? I predict this story will be more interesting from now on.

Kenny AKA StarFeather.

Author's Response: My amazing beta carla is just going over chapter 5 for me, i can't wait to update when she's done. I have about 12 chapters planned for the story, but we'll see. Charlie writes himself, so if he wants to continue after that, there'll be more chapters.

Thanks so much for the review.

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Review #18, by StarFeatherJumble: HodgePodge

29th April 2015:
Hi, Kaitlin.

I thought it was a good idea to explore your stories more, so I dropped by here.

After reading this, I wanted more. Are you going to write a sequel to this?

I wondered what was like 'shooting straight up into the air like a cork exploding from a champagne bottle, and periodic gusts. I know you do cook, so these lines came out naturally, I guess?

I love the description, ' a particularly rainy winter everything below was like a river of green', if I write the same scene, I'll write 'rainy season' and switch season to summer.

As a Gryffindor, I think we should wirte more about Harry. So I've been wondering to set up story challenge related to him, then I finished reading this, I'm determined. If I set it up, please try, Kaitlin. I pushed 'Favorite' on this story.


Author's Response: Hi Kenny!

Thank you so much for this review!

I haven't planned to write a sequel to this. I honestly thought it would just be a short little look at what Harry might've done down the road. Maybe I'll consider another one about his first practice or something.

The metaphor about the cork exploding from a champagne bottle was just me trying to find away to explain his immediate push off from the ground. Maybe it did come out this way since I cook.

I agree that being Gryffindors, we should write more about Harry. If you set up a challenge for us to write about Harry, I would definitely enter it!

I'm so happy that you liked this story! Thank you again for reading and reviewing this!


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Review #19, by StarFeatherA Christmas in Azkaban: A Flickering Flame

28th April 2015:
I was struck with awe by the wave of enritched words you created. Christmas Eve patrol job in Azkaban could be likely for rookies, I like the plot.

Then from the reminiscence of Potter's Christmas, I focused on reading at one go. Your words have power to let us think of miserable people who spend time with disapointment.

But they need hope. I remembered the time when I took part in a live to cheer up the refugees from the horrible earthquake.

The last sentences from the small window, a single speck of light, are really beautiful.


Author's Response: Thank you for the review, and sorry it took so long to respond. :D

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Review #20, by StarFeatherMap Makers: Map Makers

28th April 2015:
The title was so fascinating. James was a explorer, I love it. In the original books we only know him as a reckless and an arrogant student from Snape's point of view. 
Ha ha ha, Remus had the best hearing ability, it could be likely! And James took the lead to make the map, I like that, too. Even Peter entered and told his opinion, it's rather sad for he would betray his friends in the future. Sirius looked eager to do this, but he didn't take part in so often like Remus did,maybe he had lots of things to do, I guess.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the Marauders in this. I thought it would be a bit silly to make Remus have the best hearing, sort of a is-it-or-is-it-not because he's a werewolf thing. In my mind Sirius and Peter usually did more of the hunting together, because I wanted to show a pairing causing trouble other than James & Sirius.

Thanks for the exchange and the sweet review! =)

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Review #21, by StarFeatherCalculus: Awakenings

28th April 2015:
Hallo, Kevin

Trace, evidence, key to the hole
See our Harry, Ron and Neville
Treasure was finally found

I made haiku review as thank you gift from Accio Attackers.

I've been searching Auror story, you know. Then I found yours, now I'm so excited. I should've stopped by here earlier. Your magical tracing techniques is interesting. I tried writing the similar attempt in my second novel, too. I'm looking forward to reading next.


Author's Response: Thanks a million for this review Kenny! I have needed some cheering up this week and this review helped in a big way!

I'm glad you like the story so far and I hope you continue to if you keep reading. It's one of my earliest works on here and my first COMPLETED non-one-shot so I'm interested to see what you think!

Thanks again!

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Review #22, by StarFeatherHarry Potter and the Wizard's Portrait: Goblin Negotiations

27th April 2015:
Hi, I came back here, again.

Many kudos on your story setting up Goblin Negotiations after the bank’s damages by golden trio. You wrote about the hushed, tensed atmosphere inside Gringotts very well.Many authors have tried this, but a few can do it well.

I enjoyed the lines of a dining area.The description of goblin delicacies was super!


Author's Response: Hi, thanks again for reading and leaving a comment. I've been a little busy in real life for the last few weeks, so I've been absent here for a while. I was pleased to see your review when I dropped back in.

This chapter starts the main plot of the story, so I tried to make the atmosphere in the bank feel right, and also set up a serious conflict between the characters that would affect Harry, the Ministry, and the Order. It was fun to use a little imagination about what the private areas of the bank might be like, and what goblins might eat. The description of the food is definitely one of my own favorite parts of the chapter, so I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks again for reading more of this.

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Review #23, by StarFeatherSirius Black: Escape from Azkaban: Chapter One: A Dog's Day of Freedom

26th April 2015:
Hi, I dropped by from the forums.

At first, please let me do request to write about Auror story, for the most impressive lines here are ' There was sure to be numerous Auror search parties out by now. He should know, working with James as an Auror himself once.' I expect you can write a good Auror story.

Okay, let's go back to your story. I was very impressed by your writing method. You described in detail about the situation of Sirius on the run.
Your story let me remember the film, 'Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ'. You know Ben-Hur was falsely accused of assassination, enslaved by the Romans. Your eloquent narative way reminded me of the revenge plot of the film. I'm no good at description, so your style is my ideal.


Author's Response: Thank you, I just went and edited it. Thanks for the review, as soon as it's approved the updated chapter should show up. :)

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Review #24, by StarFeatherDark Birthright: The White Goddess

25th April 2015:
Hi, I really enjoyed this chapter. I'd like to eat chocolate cake and quiche, which ingredients are inside, I wonder.

The ambiguity made the scene more attractive. Sirius returned to his original nature when he transformed into a Padfoot, his animagus form.
I wonder he went sometimes back to human nature in the bed with her. I imagined he was real when she had a dream about him. How lovely they are. They seek for each other. Dumbledore knows that they love each other. But you set the long and winding road to be continued till they realize they need each other, don't you?


Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, Kenny. Julia and Sirius need each other and when they have solved the mystery, perhaps they will find each other too!

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Review #25, by StarFeatherEvasive Normality : Chapter 2

24th April 2015:
Hi, Fin.

I read through this story. Are you going to plan for the next chapter? (As you may find out I've been seeking for good Auror story of post-Hogwarts. Please let me suggest that you have possibility to start writing about it.) Because I was very impressed by your spectacular way of describing each character, especially mind games. You seemed to be good at writing about the movement of emotion.
Readers feel angst along each character.
Dark magic brings not only tragedy but also mistrust, but I'm relieved that you set the plot in positive thinking.


Author's Response: Hi Kenny,

I have the next few chapters actually planned out in a notebook, which coincidently I found the other day. :P So I will have a go at writing the next few chapters in the near future.

Thank you for the kind words!


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