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Reading Reviews From Member: StarFeather
  
600 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StarFeatherLet Perpetual Light: Symbols and Stories

13th May 2017:
Hi, Nicole. I finally made it here!

Like the previous chapter, the story begins with a letter. I compared the age, this time, the age is 1946, so 47 years passed from the time when Theophilus's letter. I was thrilled again when I reread the previous chapter, the mystery about Godric's Hollow including the Deathly Hallows had just begun from chapter 3. There existed a young wizard's hope, Gellert's ambition, full of energy of youth.

The letter of chapter four, inspite of the fact he had the wand and seemed to give it to Albus Dumbledore, the last words,"It was not me who killed her" are so intriguing. So this letter indicates Albus did a dreadful duel with Gellert and he won.

Not only the impressive start with the letter, you showered me with your endless rich words which I have to take notes (where did I put the notebook I took notes from chapter 1 of this story...my bad...I seemed to have lost it...so many activities happened related with the forums!)
One of marvelous expressions I spotted is "taking a large bite, his teeth making a ticking sound against the wrinkled stone at the centre." I really could imagine the sound, Nicole!
I could also learn a new expression about the duelling scene, one of impressive ones is "nicking through the air like a razor", which I've not read anywhere. That timing you let Albus say "A Sherbet Lemon"! You are a genius, Nicole!

In the middle of chapter, I enjoyed a new version of the tales of Beedle the Bard. It's quite interesting, Death are the Three Witches.

In the latter half, I could take in the process how Albus was fascinated with Gellert naturally. And Ariana's insight about him made me nervous. She could predict ominous fate for Dumbledore brothers and her?

Kenny

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Review #2, by StarFeatherThe Writing on the Wall.: Easter.

29th April 2017:
Hi, Margaret, it’s my great pleasure to be back to you story at CTF Round 5 attack review.
I know I started reading in the middle, but forgive me it’s the forums activity before we nominate for FROGS.

The title, Easter caught my eyes, we have no Easter celebration in my country so I’m eager to know how you will describe the celebration.
I like the first paragraphs. I tried writing about Rose and Albus and I like your style where Albus got confused with all tests and worried about his coming next years
and Rose gave him information. You mentioned Ravenclaw, so I guess Rose and Albus are Ravencalw.

I like the conversations between Albus and Derek. It’s a nice idea Potters set a box office number for Muggles preparing for Dark Wizards targeting them.
I’m thrilled to find the spot you mentioned Harry in charge of Auror office. I also like the chat between James and Harry about Auror jobs. I’m thinking it’s a good plot to
set policeman’s work in the story. I’ve read the similar one written by cambangst, of course it’s a very different situation, but I think it very good as well as yours. I wonder
if you have stopped by some chapters of Dan’s COB. Just I wanted to say I remembered the scene where Ron got confused with Muggle Police system reading yours.

I’m Hinny shipper, so I’m so pleased with this spot : “You must call me Ginny and my husband is Harry.”

You captured Albus’s mind movement while he was waiting till their parents would finish their conversations very well.
I really like you let Harry speak about his jobs to his family. And I like Ginny reproving two sons who were eager to speak a lot about their lives at Hogwarts.

Oh I want to try “large Honeydukes eggs” ! I also want to try eating “a chocolate bunny, that twitched their noses and bounced in their hands as if trying to escape”
And “a chocolate egg, which morphed suddenly into a chocolate dragon and then back again.”! I feel happy for Albus comparing with his father, Harry’s poor child memory with
Dursleys.

You showed me how to describe Weasleys gathering like family Quidditch games. There are plenty of cheerful dialogues, it’s fun to read them.

I was very impressed by the last scene with Teddy and I love “a new gramophone record of Teddy’s favourite skeleton band”!

Author's Response: That's interesting that ye don't celebrate Easter. Here, it is the second biggest holiday after Christmas. We have a few differences though, like the Easter Bunny isn't really a thing here. It seems to be coming in over the past couple of years, probably from British and American TV shows, but when I was a child, Easter eggs just came from your parents.

The Honeydukes eggs were sort of my protest at the fact that Easter eggs no longer have sweets in the centre of them. You now get a couple of bars in the box with the egg whereas when I was a child, there would be little packs of sweets or small squares of chocolate inside in the egg when you broke it. It's not at all the same to just get the bars or bags of sweets beside the egg.

No, I don't think I've read Dan's chapter, but I guess the comparison of Muggle and wizarding policing methods is a fairly likely thing to come up when the Head Auror grew up in the Muggle world.

Glad you liked the scene with Teddy.

Thanks for the review.


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Review #3, by StarFeatherWhen The War Hits Home.: Chapter 2

28th April 2017:
Hi, Ineke! CTF attack review round4

I like your narrative tone. You showed me how to begin with describing back to Hogwarts.
Tessie Fincher, the sixth year female Ravenclaw Prefect jumped in my eyes. I wondered how to pronounce and did it. It sounds beautiful. Sorry I skipped first chapter, I couldn’t guess this dialogue“Haden didn’t lose his temper,” did something bad happen before? Hmm Remus and Lily sounds supportive for Tessie. They are always like that. I like their conversation caring Tessie. Hmm this spot “I wonder why she wasn’t a Gryffindor” reminded me of struggle to get more lions on the forums. I agree with your thought that not a few Ravenclaws has Gryyffindor characteristics, like Heremione.

“a strand of wet, red hair out of her face.” I’ve never encountered the description of Lily’s hair except “red” I imagined how her hair is “wet”, interesting. Was it hot in the train?

I was impressed by your expressions about each character, writing about their hair, gestures and glasses, which I sometimes forget adding detailed descriptions.

Oh “details about this boyfriend” was interrupted by Remus. I’m frustrated, too. :D

I also shook my head at this spot : Lily had provided concerning a kissing Vernon and Petunia :D

I love the description of nature! I spotted this : looking out of the window for a moment, where it was obvious that the rain was falling so hard you could barely see your surroundings.
So the weather was full of humidity, right? I got the situation inside the train very well.

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Review #4, by StarFeatherSweet Love of Mine: Prologue

28th April 2017:
Hi, me again at CTF round 3 attack review!

Wa… this time is Roxanne Weasley! I’m eager to read how you set her characterization here. As I’ve read your excellent job at the previous reading, I have much expectation!

Oh, her job is babysitter! I remembered my fellow lion, you can guess her easily? I imagined if your Roxsanne was like my friend, you know? Oh, you prepared the task from Ginny Potter! I got so excited with the information. I expected Roxanne would babysit Potters!

Wa… I got hungry again. I’m jealous of George : George greeted her, with his mouth full of breakfast toast. I like the spot. :D

“Ginny replied, accompanied by a loud rumble from her stomach” I feel for Ginny.
“Never take flight without eating a bite!” Poor Ginny, she’s so busy caring her children.
Did Roxanne feel for her aunt? Or did she hate caring her nephews?

Ha ha ha Black Cat flu! An interesting disease name! Oh wait, why would they going away for a week and a half with Hermione and Ron and their kids? I’m confused. Were they going on a mission , Ginny would play Quidditch? Ah! The question was answered,
“it’s not like Harry and I could be much help anyway, ‘cause neither of us has had the BCF…”

How Roxanne hated babysitting, it was the only her who could help Potters! It sounds a very interesting start. I had many thoughts. Could Roxanne get over with babysitting kids alone? How long would it take until Potter kids got recovery? I remembered Anne of Greengables who struggled with caring her best friend’s sister. Would Roxanne do a good job on that like Anne?

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Review #5, by StarFeatherJust Breathe: Dominique's Third Diary Entry

28th April 2017:
Hi, me again. CTF attack review round 3!
Wow, my ability in French is so limited and the first explanations about French= English are like a test for me! I tried pronouncing each word like I did the practice at Duolingo. :D

Hmm. I like the first words “Dear Diary” which reminded me of Ginny who consulted with the Voldemort’s Horcrux diary. Oh, Dominique got a job! I can understand that is one of the most things people want to write in their diaries.

I’m impressed with your expressions like “joyeux” and “Breathe out”, just they are the opposite, right?

I like the idea “hire someone as an apprentice if you don’t want them to take over your business one day,” I have a kind of adoration about the kind of job, one let the young one to take over his job or business as a professional, from generation to generation, these are wonderful things! I like the way of your writing.

What’s great thing is that Dominique didn’t forget the feeling when how people were happy to celebrate he got the job, even joking. Great job .

It’s an interesting characterization about Dominique you wrote. “ I don’t want to be un adulte! I want to be a child and hide under the covers with my big sister again!”

Oh, you mentioned this : I knew this stupid diary thing was a bad idea. I should listen to Aunt Ginny more.
I’m afraid if this diary is the same magical thing like the one Ginny had experienced? I hope not. Yeah I can guess it’s just Dominique’s worry about the new job.

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Review #6, by StarFeatherGrey Fire: Party Preparations

28th April 2017:
Hi, Me again at CTF round 3 attack review!

Sorry I shoul’ve stopped by chapter 1 first, but I’m so hungry and the summary of chapter 2 attracted my eyes (actually, lunch time now!) . “Ginny prepares for the party at Malfoy Manor” does it mean she prepares dinner or something? Or may be fashion… the girl things… hmmm..

Wa…Charity party for poor, parentless children hosted by Astoria Malfoy. How elegant and a nice plot! I remembered British Royal family. You mentioned about Holyhead Harpies, too. Interesting development. Agh, my guess was right. She wasn’t preparing dinner, “she had to solve before the next day what to wear, what to give and who to go with.” The “ who to go with” part, reminded me of Harry Potter. Oh..no, no, no no! This:
“she’d moved after her breakup with Harry” you may know, I’m Hinny shipper (sad).

Ah, yeah I know the feeling, “her place because it was hers. She’d never lived alone before.” I remember we bought a house to live at first time.

Oh… I love these expressions very much : her home made her want to scream with frustration. She went to her bedroom, stared into her wardrobe, got out into the living room and opened all her drawers, went out into the kitchen and stared into the weird pantry called a ‘fridge’, then back into her bedroom and opened her wardrobe again. Not that she had any hope that she would suddenly find either fitting dress robes or good gifts for children in it. Might as well hope that a suitable man to bring as a date would turn out to be hiding in there. (respect! I really like these. You showed her emotion, frustrations very much!)

And you described Ginny’s inner struggles with choosing clothes for Malfoys very well. I’m really impressed.

Ha ha ha you are right! “She’d hated her Hogwarts uniform. “Too hot in the summer,”

And I like this, too. : the rumour that the lead singer of the Weird Sisters was dating an illusive witch twice his age. ( I remembered one of my favorite comedians did the similar thing. :D)

Wow, I’m happy to see you let her choose “Red and gold” as one of Gryffindors! With Pride!

I like you set Ginny at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes to buy fun toys for the poor children, too

Hmm, she chose to go alone to Malfoys? She didn’t choose to get back to Harry?

Oh…so sad but it’s a very intriguing end!

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Review #7, by StarFeatherAn Innocent Question: Life is good

27th April 2017:
CTF attack review round 3!

Wow wow, Molly /Andromeda pairing? It’s totally new for me! I’m so excited with this story from the start between my works!

The girl asked Dromeda and Molly an innocuous question. You described her eyes at the beginning, it worked well! I love this : The girl looks so painfully earnest, with large brown eyes and a rainbow flag messily painted on her cheek.

I remembered some boys asked the same questions to my colleagues with their mischievous eyes and grins. :D

I thought she asked the question at their younger days, like Hogwarts days, but it was not. They were over one hundered!

It gives us a kind of melancholy feeling they observe the young birds, remembering their younger days. You chose a very profound theme, the gap in their ages, the young couple and Molly & Dromeda. I could even hear the giggles and whispers of the young girls looking at Molly and Dromeda. You cut the nice shot out of their episodes very naturally.

These are my favorite, impressive spot : they have so many surprises still before them, good and bad. She would know. But she doesn’t want to think of sad things
^ that is short but you expressed how she thought of their lives so far very well. Everyone has sent a bad time and a good time. Dromeda and Molly wished their happiness, I felt your kindness from the spot.

The last paragraphs are calm and full of affection, which give us warmhearted feeling.

I have one question, Is "Happy Pride!" well known expression in the conversation? I think it's the first time to hear that.

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Review #8, by StarFeatherLying Josephine: Brave Face, Kid

16th April 2017:
Jailbreak for Sian

I forgot to tell you, Tanya, the previous CI and this CI are so fantastic, which suit your fabulous story so well! And this chapter is so heartrending. They were going to close the shop!
The dark time was coming to twins’ joke shop. You cut the very right dramatic scene, Tanya. I spotted this:
he begins again, voice softer and gentler than it's been all day. I brace myself for impact.
I was very impressed by the sentence. ^
“our big ol' family of blood-traitorous gingers... ...putting you all in danger, having you work here so openly... ...have to board the place up, make it look like we've shut down for good... ...want to continue undercover... ...anyone willing to help out” So severe facts!

Oh, Tanya, I am so lucky to be back to this story, ‘cause I’m struggling with one story challenge where I have to write the mind movement between one female character and one male character.
I spotted this: A dance around each other. He steps right, so I step left. I step forward, so he steps back. We move away together, skirting around each other in perfect unison; a poorly choreographed duet of solos. And in retrospect, it shouldn't feel so strange, so foreign.” I love these expressions very much. How could you think of this?

Wow, I was so amazed by the next movement including “"Fred always sent them?" These expressed everything around George and Josephine. They lost Fred and they were forced to notice how big his existence had been and once again lamented for him… I understand George couldn’t stop repeating to get fury and be sad. And then I’m relieved George said “Sorry” to her.

I like your story line, Josephine took a role to comfort George who missed his brother Fred. You really did a great job to analyze George’s mind from Josephine's POV.

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Review #9, by StarFeatherLying Josephine: Eye of the Storm

16th April 2017:
Jailbreak for Abbie!

Hi, Tanya. It’s great to be back to your Josephine! I missed her and Fred. Oh, it’s fresh since I stopped by in the previous review posting, the Ministry where John Lupin worked for Fenrir Greyback and then went back to Weasley’s joke shop ! I was amazed by your writing talent. You description about inside the shop is great! I wish I could write like you.

And Josephine’s insight about Fred Weasley is well written. We could sense how Fred existed there (sadly, yeah, we know it’s the past memory told by Josephine).
Yeah, yeah yeah, your Josephine is so shy and cute so I can understand how Fred wanted to make fun of her and now she thought of him as a friend! Great!
Once again your description about Fred is super! I spotted this: rocking back onto his heels and looking a tiny bit anxious. "Well, er, thing is..." he begins, now rocking up onto his toes.
It’s really Fred Weasley!

Wa…is it tongue tweisters? “I'm seeing someone. Sometimes. I'm sometimes seeing someone. Yeah, that's about right, I reckon. Sometimes seeing someone. Been sometimes seeing someone. Someone crazy." I tried reading aloud. ;)

Yeah, you captured Angelina’s character so well, I agree with Fred, “Bloody sadist” I like your description from Fred’s POV. Ha ha ha “My jaw is on the floor.” A nice expression!

This is also so much Fred! : he practically shouts, arms flailing about theatrically. "You women are impossible!"

So they are good friends. Talkative Fred told shy Josephine how much he loved Angelina… I’m very impressed.

Oh, the latter half of the story was June 10, 1998… Verity and Josephine talked about broken George? So sad.
“The words he doesn't say hang heavily between us.

Fred's job. I know.” Really sad after we read the bright conversation of the first half of this chapter…

“We work together wordlessly. It is absolutely deafening. Even in silence he is impossible to ignore.” So heavy to keep reading through…
“the Fart-Attack, Deja-Poo, Poo-tion, Poo d'Etat, U-No-Poo, Faecal Treacle, the Bowel Towel... the Bowel Trowel...” Those must be fun if Fred was alive…

Oh, Tanya! You are so fantastic, I spotted this: his voice and hollow laugh against his lips, "not as much as I miss my left ear." It’s so George!

The last episode was your original, Tanya? I enjoyed the story that Josephine followed George to protect him after she was told from Fred and she saved him!
What a cool idea! It’s sad George thought that he should be dead instead of Fred thought…

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Review #10, by StarFeatherScars: Introduction: It Only Takes A Moment

16th April 2017:
Jailbreak for Sian!

Hi, Tanya! It’s been a while since I stopped by your wonderful Josephine with Fred Weasley. I was very impressed by your work again. As the image of Josephine is so strong, this is so unexpected ‘coz you cut the scene the man who works at the Ministry. Moreover you treated Fenrir Greyback! How could you thought of the scene with Lupin’s father? I’ve tried to mention the tragedy in my fanfiction once so I got thrilled to find you tried writing how Fenrir had a grudge against John Lupin. The process was carefully written. The descriptions about his mind movement was well written, for example he repeated barbarous behavior while John had tried trusting him. I’ve never encountered such a story where John’s attitude towards Fenrir’s case was written in detail.
The plot is good and the flow of the story is super, the readers would be engrossed without noticing into your story. So much suspense because we know what would happen to John’s son, Remus next. The latter half has a lot of thrilling moments, especially, what John couldn’t stop showing off his pride as a father for his son, Remus. I prayed “Don’t show your affection towards your son, John, it’s no good.” in my mind. The last scene is so unforgettable: Greyback had nearly made it out the door when John called out to him a final time, "I'm sorry again, Fenrir."

Greyback hesitated for only a brief moment at the words, gave the same small nod as before, and disappeared behind the closing door.

We know Greyback would attack Remus, but you added more human-like emotion to Greyback, which attracts us the most.

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Review #11, by StarFeatherThe Orchard: Clock Tower

14th April 2017:
CTF Attack review!

“Lily could be seen floating around the dungeons, her momentary anger at Snape had seemed to evaporate overnight” Ah, the story began from there!

I spotted this. I don’ know why, but I like this. : A young Slytherin boy was practicing some wand movements, though the branches he was trying to levitate kept humming instead of lifting off the ground. Maybe, after those first dark descriptions, I felt relieved to catch the small peaceful moment.

Every time I catch “Mafalda”, I remember she survived and worked at the Ministry in the HP book 7. You did a good job on setting her as a Prefect in her Hogwarts days.

I really love your descriptions about the surroundings with nature. I spotted this: The wind blew stronger for a moment and then, almost as quickly as it started, it died down again. There were a few more clouds rolling in by now, but the sun was still quite bright, refusing to be pushed away by the oncoming storm. It wanted to fight the dying of the day as well.

I was impressed by the way how you described Regulus Black. “Even though he was a year younger he still towered over Mary’s frame.” I could feel her fear so closely.

These are very impressive. : Regulus looked startled and a sharp calculated look entered his eyes before his face clouded over again in its usual bored expression.
“The real question is, do you?” So intriguing!
Though those “He gave a short, clipped laugh and the shadows in his eyes deepened. He took a step even closer and Mary could feel his breath brush against her skin. He raised her chin with one of his knobbly fingers so she was forced to stare him straight in the eye. “The real question is, do you?” He smiled a crooked grin before walking passed her, his arm brushing hers lightly as he went over to Wilkes and the other Slytherin.” re so scary,
I hope Regulus would remember what Mary explained to him. Or I guess her words influenced him and he would understand
what she meant later. Right?

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Review #12, by StarFeatherThe Orchard: Lingering Scent

14th April 2017:
CTF jailbreak for Kayla!

Hi, I went by the previous chapters (sorry it’s a game review, I skipped some) and arrived here to save my fellow Gryffindor.
I caught the name, Muciber, Mapholda and Mary in the previous chapters. I noticed Mary entered so often.So Mary is your main character.
The Marauder era. I visualized that dark time in my mind to set for reading this chapter. She was going to be killed soon, right?

The story begins with the converstaions. It’s been a while since I read the story starting with the dialogues. So I felt this chapter fresh.
Oh, she had pointy shoulders. I visualized Mary in my mind. “Her sheets were wrapped tightly around her legs like a cage”
“Mary pulled the blankets tighter around her and huddled against the headboard. “ hahaha, it’s just like me this morning.

Wow, I like this: “it was a calm night and she could even see a few stars peeking from breaks in the clouds. It must have still
been quite early as there was no early morning glimmer; the sky still a black hole.” These are very beautiful descriptions, I love them.

Oh, you invented the word, “mumblyelling” ? I feel like using it for my fanfiction, I’m struggling with writing about Harry’s nightmare. Can I use it?
A nice word! “When someone is quietly yelling something, but some words you can’t quite make out, like in a mumble,” I like it.

“this was a normal moment for them to congregate on her bed in the middle of the night.” Poor Mary, I feel for her.

I’m afraid that Mary had a nightmare, which might predict her fate. Oh, poor, Mary. I spotted this: “Mary lay awake for the rest of the night,
blankets drawn up to her chin as she stared blankly at the ceiling above.” It’s well written about her situation. And you did a good job on
describing the surroundings of Hogwarts from Mary’s mind movement, too.

Poor, Mary again, “feeling so cold, she reckoned she could be eaten up by the mist the way her body felt not her own.” I didn’t want to be like her,
lack of sleep is so hard to go through the whole day.

The scene where James and Sirius entered is short, but you captured their characterization very well. I spotted these:
“Honestly though, where else is safer? We have Dumbledore,” James retorted. Sirius rolled his eyes and leaned back in his armchair.

“Yeah, because one old man is going to save the world. Let’s be honest here,” Sirius replied sarcastically.

I love the descriptions about Hogwarts Great Hall, the owl letters and the Hogsmeade trip.

Oh, finally I caught Mulciber (“u” is a typo?) and Avery. So scary for Mary. I muttered to her, “Run, Mary Run away from them” in my mind.
After that I read through the excellent writings about Mary’s mind movement and the descriptions about her predicament at one go till Moaning Myrtle entered.
“but at least you’re not…you’re not dead” oh, Myrtle’s word indicates Mary will join her…

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Review #13, by StarFeatherCount: When You're Late and I'm Alone

14th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak for Abbie!

Oh, it’s been a while since I read horror the last time. From the beginning, the closed space let us feel suffocated.
At least it’s comforting with cats. Oh, so she had panic attack. I don’t know what it really is but I can imagine her anxiety.

The story was told from the first person’s POV. I guess “You” is equal to “I”. Then the person talked with the other herself.
I wondered who she was. Oh, wait, I was wrong. There seemed to be two persons. James and Gee? Who is Gee?
Did James have panic attack as well? And they lived together? Are they just friends? I had many questions.

“I was in school to be a Healer and was nearly done with my training, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything except the door.

I could only concentrate on how much I loved you.”

Hmm, the main character’s dream is to become a Healer. It must have been hard to work under the situation she had panic attack.
And she loved someone? James?

I spotted this: But I couldn’t help it, because I loved you. I loved you and your job scared me more than anything in the world.

She loved him so much and she was scared because of his job? Was James an Auror like his father? So intriguing. (I’m very obsessed with Auror’s Tale).
The last imaginations of her, James came home finally after she had waited for the moment, is so heartrending. I know how hard to wait for someone with anxiety.

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Review #14, by StarFeatherTo Glory: Tom Riddle

14th April 2017:
Jailbreak for Sian at CTF Round 2 !

I’ve read some you wrote before,and it’s also super, Bianca!
The story began with the rainy weather, which suits him so well. Your writing style was focused on Tom’s inner thought, his mind movement, his lack of affection from the others or from his own soul.
Poor boy. He tried to be proud of himself under such a desperate miserable situation, lack of blood relative affection.
If only his relative loved Tom, he couldn’t be such a horrible wizard.

You captured Tom’s way of thinking so well, Bianaca! Most of the time, you wrote his mumbles in his mind longer, sometimes short, which
is very effective. I spotted these descriptions about Tom, :

“Morfin carried a great honour and privilege in his veins, yet he was dirty and barbaric.

Unworthy.”

“The little skull in his hand had once possessed an energy of its own; should something that was once alive be so fragile?

How disappointing.”

It’s so scary to imagine Tom played the little skull in his hand. “Every living thing looked like this underneath its life. Even humans”
It showed that he devalued the precious lives. It makes us shudder.

“But not him. He shuddered at the thought, his hand closing over the bone. No one would ever see him like this, because he would never die.”
It’s great to see Tom was afraid of his mortality. It reminds us of his desire for immorality. And we understand your story will be continued
to his obsession with Horcruxes.

Author's Response: Kenny your reviews are always so wonderful and I love hearing from you. Thank you so much!

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Review #15, by StarFeatherThe Obliviator: Deer Dinner

14th April 2017:
Jailbreak for Abbie at CTF Round 2!

Grimmauld Place 13? So Mrs. Hamilton, no, Daniel lived next to Grimmauld Place 12 where Harry Potter lived? Was he going to marry
with someone and had the stag party? Were they Harry and Ron with the other old mates? It’s an interesting piece of work written from Muggle old lady’s POV. It sounds funny but these conversations are full of author’s affection to each character. The way how Mrs. Hamilton urged the Obliviator to have biscuits and tea is heartwarming. I could visualize the ordinary Muggle grandmother who lived in London in mind.
From the canary and bright orange hair, I imagined there were Weasley clans like George and Ron. I guess George let the canary fly?

The scene was really well written, ‘coz I could imagine how Mrs. Hamilton witnessed the magical car and the wizards with the canary and she was outside to hang up the laundry
and I visualized her garden in my mind. It must have some herbs and trees with bushes, which may be different from the other readers’ imagination.
The time went by Mrs. Hamilton and the Obliviator calmly and slowly, and I like the pace of your tale.

Your Obliviator is also a kind person. She (I thought it was a wizard first, but I got the Obliviator was a woman from your description later,)
did not force the poor Muggle old lady to talk rapidly or didn't let her forget everything she witnessed in haste. You embodied the task done
by the Obliviator untold by J.K.Rowling very well. Hahaha, a great start and an end with “here for the cable” and “the cable is working again”.

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Review #16, by StarFeatherLiar: Children

14th April 2017:
Hi! I came as a jailbreaker for Abbie at CTF Round 2

This story began with Peter’s kid days. I’ve never encountered such a story. There are lots of mother’s love
and I smiled at Peter’s play a flying phoenix. Ouch, Peter, you got an injury. Everyone does have some injuries
in one’s kid days.

Reading him cry hard, I sensed his timidity. I know kids cry when they got an injury, but I sensed that you put the
episode intentionally to connect his future situation, is that right?

Oh, was Peter’s mother from House of Yaxley? I wondered the name influenced Peter’s future choice.
And you set Remus there. Hmm, an interesting plot. They had already known each other before going to Hogwarts.
It’s a heartwarming scene that they built a sand Hogwarts together.

Another heartwarming scene. Remus and his father
would make a swing using an apple tree. I remembered my younger days. I used to climb a tree with my friends.

Oh, no. Remus didn’t feel good. Does that mean he had already been bitten by a werewolf? Was that before full moon or after that?
Oh, I was sure. He had to be in there alone. Then the full moon was coming. Oh, my guess was right. So sad for his parents,
especially for his mother who spent longer time with him than his father. I’ve never read Lycanthropy themed story from his
mother’s POV. It’s brilliant!

You gave a chance to Peter for his bravery. I was very amazed by the episode which made him Gryffindor. So sad most of
Lupin’s friend bullied him after he confessed them what he was. I guess Peter was the first person who knew Lupin and understood him in your story. And I love your descriptions about Peter's tiny reaction in detail here and there.Your writing is full of affection towards each character. It’s a great start with the story!

Author's Response: Hey, Kenny! Welcome! :D

Yes, I know... Peter isn't a common character to focus on, but I really love exploring him, and I love writing children! Glad you liked the opening scene!

That's exactly what I was going for. Peter is such a shy and insecure character and his reaction to his injury served to show exactly those traits.

There might be a connection between him being related to the Yaxleys and his future choices, but it will all be dealt with in due time.

Glad you liked Remus and Peter's early friendship and the things they did together! :D

Yes, he's already been bitten, and this is just before his first transformation... :( And poor Silvia, too... it must be so painful for a mother, knowing your son will have to go through all that and being unable to do anything to help him... :( Glad you liked this perspective! :D

Peter does care a lot about Remus and yes, he did show a little bit of Gryffindor bravery in that moment. It's so horrible that Remus would be bullied like that... children can be cruel... but he does have a good friend in Peter at least!

Thank you so much for the sweet review!

Much love,
Chiara


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Review #17, by StarFeatherOur Brand of Normal : Chapter One

14th April 2017:
Hi! I came from the forums, CTF review battle round 2 jailbreak for Kayla!

I was very impressed by your first paragraphs. They are so philosophical and they remind us of our world’s chaos. So many horrible things are happening in this world.

I like the thoughts written in the second paragraphs as well. They are written about how we feel at the beginning of a new school year or a new company or the other work place. It fits with the magical world like for people who work for the publisher, like Daily Prophet.

Oh, wait, I might misread these. Is it the end of the year? I spotted the name, Al and wondered if he was Albus Potter. Then I went back to your summary and checked it. Was Albus going out with Charlotte? What history did they share before? The mood of those conversations sounds bitter. I feel for the girl, Charlotte.

Reading your descriptions how to finish up the articles or something like that, I imagined Charlotte had worked hard to publish her articles for her school. Your detailed explanations about magical editing or something let the reader visualize how she was engaged in her work. I wish I had the experiences like her. Alas, I don’t have the experience in the field, though I have written a small school newspaper for the class members. Charlotte must have had her pride with it. But she seemed to understand there were more complicated things between the boy and the girl than doing publishing works.

I’m eager to know why Harry Potter’s second son was so cold to her. What annoyed him? What did he want to end?

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Review #18, by StarFeatherThe letter: Who is D.Malfoy?

14th April 2017:
CTF Round2 Attack Review from the forums!

Hi! I came to see what story you prepared. Ron’s and Hermione’s face are so serious, I got an interest to read this story.

The first scene is so intriguing. The secret letter found by Hermione’s and Ron’s daughter, which seemed that they hadn't had a word about Draco Malfoy. All descriptions about Rose’s parents, they seem to be the same as they were at Hogwarts. But Draco Malfoy had apologized Hermione for laughing about Ron’s disaster at their second year? It’s a unique idea that you set Draco had regretted what he did to Hermione and Ron at his second year and even he had crush on her. I went back to the explanation under the banner, the paring is Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny, and checked to see that there was no mentioning about Draco/Hermione ship. Hmm, it is really intriguing. Does Draco still love her in your fan fic world? Such a poignant plot, if he still loves her or he had died already? ‘cause Hermione was crying over, maybe not, Ron got angry remembering his old nemesis.

I got so excited that you wrote Ron worked with Harry at the Department. As you may know, I’m obsessed with Auror’s tale, I had much imagination when I spotted it. Then you let Hermione say the answer for Rose’s question would be from Harry, I got more interested in your next chapters. It’s like solving the mystery! Does Draco still love Hermione or is he even alive or not? So intriguing. If so, will Ron take it seriously and will their marriage life be in danger to be continued?

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Review #19, by StarFeatherHanging by a Moment: Hanging by a Moment

12th April 2017:
Hi, Jill! Attack reviews at CTF!

I’m happy to be back to your Ginny/Seamus ship again. Though I skipped the second, but Harry and Seamus
in the banner look so interesting. So exciting to read this series.

This is unexpected. You started with Seamus’ POV. I’ve never read any where he stands in front of the Burrow.
You did a great job. Old boots and the rain suited him so well.

Wow, how poignant this spot is, “found her almost immediately, sitting on the sofa next to an all-too familiar
looking bloke with unruly black hair.” I was very impressed.

In Ginny’s POV, you captured her irritation in the Burrow very well. I could visualize how Molly told her scoldings.

The most intriguing part is “No one understood. No one except Harry.” Did it mean Ginny confess her true feeling for Seamus to Harry? How shocking for Harry! He seemed to understand her. Yeah, Harry is a sort of person, he always wishes Ginny’s happiness.

After that you set the hot quarrel between Seamus and Ginny, which made Harry be a more solitary hero,even if you didn’t write about him in detail, I could sense it. I love it.

“I still have feelings for you, Ginny,” he whispered, reaching out and gently cupping my cheek in the palm of his hand. His touch was so warm and tender and familiar. “And now I know that you could have handled staying with me, and I feel like a bloody idiot for letting you go.” These sentences are so sad. May I call you
a queen of bittersweet, Jill?

Oh, I had a slight hope when I spotted these. : It felt like a blow to the chest. I looked away, not being able to handle the unsaid accusation that I might get bored with Seamus and run back to Harry.

: Harry was a constant shadow, a constant threat looming over our relationship

: there was no doubt it meant something to Harry too

You know, I’m an earnest Hinny shipper :P


Hmmm, the last one is so sad…Seamus left Ginny. How will you develop their relationship?

Author's Response: Looks like you captured the flag with this story, so congratulations! ♥

Yeah, you don't need to read all of the one-shots in order; that's what I love about this series. I tried to leave enough information in each so you knew what was going on without being confused. And Harry/Seamus is definitely interesting :P

Yes, Ginny confessed her feelings for Seamus to Harry at one point ;)

You certainly can call me the queen of bittersweet! :P I'm also the Queen of Angst, as Liz likes to refer to me as, haha!

I know you're a Hinny shipper :P If you want to know how their relationship develops, check out part 4 in the series!

Thanks for all the great reviews! ♥


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Review #20, by StarFeatherShattered: Shattered

12th April 2017:
Hi, Jill. The reason why I stopped by here ‘coz Sian summoned me to this story. Jailbreak review for her!

So in the middle of reading your Ginny/ Seamus ship, I changed the story to this, and I’m very confused by
this ship, oh my Merlin, you write Seamus/Dean ship as well? I’m stunned by your varieties in fanfictions
again!

It’s new to read Post-War Hogwarts from Dean’s POV.

“There were soft moans and other sounds of pain coming from those who were injured, and Dean really
wished he could close his eyes and when he opened them, have all of this devastation be nothing
but a nightmare.”

“Neville greeted shortly, finding him in the mass of bodies.”

The descriptions about wars reminded me of visiting Hiroshima. Though I’ve never experienced the wars,
seeing and feeling things there sometimes haunt me. Your excellent works made me feel in that way.

Omg… you let Seamus die here? So shocking… I lost my words.

I spotted this : he couldn’t help but notice the dirty dishes that were lying in the sink, and the mail
that still hadn’t been sorted on the kitchen table. Walking across the room, he discarded the bottles
into the recycling bin before going into his liquor cabinet for a new one.

This is so understandable for Dean to grieve his death. People can’t function when they grieve for their dearest
ones.

“They had all managed to find peace and comfort after the war, to find a shred of light after the darkness – all but him.”
“losing motivation for even the smallest of tasks” I can really understand his feelings.

So sad he could escape only by drinking Firewhiskey. So sad to read all conversations between the ghost Seamus and
desperate Dean, the last scene, the shattered glass is so heartbreaking.
Did Dean end his life by too much drinking? So sad story.

Author's Response: I *do* write Deamus as a ship as well, haha! Although they weren't a ship in this one, they were just best friends.

I'm sorry! :( I thought it was the most realistic b/c we hear about the bodies in canon kind of and the people who were there. It just made sense after the war but it killed me to kill Seamus.

You're right, people really can't function and I wanted to try and highlight that for Dean. I'm glad that seemed to work here.

Thanks Kenny! ♥


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Review #21, by StarFeatherThe Edge of the World : The Edge of the World

12th April 2017:
Jailbreak for Deeds at CTF Round 1

Oh, Jill, it’s a beautiful piece of work. I was impressed by your writing skill again. I’ve read not a few fics written about grieving Fred’s death, but yours is the most artistic one. I spotted these expressions:

The air was thinner up here and the view was gorgeous - the trees were painted different colors as the crisp,
autumn air changed the leaves from green to a faded gold color and to a vibrant red. Up here, it was easy to forget the crushing weight in my lungs and for a moment, everything felt still.

And I was strongly attracted by the next ones :

This was like all of the crushing sadness just floated off of me as I sailed through the air.
This was intoxicating and there was a part of me that wanted it to last forever.

I braced myself, somehow repositioning my body (it probably looked like I was flailing) and braced myself to hit the water.

The water was freezing, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as I had been preparing for.
I let myself sink underneath for a moment before kicking my legs back up to the surface,
letting the air fill my lungs and allowing myself to breathe. It was like I was breathing for the first time in a long time.

I could really feel George’s senses, the icy water and cold air with him through your excellent jobs.
At the same time, I realized people recognize their own lives when they are on the edge between
live or die.

One more impressed thing is you intentionally switched the paragraphs in an irregular way, right? It gave us strong impact.

Cate seems to be your Original character. She is also your marvelous product. I respect your characterization
again.

Author's Response: Hey Kenny!

I'm glad you thought this was artistic. I kind of mirrored the style after the book I read recently (and gave credit to in the end), so I'm glad that worked out well!

It always makes me happy when people can feel my characters' emotions, especially in a piece like this.

Thanks for another great review!


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Review #22, by StarFeatherStorm: Broken Dreams

12th April 2017:
Jailbreak for Deeds at CTF!


Hi, Jill! It’s so great to be back here. Because I thought of reading first before my fellow gryffies decided to choose the other works
written by you. I struggle and take much time to write about Harry, but I can’t stop writing about him like the other authors.
It’s rather fun to torment him by severe facts, isn’t it? (Poor Harry!) A war hero, still unhappy.

I’ve read some about their broken up, Ginny went out with the other guy stories before. It’s heartbreaking and can’t stop reading
how he suffered from the lost love, yours is also well written. The difference, your unique way is that you focused on Harry’s status,
he was a war hero, but he lost the girl who was happy with one of DA members, not Dean, he was Seamus (the other I’ve read in the
other site, Ginny was going to be engaged to a new guy out of Hogwarts.). Agh, the series, Seamus/Ginny ship stories are connected to this story in this way!
Brilliant!

And you didn’t finish the story like miserable Harry gave up his hope. You gave us hope that he would rise again.

I wish I could come back to next chapter soon.

Author's Response: Hey Kenny!

Yeah, I couldn't really imagine Harry being *happy* after the war, you know? There is still so much chaos and so many raw emotions to deal with, plus the fact that he lost the love of his life.

They are connected! Everything is kind of connected in that way, tbh, but you don't have to read everything to read different stories. :P

Thanks for the review!♥


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Review #23, by StarFeatherBetween You and Me: Between You and Me

12th April 2017:
Jailbreak for Abbie at CTF round 1!

Hi, Jill. I really enjoy reading yours again. I’m very impressed by your varieties on HP characters.

When I came across the banner on which Ginny with Seamus, I could predict what would come and
was afraid that I might not be able to write a review for this, ‘coz I’m Hinny shipper. But my worry was nothing when I started reading it. You gave the readers detailed descriptions how Carrows had done brutal things to Gryffindors, especially, the torture scenes (oh no the chains of the first years, so horrific!) made Seamus look more heroic and Ginny had been struggling with her anxiety without Harry, which added the motivation to make them a couple.

The preparation was done right and you set romance from the middle to the latter half, you began with Ginny’s conflict not to
be attracted or not to reveal her true feeling towards Seamus, which went smoothly and caught our heart. We can understand how her feeling tilted to Seamus and you gave us the right answer to it. So we, even Hinny shippers can accept their ship.
You expressed the war time situation around Gryffindor students precisely in your words and gave Ginny passing love, which
made this story more beautiful.

It seems that you prepared three more, I’m curious to know how you will develop this ship.

Author's Response: Hey Kenny!

I'm glad you were able to get through it even as a Hinny shipper.

I'm super happy that the buildup was done well and that all the feelings could be understood. And yay! I like being accepted by Hinny shippers :P



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Review #24, by StarFeatherTwo Birds, One Stone: The Awkward Proposal

12th April 2017:
Hi, Jill. Attack Review at CTF on the forums No.3 from me!
I enjoy reading yours and leaving reviews ‘coz you were so kind to me at NaNo last year. Thank you so much at that time!

When Abbie chose this Next genre, I didn’t have confidence to write a review,
Next Genre is not my field which I’m good at, but I noticed I didn’t need to worry once I started reading.
First, I was completely impressed by your descriptions about Leaky Cauldron and the pub owner, Tom.
I could feel how fish and chips tasted for James and Han even I could smell of them and hear the noise around
James and Han including the other people’s chat.

The second, your characterization of James Potter. From your marvelous description, I could visualize how James looked like, maybe
he looked after his mother mostly in appearance and the heart inside must be very much like Harry (I sensed that he got furious for Han about Wood), perhaps the grin is like his father,
which must have attracted girls. I could learn a lot from your work on the characters.

Naturally I was engaged in your romance, (though romance is another field I’m not good at) I really enjoyed their conversation about the plot to trap Wood.
It’s fun to imagine the outcome of their plan. Maybe they will be able to achieve each purpose, or after the events coming next, they may fall in love each other against their first attempt. Am I wrong? Which way the story goes, it must be interesting!

Two Birds, One Stone, A good title for this story!

Author's Response: Hey Kenny! It is in a Hufflepuff's nature to be kind ;) But seriously it was my pleasure.

Thanks! Description was something I really worked on in this chapter, so it means a lot that you were able to see everything and feel the fish and chips.

I'm glad that even though romance/Next Gen isn't really your forte, you were able to be engaged throughout the story - that's actually really cool.

And well, about the outcome of their plan... guess you'll just have to read on to find out! ;)

Thanks! ♥


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Review #25, by StarFeatherHaunting Shadows: Cracks

12th April 2017:
Attack Review at CTF round 1 for Jill!

Hi, me again. I was very impressed by your work at the previous CTF attack review, I enjoyed reading this, too.

Wow, the first line, “He’s right there, I thought, staring at him through the glass of the greenhouse. I can’t possibly be the only one who sees him.” is also intriguing. As I read the summary first, (this time ;) ), I wondered if she saw a ghost or something. At the same time I wondered what was like to see a ghost in a greenhouse during class.
“No one else seemed to notice.” But she could see him. How scary!

Tommy and Rob seemed to be real persons, right? But Chris was a ghost, a muggle one.
(Every time I spot Gryffindor like Lee Jordan, it makes me smile. And I waited the moment for Fred.)

I like the difference between George and Fred you wrote, “the slightly stockier twin, and his red hair was disheveled, his brown eyes shining”. Hmm he was “heading back from Hagrid’s on official business”… what was the official business? I’m curious to know that.

“Being with Fred had almost made me forget about seeing Chris’ ghost after the Herbology lesson. Almost.” I feel happy for her. To see and think about the ghost all the time is no good for her.

From the conversation with Angelina and Alicia, I think I could capture what had happened to her. Though I don’t have the experience to spend time with friends at the dorm like them at Hogwarts, I could imagine what their relationship at Gryffindor CR were like from your excellent work. I enjoyed very much. It was also fun to read how the Triwizard Tournament was seen from the other students from their conversation.

Reading the scene she started drawing, I felt like I also wanted to start drawing pictures, which I’ve postponed so long. Oh, it’s so sad, this “I drew in months was the one thing that had been haunting my dreams at night.

That day at the quarry.

The day Chris died.”

And that was when she’ d shed tears over his death. So sad.

And it was good for her she had her brother, Tommy. So touching chapter!

Author's Response: Hello again, Kenny!

Tommy and Rob are definitely real people - her brother and her ex specifically. Is Chris a ghost, though, or just an image of her imagination? ;)

I do like to distinguish the twins, especially because as Cate gets to know them better, she's going to spot the physical differences.

It was fun to write that scene in the Gryffindor CR with the girls and imagine what the tournament was like from someone other than Harry's POV. :)

I'm glad the scene got you to want to draw again!

Thank you again!


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