Reading Reviews From Member: StarFeather
518 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StarFeatherChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Thinking Outside The Box

1st May 2016:
Hi, Kevin! I was impressed by the spot, Harry and Ron practiced Taijiquan. I remembered kendo practice. Magical energy and muggle defending training goes well together. It must be interesting to read their move at each quidditch game after these training.

You set another moving situation for the golden quartet. It's quite likely happens that Cannons busted. (I remembered this community, you know?)
I like Ron, always. You captured his character very well. Thank you!


Author's Response: Hey, Kenny! Thanks for reviewing again!

I knew you, of all people, would appreciate the martial arts twist I've thrown into the story! :) Yes, you will have to keep your eyes open for the quidditch matches...I think you'll really like them from now on.

We'll see what happens with the Cannons. You know how tricky I am with the story plots!!

I really like Ron, too. Thanks for the compliment! I've always thought Ron needed more character development, so this is my view of how he matures. I'm glad you like it!

Again, always a pleasure to read your reviews, Kenny!!

 Report Review

Review #2, by StarFeatherYes Chef: Prologue: Television

1st May 2016:
Congrats on Archive MoTM and the achievement at 100 challenges, Kaitlin!

When I found your banner request at TDA, I had interest in your new story. Kaitlin will write about cooking! It must be interesting. I was sure.

The story begins from the scene at an electrical store. Reading the scene would not be so exciting, if Scorpius were a Muggle, but he is not. I think this story is very promising, we expect the next chapters will be like the movie, "Toast".

What if Malfoy lost all their assets and their parents had to cook by themselves, but they couldn't at all? I expect you will write the story, Scorpius went out of the the magical world and would learn how to cook in Muggle cooking school.

You have a lot of stories WIP to write, but I'll ask you. Please update this ASAP.


 Report Review

Review #3, by StarFeatherEvolution: O Captain, My Captain

30th April 2016:
Hallo, Kevin! I thought of stopping by after I saw your name on the forums. Forgive me, my English isn't good, I'm not sure if I can tell my thoughts precisely.

I love to read quidditch things. I remembered Harry in his sixth year, was in the same situation as James. I was excited, your descriptions about tryouts are fun to read. You captured the characteristic of Sirius very well, his attitude towards James is exact Sirius Black.

It's pleasant to imagine that James is distracted by Lily's presence, but you didn't write so easily. Were Lily's best friends spying James? What for?

I always like your naming the players. Ah, O'Shea, is that Irish name? And Craig! I like the name, too. I heard the same title of the Irish tune played often in the pub.

Hmm, I imagined Kaitie Bell when I read Wallenby..., wait, didn't Slughorn invite the Wallenby boy to his club?

I really enjoyed the active scene James and Sirius engaged themselves in the tryouts and the descriptions about the way how the players worked hard to get each position.

You changed Lily on the banner, nice! I like her.


 Report Review

Review #4, by StarFeatherThief: Scones & Jam

26th April 2016:
She achieved her task tremendously.
She marched like a goddess of victory.
Let's celebrate the accomplishment.

Congratulation on the 100th story, Kaitlin!
I've never expected this at all. You chose Romilda for the 100th, we just know her sending Love Potion Harry, the consequence ended in the disaster, Ron's predicament. You reestablished her honor as a Gryffindor. I'm very impressed by your story plot, which is well polished. We read this story with breathless attention, wishing Romilda's and her friends' luck to get food from house-elves. As I told you before, your stories are dramatic and theatrical. Your setting up characters is splendid.
The description at each scene is super!

I'll keep reading your stories as possible as I can from now, here and there. Keep writing!


 Report Review

Review #5, by StarFeatherTales of the Death Hunters: Dark Legacy: Dark Legacy

26th April 2016:
Congrats, Dan for reaching 500,000 words at HPFF!

I was very impressed by your new story, which is very different from your other works I've read before. Very mystic magic with horrifying ritual reminded me of Voldemort's rebirth ritual in the book 4. I've read somewhere about Amazones, the only female tribe's story. I wondered how they produce their descendants. Those terrifying rituals will be banned immediately after Kingsley and Harry find, but I doubt the possibility they can find the Amazones.

Another intiguing episode is the place, Welsh highlands Avery ran into. I wonder if you will write this series near future. I hope so. I'm always your fan. Keep writing whenever you can find time.


Author's Response: Hi, Kenny! I'm going to try to make same-day review answering a thing.

I have to give much credit to Roisin. This story started out as an idea from her story Year Five, where one of the characters was talking about families that kept to the old ways and passed down heirloom wands. I got this idea about old crones living in villages in the woods, rejecting the "hide in plain sight" strategy that most witches and wizards adopted after the Statute of Secrecy.

I do imagine that Harry (and eventually Kingsley) made it a priority to track down Leda and her "family", but it would be hard to make that trade-off with Death Eaters like Avery still on the loose.

I'm not sure what I'll do with this plot line. Leda and her family were interesting to write. I could definitely enjoy doing it again. Time will tell...

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #6, by StarFeatherHarry Potter and the New Centennials: Harry

25th April 2016:
What a shocking prologue! Did our hero die? He even remembered nothing? Did his granddaughter die before his time? Why does Hermione look puzzled? Where are they? What were Harry and Hermione doing? According to the summary, magic had gone with Harry. It's very intriguing. Pixi's magic. What end are you planning, Pixi?

Will the future magical kids save the world? Did Harry and Hermione do what they could do at the moment and will the next generations have to solve the problems? Has mighty Hermione planned something wise?


Author's Response: Hi Kenny!

Wow. You asked all the questions that are going to be answered in the story. I hope that means you are curious about what happens next. :)

I'm glad you came to take a look at my new story. This thing expanded on me and I had to spend much more time putting it together than I expected. But I'm very fond of these characters. I hope you'll come back for the second chapter so you can get some of your answers.

Thanks for the review!


 Report Review

Review #7, by StarFeatherThe Unmarried Weasley: The Unmarried Weasley

24th April 2016:
Hi, Ysh! Finally, I could get back to this story.
I'm amazed by your ability to edit quickly. Your skillful dialogues and brilliant plot will attract more readers. Charlie's bittersweet experiences are unforgettable, once we read your story. We feel for Charlie and wish his happiness, but a god of fate is so harsh to him. You created different view of things, the game of love and the tragedy of misunderstanding. It's heartbreaking to read the process how they loved each other and how they changed (yeah, I know Charlie never stopped loving Tonks.). Thank you for sharing your wonderful piece of works.


Author's Response: Hello Kenny!

Thank you so much for all your help on this story, I was able to make some changes and even add a scene to show the advent of his feelings thanks to your feedback.

I'm really glad you enjoyed the story and my writing, and thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review as well :)


 Report Review

Review #8, by StarFeatherChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Christmas At The Burrow

24th April 2016:
Hi, Kevin! I'm amazed by your various happy episodes: the truth of house-elves history (I remembered the novel,"Roots".) , real nature of Bill and Teddy. You keep the bright tone as usual, but you hinted the dark side of the magical world. It's very impressive.

One more unique thing is you gave an important role to Hermione. I always welcome the description how smart she is. Reading her insight about Potter's ward is thrilling. I chuckled at Kreacher's remark about the number of elven's children.


Author's Response: Hi, Kenny. Thanks for returning to my story!

I know this story is, for the most part, a "happy" story, but I'm glad you noticed that I have tried to subtly show the darker side of the wizarding world. Even in our brightest times the darker side of life is present...we just may not notice it as much when we are "on top of the world". (Isn't that "In Yo" in Japanese? Similar to "YinYang" in Chinese?)

I relate well to Hermione. I was a "bookworm" and a "know-it-all" when I was younger. I try to use my experiences of growing out of my aloofness and bravado to show her progress as she grows into adulthood.

And, I just can't help myself...sometimes I just have to throw a little comedy into the story!

Thanks for the review and I hope I can keep you interested so you will keep coming back!!


 Report Review

Review #9, by StarFeatherLess Than: Less Than

22nd April 2016:
Meg, I was very moved by your narrative tone for this. I guess it was hard to express your hardships, but you sublimed your feeling to a story for Hannah and Neville.

I can't say just sorry for this kind of situation, thinking over so many days you or Hannah had to get over with. It's also unfair that only women have to suffer the humiliating treatments compared with that of men. So your description about Neville glows in the darkness. I felt your powerful message from this story. Thank you for sharing this, Meg.


Author's Response: Aww thank you so much for stopping by and reviewing this, Kenny. ♥

Yeah, it was a bit difficult writing this, but at the same time it wasn't. It felt good to get all of that out there, and I figured Hannah would be the best character to tell this story through. I don't recall JKR stating that she and Neville had children, so it made me think that she may possibly had some reproductive issues.

It's not easy to deal with, that's definitely true. But lucky for Hannah, she does have a great support system in Neville. He truly loves her and won't let this come between them at all. They're both in this for the long run. :)

Thank you again so, so much for stopping by and leaving such kind words. *hug*

Much love,

 Report Review

Review #10, by StarFeatherSanctuary: Sanctuary

21st April 2016:
Hi, Gabbie! I came here for our review swap!
What? I've never known you wrote a sequel to "This is Audrey Tang:The Bad Taste" and you made an entry for Kayla's Story Challenge! It's a good theme for the challenge. And I was so excited to know I could read the sequel. I've wanted to read the next chapter of The Bad Taste.

It's harsh for Percy that he had to endure Bill's hatred. I'm relieved to know Charlie didn't act so harsh against Percy as hard as Bill. I like Charlie. It's heartbreaking to read George tried to mend their relationship. I remembered HP book 7, the last moment of Fred. It's very sad and I understand the last scene became Percy's trauma. You captured Percy's predicament and created his diversity in his mind, the darkness and the brightness, in other word, hope. Hope was given by Audrey. She was so brave to send a letter via Angelina's owl.

I'm looking forward to reading chapter 9 of "This is Audrey Tang:The Bad Taste". I'll ask you again to update the story ASAP!


Author's Response: KENNY!

Thanks for the great review and the swap, it's always such a pleasure. :)

This is a companion piece and is actually the second one that I've made that centers around Percy/Audrey. You should read "That Night" if you were curious about more information from them! :D

I think that in my universe, I've hinted that Bill and Percy do not get along. If you ever read a few of my other stories, you'll understand why that little moment was necessary. I wanted to show that not everyone was happy with Percy being home and oddly enough, it's great to see that Charlie was the one who tried to help.

I don't write Charlie enough. ;__;

I feel like George is the peacemaker and while I haven't talked about it yet in Bad Taste, he kind of takes care of Percy more than he should. He wouldn't fight Bill off but he would always step in. You know, no one really talks about Percy seeing Fred's body that much and I never understood why.

I'm pretty sure that he would be really depressed from something like that.

Anyway, this story is all about hope! Thank you so much for saying that! The beach was the one place Audrey felt happy and Percy being there was sort of a way for him to see that he needed her in his life. She was his happiness and I don't think anyone's been able to really say that quite so well. :D

Chapter nine of Bad Taste will be up eventually, I have to edit it because the original draft is so far away from what I want to do with the story. :D

Stay patient!

Much love,


 Report Review

Review #11, by StarFeatherChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: A Night In The Limelight

20th April 2016:
Hi, Kevin! Thank you for supporting me on beta.

Hmm, Wendy and Lee will be a good couple. We can't take our eyes off of them.

Ha! Ron took a lead over Harry on describing his girlfriend's beauty (lol at his ability to say one sentence saying Hermione is beautiful.) I like the dialogues.

How eloquent Harry was at his speech! I believed he could do it!

I amazed by your effort to describe girls' dressing up and their charm. I can't write like you did.

I also like the description how Harry had been nervous before he made a speech.

The last scene made me smile. What a gentleman Harry was, when they drank cocoa.The episode that his father did the same for his mother, is very heartwarming. I like it.


Author's Response: Kenny, you're very welcome for the beta...I really like doing beta work!

Yes, I have more in store for Wendy and Lee!

I'm happy to hear you like the dialogue, Harry's nervousness and his speech. Harry's always seemed the shy type to me, so I wanted to convey how nervous he was. But, once Ginny told him to speak from his heart, he gained some confidence.

I had a lady co-worker beta this chapter and comment that she wanted to know what the girls were wearing to the party. I had to stretch a bit and do some research. But, when I added the descriptions, she said I did a really good job. It made me proud to know I could do it!

I think Harry and Ginny's love will be a story for the ages. I just can't help writing little love scenes with those two!

Thanks again for the great review!!

 Report Review

Review #12, by StarFeatherThrough The Darkest: More Than a Clue

20th April 2016:
Hi! I'm here for our review swap!

'She couldn’t believe Harry Potter; someone she had admired from her childhood lived in such a gloomy house. She had always imagined him as a bright and cheerful man, judging from the things she heard from Ministry seniors and some of their common friends.'
- I have a soft spot for Harry. I'm glad you described him as a bright and cheerful man. I hope he'll be back soon to real Harry as you described above^.

Talking of your plot about Ginny, it's quite understandable. She suffered Voldemort's curse in the past, she is likely to be involved with the dark world. Not a few authors write happy ever after stories, but yours is new at the point, the dark side of Ginny.

"“No, I don’t.” he shrugged and his face fell. “We’ve been trying to figure out whose handwriting it might be; me and Uncle Harry. But we had never seen it before. We don’t know. We tried to match everyone’s handwriting to it, but it’s different. It has resemblance with none’s but Dumbledore’s.”
- These tell us mystery you set. It's very intriguing. Why did the culprits use Dumbledore's writing? What for?

"a badly bruised witch on the roads of Hogsmeade and I am quite sure she is none other than Ginny.
" - Oh, it's definitely dark side of her. I hope Harry will get back his courage to face the incident with his godson Teddy with Cress' help.

Let's do review swap again.


Author's Response: Hey Kenny! It was great to see you here! :)

Well, the story isn't really involved with Ginny's past with Tom Riddle's diary or anything but that was definitely an inspiration. I don't believe in happily ever after because life doesn't work that way and as Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny etc have spent their teen years fighting the dark arts it is very likely that they migh have had to face the same things at some point in their lives. I'm glad you liked that I've kept the focus on the dark side of hers. :)

I'd love to do a review swap again! Drop me a PM if you're interested. :D

Thank you so much for all the compliments and for taking time to read and review! Hope to see you back for more!


 Report Review

Review #13, by StarFeatherThe Next Great Adventure: Chapter 3: The Beginning

20th April 2016:
Kaitlin, it is very interesting. It may be my most favorite story among your stories, so far. The episode that Dobby sorted the beans for Harry is very touching. How did you think of the plot? The scene Dobby put all beans in two lines popped in my mind like I watched the movie. Dobby ate all flavor beans Harry disliked, how kind he is! Me and my child discarded the flavour,soap one.

I understood how funny Harry felt when he heard the name, Dumbledore, imagining he was controlling again even after Harry passed away. :)

I'm also impressed by your description that he remembered the time when he taught his first son, James how to play Quidditch. I remembered the time when I taught my child how to ride a bike.

Each description through Harry's eyes made me think about life and death:Hagrid arriving at the Dursley’s for the first time all the way to the last time he’d kissed Ginny. Little did he know, his life was literally flashing before his eyes.
Recently, I think about my life deeply everytime I write down the date for my daily work. Each time I record the date, my life gets shorter compared with my own younger days. If the death visits us like you wrote, I feel like I can welcome him.

I'm completely hooked on your story, Kaitlin. The mystery of weighning of the wands will be revealed from the next chapter, right? Let's wait for Harry's great adventure with much expectation!


 Report Review

Review #14, by StarFeatherThis is Audrey Tang: The Bad Taste: An End and A Beginning

14th April 2016:
Hi, Gabbie! Thank you for offering review swap! I'm glad to be back to your Percy.

Wow, you spared much space for describing the scuffling. Of course, Joseph deserved to be beaten by Percy like you wrote. I'm amazed by your expression of Percy's intense fury. The impressive expression is "there were so many emotions swirling in his pale blue eyes that it hurt her to see", is that caused by his magical nature? I believe it was caused by his trauma after he lost his brother, Fred.

The most exciting spot is when I read the part: "...made a stragne action then, his fingers flexing towards his pants pocket."
I was very thrilled imagining Percy would perform magic! But you haven't shown it to us yet! Oh, Gabbie, how long will you suspend our expectation?

Though Audrey seemed to be afraid of being fired by Remmington, of course he was a nasty man, but I expect she will quit the job and Percy will lead her to a better life or will he propse to her in the next chapter? Please update this story ASAP, Gabbie! I'm wating.


Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you a thousand times for this great review! It's always nice hearing from you and we should swap a lot more often! :)

I kind of wondered if I had described the fighting too much because I thought it was painting Percy in a bad light. Of course, Joseph deserved it but at the same time, I didn't want Percy to come off as being really, really violent.

There are a lot of things going on in Percy's head right now but a lot does have to do with losing Fred. A lot happened to him afterward but I can't spoil that part for you guys just yet. ;)

Percy DID think about using his wand but I can't have him using magic yet! Oddly enough, he will be using magic in the next chapter so you guys won't have to wait for long!

Things don't exactly fall quite so perfectly in line for the couple but things don't go entirely wrong either. :D

See you soon!

Much love,


 Report Review

Review #15, by StarFeatherThe Next Great Adventure: Chapter 2: The Transportation Office

13th April 2016:
Hi, Kaitlin! Thank you for review swap! I've been waiting for this chapter, so now feedback!

It's quite an interesting idea, the heaven has a transportation office like an airport.

It's touching that Dobby is loyal to Harry even after he finished his life on the ground. What a happy man Harry is to be a friend with Dobby.

Dobby's struggle, punishing himself made me smile, remembering the scene when he first met Harry at Dursley's. It's very impressive when we imagine Harry was going to die in his bedroom surrounded by people he loved so much, at the same time Dobby was fighting to be ready for welcoming Harry just in time.

One more impressive spot is Merv is in charge of setting portkeys for everyone who is going to die. Tossing an old rubber boot that is for Charlie, is one of the unique ideas. He also picked up Hannah's portkey, a battered, red plastic cup. When he found Harry's finally, we, readers catch our breaths for our hero, worrying about him if he can be ready for his after life, the next great adventure. Can't wait to read the next chapter.


 Report Review

Review #16, by StarFeatherFlatline: Three

12th April 2016:
Hi, Pixi! Thank you for offering review swap!

I could sense you would prepare more for Kevin's story challenge, I know. :)

From the start, I can connect the link between the Weasleys and the Meadows with France. I've never visited France and can't understand French but I could sense the country through Dorcas' eyes when she met his younger brothers and her stepmother.

I think you created misunderstanding between Dorcas and her father in the first half of this chapter and we, readers feel sad thinking over her dreary feeling that she might blame herself of her mother's death and that she hated that her fatehr didn't accept what she was.

As I wrote at the beginning of this review, you set unexpected twist at the end. Dorcas' father set the stage for her to revenge herself on the villains for her mother. What a great plot. All you can do more is, I think, you can add more hints or explanation before and after Dorcas faced the vllains so that readers can enjoy your story more.

The last scene is very touching. His last wish was to revenge for his wife, which showed how much he loved Dorcas' mother and how deeply he understood his daughter.


Author's Response: Wow. Okay, you read quite a bit more into that scene than I had intended. It's funny what readers come up with when the author doesn't explain him/herself very specifically. Haha.

That would have been an extremely twisted end, if it was supposed to play out the way you described. I thought about it, and though it might work when I revise, I don't think I'm going with that particular ending.

It would be one thing to have the family redeemed by this experience, but then I don't think the break between Dorcas and her father would be clean enough. I wanted to portray a more tragic ending, where both parties do not get the satisfaction of full closure before death. In other words, I still have a bit of work to do on this story.

It would be really cool to see a story where the ending is the way you described, and both the daughter and the father come to some kind of understanding about each other. However, the ending I had in mind was simply for Dorcas to be able to move on, still damaged by her father's actions, without full closure. I will certainly keep your ideas in mind for other stories, because as you said, that twist would be super awesome.

Maybe you can write one like that? :)

Thanks so much for the reviews on all the chapters of this story. I really appreciate your thoughts on this!


 Report Review

Review #17, by StarFeatherChoices That We Make: An Unwelcome Visit

12th April 2016:
Hi, Lily.
I came back.
I don't think Vernon in J.K.Rowling's story will accept Harry with Ron and Hermione in his house, but I really love their dialogues from the beginning. You did a good job! You captured Vernon's character very well. I could feel that from the dialogues you wrote.

Oh, wa...wait, you ended the scene in the middle of the fighting mood? Too short! But very intriguing!
I love action and adventure. Can't wait to read how Harry and his mates will fight back against the Death Eaters!


 Report Review

Review #18, by StarFeatherFlatline: Two

12th April 2016:
Hi, Pixi! I like the name, "Green Dragon Inn", so magical and the secret meeting is very intriguing. Extention charms is very useful, isn't it?

It is exciting to read Alastar Moody in charge of Order mission and find some familiar names like McGonagall, Sturgis and Gideon.

I've been wondering what connection and destruction you would create, then my question was answered. It appears that Dorcas' father blamed her for her mother's death. It's very sad that you imagine your own father blames you for the thing you could do nothing. You spared much space to describe the training scene at the Weasley's, from which I could sense Dorcas's angst sealed deep inside her heart.

I'll be back to the next chapter.


Author's Response: Green Dragon Inn was taken from the Harry Potter Wiki. It was too good a name, so I had to use it. :) I love the little details, and when I have more time, I like to use them. That was one of the things I needed - a cool place for the meeting.

I thought it would be nice to show the other players in this time period. In my revised scene, I have this much more fleshed out (in my head still). Ah, time. How cruel you can be sometimes.

It is very sad when the parent cannot come to terms with tragedy and needs something or someone else to blame. It leaves the child with a very large burden to bear.

Thanks again for the second review!

 Report Review

Review #19, by StarFeatherChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: A Surprise for Ginny…and Some Happy Elves

12th April 2016:
Hi, Kevin. Thank you for beta reading the other day!

This chapter has two big aspects.

1 Joyful party with much love.
2 The important issue about house-elf's right.

I really love your description about Ginny after she finished her first game. Her inner beauty was precisely described, which reminded me of J.K.Rowling's when Ginny won the match Harry couldn't play because of his obsession with Malfoy. Each description is so vivid, for an example, the scene when Molly hugged her daughter.

Though we all know Hermione is a smart witch, I think Harry is also the one, an intelligent wizard. You described him as a wise man. You grasped his gentleness and express his character into words, which captures our heart.

I'll be back again ASAP.


Author's Response: You're very welcome for the beta reading!

And thank you for the review! I know this story is a "feel-good" kind of story, but I try to put in as much realism as I can, too. Even though their lives are very happy and joyful, there is always reality that can sneak its way into life. Not necessarily in a bad way, but in a way that makes one think about bigger issues, especially those of the heart.

It's always a pleasure to read your reviews, Kenny. Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #20, by StarFeatherChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Ginny’s Big Surprise…And Secret Weapon

9th April 2016:
Hi, Kevin! I came back again. I wish I could read faster. Anyway, I'd like to say your description of Ginny's first match is marvelous. The announcer's comments are the best among the other quidditch stories here so far. I felt like I watched soccer match on TV. Very rhythmical as usual.

Hmm, Gwenog ordered Ginny to give Harry a good shagging? How understanding she is. Kreacher must be happy when he was kissed by Ginny. It would never be written by J.K.Rowling in that way. Your style.

The PM I sent, you may be puzzled a little, I meant I think I can add more deeper angst or darker side to your furute Auror's tale, I think you are very good at writing in the bright way, like a musical or American dreams come true-style as you write the story in this chapter, do you get what I try to say? Forgive me, if my expectation is far beyond your estimation.

I'll come back again. :)


Author's Response: Hey, Kenny! Always nice to see your reviews.

My original idea for this story was nothing like the story that evolved. It was to be more adventurous and a bit darker. But, you know how writing took on a life of its own. I think you'll find the last chapter to be more...eventful. And the sequel is nothing like this first story.

I hope you stay with me on this may find the sequel a completely different style. :)

And, I totally get your expectation from your PM. It sounds very exciting and interesting.

 Report Review

Review #21, by StarFeatherChoices That We Make: Packing to Leave

8th April 2016:
Hi, I'm amazed by your working on this story, again. You keep revising constantly.

The things I like here are:

1. You used the dialogues as possible as you could. I think the balance between descriptions and dialogues is good.

2. You described Harry's characteristics by the dialogues between Harry and Hermione very well.

The question I have is that you set the magic that had been protecting Harry from Voldemort, was broken after Dumbledore. I'm a little confused. According to J.K.Rowling, the protection was created by his mother, Lily. If you try to create AU, it may fit.

If Draco finds out Harry isn't safe anymore, what will Draco do next? It's very intriguing.


Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you for your review! I've been working on the revision for some time and have several more chapters waiting to be uploaded. :)

Hmm.. I will have to make it a little more clearer that it wasn't Lily's protection that was broken, but the extra spells and wards that Dumbledore put into place before he had Harry brought to the house.

Draco has an interesting situation of his own...


 Report Review

Review #22, by StarFeatherChasing Life, Seeking Love, Keeping Hope: Those Weasley Men

6th April 2016:
Hi, Kevin! I'm glad to be back here.
Reading the scene where Bill finished decoding the Potter wards, I wondered how the wizards can decode the wards to protect themsleves. We can vaguely imagine how they are like, remembering the the HP movie, the battle of Hogwarts. A kind of light barrier? It may be interesting to imagine and describe them in fanfiction!

I'm always fascinated by your naming, for example, "Brighter Futures Proposal" or "Luck O' the Irish Construction Company", all that jazz.

Hmm, Hermione gave Ron a sly look...what face expression, I'd like to see.

I want to eat Kreacher's exceptional dinner on Saturday...

Harry is so secretive around fund raising, even for Hermione and Ron. It's just like Harry.

Hmm, you tried to reveal house-elf's magic. Interesting. I've been wondering how their magic works.

Hahaha, I couldn't understand " At wuff woolly weed." but Hermione could. :) I like Harry's reaction to Bill's explanation ,too.

The conversation about the martial arts gave me the vision, Harry uses two wands to capture the culprits. It'll be more interesting if he will do it in the future in your multi-chaptered Auror's tale. Please send me PM soon. We have a lot to chat about the plot. I'll tell you my google doc. address.

AH! The last scene, the Weasley men with Harry plus Ginny made me feel like I was watching Harry Potter musical or play in the theater!


Author's Response: Hi, Kenny! Glad you could return! I always love reading your are so detailed.
Ha, ha. I love writing Ron's dialogue when his mouth is full! No one can understand him until Hermione translates!
I'll PM you soon!
Again, thanks for the review, Kenny!!

 Report Review

Review #23, by StarFeatherChoices That We Make: Family Stories

6th April 2016:
Hi,Lily! Thank you for keeping review swap! I'm glad to have you in the Gryffindor house. I didn't expect I would get a multi-chaptered reveiwer.

I'm impressed you keep writing detailed descriptions after fellow authors gave you constructive reviews.

The spots I could understand well is Draco's description. And the beginning, Harry's thought and the conversation between Hermione and Harry. I think you could add more dialogues among the golden trio, which will attract readers to follow your story. :)

The spots I couldn't get are:
* Petunia's feeling towards Harry. It seems that you spared space to describe her emotion, but there are some spots that don't make them clear.
* Ron's thought about Harry's reprimanding. I think you can add Ron's dialogues with Harry at their bedroom scene.

Wait, you hinted that Snape might be Harry's father? I'm confused. if so, it's very intriguing!

I'll come back again.


Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you very much for your review!

Hm... No, Snape isn't Harry's father. Harry thought that Petunia was talking about his father when she was actually talking about Snape. I'll take another look to see how I can clear that up a bit more.

I'll also take another look at clearing up Petunia's feelings and Ron's thoughts.


 Report Review

Review #24, by StarFeatherNot Fade Away: Move On Up

4th April 2016:
Hi! I stopped by from twitter review swap! I've already read from chapter 1 to 7 for Gryffindor Golden Paw Nominations, I voted this for "Most Addicting Story". Because each chapter has musical quotes at Marauder's era, it's just cool, I remembered you twittered on the forums about Marauders music before. Well done! Each characteristic in both Gryffindors and Slytherins is fabulous. The description about the three of Marauders who helped Lupin with his study, is well written, too.

The musical quote of this chapter is about "pass the test", so I guess it implys Lily's predicament at Potions class without Snape's help, too.

Two more impressive descriptions about two Slytherins, Slughorn and Snape from Lily's POV.:

She liked Slughorn, always fair, always decent, always kind to her. But it hadn’t escaped her notice that no invitations to the Slug Club had been issued this year, or that she saw him more out and about in the school than ever before, as if he were avoiding his own House. Slytherin had become a petri dish to breed You-Know-Who’s followers like bacteria, and even her favourite teacher at Hogwarts preferred to ignore it than do anything.

Lily looked to Severus, partnered now with Shanti Dhawan. He was ignoring his new partner, nose too close to his cauldron, and she felt the old urge to tell him off before he got burnt. He looked as unperturbed as ever, cool in the face of a challenge, calm and focused.

I started reading the next chapter. I'll be back again.


Author's Response: I should have got to THIS sooner. Thanks for the nomination and the review. The music definitely helps ME put it in the cultural and historic context (without needing characters to spout 70s slang all the time), so I'm happy it works for you guys, too.

Glad you picked up on the descriptions on Slughorn and Snape; while Snape isn't going to have as important a part in NFA as might be expected for a First War story (I feel he will be too physically removed from the conflict with James/Lily until the prophecy) we will see more of him.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #25, by StarFeatherOnce upon a time: The good werewolf and the evil vampire

3rd April 2016:
Hi, Chiara! Thank you for offering review swap!
I enjoyed your story very much. The dialogues are well written, I could imagine how Sirius told Regulus bed time stories. You visualized how confident and chivalrous Gryffindor heart Sirius had compared with a little brother, Regulus. Hahaha I laughed loud when Sirius thought of Lupin. A good idea!
There must be such a relationship you showed us, Sirius cared Regulus as a big brother and Regulus trusted his brother in his younger days.

I smiled at the scene where Sirius tickled Reg and tenderly caressed his hair. This story is full of love. Thank you for sharing this!


Author's Response: Hey Kenny!!!

I was so happy to swap with you! I really enjoyed your story too! We should do this again! :)

I've always thought that Sirius and Regulus must've been close at first and I wanted to show just that. I'm glad that came across!!!

Ahahah! Yes, thinking about Remus was a good idea to take inspiration! Glad you found it amusing! ;)

So glad you loved the brotherly love in this! I'm actually flattered by the responses I'm getting on this story!

Thank you so much again for the swap and the amazing review!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>