Reading Reviews From Member: StarFeather
257 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StarFeatherCalculus: Focus

27th August 2015:
Hallo, Kevin.
Iíve been itching to be back here but I had a task to finish my third long story till the deadline and Iíve done it and came back after an evening meeting with my colleagues in RL.

Itís comfy to read the conversation between Neville and Hermione. Itís new for me to read Neville are questioning Hermione. The impression that he was cast ďPetrificus TotalusĒ is still strong for me.

Harry Potter is very busy here, too. He had to visit Leakey Cauldron and Billís cottage by the shore. I guess you enjoyed letting him have a trip from London to France. It was fun to read the scene where Hannah was bantered by Harry at the pub. The situation around Ron and Pansy was amusing, too.

The most impressive scene is here, ďShedding his cloak, he sank slowly to his knees.Ē This sentence reminded me of the movie scene when Dobby was buried by him and the same scene in the book 7. Itís very moving.

You might scatter the hints about the background on Hughes and Shafiqs in this chapter. Iíd like to know more. Iíll be back soon.


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Review #2, by StarFeatherLife Drawing: Chapter One

25th August 2015:
Hi, Laura!

Happy Birthday Review!

Iím very happy to come back to your story. Because I love your description about nature very much. I can visualize the scenery clearly in my mind. I really like it. Besides November is one of my favorite months. It may be different from here, but I can imagine how the weather is like there.

The Jack Russell, Aunt Ginny and the question ďWhat duty calls?Ē I wonder who is ďIĒ?
As I read this chapter, another question popped up in my mind. ďA mental note to visit her at least once a year.Ē? Does it mean her husband Harry passed away? How old is she?

Itís interesting that Ginny got interested in Muggle things after Arthur had gone. Then finally you revealed who ďIĒ was. Itís fun to read and trace his experience as an artist. Because Iím thinking to draw and paint pictures when I retired from my work in the future.

Is Teddy going to visit Tokyo to sketch buildings? If he wants to do sketch nature, I recommend him to visit the other countryside.


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Review #3, by StarFeatherAccident: Accident

25th August 2015:
Hi, Frankie!

I thought of reading your A-Z story challenge, so I stopped by. First person POV at this challenge was new to me, to be honest, Iíve read a few, but I still feel like it's fresh, especially from James. I havenít read so many stories from his POV, perhaps it may be first time.

Oh, will they use Strength Potion? It sounds so intriguing. And on the seventh floor! It sounds interesting! Hmm, sandwiches might be delivered by house-elves? The Room of Requirement canít conjure food. Itís funny for James to try to use a whole of matches.
Then Iíve never expected Sirius would put in the Erumpent horn. Your way of ending the story with the determination by James is awesome. I agree with his thought that without Moony and Wormtail, Sirius will do more reckless things.


Author's Response: Kenny,

You are the kindest human! Thank you so much for my very nice review. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)


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Review #4, by StarFeatherAtonement Is Coming: Nightmares And Caterwauling Charms

24th August 2015:
Hi, Kaitlin.

I was pleased to notice one more to read here! Writing about the aftermath of the battle of Hogwarts in the book 7 is a dream for most of us, isnít it? Itís so exciting to read what my fellow gryffies write about it! I know youíre very busy but Iím eager to read the next, Kaitlin!

Well, review. Itís a little bit shocking event that Lucius was sucked out. And itís very heartbreaking to read Draco had been there for his father though his family and friends advised him not to go. I almost shed tears to read Lucius held him tight for the first and the last time for his son.

The way how his mother died, reminded me of the death of Marie Antoinette.

Oh, my.. itís the cruelest judgment for Draco Iíve ever read at HPFF. Your way of talking of his trial dispassionately is very impressive, Kaitlin. I think I felt the same kind of feeling when I read "the Pub" or the death of Charity Burbage. I think itís your unique style, very original and dramatic.

Wow the last paragraphs are very intriguing. I guess Draco must have asked for help to Harry and I wondered what Draco witnessed outside.


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Review #5, by StarFeatherA Heart of Ice: Promise?

24th August 2015:
Hi, Jenn! Thank you for review swap!

The banner of three Slytherins attracted me so I chose this. The title was also intriguing.

I wondered over whose heart of ice itíll be. When I finished reading this, Iím still wondering whose heart you meant. Itís deciphered in various ways.

At first, I thought Bellatrix will tempt Lucius after their wedding, but she was so cruel to tell her sister that she had had an affair with him on their wedding day! Besides, she confessed that in front of all people invited to the ceremony.

It was unexpected that Lucius responded to Bellatrixís wild action, which is bold for him to behave like that. But he wasnít brave enough to face the threatening motion from Narcissa. If he pretends to love her from now on, the act itself will be a heart of ice.

The same thing will suit Narcissa as well. She will pretend to be a model wife but nobody guesses what feeling is whirling inside her. So she may be the coldest person among them.

Poor Draco. I hope they will love and respect each other after their wedding.


Author's Response: Hi Kenny!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story! I am really happy that you were unsure of who's heart I meant since I really wanted the reader to have the chance to interpret what they thought and how they felt. I am super happy to know that it worked!

I hope you enjoyed it and thank you again for the review swap! :)


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Review #6, by StarFeatherRabbit Heart: 8. Hearts and Spades

24th August 2015:
Hi, Pix.
I tried reviewing this in the morning, but Heather did faster than me. So Iíve finished her story and came back here. (Go Team Gold!)

I like the way you set the scene where Albus and Scorpius tried doing prank on James. I could imagine the move of Albus in the tree and the conversation through shoes between him and Scorpius like they used the Muggle transceivers. Then you led us to the rabbit that Wren was tagged. I wonder how long it took to set up this scene.

I enjoyed the gap of their conversation. Itís well planned and very interesting to read.
Poor Albus. He got hurt. If Wren didnít get the rabbit, they would have had a normal conversation like they had before. I guess youíve already lots of twists and turns from here. I wonder how much he would have to endure her distant attitude. I really like Albusís POV.

The conversation at Slytherin CR was also interesting. How did you think of the character, Serena? Do you know the type like her in your life?

I like the conversation between Neville and Wren. And the description of the green houses and working Neville are lovely scenes. I like them.

The last scene was impressive, since you let Wren witness the weird phenomenon in her shed but she was distracted by bunnyís cuteness.

As I read your story, your Albus, Wren and Scorpius live vividly in my mind, I canít stop admiring your description. Your way of writing mystery is very natural so I guess many readers can follow the story smoothly. I wondered why. Perhaps I think one of the reasons, you put nature in this story, weaving the young delicate and sensitive feelings.


Author's Response:

Hi Kenny!

She's fast, that one. Fast fingers.

I love the thing with the shoe too. It was something I wanted to use from the start of the story, and I'm glad it fit when I finally sat down to write it. Some of my cool ideas didn't make it into the story for whatever reason, but that one stuck.

Albus has a lot to go through before things get resolved. It's a long story. I almost felt bad for putting him through everything.

Ah, Serena. She's a bit wacky. I wanted to do a twist on a person who's infatuated with the physical beauty of others, and that's what I came up with. Very superficial. Very focused. Completely not interested in personality or anything on the inside, but I didn't want her to be, erm... tasteless as well.

I'm so glad these characters come alive for you with the words. It's hard to do that, and sometimes I think I don't get it right. The nature aspect is mostly because of the way that Bunny sees the world, and how he communicates with Wren, but I also like how you tied it in with the sensitive feelings of the young people in the story. That can also be true.

Thanks for another review. I'm so glad you are still reading this!


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Review #7, by StarFeatherWhat means most: Healing thoughts

24th August 2015:
#Team Gold!
Hi, Heather

The first paragraph, I was a little confused since I read the last sentences at the previous chapter, Harry got back from Gringotts. So much events are going on at the same time. You set the story Aurors were seeking for Hermioneís parents, its episode is written in detail, Iíve never done in my story, so many kudos on this.

Then oh, you spared for their snogging scene and I wonder you prefer Ron/Hermione ship to others (I shouldíve asked this question at your MTA page).

A long letter from Harry, itís new to me. From Ronís POV is also first time for me to read. And house arrest, Iíve never thought of the idea! But I can understand how goblins want to blame the trio who caused the chaos during the war.

The scene you wrote about Harry and Ginny together, I love it. I like you put the conversation in which Harry mentioned about her hair, just my opinion, if I were you, I wouldnít let Harry say about her hair, just keep it in his mind. The description may be done more detailed by him in his mind. You can do it because I read your beautiful description about the sea and the sky in the previous chapter.

Wow, it was interesting to read the scene where Ginny was angry at Harry showing outburst of her frustration after Harry reminded her of her nightmare. Iíve read the same kind of this episode by the other authors but itís new. Your style is unique.
Funny, Hexing suits her very well. I agree with it. Iím going to put her hexing Harry in my story, at the last chapter of my long story (spoiler), so the idea is very understandable. I really enjoyed the last paragraphs: Sobbing Ginny into Harryís chest, flying them back to the Burrow and the Sheppardís pie.


Author's Response: I will definitely be editing this chapter, because I just got super confused too :P I really appreciate you pointing that out.

I love all this ships, so I don't know which I really like more lol

Ok, so I didn't write Ginny's hair as a description because Harry just got some stuck in his mouth. I meant it to give him an opportunity to tease her.

I'm glad you liked Ginny's outburst scene, I thought that it was important for her to get it out and that Harry would be the one, out of any other person, to get it out of her.

I'll be sure to add some more description too, weaving through the trees and lying on the forest floor leaves a lot of opportunity for description.

Thanks again!

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Review #8, by StarFeatherSever not the Lily flower, lest you bleed in the mud: Prejudice and pride

23rd August 2015:
Hi, Nhaz!

I could guess what you were going to write about from the subtitle, but Iíve been curious how to write about Snape and Lily after the chapter 1, so I came back here.

Then I was very impressed by your plot that Snape tried to explain about the depth of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Itís a great idea that he considered ďthe Mind Arts should not be considered Dark magic and it turns a wizard into a one-man army able to conquer worlds all aloneĒ, these words imply Voldemortís rising.

Though thereíre some parts that are difficult to understand, I think I could understand what you meant here. The mind game. Lily struggled to trust Snape. And she wondered if there would be possibility she could kiss him.
Snape struggled under the Pureblood way of thinking but he couldnít stop loving her.
He wanted to confess his true feeling towards her but he coated it with attempt of a chivalrous act and platonic love.

Iím very curious how you will develop this story at the next chapter.


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Review #9, by StarFeatherThe Walk To Your Beloved: The Walk To Your Beloved

22nd August 2015:
#Team Gold!

Hi, Lauren. I saw the thread of your new one-shot, so I stopped by.
The first scene is very beautiful. Lily was full of hope and happiness and her father was waiting for her to escort. You described him as a father who was very proud of her remembering his wife.

Then the ceremony began, you did a good choice for the instrument, the violin. The aisle of lily petals is also a lovey idea, too. Xylograph artwork! I didnít know the word, ďXylographĒ. Then I noticed this story was written for A-Z alphabetical story challenge and I went back to the beginning. Lauren, you did a good job! It's fun to write this one-shot for the story challenge, isnít it? I also enjoyed writing mine, too. And I wondered at the same time, if you were imagining your future while you wrote thisÖ


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Review #10, by StarFeatherRace Against Time : Chapter 1

21st August 2015:
#Team Gold!
Hi, Meg. I didnít notice youíve written about Emmeline Vance. Why donít you make an entry at my story challenge, Aurorís Tale?

Itís a good idea to explore about her, Meg! And her boss is Scrimgeour and her owlís name is Venus, theyíre cool! And Remus was her best friend! I like it. I like the scene she tried to wake him up, too. Poor Remus. It must be difficult for him to recover and wake up immediately after transformation. I like the description of his messy room, too.

When I read through to the middle, I didnít hesitate to push my favorite button. The choice to set Emmeline Vance as a main character, it is cool itself and you pulled Sirius, Remus and Harry together, itís a really brilliant idea and you wrote them very well. Iíll be back to the next chapter.


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Review #11, by StarFeatherYet: Yet

21st August 2015:
Hi, Katie!

The beautiful night sky banner attracted me so I chose this story as your Birthday Review!

Wow, under the night sky full of stars, they are lying together. Very romantic. How can you write about James in so many words? Very impressive. Staring at many stars let us think of life each other and talk about future. You picked up the nice stage for their dating. Selecting the darkness is also a good idea. You wrote about his profile in detail visually and feel of touch, brushing skin to skin.

Then conversation. Laughter, banter and kissing. Very poetic. You didnít write about Lily so much but we can feel her affection towards James. Iíd like to read this from Jamesís point of view.

Happy Birthday!


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Review #12, by StarFeatherWhat means most: Not the usual thoughts

20th August 2015:
#Team Gold!

Hi, Heather. It is fun to review each other at the multiple chapters, isnít it?
Okay, I jumped in this chapter, Ďcause I saw ďHarryĒ at the summary.

I was relieved to know the letter was from Hermione, which means the serious thing wouldnít happen to Ginnyís brother. It likely happens that Ron ended up in the messy kitchen. I smiled at the image that he was at a loss there. If Harry did cook, he would be able to handle them better. Iíd like to read, if you write the same scene about him and Ginny.

The idea that Harry takes care of Teddy himself after advice from Molly is a good idea.
I let Andromeda do it in my story.

One of the impressive description here is the beautiful view of the sea and the sky. Iím fond of the detailed writing about nature. It is well written. I love it. I guess gentle time passed among Cora, Molly and Ginny. Talking about the dearest people they lost is important for them to heal each other.

Ginny got horny when Harry and Teddy were late, but I understand how severe things she had to endure in the past. But if something happened then, it would be another interesting story. (Whisper in your ear, why don't you make an entry in my Aurorís Tale story challenge?)

Anyway, he came back from Gringotts, what did he find there? Iíll be back again!


Author's Response: ok, I can see why you used that word and got it confused lolol, it's ok, I forgive you :P

You're so sneaky, trying to make me enter you're challenge... ok yes, since you said that I sort of have a plot bunny, but still! you...

Anyway, I'm happy to hear you really liked the detail of their surroundings, that means a lot considering your stories are so focused on them :)

I like the idea that Harry is more hands on with Teddy, not full time or anything, Teddy is all Andromeda has, so I doubt she'll need too much help for a little while.

I'm so glad you like my story, and it isn't even edited yet! lol I'm sort of rereading the story for myself so I remember more of what I wanted to do, but this really helps 'cause you're giving me more ideas!
Thank you!!

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Review #13, by StarFeatherSummerbee: Summerbee

20th August 2015:
#Team Gold!

Hi, Gina. Me again.
I had time to read for a while so I stopped by.
Then I found this A-to-Z challenge in your works, I jumped in immediately. Iíve been very curious what theme youíll write about. Then I found you set the story at the Psychiatric Institute and you named it after Felix Summerbee, who invented Cheering Charms, itís a good idea.

You set Lucy, a daughter of Percy as a main character who needs hospital treatment. The first sentences are wrapped in gloomy mood and we worry that she nearly committed suicide. Faultless students sometimes fall into this kind of predicament you described. I guess life was so hard for her to carry on. You expressed her feeling and people around her through alphabetization, itís a quite difficult theme but you accomplished it. I thought the story was ended at the last paragraph beginning with Z but you restarted going back to the first alphabet, adding the process of her getting out of Summerbee, the pleasure to be free and the sorrow of parting, the contrast is awesome!

In the first half, we notice Norah Vane has a special feeling for Lucy. And then you wrote about her emotion straight at the end, which is also cool!


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Review #14, by StarFeatherHarry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: Fortunes

20th August 2015:
Hi, Dan. Iím writing the last chapter of my story and in a kind of block wondering how to describe the action scene and thought of coming back here.

The first paragraph is very impressive visually. I could imagine the feathers of the pigeons were ruffled by the fall breeze and the old building like a movie.
We know Flint as a cunning Slytherin, so reading him as a timid man who has human feelings, itís quite new and I like it. At the same time I wonder who the ďladyĒ is. Is she a canon character?

I got interested in the book, ďAncient Secrets of the Dark Wizards of WalesĒ. Will it be the key to solve the incident at Ministry? The conversation between Susan and Harry is very interesting. I wonder how you always set up the action and describe the scene where Harry takes lead. Do movies or books inspire you? How do these conversation pop up in your mind?

Fifty people at the Burrow, it must be chaos. Thinking over Harry lost his parents and grandparents earlier, we feel happy for him to have so many relatives.

Then you let another villain enter, I guess he must be a man who would kill Ginny. And I wondered if the journal Flint tried to get, was the destroyed diary Lucius Malfoy put into Ginnyís cauldron in her second year.

Itís pleasing to read the conversation between Harry and Ron and Hermione is getting better but wait, did you mention Hermione couldnít walk at the first chapters? I have to check it later.


Author's Response: Hi, Kenny. I've been reviewing too much to answer my reviews. Time to rebalance my priorities.

I'm flattered that you like my action scenes. I put a lot of thought into them, so it's good to hear that.

You'll find out much, much more about the dark lady as the story goes on. She's a very interesting one.

I took inspiration from a lot of different places for this story, so I guess you'd say that things ultimately get blended and take shape inside my mind. For the scenes in the Auror Department, I tried to take concepts from modern law enforcement dramas and then take them back in time to match the way that the wizarding world always seems to be behind the times.

That is a lot of people at the Burrow, but I think it's the kind of chaos that Molly and Arthur love.

The journal has nothing to do with the diary horcrux. I'll let that much slip. But telling you any more would ruin the surprise. ;)

Hermione is feeling a little bit better, but she has a long, difficult road to recovery. You'll see soon...

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #15, by StarFeatherRabbit Heart: 7. Heart To Handle

20th August 2015:
#(Team Gold!) I tried to post this review during lunch time, but Kaitlin was faster..(sigh).

Thank you for dropping by my new one-shot, Pixi. Oh, you do music, too. Iím happy to know that. Iíd like to reply to your awesome review, but I think it better to visit here first after Kevin set the review race.

Itís good to see Wren became free from familyís troubles. The new semester, the new study schedule and much hope for the new things. You described them naturally.

Usually, itís warming to see someone cares pets. But we know the rabbit was cursed, so we wish that Wren will notice something goes wrong ASAP. Itís heartbreaking to read the part, ďSheíd already lost Gran. She couldnít bear to lose anyone else.Ē

I wondered what charm is ďCarpe Retractum.Ē Is it related to music? The description of the Advanced Charms class is admirable, too. Though I felt puzzled a little to know Albus was a Slytherin student with Scorpius first, now I got used to it, itís very likely that he is good at Charms, his mother was good at casting Bat-Boggy Hex and he surely has some of the characters of Snape like his middle name shows it.

Wrenís daydream reminded me of Harryís headache caused by the link with Voldemort. Itís a good plot to set her like him. She canít even listen to what Ackerly said about homework distracted thinking hard about the rabbit. Itís very understandable that Albus squirmed from the attention drawn to their table. I smiled at the opposite reaction of Rose, too. They reminded me of Harry and Hermione. I understand Wrenís embarrassing feeling towards her father, too. Adolescent boys and girls feel like that towards parents.

The description of the scene where Wren tried to stay awake dividing her classmates by school colors on their robe trim is interesting. I love the paragraphs where you condensed with Wrenís feeling towards Albus and his short remark which shows his all feeling for her, ďMissed you at lunch.Ē

Wow, thereíre four mysteries. Why didnít the letter reach Dillonís place? Why couldnít Wren perform her magic well? Can Dillon manipulate anybody through the poor rabbit? How much power does he hold inside him like a fading light ball?


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Review #16, by StarFeatherWithering: Withering

20th August 2015:
Hi, Gina. I tried to review this as Team Gold but Kaitlin was faster so anyway, Iíll leave review. (Kevin also cheers us @Review Races.)

I sometimes avoid reading the story about James and Lily, because I know theyíre going to die in the end, itís sad to read through. But when I finished reading your story, I didnít regret that I stopped by. Itís written very beautifully. You wrote about their stuffy occluded situation that theyíre forced to be trapped inside the hiding place. I could understand how James felt irritated the predicament and how they escaped from Voldemort with nothing but the old clothes on their back with Harry. It's very heartbreaking to read James asked Lily about their afterlife.

The cheering part here is the scene when he try to humor Harry. The description that they cling together is well written and it moves us to tears. You set the relationship between James and Lily persuasively. James wanted to act impulsively, he couldnít bare the blocked up situation. Lily played a part to reprimand him like she used to do that before. I was afraid that the act triggered tragedy that Voldemort found them. But I was greatly relieved to know it didnít. You secured the modest family gathering moment for them now.


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Review #17, by StarFeathershe's thunderstorms: she's thunderstorms

19th August 2015:
Happy Birthday, Adi!

Wow, it's breathtakingly beautiful, a great piece of work. I experienced this feeling in your other marvelous one-shot, Oil and Water but this is also awesome! Thunderstoms, Fireworks and Cannonballs, they're very impressive. Is this your original way to express the beauty of the character? You scattered many hints to let us guess who she was. Luna, of course, but after I read this I have to change the way to see her. you drew her in your canvas so beautifuly. How can I say? The flow is perfect, I'll push my favorite immediately. I remembered this kind of feeling when I read Sian's "The Story of You."

How did you reach this writing style, Adi? I'd like to know. Who is your favorrite writer? Do you have special poets to recommend ? ( sorry I should've asked these questions on your MTA page.)


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Review #18, by StarFeatherWhat means most: Complicated Thoughts

19th August 2015:
Hi, Heather. I read through the previous chapters and came here, because.., you know, I Love Harry/Ginny ship. (sorry I repeated many times.)

I read you set the original character, Sirius's wife, is that right? Wow she had his son. It's very moving. At least he left his own son. But his name was after him and his best mate, James, which is a little confusing, Harry's middle name is James and his future first son will be James..

Okay, let's get back to this chapter. I felt the dialogues were increasing as I read through from the chapter 4 to here. Is it easy for you to write in that style? Since I've heard somewhere it's better to avoid writing many dialogues. During House Cup writing short stories battle, we were not allowed to write in dialogues in sequence. How do you think? I just want to know if it's a common sense when you write stories in English.

Overall you described their sad feeling that they lost the dearest people during the battle, sharing pain each other, you wrote about them beautifully. The saddest scene is Molly crashed a pan to the floor and ran crying.

You save us from the sad feeling by putting the scene of Trelawney, it's very comical. I like it.

My most favorite scene here is, "Harry and I sit in my room, he's reading his very worn Quidditch through the ages, and I just have my head on his shoulder when I hear it again." Please write these kind of scenes more. I love it. :)

Tha last part is very intriguing. What will happen to Ginny's brother?


Author's Response: Ok, at first I got very confused and thought you reviewed chapter 4 lol. I've been editing and had just gotten there so I definitely see what you mean about the dialogue! I can't believe I was doing that... Well, I'm older and wiser and editing lol. But still, thank you so much for catching that, I don't know, I didn't realize I was doing it. None of the other reviews mentioned it so I thought it was fine, but rereading it now... jeez. lol.
I'm so glad you're enjoying the emotions I've tried conveying, it really is the most important part in writing that I've found.

You'll have to wait to find out! :) I didn't know how fun it was to do cliff hangers until I made one lol.
Thanks for the awesome review!

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Review #19, by StarFeatherTom. : Ginny.

18th August 2015:
Hi, Erin!

Wow, you used the second person point of view, itís very unique and the first paragraph is poetic. I like it. I even read them aloud. Then you let us focus on the book, itís brilliant. At the third paragraph, you added Ginnyís feeling to the detailed book, itís admirable. The flow is very natural and you lead us to Tom Riddleís trap with Ginny.

The most thrilling scene you set next. We wait Riddleís voice with her. And I wonder how deeply she has been trapped so far. Has she already confessed her feeling towards Harry to Riddle?

Itís a good idea that you described her six brothers in this. Itís interesting that you wrote the situation around her from a different angle in the latter part, which makes us wish she will change her mind. But it was too late, it seemed Dark Lord had arisen.


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Review #20, by StarFeatherAtonement Is Coming: The Dungeon

17th August 2015:
#Team Gold!
Hi, Kaitlin. I didnít forget your Harry & mystery story. Wow, mystery starts here..

Oh, no! Two powerful wizard and witch were attacked. The first paragraphs reminded me of Voldemort. I wished no more Arthur, in my mind. Then you let Terry Boot enter. How did he become a villain? Itís intriguing.

Itís always heartbreaking to see our McGonagall was hurt and trapped in a cell. I wondered if the people in black cloaks with hoods were the remaining Death Eaters. The boss of the villains called her ďMinerva,Ē so he knew her very well, who is he?

Oh, no, Kaitlin, are you going to let him torture her? Please no! Maybe he is eager to know about the Elder Wand or Voldemortís Horcruxes. I wish she would be able to run away as soon as possible using her wandless magic like Albus Dumbledore did before.
If they succeed in camouflage using Polyjuice Potion, Harry and his friends will have to fight again. When will happiness visit him?


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Review #21, by StarFeatherWhat means most: Thoughts, about a week later

17th August 2015:
Hi, Heather! I came back again. I read the second chapter, where I was very impressed by the episode of Luna and her friends and I thought of reading the next, becauseÖ I wanted to read Harryís and Ginnyís POV. (Iím a Harry&Ginny shipper, you know.)

If J.K.Rowling adds more description about the aftermath of the battle of Hogwarts, she may not write these in detail like you, but I enjoyed them. Itís a good thing to write about the process where they get back trust each other. (:hide: I avoided writing them in my story ).

My favorite parts here are, ďI awkwardly take her lead,Ē and ďI turn towards Ginny, and my heart nearly stops Ďcause she seems to glow with happiness. I concentrate breathing for a minute, the difference between talking about grief, and happiness of a new life is a bit much to take in.Ē Please let me explain. The first phrase you wrote described Harryís characteristic very well, heís such a humble and shy person. The second ones are well written about Ginnyís inner beauty. I like them.


Author's Response: Yay! Please feel free to read more, it's just that they are different because I tried to write in present tense, it worked, and it didn't. I think it mostly does because I focus on the characters emotions which, like you, people seemed to really like :)
I'm so glad you liked those parts! I felt like I needed to emphasize his character and how hard this time really is for them. I can't even imagine going through something like that.
P.S I like detail lol, it's one of the things I kinda missed in the HP books, glad you liked them :)

Thank you so much, glad you like it so far :)

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Review #22, by StarFeatherJigsaw: Piece #3

17th August 2015:
Hi, Sian!

Wow, you set various characters tightly intertwined through the press conference. Do you write the plan about multiple characters before starting to write? Like, who are Roxanneís rivals, victims or boyfriend, or enemies or supporters.. And I wonder why Lily tried not to be aware of her like Fred. Will these questions be answered in the next chapter?

She canít forget her ex- boyfriend Daniel. Is she going to find a new one? I guess you set more romance scene in the next chapters.

You mentioned Harry a little when you describe inside the Ministry. Is it common sense not to write about him in the fan fiction world? Because I read somewhere in the review on my story that itís wiser to avoid the main Canon character to put in the story. I just want to know.

Iím getting one of Roxanneís supporters, so I feel happy each time she succeed in doing pertinent remark at the press conference, and sheís getting the link to the circle of front page reporters, and I guess sheíll find important facts later, itís very thrilling.

One more question, you use the present tense. Is it popular writing style?


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Review #23, by StarFeatherSever not the Lily flower, lest you bleed in the mud: One bloody word

16th August 2015:
Hi, Nhaz. I stopped by from the forums.

Okay, in the first paragraphs, you understand the characterization of Snape very well. You depict him, the stubbornness and solitary solving problems, which always led him to the tragedy. I felt your passion towards Snape/Lily ship.

J.K.Rowling just showed us how James Potter and his friends bullied Snape through Pensieve memory Harry saw. You probed deeply into the episode, described his angst very well. She has never mentioned his specific complicated feelings towards Lily, too. You visualized them and expressed them in your words, so many kudos on it.

If you have time to edit this chapter, you may notice James Potterís words, ďCome onĒ
instead of ďSome on,Ē. I think if you add the description about Sirius Black when they bullied Snape,for example, how he responded to Snape's words, itíll be more effective for readers. Iíll be back to the next chapter soon.


Author's Response: Hi Kenny, thank you for your review.

Among the fandom, Snape's feelings for Lily often get either idealised as a pure and noble love, or trivialised to a sick obsession. I think that right at this moment they had the potential to become both, and I start from there.

Thanks for pointing out the typos, I'll fix them. Usually I don't leave any after I proofread, but occasionally some slip by unnoticed. About Sirius - yes, I felt something was missing about the Marauders. I'll have him throw a line or two, otherwise he's too quiet for his usual self. Indeed, in the book it was as though he was even more proactive than James about bullying Severus.

Once again, thank you for your time.


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Review #24, by StarFeatherA Study in Silver: The Game Is On

16th August 2015:
Hi, Roisin. Thank you for leaving review on my new one-shot.

The first paragraph about the clues by Perry (Scorp) are well polished. I felt sorry that Hugo, of all people, a son of Hermione, was involved in the incident. The description of Ronís yellow hatchback was very impressive. As I kept reading, the feeling got stronger, I wondered why he took to misconduct like Harry tried to let him reformed.

I enjoyed the scene of investigation at Roseís cottage. She seems to have better taste than her father Ron, whose room was orange with posters and goods of Chudley Cannons. And then the stash was found in her room, what a surprise! You have such a bold plan to make children of Hermione and Ron step in vice. The process of revelation about Blishwickís trick by Perry is very complicated for me to read and I wondered how long you tackled with sorting them out.

The idea that Perry became an addict to infiltrate the office of Blishwick is a really awesome idea. It was well developed into big mystery full of actions and cliffhanging chasing games. Improvisation and under the disguise investigation without Aurorís help gave us readers lots of thrills. And the magical blue berry sized sphere was a brilliant idea, too! The episode that it was inherited from Draco Malfoy is also fantastic!
Malfoy could own the kind of dark artifact. Then the last scene of their kissing, oh my, how did you come up with the idea?


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Review #25, by StarFeatherHarry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: Strange Bedfellows

15th August 2015:
Hallo, Dan. 

I came back here. As you mentioned at response before, Draco entered and finally brought crucial information to Harry. The conversation between Harry and him is very interesting. You kept their classical old rivalry letting them exchange sarcastic conversation. At the end Harry thanked him, which is very Harry-like and Draco didnít show his emotion as well, itís very entertaining.

Back to the dark curse which Hermione suffered, is mystery hidden by dark clouds. To find the answer, Harry came back to Hogwarts to consult the headmasters, I love it, too.

I also like the small episode that you let Harry feel Hermione was his best mate more deeply than Ron. And I love his care towards Ron, ďhe had learned many years ago that this was Ronís place and he needed to give the two of them space.Ē, too.

I also like your unobtrusive depiction about Harry as a Head Auror, inserting the scene where he was observing his young subordinates work on the investigation.

I wondered if you took much more time to write about Astoria, because J.K.Rowling didnít mention about her so much in the books. So many kudos on it, including the scene where Draco rescued her from Flintís dirty creepy act.


Author's Response: Hi, Kenny! Welcome back!

I'm glad you enjoyed the conversation between Draco and Harry. That one was tricky, because there were a lot of things I was trying to do. I wanted to age them realistically, but maintain a good amount of that adolescent rivalry. I wanted Harry to be a bit childish while still thinking strategically about what he needed to get out of the conversation. I wanted Draco to be snarky and rude, but to still have a reason he was there. All in all, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

I think Harry took Luna's idea from DH to heart. When you need to find out about something that nobody alive has ever seen, you ask someone who's dead.

I tried very hard to evolve the friendship between the trio to take account of the many years that had passed. There are certain boundaries that probably became very important over the years.

Harry was being a bit obtrusive until Ron reminded him to back off and let the younger Aurors do their jobs. He needs Ron around for things like that.

You'll see a lot more of Astoria later in the story. I really enjoyed writing her, so much so that she and Draco got their own story in Detox.

Thanks so much for the review and good luck with GryCReMo!

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