Reading Reviews From Member: FredWeasleyIsMyKing
  
242 Reviews Found

Review #1, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingSweet Madness: Potions and Baths

16th March 2014:
Hey again!

So the start of this was really creepy in Sev's POV. You did a good job of his characterisation. I don't see many stories where he's the ring leader and master planner so it was a good change. Your descriptions of the potions were also really great, I loved the detail you used.

The second half was much more relaxed and fun with the marauders! Poor James... I'm not convinced a sparkly tie is what chicks will go for but I give him 10/10 for effort! The whole thing with Peter in the bath was suitably awkward... you did a great job of writing that part.

Quick typo for you: "Chicks did shiny things. I think you mean chicks dig shiny things!

Great chapter again though!

Lauren :)
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Author's Response: Hi again!

Yay, I'm glad you like my evil Sevvy!! He's so much fun to write!
Ooh, I had to research the appropriate potions for quite a while until I found them! :D

Haha, yeah! James is really trying hard, fussing and worrying Lily will just turn him down again - this is the ultimate try to get Evans to admit she kind likes him a bit, James is pulling all the strings... Maybe he's getting a little desperate with the glitter but hey, maybe it'll work? Hehehe^^

I'm glad the scene with Peter felt awkward enough - it wasn't all that easy to write :D

Aaargh, thank you for pointing out the typo - I noticed it after the chapter was validated, edited it in word and completely forgot about it afterwards!7

Again, thank you for reviewing (twice!^^) and again, sorry for the late responses - the following chapters are up by now if you're still interested ;)

Cheers!
Iellwen (Gee)


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Review #2, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingSweet Madness: Cauldrons and Cheese

16th March 2014:
Hey there!

So, I can't resist a marauders fic!

I liked the start of this... what exactly is Snape up to? This potion seems very like him but I can't help but wonder what password Snape is after! Poor Pettigrew, he got right in the middle of it there. He doesn't have much luck at all does he?

So this party sounds like it's going to be interesting! Was Snape after the password to the party? The party would be wrecked if he turned up - I'm sure he would love to ruin a marauders party.

I thought your characterisation of the marauders was good, although they weren't perceptive enough to pick up that Peter wasn't himself! I hope that doesn't come back and haunt them later! Poor James too, I love that you got his love for Lily in there!

So this was a good first chapter and I'm definitely curious to see where you take it next! My one CC would be to be a little more explicit at times who is talking... it did get a little confusing at times! Great job though!

Lauren :)
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Author's Response: Hi Lauren!

This is my first time writing about the Marauders - I love it, they are such a fun group of friends!

Snape... is up to a lot and very little at the same time. He would really, really love to ruin that party... Oh, he really would. Hehehe.
The password he's looking for is actually for the party; the last step he needs to overcome to get it - I'll get to that in later chapters (more accurately, I think in chapter 6^^)

Yes, the marauders are really overlooking Peter's troubles, aren't they... More to that in later chapters (more accurately, chapter 5 will be about Pettigrew)... It will totally turn around and bite them in the hiney. Might even bite off a big chunk somewhere. Hehehe...
This party is going so wrong! :D

Thanks for your CC; I've added some dialog tags here and there now :D It really was getting confusing and that's no fun!

Thank you so much for reviewing (twice!) and my apologies for taking so long to respond!

And congrats to the Griffies for winning the Bingo! :D

Iellwen (Gee)


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Review #3, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingJames Potter and the Quidditch Case: The Partner

16th March 2014:
Hi again!

Ooh there was some twists and turns through this chapter!

So James thought process was great to try and work who would have sent the malaclaws, it would have been nice to know why he was so adamant it was Albus though... do the two of them not get on? Rose then seemed very helpful until James suspected Albus and was angry at him. Her rushing off was definitely odd.

When Albus and the team then got attacked by malaclaws I can't help but wonder if Rose is behind it? I have no idea why but it feels like it's Rose or someone we don't know about yet! Either way, I want to find out!

An interesting chapter again! It's left me with a lot of questions and wanting to know more! It's a shame that this is the last one posted... I would have carried on reading!

Lauren
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Author's Response: No, in this tale Al and James do not mesh well. Rose is an odd one isn't she ;)
I will eventually get to writing this chapter out! I have it all in my head, but the writing is gibberish. I am glad the chapter left you interested and not ready to throw your computer.
XOXOXO,
CAASSAAL


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Review #4, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingJames Potter and the Quidditch Case: The Malaclaw

16th March 2014:
Hi there!

So this was a really interesting chapter. I like next gen and you made good use of James here. It was also fun to see Fred involved as well as this Harry Wood... I'm going to guess he's Oliver Wood's son?

Your use of the malaclaw was brilliant... I'd not read up on that particular beast but I loved how you included it... so who is trying to sabbatage the Gryffindors? I only hope Fred really didn't get bit!

My one bit of advice would be to try and extend this with a tad more description... the dialogue was good but you could have given us more details... like the relief about not getting bit and maybe theories of who did this?

That being said, I really enjoyed this first chapter and I look forward to the second!

Lauren :)
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Author's Response: Hello FWISK, I am so sorry I am so very late on responding! Yes, Harry Wood is Oliver's child. I am glad you liked the malaclaw! The idea with it just sort of bit me ;) I am told to add more- but it would ruin the element of surprise and confusion! And the theories were saved for another chapter ;)
XOXOX,
CAASSAAL


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Review #5, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingThe Simplest of Words: Regrets

15th March 2014:
Hi again!

So another good chapter. I've read a few after-life stories and each one is unique but I did really like this. You had James to meet him which couldn't be more perfect and you also have Sirius needing to face up to some of his inner demons.

It's sad that Sirius and Regulus never had the chance to make up. I honestly want to believe that they were more similar than they first thought and had things been different they would have been closer. I think you did a good job of showing Sirius's guilt and regret here though, even though it isn't completely his fault.

I liked your characterisation of both James and Sirius in this. Nothing felt out of place at all, it was really natural to read.

I think you did a really great job of something that can't have been easy to write... you got a lot of emotion in this so great job!

Lauren :)
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Review #6, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingThe Simplest of Words: Prologue

15th March 2014:
Hi again Selene.

So when I saw something Sirius on your AP I definitely wanted to check it out and I'm so glad I did!

So, every review I've left you so far I've complimented you on your description and once again I have to! I love the detail you add to your stories and the words you use flow beautifully. It just makes your chapters so easy and lovely to read. The way you described Sirius dueling with Bella as a tango was great.

It was interesting reading this moment from Sirius's POV rather than Harry's, but also really gutting. When he sees his godson shouting for him my heart broke again because I felt so awful for Harry in that moment. The whole situation is just horrible.

You have left me with a question though... who should he have said 'I love you' too? I guess I can only read on to find out!

Again, brilliant chapter and I'm really excited there's a chapter two I can head over to read!

Lauren :)
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Review #7, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingFace for the Brave: Face for the Brave

15th March 2014:
Hi!

So I decided to check out another of your stories!

I loved this with all it's Gryffindor goodness! I love Neville and I think you did a great job of showing the change in him from the nervous and forgetful first year to the truly amazing and brave man he became.

Again, I commend your descriptions... I pictured the whole thing in my head and actually shivered at the description you used of Voldemorts red eyes and the deadly shadow that appeared there.I loved the lines you gave to Neville too, perfect!

I just noticed one tiny typo: "Where was he why you all fought against me so valiant and strong?" I think you mean while you all fought against me?

Anyway, this was a great one-shot! I really enjoyed it and it made me feel really proud of Neville!

Lauren :)
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Review #8, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingCreperum: Chapter One: Anguish

15th March 2014:
Hey!

So this first chapter was nothing what I expected but I really enjoyed it! I loved what you did here... at first I thought we were back in a founder era fic but quickly caught on that they were spirits of some description.

I thought the idea that Rebecca could physically feel pain when something happened to one of her descendents. I think it truly shows how strong a mothers love can be, something we already knew from the the books of course.

I also wanted to say your descriptions were fantastic in this... I could picture the whole thing from start to finish so great job there. The heartbreak when they reached the wreckage was so sad, I just felt gutted about their death once again so yeah. Lots of feels.

So, my only complaint? There's only one chapter! I can't wait for you to update - I hope you do soon! This was brilliant!

Lauren :)
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Review #9, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingImpossible: Impossible

15th March 2014:
Hey there,

So I thought I'd come back and check out some more of your work! I will say I'm all Lily/James but I did really enjoy this, I thought you got Snape's POV over brilliantly so well done you!

The song you picked worked really well for this story - the lyrics were great. I do really like this song too!

Poor Sev - I did feel really sorry for him to be honest. I mean, it was his fault for saying the word that drove her away but people do make mistakes and you brought that point home.

Can I also say your description in this was beautiful! You did an amazing job, particularly at the beginning when you were describing her hair like fire... it was really visual so great job - I loved it!

I really enjoyed this and didn't notice any mistakes so great job! Well done!

Lauren :)
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Author's Response: Hi again :)
Yay, I'm so glad! Thank you for your comments, they really bring a smile to my face. The song haunts me for days when it gets into my head, so it's nice to hear that you like it too. I love Severus. He is just such a sad and lonely character who my heart breaks for. Aww, thank you. It's lovely to hear that. And I really appreciate your time!
Chazzie


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Review #10, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingObliviate: Decisions

15th March 2014:
Hi there!

So I came and had a look at your AP and this immediately drew me in. I must say that I was surprised to read this was your first fanfic, you did such an amazing job! Well done!

So first off, your characterisation of Hermione was great. You didn't overdo her but you captured so many of the feelings that she must have been having... how she could do that to her parents, even to keep them safe. It's just heartbreaking for her. She was so strong!

I really liked the next bit you added. I can believe that her parents would have moved on and perhaps got another child... it seemed she was magical too though? What are the chances of that huh? I really liked it though!

My only CC would be that I would love to read more... the reactions Hermione's mum has to having her actual daughter back, how does Kenzie take it? Even how her dad may fit into the equation. I just enjoyed what you wrote and would like more haha!

Great job anyway, this was a really well written one-shot!

Lauren :)
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Author's Response: Hey Lauren! Thank you for such a glowing review! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yes, Kenzie is a magical child too ;) I felt that even with the altered memories, Hermione's parents would feel a slight emptiness from the loss of her presence and would subcontiously try to gain back this feeling of love and caring. Haha, if I have some free time I will try to write a companion piece for you! Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!
Chazzie


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Review #11, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingWarfare: 9 September, 2022

15th March 2014:
Here again :D Couldn't resist! I'm also a bit gutted this is the last chapter... I hope you update soon!

So... lots of this chapter left me with questions! Fred seems to be completely out of character, being mean and then walking off. There's definitely something going off there!

Also this prank! So this must be Penelope but how has it been mistaken for James? Is it just because James is usually behind this stuff? Also Neville seemed to be acting strange, although great appearance from him there!!

I really like James as a character, it's nice to not see him kissing every girl that batters an eyelash at him. He knows what he wants and he's waiting... again a refreshing change for him.

So, another great chapter... I'm really excited about this plot and where you take it! I can't wait for an update!

Lauren :)
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Review #12, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingWarfare: 7 September, 2022

15th March 2014:
Hi again.

So I really enjoyed this chapter too, we got to see more of Penelope and Chris's personality's in particular and I loved their dry humor. The conversation between them at the end was easy to read and very well written so well done to you!

I was wondering when Penelope and James would have their first encounter and I loved what you did here. So, not only was the meeting complete chance but it also meant that Penelope has even more of a reason to be annoyed at James and match his pranking skills which she clearly wants too... it's definitely going to be fun to see what happens Friday!

James did come across not very confident in this chapter... he was quite out of his depth with Penelope. I hope to see him stepping up to the challenge more as the story progresses! That being said though, I would have been majorly annoyed at him if he'd had ruined my work that way!

I can't wait to read more!

Lauren :)
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Review #13, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingWarfare: 1 September, 2022

15th March 2014:
Hey! Me again!

So I was excited to see this chapter was from James's POV... I like it when authors switch things up.

I immediately like that James isn't interested in the celeb side to his name it feels a lot more real that way. He's also not the big heart throb of the story which is a refreshing change... I look forward to seeing what you do with that. Also, big shout out for Fred Weasley! I hope he's as every bit lovely as his name sake. I'm also very excited that Raph is Oliver Wood's son! I love Oliver so I can't wait to see more Raph.

Their plans are big, I love them. James and Fred are both willing to follow in the footsteps of their name sakes... excellent. I can't wait to see what mischief they get up to!

I also love that you managed to get the bit with the spider prank in there, it made the whole story gel really nicely. I can't wait for more!

Great job!

Lauren :)
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Review #14, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingWarfare: 1 September, 2022

15th March 2014:
Hey there!

I really enjoyed this first chapter! You did a great job of introducing your characters... all of them have a clear voice and personality which isn't easy to pull off so well done. You've also set the scene well so I'm excited to see what you come up with for Penelope's big plan! She's a good character and I like the way she thinks.

I am curious to her background though, it appears she's having a tough time at home... I get the feeling this will come up more though. The hints you gave us were good though, you didn't bombard us with information which was nicely done.

I like all the boys but Simon was so cute with his cookie butter... that sounds yummy!

James's prank sounds horrible - I hate spiders so I would absolutely hate that prank! It does sounds like he needs a new idea though!

So overall I really enjoyed this, it was interesting and well written. I can't wait to read more. Great job!

Lauren
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Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for the review, and sorry it's so late. I've been busy :(

I'm really glad that you liked the way I introduced my characters, and that you like them as well! And cookie butter is the BEST.

Thank you again for reviewing! :)


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Review #15, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingEmpty: I

14th March 2014:
Hi!

So I saw Rose and Scorp on your AP and it immediately caught my attention!

I liked the way you started this... it wasn't all anger and a shouty match which can get really old but we have Scorpius just starting to admit his feelings for Rose. You've also hinted something has happened in Rose which I'm curious about...

Their exchange in the bathroom did make me smile. Scorpius definitely seems a tad big headed, just because he was letting the girl down to show Rose he was her, he was very a bit mean about it. I wonder if he will mature through the story.

But who was Rose kissing and what has Scorp agreed too? I look forward to reading more! You set the scene well in this chapter!

Lauren :)
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Review #16, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingMaking Memories: The WCPS Has A Say

14th March 2014:
Hey!

So I'm gutted this is the last chapter I can review but I can always come back another time :)

I would love to know the French phrases that Teddy tried out hahahaha!

Hmm... I don't know what to make of the WCPS... obviously she's just doing her job but Vic has taken a lot of care. It's a tricky situation and obviously they need to make sure Gwyneth is okay. I'm intrigued to where you will take this.

And then you gave us more Teddy and Vic fluff. I love it! More of that please!

Quick typos for you, you put "little angle" instead of "little angel" and "Hofwarts" instead of "Hogwarts"

A few times in this during the story you've gone into present tense which can be a little jarring to read... for example "A few of the potions have been taken away, but she still has not woken up." This should be "A few of the potions had been taken away, but she still hadn't woken up" That is just one example so it might be worth having another quick read through to just fix them up :)

Another great chapter though hun, I've really enjoyed this story so far... you'll be updating this soon right ;) I'll eagerly be awaiting. Seriously though, great characterisation, dialogue and description! Great job!

Lauren :)
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Author's Response: I'm so sorry that the sixth chapter is taking forever to write! I promise that it is, like, half way there, but it's just being a super pain in the brain to write!

Haha, let's just say that he tried some pickup lines once ;).

You're only a chapter away! ;)

Yay! And there will totally be more! :D It's a Vic/Teddy fic of course! ;)

Angle is the angle of a desk, angel is like angelic behavior and the likes ;). As for Hofwarts, I knew that typo was in there, but once I passed it, I couldn't find it anywhere! I forgot what the typo was when I was done xD. Thanks for pointing it out! I'll fix that right up!

My biggest flaw! :( Thank you for the pointer! :)

Soon hopefully! I feel so bad that it has taken so long! D: I seriously love you because you're just ;lak;jdoahd;fjda;lfja AMAZING! :D All the reviews make my day and I hope to not disappoint with the next chapter! :D (When it DOES come!)

~Mae


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Review #17, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingMaking Memories: The People Who Live In The World

14th March 2014:
Hey again, I'm back :)

Aww poor Emmaline! I can imagine at her young age going all the way to Paris would seem a disaster! At least Robert can come along. It's cute that she has an imaginary friend, Robert is an usual name for a young girl to pick though, I wonder if there is a reason for that?

I loved the almost fight between Vic and Teddy, it was natural for there to be a bit of tension but I'm glad you let them diffuse it easily. It felt really real and I know I've been in those situations more than once!

I do have one question... if Vic had to wait forty minutes for Van, was she too early or has she made herself really late for work? Just with her being so tired it seemed daft that she'd go in early but also a little odd that she would make herself do late... something to think about anyway.

Oh my goodness, the poor girl! That's so awful! I'm hoping she will have more to come in the story... at least so we can see if she gets better or not. I feel like we will find out more about her anyway.

Another great chapter though, I really enjoyed it. Your attention to detail and characterisation is great! I look forward to more!

Lauren :)
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Author's Response: There's not really a reason for the name other than I couldn't really think of one for the time ;). Though I'd imagine she'd heard it somewhere. Maybe it's the name of a kid at school?

Haha, I'm glad that worked out well. I was afraid I just sort of copped out of making a real fight because by the time I got to that part, I was a little tired already. So to hear you say it worked makes me happy! :)

Vic does what I did in high school. I'd wake up earlier so I can show up earlier. I'd hang out with friends, eat breakfast, have some time to myself. Since she loves work, it's also a chance for her to pick up on any cases that she can get her hands on if she wants them. :)

I know! Poor little one! It was another plot randomly thrown in, but I'm so glad I did! It's grown more into a story now and I love it! I'm glad you want to know more about her! :)

Thank you so so much (again!)! You're simply amazing! That's all there is to it! The absolute best! :3

~Mae


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Review #18, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingMaking Memories: The Ending of the Book

14th March 2014:
Hey,

Couldn't resist coming back again!

Again you have written another lovely chapter. It isn't full of action but that doesn't matter... It's given us the chance to get to know the family more and has moved the story on.

So when Victoire got sick, my immediate thought was she was pregnant. You did a good job of making us believe the just sick story though so now I'm not so sure... Hmm I guess I'll have to read on to find out!!

Oh again your Teddy is the sweetest thing ever. His and Vic's exchanges are so heart warming to read, it just makes me so happy! I loved he got protective over an imaginary friend and the comment about her only being Vic's daughter when she's naughty made me laugh too!

There are a few typos I noticed, so you wrote "Emmline" near the top instead of "Emmaline" for example but most of those could be sorted with a quick read through, nothing to worry about!

Like I said though, a great chapter and I look forward to reading more!

Lauren :)

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Author's Response: So I'm totally happy that you haven't gotten bored with it or anything! :D That makes me super excited! :D

To be quite honest with you, I wasn't planning on telling anyone what was/is wrong with her, but as I think more on the story, the more unsure even I am. :/ I feel like I may have made an accidental extra plot that I wanted to write at the time, but I'm not sure if I'm willing to write it out xD. Strange response, I know, but I'll figure it out soon, and then when I do, you will definitely read about it ;).

Haha, Teddy is probably my dad really. My dad makes the same jokes and says the same things. I love my dad (HUGE daddy's girl), and Teddy just reminds me of the gentle man that my dad is. :)

Thanks! I'll fix those soon! :)

Yay! Thank you so much for continuing on with the story and continuing to review! You're the best! :D

~Mae


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Review #19, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingMaking Memories: Somewhere, Everyone Goes Right

13th March 2014:
Hey again...

I couldn't resist coming back!!

Another great chapter! I have to say again that your writing is really effortless to read. I immediately get drawn in and don't look up until the chapter is finished.

I thought the idea of Victoire applying for the job in France was really cute and the fact she got it lovely. Her relationship with Van is really good to read and the fact they've got this position together is really lucky for the two of them. I'm sure if Vic does go they'll have a great time together.

The worry that Vic feels to how teddy will take the news was again well placed. Even though he was absolutely fine with it, who wouldn't panic and think the worst. I think you wrote that so well.

Now, oh my gosh! My heart was practically melting when Vic got to Hogwarts. Her and teddy together are the cutest thing ever. I've always been a massive fan of them and the way you write them together may just be the best I've seen. It was perfect.

So yeah, excellent job... I look forward to reading more!!

Lauren :)

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Author's Response: Yay! You've returned and decided to stay! :D

Aww! Thank you so much! Trust me, it's not so effortless in writing ;). I'm glad you love it so much though! I miss writing it, so there should be a chapter up soon! (Cross your fingers!)

I wanted to write something outside of my comfort zone. England I've been writing about for years, but never once France. It'll give me hopefully a fresh look to other places, so I hope it works out well for both Vic and me ;). I'm glad you like the idea though! I'm just as excited as you are! :D Ahhh! I LOVE Van! haha :D

Thanks! I originally had it that Teddy would like it but have to stay behind for school, but then I remembered it was practically summer. He HAD to go! :D haha. At least for the summer anyway. Though I want to show just how loving and gentle I think he really is, and I'm so happy that you love it! :)

:3 You make me blush! I'm so ecstatic here right now! You flatter me way too much ;). I'm honestly so pleased and excited that you've taken on to the relationship and situation and everything so well! :) I love the story and it's great to see it get the attention from the people who truly love this sort of thing! :)

Thank you so so much for being so amazing and coming back and reviewing and telling me just how much you love the story! I'm doing a little happy dance you're so awesome! :D

~Mae


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Review #20, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingMaking Memories: Some Personal Lives Can Do With A Little Bothering

13th March 2014:
Hey there!!

So I really love Teddy and Victoire so I knew I would love this and I really did!

So first things, I loved the comment about barely having time to shave her legs... Didn't sound familiar at all... The things we go through eh? Haha I also love their little girls name!! Emmaline is beautiful.

I really enjoyed reading the part in St Mungos, the whole thing felt very natural and you really went to town with some of the details. It's clear you've given a lot of thought to the tasks that they have to do. It made me smile that they were thinking if the patients as addicts and hypochondriacs - it made the whole thing feel more realistic because people always do that when they're in a job.

Louis was hilarious, I have to say. Bless him, worried about his personal life, I'm not surprised Victoire was laughing as well as cringing a little. It was nice to see their relationship though, they're obviously close.

Hmm the letter got my interest, you left it on a bit of a cliff hanger! Who is it from!!

This was a great first chapter! It felt so natural and I was really smiling at a lot of it. You did a great job, I look forward to reading more!!


Lauren :)

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Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for choosing this story to stop and read/review! :D It makes me so happy! :D

I love the pair, too! :) I never thought I'd actually write about them really, not in such a main sort of way, but I find myself loving it more than I ever thought I would! :)

Emmaline! :3 Such an adorable name! I like using baby names that I'd consider for my own kids someday haha xD. Also, I believe every woman can relate on the leg shaving ;).

Whoo! I wrote a realistic hospital scene! You have no idea how happy that makes me! :D Thank you so much! For years I've wanted to write a Scrubs-esque type fanfiction, but I've been so scared of the hospital type atmosphere, but I'm trying it a little bit with this one. It won't always be in the hospital, but I'm hoping that it'll fill that void of plot bunnies I had for years haha. :) Thank you sooo much for saying that though!

I love Louis! It's a little like my relationship with my brother, in a less intimate way in our personal lives. ;) We talk about gross things, personal things, and weird things all the time! haha :)

Yay! Interest! I'm succeeding! ;)

Yay! I'm glad you loved it! I hope you enjoy what is left of it if you decide to stay! :D

Thank you SO much for the read and review!

~Mae


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Review #21, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingI've Already Walked Away: I've Already Walked Away

2nd March 2014:
Hi there!

Here for the review battle!

This was a little dramatic! Poor Rose sounds like she has a really tough time with Scorp. It's so different from most of the Scorose you read.

I completely understand her not wanting him to see her cry, I know I don't like to be crying. I wonder though, if she did give him the chance would it work or are they doomed? There must have been something there for them to be together in the first place! You leave a lot to the imagination... have you ever considered writing a follow up piece?

That being said, I think this was really interesting and I would be interested about the poem that inspired you.

I also like the fact you had Rose call her mum not her dad - lets face it, Ron wouldn't have reacted calmly in this situation!

This was a good and interesting one shot! Well done :)

Lauren :)

Review 10 of 10

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Review #22, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingMolly smiles: Nothing's Wrong When Molly Smiles

2nd March 2014:
Hi there!

Here for the review battle!

Goodness me, please just give me a minute to recover from that ending! I thought this was so lovely and then you just teared it apart at the end. very dramatic so well done to you, even though it was really hard to read!

I loved the moments you picked here, Molly seems so lovely as a child and it's easy to see why everyone loves her so much. We only see snippets but it's clear she's very close to her parents and sisters so that was nice to see.

I would have liked to have known what happened to her in one sense... the story seems to end so abruptly. I guess that is kind of the point though as Molly's life ended too early. I still enjoyed it regardless.

Well done on an awesome oneshot! We totally don't see enough Molly in fanfic!

Lauren :)

Review 9 of 10

Author's Response: I am so glad I tore you apart. It is the sadistic part of the Slytherin me I guess... I was going to put how she died but I held back because I think Percy would have been even more upset because originally I was going to put it as suicide. Then I thought that was wayyy too much... I agree we do not see enough of Molly at all. I am really glad you enjoyed this one-shot... And guuurl! Nine out of 10?!?!! I still need to let that soak in since that was a first...
XOXOXOXOXOX,
LLG


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Review #23, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingThis is not a Drapple: Chapter One

2nd March 2014:
Hi there!

Here for the review battle!

This might just be one of the most random stories I've ever read on the archives but it made me laugh so much. Even the title made me laugh.

I love how you made the girl so similar to an apple, even Draco wanting her name to be Apple. Her red hair and curves. I was honestly giggling so much!

I also loved the comments about how different Draco was. You also mentioned a bushy haired brunette making him give up his anti-muggleborn feelings... I'm guessing that was a bit of a reference to Dramonie? cleverly done there.

"And who was he to question a plot hole" I was laughing so much at this!

Taking this as it is I couldn't stop laughing and you did a great job of giving us a little drapple story :)

Lauren :)

Review 8 of 10

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Review #24, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingDeepest Desire: The Mirror of Erised

2nd March 2014:
Hi there!

Here for the review battle!

Wow, this was a rather chilling piece wasn't it! This was a much darker world than the one we know from the books! There's so much happened!

I think it's really interesting how you've changed one little detail and it's created a butterfly effect into this world that's so different. It's clear you've though carefully about the consequences so kudos to you!

I thought you did a good job of Ginny. She's such a strong person usually but she's completely lost everyone here so it's completely understandable that she would be so willing to have it all over, as horrible a notion as that is.

One comment I would make is to ask why the formatting is as it is? Was it intentional? It didn't feel it. I know the editor can be a pain sometimes so it might be worth trying to fix that if it wasn't intentional and you get the chance!

Anyway, that doesn't take anything away from your excellent writing here! Well done! I really enjoyed this!

Lauren :)

Review 7 of 10

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Review #25, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingEvery Song Must End: Bitter...

2nd March 2014:
Hi there!

Here for the review battle!

So this was really unusual... I haven't read anything like it at all. I really enjoyed it though so well done to you!

I realised early on it was Draco you were writing about and I think you did an excellent job of catching his pain, something we really get to see. He really doesn't have an easy time and has to witness and take part in a lot of atrocities and you did a good job of capturing how that effects him!

When the girl came in I was really hoping it was Astoria so I was pleased when it was at the end. I like how you've left a lot of this up to our imagination but gave us hope that Draco would be better now with Astoria.

Great job on an interesting one-shot! I really enjoyed it!

Lauren :)
Review 6 of 10

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it even though it was a little weird. My usual style is nothing like this at all, but it was still wonderful to write.

Ah! I'm glad that you figured out it was Draco! It wasn't meant to be a big secret, but by not mentioning his name in the beginning I might have caused some confusion.

I'm a hardcore Drastoria shipper - it couldn't be anyone else :P

Thanks so much for the review!


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