Reading Reviews From Member: FredWeasleyIsMyKing
  
335 Reviews Found

Review #1, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingThe Perfect Present: The Perfect Present

20th June 2015:
Hi,

Here for House Cup 2015 Gryffindor, Amazing Race Part 2.

So I saw Cedric on your AP and couldn't resist. I really like Cedric and I was so gutted that he wasn't in the books for long. I'm love it when authors write about him.

And this was so cute! I loved the little tidbits at the start - him leaving his christmas shopping until last minute and making sure he had everything gift wrapped. I also loved his internal debate over whether to get Cho a gift or not. I think all teenagers go through this kind of thing when dating so it made me smile to read.

The gift he finally picks though is really cute. I like the Quidditch theme and of course the tornadoes. As he thinks, it seems like the perfect gift.

I'm really glad I stopped by here, this was really lovely and put a smile on my face!

Lauren

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Review #2, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingFeel Again: Feel Again

20th June 2015:
Hey

I'm here for the House Cup 2015 Gryffindor, Amazing Race Part 2.

So, I really wasn't sure what to expect when I started reading this. Immediately I could tell James had some Quidditch accident - a horrific one too with the sounds. With the not moving etc. I feel like it's probably some kind of spine injury but I guess that's not important here.

You described the pain and how quickly everything happened really well, I was instantly caught up and I really wanted James to be okay. The sign of not being able to move his toes though doesn't look good.

As I said at the start, I really didn't know what to expect from this but since reading the summary again it all makes sense. I thought we would find out more about James but instead you focused on all the houses joining together and wishing him well. This was especially more poignant as he was just feeling so low and humiliated as he made his way through the crowd but then everyone applauds him. It honestly felt like such a wonderful moment and really great for house unity - great job!

I can't believe you wrote this in the short time you did and in the early hours of the morning - you'd never know it to read it!

Lauren

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Review #3, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingLithium: Lithium

20th June 2015:
Hi,

Here for House Cup 2015 Gryffindor, Amazing Race Part 2.

Okay... completely mixed feelings here. James and Lily are my OTP so to read James acting this way really saddens me and like you said at the start, I could never ever believe this happened. However, I was really intrigued by the idea and thought you wrote it really really well!

The guilt James feels at the start and the way he wrestles with himself to finally stop using the love potion was more like the James I know. It was sad that he'd sunk so low though.

And when Lily realises what he's been doing the last five years... well. She reacted better than I think people could have expected her to but when Voldemort comes in, her feelings for Harry and even James to an extent are truly revealed.

One thing I did find interesting though was the similarities and differences between Harry and Voldemort in this version of events. Both conceived under a love potion but (if the book events are still true) Harry is still capable of love and Voldemort isn't - even though they both loose their parents. Is that because deep down Lily did love James a bit maybe? I'm not sure but I thought it was interesting anyway.

I thought the lyrics worked well in this and like I said, I thought this was a really interesting chapter and really well written!

Lauren

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Review #4, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing(Sometimes) Love: Just Ain't Enough

20th June 2015:
Hey!

Here for House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor, Amazing Race part 2.

Wow. So much sadness in this... I'm not sure where to start. I adore Tonks and Remus and I'm always sad when I read about them - particularly these moments.

I think the first section was totally believeable. The argument and them both saying things they don't mean, or interpretting the others actions wrong. It's just a complete mix up and mistakes and that's so sad.

I don't blame Tonks feeling second best - especially with all the hormones and emotions running high. It's completely what my reaction would have been too. She also still feels guilty about Sirius clearly and mistakes Remus's hesitation as him blaming her too. And Remus! I wanted to shake him so bad in this! You got his character absolutely spot on not believing he is good enough to fight for Tonks. I always wish he would see himself as we all saw him. But anyway, spot on with his character.

You also did a wonderful job of capturing the disarray and horror of the battle while still focusing on Tonks and Remus. Tonks' desperation to find Remus was clear and I really wanted her to find him before he died. I would have been gutted if they couldn't take back their fight. It was just a look but that's all they needed. I'm glad they got that, it's better than nothing. My heart still completely broke when they got hit by the killing curses. It brought back the sadness of their deaths.

You mentioned in your AN feeling this was rusty - I don't think it was at all. This was amazingly well written! You did an awesome job!

Lauren

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Review #5, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingMy Little Girl: My Little Girl

20th June 2015:
Hey!

I'm here for the House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor. Amazing race part 2. I was browsing and this caught my eye.

Um, this was so cute and heart warming to read! You really wrote the father daughter relationship well and the love Bill feels for Victoire is so evident. It really worked well with the lyrics too.

I loved that you gave us a glimpse of the past and how things were when they Vic was young. Her personality was very much how I see her to be in my head canon so that was nice for me. The moments you picked were great though and you got across so much with each one.

I loved the thoughts of Bill with regards to Teddy. He knows he's well suited to his daughter and he'd rather no one else marry her but he still has to check she wants to do it and still had the protectiveness a father should have. The bit about the Beaters bat particularly made me smile. I could just imagine Bill doing that if the occasion called for it.

Overall this was just so lovely to read and I'm so glad I found it. Your descriptions were lovely throughout and it was so inline with my head canon it was uncanny! Great job!

Lauren

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Review #6, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingclipped wings: the quickening.

20th June 2015:
Sian!

I'm back again for the House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor. Amazing race part 2. You updated just in time.

Aww Hepzibah isn't dealing with this well is she? My heart breaks for her - having your heart broken is so sad and painful and she was so swept away she never saw it coming. It's so awful.

Of course this isn't helped by the vicious rumours or her parents! Their reaction really angered me. It was so horrible to read how she was being treated. I wasn't surprised though - again it's part of that society isn't it?

Oh man - she's pregnant. I should have seen that coming. The secret she managed to keep is going to come out now. I feel so sorry for her, I feel like she's going to run away or something. I just hope it works out for her in the end...

As it worked last time, I hope you update soon as I want to read more!!

Lauren

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Review #7, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingclipped wings: the rejection.

20th June 2015:
Sian!

I'm back again for the House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor. Amazing race part 2.

Ahh I knew it. I knew this would happen but to read it - especially the ending was brutal. God my heart broke for Hepzibah. That was just cruel.

From the start the outlook didn't look great for her - the silence from him, the doubt in her mind. Questioning him. Her mother and father asking about him. But at the dance when he called her. Just ouch. It's a cruel society to be apart of and Hepzibah got caught up way too quickly. You've really captured that in these chapters which makes his suck wonderful reading, although sad.

You haven't got anymore chapters for me to enjoy at the moment but the story isn't marked complete so I hope there's more and that thinks start to look up for Hepzibah, although I'm not sure what will happen from here.

Lauren

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Review #8, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingclipped wings: the fall.

20th June 2015:
Sian!

I'm back again for the House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor. Amazing race part 2.

Hmm. I feel bad choice are being made here.

First I'll talk about the way you've described first loves and stolen moments together. I just think it's perfect. Each moment together and the thrill of finding two minutes alone to steal a kiss etc. I found myself living the story and willing them to have the chance together so great job on that.

Now, I completely understand what's happening next. When you're young and in love it's natural but i can't help but feel in this society she's going to now come across as damaged/used goods or whatever. Which is completely wrong of course. It just seems to me that's what's going to happen. I guess I'll have to see.

Can I just say, the heart and soul quote made me totally think of Become Jane and James McAvoy and made me so so happy!! Eek!! Thank you for using that, I'm in such a good mood now hahaha!!

Another wonderful chapter my dear, I'm nervous but excited to see what the next chapter holds.

Lauren

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Review #9, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingclipped wings: the passion.

20th June 2015:
Sian!

I'm back again for the House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor. Amazing race part 2.

Once again I'm blown away with how much you say in so few a words. The descriptions throughout are honestly delightful and I watch the whole thing play out in my mind

Seventeen. Hmm maybe it's the cynic in me but I think it's a bit young to be in love. Hepzibah seems blown away by the attention and the clear good looks of Edmund but at this stage I think it's more likely to be a strong crush that could turn to love. Maybe I'm wrong. I still like Hepzibahs innocent nature and how naive she seems, but I feel like his might be the undoing of her.

I'm a bit concerned as to what these rumours are that she's ignoring - I hope they're not bad. For some reason I get the feeling Edmund maybe seeing other people but I'm probably completely wrong.

Another amazing chapter my dear, I can't wait to read on! Your descriptions really set this piece apart. They're wonderful.

Lauren

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Review #10, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingclipped wings: the meeting.

20th June 2015:
Sian!

I'm here for the House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor. Amazing race part 2.

Okay, can you please explain to me how you write something so amazing in such few words? 500 words and I didn't once feel like you lacked any description or anything. You've also managed to convey so much with one line of dialogue. I'm seriously in awe my friend!

I'm instantly intrigued into this story. The title makes me feel this match is going to be smooth so I can't wait to read on and see what you have in store. I hope we learn more about Hepzibah and Edmund. From what I can gather, Hepzibah seems close to her family and once to make them proud. I liked her girlish nature though and how amusing she found the social etiquette around her. As for Edmund, he kinda seemed like every girls dream here but I'm almost sure there will be more to the story...

Anyway, great job my dear, I can't wait to read on!

Lauren

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Review #11, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingA white, white world.: A gurgle of clarity.

12th June 2015:
Hey again.

Here for the House Cup 2015 - gryffindor!

Oh Kiana! This made me so sad and so happy at the same time. Alice and Frank... I always get sad reading about them and what happened. And even though you stuck to canon and didn't make them better or anything, there's like a hopeful tone in this story. Alice is confused and doesn't know who she is or what happened to her, but Franks next to her and makes her smile and she dreams of Neville until Augusta finally brings him to see them. The whole thing was just so sweet and it brought a tear to my eye. Especially the bit where Augusta talks to Alice... I like how you had Alice see a softer side to her, and showed how much she loves Neville too. The bit where she wonders if she should have come sooner was especially heart wrenching - despite what she thinks I'm certain it wouldn't have made any difference.

Again, I have to compliment you on your writing. The way you make words flow so beautifully is really an art form and it makes reading anything you write just a joy. I like the focus on colours too as Alice doesn't really know what's happening... The White of the hospital, blue of the healers and red and green of christmas.

As always, a wonderful job. I really need to stop by here more often &hearts

Lauren

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Review #12, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingle ciel saigne pour nous. : la lune et l’étoile.

11th June 2015:
Hey Kiana!

House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor!

Okay I'll start by wow. The writing in this is truly truly beautiful okay? The words just all fit so well together and flow so well and I just read the whole thing so easily you know? It was almost poetic. And the descriptions! I love them... I could just picture everything, every detail. It really is a stunning piece of work overall.

So Scorpius and Victoire... a pairing I've never read before... I'm completely a Teddy/Vic and Rose/Scorp shipper but I liked this still which I can't always say about pairings that aren't my head canon. I felt sorry for Scorpius, at the start he's so desperate for her love but Vic seems dreamy and not with him at all. The more she puts it off though the more he becomes the far away one until she loses him. Cleverly done.

I adored the French you used through out this, infact, it was the title that drew me in to start with.

Absolutely fantastic job with this - I honestly adored the whole thing!

Lauren

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Review #13, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingThe Last Goodbye: Farewell

1st June 2015:
Hi Lizzie!

Just got here in time!

Well considering this was written for an angst challenge you certainly delivered!! My poor poor feels!

Harry was very in character here, you portrayed him brilliantly. We see time and again in the books him blaming himself for things and so when you went through a few of the people he'd lost... That's was the hardest bit for me. It was just heartbreaking to remember all the people harry has lost.

Throughout this piece the descriptions are beautiful. You get through the majority of the piece with no dialogue whatsoever so well played there. I followed the whole story easily and pictured it all so kudos to you on that.

I'm glad harry decides not to let them go in the end. It feels to me like he seems to forgive himself a little bit which is good but realises they will all be with him forever and so he can't say goodbye forever. I think that's the perfect end.

Great job anyway! I thought you writing was really beautiful in this!

Lauren

Author's Response: Lauren!!

YAY! I get really nervous about writing/posting angsty stories, and it makes me feel way better that you said that! I'm SO glad that you liked it!

Writing those little bits about each of the people that Harry lost was easily the hardest part of this. I made myself cry multiple times. When I wrote about Hedwig, I just had to stop. *sniffles*

I've always figured that Harry wouldn't ever really forgive himself. But I think that by the time the epilogue of the books rolls around, he's managed to handle the guilt. It just never really goes away. So I tried to imagine the first time that he tries to forgive himself for it all - because I'd imagine there would be loads of people telling him that it wasn't his fault, and that he shouldn't feel guilty, and that he'd eventually want to get rid of it all because it hurts so much.

This one-shot would really be the moment that he realized that it'd never go away, that he'd never forgive himself, and that was okay.

Thanks so much for R&R'ing Lauren! You're amazing!!
LL


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Review #14, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingAn Inconvenient Repercussion: Chapter 1

31st May 2015:
Hi Kaitlin!

Just got here in time! Sorry I'm always so last minute...

Well from your opening disclaimer I knew this wasn't going to be an easy read...

I find myself once again completely torn by one of your pieces. It's so amazingly written and there's so much I could rave about (which I'm coming to) but at the same time I hated everything Blaise went through. I can't imagine living a life like that but it absolutely broke my heart to think someone could treat a child this way. It's terrible and you dealt with the topic so well.

The way the story was told was excellent. I loved your explanation at the end though. I can really see it that he's explaining to whoever what happened and why he killed her. The whole thing feels detached and shows just how much he is detached from his life with his mum and in a way that got to me most of all. He's murdered his mother and he's so calm. It's a bit unnerving to be honest!

An inconvenient repercussion. I thought that was a clever title and opening. It's a horrible thought of course, but clever phrasing and really hit home the point of the story.

Excellent writing though Kaitlin. I couldn't fault this at all. I love reading your work so much! Good luck with the challenge!!

Lauren

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Review #15, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingAfter: One.

31st May 2015:
Hi Dee!

Just got here in time!

I'm so glad I paired us together. This was just, wow. I've never read anything about Amos Diggory before this just left me breathless. It's so sad and heartfelt all the way through.

I wouldn't even want to imagine loosing a child - it's something I can't imagine. But your writing was unbelievable here. I felt his pain and my heart just broke for him with every sentence.

I liked the way you took us backward, closer to the point when Cedric died. You also took us full circle with the time healing pain comment. Trouble is six months down the line isn't particularly long and all I can hope is that he eventually found peace.

There's so much I could say about this - although sad I thought the fact Amos and his wife had split up was something that would unfortunately be probable. Something so big like this when it effects you so deeply is hard to come back from. I was also gutted that Amos seemed to blame himself for encouraging Cedric to enter although again I know it would probably be true.

So... Yeah your writing was beautiful in this Dee seriously. I was blown away but it also left me so sad. You know you've found a great story when it stays with you so much.

Lauren

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Review #16, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingBunny Slippers: The Longbottom Family

4th May 2015:
Hi Kaitlin!

I'm finally here, I'm so so so so sorry for how long it took me again.

Just give me a minute to piece together my feels. Man that was such a hard read.

I loved the opening scene. It was so cute and just lovely to read a happy family scene. If only I could have stopped there and pretended the Longbottom's live that way forever. I've never read the idea of them having an older son before - I thought that was a really good idea, I really liked it! Well until I realised what was going to happen I did anyway. I took to Benjamin straight away, he was really cute.

The descriptions were great. The whole scene played out in my head for me to watch. The little boy setting the table and Alice cooking the dinner in her bunny slippers - nice use of prompts by the way. The thought of dinner kind of made me hungry!

I knew the scene was going to be too good to last. I'm struggling to find the words - what you wrote was very well written, I could see everything happening and your charactisation was great - Bellatrix in particular with her manic love of causing pain. I think the mothers instinct and love you had from Alice was also spot on. The little scene with Benjamin broke my heart. He was so brave and clearly a very skilled and clever little boy, he would have clearly been great if given the chance. I thought it was also clever of you to use that moment to signify the end of Franks sanity. I think a moment like that would have easily been too much for him to handle. Alice on the other hand hears Neville and fights for him showing once again a mothers love.

I was also left wondering who there secret keeper was...?

One bit of CC for you is that you use "anyways" when it should be "anyway". Nothing huge, i just thought I'd point it out.

So overall, very well written chapter. You have a great grasp on characterisation and playing the scene out for the reader. I can't say I like the content of the story, but you know you've written it well when you've broken my heart so much. I hope you understand my mix of emotions when I say that!

I'll be back for more soon!

Lauren

Author's Response: Hi Lauren,

Thank you so much for such a lovely review!

I'm sorry that this was a tough read for you. I know it's a tough subject.

It was so hard to kill off Benjamin and destroy the happy Longbottom dinner. I really wanted them to have a happily ever after, but it seemed that it just wasn't in their cards.

I'm glad the scene set up worked well for you.

Characterization is always a major concern of mine, particularly when dealing with a well known character like Bellatrix. It's a relief to hear that you think I portrayed them all accurately.

Thanks for pointing out the "anyways". It's a bad habit from my American English as we always say "anyways". I will fix it on re-edit for sure.

I do understand what you mean about the emotions. I felt that way writing it.

Thank you for stopping by to read this!

~Kaitlin


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Review #17, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingDating Hannah : Liquid Courage

4th May 2015:
Hi Deeds!

I'm finally here, I'm so so so so sorry for how long it took me again.

This chapter. Well, it was hilarious. I was literally laughing all the way through. Just the thought of the Gryffindor boys all meeting up regularly and getting drunk is brilliant but also so lovely because they can finally do something normal! There isn't a war and they aren't being threatened and they can just act like normal guys. Yes. This is how things should have been.

Ron not really being all that sober himself but trying to get Harry to sober up before going back to Ginny also made me laugh! But so many bits made me laugh - I want to quote most of the drunken scene back to you. The spiders! Oh and "You search for Horcruxes with him one time and he just latches on" I was literally crying with laughter.

I'm totally a Neville/Hannah shipper anyway so it made me happy that this was about them too. Neville was so god damn cute in this! Literally I just wanted to hug him. But you should never listen to advice from Ron Weasley. I dread to think what the final letter actually said - drunk message writing never quite works as you want it to! Clearly Hannah saw something in it though, I was really excited when Neville got the letter back at the end!

I also liked the bit you did with Augusta. It was really sweet the way she was with Neville - even is she was annoyed at the drunkenness.

Overall, your writing is a joy to read. You clearly have a gift with writing humor because this whole chapter was full of it. I also thought, despite the drunkenness, you still kept the characters well. Such as Ron giving love advice and stuff. Well played.

I'll pop over to the second chapter soon! I'm really happy I paired us up! This was great!

Lauren

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Review #18, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingOut of the Darkness: Into the Sun

19th April 2015:
Alishya!

I'm so so so so sorry about how terribly late this is, please forgive me!!

Eugh Alishya!! My feels. They're all broken. Why are you doing this to me?!? *sobs*

Okay. Breathe. I'll try and be coherent.

The beginning was really cute. Harry liked the snitch! Nice touch! I also love the idea of James starting him on Quidditch young haha.

But Lily. Oh my heart breaks. She's 21 with a baby - that should be enough to deal with. But no. She has a war she's fighting in and her son's targeted by the leader of the other side. How she's holding it together I can only guess.

Then her words to him. Man. It's almost like she knows here. Maybe a mothers instinct? She knows she and James aren't going to make it but Harry will. He's the saviour of the wizarding world after all. But all those moments she mentions. It makes it all the more heartbreaking just knowing that he will be alone in those moments. I can't deal.

You have such a way of creating these one shots that really stamp on our feels! In the sense that your writing is excellent in them I mean. To make us feel so awful about what's happening.

Amazing one shot m'dear. You're writing is really improving with each new one shot I read of yours! Great job!

Lauren

Author's Response: Lauren!

No worries, no worries!


Oohh *hugs you and pats on the back* don't cry.


Sweet! Thanks! I love when I wrote that scene too. Yeah - James teaching Harry about Quidditch is like our head canon. :D


Yeah... when I wrote those words for Lily to say to Harry... I always got that feeling she knew things would end tragically for them from Snape's Memory scene in DH part II - when Lily told Harry to be strong. It's partially of what inspired me to write something like this.


Awww... thank you! So sweet! It's great that you said that... for I feel like I suck with words.


Thank you Lauren! Oh thank you! I hope to continue to improve my writing. ^_^


I appreciate you finding the time to read and review this! ♥



- Asphodel


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Review #19, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingHarry Potter and the First Mission: Eighteenth Birthday and Independence

17th April 2015:
Hi Kenny!

I'm here for CTF round 8! Jailbreaking deeds.

I think this is a really interesting take on life after the war which can't have been easy for anyone. It was nice to see so many characters and find out snippets of what they're doing!

One thing I think you've done well here is characterisation and they way your characters speak. Hagrid in particular who's accent is so hard was really well done! I also thought your take on Ron was great.

I thought it was sweet Hagrid brought harry a new owl because Hedwig had died *cries* I think George seemed to be doing incredibly well considering Fred had only recently died. While it would be lovely if this was the case, personally I always think he'd struggle a lot more in the beginning. He not only lost a brother but his twin. Just my opinion anyway.

I thought it was very different that andromeda and teddy are coming to live with harry. I very much expected Ron to, but i guess having andromeda and teddy will be like having a real family at home for harry so that will be nice for him.

You have a few spelling and grammar mistakes but considering english isn't your first language, you've done an amazing job of editing this. I can see a few people have previously pointed out the errors for you to fix though so I won't repeat what they've already told you.

All in all, a great job!
Lauren

Author's Response: Hi, Lauren.

I'm so excited to have review from Prefect. :)

Talking of Twins, I admit I'm no good at writing about them. I've read lots of stories the other authors worte about George's lament the death of Fred, so inside me, the story was completed by other authors, so I didn't feel it was necessary to write more here. But with your opinion, I may reconsider this before sending draft to my beta reader.

As you says, there're other options to write where Harry will live during his Auror training before his marriage: the Burrow, Muggle flat..etc. But you know, I chose the Grimmauld Place with Andromeda and Teddy. For Teddy, it seemed natural for them, and Harry inherited Sirius's property.


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Review #20, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingForget Me Not: bloom and wither

13th April 2015:
Hey Adi :)

CTF Round 6/7 Attack post

So this is an Adi story, I'm preparing for some heavy emotion here. You start by lowering a body into the ground - this is not going to be good is it? I'm immediately thinking Rose purely because it's a Scorose I believe and it seems the most logical.

I must admit the first section had me a little confused... I had so many questions!! Was it a chance meeting between the two or planned? The two clearly dated and were in love but now they aren't but it seems Scorpius seems to still have feelings but Rose is indifferent. Why has she gone through to have such differences in her appearance? You answered a few, the last line gave away she's married but not happily so, I can't help but wonder who he is. You also confirmed my suspicions on Scorp still having feelings - she wanted to know if he'd come and he did. There has to be something there. I'm all very curious now though.

We're then rewinding back and the scene with Albus was cute. I loved their easy dialogue, it was lovely to read and flowed really well. But then we have another scene with Rose and I was really shocked they were engaged and she just called it off. This is unlike any Scorose I've read! My heart went out to poor Scorp, that was so harsh! What a cow. I still want to know who this mysterious fiance is!

Woah. So still don't know who her husband is but even though Rose is being horribly selfish with Scorpius and just plain using him, I do feel a little bit for her now. I just wish she would realise that she doesn't have to put up with it and go back to her family. I can't decide if she's scared though or if she likes the other stuff her husband provides and accepts the beatings because of it.

A name. Henry. I'm racking my brains but I'm thinking this is just an OC? Please correct me if I'm wrong. But oh he's so horrible and Scorpius is just the sweetest. Gah I can't deal. The dancing in the living room even though she's sick is so cute. Can I have a Scorpius like this please?

Oh dear... baby boy that looks like Scorpius... I'm literally screaming at her to leave him but it's clearly not going to happen. She doesn't seem happy so what's keeping her? The money... I'm sop angry at how selfish she is! Scorp isn't angry enough... I'll get angry for him. Al makes me laugh when he talks about her. I also think your gum analogy is clever - I just don't like Scorp being the gum.

Oh my god the ending Adi! I did not expect that. Wow. I can't believe - their son... I guess I should have seen it coming. He beat Rose, why wouldn't he a child that wasn't his. But for her to beg Scorpius to kill her and then he wipes his own memories... just wow. I'm speechless. I love how that tied back to the beginning though. I just thought that was a cute bit of Al and Scorp but no. Very clever miss. And the ending where he doesn't remember her but the familiarity. And it makes the opening paragraph make so much more sense. Wow.

Again, in this your descriptions and word choices are you're forte. I love reading your stories just to see how you weave the words together, you really make it an art form my dear. I can't compliment you enough.

My one criticism is that you change how you present the date and I would personally think it would work better if they were the same. Just my two pence though :)

Amazing one shot my dear!

Lauren

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Review #21, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingEvent Three- Aperture: Focus and Exposure

13th April 2015:
Hey again Adi!

I'm here for CTF, jail breaking.

How have I not read this before? I have no idea. Anyway I've read a few Dennis stories and I really like them. This one is awfully sad but I like that you put the focus on him. Romilda on the other hand I've never read about but it was a nice change.

Again I have to commend you for your beautiful descriptions, particularly surrounding the camera and the details of taking the photographs. It was all done wonderfully and you really brought it all back at the end.

I thought this was a lovely idea, despite the horrible background. Two lost souls drunk and meeting. I was really heartbroken when I read Dennis was going to jump. but I'm so happy he's found something that means he's changed his mind. It gives me hope for the two of them.

Also, your toasts were brilliant.

Beautiful oneshot Adi, you writing is really amazing my dear!

Lauren

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Review #22, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingthe earth and the sky: the earth and the sky

12th April 2015:
Hey Adi!

I'm here for CTF Round 6/7 with the honour of reviewing this wonderful one-shot. I don't even know where to start with the emotions this gives me but I'll try and review as I go. Firstly though, I want to applaud you. I know how much work you put into this one-shot and it's truly an amazing piece of work and you should be so so proud of yourself. It's all paid off and this is absolutely wonderful. I will try not to just gush and fan girl the whole way through...

Astoria. She fascinates me as a character and she's one I love reading about and trust me you did not disappoint. I love her caring nature and how she's drawn to Draco. She isn't perfect either and I think you successfully capture a lot of her flaws. And Draco, he's so broken to start with. I think you've really done the post war Draco here justice. With the nightmares and drink and him just basically trying to piece his life together after all that happened to him. But you also put him through a lot of hardships and I love the mature version of him you create. Great job.

The descriptions throughout this piece are just so vivid. You've chosen your words so well, they flow like poetry and if this piece wasn't wonderful enough already your choice of words makes it an absolute joy. Each scene you go into more detail in I can see playing in my head perfectly. The details you've added are also so cute. Like Astoria can't cook.

The Chase. I love how you call it that when it really isn't much of one to begin with. I truly believe the best relationships can come out of friendships and that's how they start really. There's so many little details, like the fact they don't always have to speak so they're clearly comfortable in each others company.

Astoria is so patient kind and caring despite Draco's denial that there's something there. You can hardly blame her for turning him away when he shows up drunk and slobbers all over her. I'm really glad she does. It shows she has some gumption about her. I'm equally glad though that she goes to him in the end. It's clear he needs her and after pleading with her (very un-Draco like so he must be desperate) I think she can be sure he's going to actually try.

Then we move into the next section and my heart is literally bursting at the two of them. I totally understand how Draco is feeling - I know what it's like to attend school with someone for 5 years and never know them, never truly see them and then all of a sudden things can change so quickly and you wonder how you could have missed them for so long when they become such a huge part of your life. That section was perfect to me and I loved it.

The next one I have to comment on is the ring buying. I was crying with laughter bless him... rings changing size to the finger (so much more convenient!!) and the whole "Stone? Yes. I wasn't asking if you wanted one, sir. Which one, I meant." was brilliant. A lovely touch of humour. I also adore the "Had there ever been any other answer?" theme going through this section too. It fits perfectly for the moving in, permission to marry, and will you marry me questions in this section.

I love how you brought the rain back in this too, going full circle on the new start aspect of it. Clever.

And then oh. The next part. Break my heart much Adi!! Eugh. I love your analogies on marriage... the smiles that fix what words can't, and sharing a bed but not facing the same way. Little things but all very true. Marriage isn't easy, it's something you work at and you captured that here.

But the baby thing? So sad for the two of them. You wrote the experience well and my heart really broke on it.

And you don't let it get any better do you you meanie?!? Firstly, let me say that using the attack on London this way and bringing it into your story was very well done. You did it delicately considering the subject and also put it into your story seamlessly. I'm also glad (even though it was horrible to Draco) that you didn't just have him recover perfectly. I like that wizard magic can't solve everything, it shouldn't. It's awful that he ends up deaf but he can learn to deal, and he does.

Astoria is clearly not perfect and goes through a hard time, ending up with Blaise. I'm glad nothing happened and she realised how much Draco meant to her. I much prefer it that way. But it was good to see you bring out Astoria's flaws too.

Yes Rose and Scorp! I love that you got them in there!!

Third section - it should get better right? Course not Lauren... this is Adi! Now it's Astoria's turn, we have no misleading happiness to start with we're straight in to the horrible symptoms. I'm kind of worried about Astoria's nonchalant attitude to it but going to the healer just confirms the worst. Death Wish. Nicely done - I remember having conversations over what to call the disease you created and I think you went for the perfect choice.

It's kind of sad, and you sum it up in one line how one doesn't speak and one doesn't hear. The one cute thing (if I pretend Astoria isn't dying) is their communication despite what they go through.

Of course I knew she was going to die. There was only one ending. Still, the pain and the way you write it, it still really got to me. Again all I can do is commend your writing and move on before I cry too much...

Oh my god the last section. Adi! Now I really am crying. I'm so glad you gave them that section. You put them through so much but in the end they were reunited. I LOVE that you did the whole Hogwarts express thing, it tied everything up so neatly. The fact she had never got off the train waiting for him was also really sweet.

Oh Adi, so much emotion. This one shot is amazing, honestly. Running out of chars though so I can't say much more. Just wow.

Lauren

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Review #23, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingIt's the way he loved her: Love

19th March 2015:
Hey!

Here for gryffindor in the review competition.

This was so lovely and cute! I love how it was just about him and her and could be related to a number of course in the potter universe. Very clever and we done.

Each paragraph was really lovely though and the whole thing has just put a huge smile on my face from the cuteness of it all. You've really wrote this nicely, it flowed really well. The last line is definitely my favourite though. It just summed the whole thing up perfectly.

Kudos on a great story!

Lauren :)

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Review #24, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingFact: Truth

19th March 2015:
Hey!

Here for gryffindor in the review competition.

So. Wow. This wasn't what I was expecting at all. This was so heartbreaking. I'm a massive Lily and James fan... Always will be. But I felt so awful for this girl. Clearly she thinks so much of James but unfortunately for her, his heart just belongs to Lily.

Your descriptions were wonderful in this. I completely empathised with this poor poor girl. It just broke my heart to read. The first part was particularly powerful, just the way she's trying desperately to convince herself that she doesn't care when she quite obviously does.

To say you've barely used any dialogue in this you've done a fantastic job. This was a great one shot, and really different. Well done!!

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Review #25, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingHis First, Last Love. : Lily Potter

19th March 2015:
Hey there

Here for gryffindor in the review competition

Man this was sad. Wow. The feels. My heart is literally breaking. It was nice that you focused on James, you really made him so sweet in this. This is the kind of James I love to read. He was just so cute and lovely.

But you had to write about that moment. James' last moments were heartbreaking but I think you accurately showed his last thoughts would be with Lily because he loved her so much.

You used the colour green here well, to reflect both Lily's eyes and the killing curse. Nicely done. I also liked your description throughout, you had a nice way of including it all so the story flowed beautifully. I imagined each scene while it was happening.

So yeah. You broke my heart but I'm glad I've come across this well written one shot! Great job!!

Lauren

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