Reading Reviews From Member: FredWeasleyIsMyKing
  
313 Reviews Found

Review #1, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingIt's the way he loved her: Love

19th March 2015:
Hey!

Here for gryffindor in the review competition.

This was so lovely and cute! I love how it was just about him and her and could be related to a number of course in the potter universe. Very clever and we done.

Each paragraph was really lovely though and the whole thing has just put a huge smile on my face from the cuteness of it all. You've really wrote this nicely, it flowed really well. The last line is definitely my favourite though. It just summed the whole thing up perfectly.

Kudos on a great story!

Lauren :)

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Review #2, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingFact: Truth

19th March 2015:
Hey!

Here for gryffindor in the review competition.

So. Wow. This wasn't what I was expecting at all. This was so heartbreaking. I'm a massive Lily and James fan... Always will be. But I felt so awful for this girl. Clearly she thinks so much of James but unfortunately for her, his heart just belongs to Lily.

Your descriptions were wonderful in this. I completely empathised with this poor poor girl. It just broke my heart to read. The first part was particularly powerful, just the way she's trying desperately to convince herself that she doesn't care when she quite obviously does.

To say you've barely used any dialogue in this you've done a fantastic job. This was a great one shot, and really different. Well done!!

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Review #3, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingHis First, Last Love. : Lily Potter

19th March 2015:
Hey there

Here for gryffindor in the review competition

Man this was sad. Wow. The feels. My heart is literally breaking. It was nice that you focused on James, you really made him so sweet in this. This is the kind of James I love to read. He was just so cute and lovely.

But you had to write about that moment. James' last moments were heartbreaking but I think you accurately showed his last thoughts would be with Lily because he loved her so much.

You used the colour green here well, to reflect both Lily's eyes and the killing curse. Nicely done. I also liked your description throughout, you had a nice way of including it all so the story flowed beautifully. I imagined each scene while it was happening.

So yeah. You broke my heart but I'm glad I've come across this well written one shot! Great job!!

Lauren

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Review #4, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingForever: Love

19th March 2015:
Hey!

I'm here for gryffindor in the review competition :)

So this was lovely. I love how you focused on the love these pair have for each other. It was so tangible throughout. Every action and description of them just oozed how they felt for each other so great job on that.
Your descriptions were really lovely. I thought you did a great job. The nervousness of James to start with looking all fancy in his dress robes, then lily walking down the aisle looking like a dream to James. So cute.

The one speech I was disappointed not to get was Sirius. As best man he really ought to have done one ;) James and Lily's were nice of course, I just think Sirius' would have been cheeky, and a nice contrast perhaps? Jut my two cents anyway, feel free to ignore me!!

All in all though I thought you did a great job of filling in this missing moment piece :)

Lauren

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Review #5, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingFirst Snow: First Snow

19th March 2015:
Hello!

Here for gryffindor in the review competition!

Oh my goodness, this is genuinely one of the cutest moments I've ever read of these two. Just a simple moment and James is so so sweet and I can't even deal. Gah. The feels!! I loved now lily was so warm and comfy in bed so didn't want to move (that would totally be me) so James just picked her up and took her out so she didn't miss anything. It' was genuinely so cute. Your descriptions of the snow were lovely, I imagined the whole thing. And you could practically feel their love for each other you wrote it so well!!

I'm so happy I stumbled upon this, it's made me really happy to read as it's so cute and well written!

Great job,
Lauren

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Review #6, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingSparkle: Sparkle.

19th March 2015:
Hi!

Here for gryffindor in the review competition!

This is so cute, it made me fill up a little. Not only did we have the perfection of the ring for Lily and James but you ten moved on to harry and ginny. Going the ring two couples. Arg, it was just so perfect that Harry could find it and I couldn't imagine how much it must have meant to him to have a piece of his mother with him.

All your characterisation seemed really good. Both Harry and James rambling in their proposals was really cute and something I could imagine happening, especially in Harry's case. The engraving on the rings was also just perfect for them all.

I loved the lines "the boy who lived. The ring that survived'

So cute though and while heartbreaking, especially the part with Lily and James, it was so nice that you have a thoughtful ending. Great job!

Lauren :)

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Review #7, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingHate?: Hate?

19th March 2015:
Hi there

I'm here for Gryffindor in the review competition.

Okay, this was really lovely. I love the detail you went into in Lily's thought process and how she tried to convince herself he was still a toerag she should hate but in the end couldn't because it simply wasn't true anymore. We didn't get to see much of James but I like what we heard about him. The way he's matured, stopped randomly cursing and calmed down on the pranking. He sounded like he was doing a great job of being headboy :)

The one teensy mistake I noticed is that you changed James eye colour at the end. You started with hazel which is canon then changed to green... I'm guessing you just got mixed up with Lily which is understandable! Nothing bad, just thought I'd point it out :)

Anyway, this was really lovely and I enjoyed reading it. It's nice to finish on such a hopeful note and it's let me think that this is the part where they'll get together!! *fingers crossed*

Great job!

Lauren

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Review #8, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingFirst Kiss: First Kiss

19th March 2015:
Hey!

I'm here for gryffindor in the review competition!

Aww this was so cute!! Literally, it's put the biggest smile on my face. It's just so lovely to read a happy perfect moment between these pair!

Lily's reactions were really well written. Her nervousness along with the butterfly's in her stomach and the like were just perfect and right for this moment. James was such a cutie too, gah, I love him, he's one of my favourite characters, especially written like this! To be honest, both characters seemed very in character with what I'd expect so great job on that.

The description and dialogue were nice and the whole thing had a good flow about it so kudos to you on that :)

Great job!

Lauren :)

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Review #9, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingHallowe'en 1981: A (very) short story: Hallowe'en Night.

19th March 2015:
Hi!

I'm here for gryffindor in the review competition

Oh my god I'm dying. The feels!! I literally cannot cope with this?!? Gahh my heart :(

Okay I'll try and calm down to form a coherent review.

Wow so much stuff going on here. You captured perfectly a lovely family moment, despite the fact they're in the middle of a war and they're in hiding as some dark wizard maniac wants to kill their baby, you manage to create such a lovely moment. If I didn't know what was going to happen next I would be sat here smiling at the loveliness of it all.

But unfortunately I do know what's to come. And wow, the foreshadowing you got in here was clever. Obviously the mention of wormtail, the traitor!! Lily and James still so confident in him, gah it makes me angry. And saying Sirius would go mad locked away :( it just makes me so sad when we know what will happen. The the gate banging at the end, it broke my heart. Can I just pretend I don't know who that is? Yeah? Okay thanks.

I thought your characterisation of Lily and James was great here and pretty much what I expect of them from what we know in canon so to get that in in so fewer words is brilliant - well done. Harry as a baby was so cute too!!

So yeah, great one shot! I'm so glad I read it, despite the fact you've torn my heart in two ;)

Lauren

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Review #10, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingLost In The Rain: Lost In The Rain

19th March 2015:
Hi!

I'm here for gryffindor in the review competition!

Wow, this is really sad I read. I love James and Lily and here James was all lovely and cute but lily was just so... Harsh! I mean, not once was he the big headed or prat like, just actually being decent and she threw it back in his face. Lily's thoughts though... She seemed to regret what she was doing. It seemed to me she is actually starting to like him, it's just that she can't bring herself to admit that yet and is still trying to make him out to be a bad guy. Hopefully that changes soon and she hasn't lost him for good by being so horrible.

Anyway, I thought your use of the lyrics here was very nicely done and there was some nice description. I could imagine the whole scene so great job from you on that part :)

Great job!
Lauren :)

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Review #11, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingBuilding Dollhouses In The Sand: Chapter One

28th February 2015:
Hey!

Sorry for how long it's taken me to get here, but I'm finally here and ready to review!

Wow so much going on here and so much to comment on. First things, George was a bit mean at the end haha! Poor girl doesn't know which is which. Although, that must be kind of hard with a twin, for the twin and for the person speaking to them.

I really felt for Katherine in this - my heart just went out for to her so much when she felt the need to beg for the snowglobe. I know that she was clearly desperate but I was just hoping one of them would jump to help her. Eventually they did of course but I felt so awful for what she went through... especially after what had happened to her Uncle.

I feel she's going to have so much more of a bumpy ride with her father being a Death Eater. I also worry that he might have had something to do with her Uncle's death? I feel like there's so much more here.

George. Now he was a little different to how he is in the books but I felt it was because we were seeing him in a much different situation. There is clearly the beginning of something here... a friendship coming at least. I'm excited to see where it goes.

My one bit of CC for this chapter is that it changes quite a lot and it can be occasionally be a little disrupting and so I'd maybe look to extend some of the scenes or something? You certainly have captured my interest though!

Looking forward to reading more!

Lauren :)

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Review #12, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingThrough the Half-Moon Spectacles: Preparing for What is to Come

31st January 2015:
Hey Alishya!!

Sorry it's taken me so long but I am finally here (hooray!) and I'm so glad I am because I've read this little gem!!

Okay first. Dumbledore? Wow! I'm totally in awe that you attempted him because, he's Dumbledore and scary to write!! He's a character that can easily become so so occ and you didn't do that at all which made me so happy and also so in awe of you!! It was so brave but you pulled it off well.

Next... A portrait? Again wow. I've never read anything from the POV of a portrait so I really enjoyed this with it being a bit different. I liked the idea that they can see through each others eyes and have this whole communication thing going off. I thought it was a very intriguing idea! I like it.

Hmm, it was nice to see a very thoughtful Dumbledore... As I mentioned above you did his character well. I am a little gutted he didn't say anything though - I was hoping he might. Still, the inner workings of his mind were a great read!! I hope if you do carry on though we might see more of "awake" Dumbledore who talks to people/portraits.

Loved the idea that Snape couldn't face going into the headmasters office, I can seriously see that being cannon or something. That's how I'd imagine it anyway. Again I think Snape can be a tricky character to get right but you went for it and did a really great job!!

My one point of CC would be to be careful what tense your using. You occasionally slipped into the present so it might be worth a quick scan through and edit as they will be really quick for you to sort :)

All in all though, great story Alishya! I'm glad I got to read it :) great partner!!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hey Lauren!

Awww, thank you! ♥ Yes, Dumbledore and Snape are in fact scary to write. Heck, I was even surprised how I managed to carry them out. I remember feeling very cautious when I wrote this.

You're right about how easy it is to make Albus Dumbledore and even Snape ooc. Can't help but cringe when you come across ooc-ness.

I'm happy though that you said I kept them in character!


Yeah! Writing in a portrait's pov was a really cool experience for me. I was considering other ways the portraits could communicate other than traveling through each other's paintings. I felt like it was a lot of work, compared to just mental-communication.

Ah! I'm sorry! In the next chapter (whenever I can get over this block that keeps me from writing it) I did plan from the time I wrote this that Dumbledore will definitely be talking and interacting with Harry.


Yeah, I know better now! It's quite an old story. Again, when I plan to write the next part for this, I'll edit the first chapter. ;)


♥ Thanks again Lauren for reading this and reviewing! :D I'm happy that you enjoyed this! Great partners indeed!




- Asphodel


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Review #13, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingThe Best Brother Ever: The Best Brother Ever

19th October 2014:
Sian! Oh you! *hugs tightly* This. Wow, I can't even tell you how grateful I am. I honestly love this so much. Thank you. You're so so sweet to write this for me.

The twins. Who wouldn't love them? Reading them in this was just so perfect. They were spot on character wise and the story just was just so heart warming. It put a massive smile on my face. I love how proud Molly was of her boys too. Her worrying about the presents and what they think just all so canon.

Honestly Sian, I really loved this. Thank you so much, it was a perfect present!! Sorry this review is just really a ramble of my thanks but yeah. I'm just a pile of mush that you wrote this for me.

Thank you x

Author's Response: Hey Lauren!

Ah, I'm so pleased that you liked this! Seriously, you don't know how hard you are to write for... like, I know /what/ to write, but the actual writing :P

I'm really happy that the twins were well characterised and written! I wanted to get them write so badly because I know how much you love them, and that you liked Molly too.

And yay, I'm so happy you liked it, I can't even tell you! I wanted to write you a good present and you completely deserve it! ♥


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Review #14, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingDon't Become Too Serious With Him, Rosie.: That Malfoy Boy

12th September 2014:
Hey :)

Lauren from the forums here for the Gryffindor review swap!

So I'll be honest, I've really got into next gen lately and Rose/Scorp are one of my fav couples. I love how you've set this up so far, the pair of them are so cute! Gah it makes me smile so much.

Your characterisation is really good, there's some really interesting characters. I love Scorp being a sweetheart, that's cute. Lily made me smile too. Ron's protectiveness was spot on I thought. Personally, Hermione was a tad shouty for me, but she wasn't too OOC. Basically, I thought you did a great job, and even though you had the daunting task of introducing so many characters, you did so without me getting too overwhelmed so kudos to you.

I like the story so far. I love the cliff hanger, I def want to know what Scorp wanted to tell Rose! I feel it may just be about liking her but I guess I have to wait and find out. I thought it was funny that everyone seems to feel the two of them should be together and how obvious it was that they like each other!

I didn't notice any grammar or spelling issues so great job there.

So yeah, overall you seriously have my interest. You had loads of cute little bits in there like Rose being a better keeper than Ron and Rose not being able to date a Malfoy. I look forward to reading more!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hiya Lauren! :D

Sorry it's taken me so long to respond, and to get to your review. I wanted to do both when I had a moment it was actually quiet in my house, so I could do each properly. :)

Same with me, actually. I used to read strictly Marauders, but there is something very sweet about Rose/Scorpius that had me just dying to write one myself.

Aww thank you! I did not want to make Scorpius a carbon copy of a young Draco. I wanted to make him all of the things I think Draco wished he could have been, instead of buying into all of his father's propaganda as a child. I think Lily might end up being my favorite character, besides Rose, to write in this story. She's pretty fun. :) I think with Hermione, it's just that this is being told from Rose's POV, and at least for me, most teenage girls take everything their mother's say as shouting, or being mean. Like when Hermione joked with James on the platform, and Rose's thoughts were very snarky about it. I didn't mean to make her too out of character. I'm sorry you felt that way. :(

:D I'm really happy to hear you like it! Yeah, it seems that it's quite obvious to everyone except Rose and Scorpius haha. Maybe they'll finally speak up to one another soon. ;)

Thank you so much, Lauren!! I'm glad you liked the little things that were thrown in and the chapter as a whole. I truly appreciate your review and all of the kind words!!

xoxo Meg


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Review #15, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingThe Adventures of Abigail Higgs and Potter Boy: The One Where I Find Out Why James Was Up All Night

13th August 2014:
Hey again!

Really hoping this gets you to review 80 ;)

And here we are. Michelle is a total cow again. This is why I don't like her and never will! You write her well though, otherwise I wouldn't feel so strongly. I'm glad Abigail did at least give her an answer back and a slammed door. Much deserved!

But James &hearts he makes it all better! His mention of Michelle... I get the feeling he doesn't like her... I hope he intervenes at some point. Or helps Abigail stand up to her at least.

Yay! I knew James would love comic books too but it wasn't what I was thinking he was doing that night!! I agree with Abigail that he's so cute when he's excited. It puts a massive smile on my face! The bit about Ron getting him into it was cool, I like that you gave a bit of background.

He asked about a boyfriend! Checking out the competition methinks? He totally likes her! I'm almost positive!

Amazing chapter again, I honestly love this story so much!!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hello!!

Awww thank you! I'm sure it did!

She really is, she couldn't have been nice for long, it's not in her nature. Good! I don't like her either, we should start a group! Abigail is beginning to stand up to her, I like to think that James is helping her with that.

He does make it better! He's good for Abigail, helps her stand up for herself.

Haha he does! And that was what he was doing that night :D

Awww I'm glad that you enjoyed that, I liked having a special bond between Ron and James, comic books are only something that they have between the both of them that noone else is a part of.

Haha he totally does :P

Thank you so much Lauren! You're awesome!


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Review #16, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingThe Adventures of Abigail Higgs and Potter Boy: The One With The Talent Show

13th August 2014:
Hey Tammi!

Aww, I was really excited to read about the talent show. I thought it was a great idea of James so I looked forward to it. I felt for Abigail... it's such a big scary thing! James though. He's so lovely. Taking the attention off her that way was so lovely. Gah can I hug him please? He's so lovely and cute!!

Oh and his talents! Hehe, he was brilliant! I love his energy with everything. He's so enthusiastic, it makes a great character to read.

I really like William. He's a great friend for James. There was a little bit of teasing there which was fun to read. I was a bit gutted about not seeing the flip but still, it was a lovely little extra.

Michelle. Huh? Who knew she could be so... nice. It scared me a little! I still think Abigail should hang around with Isabella more though.

Great chapter though Tammi!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad. James is good for Abigail, he could tell that she was nervous and he doesn't mind having all of the attention on him. You can hug him! Hug away!!

He has many talents, and you're right, he has so much energy and so enthusiastic.

I love William, he's a good friend for James definitely. Haha I'm gutted about it too, but James got embarassed, which he never does.

I know! I'm scared of her niceness too, she's up to something, I don't trust her at all. Abigail needs Isabella more.

Thank you so much Lauren! :D


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Review #17, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingJigsaw: Piece #1

4th August 2014:
Hey hey hey Sian!

Eek I'm so excited you've put this up here! I've been waiting so long! I know you've really been panicking about this Sian, but you really shouldn't... it's fantastic!

The first section. Man it really puts me on edge. You got so much tension into those few sentences! You also leave me completely puzzled about this man and who he is and how he got involved with this other cloaked figure. I have so many questions Sian! You have to hurry and post more so they can be answered!

Your description of the Daily Prophet was lovely, I really lost myself in it. You got both Roxi's annoyance at not having the name for herself she wants as well as her love of the paper and why she stays there. I could literally see and hear everything. It was brilliant.

I liked the parallels between Violet and Rita Skeeter! Her interest in Roxi's personal life definitely brought that out. But there was definitely a bit of tension from Roxi when her man was brought up! I look forward to reading more...

Just saying the added bit about George selling teacups - loved it! But then my heart broke when you said her parents can't celebrate his birthday.

Janes an interesting friend, and I loved the chatter they had. You could see they were really close and the conversation was really natural and not forced at all. You still built up the tension around Daniel though!

Ah! She has her first story. Fantastic end to the first chapter, I can't wait to read more! Honestly Sian, this is fantastic, please don't be worried!

Can't wait to read more :)

Lauren

Author's Response: Lauren!

I'm so excited to see you here and thank you so much for being patient with me and waiting and encouraging and everything, because I couldn't have done it without you!

Yay, tension is what I was hoping for, something mysterious and a little bit creepy. The questions will be answered in time!

I really enjoyed imagining the Prophet offices, and I'm so happy you liked the descriptions. At this point Roxy's really frustrated with her work but she does still love working there, and I wanted to get that across.

Poor Roxy, she hasn't got the best of colleagues here, and Violet's a bit of a busybody. Hmm, you're right to pick up on the tension ;)

I'm glad you liked the line about George selling the teacups! It was nice to inject some humour and a mention of her family in there, but I did feel a bit bad when I wrote about his birthday.

Jane and Roxy have been friends for about twelve years by this point so they're really close, and I'm glad that you could pick up on that too, and that the conversation seemed natural!

Thank you so much for this wonderful review, Lauren! You've reassured me so much! ♥


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Review #18, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingDeath on the First: Chapter One

3rd August 2014:
Hey Sian!

I've finally made it here to review :D I'm so excited about this story! I can't wait to read it all. For now though I'm desperately trying to work out who this can be... I'll leave my thoughts as we go along...

So nine people... well, eight. Poor Parvati! In with the action straight away and I can't help but feel for her. What reason has the murderer got to kill Parvati? And want to kill more of them? Oh this has me thinking so much!

Now, occasionally the murderer thinks about other people, meaning I should be able to cross people off my list of people, as technically the murderer wouldn't think of themselves that way. But I don't know if this a trick by you! Just to throw us off the scent! I'll make notes though and see if it narrows it down...

I love the murderers thoughts. If it wasn't kind of creepy they would be really funny! You've also really thought of everything... like the fact they're all trapped together, giving the murderer chance to kill the rest of them. Brilliant. All though, not for the rest of them!

I like that Pansy already has a history following her that hints at past murder. I don't think it would be her though... it seems to obvious. Plus the murderer thinks about her so I don't know. Also Theo seems to have his mums past trailing him.

The murderer was very clever in seeming to put suspicion on Seamus to me with the conversation they "overheard". I'm interested to see how that develops!

So I've narrowed my list of suspects down... but I'm still not sure who it is yet... I eagerly await the next chapter!

Sian, this was a great opening and I can tell it's going to be a great story. I can't wait to find out where you're going to take it. I didn't notice any spelling or grammar mistakes. The story just flowed so well and sucked me in completely! Please update quickly ;)

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren! I'm so excited that you managed to stop by, thank you so much!

I can't help but feeling a bit bad about killing Parvati in this story, even if it's not quite my head canon. I'm so excited that you're asking questions and thinking about who the murderer could be, because that's exactly what I was hoping for!

Haha, the idea of them all being stuck in the house together for the rest of this came from Agatha Christie stories, because that always seems to happen and the concept's kind of strange to me. Writing the killer's thoughts was actually really fun though, even if it was kind of strange to put myself in their mindset!

Hmm, I'm really intrigued about who your suspects are at the moment, but I can't really give much more away other than saying that your thoughts about narrowing down the suspects and on who some of them are are very interesting!

Thanks so much for this amazing review, and I'm so glad that you liked this first chapter! I'll be putting another chapter in the queue soon if I can ♥


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Review #19, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingno light, no light: no light, no light

12th July 2014:
Hey!

As I enjoyed your other HC entry so much, I wanted to come and check out more of your work!

I loved that you wrote about Ginny. I think she is a really hard character to get write... a lot of canon characters are but you tackled this fantastically and really pulled it off.

My heart went out to Ginny, I've not read a story where she is so fragile before, but I like that you put her in that situation. I think after what they went through, they would all be seriously battle scarred! It was lovely that she was getting so much comfort from Harry, that he was still her hero, however I'm also glad you took her to Hogwarts so that she had the chance to deal with her demons away from Harry's arms. The scenes you described were perfect... I could imagine a lot of people being deeply affected by the war and being excused from classes and the like when things got tough. It was great to see Ginny slowly build herself back up though!

Also.. love that Mrs Weasley eventually told Harry to get back to his own bed! Very in character!

Great job again! I can't believe you wrote these amazing one shots in just a week!

Lauren
House cup review 2014

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Review #20, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingJigsaw Memory: Jigsaw Memory

12th July 2014:
Hey there.

Wow, I don't really know where to start here. I absolutely loved the concept of this piece and I thought you did an amazing job of making us see through Monica's eyes. The whole time you really got across the feeling of having something missing, from her setting three places up, to having a big space in the photograph. The attention to detail you added was brilliant. You also had some really good descriptions in there, I already mentioned the feelings Monica has of missing something, but yeah, your descriptions of it were so good. I could really feel it with her.

Then Hermione came back! I was so pleased to see the one-shot end on a much happier note! The pieces finally fitting into place for Monica and Hermione getting her parents back. It made me so happy!

This was a great missing moment story... I absolutely loved it! Great job!

Lauren
house cup review 2014

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! I think this is one of my more interesting pieces, and definitely not a common character. +]

The three plates part was my favorite. +] Then Hermione came back! Well, I couldn't just leave her in despair. I'm glad you liked it so much!

Thanks for such a lovely review!


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Review #21, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingViolet Hill: an iridescent colour.

12th July 2014:
Hello again!

I wasn't sure how you would bring the last prompt into play in the story but I loved what you did here. A friendship between Lily and Scorpius was certainly not what I had in mind. You did a great job of showing how eternal their bonds were. It was lovely that Lily helped him so much with his mothers death, something he wouldn't have overcome easily but then their friendship became so much stronger in all the years afterwards too.

Again. Description. Honestly, I can't tell you how beautiful it really is. You have such a way with words, each chapter has read so beautifully and flowed so well and your word choices are all perfect. I could quote so many bits back to you but I'd just end up quoting the majority of the story.

I thought you did a great job with all three pieces, tying them together into a great overall story! Well done!

Lauren
house cup review 2014

Author's Response: Hi again Lauren!

Haha, yes, this chapter was certainly one of twists with it being Lily and the fact it had a lighter tone, but then I think it's possibly my favourite one because of those turns it had. I'm glad that you liked the glimpses of their friendship though because it was really fun to include and I really wish I could have expanded upon it now.

Aw, thank you so much!!! It really means so much to hear me to hear that so I'm just squeeing away now so excuse me if the rest of the review makes no sense. :P

Thanks for such a great review and sorry for taking ages to respond to it!

-Kiana


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Review #22, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingViolet Hill: the land of delusions.

12th July 2014:
Hey again!

I love that you changed to second person for this chapter... I love reading it and you did a great job of it here.

The chapter starts out very dark and you again had such vivid descriptions... your writing is absolutely beautiful to read, I can't compliment you enough. You did a great job of making Death so real and terrifying for Scorpius so great job.

I really like the ending... For me it was kind of unexpected for Draco Malfoy to be the source of such comfort, but I love that's he's grown as a person in this since what we know in the books. His words are very true, and while they can't take all the pain away, it's clear they touch Scorpius, and he sees death isn't all bad. Again - you gave us a more hopeful ending after a very dark start!

Great job again!

Lauren
House cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Hi again Lauren!

Aw, thank you so much, it means so much to me worry at all! It was actually a ton of fun writing about Death as you could be so much more abstract and obscure with your descriptions if that makes sense so I would definitely recommend it.

Yes, it was unexpected for me too I should say as I almost thought that Scorpius would find comfort within himself but I guess with all of his experience from the war he was bound to be able to help Scorpius and how to deal with death.

Thanks for a great review! :D

-Kiana


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Review #23, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingViolet Hill: a glimpse of infinity.

12th July 2014:
Hey Kiana!

Wow, you really managed to pack a punch in so few words! I think a lot of that comes from some of your word choices here, it read so beautifully... you did an amazing job. All the descriptions were so vivid it made the whole thing lovely and enjoyable to read.

What I loved more than anything though is that you turned the Thestral into a symbol of hope, where as we usually see it as something a lot more negative. Of course the story has a real undertone of sadness with the death of Scorps mother which you did a great job of showing because if it only happened 3 weeks ago, that pain has to be still very raw. But at the end when he feels like his mother is still with him because he can see the Thestral, I just thought that was such a hopeful ending... absolutely beautiful!

Well done on a great HC entry and also on the EWC entry! It was beautifully written.

Lauren
House cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Hey Lauren!

Aw, thank you so much, it was definitely a lot of fun to try and make this a lot more descriptive than usual but a lot shorter too and it was a really useful task and I would recommend it to everyone!

I'm really glad that you liked the spin on the symbolism too because I really wanted to explore the idea of misconceptions and how things can be seen in different lights such as the thestral.

Thanks for an amazing review, it really made me smile! :D

-Kiana


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Review #24, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingThestrals: Hugo

12th July 2014:
Hey again!

This is again a chapter full of mixed emotion. I was so sad for Hugo... seeing the Thestrals when his friends can't must be so hard for him. I was also sad to hear it was his grandma! I don't know whether I want to know which one... my first instinct was Molly, although witches and wizards do generally live longer so I was wondering if it was Hermione's mother. Either way, it's sad for him.

There was a sad undertone to this the whole way through until the very end and I think you did an awesome job of carrying that through. Hugo's not constantly bawling his eyes out, but instead you have him really trying to deal with the pain, and for the most part, I think he deals with it well. The ending was good though... I was glad he got over his dislike of the thestrals, once he saw how good they could be. It probably helped that the pain over losing his grandma had lessened slightly, but either way, it was good to see him overcome it.

Great job once again!
Lauren :)
House cup 2014 review

Author's Response: I think death is weird that way. It doesn't leave you feeling just one thing, and it's worse because it changes over time. I really wanted to capture that feeling in this story. Hugo's story was my favourite to write. And I wrote this with one particular grandmother in mind, but I didn't say which so that the reader could choose - or not. But yes, it's sad either way :(

There's this sort of melancholy aura attached to thestrals that you can't help but include when writing them, I felt. I wanted to write them in a positive light, but I still managed to make things sad! I'm glad you liked Hugo's grief. I wanted it to feel realistic and a sort of normal part of his life, like he just carried this thing around with him like we carry schoolbooks or the knowledge of how to tie a shoelace.

Thank you for reading and reviewing :)


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Review #25, by FredWeasleyIsMyKingThestrals: Neville

12th July 2014:
Hey again.

This chapter. Oh, my heart goes out to Neville. He really doesn't give himself enough credit for what he does! Especially the last one! He steps out, and talks down to Lord Voldemort. I mean come on! You don't get braver than that!

I think Neville's grandad would have been proud of him... I'm not sure if this is canon or not but I liked it anyway. It was well thought out. What I also liked was how you took us through the different scenes in Nevilles life where he did these things. Standing up for himself, his friends and his family. And of course leading the rebellion. He doesn't seem to understand though that being afraid inside doesn't lessen his bravery. I'm sure the bravest people in the world are sometimes scared to death inside!

Neville's characterisation was well done. You retained the shy boy we know but also gave him the boldness and bravery from the later books. You did a great job!

Lauren :)
House cup review 2014

Author's Response: Neville. *sighs* There's just so many words that can be written about Neville. It was difficult just writing 500. And he definitely deserves more credit! Harry literally could not have defeated Voldemort without Neville!

I think his grandfather would have been seriously proud of him as well. I remember reading in the fifth book that Neville can see thestrals and it's because of his grandfather. It's been a while since I read OotP though so I might be getting confused. It was quite challenging choosing which scenes to focus on - there's just so many!

I'm so pleased that you like his characterisation! It was the thing I was most worried about with this story.

Thanks for the wonderful review :)


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