Reading Reviews From Member: SunnyWitch
20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SunnyWitchAllergic to Fun: Invitations and Unwanted Interventions

28th September 2013:
Hey there! I'm reviewing all entries for the Names and No Faces challenge.

Okay, honestly, I can't find much wrong with this! As PQ said in her review, there really isn't much to nit-pick. I did notice that a couple of times you didn't use a capital letter for 'Transfiguration' but that's not a big deal at all. In the fourth paragraph, it did strike me that the 'and' at the beginning of the last sentence was slightly unnecessary. It still made sense, but it would've made sense without it.

I like how you have the occasional word in italics - to me that just emphasises Lily's character, especially stressed out as she is. Lily always struck me as a Hermione-like personality, so the stressing and over-preparing for end-of-year exams fits right in with that.

Lily has such a strong voice in this. You can hear it all the way through.

There were a few mistakes with the dialogue. You sometimes has a full-stop instead of what should have been a comma. For example: 'Don't be so pessimistic, Alison.' Lily scolded, even though she thought Alison's statement could very well be true.
Instead this should be: 'Don't be so pessimistic, Alison,' Lily scolded, even though she thought Alison's statement could very well be true.

I also agree with PQ that the tutoring line could be a very interesting lead-in to their relationship. Can't wait to read more!

Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: Hi SunnyWitch, thank you for the review :)

I'm glad you found The characterisation of Lily to be fitting. I've always thought of her to be a bit Hermione-ish too. I'm not sure Lily is over-preparing for her exams here though, she really is struggling with Transfiguration ;) she can't be good at everything, right?

Thank you for pointing those bits out, I shall go over it and change those things. I'm never quite sure about dialogue punctuation so I really appreciate you pointing that out :) Also, I totally agree about that last line, the 'and' really is not necessary so I shall get rid of it!

I'm glad you think the tutoring plot line could be interesting. I think you may be surprised by how the tutoring sessions go, I hope so anyway ;) I'm pleased you're looking forward to reading more, am hoping to have the next chapter up soon!

Thanks again for the great review, it was very helpful :)

Haronione ♥

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Review #2, by SunnyWitchWhispers of the Night: Whispers of the Night

13th July 2013:
Hullo! As Phoenix Quill and I made the challenge together, apparently I'm the one whom shall be reviewing all of the entries. I'm also one of the two judges, aha.

First of all, I was a little surprised by the idea of this one-shot. I'd figured that this would have a fairly dark, sinister outlook. I'm also not really sure how well this relates to the title.

There were a few grammatical errors - nothing too major, just, for example, a comma missing, or a comma in the place of a full-stop. There was also a spelling mistake or two that I picked up.

Your way of showing the relationship between Rose and Albus was - I thought - spot on. Cousins can be severely annoying sometimes. Also the idea of having a House competition with kids' games really appealed to me.

Overall, I thought it a nice bit of an insight into the Next Gen's 'activities' at Hogwarts.

Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: I know! I'm definitely not expecting to win this challenge, because I've never even written next gen before. I just thought it would be a nice challenge for me personally. I fought with the title a bit before writing it, and decided to just stick with what I had. I didn't want to go about bothering you two. When I can edit this one-shot, I'll be sure to go over it for spelling and such, thanks for pointing that out as well. Thanks for your review!

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Review #3, by SunnyWitchHe Hunts Me Now: He Hunts Me Now

22nd June 2013:
Okay. Finally got round to reviewing this one (and will work on your other stories, too).
Ugh. Chills. Ugh.
Like it. But chills. Going to have nightmares now.
This is a very interesting set-up, and the anonymity works well, too. Things are left to the imagination, which I like. For example, this could be in any time frame, really. It could even be an ancient story from the Founders' time.
It leaves people wanting to know more. The analogies are great, and the werewolf - freaky.
The bit that got to me were the packages that were received from the werewolf. Seriously, a foot? A head? Ugh.
It's brilliant, but very creepy.
Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: YAY, REVIEWS! Thank you!
Chills. Chills are good. Chills are what I was going for. Nightmares are also good. For other people. Not me though. Ahem.anyway...
Thank you. I'm glad you appreciated the anonymity, since it gives you a) the option to be the 'piglet', or b) to choose a character to be the 'piglet'. It could be from any time, and any one.
Yeah, the packages. I don't know where that was from, but remember - this werewolf is a serial killer, and some serial killers have strange tendencies. He's also insane, so yeah. Feet and heads sent.
Thanks for calling it brilliant!
Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D

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Review #4, by SunnyWitchHermione's Bag: Hermione's Bag

16th June 2013:
Eeep. *fangirl squeal*
Love Inkheart. Love it. The movie was poorly made, don't you agree - hang on. Supposed to be talking about your one-shot.
I love that too.
Anyway, your characterisation of Hermione was really good. I also thought of her as slightly OCD, you know...
This just bring out a missing scene from the Books Themselves, which I imagined in my head to be pretty much exactly like this (minus the quote, cos I'm not so awesome as to come up with that).
Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: Eeep! *returning a fangirl squeal* Sorry, it's a tradition. When one squeals, all others do.
Thanks! I loved writing it!
I did see Hermione as slight OCD as well, but in this case, it wasn't going to be able to be explored, because I focused on another facet of her personality - her love of books. I'm glad I captured her personality...(I kinda based it on me, since I can really relate with Hermione)
Mmm, this is a scene that was ignored in the Books Themselves due to being mostly focused on Harry in that section, but oh well. That's what fanfictions for, right? Right...?
Thanks for reviewing!
Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D

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Review #5, by SunnyWitchThe Effects of Firewhiskey: The Effects of Firewhiskey

16th June 2013:
Ooh, hey, I'm on a reviewing spree. :3
Miss me?
Ooh, fluff... precious...
Yeah, eh, creepy moment. Now, onto more important things.
I love Sirius. Just... love Sirius. Ugh. We would be best friends. We would pull pranks.
Okay, there's pretty much nothing wrong with it (eh, thought it was time I went all ninja-ho, right?), except for that I find it confusing (or maybe it's just my brain that's mucking things up for me? Ugh stupid brain) when you have the other person reacting to someone's speech straight after, on the same line.
"Good choice, James."

"I - I - I don't, what is, why are you - " I groaned, smiling in spite of myself.

Do you see what I mean? Yeah. Just a little thing.
Anyway, back to good things. I. Love. Fluff.
I. Love. This.
You displayed James' and Sirius' friendship exactly like I imagined, and Lily...
I don't think I've ever really read a fic with her swearing so much!
Anyway, you should siriusly (see what I did there?) continue this. Maybe make it into a Short Story.
Pretty, pretty please?
Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: SUNNYWITCH! MISSED YOU SOO MUCH! *squeezes you so hard your head almost explodes* Oops, sorry. Anyway, on with replying!
I love Sirius too. Siriusly. We could be best friends as well. Or know, when he was younger.
Hmm, with the speech thing...basically, I just have it that you're reminded with a name.
I can see where you're coming from, but I think it's just you. No offense.
Yeah, I brought out a new side of Lily, which kinda reminds me of...well, me. And I reckon this is exactly what kind of friends James and Sirius would be. They'd be the crazy best friends, Remus would try and keep them under control, and Peter.would sit there, covering his head and praying not to get hurt. Sorry Peter, but it's true. Well, not really sorry, you evil rat-man!
I don't think I'll be continuing it. There's not enough scope to continue. I finished it without an intention of keeping it up, so the story is basically concluded.
But I might do more Lily/James stuff, if you insist.
Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D

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Review #6, by SunnyWitchThe Shenanigans of Lily Potter: Maniac

26th May 2013:
This I love. Yoda speak I do. (Ha, ignore that, but I do love this!)
Your characterisations were excellent. I'd never seen a story that displays Lily as taking after Arthur Weasley before, and this made me smile. I could really picture Lily, holed up in her room, breaking everything Muggle (how would she go with a pen, I wonder?).
Really interested as to how this pans out! Sounds interesting so far, keep up the good work!
Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: Glad you love it I am :D

There are very few stories displaying Lily as a little quirky and like Arthur. I just figured that as the youngest sibling she'd be with her grandparents a lot and she'd probably love to hang out with Arthur more than Molly because Arthur is more easy going.

Knowing Lily, she'd probably sit staring at it for hours and then break it apart completely and see if she could put it back together without any help.

Thanks so much for the positive review and I'm glad that you enjoyed the story!

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Review #7, by SunnyWitchLittle Sister: Baby Sister

5th May 2013:
Ohmygosh. This almost made me cry.
I loved this. It was so - beautiful and sad? The wording, language, characterisations...
It flowed perfectly for me. It really did. I wish I could write like that!
It portrayed such realistic emotions.
Thank you for writing this (although it is very, very, very sad)!
Cheers, SW.

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Review #8, by SunnyWitchIn Love and War: Prophecies

31st January 2013:
Ugh. Now I'm depressed.
Ooops, sorry. Just read the part where you said keep hate to a minimum... Ahaha.
You don't cry?! (Jokes, I know you don't, but still!) I cry all the time when I'm writing sad bits :'( ...
Oh, and write MORE on this! It's being neglected. A lot. Siriusly.
Please, pretty please with a cherry on top (even if I do know you're busy with two other stories), keep writing :3?
Even if you need to neglect our story a tiny weeny bit, please?
But, anyway, ma two cents.
Cheers, SW.
PS: Yes.

Author's Response: Well, you took your sweet time reviewing.
I'm kidding. I love you for reviewing anyway, no matter how long you took.
Which was really productive.
Yeah, this is why I said that. To stop people like you being mean to poor little me.
As cool as that would be.
A robot with personality.
With a capital Y.
Why? Because we're hot *Ramon sexy pose*
Yeah, I just did that.
No judgey.
I'm trying to keep writing, but it ain't flowing.
I don't wanna neglect any story at all. I'll try with this one, but sorry in advance in case it's fruitless.
Thanks for your two cents for a poor pauper. That will help me eat tonight.
Kidding again.
Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D
P.S. I think he looks cute. His personality is rotten. I hate his personality. His face, however...different story altogether.

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Review #9, by SunnyWitchThe Redheaded Clan: Dodging is Key to Survival

29th January 2013:
Gee, double BAM at the start, both Vera AND Georgia attacking them?
I hope they run themselves off a cliff.
Oh, and I'm starting to like Scorpius.
Poor guy! Why did he have to go and kiss Georgia?! If he hadn't, she wouldn't have caused him to be in the hospital wing!
Hmm... Deslinn! Now it gets more interesting!
Keep writing, LOVE IT!
Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: DOUBLE WHAMMY.
Both the evil ones attacking the main characters.
I could make them do that, but revenge will be served eventually. In a different way.
A more cunning way.
Yay! I'm glad you like Scorp now. He works so hard for approval.
He was suffering from classic 'male-bigheaded syndrome', in which a man does something to get a girl jealous which ends disastrously.
I agree. It was stupid. But she might have done it anyway. She was obsessed, man. Like, crazy obsessed.
Deslinn...the relationship even I didn't see coming. Who'da thunk it, eh?
I have no plans of stopping writing. Currently, I am severely paralyzed, and yet I am still writing.
I'm kidding. But seriously, I'M NEVER GONNA STOP WRITING.
I love it too! And you, for reviewing!
In a non weird way!
Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D

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Review #10, by SunnyWitchNot Normal: {Chapter the Second}

29th January 2013:
I. Love. This. Story.
Read two chapters and I'm hooked already.
Regulus sounds like fun... but mysterious. I really don't have a clue about that.
And I love the relationships between Ellie and the Potters... Ginny Weasley is so... amazing/super/awesome.
And Chris... I have a feeling I'm going to like Chris, am I right?
Amazing chapter and story!
Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: *smiles uncontrollably*

I feel extremely pleased that you're hooked - I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it! It flatters me far too much for it to be a good thing!

Merlin... Ellie and the Potters... they're good fun to write.

And you're not gonna like Chris - you'll end up loving him (I kinda do) - provided I write him correctly!

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Review #11, by SunnyWitchThe Redheaded Clan: Stars and New Beginnings

28th January 2013:
Hehe.. I like Aislinn... drench the hungover in water I say! Drench them!
I like Japhne, but you're going to have to do a LOT of convincing to make me like ScoRose.
Love Lopsy, and I'm happy for Rosie Posie, even though I still do not like Scorpius.
And darn... another cliffhanger... WHY?! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME WHY?!
Vera... Hmm, I could think of several things I would like to say to her, to be honest. None of them without swearing.
Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: Drenching was to wake them. Potion was to cure them. I liked the idea of drenching them.
Why do I need to convince you? They're a cute couple! And I love love love Japhne!
Rosie Posie will not be happy you called her that. She hates it. Trust me.
Why don't you like Scorpius? He's a little...too boyish, but I think he's cute.
Vera needs a stern talking to. But she'd have to be restrained. I can't tell you what I'd say, because my answer would be reported, and I don't want that to happen. It would have a lot of asterixes.
Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D

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Review #12, by SunnyWitchThe Redheaded Clan: When In Doubt, Throw A Party

28th January 2013:
Hmmm... I must try throwing a party next time I punch one of my friends...
I'm joking. They'll just punch me back and then we'll be cool.
But I think I'd throw the party anyway. Because I like parties.
I still don't think I like Scorpius. Siriusly, the guy went out with Georgia - GEORGIA - while he liked Rose! Geez, what the heck is wrong with him?!
I agree with the waterslide thing, though.
Nice chapter, good that they're all cool again (sorry, I'm liking the word 'cool' at the minute), and etc.
Keep writing, enjoyed it - as always!
Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: I like parties too. You'll see evidence in later chapters.
Scorpius. Didn't. Go. Out. With. Georgia.
He used her to make Rose jealous.
It worked, too.
It's classic male tactics.
I want waterslides to replace stairs worldwide. Even regular slides would be great.
S'all cool now, sis. S'all cool.
Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D

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Review #13, by SunnyWitchThe Redheaded Clan: Letters and Apologies

25th January 2013:
I don't like this chapter.
End of review.
Kidding. I'm still going to review, but I'm upset now :'( .
I like Lulu. I want Lulu. Lulu is now mine.
Lulu... that's a funny name, isn't it?
When you say it out loud it doesn't even sound like a name. More like gibberish.
I. Hate. Vera.
She's a cow. I can't say worse than that in a review.
Though, to be honest, if I were James, I'd suspend Rose too.
She needs to make it up with them.
And Scorpius.
With... cookies? Cookies always make things better.
Anyway, I'm rambling on too much, so I'm going to stop now. But siriusly, fix this.
Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: I don't like this chapter either.
End of reply.
Also kidding. And I am also upset.
No, Lulu is mine. Mine only. I own her. Get your own Pygmy Puff.
Lulu is not a funny name. It's a cute name. It's short for Lucinda. But this Lulu is not short for anything. It's just Lulu.
I. Hate. Vera. More.
I would say worse, but people would be angry, and I don't like people being angry. So I shall say this...she is a big cow with air for brains!
I do agree with James. She does need to be punished. But praised also. For punching Vera.
She will make it up to them! By Chapter Six, using a mix of alcohol, manipulation and snogging, she will make it up to everyone.
Snogging is only for one person though.
Trust me. One can never have enough cookies.
I love the Cookie Monster. He was my favourite character on Sesame Street.
Maybe because I loved cookies as much as him.
I'm also rambling now. I will fix this, don't worry!
Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D

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Review #14, by SunnyWitchThe Redheaded Clan: The Ways of Women

24th January 2013:
Shock horror! Lily is a Seer!
Joking. I'm talking about Rose snapping. Ob...viously.
Because of a dream? Siriusly? Why Rose, why?!
Please don't regret making her punch Vera though. I liked that bit.
I loved the reappearance of the dreaded rock cake. If you don't mind, I might steal that, seeing as you stole my idea with the whole 'he will stab you with a fork if you go near his food' in the last chapter.
Ok, so you used James for that, and I used Fred, but still.
I want my rock cakes.
It cannot be!
I won't hurt you for making Rose a horrible person in this chapter, but only because I liked the part about Vera getting bashed.
Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: No, Lily is not a Seer, but at least one of our esteemed bunch of lovable characters is... dun, dun, dun! *dramatic music*.
I HATED making Rosie do this. She was already tense from all the weird emotions, and besides, she's fifteen. Hello, hormones? I enjoyed punching Vera. She had it coming.
I have a love of rock cakes. Not to eat, though. Although I did find a site with a recipe for them...ehh. Sorry if I have unintentionally stolen anything from anyone without you or me knowing. Trust me, I try to be original, but sometimes, my 'ideas' are really me remembering something on a subconscious level that I read, heard, saw, etc. So sorry if I accidentally copied you, or anyone for that matter.
Georgia, Georgia, Georgia...what can be said that hasn't been said? Psychotic, insane, in desperately love with Scorpius...and yes, that is true. But it's partly the whole 'wanting what she can't have' thing.
Thank you for not hurting me, I like being safe. Very very much. Almost as much as I like Belgian Chocolate, hot chocolate, Freddo Frogs...this list has a lot of chocolate on it. I'm such a pig. Aanyway, thanks thanks thanks a trillion for reviewing, and also for reading my strange impulses that I somehow convert into readable stories!
Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D
P.S. You can have your rock cakes. Don't eat them, however tempted you might be. It will hurt you, possibly for quite a few years.

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Review #15, by SunnyWitchThe Redheaded Clan: Meetings of All Sorts

22nd January 2013:
*sobs* I didn't get a Firebolt...
I'm excited for Irus... please make that happen. I'll hate you if that doesn't happen. Kidding. Maybe.
Albus is ma favourite now, I think. Or Lopsy. Or... all of them?
I don't think I can choose!
Maybe Daphne and James should get together!
(Maybe means they definitely should. Just a point.)
Japhne? Or Dames? Or Jam - nie? Or Daphmes? Or... ok, you get the picture.
Keep writing, love it!
Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: I'm sorry to hear that. If it makes you feel better, either did I *dissolves into sobs louder than a dragon snoring* :'(
I'm excited for Irus too, but there will be spanners. Oh, many, many spanners.
I LOVE LOPSY. AND ALBUS. AND JAMES. AND FRED. AND SCORPIUS. AND ROXANNE. In fact, I love everyo - hang on, I don't love everyone. I don't love Vera. Or Georgia. Grrr.
Yeah, that's my ultimate plan, to have Japhne, Irus, Scorose and one other...which will remain a mystery. And if you'd been listening - LIKE YOU SHOULD - then you would have known that Daphne/James is Japhne. PAY ATTENTION NEXT TIME.
I have no intentions of ever stopping writing. Even when I die. I will be a zombie author. So don't worry about that one. Unless when I am a zombie author, I write you bad poetry and then eat your brains. Okay, maybe worry a little.
Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D
P.S. Did you steal your final line from me? I SAID CHEERS FIRST, CHEERS STEALER. Kidding...I think. >:O

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Review #16, by SunnyWitchThe Redheaded Clan: Fifth Year Begins

22nd January 2013:
Ok, finally got round to reviewing this!
Geez, I'm lazy, aren't I?
Anyway, good start to it! I don't think I like Scorpius much in this chapter, to be honest, but we'll see how it progresses.
Hate Vera. Please, let Vera be maimed or seriously injured.
Apart from her, I like your characters! Lily's my favourite.
Good background information about the family, her parents, and you know. I always pictured Dom like that, too.
Maybe you should ( if you haven't already ) have a scene between the parents, showing the whole rivalry thing?
Just had a thought, would the Maurauder's Map still work if a lot of the castle had to be rebuilt?
Keep writing, enjoyed it a lot!

Cheers, SW.

Author's Response: I don't like Scorp in this one either, but it was necessary. I really hate Vera. She will be punished. I do like Lily, especially in future chapters. She's so bloody wise for a thirteen year old!
I had to do a bit of...RESEARCH. I know, MEGA GASP. I've found out Wiki is my bestie, and it tells me a lot. There may be a scene at the station for Christmas...maybe. The Map would still work, since the castle was made completely the same as before the War. The professors and headmistress used magic to restore it, which meant everything went back to how it used to be. Thanks for the review!
Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D

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Review #17, by SunnyWitchIn Love and War: Up, Up and Away

1st December 2012:
I'm so proud of you - over four thousand words! Well done!
I love Evelyn!
Anymore information on Sarah's pregnancy? You know, I haven't heard about that for a while.
Love it as always, SW.

Author's Response: I know, this one is huge! I love Evelyn too, she is possibly my most favourite character, except for Taylor. Next chapter will have pregnancy stuff, don't you worry.
Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D

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Review #18, by SunnyWitchIn Love and War: Denial

28th November 2012:
Awww, so touched that you mentioned me!
Looking forward to the next chapter, maybe some more background information about Albus? Maybe Golye - sorry, Duncan - as well?
I reckon I'd be Evelyn, and if I were, I'd spy on you.
Anyway, love it as usual, keep writing!
Cheers, SunnyWitch

Author's Response: No probs for mentioning you. Chapter 10 doesn't have much background on Albus or Duncan, but it does introduce two new characters. Chapter 11 will have Albus info and maybe Duncan. I've decided I like Evelyn, just because she's so quick to spot things. Love you so much for reviewing!
Cheers, Phoenix Quill

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Review #19, by SunnyWitchThree Absolute Nutters: chapter 1

26th November 2012:
Love the plot and characters, but it's really hard to read, courtesy of punctuation and spelling errors. I know a few people have picked up on that, and I noticed that you used your age as as excuse, but I'm fourteen and I found it hard to get past.
I love Skye. Skye is definitely my favourite.
But if you could just fix up the spelling and things, that would be great!
Cheers, SW

Author's Response: okay thank you and punctuation has never been my strong point and i will work on that. Thank you for the review it means a lot to see that somebody actually read this chapter so Thanks :)

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Review #20, by SunnyWitchIn Love and War: The Party...And The Aftermath

16th November 2012:
How about, for a ship name, Starlor? Because, you know, Scorpius/Scorpio is the name of a star constellation?
Just my thoughts!

Author's Response: That's a really good idea! Thanks for that!
Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D

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