I am so happy with the ending :)
your last chapter actually made me cry, is it wrong of me to want to read more of the story even if it has ended.
Great story loved every part of it :D
- 10/10 Report Review
I'm here for requested review:
First of all I liked it, it's good and very amusing.
I'm happy that you made her friends with at least one of Hufflepuff Sarah, who is really good character. It means that she is not friends with all Wotters.
Fred's really good, he is one of my favorite character and I liked the way you represented him.
'Grace, thy name is not Elaine Longbottom' I really liked this line and the situation was funny too.
I didn't find any error in grammar so it's good.
I also liked James specially and the STDs line was good :)
You didn't tell us much about the appearance of Elaine just that she is clumsy like Neville which in the sense is good but a little more detail would be nice.
Overall, a nice start :D
-ShellyAuthor's Response: Thank you for the review (: I'll be sure to work in Elaine's appearance in future chapters. Report Review
I'm here with requested review:
I actually reviewed the chapter 2 in review tag so I thought of reviewing the next chapter :)
I really liked the chapter, it's s a good progression of last chapter and is a great ,mixture of suspense of course humor.
'Sometimes I wonder if I should have more female friends' I could totally relate to this and I loved the nickname troll and she-devil.
The portrayal of Daphne was awesome, you have really shown how beautiful Daphne was and Astoria is really intrigued by Malfoy's mission.
One thing she was annoyed by Theo's companion and i think she likes him or something.
The flashback good and I liked the warning their father gave him.
Slughorn bit was good and quite amusing.
Overall, nice chapter :)
(Sorry for this small review but I am having xams)
-ShellyAuthor's Response: Hi! I'm glad you liked the chapter, and have had a chance to read more of the story. It makes me happy to know people are enjoying these early chapters because I'm quite insecure about them. :)
I'm glad you thought the chapters flowed together and there was a good balance of suspense and humour, which is what I was going for. I wanted to show the mixture of the intensity of their lives with the feeling of just being teenagers.
I'm glad you liked the portrayal of Daphne as well, and maybe sensed some of Tor's resentment towards her. And you may be onto something about Theo! :P
Thank you for the review!! :) And I didn't think it was small at all, I really appreciate it! Good luck with your exams! :) Report Review
I'm here with requested review :
First of all, I liked the voice and thinking of the main character. This is an angst and of course with a sad-happy ending story.
I liked Bella, i was really confused firstly between her and Bellatrix, but when you mentioned them differently then I came to know about it.
She is weak willed character who has lost everything and is trying her all to get some love that she needs.
Regulus was quite good and I liked the way you have shown him and of course Sirius part was also good.
It's just that I didn't liked the concept of him leaving her pregnant. It's my own view and I never liked this type of ideas.
There are may grammatical errors but it's not making your story very difficult to read.
It's quite nice and I think if you would just have a go through again with it, you would be able to find some error and correct them.
Overall, nice one shot.
-ShellyAuthor's Response: Heyaaa.
I changed the name to Isabella. :p
SO you guys should not be confused.
Yes I get that, leaving her off. But she would not have survived all alone. She needed someone. Even if it took nine months for them to come alone. A love child although she bore all the duties on herself.
My grammar would be the death of me I swear.
Im actually glad that you like it.
Em Report Review
I'm here with requested review :)
This was really very emotional and heart touching or should I say heart breaking chapter.
Firstly the cliiffhanger you had left in last chapter results in good thing. and I really liked that it ended with another cliffhanger but this one made me want to wait for you to post the new chapter.
Firstly with the chapter title as bad news you get a scenario in the mind that something bad is going to happen and thing that happened is quite sad.
I liked how you started with Teddy trying to make Dom understand about her condition and firstly i liked that he was not angry just disappointed.
I have never heard of female werewolf's pregnancy in any other fics and you have quite nicely explained every aspect and that's gives you extra points:D
Just waiting for next chapter. :)Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing.
I am pleased you found the chapter emotional as that was what I was aiming for.
Haha I love cliffhangers, and I am glad you enjoy them.
Yeah I wanted to set the mood though the title =)
I am pleased you liked the Teddy/Dom interaction!
Yay I get extra points, thank you!
thanks for all your kind words. The next chapter got validated just today xD Report Review
After the prologue, I think this is really good start. You have very nicely introduced everyone and it is really nice to know the point of view of those who actually followed Voldermort at Hogwarts, how they supported and respected him.
Amaris is ambitious and bragging type, and should I say opportunist too as she took the internship under Umbitch. the part shows that 'she gave me a position in her department. A small thing, mind you, seeing as I’m barely fifteen, but it was quite wonderful.'
I loved the flashback you showed, where her father warns the both sister about what would happen if they oppose Dark lord.
Also the legilimency part was good,
I have a question, wasn't Draco caption of Slytherin in sixth year because I remember he was?
I liked that she hated Malfoy while in the end she marries him, are you going to end them as togethor or not?
'I know my father would gladly sacrifice both Daphne and I as pawns for the Dark Lord, and we would take it with honour' this part showed that she actually wanted to follow him, it's really amazing how they are taught to respect and follow Dark Lord from the childhood and now you shown their views nicely.
Why she has used "Tor Yaxely" I am kind of confused?
I liked the carriage part where Malfoy and Astoria meet.
Overall, good job :D
-ShellyAuthor's Response: Hi! Great to see you back!
I'm glad you liked this chapter as well, and that the differing points of view of the Slytherins are coming across. They're very different from Harry and the others, and are really fun to write! You're right, Amaris is definitely very smug! :)
I'm glad you liked the flashback as well! In this story I've made Yaxley as Tor's father, though she goes by her mother's name at Hogwarts. It's explained a little better in later chapters, but I'm considering clarifying a bit when I go back to edit this chapter.
I'm pretty sure in his sixth year Malfoy stopped playing Quidditch so he could work on his special DE task, but I could be wrong! If so, it works better with my story if he's off the team. :)
I'm glad you liked the scene with Malfoy. And as to whether they'll get together or not... you'll just have to keep reading and find out! :D
Thank you so much for the review! :)
Requested review by s2rocks:
First of all to hear the story of Myrtle is something new and different. There aren't many stories about her, and I have not read even one.
You portrayal of Myrtle was good, how she was bullied by others and tried a lot to do better so that no one teased her but they never stopped.
I liked that song of Peeves, it was good.
Olive was a bad girl and you have shown her quite nicely.
You have also shown that Tom Riddle was really handsome which was said in seventh book and how Olive was smitten by him.
The yellow eyes of course and that floating thing was good.
The conversation between Olive and Myrtle at hospital was good and it looked like Myrtle was all for revenge and well when you have done something wrong, it comes after you with double force. Olive learned her lesson.
Nice work :)
-ShellyAuthor's Response: Hello! Thank you very much for the kind review. I'm glad you liked the story. Peeves' song was my favourite part to write, I love his character :) Report Review
I'm here for the requested review.
Firstly, you have tried a plot which is based on arrange marriage and it's like unbreakable bond but you just loose you magic instead of dying.
Your starting was amusing 'open my eyes' mission, that was hilarious. i also liked the adjective line that you used for happy birthday.
I liked how you described the manor and also the party how rudy Gryffindors would crash in. Is Scorpius a Gryffindor because it looked like that?
Your OC is funny and she is easily distracted which help in the humor part.
I should say that it was rather cruel or should I say heartless of Narcissa to try and get a promise from Draco on her death bed but it's clever in a sense that she wanted her family to remain pureblood and maintain the friendship between Kings and Malfoys.
The reaction of Mikeala was good and well expected and I really loved that Draco let his children to have muggle things. It meant he redeemed after the war.
Great chapter and very interesting plot.
P.S. At least her marriage is not with any Potter which I have read in other fics.
-ShellyAuthor's Response: Haha, heeey.
Yes he's a Gryffie. :D
And it gets better later.
Lol Potters are involved. You'll find out soon. But not like other stories.
Thankyou so much.
Em Report Review
You have described very well that how much Dominique is scared right now that the prejudices which were before the war in wizarding world would result in her being treated badly by others.
I love the flashback you showed and it was really sweet. I usually love Vic/Teddy fics but yours had made a place in my heart and I'm starting to like Teddy with Dom. The scene was cute and you explained the Teddy and Vic's story and how they have moved on from each other.
Her boss looked sweet but after when she gave her the project with personal touch,I am liking her less and less.
But at least she has the job.
What's with Teddy,why he looked so angry and well,one would be if your girlfriend would avoid your calls.
Another great chapter.
-ShellyAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing.
I am glad you liked how I've described Dominique's fear of being treated badly.
I am pleased you enjoyed the flashback too, and it's great you're starting to like Teddy/Dom as they're my OTP.
Yes, the boss is not exactly likeable, and we'll see more of her in future chapters. Well, if her job was taken away, Dom could always argue in the Ministry due to the decree allowing werewolves to secure jobs =)
Well, Teddy is not exactly angry, he is just not smiling. You'll see why in the next chapter which is why I am going to re-request! Thanks for all your lovely comments! Report Review
Firstly, I have never read any of your story but I really feel happy that I did.
Your prologue is really good, the main feature of one is to have reader yearning to read further and your prologue is dead set on that feature. after one read, person would want to read it further.
'Because I know him I'm sure he's taking his measurements of the room before showing he is alert. He will see that there are four large, dark figures surrounding him, wands pointed at his heart. Perhaps he has not yet detected me, watching, cowering behind his captors.'
this line shows that it was not just an prisoner, it was someone who have experience with the fights and knew when in danger firstly try to evaluate your surrounding.
'Close your mind, I beg the boy on the floor. Please. For if they know what he is thinking, he will die today. If they knew, they would kill us both, these men, friends of my father, champions of my childhood. Close your mind. I think. Or us both shall die.These are dark times, when friend turns on friend and nobody is safe, not even the daughters of Death Eaters.' this is the best part of this chapter,
I really like that she knew that they both are in danger and not one of men present would hesitate to kill them if they knew the truth.
Your writing is good, it's not confusing and pretty clear and catches the eyes of reader.
I would love to re review, so feel free to request again. :)
-ShellyAuthor's Response: Hi! I'm so happy that you liked the story! :) It's really good to hear that it draws the reader in, and made you want to read more.
I'm glad you liked that line, and how it showed that the boy is a fighter. The second bit you quoted was one of my favourite parts as well. It's good that the tension came across in the chapter!
Thank you for a lovely review! :) Report Review
I' here for review tag:
First of all I really enjoyed this one shot of yours. When I started reading it I didn't thought that I would like to know How Dumbledore destroyed the ring but know I feel good knowing this or should I say your version.
You have beautifully described the feature of Gryffindor sword and I liked the inscription part very much. How that ring act as time turner for him.
I loved his memories of his father and how he told them to take care of his mother and sister.
how bad he feels that he had disappointed his father, not being able to fulfill the promises he made.
Then of course his wish to see them which led him to wear that thing, it might have helped if you have shown there was some kind of magic on the ring which attracts the person who was touching it to wear it.
Great writing :)
-ShellyAuthor's Response: I'm really happy that you liked it, even if you didn't expect to!
It's great to hear that you liked those descriptions! And that the memories worked... like I said in the story, he's had a hundred years just living with that guilt, so it must have grown and grown, I imagine!
That is a good point! But do Horcruxes really do that? I figured it was just his strong desire to see his family again that made him want to wear it, but maybe you're right!
Thank you again for another lovely review! :) Report Review
I'm really happy that you requested again because your story is different from others and well, really good.
First of all that dream thing was nice. How she was running and then when she fell, she felt someone helping her and then she found out the helper was werewolf, the monster.
I really liked how everyone were trying to comfort her, telling her that they love her and nothing has changed.
This situation is really scaring her, coz I remember in last chapter you told that she was scared of them and she was not prejudiced and now her nightmare has come true so off couse it's affecting her very badly.
The scene between Teddy and Dom was quite intense when she tells him about his dad. I really felt bad for Teddy.
She is in withdrawal state but she will come around when she would see that everyone loves her.
Nice writing, free feel to request again :)
-ShellyAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing again. I am pleased you like my story!
I wanted the dream to be like a distorted version of reality so I am glad you liked it.
Yeah I figured that her family would want to tell her that nothing's changed since they love her =)
Indeed, the situation has really scared her, she's all hysteric and stuff.
Ah I am glad you liked the scene between Teddy and Dom. Yeah poor Teddy =( Don't worry they'll fix things though!
Yes, she'll come around.
I am pleased you're liking the story. I am re-requesting now! Report Review
Hey. I'm here for requested review.
First of all your writing is really good, I could the fear, the nervousness and panic Dominique felt through your words and that's says a lot.
I liked that you have shown Dominique as Ravenclaw not a Gryffindor due to which she was more panicked and frightful.
You have described the cottage and the atmosphere quite well and how she dedicated she is towards her work due to which she forgets about the full moon and is near werewolves.
Your grammar and spelling are perfect.
In the end, I really enjoyed it, feel free to request :)
-ShellAuthor's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.
I am pleased you liked my writing and all the emotions came through, thanks.
I wanted to highlight the Ravenclaw part so it's good to know you liked that too.
Ah I am pleased to hear that you like the way I described everything, and all about her personality.
Grammar and spelling is perfect? That's a huge compliment, thanks! I am so happy you enjoyed it, definitely re-requesting! Report Review
I'm here with my second review:
Firstly after reading the chapter one, I thought that it was Malfoy whom she left but I am really that it wasn't him because I love Draco, he comes on third of my favorite character list.
Secondly, I liked how Daphne sacrificed her night out just to care for her sister, to do the duty of elder sister.
Astoria looked like she is volatile and Daphne is trying to help her, to ground her.
The breaking of the marriage would be huge and the fault would be all upon Astoria and of course their common friend would support her husband as she left him.
Eleanor looks like gossip queen, searching for hot topic.
“Full on’s the word!” this is the favorite line of this chapter, it looks like Theo cares a lot about her and was very disappointed about the cancellation of the dinner.
Astoria came to know the truth about how much Daphne loved Theo and when she said the place, cafe is warm, it felt that Astoria was herself looking for some warmness, home like feeling.
Another great chapter, feel free to re request :)
-ShellAuthor's Response: Hello, Shell! Thankyou for your review!
I'm glad that you weren't disappointed about Draco- I quite wanted to have a go at writing him, so I'm planning for him to appear later! I was trying to sort of establish Daphne as a generally nice person there, so it's good that you liked that! I think you've got Astoria, Daphne and Eleanor perfectly there- Astoria is rather volatile, but so much fun to write!
I'm glad that you liked Theo and Daphne's relationship- I wanted to make it seem natural so yeah... You're right, I think Astoria could do with some warmness!
Thanks again for such a lovely review!
I'm here for requested review:
Firstly I loved that you named the cat Broccoli, I mean seriously that is cool.
I love her addiction of chocolate and how much mad she gets when she doesn't get her chocolate quota.
I liked the conversation between Parvati and Indie, mainly when she asked her whether she knew the time.
The best line of the story was when Voilet asks Rose about her marriage with Scorpius in summer.
Then Of course Fred, he is one of my favorite character and you have shown him as so much of fun.
I also liked how you used best test test, it's kewl and the part where a snogging couple tell Indie and
Al to find somewhere else and lastly the Louis Weasley.
Your writing is great and very humorous and fast paced which suits your story. One thing is you used alias a lot, you can use directly Parvati Blue second time. I didn't find any fault in grammar or spelling. Well, feel free to re-request it.
In the end, I loved it.
-Shell Report Review
First of all I would like to tell you that the name of the cafe is quite unique, cool, interesting and well it definitely catches the yes.
Second, I have read other stories about Daphne but your portrayal of her is quite different and nice. I love how you have described the atmosphere of the cafe, how dedicated Daphne is for the work and the efforts is applying.
I have always like the pairing of Theo and Daphne, and the relationship, the friendship you have shown is beautiful. The way he is not embarrassed to be in her presence even when others teased him about it. How he helped her to make her dreams come true.
You have shown how much effort it takes to run a business and hardship the owner has to suffer while trying to maintain the balance of everything.
'the glowing smile of a tired mother bending over a pushchair, or the giddy delirium in the eyes of a teenager in love' is my favorite line and how you have shown the reality of different lives is great.
Also the different members of Greengrass family are described quite well, and I liked the fact that you left a cliffhanger, letting people be interested about whom she left which I think is Draco but even then the reason of her leaving him is unknown which actually pushed the reader to move on the next chapter and increases the interest.
I really loved your story and would be following it to read on. :DAuthor's Response: Haha I'm glad you liked the name! I had lots of fun coming up with it!
I'm so glad that you liked my Daphne, and that she's a bit different from the normal. I have such a vivid picture of the cafe in my head, so I get happy every time someone tells me they liked it :) I had a lot of fun describing it, and all the people who might frequent it- like in the line you picked out :)
I've never written or read much Theo/Daphne before, so it's really wonderful to hear that their relationship comes across well! I've tried to make them seem as good for each other as possible...
Ooh yeah, I've become quite attached to the slightly disastrous Greengrass family over the course of writing this... Haha I love cliffhangers! As for Astoria and her (ex)husband, you'll have to read on to find out more about them ;)
Thankyou so much for such a lovely, kind, detailed review!
-Bethany Report Review
Hi! this is for the review tag:
I really liked your story, it's plot is really good. You have shown that how in pureblood families, girls are usually married after they graduate from Hogwarts.
You have beautifully portrayed Narcissa and others characters.
'Leave this castle with the aspiration to do not what is asked of you nor what others are doing, but what is right.' this is my favorite line from Dumbledore's speech and how he Cygnus hated the Dumbledore.
You have shown the cruelness and hatred of Cygnus towards the headmaster perfectly.
The favorite character of the story was Andromeda. I loved the fact that knowing her family didn't want to see her, she came forward trying to convince her sister that the life she was living, was not good enough and she can have a better life. i loved the line when she said 'And what does it matter if he's caring if she doesn't love him?'
I loved the fact that you had shown that Lucius actually cared for Narcissa and didn't want her just as a trophy which usually pureblood male take their wife as.
It is great as in grammar and spelling.
So, in the end I liked it and it's really good and amazing. :D
-s2rocksAuthor's Response: Hi! I'm so pleased that you like this story! It's always great to hear that the characterization works, too!
I'm glad you liked that line from the speech, and that Cygnus' feelings towards Dumbledore came across as I intended it too!
I feel so bad for Andromeda! She's a lot stronger than Narcissa, I think, which is why she was able to make the more difficult choice, while Narcissa took 'the easy way'. Even if she did eventually fall in love with Lucius!
Once again, I'm so happy that you like this story! Thank you so much for such a wonderful review, I really appreciate it :) Report Review
It's really good. Your writing is quite nice and I loved reading this chapter.
I would love to see how this story unfolds. :DAuthor's Response: Thank you! It means a lot to hear things like this :) Report Review
your story is really good and hilarious. Report Review
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