Reading Reviews From Member: teh tarik
503 Reviews Found

Review #1, by teh tarikAnd Just Like That: Chapter 1

2nd September 2014:
Hello there! :)

I'm here with your requested review. Ah, I'm so pleased you requested this! I love AU situations, especially for popular characters (popular in the sense that there's a lot of fic about them). I must confess that I actually saw this story on the Recently Added some days ago, but was turned off by the formatting, mainly the large spaces between paragraphs, and so never really got down to reading it, until now that is. It's something that you might want to consider: fixing the formatting so your story appears tidier and there's less scrolling down to be done. :)

Now to the actual story. OK, I think you've got an absolutely brilliant first chapter here. When I got to the end, I was really surprised when I read your end notes and discovered that this is in fact a WIP, and that there is more to come. This chapter feels so complete as it is, maybe because of what we already know from canon, but also because your characterisations are so detailed; the characters are so well-thought out and convincing in their developments. The one thing I like about AU fic, which extract canon characters out of the Potterverse and put them into completely different universes, is how the different situations examine the same conflicts faced by them in their original settings. There's no magic and no Voldemort and no pureblood prejudice here, but there are other ugly things like institutionalised misogyny, which is something Lily faces in her workplace.

I must say, Severus's portrayal, unlikable as he is, is brilliant. The friendship between him and Lily: no doubt he sees her as his best friend, but their friendship is a rather empty one that offers very little comfort for Lily. Severus is insensitive, or rather he's completely unable to empathise with her situation. You wrote the interactions between Lily and Severus with such preciseness, and everything feels absolutely true to canon despite the vastly different situations. The scene with James and Sirius taunting him and Remus watching on and Peter sniggering by the dishes was so tense and horrifying, and I definitely felt sympathy for Severus and quite a strong dislike toward the other three. Sirius tugging down Severus's underpants as well as Severus grabbing the knife made my mouth drop open a bit, but of course, the whole thing just makes sense. Its a brilliant AU translation of the whole canon fifth year Marauder scene.

I also really enjoyed the way you develop Lily and James's relationship. It's not all loud and full of flair, as they're portrayed in a whole load of fics; it's more a quiet, comforting affair of work breaks and companionable silences. And yeah, I think a quiet relationship like this is what Lily needs. I'm keen to see how you further develop these two. :)

You asked about the writing style, if it was too sparse, boring etc. I can assure you that it is not. It's to the point and precise, and there are occasional details splashed in here and there to give the reader sufficient glimpses of the setting and context of the story. I don't actually think your writing is that sparse; I think everything's beautifully balanced, and you write great dialogue. Flow is all good as well.

As for your use of 'And just like that', I understand that the repetition is intended, and the phrase is also the title of the story. I think it's a good phrase to repeat, and it establishes a sort of pattern throughout your story. I notice that you use this phrase mostly as a summary statement of Lily's feelings/reactions. (e.g. And just like that, her blood is boiling etc. Or And just like that she's feeling the frustration...etc.). Sometimes, though, I feel that the phrase is such a strong declarative one, that the rest of the statement following the phrase kind of lacks the impact. It doesn't follow up with the strength and imperativeness of the 'and just like that' at the beginning of the sentence.

E.g. James grins when he shrugs. And just like that, she finds herself relaxing a bit for some reason, but then the realization hits her.

^ with this sentence, I feel that the "she finds herself relaxing a bit etc." is quite a weak follow-up to the first part of the sentence. I don't know; I guess the phrase sort of sets things up for something stronger. You might want to go back through all the instances in which you've used the phrase and make sure that their use in that particular place is absolutely necessary. I'm having a little trouble explaining eep. But I hope you understand what I'm saying. Sometimes the phrase works, other times it falls a bit flat.

Anyway, it's up to you, really. :D I think you've got a brilliant story here, very fresh and original, which is kind of surprising given that these are the Marauders and Lily and Snape, and I really appreciate how you've given such a fresh spin to a story that's been written and rewritten over and over. Thank you for requesting, and I hope you update soon! I'd love to read on. :)


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Review #2, by teh tarikYear Five: Loose Lips

31st August 2014:
Hey hey!

Ah, I've been wanting to get back to this story and read about the Hex Heads with all their teen angst and ganja smoke since like, forever! So yay! And hello again, Tristan. I love how downbeat and downtrodden and downcast you've written him, and what a complete contrast he is to cheerful Emily Sunshine Madley (I can't get over her brilliant name :P ). Interactions between her and Tristan are so amusing to read about, how Emily gets a tad impatient and almost indignant whenever Tristan is feeling so miserable with himself. He's such an individualistic and non-conformist character, and I appreciate how much trouble you took to researching the type of wand he should wield in order to have some match with his personality.

One of my favourite things was seeing him hex Wood. Wow, Wood is such a jerk. :P Definitely a very refreshing portrayal of Wood! You've accentuated some of his worst characteristics, which are only very briefly touched upon in the books (e.g. his Quidditch mania, bullishness and loudness etc.) and I really love this angle of his portrayal! And I was a bit startled to see him and his other Gryffindor mates threaten Tristan, who's all by his lonesome. They're such a contrast to Fred and George.

Speaking of Fred and George, am loving the way they pop up here and there, spliffing away with the Hex Heads time to time. They're kind of like news-bringers from other parts of the school, especially since these Hex Heads are so absorbed in their own selves and their own mind altering activities to care too much about other things going on in school.

And I love Tristan's Loose LIps jinx by the way. That would have been hilarious to see!

I'm wondering about Laurel and Isobel, though. There's something clearly going on with Laurel. Isobel was hardly present in this chapter; I don't know how difficult it is to ensure the characters maintain strong individual presences and characterisation each time they appear as a group, especially since these are all OCs, but I think sometimes characters can get overshadowed? Generally, though, you do a great job at writing and depicting your OCs as unique individual characters!

Great chapter; I'll be on to the next one soon!


Author's Response: OH MAN, the research. I also did the Myers-Briggs types for each of them, and figured out what day of the week they were all born on (SO disappointed that Tristan wasn't a Wednesday, as in "Wednesday's child is full of woe" from the Nursery Rhyme). BUT, Emily was "born on the Sabbath day"--making her "bonnie and blithe and good and gay." Score 1!

I'm definitely no Wood hater, but YES--I figured those qualities alluded to in canon would definitely bristle Tristan. And as a Gryffindor, no shade, BUT the characteristics for every House ('cept maybe Hufflepuff) could be either bad or good. So Slytherin doesn't *have* to be evil, just like Gryffs might totally be loudmouthed and needlessly aggressive. Gryffindor was so glamorized in canon, I definitely wanted to look at it another way.

AH! The twins--I really like that analysis actually. I sort of went to High School with a guy like that. He always knew what was going on, and had managed to steal keys to EVERY room. Plus, he had a similar sense of humor. Now that I think about it--I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH FRED WEASLEY. This TOTALLY supports my "the twins would definitely smoke spliff" claim, as that guy for sure did!!!

Laurel and Isobel will each have their hour. Over the course of the story, the characters take turns getting pulled up to the front, at other times, they are definitely over-shadowed. Or at least, I was going for that--definitely let me know how you think I balance them all out over the course of the story!


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Review #3, by teh tarikAurora and Boreas: the world suddenly turns colour

30th August 2014:
Hello Susan,

So about half a year ago you requested a review from me in my thread. o.O And I'm trying to get back into reviewing properly, so here I am at last. I'm so sorry for how long this has taken!

But I'm so so glad I had the opportunity to read this. It's been some time since I read anything of yours, and I've missed your gorgeous writing. This fic is no exception from your usual (and very high) standard. It's a beautifully vivid and descriptive piece, the narrative is very detailed and meticulous, and the characters ring true to canon.

I thought this was a very refreshing take on a popular ship; taking both Lily and James out of the usual Hogwarts setting and placing them in somewhere completely unexpected, such as a snowy mountain peak, was a brilliant decision. I love your contrasts here: how small Lily and James are, surrounded by towering mountains and a breathlessly vast sky, but instead of them both being reduced to insignificance, they're magnified by the aurora borealis phenomenon, and by their own sense of wonder. This is quite possibly one of my favourite things about this story: the imagery and the lovely colours aren't just flat dead scenery; they're meaningful to the characters; the imagery is worked into the characterisation, and James sees Lily reflected into all that cosmic grandeur, or perhaps it's the other way round.

In your request you mentioned that you'd never before written a happier-type story from a male POV. Well, I don't think you have anything to worry about. You write fluff pretty well, and in a very sensible and convincing manner, too. Setting James in an environment where he isn't initially at ease with was a great choice because it sort of opened him up, and his sense of awe of both the aurora borealis and of Lily showed a childlike side to his characterisation, an innocence which I think most people overlook in their haste to portray James as the loud conceited hero type. And I love the references to both Remus and Sirius here; of course they would follow him wherever he went - at least in his thoughts. The way he thinks about them (especially Remus) suggests a kindness and a very wholesome goodness in his character, and I'm so glad you've explored this angle of his character.

I also love how you've portrayed Lily, though we see her only through James's eyes of course. She transforms from this girl with carroty braids to something that's almost mythical in James's eyes, and I like to think that it's because she's so in tune with her environment; there's a sense of fearlessness about her, something which James admires very much, and of course with all the greatness and the external beauty of the skies somehow mirrors Lily's own inner light.

I think I'm beginning to repeat myself :P So I'm just going to finish this and say that this is an absolutely fabulous story, Susan! Again, I'm sorry I took so long to get round to reading this, but I'm ever so glad I did. Thank you for requesting! ♥


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Review #4, by teh tarikRule Breaker: The Sorting Hat's Warning

29th August 2014:
Hello again, Emily!

I'm here with the second of your two prize reviews. :)

Wow, what a chapter! It was very evenly paced; there were moments with tension (e.g. the opening scene with Harry and Ron and Malfoy), and calmer moments (e.g. Hermione bringing in the first years to Hagrid), and I think you maintained a great balance between these.

I think your characterisations are very believable, and true to canon. The animosity displayed between Harry and Ron and Draco all ring true. And my, my, Draco is unpleasant, isn't he? In the carriage with Hermione, especially. I think you're writing their relationship very realistically, and without rushing things. The encounter between both of them in the carriage is certainly prickly and rather hostile, and I'm gald Hermione used her Head Girl powers to defend herself. Draco drawing his wand at her seemed rather extreme, but it's great to see that Hermione can deal with this without losing her cool or retaliating in an equally hostile manner. I guess that's why she's been picked as Head Girl!

I love the Sorting Hat song that you wrote! Wow, your rhymes are wonderful, and there's a lovely rhythm to it! And the verses do have the right amount of tension and ominousness in them; after all, there is a full-blown war going on beyond the walls of Hogwarts. You're such a talented poet, by the way! I must say, the fifth stanza (the one about SLytherin house) is my favourite part of the poem!

I also love reading Sorting Ceremonies in fanfic! I think you wrote the entire Sorting scene wonderfully!

This was an absolutely fantastic chapter, Emily! I really enjoyed reading this. When I find myself with a bit more free time in the future, I'll definitely swing by again and read the rest of your fic. It'll take me some time, but I'll be back here soon enough!

Great work! And congrats (for winning the challenge, as well as completing this novel!!)!


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Review #5, by teh tarikRule Breaker: A Predictable Appointment

29th August 2014:
Hello Emily!

I'm here with the first of your two prize reviews! :D Uh, in case you don't remember, or are not sure what I'm on about, aaages ago you participated in the Crack!Ship & Rarepair Challenge and won third place, with a prize of two reviews. I am so sorry how long it has taken me to get round to reviewing! Congratulations again for winning! :)

So I've seen you promote this fic of yours very often on the forums, and I'm glad I finally got the chance to read this! I enjoy AU, and other alternative interpretations to canon events, so I think I'm going to enjoy reading about Hermione's final year at school very much. I love how you've started off the story with so much detail from Hermione's POV.

The flashback was really well-written, and I think you did a great job capturing Hermione's elation and excitement at being appointed Head Girl. And I like the idea of McGonagall creating the shared dorm for the Head Boy and Head Girl, for the sake of promoting house unity. I heard that shared dorms are a bit of a cliche in HP fic, so I think you've done great work developing this idea and making it more believable, and less of a cliche.

Haha, I guess this means Hermione will be sharing a dorm with Theodore Nott? Nott sounds like he's full of apathy. It doesn't sound like he even cares that he's Head Boy of the school. He's an interesting choice, and I can't wait to see how you'll develop things between Head Boy and Head Girl, and how they'll work together.

I love that you haven't forgotten Harry and Ron here, despite this being a Dramione. Harry and Ron telling Hermione she was becoming pompous like Percy must have been deflated her a little. Aww, poor Hermione! :P They should let her enjoy her time as Head Girl before term begins officially; pretty soon she'll be swamped with work, I think.

Oh, and Malfoy is back, I see. I love his entrance, and that snarky comment about Nott not having his charisma and whatnot. Snarky!Malfoy is always so fun to read. I can't wait to see how your Dramione ship will develop!

This was a lovely chapter, Emily! Great work. :D I'll be back for the next one!


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Review #6, by teh tarikMottled Blue: One murderer.

24th August 2014:
Hello again, Kiana!

I'm here with the fifth and last of your five prize reviews! And it's so fitting that this is also the last chapter of this fantastic story of yours.

Fantastic and very VERY TWISTED. o.O So it was Lavender Brown after all. And Lavender really did see and embrace that connection between herself and her attacker and sought to continue inflicting her pain of her condition on others. Waah, how about you just write the twisted prequel to this story, a Lavender Brown/Fenrir Greyback fic! :P That would be so so so so creepy and awful and terrifying.

I love how you opened up the chapter with all the banging about, and Lily thinking she's on the threshold of death, and recognising her fear of death. The moment makes her especially vulnerable, which is great, because vulnerability is not something we've seen too much with Lily being all closed-off to everyone else. Victoire being alive was definitely a bit of a plot twist; I certainly thought she'd died.

My favourite section has got to be this part:

You throw your arms out with a flourish as you announce, but then you feel something slip away. Something slip far, far away. You fear it's nature coming to get back at you. Youíve taken its power, its magic, and now itís taking your life. This is its first move against you. Youíre slipping away.

^ This is amazing writing. The way you so smoothly and subtly write this, describing how Lavender let go of Victoire in an almost dreamlike move. Your writing seems to get better the more I read your stuff, especially your later works, and seriously, you're so fabulous and the rate your writing is changing and improving is so unreal.

Anyway. I was wondering what Lily would actually do once she confronted the murderer. It was never mentioned that she was very good with duelling or stuff like that, and she's not an Auror or anything. But yeah, I thought Lavender walking off the building was a very fitting end to her story.

You walk to the edge of the building and carry on when it ends.


Also, the bit of backstory and development you gave to Lavender in her last few moments of life were wonderful. It really opened her character up, revealed her as a twisted, scarred human, war damage. Your description of her marred face was awful. And so horribly vivid. And I shuddered a bit, thinking of what she must have done to poor Victoire with her jagged stump of a nail. Argh.

The whole rooftop scene on St Mungo's reminded me of Sherlock! Especially the Season 2 finale confrontation between Sherlock and Moriarty on the roof of St Bart's hospital. Were you somehow influenced by that? All the references to 'the game' made by Lavender, and Lavender taking her own life, and Lily trying to crack Lavender...also, I mentioned in an earlier review that Lily is like Sherlock in terms of her sense of detachment and insentitivity and inability to connect with 'living people'. I definitely do see the parallels between the characters, and I think it's really unique to portray Lily in this way.

This has been an absolutely fantastic fic, Kiana! I'm so glad I had the chance to read this. ♥


PS. I see you've got a Helena story in the works? MUST READ SOON ♥

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Review #7, by teh tarikMottled Blue: One funeral.

24th August 2014:
Great to see that Albus has joined Lily in the race to solve the mystery before Lily's time expires and the murderer catches up with her. Lily's bluntness is amusing. I still find her a bit creepy, haha. But a lot less creepy now that she's actually working with someone, interacting with Albus on a fairly normal level.

Victoire is a huge mystery. I can't work out how she fits into this, but something must have happened with her and Rose over that Christmas during which they disagreed...and if I remember correctly, you mentioned a Molly and Rose disagreement as well. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO CONSIDER HOW THE DEVIL ARE YOU GOING TO WRAP EVERYTHING UP IN ONE CHAPTER.

I still think the murderer's POV sections fit Lavender Brown.

All you know is that you can never be her, the great victory prize, the great beauty of the new era. You're a reminder of the damaged goods of the war, the failures.

That's why he chose you, to make you an equal, as ugly as he.

Soon your family will be as scarred as me. Soon you will learn how the great battle was far from it for some. Soon you will learn that forgetting those you once knew isnít wise. Soon you will learn that love will carry on burning no matter what.

^ Beauty, scars, tormented all sort of screams Lavender to me. BUT MAYBE YOU'RE LEADING ME ASTRAY? Maybe you want us all to think it's Lavender...and it's actually...someone else?

And Hugo doesn't even notice the murderer's presence when they slipped in the poison into his who's fairly close to the Weasleys, to Hugo maybe?

I shall find out right now. :P


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Review #8, by teh tarikMottled Blue: One ally.

24th August 2014:
...flailing so much that I can't even be bothered immersing myself in deep thought so I can come up with a decent theory. So I just read your other reviewers' comments for this chapter. :P Oops, oh dear, I cheated. The idea of Lavender Brown being the killer seems to fit, at least right now.

Twisting your amulet around in your fingers you look up at the sky, your guide for everything.

^ This could possibly be a reference to Divination, or starcharts and reading the stars etc. And Lavender's a big Divination fan as far as I remember.

You haven't used a wand since it happened. You saw what he did to you without one and you knew.

^ This could be a reference to how Fenrir Greyback maimed her terribly without a wand, but with his teeth and claws and whatever. And OMG, how creepy is this, that Lavender (if it indeed is her) discovers an affinity for the vicious brute who tried to kill her and begins to imitate him and become a cold-blooded murderer. LAKJSLKFAS

Looking up at the moon, the silvery orb, you see its fullness. Its power. The twenty-ninth day in the lunar calendar is today. The night of the lone wolf.

^ Lavender developing wolfish tendencies after Fenrir's assault?

And Lavender would have a grudge on Ron and Hermione after sixth year and all that?

BUT Hugo mentioned that Rose was digging up a lot of stuff about Harry. And why would the killer (if it was Lavender) want to target Lily? Harry didn't have much to do with her, did he? Or maybe LavLav is slighted by that, I dunno.

OK, now to comment on the rest of the chapter.

Hugo's death was horrible. :( I love how you described his house and the state of mess it was in, the clutter, the slashed pages - they really do reveal his sense of desperation, and I can see that his last few days of life were terror-filled. It's an awful thought. And then to die so suddenly like that. And what's even creepier is Lily herself, who despite doing her best to save Hugo, she's still alienated from him.

The one person she sort of likes other than Albus. Not now. Not when he's telling her about Rose and what she might have known. Not when she might be able to stop this.

^ I find these lines so chilling. That Hugo is dying, and all Lily is thinking is how close she is to solving that puzzle. o.O And at the end of that section, the way you've written it: Hugo ceases to live. is just so cold and matter-of-fact.

I love your descriptive writing here. It's quick and to-the-point and yet vivid in some places, and it really gives your story a brisk pace.

I must say, the murderer's POV had supernatural references in it, and I LOVED them. This is opening up a new dimension in your story, possibly?

Next chapter!


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Review #9, by teh tarikMottled Blue: One golden trio.

24th August 2014:
Ooh, ooh, ooh. THAT LAST SECTION was unbearably mysterious. So...the murder has something to do with The Golden Trio, directly. Harry, Ron, Hermione? OR SOMETHING ELSE? Is the murderer killing The Golden Trio's kids? And the murderer just sent Lily Potter a mysterious letter of some sort? WHAT IS GOING ON. I'm so confused but intrigued. Bah, I'm cursing your brilliant use of second person POV because it adds so much mystery and I must know right away who's next and what is this killer's motive and so on.

Lily's oddly unmoved by the death of her cousin. The only thing she can feel is sadness for the rest of the family, not for herself.

^ I'm loving how Lily's character is developing. I thought that things would become very personal for her upon discovering that her cousin Rose was the victim...and the case has indeed become personal for her, but not in the way I anticipated. I love that you gave her a sense of detachment from Rose, because Rose isn't a person anymore, but a case, a puzzle. She doesn't even feel too sorry for Rose, but most of her sympathy is directed toward Ron and Hermione and other family. I dunno, Lily is very calculating and certainly detached in a way, and I think she'll make a brilliant match for the murderer. Unless, of course, there's some massive plot twist where the murderer turns out to be her. :P Or some split personality of her...

I'm probably taking things too far.



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Review #10, by teh tarikThe Fourth Daughter: The Challenge

24th August 2014:
Hello Cassie!

After a long time, I'm finally back to read your latest chapter. :D And such a wonderful chapter this is! It starts off with that awful, tense dinner scene with the family, and that the lovely warm, fluffy Christmassy scene with Mistress Helga, and it got way more intense toward the end! I love Mistress Helga more than ever; the girls really, really need her - right now she's the only spark of brightness in their dreary lives. The Christmas decorating was absolutely wonderful, and the cookies and cocoa...gah!

And waah, this is where your fic starts to tie in with the twelve dancing princesses' fairytale, espcially with the challenge issued by the king. I love that we get to see the princesses' opinions about the whole challenge, or at least Dezzy's. In the original fairytale, there's none of this; the princesses are just dolls - ethereal and beautiful and silent. But I love that Dezzy is able to feel outrage at her father's decision.

AND DEZZY CONFESSED HER LOVE FOR GODRIC ASLKDJ;LDFKS;L Sorry, these two are the sweetest. And FINALLY. Why did you just stop there, Cassie!? :P Ah, that was absolutely gorgeous. Now you've got to update soon! I want to read more Dezzy/Godric!

I really enjoyed this chapter, Cassie! Lovely writing as usual! Hoping to see a new chapter soon. :)


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Review #11, by teh tarikMottled Blue: One body.

23rd August 2014:
Hey Kiana!

I'm here with your first of five prize reviews! case you've got no idea what I'm talking about, this is from the crack!ship challenge which you won approximately two millenia ago. I'm sorry for being so terrible with this. o.O

OOH a murder mystery! And gah, what a beginning! I've never come across one opening with the murderer's POV written in second person. I love it already. Your descriptions were so...creepy, and the images of dripping blood and clumped hair and all were so vivid. And hmmm, so the murderer is someone insecure, someone who thinks that others don't believe in their abilities...I'm going to keep an eye out for insecure people in your fic. :P

I love the idea of Lily as a pathologist! A morbid job indeed.

The thing in front of her is no longer a human but a case, a piece in the puzzle, and sheís the one who puts it all together to figure out the cause of death. It's not harsh, it's mathematical almost, and if she wants to avoid any incidents of her body fluids contaminating the corpse, she has to carry on with referring to it in that way.

^ Love these lines! She sounds like Sherlock here.

And gah, Rose Weasley is the victim? I'm guessing that things have just got a whole lot more personal for Lily, and she'll be a lot more invested in this case. Poor dead Rose. :(

Such a chilling and brilliant opening chapter, Kiana! I'm off to read the next one. :)


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Review #12, by teh tarikOne Blaze of Glory: I Can't Control My Destiny

19th August 2014:
Hello again, Georgia!

I'm back with the last of your four prize reviews. :) (Never fear, I shall continue to read your amazing story at my own pace! I really love your characters and the whole concept of this!).

Of course, this being a werewolf-centric fic, there will be the inevitable transformation scene. Transformations are always so painful to read about (I can't even imagine the werewolf's physical pain undergoing such an awful process), and I think you did a brilliant job capturing Romulus's agony, and the shifts in his body.

He felt his spine start to stretch and pull against his skin. Romulus groaned as his legs broke and regrew into a different form in under a minute. He felt his claws pierces through the tops of his fingers. He dug his hands into the ground; he needed something to hold onto.

^ Wow, his paragraph gave me such chills. The language is sparse, but so concise and whatever details present are painful and vivid.

It was interesting getting to know some backstory about Marcellus and his family. Their parents represent some of the worst parts of ruthless pureblood society, and it was really heartbreaking to see them disown Romulus the moment he's been inflicted with lycanthropy. I love that Marcellus, feeling so desolate and lonely on New Year's Eve goes to visit his old abandoned home, before finally going to check on his parents. Despite how much he despises them and what they stand for. Ugh, I got all the feels from reading about him watching from afar.

I think it's a very interesting revelation that Bennet's pressuring his tenants is being paid for by Marcellus and Romulus's parents themselves! I wonder if they are aware of their actions, and how it's influencing their sons? I don't think they'd care a lot, really.

Marietta's backstory was really tragic. Ugh, these poor people isolate themselves because they're a danger to others around them, and they've even hurt their loved ones terribly. I can't imagine the amount of guilt some of them must be feeling. :(

And so Marietta and Marcellus and Romulus are sort of distantly related? Interesting turn!

I'll be reading on! Another fabulous chapter! :D


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Review #13, by teh tarikOne Blaze of Glory: Your Hair in the Moonlight

19th August 2014:
Wow, this chapter ended on such an intense note. Like all the other OCs introduced earlier, your two new characters, Maria and Marietta, are just as striking and so well-thought out. I love this little group of friends; you write their interactions so well, and I imagine that with their condition, they only have each other to seek solace from, seeing as they're pretty much alienated from mainstream society.

Marietta not being able to correctly use grammar and punctuation as a result of not going to school is such a realistic detail. It's something that many people writing werewolves would overlook. I'm glad Marcellus is there to help her. He certainly recognises her talent and potential; it would be a tragic thing if many werewolf children's potential were stunted because of their condition, but it's clear and ever so admirable that Marietta tries so hard here, tries to make the best of her condition.

I love how in-your-face Maria is! I feel that she could really help Romulus overcome his grief about Avril, if only he would give her a chance. She's lively and she sounds adventurous and fun! The inclusion of the Elixir of Euphoria was so intriguing. I love this expansion of canon, and I'm always interested in reading more about *cough* magical recreational substances. From what you've mentioned about Euphoria so far, it does indeed sound addictive, and I think you've portrayed the symptoms of addiction very well. Especially with Romulus: despite being clean for three months, he still can't bear the idea of not having some reserve of it close by. As though he expects to lapse right back into his habit anytime.

The counting at the end and Romulus smashing the ELixir was kind of a painful thing to read; it just makes me realise how much pain some of these characters are going through.

Fantastic chapter, Georgia!


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Review #14, by teh tarikOne Blaze of Glory: For a Thousand Sweet Kisses

19th August 2014:
Hey Georgia!

I'm back to deliver the second of your four prize reviews! ...and you've probably forgotten that you won the challenge ages ago.I am SO SORRY for taking an age with this, but I'm BACK now.

OK, I love Aisling here; he's such a decent and caring character. I feel that if the werewolf population had more people like Aisling and fewer people like Fenrir, they would be a lot closer to their dream of Rome, or at least being a self-sufficient community like the werewolves of Rome. I love that Aisling is giving so much to educate the werewolf children, even though he himself suffers this awful condition.

And ugh, Fenrir is just downright awful. He's a werewolf, but he doesn't even treat his other fellow werewolves with much respect; he completely dehumanises them, and declares them as belonging to him. I shuddered a bit during that confrontation with Aisling, and how in the end he let his cohort beat the other guy up.

Nadia is lovely. Definitely shipping Aisling/Nadia here! I loved their fluffy romantic exchanges; it definitely set the mood for some Christmas fluff, and it was a great contrast to the darker, more violent opening section of this chapter.

I'm enjoying your fic a lot! I think you've come up with a set of really realistic and likable characters, and their problems do really fit well within the turbulent context of the first wizarding war. Great work! I'll be reading on. ♥


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Review #15, by teh tarikRed Dust: Red Dust

19th August 2014:

OK, it's waaay late for me and I should be going to bed but I couldn't resist; I was so curious by your post in the New Story thread.

aslkdjlk this is absolutely gorgeous, I don't even know what to say. The pairing is amazing; I love rare pairs like this one, and I think you did a brilliant job coming up with a Ron/Pansy that's so poetic and graceful and strange. Barcelona and its red dust were so strikingly portrayed; in your gorgeous prose, I could see all the bright umbrellas and the coloured drinks and I could feel the city sifting all around them, getting into their hair and the crooks of their elbows. I always love reading about strange relationships and rapports being formed in faraway cities, and yours is the perfect fic for me. I can't even begin to pick out my favourite line - just...EVERYTHING. You're an amazing writer! ♥


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Review #16, by teh tarikJigsaw: Piece #2

19th August 2014:
Hello again, Sian!

Ooh, I'm so so glad to see that this has been updated! And things are indeed very mysterious! This Malcolm Armstrong's disappearance is intriguing. I have a feeling that the Hitwizards are concealing some very crucial info, which they don't want the press to get hold of. And the press can somehow sense this, which is why they're flocking like relentless vultures outside the Armstrong house. Haha, Roxanne does indeed recognise the vulture-like nature of the gathered journalists, and it was really amusing to read that she was a little bothered by all this. But I'm sure Roxanne will grow more comfortable with her job; after all, this will be a first big story!

I really, really love how much careful detail you've put into developing Roxanne's job, and professional environment, and the way the newspapers and journalists work in the wizarding world! Right down to the hierarchies and petty rivalries, e.g. between Amanda Cuthbert and Obadiah Bonnette. It's a tough environment for Roxanne indeed.

And Daniel! Gah, I love his introduction here! OK, Hit Wizard Daniel sounds *cough* sexy and mysterious and there's definitely a whole lot of stuff going on between him and Roxanne; I can't wait to find out about their history! There's something very intimate about that chance encounter between them, and clearly something very bad must have happened, because Roxanne is quite distraught at the end. :( Daniel and Roxanne's strange relationship is like a side-mystery to the main mystery of the fic!

I loved this chapter, Sian! I think everything's very nicely paced and your characters are developing well! Can't wait for the next one. ♥


Author's Response: Hi teh!

I'm so glad to see you back here already, it really means a lot to me! The Hit Wizards could well be concealing some information from the journalists right now - they're certainly not giving too much away at this point, because they've only just discovered the disappearance. Roxy's still a bit unsure about some of the less pleasant aspects of her job but at the same time she's very ambitious.

Yay, I'm really pleased you like the details about Roxy's job and the sort of environment she's going to be working in. It's not the easiest place to work, you're right about that!

I'm so excited that you liked Daniel's introduction here - after some of the hints in the first chapter I was worried people would be disappointed to see him. There is a lot of history there and you'll find out over the next few chapters what happened between them!

Thank you so much for this fantastic review, teh, you're spoiling me at the moment! I'm really happy that you're enjoying it! ♥

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Review #17, by teh tarikSevenfold: something in the way she moves

19th August 2014:
Hey Jenna!

I'm back again, and if I counted correctly, then this is the last of the prize reviews for winning the challenge! But I shall definitely keep on reading; your story is fabulous! ♥

Madame la Douloureuse sounds like a seriously awful character. I can't even begin to imagine what sorts of magical experiments she conducted on her prisoners, and I suppose she really had this coming. Poor Ada; I wonder if she found her mum alive at all in the Madame's house? The parallels between Madame da Douloureuse and Dolores Umbridge were very clever - the names, the fact that they're both women with a lot of political power, and I'd argue that their femininity (Madame's sexuality and Umbridge's love of pink etc.) makes them even more reviled figures in the eyes of society.

It's lovely to see the introduction of yet another Weasley family member. I love Molly's character as a smart, tough archivist who raised her little sister. I think she's my favourite of all the Weasleys introduced so far! And she has a thing for Bones, I see. :P Also, I think Molly is the perfect character to reveal the whole mystery of the sevenfold killer to Louis and Bones. Things are beginning to link up now, between the two timelines, and I'm excited whenever new information comes up, connecting the two eras.

So another false lead with the invisibility cloaks from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

Louis's night out with James and the Taryntula (love this nickname!) and Lucretia was fun to read. There's nothing serious between Louis and Lucretia, and I find it very amusing that he hears Victoire's voice in his head, sternly rebuking him whenever he think of Lucretia. And gah! Louis gets so drunk that he doesn't remember the supposedly important thing Hannah told him! I'm intrigued to find out; I feel that there's something going on with the Longbottoms as well, with Harry arguing with Neville in the previous chapter and so on.

This story has been amazing to read so far! I love the plot and the large cast of characters and how you wrote the Weasley-Potter family with all their quirks and idiosyncrasies. It's a very complex novel you've written, and I applaud you for this. I can't wait to see how this turns out. I'll be back soon to read on! :hearts;


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Review #18, by teh tarikSevenfold: in the midnight hour

18th August 2014:
asldkjklaf yet another intense chapter! I did NOT expect that death at the end. Woman in pink - Umbridge? Pushed out the window, just like Madame la Douloureuse during Ada's time? These copycat murders are both so frightening and intriguing. OK, I"m probably a bit paranoid, but I'm a bit suspicious about this Mrs Coffman. Louis notices she has a wand in her pocket or something. Also, I dunno, her name sounds a bit like Kaufmann? And Ruth Kaufmann was asking Ada if she had indeed pushed Madame la Douloureuse out of the window, and Ruth's a Muggle-born; she would have plenty of motive to attack all these people. But that would make her...a hundred years old or something. Bah! Maybe this is one of the 'false clues' that you've been warning your readers about in your author notes!

OK, back to the beginning. You described Nurmengard so vividly, and you wrote Ada's sad prison life in all its squalor very well. Despite her terrible living conditions and her fate, Ada remains unbroken. She's so bitter and vengeful and yet there are those moments, e.g. when she sees Ruth again, which show that she's just a girl, a schoolgirl who's been through so much and killed so many. I love the title of 'the sevenfold killer' by the way. It's a really creepy title, and 'sevenfold' is such a biblical word, and it really reinforces the whole concept of Ada taking matters into her own hands and dishing out justice in a violent and devastating way.

Louis's relationship with James just continues to make me laugh. Clearly Louis cares a great deal for his cousin, but sometimes James does go too far, and it sounds like Louis is only barely tolerating him. And ooh, Louis fancying Bones? It's quite interesting, especially seeing how he's so possessive of Emily as well. Maybe Louis is going to have a romantic crisis soon. :P I'm very intrigued about what Harry and Neville were arguing about. You have such a large cast of characters, but I can't wait to see how all their stories tie together in the end!

Can't wait to read on!


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Review #19, by teh tarikYear Five: R

18th August 2014:
Hello again, Roisin!


And thus begins the POV of Emily Sunshine Madley! I love her name! So cheery and rather Hufflepuff-y. If I remember correctly, Madley is also the surname of one Laura Madley, a girl who was sorted into Hufflepuff during Harry's fourth year or so. And speaking of surnames, Tristan's is Bryce?! Is he perchance related to one Frank Bryce, an old Muggle who was tending the garden of the Riddle Estate? And he's a Slytherin as well. Also, I love all the abundance of references to Muggle music and Vonnegut and whatnot! Tristan's definitely very different from how the usual SLytherin is portrayed (which is mostly contemptuous of all things Muggle). And why on earth is Tristan so nervous when he hear's Neville's name? SOMETHING is going on! :P

And what on earth is that 'R' in Tristan's name? Now I must really know.

Gah, I know I already said in my past two reviews that I love your characters...well, I love them even more here. They're such a wacky bunch - getting high behind the greenhouse bahaha! And all that hugging going on, and Emily looking into the enchanted ceiling and being so amazed and awed and sounding as high as those very stars she was looking upon. :P I LOVE her little moments with Dumbledore; they're such brilliant details, and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy toward Emily. I think she's one of my favourite characters so far!

Fab chapter, my dear! I shall be back! ♥


Author's Response: Yay!

And GOOD ON YOU! You are the absolute first person to guess the names before reading the end-notes on them!

I figured that since Hogwarts only has about 35 grads per year, and even if HALF of magical Britain homeschooled (which seems high), then you still half less than 100 people entering society every year. Therefore, since wizards are such a TINY population, I figured I didn't want to make anyone up entirely. Any OCs in this story are somehow related to someone that was named. (I got the name 'Emily' because it was a common sibling name to 'Laura.') The Bryce thing isn't really supposed to be a secret (I figured some readers would pick it up off the bat), but there is sort of an "OH SNAP" moment in the penultimate chapter.

The point of this story was definitely that I liked the idea of a reluctant Slytherin. Also, since the movies were set in ambiguously the present day, I really wanted this story to be IN THE 90S. I did truly shameful amounts of research to get the era right.

Thank you again for reviewing! I really didn't know what people would think of this story, and it means crazy much to me that you like it!


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Review #20, by teh tarikSevenfold: all dead hearts to you

18th August 2014:
Hey Jenna!

Back again. And wow, so much has happened in this chapter. I don't know how to explain this, but by the time I finished reading this chapter, I felt like I'd come a very, very long way since the first sentence, back in Zauberei Dorf. I love the pacing of your story, and how it's unfolding so naturally. Even with the parts where there are less action, there's still plenty of surprises, namely Louis's hugely interesting family members. :)

Like the first couple of chapters, I loved Ada's section. The killing of Gottschalk, and how cold and calculating Ada is throughout the whole act. I imagine she would indeed feel so much hatred at seeing Gottschalk frequenting the church which she used to attend with her family, corrupting the place. I'm guessing Gottschalk is a religious man and that his nightly visits to the church are for prayer purposes, and Ada recognises this hypocrisy. It's also completely logical that Ada loses her faith in religion and God that night and decides to take matters into her own hands. I thought it was a brilliant detail to include her first failed attempt at using the Killing Curse. It's a bit terrifying how, after failing the first time, she deliberately recalls her murdered father in order to summon up enough hatred for a strong enough intent to kill, to discard any last shred of innocence she might still have, and make the curse work. And the perfect little bow on Gottschalk's chest was another very unusual yet brilliant detail.

I loved all the parts with Louis and his family too! From the irresponsible and wayward James to Victoire and her very feminist stance, to Dominique and her hippiness and boyfriends with weird names. :P They're such an entertaining and lively bunch - even Molly who's supposedly bland and plain and all, is a potential serial killer. Well...according to Bones, that is. The wonderful thing about your introduction of the Weasley/Potter family members is that they don't always get along perfectly. Fleur and Ginny seem to be rather argumentative toward each other, Ginny refuses to pronounce Louis's name correctly, everyone disapproves of Dominique and this 'Steak' dude and so on. They're such a discordant bunch, but so realistic. :)

And Bones is a little strange in this chapter. She's incredibly intriguing. Louis may be getting along well with her, but I sense that there's probably a whole lot that he doesn't know about her. I'm intrigued to know why she told Louis to send Victoire her regards. I remember in the first chapter (which I only just read a few hours ago) she mentioned not knowing Victoire well at all, except for being the girl petitioning teachers and such. Hmm, even Victoire finds it puzzling. Or maybe there's something between the two girls that Louis doesn't know? Ooh, mystery!

I'll definitely be back to read the next chapter soon! This is going fabulously well. :D


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Review #21, by teh tarikSevenfold: dreams filled with silver and gold

17th August 2014:
Gah, this was such an intense chapter, especially the first part about Ada. I love your description of the little magical village of Zauberei Dorf, down to the littlest detail of the school teaching entry level Charms. And it was crepy to see how der Meister's reign transformed such a peaceful place into one of terror and suspicion. People disappearing from their homes is such a scary thing, and I can't imagine the plight of the town inhabitants living in fear of those dreadful visits from die Guten. I enjoyed the way you linked what was happening to the wizarding world with the Muggle world, how the reigns of der Meister and the Fuhrer differ.

I love your introduction of Ada, the plain little girl with a look of being always surprised. I especially like that description, the 'always surprised' look; somehow, it really accentuates her innocence, which sadly will be lost once the war catches up with her family. Which it does, all too soon. Goodness, the scene with Gottschalk and the other men was absolutely horrifying. How methodical they were in forcing the entire family to perform magic, so they could tell the Muggles apart from the magical folk. And witnessing her own father and grandfather being executed in cold blood before her very eyes must have been something very traumatic for Ada. But I see that it also awakens something cold and vicious inside her: She is going to kill Gregore Gottschalk.. There's something so clinical and matter-of-fact about that sentence that it gave me the chills. I love it!

Hahaha, Louis's section was much lighter in tone! It's a great balance in your chapter! Louis's is such a daydreamer; I'm enjoying his narration very much, especially how he perceives others around him, especially the women. It's interesting to see that he's always conscious of women and their 'woman-ness'/femininity etc., how he compares them and almost accidentally seems to be studying them.

There are so many details that Louis has mentioned about his life and his everpresent family that I can't wait to find out about, e.g. Lucretia, or James who's flatting with him, or Victoire and cousin Molly. While I love that your story is such a fascinating and engrossing mystery, I also really enjoy reading about Louis's more personal family life. I think you've got some wonderful character development.

And as for the two suspects, Albert Runcorn and Draco Malfoy...hmmm. At this point of the story, I don't know anything about them besides the fact that they're suspects. I think I'm going to withhold any conclusions for now! Of course, it's probably way too early to be guessing who the killer is...right? :P

Lovely chapter, Jenna!


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Review #22, by teh tarikSevenfold: all romantics meet the same fate

17th August 2014:
Hello Jenna!

So...a million years ago you won the rare pair challenge and I'm FINALLY here to deliver the first of your five prize reviews! I'm so sorry for taking so long with this. *hides*

And ah, I've been meaning to read this for months now, and now that I've started, I wonder why I even waited so long. This is such a fantastic first chapter, and I love the whole concept of this. Your story drew me in from the moment it began with Ada in Nurmengard to Barty Jr's gruesome crime scene at the end.

I love your evocation and description of Nurmengard and Grindelwald's reign. It was such a frightening atmosphere you created, and the details were so dark and realistic, from the holding pen for transient prisoners to the many methods of executing innocents to those strange red ribbons. Already, there's so much mystery surrounding Ada's life, and just exactly what she did that led to her imprisonment and how everyone outside views her as a martyr of some sort.

And I love the shift to modern times as well. The contrast was so great, and so striking. I really loved reading about Louis's life as an Auror, and his relationship with Emily and the bits about his family (like Victoire and all her petitioning. I've never heard of Victoire being written this way before; hopefully she'll make an appearance in the fic later one!). Aww, Louis and Emily are so cute when they're around each other. :P They have such a lovely, relaxing relationship. I giggled a bit at the part where Emily has to wipe his nose for him.

Eugenie Bones is such an interesting character. I love that she's already made a name for herself with her past case, and yet despite her cool, professional exterior, she's still human enough to bite her nails. And I love that she and Emily are good friends because of their mums! (Sidenote: Susan Bones is a teen mum? I don't know if you'll be going into further detail with this, but it's so interesting!).

The prison of Azkaban was so chilling. In the first chapter, you already have two separate prisons, both of which are rather unpleasant. But Azkaban is fascinating and horrifying - the fact that it's sinking into the sea and that the lower levels are slowly being flooded. There must be such a strong sense of doom among the prisoners there.

Barty's corpse was quite a gruesome read! The red ribbon in his pocket was such a surprise, but I LOVED that, because it linked both sections of this chapter together. I really can't wait to read on and find out how Barty's murder is relevant to Ada, who lived (and died?) so many years ago.

Fabulous opening chapter, Jenna! Can't wait to read on. ♥


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Review #23, by teh tarikJigsaw: Piece #1

14th August 2014:
Hey Sian!

You left me such brilliant reviews that I thought I'd swing by your AP! Besides, it's been ages since I read anything by you, and I've always loved your writing - you're a brilliant author! :) I think I might have seen you post a status about a new WIP some weeks ago? Well, it's great to finally be here checking this out!

First, I love how carefully you've set up everything: Roxanne's life, her working relationships and friendships, and her dull job at the Prophet. I giggled a bit (and then felt terribly bad for her) at the drivel she has to write: Godric's Hollow being besieged by garden gnomes indeed. Ooh, Violet was such a fun character to read about! It sounds like she's way nicer than this Miranda person, but Roxanne still has to tread carefully around her because there's likely to be an ulterior motive with Violet. Digging. Fishing for gossip. Gossip is definitely a big thing with Roxy's job, and it looks like she's quite affected by it as well.

I love the little details, the hints you dropped about the state of Roxy's personal life. The conflicts with her cousins and family, the divisions within the extended Weasley clan, and her possible love-life troubles. When you referred to her 'bare unadorned fingers' I kind of thought that something might have gone wrong, that there might have been a ring involved somewhere. I can't wait to read more and find out. I love stories which get me invested in the protagonists and their personal conflicts right from the onset, and your Roxanne is beautifully developed, despite this being the first chapter only.

The scene with Jane at the bar was lovely. It's something very familiar, very normal. I love the detail about The Green Grindylow as an old Victorian building! And their banter about the general crappiness of their day jobs. :P

Finally, this is a mystery! I'm excited for this! I love mysteries, and the opening segment was so intriguing and more than a little unsettling as well. I think you made the right choice in starting the fic away from Roxanne's POV; it gives the reader a greater perspective as to what's happening, and it broadens the story right up.

Anyway, this is a fabulous first chapter, Sian! I can't wait for an update! :)

Author's Response: Hi teh! Ah, I'm so flattered and excited to see you here, especially since I'm such a massive admirer of your writing!

I'm really pleased that you like the way I set up Roxy's life here, with the way that she's frustrated in her work and the sort of articles that she has to write at the Prophet. Violet was so fun to write and definitely is nicer than Miranda, but there are issues with gossip that Roxy's trying her best to work round.

Eep, I'm so happy that you think Roxanne's well developed already! I've put a lot of effort into trying to craft her character and work out the little details that make up her family relationships and her background, and it's great that it seems to have worked!

It was really nice to write the scene with Jane, because I love how normal and easy their friendship is. They're both a bit disappointed with their rubbish jobs at the moment!

Yay, I'm glad that you're intrigued about the mystery! There's more to come and I'm hoping that you continue to enjoy it!

Sian :)

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Review #24, by teh tarikYear Five: The Hex Head Express

14th August 2014:
Bahahaha!! Oh gosh, Hex Heads using Cheering Charms as their drug of choice? I LOVE THIS! I love your OCs - Isobel and Emily and Laurel...and Tristan appears again! Looking really gloomy this time. I wonder if Sophie will ever show again in this story? I guess not while Tristan's in Hogwarts, seeing as she's a Muggle and all. :P

Hah, I'm imagining Isobel's 'happy intense look', which is her contemplating the bounciness of Emily's hair. And all of them going 'aww' and hugging, forehead-kissing etc. If I were a witch, I'd definitely be trying all these magical ways to get high and happy. :P

Fred and George are perfectly in character! Their dialogue, mannerisms etc. And I love all your other canon details! Trevor the Toad and Hermione popping in to retrieve him. The mention of Tonks - I seriously find it so strange to think that she was a student at Hogwarts who'd just left before Harry Potter himself entered. Anyway, what I meant to say was, your fic fits perfectly into canon.

I think all my favourite quotes would have to be about Hufflepuff.

Hufflepuff: rolling fat spliffs over a thousand years.

And Hufflepuff, puff, pass. *snorts* Hufflepuff is DEFINITELY Ganja House! You've made me even prouder of being a Puff. Bahaha!

I'm going to slowly make my way through your fic! And so far, I'm loving this!


Author's Response: I'm really REALLY hoping that the term "Hex Head" catches on around here!!!

I wouldn't hold out on Sophie--but I promise, there are many more (much more charming) characters than her to occupy the story ;)

AND I KNOW, RIGHT. Once I hit a certain age, conversations tended to go in a "well if *I* was at Hogwarts" direction. They learned Cheering Charms in like third year! The potential for recreational magic is huge! And, I always felt like more adult themes were hidden around the periphery of the Potter books (implications that Snape's father was abusive, Mundungus Fletcher in general). So, I set this story in precisely that periphery.

Hufflepuff is my FAVORITE house, and I feel like it doesn't get enough love, so definitely lots of Puff Pride in this story :)

And just, AH, it means so much to me that you're reading this XD. There's a whole mess of character expo before the direction of the plot really takes form (and being a coming-of-age, "plot" is a rather loose idea here), so I hope I hold your interest!


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Review #25, by teh tarikWhen Summer Fades: solstice

13th August 2014:

*sobs more*

*sobs so much that tears and snot drip onto the keyboard*

Most depressing thing you've ever written? I have to agree. And one of the saddest, most depressing things I've read lately on this site. :( :(


Well-written Regulus stories always do this to me. ARGH.

Where to start. How about Summer being dead by the time this chapter started? I knew she was going to die, but at the end of the last chapter I thought, I really thought, that Regulus would have a little more time with her. A few more precious moments with her. BUT NO. She's dead.

Regulus becoming an unfeeling wreck after her death was just heartbreaking. I mean...he's lost everything that has ever made him happy. EVER. Sirius, and now Summer.

And just when I thought that it couldn't get more depressing, you had to have Summer's parents killed by Death Eaters before Regulus's eyes. OMG I think I nearly shouted out loud when the Death Eaters brought in Anne, and she recognised Regulus and was just about to call out his name. MY HEART STOPPED. Then Bella killed her and seriously, I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I honestly did not expect that. Voldemort is his terrifying self, and of course, he would have detected Regulus's show of emotion and considered it weakness.

The last parts with Kreacher and the horcrux and the potion drinking, we already know from canon, but it was still icnredibly painful to read. All the awful things that Regulus saw, or relived when drinking the liquid. I loved that he saw Summer, or conjured her up, and she told him to be strong, keep going. That was so beautiful. *sobs*

There were cold hands on me, on my arms, and suddenly I was weightless, whether floating in water or in air I wasn't sure. Coughs and gasps racked my lungs, and then they stopped. With my eyes closed, I could feel the agonising pain slipping away slowly. Inside my eyelids was a white light; I let it take me towards eternal summer.

^ Such a good final paragraph! That was amazing. It was brief, but so conclusive, and it tied everything together, the whole tragic story of Regulus and his untold heroism. He'll never be celebrated like Sirius was after the war, and somehow, that's something I find very sad. I love the 'eternal summer' bit at the end. Gorgeous.

This is a fabulous story, Kristin! It's beautifully written, tragic and Regulus's conflict was conveyed so well. Amazing work! ♥


Author's Response: Teh, this has to be one of the most amazing reviews I've ever received. Thank you so much ♥ ♥

First, the fact that you are so talented at writing descriptions and emotions, and tugging at my heartstrings with your fics, and then to have you say this to me! I'm honoured.

I know this chapter was really dark right from the beginning and Reg's life just plummeted from bad to worse and almost every main character died, but well, we all knew where his story was going to end up :( But it means a lot to me that you were that invested in the story!

The potion part was really painful to write, too. But in a way I was glad about that part being necessary in the story because it gave me a chance to write Kreacher in a much better light, and the way he and Regulus are concerned for each other.

Aw! Any time you compliment me on my descriptions and wording I just swell up with pride because you're so great at that yourself! I'm so flattered that you liked the final paragraph, the last things he is aware of as he dies. Your point about after the war is so sad - Sirius' name was cleared eventually, but Regulus was just another Death Eater. Maybe after the war, since Harry knew about Regulus, he made it known that Regulus was a hero. At least I'd like to think so :)

I really want to thank you, because yours was the first review on this last chapter and I had been nervous to see how it would be received - this is quite a personal story for me, particularly the second chapter and the hospital scene, as Summer is based on my cousin. So the fact that you thought this highly of the story is just amazing and thank you for favouriting and for all your reviews. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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