Reading Reviews From Member: nott theodore
  
619 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodoreHere comes the sun (and it's alright): It's alright

15th April 2014:
Hi Akussa! I'm very late (real life) but I'm finally here with your review for taking part in the February Reviewing Competition. I saw this on your page and since it combines James and Lily and the Beatles, I couldn't choose anything else!

The lyrics that you used were really well placed and chosen and I think that they helped the pacing and flow of the story well. The last line in particular seemed to fit in with the narrative.

Although I don't think that there was a battle at Hogwarts in the first war, I liked the idea that it took something like that, the war appearing right in front of them, to make them realise the extent of the war and that they were vulnerable no matter what. It must have been a terrifying realisation for people living at that time.

I liked your characterisation too. James as the confident, natural leader and Lily's caring side shining through. Though we only saw glimpses or heard mentions of the other Marauders, I thought what you wrote about them seemed in character too. The mention of Sirius and his feelings about Regulus, especially, seemed appropriate.

I liked the fact that you showed this moment which seems to be one of transition in their relationship; they're working together and are getting close to being friends, and that moment isn't one we normally see, especially in one-shots. I'm glad you chose that to write about.

The detail and description was nice as well. This was an enjoyable read!

Sian :)

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Review #2, by nott theodoreDear Al: Prologue

4th April 2014:
ADI! So officially I'm here with the review I owe you from ages ago for the February Review Competition, but I'm also here because I haven't read your stories for ages and I really want to!

I loved your characterisation of Harry in this. He'd matured quite a bit from the character that we see in the books, and I think you took what we see in the epilogue and expanded on that really well. He felt like a very believable character, with a few contradictory elements which fit in well. My favourite aspect was the way he came across as such a caring father in this. Hogwarts for him, in spite of what happened later on, will always be the first place that he ever really felt he could call home, so I can understand that he would want his son to be excited about going and the time that he gets to spend there. Seeing that vulnerability and worry in his young son must be quite worrying for him, and his actions because of that feel like they make sense.

I felt really sorry for Al as well. I imagine that his brother probably hasn't helped him to feel more comfortable about going to Hogwarts, and while he is excited about the prospect of starting school it becomes a bigger fear, but still one that he tries not to show. I loved your characterisation of Rose, as well! I know you've written her quite a bit and I think the mention of her was really believable. I can definitely imagine little Rose - Hermione's daughter - with a training wand and a copy of Hogwarts: A History :P

The second part really intrigued me. I wasn't sure what to expect of the story when I saw the title and then the characters and summary, but I think the way you're going to segue into this tale is very effective. The description of Spinner's End was great, and actually reminded me of some places I've seen here.

The idea of the diary as a present and the photograph seemed simple but I think they were really effective and poignant here. It was a great idea to show us the two of them as friends before anything came in the way of their friendship, when it was simple and pure. I think seeing Snape like that makes it easier to prepare the reader for whatever will come next, especially if (like me) they're not Snape's biggest fan.

I'm really interested to see where you go from here with this story, so hopefully I can get back soon! This was a great start, Adi!

Sian :)

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Review #3, by nott theodorePlay the Devil: The Burrow (Part II)

31st March 2014:
Hello again!

I really loved seeing Albus and Louis's reactions to Rose and her reception of the news that Scorpius was there. The fact that Albus was running away from 'girl' talk made me laugh, because it felt so in character with what we've seen of him so far. I like the fact that Louis was much more comfortable with it, which makes sense with having two sisters and the fact that he seems to get on better with his female cousins than his male ones too. I felt for Albus here - being stuck between friends (and family, in this case) when a relationship ends is not a pleasant experience, and it's clear that he's struggled a bit with that.

Louis is really perceptive, and I like the fact that there's a male character here who does take notice of things, because I think they're not common enough in fanfiction and that's not really a fair portrayal. He and Rose seem to share that quality to some extent, although Louis seems quieter and less confident than his cousin. I felt even more sorry for Albus when I read about him having trouble with James; he has all the bad luck! But having an older sibling making fun of the younger one is definitely believable, even with their ages, because I think siblings are sometimes more competitive than anyone else.

It was great to hear that Rose and Scorpius's relationship wasn't all sunshine and daisies before the June incident (I'm guessing that Scorpius cheated on her, from what's been said so far), because it's a refreshing change. Rose seems to want to portray herself as the innocent victim but she knows her family members know otherwise and it's interesting to see that the relationship was going badly before any incident.

I feel for Rose as a fellow tall(ish) person! Short people like Molly are not helpful for our self esteem!

I loved the family dynamics in this chapter before the meal, as well. You wrote the amount of people there really well, focusing at the right time on the right people so that it wasn't overwhelming to read about the sheer amount of them! I suspect that a few more people in her family knew about her and Scorpius than she initially thought she was telling - in a family like that, I don't imagine all secrets stay secret for very long :P

The conversation between Rose and Albus was lovely, and I think you captured the dynamic between them really well. They've grown up together and know each other really well, and the joking and reactions at different comments helped to show that, too. I still don't trust Scorpius, though.

At the beginning, I think you're missing a word in this sentence: "but and shuffled his sorry feet inside".

Things seemed to escalate quickly with the Quidditch match, but I thought the build-up was very believable as a cause for what happened at the end of the chapter. I love the fact that Ginny and Harry are so perceptive and trying to make sure that Rose is okay, and Ron's defensive attitude of his daughter coming out in the way he refuses to throw Scorpius the Quaffle - it seems like a very Ron thing to do :P

Ah, Weasley is our king/queen! I loved the way that was built up through that section and that the verses changed to reflect what was happening in the game - I suspect Ron might have been very influential in ensuring the survival of that song! It made me laugh that he could be more confident with all of the younger ones as well, you just seem to have his character captured perfectly in this story!

I don't blame Rose for trying to hit Scorpius in this chapter... if you give someone a bat and tell them they can aim things at anyone on the pitch, I'm sure the ex-boyfriend is going to be a favourite target! Although whoever handed her the bat might have made a bad decision. I felt really sorry for poor Matt here - what an introduction to the family!

Rose's overprotectiveness over her purse was understandable, too (although as a slight Brit-pick, I think you might be referring to what we normally call a bag, as purses are normally just for money), because everything that's happened in the day has been getting her riled up and she's stretched to a point where she can't stand it anymore. All of that build up makes her decision to take the potion again, knowing what would happen this time, more believable.

The switch in point of view to Richard was a change that felt very fitting and appropriate for the narrative. It's interesting that he's about sixteen here (if I've remembered right) because he's carrying himself with such authority and that would be unusual for our time. This was actually the part I was most excited for (I've come to this story straight after finishing TKD, so more Richard is much appreciated!) and I loved the way that he arrived for a more relaxing time and I suspect that it won't be that for him!

The way he referred to Agnes was great, since there are vague suspicions of her being a witch but he'd rather not know - quite a sensible decision really, but I'm really intrigued about what his reaction to Rose being a witch will be. Then his reaction to Rose - this is presumably the first time he meets her, and her appearance must have been really shocking for someone who was so used to the strict codes of conduct at the time, and the way that women should behave, as well as the way people should address him. She's very different to anything he's ever known and I'm so intrigued to see how things will develop between them from here!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hola! :)

You are so amazing for leaving me this crazy long and detailed review, thank you so much love! :D

I'm really glad you liked Albus' reactions and how he didn't want to deal with the girl talk. :P In this story Louis is far more passive and understanding while Albus doesn't like having to listen to or deal with conflict. And Albus is in a pretty unfair situation - he kind of has to stay on Rose's good side because she's his cousin, but he knows that Scorpius isn't the only bad guy in the situation.

I agree! Louis is quite sensitive and observant, and I'm really pleased you picked that out and like that about him. James seems to turn out pretty erratic and all over the place in a lot of my stories, based off of how the brothers were in the prologue. I can certainly imagine James giving Albus a hard time and feeling competitive with one another.

Yes, exactly! There will be more on their relationship, but as the story is from Rose's POV it is a little bias for now.

Typo has been fixed! :D

Okay good, I'm really pleased you thought the Quidditch match made sense. It was quite fun to write and felt like a really Weasley thing to do instead of having to talk to each other. :P I agree, I feel like Ron would hold a grudge no matter what, and Ginny especially would try to be understanding but loyal. It's quite fun to write them as adults. I'm really glad you like how I write Ron, he's just hilarious through Rose's POV, and I especially enjoyed Weasley is our King. :P I really couldn't resist it.

Exactly! Hitting him wouldn't be socially acceptable in any other situation, but what's a girl to do? :P Poor Matt, I did find that quite ironic. He'll be more scared to come back the next time than he already was.

Interesting - I've changed it to bag as well. :) Exactly, she's just pushed to the breaking point. She really wants the adventure now, and she's acting spontaneously.

I know, he's so young! Of course, the times were different and forty was considered old age, especially for girls. :P There's lots and lots of fifteenth century and Richard coming back, which I just really love writing. :)

Yes - I felt that Richard has some knowledge of real-world witchcraft, but in the grand scheme of things he has other things to worry about. He does find Rose quite intriguing, though there is more to his understanding of her. Richard cuts her some slack because of this too, but he's certainly got suspicions.

Thanks so much for the amazing review! I loved it! :D ♥


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Review #4, by nott theodorePlay the Devil: The Burrow (Part I)

31st March 2014:
*snuggles Play the Devil* I've missed this story so much, can I just have a job reading your stories please?!

The detail and thought that you've put into planning and writing this story never ceases to amaze me - I'm sure you'll get bored of me saying that but you've done such a brilliant job of including tiny details in this story that really make the wizarding world come alive, and you're extremely conscious of the changes that have happened between the period of the books and the time of this story, with the next generation of kids growing up.

I love the fact that Molly was the one who has magically fortified the Burrow and has been the one to make sure it still stands - it's a testament to her power as a witch, I think, which isn't shown often enough. And I loved your description of the Burrow as well.

You can definitely tell that Rose is the older sibling - I like the way that she bribed Hugo with Cauldron Cakes (that makes him sound like his father, thinking with his stomach :P) to do something that she didn't want to, but to make sure she got her own way. The details about Floo travel being more expensive - and the later details about the Wizarding European Union (love this!) and the difficulties of international travel - were really brilliant. I love the fact that even though they've got magic, they don't have a solution for everything and there is an effect from the markets on who can afford certain things.

The mentions of Arthur with the beginning effects of dementia were really sad, and they reminded me of your story Grizzled; the fact that you're not ignoring the effects that age can have is really moving, and it's something I don't often see in stories that include older characters - everyone seems to age as well as Dumbledore. It's really heart-breaking to think of Arthur deteriorating like that, and I think the idea of Angelina, Harry and Hermione being the ones to confront and accept the issue is believable since it isn't their father they have to think of - they can be more objective. I liked the humour that you included as well, with the sneaky nod to Draco and Hermione :P

The competition between all the different cousins (or some of them, anyway) makes sense to me - I think with the personalities as you've described them, and the closeness in ages and things like that, they're likely to feel some competition between the different cousins. Another aspect which is great is the fact that different cousins have different relationships with each other, and some are closer than others.

It was great getting the background on them all; Slytherin Lucy sounded sneaky even before I got to the end of this chapter! And I can't wait to meet Dom and Steak - that's such an hilarious name! She sounds like a really funny character.

I really like the relationship between Louis and Rose and their easy friendship, as well as Albus coming in and being afraid to tell Rose the bad news about what had happened. Roxy seemed like a really vivacious girl, and I'm impressed with how brave she was to travel alone like that when she's still quite young. I imagine that she might have some adventures in the future!

The background about the Malfoys was really interesting, too, and it was good to find out more about how Rose and Scorpius ended up coming together, in spite of all the enmity between the two families. It makes sense to me that the families weren't friends but had to some extent agreed to live peacefully and generally stayed out of each other's way - the point about Ron disliking Malfoy more for his slurs on Hermione than anything else rings really true for me.

I'm so curious about the incident in June with Scorpius and I hope we get to find out what happened soon. I'm also intrigued about why on earth he's turned up to the Burrow to crash the family gathering (not cool at all, Scorpius!) - and with Lucy... And we get to see Richard again!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm so excited about these reviews, thank you! :D I always love hearing your thoughts on this story.

I'm so pleased to hear you like the little details and background - I do love writing those parts so it's great to hear you notice it all. :) I find the development of the wizarding world so interesting and really enjoy writing about it.

Yes! I love Molly, and feel like she and Arthur were a formidable team who worked really hard in building their home. I was really excited to write a scene at the Burrow because the whole clan is just so fun.

Haha, Rose drags Hugo into her schemes quite often, and they definitely have one another's back. And that's just how I feel about things like Floo and Apparating - it's just way too easy, and I feel obliged in stories like this to make that more complicated, and Floo being expensive is one way that can work.

Dementia is a theme which shows up in a lot of my stories, and I like to include some mention of eldercare and the challenges of having an ageing family member as it's something which is very familiar to me. I'm really pleased you liked that part and thought it was interesting. I agree - I felt like Ron especially would refuse to accept the fact that his parents weren't young and healthy anymore. Hehe, I just couldn't resist the Dramione mention.

I agree about the cousins, and it's way more fun to write with some conflict between the family members. I feel like the Weasley cousins would be exposed to one another more than some families because they did all go to the same school, so there would be bound to be some drama.

Dominique and Steak are worming their way into my other stories as well! They're just hilarious. :P

I'm really glad you like Rose's relationships with the guys. And yes, Roxy in this story is very brave and confident - just a lovely person really.

I'm glad you like all the information about the Malfoys - it dragged on a little, but I felt like it was important to explain the context of Rose and Scorpius getting together. Aw, I'm so glad you liked that detail about Ron defending Hermione - Ron's such a defensive person, and I felt he really adored Hermione and would get angry when somebody turned against her - even though he's not always the nicest to her.

I promise to reveal the story... someday. :P It's definitely written, though might not be posted for a little while. Yeah, he's sort of shoving his way in right now. And Richard! More of him coming, yay! :)

Thanks so much for the lovely review, dear! ♥


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Review #5, by nott theodoreRabbit Heart: Hearts and Minds

24th March 2014:
Hi again! I'm back with the second prize review!

I loved the way that you switched between Wren and Albus's perspectives in this chapter and managed to manage them both so seamlessly, yet still managing to maintain their individual personalities coming through in the narrative. I think it gave us a much wider perspective on the story as well, and what's going on in it, with seeing the history and development from two different points of view.

So now that we know both Albus and Wren like each other, but both of them are too afraid to tell each other about it. It's a bit frustrating, but at the same time I think it's good that they're not admitting their feelings to each other at this point, because there are other things (creepy things. Creepy rabbit things) going on that they need to sort out first, and once those are sorted out they'll find it easier to start a relationship. And I can definitely understand how scared they are to confess their feelings, because they don't want to jeopardise their friendship at this point.

I really enjoyed getting to see the two different sides of their relationship and friendship so far. The part about Al's girlfriends and then Ian Sloan shed some real light on the way they relate to each other. It feels kind of typical that despite having girlfriends of his own, Albus would only start to realise that he had feelings for Wren when someone was interested in her. Typical :P

What Wren thought about her grandparents really creeped me out - that description was so scary. She seems to have a bit of a thing about zombie-ness (I don't think that's a word, but I can't think of any other way to describe it!) and I get the idea this is going to occur again in the story... I can understand why she would feel that way though, she wouldn't feel as close to them as Neville and she's very removed from the people they used to be. For her, Gran seems to have supplanted that position and that's one of the reasons it's so hard for her.

It's great to see Wren having a good time on her birthday and that her friends try to make sure she enjoys the celebration. It's nice to see she's got a good support network around her, and people that care about her - I have a feeling that she'll need it in the future.

Aw, poor Albus. Of course he would botch his first attempt at asking her out! But he's right, there's a lot of weird around right now.

I felt sorry for Albus, too, after hearing how mean James has been to him all summer, just because he's allowed to do magic. And Albus is the Slytherin :P It reminds me a bit of the Weasley twins but to a more severe extent, and I'm looking forward to seeing what Albus and Scorpius have planned for revenge.

I've actually decided that once I've caught up with this story, I'm going to have to re-read the chapters so far - I have a feeling that there are lots of little details missing I'm going to need to remember. And if I don't come back soon then just poke me or something. Sometimes I forget things, but I want to keep up with this story!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi again! It is so lovely to get two reviews from you so close together! I feel like it's my birthday! *checks calendar* Nope. Not even close. But it sure put a smile on my face.

It's weird, but I totally didn't plan on having Wren and Albus' perspectives mirror each other so closely. I'm very pleased that they turned out that way. They really do know each other very well, and I think that the way the chapter unfolds, it shows it like it is. And I like wide perspectives. :)

Yes, the creepy things will be interfering with Albus and Wren's ability to say things to each other. I'm glad that this chapter allowed you to accept how they feel, while also giving you the reasons behind their reluctance. It's so easy for people on the outside to tell them to "just say it". We all know that in reality, sometimes it's just not that simple.

Wren has a thing for zombies, or rather, she's scared to death of them. It's very real for her, and having grown up with two zombie-like family members, you can see how that came about. Creepy, but very real for her. Good thing she's got great friends!

We have to at least give Albus points for trying, right? Maybe he'll do better next time. Poor guy! He doesn't get a break at home either. Definitely, he and Scorpius are going to do their best to make the odds more in their favor once they get back to Hogwarts.

Thanks so much for these reviews! I hope you continue to follow this crazy story!

-Pix


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Review #6, by nott theodoreRabbit Heart: Cold Toes, Warm Heart

24th March 2014:
Hi, pix! Sorry I'm so late, but real life has been hectic, and I'm finally here with the first of your two prize reviews from the competition!

Ugh. Bunny. EVIL Bunny. Somehow you have managed to actually make me dislike the idea of the ever-present rabbits in this story, which is very strange because rabbits are normally fluffy and cute but in this story they definitely aren't. There's something so creepy about them, even more so because Wren clearly doesn't realise anything and I kind of want to shout at her a little bit to wake up and stop spending time with the creepy bunnies given to her by strange little boys... *breathes* Anyway, I think these bunnies are scary and strange and I don't like them. But with the title, I'm pretty sure they're not going anywhere any time soon.

So this bunny (EVIL Bunny) seems to be somehow linked to Wren's thoughts. Is she going to get possessed by it? Will she become a rabbit? Will ALBUS become a rabbit?

(Okay, those are just very random guesses but you have creeped me out with these bunnies...)

Oh dear, poor Wren. This summer really hasn't gone well for her, has it? I can't work out how much of this is due to the bunny and how much is due to the general circumstances in her life at the moment, but it's not looking great, and I just want to give her a hug (as well as shouting at her about the bunnies).

So first, she runs out of film in her camera, so she can't continue doing something she absolutely loves, she forgets its her birthday and then she hasn't been seeing her friends all summer, so she's become increasingly isolated. It's no real wonder that she felt so emotional with things that were going on in this chapter. Poor Wren.

I liked Nellie and the fact that while Wren isn't normally very self-conscious about her appearance, what Nellie had said to her had managed to remain in her mind when she saw Albus. It's not easy to escape the uncertainties involved when liking someone or growing up! And the part about confessing her crush on Albus to Nellie made me smile, too - at least she has someone she can admit to, and the fact that Nellie's been teasing her about it ever since seems very in character.

Ah, puberty. Poor Al, too, having grown so much that he's now not got any trousers that are long enough for him. Of course, if Wren had spent time with her friends over the summer it wouldn't have been such a shock to her. I really like the way that these characters relate to each other, particularly the way that James and Albus have a brotherly relationship, and the way that their characters and personalities are allowed to shine through the story, even when the situation is not always an amusing one.

And Wren and Albus are so cute! I think there will be a relationship - eventually - but this definitely is going to be fluffy and the normal teenage angst path to get there. Those bunnies...

Mainly I'm quite confused about what's happening at the moment, but I think that's a good thing and it seems pretty deliberate. I'm on to the next chapter now!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Prize reviews! Woot!

Listen, I don't care how late a review is. Whenever it comes, I get so excited!

Oh the bunnies! Can you imagine the absolute mess I'd make if all the charcters turned into rabbits in this fic? However will I keep the characterization straight?? Seems like a complete and total nightmare. It's a cool concept though. I'll think on it...

The summer really hasn't gone well for poor Wren. She's had a lot on her plate, AND she thinks she has to deal with it all by herself. Not a good idea, but you know how stubborn people can be once they've made up their minds about something. The isolation is what puts her over the edge, I think.

Nellie was good for Wren. So at least she wasn't totally by herself ALL summer. :)

I'm so happy you liked the way that the characters relate to each other. In spite of the dreary atmosphere, they are still who they are. Particularly James. He's just... like that.

Yeah, I think Wren and Albus have a furry issue to get over before they can figure things out between the two of them. Oh, the angst! No, not really angst. Because I'm allergic to that. But, yeah.

Thanks so much for the great review! I love hearing your thoughts along the way!



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Review #7, by nott theodoreOff the Rails: sixty

24th March 2014:
Chapter Sixty! And I'm caught up, and this story is going to be finished soon and then I'll be sad! But it'll be okay because I know there's going to be a sequel :D

Ah, the fact that England are going to play Ireland has made this final a hundred times tougher, I think. Not only are there split loyalties (I feel really sorry for Bridget right now) but the players have come up against each other so many times and have so much history that the match is going to be really difficult, and I think it's impossible at the moment to call it. It's going to be close, and with the Bagmans and the Lynches it's going to be dirty, probably. I can't work out what's going to happen, but I'm really excited for the match and to find out how everything in this story is going to wrap up!

Oh, poor Maddie. She always gets the worst luck, doesn't she? Of course she'd start liking someone only for him to move to Australia!

I know that I've said this in tons of reviews, but the level of detail and thought that you put into this story is both really impressive and commendable. It's like you really take this world and make it your own. The fact that people think that Lily's just walked into a top job is so true and likely to happen in the real world - I imagine it's going to be difficult for her and there could even be rumours around about it, knowing the way people gossip. And I liked the information about the way that they're adapting their flat to incorporate some magical elements as well, but still having to keep it Muggle friendly. There are clearly a lot of difficulties that come with Lily being a Squib and it's brilliant that you're never afraid to tackle that sort of thing.

Yay, James is playing! Well, I was pretty sure he would but I've said before that I can never really be sure of anything in this story, so you know :P

Aw, I love Harry/James bonding time. They're so cute now that the two of them are getting on well again and actually making an effort to spend the time with each other. It's so sweet of Harry to bring the tickets along and let James give them to someone else, even though I'm sure both him and Ginny would have loved to watch their son playing in the World Cup final from the top box - they give that opportunity to someone else, and I just want to hug them for it.

Don't worry about the Quidditch information! I haven't read it yet (mainly because I'm stuck on a certain part of it and I can't find all the things :P) but I don't think it'll affect my view of this story at all - you write so well it can become my head canon!

I'm so excited for the match and to find out what's going to happen!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Yay, sequel excitement!

Really split loyalties, indeed. Not to mention the cross-team friendships! This will be touched on some more in the next chapter, when I eventually post it. :) Dirty tactics? I couldn't possibly say...

Yup, poor Maddie! At least Cato's only in Australia for a short time. The more pressing issue is that he's magical, and she's fully Muggle. More on that in Derailed.

You know, the thing with Lily's job is a funny one - initially, I had a rough idea that Carlotta's brother Antonio (remember him?) was going to be one of the people working in the PM's office, and so I was in his head for a good five minutes or so when I decided this. And I went - "he's going to be REALLY miffed that Lily's come along out of nowhere to be one of his top advisors!" As it is, there's no real reason to have him there, so that's not going to happen now. If anything, the more removed Carlotta's family can be from James's, the better. But jealous colleagues still remain.

Of course James is playing. ;) That would be the height of cruelty from me! Although I suppose I did put him through the ringer before ... eh, point taken!

Harry/James makes me squee every time. They're so cute! Boo for being stuck on Pottermore! I've been stuck a few times, I have to resort to using the wonders of the internet to work out what I haven't found. It's so frustrating at times! I don't mind about the information conflicting with what I've written - it's just so typical that she tells us about it all at the END of my 60+ chapter epic! Bah. What can you do? Thanks for all the reviews! :)


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Review #8, by nott theodoreOff the Rails: fifty-nine

24th March 2014:
Hola!

I meant to say this in the last review, but I really want to shake Cleo's hand for getting McLaggen with a Bludger. He definitely had that one coming, and it seems like I'm not the only one who thinks the same!

It was brilliant to see that James felt like he was becoming more of an equal amongst his England teammates in this chapter, because they're all facing something new together and none of them have ever played under this much pressure with this much at stake before. He's easing into his position in the team and adapting more to the demands and requirements that makes, and it's good to see. I definitely don't think he could have handled any of this a few months ago, if he'd carried on as he was before he got dropped from the team.

I think it's a good decision not to write all the matches out all the time. There's a lot of Quidditch in this story and there's only a certain amount of ways that you can write a Quidditch match, I think, so skirting around the edges of some of them and letting us know the outcome instead can make it more interesting.

I'm so glad England won! And James was Player of the Match in the World Cup semi-final - that's a serious achievement for him! After that I doubt that Demelza will be dropping him from the team again to play McLaggen, even if he has recovered from his injury. I loved seeing Josh Wadcock coming back in after recovering, and the way that all of the team were congratulating each other.

Aw, Della likes Ryan! That's so cute, and I love the fact she did her best to get what she wanted and asked the Thunderers to sign them all together. Go get him, girl! I'd love to read about their time in Australia, if you get any time to write about it!

Slughorn's appearance was just perfect, you captured his character so well in this. I feel like this story wouldn't have been complete if he hadn't appeared, now, especially with the world cup going on and both Harry and James being there together. And that part gave me so much to think about! I love James's loyalty to the Falcons but the fact that he hasn't signed the contract yet... is he going to end up teaching? Will the Potters do it together? Hmm...

And England are playing Ireland in the final! Clearly I am more talented than Trelawney :P *pats self on back* Now I have no idea who's going to win, and it's going to be hard with teammates and friends playing against each other, but I'm looking forward to it!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Haha, I suddenly remembered Cleo vowing to knock McLaggen out a couple of chapters ago and thought "that's going to happen..."

James' new-found confidence is odd, isn't it? It's not "I feel like I'm good enough to perform on this stage", it's "everyone else is feeling just as lost as me". But you're right; it's more a case that he doesn't feel alone, or that he's the weak one in the team compared to the others. Bless him. :)

I had a large battle with myself over whether to write this match. I always INTENDED to - because how can you skip a semi-final of all things? But I was stuck on it for weeks because I didn't know how to write it, and eventually I made the call to pass over it. We've had enough Quidditch over the last 60 chapters, I don't think this feels like a huge omission. Plus, there's now the final to come. :)

Yep, Della likes Ryan! Because I'm a sucker for a cutesy romance sideplot. :P I'm hoping I can write something about their time in Australia, it's on my list of things I could write about if ever I find the time amidst Derailed. No promises, but I'm not ruling it out. :)

SLUGHORN. You know, initially I didn't plan to insert him into this chapter. But my beta reader was forever throwing him into her chapters and saying how fun he was to write, and eventually I decided I wanted in on the action! Luckily, I was able to find a way of putting him in without it seeming forced; it DOES seem only right for him to be swarming around at a World Cup. And in the end James was able to have a conversation which is fairly important. :)

Haha, yes, you should study Divination! Thanks for reviewing :)


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Review #9, by nott theodoreOff the Rails: fifty-eight

24th March 2014:
Hello!

Okay, I'm going to try and stop saying this was a great chapter in each of my reviews, because each chapter of this story is always great, so you know, it feels a bit redundant. And your story reminds me I am not eloquent :P

Carla's so perceptive when it comes to James, and she's much quicker than him I think. But I love the way that without ever making a big deal of it, you're showing how much more they're coming to mean to each other, how much closer they're becoming and the way that they're getting to know each other a lot better than previously. Their relationship is slowly growing and developing but it's not in a dramatic way, just natural, and it's really nice to read about.

Ha, I love Carlotta's sass. It was brilliant to see it make another appearance here and her put James in his place, telling him that he'll be lucky if she takes up his offer of visiting him abroad :P

Ah, it was nice to return to Ryan as well and be reminded of his feelings for Della. I can tell that you're getting towards the end of this story because all the plot lines seem to be wrapped up and it's great to see them all coming together. Look at James giving relationship advice ♥ I feel oddly proud of him, it's like he's getting all grown up and sensible. Ryan's offer with the Thunderers is great, although I can understand the fact it's with Della making it trickier to decide. He's right to wait till after the World Cup, I think, because that could just cause more stress and pressure. (Gasp! What if England and Ireland end up facing each other in the final?! *flails*)

George and Angelina have their priorities right, both wanting to get to go to the World Cup final. *nods*

Aw, Brigid and Freddie! ♥ I'm so glad that they're at least talking about this again and discussing the fact they have to sort something out. Freddie wanting her help with a CV was so sweet, and I love the way that they trust James not to listen but of course he eavesdrops anyway :P I get the feeling that Brie won't give up, much like James, but I'm not sure everything will work out quite as well for them as it has so far for James and Carlotta...

Sian :)

Author's Response: Haha, don't worry, I no speak good in reviews or responses either, so it's fine. I'M GLAD YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER.

Carlotta IS perceptive; it's one of the reasons why she's good for James. He doesn't always see things clearly, and he needs her to keep him stable. I absolutely ADORE her sass too. I wrote a squee-inducing James/Carla scene for chapter 62, and she just OOZES sassiness in it.

Ha, yeah, this is the bit where I go "ooh, I need to do something with that plot thread I weaved in x chapters ago". I knew the Ryan/Della would take a while to come to anything, so it's been quietly there in the background waiting for its moment. And this is it! James is being very grown up with his advice giving isn't he?

*gasp* England v Ireland potential indeed!

The Brie/Freddie resolution is the one I'm most excited for. Freddie's kind of beginning his own learning curve, much like the one James has been on but a few months behind. He's beginning to realise he needs to take control of his own life. James OBVIOUSLY eavesdrops. And they both know it. Naw I love my little trio. Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #10, by nott theodoreOff the Rails: fifty-seven

24th March 2014:
Hi! I'm loving the chance to catch up on this story!

I loved the opening section of this chapter so much. I kind of want to quote my favourite parts back to you but then I think that would end up with me quoting a lot of the story back to you and exceeding the character limit on this review, so I'll just say that I had a smile on my face through all of that section and it made me feel all warm and happy to see all of James's family and friends and girlfriend gathering round him to support him through the difficult times. I can understand them being afraid that he'd lapse again, but I think that he knows he has that support network now and I'm hoping that it won't happen again. They're all so great and I think that the opening scene showed that James is a really lucky guy to have so many people in his life who care about him and are willing to put themselves out to help make sure he's okay.

You're amazing at including threads of humour through this story in events that can actually be quite serious. I loved the part about Lily, Roxanne and Ryan attempting to bake the cake, and Carlotta being happy she'd already made one. And the part about Cordelia made me laugh as well :P

It's nice to see that Brigid is kind of getting on with things and being happy again, even though she's still unhappy about the situation with Fred. She's not letting it get her down too much though, and that's the important thing, I think.

It was good to see that Germany lost to Peru, in a way - it makes it more realistic because not all of the characters we know can win all the time, and it's important to show that in the story. It helped remind us that it's an all or nothing competition, too, and James and England could quite easily lose.

Demelza's scare tactics definitely worked, from the sounds of it! I love how you've taken someone who was a minor character in the books and given her a career like this in the story, and the fact that we know her name and her association with Quidditch makes it more believable too.

England got to the semi-finals! There's a lot more pressure piling on James now and I hope he can manage to deal with it. I'm really rooting for England to win the World Cup but I feel like that might be a bit too easy...

Sian :)

Author's Response: I really enjoyed writing the first bit of this chapter! It's nice to be able to throw the whole family in every now and again. They can be daunting at times given the sheer number of them, but this seemed like an appropriate time to remind ourselves of them. I'm probably a bit cruel towards Cordelia - who, lest we forget, is a living creature not just a ball of animated fur - but I'm sure she enjoys being thrown around. At least, I hope she does.

I've known the Quidditch results for aaages now, probably before I really developed Della as a character. So Germany were always going to lose to Peru. I did feel bad, but at the same time, as you say, it makes for a more realistic story. Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #11, by nott theodoreOff the Rails: fifty-six

24th March 2014:
Hello again!

Ah, this was such a good chapter to come back to (although thankfully not after as long a break as last time!). I felt really sorry for Stefan having to play a three day match! I liked how you included the little facts that someone like James would know, the statistics about how long it has been since someone played a match this long in professional Quidditch and stuff. I'm still amazed by how thoroughly you've planned and written about the game and the Quidditch world from what we've been given so far, and I feel like everything you write about it seems realistic and believable - I could take it as canon quite easily. At least Stefan caught the Snitch in the end, even if his team couldn't win the match in the end!

I didn't think that James would be going outside of Europe during the summer for his Quidditch, not with everything the way it is at the moment with his family and Carlotta. I'm not sure if he'll even go outside of Britain, to be honest, although if he does, I think it would be cool for him to go to Spain and then he could learn some Spanish :P

The plotline about who is going to be the next Quidditch teacher at Hogwarts is really interesting. I can't work out what you're going to do with that one, not at all, but I feel like you've got something really good hidden up your sleeve. Maybe McLaggen will give up and go there? (Although I wouldn't wish that on the pupils). I can't really see James going, because it would be hard for Carlotta to be with him - would she even be able to see the castle or live there if they got to that point? But he might take it. Hmm, I don't know, and I can't work it out!

The excitement of all the characters about seeing the Quidditch World Cup final is getting me really excited about it. I hope that England do get through to the final and win! It would be great for James to play there, and I loved Carlotta's faith in his playing abilities. Either way, it'll be a pretty spectacular occasion, I think.

And yes! James got the spot on the team instead of McLaggen! That made me grin so much when I read it, because even though I thought it was going to happen I couldn't be sure and you have a habit of twisting the plot and surprising me :P He was so angry but I loved the fact that some of the others weren't all that surprised, and had thought that McLaggen was the one having to prove himself rather than James. I feel like James really deserves this, and he's changed and improved so much from a couple of months ago when he got called up and dropped from the squad for his behaviour. This James is much nicer to read about!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Ah yes, the three day match. I was cruel to Stefan. But we haven't had enough stupidly long matches in this fic! And James is definitely a Quidditch nerd. It's funny, that's the kind of detail that I didn't even think twice about putting in. Maybe it's because I'm writing in first person, from the perspective of someone who's Quidditch mad? James is proceeding to turn me into a Quidditch nut. Although, as discussed, I'm now sick to the back teeth of it. :P

James should totally learn Spanish, shouldn't he? Then he and Carlotta can jabber away to their hearts' content. :)

HA. Yes, Jeremiah McLaggen is going to be the new Quidditch teacher. Can you IMAGINE how awful he'd be? Rest assured, that is NOT going to happen. What IS going to happen? Well, you'll just have to wait and see!

The James of now is almost unrecognisable from the James of the beginning of the fic, or the James that had the breakdown. It's bewildering even for ME, and I always knew this was going to happen. He's much nicer this way, isn't he? Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #12, by nott theodoreGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 7

19th March 2014:
Hi! I'm so, so sorry that it's taken me so long to come and read this chapter, but I've been so busy with real life that this is honestly the first chance I've had.

I'm so happy to get back into reading this story! After poor Sadie being so terrified with the events that happened at the world cup - completely justifiably, especially considering the fact that she seems to have gone through more than any of the other characters in the name of Voldemort - it was really sweet to see this chapter and the lighter tone that was in the writing here.

Ginny was so sweet to take Sadie to her secret hideout and share that with her! I think it was great to see Sadie able to relax a bit more in this chapter and I think that was mostly due to Ginny and her kindness; though she was younger here than she often is in stories featuring her, I really liked the way that you portrayed her. She was definitely not the one-dimensional character I often see and I think she fit brilliantly with canon. I like the idea of Sadie and Ginny developing a friendship; this one feels almost as simple as two children who meet and decide to be friends, and I think it was even sweeter for that.

I loved the little details that you included, like all the pictures and why they were important to Ginny; they really helped to give us a clearer idea of her character and personality. The signing was well done, too, and I think that the way you've chosen to write it makes sense and works really well with the story. It never seems like it's stilted at all. I think my favourite part in the Ginny and Sadie scene was Sadie noticing the picture of Harry with the hearts on, and realising what it meant. Ginny's embarrassment was so cute, and I like the fact that you portrayed the younger, girlier side to her here.

The second part of this chapter was really interesting, too. If I'm not mistaken, the fact that Fred is dwelling on what has happened to Sadie so much is going to be the start of a close friendship between them, perhaps even something more, eventually. It's sad to think that something was a secret between the twins, but the gravity of the secret means that makes sense, and I liked the way they resolved that between them. I love Fred and George so much, and reading your story always reminds me why!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey, don't apologize! I still haven't made it back to finish reading your stuff, so you are ages ahead of me! I'm just thrilled and honored and so excited that you want to keep reading this story. So thank you very much.

One of my main goals for this chapter was to let Sadie smile. She HAS gone through so much and there is so much trauma and pain hiding inside her that needs to be dealt with, but that is not ALL that she is and I wanted to find a way to start showing that.

I love Ginny. I didn't plan on using her in this part, but it just kinda happened. And as for her hide-out...well that was just me selfishly creating the hide out *I* always wanted as a little girl. *grins* And it seemed fitting that Ginny would have found someplace that could be just hers, what with 6 brothers and all.

I couldn't resist the hearts around Harry's head. Ginny had a crush on him FOREVER. I had to play that up.

I am trying to get a friendship going between Fred and Sadie, and George as well. Fred's might turn into something more, as you guess. Stay tuned for more on this topic, LOL.

Thanks as always for your friendship and support! It means so much!

- Farmgirl


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Review #13, by nott theodoreGo Softly: Go Softly

16th March 2014:
Hi Jenna! I'm so glad I got to catch up on The Enchanted Ground in the last few days, because it means that I can now read and understand this story!

This was so beautiful, seriously. I don't know how you've managed this, but Thackeray isn't even a canon character and yet you've made me feel like the name and the character appear frequently in the books, I understand them so well (them/their is my attempt at replacing gender-specific pronouns, so you'll have to roll with this one :P).

The imagery and description in this piece, from the very beginning of the piece, were breath-taking. I don't even know how you manage to come up with these images or how you manipulate words in the way that you do, but the effect that it has is wonderful and I always love reading it. The words are so evocative and paint stunning pictures in my mind, and it's a real talent to be able to do that so well.

At first I was going to point out the typos I noticed, but then once I got to your AN I saw you'd transferred it from second to first person, which makes more sense. There are quite a few occasions when it's been changed to I when it should be me or you depending on the context, and it happens throughout. For a while I thought you were doing a strange version of the Irish accent in Thackeray's head :P A read through will sort that out though, and that's all I spotted (I have no idea what 'Command-Replace' is!)

This was a lot, lot darker than I was expecting it to be. Obviously I knew that Thackeray would struggle as a child because of problems with gender identity and things like that, but I think what was the most haunting and touching part of this story was the focus on Swift.

Thackeray's brother seemed almost idolised here, and it made sense to me that a kid would look up to someone that's older and has always been there, protecting them. But I could sense that, in each section, there were subtle changes in Swift's mood that Thackeray was able to pick up on, and he was just getting worse and worse and becoming more depressed. It was so sad and moving to read about, and the subject isn't an easy one to write about either. It affects people in a very personal way, so you've done a brilliant job (yet again) of handling the issue so sensitively.

I also didn't expect that Swift would die in the way that he did. Well, obviously I knew from TEG that he would die in a car crash, but as I read through the story I became more and more convinced that it wouldn't be an accident, and that's just so horrible to think about. It's terrible for someone as young as Thackeray - ten years old - to have to deal with something like that. The problems in school couldn't possibly have got any better afterwards, and in a way I'm glad that Thackeray got the chance at a new life when starting Hogwarts. After everything, that's just what was needed, I think.

Oh, I forgot to mention this earlier but I think that the scene in which the drunks outside the pub were yelling at the girl was really effective. It's awful that something like that was what alerted Thackeray to the problems that can exist over gender, and I'm really glad that Swift was there to help offer that feeling of protection and that their parents are so accepting and liberal minded. It was brilliant because I think that for a lot of children, it takes one moment like that to alert them to the problems they could have in the future.

I was so glad that as Thackeray got to Hogwarts, things got easier, and then eventually Roxanne and Thackeray met! Seeing that scene from TEG in this story, from Thackeray's perspective, was so sweet and touching. I can understand why Roxanne wasn't told about the truth behind Swift's death - it almost felt like respect for his memory - and it was sweet to see that Roxanne helped to ease the pain a little.

This was just so lovely and beautiful Jenna, and there's nothing else I can really say except you've made me think about things much more deeply (and struggle to write reviews because of pronoun problems :P), but I loved reading this!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian! :) Wow, can I just say how happy you made me by leaving such a lovely review on this? This is one of those stories where I predicted not many people would want to read/leave reviews as it's a sequel story and not too exciting, so it means all the more that you came by. ♥

Ahh, thank you! :D Thackeray feels very canon to me as well, somehow, which is part of why I loved writing this. I'm really pleased you feel that you understand and know Thackeray - writing this helped me get to know Thackeray a lot better (*edges around the pronouns* :P).

You're too kind to me. I'm glad you liked the imagery - especially in the beginning, especially since it is a real place I was able to visualize it quite well and hoped it would translate to the reader.

Haha, yes! :P I've gone through again and hopefully caught more of the typos. I posted this in the middle of writing an essay as I really wanted to take advantage of the short queue/am lazy about proofreading, but I read it over and some of them were quite brutal, haha. :P Command-Replace is just a function on Word where you can replace all of one word with another, so here I Replaced all the "you" with "I." (like I said, I'm lazy :P).

I found it quite dark to write as well, though I think it sort of had to be written this way. I knew when I wrote TEG that there was something more sinister and sad about Swift's death than him simply being killed in a car accident, and wanted to show that here and how Thackeray wasn't quite ready to share everything with Roxy. I'm glad you found I did it justice and handled it sensitively! Issues like this are quite moving to write about, especially through a child's eyes.

I'm glad that Thackeray got the chance for a fresh start as well. It was a little bittersweet that Swift never got to share that with the family, too. And yes, it really isn't fair, and I don't think Thackeray would have ever recovered from the loss of Swift. Thackeray's childhood interests me in that it was tough, but not because of parental problems - instead the inner demons of depression and then social aggression, which I'm sure a lot of people can relate to, in some degree.

I'm pleased you liked that scene! I wasn't sure how people might interpret it but it did feel like an important eye-opener for Thackeray. I felt that it would resonate through the years, especially as Thackeray's own gender identity is so unique, and I loved writing the family's reaction to it. I can imagine Thackeray thinking back to that moment and remembering Swift in that moment, and finding it comforting.

Aw, I'm pleased you liked the intersection with TEG! Yes, I imagine that perhaps someday Thackeray might explain everything, but it's a private thing and I felt that Thackeray wouldn't want to expose Swift's vulnerabilities like that, even if he's gone.

Aw, thank you so much! I'm really honoured that this made you think about things - and yes, the pronouns are so tricky! :P I really appreciate how thoughtful and kind your review was - thank you! :)


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Review #14, by nott theodoreBirdie (Speed Dating Entry): Birdie

16th March 2014:
Hello! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to this but you left such a lovely review on my speed dating entry that I wanted to come and read yours (even though you told me not to :P). This was lovely!

The opening was really understated but I enjoyed it even more because of that, I think. There was no real drama about them getting together, and in that short section you showed how Rose and Scorpius's friendship progressed to something much more. It was really sweet.

Haha, I love that Scorpius needs flashcards to be able to remember all of the members of Rose's family. I know what it's like to come from a big family, and to be honest sometimes I need them myself, so I feel his pain!

He was so nervous before he arrived that I just wanted to give him a hug! I loved the way that their relationship seemed natural and loving, and yet there's still the obstacle that they have to overcome of the family names - hardly surprising, when you consider what happened between them. But I was happy to see that it hadn't been a major issue for them up to this point.

Your description of The Burrow was great! Scorpius's confusion at seeing it made me laugh and I loved the way that you juxtaposed that moment of warmth and calm with the chaos that ensued of everyone in the family being crammed into the small house.

Aw, I felt so sorry for Scorpius here! He's right that mentioning his House Elf probably wasn't the wisest idea, but the poor guy was just so nervous - what Hugo said to him didn't help, either! Harry Potter is a lot to live up to when you're the next male marrying into the family!

The reactions to the news were brilliantly written, too. I found them all really believable, especially Roxanne trying to break the tension (it's great that you gave her that line, by the way!) and Ron then getting so mad. Hopefully Harry and Albus can help sort everything out for them!

The ending was really cute, too. I loved the fact that they stuck together even though they'd been through a horrible day with Rose's family, because that just shows how much they care about each other.

Lovely story, and good luck in the Speed Dating!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hello!! So sorry that I've taken this long to respond!!

I'm glad you liked the flashcards. It was a bit silly, but I thought it works anyway :p.

Yay for the Burrow!! I'm happy that you liked the way Scorpius reacted to it.

Scorpius will be okay. Eventually. He'll be kicking himself about mentioning his House Elf (who does get wages, by the way) for a while. The House Elf (I can never remember... his name? Hanky, I think?) will be at the wedding (hint hint wink wink coughsequelcough).

My next-gen headcanon is strongest with Roxanne and Dom, so I had to include some snarky line... I thought that one fit well!!

Thanks so much for taking the time to write such a nice review!!


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Review #15, by nott theodoreResistance : Petunia Dursley

14th March 2014:
Ah, and I've reached the end of this short story collection - I've enjoyed reading it so much! Having Petunia as the final chapter was something that confused me at first, but after reading this chapter I'm convinced that it was the perfect choice. I've also been meaning to say in each review (but forgot, silly me) that I like the John Milton quotes at the beginning. They seem to fit well with what's going on with this story!

The news reports at the beginning of this chapter were quite shocking in a way, and really helped to give us a recap of what had happened over the course of the story. I liked the sneaky mention of Verity - is she actually going to become a journalist in Magpie? (This collection seems to be bringing together all your stories!)

When it moved to Petunia, I loved the fact that you started it with the line resembling the first book, because it just felt so normal. I can definitely imagine Dudley's kids being just as spoiled as him, and Petunia and Vernon choosing to spoil them and splash out loads of money on them. The poor things - they've not got much chance in life with a start like that!

I'm really pleased that Petunia decided to open the card, in the end. And the way that you wrote her taking it in, and all her thoughts as it happened, was just perfect. You got such a good grasp on her character, and I can't stop being impressed with the wide variety of people you're able to write about and yet make each one an individual.

I'd never thought before that Lily Potter would remind Petunia of her sister, but now it seems obvious. And I'm glad that she got some of her old self back here, the one who loved and cared for her sister no matter what!

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 20/20

Author's Response: Hola! :)

Aw, I'm so happy you liked it, and I really appreciate you taking the time to come through it. I'm glad you liked Petunia, she was always going to be the last chapter. There was going to be a chapter in between Stan and Petunia which I think would have bridged the gap between them a little - it was going to be Rita Skeeter, but the chapter wouldn't come together and so I fit the newspaper articles in instead.

I'm glad you liked the Milton quotes too! :) As you might have noticed in certain other stories, I tend to be inspired by and use as headers whatever I'm studying at the time. It's quite funny, looking over them later. :) And PL seemed to fit this story quite well in an odd way.

I'm glad you liked the news reports, they helped summarize the story for me as well and tie all the characters together. And yes, Verity! :D All I can say is that this story is pretty much canon for both GFS and Magpie, so at some point, one day in the far away future, Verity will publish at least one article in the Daily Prophet. :P Ahh, I have so much work to do on that story... :(

I'm really glad you liked the line from the first book, it felt like the perfect way to segway into the Dursleys. I've been having this strange plunny to write a Dudley/Daughter of Dedalus Diggle story someday, but this was my first attempt ever to write the family. I know, poor kids... I felt that Petunia and Vernon would be almost worse with Dudley's kids than they were with him, in fact.

I'm glad she did as well! The relationship the Potters would have had with the Dursleys in the future is very interesting to me. Thank you, I'm really happy you liked how I wrote her! She's so nasty, and I wanted that to come across along with her vulnerability.

I'm glad you thought it was realistic! :) I felt that Petunia, being surrounded by all these boys for so many years, would connect with the little girl who shared her blood. Although I felt like most likely those moments were quite infrequent, it's nice to let her have a lovely moment.

Thanks so much for all these reviews, love! :D I loved receiving and responding to them! ♥



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Review #16, by nott theodoreResistance : Stan Shunpike

14th March 2014:
Jenna, how do you keep managing to write such dark scenes? This one went from something quite calm (albeit sad and me feeling sorry for Stan) to something chaotic and terrible so quickly!

You managed to capture Stan's character really well, I thought. A very big well done to you for writing with his accent to better convey his voice - that must have been so hard to do and I'm really impressed with the effect of it, because it felt like Stan was actually speaking the words to me and because of that I felt so much more empathy for him.

I liked the fact that you also picked up on the fact he's slightly uneducated and because of that he found it harder than most usual protagonists might have to follow everything that was going on and to know what to expect for his future.

Ugh, Umbridge is so revolting, but of course she'd still have - somehow - managed to retain her power and her position in the Ministry and be prosecuting the Death Eaters with just as much vigour as she once prosecuted the Muggle-borns! It doesn't surprise me at all that she's there in the middle of this scene.

I felt so sorry for the boy, Henry, as he told his story and they thought about whether or not Stan had actually been a Death Eater. It was never truly clear in the books and I think it's quite easy to believe that he might have been, purely because he was so easily led and it might have been just as easy to recruit him as it was to Imperius him.

The ending was majorly chaotic and horrible, with everything just erupting. I really got the sense that all these tensions and troubles have been bubbling up for months and this was just breaking point. It was a good insight into what's going on in the rest of wizarding society at the same time as these moments, and the way that they're dealing with the world that's been left to them.

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 19/20

Author's Response: Hi again! :D

I have no idea! This was before I got into my really dark phase here too, so I'm pleased you liked it. I've quite enjoyed revisiting this story through your reviews. :) And yes, it did go downhill very fast... in my head canon, at least for GFS, the post-war world is still a very dark place, and this scene does show that.

I'm really happy you thought I wrote Stan well - I debated a little, but felt it was important to convey some of his voice through the narrative. Also, it helped me get into his head a little. I'm really relieved to hear it helped you connect with him!

Exactly! He was quite an interesting character to write as usually my narrators tend to be quite quick-witted and intelligent (and crazy, in some cases...) so he was very different.

I know! Somebody told me that Umbridge was sent to Azkaban, which makes sense, but in my head - at least at this point in the story - she's still sneaking her way around and lying to the right people and probably paying off the wrong ones. She's a great enemy to have and having her there was meant to show how unfair the prosecution is and how the world is still quite corrupt. Really, HP is no fun unless there are some evil Ministry officials lurking around and being corrupt and difficult.

I know, poor Henry! :( It's a horrible story. I wanted to leave whether Stan was Imperiused or not up for interpretation and let the reader decide. In my head, he was a bit of both. He actually comes into GFS at some point soon-ish so I'm quite looking forward to that.

I know! I'm really pleased you liked that scene, however. It was quite horrifying but reflected my idea of the chaotic times and how without Voldy, everyone is still turning on one another.

Thanks for the brilliant review! :D


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Review #17, by nott theodoreResistance : Filius Flitwick

14th March 2014:
Oh... I'm struggling to find words for this chapter, really I am. This portrayal of Flitwick was so sweet and thoughtful that I just wanted to pick him up and give him a hug. Out of all the teachers that are focused on after the battle, I think that McGonagall is the one who receives the credit for caring for her students, so I love your decision to write Flitwick instead and show how the events have affected him.

The way that his thoughts kept coming back to Grace, the last body they'd found in the castle, was so moving. I think that image would really have stayed with him, haunted him, and it was a good illustration of the survivor's guilt that he must have felt after watching so many of his students and the people he had taught falling. The fact that he had to speak at funerals emphasises that, too.

I'm really, really hoping that this short story collection isn't the canon for TGfS right now, because I'm not sure I can cope. The detail about the centaur revolts and poor Firenze was really sad, but when you mentioned Anthony Goldstein and his best friend I just... no. Not allowed to happen, Jenna!

The fact that he dedicates a day to mourning each of the fallen was such a sweet idea, even if it's not necessarily the healthiest thing to do. Dedicating his efforts to rebuilding Hogwarts and teaching again must have helped though, and I love Hermione for trying to make things better for him!

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 18/20

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Aw, thank you! :) I'm so pleased you liked this. It was actually quite a tricky chapter to write as I was originally going to write about Filch, but when that just wasn't working out I spontaneously changed to Flitwick. I agree, I've rarely seen him written but he was lovely to imagine.

Yes! I felt that Grace and her death was kind of the emblem of all the suffering and pain that he had witnessed. He's sad about the other students as well, but she represents that pain in a visual way. I'm glad you thought it did a good job of survivor's guilt as well, that's what I was hoping for.

Ahh I know! I can't believe I wrote that, especially as I've grown more attached to Anthony since writing him in GfS. :( Until I wrote the Terry POV chapter I cared about him less for some reason. Ah well, we'll all just have to wait and see what happens, but it might not be what it seems... (this sounds so cryptic... really I'm just indecisive even about my own stories :P).

I agree, it really isn't very healthy and I think, hopefully, he would snap out of that eventually. I'm pleased you liked Hermione's appearance - it's one of the few times I've tried to write her but I was pleased with how she was supportive and kind to him.

Thanks for the wonderful review, on all these chapters! It's been quite fun hearing your thoughts and predictions for GfS! :)


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Review #18, by nott theodoreResistance : Firenze

14th March 2014:
Oh my goodness, I was not expecting this when I saw that this chapter was going to be about Firenze! (Also, you got my 600th review a couple of reviews ago, but because I'm in a bit of a frenzy I didn't realise :P)

I really enjoyed reading this from Firenze's point of view. I honestly can't think that many people would have thought to write about him in the hours after the battle, even though the war has clearly affected him and the other centaurs too. (Give me some of your mind, I want to know how you come up with these things! :P).

I was so sad about the way the other centaurs reacted to him arriving back in the forest, especially Bane. I get the feeling that the majority of them would have been okay with his return if it hadn't been for what Bane said, but they do seem to follow him quite a lot and he's one angry centaur. Understandably angry, of course, but it's not Firenze's fault that they got involved with the war or that the war started in the first place.

Oh, the mentions of all those animals that had died was really touching. It's easy to forget them in light of the humans that were lost, but this chapter was a moving reminder.

Is that boy Theo? I think it might be Theo... no! What if the centaurs hurt him after all he's been through? But then again, I think there's probably more to his character for me to discover in TGfS, but even so...

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 17/20

Author's Response: Hi again! :)

Congratulations on hitting 600 reviews! :D That's so many, and within just over a year, and you leave such thoughtful and long reviews as well, so that's so impressive.

I'm pleased you liked hearing about Firenze! When I sat down to write this collection I had a list of characters to write about, and he was one of the first ones who popped into my head. I think the centaurs are so interesting and restless, and that they might cause some trouble AV (haha). I think part of his story came from wanting to use the centaurs as a plot point way in the future... :)

I agree! If it weren't for Bane and his slightly tyrannical leadership, I think the other centaurs were shaken up from the battle and would have been ready to forgive and forget. They are taking out the anger and fear out on Firenze, which isn't far, but I felt they would be quite upset and traumatized after the battle.

Aw, I'm glad you liked the animals! I imagined that Firenze would be especially attune to their sacrifice.

Hehe, it could be... :) Only one novel and a few chapters to go until we reach this point in Tor's story, and I'm quite excited for it.

Thanks for the lovely review, my dear! :)


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Review #19, by nott theodoreResistance : Thanatos Nott

14th March 2014:
Hi again! I've wanted to read this for a while and though I'm not up-to-date with your other stories I thought this would be a great opportunity for it!

This was a great chapter for a short story collection! Of course, now I know that Pyxis will survive the war, but there was no mention of Theo so he could be one of those who was mentioned as being dead in TGfS... anyway. This was brilliant, really.

You captured Nott's character so well, I thought. I know that all we ever see of him in canon is a name, but I think that you showed two conflicting sides to his personality here and yet again succeeded in making the Death Eaters seem that little bit more human. I loved the fact that his first thought - the first thought that we see, anyway - was about his sons, and wanting to know where they are. That really shows how much he loves them and gives him that human side, stopping him from becoming a monster.

And yet, at the same time, he seems to completely lack remorse for what he's done. Which isn't surprising, given how soon after the end of the battle is, but I think that's really good to show in this story. He still doesn't care that he's killed people, not even when he's confronted with poor Andromeda, but that ties in well with the fact that we know he believed in and supported the Death Eater cause, and must have been willing to do what he did.

I also loved the AV - Apres Voldemort. If it was actually called that it would be really funny :P I want to know what happened to Theo, though!

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 16/20

Author's Response: Hi Sian! :) You are so wonderful for spoiling me with all these reviews and reading this story, really. It's especially exciting since you've read GFS and Magpie so can spot all the little clues and spoilers. :P

Yes, Pyxis survives the battle. :) Part of the problem with writing this was that now I have to hold true to all these decisions I made last year... but Pyxis was always going to survive, I like him too much. :) Hehe.

I'm pleased you liked Nott! I've been writing him a lot in GFS lately and using this as backup for his character, and I'm pleased you like him. He has that dual identity of being a father and a Death Eater, and though he's not a monster he's far from being a hero.

And yes! I really don't think this story redeems him at all. And poor Andromeda... AH this reminded me of something in GFS that needs to come up soon! Thanks! :P

I'm glad you liked the AV! It helped to situate it, but seemed to suit the story as well.

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :D


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Review #20, by nott theodoreNoble: Noble

14th March 2014:
I wanted to check out what you'd written for the Blackout and I'm so impressed (I should probably stop being surprised, but the quality of your writing is always so high that I can't be) at what you managed to write so quickly for the challenge. Also, your banner is absolutely terrifying!

I'm so glad that you decided to write about Morfin Gaunt when you had to write a Slytherin one-shot - you know how much I love my minor characters and I've never seen any story that even vaguely touches him before, so it was a new experience to read about. And he fits the Slytherin theme so perfectly, with his family name.

I liked the fact that he did get sent to Hogwarts (of course, only after persuasion from a pureblood wizard, in which you managed to really quickly show the prejudices that they're imbibed with) but was expelled from the school within a week. From what we saw of him in the memories in the sixth book, I'm not at all surprised, because his behaviour never seemed to have met any restrictions from his father.

Aw, I felt so sorry for Merope when you mentioned her! And the part about her mother, as well - it's so sad that the mother and her daughter both had to suffer the same fate, dying in childbirth.

The imagery in this piece was spectacular - how do you do it? Seriously, you wrote this so quickly and yet it's flawless. That's definitely not fair! But I loved reading it, and the ending, those last few lines - perfect. It is how he was treated and I think that it serves to remind us of the others who suffered similarly, the ones who went to Azkaban and never left.

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 15/20

Author's Response: Hola! :)

Aw, I'm so gad you liked this! :) It was fun to write, although I had no idea what people might think of it so it's been nice to get such lovely feedback. It really is, eh? Ande is so talented, she did a perfect job with the creepiness. :P

Yes! I've sort of wanted to write something about him for a while and this felt like the perfect chance. I figured he would be a unique Slytherin to write about, since he was of the bloodline but never really was in Slytherin at Hogwarts (well, in this story he was for like a week I guess, but he probably wasn't really in canon).

I'm pleased you liked how he did go, however. Yes, he really wasn't properly socialized, and though I think he would have had magic he had no idea how to control it really. Definitely not Hogwarts material, he'd be too much of a wild card.

I know, poor Merope. :( I agree, it is very sad, and neither of them would have had the proper care or anybody really taking care of them when they died. Merope was such a pitiable character in HP and I wanted to show that.

Thank you! :) You're too sweet, really, I had a lot of fun writing this and I'm just glad it all came together. And yes, Morfin had a terrible life and a tragic ending, and he never really stood a chance.

Thanks so much for the amazing review, dear! :D


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Review #21, by nott theodorePrison Hearts - Speed Dating Entry: Prison Hearts

14th March 2014:
So I've decided to take this part of the challenge as an opportunity to review bomb you, can you tell? :P

I actually meant to try and get through all of the Speed Dating entries but life went and got in the way, so it's been great to get to catch up with them while we've been having this battle. I would honestly never have thought to write a story about Bellatrix for the Valentine's Day challenge!

I've read your partner's entry as well and while that was really funny, you're right to say this one was a little creepy. But to be honest, I think that works much better with Bellatrix than any other style, because she is creepy and extremely crazy. I've read two stories in the last two days that get into her head really well, and now I'm starting to get worried about some of you Slytherins :P

I loved the split in Bellatrix's thoughts when it came to the main 'loves' in her life. The way she thought about Rodolphus definitely didn't surprise me, although I liked the fact that you included some memories in which they had been a good team and cared about each other. His sentimentality is quite touching, actually - what a pity he's married to Bellatrix! And of course you couldn't have written about her without including the Dark Lord, her one true love in life. Her thoughts about him were just so perfect, that adoration and the fact that it was the thought of him who got her through her time in Azkaban.

Yet another story of yours that I loved!

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 14/20

Author's Response: Hi Sian! :) Hehe, review bombing is always appreciated! ♥

Ah, I feel the same way! Bellatrix was so scary - I suggested her and Roddy to my partner along with a bunch of other ideas, and she liked this one, and so our Roddy/Bella one-shots were born! :P

I'm glad you found it creepy! And yes, I think it suits her well. Hehe, I think she took over my brain for a bit when writing this - we don't really have much in common, I swear! :P

I'm glad you liked her different ways of thinking about Roddy, and I imagined the relationship would have some good moments as well. I know, he's a good guy other than all the murdering and such! Haha, of course she loves Voldy more than anyone, however. I'm pleased you liked that as well.

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :)


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Review #22, by nott theodoreGuilt : Guilt

14th March 2014:
Wow... Jenna, I have no idea how you manage to write so many stories that are all so amazing, but this one has given me chills. It was just so... creepy. Really, you captured the essence of the Edgar Allen Poe poem brilliantly, and at times parts of the story read almost like a poem themselves. The quote from the Bible was really well placed, too; I could tell from the outset that it was going to be scary and Scorpius was going to be punished for what had happened in the past.

I felt so sorry for Scorpius in this piece. The way you described the ghosts is so haunting, and I can imagine that would be enough to completely traumatise a boy that's so young for the rest of his life. They seemed almost greedy, and I loved the description that you put into them, especially since he didn't seem to know exactly who they were, whereas we could recognise people like Bellatrix. Not knowing them would make them all the more terrifying.

Ugh, I really hope that the family move out of that house soon, or Scorpius is not going to have any chance. I just thought this was so fantastic, and I loved reading it and all the detail you included. Especially in 1000 words too - knowing how long your chapters often are, that's a real achievement! :P

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 13/20

Author's Response: Hello again! :)

Hehe, I'm glad you found it so creepy! It's been quite fun hearing people's responses to this story and what they think of it. I'm glad you thought it did a good job of emanating Poe and that it read like a poem at some parts - I wanted it to fall into a certain rhythm which was disrupted and broken up frequently. I'm pleased you liked the quote from the bible as well - I googled "generational guilt" and apparently it's a debated reading of the Bible, so that theme really fit perfectly into the story.

So do I. :( The poor boy, he really didn't deserve to be punished. It would be terrifying, even more so because they're quite gruesome and they are his family. Greedy! Yes, that's just how I saw them. I'm pleased you liked how we could recognize them but Scorpius couldn't necessarily.

I know! I felt that Scorpius probably wouldn't tell his parents about the ghosts, or they wouldn't believe him. In a way, they are sort of a figment of his mind, but also all too real. Haha, you know my writing too well! :P I was so proud of myself for having such a short story!

Thank you for the wonderful review, it was such a joy to read! :D


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Review #23, by nott theodoreGrizzled: Grizzled

14th March 2014:
Hi Jenna!

Oh, this was so sad! I was scanning your page and realised that, even though I'd always intended to, somehow I'd never read or reviewed this story, which was the first one I remember everyone talking about when we were new on the forums! I've seriously missed out for almost a year, because this was so beautiful and moving.

Dementia is such a horrible thing, and I think that you dealt with a sensitive topic really well. I felt so sorry for Bill here; I've had my own experiences with this illness in the family, but I think for it to be your life partner who is suffering from it would be worse than anything. At times, it seems like they're a completely different person to the one love, and that makes this story even more heart-breaking.

I loved the way that you set the story up with mentioning all the torments that those who had been in the war suffered and still suffer, and then to see Bill (who was always the handsome one!) charming all the ladies and the nurses in the care home. When Fleur came and was so horrible, I really felt for him. I can understand why the nurses would be angry with her, but I loved that you explained why Bill couldn't be.

All of those memories that you used to explore Bill and Fleur's relationship were just so perfect and touching. You captured them so well, particularly Fleur as a really strong woman and Bill's love for her. Every detail just made the story more moving and upsetting.

But still beautiful ♥

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 12/20

Author's Response: Hi Sian! :)

Wow, this review took me right back to that time when this, GfS and Derwent Demented were my only stories! The good old days, haha. :P I'm so glad you liked this, and it was really lovely getting your reflections on it!

I'm glad you thought I handled it well. It's a subject which is very important to me - I'm actually writing a non-fiction piece about it now in RL. It means a lot to hear from people who have similar experiences in their own families, because I know how difficult it is and wanted to do it justice. I agree, I can't imagine how difficult it would be to see your partner change like this.

I'm glad you liked Bill here! He seems so charming and good-natured to me, and I felt he would continue to have a positive attitude throughout his life. I know, I felt so sorry for doing this to them as well. :( Bill knows that it's the disease talking, and he wants to be there for her no matter what.

Aw, I felt those moments were so important to show how they've grown more in love as time went on. It's always the most tragic, to see how somebody has changed. I'm really glad you thought I wrote them well.

Thank you so much for the lovely review! ♥


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Review #24, by nott theodoreJourney to the Centre of (Molly’s) World in (Less than) 80 Days: Take It Easy

14th March 2014:
Hi again! I'm actually quite sad that this is the last chapter you've posted so far, because I want to be able to read more of your story!

The beginning of this chapter was really effective after the content of the last one. It seemed really contrasted and I loved your description as you wrote about the type of travel and the two of them falling to the ground.

Haha, Heath made me laugh so much. I really enjoyed reading things more from his perspective in this chapter, and seeing how pathetic he was when he broke his arm. (I'm with him, I have an awful pain threshold.) And then Molly was so practical about the whole situation, which seemed in character with what we've learnt about her so far and also what she explained about the Auror training. It was nice seeing her in the role that is the practical, sensible one - she actually reminded me a bit of Hermione in this chapter, and one of her lines was very similar to one from the first book :P

Oh, poor Heath! Fainting, that must be embarrassing for him! Luckily Molly didn't take too much notice!

I liked the description about the stones at Carnac, and the differences once again in what people have learnt according to where they come from. It all felt very realistic. I really like Molly, too - she's pretty awesome, being able to do all of those things, and I don't blame Heath for admiring her. I think that could turn into something more quite soon, especially with a trip to Paris coming up...

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 11/20

Author's Response: More chapters will definitely come... Eventually. I just don't know when right now :(

Heath is actually the most adorable thing ever. I reckon his reactions are what everyone's reactions are on the inside when they're trying to put up a brave front. My pain threshold is practically negative, so I'd probably be lying there rolling around on the ground and crying like Draco when he was "attacked" by Buckbeak in the third film.

Molly is really, REALLY efficient. Ain't nobody got time for fear and panic in her book! I should change the title of this story to "Molly Is a Boss and Heath Is Pathetic"!

And yes, I really don't help stamp out any shipping rumours between these two with the next chapter!


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Review #25, by nott theodoreJourney to the Centre of (Molly’s) World in (Less than) 80 Days: Uncharted

14th March 2014:
Hi there, back again! I'm really enjoying the chance to read this story for the Blackout Bingo!

Haha, I loved the way that you started writing this chapter, with Molly waiting for Heath and being assaulted by Raj's awful singing! I felt a bit sorry for Heath there, actually, because he seemed really prepared to be friendly and nice to Molly, but she was all grumpy and rejected his niceness. I think she's going to have to change and develop a lot in this story, especially if the rest of this chapter is anything to go by!

Oh my goodness, I can't even believe that you wrote about the first Molly Weasley as a hippy! The images I now have in my head from that are absolutely hilarious, and the whole chapter was full of funny moments which made me laugh (cue awkward moments because I'm reading this in public).

I loved the fact that they started off the journey at Stonehenge, and that you picked up on the culture differences between Heath and Molly. But the descriptions were brilliant, especially if you've never been there before! The hippy guy that showed them around was fantastic and made me laugh so much but I was really intrigued about what he said about the two of them being partners - does it mean romantically? :P

Then there's the fact that Stonehenge is just this giant portal, so I'm excited about where they'll end up. And then there's the fact they don't seem to be using traditional magical travel which is really cool!

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 10/20

Author's Response: I'm a bad singer and therefor Raj too is a bad singer. Poor Raj, having his author's more terrible qualities pushed upon him! Heath's just really chill and then he meets Molly who basically hates the world right now and he doesn't really know what to do with that. It makes for an interesting dynamic.

Wouldn't it be totally awesome if the first Molly Weasley was a hippie, though? Totally awesome, and you can see how her romance with Arthur might be influenced by that!

I'm really bad with description, so that you thought that it was done well means a lot to me! And who knows with these two if it's going to be romantic or not? ;P

In my head, Stonehenge can be nothing but an ancient transportation device. That is the only reason one would build a circle of stones in the middle of the English countryside! No one else can convince me otherwise!


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