Reading Reviews From Member: nott theodore
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Review #1, by nott theodoreLogarithmic: (16)

30th December 2017:
Val Val Vaaal ♥

(I hope you realise that me now being up to date with this story means that I can poke you for updates, yes? :P Just to - ahem - warn you.)

Opening this chapter with that letter from Vince was a bit of a tease, really, putting off letting us know exactly who Eloise was with when she left home. But I think it also said a lot about Vince and Eloise's relationship - he really cares about her and wants her to be safe, but he trusts her judgement too, and respects her choice.

I loved the way that you transitioned from the letter into the really easy conversation with Saoirse; even though the topic is a bit of a difficult one, and Siobhan has a very different perspective on it to Eloise, I thought it showed how effortless her presence at the McLaggens' seemed to be, and how well she fit in with the family.

Saoirse is awesome. She's just so welcoming and lovely, and she really reminds me of a lot of some people in my own family. I think the fact that she's not trying to tell Eloise what to do when that's part of the reason that Eloise is there, and that she's welcomed so many people into their home before, says a lot about her character.

The descriptions of the McLaggen home were so lovely - even though it was smaller than the Midgeons', you could just tell that there was so much love and life there and that Eloise felt really happy there. I liked the way that she was accepted by his family and the Shakespeare bond with Aoibheann ♥

(Side note: I like the fact that Aoibheann is so frank with Cormac about the fact he's in love with Eloise and that he talks to her about that sort of thing.)

The family are so cute and lovely and I really want to dive through the screen and give them all a hug, please.

The conversation between Cormac and Eloise was so brilliant - I loved reading the dynamic between them, and the way that they've been kind of hovering between a relationship and friendship for a while, dancing around each other during this holiday. Eloise gives excellent advice, too, and her passion for Healing is so lovely. I loved getting to find out more about Cormac, too, and the answer that he gives about what matters most to him - protecting the people he loves - is so sweet. Honestly, what are you doing to me with this story, Val??

The ending is so taunting. You're a mean, mean author, you know that? I'm hoping that Cormac's plan to make her stew isn't going to be particularly successful, because I can't wait to read more about the two of these together, and I would rather you didn't make me wait while Cormac makes Eloise stew, thank you very much :P

This was a wonderful chapter and I'm so glad that I'm all caught up with this story now - now for the excessive (and probably irritating oops) cheerleading to begin! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #2, by nott theodoreLogarithmic: (15)

30th December 2017:
(Don't let uni eat you alive. I can't have that happening, okay?)

Ah, the opening of this chapter was so amazing! You wrote it really well - the sense of detachment between what was happening and all the sensory things going on around Eloise, and the emotions that she's feeling. You described everything so well, and the fact that Eloise has kind of disconnected from herself as her mind tries to protect her from the grief and horror of losing Dumbledore. It was just so effective and I was so absorbed in the moment with that scene.


I mean, I guess it isn't technically a party, but still.

Seeing him at Eloise's bedside when she woke up and hearing that he insisted on staying there and that he carried her there because her friends couldn't was just so squee-worthy. I loved the confession that came from him and the fact that these two are (hopefully) going to finally stop dancing around each other and pining for each other and actually get together. I'M SO EXCITED. (In case you couldn't tell.) He hasn't quite said everything yet, but the feelings are there and I can't wait to see him and Eloise actually exploring something like a relationship ♥

Eloise's parents though! I can understand it, because we see that a lot of parents take their children out of school - and that's only the ones in Harry's year, so undoubtedly there'd be even more concern for the younger pupils who can't decide for themselves - but it's so frustrating to see that they want her to stay at home rather than going to Hogwarts. It's kind of futile in some senses since in a few months they won't have any say in it, and all Hogwarts age students will have to go to the school anyway, but it's a desire to protect their children that I can understand. I don't think that it's going to be possible for people to really avoid what's been happening with the Death Eaters and the war after this.

Eloise's plan to get out from under her parents' roof and therefore their rules is intriguing - I suspect that she might ask Cormac if she can go with him, and that would be really interesting to see how that shifts the dynamic between them, especially if she gets to learn the reality of his home circumstances, but I guess I'll have to wait and see. Again, though, it makes me a bit sad that she might cause so much pain and worry to her parents when she won't really have to next year, as she won't have a choice about going back to Hogwarts.

It also makes me so sad that some of these people won't get the choice to come back next year - people like Justin - and their group will be even more fractured. I'm so looking forward to seeing you write about Hogwarts from Eloise's perspective, though, and seeing the war really develop.

I wouldn't object to seeing Susan hex Scrimgeour into next year. Just saying.

The conversation between Eloise and Wayne felt like it was happening at the right time, and I'm actually really, really happy for them. Their friendship doesn't seem to have been affected by the situation and neither of them caught feelings for the other during the year, but they just want each other to be happy and it was such a sweet conversation to read.

(Maybe Wayne is realising that he has feelings for Henry and the two of them can get together in the future? Maybe I'm not meant to be shipping those two together and this is coming from nowhere? Feel free to tell me to shut up :P)

The funeral was written so simply, but I think it was even more effective and beautiful for that. I'm looking forward to the next chapter - and then I can pester (or encourage) you for updates!

Sian :)

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Review #3, by nott theodoreLogarithmic: (14)

30th December 2017:
Val ♥ Ah, thank you for the thank you - it's so sweet, but I love this story and you so I'm going to be an annoying cheerleader for a long time :P

I got chills reading this chapter - you wrote the events in it so well. For some reason, when Susan and Justin both went pale, I really didn't expect it to be this moment, and the intensity and tension that followed were fantastic.

It's a very good job that Hermione had lifted the hex on the DA parchment, because they needed the Hufflepuffs there tonight, and they're going to need them all there next year, as well. I really, really loved the fact that the Hufflepuffs were the ones who responded to the message, and that there wasn't any hesitation in the fact that they were going to fight and not let their friends be put in danger without helping them. It shows how brave and loyal they are, and it just ties in so well with their characters.

Two things I really loved about that scene - the fact that they're so close-knit that Susan didn't want to go without telling Eloise, Wayne and Henry about the DA and where they were going, and that Eloise instantly wanted to go and fight with them - and then the fact that even though Zach and Henry decided not to go, the others respected that decision and didn't make any comments about bravery or cowardice or anything like that. I think it shows the difference in attitudes between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor really well.

The spells that you came up with for this chapter were so clever, and I liked the way that Eloise used them from her Healing experience and the others from the DA accepted hers and Wayne's presence and help here.

The chaos and fighting which followed in this chapter was so intense, and I thought you wrote it so well. I really felt like I was with Eloise as she ran around the castle and tried to process what was happening - but most of all during the end of the chapter, when they went to see who it was that had fallen from the tower. Dumbledore means a lot to Harry because of the special relationship that they have, but I think that it was important to show how much he means to all of the students in the school. The emotion when Eloise saw that it was Dumbledore who had been killed was so raw and real, and I had tears pricking in my eyes as I read this.

Sian :)

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Review #4, by nott theodoreLogarithmic: (13)

30th December 2017:
Ciao! ♥

The opening of this chapter was so brilliant. I loved the way that you grabbed us straight into the story again with the news in the Daily Prophet. It's so sad to hear the news about Selene and Berenice's little brother, but I think it illustrates the way that tragedy touches so many families during this period, and nobody is really immune. If you come out of this war unscathed, then you're incredibly lucky.

I really liked the detail that even though she's a Slytherin, most people like Berenice - I think given the narrow perspective we read in the books, it's easy to believe that all Slytherins are alike, but it's so unrealistic that they'd all be on the same side.

I felt so sorry for Henry here, as we got to find out more about what had happened to his family and something that triggers his panic attacks. You wrote the panic attack really well, and I was so, so glad that Eloise and Wayne were both there for Henry and trying to help calm him down. It means so much that this group stick together and look after each other so well.

(I don't know if I'm meant to be shipping Wayne and Henry now, but I slightly am? Oops.)

Yay for them all passing their Apparition exams! It was super sweet of Vincent to send the cakes, too (although now I'm hungry too :P).

I love Susan. I know I say this in pretty much every review, but I'm totally with her on the discussion about Malfoy. It's really nice seeing the Hufflepuffs' perspective of Draco, too, since we only really see it through the rivalry between him and Harry.

The scene with Eloise and Blaise was interesting - I feel like it's building towards something, or that his (quite regular - which I'm also wondering about) presence in the hospital wing will have a purpose in the future with this story, but I'm not sure what it is at this point. Eloise did a brilliant job of keeping calm as he came out with all the pureblood superiority rubbish, and it was interesting to see them interact and discuss it so openly when they wouldn't normally talk about this sort of thing with each other. I'd definitely have been doing more than putting him under a sleeping spell if I'd been Eloise, though :P

Sian :)

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Review #5, by nott theodoreLogarithmic: (12)

30th December 2017:
Val! ♥ So apparently the muse needs feeding and who am I to refuse that request?

You captured the atmosphere at the Quidditch match so well at the start of this chapter - the way that everyone is bunching into the stands and discussing the game that's about to take place. I go to rugby matches pretty regularly and I could see the parallels between the sports there, albeit Quidditch is more competitive.

Luna's commentary never fails to make me laugh, and I loved the way that you included that and expanded on it. It was really fun seeing the match from Eloise's perspective, too, since we see it as a spectator here, rather than Harry who's participating; just the difference in attitude to Zach makes a big change, and it was kind of weird to be cheering along for Hufflepuff with Eloise rather than my actual house :P

CORMAC! You idiot. Honestly, I'd kind of completely forgotten that he even did that in the books, so it was both a little amusing and frustrating to see him knocking Harry out with the Beaters' bat? That is not the best way to go about getting yourself into Eloise's good books, Cormac my friend. Not that you're trying, of course, I know *cough*.

Eloise is so sweet, trying to get out of the stadium to get to the Hospital Wing and help Madam Pomfrey out with the people who've been injured in the match. I think it really shows how much Healing means to her, and it's great experience (although still slightly worrying that all these things are happening) for her to get while she's still at school.

The scene in the Hufflepuff common room was so fun to read. I want to go to one of their parties! It seems like my sort of place, right down to the pile-on hug at the end ♥

Susan is such a great character in this - she's more vibrant and realistic than almost any portrayals I've seen of her in fanfiction, and it's so much fun to read her. Hufflepuffs pushing (or ignoring) the rules is always amusing :P I loved your drink names too!

The final section with the two letters from family was so interesting - I loved the contrast between the letters that Cormac and Eloise received. It was fascinating to see the differences in their situations and the concerns that are preoccupying their families, but a great parallel to draw between the two of them.

Cormac's mum is so sweet - I get the impression that she's really grateful for everything that he does for their family, but wishes she could stop the way that his father acts. She seems like a really complex character - which is unsurprising, given her situation - and I'd love to see more about her. Her concern for Cormac's future and encouraging him to think more about jobs is really touching, and I liked the way you used that to tell us more about Cormac himself. Also, him writing letters to his siblings would be absolutely adorable ♥

Eloise's letter was really different in tone, which fits the fact it's from her brother rather than a parent, but I think the way that he's talking about the war and the Ministry shows that their family - as a result of being happier and more close-knit - is more preoccupied with the war and how it could affect them and the country than their own concerns, in contrast to Cormac's family. And ooh, Eloise has her Apparition test - I hope it goes well!

Sian :)

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Review #6, by nott theodoreLogarithmic: (11)

30th December 2017:
I KNEW IT! I knew that Cormac couldn't be as oblivious to Eloise and the chemistry there as he seemed to be, and I was right. Eep, the opening of this chapter was great. He's doing a reasonably good job of pretending that he doesn't care and trying to keep Eloise at arm's length, but I loved the way that you described the snarly feelings and thoughts in the opening scene as he remembered that interaction with Eloise.

His father is really awful. I didn't think that the injuries he was in the hospital wing for were actually sustained by falling off his broom, but I hadn't connected the dots and thought about how his father had been able to do this to him. The past injuries were just awful and I feel so sorry for Cormac, now - that's such an impossible and horrible situation to have to deal with, and the fact that he gets to escape it when he goes to Hogwarts but also has to worry about his siblings and family when he's away is more than anyone should ever have to deal with. No wonder he's trying to keep people away from finding out. I'm even wondering if the reason he gives Harry for missing the previous year's trials is actually true, or if it's related to his father.

(Nero is a very appropriate name for Mr McLaggen, too.)

The descriptions of the cold and winter in this chapter are making me feel cold, even though I'm inside and wrapped up in blankets. Reasons to not visit Scotland at this time of year :P

Susan is a great friend. I'm so glad to see the way that they're looking out for each other here, and it's so believable that Eloise (and others) would reach points like this through the year. The final years of school are stressful and difficult enough at this point, without friends missing and a war going on, and I wanted to reach through the screen and give Eloise and Susan a big hug here.

It was so interesting to see the way that the Hufflepuffs are putting together those incidents, and that they're trying to put together what's happened and see the bigger picture. I think in the books we get the impression that only Harry is really taking note of what's going on and so it's great to see that these characters are aware of what's happening, too. Susan's own interest in the events at the Ministry and the way that she's toeing the line of legality in an effort to deal with her aunt's murder is fascinating - I really love these characters and I don't want any harm to come to them, but it's so great to see them getting really involved in what's going on around them and showing how much this matters to them.

Sian :)

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Review #7, by nott theodoreLogarithmic: (10)

30th December 2017:
Val! ♥

Opening this chapter with the Apparition lessons and some more of the specifics about it (like the age that they can actually learn and take the test at) was so interesting. It's literally only just occurred to me that witches and wizards can learn to apparate at the same age we get to learn to drive in the UK. I thought you captured the build up to the lessons really well - I definitely felt that same sense of excitement and fear when I first learnt to drive.

Aha. Well, Eloise might have been caught staring, but Cormac was looking too! I still think that he needs to apologise to her and I'm so intrigued about what's happening with him, but anyway. Wayne is a really good friend to know that she's got a crush on Cormac (not that she's doing a very good job of hiding it) and then to help her out with trying to make him a little jealous. Their arrangement seems to be working pretty well at the moment - especially now that all of the other Hufflepuffs have the ground rules laid down - but I'm still worried that one of them might catch feelings. Wayne seems like the prime candidate for that at the moment, since Eloise is rather easily distracted by a certain Gryffindor.

The Apparition lessons were really interesting - I think having your dad do the same job and having taught certain things definitely puts forward some sort of conflict there, and Eloise is good to give Twycross's method a try first (this reminds me of studying maths at school when my mum had already taught me how to do half of it years earlier). I really liked the way that you captured what we know of that first lesson from the books and we get to see it from Eloise's perspective - Susan splinching herself is a lot more worrying when she's Eloise's best friend. (Also, I loved the earlier story of someone accidentally apparating in the middle of a Muggle dinner party. I can imagine that would be both hilarious and terrifying.)

The final scene! Eeeep.

Also. "Be aggressively normal and all will be fine." Brilliant plan, Eloise.

There's something going on with Cormac and I'm not entirely sure that I believe that he fell off his broom. The scars on his torso definitely suggest that there's a history there, and I'm so intrigued to find more about him. But you did a wonderful job of capturing Eloise's feelings in that scene, and how attracted she is to Cormac. I refuse to believe that Cormac isn't feeling something, too...

Sian :)

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Review #8, by nott theodoreLogarithmic: (9)

30th December 2017:
VAL! ♥ ♥ ♥

So I've been terrible and have read a couple of chapters without reviewing (but not all of them yet), and I have some time and I'm in the mood to shower you with love, so I hope you'll forgive my lateness ♥

So I'm still not really sure why on earth Cormac was so horrible to Eloise at the end of the last chapter/beginning of this one, because it seemed so unnecessary, but I love the way that Eloise dealt with it. I really love her character and the way that she stands up for herself. I also love the fact that she's so casual when she tells Susan that she doesn't need to kill Cormac because she's already dealt with it. Get you a friendship like that.

The sleepover was so much fun to read - I love the way that this group of friends interact with each other so easily, and the way that you capture their dynamic. It's so fun seeing a very different side to the Hufflepuffs than what we normally get to see, and the way that you've brought these characters to life. Also, Susan drinking is hilarious. I bet she's secretly so proud of herself for coming up with the suggestion that Eloise and Wayne eventually take up.

(I don't know how I feel about Eloise and Wayne, though. I mean, I'm glad that they're having fun, but I always worry with situations like this one that Feelings will develop and someone is going to end up with their heart broken, which would not be very good.)

After seeing the way that Cormac treated Eloise at the start of this chapter, it was really fascinating to see him with his family. He's so sweet with his siblings, and he obviously cares for them so much and worries about them when he's not there. It was really clever of you to let us glimpse that side of his character so that we don't hate him entirely (although he still has a long way to go before he deserves Eloise, okay?) and I really enjoyed reading a bit about his home life. It seems like he's leaving a troubled situation at home and I have to wonder whether or not that affected the way that he was with Eloise earlier on, although that's not an excuse for him to speak to her the way that he did. Boy has a lot of making up to do before he's worthy of my darling Eloise.

(Yes, she's mine now as well as yours, okay?)

The ending of the chapter was really interesting, too - even if they didn't want the others overhearing them discussing their ground rules, it's obvious that Eloise and Wayne have no intention of hiding the fact that they're sleeping together, and I think that says a lot about this group of friends and how open and honest they are with each other. It's so nice to see them just acting as normal teenagers, too, and having moments like these, even with everything that's going on around them.

Sian :)

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Review #9, by nott theodoreL'optimisme: Clauses

15th May 2017:
Laura! ♥ I hope you don't mind me picking L'optimisme for our swap, but I want to be able to read all of La Salvezza together, and with the speed that you're getting through the editing of this, I figured I should probably start trying to catch up :P

The opening section was so lovely, with the way that you tied in the more theoretical idea of clauses to the relationship between Albus and Gellert. It just worked so well and seemed to fit their relationship perfectly, especially with the way that Albus lingered over the ideas of certainty and uncertainty, and the fact that Gellert seemed to end each clause in his life. Gellert isn't a full stop, but a continuation, someone who helps Albus on in a way even while they're apart. There's this constant link between them and they're so bound up together.

I loved the idea of the fact that they'd been so very certain of each other in that summer of uncertainty - that in all the headiness of youth, neither of them had stopped to consider that they were the ones who might not last - at least, not together, as a couple. And yet, even though they were certain of each other and they weren't able to stay together in the conventional sense, they are perhaps more connected than they could be otherwise.

And I'm not sure if it was intentional, but I love the double meaning that you could apply to 'clauses' here - the idea that in that summer they sealed a sort of unwritten contract, and there will not be one without the other, however far apart they are geographically.

Have I told you before that I love the way that Albus kind of digresses and goes off on tangents? They're not really total tangents because they flow so well from his thoughts, but it fits his character so well. In the books you always get the impression that he's carried away by his own thoughts sometimes, and not always entirely in the moment.

I really, really like the way that you're moving the time period forward and reminding us of that with little details, like the changing fashions at the parties and the atmosphere there. It's really clever and lovely.

Ah, I kind of wanted to give Albus a hug here. He seems so lost - like he's really trying to find purpose and dedicate himself to his teaching and his research, but there's part of him that will always be connected to Gellert and he still feels his loss so much. I'm not sure that he'll really find it easier as time goes on or whether he'll just get better at dealing with it, but I love the subtle ways that you're developing his character and yet remaining true to the constants (and especially Gellert).

The moment when he confessed to Gellert that he was so worried he would be offered the Ministry of Magic post again and that at some point he would not find it easy to refuse ♥ It's kind of ironic that he's confessing to Gellert how worried he is about being in a position of power, especially since at this point Gellert is building up his own power base, but at the same time so sweet because there's nobody else he can (or wants to) share those fears with.

I loved the way that the conversation with Bathilda started off so gingerly, then just as they seemed to find themselves on solid ground, they stumbled into the danger zone again. But I thought what Gellert had said to Bathilda was so true! There are some people who present as a different person with every change of scene and group of people they're with, but it's incredibly hard to shake off and have the confidence to truly be yourself. It was wonderful to see that somehow Gellert was still reaching out to Albus though he's so far away and giving him the confidence to be a better person and be himself.

Ooh, and I forgot to mention earlier, but that question about whether or not Gellert or Albus had said a certain phrase was wonderful, because of how well it showed their similarities and the way that they're bound up together, no matter the distance between them.

This was lovely and wonderful and I'm really glad I'm finally continuing with it!

Sian :)

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Review #10, by nott theodoreJingle All the Way: Go It While You're Young

5th May 2017:
Nicole!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

Now I'm the truly terrible one, I can't believe that you posted this in March and I've been so ungrateful as to leave reviewing it till May :( In my defence, I didn't have much time for reviewing in April apart from CTF, and I wanted to be able to leave a proper review on this chapter, because it deserves it (also oh my goodness, I still can't believe that you wrote a story for me *flails*, I feel so honoured!).

I love how utterly magical everything at Givesmore is. It's just there in every aspect of their work, which makes me smile so much, because it's like Givesmore has to keep up the magic of Christmas in all that it does, even if it doesn't necessarily actually make their jobs easier :P Poor Dennis, with the filing cabinets protesting just because he's trying to get them to work more quietly.

The interactions between Marietta and Dennis are really interesting, I'm wondering if Marietta is going to thaw out at all towards Dennis, because she seems to be very cold at the moment. Maybe the party will see some changes in the way they behave towards each other, especially since neither of them seem to be overly keen on the idea of the party.

The letter from Colin!!! ♥ ♥ ♥


Oh my goodness, that was just so sweet and cute and also more than a little bit heartbreaking to read. Seriously, how sweet is Colin? I think there's no doubt that he's a bit of a Gryffinpuff like me, it was just so lovely that he wrote to Santa and asked for something that could be for his mum, and dad, and Dennis, when so many children would just write a long list of what they want for themselves. How many children would do that? Ah, it's just so sweet and lovely of him, and it's no wonder that Dennis found it difficult to read, seeing a reminder of what a wonderful person his brother was, even when he was little, and knowing that he never got to reach his full potential.

It's so sad that Colin never got his requests because the payment was never received, though. I understand that they have to run it as a business, but it would be lovely if there was like a charity fund or something that could pay for the Muggle-born children whose parents didn't know about it - although I guess that he probably got other presents from his family :P But it was a great insight into how the business works, and it's interesting to think of how Givesmore ties into the magical world - maybe some Muggle-born children are found because of the fact they see the adverts?

Grace Givesmore is certainly an... interesting character. She doesn't seem to fit particularly well with the ethos of the company, and although I know that she's trying, in a way, to do something more fun for the employees, but since they're all so stressed already trying to get things ready in time for Christmas, it might not be the best idea. But it was so cute how the other elves were so excited about the prospect of a party. Grace definitely doesn't listen, though, and doesn't seem to care what Millicent thinks, even though Millicent is running the whole company for her. I'm not entirely sure I like Grace, to be honest, but I'm going to wait and see how the party goes before I make a proper judgement :P

Thank you so, so much for this chapter and this story, Nicole! I know I say in all these reviews, but I really mean it, and I'm so flattered and overwhelmed that you wanted to write something for me! I hope you're doing well!

Sian :)

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Review #11, by nott theodoreErasure: _ _ _

1st May 2017:

Okay, so I think that we need to have a serious talk. I've been meaning to read some of your stories for a while now (but you know, things like CTF kind of get in the way of those intentions), and I'm so glad that I finally had a chance to. But we need to address the fact that you've been so disparaging of your own writing recently, and there is absolutely no justification for it. Repeat after me: I am a great writer. Okay?

Honestly, this was amazing!

There were actually points reading this when I was nearly in tears, because this was such an emotional story to read, and it broke my heart to see that George was so desperate to get away from the pain and grief that must have defined his life for the last year that he was willing to do this - erase all of his memories and try and start a new life without the remembrance of Fred - and I just wanted to reach out to him and give him the biggest hug.

Your description in this was just incredible, too - I would like to quote my favourite parts back at you, but I think that it would probably be most of the story, so I'm not going to do that. But really, your writing was so powerful and evoked such vivid images in my mind, and it was beautiful to read. I think I loved the description of George's hair as "Golden red-orange, like the hue of sunsets and marmalade", because it's a lovely, original way to describe his hair colour.

I loved the sense of mystery and tension through this story, too, as George felt this sense of resentment towards his "abductor", thinking of this person who had taken away all of his memories and left him with very little. I was torn from the start in believing his version of events, of having been kidnapped and had his memories taken from him, and then wondering if he'd had a role in it happening. You drew that aspect of the story out really well, so we weren't sure until the end that it had actually been George who had chosen to erase his memories, which made it even more heartbreaking at the end.

This was just so intelligently written, as well - I know that George has chosen to erase his memories, but there are still some that are lurking in the back of his mind and that he might still uncover at some point. I loved the way that certain words, like swamp and extendable, triggered a hint of a memory because of their connection to products and achievements he'd had with Fred. Even down to wanting to send his sister a toilet seat, taken from that throwaway line in the first book. It was just so clever to pack all those little details and hints in there, and made this story stand out even more.

I honestly don't think I can praise this enough, Brax, but I'm going to insist on this - please, please don't be so disparaging about your writing, because it's really wonderful, and this was a fantastic and moving one-shot that you should be very proud of.

Sian :)

Author's Response: Sian, you are the best!

Thank you so much for reviewing this story. I'm completely blown away by the lovely, thoughtful things that you've said here. Many apologies for the delay in responding. I have no valid excuse apart from someone constantly distracting me on twitter ;)

I found "Erasure" quite a difficult and emotional story to write, because I have such a soft spot for Fred and George, and to put George in this predicament seemed such a cruel thing to do. However, I confess; I really enjoyed injecting random, superficial bits of George's past into this story and thus taking my own trip down HP memory lane.

Thanks once again for how amazingly supportive you've been (with this story and in general).
Brax X

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Review #12, by nott theodoreThe Writing on the Wall.: Easter.

29th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hi Margaret! I'm sorry that I'm jumping in halfway through your novel here but I hope that you don't mind too much, since it's for a good cause (in Gryffindor's eyes at least).

I know I say this time and time again, but I really love the talent that you have for capturing children's characters and portraying them so believably in your stories. I really loved reading about them here, particularly Lily and Fred and Roxanne - it seemed like all they wanted to talk about was Easter Eggs and chocolate and it fit so well with their ages and how excited kids get around Easter.

There was a lot of dialogue in this chapter but I really enjoyed reading it, because I think you did a great job of capturing the interactions and the dynamics between the different characters. As well as your talent for writing children, you're great at portraying families and family dynamics. I laughed a little when James was teasing Lily about the Easter bunny and then teasing Albus about not having received a detention all year and that being an unacceptable way to get through Hogwarts. I really liked reading the family all together as well and celebrating Easter - this chapter just filled me with smiles and warm feelings for the Weasleys!

Sian :)

Author's Response: If you DO have to jump in halfway through the novel, this isn't a bad chapter to pick as it pretty much stands alone and doesn't give away too much. Even Rose's owl from Scorpius doesn't really give any details.

I'm really pleased you like the way I capture the children's characters. 11 and 12 year olds are hard to write, getting the correct balance between child and teenager. The younger children and older teens are easier.

The Easter Bunny isn't really a thing here, actually, though I think it MIGHT be coming in now. A couple of my colleagues were talking recently about whether they would "do" the Easter Bunny with their kids. I was an adult before I realised the Easter Bunny was a Santa Claus typed character. We just got Easter eggs from our parents and family members.

Thank you so much for the review.

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Review #13, by nott theodoreDifferent Time, Different Malfoy: Different Time, Different Malfoy

29th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hi Claire! I'm really glad that I get to read more of your great writing as part of this game!

I don't know why, but I didn't expect to find a Rose/Scorpius one-shot on your page, so you kind of surprised me with that. But this was really cute and fluffy and a sweet story to read - a bit of a change from the tension that I've been getting with Lavender and Parvati the last few days :P

This was only a short story but I thought you gave us a really good glimpse into Rose and Scorpius's relationship with this piece. They clearly get on really well and are very attracted to each other, but I'm a bit unsure as to whether they're actually together at the start of this - I think there's room there for the reader to fill in the gaps and use their own imagination.

Poor Rose. I liked the way that Scorpius was so determined to find out what was wrong with her because he didn't want her to be upset, and didn't want to be the one who'd upset her. And then the fact that it's their family names seems so insignificant when he points out that they're different people to their parents, which shows how well he knows her and how easy it is for him to reassure her.

The ending was really cute - although of course there'd be a couple of annoying Weasley cousins getting in the way :P

Sian :)

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Review #14, by nott theodoreOf Balls and Blood Status: Of Balls and Blood Status

29th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hi Olivia!

Oh my goodness hahahaha. You know, I really don't read a lot of Draco/Hermione (I'm not sure that that'll surprise you very much to be honest) but I've read some really good parodies of the pairing recently and I think that I might have to start looking for them when I need a pick-me-up, because this really made me laugh.

Which is a bit awkward as it's half past one in the morning and I'm alone in my bedroom and everyone in the house probably thinks I'm crazy.

From the very first sentence of this story, I had a huge smile on my face. I loved the way that you were so derisive of yourself as the author and kind of broke the fourth wall a bit there, with the way that you commented on the bad opening to the story. Let's be honest, it's not unusual for it to be raining in April in the UK - or at any time of year haha.

Then everything else - I'm so impressed by the number of cliches that you managed to pack into a story so short, but you did a great job of capturing all the stereotypes that you find in a typical Dramione. I loved the fact that there was so much excitement over the ball, and of course Draco asked Hermione, and she helpfully found out she was a pureblood anyway, so bam! The problems are all gone and they can finally be together. How wonderful for them :P

Thank you very much for making me laugh with this, you did a great job of the parody!

Sian :)

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Review #15, by nott theodoreThe Great Tale of Me, Lyra Malfoy: I.

29th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hello! I've not read any of your stories before but I'm glad that I get a chance to now. I've seen quite a few stories around in which the Malfoys have another child, or a child who isn't Scorpius, but I don't think I've read any of them, so this was quite a nice introduction.

Lyra has a really strong voice so far. She's very believable as a teenager, she's very sarcastic and a bit dramatic, which I think fits in quite well with someone of her age.

I really enjoyed the dialogue and the interaction between Scorpius and Lyra here too, especially since you've created a character who doesn't exist in canon. I think you captured the sibling relationship here really well, and I could sense their parents frustration with them bickering. I like the fact that you've set out some of the relationships that we're going to encounter in this story already (I love Scorpius and Albus being together!) and that we got some real background to the character and her time at Hogwarts so far.

The only CC I have for you is that I did spot a couple of typos in this chapter - it might be worth going through and just correcting those so it reads smoother. But I really enjoyed this!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Oh hello, finally getting to your lovely review after about a month, so sorry about that!

First of, thank you so much for coming to review. I'm really glad that you think Lyra is believable, sometimes I get a little worried that Lyra becomes too much.

Awww thank you.

I just had to add Scorbus in. It's my kryptonite, and I love it with all of my heart. I could be in the middle of the most epic battle in history, and if some random person from the side was just like 'hey, Scorbus is canon now' or 'X Scorbus fanfic has been updated', I'd just like drop my weapons and prance of the battlefield.

Thanks for pointing out the typos. My plan is to finish GTOLM and then edit the whole thing before I start posting the sequel.

Thanks again for reviewing! Hope to see you creeping around my AP soon.


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Review #16, by nott theodoreThe Last Visit: Chapter 1

28th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review


Well, first of all you definitely deserve some love because of all the crazy reviewing that you've been doing over the past weeks, but also. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME???

You've seen the Cursed Child as well as I have (more than me, in fact) and you should know by now that I have a soft spot for Albus and Scorpius in any form, whether that's as friends or in a relationship. But this was so mean and so emotional and I'm not very happy after reading this. Deathbed scenes are always hard to read when they're written right (and of course this one definitely was) but the fact that Scorpius was so young and died playing Quidditch made me so, so sad!

I loved the way that you opened this, building up the tension because as readers we didn't really know what had happened or what was wrong, just that we were at St. Mungo's and the Potters were clearly all worried about Albus. And then we find out, and of course they're worried about Albus, and I think you should be a little worried about me too, because you've broken my heart more than a bit with this story!

I thought the dialogue here was fantastic. I honestly don't think you could have chosen a better way to capture what Scorpius means to Albus because it shows so well in his choice of final words. I loved this, but please don't do it to me again!

Sian :)

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Review #17, by nott theodorePartners in Crime: recruitment.

28th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hi Elisabeth!

Ooh, I've heard about this story and seen it on your author's page before of course, but I haven't had the chance to read it yet so I'm glad I get to do that now!

Albus! And Scorpius! And young adults not knowing what they're really doing with their lives! It probably shouldn't surprise you that this is something that makes me smile and I very much want to read it. Struggling young adults is kind of my thing because honestly, who really knows what they want to do when they leave school and has the money to do it? NOT THIS GIRL.

I loved the opening, when you were giving us some of the background to Albus and the stuff that he's been doing in the years since he left Hogwarts. Then the scene when he was staying at James's, and James just really wanted him gone because he was probably getting in the way of his relationship a bit, and also the swearing in front of a six year old thing :P I loved the dynamic between the two brothers there.

And the dialogue between Scorpius and Albus! Scorpius knows him so well, clearly, and he's so sassy and it just made me smile when I was reading it. You capture the dialogue of this age group so well (unsurprising, really) and the characterisation shines through that. I hope I get to come back and see how Albus starts with his Auror training!

Sian :)

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Review #18, by nott theodoreto the end of time: Move In

28th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hi Claire! Is there a flag lurking somewhere around here?

Anyway, I'm really glad that I got to get back to this story, because I mean, Parvati and Lavender and I am shipping both of them so badly already in this story. And considering I've read the sixth chapter and nothing else of this story, I think that you should consider that a distinct achievement and be very proud of yourself :P

I'm so glad that they're in a better place than at the end of the last chapter, when everything was so tense and worried because Parvati didn't know what had happened to Lavender in the battle. Of course, Parvati still hasn't found the time or the courage to tell Lavender that she's in love with her - I loved how casually and openly Padma could say it, so it's clearly something that they've talked about or that is obvious to her - but at least they're in a better place together.

Lavender is moving in! Yay! Does this mean there's also going to be potential for late night confessions and telling each other that they love each other, finally?? I also loved the way that you dropped in the little hints about how Lavender is different now, and Parvati doesn't see it as a big change, because she accepts it, and it seems like the effects of PTSD, which aren't generally that well understood I guess.

I'm rooting for these two a lot!

Sian :)

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Review #19, by nott theodorePride and Joy: Pride and Joy

28th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hi Olivia!

This was a super sweet story to read! I don't think I've actually read anything with Hermione and her parents, except for the stories when she's altering their memory so that they think they don't have a daughter (*sob*) or when she's going to try and find them in Australia, so this was a really lovely and refreshing read.

You did a great job of getting across how close they are as a family and how much the Grangers love their little daughter. It must be so hard for Muggle-borns' parents to deal with their children going off to school and becoming part of a world that they don't belong to, let alone understand, and I loved seeing them trying to make sense of everything that Hermione does at school.

I think the grades that she got for the year was a really great way to then go about them discussing it, because grades, although they're different, are something that most parents can understand and be proud of, so it was like a link between the two worlds. I loved the fact that the Grangers are still so proud of their daughter, even when they don't necessarily know what she's doing or realise that she gets to fly on a broomstick (in theory of course, since Hermione doesn't favour them :P). I loved this!

Sian :)

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Review #20, by nott theodoreGetting Sorted: In the Slytherin Common Room

28th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hello! Ooh, I got to read a Scorpius starting Hogwarts and getting sorted story, and now I get to read the same with Albus! I wonder if this is your head canon for both of them, and they don't actually end up in the same house in your head canon?

Anyway, I loved the opening scene and the way that you wrote the conversation that was going on between the Sorting Hat and Albus. It's so interesting to see the way that different people reason what would make someone go into one house or another, and your reasoning here is very believable. I like the way that it wasn't easy for the Sorting Hat to decide where to place Albus, and that it clearly took quite a while (like father, like son), and then that Albus's choice was kind of taken into account. I thought you got Albus's nerves across really well here too, the poor kid. I wanted to give him a hug!

I'm glad that he had someone with him from his family at least, even if Louis did keep humiliating him when they were playing chess and poor Albus kept losing. But I suppose it was a way to get the others talking to him and help him fit in, wasn't it?

Sian :)

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Review #21, by nott theodoreThe Ten Year Anniversary of Dumbledore's Army: Before the Party

28th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hello again!

Ah, yet another character I love on the author's page of an author whose work I love reading! I am very much enjoying this game of CTF! :)

I really liked the premise behind this story, that the DA would try and organise to meet up ten years later after everything that's gone on. Of course, it won't be easy as I imagine they'll have to realise and remember that some of them aren't alive anymore, but it's a nicer reunion than most, I imagine, and it'll be interesting to see where everyone is after this time has passed.

I loved your characterisation of Hannah! The little quirks that came through about her like the fact that she has to set her watch twenty minutes early to make sure she's on time for things really helped to bring her character to life. I also got the sense that she's quite happy with where she is now, but she's not exactly where she expected to be? She doesn't seem to see as much of the other DA members as I might have imagined, but her friendship with Tom is really sweet to read. He's a bit like a father figure to her, isn't he?

I have to admit, I'm kind of hoping that Hannah gets to see more of Neville at this reunion...

(Also I love the way that they're still using the Galleons after all this time!)

Sian :)

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Review #22, by nott theodoreMarriage Prospects: A conversation and a letter

28th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hi again!

Okay, I have to admit, again, that I'm not the biggest fan of pairings like this one. In fact, I don't think that I've ever read a Draco/Neville story before in my life? (And I've read quite a lot of fanfiction so that's saying something really.)

But even so, I liked the way that you wrote this piece. There's something about writing stories that are this length with unusual pairings that leaves the reader a lot of space to use their own imagination and fill in the gaps for themselves, which is what I did here - trying to imagine what their relationship might be like and how it began and developed.

The opening section was so tense to read - I loved the way that you hinted at Draco's feelings for Neville with his reactions to what his parents were saying, but he couldn't really voice them or anything and I actually felt really sorry for him. His parents have so clearly not even thought that Draco might be interested in anything but men and carrying on the family line...

The description at the end was lovely, it really showed how much Neville meant to Draco, and I liked the letter that he wrote to him as well - you could tell how they felt about each other and how much their relationship meant. An interesting read!

Sian :)

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Review #23, by nott theodoreSettling In: The Start-of-Term Feast

28th April 2017:
CTF Review

Hi again, Kapa!

Another story of yours that I'm excited to get to read! I've read Scorpius in all sorts of different houses, but I think I usually see him in Slytherin (when Albus Potter gets sorted there) or in Gryffindor (again with Albus), so it's really refreshing to see him in Hufflepuff, even though he didn't expect or even necessarily want to be there. (Although why wouldn't you want to be in Hufflepuff? They're awesome!)

I really enjoyed the scene when Scorpius was being sorted and we got to see the Sorting Hat's insight into his brain and personality. It was also really interesting that the Sorting Hat said that Slytherin and Hufflepuff can be considered quite close at times and some people are hatstalls between them, because I think I've always considered them quite far apart in terms of qualities and values. I love details like that in stories like this one!

The final scene had me laughing so much! It's going to be hard for Scorpius to keep a low profile anyway at a school like this when his family has such a reputation, especially now he's the one who stands out as he's not in Slytherin, but if he goes making snarky comments like that one he'll earn his own reputation haha :P

Sian :)

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Review #24, by nott theodoreTeddy's First Letter From Hogwarts: An Important Question

28th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hello again, Kapa!

Oh my goodness, I love Teddy Lupin so much! I don't know why I have such a soft spot for him - maybe it's because he's had such a horrible start to life with his parents dying in the battle, and maybe it's because he's a Hufflepuff, or maybe it's just because he's called Teddy... anyway, I'm so excited to see some stories about him on your page, and that I get the chance to read them!

This was absolutely adorable to read! I honestly loved the way that you wrote it, because you really captured that childlike innocence that comes through and would be there because Teddy has only been at Hogwarts for two days. Then you've packed so much into this short letter - he's writing to Harry, and he knows that there's the fame to Harry's name but it's still weird for him to go to Hogwarts and know so many people with that name there, too.

I loved his lack of prejudice too, the way that he doesn't discriminate or see a difference to the people whose parents were Death Eaters because of his own family, and how he has the likes and dislikes just like any other kid. Also that he's young enough to still sign the letter 'Love you!' without caring what people might think. This just put a massive smile on my face, thank you!

Sian :)

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Review #25, by nott theodoreGrey Fire: Party Preparations

28th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hi again! I've heard there's a flag lurking somewhere on your page...

I have to admit that I'm not the biggest fan of pairings that are explicitly non-canon, like Draco/Ginny, but with the set-up that you've got going on here it seems like Ginny has left Harry already (sorry, I jumped in on chapter 2) and so I already feel a bit more open-minded to it than I probably normally would.

The invitation seemed a bit of a surprise even to Ginny herself, so I wonder what's going to happen when she's there at Malfoy Manor. I'm intrigued because the invitation has been sent by Astoria as well, signing as Astoria Malfoy, so it seems like Draco is still with his wife...

The shorter sections worked really well to build up a sort of tension about the event that Ginny's going to and let us feel as uncomfortable as she probably does about it. I know I didn't read the first chapter, but the invite seems to have come a bit out of the blue and Ginny's not the only one who thinks that or thinks that maybe it would be better not to go. I liked her having reasons for having to go, though - it made it more plausible. And I liked Ron's characterisation, too - he was funny but not as angry as I often see, and that made me smile.

Sian :)

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