Reading Reviews From Member: nott theodore
  
1,377 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodoreThief: Scones And Jam

10th May 2016:
Kaitlin! ♥ CONGRATULATIONS!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

I'm so happy for you achieving this! I honestly don't know how you managed it or had the determination or motivation to keep going for 100 challenges, but it's seriously incredible and you should be so proud - I really hope that you're relaxing properly now, because if anyone deserves it, it's you :P

This seemed like such a fitting story for the 100 as well! I loved how Gryffindor this was (I mean, how could I not? :P) and the way that you characterised Romilda Vane. I've honestly thought for ages that Romilda must have had much more to her than a juvenile attempt to make Harry fall for her with a love potion, but I don't think I've seen any story actually exploring that before and it made me so happy that you did here. I mean, she was just fourteen or fifteen when we see her in the books, and even though she's not much older here, it's really clear that she's grown up a lot and has started to show her Gryffindor qualities more in the terrible situation that she's forced into.

I've read a couple of your stories now which have taken place at this time in the Hogwarts timeline, and I think you capture what the school was like during this year so well. The Carrows are so horrible, and it's so hard to imagine what the students had to suffer, but you really portray the sense of fear and cruelty that pervades the school because of them. It shouldn't be down to children to have to stand up to tyrants and risk harm just so that they get food. I can really easily believe that the Carrows would restrict the food that the pupils could eat, and impose measures so that the house elves couldn't help the children even when they wanted to.

I loved the little detail that Romilda wanted to get food to the people in the Room of Requirement, too, because it means she's fully aware of the DA and people trust her, which just adds to what her role must have been throughout this year. I can't help but like her even more for knowing that.

The house elves were so adorable! Ah, they're so cute and I loved the way you wrote their speech, because it felt really authentic to the books and not overdone, which I think does happen sometimes. But here the house elves were so adorable, and I felt so sorry for them - you could tell they really wanted to be able to do anything they could to help the pupils, because it was their job to feed them, but the Carrows were stopping them from doing that and not hesitating to hurt them if they stepped out of line. It's not hard to imagine Death Eaters doing that because we've already seen in the books that they don't consider house elves of creatures worth any consideration.

Winky was adorable! It was brilliant to see her here, having changed considerably from the last time we see her in the books (although part of me is wondering if the reason that there's no Dobby is because he's already died at this point and that makes me so sad to think about). It was so sweet to see her determination to try and help Romilda with her plan because she knew the students needed her, and the way that the other house elves joined in trying to work out the plan made it really easy to believe that they'd happily go and fight for their school when the Battle of Hogwarts began. It was kind of heart-breaking to see the way that they cared so much about the pupils and hadn't been able to do anything to help them, but they were willing to risk everything to give them some food.

Romilda was amazing. I know I've already said how much I loved her Gryffindor-ness (that is totally a word) in this story, but I'm really impressed by the way that you managed to flesh out her character in a piece that's relatively so short. She honestly seemed like such a well-rounded character in this story, and I loved the way that she not only showed her bravery and courage in being willing to suffer the consequences of being caught with food, but that she did it all because she wanted to help other people. She really showed her kindness and loyalty here too and you made her into a character that cares about so much more than boys and looks, which I find she's usually written as. Thank you for that, because you've made me care about her even more as a character now.

Those last few sentences were just so chilling and had such an impact. I could picture the whole scene so clearly - the way that Amycus was happy to take revenge and punish a pupil that had stepped out of line, and the excruciating pain that poor Romilda was going to suffer. I really hope that she was okay afterwards, and that holding onto the thought that the school would finally be fed because she'd created a distraction helped her through it.

Congratulations again on finishing your crazily impressive challenge and with this wonderful story, too. And thank you for the shout-out at the end ♥ I'm so sorry this review hasn't come sooner and isn't longer, but I'm leaving it on a revision break so I hope it does some justice to what I think of the story and you! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #2, by nott theodoreKeep Calm and Carry On: Morning

10th May 2016:
*flails*

CONGRATULATIONS!

I know I haven't been one of those people who's been around reading this story since the beginning, but it was on my reading list for so long and I'd heard so many things about it that I'm really happy I finally got to read this before it finished. Edie is such a wonderful character and I've loved reading her story - so thank you for writing it! ♥

I'm so happy that they finally got together! It might have taken them 33 chapters to reach this point, but it's been so much fun to read about what Edie and Oliver had to do to get there. I'm grinning like an idiot now :P

Seriously, though, you really like messing around with us, don't you? I honestly thought that Oliver was just going to let Edie get on the train back to London and leave without saying anything to her about how he felt, and poor Edie was thinking exactly the same thing. Honestly, I don't think it's just that Oliver wanted Ada's blessing, but that he needed her to tell him to stop being stupid and just get on with it :P

Ada was awesome, though! It was so nice to see her again and I don't think this ending would have felt right without her being here. The fact that she'd grown up a bit and was so happy to see Edie was really lovely, and I think it was that which kept me hoping even when Oliver let Edie get on the train without saying anything. She's been such an awesome character throughout this story and it was great to see her playing a real part in making Oliver admit his feelings. Obviously Ada and Oliver's relationship has changed quite a bit as a result of the article and what she found out, but it's great to see that they still care about each other and it's probably made them stronger if anything. I honestly love reading about close sibling relationships, and Ada and Oliver are so sweet.

YAY HE FINALLY ADMITTED IT!! AND SO DID EDIE!! Haha it's taken them so long to get to this point but I completely agree with the way that it's seemed kind of inevitable for them because even though they've tried, they can't avoid each other and they still love each other, even when they know they shouldn't. I'm not sure how well them having a "normal" relationship will go, but I'm really excited for them because they deserve their happy ending after all this time!

The final section from Oliver's point of view was really unusual, but it was such a perfect choice for the ending of this story. I loved the way that we got to see how Oliver really felt about her, and the way that he'd been feeling during the last chapter when he'd come across as distant and cold. The idea that they've been skirting around the edges of each other's lives for all this time, and that now it's finally the time for them to get together is so sweet!

I've kind of mentioned this already, but thank you so much for writing a character like Edie. I honestly think that fanfiction has a tendency to include "perfect" characters, who seem to get everything handed to them on a plate, and the only problems they have in life are deciding who they want to date. And that's just not how life is, and becoming an adult is confusing and hard and life doesn't just give things to you like most stories want to make you believe. So thank you for writing a character who's so relatable and real, even if she's made some ridiculous mistakes along the way, she's been believable all the way through. Thank you for writing about her ♥

Congratulations on finally finishing your wonderful story! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #3, by nott theodoreKeep Calm and Carry On: You Can Never Really Go Home

10th May 2016:
Hello! Ah, it's been far too long since I've left a review (on any story) but I'm letting myself take a little break from revision to get back to this story. I'm excited and a bit sad to know that it's finished now, but congratulations!

Ah, I'm really hoping for something a bit happier from the next chapter, because there were so many things in this one which were just a bit heartbreaking for me to read! I was so excited for Edie to finally get to see Oliver again, especially now other parts of her life are going much better than they were before, because honestly I felt like she probably needed to be in a better place herself before she could try and sort out the mess that happened with Oliver. Even so, I didn't think it was going to work out quite as well as Edie seemed to be hoping, and I'm kind of sad that I seem to have been right (at least this far).

The meeting at the start was sufficiently awkward to fit everything we know about the two of them. I felt so sorry for Edie, though, when she went to give Oliver a hug and was hoping for more and he just stood there all awkwardly. I could tell even then that he still cared about her enough not to want her to be completely embarrassed, but he was so cold (comparatively) and it was so awkward to see the two of them so far from what they used to be to each other.

I loved getting to see Neville and Aurelia as teachers at Hogwarts, too, and the way that you described Hogwarts was so cool - it kind of felt like we were returning there with Edie, since it's been a while since I read the books. I loved the way that she felt surrounded in magic again because the whole place is designed specifically for it. It really made me feel like I was going back there with her.

The idea of the staff having a party at the end of the year is a great one - I don't blame them for it either, since teaching is such a hard job. I feel like they definitely deserved to let off steam, and it made me laugh how excited Neville was to get drunk at school. It would definitely feel a bit strange to drink where you'd never been allowed to.

Hannah ♥ It was great to see her, and I love the way you portrayed her here, she's so sweet and lovely. Her and Neville make such a good couple!

Ah, the photo! I was so sure that something different was going to come from Edie discovering that Oliver still kept the photo of them in his robes when I read that part, but I'm not sure any more - still hoping, though! I definitely think that Edie and Oliver needed to talk properly about the situation and everything that had happened, and I'm glad she's had a chance to apologise, but I'm really hoping for a different ending. I'm reading on to find out :)

Sian :)

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Review #4, by nott theodoreL'optimisme: Hungary

8th March 2016:
So I have a little more time and I couldn't really resist catching up on another chapter of this story :) I can't believe you've made it to twenty chapters already and I'm so far behind! Maybe when I finally finish this year's work and exams I'll have time to catch up (please don't have finished by then :P)

The opening of this chapter was fantastic - I loved the imagery that you used there. I could see the image so clearly in my mind, Gellert locked up in the tower, high above the wolves that he knows are running free through the forest beneath him. The comparison between Gellert and the wolves just worked so well, too - the ideas of power and strength and hunger that it evoked felt very compatible with his character.

Seeing the way that he thought of Albus at this point was so interesting, too! The comparison with the captive fox was really intriguing - the parallels that it drew between the two of them, yet again, since Gellert is a prisoner in Nurmengard and Albus, in his own way, is held captive in his tower. It kind of suggested that even though they're miles apart, in situations so far from each other, they're still the same in some ways.

The fact that they both see each other as wolves in their dreams really added to it, too - the sense of nostalgia and the longing for what they could have had, and the idea that they've continued together on the path even though they've lived such separate lives. The whole passage was just brilliant, really.

Gellert's voice is growing, too, and I like the way that it's developing in maturity. At times it's almost bitter, but he seems to have accepted his fate and actually be spending most of the time thinking and reflecting on what's happened. It's so compelling to read.

I also loved the fact that we got to find out some of Gellert's back story in this chapter! I think I knew a couple of things from reading your other stories, but definitely not to this extent, and since we know so much about how Albus grew up and stuff, it was great to get to know Gellert more. Even if it doesn't seem to directly affect what they're doing in the present, I always think it helps us to understand a character better. And the way that you introduced it and used it was so skilful - we're far enough into their story that it doesn't feel like an information dump (not that your writing ever could feel like that) and even at the end you bring it back to Albus and their story together.

I felt so sorry for Gellert in this chapter. Right from his reluctance to go to see his dying mother, I could tell that it wasn't going to be an easy experience for him. The fact that he was illegitimate makes so much sense to me, though, and I had so much sympathy there. It's so ridiculous that the children were condemned for what their parents had done, because people thought that they were born of sin and therefore had to be sinners themselves, but it was such a real situation for so many people at this time, and I'm glad that you showed how difficult it could really be. As far as Gellert's half-siblings knew, he hadn't done anything to actually deserve being shunned, and it's so unfair that they treated him that way, but it is understandable in a way. The fact that Gellert shows an understanding of it too really emphasises what social attitudes towards children born outside marriage were at the time.

I loved the line about all families having their own secrets! It's so true. Every family hides something from the world while they try and present a perfect image, a front that's considered socially acceptable. Maybe part of the reason that Albus and Gellert are drawn to each other and seem to understand each other so well is because they both know what it's like to live in a family that's full of secrets. The consequences and effects that must have on them are kind of similar - or at least create some similarities in their outlooks, I think.

It's so heartbreaking that Gellert's mother had to fake her own son's death so that she could save her marriage and get to stay with the children she already had. That shouldn't ever have to happen, but there are plenty of places where that sort of thing still goes on today and it's horrible to think of. Gellert was actually quite lucky in a way that his father was willing to take him and bring him up alone. Then there was his father's pain and regret - Gellert's background is so complicated and difficult. I am glad that his mother got to tell him that she loved him, though, even if it didn't make much difference to him.

Again, the ending was brilliant (how much time do you take planning and writing them out?!). I loved the wistful way that Gellert longed for someone, not quite admitting to himself until he had to that he was really missing Albus. The way each chapter starts and ends with each thinking of the other really reinforces the way that they feel, the enduring connection between them. Even though they took such different paths and parted in such horrible circumstances, I still feel like there's going to be a connection between them that goes beyond love - the two of them are like equals, and really the only one the other acknowledges as an equal, I think, and they're the only person that can stop the other from feeling lonely. (If any of that makes sense. I'm getting tired and rambling again. Sorry :P)

Hopefully I can get a break from my horrible amount of work at some point and come back to read more of this beautiful story soon ♥

Sian :)

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Review #5, by nott theodoreL'optimisme: Malapropisms

8th March 2016:
Hi Laura! I'm here for our swap - uni has been swamping me recently (I'm sure you know the feeling) so I'm really excited to get the chance to come and read some more of your writing. I've really missed it and this story ♥

The first thing that struck me about this was your writing - kind of like always, really. I'm sure you're getting bored of me saying it by now, sorry :P But I've been away from this story - and most fanfiction in general - for quite a while, and it was still so easy for me to slip back into it as if it was the most natural thing to be reading. I just love the description and elegance and everything about your writing, and it makes it so easy to come back to this story, even after a break.

The introspection that threaded throughout this chapter was brilliant. I felt like it really showcased the way that Albus is getting older and growing as a person, someone who's seen more and experienced more than the teenage boy who was forced home after his mother's death and left to look after his family in his frustration. There was so much truth here about humanity in general that it's kind of scary, but it felt like it fit with his character so well. Albus is finally realising his own flaws and starting to admit them, even if it's not openly. When we see him in the books, he's still reluctant - like everybody is, I think - to admit his own faults and not be infallible. I wonder whether that's part of why he hid so much from Harry - he saw in Harry the sort of person that he'd like to have been, with that sense of right, and didn't want to let him down when he knew that Harry respected and loved him. (Sorry, that's kind of a tangential ramble, you can ignore that :P) Anyway, I loved the fact that Albus was so introspective here and it really showed how much he's grown and developed as a person over the years.

The thoughts on immortality were so interesting, too! Really, it's so true - even if we think that we'd rise above the idea of wanting to live forever (which sounds like a nightmare to me), so many of us chase, or at least dream of, immortality in some other form. We want to be remembered. We fear leaving the world without a trace and not having left behind some contribution that makes a difference. So in a way, we're all looking for a way to be immortal.

Achieving something that will make you - or at least your name - immortal at the age of just twenty-five sounds kind of terrifying to me to be honest, haha. That would be so incredibly overwhelming, and of course a fantastic achievement, but I can see how that would trigger so many painful memories for Albus and lead him into behaviour that he'd go on to regret.

I felt really sorry for Alain here :( He seemed similar in some ways to Gellert, which I suspect was the initial attraction for Albus, but in the end just highlighted the differences between the two of them. Albus still loves Gellert, in spite of his efforts to forget him, although he's more willing here to admit his flaws than he has been in the past. But I felt like Alain really got caught up in something that he couldn't truly imagine or understand and I felt really sorry for him when Albus was unable to be kind to him the next morning and he just had to leave.

Maybe it's because I'm weird and have strange interests, but I loved the fact that you included a fragment of that letter that Gellert had sent to Albus. The way that he used all of those theories and works to justify his ideas was so fascinating, and it just shows how deeply you've thought about this and their plans. But through the years, so many people in similar positions have used what sounds like very reasonable argument to justify their causes, so it fit really well with that - after all, Gellert can't have risen to power entirely through his own skill. There has to have been charisma and charm in there to get people on his side, and a solid way to persuade people. I think Albus's reaction - the way that he wanted to find something to say other than 'I agree' in response to it, because he knew it wasn't really the right thing to do - was really telling. It shows how easy it would be to accept that sort of argument, and in a way maybe why Albus went along with it for so long, because he couldn't argue with the logic behind the argument. It's kind of worrying that Gellert was able to make such a rational argument about their plans being 'For the Greater Good' but we've seen it time and time again over history, so it's really believable.

I'm so intrigued by Albus returning to England, going back home. He's been running away from what happened because his memory of Gellert and Ariana and that night's events is fixed there, or so he thinks, but in reality it's in his mind and he can't escape it wherever he is. The physical return to England really shows the way he's starting to try and distance himself entirely from Gellert, though, and make a name for himself - and I guess will make it easier for him to ignore what's happening in Europe over the coming years.

The last line was just beautiful, too - so well done! It really captured Albus's frame of mind and the way that he can't escape Gellert wherever he goes - in a way, going back home and knowing that the memories will be waiting for him there could even be a form of acceptance and a willingness to start dealing with what happened, rather than trying to escape it?

Anyway, predictably, I loved this - and I'm sorry for rambling so much in this review! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #6, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : staring into space

6th March 2016:
Wow.

I was definitely not expecting the ending and that massive twist. I'll talk more about that later but I just wanted to say you did a really good job writing such an intense and difficult subject and it takes a lot to include something like this in the story.

It's really sweet to see Effy's friends gathering around her when she's struggling with the break-up - or break - with James. It's obvious to them that she's hurting, no matter how hard she tries to hide it, and it takes good friends to be there for her and want to let her talk about it if she needs it. The scene between her and Mikey was really sweet, too. I'm not sure that he doesn't like her as more than friends, but I think he was just really sweet and a good friend here when she needed him and I'm glad there was someone there for Effy.

I'm really glad that Ravenclaw won the Quidditch match, too! Go Effy! (As long as they don't bat Gryffindor, which I'm sure they will do, but... :P)

The party was so difficult to read, particularly with Jasmine. I can't say much more about it except that I really, really hope that she's okay and I'm so glad she has friends who care about her and went after her, and that they're going to be there for her when she wakes up and starts to realise what has happened. Well done again for writing the topic so sensitively - and I'm looking forward to the next update now I'm caught up!

Sian :)
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Review #7, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : the owlery

6th March 2016:
Oh my goodness, I honestly loved that last little detail about the t-shirt - it fits in with James's character so well and it made me laugh even though that part was quite sad.

I should have known that things weren't going to end well for Effy and James with everything that happened in the last chapter - it was almost too happy for them, to be honest. I wasn't sure that I was expecting it to unravel so quickly, but it honestly seems like a really difficult relationship for the two of them to keep going when there's so much miscommunication between them and they don't get to see each other very often. Even though they've opened up a bit about certain things, I still feel like neither of them - James especially - are ready to let someone else in entirely and that's not exactly going to work for them to have a proper relationship.

Having said that, I'm so glad that Effy is sticking to her guns here and she's not just rolling over and doing everything that James wants her to. It infuriates me so much when I read characters doing that because I can't agree with it at all and it's sad to think that some girls do that. Even so, it's really clear how much James means to her at the end.

I wonder if he has actually changed, to be honest - it's so easy to say that and obviously part of me wants him to have, but I think it's going to take a lot for her to be able to trust him properly. I'm looking forward to seeing where Louis and Aspen goes too!

Sian :)
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Review #8, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : unicorn blood

6th March 2016:
Wow, this was an action-packed chapter, I'm not sure I even know where to start with this review to be honest!

I really loved the start with the way that Scorpius and Rose aren't actually that big gossip anymore because of Effy and James. Again, it just shows how quickly rumours can spread and change at schools and, even though it's been a few years now since I was at school, it was easy to relate to and made me laugh.

Again - and sorry if I'm boring you by saying this - I love your characters. They're just so vivid and realistic and I love reading about them because you create such a brilliant cast. Even if they don't all appear in one chapter, I'm pretty much guaranteed to like whoever is in the chapter, which is great.

Yay, Rose and Effy are talking again! I'm not sure Rose was really justified in being so mean to Effy last time but considering she is Aspen's best friend it was probably understandable that she was lashing out and upset over what happened.

Effy figured out her Patronus too! It's so great to see her progressing like that and improving, it's a great reminder that she's still at school and learning and growing and this story isn't just a romance or her having fun with her friends. You manage to keep all the different plots going really well.

Aw, poor Albus, following Poppy around only to get a drink dumped on him :P I feel like that's going to happen eventually, but it's going to be good for him not to get his own way easily the whole time!

And Effy and James were really sweet at the end of this chapter - I really liked seeing how caring he was and that he wanted to make sure she was making the right decision. Although now I'm worried that something really bad is going to happen...

Sian :)
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Review #9, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : the usual atticus

6th March 2016:
Honestly, I don't mention it in every review because that would probably get a little repetitive and boring for you, but I love how entertaining and funny this story is. I don't know how you manage it, because I really can't write humour very well, but every single one of your chapters is filled with so much humour and so many brilliant lines that make me stop and chuckle as I read this.

Ah, so James and Effy are official! Considering their history and how long it's taken them to get here, I'm not sure how long this is going to last, to be honest, but for now I'm glad that they're together and both of them seem happy with it. I hope they can keep it up and not have silly arguments about things they disagree on rather than talking it through like adults.

Jasmine didn't have a lot of time in this chapter but when she was there she was great - I think she's actually becoming one of my favourite characters! It'd be great to see more of her in the future too.

Haha, it's been a while waiting for Scorpius and Rose to get together, but I really liked the way that you changed round the narrative structure a bit here in the chapter to show the way that the rumours spread so quickly in Hogwarts. It's so true of how quickly rumours do spread at school and it made me laugh.

I'm curious about what's happening with Mikey, too - it seems like maybe he's got feelings for Effy? I'm not sure, I don't want him to be upset but I don't think Effy thinks of him that way at all...

Sian :)
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Review #10, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : albus! albus! albus!

6th March 2016:
Yay! I'm so glad that things are starting to work out with James and Effy and they're actually starting to be honest with each other, because it gives me some hope that there might be a future for them if they can keep on like this, but I still can't help wondering if something's going to go wrong still and get in the way. You have been keeping us on a rollercoaster with the two of them...

I'm glad that Aspen is feeling better and deciding to get back out there and date. She didn't deserve to be upset for ages and I think in the long run her and Scorpius as just friends is going to work much better for both of them.

Aha, I loved seeing Albus fancying Poppy! It's actually kind of what I predicted, haha - Poppy being so mad that someone had told Albus she fancied him worked in her favour because it meant she was prepared when he decided to try some 'flirty banter' with her (which is so awkward and cringey and I'm not surprised she rejected it). And now she's got the upper hand because she hasn't given into Albus like all the other girls have, so I can definitely see them making a cute couple in the long-run.

It was so nice to see James opening up and being much more sensitive and caring towards Effy, even if it was mixed in with a load of the arrogance that seems to characterise him. I hope that they keep on like this :)

Sian :)
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Review #11, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : labradors, hedgehogs

6th March 2016:
Hola!

Actually, I really love the fact that every chapter isn't just focused entirely around Effy and James, even though I love reading the scenes between them as well. It's so refreshing to read a story where the protagonist still has a life outside of her relationship/romance and wants to do other things and have her own friendships.

Another thing I really enjoy about this story is that you put the effort into the little details about their classwork and different things like that which make the story seem more realistic. I know that we get a lot of information about Patronuses in the books (probably more than most other spells) but I really liked seeing them learn to cast the charm themselves here and want to improve. It was nice in a way to see that Effy couldn't do it straight away, too - I swear that it's so common for OCs to be perfect and great at something. I'm curious to find out what her Patronus is going to be!

Ah, Scorpius was definitely thinking about Rose when he conjured the Patronus! At least he did the right thing when he realised that he'd been thinking about her and didn't keep stringing Aspen along, and I'm glad that they want to stay friends. I'm so curious about what might happen between Rose and Scorpius too now.

Again, I really loved reading all the different conversations between the different characters because you just portray the dynamics of friendships so well. I like getting to meet some of the new characters that we've not really seen before as well.

Ah, Albus has his eye on someone! I hope that she turns out to be good for him and maybe even holds out on him a bit longer than most other girls seem to, as well!

Sian :)
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Review #12, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : wild horses, part.2

6th March 2016:
Hi again!

Ah, I knew that Effy was probably going to end up making some bad decisions during this party, and I was right. Then again, excessive alcohol consumption doesn't always make for the best ideas anyway :P and I'm not sure that hers and James's relationship is exactly well balanced or thought-out (at least, so far) so it's hardly surprising that Effy decided that she was going to try and make James jealous by kissing other guys after she heard rumours about him doing things with other girls. I'm glad she didn't do anything else, though - it wouldn't have been for the right reasons at all.

I love Jasmine though! She only came in as a kind of minor character, it seemed, and I'm really excited that we're getting to see a lot more of her now. She's so cool and I can imagine her and Effy ending up as really good friends in this story. I hope we get to see more of her.

FINALLY! Some honesty from James! I feel like they're not going to get anywhere unless they're honest with each other so it's really a relief to see them being honest and admitting feelings!

Sian :)
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Review #13, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : wild horses

6th March 2016:
Hi again!

I really liked the descriptions at the beginning of this chapter - that's another thing I keep meaning to mention, but I love the way that you manage to balance some really great descriptions with the humour and dialogue that you've got going in this. It's such a well-rounded and balanced story and I really enjoy reading your writing.

The Prophet party made me laugh so much, though - I could relate to it really easily, especially when Effy and Jack were trying to work out who all the people they were being introduced to were and having to talk to them. It's always a really awkward age when people start to talk to you like adults but you don't really know what you're doing, and so it's always awkward in those situations. And I come from a massive family so at family events I'm always trying to work out who extended family members are when they introduce themselves to me :P

I'm still not sure how to feel about James and Effy, and I can understand that she's so drawn to him but I still feel like he needs to do something more to make it up to her.

Hahaha, I couldn't help but laugh a lot at the idea of the boys trying to get Scorpius to join them on their camping trip and then completely messing it up - even though it seemed really dangerous. Of course they'd get Effy to come and help them sort their mess out :P

And uh-oh... I'm not sure how this party is going to go, and I have a feeling that it's not going to end very well...

Sian :)
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Review #14, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : some aloe vera?

6th March 2016:
Ah dear, this chapter is yet another example of how you're going to spend the rest of this novel playing around with our feelings, I suspect. And another example of why I can't decide whether or not I actually like James, despite the fact that I kind of want him and Effy to get together, which is unusual for a novel that I'm this invested in. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens in the rest of the story, though, and really hoping that James grows up a bit...

Anyway, I loved the idea of Romilda as an aunty that just pops up every now and then and doesn't quite remember all the things she's meant to. She was actually really likeable here - I always imagined that she'd grow up quite a lot after the war and things that happened around then, and I like the way she kind of tempers Effy's mum as well.

The discussion about the war kept going through the chapter, and it's making me seriously wonder whether something serious is going to happen - especially with Effy's brother old enough to be conscripted if that were the case, because that could have a real impact on her life. I'm glad you didn't just abandon it after one chapter :)

I honestly love Oscar. He's so completely ridiculously but also so hilarious at the same time. He's so disdainful for normal people which normally really irritates me, but I can't help loving him here.

The date was really cute - to begin with. I liked the way that James took her somewhere a bit more unusual, even though it got crashed by his friends.

The ending, though... ugh. James has some really strong opinions, as Effy says, and the problem is that he thinks he's right about everything and doesn't even seem willing to consider an alternative point of view. Feminism is still such an important issue but the topic still gets that reaction nowadays from people I know. But I honestly don't think I could go out with someone who was so happy to undermine me...

Sian :)
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Review #15, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : tattered velvet carpeting

6th March 2016:
Ooh, I actually really liked the opening and the discussion of the possible war! I've don't think I've ever read about possibilities of international wizarding wars before in fanfiction, but it's really fascinating. From a British reader's perspective, the parallels that you can draw with Muggle attitudes to war from the different countries, it was really interesting to see again. I hope they don't go to war but that could be a really interesting plot twist to the story, too.

The conversations between the friends on the train were really great - I know that I keep saying it and you're probably going to get bored of it, but I do love how realistic and believable the dynamics between the characters are in this story!

Ah, and James and Effy again! I'm looking forward to this date, although part of me can't help suspecting that it's going to go wrong... But I love the chemistry between them.

It's only a tiny detail, but again I loved the way that Jasmine's from a Muslim family and there's some sort of representation in this story. It's something I feel is so important and I love seeing it in stories like this one.

Effy's family are really interesting and I feel like they'll be quite entertaining to read more about over the Christmas holidays!

Sian :)
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Review #16, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : it's cold outside

6th March 2016:
Oh dear, I can see that you're going to take us on a complete rollercoaster with James and Effy in this story. I mean, just in this chapter there were so many ups and downs and they were together and not and I'm so confused :P

The opening of this chapter was really cute! I loved the way that James took Effy somewhere different and spent some time just with her, and then the way he spoke to the kid, Harry, and his mum was really sweet too. I can understand him not wanting to own up to his family connections all the time, but it was really sweet that he was so complimentary about his dad anyway. I think we got to see a different side of him there and it's so obvious that there's chemistry between them.

Ugh - how can he ask her to give up Quidditch, though? That's just such a stupid thing to do, and really not okay - I honestly can't decide if I like James or not at the moment, because even though he's got a really sweet side, I still feel like there's an arrogance about him that might not make him a great boyfriend - at least, compared to Albus. Anyway, I completely agree with Effy leaving him on that.

But even so, there's a lot of chemistry between them and I feel like if the two of them work out how to act around each other eventually, they'll be able to work it out. We'll see, I guess. I liked the way the final scene mirrored the scene when Effy was in hospital, too, and that you're not ignoring some of the prejudices.

Sian :)
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Review #17, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : unbroken and wild

6th March 2016:
Ah, you really can't go wrong with a good Mean Girls reference, can you? Or a Dirty Dancing reference either, for that matter!

Oscar is so awesome - I love how sassy he is and how much he teases Aspen and Effy. He actually really reminds me of one of my friends, so every line I read of Oscar's is actually in my friend's voice, haha. And the dynamic between the three of them is great - I've said it before, but I really do love the way that you write the relationships between the characters here. The interactions all just seem so believable and real.

I like the way that you're introducing us to more and more characters in Effy's year. There were quite a few at the start as it was, but now the ones that we're getting to see are easier to handle as we know the others already. Jasmine seems really nice.

The description of the Gryffindor common room really made me laugh, especially with the way that everyone seemed so ready for a party. What is James doing though? The two of them dancing again was really cute, and so was what he told her, but I feel like he's messing her around quite a bit... I feel like there's going to be a lot of will-they-won't-they before they get together...

WHY IS HE BACK WITH DALIA? WHAT IS GOING ON?

Sian :)
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Review #18, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : little sisters

6th March 2016:
I meant to mention this before, but I really like all the references to Muggle culture in here. I can definitely imagine Muggle-borns being prouder of their heritage after the war and trying to bring some of their culture into Hogwarts, especially with books and things, and their friends from magical families embracing it too.

I liked the differences that you highlighted between the two brothers, as well. I think it kind of shows the reasons that Effy is attracted to one and good friends with the other.

You did a great job of writing the Quidditch, too! I'm always so nervous writing Quidditch scenes and I know it can't be easy to always write the action, but you did a really good job of it. I liked seeing Effy in her element chasing the Snitch, even if she didn't manage to catch it safely.

Ah, James caught her! That's really sweet, and the ending definitely showed how much he cares about her, even if neither of them are really going to admit it to each other yet. It was great to see all of her friends gathered round and worried about her too, it showed how much support she has and how close the team are too.

Sian :)
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Review #19, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : rose petals scattered

6th March 2016:
Hi!

Haha, I had so much fun reading the opening section of this chapter - it sounds like they had a good time when they were out partying! I find it a bit unrealistic at times when stories have everyone partying constantly in the Room of Requirement, but I can definitely imagine the older students sneaking out to a club or something when they get to leave for Hogsmeade, and then a lot of chaos happening. The idea of Neville getting into a fight with the club manager made me laugh so much! And then Effy and Freddie having a rap-off too... it sounds like she'd be fun to hang out with :P

Ah, so Albus and Effy broke up! Yay, I probably shouldn't be so happy about that, but I'm just really relieved that it was a mutual decision and that they've decided they want to stay friends. They definitely seem like they get on and I can imagine them being quite close in the future. It's kind of sad that Albus hasn't had many close girl friends before because they've only been interested in him romantically - and probably because of his name.

I'd never thought about it the same way before, but I loved the fact that Danny was feeling so much pressure to prove himself because he's Muggle-born and doesn't want to be forgotten. That's a really believable take on it.

Ooh, and James wants to know why they broke up! He's definitely interested in Effy, but I still feel like it might take them a while to get together or anything...

Sian :)
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Review #20, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : call me darling

6th March 2016:
Ciao!

I do really like Albus and Effy together, but having read the whole of this chapter, I can't help but feeling that there's not the same chemistry between them that there is between James and Effy. I hope that, if anything does happen between Effy and James, that it won't be behind Albus's back and that they can stay friends.

The section with JJ was so funny, the way that he treated Albus and all of the things that he said. The stories that Effy had to tell Albus afterwards about the different things that JJ had done over the years were really amusing, too.

Ooh, a hint of Rose/Scorpius! Hmm, I'm really intrigued about how that's going to play out, especially with the way that Albus has noticed there might have been something between them. Maybe something happened and it went wrong? Especially with the argument that happened later on between Scorpius and Aspen, I feel like maybe they won't last for very long...

The dance and the Halloween festival was such a great addition! I loved the idea of the Hogwarts students and the people from Hogsmeade celebrating older traditions too. The dance definitely showed some chemistry between Effy and James, I'm really curious whether anything will happen between them!

Sian :)
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Review #21, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : more than nice

6th March 2016:
Hola!

Aw, Effy and Albus are just so cute! Honestly, I really like the way that you're writing the two of them, even if things might not work out between them, I hope they stay friends because they seem to get on really well. The conversation between them at the end of the chapter was great, and I loved seeing how nervous and awkward Albus was about being round Effy and getting up the courage to ask her out. They're just adorable ♥

I really like the way that you're writing Effy here, too. She's not just a Quidditch player, it's obvious that it's something that's important to her and something that she actually enjoys - I think there's a tendency at times to have the characters on Quidditch teams just because it's a convenient way of meeting the romantic interest, but it's not the case here. Although I can appreciate her team's complaints about their captain and the training - I definitely would get frustrated with it, but I have a feeling it'll help them get some wins in this season (at least I hope so, which is a lot coming from a Gryffindor ;)).

I really liked the friendships, again - you're doing a great job of writing the interactions between the characters because it all seems so natural and believable. I'm really enjoying this story!

Sian :)
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Author's Response: i've just skimmed over these first few chapters and they're in need of a MAJOR re-write. i am genuinely blushing- please don't judge me on my 2013 writing! i am so embarrassed! and you are too, too kind for still being so nice about it. thank you, thank you, thank you!

you've made me physically smile, your comments are so lovely. i just wish that these early chapters merited them! have i mentioned how embarrassed i am? thank you again sian! you've totally made my day on this rainy sunday afternoon. i hope the rest doesn't disappoint! ♥


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Review #22, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : communism in mermish

6th March 2016:
Hi again!

Oh my goodness, I've just realised that I spelt Effy wrong in my last review and now that's so embarrassing - please forgive me! :(

Ah, this chapter went in a direction I wasn't expecting from the first one, so I'm really intrigued to see what happens from here. If Effy likes Albus now but is going to end up with James, it could be really messy with the two brothers and I hope that doesn't happen because it would be so awkward and difficult. Anyway, it's exciting for Effy that Albus seems to like her back at the moment and I'm really curious to see what's going to happen next.

One thing I didn't mention yet was the humour that runs throughout these chapters. It's just so entertaining to read this story, and there's so much humour threaded through the narrative that it makes me smile. JJ Fletcher is a very amusing and vivid character (I can imagine how awkward it would feel for Effy to have him obsessed with her) and the thoughts on the History of Magic chapter were so relatable. It's such a disappointment that a subject with so much potential is taught by such a terrible teacher.

The friendships so far are great, too - I loved the way you wrote the conversation between Mikey and Effy, because it seemed really realistic and natural. And the gossip about Dalia and James was certainly interesting - though of course Effy has no idea it's actually about her...

Sian :)
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Review #23, by nott theodoreFluorescent Adolescent : crushed moon extract

6th March 2016:
Hi there! I'm here reviewing for the HPFF Fundraiser. I have to admit that this one's been in my favourites list for quite a while and I've been terrible, reading and not reviewing because I've not had time, but I thought it was about time to fix that!

I think the first thing that really struck me with this chapter is how brilliant your characters are. For the first chapter of any novel, it's usually quite hard to get to know the people in it, but here I already feel like I know the characters. Effie's voice comes through so strongly, but you've also managed to avoid including too much of the sarcastic internal monologue that I think often happens in this type of story (not that it's necessarily a bad thing, but I just think not doing that here makes it stand out a little more) and your cast so far are great.

Oscar is brilliant! It's fantastic to see some of the diversity in our society reflected in stories, and it's nice to get some of the back story to them too, and I like the fact that his friends were supportive of him when he came out as gay, too. It makes such a difference to have friends like that. Aspen seems quite different to Effie and I'm intrigued about their friendship, and I loved the introduction of James Potter, too!

Sian :)
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Review #24, by nott theodoreThe Scarf: The Scarf

6th March 2016:
Hey! I saw this in the recently added pages and couldn't resist clicking on it - and I'm so glad I did, because this was a wonderful story! I loved it!

If there's one non-canon pairing that I actually tend to read, it's Neville and Luna, because I can see those two together in canon, so I thought it was really cute that this started with Neville watching Luna and getting really jealous of Rolf because he wanted to be the one by her side and playing with her scarf. You wrote his jealousy really well - particularly the sort of irrational thoughts that it made him have, that were kind of out-of-character for Neville otherwise - and I absolutely loved his internal monologue. You captured his voice brilliantly in this story and I just had so much fun reading it. It honestly felt like Neville was the one speaking through the whole thing.

The concept of the story was great, too - if I hadn't read your author's note at the end, I probably wouldn't have even realised that there was a prompt behind the story. I love the idea of different people coming back to play Quidditch at Hogwarts in an attempt to promote house unity, and Neville being a new professor, and then Hermione's reluctance to tell him off despite it being almost second nature to her.

The circular structure was fantastic - I loved the way that it started and ended with a scarf and the subtle differences in colour revealing their house and maybe even what they mean to Neville - or will mean - eventually? It was so cute to see Hannah coming in at the end and grabbing Neville's attention that way.

This was brilliant and I really loved reading it - congratulations on a great first one-shot, too!

Sian :)
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Review #25, by nott theodoreWilted Salad: Wilted Salad

6th March 2016:
Hi there! I'm reviewing for the Fundraiser - I got a chance to read this when we were judging for the Writer's Duel, and it was one of my personal favourites, so it's really great to get to read it again and leave you a review this time!

I love the fact that you chose Petunia - the variety that came from this prompt was so great to see, and I loved seeing the way that you explored Petunia's character through this story. Honestly, she's not the easiest character to like - I think we can all agree with that - but she definitely was relatable here. I found myself feeling really sorry for her, and sympathy for Petunia isn't something that comes easily when we've seen the way she treats Harry in the books, so that's great!

I think the way that you explored so many different aspects of her character in this one-shot was really great. You managed to really capture the way that she felt when her sister got the letter to go to Hogwarts and she didn't, the sense of isolation and being left behind - of not being chosen. It's actually really sad that she felt that, and the way that she tried so hard for so long to repair that and join her sister amongst the ranks of the 'special' people, the ones who'd been chosen for their ability.

I've never seen anyone writing about the possibility to join Hogwarts after 11 before, so that was really original. And I felt so sorry for her when she tried so hard to prove she had magical ability before she turned 16, only to be turned down and rejected again. It made it really easy to understand why she felt so bitter.

This was a great story, and I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks so much for writing it and taking part in the Duel!

Sian :)
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