Reading Reviews From Member: Lady Asphodel
  
203 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lady AsphodelPainful Bliss: Prologue: Beginnings

12th April 2015:
Hey Deeds! This was for the ctf game, but it's not needed anymore. I decided to leave this review for you anyway. :)



What's really attracting about the beginning of this chapter is how Draco sees Astoria. I never read a fic where a guy admires a girl for her flaws and not for her beauty. Or in a way, you're saying her flaws is what makes Astoria beautiful to Draco, which I find quite intriguing. And your description of her is different of how authors normally describe women through a man's view.

It makes me wonder how Astoria saw Draco when they first met.



And I have a great appreciate for how simple Draco made his letter. Like you said, that one line was enough for him to put all his feelings into.


A really nice chapter! I enjoyed this a lot, and I don't normally care for Draco-centric stories. This is really good though!



- Asphodel

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Review #2, by Lady AsphodelIn Sickness And In Health: Perseverance

12th April 2015:
(Gryffindor Accio Attackers CTF Round 5: jailbreak)


Hey Grace!


Forgive me! I'm jumping into your story without reading chapters 1 & 2.



Your description of Hermione's surroundings in the beginning is amazing! It has a warm soft feeling to it. :)


I see Draco and Hermione are getting along. I really like the interaction between them two, even if it's a little awkward. And I really love the scene with Draco getting confused with the tv deal. Haha. I never would have imagined him acting like that, but it doesn't seem overly crazy.

I'm not a dramione shipper, but I have to admit, the way you are writing sways me a little.

There's nothing too off about their characters, which is what I see is most dramione fics. So really good job!



Oh! I also love how Harry and Ron (particularly Harry) for being supportive of what Hermione is going through - since she is stuck with Draco.

I can see if Draco makes one wrong move, they'll be there to step in.


I really enjoyed this! And the plot is different, and you're giving me a reason to give Dramione a shot.



- Asphodel

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Review #3, by Lady AsphodelOh My Darling: 1

11th April 2015:
Hey Cassie! I'm here for the Review exchange! (And thanks for the review on my story too!)


I like the brief introduction of Clementine and Elizabeth. Although, I think it'd been better to actually learn how the characters are through their actions... and not through telling it right off.

It's okay to do "telling" through story, but describing it... or letting the readers literally see through the eyes of their character will help us as readers to grow an attachment to them.


Like for example, how Hermione - we all know she's smart and the brightest witch of her age, but Rowling doesn't outright say it - you know?

We learn through how in the Philosopher of Stone, she already knew spells when she first met Harry and Ron. She always the first to raise her hand in classes or always have the answer ready. Hermione recites what learns from reading. Rowling doesn't say in the books right away when Hermione's introduced like,

"A girl name Hermione Granger enter the car. She's smart, a bit-stuck up, and takes her academics seriously."


Do you understand where I am going with this?

I don't mean to be harsh or anything. And I don't mean that how you started it off was bad.

As I said, to really give us readers a reason to care about your OC's is to help readers step into their shoes and walk in them, not walk along side with the characters.



Also, I am just learning this myself. And I understand how relying on description can be a tad-bit difficult. :)



So... moving on.


I can relate to Clementine in being reclusive. I'm not a sociable person at certain times.


And I have friends like Elizabeth who would like to see me come out of my shell like she does with Clementine.


I love how you added of when and how Elizabeth and Clementine became friends. It's amusing to imagine how bold Elizabeth to Clementine declare friends.



I love their interaction - it's quite witty, and how they balance each other out too. Clementine keeps her grounded, and Elizabeth helps her to loosen up.




I see Clementine is taking a slight interest in Albus. Perhaps soon, he'll too in her. :)


A really nice written chapter overall! Great job! ^_^



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you for the feedback on the beginning of the chapter! The narration style for this story is really different from anything I've written before, so I'm kind of figuring it out as I go along, and your feedback is really helpful. I'll look at the beginning again and see if I can add some more showing to balance out the telling :)
I'm glad you liked Clementine and Elizabeth! They're quite the pair, but they do really love and support each other. They're able to balance each other out, but each one still lets the other be herself.
Albus is the focus for a good bit of the next chapter, so we can see how things are for him as well as Clem.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for the swap!
Cassie :)


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Review #4, by Lady AsphodelRules of the Game: Let the Games Begin

10th April 2015:
(Gryffindor CTF AA, Round 5 ~ Jailbreak)


In this chapter everyone is settling in - in Hogwarts. I don't know why Lily is being such a downer about the Hat's song, but I loved it! And you did a great job with it! ^_^


Again - dang it! I still need to know what Albus needed to tell Ivy! :(


I liked how the girls tried to guess a few of the first year students houses. :P


Poppy, Poppy, Poppy, Poppy, is really getting on my nerves. Haha - hopefully as the story progresses... (Doubts)


And the feast! I always enjoy reading about the feast! You did really good with describing the food. I haven't eat all day, so you're making me incredibly hungry. :P


I really loved how you described the dorms for Heads. It's short yet really nice! :D


Everything about your story is just great! Really good characterizations of your OC's and Lily. You description with scenes! It's a gift! &heart; Hope that I can learn that from you!




- Asphodel

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Review #5, by Lady AsphodelReckless Abandonment: Before I Fall To Pieces

10th April 2015:
(Gryffindor CTF AA, Round 5: jailbreak)


So now I'm on to the next chapter!



Lydia seems to be unsure of Sirius' true self, but I'm glad that she's not letting that stop her from wanting to continue to be with him.


And Sirius finally understands that there's more to love than meets the eye. ;) (So no more making fun of James. :P)


This line,

‘Although, I'm looking for a boyfriend, not a pet. That part still creeps me out a bit.'


Haha! Very funny! And Sirius' response.


So sweet! I'm so happy for them. XD


I have forgot to mention how amusing it is to see Sirius just as clueless of Muggle technicalities (With the telephone and 'Romeo and Juliet,' - like the Weasleys.)

Whoah! Okay! I didn't expect Lydia to get kidnapped and by Bellatrix no less. However, I see that this is when Lily, James, and Harry goes into hiding, so Bellatrix would go after Sirius to get to his friends.


Oh my gosh! I hope Lydia ends up alright! I love the action scene! I thought for a minute Sirius was going to bite Bellatrix, but then maybe it'd been a little overboard. I don't know.


I'm really enjoying this story so far Lauren! I'll be back to read the last chapter - whether through the CTF game or on my own time. ;D



- Asphodel

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Review #6, by Lady AsphodelRules of the Game: Just Friends

10th April 2015:
(Gryffindor CTF: Round 5 -- AA ~ Jailbreak!)


Alright Lauren! I had to skip chapter 3 & 4 for now. So forgive me! :D



This chapter really gives a good insight of the great friendship between Ivy, Lily, Alice, Jimmy, and Hugo. :D

I really like the tidbits of things about the characters as well. Lily's cheekiness, Alice bashfulness. Jimmy's aura of always being ready for the day. He's so cheery. ^_^ Oh and it's so cool how you have a Journalist club at Hogwarts! Poppy is so ugh! So Malfoyish - or the like.


Mm... since I didn't read the last two previous chapters, I don't know what exactly happened to Alice, but judging by Neville's concern, it must have been big. I did note of the mentioning of the Threstrals. And Alice's exasperation at knowing her mother knows, haha - I see she has a lot of placating to do. :P



I have to say, I love the names of the professors that you have for this generation. (Unless a few of them are real - and I'm unaware of that fact. :P) Either way - I still love them! ;D


Ooohhh Hugo and Alice!!! I hope Lily and Ivy do get those two together! Nothing more sweet and infuriating see two people like each other but they deny the other like them and/or doesn't do anything about it.



- Asphodel

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Review #7, by Lady AsphodelRules of the Game: Boys Gossip Too

10th April 2015:
(Gryffindor CTF: Round 5 -- Jailbreak!)


Hahaha! I love the cat, Grizabella. :P So funny and cute. Seems to have spunk. ;P



Oh wow! I just realized that Jimmy is Oliver Wood's son! Haha! *Smacks forehead!* Now I can definitely see why there's Quidditch tension between Lily and Jim-Jim. (Ignore my nickname for him.)

Do Jimmy and Lily like each other? Hm? *Raises eyebrows*



Awesome that James gave Lily the Marauders' Map and Invincibility cloak! Yes! I do imagine the 'fun' the group can have. :P



I wonder what secret Jimmy is keeping to himself too.


You always have a killer punch line or amusing line (particularly towards the ending of a story/chapter.)

“Guys, who is the next Hufflepuff captain?”


Haha, another enjoyable chapter, my dear Lauren! Great job!




- Asphodel

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Review #8, by Lady AsphodelReckless Abandonment: Confessions

10th April 2015:
(Gryffindor - CTF Round 5: Jailbreak)


Aw Lauren! This is sad and happy and sad! xP


I enjoyed the intimacy Lydia and Sirius shared in the beginning. And the flashback when Lydia, Sirius, and James met, and how Sirius and Lydia got together. It was sweet and funny. :P



And, it's really nice that Sirius feels Lydia is the one he will spend his life with.


Even though it was nerve wrecking for Sirius to tell Lydia about being a wizard, at least (so far from what I gathered from this chapter) that she didn't completely freak out on him. Maybe Lydia will give him a chance? :D



Aw... the ending of the chapter... this isn't where James and Lily die is it? If it is, I'll be very sadden by this after reading so much incredibly and heart-warming happy stories. Oh wait - I forgot about your Cedric story. xP


Anyways, hopefully this is not when Voldemort attacks the Potters.


I enjoyed reading this! I expect nothing less of you Lauren. ;)



- Asphodel

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Review #9, by Lady AsphodelA Glimmer of Light: What's in a Name?

10th April 2015:
(Gryffindor CTF - Accio Attackers: Round 5 ~ Jailbreak!)


A fatherly Neville! That's different! It's my first one reading of him being a father. :D I'm excited!



*Reads*


Aw! This is really nice! I never thought of Neville introducing his daughter to 'his' parents. I was thinking before that he and Hannah were taking the baby to his grandmother. SO, I was little confused at first, but now I get it. :P


It's really cute to see Neville being concerned for little Alice's future - when little has a bits a way to go before actually boarding the Hogwarts train. And Hannah was there to comfort him. :)

And the heart-warming interaction between little Alice and grandmother Alice was really, really nice! ♥ and in a way, Neville and Hannah's daughter being named after his mother is very honoring! It's like baby Alice pulled older Alice out of the depths of confusion and darkness, even for a little bit.

Sadly, Neville's father didn't take much part, but everything else makes up for it.




*loves*




- Asphodel

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Review #10, by Lady AsphodelEnduring: Enduring

10th April 2015:
Lauren, Lauren, Lauren! (Gyrffindor CTF - Accio Attackers -- Round 5: jailbreak)



James and Lily getting into with the Death Eaters - and on a Hogsmeade trip! Wow!


I'm not sure if I read the beginning right, James woke up after the fight was over and then he found himself at St. Mungos (?)

Your description always amazes me. :) James pain, the memory of what DE attack, and afterwards. It melts my J/L shipper heart at James' concern for Lily. It's even more adorable that Lily was worried for him too.


And this line,

"Damn right he thought no one messes with James Potter and Lily Evans."


I had to laugh at that! He got his confidence back knowing that Lily was alright. It's like a tension breaker. :D


Despite James' memory lapse, it's a good thing Lily was there to fill in the blanks. Reading them too in each others arms!!! So cute, so cute, so cute! I love these two so much. It really reflects on how their love for each other shines through now up to the point of their deaths.


Haha! It's also awesome, despite Sirius recklessness, saved James and Lily's butts. :P


Amazing, amazing job with this! ^_^



- Asphodel

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Review #11, by Lady AsphodelRules of the Game: A Home From Home

10th April 2015:
Lauren!!! XD (Gryffindor CTF -- AA ~ Round 5: jailbreak!)



Hahaha! I have to say, the first paragraph - that is a really great point Ivy makes. Haha! I'd even find it... I don't know... I'd be quite hesitant to go through a brick wall - no matter how many times I've done it. It's something about the rules of physics. And... well... look at what happened to Harry and Ron in COS.


In the beginning when I joined the forums, I was hard-on fan of just only Hogwarts characters. It's my fault though I had a complete distaste for Next-Gen because every where else had the next gen/oc characters so snotty and completely disrespectful and a distasteful plot or no plot. To me it irks me and it completely goes against Rowling's hard work at writing a beautiful universe for all us HP fans.



Not that I don't come across a few here on the archives, but there's fics like yours that balance it out or outweighs it. You manage to keep all the things that make Harry Potter - Harry Potter. Over time, I learned to be more open-minded.


I can see an adventure is just around the corner for Ivy and the others.


I'm interested as to what's going on between Ivy and Albus. I can only guess for now. ;)


I see that Ivy, Lily, and Alice have a nice friendship. I really liked the part where Lily said, Ivy went from a scared first year to a matured head girl.


Your description of platform 9 and 3 quarters, and Jame's girl is just amazing and flows quite well.



I might just come back to finish the rest of your story. ;)


And of course! I enjoyed reading this chapter. ^_^



- Asphodel

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Review #12, by Lady AsphodelThe Quidditch Match: The Quidditch Final

10th April 2015:
Hey Lauren! (Gryffindor CTF - Round 5: jail break)


Again, another beautifully, descriptive game-play! I mean, I know you've written this first before the one you actually written for the forums Quidditch game, but you just really have the knack for it. I believe you can talk Lee's place. ;)


Anyways! I can't help but to fall in love with your writing more. This is like a graduation for James. It's his last Quidditch game. He has to make really the best of it because it's just his character! His fellow lions depend on him and his reputation. I imagine he would tell this story to Harry (ah! that he wouldn't get the chance to.) :( Sad! I didn't think of it till now.


I was completely immersed into the game. I loved how you gave James team members such character... or little bit of background in this short fic! It made all the team work and unity and the game all the more awesome!


And I have to agree! I felt what Lily and Hannah felt when he saved her from the bludger! Completely idiotic and brave and of course amazing! :D


I can see the change of your writing style... I mean starting from your newest stories to the old! Gives me a reflection of the old you!


Another enjoyable story Lauren! You're my favorite author! ♥. (Not sure if I already said that.)



Well great job overall with this!


- Asphodel

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Review #13, by Lady AsphodelShades of Green: Hufflepuff and Proud

10th April 2015:
Hey Lauren! (Gryffie CTF ~ AA - Round 5 *jailbreak*)



A very, very interesting take or missing moment during the last task of the tournament.

This event is such a pivotal moment throughout the HP series. It's the beginning of change for Harry and everyone else.


And reading this through Cedric's POV really bring things home. Like him, I feel the confusion and want of trying to get to the cup through every corner and dead ends of the maze.


It's sad that knowing what happens to him, especially with your touch of how he expected glory, his family, and Cho... Cedric had no idea death was waiting before him: directly in front of Cedric - and he walked right into the Grimm's hands.



And it's even more amazing reading Cedric holding onto his house pride before being killed.



Overall, another story of yours added to my fave list! Great, great job! I loved this! I do, I do. :)



- Asphodel

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Review #14, by Lady AsphodelThe Career Aptitude Test: The Career Aptitude Test

10th April 2015:
Hey Deeds! (Gryffie CTF ~ Accio Attackers - Round 5 *Jailbreak*)




Haha! Out of everything Ron could be (at least in the Muggle Career field, a hair dresser is the last thing I'd ever thought! *laughs*


I really love this idea and how you brought it out of him. It was really amusing to read how Ron is puzzled by Hermione's taking the Aptitude, only to follow right after her.


And his logic of his answers of the questions is absolutely funny! This is really cute of Ron. I've been on a Ron-reading streak, and I before, I always loved Ron, but I never took the time... to like really, really appreciate his character.


His is so lovable! Especially in this fic. I find it amazing that everyone came up to Ron for a haircut. I feel so sorry for Neville and Hermione, and the last bit with Seamus' eyebrows. *laughs again*


Wow, this is really cute, and amazing fic! I enjoyed this a lot. *smiles*



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm glad you enjoyed the story and thanks for the review.

I don't know why I see Ron as a hair dresser. I don't know where this idea came from I just figured, "Let's dress your hair," and well, Ron did. Horribly. Terribly. Don't you just love him?

Haha, his logic to the answers is the best. I had WAY too much fun writing that part. I never wanted it to end but I didn't think it would be just as funny if I dragged it on.

Man, I love Ron too.


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Review #15, by Lady AsphodelBedtime Stories: Bedtime Stories

10th April 2015:
Hey Lauren! I am here for the Gryffindor March 2015 - Review Exchange. :)



As of late, I'm really loving these fatherly Ron and baby Rose stories! It gives me a huge and refreshing intake of air!


Anyways, this really warms my heart. The way how you described Ron telling the story to Rose and... I could feel his emotions. I can feel his love towards his daughter. It even touched me when he first mentioned Lord Voldemort, and she got scared, but Ron quickly reassures her - my goodness! Cuteness overload! ♥


It's so adorable too how Rose was immersed in her father telling a story, even I have to admit, I was loving how Ron was acting it out. I was completely captured by his character - which you have down beautifully in this fic.


And the last part with what Hermione said about Rose being bored with her grandparent's fairy tale books. Like haha! A really nice touch!



I really enjoy your writing. And this story is another fave of mines. :)


Again amazing job with this! ♥ ♥ ♥




- Asphodel

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Review #16, by Lady AsphodelDeath Eaters: Death Eaters

19th March 2015:
Very interesting snippets into the each of their minds!

The ones that stick to me out the most is Severus, Narcissa and Malfoy. With Regulus, I loved how you wrote that he's a dirt spot to the woman who he feels is perfect.


With Narcissa, I can relate to her in terms of sisters and with Andromeda protecting her. I'm an older sister myself, but I can't imagine leaving my little sisters like she did. I can understand why she left, but it's still sad to me.


With Severus, he's like really my favorite character anyway - so, I always enjoy reading what drives him to be a spy.

I don't ship Snape and Lily, but I'm glad that she was his driving force that helped the good win the war.


I'm enjoying reading Microfiction! Now I wish I have entered it too.


Great job with this anyway!




(For the HPFF Review Fundraiser)


- Asphodel

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Review #17, by Lady AsphodelCowardice: Cowardice

19th March 2015:
Such powerful words! Such flowing description! Your words are so captivating!

My favorite pieces are how you described the four founder's like... aura's. The purpose of their houses to be for generations to come.


I'm not a fan of founders, but it's quite refreshing to read a good one anyway. I don't have a particular pairing either when it comes to the founders, but the way you wrote this - it's quite intriguing!

I love how you drove the ending that makes what the title of your story to be!

Really marvelous writing indeed!



(For the HPFF Review Fundraiser)




- Asphodel

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Review #18, by Lady AsphodelBlending Back In : Family Made Whole

19th March 2015:
The reunion of the Potters and Sirius was absolutely a marvelous read!

I can actually feel the joy of their interactions. And I definitely loved how you described James' and Lily's love for each other.

It'd be exactly how I imagined when you said, "And Lily had a way of looking at James when he was talking, like he was the only one in the world she could hear," I love that line to bits! :D


It's also cool how you're updating so frequently, or at least more frequent than I!


I wanted to mention in the previous chapter that I loved how you build up the suspense for Harry meeting with Remus and Tonks and his parents. Sorry! My mind works faster than my fingers.


I'll check onto the next chapter. ;)




For the HPFF Review Fundraiser





- Asphodel

Author's Response: Thank you!! As always, I appreciate you reading and reviewing! And yes, I wanted to relay the suspense that I thought that sort of a moment would have. It seemed to me that if I were Harry, that time would start to slow down or speed up, and it would indeed be very suspenseful. So thank you! :)

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Review #19, by Lady AsphodelBlending Back In : Nerves in Waiting

19th March 2015:
I read your responses, and I'm glad you're not disheartened by my words. :)


Also, your story is still enjoyable nonetheless, I enjoyed this chapter too.

It's great how you played on Harry's emotions. He fears of maybe not seeing his parents (if they decide not to come back.) Or how they would judge if they were to meet again.

It's also great and heart-warming how you had Mrs. Weasley comfort him. I always enjoy Mrs. Weasley acting motherly to Harry.

While your chapters are short, it's prettily descriptive. It's not too much or not too little. You get the point across.

It'd be cool if you add on how did the dead exactly feel when they were being brought back. Was it painful? Painless? Did they feel a rush? Did they feel a pull from the beyond?

Just something to think about. n_n


For the HPFF Review Fundraiser



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I am sorry it has taken me a while to reply! I have family from out of town visiting right now. But thank you so much for still reading and reviewing for me! I appreciate your comments and feedback! It always gives me something good to think about! :)

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Review #20, by Lady AsphodelBlending Back In : And So It Begins

18th March 2015:
Again, fast-paced. I expected this to be more deeper. I wanted to see them actually talk to each other. Hold each other - afraid of letting go - especially Mrs. Weasley and/or Mr. Weasley.


I still liked this chapter. Your story really have the potential to widen the aspects of your plot.

How is it exactly that they're being brought back?

I know in your first chapter, you had Hermione said, there's some type of essence of the dead left for the Medical professionals can use, but how exactly... does that process work.


I mean... Do they have a room where their dug-up corpses are on a table? Bed? for the essence of the dead ones to return to? Do their bodies appear out of thin air? Really - exactly how is this down?


As a writer, only you can see how things pan out in your story. When writing, you want to get down as much detail as possible (important details - not a lot) to help your readers see what you see - feel what you feel when you're writing this.

As readers, we can only assume and/or infer. We'll never really know what's going on truly in your mind unless you write it down.

So yeah, keep that mind for your future stories. :)


Again, try not to be disheartened by my words! If you're not - then that's good!

For the HPFF Review Fundraiser.




- Asphodel

Author's Response: Thank you for all of your words. I understand where you are coming from and respect that you are entitled to your own opinion. I felt as if I had dove in to Harry's feelings quiet a bit. And I felt as if the story perhaps had a bit too much dialogue, and was nervous to over do anything. There will be plenty of talking and catching up later in the story. I am sorry that you felt as though it were rushed. That was not exactly my intent.
Thank you for some interesting points to thank about. And thank you for reading and reviewing.


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Review #21, by Lady AsphodelBlending Back In : Unforeseen Reunion

18th March 2015:
Hm... This chapter was good!

However, I wish you delved in more into this.

You went through this awfully quick in my honest opinion. (And please do not take offense.)


Starting with the scene with Harry and Albus Dumbledore.

While Harry is not overly and emotionally open, Rowling digs deep into his feelings when it's needed.

For example, when Harry lost Sirius. Harry went completely ballistic. First trying to curse Bellatrix with the cruciatus curse. Then Harry trashed Dumbledore's office and even yelled at him in the course of two-three chapters of OOTP.

You, on the other hand, have Harry and Dumbledore shed a brief moment of tears and they launch into a conversation as if Dumbledore never died.

Me? I know that if someone I loved was brought back, I probably wouldn't be able to function properly... at least not so soon anyway. Like grief over death, time heals wounds for those who suffer loss. I imagine the same way if one was to be brought back from death - it'll take a person time to get used to them being alive because (depending on length of death) it takes definite time for a person to move on with life without the dead loved one.


Additionally, you skimmed too quickly with Dumbledore returning to life and doing things normally again.

I feel that you should have delved in on how to Dumbledore adapted to being alive again. Not so easy as to getting job offers or returning to his post as Headmaster practically by the next paragraph.

I don't expect a whole dramatic transition, but he should show some type of struggle.

I even assumed that Dumbledore, the one and most of all to be against the return of the dead.

What also bothers me is how you said that the whole wizarding world was accepting that too.

Think back - when in the "Order of the Phoenix," because Harry and Dumbledore said that Voldemort was back - did it mean that 'everyone' believed them? No. In fact, majority of the world and those they associated with doubted Harry and Dumbledore.

So, it's hard to believe that now there's a solution to bringing dead people back - and no one gives hassle about it.

Everyone is way too relaxed with this.


Overall, what I'm trying to say exactly is - there's always people who are "for" something, and there are always people who are "against" something.

Example. There are those who love chocolate, and there are those who do not. Those who believe that guns keep people safe and there are those who do not.

Always consider that when writing situation like these.


Now... I want you to know that when I say all that, I don't mean to be harsh - even if I sound like I do.

It's mostly out constructive criticism.

While Harry Potter is a fantasy series, it still bears realism of the real world. You just have to really read between the lines.


Despite all that I said above, I'm afraid I'm jumping the gun here too quick - and perhaps you do have something "problematic" to the plot. Not sure unless I continue to read.


Bear in mind though, don't be discouraged by any harsh critique or mean reviews. ALWAYS keep writing!

I know I'm not a perfect writer, and I'm still learning myself. I also see that this is your one and only story - so you continue on and keep writing for fun. Just know you can do so much more with a story than you can imagine.

Heck even I was oblivious as to what I'm telling you now.


So yeah, your writing is still good. Not saying that it is not at all. It's great! Great grammar; great sentence structure. So far in character.

I just want to see you open the horizons of this story.


Continue writing my friend!


For the HPFF Review Fund Raiser




- Asphodel

Author's Response: Again, thank you for reading and reviewing. I was originally very nervous to get a more, negative review like this, so thank you for helping me to get over that.
I again, understand where you are coming from and will be taking several of your comments into consideration. This story is simply an idea I had and started writing upon. I simply started writing for enjoyment purposes, and if on the chance that someone else might enjoy it, I posted it on here. You know I think that mystery in a story is a good thing. Even in the original stories, not every question has an answer. It just doesn't. But again, you make some very interesting points, and I am very thankful for your responses and comments. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and I hope that you will continue to read and perhaps enjoy the story more as it progresses.


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Review #22, by Lady AsphodelBlending Back In : The Department of Developmental Medicine

18th March 2015:
Another enjoyable chapter!

I love how you described that despite Harry working at the Ministry for a couple of years, and he's still not familiar with the foundation as he had believed.

It's like my head canon now - I can believe that there will always some type of mysterious room or - there's more than meets the eye with the Ministry of Magic.

You've really captured me at the ending, where he goes to the door that goes to Dumbledore, and how Albus says, 'come in.' I mean - it's like reading of Harry going to the Headmaster's office, and Dumbledore's usual dialogue of permission to let one in. I love that indeed.

I'm curious as to where you are going with this!


- For the HPFF Review Fundraiser



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I really enjoyed that part myself. It is nice to know that it came across how I imagined it. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

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Review #23, by Lady AsphodelBlending Back In : Origin: New Beginings

18th March 2015:
This is off to an interesting start!

Your writing so far is smooth and at a good pace. :)

I saw in your summary that it is a crossover? I'm not sure by you not mentioning what you are crossing HP with - because you're trying to not to reveal much or something else - but - I'd really like to know - maybe other readers too. You can probably bring in readers who are fans of the fandom that you are crossing this story with. ;)


Anyways, again this is interesting! I love post-hogwarts trio fics, and it's been a while since I've read one.

You have me curious as to who it may be that has been brought from the dead. Or perhaps, if it is Dumbledore, I wonder why him of all people was he brought back.


Well, great job with this chapter! ^__^


For the HPFF Review Fund Raiser.

(By the way, you should join the forums. The link is at the top if you haven't. HPFF is doing a review fundraising to keep HPFF running for the next year. You can check out further details of it either on the forums or at the fundraising image at the very top of the page. )


- Asphodel

Author's Response: Thank you for pointing that out! I was unaware of the selection"crossover" being listed for this story, and it should not be. I am not sure if I hit it by mistake or what. But thank you for pointing it out!! It is not a crossover lol.
And thank you for telling me about the forums. I will have to check it out. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!!!


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Review #24, by Lady AsphodelEyes As Brown As An Enstatite Gem: The Poem

9th March 2015:
Oh wow! Hahaha! This is so incredibly cute! ♥

Like seriously, this is much better than I could have pictured it! :D

I love how Harry had a difficult time coming up with the poem! But your poem for Harry to Ginny is absolutely perfect on spot like Rowling's. Just out of curiosity, was it hard for coming up the words for the poem?

When I introduced you to the idea, I really wanted to write it myself, but I couldn't get it down the way I wanted it. I'm glad to have let you take this one on. Again, this is a lot better than I imagined.

It's also cool how you add the tidbits of the love triangle between Ron, Hermione, and Lavender - and somewhat of Dean, Ginny, and Harry.

I swear, this falls under like a head-canon. haha! :P It feels exactly as if I read it from the book.

Your writing is smooth of course, and nicely detailed!

I love the poem to bits - and the ending of how inconspicuous her valentine poem came to her. You did really well with drawing parallels of Harry asking Ginny out with Ginny's catching Harry's attention in her first year.


Great job indeed! I enjoyed this immensely!


Thanks so much for writing this! I really love this! I'll probably come and request from you again soon when I come up with something. :)



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Firstly, I must thank you for the wonderful prompt! ♥

Even though it was somewhat shorter, I still wanted it to be somewhat canonical so I pulled in the bits with the love triangles because why not? Plus it's a Valentine's day prompt so I just had to! Coming up with the words for the poem actually was not too difficult--I basically just matched them with Ginny's poem for Harry, just in reverse! With the delivery of the poem, I felt like Harry isn't one to make grandiose gestures; it's not in his nature to do big things like that so I just made it obnoxious once she opened it for the humor we all know the other boys had a part in executing.

I'm so glad you've enjoyed the prompts I've written for you, and I really enjoy doing all of these prompts! :)
~MadiMalfoy x


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Review #25, by Lady AsphodelMeeting Norberta: Reunion

28th February 2015:
Hey Lauren! I decided to do some reading and reviewing, and I thought of you to do first since I said before I was going to read and review your stories of my own will. *winks*


It's really cool that you approached this idea. I actually forgot about Norberta, and of course now looking at this and remembering afterwards how devastated Hagrid was losing her, it's like this is a filling missing moment. *smiles*


I love your writing of Hagrid! He's so in character! You got his speech down (which I find to be so hard to do when I think of writing him.) The beginning and ending is so adorable and heart-warming! I just love his determination and exuberance of reuniting with Norberta. And! How Norberta responds to Hagrid just really... *sighs* ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I believe Hagrid would did fantastic doing what Charlie does. I can imagine him being excited of the lessons he learns in caring for Dragons, but it definitely fits in canon to me that Hagrid would find certain rules to be unnecessary.


You did wonderfully writing this! It's a perfect entry for the HC! *grins*


Keep up the good work my friend!


- Asphodel

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