Reading Reviews From Member: Lady Asphodel
  
208 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lady AsphodelHarry Potter and the Wizard's Portrait: The Recapture of the Carrows

16th May 2015:
Hi!

First, I am thankful that you started off your post-war/ post-hogwarts fic differently. It's great how you started it off with action and mayhem. I feel immersed into your story as if continuing off Deathly Hallows. Your writing is really good! The description is just enough and the characterization is great!


I wonder if the house elf the Carrows were talking about is going to be important for the rest of the story. I guess the only way (besides you telling me through a response) is to continue on reading.


The ending of this chapter though! Did not expect that! You really started this off great!



Well... I am off to read the next part! :)



- Asphodel

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Review #2, by Lady AsphodelKeeping Vigil: Keeping Vigil

3rd May 2015:
Hey Kayla! For the Review the Above Gryffie thread. :)



I know you've been back on the forums for a while, but I want to greet the 'you' who just returned when you wrote this! Haha! So welcome back! :P


This was a pretty incredible idea you have here! You made their heaven and hell from within the home they died in. A very interesting concept. I never thought of that. Nor have I read anything like this.


I mean... I think I recall reading fics where they (or particularly Lily) watching over Harry, and the stories usually end on a good note. It's great how you took a different turn on this. It leaves James and Lily wondering will their sacrifice for Harry be in vain. Not that they wouldn't give up their lives for Harry even if it was, but... just the need for them to know will Harry be alright without James and Lily in his life.


I also find it interesting with how James saw the events unfolding through a pond! A brilliant addition I say. Kudos!



At least in canon, hopefully they'll see that Harry becomes the man that they wanted him to be, and he have people who support and loves him.



I enjoyed reading this! This was awesome - even though it was sad!




- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hey there! I'm glad you liked this and thought it was interesting. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

-Kayla


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Review #3, by Lady AsphodelHarry Potter and the First Mission: Life Still Goes On

3rd May 2015:
Hey Kenny!

I'm here for the (May 2015) Gryffindor Red Vs Gold Review Battle.



So... I feel that this chapter was rushed. I felt that Harr should have take the time to reflect more on the battle. His loss or the loss of others. You did... but only slightly. And I think this needs beta-ing. As I read your other story that was beta-ed was more of an enjoyable read. The pacing, the sentence structuring and grammar was better.


Other than that, I find it quite interesting the idea of the heart shaped scars on the trio's neck. I'm curious as to what the meaning behind it.


I look forward to seeing how they trio will engage into their future that they have to build. Harry's going to be an Auror, but what about Ron? And Hermione? I'll have to see when I read on now will I? ;)




Anyways! This was a nice read! And please keep on writing! It's great seeing you on the forums working hard to improve it!




- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi, Alishya! Thank you for stopping by.
This story is very classic, but you finished reading this, I really appreciate that you left review.

The reason why I made a short cut is I set the loss of othes in the next chapter and his loss will shadow his life for long time in my story. If you have time to spare, please read the next chapter.

Kenny :)


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Review #4, by Lady AsphodelAll Of Me: All of Me

3rd May 2015:
Hey Jayde! Here for the April 2015 review exchange! :)




I enjoyed reading this very much, especially for this to be a song fic. Before, I read some song fics, but the song never really suits the story.


This one however, truly does!


I'm not married, but I can understand or just imagine how rocky a marriage can be - especially when a couple had just gotten married, or weren't married for a long time.


I was incredibly happy though that Emma and Gabriel worked through their problems in the beginning. I was nervous for them at first, hehe.


The way you wrote their love for each other was really deep and sweet! The details of what Gabriel and Emma saw in each other and why they love each other - it's just beautiful! ♥



And they had a baby together!!! Aw!! :D

You did a great job overall, especially timing the of the song lyrics with certain moments in their time together. I hope they continue to live happy for the rest of their lives!



Oh and using Spanish was also a great touch! I know a little Spanish, so I knew somewhat of what they said to each other. The translations do help though! So thanks for that!



Amazing job indeed anyways for writing this! ^_^

I wish you luck with Lo and Meena's banner challenge! And I definitely love the banner for your song fic! It's awesome that you went on anyway to write this story! ;D





- Asphodel

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Review #5, by Lady AsphodelOil and Water: oil and water don't mix

3rd May 2015:
Hey Adi! :D Here for the Gryffie's April 2015 Review exchange. ^__^


First, let me say - the way you started it off was definitely enchanting. Especially for this to be a first person pov! It's been an incredibly long time since I've enjoyed reading this type of viewing. I - I was immediately drawn into the scenery of your description. And it definitely goes for the rest of your story.



I can feel how Rose tries to resist Scorpius, but she can't. Her insecurity is definitely tangible here. She knows deep down their relationship is not truly based on love. It's an unhealthy attraction. You did an absolute marvelous job with describing it through metaphors and comparing opposite of attraction. You brought a new level to it honestly! I even love the twist you threw in there. In the end - how it ended between her and him!



For you to have written this in 20 mins... gosh, it's pretty darn amazing! This story definitely deserved the GPA! I wish you luck on Carla's challenge too! It should definitely win a place or an honoury mention! ♥






- Asphodel

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Review #6, by Lady AsphodelPainful Bliss: Prologue: Beginnings

12th April 2015:
Hey Deeds! This was for the ctf game, but it's not needed anymore. I decided to leave this review for you anyway. :)



What's really attracting about the beginning of this chapter is how Draco sees Astoria. I never read a fic where a guy admires a girl for her flaws and not for her beauty. Or in a way, you're saying her flaws is what makes Astoria beautiful to Draco, which I find quite intriguing. And your description of her is different of how authors normally describe women through a man's view.

It makes me wonder how Astoria saw Draco when they first met.



And I have a great appreciate for how simple Draco made his letter. Like you said, that one line was enough for him to put all his feelings into.


A really nice chapter! I enjoyed this a lot, and I don't normally care for Draco-centric stories. This is really good though!



- Asphodel

Author's Response: I think people sometimes forget it's not all about your appearance. Maybe you aren't beautiful and there are some things 'wrong' with you (if they say so) but someone can and will love you anyway. So her hair isn't her natural color and it's obvious, she giggles too much and it bothers him, etc. Draco doesn't care because he feels a connection towards her. She makes him happy. It's that simple and that's all you really need in a significant other.

Thanks so much for the wonderful review!


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Review #7, by Lady AsphodelIn Sickness And In Health: Perseverance

12th April 2015:
(Gryffindor Accio Attackers CTF Round 5: jailbreak)


Hey Grace!


Forgive me! I'm jumping into your story without reading chapters 1 & 2.



Your description of Hermione's surroundings in the beginning is amazing! It has a warm soft feeling to it. :)


I see Draco and Hermione are getting along. I really like the interaction between them two, even if it's a little awkward. And I really love the scene with Draco getting confused with the tv deal. Haha. I never would have imagined him acting like that, but it doesn't seem overly crazy.

I'm not a dramione shipper, but I have to admit, the way you are writing sways me a little.

There's nothing too off about their characters, which is what I see is most dramione fics. So really good job!



Oh! I also love how Harry and Ron (particularly Harry) for being supportive of what Hermione is going through - since she is stuck with Draco.

I can see if Draco makes one wrong move, they'll be there to step in.


I really enjoyed this! And the plot is different, and you're giving me a reason to give Dramione a shot.



- Asphodel

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Review #8, by Lady AsphodelOh My Darling: 1

11th April 2015:
Hey Cassie! I'm here for the Review exchange! (And thanks for the review on my story too!)


I like the brief introduction of Clementine and Elizabeth. Although, I think it'd been better to actually learn how the characters are through their actions... and not through telling it right off.

It's okay to do "telling" through story, but describing it... or letting the readers literally see through the eyes of their character will help us as readers to grow an attachment to them.


Like for example, how Hermione - we all know she's smart and the brightest witch of her age, but Rowling doesn't outright say it - you know?

We learn through how in the Philosopher of Stone, she already knew spells when she first met Harry and Ron. She always the first to raise her hand in classes or always have the answer ready. Hermione recites what learns from reading. Rowling doesn't say in the books right away when Hermione's introduced like,

"A girl name Hermione Granger enter the car. She's smart, a bit-stuck up, and takes her academics seriously."


Do you understand where I am going with this?

I don't mean to be harsh or anything. And I don't mean that how you started it off was bad.

As I said, to really give us readers a reason to care about your OC's is to help readers step into their shoes and walk in them, not walk along side with the characters.



Also, I am just learning this myself. And I understand how relying on description can be a tad-bit difficult. :)



So... moving on.


I can relate to Clementine in being reclusive. I'm not a sociable person at certain times.


And I have friends like Elizabeth who would like to see me come out of my shell like she does with Clementine.


I love how you added of when and how Elizabeth and Clementine became friends. It's amusing to imagine how bold Elizabeth to Clementine declare friends.



I love their interaction - it's quite witty, and how they balance each other out too. Clementine keeps her grounded, and Elizabeth helps her to loosen up.




I see Clementine is taking a slight interest in Albus. Perhaps soon, he'll too in her. :)


A really nice written chapter overall! Great job! ^_^



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you for the feedback on the beginning of the chapter! The narration style for this story is really different from anything I've written before, so I'm kind of figuring it out as I go along, and your feedback is really helpful. I'll look at the beginning again and see if I can add some more showing to balance out the telling :)
I'm glad you liked Clementine and Elizabeth! They're quite the pair, but they do really love and support each other. They're able to balance each other out, but each one still lets the other be herself.
Albus is the focus for a good bit of the next chapter, so we can see how things are for him as well as Clem.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for the swap!
Cassie :)


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Review #9, by Lady AsphodelRules of the Game: Let the Games Begin

10th April 2015:
(Gryffindor CTF AA, Round 5 ~ Jailbreak)


In this chapter everyone is settling in - in Hogwarts. I don't know why Lily is being such a downer about the Hat's song, but I loved it! And you did a great job with it! ^_^


Again - dang it! I still need to know what Albus needed to tell Ivy! :(


I liked how the girls tried to guess a few of the first year students houses. :P


Poppy, Poppy, Poppy, Poppy, is really getting on my nerves. Haha - hopefully as the story progresses... (Doubts)


And the feast! I always enjoy reading about the feast! You did really good with describing the food. I haven't eat all day, so you're making me incredibly hungry. :P


I really loved how you described the dorms for Heads. It's short yet really nice! :D


Everything about your story is just great! Really good characterizations of your OC's and Lily. You description with scenes! It's a gift! &heart; Hope that I can learn that from you!




- Asphodel

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Review #10, by Lady AsphodelReckless Abandonment: Before I Fall To Pieces

10th April 2015:
(Gryffindor CTF AA, Round 5: jailbreak)


So now I'm on to the next chapter!



Lydia seems to be unsure of Sirius' true self, but I'm glad that she's not letting that stop her from wanting to continue to be with him.


And Sirius finally understands that there's more to love than meets the eye. ;) (So no more making fun of James. :P)


This line,

‘Although, I'm looking for a boyfriend, not a pet. That part still creeps me out a bit.'


Haha! Very funny! And Sirius' response.


So sweet! I'm so happy for them. XD


I have forgot to mention how amusing it is to see Sirius just as clueless of Muggle technicalities (With the telephone and 'Romeo and Juliet,' - like the Weasleys.)

Whoah! Okay! I didn't expect Lydia to get kidnapped and by Bellatrix no less. However, I see that this is when Lily, James, and Harry goes into hiding, so Bellatrix would go after Sirius to get to his friends.


Oh my gosh! I hope Lydia ends up alright! I love the action scene! I thought for a minute Sirius was going to bite Bellatrix, but then maybe it'd been a little overboard. I don't know.


I'm really enjoying this story so far Lauren! I'll be back to read the last chapter - whether through the CTF game or on my own time. ;D



- Asphodel

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Review #11, by Lady AsphodelRules of the Game: Just Friends

10th April 2015:
(Gryffindor CTF: Round 5 -- AA ~ Jailbreak!)


Alright Lauren! I had to skip chapter 3 & 4 for now. So forgive me! :D



This chapter really gives a good insight of the great friendship between Ivy, Lily, Alice, Jimmy, and Hugo. :D

I really like the tidbits of things about the characters as well. Lily's cheekiness, Alice bashfulness. Jimmy's aura of always being ready for the day. He's so cheery. ^_^ Oh and it's so cool how you have a Journalist club at Hogwarts! Poppy is so ugh! So Malfoyish - or the like.


Mm... since I didn't read the last two previous chapters, I don't know what exactly happened to Alice, but judging by Neville's concern, it must have been big. I did note of the mentioning of the Threstrals. And Alice's exasperation at knowing her mother knows, haha - I see she has a lot of placating to do. :P



I have to say, I love the names of the professors that you have for this generation. (Unless a few of them are real - and I'm unaware of that fact. :P) Either way - I still love them! ;D


Ooohhh Hugo and Alice!!! I hope Lily and Ivy do get those two together! Nothing more sweet and infuriating see two people like each other but they deny the other like them and/or doesn't do anything about it.



- Asphodel

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Review #12, by Lady AsphodelRules of the Game: Boys Gossip Too

10th April 2015:
(Gryffindor CTF: Round 5 -- Jailbreak!)


Hahaha! I love the cat, Grizabella. :P So funny and cute. Seems to have spunk. ;P



Oh wow! I just realized that Jimmy is Oliver Wood's son! Haha! *Smacks forehead!* Now I can definitely see why there's Quidditch tension between Lily and Jim-Jim. (Ignore my nickname for him.)

Do Jimmy and Lily like each other? Hm? *Raises eyebrows*



Awesome that James gave Lily the Marauders' Map and Invincibility cloak! Yes! I do imagine the 'fun' the group can have. :P



I wonder what secret Jimmy is keeping to himself too.


You always have a killer punch line or amusing line (particularly towards the ending of a story/chapter.)

“Guys, who is the next Hufflepuff captain?”


Haha, another enjoyable chapter, my dear Lauren! Great job!




- Asphodel

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Review #13, by Lady AsphodelReckless Abandonment: Confessions

10th April 2015:
(Gryffindor - CTF Round 5: Jailbreak)


Aw Lauren! This is sad and happy and sad! xP


I enjoyed the intimacy Lydia and Sirius shared in the beginning. And the flashback when Lydia, Sirius, and James met, and how Sirius and Lydia got together. It was sweet and funny. :P



And, it's really nice that Sirius feels Lydia is the one he will spend his life with.


Even though it was nerve wrecking for Sirius to tell Lydia about being a wizard, at least (so far from what I gathered from this chapter) that she didn't completely freak out on him. Maybe Lydia will give him a chance? :D



Aw... the ending of the chapter... this isn't where James and Lily die is it? If it is, I'll be very sadden by this after reading so much incredibly and heart-warming happy stories. Oh wait - I forgot about your Cedric story. xP


Anyways, hopefully this is not when Voldemort attacks the Potters.


I enjoyed reading this! I expect nothing less of you Lauren. ;)



- Asphodel

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Review #14, by Lady AsphodelA Glimmer of Light: What's in a Name?

10th April 2015:
(Gryffindor CTF - Accio Attackers: Round 5 ~ Jailbreak!)


A fatherly Neville! That's different! It's my first one reading of him being a father. :D I'm excited!



*Reads*


Aw! This is really nice! I never thought of Neville introducing his daughter to 'his' parents. I was thinking before that he and Hannah were taking the baby to his grandmother. SO, I was little confused at first, but now I get it. :P


It's really cute to see Neville being concerned for little Alice's future - when little has a bits a way to go before actually boarding the Hogwarts train. And Hannah was there to comfort him. :)

And the heart-warming interaction between little Alice and grandmother Alice was really, really nice! ♥ and in a way, Neville and Hannah's daughter being named after his mother is very honoring! It's like baby Alice pulled older Alice out of the depths of confusion and darkness, even for a little bit.

Sadly, Neville's father didn't take much part, but everything else makes up for it.




*loves*




- Asphodel

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Review #15, by Lady AsphodelEnduring: Enduring

10th April 2015:
Lauren, Lauren, Lauren! (Gyrffindor CTF - Accio Attackers -- Round 5: jailbreak)



James and Lily getting into with the Death Eaters - and on a Hogsmeade trip! Wow!


I'm not sure if I read the beginning right, James woke up after the fight was over and then he found himself at St. Mungos (?)

Your description always amazes me. :) James pain, the memory of what DE attack, and afterwards. It melts my J/L shipper heart at James' concern for Lily. It's even more adorable that Lily was worried for him too.


And this line,

"Damn right he thought no one messes with James Potter and Lily Evans."


I had to laugh at that! He got his confidence back knowing that Lily was alright. It's like a tension breaker. :D


Despite James' memory lapse, it's a good thing Lily was there to fill in the blanks. Reading them too in each others arms!!! So cute, so cute, so cute! I love these two so much. It really reflects on how their love for each other shines through now up to the point of their deaths.


Haha! It's also awesome, despite Sirius recklessness, saved James and Lily's butts. :P


Amazing, amazing job with this! ^_^



- Asphodel

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Review #16, by Lady AsphodelRules of the Game: A Home From Home

10th April 2015:
Lauren!!! XD (Gryffindor CTF -- AA ~ Round 5: jailbreak!)



Hahaha! I have to say, the first paragraph - that is a really great point Ivy makes. Haha! I'd even find it... I don't know... I'd be quite hesitant to go through a brick wall - no matter how many times I've done it. It's something about the rules of physics. And... well... look at what happened to Harry and Ron in COS.


In the beginning when I joined the forums, I was hard-on fan of just only Hogwarts characters. It's my fault though I had a complete distaste for Next-Gen because every where else had the next gen/oc characters so snotty and completely disrespectful and a distasteful plot or no plot. To me it irks me and it completely goes against Rowling's hard work at writing a beautiful universe for all us HP fans.



Not that I don't come across a few here on the archives, but there's fics like yours that balance it out or outweighs it. You manage to keep all the things that make Harry Potter - Harry Potter. Over time, I learned to be more open-minded.


I can see an adventure is just around the corner for Ivy and the others.


I'm interested as to what's going on between Ivy and Albus. I can only guess for now. ;)


I see that Ivy, Lily, and Alice have a nice friendship. I really liked the part where Lily said, Ivy went from a scared first year to a matured head girl.


Your description of platform 9 and 3 quarters, and Jame's girl is just amazing and flows quite well.



I might just come back to finish the rest of your story. ;)


And of course! I enjoyed reading this chapter. ^_^



- Asphodel

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Review #17, by Lady AsphodelThe Quidditch Match: The Quidditch Final

10th April 2015:
Hey Lauren! (Gryffindor CTF - Round 5: jail break)


Again, another beautifully, descriptive game-play! I mean, I know you've written this first before the one you actually written for the forums Quidditch game, but you just really have the knack for it. I believe you can talk Lee's place. ;)


Anyways! I can't help but to fall in love with your writing more. This is like a graduation for James. It's his last Quidditch game. He has to make really the best of it because it's just his character! His fellow lions depend on him and his reputation. I imagine he would tell this story to Harry (ah! that he wouldn't get the chance to.) :( Sad! I didn't think of it till now.


I was completely immersed into the game. I loved how you gave James team members such character... or little bit of background in this short fic! It made all the team work and unity and the game all the more awesome!


And I have to agree! I felt what Lily and Hannah felt when he saved her from the bludger! Completely idiotic and brave and of course amazing! :D


I can see the change of your writing style... I mean starting from your newest stories to the old! Gives me a reflection of the old you!


Another enjoyable story Lauren! You're my favorite author! ♥. (Not sure if I already said that.)



Well great job overall with this!


- Asphodel

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Review #18, by Lady AsphodelShades of Green: Hufflepuff and Proud

10th April 2015:
Hey Lauren! (Gryffie CTF ~ AA - Round 5 *jailbreak*)



A very, very interesting take or missing moment during the last task of the tournament.

This event is such a pivotal moment throughout the HP series. It's the beginning of change for Harry and everyone else.


And reading this through Cedric's POV really bring things home. Like him, I feel the confusion and want of trying to get to the cup through every corner and dead ends of the maze.


It's sad that knowing what happens to him, especially with your touch of how he expected glory, his family, and Cho... Cedric had no idea death was waiting before him: directly in front of Cedric - and he walked right into the Grimm's hands.



And it's even more amazing reading Cedric holding onto his house pride before being killed.



Overall, another story of yours added to my fave list! Great, great job! I loved this! I do, I do. :)



- Asphodel

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Review #19, by Lady AsphodelThe Career Aptitude Test: The Career Aptitude Test

10th April 2015:
Hey Deeds! (Gryffie CTF ~ Accio Attackers - Round 5 *Jailbreak*)




Haha! Out of everything Ron could be (at least in the Muggle Career field, a hair dresser is the last thing I'd ever thought! *laughs*


I really love this idea and how you brought it out of him. It was really amusing to read how Ron is puzzled by Hermione's taking the Aptitude, only to follow right after her.


And his logic of his answers of the questions is absolutely funny! This is really cute of Ron. I've been on a Ron-reading streak, and I before, I always loved Ron, but I never took the time... to like really, really appreciate his character.


His is so lovable! Especially in this fic. I find it amazing that everyone came up to Ron for a haircut. I feel so sorry for Neville and Hermione, and the last bit with Seamus' eyebrows. *laughs again*


Wow, this is really cute, and amazing fic! I enjoyed this a lot. *smiles*



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm glad you enjoyed the story and thanks for the review.

I don't know why I see Ron as a hair dresser. I don't know where this idea came from I just figured, "Let's dress your hair," and well, Ron did. Horribly. Terribly. Don't you just love him?

Haha, his logic to the answers is the best. I had WAY too much fun writing that part. I never wanted it to end but I didn't think it would be just as funny if I dragged it on.

Man, I love Ron too.


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Review #20, by Lady AsphodelBedtime Stories: Bedtime Stories

10th April 2015:
Hey Lauren! I am here for the Gryffindor March 2015 - Review Exchange. :)



As of late, I'm really loving these fatherly Ron and baby Rose stories! It gives me a huge and refreshing intake of air!


Anyways, this really warms my heart. The way how you described Ron telling the story to Rose and... I could feel his emotions. I can feel his love towards his daughter. It even touched me when he first mentioned Lord Voldemort, and she got scared, but Ron quickly reassures her - my goodness! Cuteness overload! ♥


It's so adorable too how Rose was immersed in her father telling a story, even I have to admit, I was loving how Ron was acting it out. I was completely captured by his character - which you have down beautifully in this fic.


And the last part with what Hermione said about Rose being bored with her grandparent's fairy tale books. Like haha! A really nice touch!



I really enjoy your writing. And this story is another fave of mines. :)


Again amazing job with this! ♥ ♥ ♥




- Asphodel

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Review #21, by Lady AsphodelDeath Eaters: Death Eaters

19th March 2015:
Very interesting snippets into the each of their minds!

The ones that stick to me out the most is Severus, Narcissa and Malfoy. With Regulus, I loved how you wrote that he's a dirt spot to the woman who he feels is perfect.


With Narcissa, I can relate to her in terms of sisters and with Andromeda protecting her. I'm an older sister myself, but I can't imagine leaving my little sisters like she did. I can understand why she left, but it's still sad to me.


With Severus, he's like really my favorite character anyway - so, I always enjoy reading what drives him to be a spy.

I don't ship Snape and Lily, but I'm glad that she was his driving force that helped the good win the war.


I'm enjoying reading Microfiction! Now I wish I have entered it too.


Great job with this anyway!




(For the HPFF Review Fundraiser)


- Asphodel

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Review #22, by Lady AsphodelCowardice: Cowardice

19th March 2015:
Such powerful words! Such flowing description! Your words are so captivating!

My favorite pieces are how you described the four founder's like... aura's. The purpose of their houses to be for generations to come.


I'm not a fan of founders, but it's quite refreshing to read a good one anyway. I don't have a particular pairing either when it comes to the founders, but the way you wrote this - it's quite intriguing!

I love how you drove the ending that makes what the title of your story to be!

Really marvelous writing indeed!



(For the HPFF Review Fundraiser)




- Asphodel

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Review #23, by Lady AsphodelBlending Back In : Family Made Whole

19th March 2015:
The reunion of the Potters and Sirius was absolutely a marvelous read!

I can actually feel the joy of their interactions. And I definitely loved how you described James' and Lily's love for each other.

It'd be exactly how I imagined when you said, "And Lily had a way of looking at James when he was talking, like he was the only one in the world she could hear," I love that line to bits! :D


It's also cool how you're updating so frequently, or at least more frequent than I!


I wanted to mention in the previous chapter that I loved how you build up the suspense for Harry meeting with Remus and Tonks and his parents. Sorry! My mind works faster than my fingers.


I'll check onto the next chapter. ;)




For the HPFF Review Fundraiser





- Asphodel

Author's Response: Thank you!! As always, I appreciate you reading and reviewing! And yes, I wanted to relay the suspense that I thought that sort of a moment would have. It seemed to me that if I were Harry, that time would start to slow down or speed up, and it would indeed be very suspenseful. So thank you! :)

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Review #24, by Lady AsphodelBlending Back In : Nerves in Waiting

19th March 2015:
I read your responses, and I'm glad you're not disheartened by my words. :)


Also, your story is still enjoyable nonetheless, I enjoyed this chapter too.

It's great how you played on Harry's emotions. He fears of maybe not seeing his parents (if they decide not to come back.) Or how they would judge if they were to meet again.

It's also great and heart-warming how you had Mrs. Weasley comfort him. I always enjoy Mrs. Weasley acting motherly to Harry.

While your chapters are short, it's prettily descriptive. It's not too much or not too little. You get the point across.

It'd be cool if you add on how did the dead exactly feel when they were being brought back. Was it painful? Painless? Did they feel a rush? Did they feel a pull from the beyond?

Just something to think about. n_n


For the HPFF Review Fundraiser



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I am sorry it has taken me a while to reply! I have family from out of town visiting right now. But thank you so much for still reading and reviewing for me! I appreciate your comments and feedback! It always gives me something good to think about! :)

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Review #25, by Lady AsphodelBlending Back In : And So It Begins

18th March 2015:
Again, fast-paced. I expected this to be more deeper. I wanted to see them actually talk to each other. Hold each other - afraid of letting go - especially Mrs. Weasley and/or Mr. Weasley.


I still liked this chapter. Your story really have the potential to widen the aspects of your plot.

How is it exactly that they're being brought back?

I know in your first chapter, you had Hermione said, there's some type of essence of the dead left for the Medical professionals can use, but how exactly... does that process work.


I mean... Do they have a room where their dug-up corpses are on a table? Bed? for the essence of the dead ones to return to? Do their bodies appear out of thin air? Really - exactly how is this down?


As a writer, only you can see how things pan out in your story. When writing, you want to get down as much detail as possible (important details - not a lot) to help your readers see what you see - feel what you feel when you're writing this.

As readers, we can only assume and/or infer. We'll never really know what's going on truly in your mind unless you write it down.

So yeah, keep that mind for your future stories. :)


Again, try not to be disheartened by my words! If you're not - then that's good!

For the HPFF Review Fundraiser.




- Asphodel

Author's Response: Thank you for all of your words. I understand where you are coming from and respect that you are entitled to your own opinion. I felt as if I had dove in to Harry's feelings quiet a bit. And I felt as if the story perhaps had a bit too much dialogue, and was nervous to over do anything. There will be plenty of talking and catching up later in the story. I am sorry that you felt as though it were rushed. That was not exactly my intent.
Thank you for some interesting points to thank about. And thank you for reading and reviewing.


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