Reading Reviews From Member: Lady Asphodel
  
176 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lady AsphodelMonster: Monster

24th January 2015:
Another second pov story! I love reading these because it brings a different intake for readers such as myself - so great job with this!

I liked the transition in Rose from being innocent to - ya know evil. You peeled away at her in a great pace. I have to say, I really did not expect that ending. Such an interesting turn you made there!


This was amazingly chilling and a bit thrilling. You're writing in terms of grammar and spelling is right on and your description was just enough to set the tone of your story.



Overall, this is awesome and I loved reading this!


From the review tag,



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you liked the second person POV, Rose's character progress and the ending. It's a relief to know that the grammar etc was okay too. Thank you!

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Review #2, by Lady AsphodelObsession: Obsession

19th January 2015:
A m a z i n g! Wow! Such a build up! I absolutely love the dark aura of this fic! This is so refreshing... I haven't read anything so dang... suspenseful and tense... in like either ever or in a long time!


I've read a few takes on Pansy, but yours just takes the cake. You did a really awesome job at writing her unhealthy, and destructive feelings. Your description was so unbelievably believable!


And I feel so sorry for Pansy. Your writing of her takes me back... like it opens up wounds for me (though on different circumstances.) I mean though, her anger totally resembles me... Just... Just...


Anyways, it's unfortunate that she had her heart broken. The way you ended... a true master piece I tell you.


I believe... this is my first time reading something from you.


If not... then... I don't know... Nonetheless, I have to say, this is my absolute favorite piece of writing from you! I'll try to take a look at your other stories, but this is one your recent stories? Right? And the banner goes perfectly with it! ♥

I enjoyed reading this immensely. When I saw the story page or like... when I read the summary and looked at the banner (I remember you claiming from the UFG at TDA), I knew I was in for something quite intriguing!

You fit my expectations too - heck, maybe even more than that!


You did incredible with this! Keep it up!

(From the January Gryffindor Review Exchange.)




- Asphodel

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Review #3, by Lady AsphodelClementine: Clementine

11th January 2015:
Omg! This is unbelievably cute! :D

This is amazing! Your way with words - it's so smooth, haha!

The colors you describing the dress, I love it! The second line in the first paragraph really sticks out to me.


It's amazing how you made Fleur uncertain of her self, yet you keep her confident through her uncertainty until she got Bill's attention.

And the way you ended - again - it was really great! Even though Bill butchered the French language, hehe!



This is literally amazing for the 500 word challenge. I love reading these! And you did amazingly writing it in Second pov. I have to still attempt it.


That is all! Keep being awesome!




- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for stopping by - and for the review swap! :)

I'm so glad you liked it - fluff and generally cheerful/romantic kind of things aren't really my sort of thing, haha - so I was so uncomfortable writing it, but the idea wouldn't let me go!

Aww, thank you! I'm so happy you liked the description - it was so hard to fit into three words what I'd normally say with fifteen, haha.

I loved writing Fleur, actually. This was the second time I did it; she's just such an interesting character with how seemingly perfect she is, and her strength of character, which I always admired. And yeah, she's a girl who gets what she wants even if she's nervous ;)

Haha, yeah Bill kinda murdered it a bit :P I'm glad you liked it, though!

Omigosh, this was the hardest thing I ever had to try and do, though. I'm normally so long-winded, it was a real challenge for me, so I'm so happy you liked it! :)

Second person pov isn't so bad - I'm sure you'd do brilliantly at it ;)

Thank you so much for the review - it was so lovely! :)

Aph xx


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Review #4, by Lady AsphodelMisconceptions: Deductive

9th January 2015:
Interesting! :D


As we both know, Harry has a hero-complex to not do anything to save Ginny. ^_^


It's great how Harry had Myrtle reach Severus for help, even though he continued on into the chambers anyway. :D


I can't wait to see how you will write the sequence with Harry battling the Snake with fawkes!



Again, very happy of your return! Update soon please! ;D




- Asphodel

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Review #5, by Lady AsphodelMisconceptions: Presumptive

9th January 2015:
You don't know how happy I am to see you're back and updating again! :D I missed you!

And now that you returned with two chapters (I read both of them over at ff net) I enjoyed them both immensely! I just love how Harry is starting to rely on Severus and that Severus and letting his guard down bit-by-bit. (I could never get enough of that! :P)

I see you're about to draw to close this story... I feel it the way how you're speeding through canon in the second book. I mean it's not a bad thing. I gotta say, you stayed pretty-well paced through this story!


Now... I maybe wrong... but are you going to continue on after the school year for them is over?

If you don't, I still love this story very much! And I hope to see updates from "Out of the Ruins."


Thanks so much for writing this! I'm glad to see your stories appear first in my faves! ^_^





- Asphodel

Author's Response: Heh! Sorry about the long break. I got myself a job that took WAY too much of my time. But I am starting a new one Monday that will fix all that! So keep expecting more from this and "Out of the Ruins".

I am definitely not stopping this at the end of COS. I already have lots of ideas for some POA!


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Review #6, by Lady AsphodelMagnetism: Magnetism

8th January 2015:
I am so amazed - so... speechless! This literally blown me away! Your words of their connection between Harry and Ginny are so - so unique!

Even I can feel this connection! I love how described of time and how things were changing. :) Harry remains strong for both of them, and she relies on his strength, his confidence, his promise.


I loved this very much! I haven't read a good Harry/Ginny fic in a while now! This was fresh for me!


Keep up the great work my dear! ^_^




- Asphodel

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! That's so kind of you!

I've never written Harry/Ginny before so it was a challenge, but as I was writing them it made me realise how close and special they actually are together. Thank you so much!

I'm grinning so much, thanks for taking the time out to review :)

Laura xxx


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Review #7, by Lady AsphodelThe Night of His Life: The Yule Ball

8th January 2015:
Hi! First, I'd really like to say, thanks so much for taking the time to write this! :D


It's cool that this is your first Harry/Hermione fic too! I'm glad to have provided a chance for you! ^_^


Anyways, on to the story!

Your characterization I must say is spot on! Ron is definitely his nonchalant self. Harry's feelings arise when he sees Hermione with Krum. It's natural that she would go to Harry for comfort as he is always there for her! :)

I take it that Ron had argued with her like in the books, but instead Harry is not present when it happened.


I really like the dance scene! I enjoyed the part of Harry's thoughts on Hermione! It gives me shipper feels! ♥

And of course a kiss on the cheek was a perfect touch to an ending! ^_^


I never really expect a big romance between Harry and Hermione. I just always enjoy their companionship - which you got down marvelously! :)


I'm sorry, I'd have reviews minutes ago, but I had some technical problem with signing in to review.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed this quite a lot! Thanks again for writing this!



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi! I really enjoyed writing this prompt because Harry/Hermione was something I'd always wanted to try but I just didn't know how to go about it, so I really must thank YOU for giving me a great prompt! :)

Not gonna lie, I actually reread the yule ball chapter in Goblet of Fire to make sure I had plot points correct and characterization correct as well! I could never write Ron as a total villian--only just bad enough to antagonize Hermione occasionally so I tried to keep him like he is portrayed in the book/movie throughout the whole ball. I decided to keep the argument out because that would just be reiterating something we've all seen countless times, plus wouldn't make sense to have in anyway considering the story follows Harry.

Knowing how to properly dance is sort of a dream of mine; I know I could probably learn but my bf definitely does not want to, so it just remains a dream, and I write it into my stories as often as I can! Obviously it is in here as a plot point so it's necessary but I'm glad you enjoyed it! I feel like if I had made them do anything more than a simple kiss on the cheek it would have been slightly too unrealistic because they both are fourteen and not quite able to understand romantic feelings yet and how to handle them, so I'm very happy that you're happy with the kiss on the cheek! :)

Thank you so much for the review and for the prompt, you're welcome to ask for more from me! ♥
~MadiMalfoy x



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Review #8, by Lady AsphodelJigsaw: Piece #2

4th January 2015:
Yes, yes! The mystery unravels. Did I tell you how much I enjoy your description? No? Yes? Well I'll say it again anyway! I love your way of describing!

First, I liked how you described the night sky! I mean, your description of the scene in general is marvelous, but I love the night sky imagery the most. I could really see it in my mind.

I really enjoyed the scene with Roxanne among other journalist and asking questions, even though she asks one. I feel her pain in being embarrassed and her disappointment.


I see we're digging into Roxanne's and Daniel's situation.


Moving onto the next chapter!


- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi again, Alishya! I'm excited that you came back to read more!

I'm so happy you liked the description in this chapter! It was so fun to write that opening section and try to put down the images in my mind down on paper (or on the screen, in this case).

I'm glad you liked the questioning scene, and seeing Roxy in her place with the other journalists. She was certainly embarrassed and disappointed when her question wasn't answered - I would be!

And yes, you're getting a glimpse of the dynamics between Roxy and Daniel. I hope that you're still reading and enjoying the story - if you continue a few more chapters, you'll discover what happened between them! Thank you for your lovely review :D


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Review #9, by Lady AsphodelMy Girl: My Girl

27th December 2014:
Hi! Here from the review tag!

My my, your way with words here are amazing! It's just awesome the way how you have Ron have this inner monologue directed at Scorpius.

It's really great the way how you drew up the feelings Ron felt when it comes to his marriage with Hermione, and becoming a father. He's sharing his experience with the love of his daughter's affection. (I hope I said that right.) Anyways, I mean your description is absolutely marvelous!

I can just feel the hesitancy of Ron giving his daughter to not just any man but an enemy's son.

And it'd make sense that Rose had to reason with him for her father to understand.



Thus, I really enjoyed reading this! You weaved the words together quite beautifully! Amazing job with this!




- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad that you enjoyed how Ron felt towards Scorpius, and thank you so much for your comments!! This was too nice.

Thanks!

-Georgia


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Review #10, by Lady AsphodelJigsaw: Piece #1

23rd December 2014:
Hey Sian!

Already the beginning lures me in! The description is so spot on!

I never read anything pertaining to Roxanne before, especially her as a protagonist. Already, I'm enjoying it! I'm getting the mood you're setting, and I can somewhat relate to her in terms of being a writer or enjoying the feeling of the keys under your fingers. It's comforting and relaxing.

I'm enjoying how you're subtly summarizing Roxanne's place in the setting and how her relationships with other characters such as Violet, Higgins, Bob, Jane etc.

I'm really enjoying the interaction between Jane and Roxanne. You're dialogue is so incredible! I fear of writing again eep!

Seriously though - it's great! It's like I'm watching tv. I am literally imagining that I can hear their voices.


You struck at my curiousity about Daniel and whatever else is wrong with the family.

And finally, Higgins makes use of Roxanne! I wonder what happened to the man from the beginning?

Really, this is just... utterly amazing! Great job in writing this!

Jigsaw is definitely a perfect title for this! :D

I've seen you've got more in store. I might just come back to read more of this!


Amazing job again! Your story definitely earned the recognition it deserves!




- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi Alishya!

I'm really glad that the description at the beginning manages to grab your attention for the rest of the chapter!

Roxanne is one of those characters, even in the next gen stories, that doesn't seem to be written about very often in fanfiction - so naturally, I want to write about her :P I'm glad you liked my portrayal of her here, and the way that I revealed information about her, and her position in the setting too.

I'm so glad you thought the dialogue between Jane and Roxy was realistic - I really enjoyed writing that scene, and it seemed to flow more easily than others in this story when I wrote it. I guess because it's the sort of conversation I'd have with my friends.

I'm not answering any questions you may have about that... you'll have to read on and find out :P

Yes, Roxy finally gets a story and you might be right in it being related to the man at the beginning haha. Thank you so much for this lovely review!


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Review #11, by Lady AsphodelTetraphobia: The three stages

28th October 2014:
Hey Avi! I decided to read this because this did catch my interest! I really love the banner you made for this story by the way! I think it should be a permanent one... instead of "temporary." ;)


Anyways, moving on to this...

The sense of unease transitioning to paranoia was perfectly written!

For me, a person who has an immense fear of darkness, you wrote her feelings down to the t, because it's how I feel!


The bits with the phobia definitions are great touches to the story as well!

You also have the characterization for Ron and Hermione down. I love how she tries to reason things, (something she'd naturally do). Poor Ron! Having to see his wife (right? I'm assuming) go through that.

I think Ron should not have left her alone after that... With her paranoia continuously growing.


That cliffhanger though! You should add more to this! You can't leave me hanging like this! XD


Outstanding job with this overall! :D



- Asphodel

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Review #12, by Lady AsphodelPunishment by the moonlight: Punishment

28th October 2014:
Hey there! Here for the Gryffindor Review exchange!

This brief story was really thrilling! It was fast-pace, but in a good way. It's like - I was actually the woman. Everything just happened in a blink of an eye... The wolf made her powerless! I feel bad for the children. Although, I feel bad for the werewolf too.

It makes one wonder... did the wolf's mother die shortly after the denial of his living arrangements because he wasn't there to take care of her properly... thus, he takes out on the woman's kids... or... is he just really spiteful?


Anyways, a really nice written piece you have here!

I wish you luck with the challenge!




- Asphodel

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Review #13, by Lady AsphodelHarry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: Any Sufficiently Advanced Technology

11th October 2014:
Another amazingly-written chapter!

Your story-telling is so soft and gentle - yet with a hint of mystique and danger.

I always love trio moments, and actually, it's been quite a while since I've read a trio-based story.

The scene with them was perfect! They're trying to carry on with their lives, though without Ginny, things are difficult.

I love the mild-mannered interaction between Ron and Hermione. I feel nostalgic because reading that.. I imagined Harry, Ron, and Hermione when they'd hang out in the Common Room or so forth. *going through the feels*

I absolutely love Octavia! She's the most awesomest little OC girl (or is she canon?) I ever read about!

I loved how she tried to cheer up Rose and Harry. The thing about innocence - something you can never gain back once lost. *sad face*


I also love the tidbit with Harry and the unicorn. A great insert of brief humor.



Now the whole part with the gunman, Percy, and Ginny. Can't wait to learn of what happened with that.



Chapter 3 - next!





- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi, there!

So, uh, fair warning. The storytelling won't stay this soft and gentle for much longer. Things are destined to get pretty rough along the way. I hope you don't find it too off-putting.

I am a huge fan of "trio moments", myself. They take me back to reading the books when the trio was young. That got to be a pretty precious thing after writing so much of a grieving, sexagenarian trio. They definitely miss Ginny.

Ron and Hermione get on better now, but from time to time you will still see the flashes of conflict there.

I'm really glad that you like Octavia. She's an integral part of the story and she'll be there until the very end.

I think you need to balance out a "heavy" story with a little humor now and then. It helps to keep the reader from getting bored.

You will find out what happened with Percy and the gunman in the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #14, by Lady AsphodelHarry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: Everything That Ever Mattered

11th October 2014:
Ah My G. Why??? SO sad!

This chapter has amazing dialogue in here - even though Harry is mostly talking to himself!

Gosh - I could just feel the absence of Ginny - which puts a damper on my shipper heart. *insert image of heart breaking in half*


I didn't notice before... but It's cool that you were in a way summarizing everything that is going on with Harry and everyone without being so obvious about it!

I can see why this story is so recommended and won such recognition!


Off to chapter 2!




- Asphodel

Author's Response: Why. Why, indeed. I've asked myself that an awful lot over the three-ish years since I started writing this story. Having Ginny not be alive was absolutely the hardest decision I made. I can't really explain it all right now without giving away a huge chunk of the plot. All I can say is that there's a good reason and when you're finished I hope you agree that it was worthwhile.

I'm glad that the "back story dump" didn't feel obvious. I tried really hard to put it in context.

That's a very kind thing to say. I hope the story continues to live up to its reputation.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #15, by Lady AsphodelHarry Potter and the Conspiracy of Blood: Prologue

11th October 2014:
Hi! I've been wanting to read this for such a long time now, hehe. Now that I am, this prologue has really piqued my interest. Heck - when you requested the banner, this story intrigued me.

This chapter here made me immensely sad. I did take notice of Ginny not really being in the picture when I looked at the pairings... *sad face*

Again though, I am still interested to see how this goes... Even if this ends sadly.

In conclusion of this review, I love your style of writing! Very close to Rowlings, yet it's through your voice... your hands - ya know-...

Well... I am off to read Chapter 1!



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi, there!

Wow, if you remember back to when I requested this banner, I have to say that your memory is really good. Feels like ages ago.

It made me sad to write this chapter. Large parts of this story left me feeling sad, to be honest. I'll talk a little more about Ginny in my next review response.

I'll say this one thing about the prologue and I don't think it will ruin any surprises: the prologue is the first part of a scene that finishes in chapter 39.

Thank you so much for the compliments! And thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #16, by Lady AsphodelAvalanche: 1

30th September 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the September Gryffindor Review Exchange!


First and foremost, let me just tell you, how you've blown me away with this story! The way you weaved this was so brilliantly!


The way of Peter's thinking. At first, it's really innocent... or pure of heart... He doesn't want to see people die - which you kept constant - until towards the end, where in Peter's epiphany, he - himself, does not want to die! That was a marvelous twist! A terribly great switch in the mind.

And this makes it so sad for me because you showed the beauty of Sirius, James and Peter's friendship. How deep it runs. James... had a lot of faith in Peter too! He entrusted his life of his own, Lily's, and Harry's... Then what Peter does anyway... It's so heart-breaking! You really stuck to canon! It brings me back to HP and the Deathly Hallows, when Harry realized that Hagrid was the one who accidently gave up information to the wrong people, though Harry knew that Hagrid would never betray him - though Remus believed Harry was just too trusting like James so... ya know... {Sorry, I am getting wordy there.}


There's this one little... nit-pick that I have... You had James say "You-Know-Who" instead of "Voldemort." I always thought James would never utter those titles people call Voldemort by because they fear him. Unless... there's something I don't know about? I mean... if it follows canon from Pottermore... or something..? I don't know. I tend to see statuses on how Pottermore disregards people's headcanons. I haven't been on Pottermore like that... So I wouldn't know...


Anyways, even so... it's not actually bad if James calls Voldemort YKW... It just stuck out when I read it.


Moving on! The overall story was just awesome! Completely outstanding! You did an amazing job stressing the importance in how the war took a toll on everyone. It changed them whether for good or for bad. I loved how you continued to remind not only to Peter, to the other characters like James, Sirius, Moody (whom Peter spoke to), but to the reader as well... as to everyone is a civilian in the war... no matter what side one's on. Everyone has family. Everyone has something to fight for. I love this! Really! Great job in writing this!




- Asphodel

Author's Response: Peter has indeed twisted himself from believing his intentions altruistic right up until he realises his drive for survival has overriden any morality, or any care for others. He did love his friends, he didn't betray them lightly, but at the end of the day, he still valued his own skin more than theirs.

It's a good point with James and You-Know-Who. I can't lie, I didn't think about it; by default I wrote anyone who wasn't Dumbledore calling him You-Know-Who. But Lupin does call him by name in PoA, so it would be entirely logical that James and Sirius did. There was no headcanon or Pottermore information to back this up; I honestly just assigned 'You-Know-Who' as a default. I think you're right, really!

The cost of war on a personal basis, the soldiers being people, and the soldiers being people just like the people they're trying to kill, was a major theme of the story. I'm glad that's shone through, as it's the core of Peter's primary motivation.

Thank you for the review, this has been lovely.


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Review #17, by Lady AsphodelYour Voice Like Warm Thunder : Childhood

1st September 2014:
Hi Jenna!

Please forgive me for the long-awaited review! I never anticipated such a long chapter. Actually, I wasn't well-prepared for coming up with my first challenge. I am truly sorry again! I'll do better next time!

So, here I am. Finally on break from school. I am seizing the chance to give you your review!

So, you really captured my attention with your smooth and poetic description. I can actually picture this baby Hagrid you painted! It's a very adorable imagery of him! The way you wrote the transitioning of Hagrid growing up was absolutely marvelous!

There's so much to love about this story! I mean - yes, I'll keep mentioning the description because it's the sole subject of my challenge. *chuckles & winks* I mean, for me, I am afraid of description... and most of the time, I am afraid of overdoing it... and I've read stories (legitimate novels and fanfiction) where authors do overdo the details. On the other hand, you did it so fantastically. Everything flows. Nothing seems out of place. Additionally, the way you took the time to go through Hagrid's life could have been a novel all on its own. It'd be really awesome if you do!

From being lookedd-down by kids from the churchyard, people of London, and being bullied by students at Hogwarts - particularly the boys from the Gryffindor Domitory - again from the Churchyard [it's already bad enough to try to fit in as a normal person] ... to his mother leaving [ever so depressing; Hagrid's assumptions as to why she left was heartbreaking]... To his estranged grandmother's terrible thoughts of Hagrid... [Shame on her: She's missing out on getting to know an amazing soul]...


Reading Hagrid getting his Hogwarts letter was so awesome! However, it's sad that he had to leave his dad. By the way, I really got to like him. He's a subtle version of Hagrid himself. I loved how he stood up to his own mother for his son. I love how fatherly he is of Hagrid. I just wish his mother would have stayed. It's even more disheartening that he died.


I have to say, I really love how you described Hagrid and his arrival at Hogwarts. The scenery you wrote of the castle made the imagery all the more beautiful!


And the way how you wrote Hagrid meeting Riddle was absolutely on point! I can feel the eeriness and the hidden evil of Tom. Too bad Hagrid couldn't sense it right away because of his loneliness.


Futhermore, I'm gleeful for Hagrid meeting Anne! Why did she have to die?! Another arrow to my heart Jenna! She's an adorable OC! Or is she a real character I didn't know of? Either way! She's really cool! It was very kind of her to bless him and being there for him whenever she could. I love what you did there too *laughs* --- {quote:
"Why, you have a very lovely voice," Anne says solemnly. "I think your voice... your voice is lovely. It sounds like warmth, and something strong - I believe your voice is like warm thunder."/quote} Awesome!


She's definitely right in that area. His voice is like warm thunder. Loud and brave when need be and always know when to strike... yet not evil enough to harm another. (If I said this right.)




In the end, I love how you wrapped it up wit Hagrid having Aragog - even though Tom (sneaky head-self) helped him... Nonetheless, Aragog did make Hagrid happy. All that you wrote here is now my head canon for Hagrid.


In conclusion, I'll say it once more (even though I can say it a million times) - flawless details, phenomenal narration! This could have been a whole novel on its own. Amazing work Jenna!

You will hear from me soon!


- Asphodel

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Review #18, by Lady AsphodelOff-Limits: Two: Leaving

1st September 2014:
Hi again! From the August Gryffindor Review Exchange. :)


So they really did it. They ran away...

I can imagine Ron going ballistic... and Hermione half-way panicking while also trying to be the voice of reason.

It's interesting to read of Dom saying that Victoire and Teddy don't get along. It makes me wonder, why they waited so long before breaking it off.

In all honesty... I never thought of Teddy and Rose to be together. I am not that well-versed with the new generation... Thus, I am only use to the normal pairings. It's intriguing path you took for Rose and Teddy.


During my read for both chapters, I noticed a couple of misspelled words... which are a quick fix if you reread them. Don't worry, I find myself making that mistake at times.


In terms of your description... I think you're good, but I still think you could do with some more depth of detailing...


Like... when you Rose and Teddy went to the Lake house...


It was brief... and unfulfilling.

I am sorry! I really don't mean to sound harsh.


On the other hand, you want your readers to live through the eyes of your main character... of Rose...


Maybe something like this...




[Entering the Lake house that once belong to my Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny, we pass through the small corridor that lead to the living room. A fireplace on the left side erupted of fire at the sense of our presence, painting the room red and gold. Warmth spread through my entire being, and a smile adorned my face.

A pair of arms wrapped around my waist from behind, and lips caressing down my neck. I arched my head in response. I reached over my shoulder and knitted my fingers through Teddy's hair, marveling the soft textures.

The scent of his cologne filled my nose. My lips curled in pleasure. When his hands found themselves under my cotton shirt, his fingers drew across my skin like paint brush against a canvas. I couldn't help but bite my bottom lip...
]


You see what I did... I kind wrote a lot and yet (I hope it wasn't boring.) It was more sensational.

I covered touch, sight, and smell. The five sense is something to consider when writing.

I haven't gotten it down myself, but I am practice. I am sure if you do this - you can get it down too, surely. And it doesn't have to be just romance scenes... anything you feel remotely want more... emphasizes (Crime scenes, action sequences etc.)... is best to get more in depth with.


Sorry for the abrupt... lesson of description. I hope though what I said was helpful! And that you continue to write!



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi again!

Sorry for the late replies. Yep they went through with it, as planned.

I think Ron would too, you've summed up their reactions perfectly I think!

Dom's an interesting one in this, she's torn because obviously Vic is her sister and Rose is her best friend and cousin. But as she said Teddy is desirable, lol so if he wasn't with Vic, Dom would have considered dating him. As they've been together so long Dom has been the one who her sister confided in when things went wrong with the relationship, rather than their mother. Dom knew things were falling apart for them, long before Rose came into the picture. The main reason they stayed together so long is that Vic thought things would work out, they were childhood sweethearts so it had to work, in her mind.

It wasn't long ago that I found the pairing, along with Teddy/Lily too. I love the Next Gen kids a lot, and with the lyrics I got for the first chapter I just knew the sort of story it would be.

Having read over, I've noticed a lot of things so I think an edit is going to be a must, that's for sure!

It's fine honestly. It probably is since I was in a rush to finish the chapter and put it in the queue before the deadline. Haha, nope I love it :D Definitely, I can see where you're coming from. This needs editing a lot, so I shall remember when it comes to re-writing/writing the chapter and those to come.

Noo, it's perfectly fine. Tips/constructive criticism is always welcome!

This swap was definitely fun!

-Potterfan310


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Review #19, by Lady AsphodelOff-Limits: One: Decisions

31st August 2014:
Hi! I'm Alishya, from the August Gryffindor Review Exchange. :)

This is my first time I read a Rose/Teddy fic by the way. It's really cool how you... sort of summarize how their adventure with each other will begin with a cliffhanger at the end.


I believe if you had wrote more interaction between Rose and Teddy in the beginning; that way, as readers, we can get more of a feel for them. (At least some more than others.)

It's understandable that Ron would go off the wall because it's her cousin... and it only tops with Rose being with Scorpius. :P

I also feel bad for Victoire (the most) because Teddy led her on... and Rose being behind it all too... they both could have had the decency to was not go far with each other.. I mean... that Teddy and Victoire were going to get married.

Other than that, your writing is pretty good. I, you, and I am sure other writers can relate to Rose as she faces writer's block too *giggles.*
Also, the title you have for the story fits this story perfectly. :D


Good luck with the challenge too! Not sure if it's over now or not... But yeah.


Forgive me for my suckish review.



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi, Alishya!

Oooh yay, haha. I think from previous reviews it's a lot of people's first Teddy/Rose since they are an unlikely pairing what with ScoRose and Tedoire being a lot more prominent.

The main reason for they're interactions being delayed is for Rose to voice things and her thoughts on the situation all before Teddy is introduced.

Ahh Ron, ha! I mean Rose dating a Malfoy is one thing, but now she's dating her cousin's ex fiance, there's bound to be drama with Ron involved :p

I totally understand what you're saying! Teddy did, mainly because a small part of him thought it would work out between them but then a bigger part were his ever growing feelings for Rose. So he was torn between the two girls.

:D I always picture Rose as a writer of sorts when it comes to certain fics, and I think everyone here can relate to writers block in one way or another.

Thank you! It is now, I came second!

Thanks for reading/the Gryffie swap!

-Potterfan310


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Review #20, by Lady AsphodelForever Young: One

2nd August 2014:
Oh my goodness! That last line really brought things home. It is haunting that James got to do have fun, fall in love and have a child, but never will get the chance to be the man and father James Potter could have been.


It's really cool how you have Harry skimming through his photo album, and how you brought a little depth into each photo... I can picture myself or Harry being physically there, watching these things happen within the photos.


I bow down to you for managing 500 words. It isn't an easy feat - I should know. ;P


Keep up the great work! :D



- Asphodel

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Review #21, by Lady AsphodelRemember Me: i. I'm putting on a brave face, even though I'm falling apart

19th July 2014:
Another entry for the "Every Word Counts!" Awesome!


The way you wrote this was absolutely and delicately beautiful!





Your use of metaphors really brought a new level of heartbreak and sadness!


Kasha was definitely strong in letting go of Teddy, instead of being selfish. This leaves a little mystery of how Kasha will move on.


Nice job in writing this overall! For me - when I entered for the challenge, it was not easy for me to keep it at 500, so I am supposing it wasn't for you. If not, then you're quite lucky. ;)


(review exchange)



- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for the review.

It certainly wasn't easy sticking to 500 words! I wrote over by a fair bit and then had to edit and cut out some of my fave lines. Oh, the woes of word limits. In a way though I like it because it relieves the stressors of writing for longer fics. Typically my novel/novella's have 3000-3500 word chapters -- which is basically the whole length of this entire story, in one chapter. With this I can write quickly and easily. The hard part here isn't writing enough, it's writing TOO MUCH :p which is a real pain, but I think (hope) it's worth it.

It's been a pleasure to exchange with you, I loved your fic!!

xo


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Review #22, by Lady AsphodelTwins and Marauders: ~One~

11th July 2014:
The mischievousers unite! *Laughs*

I love takes on the twins meeting or discovering the Marauders! And yes, Sirius would encourage Fred and George's behavior while Remus is trying to do the opposite *laughing*.

I forgot all about the twins apparating around the Black's house. This surely does bring memories!

I can see (if Sirius lived) [that he at least] would have worked with the Weasley twins to create a lot more mischief! *grins widely*


This was a really cool read!




~ House Cup 2014: Event 5

- Asphodel

Author's Response: I really hope the twins did find out that Sirius and Remus made the Marauder's Map. I feel like JKR should have written something about that!

I bet Sirius would have loved to help the twins out. Imagine what he could've done as a consultant for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. *sigh*

Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #23, by Lady AsphodelOutsmarting Umbridge: Outsmarting Umbridge

11th July 2014:
*Rolling on the floor laughing my head off!* Oh my goodness! Seriously, stop it! This was so funny!

I'm getting so much feels here! I love Professor McGonagall! I always will! It's even more funnier
when students get in trouble with her - particularly the twins, Malfoy, and the trio!


Anyways, I really love how you kept Professor McGonagall in character! I wrote about her before (in my older - and now - deleted works) but not so much - and I always fear of writing her because I feel I can't capture her personality like Rowling. However, you did wonderfully! She's always loyal, takes crap from NO ONE, and she knows how to show people who they're reckoning with!


I truly love the loyalty and friendship of Professor Sprout and Flitwick! I always enjoy teacher/staff scenes - and these were great! This really takes me back to the fifth book... you opened some room here for me to bask! Thank you for that!


And of course, I enjoyed the part with the twins and the bit with Hermione and Ron cutting in.


You definitely kept Professor, or Headmistress, Umbridge in character too! Professor McGonagall giving her "the sweets" was the icing on the cake!


Overall, I seriously enjoyed reading this! Amazing! Absolutely amazing!




~House Cup 2014: Event 5

- Asphodel

Author's Response: Thanks! I enjoyed this one. It was a great random dialogue bit I got, and I adore McGonagall. I haven't written her nearly enough. The pressure she was under and the grace with which she handled herself was incredible. Wish I was half the witch she is. :-)


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Review #24, by Lady AsphodelA New Moon: A New Moon

11th July 2014:
*Laugh out loud*, wow! I really loved reading this! I really laughed at the ending where the boys (James, Sirius, and Peter) came out in the nude! (I imagine quite good looking too *giggles*)

Anyways, this was a really nice intake on Remus' first experience with the Wolfsbane potion. It's like one of those missing moments in books/movies challenge I did while ago! These types always are interesting and even believable - especially when these are well written.


I can see Remus was nervous at first about taking it because he could potentially have killed himself, but as we know it turns out for the best; his transformation result is good! It's quite funny imagining the big bad lycan version of Professor Lupin behaving the way you're describing him, when I'll always see him... well beastly basically!


Also, I believe you did really good taking me through Remus' eyes as a lycan... because I never actually read that much in depth about him... Normally when it's the full moon (in fan fiction) he disappears and doesn't appear until later in a chapter or two.


So yeah, all in all, you did really great!


~ House Cup 2014: Event 5

- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for all of the sweet compliments! I'm so glad you liked the story :)



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Review #25, by Lady AsphodelYou. (Me).: You. (Me).

9th July 2014:
Hey Sian! It's me Alishya! Reviewing for the HC!


This was absolutely stunning! Inspiring! The meaning was of beauty that you showed through Victoire was deep too!


You really captured me with your words! I love these two line, The person beneath the exquisite exterior is unknown to those around it, because the skin remains unblemished, and nobody could believe that such loveliness can belie a damaged core. People wish only to know the magnificent mask, to bask in the light which such a form emits.


Even despite her beauty - it is a curse for her! No one can really see for who she is... (I think except for Teddy - if I assumed correctly). She's longing to be normal and accepted for her of herself!


Stories or... Excerpts about masks always intrigues me, and you really touched something within me and I believe for other readers who feel that they cannot be or feel accepting of them selves.


Amazing job in writing this! Keep it up dear!



~ House Cup Review 2014


- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hey Alishya! It's great to see you here! :D

Oh wow, thank you so much! I put a lot of effort into the description and imagery in this piece because of the theme of beauty in it. But yes, I wanted to put a different twist on the idea of beauty, because for Victoire she feels like it's a curse and nobody will be able to see her for the person she truly is. Thank you so much for all your lovely comments, and hearing that it's touched you makes this even better! ♥


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