Hello there, On the forum page I am Gwen_Prewett feel free to contact me about beta :) - really like the story by the way, I read it the other day

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm sorry, I haven't had much time to contact you, but I'll try to get on it, if you still need a Beta, once I finish school, which is next Thursday.
~Magicalis Writer

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Hi Bill, thanks for the story I did really enjoy it, I really liked that you didn't skate over finding Hermione's parents like other stories do but I did find at finds that you seem to run away with your description. I'd recommend prioritising it, like don't need a full description of each meal or a diner, its the extraordinary in HP I always find I want to emerge myself in. also thanks for making an effort with the British colloquialisms, so many writers ruin stories for me because of american slang which just doesn't suit HP. my only real qualm is that I don't like the whole marriage stuff, but that's my personal preference. I think it's so sweet you wrote it for your son though and love that you stick to the canon,

thanks for writing - write more!

Author's Response: Gwenevere,

I have never written fiction, much less dialog, and in retrospect I agree, there are scenes and I think even some chapters that an editor would knock back a bit. Sometimes what was driving the prose was what I was learning to do.

I got a lot of help on British English from HPFF readers and I hope when I finish this current edit the Americanisms won't be "cringe worthy" as one reader called them.

Thanks for taking the time to review, I appreciate your response.

Bill



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Hello there thanks for reading! Please leave reviews :)

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