Reading Reviews From Member: newgenerationlover
  
316 Reviews Found

Review #1, by newgenerationloverIn Operibus Suis: Anne Woodville

19th December 2014:
When I saw who you wrote about in this story's title page or whatever it is called, I immediately skipped all the others and came here. Let me tell you one thing: I LOVE ELIZABETH WOODVILLE! So I was very intrigued when I saw her family name and and am very happy that I came and read this chapter.

I was wondering this whole time as to what Anne's great accomplishment was going to be. As Anne is but a whisper in history as Elizabeth is such a known name, I had no idea what was going to make her so accomplished, but now, after what she did, I can definitely see where you took this.

I loved how Elizabeth was in Slytherin and Anne, the more curious one, went to Ravenclaw to find a place where she could be so much more than in the muggle world at that time. And her beind able to use her, at least temporary, love spell on Edward makes so much sense in the history of it all that I am now convinced that is exactly what happened. I even love how Elizabeth and Jacquatta (yes, I did have to look up how to spell her name) were charged, or at least thought to be witches and here they actually are. Nice touch :P

Really loved this story! You did a great job!
Mary

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Review #2, by newgenerationloverMy Life In Gold: My Life In Gold

18th December 2014:
Hi there! So I saw your blog post on the forums and thought I would come check this out and I am really glad I did! This story is truly amazing and I am glad that there is at least one trans story on here. Honestly, if I am going to be frank here, I really don't know much about the transgender community. I live my life in a bubble (though I am still rather young so it is understandable) and the most interactions I've had with the trans community is knowing they exist and from watching Orange is the New Black on Netflix. This makes me feel terrible for saying it, but I feel like I don't really understand them, never having felt that way before myself nor having ever met a trans person. However, I feel like this story has shown me at least a glance of what it is like for them and I really appreciate you for that. I will definitely be looking that up on google because I really do want to learn more, least I become closed off and prejudice. So I guess I just want to say thanks :P

Ok, now onto the actual review! I honestly love how you wouldn't have known there was anything different about Albus if he hadn't wanted to try on her mother's dress (it is right to call Albus 'her', right? I'm just guessing as you did that in the rest of the story.) You didn't go and make her shout it from the roof tops or be like "Hi, my names Albus and I'm transgender" like I could see at least a couple people on this site doing. You made her normal, which I guess is the right thing to do as trans people are and the way I am saying this sounds terrible so I am just going to reword it: You are a great author with a great hold on the subject. That makes sense right? Gosh, I feel like a madwoman rambling on here :P

I now really want Ginny's dress :P I love the details you added, focusing on the clothes just enough to show that she appreciated them without going on some long monologue about each dress and what every one is wearing and how beautiful everyone looks and just omg (by the way, that last part was supposed to be said in that kind of nasally middle schooler voice... gosh, I feel like I am coming off like a terrible person in this review! I'm a good person! I promise!! Or maybe I am a bad person. *existential crisis*)

I love how Albus has such strong support around him. It is most of the time terrible for trans people even in todays (at least semi) open world, as we can see from that horrible girl in the dorms, so I am so happy she has people around her she knows loves her and Scorpius and OMG FANGIRL MOMENT and just amazing. Love it so much!

This story really is wonderful! Good luck with getting it published!!
Mary

Author's Response: Oh my gosh! *squee* This is kind of the dream review right here--thank you!

The fact that you're open-minded and WANT TO KNOW is what matters!

Ha, this story is almost a fanfiction of the movie Ma Vie en Rose too :p I saw it when I was little, and everyone was so MEAN to the little kid for wanting to wear dresses, and I was all like "OF COURSE DRESSES ARE PRETTY." So yeah, I really wanted to write something where people were SUPPORTIVE and there were GOOD EXAMPLES and POSITIVE ROLE MODELS.

A lot of that description of clothes and things came from the fact that I use NO pronouns during the first half, and then after the name "Ciara" comes up, I use ONLY pronouns--which is SUPER HARD to write around without seeming awkward.

Yee! Thank you so much for this review, it's like crazy encouraging in so many ways!

xoxo
Roisin


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Review #3, by newgenerationloverInfamous: I Feel the Earth Move

3rd December 2014:
OH MY F-ING LORD! WHAT IS THIS? HAS HELL FROZEN OVER? HAVE PIGS BEGUN TO FLY? I'M SORRY BUT I JUST CAN'T GET OVER WHAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME BECAUSE YOU UPDATED MY BABY IN THE FIRST TIME IN 123456789000 YEARS AND I'M SO HAPPY AND I LITERALLY GASPED AND SQUEALED WHEN I SAW THIS (the sad part is I'm not exaggerating there) AND YOU HAVE MADE MY LIFE AND I WANT TO REACH ACROSS THE INTERNET AND GIVE YOU A BIG HUG AND OHMYGODNESSGRACIOSICANNOTBELIEVETHISISHAPPENINGRIGHTNOW.

Phew. Okay, I just took a deep breath and I think I am back to normal... or at least normal for me. JAMES AND HAZEL ARE LITERALLY THE CUTEST AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH ALL THAT RIGHT NOW. Him teasing her with the whole announcing his approach thing was too adobs and I have officially adding him onto the list of fictional characters I want to hug. AND HIM WITH HIS GPDA IS LEGIT THE BEST THIS EVER AND HE IS MY NEW FAVORITE PERSON AND HE AND HAZEL JUST NEED TO OFFICIALLY PROFESS THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER AND MAKE OUT. You see? This is what happens when you don't update my baby in forever! I get way to overly emotional!

WHAT THE HECK IS HAZEL DOING WITH ALBUS? WHAT HIS IS DOING STARING AT HER BOOBS? WHAT THE F ARE THEY DOING ALMOST KISSING? WHAT THE F ARE YOU DOING HAVING JAMES ALMOST WITNESS THEM ALMOST KISSING? THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! YOU CAN'T JUST PLAY ME AND MY FEELINGS LIKE THIS DAWG!

Super duper excited for the polyjuice potion prank :P Is Albus gonna be mad when he realizes James is also a part of the prank? I hope he is because he needs to know that Hazel and James are together and in love and that he and Hazel are never gonna be together and he should just go along and go out with Gemma and that's all I really have to say on the subject. PLEASE UPDATE SOON AND DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING FOR 123456789000 YEARS AGAIN!!

LOVE YOUR FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD!!
Mary xoxoxoxoxo

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Review #4, by newgenerationloverImpact: Confrontation

29th November 2014:
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE LIKE THAT!! THAT IS NOT FAIR!! NOT ON THAT BIG OF A CLIFF HANGER!! THE NEXT CHAPTER BETTER BE IN THE QUEUE RIGHT NOR OR ELSE I WILL GO ALL LIAM NEESON ON YOU AND I WILL FIND YOU, AND KILL YOU. Ok, well I probs won't kill you as that would make the next chapters of this and my baby be put on hold indefinitely but I WILL FIND YOU AND... do something. Yeah, Not really sure were I'm going with that one to be honest... Anyway, speaking about my baby, WHERE ON THIS GOOD EARTH IS IT'S UPDATE?? Yes, I appreciate all these update but HAVE YOU ABANDONED MY BABY LIKE PROFESSOR NOTT ABANDONED CEE-CEE?? (Good parallel, huh? ;)) I DEMAND YOU GO ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW, OPEN UP WHERE EVER YOU ARE WRITING MY BABY AND DON'T GET UP BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER IS DOWNLOADED TO THE ARCHIVES!!

Phew, glad that is out of my system. Ok, so to the chapter. Ah, gosh, that person your BF is also super close to. Aren't they just the worst? Totally reasonable that Cee-Cee was glad Rose got to see the other side of that relationship with Cee-Cee being friends with Lucy, I mean, I've certainly done that before. Ugh, and her just being so perfect makes it all the more worse for Cee-Cee you know? I just want to hug her and make it all right again *cries* Legit worst thing about life is that you can't go into books and occasionally just hug it out with a character.

Oh goodness, sugar-honey-iced-tea just went down. Cee-Cee and Al dueling... WHAT IS THIS? Why can't they just get all their pent up frustration out with a good ol' kiss (read: intense make out session). I loved how Cee-Cee felt so invigorated during the duel, that for once, she was actually doing something. Maybe that will lead to her taking more chances, especially with a certain Potter child *wink wink* OH GOD, I HONESTLY CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT CLIFF HANGER. YOU ARE SATAN RIGHT NOW. BLAIR REARRANGED SPELLS DEVIL.

PLEASE UPDATE SOON YOU LOVELY PERSON!!
Mary

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Review #5, by newgenerationloverImpact: Situation

29th November 2014:
Ok, first off, before I get into the nit and grit of the chapter... I THINK I AM GOING CRAZY. I saw your story updated like a couple days ago but it only had up to chapter 8 up and now there is 10?? Am I missing something? Did you become a trusted author and just put two chapter up at once? Did the site mess up? Am I just really going crazy and need to check into the loony hut??

Ok, now that that is done, ONWARD TO THE REVIEW! So not only does Al flirt with every breathing being with boobs, but he now also flirts with the ones that don't breathe? I feel like there is a weird fetish name for that ;) THANK YOU CEE-CEE FOR CALLING HIM OUT ON HIS D-BAGGERY!! I feel like she should be snapping her fingers in a z-formation a lot of the time. AH THEY ARE SO ADORABLE WHEN THEY ARE FLIRTING OVER WHAT CEE-CEE'S MIDDLE NAME IS! STAWP! MY HEART HURTS FROM ALL THE CUTENESS!!

OH MY GOD! LITERALLY DIED! (well not literally obviously :P) Scorpius asking for sex advice is too much. TOO MUCH. I shall embrace my inner white girl for a moment and say: I CAN'T EVEN RIGHT NOW. Gosh, I hope to god I don't ever have to live through a conversation like that with like my brother or anything. "shudders" But she gave him some good advice and I think they are so adorable together because they are so close and look out for each other and I'm so glad you don't have him as the over-done super over protective brother and just YASSS. This story is just too perfect :P

Love,
Mary

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Review #6, by newgenerationloverImpact: Friction

29th November 2014:
HI IM HERE FOR THE REVIEW IM 50 YEARS LATE ON. Wow, sorry for all the shouting but it just seemed appropriate you know? Anyways, hello there Blair!! Long time no see right? Just to let you know, I know I haven't replied to your PM yet but I'm making myself finish the next chapter of HTBMOMAG first which I'm almost done with!! *cheers* Anyway, on to your wonderful story :P TIPPY IS SO ADORABLE AND I JUST WANT TO HUG HER!! She is so adorable and I love that Cee-Cee watches over her and ugh its just too much cuteness to handle. God! F-ing Silas!! Who is he? Why did he suddenly try to corner her?? I NEED TO KNOW MORE AND I ALSO NEED CEE-CEE TO KICK HIM WHERE IT HURTS!! Sorry but ew. He is grody and that's all I'm going to say about the matter. ALLLBBUUUSSS! Oh gosh, is it just me or is he getting more adorable every chapter? Yes, yes, he is still kind of a d-bag but I still ship it. THE SHIP HAS LEFT PORT. I REPEAT: THE SHIP HAS LEFT PORT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND THERE IS NO WAY IT IS GOING BACK. Ok, now I really need to go and continue reading. Bye, lovely!!
xoxo
Mary

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Review #7, by newgenerationloverA Few Shades of Nothing: Superiority

10th November 2014:
Really great story! Love this girls sarcasm (sorry, did I miss her name somewhere or just forget about it??) and her wit. Can't wait to keep reading :P

Author's Response: there was an incredibly brief moment in chapter two when peeves calls out her name (while he's entering), but that was all. ;)

i have something against introducing characters' names too soon in the story in case it gives the reader a 'first impression' before they get to know her, you know? ^__^

thanks for reviewing!


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Review #8, by newgenerationloverLiar, Liar: Stalker

6th November 2014:
Oh my gosh. I don't exactly know what I was thinking I was going to get into when I started redwing this, but it wasn't this. This was smart, witty, and interesting. I already really like cat and how suave she can be when she really wants to. I think it would be interesting if we could also see her a little more calculating than just her running around gathering secrets, though with the hints dropped, I guess you have already planed to have some of that :P. James is pretty good as well. The only thing I didn't really like about him was the whole "what?! Not everyone wants to be popular??" Thing. He seems a little bit smarter than that... At least that is the impression I got from him. But other than that I really enjoyed this. I can't wait for the next chapter to see what happened to kidnapped James XD

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Don't worry, we actually get to see the calculating side of Cat next chapter... and you're right, James is actually smarter than that, it just might take him a little bit to figure it out - being popular means something different to him than it does to our trio of troublemakers. :)

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Review #9, by newgenerationloverNot all he's cracked up to be: A round of applause

5th November 2014:
Wow really interesting story! Jezebel (is it pronounced jes-a-bell or jeaz-a-bell?) is quite a character. She is very blunt, sarcastic, and witty and I really am enjoying her. You have done a good job setting up scenes and describing everything. I really liked how Jezebel got a pang of jealousy when Harry got the big round of applause instead of just cheering along like everyone else. She thinks about things differently and I am looking forward to seeing where she is headed. Great job so far and I will be looking for the next update :P

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Review #10, by newgenerationloverLike Clockwork: Antiquity

13th October 2014:
Hi there! Here for the review swap!

Ok, you have me totally engrossed in your story. How did she not get burned? How did she shot flames out her mouth? How is she going to be in Marauders era? I really want to keep reading so badly and you are killing me right now because there is only one chapter!! *cries*

Your writing is very polished. You perfectly articulated her feelings and the situation she is in. And just, "They cried out words of such disgust, such distaste, it had left a sour taste in my mouth." Ugh, that is just perfection right there. Legit perfection.

There were just a couple things I caught. "It was sort of what my young eleven year old imaged hell to appear as." Should it be "eleven year old self?" And then where is the "Happy Halloween" coming from? I would just cut it out as it is discombobulated to the rest and confusing about who said it and why.

But those are just little things. This chapter is so amazing I can already see a great story in the works. I am definitely going to come back and look for updates.

Great job!
Mary

Author's Response: Hi, Mary!

Thanks! And to answer your questions on the fire: Magic. ;D

I'll try to get another chapter up soon! And I may update it through November when I need a break from my NaNo (I'm that kind of writer who needs a distraction and mental break).

Thanks so much! I'm flattered.

I'll go through and change those grammatical errors soon! Thank you so much for pointing them out.

Thanks so much! This put a smile on my face :)

-Leigh


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Review #11, by newgenerationloverL'optimisme: Bulgaria

11th October 2014:
Ok, so first off let me congratulate you on your Dobby win!! *hugs* You deserve it, Aph. Your writing is truly amazing! Secondly, thank god for the BvB battle cause it made me visit your page, which, in turn, made me see that you had updated. Sque!!!

Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top teach a writing class. I need to know how to write so well!!! *cries* This whole chapter (read: everything you have ever written. ever.) is not only utterly eloquent in every fashion, but you so perfectly show your characters and all their thoughts, feelings and emotions. You are da bomb dot com. That is all.

Dear god. Is it bad that I want to hug him as well as run away in fear at the same time?? Goodness me, if he is going to kill hundreds at the tip of the hat, I don't know how close I would like to get to him no matter how much I want to fix his *cue baby voice* wittle hweart.

So who is this guy who they killed anyway?? Am I missing something or are you being all mysterious like and just keeping it a secret? Whomever (whoever? eh whatever) he killed must have been important. A friend? A mentor? A brother? A *wiggles eyebrows* lover?? Telll meee!!

Oooo the elder wand. Fancy. This part made me giggle: 'I was to be the sun, heralding the new age, bringing the light and the day and all the beauty and certainty it possessed.' He sure has the ego, doesn't he? :P He reminds me of Oedipus pre-finding out he killed his father and made babies with his mama.

Gosh, my heart broke when he said, "Some days, Albus, I think I hate you. Others, I know that I do." NOO! YOU DON'T HATE HIM!! YOU LOVE HIM! HE IS YOUR SOUL MATE! YOUR STAR CROSSED LOVER!! *falls into a heap and sobs* Why, Aph?? Why are you giving me the feels??

Ok well until next time!

xoxo
Mary

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Review #12, by newgenerationloverLethargic: About October

9th October 2014:
You can't even understand how happy I am right now just because you updated! This is honestly my favorite story on this site at the moment and I can never get enough of it :P Loving the prank wars. Dom getting out all her pent up anger by pranking anyone who has done her the tinniest bit of a disservice is both terrifying, fitting and hilarious. Talking about hilarious, Brett's Hufflepuff tattoo. Litterally almost died XD Is it bad that I am totally shipping Brett and Carrie?? Yes, I know there is that whole thing with her and James going on but she is so great with Brett!! He accepts her for who she is, though it is only in private but with a little growing up to do, that could change. They also obviously have great chemistry together. I'm betting that something will happen between them at the parents' Halloween party. I'm hoping it is something good :P Can't wait for the next chapter!!

Author's Response: I'm glad that the update made you happy. I'm also honored that this is your favorite story on the site right now.

Dom just seems like the type of person to take all of her frustration out at one time when she has a good excuse. I can't really blame her since her family is huge and constantly getting into trouble.

I'm glad that Brett's Hufflepuff tattoo made you laugh. It took me a while to figure out what would be a prank that would make Carrie burst out laughing.

A lot of people seem to be shipping Carrie and Brett right now. I also would say that you're judgement of Brett is slightly off right now. He does accept Carrie for who she is, but only in private.

Thank you for leaving me a review! The next chapter should be out soon.


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Review #13, by newgenerationloverImpact: Information

4th October 2014:
Firstly, was it the War of the Roses? And secondly, OMG TWO NEW CHAPTERS!! I HONESTLY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF RIGHT NOW! Ok, so know we know, or should I say now Cee (yeah, just going to now call her by the nickname Lorcan calls her because it is shorter and really quite adorable :P) know that Nott is her father. At risk of sounding like a cilche, I can't even right now. And good lord, I can't tell if I am totally shipping Lorcan and Cee because he is so sweet even though I'm pretty sure it was revealed to us earlier that he was gay. though that may have been another story I was reading... Gosh, all the stories sometimes blend together, you know? And Albus and Cee! Squueee!! Ok, sorry for the short review but there is ANOTHER CHAPTER!!! Ok bye, boo :P

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Review #14, by newgenerationloverCynical: Chapter Three

29th September 2014:
What can I say, I just love this story :P Chie is a really interesting and unique character. You have done a good job making her such a cynical character while still showing how she actually does have all this hope for the future, just never really letting herself see it so she wouldn't get disappointed again. I hate how Chie is so mean to her mother. Cho is obviously trying so hard to make their relationship work but Chie just doesn't let her *cries* And oh god, James Potter is so adorable. I really hope they get together!! I love how Chie has noted that if it wasn't for her parents divorce and how it changed her, how she then probably would have been just in love with James as he is with her. I think he can teach her how to trust again and how to love again ^_^ They are just so adorable and I just want to hug them!! Haha! I can't wait to keep reading :P

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you really like Chie! She's definitely one of the most interesting (at least in my opinion) characters that I've written. I'm also glad that you like James! Truthfully, I really do love this story at the moment and I'm super excited that you do too!

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Review #15, by newgenerationloverA Matter of the Heart: Two

20th September 2014:
Ok so I absolutely love this story! Cordelia is insecure and fearful and that takes up most of the story, but you have presented it in a way that is very realistic and not at all mary sue-ish. I love the relationship and dynamics between Cordelia and her two friends. The conversations between them are not at all contrived and are things that actual seventeen year old friends would say and talk about. Ep! I love Cordelia and Albus! They are so adorable and they can break out of their little bubbles of insecurity together :P Albus is definitely right, Lily and Clara don't take responsibility and think that everything they want should just be handed to the on a silver platter. Even though I haven't seen much of them that just totally sums them up to me. The only conversation that seemed a little forced was when Cordelia and Albus voiced all their fears. It wasn't all that bad. It really wasn't. But if you went back and changed anything, that would be the part I would go back to. Well I'm really enjoying this and totally shipping Albus and Cordelia and I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Aww I'm so glad that you like this story! :) Originally, I had planned for this story to be a novella, but then I realized that I kind of wanted to keep it short and simple so it's a short story. I'll definitely re-read, and see if I can go back and make edits. Thanks for pointing that out. I wanted to make Cordelia's insecurity realistic so that she's relatable. I'm glad that you liked it! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! :)

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Review #16, by newgenerationloverImpact: Education

19th September 2014:
Wait... WHAT??? HER FATHER?? OMG! PLOT DEVELOPMENTS!! Sqeee!! Ok, so I am being such a horrible reader as I still haven't left a review for the last chapter but this one is up so I just had to read it and you just DROPPED THAT BOMB ON US AND OMG I AM FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION. WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION?? *cries* You can't just do things like this to your fragile, little readers! It breaks us mentally and most of us are already a little to crazy! (*cough cough* me *cough cough*) Ok, so did we know that she didn't know her father? Maybe we did and I just didn't remember... Being crazy affects your memory sometimes, if you didn't know that already *nods* Ok, so from the beginning! OMG I LOVE LOUIS SO MUCH. HE IS SO ADORABLE AND I LOVE THAT HE IS A CUDDLIER AND I JUST WANT TO CUDDLE WITH HIM AND GAH! Wow, I am really using the heck out of my caps lock key. Sorry. And Albus! I love him but he is such a prat isn't he?! Like dud, grow up! But they have so much sexual tension and I'm just sitting here like "JUST KISS ALREADY! GOODNESS GRACIOUS!" :P So what is she going to do about this information?? Is she going to faint or run away and hide or act casual like nothing happened or go up to him and slap him for being an absent father or is she going to question her mental sanity that everyone else figured out it was her father before she did or is she going to be weirded out that everyone knew she had an absent father who's name is Theo or what?? TELL MEEE!! Oh, and finally HOW DARE YOU UPDATE MY PET BEFORE MY BABY!! Sorry, just felt like I had to say that. But I'm not too mad because I know all the Hazel/James action just takes a bit more time to write and that's why 12 is taking so long, right? ;)

LOVE YOU AND PLEASE UPDATE SOOON!!
Mary :P

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Review #17, by newgenerationloverbloom.: bloom

7th September 2014:
Well thanks for making me cry *crosses arms and pouts* Goodness me, this was one of the best stories I have read in a while. Your writing is just impeccable and your character are so realistic and fascinating and just gah! You need to teach a class on creative writing. I think it should be called How To Make Your Readers Cry in a One-Shot 101 ;)

I looovvveeeddd Poppy! I don't think I've read any stories about her before but after this, I definitely want to. Your backstory for her is unlike anything I would have thought of. Her first being a girl who just wants to have fun, not caring about work; to being married at a young age, getting pregnant despite her wishes, and then having the baby, once she finally came to love her, get ripped from her arms, literally; to becoming determined and a healing prodigy. Her character just has so much life and I love it so much. You did such a wonderful job with this story, good luck with the STOM nomination :P

-Mary

Author's Response: ahaha, i'm sorry to make you cry! but wow, thank you so much, i'm so glad you liked it :D ahhh, i could never teach a class on writing! i'm a STUDENT of creative writing! ahaha, i am nowhere near ready to be teaching other people how to follow my weird messy writing tips XD

i had never read a story about Poppy before I wrote this, so I'm so glad you liked her!! I really don't know where this backstory came from - I just kind of sat down and thought about what would be an interesting motivation to be a healer, and thought that losing a loved one and wanting to cure the disease they died from would be perfect for a person who was slightly obsessive. then i sat down to write, and it spiralled from there! but it all felt so natural that these things should happen to her, like it's the way it all should be and i wasn't making it up, just telling a story that already existed - so i'm so glad you liked how it all tied together.

oh my god, thanks so much for the SOTM nomination! another one of my stories was nominated too, ahaha, i can never believe that people would like my weird writing this much!! thank you x

~Maia


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Review #18, by newgenerationloverDangereux: Prologue

7th September 2014:
Hi there, Sara! When you posted in the cabin that your prologue was up I immediately had to come over and check it out!

Oh goodness! Why did they go into that creepy place? Have they never seen a horror movie before?! That is honestly just Common Sense 101, you don't go into super scary places because you will die. Period. That is the end. No more. Gah!! Is Marietta the one screaming?? Oh gosh, what did he do to her?? You already have me so invested!!

Well you have already done a marvelous job on this story. I know you said you aren't good at prologues but this one is SUPER good! You already have me invested in the character (though they do stupid things like going into creepy cellars *narrows eyes*) and you have me asking so many questions like what is the story they are investigating? Who is the man? Who's blood is on the wall? I can't wait to keep reading, keep up the good work!

-Mary

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Review #19, by newgenerationloverFanged Revolution: Chapter the First

6th September 2014:
Hi there! Here for the BvB battle!

So I really enjoyed this beginning! You took on a very clinical tone with your narration, just showing what happened and why, no real emotion showing and I found that very interesting. I really liked all of your descriptions. I could really see the scene myself with them so good job!

Oh no! He killed her! So was it just that he was so hungry that he could no longer stop himself from killing the innocent, a thing he expressed loathing of? It would be so horrible to be forced to do things that go against your moral code just because of your thirst.

Hope you don't mind a little CC! Try changing up sentence structure here and there, otherwise it will read monotonous. For instance in the first paragraph, instead of "The floor was covered in a carpet of brown dirt that produced clouds of dust whenever someone took a step." Try something like "Covered in a carpet of brown dirt, the floor produced clouds of dust whenever someone took a step." Also, try to get rid of some of the simple sentences and combine them like "Most of them were dodgy characters, as the clientele of a Knockturn Alley establishment was expected to be. The majority were crowded into tight-knit groups of four or five." into "Most were dodgy characters, as the clientele of a Knockturn Alley establishment was expected to be, who crowded into tight-knit groups of four or five."

Ok, sorry, that CC looks really long but its just because of the multiple copy and pasted sentences! I really did enjoy this beginning! Good job with the story so far!

-Mary

Author's Response: Hi Mary!

It's always a compliment when someone tells you that they could visualize your scene. Thank you :)

Yes, the woman is dead. Nightstalker is not happy with himself about that. He's a very Lupin-esque character (at least in my mind.)

I'll try and vary my sentences, once I find my muse again - I've lost it :(.

I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the review!

~Olivia


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Review #20, by newgenerationloverJust Go With It: Pain

4th September 2014:
Hi there! Here for the BvB battle!! Please don't hate me for choosing this story instead of the one you wanted me to review, my curiosity got the better of me when I got to your author page and this story immediately caught my eye!

Yay! Love me some Victor Krum stories!! I really liked how you started the story by James' POV, showing how he didn't really understand what was happening. He is so adorable!! ^.^ I also really liked your characterization of Victor. He feel for Hermione because she saw the person past the star, which, as he latter said in similar words, is what he had always wanted.

Gosh, I'm so torn between wanting to have been in a high pureblood family because you get to wear pretty dresses and go to balls but then you usually have to accept a life of not being loved by your parents, which I wouldn't really like all that much honestly ;) Victor has been looking his whole life for love, found it, but then had it torn away when Hermione fell for Ron. I can't wait for Victor to find his love interest so he can be happy!!

Great job on the story so far!
Mary

Author's Response: Hi!

It's totally fine that you reviewed JGWI... And I'm very very glad you enjoyed the opening chapter. :)

But unfortunately, I've suddenly lost my muse to continue with this story. I've tried to write the eighth chapter again and again but I'm not having any luck with it. There are too many plot holes in the storyline and it's getting harder and harder to complete this.

So this story is currently on hiatus and I'm not sure if I want to continue with it. I'm considering deleting it or abandoning it.

But I still appreciate and love this awesome review! Thanks a million, Mary! :D

Ashwini


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Review #21, by newgenerationloverThe Letters to No One: a girl can dream;

4th September 2014:
Oh gosh! I was not expecting that ending!! Wow! I don't even know what to say other than I am more than a little creeped out right now haha. Astoria is not fully right in the head, is she? I mean, I guess you could see if from the beginning with her obsession with Draco being a little less than healthy. Then again, I can't say Draco is any better than her. First of all sending random notes in the mail to see if anyone would reply and then keeping his dead wife locked away in some room! Why did he keep her there? Does he have some strange obsession with dead bodies? Does he have a cadavers fetish?? Ok, other than the fact that you wrote about some people that need some serious therapy, I really liked this story. You're writing is very good and your character are well rounded. I enjoyed reading this one shot (does that make me weird? ;)). Good job and I would say good luck with the challenge but as you are my competition I'd rather not ;)
-Mary

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Review #22, by newgenerationloverMemoirs of an Object: Little Girl Lost

3rd September 2014:
Hello! Here for the BvB battle!

Wow, never really thought of Lily's life this way. I, being the hopeless romantic, believed without a second thought that when Lily said yes to James, she began her happily ever after... or as much as she could whilst a war raged around her. However, this seems like a very plausible outcome as well. We saw Lily as such a fiercely independent person and if you think about it you wouldn't really peg her for a 'marry right out of school' kind of person and be ready for a life at home.

I really enjoyed this story. Not only did I like seeing the different outlook but I thought you wrote this extremely well. Though you did stray off the normal path a bit, your Lily seems to be very canon-ish which I love. You perfectly captured the plight of a girl who is stuck in a place in her life where she doesn't see much going forward in. I also loved the ending, when it seemed like she was just going to be miserable forever, she sees the light in the fact that she will have a baby, a person that can have everything she couldn't. You did a wonderful job on this story :P

-Mary

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Review #23, by newgenerationloverImpact: Embarkation

3rd September 2014:
Ahh! Eeee! Another chapter so soon!! This must be my lucky day!! I should see just how far my luck spans and by a lottery ticket... who knows, maybe in a few days your favorite reader will be a millionaire ;) Ok, let me just start by saying how much I love Rose in this story. I don't think I've ever read about a Slytherin Rose but she is feisty, loud, rude, and in touch with her sexuality (which is a thing not most fifteen years olds can say but I commend her for). And guess who else I like?? Louis!! Ok, we still haven't seen much of him but, I don't really know why, but the whole 'I don't understand the meaning of personal space' thing just made me laugh and immediately like him. And Ceci!! Gosh, I'm just going to say that I love all your characters as going through each one would take yearrrsss. Yay! She shares my very thought about parties. In theory, they are awesome, then you get there and you're like 'ew, people' Please please please please please update soon!! Love this so much but (I just feel like I have to add this in as its my baby) don't forget about Infamous!!
xoxo
Gossip Girl
JK, its actually Mary ;)

Author's Response: Yay, I love your reviews! Rose is basically Ron's worst nightmare of a daughter (except for her Quidditch talent, duh), but he still loves her unconditionally of course since she does have a few redeeming qualities, haha. Like I said, there's more Louis in chapter 5 and I really hope he continues to grow on you! Ceci shares my opinion on parties as well - it's hard not to interject a bit of myself in her because she's a tad more realistic than some of my other characters. As you'll see in the A/N of the next chapter (which is now posted - AHEM), I am working diligently on your baby and promise that will be the very next thing I update!

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Review #24, by newgenerationloverOf Lycans and Nail Polish: James Potter howls in general, not just for attention (but don't take my word for it.)

3rd September 2014:
HI there! Well this story sure is unique! James Potter has, dare I say it, *whispers* lycanthropy?? *gasps* I really like this beginning. Girls are going wild, the news is in an uproar, and James is possibly in the hospital! What next?! You sure have thrown us into the thick of things but I think it really pulls the reader in right away. You have a very good voice, especially for humor. I'm liking it a lot :P I also noticed how you slipped in that Means Girls reference. You go Glen Coco ;) Can't wait for the next update, I will definitely be looking out for it!

Author's Response: I was actually thinking about how to respond for a long time, because you noticed the Mean Girls reference and I feel like lately Mean Girls hasn't been getting the love it fully deserves. Knowing Mean Girls quotes paints you a marvelous character in my book, so there you go - you're marvelous.
ANYHOW.
Yes, James Potter; the lycan. Scandalous! And what WILL Becky's mother think? So many questions, so little time.
Thanks for saying it's unique, though, because I've definitely not read anything like it yet and I've no idea how people'll respond. The beginning also isn't too classic, so we'll see.
Thanks for the review, lovely, you're so nice! x


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Review #25, by newgenerationloverHis What?!: Memories

2nd September 2014:
Hello there! Interesting start you got here! I've never read a story before about one of ol' Voldy's offspring but this one sure has sparked my interest. Just wanted to put it out there that I think you are a very good writer from what little I have seen from you. You change up sentence structure enough to not get the read monotonous and you seem to have created a pretty good bunch of character. The only little CC I have is to think a little deeper into Artemis' situation. First of all, living with the Dark Lord I doubt anyone would get away with wearing sweats, not only because they are so casual but because they are muggle clothing as well. Also, you have done a pretty good job at showing her father's coldness, especially at the end of this chapter, but there are moments where he seems a bit to fatherly for Voldy himself. For instance when she told him about Draco calling her his property, if you want to go with the pureblood old ways line like I think you are a bit, you could say something like: He raised his brow. "You are a girl, are you not?" Artemis nods. "Therefore you had no right to speak back to him." Artemis hangs her head, cheeks burning red, anger bubbling inside of her. "You are my daughter, which makes you above many, but it does not give you the right to talk back to a pureblood man, do you hear me girl?" he says, rising from his chair, anger palpitating off him. Artemis does all she can to not quake in fear. It is not an easy task to stand in front of an angry Dark Lord.

Ok, wow, sorry, I went really into that. Anyway, just think a little bit more about the situation she is in and go off that. Other than that, I think this story has a lot of promise and I will be looking out for an update, just try to get some longer chapters in here :P

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love reviews such as this! Have you ever thought about acting as a Beta, if so I call dibs.

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