Reading Reviews From Member: RavenclawGirl11
  
72 Reviews Found

Review #1, by RavenclawGirl11Stranger Things: Eavesdropping and Bygones

6th August 2013:
I really liked this chapter, it has humour and was the right length. However, maybe the paragraphs shorter. Everything else is perfect
~ Macy ;P
14654587464/10

Author's Response: Thank you again. This one is like a little peek into what Charlotte's life is like without the Marauders' interference.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #2, by RavenclawGirl11Stranger Things: The Benign Probability

6th August 2013:
The whole Rainbow paint thing made me laugh. You are a really talented writer, but maybe you could make the POV's a bit longer? So we could get a better personality thingy
~ Macy ;p

Author's Response: Thank you again. I thought it could use some comic relief between Charlotte's ramblings. Also, Sirius isn't one who automatically forgives and forgets. I'll work on that for the future chapters, and thanks for the review!

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Review #3, by RavenclawGirl11Stranger Things: Investigations

6th August 2013:
OMG Lily/James/Sirius/Charlotte dialouge! Maybe include some detail about the characters appearence but everything else is perfect. And BTW I LOVE Charlotte's personality, but sort of confused by her Mum. You said before that she couldn't die, but where is she now?
~ Macy ;P
11/10

Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. She can't die, but she is, alas, still an inferius. I don't actually know where Voldemort keeps them, but that's where she is.

I'm so happy to hear you like it!


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Review #4, by RavenclawGirl11Smile: Smile

6th August 2013:
This is such a cute One-Shot, and made me Smile. One thing, in the first paragraph it says, "Over the course of seven years, he'd asked her out constantly," but another paragraph in it says, "The first time that James had asked Lily out was around in third year" so it doesn't quite make sense.

Also, It would light it up if you have a chapter image

But other than that, this One-Shot is Perfect!

∞/10
~ Macy ;P

Author's Response: Hey there again!

Well I'm glad that it made you SMILE (no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to make that pun work).

Gosh darn it, that made sense when I read through it but I gotta look through it again just to make sure. Thanks for pointing it out though, I don't think I would've seen it otherwise.

I used to get one-shots for my stories but then they just took up too much time so I stopped getting them.

Thanks for reviewing (and that infinity sign, I like it :D)


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Review #5, by RavenclawGirl11Stranger Things: Hide & Seek

6th August 2013:
Okay, I'm True_Ravenclaw from over on the forums. I am SO going to continue reading this, because I think I'm in love with your story.

Charlotte personality and your plot is unique, and I'm suprised that you don't have more reviews. ONE thing, there is a formatting issue between the flashback and P. day, its a bit stretched :/

But, I'm interested about Lily and Charlotte's relationship: why did they stop talking? Maybe it'll be explained in the next chapters. Look out for my next review,
~ Macy ;P

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and you will definitely see more into her personality in the next chapter. You may not like her as much, but she is definitely unique. I'll check out the formatting!

They aren't completely disjointed, but they aren't best friends as you'll see.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and I hope other's do as much as you did!

Hope to hear more soon


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Review #6, by RavenclawGirl11Crossing the Borderline: Aaliyah: The Meeting

6th August 2013:
Okay hi... I'm True_Ravenclaw from over on the forums. Okay first of all, I can tell STRAIGHT away you are American. "Mom" is the American spelling, "Mum" is the British version.

Also, you spelt Mcgonagal wrong somewhere, and some points you need to work on your punctation. Maybe include some description?

But, on to the good stuff.

This is a good opening chapter, and leaves me wanting to read on. I think you have a really good plot and could take this to the next level, but, like I said add some description as I was VERY confused
Sorry for such a negative review,
~ Macy ;P

Author's Response:
Hello! My beta and I probably missed 'Mom' and 'McGonagall.' Sometimes being American fixing my Americanisms can be hard. Thanks for pointing it out. Description will slowly be added in. I'm sorry that it was so confusing.

Thanks for the review.
~Sama


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Review #7, by RavenclawGirl11A Series of Unfortunate Pranks: April Fools

6th August 2013:
This made me laugh so much! It was interesting to see the King of Pranks owned by a goody-two-shoes! I think you did third person really well, and I think this was really well structed.

My favourite line is,"To be fair, Lily did warn him." Which I think is a really well done ending. You can do no wrong, I'm jealous!

~ Macy ;P

Author's Response: I'm glad to hear that it made you laugh! It was supposed to! I've always had a theory that a goody-two-shoes isn't as much of a goody-goody as everyone thinks, they're just smart enough to get caught. Plus, Lily Evans was one of the smartest witches in her year.

Heh heh, oh stop, you're flattering me! Now I can't stop smiling, thank yous so much!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #8, by RavenclawGirl11Pariah: In Thy Father's Eyes

1st August 2013:
Okay, so I really liked this chapter and think It has loads of protential!
~ Macy ;P
9/10

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Review #9, by RavenclawGirl11Ticking: Where It All Started

31st July 2013:
Hello Poppskins! So, this chapter was really good and I'm surprised no ones left you any reviews. But keep up the good work, and the reviews will flood it!
~ Macy x

Author's Response: yh sad face :(. but im still having trouble with chap 3. do you think she should become pregnant?

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Review #10, by RavenclawGirl11Brutal Love: Charms and Quidditch

28th July 2013:
So okay, I haven't actually read this chapter but will do it later. Do you have a forum penname? If so, please add your name on the review thingy. If not, please include your email or something I can send you the editted chapters
~ Macy x

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Review #11, by RavenclawGirl11Brutal Love: Christmas

25th July 2013:
This has to be my favourite chapter, although I was a bit confused and shocked when Scorpius proposes, it sort of didn't explain it fully.
But good chapter!
~ Macy x

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Review #12, by RavenclawGirl11Brutal Love: Quidditch

25th July 2013:
Certain points in this made me laugh, but again I think you should work on your sentence flow.
~ Macy x

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Review #13, by RavenclawGirl11Brutal Love: Triangle

25th July 2013:
So hello, I was thinking, do you have a Beta reader? Just because the sentences are a bit. sharp(?) sometimes. If you don't, I am offering myself, if you would want a Beta.
~ Macy x

Author's Response: I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO MESSAGE YOU BUT YES, I WOULD LOVE A BETA READER!!! Brutal Love is my first fic, I think my other one (Saving My Life) is MUCH better but this one does need work, I want it to feel more real, and obviously where there are massive gaps ordinary stuff can happen like chatting to friends, but I have no idea how to write it haha.

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Review #14, by RavenclawGirl11Brutal Love: Charlie

25th July 2013:
So hi again! You must be fed up of me reviewing! I'm not going to say much, as I want to read the next chapter. However, please, please, PLEASE include some description, of Scorpius, of Charlie, of Greyback's son , SOMEBODY!
Sorry for the OTT,
~ MAcy x

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Review #15, by RavenclawGirl11Brutal Love: Scorpius Malfoy, Get Out Of My Head

25th July 2013:
So.. Loved this chapter even more. It was interesting to get Emily's POV. Have you thought of getting a banner to go with your story? They increase viewings and are pretty to look at. You can get them at the-dark-arts(.net) the site that is connected to HPFF. If you don't know how, I would be happy to make a request for you, if you just tell me what you want on it.

On to the chapter, I like the lenght of it, however I think you skip over things to quickly. Like, you have a sentence or two for a subject. If you go into greater detail, say, for instance, she can't stop thinking about Charlie and Scorpius in a lesson and cant consentrate, it would be even more amazing
~ Macy x

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Review #16, by RavenclawGirl11Brutal Love: Prologue

25th July 2013:
Hello! I stumbled across this and just had to read it! I think you had a really good start, however this line, "Oh crap, she was coming back and she looked madder than I'd ever seen her. She slapped me straight round the face, hard. It stung." is a bit. dodgy? If you had instead, "I instantly regretted it, and when she turn around, I knew she regretted ever meeting me. The look in her eyes, she was angry, no furious at me, and so was I. She slapped me round the face, with a force to rival Dumbledore's. It hurt like hell, and left a handprint." Other than that, It was AMAZING!
~ Macy x

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Review #17, by RavenclawGirl11Grizzled: Grizzled

24th July 2013:
Sorry, but this made me cry. It was so powerful, I'd never thought of Fleur and Bill like this, I'd always them to be young and beautiful always. You are a very talented writer, and hope that In the future you do some more material like this.
~ Macy x

Author's Response: Hi! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story, though I'm sorry if it made you cry! I loved writing it, and knowing it touched you as a reader is such wonderful feedback to receive. I definitely have many more emotional pieces up my sleeve! :) Thank you so much for the lovely review!

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Review #18, by RavenclawGirl11Brown Eyes and Destructive Secrets.: Chapter 1 - Prologue

17th July 2013:
Hello! I was looking through werewolf stories and stumbled across this! The real reason I went onto your story is because I too have a Greyback daughter story,however mine is a NextGen.

On to the chapter, I liked it, however the last sentence "My whole body shook. I had finally discovered the truth. My father, Fenrir Greyback, was a coldblooded murder. I was the daughter of a savage. Oh crap!" Is a bit. change of character. She's upset, and then its like Oh crap,maybe instead try to say how she feels about it. Also a 6 year old wouldn't swear.
But other than that E X C E L L E N T chapter!
~ Macyx

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Also, I'm glad you've left some criticism about thins chapter. I'm always looking to improve my writing, and was never fully happy with the prologue - It's difficult writing as a 6 year old! Anyway, I will definitely try and edit this chapter so that it makes more sense.
Other than that, I'm so glad you liked the chapter!
Love, Jess x
PS. I will certainly be taking a look at your story! :)


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Review #19, by RavenclawGirl11Beauty Explosion: Welcome to a whole new life

16th July 2013:
So hello Katie! You can get a banner at the dark arts (.net) if you would like I could make a request for you and you could tell me what you want on it. Then I could send you the link to put on your banner bit.!
~ Macy x

Author's Response: Omg that would be great thank you, I tried to figure out how to work the dark arts thing and I couldn't get the hang of it! On my banner I'd like a model who fits the description of my main character, like blonde hair, blue eyes, could pass for a teenager, I'm giving free will when it comes to who this could be as I have no idea! I'd like the main focus to be on her with possibly like pink/purple/neon explosions happening in the background and the words Beauty Explosion appearing on the banner. Those are my main requirements that I can think of, I basically want it fun and girly and just eyecatching! Thank you -Katie x

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Review #20, by RavenclawGirl11Ticking: Before The Beginning

16th July 2013:
So. Poppskins, good first chapter however, you need to work on your SPELLING *tut tut tut* if you spell check on word it would be easier to read. But anyhow, I liked this chapter it was just the right length and gave enough detail to leave you wanting more. Because of the banner thing, if you tell me what you want on it, the names of who you want ill make a request on it. But good job poppskins ;P
~ Macy x

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Review #21, by RavenclawGirl11The Worst: Dreading The Worst

14th May 2013:
Hi, you asked me to review and I am! I live the beginning of this, and agree with you it is a filler chapter, however it is an interesting filler chapter, full of description.

*Ollivader voice* we can expect great things from you, I am sure

~ Macy

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing! I am glad you found this interesting. Haha thanks!

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Review #22, by RavenclawGirl11Complicated: Complication #1

12th May 2013:
Hello! You asked me to give you a review and I am! I think your characterization is incredible: Abigail puts on a show for everyone else, but inside she is insecure.

I am interested to where you are going to take this story, and are very intrigued, so I will be waiting for the next chapter. I think you are a good author and will be investigating more of your work

~ Macy x

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing so quickly!

I'm glad you like Abigail's character, and I'll definitely be playing on those different sides of her as the story progresses. :)

I love that you liked this! Thanks again for the review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #23, by RavenclawGirl11Blend in to Stick Out: Chapter One

11th May 2013:
Hello! You asked for a review, so here it is! This is an un-usual plot line, however I think is a great one. Personally, I'd go back and explain it better, maybe Ana looks in the mirror, sees her Mum in her face and turns away in disgust. That would be a good opener, and could include about her arm then. Also, how old is Ana? Was she conceived before or after the war? Is LeStrange her father? Or is it Lord Voldemort?

But overall, really good chapter cant wait to see what you are going to do with this story

~ Macy

Author's Response: Thank you SOO much for the compliments, they made my day. I LOVE your opener idea, and I'm going to experiment a bit with it. It's also a PERFECT way to put Ana's hand problem in.

I was originally going to have Ana in second year, but now I think I want her to be about 10 1/2 so she can be sorted later in the story.

I'm not quite sure who her dad is going to be and I'm still thinking through that detail. But for Right now, I'm going to go with Lestrange, because I don't think Voldemort would have a child while he is hunting down Harry. One, he has other things on his mind, Two, he might be paranoid that his child would over through him, or something like that.

Thanks for everything!
-Krissy


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Review #24, by RavenclawGirl11Saved: Chapter One

11th May 2013:
Hello! You asked me to read and review and I am! I like the start of this story, but feel it is a bit short on detail and description. Also, it doesn't seem as if Adaila has a personality, maybe you could extend on that?


Other than that, I enjoyed reading it and cant wait until the next chapter

~ Macy x

Author's Response: It's the first chapter so I wanted to get gerneal things out, just get part of the idea out. Thank for reviewing!

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Review #25, by RavenclawGirl11A Minor Setback: Chapter of the First

11th May 2013:
I like this chapter and think this could be a good start to a fantastic story. I think you could work on the length of your paragraphs, and add a bit more detail but apart from that I like the story and once you add another chapter I will definatley read it

~ Macy

Author's Response: I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed it and thank you! I hope to write this as best as I can and make people laugh on the way!

Description has always and will always be my worst enemy. Anyway, thank you so much for reviewing and I'll let you know when the next chapter is up!


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