Reading Reviews From Member: hpsauce
  
28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by hpsauceAnother One Bites the Dust: Are You Satisfied?

13th February 2013:
I liked how you put in a negative view on the Weasley's as they always seem to be shown in a positive light. I could feel the anger of the character throughout the whole piece and then that little bit of relief at the end. You portrayed the character's feelings well in this piece and the lyrics fit well :D
I should be posting the results to my challenge soon as I only have a few to read and review now. Thanks for entering :D
Sophie x

Author's Response: Thanks for the awesome review! Can't wait to see who won (if you haven't posted the results yet).
~cb ")


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Review #2, by hpsauceThe Passersby: The Passersby

13th February 2013:
I like how you've gone for looking at Snape's afterlife and how he almost had to clear things up with Harry before he went into the afterlife. I loved your description of the mist in the beginning and how the piece progressed slowly and didn't reveal everything at once.
Just a few grammatical errors:
Where you've written 'might of' in the second paragraph, it should be 'might have'.
Also, you have misspelled traveller as 'traveler' and the same with travelled.
Aside from them minor grammar issues, it was a great piece that really showed an insight into the character.
The results should be posted for my challenge soon as I only have a few more pieces to read and review. Thanks for entering :D
Sophie x

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Review #3, by hpsauceTo Remain A Memory: Why you?

27th January 2013:
George's feelings of loss were well displayed in this piece; his thoughts were well presented and written. I could understand George's thought process and could easily sympathise with the character.
A few errors:
'He know he was slowly losing himself' should be 'He knew'
'For awhile he had hated his brother' should be 'For a while, he had...'
'opr the memories of anyone' 'opr' should be 'or'
Aside from that, a good piece of work there :)
Thanks for entering my challenge :) I will get the results out asap on the hall of fame feed. They will probably be up in January, but no later than mid-February.
Sophie

Author's Response: Yeah I was going to go re edit the story once I got my chapter image for it. I wrote it a bit hastily and probably should've went over the spelling 1st before submitting it.

I thank you for presenting the challenge. And soon as I saw it, this story immediately popped into my head and I wrote it. I've never had inspiration that fast or strong.

I can't wait to see the results and thanks for reviewing as well =]


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Review #4, by hpsauceThe Gardener: The Gardener

27th January 2013:
The insight into Hermione was very deep and I liked how you connected it to her feelings for Ron. You made her seem very out of place and alienated almost in the first part and then gave her that kind of connection with Audrey that I didn't really expect.
A few errors:
'Thankfully, her rainbow-dyed hair did keep her talking about mildly interesting charms every now and the.' you just need to make 'the' into 'then'.
'The two sat in silence in the silence of stacks of parchment perfuming the air.' I would get rid of one of the 'in (the) silence's or put a comma between the two.
Overall, a lovely piece :)
Thanks for entering Annie :D I will get the results out asap :)
Sophie

Author's Response: Thank you so much for leaving such an awesome review! Eek, thanks for pointing out the errors! *scurries off to fix them* I think the war did very curious things to Hermione, so she's very much out of her comfort zone here and really different from the Hermione I normally think of, so it was a really interesting story to write. Thanks so much for your review! :)

Annie


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Review #5, by hpsauceThe Spectrum of Joy: The Spectrum of Joy

27th January 2013:
I love the descriptions in this. The metaphors create beautiful images that make it clear that you are VERY good at descriptive writing.
I can easily tell the character's feelings and follow him along until the final lines.
A few little errors:
'Content to reflect the ight' I think it should be 'light'.
'Words like whimsy and effervescent' I think you don't need the 'like' as I don't think it makes sense with it in there.
Other than that, a beautiful piece that flows really well.
Thanks for entering my challenge :D Results should be up, at the latest, mid-February.
Sophie

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you liked it :D I will definitely fix those errors asap.
Also, thank you for the awesome challenge, it really inspired me!
~Gill


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Review #6, by hpsauceMoments of Impact: Prologue

27th January 2013:
It's a very insightful prologue that sets us up for something more from this character. It's short but effective in my opinion and hits the nail on the head for opening up this piece.
I liked how you didn't reveal who the character was until the very last paragraph as it helped to keep the reader wondering who this was who has this burden upon him.
The emotions that you gave this character were very real and well described.
A great piece in my opinion.
Thanks for entering my challenge by the way :D I will make sure I get the results out asap and have said to others that they will be no later than about mid February. I'm sorry for the delay, it's just that i had important science exams and have only just gotten round to reviewing most of the entries.
Thanks again :D
Sophie

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Review #7, by hpsauceYou : You

30th December 2012:
I loved the repetition that ran throughout this, it really added to the emotion of the character. It helped me to feel what Dom was feeling as she told her tale of heartbreak.
The abrupt change in mood worked really well and makes you feel how Dom's heart was shattered when she discovered Lysander cheating on her.
The emotion is what made this piece so strong and many people can empathise with Dom and what she's gone through.
Thanks for entering my challenge :D sorry for the late review!
hpsauce

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Review #8, by hpsaucedirty little secret.: ...

30th December 2012:
I like the progression of the story and found that the short segments patched together work really well together. The little nuggets of detail you gave in each little part of the piece leave us wondering what will happen next and the lack of detail works well.
The piece flows really well and I didn't think that it seemed staggered at all as each section led smoothly into the next.
Thanks for entering my challenge :D and sorry that I didn't review when I said I would
hpsauce

Author's Response: Thank you! It's okay, I understand that you had a lot of other entries to review and/or real life can get in the way. :)

Thanks for the review, glad you liked the story! :)


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Review #9, by hpsauceDifferent: Awkward Meeting

4th December 2012:
I like laney. She's more of a tomboy which gives her more of a flare as a character. I think I'm going to get along with her very well as a character.
I liked this first chapter and look forward to see what happens to laney in the future...
Sophie :D

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Review #10, by hpsauce12 Fail Safe Ways to Charm Witches: The Revised Edition: What Gifts to Get Her

1st December 2012:
That chapter was just bangin' :D I'm really enjoying the story so far and am looking forward to the next chapter. A few chapters ago, I was feeling sorry for Al, but now I feel sorry for Taylor and I just hope they end up together in the end!!! I seriously thought at the end there everything would fall into place with them but no, it never works out that way does it.
Sophie :D

Author's Response: Thanks for such a bangin' review, I'll try and update soon! Remember: the story's not over yet!

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Review #11, by hpsauceThe Final Countdown: The One with the Last Midnight Talk

28th November 2012:
I think Megan is my long lost twin :D I love her already!!! I can really relate to her on many levels and love her character. I'm looking forward to reading more of this story as I feel that this is going to be one of my favourites :D
Sophie

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Review #12, by hpsauceNo Ordinary Nutter: Of Nutters and the Choosing of the Champions

25th November 2012:
Oh poo. Stupid James should've checked the parchment.
I'm loving this story so far. You're really funny with some of the things you write :D I like the story line too and am looking forward to the next chapter :D
Sophie

Author's Response: thanks sophie (: james is a bit of a poo, but, in a way, aren't we all?
yeah i don't know where that came from.
thanks for the review, new chapters already in the queue !


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Review #13, by hpsauceHurricane Eyes: One of a Kind

25th October 2012:
A tear actually came out of my eye at the end of this and I just really felt for Lysander.
I'm not a twin myself, but I feel how he always feels he is in his brother's shadow and always second best, always ignored.
I liked that he had a little moment with lily at the end and that maybe he's not always second best with everything and the hope that that little action gives us that he won't always come second to his brother.
A truly moving piece that made me just want to give Lysander a big fat hug and tell him he's awesome too :')
I'll get back to you about placings in my challenge just after New Year.
Thanks for writing and entering my first ever challenge :D
hpsauce

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad that you enjoyed this oneshot and while I'm sorry that it made you cry, I'm very happy that it affected you so much! I'm not a twin either but I can imagine that it's hard - in certain cases, that is. As we see with Fred and George, they can be incredibly close.
And that's exactly what I was hoping to portray at the end when Lily smiled at him; he's not really second best in anyone's eyes but his own.
And I'm sure that he'd appreciate a hug :)
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Great and fun challenge! :)

~Jess :D


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Review #14, by hpsauceWhere I End and You Begin: the gloaming.

25th October 2012:
I really feel Snape in this. I feel like I understand his point of view that little bit more now. I love this, it flows so well and seems angry but thoughtful at the same time. I love the way it's written and how descriptive you've been whilst also letting it have a little bit of plot structure at the same time.
I'll get back to you about placings in my challenge just after New Year.
Thanks for writing and entering my first ever challenge :D
hpsauce

Author's Response: Hey there!
I love writing character studies, especially (weirdly) of characters that I personally find unlikeable, so I'm really glad you're feeling my Snape. Plus that and I was bored in Maths class.
Thank you for your wonderful review, and I hope your challenge goes well. :D


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Review #15, by hpsauceMy First Kiss When a Little Like This: Fourteen isn't too young to learn how to kiss, is it?

25th October 2012:
That's so sweet. I like the way it pans out in the end and just how it is.
I think, obviously if you have time, it'll be nice f you could turn it into something more maybe... :D
Thanks for writing
hpsauce

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! Haha. I'm glad it was well recieved, and I might make it into a short series of one-shots or a small novella :)

MrsRonaldWeasley262


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Review #16, by hpsauceSaving Grace: March 5th - March 12th

20th October 2012:
Yay! Grace is finally getting back on her feet and trying to sort out her problems :D I hope she does get with James in the end, I think they'd be good for eachother.
Good luck in finishing this by the end of 2012 by the way, it'll be sad to see the end but I'm looking forward to it :D
Thanks for writing this
hpsauce

Author's Response: YES SHE'S GETTING BACK ON HER FEET!

And yup, it was all finished but for one scene by the end of 2012! Although not up for a bit longer than that so I'm really chuffed about that. And thanks for this lovely review :)
-AC


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Review #17, by hpsauceShe Wore a Scarlet Ribbon: She Wore a Scarlet Ribbon

14th October 2012:
I loved that!!! It was so heartfelt and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :) It was written beautifully as well.
hpsauce

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Review #18, by hpsauceA Woman's Guide to Professional Quidditch: More than Just Quidditch

5th October 2012:
AARGHHH!!! I am now left in a semi-state of suspense!!! I want to know what happens in the quidditch match but I'm happy you didn't leave the Barry thing hanging. I feel so sorry for him but kind of think it's his own fault at the same time. I don't blame Scott for punching him though.
James is seeming a bit too over protective for a 'fake' boyfriend...maybe it's not so fake after all... :)
Thanks for another great chapter, I'm loving the plot for this so far :D
hpsauce

Author's Response: I like me some suspense! I can't help it. It's addiction. It makes you come back when you see the next chapter is up ;).

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Review #19, by hpsauceA Cliché of Epic Proportions: Welcome Back

26th September 2012:
:L That made me laugh a LOT. Just the little things about 'the author being too lazy to say where she came from' and the fact that everyone is too stupid to figure out the Volminia is a vampire. It's just how stupid everyone is, that's what makes this hilarious :P
Thanks for making me laugh with this and try to continue please :)
hpsauce

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Review #20, by hpsauceAlone With You: Alone With You

26th September 2012:
I personally would have never thought of it that way round but I think it really works.
I feel so sorry for Draco and wish Hermione would just give the flaming bloke a chance instead of just using him!
*sigh* but life's never perfect and Draco can definitely see that
Thanks for writing this :)
hpsauce

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Review #21, by hpsauceA Disastrous Delectation: Forbidden

26th September 2012:
I was internally thinking at that last part 'Just turn the hell around and kiss the girl Malfoy!' but it was not meant to be *sigh*
Great tension building though. I was on the edge of my seat wanting to know what Draco would do in the end.
Thanks for writing this :)
hpsauce

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Review #22, by hpsauceOne Word: One Word

26th September 2012:
Poor Hermione :( I could feel how betrayed she felt and how she wanted to forgive Draco but couldn't. I wish it could have been a happy ending for them but I understand Hermione's reasons and why she did it. It was a short and sweet piece that made me feel for the characters
Thanks for writing this :)
hpsauce

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Review #23, by hpsauceBegging On Your Knees: Transformations, Explainations, and Confusion

26th September 2012:
I haven't read your version on your other account but I have a feeling I'm going to love this story...
I love Sofia's plot to get revenge and think Albus definitely deserves what's coming...Mwahahaha!
Continue please and I hope Sofia gets revenge on Albus for all he's done to the other girls :)
hpsauce

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Review #24, by hpsauceHow To Win Over A Witch: Rule #1-Compliment Her

26th September 2012:
I like the fact that it's a kind of 'how to' guide (that James kind of fails on making happen) it adds to the humour of it :P
I hope Nina does go for James :) Pretty please make that happen in the end. However, what Elle says at the end makes me think that might already be happening ;)
Continue please
hpsauce

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Review #25, by hpsauceBeing the Other Woman: Class Reunion

19th September 2012:
Well...that was awkward...but a great first chapter all the same!!! I can't wait to see which way you take things with Vi and James :)

Author's Response: I'm very good with awkward. I do awkward well.

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