Dhkdjjdbdmdkddy! Always get so excited when this story is updated, and I wasn't disappointed :D I don't even really know what to say, I just overall really enjoyed it. Again, just a tinsy bit predictable that she would end up in James's bed! But oh well, I did find it funny when Halle was getting her memory back!
Looking forward to the next update :D
P.s Chocolate + Dr Who = one of THE best combinations ever.Author's Response: AHAHA THANKS FOR THE REVIEW LOVELY :D i know, i am slightly predictable but its so much fun writing cliches :) i promise to update soon :D
add tea to the combination and you've got the best sunday ever :D Report Review
Hmmm. Interesting. Actually have mixed feelings about this chapter. Don't get me wrong, I understood the 'James's crazy spiral out of control' idea, but at the beginning it just seemed to me like he was on drugs or something haha I think maybe it might have been lacking a bit of pure anger in there, like getting him to smash something up! I don't really know, maybe I just didn't pick up on the depressed undertones of the craziness in quite the way you probably intended. Although, it was touching to see Albus's and Ellie's reactions in particular, and I liked the idea of Leo and James having a heart to heart. Harry's cameo maybe could've had more impact too, but I did like Leo's pang of jealousy...that was a nice touch of reality. The Remus part was also good to read!
Lily blurting out that she knows Ellie's a werewolf is sure to be interesting! I have liked Lily for a while now, and hopefully she'll push Jellie together ;)
Anyways, don't let any of my minor criticisms get you down. I'm still reading, and the fact that I'm so emotionally attached to your characters in the first place is a credit to you writing :)Author's Response: Hello harrietm!
Actually...funny story: I originally had him get drunk, but then I thought, "Nah...I don't really want to have James do that. He's like seventeen years old." So, this is an adaptation of that former idea of mine. Great, he should have smashed something! What am I doing with my life?! I'll have him smash something coming on up, I promise!
Harry's cameo? Ha, that made me laugh :P I figured I need to add in Harry or Ginny, because it would have been suspicious, not seeing them at all during the winter break, heh. My lazy writing just comes out, doesn't it?
Someone's gotta push Jellie together. Those kids have just been frustrating everyone, haven't they? We shall see! I don't even know yet, because I'm still working the next chapter out :D
Oh...you're fine with the criticisms. There's always room for improvement, especially here. There's like a whole house that could be improved in this story (that didn't make sense...)
Thank you for this wonderful review! Report Review
Hello again!! I am in some serious need of conflict resolutoon haha Although I can see how you're setting things up...so excited for the next chapter! Literally fistpumped for Leo, such a kickass moment, and so necessary. And Scorpius, freaking adorable. I can't say I did expect James to get so sad at losing Rachelle, but it does make sense, I mean, he was practically using her as a shield from the pain. But I really hope he gets happy soon :(
Just a few typos in some of the dialogue that I picked up:
- corned instead of cornered
- something big must've happen
- rachelle says fallen apart but james says falling apart
That was all I noticed though so good job again :)Author's Response: I should really re-read through these things before I put them up, luckily I have you to catch my mistakes :P
Oh...the next chapter won't resolve anything :/, but it will happen :D
I know, right?! He's such a bad A!
I completely agree, it was unexpected, but realistic :) those were my intentions, of course.
Sad James is really awful to write, so you can expect him to be happy soon :) Report Review
Nawww, a filler but a cute filler. The whole theme of "what is love?", very nice!
Speaking of love, loved the book analysis, how symbolic and deep of you ;) And there's still hope for Jellie! (or at least I like to think there is!) A small criticism, you sometimes use language that's very similar very close together...eg"wince at my stupid answer" and "wince at my stupid response"...just watch it cos it is repetitive and not as smooth to read as it could be :)
Also it will be interesting to see what happens with Leo...hmmm.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next chapter, keep it up :DAuthor's Response: Hello there!
So...yeah...I wrote this chapter in a couple of hours (don't tell anyone), because I wanted to get something in while I battled with the next chapter :/. I know, I should have just worked out the blasted thing and put it up when I figured it out, but I didn't...
Er, right so...the books are favourites of mine :P they happen to be on my desk right now, so I tweaked them into the story. Jellie is slowly progressing, eh? I'm hoping the plot isn't too slow :/
I think Leo's conclusion will be the most surprising for readers to read. I'm so excited for you to read it! ;D (I'm giggling like a two year old right now) Report Review
Whoa whoa whoa! I knew Al would be pissed but I didn't anticipate his violent reaction!! The was an enjoyable chapter, as was the last one, idk why you think the last one was bad :) It fact, although this chapter was more dramatic, I probably enjoyed it less than the last one because the idea of the party was a bit...cliche? But that's just me, reading too many fanfics for my own good :P
That said I still thoroughly enjoyed intro of this chapter (just tickled my funny bone), the kiss (AGJDBDNDKDGTYFFY!) and the mystery of the box has me very intrigued! :)
Keep it up; update, update, update :D
(from the person who is currently not updating haha)Author's Response: aww, THANKYOU :D tickled your funnybone. i endevaour to tickle everyones funnybone so that was a rewarding compliment.
and it was absolutley cliche, but hey, they're cliches for a reason right? (yeah...that didnt make sense)
DA BOX? THE BOX? THE BALL? MYSTERRRYYY
i shall update soon (: (YESSHH, YOU MUST UPDATE TOO, NON-UPDATING CHILD)
penguin. Report Review
This is my favourite chapter by far!!! Jellie overload :D I shall may a list to keep this review as concise and non-waffly as possible:
1. "so I still have money to invest in my future." haha screw you Rachelle!
2. James new career idea, omg, so ideal ;)
3.Scorpius you genius!
4. Make-up confusion, James, I feel you bro.
5. THAT KISS
6. James sticking up for werewolves - Ellie, hurry up and work out he's perfect!
7. Ellie smiling adorably was adorable
The end! Enjoy! (as I clearly enjoyed this chapter) :DAuthor's Response: Ohmygorilla! Best.review.ever!
I shall also respond in a concise manner to stay somewhat articulate :P
1. Iknowright?! I didn't think anyone would pick up on that. You, my dear, are the ideal reader.
2. He's certainly figuring out what he wants to do, and he'll be surrounded by werewolves whether Ellie takes him or not.
3. Scorpius is a boss! Although, we do have to give Albus some credit too...nah.
4. Geez, don't even get me started on make-up. For all I know, girls stand in front of the mirror and stare at it until the mirror fairy comes and grants them their make-up wish.
5. Ha, yes...*blushes*
6. Indeed! I agree wholeheartedly.
7. Definitely, and it threw ole' Leo off, didn't it? Poor kid, probably thinks she's insane.
Yay! Thank you :D
soapman333 Report Review
Oooo I don't like Anthony haha But then it is kinda nice that Leo's showing a more mature side. Scorp's second secret mission! Hooray! Hope it's more successful than the last ;)
Small typo near the end though I've just noticed, should be Charlotte at a 'loss' for words not 'lose' :)
But otherwise...you know I love this story :DAuthor's Response: Ha, hello again :D
Ha, Anthony. I've got a soft spot for the bloke, but that's probably because I created him. Eh, mature-ish. He'll grow up a lot more soon enough. Heh, I've got an even softer spot for Scorp and his silly antics.
Oh dear! Thanks for noticing that typo for me :P I'll go fix it now.
soapman333 Report Review
Oh my fudging gobstones!! Jellie! I do love/hate you!! They kissed but but but no happy ending yet! Although I did know it wouldn't be simple...but poor James! The end of this chapter was just so dramatic! Can't write any more because I'm that eager to read the next chapter hahaAuthor's Response: Oh geez, this chapter was so hard for me to write...I want my characters to be happy :/
They shall be soon, though. I hope the next few chapters are to your liking :D
Thanks for your wonderful feedback :)
soapman333 Report Review
Oooo I quite liked the cliffy haha! This whole chapter was rather enjoyable and worth the wait, although I'm still seriously shipping Jellie, want them to hurry up and get together :PAuthor's Response: Jellie.Jellie.Jellie. That's the funniest pairing name ever! I'm totally stealing it (I'll credit it to you, of course)!
soapman333 Report Review
Another great chapter!!! I can't help but be anti-Teddy though, what a dog act staying engaged to someone when his heart doesn't seem to be in it...so I'm shipping Liv and James haha! But the fact that I'm quite emotionally involved is credit to your writing so keep it up and I look forward to the next update :) Report Review
I just found this story and I'm really enjoying it so far :) I love the characters and the plotlines, they have me hooked. The only criticism I would say is that sometimes your dialogue is a bit unclear, as in I can't tell who said it. You type something in speech marks eg. "Okay I'll give her time if that's what it takes"I nodded - now when I read that it seemed like Liv said it as she was nodding, but I read it again and I know it's Scorpius. Maybe it's just me, but a few well placed hits of the enter key wouldn't go astray :) But overall, fantastic work, and I look forward to the next update :DAuthor's Response: I'm glad you're liking it! Aww thank you, that's made me smile. It's always nice to hear. Ah, i had noticed that just before you pointed it out so i've been going through and editing it all so hopefully that should be sorted in the next day or two. But thank you so much, the next chapter should be up within the day, i hope you continue to keep on reading!
Vicki :) Report Review
Hahaha James is hilarious! And Scorpius is so adorable :3 And Leo so nice and comforting. And Ellie's back! But still not going to date James any time soon :( Hopefully something will change her mind.
Loved this chapter :D The ending was good too! "to face a simpler world" I liked that bit a lot, it was very elegant.Author's Response: Why thank you! I'm glad you're responding well to my characters :D Nah, I don't think she'd be very happy if she tried to date him now, she's got some insecurities to overcome. I liked the ending too ;).
Thanks again for your wonderful feedback,
soapman333 Report Review
I've been reading this story recently and I'm really enjoying it :) I love the changing viewpoints and all the characters have me somewhat emotionally attached haha
I liked this chapter, it was cute the way Albus knew what Scorpius was going to say. And Charlotte was also pretty cute in her way.
The only thing was the end of the chapter could've maybe been more dramatic if you ended with Leo's more worried pov, a cliffhanger of sorts just to really make people excited for the chapter. Or even just ended with the quote "I need new friends", just to make it cleaner/sharper? Idk.
That said, I'm excited anyway for Ellie's return and more of James :D
Loving it overall, update soon! :)Author's Response: Thank you for your feedback! I will definitely take your advice. I'm glad you like my character development :) The next chapter should be validated later tonight or tomorrow morning.
soapman333 Report Review
Nice little one-shot, Albus is quite cute as an ickle first year! :)
Just a few things I noticed though:
"Hello sweat heart"
Gryffindor not Griffendoor, Lily not Lilly, hippogriff bait not Hypogriff bate.
"Lilly looked shocked and appalled..." section needn't be in italics either.
But overall, I enjoyed reading :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for pointing those out! I must have had a massive brain fart when I wrote and posted this lol Thanks again :) Report Review
I legitimately squealed with glee when I saw this was up!
OH MY FUDGING GOBSTONES THAT WAS BRILLIANT!!!
So original, so emotional, so exciting, so unpredictable, so clever!! The boggarts! Omg omg omg omg!!!
LOVED IT. Author's Response: aww, my favourite reviewer returns :D
im really glad you loved it :) this review just makes me happy. HAPPY I SAY! Report Review
I could write loads of really nice stuff about your fabulous writing but there really isn't enough space so I'll keep it simple.
LOVE THIS STORY.
SCORPIUS + BEA 5EVA.
OVER AND OUT. :)Author's Response: CONCISENESS WORKS!
WILL KEEP WRITING.
♥! Report Review
Hello I get sad when people don't review my story and this is so fabulous I couldn't not tell you what I thought. This story is brilliant because I'm in love with the concept: the flicking between Charlie and Tori. The contrast between the two characters and the continuing mysyery of why Tori's missing and if she'll come back, and the simple way it means there's always little cliffhangers...I just can't help myself, I have to keep reading. The romance issues also have me completely sucked in, they're described really well. So please update soon!! And thanks for creating such a good story, keep it up :)Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for the lovely review! And I'm glad you seem to be enjoying both Charlie's and Tori's points of view!
Courtney:) Report Review
I've just finished reading this story all the way up to where it is...so consider this a mega review for all the chapters thusfare! :) Really enjoying this story! I knew the happiness couldn't last and boy did it all go wrong when it went wrong...but I do actually like that everyone's so flawed, it adds interest and an element of realism. I miss Addie and Albus moments now...either another massive fight or a massive make out session is needed (or both!) haha. My heart just broke when she broke down on the train, and when she fell off her broom, and especially when she made her announcement at the quidditch match to not immediate success (I say immediate in the hope that it may have later success :P). But the fact that you've made them so darn shippable is job well done. I also love a good dose of Scorose, although the virginity storyline was a bit...I don't know, odd. And that's not because I'm a prude. I just thought they would've fought about something different. Also, Addie and Fred...that was plain weird haha! But I see why that happened, poor Fred, so alone :( And as a random sidenote, I liked it when you snuck in song lyrics and a mean girls reference ;) Anyways, overall, many many chapters of awesomeness that have kept me reading and left me wanting more!!! :D So update soon and thanks for creating such a brilliant story :) Report Review
I really enjoyed reading this whole story :) The idea of best friends eventually falling in love is pretty cliched and in a way perhaps the leap from friends to lovers was too seamless in the seventh year chapters...but that makes me really like the imperfect ending. I also really loved your originality of skipping between different time periods, the flashbacks had some of my favourite moments because the description of them was so perfect. And I loved what you did with all the characters - they were all very readable and relateable. Amelia and James really were a fabulous couple...so I'm still Team James as I start reading Sunshine!
Brilliant work, don't stop writing :) Report Review
HE'S ALIVE :D AND HE LOVES HER BUT BUT BUT DRACO? MAN, YOU JUST DECIDED SOMEONE HAD TO DIE DIDN'T YOU? I'M JUST SO ON THE EDGE RIGHT NOW!! MORE PLEASE :)Author's Response: YES TO ALL OF THOSE THINGS! I was in fact feeling bloodthirsty at the time, but Draco's death opens up a lot more possibilities for Scorpius' future c: t'was a much better idea than the one I had before, so I had to off the poor ferret. Report Review
As always, another very enjoyable chapter :)
Your humour is just genius - crazy, but genius. It makes the dialogue and Halle's thoughts super fun to read. I find myself looking forward to the first task, and for when James stops being a manwhore (if that ever happens)! haha Keep it up, I'm quite attached to this story now so I need more :P
p.s Eating a banana right now.NOM NOM NOMAuthor's Response: the great reviewer has returned!
(that's you btw, for you are a great reviewer)
thanks for the lovely review (IT MADE ME BLUSH!) and the next task will be a'coming in two chapters :)
tata, lovely reviewer ! Report Review
Oooo Albus is so jealous! And Halle is so falling for James! This is brilliant! :) The only thing I can say is that it was perhaps a bit strange that if Halle hadn't seen Albus and co. for a long time that there wasn't more of a mention of the twiwizard. But it was still a great chapter and I look forward to the next one :)Author's Response: thanking you in the much variety :) your totally right, i guess i forgot that completely important aspect of the story. whoops. but thanks. next one should be a-coming soon :) Report Review
Yay James/Halle time! Helped by the fact that you've made James sound freakin' hot :D Although my favourite new gen charater of all time is Albus...so I'm interested to see how this will pan out. More please :DAuthor's Response: thankyou! i did try to make him as freakin' hot as possible ;) next chapters a-coming soon, so keep up ze great reviews! Report Review
Yes! I knew it! Can't wait to find out how she reacts now! I really like your writing, you're making me laugh and cringe and everything in between! :)Author's Response: this review actually made my day :) thanks so much for reading and shiz, and your life shall be prosperous as this was a lovely review :) Report Review
Oo I think I see what's coming re. the TT and I'm rather excited! Loving this story and the characters, keep it up :) Report Review
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