Reading Reviews From Member: LilyLou
  
147 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LilyLouUpping The Ante: Live A Little

9th September 2014:
Lo's back! Eek!

That makes one of us ;) This is your first update in forever (unless you've updated another story very recently) and I'm so excited! Ooooh, chapter three.

I would totally dig myself into a story about a made up club like Alexandra did. Then I would try to convince my friends to make the club with me. And her asking if Remus would be interested... Oh that was great. I chuckled at that one!

Alex seems like a touchy subject. I don't know if he likes Alexandra, or if he's just being a protective mate? But he realy doesn't fancy the idea of Alexandra going with Amos.

Them all being excited when Slytherin lost. The cup is theirs! Muahahahaha.

Well, I wouldn't roll out Gryffindor quite yet. As a reader, I'm definitely NOT.

Amos being twenty minutes late was ridiculous, and I would have been sooo mad. Of course, if I was high on the fact that he liked me, like 'Xandra, I suppose I would have let it slide, like she did. And then she just ditched Alex...

Poor Alex.

Ewww Amos is a horrible person. Like terrible and I hate him. He's definitely not as big a deal in this story, I don't think, as the original? I could be wrong, but that's what I'm picking up on.

Sirius. Oh, Sirius. Totally in character.

Wonderful chapter! Can't wait for more!

-Janelle

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Review #2, by LilyLouSeven Times that Sirius Black Experienced the Seven Deadly Sins: Gluttony

6th September 2014:
Hi, here for the Seven Deadly Sins Challenge!

You should be receiving a review from Lo (maraudertimes) soon enough, as soon as she gets round to your entry! But for now, here's mine!

Overall, you portrayed both sins very well. The lust was well described, and you definitely made it lust rather than love or anything like that. It was one hundred percent lust, which is good. I also like how you weaved the lust into James and Lily as well, rather than just focusing it on Marlene and Sirius. It shows that you put thought into the story and gives it more of a professional feel, if you know what I mean. It was very thought out for a short story collection. So well done on the first one!

The second one, Gluttony, was much more fluff and not nearly as serious as the lust, which was a good break for whatever comes next. I love how Dorea scolded him, and you made Gluttony truly seem like a sin, the way she told him to enjoy things, but not overdo it and all that jazz. It was very well written, though short and sweet for the most part.

I feel like a tad more detail could have made this second one a more enjoyable read, though. But other than that, it was fantastic :D

Overall great entry. Thanks for participating! It means a lot!

-Janelle

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Review #3, by LilyLouSlurred Words: Slurred Words

6th September 2014:
Hi, here for the Seven Deadly Sins Challenge!

Wow. I can't even describe to you how well you wrote Pete's wrath, and there was even some envy in there. Do you realize how wonderfully you wrote this? I certainly hope so.

There truly isn't too much to comment on individually, just as a whole. Peter's betrayal was portrayed with perfection, if you ask me. I never could have written this so well. In fact, I've never thought of it like this. You put it together perfectly. And the slight guilt here and there was implied on, which was good.

There are a few grammatical errors here and there, but they didn't distract from the overall outcome.

I also would have liked just a tad more narration, if only to add just a bit more description to the story. The quotations gave the tone, but some more details would have been fabulous.

All around, great one shot. I loved it. Thanks for participating!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Yeah, I could've listed this as a few sins for Peter, but wrath was the big one. I think a lot of them wind up being intertwined in most cases.

Peter fascinates me to write. He was friends with the Marauders for seven years, longer after leaving school. I always felt there had to be something more to push him over the edge other than sheer cowardice, especially how he returns to Voldemort later on. But we have no idea what it could be so I like to guess.

I'll go back and see if I can fix up those grammar issues and add some more description. Sometimes I get so caught up in my head I forget not everyone sees all that I see and I leave out way too much, so that's very helpful to hear.

Thank you so much for the lovely review and awesome challenge! I had a lot of fun writing it. :)


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Review #4, by LilyLouThe Brothers Three: The Pale Steed

4th September 2014:
Hi, here for the Seven Deadly Sins Challenge!

I haven't checked to see if you have received a review from Lo (maraudertimes) but if you have yet to, you will!


So, I have been DYING to read and review this, but I wanted to wait until I had ALL of the entries in, so I wouldn't forget about yours, since it was posted so early into the challenge. I've been itching; such a fascinating story line and plot you have here. Gosh, it killed me.

And now that I'm here, the suspense built up, you met my expectations, and then skyrocketed past them! Your vocabulary is superb. It does wonders for this story, because of the serious tones in it, the higher vocabulary just completes it. I hope that made sense :p Regardless, I love your vocabulary, and just thought I'd point that out to you.

Antioch was the first to hit me as the main issue, and largest mistake out of the three brothers, but as you continued the story, I began to realize that Cadmus seems to be giving the most issues, as of right now. Of course, they all have flaws, but Cadmus seems to be the worst at this point in the story. Antioch isn't particularly loyal, and you reflected that well. Cadmus is grieving and wants Iloli back. Ignotus just stands back and watches his brothers deteriorate with a sense of pride (I love that you make him the one to irk death the most, even from the beginning. I would have made Antioch or Cadmus, not the one who evades death for the longest time with his invisibility cloak).

All in all, this is a suspenseful and impressive read was just astounding. I enjoyed it very much, and cannot wait for the next chapter! Thanks for participating in our challenge! It means a lot!

-Janelle

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Review #5, by LilyLouThe Last Keepers Of The Light: Chapter Three

10th June 2014:
Hi, here for our review swap! Sorry it took so long :)

Another great chapter! Your characters are starting to build wonderfully. I am starting to feel like Imogen, and all I want is to slap Draco across the face for his smug comments; which are very characteristic, by the way.

Ooh, so many details revealed! I wonder how everything will tie together in the end, and how or if Yaxley will achieve immortality. I certainly hope not. And that Liana sounds like a great big jumble of power, and a disaster waiting to happen.

Great chapter!

-Janelle

Author's Response: I'll get to yours right away!

I'm very glad you liked it; I remember being unsure about this chapter!

It's good to hear that Draco fits into his characterization - what more could I want :)

You'll have to keep reading to find out! hehe thanks for the lovely review!

Bella x


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Review #6, by LilyLouTo: Winky: From: Dobby

10th June 2014:
Hi, here for our review swap! Sorry for taking so long. :)

This is so adorable! You narrated it wonderfully, your vocabulary perfect for this particular voice. I love dobby's thought process throughout this first chapter. You truly let us understand what he was thinking, and I adore you adding Dumbledore to the mix. That was perfect.

I certainly hope Winky takes the blouse! I can't imagine her saying no to someone as kind and sweet as Dobby, but you can never be too sure. I personally hope that she takes the present gratefully.

Such a cute story here! I loved it!

-Janelle

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it! I kinda like writing from a house elves perspective. Haha. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to throw in Dumbledore. I just love the idea of them becoming friends.

Thanks for the swap!


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Review #7, by LilyLouLights Out: Lumos.

10th June 2014:
Hi, here for our review swap! Sorry it took me so long.

This was a great little one shot. I love how you told so much, in so little words. You showed their relationship progress and grow with each confrontation, and I loved that! Definitely a great story you told here.

Nothing to really critique... That I can find, anyways. I enjoyed the read so much! I see you have a love for dramione, given you've written quite a few. Don't ever stop!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi Janelle!

It's okay, I didn't mind waiting :)
I didn't have anything else to do, so I reviewed yours pretty quickly, haha :D

Aw, thank you so much! I'm so thrilled you liked my story. I did work on it for a long time, and then I forgot about it due to a lot of projects and exams.

I love Dramione, or just the general good girl/bad boy theme. I won't stop, I promise :D

Thank you for offering that reviewswap! I loved your story!

- Avi


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Review #8, by LilyLouMean: The First One

4th June 2014:
Hi, Kayla!

This is a wonderful start! You've built Lucy's character very well so far, already defining who she is. As well as James. I cannot wait for more! I love how you left us wondering about Eleanor and Cara, and why they weren't coming. One could guess, but you still leave the suspense of not knowing, which urges a reader to read on.

Great job, update soon!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hey, Janelle!

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked this opening chapter! I'm very keen for this story so I really want people to like it!

The next chapter is now up ;)

- Kayla :)


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Review #9, by LilyLoustanding in the way of the light: a series of trials.

2nd May 2014:
Hi, here for our review swap!

Wow, what a dark story. It made me want to cry. I held it in, being in public, but I almost lost it. Your writing is so beautiful, and I admire this!

I love the idea of Lavender and Astoria coping together. Their relationship is so sweet, and important to the pair of them. It's what helps them through.

Her mother's story is so sad. It's horrible, and tragic. But you wrote it perfectly. You wrote the POV of a child well in those flashbacks, bring naive and unaware.

Draco smiling. I can just see it...

Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi Janelle!

Haha, reading this in public probably wasn't the best idea, but it means so much to me that you liked and that it made you want to cry because I never thought I would be able to do that :P

Yay, another Lavender/Astoria fan! It was never actually meant to end up as a sort of pairing it just sort of happened, but as you said, it was important to both of them so I can't imagine them without one another. I'm glad the child's POV worked too, because it's been quite a while since I was a child, so it was weird stepping into that mindset. Aw, Draco! ♥ It's strange thinking he was the one which made the happy ending happen.

Thanks for such a great review, Janelle!

-Kiana



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Review #10, by LilyLouBeneath: cough syrup

22nd April 2014:
KEYTY!

Ahh, Rainne can be so inconsiderate... I can practically feel Sirius' heart shattering! Of course, at least she got him a gift, but poor Siri.

On a positive note, I'm quite fond of the way you wrote Mrs. Potter. Exactly the way I would if she were one of my characters! She's so kind to Rainne, and definitely motherly toward her.

Oh, James. Such a child. I love the way you wrote him this chapter. I can imagine him doing just that! Perfect! He was like a small child. And Mrs. Potter's feigning of excitement was priceless!

Another great chapter here! I can't wait for more!

Author's Response: JANELLE!

Aww don't say that. But I totally get where you're coming from. I think she's just trying to fit in, and he's always joking around so it only makes sense to get him a gag gift. But I felt so terrible doing that to him.

Mrs. Potter is probably my favorite to write. She reminds me a lot of my own mom which makes it super fun. And I think that the Potter family is just awesome. James is just happy go lucky. He just loves life. It's great.

Thanks so much for reviewing! Can't wait to see what you think of the next chapter :)


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Review #11, by LilyLouUpping The Ante: Save A Broom

22nd April 2014:
LO!

The changes, the changes! You've warped everything, but managed to keep the same idea for the most part. For starters, Amos isn't in the past, but the future... Hmmm...

I love your characters so far. You touch on them just enough so you introduce them well for the future. There are so many characters, what with the Quidditch team, to keep track of. But I think I've got them all down in my head.

I cannot wait for more, and to see how Diggory plays out in this! Oooh, is Sirius going to play the hero? Save the day? I can see it. I can't wait to see what Amos did to her and how you're going to write it!

Great second chapter!

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Review #12, by LilyLouScars : Lovely Lavender

21st April 2014:
Here for the Ravenclaw Review Battle!

This was so romantic. I love how Juno handled Lavender and her moods. It was great to understand how she felt about Lavender, and it was amazing how protective she was. And how when the waiter asked about it, Juno was ready to claw his eyes out.

My only problem was that we didn't get to know how Lavender looked! Of course, that would be too gory for the atmosphere of the story, but still. I would have loved to have a mental image. Of course, I'd imagine it's really bad... But how bad, you know? Did it run through her eye? Which one? Did it deform her mouth?

Overall, wonderful one shot! I loved reading it. Great job!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hey there!

I'm glad to hear that it was romantic! I was honestly a little concerned about whether it was romantic at all. I feel like Juno would be the type of person to claw someone's eyes out if they hurt any of the people that she loved, especially if anyone hurt Lavender.

It actually never occurred to me to describe what Lavender's face looked like because maraudertimes had already done it in her one-shot, but I think I will go back and add in the appearance of Lavender, that seems like a good idea. Thanks for pointing it out!

Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #13, by LilyLouBeneath: do i wanna know?

11th April 2014:
Keyty, you sly dog.

I didn't even see this one coming. I thought he just wanted to, like, be her friend and rescue her, being all chivalrous and all. But oh my gosh he's in love! *sings joyous tunes*

I kind of fell behind on your quick updates, but I'll be reading on here momentarily. I just needed to compliment you on this chapter. I love how concerned Sirius is about Raine.

AH MY FAVE SHIP IN FANFICTIONS IS COMING TRUE!

Thanks!

-Janelle

Author's Response: I knew you would like this chapter! I've been planning on revealing this for quite some time. Soon you'll be able to see more of an insight on his feelings for her, because I know it was very sudden. That was deliberate because I wanted to shock everyone, but some people think it's too random so just hold tight! You'll see!

Glad you liked it, thanks for reviewing!


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Review #14, by LilyLouUpping The Ante: The Bouncing Properties of Dimes

8th April 2014:
LO!

Great start! It's definitely different than ABAO because you're missing the whole Amos ordeal. However, the beginning is definitely the same in the whole Quidditch idea, except Alexandra didn't have a huge row with Sirius and James as se did in ABAO

Honestly, it's a wonderful start to a new beginning. I'll be watching for new updates, please do so soon! Sorry for this being such a short review; I am horrible with lengthy reviews.

-Janelle

Author's Response: JANELLE!

Yay! I'm glad you liked it! Oh, don't worry, the Amos ordeal will be there, just slightly toned down. And yes, I thought toning everything down at the beginning would help compensate for everything once the story gets started, so hopefully you like it!

Thank you so much, you're making me smile! I will try and update soon, but no promises. What with the rewrite and my wonderful Beta, it might take a while for new chapters to be up! No problem with the short review! A review is a review, right?

Thank you so much Janelle, you are wonderful!
Lo :)


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Review #15, by LilyLouHouse of Cards: Three of Hearts

17th March 2014:
Hi, here for the Ravenclaw Review Battle!

Wow, another suspenseful and haunting chapter. You are wonderful at writing these kinds of stories, I've noticed. You give it a fantastic atmosphere and mood, I just keep wanting to read on.

The suspects. Hmm... Bella, of course, I think could have something to do with Cygnus's death. I wouldn't put it past her killing her own father for whatever reason she finds necessary. Definitely not Narcissa, I'd be shocked. And Reg, I hope it wasn't Reg. Pollux is definitely catching my attention, what with his cool demeanor and rushing to get the Healers there. I suppose that's natural though.. Oh gosh, all the different theories!

I cannot wait to read on and find out more about the murder. This is definitely interesting. Great chapter, yet again!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hey - thanks so much for stopping by again! :) It's so great to see you coming back, so thanks! :)

Thank you! It's kinda fun writing about old, gloomy houses, with sweeping staircases and annoying portraits :P I'm so glad you like it, though - sometimes I get worried people will get bored with the same setting and all.

Ooh, suspects! Sure it's murder? :P Bella is nuts, that much is definite, haha. So yeah, it's not impossible for her to do something like that. Funny how everyone hopes it isn't Regulus, haha - little, sweet Regulus ;) Don't worry about theories - I love hearing theories! The more the better! :)

Thank you so much for the lovely pair of reviews - they were really great to receive! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story - hopefully you'll stop by again! :)

Aph xx


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Review #16, by LilyLouKill Your Darlings: Ambition

16th March 2014:
Hi there!

So I've never read anything that goes so in depth about Andromeda Black before. I love the Black sisters, but I normally tend to choose Narcissa fics, because she can be written in so many different ways. I loved her character throughout JK's stories, and I hope I like her in yours too!

Your vocabulary is so broad and full of variety! I love it so much, and I am jealous of your skill with words. You truly make me feel as though I am Andromeda, and the world is real. That Ted did approach me, myself, and Rabastan wrapped his arms around me. Your wonderful description truly made it seem real, and I admire your skills!

I cannot wait to read on, and to discover what Andromeda is truly like as a person. She seems incredible, and so much different than her sisters. I know she chose a different path, but that doesn't mean she was different. But from the way you write her, she is different.

Brilliant first chapter, and I will definitely be reading on as soon as I submit this review!

- Janelle

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so glad that you popped in to read and review--especially since you tend to choose Narcissa-based fics. I actually wasn't particularly fond of Cissa until I started writing Andromeda's story. As I was doing my research, I was struck more and more by just what a complex and strong character Narcissa is. So, here's hoping my particular interp does her justice!

Thank you for the encouraging words about the writing style. It's always a fine line to walk, I think--keeping the prose just detailed enough but without descriptive clutter. And it's a line I don't always walk well... Haha. But that you were able to empathize with Andromeda is JUST what I was aiming for, so that makes me extremely happy. :]

I've had such fun writing Andromeda and exploring her character, and I hope you have fun reading on about her! Thanks again for the sweet review.


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Review #17, by LilyLouHouse of Cards: Two of Spades

15th March 2014:
Here for the Ravenclaw Review battle!

This is so suspenseful and ominous. It have me the chills, listening to them talk about Cygnus as he lies there dead on the floor. You wrote this wonderfully, your details really adding to the dark mood of the story.

I have to agree with Barty when I say that Cygnus was probably murdered. Oh gosh, I wonder who did it! At first I suspected Barty, but now I'm not so sure. Orion gives me the creeps, I have to say.

Ooh, it's so odd seeing Sirius surrounded by all of these people. I cannot wait to see how you write him acting around these evil people! Sirius is often written as a smart-mouth and all of that, being snarky and all that jazz. Will he be like that in this story? Hmm.. The questions!

Brilliant job! I understand why this story won the Dobbys! You've got a great start here, and I will definitely continue in reading this fantastic story!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Thank you so much! It was a difficult thing to do, getting the start right - I rewrote the first scene about three times, I think, just to try and get it right - so I'm so glad you like it and think it works!

Really? Interesting :P Yeah, Barty is very suspicious... and Orion... interesting idea, that! He is a bit creepy though... then again, I suppose they are all, haha! :)

Sirius is such an interesting character, and I've always found the most interesting relationships he has are with his family - to me, at any rate - so I love writing him in this. He will almost certainly be a bit darker and perhaps moodier than most Sirius's around, but I like to think he's still Sirius! :)

Haha, it didn't actually win the Dobbys - it was TGS Awards - but thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it - it really is my baby at the moment, so it means a lot! Thanks! :)

Aph xx


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Review #18, by LilyLouBeneath: born to die

15th March 2014:
Hi, Keyty dear!

Another wonderful chapter! I cannot wait for more! When is Sirius going to admit to Rainne that he knows? WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO FALL IN LOVE ASDFGHJKL; I'm shipping Rainne/Sirius all the way!

Can't wait for more! Update son!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi!

I love that you're shipping Sirius/Rainne. I think you're going to LOVELOVELOVE chapter 26 (which should be up sometime today). I can't wait to see what you think of it!


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Review #19, by LilyLouThe Society: No Turning Back

12th March 2014:
Hi, here for the Ravenclaw Review Battle!

This was so interesting! You have a great deal of suspense in the words, leaving me wondering what this whole society is, and what Arnold is all about! Ooh, so intriguing.

Your detailed descriptions of everything was so wonderful, it left me with pictures in my mind. You mention her mother and father, and Annemarie (I LOVE THAT NAME), which is wonderful because you leave questions and suspense, urging your readers on, and leaving them wondering who Annemarie is, why her and Persephone's parents are relevant to the situation.

Great job! Update soon, this really is a great story.

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for your review!

This was my first fanfic ever, so it makes me really happy that people still read it sometimes. I definitely need to update it, but right now I don't have anything planned for it. :/

Yes, mystery mystery mystery! The two chapters that I've written of this are veiled in mystery--so much so that even I don't know what's going to happen next! (This is also a bad thing because it means that I can't write it if I don't know what's going to happen...)

I'm so glad you liked my descriptions!! Annemarie is a pretty name--and actually one that I didn't have any trouble coming up with, so it's good to hear that you love it! (I have such trouble with naming things...) Yes, many questions!! I still think about them from time to time, because Persephone's parents are definitely a big part of the plot, but it's really difficult to figure out how to fit everything in.

Thanks again for the lovely review!

~UnluckyStar57


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Review #20, by LilyLoumaybe, once.: maybe, once.

12th March 2014:
Hi, here for the Ravenclaw Review Battle!

Wow. Wow oh wow oh wow. This was beautiful, marvelous, extraordinary... Words cannot describe this masterpiece! Oh wow!

First off, I'd like to say that this is a great interpretation of Barty Crouch Jr. I've never read one so amazing as this! Normally, I don't see one quite as in depth and full or love about Barty. I find him a cold character, normally, quite like how you wrote Reg. But the way you wrote Barty, with so much care and love and hurt! And in three days! Wow.

Reg was cold and dark in this story. I LOVE writing regulus, and I normally tend to write him more loving because of the idea that he was like Sirius. But the way you wrote him, afraid and denying Barty. Wow! I just love the way you wrote both of them!

The plot was amazing. You explained everything to us, just enough, to find this one shot filling and enjoyable. Honestly, I'm flabbergasted at the beauty!

Well done.

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi there - thanks so much for stopping by! :)

This was something really out of my comfort zone, since I'm not used to romance or really fond of it, so I'm so so glad you liked it! Thank you so so much for the wonderful compliments! :) :)

Thank you! I haven't seen him written very often, tbh, so for me it was kinda a fresh slate to work with, you know - and I used a lot of the way I wrote him in House of Cards, too, to base it, so that's sort of how he came about, really. But yeah, he's surprisingly emotive!

Gah, me too! :) Oddly enough, this is pretty much how I tend to write Regulus, haha - the antithesis of Sirius, in way. Strange, that! But I'm so happy you liked him - and yeah, he's scared and unsure and not strong or brave enough to really go after what he wants because it's 'abnormal' and all that... pretty sad.

Thank you so so much for this review - honestly, it just made my day when I got it and I still read it over because just... wow. I can't believe it! Thank you so much! :) :)

Aph xx


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Review #21, by LilyLouPure Intentions: Red Flags

7th March 2014:
Sorry for taking a bit to get to this, but I'm here for our review swap!

I've heard many things about this story--all good--and I thought maybe I should read it! So I did, and I enjoyed it.

Normally I'm not the biggest fan of slash, probably because I don't understand the whole deal with it, but I'm opening my mind up to new things as of late, and so this was the perfect oppurtunity to expand on that.

This was great. Your characterization is wonderful, and you write the boys with great detail, which can be hard from the POV and style you wrote this. 3rd in past tense, I think, can be hard to add lots of emotion into, but you did a great job on this!

I'll be reading on!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi Janelle!

Thank you so much for the lovely review! It's kind of neat that so many people have nice things to say about this story!!

Eh, slash is pretty much a romance but it has two people of the same sex. If it's well written, there shouldn't be much else that differs from other love stories. I hope you enjoy giving it a chance!

I'm really glad you liked this chapter! I do a lot of writing in 3rd person past so it was within my comfort zone at least.

Thank you so much for a lovely review!

-Rose


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Review #22, by LilyLouThe Art of Small Talk: Quidditch Confrotations

7th March 2014:
Hi here for our review swap!

Oh goshhh I can't imagine why I haven't gotten to this yet! It's one of my favorites but I didn't get to it. Oh well, I'm here now!

Great, once again, all around. Your characterization is marvelous, as well as your word choice, plot, and how you managed to incorporate, like, all of your characters in this one! You added on to each part of her life in this chapter, rather than focusing on one part, and I loved that!

George and staying neutral :'D I loved that, because it was so true that Ginny would throw a fit, and Oliver wouldn't be too pleased either! That was a great humorous add-on.

OH MY GOSH HE KISSED HER AND OH MY GOSH DID SHE FAINT?! No she didn't. I don't believe it. It was a camera! Wow that actually sounds like a convincing back up.. Yeah those are my two guesses. Are they right?;D

Lovely chapter!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi Janelle!

Haha, don't worry, I have a habit of doing that as updates can just slip past so easily! (Also, thank you for the SOTM nom, it made me smile so much :D). I'm so glad that you liked the characterisation because I've never had such a large cast before but it's surprisingly fun to see how I can make sure they all make somewhat regular appearances.

Haha, yeah, I thought it would be fun to throw in some Weasley family drama because who doesn't love that? Haha, the next chapter is now up so you can find out what the bright white light is, but yay for them kissing!

Thanks for such a fab review :D

-Kiana


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Review #23, by LilyLouHamartia: ....

7th March 2014:
Hi, here for our review swap!

This was so beautiful!
... Well, okay, not really beautiful. The plot wasn't, it was sad and heart-wrenching, but your words and use of second point of view were wonderful! I love how you give the character depth by telling us her past, and you left tiny hints as to who it is, and I loved that! I did the same thing with a few of my stories, I like to add the element of surprise to my stories, as well as suspense, and yours had a great mix of a little of both!

Once again, great story here! You've got a great gift!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much!

I'd actually never written anything with an anonymous narrator before, so it was something really different, but I'm glad you liked it!

Thank you so much for this lovely review, you've made my day!

- Faith :)


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Review #24, by LilyLouFluorescent Adolescent : crushed moon extract

3rd March 2014:
Here for Ravenclaw Review Battle!

What an amazing first chapter! I will DEFINITELY be reading on. Even though it was more of an introduction into the way things are set up, and how your version of the Next Generation World works, I am already eager to read on, and am intrigued!

I LOVE Quidditch stories, though I don't have many myself. They always add that extra bit of filler and excitement when you need a break from all the boring aspects, and you are going to be wonderful with that. I cannot wait to see how you rank your quidditch teams, how they attack, etc. It's so exciting!

I think I'm going to love Mikey.. he seems so sweet and awesome and asdfghjkl; he's going to be my favorite.. i think.

Alton is your stereotypical Quidditch Captain, and while that isn't bad, be careful to not make him too cliche.

Oh gosh darling, Oscar is fab. I just love him. I mean, I don't know him, but I love him. He's like glitter and ugg boots. Just oh my gosh darling. (Seriously though he's going to be a great minor character)

I cannot wait to read on! I'll be around sooner or later to check in on updates.

Until then!

-Janelle

Author's Response: omg wow thank you so much!
i'm so happy you liked it- i'm not too sure about this chapter, so i'll be going over it as soon as chapter 5 is published (also, chapter 5? SO much quidditch. and also referring to your cliche quidditch captain comment- chapter 5 totally tackles that. i hope.)
i'm so glad you like oscar and mikey, they're my babes! i like them too! woo!
i'm really excited to see what you think of the next few chapters! thanks again for the review :') bea xx


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Review #25, by LilyLouHoping for A Heartbeat : Prologue

27th February 2014:
Hi, here for our review swap!

Sorry for the late response to this, I was busy. But I'm here now! This was amazing. You explained greatly how Ginny always loved Harry, and how that impacted her through her life. I think your writing style is good, but you seem to have a habit for writing run-on sentences. If you could change that, it would be a brilliant prologue. Just tiny edits! ;D

Great job!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi Janelle,
Thanks so much for coming by and reviewing!
I am aware of my habit so hopefully my new beta will help me out with that. Thanks;)


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