Reading Reviews From Member: Siriusly89
  
184 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Siriusly89In Love With Your Laugh: In Love With Your Laugh

8th January 2014:
Oooh, review-swap, this is exactly what I wanted to do and I go on the forums, and thereís already one waiting for me! Right, letís get down to it, off I go!

Now, Isnít this a coincidence, in another of my things I scribble, thereís the meeting of parents occurring, so yes, funny the way the world works sometimes! Can I just say that I love your OCís name, Evalin is really beautiful? And a keeper too, heh. Sorry, that was a terrible pun.

That description of James Sirius Potter though. I never pegged Harry as one of those ĎGod heís a good looking bloke isnít he?í but your James definitely took after his second namesake, going by the description anyway. I really hope this goes well for the two of them, I really do. Imagine if they got there and everyone was just hostile (I know this wonít happen, but imagine if it did?) it would be terrible.

And they were, as expected, perfectly lovely! Molly I doing all the hugging and Hermione with the introducing and whatnot. Donít ask me what Lucy and Molly are doing though, pulling off Evalins shoes and just tearing at her feet, seems a little bit too friendly for me, but then again I suppose that Molly is her best friend, so she can be excused for now.

Awh, Evalins back-story really is sad, isnít it? HmmÖ.but at least she has James now, and the previously-stated monstrous Weasley clan, so I think it will all work out for her from now on, hopefully anyway! And ack, Albus requesting the presence of people, I know whatís going to happen here. I know, and you know but Evalin doesnít know which makes it all the more interesting, no?

AH! I knew it, he proposed, and it was adorable, and Lilyís response was even more adorable, and the adorableness is killing me right now because I just want to grab everyone and hug them. AhhÖ.adorable. I loved your use of your quote for the challenge you wrote this for, itís just a gorgeous line, and you fitted it in so well!

This was such a sweet one-shot, I really enjoyed it!

Author's Response: Review swaps are so much fun!

Thanks so much, your comments were lovely, and reading you react as you read the story was fantastic!!

Haha, that was not a terrible pun, that was a great one. I kind of want to edit the story and put that in there because it's so funny and I think James would totally say something like that.

I've always pictured James and Albus as spitting images of their father, just hunkier. Besides, how do you NOT make James hunky?

Thanks for the review swap! It was fun!

xoxo LL


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Review #2, by Siriusly89Keep Calm and Carry On: The Match

8th October 2013:
YOUíRE BACK!

Oh how Iíve missed you and Edie and all the gang and their little hijinx and Iím so excited for this chapter and I wish I could give you a tight hug and pinch your cheeks but I canít so just consider yourself hugged and pinched, okay?

Right. Now thatís over with, on we go.

A Puddlemere blue dress? Now really, what are we going to do with her? The whole green underwear thing doesnít really make up for it. I can just imagine Seamus demanding to see them to prove she isnít lying so as to stop him throwing a hissy fit. Because you know he will when he seeís her decked out in the enemies colours *queue gasps of outrage* I agree, Iím pretty sure the two of them were pretty sloshed while writing that.

A glittery press badge, oh Edie, I love it. Iíd more than likely do the same thing in that situation, you know, being so excited that you finally have a real, legitimate job that doesnít involve working in dingy bars (Iím looking at you ĎThe Poisoned Apple) must be pretty darn exciting for her. I used a whole bunch of different pronouns in that sentence, but you get what I mean right? They are pronouns? I think? Sorry, my brain has decided not to cooperate with me.

Just a random voice appearing out of nowhere while sheís stranded in the middle of the countryside, and Edieís as cool as a cucumber, I wouldíve panicked a million times over by that stage! And when the little voice (who I now know is Oliver) is all like ďLook up!Ē and I kid you not, I had visions of Katie (who I thought was the voice at first) and all the other reporters just sitting in a tree staring down at her (donít ask why theyíre in a tree, they are) and it was just a fantastic image. But the broom makes more sense, I must agree.

The whole flying thing is pretty darn awkward. Oliver, eh hello? You canít just saunter in casual as you like and be all mysterious and flirty and gah. No, I wonít allow it. Iíd forgotten how deep my hatred ran concerning Oliver-stinking-Wood, but it is back, it all came back to me.

Rose. I was wondering when she would show up. Sheís a smart little cookie, being all nicey nice to Edie, training in her intern and whatnot, but I donít trust her, I just know sheís bloody up to something. I can bet you anything before the end of this, Edie will get fired and it will all be Roseís fault, because Rose is evil and I hate her even more than I hate Oliver. They deserve each other in my opinion, bloody well deserve each other.

Itís ironic. Only word for it. Katieís sitting there, spouting about how Oliverís all hard done by to the journalist that actually wrote the piece. I get why she doesnít like Rose though, considering everythingís in under her name. I bet you, Iíll bet anything that eventually Oliver will get round to reading the article, break up with Rose, go to Edie for comfort who will be delighted (because even a bat could see she likes him) but then her moral compass will take over and sheíll have to reveal everything and heíll hate her.

And then Edie and Dean will run off into the sunset because they are obviously meant to be. Ahem, sorry. Dedie is back as well, did I mention that?

I love the part about Edie at a concert standing in front of Myron Wagtails wife, but no. No cutesy Edie/Oliver connection moments. I wonít allow it, I wonít.

Ah, Edie forgets herself and starts shouting for Kenmare Kestrels! YAY! I so wanted this to happen, ah, Iím just so happy right now, smiling away to myself like a little Cheshire cat. Donegalís a bit of an odd name for the seeker though, but I suppose it would be more common up the country rather than from where Iím from, so yep!

She just had to choose that moment to start acting like a crazy person doesnít she. She is so getting fired after this, you know, for getting drunk and being unprofessional at a match. Not to mention sheís going to be Public Enemy No. 1 for Puddlemere fans. I donít get how she made them lose though, unless she was shouting bloody blue murder, thereís no way Oliver could have heard her, right? Iím just a bit confused thatís all!

And, to conclude, you are back with a bang. A fantastic chapter, as always, which I thoroughly enjoyed, as always!

Please donít stay away as long next time, yeah? :)

Author's Response: Hello hello hellooo! It's been so long! I hope you are well, lovely ♥

Pahaha. I can just imagine how it would go over if Seamus asked to see Edie's underwear. Oh man. Add this to the list of one-shots I need to write to keep myself motivated ;D

Hahaha. You're right, a random voice is pretty weird and out of the blue! I guess after you've gone to school in a castle where the doors need to be tickled to open, and staircases move, and portraits talk, you get used to odd voices? Or maybe I'm making excuses. Very possible. Very, very possible.

Hmm, so how exactly do you feel about Rose, or Oliver while we're at it? I'm not quite sure :P No, I'm glad you feel strongly about these characters, of course!

Yes! You did indeed call it once again, with the plot. Haha. Initially I wrote it so that Oliver turned to stare at her and was hit with a Bludger, but I throught this was a much better way to say OH EDIE, GURL, YOU REALLY MESSED UP NOW. And yeah, it's pretty unlikely that her voice rang across the pitch! I just think of the (very, very few) sporting events I've been to, for example a basketball game, when somebody goes to shoot and there's that collective breath being held by everyone and then that one person (who arguably has the loudest voice in the history of the world) shouts something and everyone can hear. Plus, it has been mentioned that Edie does have "some pipes on her," as Seamus likes to say. Maybe I should mention that again in this scene? Hmm...!

Thank you so, so, SO much, this was such a long and lovely review to read! I promise not to stay away so long this time! ♥


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Review #3, by Siriusly89Harry Potter and the Plot of Power: 00 Prologue

26th September 2013:
Hello! Siriusly89 here with your review swap, so sorry about the length of time it took me to see youíre PM, but I was buried under a mountain of work and, yeah, just time ran away from me.

Right, Iíve never really read anything along the lines of this, Iím more of a humour and romance kind of gal (just look at my authors page and youíll see what I mean!) but Iím more than willing to give this a go, actually quite looking forward to the experience now! Enough waffling, off we go!

I love the part about her hot pink heels, because usually heels which are pink means sheís a bimbo, and here she works in a laboratory and argh, I just love that, taking a stereotype and spinning it on its head, and its just fabulous, so thank you for that first of all.

Okay, whatís going on in this lab? Why do I get the feeling their little Ďexperimentí was carried out on actual people. The lab rats is bad enough, never mind killing people for research, okay I understand that they have to research on something but, argh I donít know, it just doesnít seem right to me, If you get me? So pink heel-lady seems a bit sadistic to me at the momentÖ..

Okay, this is getting creepy. This Ďvirusí their talking about, its magic isnít it. What are they doing? Extracting blood from like witches and wizards and injecting it into muggles somewhere on the hope that theyíll, nope, itís hard to put into words, and itís just wrong. So wrong.

This Ďdoctorí is intriguing me though, who is he? Why does he hate Harry Potter? It isnít Draco, right? Because isnít he supposed to be all happy-clappy ĎIím not against mugglesí-but wait! Heís working with muggle sand OH GOD! It could be Draco, couldnít it? But then it could equally be someone else as well so now Iím confused and the mystery is intriguing me!

This was really, really good! Proof I need to branch out more, I will definitely be favouriting and coming back for more.

Author's Response: Hey! So first of all, don't apologize for giving me a review late. I mean...it's been 5 months since you left it and I'm just now giving you a response! :O However, better late than never, right?

I know what you mean about stepping out of the normal reading patters. I usually go for Marauders era and Founders with a touch of humor and drama. Even writing this is a BIG challenge because it's the first time I've written about this era with this big of a plot.

I've always imagined Cassandra as this girly girl who knows her science. Who is nice and warm to people that she loves but becomes this cold human being while in the Labs and work. Basically life for her can be black and white.

The experiments were indeed done on people. She's not technically sadistic. The subjects were told what was going to happen and the risks. They decided to take it so Cassandra has no regrets of what was done. Science is her motive her. The advancement of humans is her motivation. They are using blood, which contains our previous DNA coding. But you'll get to find out later!

The Director is someone that we know but I'm not telling who! Hahaha! I hope it's a big reveal in the end that will make people's heads spin!

Thank you for your review!!! And so sorry for taking forever to give you a response!

--Rosie


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Review #4, by Siriusly89No One Likes to Be Alone: The Alcove

10th September 2013:
Hello! Siriusly89 here, reviewing your challenge entry. Thank you very much for entering in the first place!

Aaah, now Iím just going to come right out and say it. Iím not altogether all that fond of Dramione, but Iíll look at this with an open mind, donít worry! I just mightnít be as well-knowledged about them as others, and for that I apologise!

Ah, well you set up Hermione studying in the secluded corridor very well, it made sense, and you know, it wasnít like you just plonked her there for the sake of the plot, it made sense. The wafting cologne bit made me gag, just because its Draco and heís an evil canevil until he leaves Hogwarts, but I can see the allure that might eventually draw her to him, bad-boy and all that jazz!

After such a fabulous first paragraph, the other two feltÖ.slightly rushed? If that made any sense. They sort of let the whole thing down a little, not drastically or anything, but maybe it might be worth casting another glance over that bit, and beefing it up a little. A small bit of babbling goes a very long way!

I like it, we get to see some of Dracoís anxiety about the whole Voldemort-situation. And his little comment about him being weirded out at him even being alive made me giggle slightly, I can just see him sitting there going ĎBut, but, youíre supposed to be d-e-a-dí and sorry, I know that humour wasnít a main aim for this novel, but I found that funny!

No, Draco isnít supposed to love her already. No, he isnít allowed to be all human and things, he needs to be a mean old meanie. Stop trying to change my opinion of him :P Iím joking, of course!

Okay, the last moment was pretty sweet, Iíve got to admit. I still am not a Dramione fan,, but that definitely was sweet!

Thank you again for entering my challenge! Results shall be posted by the end of the week!

Author's Response: I'm sorry you're not very fond of Dramione, it was the easiest thing to combine this challenge with! But thank you for being openminded. :) I will agree with you that the paragraphs after the first were a little rushed, but I am planning on editing those tonight to beef them up and maybe add some dialogue between the trio, as you've suggested!

Hey, if I write unintentional humor, that's usually my best humor! I'm a very sarcastic person so it's hard for me to write humor...anyway, I'm glad you thought that was funny to kind of lighten the story up a bit!

I absolutely love writing Draco and I wanted to show that he really was scared that the Dark Lord was back, etc etc because he knew what it really meant for him. Oh come on, everyone's human! :P I made sure not to make him too comfortable though, being very stiff at first and taking a little bit to relax at her touch.

This was such a fun challenge and I love all of the ones you host so I'll definitely be back for more!! :)
~MadiMalfoy x


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Review #5, by Siriusly89See Jen Run: The Payback

1st September 2013:
I'm going to apologize for the length of this review, as Geography is screaming to be completed, but I just love this so much! Jen and Andrew, and then the Marauders showering! Hah! I like to think Mr 'Oh snap!' was Peter, he seems like the type! And hten the image of them all with their wands pointed is one of my favourites! I love that image, so thank you for that! I am most definitely favouriting this, and please update soon, Aaah! I love this so much :D 10/10

Author's Response: Geography? Pssh, that can wait. I actually agree with you about Peter being the Oh, snap guy. He does seem the type. Wow, there are so many incredible things in this review. 10/10 rating? Favoriting this? You love it? A smile face? You are really very, very kind. Thank you so much for all the encouragement; it really does mean the world to me. Here comes your very own smile face. :D

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Review #6, by Siriusly89In Sickness And In Health: Healing in Hell?

27th August 2013:
Hello! Siriusly89 here with the review swap.

I must admit, Iím not a big Dramione fan, but I will give it a go, and try and give you a good enough review!

Well, Draco was a little crepe and took her to his house. Could he have not brought her to one of her friends, or someone she actually, oh, I donít know, liked? Poor judgement on his part really, always knew Malfoy was a bit of an idiot.

Aha! Wait! Now this makes more sense, they were both put there when they were out cold, yes, much more sense. I donít retract my comment about Malfoy being an idiot, but anyway.

Hermione was out for two days? Oh god. And whyís she getting all concerned about Malfoy for? Sheís supposed to hate him. You see, sheís just too nice for her own good, she really is.

So they have some unknown disease, well that isnít good, is it? Nope, no it is not.

They were out of it for two months?!? Well, this is just getting more and more intriguing, isnít it? They have a sort of Wizarding form of cancer, and itís just, hmmÖ.youíve definitely sparked interest here anyway!

This was very, very interesting! Youíve really gotten off to a good start with this, the basic plot is a good one, and itís definitely going somewhere. Even as an avid Romione shipper, I enjoyed this!

Thank you again!

Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you for reviewing :)

I understand, I didn't realise how many people aren't Dramione fans, It's my guilty pleasure! Hehe

I did think about Malfoy taking her back to his place, but as you said, a bit creepy, so decided against that! She is too nice for her own good, but if your gonna be stuck with someone for so long you wouldn't wanna be hating the person, you'd go insane!

No its not good, but it has some great unexpected twists in regards to it later on in the story :D

Nice to know you think that it is sounding good, always nice to know that other authors think its working. Thank you again for reviewing!

Blondie


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Review #7, by Siriusly89Crossing the Borderline: Aaliyah: The Meeting

27th August 2013:
Hi! Siriusly89 here with the review swap, sorry it took so long, I was asleep :P but now Iím right and ready to review!

HmmÖ..very interesting. Why is this strange person walking around abandoned corridors? I like the mystery element of this, makes it sort of eerie in a way. The mention of fear has me a bit worried as well, what does she have to fear? If I read right, this is a Next-Gen, so Voldies out of the picture, meaning itís something else. Interesting, very interestingÖ.

Yay! Albus is a mysterious Slytherin. Itís just my head canon that heís in that house, I almost get a bit disappointed when heís in Gryffindor. Slytherin all the way for Albie, although sometimes he makes the best Hufflepuff! Sorry, enough ranting.

Is it some sort of underground prank group? Is that what it is? I really hope so, how fun would that me, because Albus could do his mysterious thing, and then yeah. If itís something else Iíll probably be just as excited, but well, you know now that a prank league is my hearts desire!

On a side note, I apologise for this not-review. Iím not exactly sure what it is, so I do apologise!

Whoís this coming down the hall in the heels? I love how Albus is just as cool as a cucumber, I agree, make him squirm! I like making those really Ďconfidentí people uncomfortable, take them down a peg or two, cut them down to size, and all other sayings that go along with that!

Ah! I thought heel-person was a teacher or something, but by the way theyíre talking Ronan is a student, Iím going to guess? Oh! I feel a lot of school divides, almost school politics coming on and that excites me!! Aaah! Sheís a gossip! Oh my god, I donít think itís possible that I could love this any more than I do now.

Itís an interview, I change my mind, I prefer it this way than the whole prank thing, this is much, much better! The mystery is so intriguing, I love it!

James and Aaliyahís sister broke up, and theyíre doing a press release about it? But why? They seem like they still care for each other, why not just let it drop peacefully, though I suppose one Miss Charlotte Ronan would smear I all over the place anyway, well played you lot, good thinking, very good thinking. Ah, Gabbyís her name!

Albus stole her wand, if that isnít his backwards attempt at flirting, I donít know what is, though I suppose itís probably just him being a bit odd or something. Aaah! James and Gabby faked being a couple, this is getting good! This is getting very good, I also know where Albus is going with this, because I am a genius!

Aaah! I loved this so much, I most definitely am favouriting! I loved it, as you can tell from the rambly mess that is this review, sorry about thatÖÖ.

Author's Response:
It's great to see I'm not the only one who likes to see him as a Slytherin. It just makes it a whole lot more interesting when you put him in that house.

No, not an underground prank group. Though that is a good guess. :P

Yeah...Albus is that cool, calm, and collected kid that you are jealous of since you can't pull off the cool, calm, and collected thing he has going on. I will make him squirm later on, I promise. It'll just take some time to break his exterior.

Yes they want to go out there are release it and get it over it. That way it won't get messy later on.

Oh, wow... I started laughing (in a good way) when I read "if that isn't his backwards attempt at flirting, I don't know what is." Yes he is teasing her a bit. That's what Slytherins do: tease and try not to get any feelings get in the way.

Lol, you are a genius. ;) You should definitely be put in Slytherin with that smart and cunning brain of yours.

Thanks so much for the review. I enjoyed reading it. Seeing you slowly, find everything out and piece it together was very interesting and nice. It's like having a virtual tour in a readers brain. Thanks again.

~Sama

p.s. oh and..10/10 on your review. ;)


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Review #8, by Siriusly89Haunted: Secrets

26th August 2013:
Hello! Siriusly89 here with the review swap!

Peters sense of self-preservation, grr. Now, Iím one of those Peter-hater people who just dislike him mindlessly, but youíve got to admit, itís pretty hard to like him when goes off and does that. There wasnít even an interrogation for goodness sake, he just blurted it out. Though I suppose, Iíve never been in that situation, so I wouldnít know whatís its like. But still, grr Peter, grrÖÖ

Oh no you didnít Peter. No you did NOT. Heís pushing all suspicion from him onto Remus. My Remy, one of the nicest people in the entire HP series, and he decides to go off and do that. Really? Nope, donít care, no sympathy for you now. Just despicable. Remus is grieving and heís pushing him even further away from his friends and argh. Peter, you little rat.

Agh! James, youíre killing me. He thanked him, and all the time Peterís double-crossing him and just argh. Iíve a feeling its going to get worse. Prepare for more ranting. Lots more.

Alright, youíve made me see it from Peterís point of view again. I donít necessarily like to be rational about all this, but alright, he was tortured, and I realise he was trying to be vague, but Peter, man up. Dying would be better than living with the knowledge youíre betraying your friends, wouldnít it?

Heís beginning to remind me of someone that just got caught up in the wrong crowd. He canít back out, but he doesnít want to do half of the things theyíre making him do because he doesnít realise that if he would just say no, his life might be easier. Okay, he would be killed but he would die happy, knowing his friends still have good reason to trust him an argh, Peter you stupid, stupid man!

I really enjoyed this! Thank you! Iím definitely favouriting!

Author's Response: I really enjoyed this stream-of-consciousness review :P Peter is such a complex character to write - he made terrible choices and did awful things to his friends, but (in my mind at least) he wasn't malicious, just got sort of dragged into it and then his worst decisions came back to haunt him. I guess that naturally lends itself to alternately hating him and pitying him as you read, lol.

I know, I really hated making him do that to Remus, because I love Remus too! But I thought it would explain a lot about why they stopped trusting him and why Peter was chosen as Secret-keeper.

Wow - I'm honoured by the favourite! Thank you! ♥♥


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Review #9, by Siriusly89Gravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 1

26th August 2013:
Hello! Siriusly89 here from the review swap. I will admit, this seems a lot different to the usual things I read, but I am more than willing to give it a go, itís actually intriguing, you have definitely sparked my interest!

I have read the prologue, but it was too short for me to leave you a substantial review, but I will say that if you sparked my interest before, now itís practically a bonfire! Iím looking forward to this, most definitely!

Iím going to guess that Ophelia is cat/green overall woman who rescued the girl in New York, right? And who are these McLauchlin people I wonder. HmmÖvery interesting. I like the idea of Mc Gonagall having a ditzy friend, it reminds me of Ginny and Luna. Complete opposites, but they understand each other all the same! And owl out for Chinese, I am serious, I laughed out loud at that line. Ophelia is my new favourite person. Official.

Some people might use locks and stuff to keep people from escaping. Ophelia? She uses her knitting. I love this woman. I really do. Sadie is intriguing though! And cutlery that is fickle. Gah! The woman canít get any better!

I really, really liked this piece! Okay, my review was basically me listing all the reasons I love Ophelia, but nonetheless, I liked it! Iíll keep an eye out for this, most definitely!

Author's Response: So we both ended up with something totally different from what we usually read. Funny how that worked out. :) Thanks so much for reading it anyway, and I'm really glad I caught your interest.

And you read TWO chapters! Wow! Thanks a million! And still interested. I'm grinning like crazy now.

Correct guess on who Ophelia is. Good observation. It really was fun to give Minerva a good friend, someone rather opposite of her personality. And I never thought of it before, but your Ginny and Luna comparison is cool. As for owling out for Chinese - just seemed like something you could do in NYC as a witch.

I can't believe how many people have loved Ophelia! Very humbled by it, and kinda wishing I'd meant for her to play a bigger role in this story, now. She'll be back, but probably not for a very long time. Still, so very happy you liked her!

Glad you are intrigued by Sadie a bit as well. Hopefully enough to come back and follow her story.

Your review was lovely! Thank you so much for the exchange!


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Review #10, by Siriusly89A Picnic to Remember : The Surprise

12th August 2013:
Hi! Siriusly89 from the Review Thread thingy. Said Iíd review the last thing you posted, so here I would be ;)

Ah, itís a Dom/Teddy! I like this, I feel Teddy gets fobbed off with Victoire way too much, just because they may or may not have been dating when they were eighteen and seventeen respectively, does not mean they instantly get married and skip off into sunsets Ďla-di-dahí.

Sorry-err, lets get back to the review, shall we?

Awy, they became friends after he broke up with Victoire, I like it. And Iím sorry, but when someone blindfolds you, even when they are your best-mate-forever, you do start to get a little suspicious. Either heís going to ask her to go out with him, or heís going to, I donít know, mug her or something.

Dom! Never give up hope. All this rubbish about him Ďnot liking youí. Number one, its fan fiction, where everything and anything is possible, and number two, the guy obviously likes you to some degree, he wouldnít organise nice surprises every now and then if he hated you, now would he?

AHHHMEEEGAWWWD! He took her to Malaysia? Oh wow! Iím actually very jealous. Your Teddy is so nice! I too have a ĎTeddyí and he isnít near as nice as this. Makes me feel like he needs some character development. Or I could just steal yours for a while! But anyway, he took her to a beach. A beach in Malaysia. I am flailing so much right now. *Flail*

I love it, he canít find the words to ask her out, so he just snogs her. Iím laughing, but it just makes sense, you know? Doms a lucky girl! And this was just one of the cutsey-ist one-shots Iíve read in so long, and thank you so much for writing it!

Hugs!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing =)

Yeah Teddy gets paired with Dom too often, which is why I enjoy writing Dom/Teddy so much. They've recently grown to become my OTP!

Haha mug her? I am pretty sure Teddy would never dream of mugging Dom, lol. And btw, I am glad you liked the way I made them friends.

Indeed, Dom is silly that way, she can't imagine Teddy liking her back xP

Haha my Teddy is nice, he's my dream guy xD Haha feel free to steal mine xP *catches you and gives you a hug*

I am pleased this story made you laugh and smile and you found it cute and you enjoyed it so much. Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely review, it totally made my day!


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Review #11, by Siriusly89Keep Calm and Carry On: Nothin' but a Number

17th July 2013:
AH! I literally start chanting every time you update :D

Seamus! Itís been too long! And of course youíre eyeing up girls, my lilí Seamy, wouldnít be you unless you were. And of course trendy-artist Jae would suggest the trendy-artist cafť. I like how it sort of came full circle, the whole mess started in Le Chat Noir, and it ends there too (well, the mess at Witch Weekly, Iíve a feeling things arenít going to work out this well between Edie and Rosie dearest (snort) and Oliver-stinking-Wood (I hate him so much, its just irrational)

And the whole thing makes a lot more sense! I like how you casually explained it to everyone, when really it was an epic tale which spanned eighteen (eight-friggin-teen!) chapters!

Nooo (you canít hear me, but Iím howling at this stage!) Not only is Edie completely bypassing Dean (Dedie forever!) but sheís using Jae. Donít do that Edie, its not nice. Donít be a Rose. Iím so disappointed in you Edie. Sob. Inner Lisa is shaking her head. Bad Edie, very bad.

EDIE! Edie Lennox, you get down off that table right now and put your shirt back on! Walk out that door and donít do something stupid. Edie! EDIE! Sheís not listening to me! Aah! Poor Jaeís just going to get his feelings stomped all over, isnít he? OR! Now this could be a very good plot twist, EDIE falls in love with Jae, but he turns out to be a womaniser (I hate that word, but the word I wanted to use is 15+ :P) and then she cryís a lot, and has to wander off, but Seamus and Dean (especially Dean, wink wink!) make her feel better, and they all skip off into the sunset (Edie and Dean holding hands, of course ;) ) and Oliver goes off with Rose, and has evil little children, and Jae runs off with EDIES MOM! Yes! That is a good idea! In my mind anyway!

I donít know why they are freaking out quite so much. Seven years isnít that bad when you think about it, I mean, there are forty-somethings and nineteen year olds together, and no one really bats an eyelid. But I suppose all the same, it is rather uncomfortable for Edie. I told her it was a bad idea, but did she listen, nope!

Leo just strolls on in with a pickle sandwich, casual as you like, and starts blabbering on about how Oliver Ďreallyí likes Edie. Yeah, that explains why he got off with Rose first chance he got, doesnít it? NOT!

And Edieís covering the Puddlemere-Kestrels match. Awkward. I really hope she forgets herself at some point and just starts randomly shouting abuse at Puddlemere and cheering for the Kestrels, only to remember a second too late, by which time sheís stood up on her chair!

Imagine though, if she were to run into Rose and Oliver! Please tell me she does!

As always, a brillopad chapter, already excited for the next one ♥

Author's Response: Hey, you! ♥

Yes! I originally had them going back to The Poisoned Apple so that Edie could talk loudly about her new job, but it just added another sub-plot to an already fairly eventful chapter.

Paha! I'm sorry you hate Oliver so much! I'm afraid he's here to stay for the rest of the story, though what his role will be I can't say. (MYSTERY! DECEIT!)

Haha, that's interesting that you saw it as her using Jae! I've always just seen him as not actually having any feelings for her, either. More like they're using each other. I think I mentioned this in another response, but they only spend time together when they bump into each other--at Hypatia's studio, outside the Hanging Moon, breaking into WW because he was bored. Neither of them really displayed a huge interest in the other, outside of being physical. At least in my opinion! ;3

I agree--age doesn't matter to me. I feel like it's different when one of the parties still has the "-teen" suffix... And she went into it thinking he was older than her, so that's a bit of a shock xD

STOP GUESSING ALL OF MY STORY PLOTS. I guess it's not a huge spoiler, but Edie does indeed forget herself at the match!

Thanks again, lovely ♥


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Review #12, by Siriusly89That Escalated Quickly: Before the Party

15th July 2013:
Hi again! Iím here with Review #2!

Ah! Hermione and the disaster-date with Cormac McLaggen! I like how she repeated herself in the first paragraph about Ron, it was very Hermione-ish! You really have a knack for getting into character, donít you? Ah, so she had been planning on going with Ron, but then she jumped the gun and invited a complete berk, so she couldnít go with Harry! I always wondered why they didnít go together, although Ron wouldíve probably gotten really annoyed had they!

Hermione? Really? You Ďcanít decideí whether you hate McLaggen or not? The guy is a complete and utter pain in the behind! You just canít admit it because you want to have one over on Ron! Bad Hermione, letting your pride get in the way!

Bad, I tell you, bad.

And that concludes review two! Thank you so much for entering my challenge in the first place and I really enjoyed reviewing these two pieces!

Author's Response: Hermione/Cormac seems like such an under-developed ship that I just had to write about it! Considering I do have 4 WIPs though, it's hard to update them all evenly!

I have a knack for getting into character? That's one of the best compliments I've ever received, thank you!! :)

Obviously Hermione was going to ask Ron, because she OBVIOUSLY was in love with him, he was just too blind to see it, so she was going to use the party as an excuse to get things moving with him. Then he got with Lavender and she wanted to get back at him, etc etc. Hermione being prideful was something I really liked, so I did have her not able to decide how she really felt about McLaggen, yet, at least! :P

Thanks again for the wonderful review, and a great challenge! I will definitely enter in one of yours in the future if it strikes my liking! :)
~MadiMalfoy xx


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Review #13, by Siriusly89The Tale of Draco Malfoy: 10 Years Old

15th July 2013:
Hi! Siriusly89 here from the ĎTo Kill A Mockingbirdí Quote Challenge, with your prizes! Sorry this took so long!

And without further ado, Review #1

I like the idea of little Draco writing in a journal. Iím only on the first paragraph, but you really do seem to have captured Dracoís spirit and tone perfectly! He sounds arrogant, obnoxious, and all the things we come to expect when we think of the little monster!

Second paragraph is full of him boasting, of course, but seeing as itís Draco, I would have been surprised if it had been anything else! And the whole pureblood element really came in when Draco started talking about Pansy and Astoria, didnít it? I like it, makes it feel more real!

It was written simply, as if written by a ten year old, so I commend you on that, as itís sometimes hard to capture the right level of innocence. You really pulled it off very well though!

I love thinking of a little Draco, heís just so darn arrogant and adorable!

On to the next review :D

Author's Response: No worries about the delay, I've been busy with real life too!

I loved the idea too! One of my friends has a couple pieces like this and I got the idea from her! Draco is a favorite character of mine (obviously) and I just got to writing a young him one day and decided to turn it into a little short story piece. :)

Getting into his character was very simple for me, even though I recognize more with Hermione and Luna personally. I did some research on him, added that to the canon him, and put my own little twist on him. I'm glad you thought he sounded like a ten year old, and his childish boasting was lots of fun to write. :)

Thank you for the challenge, and the wonderful review! :)
~MadiMalfoy xx


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Review #14, by Siriusly89Following the Footsteps: Wormtail

14th July 2013:
I'm always apprehensive about people writing Peter's POV, because they either make him out to be a sadistic monster, or try and justify his actions. I trust you though!

I like Peters thinking, he still likes his friends, but it sort of has an. . .edge? Yes, and edge to it which sort of foreshadows the future.

Ugh, Lucius Malfoy. Of course it would have to be him, wouldn't it? Evil canevil. Peter was strong though, but you can see that he has a sort of, bitterness inside him, and he is right, the temptation will be too much next time the poor thing. I like the way you wrote him though! I was right to trust you! You wrote him neutrally, didn't take sides, which is one of the reasons I chose to review your pieces!

Thank you for these and the one-shot! :D huuugs!

Author's Response: I agree that writing from Peter's POV is a huge challenge, mostly because the series places him in such an antagonistic position. We recognize him as the traitor before anything else, and that means a lot of bias comes through in stories. What I tried to do with this story was avoid as much bias as possible, preventing Peter from appearing either pathetic or evil. I see Peter as being slightly ambitious, but also incredibly anxious, the tension between these two opposing traits constantly threatening to tear him apart.

I'm really glad to hear that you liked how I characterized him in this story. I means a lot to hear that! Thank you again for reading and reviewing! :D


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Review #15, by Siriusly89Following the Footsteps: Moony

14th July 2013:
Awh! Angsty Remus. . . .

I hate that he feels so alone. But his insight into Peter really was spot on, wasn't it? James and Sirius really don't seem to notice it, but Remus does! Remus see's that he isn't quite so willing, or accepting!

Ah! Now I see it! Peter is so afraid that James, Sirius and Remus are going to drop him, that he gives himself bruises! Thats where he got the pain threshold to bite off his own finger! It all falls into place!

Remus describing the loneliness really got to me (the poor thing!) but then you sort of cheered me up with the little piece on Sirius and Remus' relationship! James was always a bit too happy-go-lucky to really understand what either of them were going through, wasn't he? You captured that so well here!

Only one more chapter :( sob!

Author's Response: I always imagined that Remus would have the most discerning eye of the Marauders, whether it be because of his wolfishness (which might allow him to see more, even in human more) or because his condition makes him less trusting of others. Yet in the end, just before Lily and James's deaths, he still suspects Sirius instead of Peter. It's interesting.

Anyway, thank you again for reading and reviewing! :D


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Review #16, by Siriusly89Following the Footsteps: Prongs

14th July 2013:
Chapter Two!

Oh James, the line about him not being in love with his broomstick but a -waitforit- GIRL made me laugh out loud! (bad idea seeing as its twenty past midnight and the rest of the house is asleep :P)

Ah James, you're hopeless. Lily really does hate him, doesn't she? Any normal lad would have given up by now (but we know the persistence pays off in the end!)

I am very serious, you portray them so well! Their advice, mannerisms, everything! I'm so glad I got to read these (and I still have two more chapters to go, whoop whoop!)

Aaaah! Lily said yes! I had a feeling she would, but lets face it, who doesn't love a happy ending?

See you in the next chapter!

Author's Response: Haha, it's so much fun to write James's perspective - after this story, I did it a couple more times because his voice just comes out so easily. He's laid back and careless, yet with an interesting hidden depth - on the whole, though, there's a lot less drama associated with his story, if any at all. It makes him entirely different to write, and I'm pleased to hear that you enjoyed how it turned out in this story. :D

Thank you for reading and reviewing again! I look forward to seeing what you think about the rest of the story!


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Review #17, by Siriusly89Following the Footsteps: Padfoot

14th July 2013:
Hi! Siriusly89 here (still!)

Words cannot say how much I love the Marauders, so needless to say I'm looking forward to reading your spin on them!

Sirius describing his feeling of freedom when he was disowned. Its a bit sad isn't it, that he feels that way. Then his casual way of saying he was disowned-so Sirius- and then Remus' reaction, you really have all their personalities down to a T!

Bellatrix, evil old (well young in this but still!) biddy! I loved James' plans for Snape though, personally I loved the plan to give him shampoo for Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for stopping by to read and review! I wasn't expecting any new reviews for this story - it's buried so far down my author page - but it's lovely to hear that you enjoyed this one-shot. This was my first real shot at writing them, and it was a great experience to work through the various cliches and canon facts to try and get at the character behind them.

It's sad that the only way Sirius could achieve the kind of freedom he wanted was by running away from home. How much does he try and hide behind his rebellious exterior, though - he sounds casual, but you can just imagine how confused and empty he must be feeling. There's exhilaration at the freedom, but also a sense of loss that I don't think he was ever able to cope with.


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Review #18, by Siriusly89Into the Darkness: Standing on the Edge

14th July 2013:
Hi! Siriusly89 here reviewing for House Cup 2013!

Wow, for a while there I thought the narrator was Peter Pettigrew, you know with all the talk of 'betrayal' and stuff! But its Severus Snape!

And then the insight into Severus during the Second War! I like how you portray that he really hasn't chosen sides-if it came down to it, he'd choose whoever was winning! To be honest, thats my canon for Severus Snape. Sometimes he gets a bit too Gryffindor for me, we have to remind ourselves sometimes that the man was a Slytherin for a reason!

I really enjoyed this one-shot!

Author's Response: Thank you! Haha, I never expected a review for this story, my oldest remaining on the site, but it's lovely to see that you enjoyed it. :D

It's interesting that you thought that Peter was narrating it - I'll have to look back to see. It's probably due to the fact that this story was only edited for HBP, not DH, but you never know - there's equally likely to be an interpretation of this story that I hadn't thought of! Those are always fun to come across.

I agree that Snape does become too "Gryffindor-like", especially in fanon, and it's not only important to also note his Slytherin side, but it's also more interesting. I still want to write another Snape story, this time about his work as a Death Eater - it would be like coming full-circle to return to the themes of this story.

Thank you again!


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Review #19, by Siriusly89Instinctual: Prologue

10th July 2013:
Sarahjane here with Review #5. Iím actually quite sad that this is the last review.

Okay, so at first glance, this main character seems a bit, well, depressed. Usually people stroll off into the forest for a bit of an adventure with their friends, not the way this girl does, as if sheís escaping for something. Ah, her brother died the poor thing, thatís whatís sheís escaping from.

Oh good! Iím glad that she seems eager to move on, not that she should go off skipping in the sunset and forget about her brother, but its good that she realises she canít live in the past, and thatís not what her brother would have wanted her to do!

Iím pretty sure Hagrid was in that meadow before, and that he has a good reason for avoiding it too (Harry faking being dead anyone?)

I like how she took up Astronomy in memory of her brother sort of, it proves what a close relationship she had with him. And then the centaurs allowing her in the forest is nice too!

She seems, very in control, but not in the same was as Abigail from ĎComplicatedí is. Itís sort of like, people arenít allowing her to break down, and that she has sort of accepted she canít and gets on with it. Itís odd, but very intriguing!

Oh! I like how you kept the fact sheís an Animagus concealed until the very end! That was a very nice touch!

Well, thatís the five reviews. Can I just say that itís been so fun reading all your pieces, and Iíll definitely be back for more!

Sarahjane

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Review #20, by Siriusly89Never Too Late: Never Too Late

10th July 2013:
Sarahjane with Review #4!

Oh wow, this is rather dark, isnít it? The poor girl, thinking that she actually deserves to be bullied. It just goes to show what bullying can do to people, I mean sheís self-harming, and Iím afraid for whatís going to happen later on in the whole thing, because that section ended off on a rather bad note, didnít it. Oh dear. . . .

Ah, so the girls name is Arianna! Itís nice to know that someoneís nice to her! Iím going to guess that this person is either Albus or James (Although it could be Marauders era, Iíll hold back my final decision for a later stage) but I just hope that whoever this is finds her before she does something terrible!

Yep! Next-Gen, but I canít get too into me celebrating being right, as sheís going to the Room of Requirement, sheís going there and hopefully James has the sense to follow her, because if he doesnít bad, bad thins are going to happen!

Those horrible little Ravenclaw cows! That is just so, so horrible! Okay, there are people in this life that I donít like and all, but what they are saying is just ridiculous! But at least James has finally twigged whatís going on, and bloody well run James, RUN!

Oh my God! Ariannas outside the room SHES OUTSIDE THE BLOODY ROOM! Where is James, why isnít he there yet? I get that Hogwarts is a big place but he needs to hurry because sheís already put in a request with the room and aaah! Bad, bad things are going to happen!

YES! Oh thank you everyone who is up there, thank you! Oh thank God! Sheís alright, James got to her in time. Oh thank God.

Oh this is so romantic. And not in the traditional way, but that sort of twisted romance that really has no place in the situation, but its there anyway and itís just beautiful and perfect? You know what I mean?

Oh God, you really got me all hyped up there for a while. This was even more thrilling than the Scrimgeour/Fudge one-shot you wrote! Bravo! Brava! *throws flowers and confetti*

Awh. The last review next time, Iíve really been enjoying myself.

See you in the next review!

Sarahjane

Author's Response: Hi Sarahjane!

Yes, this story's definitely a little dark, isn't it? I really hate that bullying can go this far, but sadly, it does.

James is definitely a sweetheart, but he's a little slow on the uptake, resulting in the speedy drama here. And yeah, those Ravenclaw girls are certainly not the nicest.

I'm so glad you think the romance works well and builds into the twisted theme. I'm so glad you enjoyed this one-shot, thanks so much for reviewing!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #21, by Siriusly89The Deal: The Deal

10th July 2013:
Sarahjane (again!) with review #3!

Why is Cornelius Fudge in a ships bathroom for a meeting? This already has me interested and Iíve read three lines! Ah! Thatís the explanation, whoever he was meeting with wanted to keep it low-key! Heís meeting with Rufus? As in the guy whoís Minister of Magic?

Whatís going on here? And whatís this about an envelope?

Ah, so Rufus has yet to become Minister, Cornelius still has his job (for now. . .) Wait! Hold it! Cornelius has been re-instated at Minister? But didnít some Death Eater become Minister after Scrimgeour died? Now Iím really confused.

Okay, so Rufus traded his life for complete control of the Ministry, but that still doesnít explain why Fudge is Minister. This is the best mystery Iíve read in a good while! And Fudge wants Voldemorts will, but why? And Iím not sure if Voldemort would even have a will? What would be in it? ĎTo Bellatrix, I give complete control of my army, and also enough money to get herself checked into the permanent ward in St. Mungoís!í

I know this probably isnít supposed to be a funny one-shot, but the image of Fudge fishing around in a manky loo, just to find out who Voldie gave sole custody of Nagini to, is too funny!

Oh. My. God. Scrimgeour planned the whole thing so he could get a bit of entertainment out of Fudge, while murdering him aboard Durmstrangs ship? WHAT? And then at the end, is this one-shot a bit AU? I think it is!

And how wrong Voldieís will was, because he died! HA!

Looking forward to the next one!

Sarahjane

Author's Response: Hi Sarahjane!

This is definitely an odd one-shot, haha. It's definitely a little AU - post-Hogwarts and Fudge has managed to become Minister again - but the prompt was so odd that it required a bit of manipulation of the plot. :)

I did find it a bit comical as well, in that everything's kind of dramatic and mysterious, yet it's all happening in a ship's bathroom, of all things.

I'm glad you enjoyed this one-shot, and thanks so much for the review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #22, by Siriusly89Complicated: Complication #2

10th July 2013:
Chapter Two! Excitement!

ĎAs usual, I look flawlessí- gosh Abigail, youíre just so darn modest.

Ah yes, Seamus Finnigan, mastermind of Ďblowing things upí. It seems fitting he attempted to draw Scarlettís boyfriend-person into the family business, doesnít it?

Awh. I sort of feel sorry for Abigail now. Sheís so self-centred, because she wants to be showered with the attention her parents donít give her. I donít want to feel sorry for her! Stop making me feel sorry for her! And yes, the whole platform situation does sound rather unpleasant, doesnít it?

Iím glad Abigail gets on with her fathers girlfriend, as usually in fan fiction, the girlfriend of the father is portrayed as the evil witch (excuse the pun :P). And again with buying Abigailís affection. Its sort of sad in a way, isnít it?

Oooh, harsh! Blaise stood Abigail up via note. She isnít going to take this well is she? And she broke a window. Who was right? Me! And she hates crying? Sometimes a good cry makes everything better! Iím a firm believer in cry-therapy!

And talk about putting a dampener on events for the end? Even though I donít particularly like her, I wanted to wrap my arms round Abigail and give her a biiig hug!

Another great chapterino!

Sarahjane

Author's Response: Hello again!

Yes, Abigail is just the epitome of modesty. :P

I did try to give Abigail at least a little bit of a backstory about why she might act the way that she does - it's no excuse, but it does help explain things. As for the platform scene, yes, that is uncomfortable - oh hey, look what time of year it is in the story! *hint hint* :D

Yeah, that scene made me actually pity Abigail instead of hold her away at arm's length like I normally do. :P

Thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #23, by Siriusly89Complicated: Complication #1

10th July 2013:
Hi! Siriusly89 here with Review #1 of your prize!

No more babbling, lets get to it! (Btw, I love the CI!)

I love Abigail already. Sheís one of those ĎIím beautiful and I so know it!í people, who really arenít that nice, but sure are fun to read about, if just because they are so conceited and shallow. Please tell me she gets a rude awakening at some point? She just has to.

ĎThe Leaky Cauldron is just ew, but itís a good place to be noticedí-grr. .sheís beginning to annoy me now, the little busy-body! Acting like lady of the manor. The way they all gossip, like little old ladies! But I agree, Fred Weasley sounds a little (meaning a lot) like a MW.

GIRL POWER! These girls are winning me back around. They werenít all simper-y and flirty with James and Fred (well, Scarlet is excused) who were acting like arrogant idiots, instead they played them at their own game (and won I might add!)

Brookeís comment was just genius. Sheís my favourite as of now!

Blaise seems nice enough, but knowing Abigail, heís shallow. I like that Abigail isnít immune to the teasing, that the girls still mess around with her, despite her being the Queen B! And Witch Weekly is shallow, really Abigail? Really?

Aaah! Canít wait to read the next chapterino now!

Author's Response: Hi Sarahjane! By the way, I love that chapter image too. TDA artists are really amazing, aren't they?

Abigail is definitely one of "those" characters - very full of herself and conceited. She's as much fun to write as she is to read, and getting inside her head is so entertaining! And yes, there may be a rude awakening in her future. :)

Yup, they are little busybodies - but they do have their redeeming qualities, hence the argument with James and Fred. And yes, I love Brooke's comment as well.

As for Blaise, I have plans for him... *cackles evilly* *looks embarrassed at failed attempt to cackle*

Thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #24, by Siriusly89Snapshots: Snapshots

26th June 2013:
Hi! Siriusly89 here from the ĎTo Kill A Mockingbirdí Quote Challenge,

Before we begin, just want to say thank you so much for entering!

The first, well Ďsectioní I suppose is really intriguing! The girl seems to be in two minds on whether she actually wants to look at the photographs or not, and itís sort of indecisive and you got that across really well!

Ha, I love it! The nosy eleven year old! I love it! I would have reacted the same way the girl did, for some reason the boy strikes me as one of those loud, boisterous people who have a tendency to break things. Ah! Itís Hugo Weasley, that explains a lot now doesnít it!

Anslee and Hugo are right messers arenít they? That memory made me smile, but it also made me a little apprehensive about whatís to follow, because this one-shot doesnít strike me as one thatís going to end with Hugo bursting into the room, interrupting her trip down memory lane so they can both skip off into the sunset!

That. Has. To. Be. The. Cutest. Way. To. Ask. Someone. Out. EVER. Hugo is such a little cutie pie, but I know that youíre just setting me up for disappointment, as the tone of Anslee during the Ďpresentí sections isnít exactly cheerful, is it? I hope nothing too bad happens, please?

The scene in the library was just more Hugo-ish adorableness, wasnít it? It was.

No, no this isnít fair! Hugo canít have died! I could have dealt with him and Anslee splitting up, or something to that effect, but not him dying! This just isnít fair! You sprung this out of nowhere. Iím rather sad now.

I thought your use of the quote was very well done, and I thoroughly enjoyed this one-shot! Well, it was enjoyable as it could be, but it was really well written, and to be honest, pretty darn close to perfect, and I just love when you read pieces like that, donít you? So thank you, thank you very much

Author's Response: Hello Sarahjane!

Anslee definitely has mixed emotions about looking at the pictures, and for good reason too! They basically dredge up all the memories she wants to forget.

I love eleven-year-old Hugo, he's just so in-your-face - classic Weasley though, isn't he? And the next scene was fun to write as well. I also loved using that sense of foreboding, just to remind the reader that this won't end up all hunky-dory. (on another note, did I really just use that phrase?)

Hugo's a cutie pie - I just loved writing about him... which really made it sadder because I knew what was going to happen to him. I apologise for making you sad, but then again, that was kinda the point, so I don't feel all that bad. ;)

"Pretty darn close to perfect" just made my day. Thanks so much for this amazing review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #25, by Siriusly89Protection: 1

24th June 2013:
Hello! Siriusly89 here from the ĎTo Kill A Mockingbirdí Quote Challengeí

Before I get on with the review, thank you very much for entering!

The treacle tart scene at the beginning was very nice. It sort of showed us why Harry loves treacle tart so much, it reminded him of his parents, as well as the broom polish. You gave my heart strings a good Ďol tug with the inclusions of those two details.

The whole thing takes a rather sudden turn, from an innocent day spent baking and messing around, to being told that Voldemort knew where they were and that unless they put one of their friends lives on the line, they were all as good as dead.

Siriusí reasoning was very well written, itís the sort of thing that Iíd imagine he would say, but it did seem a bit sedate to me, it was kind of missing a bit of urgency, but thatís just my opinion!

Gah! Your use of the quote! Again, a good Ďol tug on the heart strings! Lost for words. Lost.

This one-shot was very well-planned out and each interaction flowed well into the next, and my only critique is maybe adding a bit more panic to the whole shebang.

Thank you again for entering the challenge!

Author's Response: Hi!

I really like that book so it was my pleasure :) Thank you for your CC, I'm glad you pointed some things out that I could work on - you're right, it could've used some more urgency and a general panicky atmosphere.

Thanks for your nice review and helpful comments, and good luck with reviewing the other entries!


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