Reading Reviews From Member: blackballet
  
173 Reviews Found

Review #26, by blackballetMoney Can't Buy You Love: Instability

2nd September 2013:
I'm here from the review battle!

I think this is a really lovely one-shot. I didn't know where you were going with it at first, but I like how it ended up. I think, at times, it almost felt too much like a first chapter to me. That was mostly in the beginning when you were introducing some of the healers. The first sentence is also a bit jumbled and full of words.

Now to the fun stuff! Blaise is so well thought out in this, it's crazy. Going through the marriages helped explain why he's been this way and it's a great addition to the Family Challenge. I felt a bit of a Sirius and Blaise parallel with the ending, but that's just because I am obsessed with Sirius Black.

The best part for me was definitely when he noticed the picture of his mother and biological father. I loved how that changes his mind. It was bittersweet. Like, even though his mother is dead, she's still teaching him things.

Awesome one-shot, and I'll look forward to seeing you in the review battle!

Author's Response: Hello again blackballet :) Thank you for the lovely review!

Originally this fic was going to be a chaptered fic rather than a one-shot. I will be going to edit, so will see if I can make it seem less like a first chapter and more of a one-shot (or maybe I'll end up adding more chapters :-0 but I doubt that!) I'll also have a look at that first line, I see what you mean about it.

I'm so glad you thought Blaise had been well thought out :) I was worried about writing Blaise for the family challenge but then I thought about how many times his mother had been married. It struck me that this instability in his childhood would have had an affect on him and his decisions in life. And haha, I too am obsessed with Sirius Black, he is my favourite character ;)

I am so happy you liked that part with the picture :) It was one of the first things I thought of when planning the story and the rest of the plot came from that, so it is really great you liked it :)

Thank you again for the great review!

Haronione ♥


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Review #27, by blackballetFree Fall: Free Fall

30th August 2013:
I am here with your requested review!

I love the second person POV! I think it would be hard to do an entire novel like this, but it worked really, really well in this. It somehow multiplied the emotions and made it even sadder, more depressing. Which is unfortunately a good thing.

I think the flow of it works very well, and I love how you broke it up. However, people tell me that my stories don't flow very well so I would get a second opinion. I really enjoy the abrupt sentences and scene changes, so that's why I think it flows nicely.

I'm definitely moved by this, and I love the repetition in this. It gives it an overall sadness that one thing can fit so well into so many aspects of her life. Very well done.

The only CC I have is that it was a bit too vague in some places for me. I love your use of vagueness, and I'm not saying AT ALL to get rid of that. It's very poetic. I just think you could use a couple more literal words instead of imagery and symbolism. You also have a couple of words misspelled/misused, so scan this over for those when you have time!

I really loved this, I did. I only mentioned what I did to help you make the one-shot it's absolute best!

blackballet

Author's Response: Hi there!!

Thank you so much for the review! I will get a look at those misspelled words asap ;)

I'm really pleased you liked the POV, it's only the third time I'm trying it out, so it's still a bit rough around the edges.

Yeah, vaguenes. I get what you mean, but I really want that poetic feel to it. The metaphors and symbolisms are how I love my one shots. But I totally get where you're coming from, so thanks for the input - it's really useful!

Thank you so much for reviewing. It really means a lot.


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Review #28, by blackballetWaiting for the Train: Waiting for the Train

30th August 2013:
Hello, I am here with your requested review!

I think this is a really good start to the story, and I like how you introduced a professor so early. The envy from the older girls to Victoire was evident and very realistic. Your dialogue is very easy-going and your description is very nice. In the very beginning you definitely had the best description. I also like your characterization of Victoire. Most people depict her as very snarky and a bit vicious, but I like her all sweet and innocent like this.

Other than that, I don't really have much to say. This was a pretty interesting start, and I am excited to read more. I'm looking forward to your re-request!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I never read any depictions of Victoire so it is sort of a surprise too learn that.

I have a number of paths this story can go so it might be a while before I continue with it, either it being a short story or even a series of short stories.

On a role-play site I play both Fleur and Roger (Professor Davies in case that fact was missed) which is why I have a bizarre affinity for writing them. I have a practice rp between the two that I thought could make a good short story or two (I can link the rp to you if you want).

Again thanks for the help :)

JP


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Review #29, by blackballetI Saw Him Once : I Saw Him Once

29th August 2013:
I'm here with you requested review!

I definitely think this is very original. I've never read something about Luna out in the woods trying to find a creature. It's something very in character, and I love that her advanced knowledge is shown when she corrects Ned on having his wand out.

I think the song worked relatively well throughout the story. The only part that was a bit strange was the ending. it said something about her running away but then she came back and they were married. I understand that they married some time later, but when it says she ran away, it shouldn't be so literal. It's really tiny though, and I only pointed it out because you asked me to.

I generally really liked it and I thought all the regular checkpoints like flow and grammar were there and executed well. I think you could have a bit more description about how her voice was flowing and had a thin, quiet, but wise tone. Something like that to make it more Luna-esque.

Other than that, I really enjoyed this! I look forward to more being requested of me.

blackballet

Author's Response: Hello! I'm super sorry its taken a little while to respond to this, I can respond to shorter reviews on my phone but I prefer to answer longer ones on my laptop which has been broken!

Anyway, I'm really glad you thought the premise of the story was suited to Luna's character. I'm pleased you picked up on her advanced knowledge, I think Luna is portrayed in fanfiction far too often as a ditzy type but she's a ravenclaw for a reason ;)

I appreciate all of the CC, the ending definitely needs some tweaking. Description is something I'm trying to work on and your advice about her voice is great.

Thanks so much for the advice and the lovely review :)


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Review #30, by blackballetTurned to the Dark Side: Gone For Good

28th August 2013:
Hello there! I am here with the promised review from my challenge.

I think this is a good start, but I have a few things to say about it. I don't mind your POV switches, and I even use them in my own stories; it's just, I don't think it's necessary to underline everything. It seems to take away from the story and is a bit distracting. Also, in the part with the flashback, instead of using 'start of flashback' and 'end of flashback' you might consider using linebreaks which are found in the editing box on here. They are much cleaner. Some of your paragraphs, especially the one about her family, are too long. Try cutting them up a bit to make it more readable.

Other than all that, I'm really happily surprised with this. I knew Hannah would be a hard one, but you've done so well so far with the plot. I really do like it a lot, and I think you've used everyone's paranoia towards the Slytherins very well. It even seems like a Hufflepuff thing for her to be so accepting of Blaise.

Considering everything I've said, I think this is really great so far. I hope to read more of it in the future.

blackballet
P.S. I would watch out with the overuse of capitals for screaming. Try using more description instead. It will make you a more professional writer and your story will read much better. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'll take everything you've said into writing this story and other stories I'll write in the future. I'm glad you liked the story overall, and thanks for all the tips! :)

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Review #31, by blackballetIn Sickness And In Health: Healing in Hell?

27th August 2013:
I'm back again with your requested review!'

This chapter developed quite nicely, and I preferred it over the first chapter. Their interaction was very in character, so that was done nicely. I think that if anything Draco went from mudblood to Hermione too quickly. If he used another word besides mudblood at the beginning, or continued using Granger instead of Hermione it would make more sense to me.

When you said coma-lie, I'm sure you meant coma-like, but that was the only spelling mistake I noticed. Other than all that, I think you gave off the information very smoothly, and it all makes sense. It doesn't really seem too random if you know what I mean.

Thanks for requesting, and I hope you get your next chapter up soon.

Author's Response: Hi !

Oh good, I'm so glad to hear you say that!! It has been my worry about this chapter ever since i first wrote it, so its good to know it does flow okay! Okay cool, that is something that I will look at and change, thank you :)

Opps yes that's supposed to be come-like! I'll go back and change that when I put my third chapter up! Good to know that all my information makes sense! Yay!

I will try my best to get it up soon!

Blondie


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Review #32, by blackballetGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 2

26th August 2013:
I'm back for your requested review!

This one was definitely the most informative, and I'm glad we got to know more about Sadie. I think you introduced her character to us (the readers) very nicely. Sometimes when I'm writing I'm bad at giving information and it comes off like I'm listing things. You've done a great job, though. Awesome Mrs. Weasley!

You have definitely got your hands full with all of the little nooks and crannies that Sadie has. What with her being unable to speak, Harry's cousin, a fourth year, etc. I would just recommend getting it all planned out if you haven't already because I know complicated OC's can get a little hairy when you reach the middle of the story. (Personal experience)

I think you've definitely got the characterization of the entire Weasley family down. Nice job! I think Harry might have been a bit more pushy, because that's around the time he got all angsty, but he's still really good. I really think you've got solid characters, especially when Hermione told them not to pry. It was very in character.

Great job once again, and keep writing this! I'm really looking forward for another request of yours.

blackballet

Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to offer these reviews! They are very nice!

I have the "listing things" issue as well. I had to think for a long time to find a way to introduce Sadie without falling into that trap. Makes me very happy that you think it worked.

Oh, you liked Mrs. Weasley? Cool! I worry about writing her sometimes. I like to do it, and I feel like I understand her pretty well, but I don't want her to be too overly motherly, if you know what I mean. That's a huge part of who she is, but there's more as well.

I know. Sometimes I yell at myself and say, "what were you thinking with this plot," but I just really feel like it's how the story should go, so I'm going to try and maintain the balancing act. I have a lot of it planned out, and I actually have scenes written out for Sadie through many years, so hopefully that will help me maintain her character and keep things straight.

I do love my Weasleys, so thank you very much! And thanks so much for all the compliments! Your reviews have been so much fun to read. I will make sure to re-request when I put up the next chapter.

Thanks so much!


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Review #33, by blackballetIn Sickness And In Health: The Battle

26th August 2013:
I am here with your requested review from the forums!

You really jumped right in! I liked that a lot, because many authors, including myself, are afraid to do that. Your description is overall very good, if not a bit spotty in some places. The part where Harry comforted Hermione was very nice, as well as when they were walking up to the castle. It's lacking in some other parts, but it's not noticeable unless you are looking for it.

I don't know if the small scene with Hermione and Draco was placed quite at the right time. It broke up the flow a bit for me, and seemed forced. I think it might go better if Hermion sees him at the end of this chapter, and it spills over into the next. But that's just my opinion! I think if you reworked it a bit it will work nicely inside this chapter.

Something else I noticed was that you refer to Hermione and Harry with their last names, which I don't think is necessary, as we are already going to assume that you are talking about them. It would've worked with an OC, but everyone knows Harry and Hermione!

Finally, your characterization was really good for the mindset that your characters are in at this point. I liked Draco's little period of reflection, and I can't wait to read more about his relationship with his father.

Very nice overall, and I'll be waiting for another request!

blackballet

Author's Response: Wow, thanks for such a great review!!
I'm glad you think that jumping right in was a good idea. I ooohed and aahhed about it for ages when i first wrote it, wondering whether or not people would feel uncomfortable starting so abruptly, but i figured because the main attention isn't on the war in this story that starting there shouldn't be too much of a problem.

I was worried about the scene with Hermione and Draco also. It is one that i'm hoping if i get a Beta i can go over with. I'm not good with plot flow, it's one of my weaknesses and i need to try and strengthen on it. Hopefully i will!

I didn't even think of that! I'm going to go back now and re-edit it! Thank you for pointing that out haha!

Oh that's awesome, i do get worried about my characterization so to hear that it seems right for the time is a good relief!

Thank you very much, i have just gone and re-requested!! Thanks for reviewing!

Blondie


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Review #34, by blackballetWaging war: Waging War of Tonks Lupin

26th August 2013:
I am here with your requested review!

I really like this story even though I have never read from Tonks' point of view. I think, if anything, the switching between time periods is a bit too confusing. Everything else was great!

The ending was really perfect, and you managed to build up an emotional connection between the reader and Tonks very quickly.

I was almost squealing when Remus and Tonks met like that it was so adorable. I think your description in that section was the best you had through the whole story. Just keep that part up throughout the whole piece. You're missing descriptions in some places that really need it; I got lost a bit at some parts.

Her thirst for revenge grew very realistically in this, and that was definitely the most believable part.

Thanks for writing and requesting a review from me. Keep on working!

blackballet

Author's Response: Thanks for the review :)
I have participated in family challenge so this switching in periods was to show the different time she spent with her family members.
I would keep your suggestions in mind if I try this again.
Thanks for suggestions and compliments :D


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Review #35, by blackballetThe Curse. : The Curse

25th August 2013:
Hello there I'm here with my review for my challenge.

I think this is really interesting, and I think you had a really good idea for it. I would just have to say that the whole thing seems a bit rushed. The scene between her and her father was probably the most rushed and just a bit confusing because it wasn't spaced out properly.

I liked the part with the articles the best, I think. I don't know why, but maybe it's because I've never seen information relayed that way or something. It was a good use of the Daily Prophet. I liked how she killed herself at the end as well. I think it almost shows how she couldn't live with what she did to Harry, but still couldn't stop killing people (the aurors).

Great job! Good luck in the challenge

blackballet

Author's Response: Thanks so much. I'm sorry if it seems rushed..I would go back and edit it but I don't know if it would be validated by the deadline so for now I'll leave it as is.

I'm glad you love the articles I've never seen that done before in a story so I tried to do something different.

Thanks again!


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Review #36, by blackballetWhere The Dust Blows: The Knock On The Door

23rd August 2013:
Oh gosh...this is going to be one heck of a ride, you're right. I'm here with the review from my challenge!

Whoa, I love Neville. And you know how to sting a girl in all the right places when you mention faded Gryffindor colors. You have got a thing for imagery and wild, wild descriptions.

I can't possibly imagine how you made Neville like this (I don't want to say the exact trait because then I might ruin it for some people, I don't know). It does make me terribly sad, though. I can't believe I've done this to you!

I think it's interesting how people not only shun Neville, but are scared of him. That will be very important to the story. As well as the old Neville new Neville bit. Inspired.

I will definitely read more of this. I feel obligated as I've set this burden on you, and I am really enjoying it!

Good luck to your wonderful story!
blackballet

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for issuing this challenge, I plan to go all out with this one!

I'm so glad someone picked up on that! I thought I was being clever but you picked it up immediately. I never stated "Gryffindor" colours, but just added in there subtlety, so yeah.

I think saying that I have a "thing" for description is the biggest compliment I could have ever received. As an author I have major problems with description; I always want to skip ahead to the dialogue. I think the lack of dialogue is why I could pull this off, plus lots of help and motivation from friends over at the forums.

I sat down with one of my friends and we went all crazy and started devising theories on how Neville could rule the world... And this kind of happened :P I'm so glad you did assign me this character though!! I get to work on something really tough: description and making everyone hate a lovable character!

Yes, that will be very important to the story... But you won't find that out until the very end.

Oh, don't feel obligated to come back and read at all! I'm glad you still like it!

Good luck judging, I'm sure it'll be tough.
Nadia



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Review #37, by blackballetGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 1

23rd August 2013:
I definitely like this chapter just as much as the first. It was very informative, but not in an overwhelming way like I do. I'm still a bit lost on Sadie, but I'm sure she'll speak up once she gets to Hogwarts.

I think McGonagall's a good characterization of JK's version. I especially liked the very beginning where she got interrupted with her book. It's happened to me too many times to count!

I think the peek inside Sadie's head was also a very good device. She didn't break character by all of a sudden talking, but we still got to see what she was thinking. And the fact that she's still afraid of leaving even though she hates the city is just brilliant. It may be quite frightening at times, but it's still beautiful. I loved that part. I want to give it a kiss.

Your description has kept up in this chapter, as well, and I hope you stay with that because that's a valuable gift in writing.

And oh, Mrs. Ophelia Oddsocks is quite the OC. She was a very nice addition to the chapter and helped it along rather than just being Sadie and McGonagall. I hope we see more of her.

Another great chapter, and I can't wait for your next update!

Author's Response: *sighs* Sometimes I hate computers. Had this review all typed up, hit preview, but forgot to actually post it. I'm an idiot. LOL.

Thanks so much for reading! I'm very glad you enjoyed it. And I'm also a little glad that Sadie is still a bit of a mystery to you. That's kind of what I was hoping for, so it's nice to know it's working.

McGonagall is fun to write, but hard. Really makes me feel good you think I did her justice. And don't you just hate it when someone interrupts you in the middle of a good book?

Also happy you liked the peek inside Sadie's mind. Blushing from your compliments, actually. Although, you might want to hold off on actually kissing it...can't be good for your computer. hehehehe

I'm so happy and surprised at how much people have liked Mrs. Oddsocks! If I'd known she was going to be this popular, I might have included her in the story more. But, still makes me happy to know she was liked.

Thanks again for reading! So nice to have people how like what you write. And, I think I'm going to change from updating every two weeks to once a week, so I'll probably post tomorrow, if you're interested.

Thanks again!
-Farmgirl


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Review #38, by blackballetWhen They Fell: Prologue

23rd August 2013:
Wow. I am here for your requested review, and stories like this is why I have it!

I think I've really stumbled upon something great. I like how Harry and Ginny aren't in love anymore, argue about things, and I feel bad saying it, but I'm glad they're splitting up in this. I think it will give Lily more depth as a character.

I like how you've spaced things out by time, although you might want to make the time changes a bit more clear with line breaks. Just a suggestion!

It's also very nice that you left off the end of that chapter with Lily thinking because that will lead into her being the main character. It was perfect! I hope we get to see equally Ginny as much as we do Harry if they are prominent in this story. I already have ideas about how this will go, and I'll be going to bed thinking about it!

The only thing I wasn't so sure about was having so many characters introduced in the first chapter. It can get a bit confusing, but that's coming from someone who doesn't know next generation as well as she should!

I didn't notice any grammar or spelling mistakes, so kudos for that.

Thank you for writing so well,
blackballet

Author's Response: I'm so sorry for taking so long to respond to this review. I was so busy, I did not have time. I'm really glad you you think my story has the potential to be really great.Thank you for the lovely review, even though my response was quite rushed and I hope you don't think too badly of me. :)

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Review #39, by blackballetGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Prologue

23rd August 2013:
Whoa! Let me just say, I'm so happy that you're a Charmed fan. Maybe I should get my review thread edited to allow for Charmed crossovers. Although I'm glad you did say it won't really be a crossover and that you're just borrowing some ideas.

Anyway, it's a very interesting and intriguing start. I thought that this was your OC, so I was confused when she was on the streets because I thought she would be able to do magic. As I continued reading, I threw the idea that this was your OC away. Then at the end you surprised me even more by saying that she recognized the wand.

You're a great writer, and I don't really think you need any grammar help. If you did have any errors, I didn't notice them.

Going back to your requested question...I think this is so far a very interesting character. She has clearly had a very troubling and disturbing past, so people will definitely be interested in that! I will elaborate more on this if you get a to request again.

This was a great start overall, and I am very excited to read more.
blackballet

Author's Response: Yeah, I forgot about that little part about Charmed in the author's note when I re-quested, so I'm glad you believed me when I said it wasn't a crossover and still wanted to read. :D And also glad you like Charmed! Makes it easier for you to understand my explanation.

Just to clear up your confusion, it WAS my OC in the prologue - the girl on the streets in the rain. But it's actually okay to me that you were a little confused, because I was trying to be kind of mysterious and create a lot of questions. So, yes, she is on the streets, but yes, she does know what a wand is. As to whether she can do magic - I'll let you wait and see on that one.

Aw...thank you so much! Your praise is amazing!

I re-requested cause I'm really curious to see what you think after reading the first chapter and hopefully have a few questions answered (and probably creating more at the same time.) Thanks so much for a wonderful review! Just finished a long day of teaching lessons and this was so fun to find afterwards.

-Farmgirl


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Review #40, by blackballetThe Last Keepers Of The Light: Chapter One

22nd August 2013:
I think this is a very great stat!

On the forums, you mentioned some pointers on the flow of the chapter. I think you did a very nice job here. It flowed very easily between the few scene changes, so it wasn't anything distracting.

One thing I did find distracting was the use of 'i' instead of 'I'. Make sure you get those! You also spelled Blanc wring the first time you used to it.

But anyway, back to the good stuff. I think it's very interesting that your OC was in Slytherin. We always see those from the other three houses being tortured of imprisoned for information. I think her being a muggleborn plays a big part into her character, as well.

I think you started off the topic of the Holy Grail very nicely. I'm assuming this will be the main plot. I'm almost as excited as the Death Eaters to know what it's about!

Please request again when you can. I'd love to read more.

Author's Response: Oh wow this was quick! Haha thank you!

I'm so glad you think that the flow of this story is good and the scene changes aren't distracting. It was one of my main concerns.

I'll try my very hardest to keep on top of the grammer mistakes, maybe I'll need a BETA reader for that after a few more chapters.
I'm glad you like the way I've placed Imogen in slytherin, I thought it would be interesting for death eaters to torture 'one of their own'.

Thank you so much for this review and the fact you like this story! I will most deffinitly ask for a review again haha :)


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Review #41, by blackballetBreakoff Altitude: Prologue

21st August 2013:
Hello, I am here with your requested review.

I am excited to say that I have never not once read something with Amelia as a main character. This is a very great start. I think your high point as a writer is definitely your wonderful description. Some people do not spend enough time at it, and I think it's great how you spend so much time on the littler things.

You were a bit too vague, I believe, on the relationship status for some people. I did notice the finer points, like the bruises on his neck and her references to public affections. It fit her character very well, and I can already see who she is even in the first paragraph which is a very spectacular talent. The fact that she speaks almost completely in an inner monologue also lends itself to her character.

Overall, it was a very nice introduction to both characters, and I am definitely excited to read more. I look forward to your re-request!

Blackballet

Author's Response: Thank you so very much. I really appreciate your time!

You've completely made my day. We didn't want to give away too much of the plot because it may become an important part but good to know and I'll keep that in mind.

Cheers,
handknittedsweaters


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Review #42, by blackballetFirst Name Terms: Appetite

21st August 2013:
This was an interesting first chapter. I think it was a bit too fast paced for all that went on. The beginning flowed nicely, but Draco and Hermione's interaction was too rushed. I think if you add a bit more description you'll be on your way!

I like Hermione's inner monologue the best. I think her characterization was very good in that section. Your dialogue needs a bit of work mostly, but you definitely have great potential! Keep writing

Author's Response: Hi there!

I totally understand! This was my first fanfic, and therefore my first ever chapter on this site, and I just really wanted to dive into the plot :D That would explain the fast pace-ness. I do intend to go back and edit roughly though, I'm glad you pointed it out!

Ah. Description. My worst nightmare. I'm really working on it though, especially for your challenge!

Yay, I'm glad you liked some of it :P Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #43, by blackballetRon Weasley: The Turning Point: Apparating

20th August 2013:
I am here with my review from my challenge!

I think this is off to a very nice start, and I will continue reading to see what happens with Ron's character. I like reading from Ron's point of view. You have definitely captured him and his mindset during the Deathly Hallows very well. I think that this was also very realistic to the situation.

Fleur and Bill were also nice additives. I think Bill fit his character description FROM THE BOOK very well. I always thought they messed him up a bit in the movies. I like his personality here, very understanding and more laid back. I think Fleur matched JK's version of her as well. All together, a very nice job on your first chapter!

Author's Response: uh-oh... Im not a fan of the word nice.. to a certain extent it feels like I am being 'damned with faint praise' !
On the other hand, I prefer to look at things from the glass half-full perspective, and as such think that it is lovely that you do think it is nice! I am glad you feel I have captured Ron's mindset appropriately. the trick will be now to try and turn it evil! argh! (this is hearbreaking)
Also, I am glad you like Bill. Harry used the word "cool" to describe him, and I think you are right, the movies kinda missed that aspect of him.

Thankyou for the review and for such a fascinating challenge, I am really loving it!


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Review #44, by blackballetBlood Ties: Curiosity happens for a reason

19th August 2013:
I'm, here for your review from my challenge!

I think this is a very interesting start, and I love reading fics where adults are the main characters, even though I do write from teenage perspectives a lot. I'm not so sure where Tonks is going to turn bad, but I will definitely read and review every chapter up until the deadline of my challenge. It's hard for me to judge, as Tonks isn't evil yet so I hope you get more chapters in by the deadline so you can have a chance to win! I think you definitely have a contender here with your writing ability and plot.

I noticed a few mistakes, like annd and sge, but they're very minuscule and didn't take away from the story. I like your characterization of Andromeda the most, I think. I'm a big advocate for interesting characters, because I completely and full-heartedly think that they make a story. I love how she is still very strict. Some people forget who she grew up with, and make her very sweet and easy-going. I like that you thought about her a lot. Even if you didn't, it looks like you did, and I thoroughly enjoyed her part in this.

Thank you for writing such a beautiful piece, and if you would PM me to let me know when the second chapter is up, then I would be very grateful. If you forget, don't worry, I'll check your entry the day the challenge has ended.

Good luck to you and your story!

Author's Response: Heya! Glad to have you by :)

Writing from a teenager's POV is somewhat difficult for me because as far as I remember, I never had mood swings, whims, I never fell in love very often, arguing with my parents because I wasn't happy about something they made me do, so I can't directly relate to that. I'd have to research it a bit haha. I know that sounds weird but I remember myself as being responsible, being friendly to everyone, never talking out of turn, etc.

I am very excited about this idea and I don't want to rush it. I want to take it slow, gradually, so that Tonks's change makes sense and comes naturally. I don't mind if you exclude me from your finalists, because I'm almost sure I won't have Tonks switch sides until the deadline of your challenge :( I hope however, that that won't stop you from coming back and reading this story because it was mostly thanks to you that I had the idea ;)

I haven't read many Andromeda stories so I can assure you that I have no idea how she is portrayed by other authors. However, I imagined that even if Andromeda fell in love with a Muggle-born and ran away from home with him, and generally seems a more genuine, likeable person, it's impossible to wipe out her childhood and the way she was raised. Something HAD to remain ingrained in her personality. This is how I imagine her: strict bur fair, loveable but not overly sweet and a perfectionist, which will lead to interesting character interactions between herself and Tonks later on. You'll see ;)

Thank you so very much for reading and reviewing. I'm pleased to know that you enjoyed my first chapter :D


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Review #45, by blackballetA Minor Setback: Chapter Six

16th August 2013:
I think this is one of your better chapters! I really got invested in it, and I liked the part at the end with Albus. I think Seraphina was more in character at the beginning of the chapter than the end. It was mostly because of Albus obviously, so it worked. I also liked when she told that girl to be careful and that she would definitely regret what she was about to do. That was very clever!

I can't wait for you to keep writing more of this

Author's Response: Heyo! Sorry for replying so late but I'm doing it now!

Thank you so much, I'm glad that you think that and I agree, this is definitely one of my better chapters. I also agree with the fact that Seraphina was more in character at the beginning but the way that I thought about it was that she's trying to get the hang of being friendly and it seemed like something a friend would do.

When I wrote that part, I figured, if I was in Seraphina's situation, I'd probably warn someone as well just to keep whatever had happened to me from happening to someone else.

I'm glad that you enjoyed it!


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Review #46, by blackballetJigsaw Falling Into Place: One of the Boys

16th August 2013:
When I began reading this, I was not sure what to expect at all, and I'm glad to say I was happily surprised. I like how Pansy used to be more carefree, and that definitely carried your theme of the idea that bad changes when you grow older. Pansy is one of those characters I think we don't see enough of, and I think this was a great view into what her life would've been like. You are also a very nice writer, which helps me enjoy the story.

Thanks for writing so well!

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Review #47, by blackballetVegas: 1

14th August 2013:
This was very sweet. I did notice that it's a short story, but it says it's completed in the description! If this is the whole story, you might want to change it to one-shot. I kind of hope you do a prequel to this, about novel length! I think it would be really interesting to see where and how they both grew up. I like how you made Lucas American, therefore having no (or little) knowledge of the Weasley's. I think you fit their time travelling together very nicely by the use of pensieve, so that made it seem longer than it really was. I fell in love with Lucas and Molly!

Great job, and I hope to see more from you in the future.

Author's Response: Ah thank you. I've got a prequel/sequel in the works. It's a bit hard to explain but one chapter will be from Molly's past and then the next will be the future from her pov and then Lucas' past and future from his pov. It's a bit complicated and that's why it's taking longer to write. Thank you for the sweet review I'm glad you enjoyed this :)

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Review #48, by blackballetPost Scriptum: His Other Home

13th August 2013:
Whoo hoo! This was another great chapter. The beginning made me very, very hungry considering I haven't eaten yet. I love how you've written Regulus. When I first began writing, I swore I would always hater Regulus, but lately I've been loving him more and more.

He's very observant of Sirius and his friends, which is interesting. It's like Regulus is jealous but annoyed with how they act.

I think the cake topper was when Slughorn asked him to be in the Slug Club not two seconds before mentioning Sirius again. Poor Regulus.

Like I said before, he's also observant with the members of his own house. He handled situation very well, and I can see that he is an exceptional liar, which coincides with his small canon part.

You've kept his character up through the first couple chapters, and it's very impressive. It showed when he was speaking with Severus about Lily as well.

Good job, as always!

blackballet

Author's Response: Hah, yeah, writing feasts always makes me hungry :)

Regulus does seem to be kind of popular among readers of this story. I think it's because I deliberately tried to portray him as a troubled adolescent faced with choices that he feels are too big for him - I'm sure most of us could relate to that at one point or another.

Regulus is in the unusual situation of being a shadow to his older brother and yet commonly being perceived as better than Sirius in terms of his House and family loyalty. Neither position allows him a lot of room to develop his own personality and his own talents. As you mentioned, there is clearly more to him than meets the eye.

Thanks for your very kind review :)

-Amanda


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Review #49, by blackballetProblems: Problems

13th August 2013:
Oh that was so adorable! I loved the parallel between the beginning and the end. I really just love parallels of any kind. At first, I was afraid Victoire was going to be mean and cold towards Teddy, and I was going to start bawling because poor Teddy and his problems. But you are not like me apparently and like when your characters have happy lives. I wish I could be like that.

Then, somewhere in the middle, I started feeling bad for Victoire because Teddy was being so unbelievably oblivious and she was putting herself out there and oh it got me right where it hurts. Then everything works out. I definitely need to borrow some of your happiness, if you don't mind.

Until next time,
blackballet

Author's Response: I love parallels too! That's part of the reason why I included it, but I was a little worried about it being repetitive and rather crude, but I'm glad you didn't think so.

Aww! Victoire being mean and cold would have been horrible! It would have made for some interesting story, but I wrote this for a fluff challenge, and I do love writing fluff, so I couldn't have that happen!

And of course Teddy was so blindingly oblivious! I mean, have you seen what Ron and Harry were like at that age?

And there's plenty of happiness to go around! Thanks for dropping in!


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Review #50, by blackballetBelief: Christmas Dinner

12th August 2013:
Oh, this is so sweet and sad. Very bittersweet. I love how he said he doesn't believe in the war, almost in denial. He only believes in Lily, and I think you described his love for very well.

I'm so glad you wrote and I read this!

Author's Response: I think "bittersweet" is a great way of characterizing this story. It's great to hear that James's love for Lily came out as a major theme and you liked getting to see his perspective.

Thanks for another kind review :)

-Amanda


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