Reading Reviews From Member: blackballet
178 Reviews Found

Review #1, by blackballetShadowplay: Twenty-Six: No Regrets

28th May 2017:
Oh my gosh I had no idea how attached I was to Remus and Aislin until I read that last scene. I'm obsessed.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #2, by blackballetImmortal Misconceptions: Insert Plan B Into Slot A

12th May 2017:
Hello I am here for the B v B review battle!

Wow this was hilarious! I love Voldemort's inner voice so much; he is exactly how parody Voldemort should be. The same with Bellatrix. His reasoning for his need for an heir was a great scene, and really added to his parody. Voldemort would never question himself! I also love the digressions of send the Death Eaters off on day trips- hilarious! You should definitely try out some more comedy or at least parody!

Thank you for the great read,

Author's Response: Hey Blackballet, long time no see! Thank you for reviewing this - and I'm so glad you liked it! I have a few more comedy/parody stories in the offing, so keep an eye out for them :)

Brax X

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Review #3, by blackballetPresent and Future: Chapter 1

21st January 2017:
Hello there! I’m here for B v B on the forums!

I really enjoyed this story, and it seems very original even though I haven't read many Teddy/Victoire stories. I really appreciated Victoire's characterization because it is very distinct. The audience will always be able to identify her. Congrats on creating such a strong character!

There were just a few things that stuck out to me. I find it a bit strange that she says “Oh yeah, I forgot to mention…” only because the reader has never before been addressed by Victoire. It might make more sense if you just said “Today is my birthday,” or something along those lines.
Also, every time you end dialogue with an exclamation point or question mark, there doesn’t need to be a comma afterwards as well. Just something small to refine your writing.

Other than that, I really enjoyed this as a first chapter!
Keep up the good work,


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed the story so far :) To be honest, I had no idea I was turning Victoire into such a strong character but I'm fine with what I've created ;) As for my punctuation, I guess I still have a lot to learn :P Thanks for pointing it out though, I'll make sure not to add comas after question marks in the future

Once again, thank you for reviewing! :)

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Review #4, by blackballetThe Witching Hour: Two

19th January 2017:
This is just another wonderful chapter! I'm so drawn in by your characterizations; they are just wonderful. I particularly enjoyed the part where Albus' name is discussed. It was very original, and gives the reader a greater insight to both of their characters. Just lovely!
One thing that stuck out to me was the idea that Sunny just had to send that text. It might be more believable as more than just a plot device if she had forgotten to text her parents or something along those lines- just a suggestion. Otherwise, this was another fantastic job and you had me leaning on the edge of my seat once more!

Thanks for the read,

Author's Response: Hello and thank you for another lovely review!

Hehe! There was a reason behind the "forgotten text" - she hadn't forgotten at all! The magic surrounding Harry's cottage near the coast, invisible to muggles, meant that any muggles getting too close would urgently need to scurry away do some menial task or other.
Sometimes, I need to remember that all the little things in my head are not always obvious to the reader, so it's great to be reminded of that and to include some reference in the future :)

Thank YOU for taking the time to read and review :)

Brax X

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Review #5, by blackballetThe Witching Hour: One

18th January 2017:
Hello, I'm here for the BvB Review Battle,

Oh my gosh, this was so sweet! It gave me the feeling of a slow build even in such a short time, and I can't wait to see where you go with these characters even in the next chapter. I love their shared fascination with the sky, and I also loved how it's clear Sunny is a muggle and Al is a wizard. The exposition was perfect, because you didn't outright tell the reader anything; loved it! The only minor error I found was technically: after dialogue is over, there should be a comma right before the closing quotation mark. That's easily fixed, though.

I'm really excited to see more of your story!
Thanks for the great read,

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your lovely review - it really made me smile!

I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter :) and thank you for bringing the dialogue commas to my attention. I tend to overuse commas where they aren't needed and neglect to add them where they should be! I'll comb through and fix them :)

Hope you continue to read and enjoy :)

Brax X

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Review #6, by blackballetFluorescent Adolescent : more than nice

16th January 2017:
ugh that last scene- officially done

with love,

Author's Response: i hope the rest doesn't disappoint! thanks again for reviewing xxx

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Review #7, by blackballetFluorescent Adolescent : crushed moon extract

16th January 2017:
This is so great! I love the characterizations, although I'm still having a little trouble with the names (I'm sure that will come with time). There are a couple of mistakes as well (terrorises where it should actually say terrifies) but nothing that is unintelligible. Overall, this is a really nice chapter and I can't wait for more!


Author's Response: hahaha thank you so so much! yeah, i'm totally aware that the overload of characters can be quite overwhelming & even off-putting, so thanks so much for persevering! it was just super important for me to create an atmosphere of loads of students, a heavy, heaving school social environment, even from the first chapter. thanks again for leaving such a helpful review ! xox

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Review #8, by blackballetOff Beat: The Assignment

16th January 2017:
Wow I can't believe this is your first story! It's so impressive! I love your dialogue. It's incredibly fluid, and the characterization of Ginny is just insane. I am really engaged by this story, and know that it will be one of the greats.

Can't wait to read more!


Author's Response: Oh my gosh that is beyond sweet. Thank you so much!!

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Review #9, by blackballetLife After: Chapter One

16th January 2017:
Hi there! I saw this on the recently updated page, and thought I would try it.

It was a really engaging first chapter, and am excited to read more. There are a couple little mistakes, like missing commas and other punctuation after dialogue, but other than that, there don't seem to be any mistakes. I also really enjoyed your descriptions, especially in the flashback section.

One thing that I personally didn't understand was the 2002 sentence. It felt out of place, and I couldn't understand why Draco was asking that.

I can't wait to read more, and will be watching for more chapters for sure!


Author's Response: Hi Balckballet,

Glad you enjoyed it.
I actually started writing this a long long time ago but retook it recently. When I first wrote it, they were going to be students at Hogwarts in their last year. But now that I'm older I thought it better to be post-Hogwarts.

I'd be glad to do more editing to it over time.

I'm still trying to decide the structure of the story but what I have in mind, I think this will be long and it will make more sense over time...

The 2002 reference is because they are 22 years old at that time.

If it took place in 2016/2017 they would be 35/36. However, there will be more time jumps. From now and from then.

Hope that made sense!
Still waiting on a chapter validation and currently writing another one :)

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Review #10, by blackballet'Dromeda: 'Dromeda

2nd September 2015:
Hi there! I’m here for our review swap from the forums.

First of all, I love how you started this one-shot. I love how you hinted that no matter which Black it was, they’d have a reputation of some sort. It was perfect, especially for Andromeda’s character.
I also love how she describes Bellatrix. It’s so exact and specific, like Andromeda constantly studies her sister. It doesn’t seem contrived. Andromeda clearly wants her sister back.
There’s one small mistake I found. In the paragraph starting with “Where’s Cissy?” there’s a ‘so’ where there should be a ‘she’. Lucius is also spelled wrong in the next paragraph.
Again, I really adore the relationship with Andromeda and Bellatrix.
I also love the introduction of Narcissa. It seems that Andromeda is really protective of Narcissa which is a lovely trait that I would definitely associate her with.
Okay now that the introduction of the characters are over, we get into the really juicy part!

Oh gosh, this is so intense. I love how the sisters are kind of flat, actually. Especially Narcissa. I know that eventually Narcissa evolves, but I think, right now, she’s just a girl who thinks like her parents and wants to be pretty. And when they see the marauders, they automatically go to pick a fight. It’s so simple and childlike, and seems like something Bellatrix would pull as a teenager.
Your introduction of Ted is a scene I truly adore. I love how Andromeda is offended when he calls her a man, even though it’s clearly colloquially. She is also insulted by his swearing which is so in character. It really presents her as a Black. And then at the end, she is intrigued just enough, and it really plays well into the next section.
Awww! That was completely adorable! I wish that this was a longer story so I could see how Ted breaks Andromeda out of her shell even more than he already has. ‘Dromeda was the perfect title for this perfect little one-shot.
Love your one-shots!


Author's Response: Hello! :D

First I'd just like to say thank you for such a lovely review! I think this is something that I'm really proud of so I'm so happy that's it's been so well received! :) Also thank you for pointing out he small errors, I will definitely get straight to changing those!

I think that they were definitely all memorable in Hogwarts for their own reasons, not just Sirius as the pranker, also I was kinda trying to get a slightly less marauders bias take on this part as well, so explore the 'baddies' for someone who is constantly with them, which was really fun!

I think its so important that Andromeda had a strong relationship with both of her sisters and thats what makes everything so sad, having to leave them and being disowned. Particularly Bellatrix and I'm kind of trying to portray the idea that this is the point where they have started to drift apart which ends up with a huge gap in their beliefs!

I love Ted and Andromeda! they are just so adorable and I'm so happy that you like it and thought it was sweet!:D There will be more Tedromeda, in one shot form so keep an eye out! :D

Thank you again for the feedback and the lovely comments!

Katie :)

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Review #11, by blackballetFirst Kiss: Chapter 1

1st September 2015:
Oh my gosh I was completely not expecting this! When Ron pushed Harry away so roughly, I was a little taken aback. I thought Ron was being a little harsh. It came together so poignantly when Ron came out of his trance. It was so perfectly bittersweet. I can't believe you fit so much emotion into such a short story. Romione is not my favorite ship, but it didn't matter in this.

It felt incredibly genuine, and it really was the darkest turn from fluff that I've ever seen. Good luck in the challenge, and good luck on reaching your goal of 100 challenges!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you for the review!

I'm happy to hear that you weren't exactly expecting what was happening with Ron. I really wanted it to be a surprise.

I'm not much of a Romione shipper either, but due to challenges I've had to write them several times, so I'm starting to grow a bit more fond of them after all.

I'm so thrilled that you thought it was a successful dark turn. Thank you for the well wishes! (I'm at 41 challenges complete now. :D )


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Review #12, by blackballetAtonement Is Coming: Nightmares And Caterwauling Charms

24th August 2015: maybe it wasn't Draco. Anyway, can't wait to read more!


Author's Response: Definitely not Draco in this story. As you see in this chapter, he may actually be a victim.

Thanks for stopping by to read this!


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Review #13, by blackballetAtonement Is Coming: The Dungeon

24th August 2015:
Ah! I'm even more excited about this chapter. I'm going to predict that this mysterious figure is Draco Malfoy. I could be completely wrong, and you don't have to acquiesce me, but I feel that this would be a good redemption story for him.

Also Minerva seems like the type of person to know how to deal with a kidnapper. She'll tell him everything he asks, but no more.

Can't wait for the next one, honestly!


Author's Response: Ohhh...predictions! I don't want to tell you if you're right or wrong, but you'll find out if you read into the next chapter!

Minerva is no doubt as much in control as one can be after being kidnapped.

I'm so glad you're enjoying this!

Thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #14, by blackballetAtonement Is Coming: A Surprise Announcement

24th August 2015:
Okay, so I love this chapter even more. I do this excessively in my novel Valour, which I'm almost embarrassed to admit. In one chapter, everything is going to the toilet and in the next everything is blossoming. I can't wait to see when everything comes together and ruins Harry's happiness again! Hooray for pessimism!

Other than that, I'm so glad that you decided to make Hagrid James' godfather. I think it is a smart decision, and seems like something that Harry would do when considering that Ron is already his brother-in-law. It also proves that Harry has grown up since the war.

This chapter further provided to give an update on everyone's life, and that is particularly helpful for those of us who aren't exactly pros at Next-Gen lineage.

I can't wait to read the next! (Sidenote: I might review the next chapter, making that my fifth review win our swap. This doesn't mean you have to review five of my chapters. I just love this story!)


Author's Response: Hi there!

I do like to balance happy and intense. If everything is awful or happy the whole way through it doesn't make for a very exciting read.

I felt like Hagrid had to be his Godfather. After everything he did for Harry it made sense.

I'm no pro at Next-Gen either, but I just took the little things that I know and twisted it into my little tale here.

I'm so thrilled that you're loving this story. Thank you so much for all of your encouragement and kind words.


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Review #15, by blackballetAtonement Is Coming: A Shadowy Threat

24th August 2015:
Wow! It is so great to start a novel of yours. First off, I simply love the premise. I've truly never read anything like it, and I think it's an interesting concept. It makes sense, especially because Harry's generation was basically torn apart. It makes sense that these Hogwarts Era kids don't trust the Ministry, and have on problem taking down authority because really, what have they ever done to gain the trust of the youth? I love it.

It's a perfect start to your story and a great introduction to your characters. I could feel the tenseness between the fake McGonagall and the aurors when she realized that Kingsley was missing an earring.

The only thing I found slightly lacking were your amazing descriptive skills! I know you have them, and I think this chapter could've used some more setting analysis.

Nevertheless, I love this and can't wait to read more.


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Review #16, by blackballetThe Sorrows Of The Moon: Catechisms

24th August 2015:
Again, oh my gosh!

This one-shot gave my heart the shivers, I swear. I felt so connected to Madeliene instantly. She also reminds me of Remus, and I don't know if that was intentional or not, but it sure did pull my heartstrings.

I think your description was spot on, as I usually think. I know that sometimes you can feel insecure about a specific part of your writing, but I think that description is one of your strong suits. Whatever you're writing, I feel like I could be there in a flash if I just closed my eyes. It's truly amazing to read.

Again, I'm so glad I have the opportunity to read one of your masterpieces!


Author's Response: Hey there!

Thanks so much for dropping by, particularly to this story. It's one of my absolute favorites.

It was intentional for Madeliene to be somewhat similar to Remus. I think their experiences have sort of molded them into who they are.

Description is usually my favorite part of any story. I always try to close my eyes and imagine that I'm the character and then write it as I see it. I'm glad it's working out.

Thanks again for all of your lovely comments!


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Review #17, by blackballetPitch Black Night: Chapter 1

24th August 2015:
Oh my gosh! I'm suddenly in love with wolfstar.

Beyond that, I absolutely loved the structure of this one-shot. Your descriptions are so well developed and intricate I feel as if I am in the scene myself.

You never resorted to telling the reader what an object was. For example: the Invisibility Cloak was never a cloak or a sheath. All you told us was that Mrs. Norris didn't detect Sirius. That was all you needed, and it's all you gave.

I commend you on your ability to only use what's necessary. I have definitely not mastered that yet, and it makes your story have a purpose that doesn't seem forced.

On to Remus and Sirius. I feel that Remus' reaction was spot-on. It was a perfect reveal, and also a perfect description of Sirius transforming. The only problem I had with that scene is that I would've expected all they boys to be there. Although, I suspect Sirius just wanted a moment alone with Remus *wink wink*.

Congrats on such a fulfilling one-shot!


Author's Response: Hello there!

I'm so glad you dropped by!

AH! I love it when description works! I'm so glad you pointed those details out.

I try really hard, but sometimes I still struggle with it. Sometimes I really have to push to find enough words, sometimes I have to drastically edit to make it reasonable.

Yay for things being spot on!

I get what you're saying about James and Peter being there, but in this particular version of events, I think Sirius wanted it to be a bit more romantic. I doubt the romance aspect would be there with James and Peter giggling in the background.

Anyway, thank you so much for your lovely feedback!


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Review #18, by blackballetThe Kings and Queens of Hogwarts : Just Another Marauders Day

24th August 2015:
Hello! I'm here from the forums completing a review swap I promised.

First of all, I love how you've introduced the characters. I use a similar tactic in one of my novels, and thought it was fairly clever and useful. However, I was not sure if you were speaking as a narrator or as an author, because when you admitted to not having a song for Peter, you asked for the readers to mention one. If you're talking as an author, I would suggest putting it in an author's note like you did at the end of the chapter. Otherwise, it takes away from your story.

I did really love the description of the group right before you introduced the characters, though. It was very blunt and decisive. I felt like the third person voice is unashamed of the Marauders' popularity, and it works well for the tone of the story so far.

The first chapter was a nice start at introducing the antagonists as well. You captured the childishness of the James, Sirius, and your characterization of Dorcas incredibly. The only minor complaint I have about a character is Bellatrix. You refer to her as Bellatrix Lestrange, but her maiden name is Bellatrix Black. I doubt that she would be married while she was still in Hogwarts.

I do love that Lily let slip that she is interested in the prank even after she threatened to punish Dorcas. It shows that she is also just a kid and still wants to have fun. The only complaint I have is with the interaction between her and James. I don't feel that Lily would tolerate him constantly putting his arm around her and things like that. It come across as borderline harassment, so I would be careful with things like that in the future. It was perfect for this scene, but just make sure you don't use it too arbitrarily.

Other than these small things, I really liked this as a first chapter! I'm so glad I got to read it!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for taking the time to review! :)

Yeah I like to kind of mix up the structure of my writing to keep it entertaining :) I hadn't though of the Peter, but I will definitely change it because I think it might be confusing a few people. Thank you for pointing out the exact part though!:)

I think I'm quite a blunt writer to be honest and just get straight to the point, but I think that keeps the reader on their toes soI'm glad you like it. I hope it makes the story seem light heart at the start, because that really what I'm going for to begin with!:)

Thank you for the characterisation comment! It means a lot because I really do try to get it perfect :) And I didn't realise I had used the wrong surname, that was a complete accident! Thank you for pointing it out, I'll change it right away!

With the lily still being a kid part, I really love pics that portray her like this. I really hate when people portray her as so stern and often quite horrible when she's at Hogwarts, because I just feel that James would never love a person like that! So I'm glad you think it works well :) I'll take the arm touching think into account and make sure I keep an eye out for using it because I totally get we're you're coming from and you are right, she wouldn't tolerate it at all.

Aw I'm glad you like it! Thank you so much for such a nice review!:)

Katie :)

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Review #19, by blackballetHealing is a Two Way Street: Chapter 2

1st August 2015:
I like this chapter as well!

The only major thing I had a problem with was Hermione seeing Ron when she was out for lunch. I think it was a little too predictable and easy for the story. The scene might flow nicer if Hermione didn't immediately recognize Ron. It might be better if she saw a familiar gait or habit, but it doesn't really catch her eye. Something along those lines may make it a bit more subtle and make the next scene have even more power.

Other than that, I really loved the chapter! I'm so excited for Hermione and Draco to interact in he upcoming chapters!

Author's Response: Thanks for the second review!

Yeah I didn't know how to set that up, but again it's a story full of cliches and that's a huge one :)

Thanks for reading and I'm glad you like it!

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Review #20, by blackballetHealing is a Two Way Street: Chapter 1

1st August 2015:
Hi there, it's me from the forums!

I really like how you've begun the story. His stint in Azkaban really helps explain his softened behavior. I think his characterization was spot on for the purpose of this story! I'm really excited to continue reading.

I think the interactions with the trio were well placed, but I think that there were a few too many times where Ron was giving a disgruntled look or acting bored. With a dramione story, it is almost built in that Ron is the antagonist, so I think that it might have been one too many times that Ron was being disrespectful.

Other than that, the story is lovely so far! I love how you explained his journey as a death eater through vertiaserum. It really worked with how he acted through HBP, and I was really invested in that. You created a great backstory for your characters already!

I can't wait to read and review the next chapter.


Author's Response: Hey!

Thanks for the review and the swap! It's a story built around cliches so naturally you'll find many in here! Including Ron being the Antagonist.

I haven't read much of the Veritaserum being used in courtrooms and I think that should be practiced - to find out the truth!

Thanks again,

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Review #21, by blackballetA Force Of Wills: Half and Half

31st July 2015:
Hi I'm here for a review swap from the forums!

I love Astoria's character so much. I am a little confused about her half-blood status. Is she a child born of an affair, or are all her siblings half-bloods? Anyway, I'm sure that will be revealed in the future, along with more of her alleged family secrets.

I really like your characterization of Malfoy, especially the fact that he has no shame. The bit where he blatantly stares at Astoria's neck really proves his arrogance and self-confidence.

I love how you got into the action so quickly as well, and I already feel as if there is a cliff hanger! I DETEST writing first chapters, so it was lovely to see one that was so daring and inspiring. Congratulations on that front.

I was also afraid of reading such a long first chapter, as I usually stick to 2000-4000 word chapters, but this didn't seem too long at. It was the perfect length, and definitely leaves the reader wanting more.

I'm happy to say that you've absolutely made me look at Draco in a new light as a love interest. I haven't read any Draco fics since my dark dramione days back in 2012!

Thanks so much and I can't wait to keep reading

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for stopping by! I am happy that you liked Astoria, she's a very complicated character to write for and I'm always glad that people love her. You actually don't find out about her half=blood status until much later on in the story but it's not what you think.

The Greengrass family secrets are more disturbing than you may realize but I won't spoil it for you. Hahahaha.

Malfoy is a spoiled little rat, he wouldn't find it in himself to be discreet about anything. Hahahaha. He wants Astoria and so, he's going to do whatever he can to have her.

I always write cliffhangers because I honestly have no idea what I'm doing most of the time, especially with a first chapter. Hahahahahhh.

Most of my chapters are long, I'm glad that you survived!

I'm not sure if you'll be able to look at Draco as a love interest for long but I'm curious to know what you think about him after chapter four. Hahahah. I hope to see you again!

Much love,


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Review #22, by blackballetNutshell: one.

23rd July 2015:
This seems like it is going to be so adorable! I can't wait to see where it goes.


Author's Response: Hi, blackballet! I think I remember you leaving me a few reviews on some of my other stories so it's great to hear from you again. It will be adorable due to the Marauders being in the story (all four of them are adorable themselves) but also some angst because of Jodie's feelings. thank you for taking the time to drop me a line! Really appreciate it!


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Review #23, by blackballetfirst: first kiss

21st July 2015:
I'm so obsessed! The characters really brought me in. I can't wait to read more.


Author's Response: Catherine, you beautiful person! Thank you! :D I'm definitely going to update soon since I have the firsts drafts of the last two chapters done.:D I'm glad you like it, though. :)


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Review #24, by blackballetL'optimisme: Silence

19th July 2015:
Hi there! I'm here from the Ravenclaw Review Battle for team Bronze

First off, I'd like to say that I love how you've started this first chapter. I think it really helps set up the tone and mood for the story, and flows together easily. It switches perfectly from an analysis to a narration of someone's (main characters?) life It doesn't seem at all forced, and eases nicely into the beginning of your story.
The introduction to Dumbledore and Grindelwald perfectly sets their relationship as well. It explains enough without being obtuse, and also reflects the acknowledgment of same-sex relationships in the 1800s- non-existent.
When Dumbledore begins recalling the events leading up to Ariana's demise, it is also clear that the story has taken a turn for the darker. It didn't give anything away, but I somehow immediately knew that something bad was going to happen. Your technique is SO thorough and subtle!
Finally, after Ariana's death, the silence comes back into play. The fact that you tied together all of this is so fantastic. It fit so well with the beginning and was not redundant in the slightest. It also fits very well with Dumbledore's canon character, and is something I could see him calling back on.
Overall, I loved this first chapter so much! It could definitely stand alone as a one-shot, and I can't even imagine how you've expanded on it. Thanks for such a lovely piece!


Author's Response: Hey there - thank you so much for stopping by! :)

Thank you so much! It was strange writing it - I wrote the analytical part and wasn't sure to include it or not really, since I didn't know if it really worked as a section, so I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Yeah, I really didn't want to make their relationship incredibly overt, because, as you say, it wasn't at the time - but at the same time, it needed to be overt enough, because obviously they lived it, you know? Kind of a balancing act to do there...

Thank you! :) Ariana's death was one of those scenes which was so terrifying to actually write, because it needed to be right, I felt, so it was really hard to do. I really liked getting to tie it back to silence, too - though it wasn't planned at all, haha. And yeah, writing suspensful things is something I've worked on before this, so it wasn't perhaps as hard in terms of technique as it could have been (before I practised it I was so bad at it, haha), but I still struggled a bit with that scene so I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Thank you so so much for the lovely review - and thank you again for stopping by! It was such a nice thing to get; I'm just so glad you liked the story! :)

Aph xx

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Review #25, by blackballetNo Strings Attached: one.

18th July 2015:
Love it! Nice twist with involving Albus already. It separates itself from the cliche already with that. The characters were both introduced very nicely, and I feel like I already know them. I can't wait to see more!

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