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Reading Reviews From Member: dreamgazer220
  
349 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dreamgazer220The Harder They Fall: Deeper Than Oceans

21st June 2017:
Bianca, I have a couple of things to formally say to you in a review, but that can wait because:

DEAR GOD THIS CHAPTER WAS A ROLLERCOASTER! Okay, so I was all ready to riot because I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would happen to Brindley. It broke my heart when Finn walked away from her and couldn't think of anything to say.

I don't think there's ever been a punch more satisfying except for when Hermione punched Malfoy in PoA. I chuckled that Finn thought Tom wasn't capable of bleeding, and it's such a Finn thought. AND I'm so impressed with his power and that he was able to use his wand with all that magic. I was totally cheering for him, despite the fact that I wanted to shake him - and I think that's the mark of a good character. He's made some huge mistakes, but in the end, he redeems himself, and I'm SO happy that he was able to save Brindley.

So what happened with her curse? Was it that Grindelward hit her with it a second time and it kind of counter-acted? That's what I took from it when you mentioned the snake venom effect.

Awww, go Mama Blishwick! A Portkey is SO SMART.

And the beach! Ugh, my heart. I'm so glad that Finn and Brindley got the happily ever after they deserved. They've been through so much together and I'm so proud that Finn wants to make the Blishwick name into something good. And get revenge for Tom.

THANK YOU FOR LETTING THEM LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER, MY BABIES. Although you could definitely write more Finn, I mean... come on! He's going to hunt down Tom Riddle! How can you not write that story?!?!?!

This is really just me begging you with puppy dog eyes. Is it working?

So the things I wanted to formally say: I'm so impressed by you, your writing, and your character growth. I know Julie is a goddess, but you've always had talent, and I'm so proud to see how far you've grown from the first chapter of Hero (which was excellent) to now. I'm also impressed that you've managed to finish two stories in a year or two (I'm lazy right now to go look).

Thank you for sharing this story and Finn with us.

Love you long time

♥♥♥
J

Author's Response: Hahaha rollercoaster is probably a good way to describe it. And comparing the punch to Hermione's? That is the highest flattery :D

You're absolutely right, it counteracted/cancelled it out :)

Of course they had a happy ending! I could never give Finn anything less ♥

You're very welcome. Thank YOU for being there every step of the way. Love you ♥


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Review #2, by dreamgazer220The Harder They Fall: Hollow

21st June 2017:
Excuse me. EXCUSE ME, BIANCA.

I'm sorry, Finn, but when you gave Grindelward that girl's name, what did you really expect him to do? Nothing? I totally get that you want to protect Brindley, but UGH. That poor girl was just a little pawn and my only consolation is that he's feeling horrible over it, as he should.

ALSO, you knew you were going to study with Brindley and you didn't really hide the note or the cloak all that well. UGH, Finn, sometimes I want to shake you.

I really just want to hug Brindley, okay? She could use a hug or three, I can't imagine how hurt she is by Finn right now. BUT ALSO, Grindelward better not hurt her or else I'll riot. Or Tom, for that matter. Can I punch Tom? I'm not at all surprised that he tracked Finn to find the cloak.

Also, how did Finn know where the cloak was hidden?

Fantastic chapter, B! As much as I want to shake Finn, he's still one of my favorite characters. He's grown so much but then he does things like this and just UGHHH. (And you wonder why I referred to you as Queen Stiefvater, geez.)

I don't think I'm ready for the last chapter.

Author's Response: Um, yes, hello Jill :D

Finn guessed where the cloak was because he saw Fleamont look that way before he was taken, like it was the first thing on his mind.

Thank you! :D ♥


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Review #3, by dreamgazer220The Harder They Fall: Immortal

24th May 2017:
HELLO LOVELY NEW CHAPTER OF HTF YAY! ♥

Okay so I'm a little annoyed that Finn sold out some poor innocent girl in order to keep Brindley safe, but I could see how - in his twisted mind - it was the right thing to do. It's quite Slytherin of him, really. I'm also curious because it seems as though he's okay even after being tortured, but I have a feeling that's where his mind has been.

FINN AND BRINDLEY ON THE MOUNTAIN. I REPEAT, FINN AND BRINDLEY ON THE MOUNTAIN! Okay, it doesn't totally make up for the last chapter but it's really freaking adorable and I'm going to pretend that it does because they're wonderful and amazing and #otp. I'm glad that she wasn't hesitant about wanting to be with him, that it was clearly something she wanted.

ALSO, loved this line: "I am not going to break, Finn." I love how precious and concerned he is for her and she's just like, "lol, boy, PLEASE."

Hero hath made an appearance! I was excited about this scene and curious how you were going to do it. Interesting choice that her grave is next to Myrtle's - was that done on purpose? LOOK AT THEM GETTING ALONG AND FINN TALKING TO GHOSTS.

That's right, Finn, don't trust Tom. He's a psychopath. A pretty one, I know you don't care about that, but he's a psychopath.

I'm so anxious to see how he's going to react when he finds out the truth about Hero's death.

Another fantastic chapter, my love!
♥♥♥ J

Author's Response: You thinking of Brindley like "lol, boy, PLEASE" had me cracking up more than you know.

Hero's and Myrtle's stones are in a little memorial garden - you'll find they probably aren't the only ones in there. One of my primary schools had one and that's where I got the idea.

Thank you for reviewing, my love!!! ♥


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Review #4, by dreamgazer220The Harder They Fall: No Rest for the Wicked

11th May 2017:
BIANCA HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MY PRECIOUS BABY AND JUST END THE CHAPTER THERE!

We're in a fight.

But seriously, this chapter was awesome! I'm having a hard time deciding if my favorite part was the scene with Ben and Finn (CAN THEY START A REVOLUTION TOGETHER PLEASE) or Finn and Brindley. I mean, this pretty much stole my heart: "I'd rather spend a few days with you than anyone else." UGH poor babies.

I love how much Finn has grown, but it's all done so realistically. I feel like I tell you that in every chapter but your character development skills remind of me of Queen Maggie Stiefvater. Seriously awesome.

What an amazing chapter and I'm so proud to see how far you've come with this story.

Love you long time ♥

Author's Response: Jiiill! I can't believe you've compared me to the Queen herself. You know she's such an inspiration of mine so I appreciate you saying that so much. I'm also glad you like Finn's development, since it's something I'm always nervous about.
Love you, you amazing human ♥


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Review #5, by dreamgazer220House of Stone: Tryouts on Saturday!

5th April 2017:
Hey there :)

So I'm officially caught up with this story now - yay! I like reading fic for fun again and not because I have a review thread.

I know you struggled for a bit with this chapter, but rest assured that it doesn't show in the writing. You did another great job of filling up the time, although apart from Piper being tired, I feel like she would be slightly more preoccupied with the Black family business. Although I suppose that's why she was distracted in Quidditch.

I know Piper's awkward, but I wish Terry would get the hint. I feel like she's just not really that into him :P

Tbh, I totally forgot about the Ron thing, which means that you should try to update this story more regularly. So that I don't forget things, obviously. Duh. Why else would you update?!

Anyway, another great chapter! I liked your subtle hints of Dean and Ginny to keep it close to canon and everything with Snape being the DADA professor. Interesting how the books help us expand our own universes.

Lovely work as always!



Author's Response: Piper IS preoccupied. It's part of the Black family business that she doesn't want to do quidditch. (There was no being distracted, she did that crap on purpose, lol.) However, it's also the first day of school and she's got everyone coming at her from all sides- boyfriend, Ginny's questions, homework, Cho, more homework. The only person not demanding something from her is Luna. There will be more in the next chapter, but for this one, she was trying to forget one overwhelming thing for another.

I'm so excited for the Ron and Harry catch Dean and Ginny making out scene, you have no friggin idea!

-Liz


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Review #6, by dreamgazer220House of Stone: Late Night Scribbles

4th April 2017:
Hello dear! I'm sorry that I seemed to have neglected this story for so long. I might have time to read chapter 12 today before I go, but:

I liked what you did here. I liked how you had Piper writing down her thoughts, trying to make sense of it all. It's a tactic I very rarely see in fics these days, but it makes so much sense and is realistic. Especially if she doesn't really have anyone she can talk to, who is she going to tell? It's also a great way of not bogging your readers down with an info dump and breaking up the structure of the story a bit.

Great job with this ♥

Author's Response: Are you kidding? Do you know how long it's been since I read HS for reviewing instead of beta'ing? #waytoofarbehindonlifeandeverything

I really had no other idea of how to do this and it seemed to make more sense to me to skip her groggily going through her day and just summarize. Literally.

Thanks, love! You know I love your company!

-Liz


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Review #7, by dreamgazer220House of Stone: The End of Summer (and Secrets)

4th April 2017:
BOOM THERE IT IS! ♥

Oh hai. I knew you wouldn't be able to wait long before posting this chapter, but I'm glad you did!

And it's nice to see Piper interacting with her parents, demanding answers, and actually getting answers. It will definitely keep moving the plot along and I'm sure more things will start to unfold once she gets back to school.

I think you did a good job with handling all the information. It was an infodump, but it didn't really feel like one. I liked the Mom/Piper scene, Piper snooping around in her dad's office... now that we know who her dad is, it's kind of hilarious to picture him as a stuffy lawyer. I'm glad he got off his you-know-what enough to give her the answers that she deserves, though it's definitely going to be interesting to see how she processes all of the information and the answers, and how she's going to react to not just the Malfoy boy, but the Weasleys as well. Interesting that she decided to confess that she has a crush on Ron... heh.

But I'm glad you gave us some normal family interactions! Yay for children getting along with their parents, something that I feel like is rarely seen in fics. And I wonder how Morgan is going to react to this, if she ever finds out...

Also, I LOLed at "Who is Padfoot?" Piper had such great, teenage reactions to everything.

Excellent chapter!

♥Jill

Author's Response: SUCH AN INFO DUMP! Remember how she didn't find out until the very END in the original? Yeah, no, I couldn't do it this time. The family dynamics are so different now! Piper and Morgan actually get along... Sort of... Jake and Piper are almost talking to each other... Sort of... Dad isn't ridiculously distant...
SHE DIDN'T SAY IT WAS RON! But I had to point out the relation, hahaha. Actually, Victoire and Teddy are distantly related, too! Mwahahaha, Black Family Tree KNOWLEDGE! (Note that he told her it'll be okay- they're far enough away! XD)
Rarely seen in fics, eh? I like hearing that! Piper's family is rather integral to the story. I don't know if Morgan will be told any time soon (she's not at rebellious as Piper... >.>)
SHE HAD TO ASK! XD
Thanks, dear!
-Liz


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Review #8, by dreamgazer220House of Stone: Love and Lies

4th April 2017:
Sneaking in here with review tag♥

You already know my vague thoughts on the Piper/Dad scene, but I'm glad we had one. It felt necessary - and not just because she was defying him with inviting Terry over to stay, but because of everything that had been revealed in the chapter as well. I'm glad that her dad was finally honest with her about certain things, and although he didn't say a name, it's a very big clue on who he is ;) Er... spoiler? But not. And as I've said before, I thought the transition between "ANGRY FIGHT SCENE" to awkward scene talking about boys was cute. It felt like it was a necessary moment for their relationship. You're not going to do bad things to her dad, are you? ARE YOU?!

And the scene with Jake was cute, too. It took me a minute to realize why he was asking a security question until I remembered that she'd been gone for a few weeks. Whoops.

Hmmm... Terry and Morgan get along better than Terry and Piper, hmmm... *eye shift*

I'm glad that Piper is beginning to enjoy being with Terry. It doesn't feel so awkwardly forced her. And TERRY IS MOVING WAY TOO FAST WITH THE 'L' WORD! I think it would've helped if we saw a scene with them as friends before they got together, but. yeahhh. I don't really like them. I don't ship them.

Also, did Morgan REALLY get a rash or did she just not like the person she saw in the locket? :D

Great chapter!

♥Jill

Author's Response: It was unexpected. Piper became rather rebellious as the summer progressed and I think it may have been sparked by Ron and then just transferred to her Dad... XD You read the original story... His plot ends the same... So don't tell.
Yeah, her and Jake weren't supposed to make up until later, but this was too perfect a scene to pass up.


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Review #9, by dreamgazer220House of Stone: To Market, To Market, and Home Again

4th April 2017:
♥ Tag ♥

Of course Ron and Piper are going to be super awkward after the kiss. Ron is an awkward individual and I would expect no less than either of them, but I'm glad that they seemed to momentarily get over it to help Harry celebrate his birthday. And also, nice ties into canon there to keep us up with the timeline. The car ride seemed a bit much, even for him, at least in the beginning. But, ah, sometimes Ron is annoying like that.

Also, lol Ginny. I like that your version of her is much, erm... lighter? (;)) than my version, but it fits the story. And she's definitely one to be friends with the boys and I can definitely see her not really having a best girl friend, so I'm glad that she and Piper determined that. It was super cute, too.

Aww, nice appearance of Remus!

IS PIPER ACTUALLY EXCITED TO SEE TERRY?! YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY LIKES HIM?! YAY! Because it's sort of felt like she didn't have a say in the relationship before, maybe even how they got together, but here she is finally acting like she likes him and that he isn't an inconvenience. Maybe she was just adjusting? Is she inviting him over for a SLEEPOVER?! My, my, Piper Stone, I don't know what's gotten into you but I like it.

DO I KNOW WHO THE WOMAN IS? I DON'T THINK I KNOW WHO THE WOMAN IS!!

(Nice shout-out to James, btw, and Fremily!! I forgot about that one!

Great chapter! Write more soon! ♥♥

Author's Response: Hehehe, I've always seen Ron as a bit of a sore loser. Good thing the joke shop was there to distract him!
I LOVE GINNY! I can't wait to put her in more- she's so feisty in the books and it's so much fun to play off of that.
Remus is


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Review #10, by dreamgazer220House of Stone: Feathers and Mudpies

4th April 2017:
**From AO3**

Hello! See I didn't forget about you :D

I really like the balance that you're doing here. It's nice to see Piper becoming comfortable with the Golden Trio. It doesn't happen over night, but over a series of nights, and I think that's realistic. Plus, it's summer, so it's good to see everyone somewhat relaxed.

Ginny dressing Piper up is hilarious. It's not something I see in my headcanon of Ginny, but it does make sense. She's never really been able to interact with other girls (I don't count Hermione and I don't think she and Luna are that close), so having Piper around must be fun for her. And same with Piper; I don't see either of them being particularly girly, but it's probably fun to be around a girl their own age.

The mudfight was super cute and it reminded me of the original draft :D And the pillowfight. So much cuteness and I'm worried when the next shoe will drop.

RON AND PIPER KISSED WAT. But I loves it, of course I do. ALL THE ANGST AND THE WTFNESS!

Great chapter, dear! Looking forward to the next.

♥Jill

Author's Response: Secretly, every girl wants to be a girl, I think. Ginny and Piper bonded and Ginny is going to exploit her until the end to make her summer more interesting. Plus it's fun. XD
I couldn't leave out the mudfight and the pillowfight! It's just not how it's DONE! ^_^ But I like the way they happen now, much more natural than the original draft.
YES THEY DID I'M NOT SURE WHAT I WAS THINKING. >.>
Thank you! I knew you didn't forget about me!


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Review #11, by dreamgazer220House of Stone: Not The 'Cute' One

4th April 2017:
Cross posting reviews!

HAI LIZ!

I liked this chapter. It was nice and lighthearded, which I felt was necessary after the last chapter and it kept the humorous aspect of it. I think that'll be important to hold onto as things move along.

I loved Piper overhearing the gossiping Golden Trio in the morning after waking up. It seemed perfectly in character, and I loved that Harry was trying to have them be more respectful because they're kind of friends. I also loved how it was so teenager-y, if that makes sense. Like, someone new is here and here's all the things we know about her!

Hahaha, Piper's confusion about Fleur being around is so great. But I thought it was a brilliant way to tie her into canon, so to speak, by having her remember Fleur from being a champion. It made a lot of sense to me. And Fleur's character was great. Excellent characterization - actually, excellent characterization for everyone here. Piper's sense of humor is the best.

And Ginny! I loved her conversation with Piper, and I love that it gave Piper a reason/excuse to get excited about her boyfriend. She hasn't seemed too happy about being with Terry thus far, so it was good to see her acting like, well, a girl. You did a fantastic job of having everyone act their age in this chapter and it was wonderful.

Another great chapter, dear! Can't wait for the next :D



Author's Response: Piper has to maintain a sense of humor or she and Ginny will kill all the people. ALL THE PEOPLE! With this story more than any other (and really, with any novel-length story more than any other) I have to keep the lightness in it because the darkness is a lot and I know it is and there has to be some light or my characters would change way too drastically by the end, and not in a good way.
(P.S. I love Ginny, too. I sooo want to work on her one-shot!)
Thank you for reading, my lovely. I know I've stopped sending you full chapters recently, but I want you to be surprised, lol. But that's why I send you snippets I'm not sure about.


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Review #12, by dreamgazer220The Harder They Fall: The Beginning of the End

31st March 2017:
Eeep, a new chapter of HTF! YAY!

I love Finn. Like, a lot. I like his character development and how he stays true to himself, but you can easily see how he's changed from his Hero days until now, when he wants to protect Brindley at all costs. And using someone else to do it - that does seem very Slytherin and very Finn-like. I do feel bad for the girl, but as long as Brindley is safe from Grindelwald, it's okay. :P

I love your writing and how it's grown. Like always, this chapter flew by for me. I liked how the pace at the coup was higher and more at-stake than the pace with Brindley, and then it picked up again with Finn and the boys. It felt natural and I gobbled this chapter right up. ♥

AND MY POOR FINNDLEY :( When she said she was dying, my heart broke for Finn. Especially this part: Brindleys mouth lifted in half a smile. Its okay, Finn. Ive come to terms with it.

The words slipped out of his mouth, hoarse and raw, before he could stop them. I havent.
I just love how he's grown to care about her over time and doesn't really have a filter around her anymore. ♥

I also loved this line: Its fine, she said, smiling. Pain is relative, you know? Theres no use in comparing problems.

Brindley's always seemed wise beyond her years, but not in a condescending way. I guess her condition would help with wisdom.

BUT YOU CAN'T KILL HER TOO, OKAY? MY POOR BABY WON'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT.

Lovely chapter as always, B!

♥J

Author's Response: Yas it finally happened! I UPDATED YA'LL!

I don't even know how to reply to this because it's so wonderful, and I'm so so so glad you liked it.

I mean, I'd love to put your mind at ease about Brindley, but the story isn't over yet ;)

Love you! ♥


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Review #13, by dreamgazer220October 31st: October 31st

10th March 2017:
Kayla! I'm here for our review swap, and holy crap! Not only am I glad that I got a chance to read this story, but how have I not read your writing before?!

Okay so I have to admit that I was a bit skeptical about this, but you convinced me. You convinced me so much that I was even seeing it like a movie running through my mind, and you had me gripped throughout the entire story.

Let's start with Remus and Sirius. I love the way you wrote them, the way they figured out who the rat was, but I also loved Remus' inner thoughts about their relationship and how it was failing. This line in particular really stood out to me: He never used to notice the flaws so much back when they first moved in; they were young and in love, and the flat was shabby but it was theirs. Hes not sure exactly when the dripping tap became louder than their morning conversations, but now it seems to be all he hears. It just felt so realistic and so painful becuase things are different, but when did that happen? It's easy to imagine that happening over the time of war, especially when they can't really seem to trust each other. I really think you did their relationship justice and my heart was breaking for them the entire time. And when they thought the other one was a Death Eater and Remus had Sirius roll up his sleeves? JUST TAKE MY HEART OKAY.

I also loved their personalities in this. You did an amazing job of showcasing Sirius' loyalty to the Potters and showing us his bravery, too. And poor Remus, I can't imagine having to try and convince the werewolves to get on his side and then not being able to talk to Sirius about it. Their love was just so tragic in this story, I really felt for them.

And OKAY, when they both stormed Peter's hide-out! THAT WAS AWESOME. I was getting all excited, thinking that they were all going to live happily ever after, except for maybe Peter, because, well, he's a rat.

AND THEN YOU WENT AND YOU KILLED SIRIUS INSTEAD, WHAT. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! I'm actually pretty impressed because I know he's your favorite character so I definitely wasn't expecting that ending from this piece. I really thought they were all going to make it, but then I guess Harry wouldn't be the Boy Who Lived anymore. :'( And poor Remus, having to find his body like that! UGH.

So if you couldn't tell, I really loved this and I think you did an amazing job creating a different reality. Everything felt authentic, from their personalities to their relationships. The language and descriptions you used were on point, and it was a smart choice to tell this in present tense because it really helped with the pacing and keeping me intrigued.

Excellent job, thanks for the swap!
♥ Jill

Author's Response: Hey Jill! So sorry I took a while to respond to this.

Well, I'm very glad to hear that I convinced you! :) Yeah, Sirius and Remus break my heart. I always see it as such a tragic relationship (mostly towards the end) and I'm glad I managed to capture that here.

I'm so happy that you liked the scene at Peter's house. I've never really written anything so action-y before so I was really nervous about it.

Hahaha! I was definitely trying to take people by surprise with that ending. When I was trying to figure out what I was going to do for the challenge, I was really focusing on ideas where Harry would still be the Boy Who Lived, so I knew someone still had to die. I toyed with Neville getting chosen instead or Lily still dying, but I thought this would surprise people the most.

Thank you so much for the wonderful review, Jill! We'll have to swap again sometime!

-Kayla


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Review #14, by dreamgazer220Liar: Adults

9th March 2017:
Hello lovely, here with your review!

I was excited to see that you finally posted a new chapter (although I'm not one to talk :P). To be honest, the length made me a bit nervous, but as always with your writing, you captured my attention and kept it the whole way through. And I always marvel over your ability to go through so much time in one chapter and have it flow so effortlessly.

I think the politics were good here. Poor Remus, having to wear a stupid red band to mark him as dangerous - but it makes sense, since the Ministry would have to do something to "warn people", although I'm glad that Remus' friends and Peter didn't really care or notice anything about the band.

It's interesting that Dumbledore called them out specifically and asked them to join the Order. I think there I would've liked a bit more context, even if it was Remus or Peter recognizing everyone's strengths about why they were chosen specifically. Otherwise, I enjoyed that scene quite a bit and was happy to see that Peter hesitated. You make me forget that he's the reason that James and Lily are dead, but then you did little things like that to remind me/us of his true character, and it's really well done here.

Aww, Dorcas and Remus! That's cute. I'm glad he found someone, even if it wasn't Peter. And I enjoyed how nonchalant they both were abotu the whole thing, but Dorcas has always been there for Remus, and she obviously holds no judgmenet, so it made sense for them.

And James being nice! And being with Lily! I would've liked to see a bit more how they got together, but I know that this is focused more on Remus and Peter, so I'm content with that library scene. :P

Through it all, there's always Remus and Peter. I'm glad that they had some moments alone and even if it was uncomfortable, they still managed to be around each other. There's hope for them yet!

Another fantastic chapter, darling! I really do love this story. ♥

Author's Response: Jill!!!
Thank you so much for the review, and sorry if I'm answering so late...

Ahahah! We are all slow writers... I'm a bit stuck with the next chapter, hopefully it won't take too long... And yes, I know, these chapters get always longer. Not my fault, there's always so much to include... I'm glad it read well nonetheless! :)

Yes, the law is horrible. I'm glad you found it believable, though. I was scared I'd pulled it too far... Yes, his friends don't care, but we already knew they were special, right?

That scene would've needed more context, I agree. I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway. Peter is Peter, he wouldn't like the idea of fighting, but wouldn't step out either for fear of his friends' judgement. Glad you found him in character and liked his hesitation.

They are cute. Glad you liked them together. :) And James and Lily, too! :D *Jily 5ever*

Yes, there's always Remus and Peter. We'll see how things will go from there...

Thank you for another wonderful review! You are the best!


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Review #15, by dreamgazer220Play harmless: Play harmless

9th March 2017:
Hello, I'm here with your requested review!

So I adore Neville/Hannah and thought that this would be a good piece to check out. I think you did a great job with this; though I've never been married myself, I was still able to sympathize with Hannah's predicament. It's hard when people keep telling you that your significant other is a good man/person when they're constantly away from you - and I really do believe Neville would be that devoted to his job as a Professor. I can see him really caring for his students and him feeling like Hannah has things under control.

As a technicality, I'm not sure if this is really classified as romance - perhaps romance and angst, since there's a fair amount of melancholy here. That said though, I really loved the symbolism of Hannah's ring and how that was what started the whole thought process.

I also think it's adorable that they argued over names for the child. I can totally see Neville wanting to name their son after Dumbledore and Hannah's just like, "No." I like that she calls him by his middle name and allows him to be his own person in that sense.

I have a feeling that Hannah has a very strong case of cabin fever. I'd be curious to see where this goes if Neville were to come home. Would they talk about it? Would Hannah leave? Would they fight? I like that you don't give us an answer, though - it leaves me hope that maybe they do work it out. :D

Some of the paragraph chunks were a little long, in terms of flow, but it still read pretty well. I'd consider getting a beta or just have someone take a second look at it just to iron out some sentence structure stuff.

Overall though, you did a really nice job on this, especially for one of your first fics.

Thanks for the request!

Author's Response: Hi :) Thank you so much for this very nice review! I'm so happy you appreciate the point that everyone is saying to Hannah that Neville is such a good man, and this makes it even harder for her to talk about her problems. No other review has pointed this out before, and I kind of feel that this is a key point to the story and to why Hannah and Neville do not openly talk about problems in their marriage.

I've added angst to the classifications - thank you for the suggestion.

To be honest I wasn't thinking of cabin fever when I wrote this. But I think you are right, the depression that most stay-at-home moms experiences might be in a way a related disorder. Anyway I want to keep their future open, I think at this point anything can happen, they might end up fixing their relationship or not.

(In the meantime I got a wonderful beta to read this story, and the long paragraphs as well as some English issues were fixed - I'm still waiting for validation.)

Thank you again so much for stopping by!


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Review #16, by dreamgazer220In This Darkness: Chapter Three

28th February 2017:
Hey there! Here with your review :)

So, this chapter. I enjoyed it quite a bit! Train rides are always dull to write, but you used it as a great opportunity to develop some relationships here.

I love your Hugo. I also love that you don't forget about Hugo (a lot of Next Gen fics do), and that he and Lily are super close. I really enjoy his humor, and his banter and relationship with Lily showcases how close they are. I found it really interesting that Lily was in a relationship, but it makes sense if she was thinking about breaking up with him.

The dialogue here was great. It was fast-paced and it read naturally to me; I could hear them talking as I was reading it, and even just through the dialogue, we're getting a better picture of who Lily is, which I enjoy. I'm curious to learn more about her; it sounds like she's one of those pretty, popular girls, but also like she's not sure she wants to be anymore (and I love love love characters like that).

I also find it interesting (in a good way) that Lily let her boyfriend kind of control her a bit, thus not letting her spend time with Hugo last year. Obviously that gap year is going to cause some rifts, or I think it will, anyway - I could see them start to surface when she realizes just how close Hugo and Xander are.

I did notice some technicals, so I'd suggest either getting a beta reader or reading through a second time to see if you can spot them. Just something to think about to help make the chapter a bit cleaner :)

This was another great chapter, and I'm curious about Lily and Xander's interest in Grindelwad; I like that you didn't make it the obvious choice with Voldemort. I'm also not so sure I believe Lily in that she's not trying to impress Xander, haha.

Thanks for the request!

♥Jill

Author's Response: I love Hugo! I wish there was more of him in fics so I had to make sure he was in this one hehe

That's pretty much the Lily I wanted to showcase so I'm glad it came through! She has a lot of growing and a lot of self realization to do...

I think Volderort is pure darkness where Grindelwad was more of twisted ideals. Also Voldemort is too closely associated with Harry for any of his kids to feel comfortable reading about... I'm not sure Lily wasn't trying to impress him either ;)

I'm not really sure where I'd find a beta (I'm relatively new to the world of FanFics lol) but I'll definitely try to edit more closely.

Thank you for another wonderful review, Jill! Your input is always appreciated!


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Review #17, by dreamgazer220In This Darkness: Chapter Two

20th February 2017:
Hey there! I'm here with your review. :D

I'm really sad that you killed off Ginny, but I also like the twist in the story. I haven't read too many next gens where one of the parents was dead, so kudos for originality there. I can't imagine how hard it must be for Harry, but I love the fact that they ended up moving into the Potter Manor at Godric's Hollow. Sweet that Ginny wanted him to have a tie to his own family.

You primarily asked about the characterization between Lily and Xander, and I enjoyed their banter. I also like Lily - I don't think she's necessarily spoiled, but she definitely has a privileged life. I like it, though; it makes sense, especially with Ginny gone, that the boys would dote on her - except for Xander. And he does seem to gel well with the Potter clan too; and I like that he knows more than anyone where she would go when she's upset and that he would seek her out, even if he thinks she's being dramatic. I'm very curious to see how their relationship unfolds over time. I'm not quite getting a brother vibe here and I like it ;)

I think the biggest thing that stuck out for me for this chapter was a balance of description and dialogue. Both of them are great on their own; I love the descriptions of the Potter Manor in the beginning and at the end of the chapter, you bring those back with the Quidditch field. I would like to see them intersect a little more in the kitchen scene when the Potter boys come back from Diagon Alley. Also, why didn't Lily and Xander go with them when they went shopping? I do enjoy the characters and dynamics within the family though. :)

Overall though I enjoyed this chapter and I'd be curious to see where you took the story, especially since the title suggests that things take a darker turn later on.

Thanks for the request!

-Jill

Author's Response: I felt like I had to kill Ginny off to properly portray her children – and Xander- the way I wanted to.
You definitely have the Lily I envisioned. I didn’t want her to be this sweet, extremely likeable character. I wanted her to be someone that still had a lot of growing up to do. Him finding her… I’m glad you noticed that. That actually plays a bigger role later on so I’m glad you picked up on it.
With second-gen stories, sometimes it feels like an overwhelming amount of characters all introduced at once. I feel like I’m not capable enough to pull that off yet hehe so I started little by little. Xander and Lily, being my protagonists, were the first to be introduced. You’ll see Albus and James, and a better glimpse into their characterization, later on.
Things do get darker later on. That’s why it was so important for me to start with Xander’s backstory. I think that there’s part that will be lighter, but I wanted the reader to remember that his origins are still dark. I hope you continue to enjoy it!
Thank you for reviewing it a second time! I really appreciate all the amazing feedback!


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Review #18, by dreamgazer220Periphery: Chapter One

20th February 2017:
Hey Sarah! I'm here with your review ♥

Okay so I'm super excited to see that we're going to go back into their Hogwarts years, at least for this particular chapter. I loved both Emily and Chloe; both characters have very strong voices, and it made me so mad that Emily ended up feeding her to the wolves. I also like that you broke house stereotype there. I'm assuming they're both Hufflepuffs, but it's also like Peter Pettigrew and Gryffindor; not everyone is textbook definition of their House, and I really, really liked how you showcased that here.

Again, your descriptions and language are fantastic. It was very easy to picture everything that was going on, although the only time I was mildly confused was when they were carving the mark, so to speak. However, I think it works for this story because it's told in first person, and Chloe wouldn't know immediately what was happening to her - only that something hurt.

I know we're not supposed to, but I don't like Michael Flint. I can't help but wonder if he targeted them for a reason or just because they're Hufflepuff muggleborns? Either way, I really liked how this chapter fit so easily into pre-War at Hogwarts. Voldemort's followers might not have infiltrated yet, but there are definitely Purebloods like Flint and Macnair who would still feel strongly about the muggleborns being there.

You asked about Chloe's characterization in your request, and again, I really enjoyed her. She had a bit of humor in this chapter and I felt for her when she was betrayed by her cousin. I'm curious to see how that's going to affect their relationship. Emily also reminds me of one of the girls from a Jane Austen novel; kind of gossipy and interested in boys. She actually reminded me a bit of Lydia Bennet, to be honest :)

Flow here was good. Even though it was a longer chapter, it was really easy to read because it captured my attention the entire time. And the descriptions again were great as was dialogue. You had a good mix of short and longer paragraphs that helped balance things out.

I'm SO HAPPY that Sirius (and I'm guessing Marlene?) rescued her! That seems like such a natural way for them to get close and I love how he's just James Potter's friend to her at the moment. It makes a lot of sense and I can't wait to see how this develops.

And the end was perfect. It was chilling and dramatic with enough intrigue to get a reader to the next chapter to see what happens next.

Overall this was another fantastic chapter. Thank you for the request! I'm really excited to see where you take this.

♥Jill

Author's Response: Hi, Jill! Here you are leaving me such a lovely and thoughtful review (that I, um, REQUESTED from you!!!) and it's taken me this long to respond. Please forgive me for being trash. You and your feedback are so greatly appreciated!

Yes, you are hitting the nail right on the head by comparing Emily to Peter (and even Chloe). I can't count how many times I've harped on this in previous responses, but this story is going to be expelling what I believe has become folklore around the Marauders. They're martyred because they died and we loved their characters, but they were certainly flawed. At the same time, yes, Peter betrayed his friends. But for those of us who have never been put under such a situation, I don't think we can really say what we would do under the threat of torture or murder. So Emily betrayed her cousin here--but do we write her off as a monster?

I'm glad you mentioned being confused about drawing the mark! I wanted to leave a little mystery, because Chloe doesn't even realize, until the end, that it's an actual letter "M." But maybe the entire scene was a little confusing. I definitely want it to be clear that Michael is using his wand as a weapon to burn Chloe's skin. I'll have to go back and make sure that it's clear enough!

Technically, Michael was targeting Emily, and the attack was originally meant for her. Unfortunately it was just because she is a Muggle-born. He probably felt that she would be an easy target, too, because she is frivolous and eager to be accepted, and he recognized the power he could have over her. You're totally right about her being like one of the Bennett girls! Especially Lydia. Omg and Michael is such a Wickham, but, times like one thousand and with way worse intentions. And I'm glad that this seemed to fit into the Pre-War canon. Obviously Chloe has heard of Voldemort, and associates a general bad feeling with him, but she's so far separated from it (at this point) that it's just a name.

Yes! The way that Chloe met Marlene and Sirius is very important to the story. She feels, and will feel for years, indebted to them--particularly Marlene. It's essential in creating the strange power dynamic between them as friends. I won't go too into it, but you're right to point it out!

Thank you again, Jill, so much. I apoogize again for taking so long to respond. Your reviews are always so thoughtful and I love to read them!





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Review #19, by dreamgazer220Healing Wounds: Healing Wounds

13th February 2017:
Hello!

SO I was going to get mad at you FOR BREAKING MY HEART and killing off Seamus, but I may have done the same thing in one of my stories, so... ;) BUT STILL.

Also, I'm here with your requested review!

I loved your opening paragraph. It really drew me in and told me that something wasn't right with Dean, even if you didn't come out and say it. I also loved the minor switch when you mentioned "You would notice". I don't know why, but it did really seem to fit the moment. :)

And let's talk about that flashback! Poor Dean :( :( He just wants to pick up and fight again, but there's Seamus, and then he was yelling at him, and it was seriously heart-wrenching. Since you asked about believability in your request, I'm going to say here that you don't have to worry about that. Especially in a war, death can happen to anyone. *snuggles Dean*

I also loved how bitter Dean was about Ginny. I mean, most fics, I feel like, refer to Ginny's feelings about Dean, but it was a nice change to see his feelings about her. And if she was snogging Harry all over the place, it's definitely valid for him to be bitter and jealous; especially after everything he'd been through and feeling like everyone left him behind.

And that's why I love Luna, because of course she would be the one to notice. It just makes sense to me, even though I've never read a Dean/Luna fic before. But the way it works here is very believable- and I chuckled when she just went down to lunch even though Dean had kissed her. And I wanted to strangle Dean a bit for thinking about Ginny while kissing Luna, but I also think that makes it a bit more believable, too, especially given his bitterness earlier.

One thing I would have loved to see a little more of is the development between Dean and Luna. You mention them at Malfoy Manor and somewhat becoming friends - what did they talk about? Or was it just that they were the only two they recognized and it was a dark time? I feel like if you gave a little more backstory there, it would add so much more to this already great fic.

The kiss itself was sweet. It did seem a bit out of place, but I feel like it also worked for the pairing, and I'm curious to see if they wanted to pursue a possible relationship :P But it was also nice that you didn't laminate too much on the kiss - does that make sense?

Anyway, as you can probably tell, I think you did a nice job with this. And thanks for the request!

♥Jill

Author's Response: Hi :D

Well I'm glad the story is at least believable. I feel like if anyone was to be the comforter, it would definitely be Luna. She's a genuinely kind person and just seems to understand people really well, you know? And yes, I almost cried while writing the flashback scene :'-(

As for the kiss...we'll I've never been much good at writing scenes like that :/ But now that you've mentioned it, I might write a little prequel to this about them being at Malfoy Manor ;)

Anyway, thanks so much for your lovely review :)


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Review #20, by dreamgazer220The Great Tale of Me, Lyra Malfoy: II.

31st January 2017:
Hello my dear! I'm here with your review ♥

Thanks for coming back to request because this story is really starting to grow on me. It's such a quick read and Lyra's narration is hilarious. She really acts like a teenager, which is hard to write; sometimes teenagers come across as older and more mature in fics or in TV, but you do a great job of keeping her true to her age.

OMG, I can't believe Ben pushed her out the window! What a jerk. I can't wait to see the aftermath of that and if/how it'll effect their future friendship, although I don't think it's a grudge that Lyra will hold for long.

Also, I loved the banter with Albus and arguing over Scorpius. I have a feeling though that Albus really does care about her.

Speaking of which, it was refreshing to see Draco and Astoria referred to as "Mum" and "Dad" instead of a typical Mother and Father. It spoke volumes about their relationship and their upbringing, and I'm glad that they were all there at the courtroom for her. ♥

Also, I hope we get to meet TJ! He sounds like an interesting character. And this line made me LOL: Okay, so you guys dont want to sit through a horrible court story, so instead Ill tell you about Bens boyfriend, like I promised. I don't know why but it was just perfect.

In terms of CC, I don't have much that I didn't mention in my previous review, but more descriptions (even if they're quick) would be good. Also, here: Just checking up on my soon to be sister in-law. He says. I think you can have a comma separating the "sister-in-law," and the "he says", like that. If that makes sense. But that's just a nit-picky thing. XD

Otherwise, you're doing a great job with this and as I mentioned, I'm really starting to enjoy Lyra's character and her narration.

Thanks for the request!

♥Jill

Author's Response: Hey Jill, you're welcome and thanks for getting here so quick with that review!

Well, I myself am a teenager, so I think that's why. Normally adults create teenaged characters, so they've kind of lost touch with what it's like to be Lyra's age.

Yeah, they're definitely a very happy friendly family!

They were however all at the house. Only her father came to get her.

Oh you do, he's a good friend of Lyra's!

Thank you, and you're welcome!

Thanks again Jill,

-Lily


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Review #21, by dreamgazer220The Harder They Fall: A Snake in the Den

25th January 2017:
HELLO I'M SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REVIEW THIS CHAPTER! ♥♥♥

Okay so like, I've told you that Finndley is my OTP of the fanfic world right now, right? Because they totally are. I love their dynamic and how Finn is slowly becoming more and more aware of her existence, and he doesn't know why and he finds it annoying, which is adorable and so very Finn.

Okay so I loved the opening scene, and OH GOD FINN IS GOING TO BE MORALLY COMPROMISED NOW AND I AM SO. HERE. FOR. IT. I love love love his character growth and you do it so well and naturally, like he doesn't immediately love her and want to spend time with her.

And I loved the duel scene, I loved that he made sure to get close to her and I loved their talking under their breath, and Tom totally knows because he's smart. And Grindelwald is totally the evil wizard after Mara, I KNOW IT.

AND THEN CAN WE TALK ABOUT DRUNK FINN AND DRUNK BRINDLEY AND THE BLANKET FORT AND THE KISS AND I'M SORRY FOR THE CAPSLOCK BUT IT WAS SO WONDERFUL. It was simple and it felt natural and so very right for them. I can't wait to see if Brindley remembers what happened and how they're going to act around each other after this.

I also loved Finn taking care of her and Brindley giving him a hard time about the Hufflepuff common room, and I just loved everything, okay?!?!

And you. I know you're going through a rough patch but I hope things get better soon because you're amazing and this chapter was amazing.

Love you!

♥ J

Author's Response: It makes my heart burst with happiness to hear you call them your fanfic OTP *heart eyes* You're the best, Jill, love you!

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Review #22, by dreamgazer220stranger things: curious

22nd January 2017:
Hi there! Here with your review :]

The beginning of this story, the part in the italics, is very intriguing and it pulled me right in. Her father seems very wise and I have a feeling the paths are going to play a large role in the story. Charlotte strikes me as someone who doesn't like change, based on that and her attitude, and I have a feeling she's going to get hit with a whole lot of change real fast.

It was nice to see her with a, er, sort of friend in Mary, though, even though she seems to only tolerate her. I did enjoy that Mary has a backbone that we could see and I hope she gets to use it later on; I'm also wondering what's going to break down Charlotte's walls.

It made me chuckle that she's a very apathetic Quidditch captain. She just seems very apathetic about everything, but I wonder if that has something to do with her being half-inferius? Is that a creature we know of and I'm blanking on? Either way, I'm interested to see how that plays a role here too.

And of course James would need more time for Quidditch tryouts. Of course.

Overall, this was a cute start to the story! I enjoyed rerading it. :) Thank you for the request!

-Jill

Author's Response: Oh wow, this review really hit it on the head! I'm so happy that you enjoyed Mary, as I was afraid she would become too predictable or too much of a pushover. She and Charlotte's relationship wikl be explained as the story moves forward.
Also, inferius are the reanimated murder victims that Voldemort used in the first war...mysterious

thanks again for the review!
blackballet


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Review #23, by dreamgazer220The Heir of Slytherin: The Heir of Slytherin

10th January 2017:
Hi there! Here with your requested review :)

This is a very intriguing concept. I love the idea that there's someone in Tom's house and year that caught on to what he was doing, and that Olive considered them friends because he helped her with Potions. For a (somewhat) long one-shot, the piece itself flowed pretty well. Nothing seemed too abrupt; the transitions worked.

I also liked that there were muggleborns in Slytherin, at least in Tom's time. It's entirely possible that they got thinned out over the years, and Olive definitely showed some strong Slytherin characteristics. Also, her inner monologue was hilarious at times and she definitely had me chuckling, which was a nice break in the darkness that was surrounding this one-shot.

To be honest, I was a little disappointed when I saw that it was complete. I wanted to know what was going to happen next! It stands on its own just fine, but there's definitely room to grow, too, if you ever considered expanding it into a short story, novella, or novel. I'm curious about Tom and Olive's relationship and how it grew over time and how it would change; he clearly didn't think she was as close to him - or he just didn't care, which is a very Tom trait.

Writing Tom Riddle is incredibly hard, and I think you pulled it off here. He really can be such a cruel jerk. And I like that she went to go check on Mrytle after she teased her, that seemed like a Hufflepuff trait and it was refreshing to see it in a Slytherin :P

The only thing I was a little curious about was how Olive seemed to know everything we found out in CoS. The basilisk was explained by the book, so I was cool with that, but how did she know about Horcruxes? I thought that was super restricted info because it was really dark magic, but it makes her character all the more interesting depending on how she knows that. :) It's also interesting that one of her parents was a muggle, I liked it!

Overall, good job with this. I haven't read anything quite like it and I do enjoy some me some Tom Riddle every now and again.

Thanks for the request!
♥Jill

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for the review!

Usually, I like writing about things that aren't explained in detail in the books, and an idea came to write about what would happen if someone caught Tom, because it could be likely and it would be very much like his personality to 'sort them out'. I was trying not to be too detailed about his relationship with Olive, but I hoped it would show that he didn't really feel very attached to her.

I think that Slytherins are sometimes thought of as just cruel pure bloods, so Olive was used to show that that was not always the case.

To be honest, I had completely forgotten that Horcruxes were very restricted and that not many people would know about it. It may have to do with the fact that Olive was friends with Tom and he was very interested in them, but I would leave it to the reader's imagination.

Once again, thank you so much for the review, it was really helpful and encouraging at the same time :)


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Review #24, by dreamgazer220Periphery: Introduction

31st December 2016:
Hi there! Here with your requested review!

Wow. To be honest, I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I opened this story up, but it wasn't that, and I mean this in the absolute best possible way.

This is a powerful introduction. At first, it seems normal, someone waking up early and making breakfast, and then you get hit with the James and Lily paragraph and I'm immediately drawn in. I want to know what happened and why she appears to feel so guilty or just awful about something. She's lying, and I want to know why. I want to know why her mother doesn't like the magical world. I want to know about her relationship with Sirius and the Potters, and I can't even imagine what it's like, finding out that your best friend is dead.

Your writing in this is great; it played like a movie in my mind. I could feel the cold and I could see everything happening. There is clearly more to your characters than what meets the eye, and those are my absolute favorites.

It does start off a bit slow, but I think it works here; especially when you drop the bomb, so to speak, about Marlene; everything else picks up right from there. The descriptions are lovely and not overbearing or overly poetic; there's a good balance here.

An excellent start to this story. I'm adding this to my favorites so that I can come back and read more, but please feel free to re-request the following chapters as well!

♥Jill

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for taking the time to review, and I'm so sorry it took me ALMOST A MONTH to respond. Who do I think I am? Seriously, I appreciate this so much, your review is so lovely and thoughtful.

I'm so glad that this chapter has been generally successful (at least with reviewers)! Usually I end up doing an "information dump" in my first chapter, so I was actively trying not to this time.

I wanted to start with a scene that was outwardly calm and somber (wintry morning, childhood home, gray light, mundane tasks like making breakfast) but disperse little hints of the awful events that have been happening. First, her mother's illness, second, Lily and James and lastly Marlene. I'm glad that it played well in your mind. Without spoiling too much I want to say that this fic is going to deal a lot with Chloe straddling the line between two worlds, the Magical and Muggle, and how it affects her relationships with her family, Marlene, Sirius--everyone. So scenes like this feel calm and safe, outwardly, because they're far removed from the war. But clearly, as evidenced by Sirius's letter, she won't ever be truly in one world and not the other.

Thank you so so much, Jill! I may request another review from you, if I'm allowed after being such a jerk and never responding ♥


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Review #25, by dreamgazer220The unusual tale of Shirley the Squib and Brian the Boggart: The unusual tale of Shirley the Squib and Brian the Boggart

31st December 2016:
Chiara! Here with your review ♥

Thank you so much for dropping this story into my review thread. I'm not sure it's something I would have read otherwise, and this is seriously one of the most unique and creative stories I've read thus far.

I loved so many things about this. I read the entire story in a very calm, soothing head voice, like one you would use to read a story to a child as you're trying to get them to fall asleep at night. The flow was just effortless and the premise is incredible. Seriously, how did you think of something like this??

Your characters. They're fantastic. I loved that when Brian and Shirley met, his natural instinct wasn't to scare her, but it's what he was used to doing so he couldn't help it. I loved the idea that not all Boggarts are the same and that he prefered warmth, sunshine, and happy feelings. And poor Shirley, I can't imagine being a Squib and having such a harsh and cold father.

I really hope that Brian & Shirley did live happily ever after. I liked that you kept it open ended and a bit mysterious, but also hopeful. Does this even make sense?

Anyway, I loved this. Thanks for sharing this story with me!

♥♥
Jill

Author's Response: Jill! *wub* (one day I'll learn how to put hearts...)

Yes! I knew you would like it! :P
Jokes aside, I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. :D

I honestly don't know where the story came from, it just formed in my mind all of a sudden... Glad you liked the idea behind it.

Glad you liked the characters, too. Brian and Shirley are both so cute, aren't they? And yes, poor Shirley, she didn't have the most affectionate of families...

It makes a lot of sense. That's exactly what I was trying to do. And they did live happily ever after. ;)

Thanks to you for coming here and for leaving such a sweet review!

Tons of love and hugs,
Chiara


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